#colin may not have seen all of who penelope was (the same way penelope doesn't see all of who colin is) but in his not seeing her

[dollypopup]

yes yes, yeah yeah, blah blah 'Colin didn't see Penelope as a woman in S2 but Monopoly Man Plot Device did in S3' okay

I think we're all forgetting that Colin Bridgerton is miles and away better than Mr. NPC for this reason, in fact.

1: the 'I have given up on women (romance with women)' 'I am a woman' 'You are Pen, you do not count, you are my friend' is actually a really beautiful reassurance of Colin affirming his friendship and appreciation of Penelope OUTSIDE of romantic or sexual expectation. Which is RADICAL and wonderful. He loves Pen because she's PEN, not because she is a means to an end for marriage or a romp. Penelope is important to him and that he cannot give her up or bear the thought of never talking to her again. Yes, she found this hurtful because she wants to be an option, but

2: I actually think this will be the way that she realizes that being seen as a 'woman' is not enough. Debling is in his 30s, a man with a title and money and he says the right things and he courts her and he thinks she's pretty and it's NOT ENOUGH. She is not content in simply being seen as just a woman.

the entire purpose of Polin having interactions with other parties is to prove that it isn't enough for them. They require and desire and crave and NEED the emotional intimacy they have with each other that they can't get from anyone else. Because only with each other can they truly be themselves and unmask and be appreciated for the full people they are

because what Colin did, what he said, proves that he will forever be the better option. sure, maybe he didn't see Penelope as just a 'woman'

but he sees Penelope as a person

and that is infinitely better than anything Lorax Understudy could do in S3

[bigblab-talktotalk1]

I feel a lot of people misunderstand Portia in why she ask about Colin's love

One thing I find really disheartening about reactions/opinions on this episode is the conceptual clap backs of "Did Debling love her?!?!"

🙄😮‍💨

Because that response makes me feel someone is missing something in the storytelling. As a response, it has never made sense to me, because.... he never had to!

'Lord Debling was a reasonable match." This guy has acted in every single way The Gentleman. This guy has money, this guy came to Lady Featherington like a respectable adult and asked for Penelope's hand, this guy will be absent, and so THIS guy also Won't Hurt Her! She laid this out in episode 4, To Portia he is an IDEAL catch.

Then comes this news of Bitch-boy Colin (painting from a Portia-esque perspective), that she read IN WHISTLEDOWN!! He does not hold water with her 🚫 This Season, all she has seen of this dude is that he is a flirt. "The most desired man of the season." Regardless of what she thinks Penelope's feelings likely are, she only sees that Colin is NOT serious about her. Freshly back from galavanting across the sea, she does see Colin as serious PERIOD. All the letters Pen wrote, All the teas at Bridgerton house....for years Portia has watched him NEVER WANTING HER! Yet somehow an engagement occurred some time between her daughter leaving a party and family breakfast the next morning... 🤨🧐 Chat shit right?? Her mind must be screaming: HELP ME UNDERSTAND! (In a snarky, passive aggressive way - because she's the one)

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Portia has a right to feel awful disrespected that Colin "I'm a gentleman" Bridgerton didn't come to her first. Like they don't have beef!! 😳 He's been engaged to someone from the Featherington household before, yet... there was no wedding. But Pen (who she thinks of is having less attractions than Marina) somehow is different?

You know who extended the olive branch to the Featherington name to help saved them from drowning in the social ruin of the reveal of Marina's pregnancy? DAPHNE! He was mad at Marina sure, but you know who he showed he didn't care what happened to while he turned his back? You Penelope!! 🤷🏻‍♂️He could have helped soften the blow like Kate, Edwina, and Anthony tried to do after their failed wedding. But he didn't. And that's who Pen threw away an entire future to gamble on?? 🫨😣

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And while Portia doesn't know it yet, the fault for them being in that super precarious social is the SAME EXACT fucking person who is standing in front of her like she don't smell her own shit!! (personal mad when sitting in Portia's perspective)

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THAT 'S the guy Pen wants Portia to celebrate, who Pen believes is a better choice. Portia's looking for the better. "What more can you ask for?" she says an episode 4. The only thing Penelope seemed to believe held her back from commiting to Debling as her husband is this 'Love' nonsense. So if Colin is the Superior choice, he must be giving her what she thought was missing from a marriage, something she thought Debling couldn't provide!

"You have it?" - Portia.

Penelope says she's SURE he CARES about her. But 'care' wasn't the exceptional parameter? To be so certain that you just threw away a good 90% qualification-meeting gentleman, you must have heard this truth that gives you that 10% to match the fantasy were "LOVE"(which Big P don't believe in) is. Right? You thought, you know, but what did he say it??? Has he told you he's giving you what makes choosing him over Debling worth it? Are you getting what you gambled for?!

Portia looks DEFEATED because Pen is betting on fantasies and wishes, without even the vocalized proof of Colin's feelings!!!!!!

"Oh Penelope"= "Girl I feel bad for you", "you sweet summer child." She's repulsed that Pen was SO short-sighted.

I feel like while her reaction is extreme and harsh, it really isn't too difficult to imagine a semi-reasonable parent (with Portia's trauma) may be distraught hearing that their daughter chose to follow a career in ..... like the Arts, that she loves (Colin), when she already had a place at Yale law School (Debby). Without Colin's declaration it's like she mailed in her withdrawal letter and is packing to move into an artist collective commune -- without a lease! Not even guaranteed a spot, setting fire to your previous life plans! It is not right, and it is not okay to treat your children as if they need to live their life as you would. However, for someone who holds security above all Pen has thrown away her last chance at a good life. Pen has shattered a chance at bedrock that Portia knows Pen don't even understand how much she should value! Portia has shielded her from how it feels to watch the ground you've built your life on crumble from underneath her. The fear of having no husband, no son, and no money. Which I think adds to the anger in her tone.

Debling never NEEDED to love Penelope. Why he was a better, more secure match than Colin was everything BESIDES love. What makes Debling a valuable prospect has a very little overlap with what makes Colin Penelope's first choice. Therefore trying to grade them on the same standard..... it doesn't matter if Portia cares about love, it doesn't matter if Debling would EVER say he loves Penelope. So while it matters if Colin has told her that he loves her, he's the only one who has to.

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I do not think she is right all the time, or even often. But one can likely tell from the above that I'm a Portia Featherington fan. I'm a fan of food in tummies and shoes on feet. Did she decide she needed big bucks to eat and dress the way she wanted.......👀🙄

---

As someone who looks at Colin as an insecure 23-year-old male... He is my baby. I defend all his big emotions. When he's having a temper-tantrum, I let him kick himself tired. I'm never villainizing him for basically anything he says or does because..... I know he's really a soft boy. And I know Pen doesn't mind. But that doesn't mean we can blame Portia (without having the audience view) for seeing him differently.

[thissccounthatesfascists]

TL asleep? cool.

(long post, strap in)

i wanna talk about colin's wet dream. that was the most demisexual shit i have EVER seen. there's not even any sex. its just a romanticized, elevated version of their first kiss. its colin's subconscious wanting to replay the moment he fell in love with his best friend in the Most way possible.

lets break it down:

we got the same location of their first kiss. Complete with mood lighting and a fog machine. It’s giving pride and prejudice 2005

Penelope comes out (looking gorgeous, of course) to their rendezvous spot, which has been previously agreed on.

colin thanks her for meeting him, she doesn't know why he's asked her to come

he confesses his feelings for her

she reciprocates (this is the important part of this to me. ) her wanting him, makes him want her more (do you see where the demisexual colin energy is coming from? do you understand?)

they make out

he kisses her neck as she pants his name over and over (see my point above re: her wanting him makes him want her more)

he wakes up, absolutely shook

this is an idealized reimagining for colin: during their first kiss he was basically in shock, his new personality chokes on the reality and vulnerability of the moment

in the book he talks about how he tries to think of something witty to say but finds that no words are necessary, and there's no combination of witty banter or suave bravado that could help in that moment. the rake persona that he has put on up to this point absolutely fails him. but here, in this dream, words are crucial, the declarations of love are why its sexy! (demi colin is canon idc idc)

and its so important that this wet dream, the idealized version of this scenario happens like this. because we've also seen colin having sex with sex workers (and luke newton has talked about this) but his energy in those scenes is very detached, very focused on him and his pleasure with zero connection to the women he's with. he has two different threesomes (if you can even call the second one that, he's barely even looking at them) with four different women and we know nothing about these girls. they don't even get names. they don't matter, and its simply not. as. good. as the feeling of kissing pen. there is no connection

which is, i think, why he taps out during the threesome in ep4. he tries to go back to the devil-may-care attitude toward sex and intimacy that he had before kissing pen, he tries to return to that mask he put on of "the rake" and it just doesn't work! he feels nothing! in fact he feels disdain for the position he's in and the choices he's made!

the threesome in ep4 mirrors the outburst he has later at the club really well. like he's so frustrated with this position he's put himself in, the men he's surrounded himself with. he literally says "none of you are gentlemen!" "you're actually gross and disrespectful!"

a line that i love is :

"... it is tiring, is it not? The necessity imposed on us to remain cavalier about the one thing in life that holds genuine meaning. Do you not find it lonely?"

and they laugh! in! his! face! because these are men that feel perfectly fine sleeping with strangers and bragging about their "conquests" to their buddies

but that is not who colin is! he's still very young. and his experience with marina (who tried to seduce him and it didn't work, imo bc he just didn't feel that passion, that love that makes his relationship with penelope so different) has left him jaded, but not nearly as jaded as he wants to believe. even if he wants to be casual about romance and sex, he just isn't. this man proposed to marina after knowing her for what? a couple weeks? He is an All or Nothing type of guy. He has that Bridgerton 'when i fall in love i will only ever talk about my spouse' Gene

Now: some costuming details that i love:

Her hair:

(i know this is a stretch but go with me here) her hair is in slightly tighter curls than we've seen this season, which to me seems like a nod to colin liking (or at least not minding) her hair the way it was in previous seasons and maybe not caring as much as we might think about her transformation. but its still down and flowy and in line with her new style

let's talk about this! dress! (it has genuinely been keeping me up at night)

the sleeves seem much more similar to the silhouettes of her costumes in previous seasons, not necessarily in shape but in style

the sleeves are bulkier, compared to this season's costumes, which while they might have been the same size and shape, they are made of much lighter material, giving the silhouette a softer, more mature feeling.

compare it to this dress from s3 ep2: it looks very similar with the sleeve shape and the floral appliqués, but in the dress in the image above, the appliqués are much more obvious, closer to penelope's style under her mother's tastes

the point i'm trying to make here will be made more clear in a sec. what I am NOT trying to say that colin prefers her in her little girl dresses with loud designs, bright colors, and silly hairdos. he just associates those bigger, brighter, louder style choices with penelope.

And he has always liked Penelope. Even when he didn’t take her seriously as a potential partner, he always saw her as an equal. He never made fun of her silly dresses and questionable hair choices.

This has nothing to do with Colin but i feel like i should point it out:

there is something to be said about how her muted pastel color palette along with the more demure style that she has adopted shows that she is trying to Show Up with this social season, but as a wallflower, she is shy. she's always hated those brightly colored dresses her mother put her in, because no matter how close to the wall she clung, she was always visible. she was always vulnerable to ridicule.

but i don't think colin knows or realizes this because why would he think critically about the specific style changes she's made. and he probably doesn't really make the connection of the influence her mother has on her clothing. and around him, pen has never seemed all that shy. she's been confident and witty. if you pair her personality that shines around colin with her louder outfits, it seems more congruous

(take the scene from season 2 where we get the line "My purpose shall set me free") this is a side of penelope that no one, not even eloise!, sees

what his subconscious knows is that he associates pen with vibrant, textured, and often 3-dimensional outfits, and his subconscious creates a dress that fits her new style, with a little more of that featherington flair thrown in.

the fucking tie in front: i feel like this is a very clear reference/ foreshadowing to the mirror scene

for those of you who haven't read the book, the mirror scene doesn't actually happen, but colin tells penelope about a fantasy he has about touching her in front of a mirror

this is a pretty small offhand comment made while they're having sex for the first time but amongst book fans the scene has become pretty fleshed out i think, with fanfics especially

because the idea that it touches on is colin fantasizing about penelope seeing herself the way he does, as sexy and desirable (he seriously cares about her pleasure so much its sickening, I'm actually sick)

and although Book Colin doesn't mention it, the idea of him undressing her in front of a mirror has become a popular story set-up

i think the tie in the front sort of plays on the time period sensibilities of propriety: this is a time where in "good" society an unmarried man and woman would never touch skin to skin, its why all the women wear gloves most of the time. its why the scenes in season 1 between daphne and simon play on the excitement of removing the gloves: its a taboo thing

this is unrelated to this post but i need an explanation as to why pen isn't wearing gloves in a lot of her scenes this season, like the scandal that that would cause??? I'm assuming its representative of her growing into her sexuality; and bridgerton is a fantasy, not a historical nonfiction, but like some consistency would be nice guys bc i was so confused abt all the skin-on-skin contact happening. even with Francesca and Lord Samadani WHEN HE KISSES HER BARE HAND I WAS SO UNCOMFORTABLE FOR HER. especially because of all the glove-related tension in s1. but i digress.

so the tie in front is sort of a dare. even though its clearly an addition, and untying wouldn't actually remove her dress, its her (colin's subconscious version of her anyway) way of saying: "you could untie this, you could undress me if you wanted to" "i love you" "i want you"

and i think that's beautiful. this season is great and i will die on this hill.

If you've made it this far, congrats! you're just as feral as me! come and gnaw on the drywall with me while i post fanfics inspired by this season: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55988977/chapters/142190584

chapters 1+2 of my new fic are up

photos are from : https://www.cap-that.com/bridgerton/302/index.php?image=bridgerton3x02_1502.jpg

[jonesywrites]

I feel compelled, so I must.

*Now with images for context

Man I shit you not, I have so much stuff to do like SO MUCH but I also have ADHD and a tendency toward hyperfixation so I am compelled, I tell you.

I'm writing for a whole ass other ship, filming, and editing for my YT channel. But I saw gifs, and I read tweets, and I saw hot takes and then I decided to react to Season 3 Part I for my channel.

I AM OBSESSED.

I'm in the middle of editing my reactions to Ep 1-4 and I just HAVE to chime in with these observations I keep having as I go through and re-live each Polin scene while editing. I know some of this has been seen/said before but I'm a newb to this fandom and I just finished listening to all of the audiobooks (save Simon and Daphne's story) so I just gotta! I OBSERVED A LOT and there's a lot here, so . . .

Colin turns to the Featherington house as soon as he arrives home and greets his family.

Because whether he's aware of it or not, he's thinking of one of those Featheringtons, who happens to be standing there as he debuts "the new Colin" to the people he cares about the most -- which includes Pen, they are telegraphing to us in this moment -- (right after testing some of that newfound charm on a gaggle of giggly girls). I don't think he greets her right away because he isn't ready yet but you can see his smile/smirk when he spots her -- like "Yep, Pen, feast your eyes, it's the new me, and NOW I'll bet you'll want to hear about my travels."

Eloise is the first person to spot that he may not really be into this "new Colin".

The show GOES OUT OF ITS WAY to let you know this isn't really Colin, that his heart isn't really into it, from jump. The siblings Bridgerton do a little "we see each other" when he questions her about trying to fit into society after all this time -- they're two sides of the same coin. He's too sensitive and romantic for the rakes of the ton and she's too independent and free-thinking for the boring trappings of the marriage mart, but here they both are. Pretending.

Colin goes out of his way to test his new charm on half the ladies at the Queen's garden party thing BEFORE he approaches Pen to talk for the first time since he got back -- at first glance he's just doing his thing, being the new him, enjoying himself and his new ability to woo the ladies but IT IS THIS AUTHOR'S HUMBLE OPINION THAT HE WAS TESTING HIS CHARM TO ITS LIMITS BEFORE HE WENT OVER TO THE ONE GIRL HE ACTUALLY WANTS TO/TRUELY ENJOYS CONVERSING WITH TO LAY IT ON HER.

Wanna bet me he wasn't thinking about Pen while he was away, wondering why she wasn't answering, plotting to talk to her when he got back, plotting to see if his new charm would work on her because she's Pen and her opinion means a lot to him? He doesn't get why yet but it's there -- the tip of the iceberg, only a strong desire for her attention and approval right now, but I can sooooo see how that started to quickly burn into a much more intense desire for just...her.

I adore how Penelope asks the dressmaker for new dresses in the fashion of "what they are wearing in Paris" after Colin tells her his new wardrobe is what's all the rage in Paris from is travels.

He always counts on her just being Pen in the citrus colors hanging on the wall, a safe place, but then he sees her in that green dress and I truly believe this is the moment he realizes -- nah fam, this isn't just "Pen my friend who doesn't count (as a woman)", this is "wow who is that woman in the striking color with pretty lips and fiery red hair?"

This poor lovesick fellow has no idea why every time he sees her at a ball his heart does a funny thing and he suddenly can't see anyone else and he gets the urge to drink whatever's in his hand/close by.

HEY BABE IT'S BECAUSE YOU LIKE HER. A LOT. She isn't just Pen who doesn't count, she is SPECIAL.

Much has been said about the "Goodnight, Mr. Bridgerton" scene, but I'll just add that you can tell when Colin is being genuine and totally himself vs when he's trying to charm her into relaxing with him/being more like her usual self.

When he says "the colour rather suits you," he's being her good friend who is pleased to see her looking so good but he's also saying that to himself, judging by his tone, like "yeah girl you should wear green more often, this makes you look damn good". And when he says he misses her, he means it, but you can also hear the armor of that New Colin Charm in his tone. It's a vulnerable thing to admit, so he uses a devilish smile and has a wink in his eyes because so far that has worked on every girl here since he got back. Not Pen, though ... he was SHOOK when she rebuffed him and called him cruel.

Yes, he is absolutely panicked that he might lose his one true friend in all of the fickle ton, but also . . . Colin is totally realizing how hot Pen is in the garden scene. Colin is looking into her gorgeous eyes and admitting how she makes him feel and you can see the real-time realization in his eyes/expression. Handshake? He is acting on his impulse to touch her while using his newfound charm to disguise his curiosity.

Colin wants to hang out with her as much as possible because that's how comfortable and appreciated she makes him feel but also it's my opinion that he, at least subconsciously, also wants to keep looking at her, getting closer to her, winning her favor. He's not even thinking about the results of the whole charm lessons thing, he's just thinking about being around Penelope as much as possible because of that realization that she makes existing in a world that is determined to misunderstand him (and has "forced" him to don a mask/facade to survive) bearable.

I agree with those who pointed out that he is taken aback by Pen's awkward flirting session with the fan because normally when they're alone talking all he sees/experiences is her wit, intelligence, keen ability to read between the lines of their society, etc.

Also, you can see he doesn't even care what the other blokes think of her, he thinks she's friggin adorable -- he can't keep the smile off his face even as he's sympathizing with her for going down faster than the Titanic-which-doesn't-exist-yet-duh-but-analogy-with-me-here.

Every moment of the private lesson scene, from him instantly abandoning the card game with his siblings to the way he planned out the whole thing and thought about where everyone would be and what window of time they'd have to "practice" shows THAT HE WAS IN FACT VERY EAGERLY AWAITING HER VISIT for their lesson. Matter of fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was the one who suggested the game in the garden to get everyone out of the house in anticipation of Pen’s arrival.

It is this author's humble opinion that Colin really, really wanted to pretend to flirt with Penelope to satisfy his nagging, subconscious (yet fluttering to the surface) curiosity and I AM WILLING TO BET MY TWIN SISTER'S WHOLE 2024 SALARY that (especially after her compliment shook him to his core) they wouldn't have made it much longer without him kissing her if they hadn't been interrupted and she had't read his journal.

He wanted alone time, he wanted intimacy, he wanted to flirt -- they would have charmed each other right into each other's pants if those lessons were allowed to continue, mark my words.

Colin's body was at least several weeks ahead of him. The body doesn't lie. Touching her skin in the garden. Leaning into her whenever they speak (with the convenient excuse of their height difference), pressing his palm into her lower back to escort her to the drawing room, sitting and letting her hold his hand for an unnecessarily long pause before forcing himself to stop staring at her and end the impropriety (escape the intensity of the moment to breathe and process, more like).

Jealous Colin(tm) with his intense eyes and hard jawline is everything and hot af, end of observation.

I love Dream Pen for Colin. The way he dressed her. The way his mind envisions her being breathless for him.

The way he pictures himself just holding her close and indulging in hot, sultry kisses until she's practically melting in his arms. THIS IS WHAT HE DREAMS ABOUT, WHAT HE TRULY WANTS. This boy is a Romantic with a capital ROMANTIC and I JUST LOVE how his dream about Pen reflects that so clearly. We've seen him struggling to pay attention or care in brothels but he displays more sexual intensity, passion, and lust in this romantic wet dream about simply confessing his feelings than any other time he's seen on screen with a woman he's supposed to find attractive.

The "Sweet Treats" scene, as I believe I've seen others pointing out, is --yes, sweet-- at a glance. But also HOT AF. He's pining, he's nervous, he's jealous, she's so sweet and lovely confessing her excitement and hopes for the match with Deblin. But it's also hot b/c I meeeean....The pink everywhere (pink walls, get it), her lips and his reaction to her glancing her tongue across them, his fingers flexing out of nerves but also the subconscious urge to touch, maybe even caress, is all in his stiff, hovering body language. Like, if he could shove those treats off one of those tables, throw her against it and ravage her "sweet treat" right then there in that pink little tent, homeboy totally would have if society/propriety/scandal/watching eyes weren't a concern.

SIDENOTE: I think Deblin was definitely attracted to Pen, it wasn't SOLELY a practical match for him.

He says she can make men wither within seconds of their first meeting and he definitely looks at her in a way that says he's charmed, intrigued, impressed, etc. So I think even they married, eventually he would start to miss her while away, then ache for her, then he would come home to her and he would fall. Gradually maybe, but I do believe Pen was right to hope love could grow between them. However, I'm so so sooo glad neither of them settled.

WHAT CAN BE SAID ABOUT THE CARRIAGE SCENE THAT HASN'T ALREADY BEEN SAID??? It's one of the hottest love scenes I've ever seen, and it's not because everybody is naked or because there's kink or anything crazy. It's because (for me) the actors TRULY CARE ABOUT THE DETAILS. Almost every frame has something you can freeze and stare at in awe, they DID THAT. Colin finally FEELING IT, with the one person who can truly see him and inspire those deep feelings he's been yearning for was HOT AF. Pen basically being at his mercy but also realizing her power over him and embracing it by letting him ruin her because it's COLIN (she wouldn't let anyone else do that, IMO, not even Deblin). MY FAVORITE PART:

At the end, when they exhale and slump into each other/the carriage seat in sync. She looks like she's never felt anything like this in her life (cuz she ain't) and he looks like he's finally HOME. And I'm not talking about his family's estate -- I specifically mean right there in Penelope's bosom, between her legs, her breath, her eyes, her moans for him, like he looks relieved and satisfied AND THEN HE'S LIKE "SO I'M NEVER LETTING THIS GO. DONE DEAL, YOU'RE MY PENELOPE, NOW."

Ugh. I loooove this couple! I HAD TO GET THIS OUT OF MY BODY. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. Gonna add stills for the moments I mention once Tumblr stops being a bitch.

[terriblepersongreatseamonster]

(Please bear with me through this forthcoming ramble, because I've had all of 6 hours of sleep in the last two days and I'm a bit all over the place. Hopefully this will be coherent 😅)

I don't watch Bridgerton (that's a whole other post that I don't feel like typing out write now), but I've been fascinated by what I've seen on here from this newest season.

I turn 40 this year, and depending on your age you either think that's getting old or you think that I'm still relatively young. I bring this up, because what I'm seeing about Penelope and Colin is honestly something that I never thought I'd see.

Since I was twelve, I've dealt with weight issues. (At this point in my life, I know it's due to PCOS and some other health issues). I am barely 5'0" and typically fit into the 18/20 size clothes.

Being a teen in the late 90s/early 00s meant I didn't see people who looked like me get to be the romantic lead. Girls who looked like me were relegated to being the funny, supportive friend in the background. We got bullied and reminded that we weren't worthy of love or success because of our size. We went to school dances alone and sat on the bleachers while our friends slow-danced with their dates. We didn't get the love story, we got to watch someone else have the love story.

For such a long time I believed that my value as a person was tied to my weight. No matter what I did the weight wouldn't budge. Hell, I'm on Ozempic for my diabetes and I'm starting to think I'm the only person on the planet it doesn't cause weight loss for (it does however do a marvelous job of controlling my blood sugar, and at this point a healthy A1C is the thing that matters most).

I went on a few dates in my 20s with men who used my size as their reason to not continue dating (and yes, they all knew my size when they asked me out). When I started dating my husband, I went into it fully anticipating that no matter how much fun we might have he wouldn't be able to see past my size. I was wrong, and am so grateful for that.

It was only about 2 years ago that I started learning to see that I was far more than my weight. That whether I was my current size or managed to somehow be 100 lbs lighter, I'd still be the same person on the inside. I'd still have the same talents and skills, the same personality and humor. And while I've grown to see & love myself for who I am, it's still a day-by-day thing that I struggle with.

So, seeing this:

And this:

It hits me in a way that is hard to explain. I never thought I'd get to see something like this. Never thought I'd get to see someone my size and shape shown as beautiful and desirable.

Look at this woman, she is absolutely lovely:

I don't really know how to end this because now I'm crying. I guess my main point is that I feel seen and it's been an emotional rollercoaster.

And I may have to turn Netflix back on so I can see this season 😅

[lapelduide]

Listen y'all. I love Simon&Daphne, Kate&Anthony, Charlotte&George and Penelope&Colin. I love all of them and I can WITHOUT HUMILIATING ANY OF THEM FOR FLATTERING ANOTHER. They all are good in their own ways. You can love s1, s2 and QC -i do too- and I respect that but I have no respect for those who are bringing down upcoming s3 for praising QC. Saying it can never be as good as QC. Fr why can't it be? It surely can. Colin and Penelope are complex characters playing by wonderful actors.

You may not like Penelope and Colin but as it has been said before s1 Anthony was unlikeable too and it literally takes 2 episodes for people to fall in love with him. So why can't you love Polin too?

I sometimes wonder are we actually watching the same series with those who are saying Pen is evil and Colin is selfish.

Well the reason I felt the need to write my thoughts down was a comment I saw. A fans comment basically saying she/he and most of the fans -you are a single person talk for YOURSELF wtf- will not watch s3 if there will not be Kate and Anthony as much as s2. That Penelope has so much screen time and that's why "most of the fans" don't like her.

First of all I think toxic Kathony fans need to understand that their season was season 2. They can't have the whole series and can't be the main focus all of the upcoming seasons. GET OVER IT. IF YOU WANT TO WATCH THEM AS MAIN COUPLE GO AND REWATCH SEASON 2. If you are going to watch s3 just for them then simply don't watch.

And Penelope having so much screen time? I don't think so but even if she does, it is understandable. Because guess what?- She is Lady Whistledown! SHE IS IMPORTANT. If you are disliking a character because of this shitty reason then don't blame the character. I personally don't think there is something wrong about her screen time, in fact we are understanding Pen's pov. -I mean I hope WE are. At least I do.-

I can't understand why some people can't assimilate s3's main couple? One way or another the explanations I read was nothing more than excuses.

-Pen should have character development through season 3 and Polin season should come after that? She will have this in s3.

-There is so much to solve? Well that is one of the reasons why it will be exciting.

I am not even going to talk about the ones who are saying Penelope should BEG Colin, Eloise and Marina; the ones who are saying Colin doesn't deserve Pen, the ones who are saying Pen doesn't deserve Colin; defending Colin loves Marina, that Polin shouldn't be the endgame etc. Huh, I have seen enough.

Anyways. Nobody can change my opinion about how good s3 will be but I was furious after reading that comment. So thank y'all for reading my little verdantly TED Talk.

Since I am so nervous... here are some gifs for some relaxation. (I wish i could create gifs too...)

[thekatebridgerton]

The thing about Colin...

So I've been seeing a lot of discourse lately about how Polin shippers never seem to care about Colin. And it made me realize I've never actually done a deep dive on why I find his character so interesting. The way I've done with Anthony and sometimes Benedict. So let's have a talk about Colin Bridgerton

I am very much attached to book Colin in the sense that in RMB we get to see something cute Luke hasn't shown yet: the depth behind his smiling face. And pretty much in the same way Hunger games movie viewers don't realize how they become part of the capitol when they reduce Katniss struggle to just her relationship with Peeta and Gale. Colin Bridgerton is the perfect example of how we become part of 'the ton' when we reduce Colin to simply his smiling happy go lucky looking self.

Because Colin is a great friend, I've said it many times, I would love to have a friend like him, he's very loyal, wouldn't abandon someone in need if he could help it, he has a great sense of humor, he is supportive and kind, roots for the people he loves and encourages them to follow their dreams. It makes sense for his favorite sister to be Daphne because, during Daphne's book, the reason she couldn't find a husband was because men got to know her and saw her as such a good friend it didn't register that she was also a woman.

Colin on the outside is in fact the quintessential happy, smiling, friendly gentleman. Penelope thinks that, lady Whistledown writes that. We as readers are fooled into thinking that as well. This is where it gets fun.

Because there's a point in the narrative where Colin shows his dark side and the reader is like 'wait where did that come from? I've never seen him act like that before ' and of course you didn't dear reader, you're the ton, you're the person who only knows him from Lady Whistledown. That's the trick. Because he didn't show his dark side to you! He's never shown it to anyone! He's charming Colin!

And this is where I absolutely love Colin. Because yes, he's funny and charming and a riot to hang out with, he's well read, well traveled and an excellent conversationalist. But behind all that, is a man who feels deeply and loves passionately and gets easily frustrated, what I mean to say is that underneath Charming Colin, is someone completely different who doesn't know how to break out of the label everyone has put on him for so many years and expresses his emotions in a clumsy extravagant way that is so Colin. Also behold, surprise surprise, he has a temper, he's got a responsible streak that's more in line with Anthony's years of conditioning than he would care to admit. And insecurities about his place in the world that lead him to lash out a time or two.

So if you ask me, I like the Colin we get to know underneath the superficial charming Colin thing he's got going on, more than I like the version we get in Lady Whistledown.

And it's funny seeing so many show viewers take his character at face value. Even Polin shippers, write him off as ' cute cuddly wouldn't harm a fly Colin, super friendly, clueless Colin ' when he's actually one of the most deep characters there is, exactly because he's a social chameleon and tailors himself to be what he thinks people expect him to be. As a third son, as a brother and as a friend. Never actually showing anyone his negative side because he thinks people won't like him any more ( and from the comments I see dissing his characterization in RMB that may very well be true)

The man may not have created a whole alter ego to blow off his negative emotions but believe me he has them and he's self aware enough to know he's expected to never show them. Which is actually worse in the long run because he ends up a mess of surpressed dissatisfaction and frustration.

Maybe that's what I find so interesting about him that his character is just as two faced as Penelope. I'm not saying that Colin isn't genuinely nice and funny and friendly. I'm saying he's not like that 24/7 and that he pretends he is just to cover up his insecurities. Because deep down he wants to be liked and doesn't tolerate rejection well.

It takes a lot for him to come to terms with the fact that he wants to be liked for who he truly is and not just for the mask he puts up Infront of the ton and his family. Assimilating both his happy go lucky charming side, with his darker more temperamental and dominant side that he never showed to people before. It's as much of a journey of self discovery for Colin as it is for the reader.

I had hopes that in s3 we actually were led to find out that no Colin isn't actually some clueless himbo all the time, because underneath that he's just as restless and dissatisfied with himself as the rest of his family but he doesn't show it. I would love for s3 to take us behind the scenes of clueless Colin to show us exactly all those sides of him he doesn't share with anyone else. But I don't know, maybe Shondaland will keep him just as friendly and seemingly wonderful as it's been showing him so far.

And that's the tea

[mariesstudying]

Edit because of some replies I got: I deleted a paragraph about Eloise's reaction to the Marina and Colin thing because I had misremembered and was wrong. Also added an anti-eloise tag because even though I'm not anti-Eloise, the post isn't pro-eloise

I have thoughts about Eloise Bridgerton and I'm dumping them in this post. Before I start dumping I do want to say that in no way am I some Penelope stan who thinks she is perfect in every way and my issues with Eloise are critiques of her character that I’m sure will be fixed once there is more focus on her storyline.

I have 2 problems with Eloise: 1) the fact that she seems to be unable to accept or understand her privilege; and 2) that she can't seem to understand other people's pov's.

Eloise can't seem to comprehend or understand her own privilege. Now I know that we haven't reached her season yet meaning her character development has yet to come but it's so infuriating and irritating to watch Eloise because she is so privileged but can't seem to acknowledge or be grateful for it. I also fully acknowledge that because it's the Regency era, we can't expect intersectional feminism but I'm still annoyed lol. We see her go to these rallies and get Theo entangled in her shit without seeming to be able to understand that whilst what she is doing won't really affect her (just fulfil her curiosity), Theo (who needs a job because he isn't rich) may lose his job. She can't seem to understand that whilst she can get away with not being married, someone like Penelope can't. The Bridgerton's are super rich and that means Eloise could live an unmarried life if she wants to but for Kate or Penelope, financial security in London means marriage. She may think she is above all of the marriage market stuff but for many of the other women in it, it is their way of ensuring they (and their parents and future children) live a safe, comfortable life without the fear of being homeless or without money. I also have a very strong feeling that if these political rallies and events led to the financial and social downfall of her family, she would not be as "radical" as she is. Whilst (like I said), intersectional feminism can't be expected from the Regency period, I feel like these are privileges that can be acknowledged.

She also seems so stuck in her own worldview. I remember all the stuff she said to Daphne in season 1, acting as if Daphne shouldn't be wanting to get married, without understanding why Daphne would want or need to marry and marry well. When she is (rightfully) mad at Penelope for writing about her and Theo in LW, she also doesn't seem to realise that the scandal hadn't really affected her family much at all and also that it's not like someone else hadn't seen her see Theo. Even if Penelope never wrote about it in LW, it still would have gotten out, like the Queen knew for fucks sake. She always gives me the vibe of "if you don't understand or agree with my worldview, then you are what is wrong with society" without bothering to try and understand other people's views, just shoving them off as "wrong". She also doesn't seem to understand that Bridgerton's status is almost unbreakable, relatively little effort is needed for them to maintain their status in society and scandal doesn't affect them at all or if it does, it doesn't affect them for long. For others, especially the Featheringtons, don't have the same privilege. 1 wrong move and they lose everything, they are ridiculed and looked down upon by a lot of society.

LMK if I should do more Bridgerton posts (if I do, I won't do the books because icba with anything other then the show lol)

[sea-owl]

Spring's Rebirth Chapter 5

Penelope sat in the library as she watched King Colin and Lady Francesca gather scroll after scroll.

"What is all this for?" Penelope asked.

"If you are to be queen you must know the workings of your kingdom," King Colin said, half in jest. "Fran will help advise you until you get the hang of it."

Lady Francesca nodded. "After that we can start searching for your own right-hand advisor."

"I haven't agreed to be queen," Penelope reminded them.

"Yet," King Colin and Lady Francesca said together.

Penelope looked at the mountain of scrolls that was now taller than her. She has never honestly seen so many scrolls in one place, Lord Odysseus' archives being the exception. Well, it will give her something to do until she figures out how she's going to convince King Colin that he made a mistake.

Unrolling the first scroll Penelope began to read.

The job of the Underworld is to have a place for souls after their mortal bodies can no longer contain them. A system was set in place determining how a soul may spend the rest of their eternity based on how they lived their mortal life. 

If a soul is judged to be good or heroic they are sent to Elysium where they can rest in a blissful life. If the soul has committed crimes against man or gods, they are sent to the Fields of Punishment where justice may serve that was not given in their mortal life. If a soul is neither good or bad, if it was ordinary then to the Asphodel Meadows it went where it may rest until it is ready to reincarnate. 

Penelope blinked. "There's a meadow down here?"

-

Portia was exhausted. She has spent many nights looking for her third daughter. At first when Felicity told her that Penelope was not with Phillip Portia thought Penelope had just wandered too far. It was not the first time her curiosity had led to her sleeping overnight away from home. Portia could handle that. All she had to do was distract herself with her other daughters and hang a lamp outside the door incase Penelope wandered in at night. When Penelope did not come home after the second night is when Portia started her search.

She checked with Penelope's few friends. She rechecked with Phillip incase he saw her in the time passing. With Mary and Kate. With the wine god, Michael. With the demigods, Sophie and Gareth. Even Penelope's acquaintance, the recluse forge god, Simon. All of them had not seen her.

It was now the mandatory monthly meeting for the Court of Earth which Portia was taking to her full advantage of in her search for her daughter.

"Lord Odysseus," Portia said, approaching the god of history. "Have you seen my daughter? I know sometimes she likes to listen to the stories you pick up."

Lord Odysseus was a younger minor god. His physical appearance put him around King Benedict's age. Brown hair pulled back at the nape of his neck, and scruff on his face. He was a collector of past events and the stories they told.

"I'm sorry Lady Portia, but no I have not seen Lady Penelope since the Solstice Gathering," Lord Odysseus answered.

Portia sighed. It was the same answer she had gotten from all the others. She knows other immortals did not care to notice her daughter but do they truly think so little of her that no one would think it strange for her to be wandering around days away from home?

"Thank you Lord Odysseus," Portia bowed. "If you see her please let her know I am looking for her."

Lord Odysseus bowed back. "Of course Lady Portia."

Portia looked around, who else could she ask?

"Have you still heard nothing about Penelope?"

Portia turned to see Phillip. "Phillip, I'm surprised to see you here, usually they have drag you to these."

"I was hoping to hear something about Penelope as well," Phillip said. "Have you spoken to King Benedict or Lady Eloise yet?"

Portia snorted. "We both know the Bridgertons don't pay enough attention to know anything."

"It doesn't hurt to try," Phillip urged.

No it doesn't Portia agreed. She was running out of options either way. No one she's spoken to has seen Penelope and Portia can't leave until this forsaken meeting was over with. Might as well make sure she checks every box she can.

Portia bowed to King Benedict and Lady Eloise when she reached the throne. "My king, Lady Eloise."

"Lady Portia." King Benedict nodded. "Is there anything you need? Are the crops not doing well?"

"No my king," Portia said. "I actually wish to ask you if you have knowledge on the whereabouts of my daughter Lady Penelope. She has not been home in many nights."

At first King Benedict said nothing, as if he thinking over his answer. Portia finds herself leaning closer. Does he have some information? Is she close to finding her daughter?

Finally King Benedict shook his head. "I'm sorry Lady Portia but I have not seen Lady Penelope since the Solstice Gathering."

Portia wanted to scream. How has no one in this blasted court have any knowledge where her daughter could be? Is her search too narrow? Portia could find no reason why Penelope would travel to the Court of Heaven or the Court of the Underworld. Despite her curiosity, Penelope has always stayed within the Court of Earth.

"Th-thank you your highness," Portia, her voice cracking.

Court was officially called to order, and Portia took her seat next to Phillip. Taking deep breathes she missed the way Phillip's eyes narrowed on Lady Eloise.

Phillip watched Lady Eloise the whole time court was in session. The goddess of the hunt and knowledge was a known talker, but her lips had not once moved since Portia asked about Penelope. Add in when they were asked King Benedict's brown eyes remained calm while there was a flash of something in Lady Eloise's gray eyes.

She knows something, Phillip was sure of it. He was tempted to tell Lady Portia, but the poor mother was stressed enough without false hope. No best if Phillip figured out what she knew first.

-

With the death of King Edmund and his domains being split among his three older sons the Underworld could no longer support any form of mortal life . . .

Penelope rubbed her temples; her eyes had started to blur out the words between support and life. The potion, while very affective and long lasting, was wearing off. Her head pounded with her headache coming back with vengeance. She really needed to get a hold of some feverfew.

"Are you alright?" King Colin asked her.

"Lady Francesca's potion is wearing off," Penelope answered. She put her head down and covered her eyed with her arms to block the limited light. "I need to get a hold of some feverfew and ginger."

Lady Francesca tapped her chin. "We shall ask Lord Phillip to bring some next time he brings a new batch of souls. In the meantime, I believe Uncle Nicholas has said that salmon is good headaches. We could have some smoked for dinner. I can also work on making another batch of potions."

King Colin nodded. "Sounds perfect. I'll have Dunwoody tell Cook."

Penelope peaked up at them, her eyes narrowed and one eyebrow raised. She couldn't eat that. One should never eat food from another court unless they planned to stay there permanently.

King Colin noticed Penelope's glare. "Relax Pen. I meant what I said when I promised you that the crown would not be placed on your head until you asked. The salmon we have is imported, all our food and drink are."

Penelope placed her head back down. Imported salmon. Imported was good. Imported food went under many spells shipping out and in to be able to be eaten by other courts. Her mother blanketed those spells onto her fields dedicated to trade. She can work with imported salmon until Phillip came down with new souls and she could ask him for-

Wait a minute. . .

Penelope peaked her head back up. "Why is Phillip bringing souls down to the Underworld?"

[gleefullypolin]

I agree, I think people had 2 years of headcanons in their heads and a lot of people hung a lot of meaning on one sentence where Anthony calls him green and where he says he's sworn off women, the implication for a man of the time he's in is, of course, being that he's sworn off love. Not sex. We have no idea of knowing what he did or did not do on his first trip out of the country. There's nothing in the show that made me think he was saving himself. Tbh, the only time I ever heard of Colin being a virgin was in fandom, that was their idea, not the show's.

And to be frank, though I know I may not express it as delicately as I mean to, the way people want her to sleep with Debling is not the same as him sleeping with sex workers that he's paid to entertain him. The equal comparison would be Marina (in show canon) and yeah, give me a brothel scene over that any day of the week. We are not meant to take these 20 second scenes of the male leads being with other women seriously to their love story. I know it sounds terrible but if you take the time they're in and the women they're sleeping with, there are no feelings there. Anthony stops sleeping around when he starts courting Edwina seriously (or at least they don't show it). I think Simon almost goes to a woman but can't go through with it in his season (it's been a while since I've seen it) when he started to have feelings for Daphne.

Oh yes, book Colin is experienced and s bit cocky but that's part of what is so important to their spicier scenes in the book, he's like, overwhelmed at being with her? Like, he's had sex and been with women but he's barely hanging onto his senses with Penelope because he's so in love with her. Even before he realizes he's in love with her, he's damn near worshipping her. Which is fair because the man declares he worships the ground she walks on later, ha. I think him having experience is probably integral to their scenes somewhat because, well, there's no real way to have two virgins be anything less than awkward, it's not going to be sexy at all. That carriage scene doesn't work with a man who has never touched a woman sensually.

(Please direct all potential pitchforks you get for my opinion to me, I can handle it, haha. I'm turning into a Lord Kenebling hater at this point so I'm ready for it.😄)

Oh my god, Neal. My villain origin story. I have never actually detested a character quite like that. Even actual villains I'm like...I get it a little bit. Him dying off was truly the best thing, I was like wooooo! yeahhhhh!! The most annoying arc on that show was always his, ha. He was trash and I can never be convinced otherwise.

Man, if I never have to see her onscreen again that would be fine. She's truly just so unlikable. I didn't even know Phillip for more than 30 seconds in s2 and I was like I am so sorry my guy, go tend to your plants. I feel you.

They love to inflate everything a character does when it suits their narrative. The girl doesn't lie about what she's saying and they totally ignore that LW is only relevant to their society because society is buying her paper, they're the ones eating it up. Suddenly they can't see and can't hear when you mention that. If you give me a teenage/young woman with a complex character who acts like an actual human being I can give you never ending examples of people who suddenly think misogyny is cool actually.

(Double that if there's a ship war of some kind happening)

I agree with you. 2 years was a LOOONG time to build up a headcannon while waiting for this season to launch. And even longer considering people who were into the books and waiting for this to come. I stumbled into this not even knowing they ended up together, so I was just following along and went aww aren’t they cute, I want them to end up together. Lucky me it ended up being a canon ship. HAHA!

But honestly for a man traveling the world, gaining experience in Paris and Greece, I would expect he stumbled into a lady’s bed now and then, he’s quite handsome. ESPECIALLY because he’s trying to find something, he’s out looking for his purpose, running from whatever he left at home (don’t tell me he didn’t feel anything for Pen, I’ll never believe he felt nothing and that didn’t confuse him) and has no idea what that may his purpose is and you are right, he swore off women and after Marian that equaled love! Because that is what burned him. So, he was not looking for a woman to LOVE. That did not mean he was not looking for experience or otherwise. So, I never really thought he would come back “untarnished”.

I am with you on the Debling of it though. I have ZERO interest in Pen sleeping with him or otherwise. Zilch. I will not be delicate either and I think you may be the only person who reads my blog anyway so I doubt I see any hate for this, so I am of no concern, but that is of no interest to me for her. Because she is not out searching for that. Pen is looking for confidence, yes. She is looking for someone to see her for her, yes. But it was a different time back then. And I do not think she will be getting what she needs from Lord Obi Wan, it will be nice, it will be sufficient for what she thinks she can get, but it will be lacking and that is not what our Pen deserves.

I read a Shondaland piece today and boy did it hit me because it hit to what I really wanted to drive home about Pen’s coming of age story.

Then there was the video of LN and NC saying what they disliked about their characters, and she said it was that her character was a compulsive liar. And I was like GIRL YES! I know people don’t want to hear it but YES, that is the part of growing up I want to see. You can’t build love and an adult relationship on a lie, and this is why I need him to find out about LW BEFORE he proposes and they get together because adult Colin and Pen need to bare themselves to each other with no lies. All truth. Pen cannot be herself until she is both Pen and LW and then show him who she is and that she loves him before he can truly love her as who she is and she is Pen but she is also LW. I was like YAS QUEEN!

Sorry I ran off on a tangent. Where was I…After the lying is over EXPERIENCED Colin knowing who she is can then worship the damn ground that the queen walks on. Sorry that his Pen walks on. And I do think that he will worship the hell out of her because you don’t get a man yearning like we have seen on his face in like every damn scene we have gotten so far without him never wanting to touch another woman and constantly calling her “my wife” like we are getting.

I’m always so glad to meet a fellow Neal hater. The Captain Swan ladies always seemed to enjoy that every fic I wrote would never paint him in a positive light and would always end up killing him in some painful and ridiculous way. I appreciated him dying, good on you sir, but man their shippers were insufferable.

I don’t think they will bring her back…fingers crossed because its not necessary. And I think it just confuses the plot and makes it icky. I know when I figured out who he was I was like…oh eww. Plants…yes tend to the plants.

Right, no one mentions the fact that everyone buys the “trash” she writes and slurps it up like a dessert. I’m just so curious how he figures it out. I’ve actually been dreaming up so many different scenarios. Eloise lets it slip, Pen says something that he traces back to a phrase in an article, he follows her, a glance, she yells it at him in an argument, my goodness I’ve pretty much dreamed it all up. I’ve quite enjoyed trying to come up with new ways to make the time go by. I don’t get why people get so angry, make it a game and play on!

[dollypopup]

Marina, Polin, and the False Narrative of Good Intentions

or: Fanon has Failed You

we're taking a real deep dive, babes.

bring a snorkel

Episode 1:

We are introduced to Bridgerton, Lady Whistledown first. She has the very first lines, talking about the new debutantes coming before the queen. Penelope expresses immense nervousness about this, even after Prudence faints and she writes of the blunder in her sheet, likely grateful she doesn't have to spend too much time on herself when she can highlight Prudence's fainting. In the very first mention of Marina, it's a conversation between Portia and Lady Cowper, about how Portia is taking Marina, a 'distant cousin of my husband's' in as an act of 'charity'. LC replies that she has always been quite charitable, which Portia exclaims is what Lady Whistledown should have written about, instead of 'erroneously writing that she shall only have three ladies under her care.'

That's when Penelope comes to Portia with a plea, using Marina's upcoming arrival as an excuse for her to defer.

"Unless you should like to have only 3 young ladies under your care, I should gladly sit this season out." "Penelope is nervous" "I am not nervous, Mama-" "What she is is two stone heavier than she aught to be." Phillipa: "Mmm, those blemishes on her face are quite difficult to conceal. Perhaps some lead and arsenic would help" "Should you allow me to defer but a year, just as Lady Bridgerton has done for Eloise, I may remain dedicated to my studies"

she is denied. Portia dismisses Marina to Lady Cowper, talking about how she couldn't be competition with her daughters. Marina walks in and Penelope, as though in relief, says "Oh, she's beautiful."

Because Penelope, as of this moment, only sees Marina as a tool with which to get what she wants: invisibility. We know that's what she wants based on her and Eloise's conversation in the daffodils, in which she tells her

Penelope: "No one truly notices me. I suppose that is what I like. When you are invisible, you can have all the amusement you want without any of the expectations popularity brings. It. . .frees you.” Eloise: “Do you think that is why Whistledown remains anonymous?” Penelope: “Perhaps.”

Lady Whistledown and Marina, in this moment in time, have the exact same purpose: they serve as shields. Shields that keep Penelope from being seen, from being noticed, and hopefully to give her more time. Penelope is grateful for this, LW starts taking shots at the Queen by taking shots at Daphne, saying she was falling from the grace of being named the diamond. Instead, she thrusts Marina to the forefront of the ton, declares her the true diamond, and sits relatively gratefully through Marina's flurry of attention.

Until it comes to Colin. The scene in the Featherington drawing room in which Colin comes to Penelope after calling on Marina and says it's a 'most dreadful sonnet indeed', to which she quips her famous 'Lord Byron he is not', thus making Colin laugh before he bids her good day, and she looks at him on his way out. This has often been discussed as a scene in which Penelope is starstruck that she made him laugh, but I propose something else.

This?

This is a look of concern and sadness.

What Lady Cowper had said had been foreshadowing, now Marina is literal competition for the center of Penelope's affections.

Which, let's give him some POV here

Let's talk Colin

Even in episode one, Penelope at the ball was watching Colin, a look which is mirrored later on by how Colin looks at Marina for the first time, asking who she is. He quickly joins the dance floor right next to her, clearly curious. Curiosity is a huge part of Colin's character that often gets overlooked, in fact. His wanting to travel is rooted in it. His room is FULL of Greek mythology, the first place he visits is Greece. Colin is drawn to Marina's newness, and also how pretty she is. He likes her pretty naturally. And she also clearly likes him. Even after the other suitors slough off, Colin stays.

Marina isn't pretending, here. Look at her. She finds him funny, he's turned toward her. We find out later that she's been there for about a month, at this point. As far as Marina knows, she was sent there against her will, because she doesn't WANT to be with Portia and her snooty high society attitude. Even still, Colin acts as reprieve. He comes to visit her and cheers her, she likes a lot about him, in fact, as we learn later, but let's go back to episode 1, the now.

And then we see Marina accept (and mourn) the fact that she's pregnant.

This is why she didn't come to the Vauxhall Ball, claiming illness, and Varley brings Portia the clean sheets. Portia goes to confront Marina, she'd been there for over a month and hadn't bled, accuses her of 'revolting recklessness', says she'll keep it under wraps only so her own daughters won't suffer, and when Marina informs that she doesn't want any of this, in particular her hoity superiority, Portia slaps her.

Slaps her.

As horrible as Portia and the Featheringtons are to Penelope, they have never once laid a hand on her.

Marina is made Other from the first moment she walks on screen. She is unwelcome in the Featherinton house. Even Penelope really only cares about her insofaras she's useful. In fact, episode 1 is Penelope's first taste of what her debut would be like without Marina, and in it, Colin comes to her rescue when Cressida is being mean. Penelope didn't dance at the first ball Marina was at, but she *does* when Marina's gone.

For Marina, this is a horrible night. For Penelope, it's fantastic. Simon and Daphne even became a thing, and Penelope is seen observing them. Not only did she get to dance with Colin, but she also got her gossip. This proves she doesn't necessarily need or can utilize Marina as a shield.

From Episode 1, we see the start of the divide, even before anything else, the show pits them against one another.

Which takes us to Episode 2

We open with Penelope remarking that it is 'disturbing' and Phillipa and Prudence telling on her to Portia by informing that she has questions about Marina's condition. And then

"How did it happen, Mama? Is there to be a baby?"

"Why is Miss Thompson to be kept away?" "Because her condition is catching!" [to which Penelope responds with silent astonishment]

We then have her with Eloise, walking arm in arm as Eloise complains about Daphne and Simon, talking about how being pretty and having nice hair isn't an accomplishment, and that going to university is, essentially: a lament of societal misogyny. Penelope is not only clearly disengaged with her, but even exasperated. Eloise remarks that Penelope did not listen to a word she says, which is true, and Penelope ignores that, too, except to grab her by the elbow, and tell her that she knows someone with child, and that they're not married.

This conversation is comedic, yes, but it's also interesting considering we know Colin and Marina are involved, and that Penelope's curiosity for how Marina came to be with child (outside of the obvious practical reasons for wanting to know for her own sake) doesn't stem from friendship with Marina, but rather desire and curiosity for how it affects Colin.

"She is not married" "How did she become with child if she's not married?" "I do not know. But I will find out." "You must! Otherwise, how can we make sure it never happens to us? We have accomplishments to acquire."

Penelope, even here, knows that they don't want the same accomplishments. There's a rift forming here, too. Penelope is a year ahead of Eloise, already out in society, and she's writing Lady Whistledown. As far as she's concerned, her accomplishments are to get married. Her opinion of being out in society has changed: she still wants to be invisible, but not to stay with Eloise, but instead to continue Lady Whistledown, and perhaps get married. She says so later in the series, in which she tells Eloise that people have mature problems, problems more important than some silly writer, problems like getting married.

But to who?

Three guesses.

Colin's next scene is when Eloise asks how babies are made, to which he gives his classic 'Have you ever visited a farm?' response, and cheekily teases that he and Benedict are off to take their sticks out, 'for a round of fencing!' and once again, though comedic, it's also meant to serve a second function: he becomes a suspect. That's a very dramatic way to put it, I know, but as of now, it's not revealed who the other half of Marina's bun in the oven is, and it very well *could* be Colin.

A fact Penelope likely suspects. So, she MUST know how babies are made, because she agrees with Eloise on this: she does have accomplishments to acquire. I propose to us that instead of the 'Penelope was so selfless! She would have let Colin marry Marina so long as Marina wasn't lying to him and trying to trap him' narrative, something a bit more complicated is afoot

Penelope wants Colin. She knows she can't get involved in his current romance with Marina, but she wants him all the same. The dance they shared solidifies that for her. They're friends, she's been in love with him since she met him, and now she's *able* to get married. And she wants it to be to him.

And all her actions from there are stained with that information, including the final reveal.

It's in the middle of Episode 2, well over a month that Marina's been in Mayfair, that we have our first scene of Penelope and Marina together. We open with Marina reading letters, tearstained in her hands.

She hides them immediately under the blankets and Penelope comes in saying she found some sweets and that Marina might be able to eat them when everyone else was off at the Ball. Marina, gratefully, invites her into the room so that they may share, to which Penelope is clearly pleased.

"I hear they have decided not to send you home to your papa." "I dare say he is relieved. I can only imagine how he will react to- "Your condition? Marina, may I ask- how did it happen?"

Penelope didn't come to Marina out of the goodness of her heart at all. She came to get information. Because curiosity is also an inherit part of Penelope's character, just as it is for Colin. Penelope's reasons for wanting to know are three fold: for the sake of knowing (it's good information to have, knowing how babies are made), for Whistledown if it's a good story, and for Colin.

Marina goes on a beautiful story about George, and we, at the same time as Penelope, realize Marina is still in love with her soldier boy, who she believes is in Spain, and in a moment of immense trust, passes the letters to Penelope for her to read.

But Penelope is only relieved. It settles two of the three, clears Colin from being the father and provides her good information for Whistledown, which she doesn't get publish, likely realizing that all the secrecy means it's a big deal, but she still doesn't know how one comes to be with child.

She laments this with Eloise immediately after. Snarks that Marina said it was 'Love' and Elosie informing that made no sense, to which Penelope agrees, saying her mama had 3 children and love had nothing to do with it. Eloise then asks, in a moment of empathy no one else has granted Marina,

"Well, what else did she say? Was she not frightened?" "More. . .sad, than frightened. But there may be a chance for her to have a happy ending yet, I suppose. She wants to escape to the country where she and her love may marry."

At this, Penelope is happy. She's glad that Marina will be out of the way and also that Marina will get to be with someone else. She isn't cruel, she wishes Marina well.

She just doesn't wish Marina well with Colin.

Episode 3 has Penelope running mail errands for Marina since Marina's in confinement. With no letter in hand, she delivers her the bad news, to which Marina clearly is despondent, wondering when a letter from Spain would arrive. Penelope soothes her by informing that he's on the front lines and it's difficult for letters. "If your love is as great as your previous letters state, surely he will write back to you soon. Or perhaps even better, he is already on his way back to you here, to come and take you home."

Penelope takes on her mother after she's caught with Marina and scolded, saying that Marina's been there for ages, and it isn't fair. She leaves, and Portia insists that Marina find a husband. There is no choice for denial, here, Portia makes that clear, and Penelope takes the news unhappily from the door.

Looks like she isn't out of the woods, yet.

Because even underlying Penelope's compassion, there's a second motive. Penelope is just like Portia: she wants Marina gone, too. She just has a different, very contrasting way of accomplishing that goal, but she's making strides toward it.

She writes of Marina rejoining society, that she will be at the new exhibit. When Portia tries introducing Marina to an older man, she silently pleads for Penelope to help her and she tries to come to her rescue. In the end, Marina tells him off herself, and Penelope and Marina are united against Portia. As of now, there is nothing that really contests them. Even still, Marina acts as something of a shield for Penelope, something she is sure to notice. With Marina in the house, Penelope receives less of Portia's cruelty, and even when she's scolded, Marina gets worse of it.

As of now, Marina and Colin were a brief flirtation that took place at the beginning of her coming to Mayfair. She enjoyed his company, but she's also not suffering without it, clearly uninterested in rejoining society or getting a husband who isn't George. Being pregnant has given Marina a new dream: one in which a man she loves will return from war to help her raise their family. Even if she was open to a new love at the start of the season, she clearly doesn't care or wants to find a husband who isn't George. She tells Portia as much, that she will not bow down to Portia's schemes. She has a man who loves her, and she intends to marry him.

Portia is the instigator here, even though fandom has made Marina the villain. PORTIA insists Marina go out in society. PORTIA writes the fake letter. PORTIA is who twists Marina's arm, verbally and physically abuses her, and locks her up until she can foist her onto some decrepit man and be done with her. PORTIA is who speaks aloud Marina's doubts of George not loving her back because he hasn't sent a letter to her.

Even though Penelope and Portia's goals are the same, their methods are MILES apart. Penelope *does* have compassion for Marina, wants her to have her love story with George, and she tries to help her because she recognizes it as the path of least resistance. Portia meddles far too much, which is her downfall every time.

When a 'letter from Spain' arrives, Penelope brings it to Marina and nervously asks what it says. She's excited for the confirmation that George loves Marina back and that he'll come to take her away or marry her. When Marina falls heavily to the bed, crying, Penelope asks if he'd been wounded. Marina tells her that he pretends there was nothing between them, that he desires nothing to do with "our- my situation."

Look at the expression on Penelope's face, here.

As Marina sobs, wails, Penelope picks up the letters to read them for herself and Portia congratulates her and Varley for their efforts, justifying that Marina had to learn the truth of men, eventually.

And then we're halfway through the season

Marina starts this halfway point as a new woman. When she mourned the idea of George, she mourned a failed love story, and she also mourned herself. When she said 'My situation' she accepted that the only person who would truly help her out of this is herself. She's inspected by Lord Rutledge terribly, he asks to see her teeth as Portia gives an elevator pitch, essentially making it seem that Marina was defective but, look, she has some good parts, too! Marina informs that she's had suitors calling all week (so we return to the romance situation at the beginning with a wide net) and Portia informs they'll take too long, considering so much time has passed. That she needs someone who won't ask questions when a baby comes out 3 months early, even if they married her the next day.

Obviously, Marina's in a horrible situation. This is nightmare levels of awful. She's been abused in so many ways, treated terribly. I don't think anyone could blame her for being upset. Penelope asks her if she'd like her to stay in, but Marina refuses, and Penelope doesn't push it. [Sidenote, this is also when Albion Finch comes to call on Phillipa, and we see Portia 'rewarded' (in her mind) for her efforts in keeping Marina out. She tells Mr. Finch that Marina isn't taking visitors, but he informs he's here to see Phillipa, to which Portia expresses wonder. To her, where her entire motivation is getting her daughters married, having seen Marina as an obstacle in such, she is vindicated through this]

Penelope and Eloise have another conversation, in which Penelope listens to Eloise talking about the house being abuzz w/ Daphne's prospects, to which Penelope says 'well, she *has* to marry eventually' after Eloise says she wishes Daphne would stay on the shelf forever so that Eloise doesn't have to be next in line [Eloise seeing Daphne very similarly to how Penelope saw Marina, in that way]. Eloise laments that she wants to fly, then praises Lady Whistledown as a brilliant woman of business, praise Penelope soaks up.

Penelope guides Eloise away from her attempts to rope her into schemes unmasking LW (who we now know is Penelope herself) and Eloise says she can tell her Mama she's sick and that she's caught what Marina has. Penelope informs that Marina is recovering, and that "It would be cruel of me not to be by her side when she comes back out. I shall cheer you on your endeavors, however."

The question is: has Penelope truly formed a friendship with Marina, or does she have a second reason, once again, for being beside Marina and keeping an eye on her when she re-enters once more?

Well, it surely means nothing that the next scene is Penelope and Colin having yet another moment. Surely.

Marina, being dangled about and clearly unhappy on the floor. Penelope, looking out to the ballroom. Colin comes behind her, to her delight, and talks about the host being fussy. "Do you think if he goes to bed, we all have to leave?" he asks, making Penelope laugh and clearly glad that he did so. To Colin, he likely imagines this to be the end of the correspondence, but Penelope surprises him. Like the first time, she opens up to him, shows him her wit, and they have a moment of snark, looking at each other for a beat too long after he compliments her with 'What a barb!'

Who breaks the moment? Penelope does. She doesn't continue. She doesn't take the compliment and run with it, she doesn't prolong the conversation. She looks down, and Colin changes the subject, sensing she's perhaps uncomfortable, or at least done with the moment, and says he's been trying to get in front of Marina all night, and Penelope says all Marina's interested in is a swift rescue, which inspires Colin to go after her.

This is their first moment together since her confinement, we know since he asks how she is, and from jump he gives her an out from a man who treats her like a piece of meat, and he makes a joke right away to ease her. Colin here is exactly to Marina as Colin was to Penelope when Cressida threw her drink on her: he's the knight in shining armor, and he likes it that way. Charm dialed up to ten, he and Marina re-hit it off immediately, and she's grateful to him. Tells him to spin her off and maybe she'll recover.

And Colin does. He spins her over and over again, in circles around the entire dancefloor, and Marina smiles, and Marina grins, and Marina laughs, something we haven't seen her do since she's thrown in confinement.

Can we blame her for wanting Colin? For falling for him? Very often we talk about how he was her only option, but the truth is that Marina liked Colin from the start, and she likes him here, too. She just found out that a man she'd been in love with is forsaking her, wants nothing to do with her. She's been inspected and slapped and degraded. And Colin is kind. Colin is genuine and earnest and fun. Colin brings her to life, again. She gushes about him to Penelope as soon as they're home.

And Penelope hates it.

Her problems are not that Marina is trapping Colin. She doesn't care about the logistics of the ruse. She tells Marina anyone but Colin. It isn't that Marina's pregnant, and it isn't that Marina lies.

It's that it's Colin. Penelope wants Colin and Marina wants him, too.

And that brings them back to where they started. It didn't matter what empathy and compassion they'd cultivated: Penelope is not Marina's friend. Penelope had *never* been Marina's friend. She was her ally insofar as Marina was going to live a story that left Penelope free for her own happily ever after with Colin, and as cruel as it is, it gives Penelope DEPTH. She is not just an altruistic darling willing to watch a man she loves marry her cousin. She does literally EVERYTHING she can to keep it from happening. That's her motive. He's her motive. It's Penelope's love for Colin and her hopes that they can be together that leads her to expose Marina.

In this conversation, she tries anew. Her hopes on George now dashed, and the confinement period over, Penelope tries to sway Marina by making Colin seem like a bad match. She can't think of negative qualities to counter Marina's compliment-fest (kind, funny, excellent with children), but informs that Colin is too young to marry. That she needs someone to propose soon. And Marina says he's not like other young men, that he's eager, that he saved her, that she thinks he will propose soon.

What Penelope never says is that everything Marina thinks of Colin, Penelope already knows. She knows Colin is funny, and kind, and an accomplished dancer, and excellent with children, and that he saved her, too, at Vauxhall, and that Marina opened up to her so she'll open up the same but she doesn't: she never once tells Marina that she loves him.

Because Penelope is not Marina's friend. But Marina *is* Penelope's. She says she'll be able to stay in town, gleeful that since Penelope is close to Eloise, so they will remain friends, as sisters. Marina doesn't see the secondary motives in Penelope's actions, trying to steer her away from Colin, nor does she assume anything of Penelope. How could she? Penelope has been nothing but nice to her in a house of cruelty. Penelope doesn't deride her, Penelope doesn't hit her, and Penelope helped her with George.

But Penelope doesn't want her there, same as everyone else in Featherington House. And she doesn't necessarily want Marina to be happy. She wants Marina to be out of the picture. She'd prefer if that was with her happy, but she doesn't need Marina's wellbeing. Just her absence. Or, at the very least, she's going move bitch, get out the way.

She begins thinking of how that will happen immediately after Marina leaves. She paces her room until Eloise throws rocks at her window, and this is when we get their fight.

Eloise comes with a theory about Lady Whistledown , going on and on about what she believes, and Pen cuts her off.

"Eloise I do not care! People have real problems, mature problems, problems that have nothing to do with the secret identity of some silly writer." "And you are so mature now?" "Well I am of age, I am out in society, therefore I have more important, mature things to worry about." "Like what?" "Like marriage," "You should not care about marriage.: "What if I do? I cannot expect you to understand, not everyone can be a pretty Bridgerton!"

Eloise runs off and Penelope immediately regrets it, because her fury isn't at Eloise, but rather projecting her frustrations at Marina and Colin's blossoming relationship at Eloise. When Penelope says she cares about marriage, that is only a half truth. She cares about marriage to Colin. Very specifically to Colin.

Episode 5 sees more of the same. When Colin comes to visit Marina, Penelope is displeased. She looks on as Colin brings Marina flowers, and Marina finds them beautiful. This is not a woman who would humbly have allowed Colin to marry whoever would make him happy, a selfless woman who had nothing but the best intentions toward Colin and Marina's love story.

She doesn't care if Colin would be happy with Marina. She wants him to be happy with her.

And listen to me very clearly: I like her more for it. Yeah, I said it. Oh, it would be easy if Penelope was a sweet darling, an innocent doll who tragically falls on the sword, wanting nothing more than for her dear friend to live a beautiful love story with someone who would appreciate him. No. She believes, knows Colin would be happier with her (and, ultimately, she ends up being right in that regard) and she wants him to be with her, not with Marina. This is not an excuse for Penelope. She doesn't do good things. Her intentions are not noble. What she wants is self-serving and how she goes about it is underhanded and secretive and manipulative. And I. Like. Her. For. It. Enough of the narrative that Marina was a villain, an antagonist in Penelope's love story.

Penelope was the antagonist in Marina's.

But she is also the hero in her own. From the very beginning, the narrative made it a one or the other situation. Even when they were friends, they weren't really friends. But through it all, Marina had no idea.

Because Penelope never told her.

She spoke in circles, said Colin loved to travel, encouraged him to do so in front of Marina, said Marina didn't like tomatoes when Colin joked that he'd bring her some as a surprise to break up the monotony of bouquets. Both Colin and Marina are surprised that she's saying anything in this scene, Marina moreso than him, because she thinks Penelope is her friend and would encourage this. Penelope knows how much Marina likes Colin, and how important time is with her situation. Marina gives her the 'girl, what are you doing????' face when Penelope clearly encourages Colin to travel. Colin informs that some things in London he'd want to see more than the world, and looks at Marina. They share a moment and Penelope rushes off after her mother for Plan. . .is it D, at this point? Plan D.

Penelope recognizes Marina and Colin like each other, so she goes to her mum. asks if it's a smart decision. She feigns caring for Marina. That she is ONLY worried because Colin is young and he's years off from marriage (which she doesn't really believe, or she wouldn't be saying anything) and that Marina simply doesn't have that kind of time.

It does what she wants. Portia comes to Marina, doubling down on Lord Rutledge, saying she has until Saturday to accept his proposal. Marina refuses, clearly disliking him, and Portia admonishes her.

"Is this about Mr. Bridgerton?" "He likes me! He will propose to me, I'm sure of it." "That boy is barely out of leading strings, he has two older brothers and they're still running from the yoke. You are to cut Colin Bridgerton immediately, or I will lock you in this very room until Lord Rutledge makes you his wife."

Marina's smart, she makes a deal. She recognizes how a marriage to Colin could do a world of good for Portia's daughters, and she pleads for just a few days. Before Saturday. That he would propose. And it's only now, in this moment, that Marina makes a plan that has anything to do with Colin. Only after already liking him and envisioning a second chance romance with him, and having a good life with him.

It isn't that Colin's her only other choice. Marina had several unhappy choices. But Colin is the choice she *wants* to make. She has a time limit now, hence the deception, but it's rooted in her attraction to him. "You will seduce him." is what Portia says, but for Marina, it's not as dramatic as all that. She already likes Colin. and Colin already likes her. So maybe they speed it all along, but it's not made through falsification.

But for Penelope, who listens at the door, this is now the proof that it's becoming serious, and that this plan, too, won't work.

Plan E, it is. Chuck her off to anyone new. See what sticks. She points out multiple men at the next ball they're at as prospects. This is Marina's face when Penelope described him as pleasant.

and then that another has kind eyes. To which Marina replies, honestly, rather relatably. That she doesn't know them or care about any of them, and that she's looking for Colin.

Only now. In the middle of Episode 6, just about at the 11th hour, does Penelope ask Marina not to pick him. This is the first time. That she can do this to anyone else. She attempts Plan H: a plea for morality. That she doesn't want him to be tricked and deceived. That she's known him forever. That Marina shouldn't do this to a good man, but Marina asks if Penelope would rather she marry a bad man, then.

And the truth is, Penelope would. Penelope would rather that Marina marry a bad man than marry Colin, Penelope would rather Marina do anything rather than marry Colin. Because this entire situation is all born because Penelope loves him.

This is her way of fighting for him. It's not her way of being altruistic, it's not her way of wanting to help him, it's her way of ensuring her own happily ever after. And no, that's not a 'Penelope is such a darling angel baby' take, but it IS a human one.

And the worst of it is that Marina would have backed off of Colin if Penelope just said something earlier. Think about how their friendship was. Penelope could have informed Marina that she liked Colin when Marina was gushing about George. She could have opened up. Or when Marina was getting suitors again after her re-debut in society. Marina was rife with suitors. She liked Penelope. But Penelope never spoke up. There was an entire month and a half Penelope could have talked to Marina, and then another in her confinement.

But Marina only realizes Penelope doesn't actually support her after Penelope says not to do this to a good man. That Penelope isn't happy for her in the least. She assures Penelope that she'll be a good wife to him, that he'll be good to her in return, and that, really, it isn't Penelope's business. Which it isn't except for the fact that she makes it her business. Lord Rutledge gets engaged, and Colin becomes Marina's last way out. But, let's be real: he was was also the only one she wanted to entertain.

Oh, my sweet, darling baby boy. Earnest describes him to a T. He doesn't know he's the rope in Marina and Penelope's tug of war (hell, Marina doesn't even know someone else is pulling for him), and he gets denied a narrative in so much of this. When Marina says she's feeling faint and to find someplace more private, Colin doesn't even THINK she has alternative motives. He's concerned, takes her to a different room.

Watching this scene, you see how utterly endearing he is. He leaves the door open until she encourages him to close it, which he does post haste. He smiles at her and keeps a respectable distance. He's truly been raised to be a gentleman, and he clearly respects her. When she says they shouldn't be alone together, he finally realizes what she wants from him. When she takes a step toward him, it's subtle, but he leans back. Gets nervous. Steels his face, drops his expression. When she goes in for the kiss, he makes a few minute jerks forward, for a grand total of 2 and a half seconds, and then cuts it all off.

"You are a Lady. I must maintain your honor. And mine. No matter how. . .tempting, otherwise."

Marina, after hearing this, is stupefied. Tells him he's right. That she's a lady. She's unmarried. And he is. . .a gentleman.

And she knows Penelope is right. That he's good. She just didn't know how good Colin actually is. And in this moment, she accepts her lot. She walks away. Her last chance, her last option, and upon realizing that Colin is kind and earnest and a good, honorable person, she agrees with Penelope. She doesn't want to lie to him, to trick him, she's about to let him go. But Colin offers her to marry him, and she accepts.

Because wouldn't you? Wouldn't anybody?

Hell, her exact words are "I would be delighted to marry you." and she means it. Not as a last resort, but genuinely. We don't do Colin enough justice in this romance.

He goes on about how their long engagement is romantic, that she deserves a grand celebration, and you can tell she enjoys that, but also that she knows she'll never have it. This is where she realizes how different they are, that he's a dreamer and she's a pragmatist. And that she'll have to change his mind but can't ask for it outright.

Marina has affection for Colin. Even in season 2 we can see that, when she rightfully tells him they're in the past and that he should focus on those in his life who already make him happy. How could she not have affection for him when he's genuinely so fucking good?

And speaking of, the way he defends her to Anthony still remains one of the hottest scenes Colin takes part in. When he says he's marrying Marina for love, and not because he compromised her, he means that. When he calls Anthony an ass for insisting he go to brothels and that his interest in Marina is just lust, he's genuinely offended. Anthony says that Violet is distraught and that he won't give Colin his blessing,

"Sorry to disappoint you." "You have. In so many ways."

Colin goes to see his mum immediately after. He takes her hand and, without saying it, he all but screams 'why don't you see me?' Reminds he was courting Marina all season after Violet says she was glad she knew before Whistledown. That she was too wrapped up in Daphne to notice.

Colin wants to be seen, to be taken seriously, and it really is, as of that moment, that the only people who do so outwardly are Marina and Pen. The difference between them isn't down to looks or attitude or anything like that at all: Marina pursues Colin, she makes it clear she's interested, and Penelope doesn't. It's her greatest character flaw and the crux of her story, that she never says what she wants, that she doesn't speak up for herself. Eloise even points it out about her (and you know in friend fights they cut deep). only when she learns to speak aloud what she wants does she get her love story and happiness in society.

Penelope is near in tears when Colin announces his engagement to Marina. But the thing about Penelope is that she's persistent.

As she walks in to Marina, Prudence, and Phillipa talking about how all their fortunes are about to change with the new engagement, Penelope snarks 'Especially Colin's' to which Marina replies by complimenting her, saying she looks lovely. Penelope replies not to mock her, and Marina says

"Do not mock me." "It pains me you should think every compliment a mockery." "Do not pity me either." "I do not pity you, Penelope. I respect you. You have been a true friend since I arrived here, and I rely on your continued friendship and sympathy." "My continued silence, you mean? You think so little of me I cannot bear it. I never would have made my way through this awful tangle without your kindness. Please, do not tell me you regret it." "I would never bring scandal to you or our family if that is what you ask. But I cannot condone your actions." "I want you as my friend, Pen. Can you not try to understand and be a little pleased for me?"

Marina leaves for her modiste appointment and Phillipa talks about how they'd make beautiful babies together, to which Prudence laughs and reminds that he's not the father. Penelope snaps at them, saying Marina makes a fool of Colin already, but

but

does she not do the same to him when she outs the information later on? I like Penelope, and I ship Polin. In fact, I ship Polin exclusively, in the sense that I don't actually ship Colin or Penelope with anyone else, but this entire season is proof of Penelope's fuck ups with Marina and with Colin, both, and her justification for her actions, a thing Portia also does. She goes deeper and deeper into her disregard for Marina. Marina wants Penelope as a friend but Penelope doesn't care about Marina to that extent, even from the beginning. As Portia and Marina become more entwined in their joined ruse, Penelope sets her hopes on Violet noticing that Marina is pregnant, but Violet does her best to welcome Marina to the family, wanting to do right by Colin.

So, there goes plan G. Dire straits, then. Penelope finally has a moment alone with Colin. I've talked about the scene in which she tries to 'tell him' in a different meta, and this is already so impossibly long, but long story is that Penelope still doesn't say what she really means here. There's a narrative that Colin doesn't listen to her, but all season he listens to her. And all season, she never says what she actually wants to. When she tells him that Marina loves someone else, Colin assures he would be a hypocrite if it mattered to him that she had a romance before him. (good for you, bb boi) She doesn't tell him Marina's pregnant, which she writes in LW later on, but skirts around the subject until those precious few moments are gone.

And she lies. She says Marina loves George, still, but Marina has accepted that George wants nothing to do with her. Whether she loves him or not is outside of Penelope's knowledge. She just wants to throw whatever she can at the wall and see if it sticks, see if it breaks the engagement, and still have Colin look at her with fond eyes after the fact.

When Marina discovers them in the hallway, it's hard not to sympathize with her. She's soft when she tells Penelope Portia is looking for her, and she looks so tired. Colin apologizes for Anthony being so rude at dinner, and Marina confides in him. That her own father doesn't want her. That the Featheringtons cannot wait to be rid of her. That she thought she'd find acceptance with his family, but that was a foolish thought.

And she's right. Marina is, for all intents and purposes, fully alone. She has no one in her corner save herself. And save for Colin.

"Even your mother is just being polite." "I shall be your family, now. We shall make our own family, you and me."

And Marina wants that. So deeply, she wants that. With Colin, there's acceptance. She isn't trying to manipulate him, here, she's just hurt. Penelope has her own reasons, she loves Colin, he's a dear friend, and she doesn't want to see him hurt, and she wants him to be with her, but Marina's reasons are also poignant. Colin is the only person who made her welcome in the ton and continues to do so. Once Penelope turns her back on Marina, she just has him. And in his desire to do right by her, offers to elope.

When she says "I love you" to Colin, she's not lying. She's not trying to trick him, as is so often discussed. Is it an everlasting love? No. Is it a nonproblematic love? No. But she certainly loves what he's done for her, how he makes her feel, and she has admiration for who he is as a person. That's love, too.

This is the face of a relieved woman. Not a woman who just lied and schemed reveling in her success. This is a woman looking up to heaven, thanking God for this second chance. Just LOOK at her

We come back to Penelope, then, the day after, who feigns being sick and then runs to ransack Marina's room, looking for George's letters. (so to all the people mad at Eloise for rummaging through Penelope's room, well. . .I hope that same 'it's an invasion of privacy!' applies here, as well) Instead, she finds her duffel packed and knows they're going to elope. She searches more for George's letters and finds them, realizing one is forged.

So, Penelope waits for Marina, in her room, with the falsified letters (Plan I?), to inform her that the letter that broke Marina's heart was a forgery. She has proof that her mama faked the signature. Marina informs that it doesn't matter. George never replied to her letters.

"He has abandoned me. While Colin has embraced me." "I thought you loved him. George." "I was a fool. This changes nothing."

To which Penelope is aghast, watching Marina burn the letters, and when she asks what she'll do when Colin discovers, Marina is truthful. That she will live safe in the knowledge that Colin is a good and kind man, as he has proven to be, and that he'll take care of her and her baby. Which brings us to:

"What of him? What of Colin?"

And do I think some part of this truly is Penelope caring about Colin and his ultimate happiness? Yes. She does want what's best for him, and she does care deeply for him, but the truth of the matter is that in this, she's not doing it for him. Penelope is doing it for her. And that makes it more interesting. At every turn, every single one, Colin shows that he's infatuated w/ Marina. That he loves her, even. Nothing about his actions signify any different. And maybe it's not true love, and maybe it's a bid for him to feel useful, to feel listened to, to be taken seriously, but it's still how he feels.

The only person suffering, here, is Penelope. And Marina recognizes it for what it is. When she tells Penelope that her love is an unrequited fantasy, she has no reason to think otherwise. Penelope never opened up to her, all her criticisms are now revealed as her wanting Colin from jump, and Penelope all but said aloud she and Marina aren't friends. Marina told her to get out of her relationship, and none of us can pretend that we wouldn't do the same. Penelope is acting as though Marina is a scourge on Colin, but all Colin has done is make Marina feel cared for and wanted. We don't give him enough credit, I swear, because the reality is that how Colin is with Marina is a glimpse into how he loves. If he can forgive Marina lying to him for a good reason, he can forgive Penelope lying to him for a good reason. Marina was never Colin's endgame. Not once. It was always going to be Penelope.

And it's to show that Colin is a good man who fights for his partner, who listens, who has empathy, who wants to bring cheer, who jokes, who is wide-hearted and romantic, who puts his feelings in his hands and reaches out palms first. Give him his flowers. He was a real one with Marina. Through and through and he's gonna be a real one with Penelope. A real one to the max. This is Colin's baseline and it'll only dial up with Pen when we reunite in Season 3 but for now-

Marina says she'll be the executioner of Penelope's childish fantasy of loving Colin, but it's Penelope who's the executioner. Because even though she comes running to Eloise, even though she sobs and cries and did so much to ensure what she didn't want to happen wouldn't happen, in the end, ultimately, Penelope chooses herself. She doesn't choose Colin, she doesn't choose Marina.

Penelope chooses Penelope.

And she exposes Marina's secret. And she breaks up the engagement. By force. "Perhaps she thought she had no other option. Or perhaps she knows no shame." which is what Penelope wrote of Marina, also applies to herself in this case. When she sobs with Eloise, she's hurt by what Marina says to her, yes, but she's not weeping to mourn Colin and her one day maybe love story with him. Because she doesn't believe Marina, she doesn't think it's an unrequited fantasy. Why else expose Marina?

No, she's mourning herself. Mourning the person she one thought herself to be, and how that isn't the person that she is, that she would and can use Whistledown to get what she wants, that she has power, and how she would throw her own family and even herself under the bus for just the HOPE of her love story, and that all her intentions of fairness fly out the window because Penelope is human, and she was jealous, and she was mad.

And she continues to be. Further salt in the wound in Episode 7

"Miss Marina Thompson's recent fall from grace continues to echo through every drawing room in town days after it was revealed her engagement to Colin Bridgerton was nothing more than a sham. Of course, a Lady's disgrace does not merely tarnish her own name, like the tars on the Thames, it also leaves a smear on everyone nearby. While there is no parasol in the world strong enough to shelter a ruined woman, the fallen Miss Thompson can only hope she shall find a refuge somewhere."

Y'all

This is mean. This is twisting the knife. Portia knows it's game over. Marina is even refused from a charity room without a considerable donation. She's out of options. And it narrows and narrows around her.

And for Colin, denial isn't just a river in Egypt. He claims Lady Whistledown to publish lies and says Marina must be in agony, that he doesn't understand why he can't just visit her. Anthony informs that BECAUSE of Lady Whistledown, Colin is absolved from being the father, but if he comes near her, they will presume and he'll ruin the rest of the family for it. Even still, Colin goes to refuse, but Daphne interrupts. No one listens to him in this scene, and he's left to listen to how his family will fix what they perceive as his fuck up. He says he's sooo happy it's been settled, and storms off.

Once again, no one takes Colin seriously. He's right to point it out. Not even Penelope, as she took his decision from him just as everyone else did. In a way, Colin is also alone. I think that's what really tugged his heartstrings when Marina lamented no one wanting her around.

Colin's a hopeless romantic. In a way, he fabricated his own love story around what he wanted to hear and know. He says Leander swam each night in total darkness to see his love, and Daphne, now jaded, tells him Leander also drowned. She'll arrange a rendezvous, but she doesn't believe it'll be a love story, not really, not anymore. And Colin even though Colin seemed to be hopeful that it was a lie, when Daphne says that Marina's a stranger and that Whistledown knew Marina better than Colin did, Colin clarifies that Whistledown knew Marina's secrets.

Maybe he already knows it's true, believes it to be, but he doesn't want to see it.

"You must tell me that this Whistledown woman is mistaken, what she wrote, it cannot be true." "But it is." "You are. . .with child? I do not understand. We were to be wed. You- you said you loved me." "Colin, I hold you in the greatest esteem." "Esteem? You are a cruel woman indeed to stand here and talk of friendly affection as if you have not just committed a grave sin against me." "Speak not of sin, Mr. Bridgerton. I did not come here to be shamed by you, nor anyone else. I did not know better. You may think me a villain but I did what I thought I must. No one ever truly helped me or guided me in a different direction. I had no choice. I needed to wed. And you- you were the only man who offered me even a glimpse of happiness." "So I should feel flattered, then? Consider myself lucky that you chose me, lied to me, tried to trick me into a fraud of a marriage? I shall take my leave of you for the last time, Miss Thompson. . .You wish to know the cruelest part of your deception? If you had simply come to me and told me of your situation, I would have married you without a second thought. That is how in love I believed myself to be. But I see now that was all a lie."

This is such a fascinating conversation. It reveals more of Colin than a lot of other scenes he has does. For Colin, it's not Marina being pregnant or having come to the Ton already with child that bothers him, it's that she lied to him. He calls it a fraud of a marriage, says that she told him she loved him, and that he doesn't believe it now. One lie toppled the entire house of cards for him.

Which makes it all the more paramount that Penelope tells Colin that she's Whistledown. He shouldn't have to find out on his own, and in fact, finding out on his own would cause an IMMENSE rift between them. It would shatter his trust in her worse than learning about Marina lying to him. If Penelope instead, however, comes clean, comes to him with honesty, Colin would see that in of itself as an act of love and trust. For Colin, love is being honest. Love is being earnest. Love is being upfront. And even though Marina had every reason not to do so, to hide, to reveal to him after the fact, having lied to him is what really breaks his heart.

This is an opportunity for Bton to get some payoff in a reflection of a scene like this with Colin and Penelope. Because what so many of us Polin fans don't want to face is the fact that Penelope is ALSO keeping a life ruining secret from him. And what Marina says? Can we not also hear that in Penelope's voice? If the question is how they overcome it, the first part of that answer is by Penelope taking accountability. Coming clean.

And even though Marina has more that happens to her, this is the end of her and Colin's love story. From here, they don't really intersect. Marina does say to Daphne that Colin is a sweet boy, and for what it is worth, she is sorry, but they have very little beyond this. Until Season 2 when he visits her [we'll unpack that can of worms at a different time] Eloise comes to Penelope and asks how she's faring, Penelope says their mum swears they're ruined. But Penelope then asks about Colin, if he's in pieces, and Eloise assures that Colin will be fine as most men are, but that Whistledown has gone too far with the slander the sheet did to her family. The Featheringtons are asked to leave the luncheon, and Penelope walks off with them, realizing the true impact of Whistledown and what she's done for the first time.

One of which is Marina's brush with death. Disgraced, abandoned, and rejected, Marina drinks what she hopes is an abortive tea, and Penelope finds her on the floor after she comes to talk to her, perhaps to come clean, perhaps to make amends. Now that Colin is no longer a point of contention between them, Penelope can open her heart once more, and likely feels immensely guilty. In our final episode, Penelope is clearly feeling the weight of her actions, even when Marina apologizes to her after drinking the tea and recovering, is glad she can finally go home, and says Penelope was right. That Colin is a good man with a good heart. That Penelope was good to him, and one day, Colin will see it. It's the end of the season, now. Marina is more than ready to move on.

Enter Phillip Crane. The entire Phillip situation is tragic, how he has to tell Marina that George is dead, and how Marina has his letter as proof that George loved her, and that she thought him a villain. (Marina has a moment that I think will be reflected by Penelope in Season 3: 'I was wrong.' )

The next scene Penelope and Colin share is when he's singing for his family, his voice catching when he looks at her. Likely in gratitude or appreciation, but also this is another moment in which he looks at Penelope differently, their relationship subtly shifting. He realizes she was trying to tell him. He admires how good she is. He's touched by how she cares about him, how she tried to keep him from heartache. And she did. She really, really did.

She just also tried to keep herself from it, too.

But she couldn't. Because at the end of all of this, all these twists, these turns, and all the choices she makes 'for Colin'- he has to choose himself, too. And he chooses to leave, to escape, to heal, and to embrace his passions in travel. and this hurts Penelope, too, because it wasn't that she was trying to keep him from heartache, but rather to keep him for herself. Because she was trying to tell him she loved him.

Immediately following the end of his engagement that she orchestrated, she wanted to confess. In a way, Penelope underestimated Colin, didn't see him all season, the depth of his feelings or his gentle heart. Though she tried to keep him from heartache, heartache found him regardless. She denies his request for a dance, swallows her confession, and leaves. It hurts her that he doesn't want her, but she doesn't think of his perspective in it. To Penelope, Colin is not yet a person, but an idea. This is the first fragment in that image. Which is good. It has to shatter eventually, and it does so at the end of Season 2.

Daphne, the same woman Penelope tried to pit against Marina in the diamond wars at the start of the season becomes the only real ally Marina has. Her only true friend. And the reason Phillip comes and offers Marina marriage, thus keeping her from destitution. Penelope wasn't going to, even though she was sorry at the end. She cries after Marina walks past her without so much as a glance when she walks her way, stone faced, into a carriage with a complete stranger, her dead love's brother, to live the rest of her days in a completely new place.

And Penelope? Penelope engrosses herself into Lady Whistledown, and she continues correspondence with Colin from afar, as she is more comfortable doing, and she dreams of a someday, and she feels invincible, because at the end of the day, even though what she did was objectively not good, she got away with it. She leaves us with a smirk at the end of Season 1.

Which makes her even more bold in Season 2. Which will lead us up to her having to face actual consequences for her actions in S3, because in this entire season, not once does Penelope apologize, and in fact, the two people whom she causes the most harm to, both end up apologizing to her, completely unaware that the entire time, she'd been plotting to break them up from the very beginning

I don't think Penelope is evil, but Marina certainly isn't, either. To assume that Penelope felt betrayed by Marina, to pin the blame onto her, is to twist the narrative, and it has festered so long and so deeply into Polin, that we've seemingly completely forgotten.

Like it or not, the story with Marina serves important roles: it reveals the extent and sacrifices Penelope will go to and make for Colin, for herself, for her own happy ending, and for romance, it shows what a hopeless romantic Colin is, and how dearly he cares for others, how deeply he feels, and how desperately he wants to be heard. And, more than anything, it's the story of a woman who was thrust into circumstances that were bigger than her, that left her scrambling for answers, that revealed everyone else's cruelty in their interactions with her.

And that revealed ours, as well.

sometimes fanon festers for so long that it becomes what we swear is real, even if it isn't. it becomes a rot, in fact, manifesting in so many bad takes, particularly about Marina, in the Polin tag. we've all seen them. Penelope exposed Marina because she did it for Colin. Marina didn't care for Colin and only wanted to trap him. Colin was blind to what was in front of him all along. some of them are more cruel, people stating that Colin was an absolute idiot or that Marina was a heartless bitch.

It's enough of Marina being the Big Bad in Polin's love story. She isn't. Marina got dealt a horrible hand, and she navigated it with so much more grace than I ever could have. She endured physical abuse, verbal degradation, gaslighting, manipulation, derision, fake friends, and the death of her own love story to come out the other end a pragmatic woman with a kind heart, moving forward. Her experiences in Season 1 made her believe she had no Love Story to live. She loved, she lost, she tried again and it blew up in her face.

And she deserves our fucking sympathy

Her story is over in Bridgerton, but as Polin's love story continues, it's important to get a clean look at Penelope's intentions and how morally gray she truly is, which makes her all the more interesting and complex. It makes Polin's love story and their dynamics rich and nuanced and layered. Both Colin Bridgerton and Penelope Featherington said "I'll do anything for love"

we get to see just far that stretches

[thekatebridgerton]

If Eloise had been born a male, she would have totally been Penelope's first kiss. The two were curious as teens and wondered what the big deal is and think nothing of it afterward. Cue Colin being jealous upon finding out his brother stole Penelope's first kiss and confronting him. E: I don't see what the big deal is, it's just Penelope. I've seen her naked for God's sake! (referring to when they took baths together as children) C: EXCUSE ME?!

Now I can't get rid of the image of the Bridgerton kids learning how to swim in Aubrey Hall with the Featherington kids during the summer and baby Eliot and Penelope going off to compare uglies. Like

"why am I different than you Penelope?? Why are you flat and I'm not?? What is this socery?? You should have one of this too!! Wait was yours cut off? Is that what happened? MAMAAA why is Pen missing a thingie" and just being inconsolable because he's not identical to Penelope.

And that's how little Penelope and little Elliot found out that all bodies do not look the same.

Ever since then El has decidedly NOT wanted to ever see Penelope naked.

Even if yeah, they did try kissing because Anthony and Benedict and Colin were making kissing look so cool and Penelope and Eliot were like fourteen and El was sick of hearing boys at Eton talk about it. So in the end he just decided he would rather kiss Penelope first and get it over with.

What Colin doesn't know is that Penelope's first kiss with El was awful. Sticky, weird and way too much teeth. Further solidifying the thought in El's head that he wasn't made to being a rake. And sort of dissapointing Penelope in the whole institution of kissing

Until of course Penelope figured out that kissing El at fourteen just to get it over with carried a different feeling than getting kissed by Colin who she absolutely got heated by whenever they were together.

Penelope may have mentioned it after she got married to Colin that she's never felt about El in that way because the one time they kissed it wasn't a big deal. But refrained from telling him it was a big dissapointment. Just to avoid giving Colin ammo against El.

And also male Eloise being like "I've already seen Penelope naked" and adding before Colin can kill him "trust me neither of us was happy about our findings!"

Penelope nods it's true.

Colin "Findings? What findings? Eliot what did your crazy bookworm head cook up with Penelope"

Eliot is so offended, because seriously, the one with the smutty book collection is Penelope not him. But Colin is here acting like it's El's fault that Pen knows about how babies are made.

El is pretty sure even Philly knows more than him in the intimacy department! Why is Colin acting like El is going around dishonoring women! He's not the person who ravished Pen in a carriage! Or went for a naked swim at the lake Infront of Sophie, or was all over Kate's boobs. El is a gentleman and an intellectual!! Not an animal like Colin.

Philly begs to disagree but oh well

[thekatebridgerton]

Why do you think so many people consider sir Phillip "problematic" and are completely quiet about book! Benedict, who is far more problematic than Phillip?

Do you want the honest answer or the diplomatic answer? Because I might lose a couple of followers for this. So please note that this is my personal opinion and in no way reflects the fandom or Benophie and philoise shippers in general

The honest answer is that a lot of people apply an internalized mysoginy double standard to historical fiction way too much to be healthy.

In fact that's the whole reason I came up with my genderbent Philoise au. Because if Phillip had been a woman, his actions wouldn't look problematic, he wouldn't be 'trapping' Eloise in a life she didn't want in the country with kids that aren't hers (which lemme tell you, in a post pandemic society, sounds like a modern woman's worst nightmare). If his actions were taken by a woman, he'd be a much more typical romantic heroine.

Similarly with Benedict, he did try to trap Sophie in an arrangement she didn't want. But it's just easier for the modern reader to think of Benedict's proposal as romantic than Phillip's because, in Benedict's case, Sophie the female lead doesn't 'lose' anything by being his mistress or by marrying him. She stands to gain both family, home, love and security away from Aramintas clutches

And There in lies the double standard, people can let go of Benedict's problematic behavior, because at the end of the book, the one losing his freedom and his society comforts in the altar of love, is Benedict. That seems like a fitting sacrifice, because he's a man. He's stereotypically able to handle it with the romantic hero buff. But not for Eloise, because she's a woman.

Wheras Eloise 'Loses her freedom' she's seen as giving up more in the altar of love than Phillip is. Because he gets to go on with his life with only the most positive of changes. He gets love, comfort, a mother for his children (same as Sophie) wheras to the modern reader it looks like Eloise gains nothing from the relationship that she didn't have before. And in fact is seen as being losing out on the life she could have had as the spinster sister of a Viscount. So it's easier to be harder on Phillip because of that

Wanna talk problematic?: Here's a rundown of my top 10

1)I personally don't like Benedict much until the end of AOFAG he's pushy, borderline uses his position of power to trick Sophie into situations she doesn't want to be in and ultimately behaves like a spoiled brat denied candy when Sophie insists she doesn't want to be his mistress and side note could you believe I've seen people get annoyed at Sophie's 'hipocrisy' for insisting she doesn't want to be his mistress while being evidently attracted to him, I mean have you seen the entitlement in which Benedict approaches the mistress arrangement with? Seriously? (But then again Benedict's entitlement is purposefully highlighted because getting over it is the whole theme of the book)

2) Anthony, gosh I love him, as a character but the man was willing to marry the sister of a woman he seriously wanted to sleep with. Just because Edwina was a socially acceptable choice. He was also going to marry her fully prepared to cheat on her with any mistress available from the get go. And if you want problematic talk about the scene where he gets mad at Kate for overhearing what I stated above. Kisses her quite passionately may I add. And then throws the key to the room on the ground, to vindictively watch her humiliate herself to pick it up and take her only chance to escape him and avoid further humiliation. Anthony's most problematic scene for me? That one. Takes the cake.

3)Colin, also love him, but have you read Romancing Mr Bridgerton? Colin has the worst temper of all the Bridgertons. Especially with Penelope, like seriously, the guy can get violent pretty easily whenever Penelope does something he doesn't like. But on a scale of one to 10 yeah he's on the low scale

4) Phillip, lied to Eloise about having children and wanting a monther for said children. But considering El was supposed to be Marina's cousin, why didn't Eloise know Marina had children with Phillip?. He's got a temper but he's not on Colin or Anthony's level of mean. And excuse me if I don't consider how bad he did in his early years of marriage with Marina as a strike against him. Thats like me saying Anthony was super problematic after Edmund died because he went full rake and didn't know how to deal with his siblings. Sorry but yeah Phillip isn't that bad

5)Gareth fully planned to trap Hyacinth into marriage. As in the whole ruinning her was premeditated.

6) Simon. Ok Simon isn't problematic, we can leave him alone. He's just not okay with getting married or having children and will do everything to avoid it including taking the risk of killing a Viscount and lying to his wife about why he doesn't want children, that's not problematic

7) Gregory. Also not that problematic. Stupid as hell, yeah. Problematic, no. Lucy probably wanted him to be a little more problematic if I'm being honest. Maybe take Hermione and ravish her or something. Instead Gregory was all about sticking to Lucy like a loyal puppy and honestly, persistently pursuing an engaged woman he knows will marry a gay man, isn't even in the top ten of behaviors I have problems with. Maybe if Haselby had been straight, I'd be like 'oh my gosh Gregory you can't just go after Lucy she's going to get married next week, why didn't you get your head out of Hermione's grass sooner' but meh it's not like Gregory did anything I personally consider jerk behavior

8) honorable mention to Michael who fell inlove with his cousin's wife and later married said cousins widow because *puts on reading glasses* oh yeah, he was goaded into teaching her what being wicked was like. But yup not problematic at all

My point is that, all your romantic heroes are problematic as hell in one way or another. And that depends on what kind of thing you personally consider romantic when you're reading fiction.

I can freely admit I love my male leads, the more problematic the better. You should have seen me at 16 totally obsessed with Edward Cullen and that phase I went trough where I was seriously into Darth Maul ( good times)

But we're not here to deep dive into my psyche of why liking problematic characters who's behavior I'd never tolerate in real life has provided me a great deal of personal growth, helped me recognize toxic traits in real life men and given me a good idea of the difference between reality and fiction as well as developed my critical thinking skills.

And that's the tea

[thekatebridgerton]

What do you think is in store for Polin in s3 (assuming they're the main couple in s4), given this season's development? The scene played out so much worse on the show than in the books, that I feel like it will have to have a bigger impact, no? I'm interested in hearing your thoughts on it.

I think the Polin friendship breakup and LW reveal will be the focus of s3 assuming Netflix is going in book order. And Benophie takes the spotlight next year.

At least the show has to put in the building blocks for the major nexus events that make up the Polin love story

Why was Colin so disatisfied with his life by the time RMB rolled around? ( In s2 he already saw Marina building a content family life, in s3 he may be seen standing in the sidelines as the rest of his siblings do the same, and Penelope avoids him)

Why was Penelope so desperate to be kissed that day? (We may see that the more successful LW becomes, the more she accepts her eventual spinsterhood, maybe she asks for a kiss before doing something drastic and dramatic with LW)

Where did Colin develop that temper that he only shows to Penelope when he's been otherwise friendly in s1 and 2? (Really looking forward to this piece of backstory in s3)

What is so dangerous about the area LW conducts her job that Colin went ballistic when he found Penelope sneaking out? (A bit of the answer was already explained in Eloise s2 arc, Colin's sister has already set a presedent of sneaking out without permission to a printers shop to meet a guy, it's not without reason for Colin to think Pen is doing the same)

On the other hand we can all agree that Penelope will probably spend the entirety of s3 running damage control with Eloise and avoiding Colin. She may start to rely more on her alliance with Mme Delacroix, who as of the beginning of s3 stands as Penelope's only friend/buisness associate. Which would be an excellent way to tie her arc with Sophie's.

Maybe in s3 it's Mme Delacroix who becomes Sophie's fairy godmother after witnessing one too many abuses by Arminta. Instead of the servants of the Earl.

Veering into fanfiction territory for a second here, as two very observant young women that they are, Sophie and Penelope could very likely discover each other's secret identity and use it to keep the other quiet. Sophie won't tell anyone that Penelope is LW if Penelope doesn't tell Benedict she's the lady in silver.

But That's going off topic you asked about Polin

So what I think will happen in s3 is that it will lay a solid foundation for a solid Polin arc. With Colin showing more maturity and finding ways to apologize that Penelope will ignore in favor of her very real concerns of LW nature (Eloise knows her secret, Mme Delacroix knows her secret, the bloody queen is looking for her etc). And Colin never liked being ignored.

All the while Colin comes closer and closer to the LW reveal. Until it explodes on Penelope's face. And they get closer to admitting how they feel about each other in time for s4

And that's our tea