#coffee caffeine 200mg | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

saveyourblood · 19 hours ago

Text

Pretty Boy - Ch 15 (Buddie x Reader)

Summary: Buck’s hands trail down to your hands. He takes his in yours. “Do you love him?” “Buck.” “I know you love me,” Buck continues, playing with your fingers. “You know I love you. But I’m asking if you love him.” The one where you’re an advanced paramedic, Buck and Eddie are firefighters, and you think you might be in love with both of them.

Ch 1 | Ch 2 | Ch 3 | Ch 4 | Ch 5 | Ch 6 | Ch 7 | Ch 8 | Ch 9 | Ch 10 | Ch 11 | Ch 12 | Ch 13 | Ch 14

(gif made by me) Word Count: 3.1k Warnings: angst, discussion of feelings (idk it feels worth a warning)

You slowly blink awake, wincing at the harsh sunlight flooding Eddie’s bedroom window. You roll over and sit up, stretching your hands over your head. You let out a groan as your spine cracks in protest.

You yawn, rubbing your hand down your face as you walk out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. Your throat dries when you see Buck and Eddie sitting at the kitchen table.

“Hey,” you greet awkwardly, then make a beeline towards the coffee maker.

“You aren’t supposed to drink coffee if you’re…”

“If I’m what, Buck?” You chuckle lightly as you grab a mug. “You can say the word ‘pregnant.’ It’s not a curse or something.”

Buck lets out a breath that resembles a laugh. “Right. Sorry.”

You shrug it off. “Besides, pregnant people can have 200mg of caffeine a day, which is about a cup and half of coffee.”

Buck looks at Eddie.

Eddie raises his eyebrows. “Are you gonna take it away from her? Because I’m not.”

You lean against the counter with a satisfied grin.

Buck takes a sip of his own coffee. “So, we’re really doing this?”

Your grin fades and your mouth fills with sand. “Uh, yeah, I guess. I mean, this isn’t how I imagined it happening, but… I always knew I wanted at least one kid.”

You’re not naive; this is far from the ideal circumstance. Your jobs are demanding and unpredictable, and adding school on top of it, your life is already chaotic. Adding pregnancy and an eventual baby to the mix? You have no fucking idea how you’ll make it work.

But… you should make it work. Because even if it’s the wrong timing, you have a lot of factors working in your favor. You have a successful career that earns you a decent income. You have not one, but two committed partners. You’re nearing your 30s. It’ll probably never be a ‘good’ time to have a kid, so this might be as good as it’ll get.

At the end of the day, though, you’re only in it if they are, too.

“What do you boys think?”

“I think…” Buck starts, then leans back in his chair. “I think it’s your decision.”

Oh. Wow. He’s… considering other options. Or at least, he’s putting those options on the table. And you know why: it’s because he’s a good man. He doesn’t want you to feel trapped. He’s giving you an out.

But you don’t want an out. And him giving you an out means you can’t help but wonder if he also wants an out. And thinking about that makes your heart fall into your stomach.

“Okay,” you eventually say. You somehow manage to keep your voice level. “Eddie, what about you?”

Eddie breathes in through his nose. You watch his chest rise and fall. “Honestly?”

You nod. You want — need — nothing but complete and utter honesty.

“I’ve always wanted Christopher to have a sibling.”

You smile. You can see Buck nudge Eddie’s foot under the table.

“But, of course, it’s your body, so it’s your choice,” Eddie quickly adds.

You set your coffee cup on the counter behind you so you can wrap your arms around Buck’s shoulders. “I wanna do this.”

Buck turns in your arms to look up at you. “Yeah?”

You nod. “Yeah.”

A smile creeps across his face. He gently pulls your arm so you’re to the side of him. He sets a hand on your stomach. “There’s a baby in there.”

You run a hand through his hair, then look across the table at Eddie. “ Our baby is in there.”

Eddie smiles. You cock your head, silently prompting him. He takes the hint and pushes away from the table, joining the two of you on the other side. He stands between the two of you, setting a hand on each of your shoulders.

“Hey, you have a pregnant girlfriend now, so you can’t be doing stupid shit,” you say softly, wrapping your free arm around his waist.

Eddie’s smile softens a little as he nods. “I’m gonna talk to Bobby, get set up to talk someone.”

“Good,” you say, kissing his cheek, “because we need you around. All three of us.”

Eddie kisses your forehead, then the top of Buck’s head.

Eddie doesn’t talk about his feelings. It’s probably because he grew up in a house where people didn’t talk about their feelings. Sometimes, though, Eddie really thinks it’s just the way that he is. Some people have no problem discussing emotions, and some people… are Eddie Diaz. It’s not a big deal. It shouldn’t be a big deal.

“So… what would you like to talk about, Eddie?”

“I… don’t know,” Eddie says with a sigh.

There are a lot of things he probably should talk about. There’s probably a lot of childhood trauma to unpack, and don’t even get him started on the dead wife and sudden single father thing. He could talk about his parents or his time in the army. The thing is, though, is he doesn’t want to talk about any of that. He’s not here for his inner child, or his dead wife, or his parents, or his army buddies.

He isn’t doing this for himself. He’s doing it for you and Buck.

Eddie opens his mouth, then closes it. He furrows his brow in contemplation. “Nothing I say leaves this room, right? I mean, if I tell you something, you can’t tell my captain, right?”

“As long as you don’t plan on hurting yourself or anyone else, nothing you say leaves this room,” Frank replies.

Well, if that’s the case, he may as well talk about the actual reason he’s here.

“My partners are worried about me,” Eddie eventually says.

“Your work partners?”

“No. Well, yes, technically, but…” Eddie sighs again, pinching the skin between his eyebrows. “God, this is so stupid.”

Frank doesn’t say anything, waiting for Eddie to elaborate.

“I have a girlfriend, I have a boyfriend, and we all work together. She’s a paramedic, he’s a firefighter.”

“Do they know that you’re dating both of them?”

“What? Oh, yeah, they were dating each other before I started dating them,” Eddie explains. “It’s… complicated.”

“Is that why you’re here?”

Eddie shrugs. “I guess. That, and the fact that she’s pregnant.”

Frank pauses, looking up from the binder sitting in his lap. “...Are congratulations in order?”

The question brings him back to his conversation with Buck, the one they had before you woke up.

“So… we both want this.”

“Of course.”

“Okay, great! But… if she doesn’t… we have to respect that.”

“Of course.”

“And we have to mention it right off the bat, just in case.”

“Okay.”

“We can’t influence her decision in any way.”

“Alright, Buck.”

“It’s her body, so it’s her choice.”

“Yeah, Buck, I get it!”

He smiles. Eddie hopes you know how much Buck loves you. His smile falters a little. He hopes you know how much he loves you.

“It’s a good thing,” Eddie confirms softly. “It’s great, actually. I’m excited to be a dad again.”

“Then why are you here?”

“I’m here because my parents are visiting.”

If Eddie’s going to therapy, Buck figured it only makes sense if he also goes to therapy. When he initially brought up the idea, you were supportive, of course, but you also poked a little fun, which he should have expected.

‘ You just have to do everything Eddie does, huh? I’d make a joke about following him into a burning building, but given our job, it doesn’t feel appropriate. ’

In Buck’s defense, he isn’t just doing it because of Eddie — he’s thought about going to therapy for a long time. So when Maddie said their parents were coming to town, Buck figured it was the closest thing to a sign from the universe he would get.

“Well, if them visiting brings you to therapy, something tells me the relationship isn’t great,” Rosemary notes.

Buck figured it was a conflict of interest if Frank was also his therapist, so Bobby set him up with Rosemary instead. She’s a nice-looking woman; not in the sense that he’s attracted to her, but in the sense that she looks like a nice person to be around. Her hair is light grey and curly, and her circle frame glasses cover the smile lines around her green eyes. She looks like someone’s sassy grandmother or maybe a fun great-aunt.

“It’s not great,” Buck says with a light chuckle. “It always felt like it was me and my sister versus them.”

“How so?”

“They… didn’t pay attention to either of us.” It sounds so juvenile when he says it out loud. “I mean, it felt like they only cared about me when I got hurt; I was a pretty reckless kid.”

“Sounds like they were a contributing factor to that,” Rosemary observes. “Children tend to take attention however they can get it, even if it means hurting themselves or others.”

“This sounds crazy, but… it didn’t even feel like I was fighting a real person. They were just a moving punching bag.” Eddie laughs humorlessly. “Kind of an oxymoron, isn’t it? I would spend the whole day helping people, then I would turn around and hurt them.”

Frank taps his pencil against his binder. “You said you didn’t feel like you were fighting a real person. Tell me more about that.”

“What’s there to tell? That’s how I justified it. It’s how I… coped, I guess. If they weren’t real, I wasn’t hurting anyone, and if I wasn’t hurting anyone, it meant I could keep doing it.”

Frank hums in acknowledgment. “How do you cope now?”

“Huh?”

“You changed the way you act, but that doesn’t change the way you feel,” Frank says. “It doesn’t change the fact that you need an outlet. So, how do you cope now?”

“I cope by avoiding them.”

“You’re having dinner with them,” Rosemary points out. “How well do you think avoidance will work when you’re in the same room with them?”

Rosemary may look like someone’s fun great-aunt, but she speaks more like the drunk uncle — with brutal honesty. Buck appreciates it, but he also wants to wince every time she opens her mouth. It’s a confusing combination.

“Probably not that well,” Buck eventually says.

Rosemary smirks. “So how do you plan on getting through it?”

“Maddie,” he says instantly. “Like I said, it’s always been me and her versus them.”

“Even though Maddie’s the one that invited them. Without telling you.”

Yeah, Buck’s been trying not to think about that too hard.

“She wants her daughter to have grandparents,” Buck says.

“What do you want?”

“I want this. It just… isn’t how I pictured it.”

“You didn’t picture yourself marrying Shannon. You did that.”

“Yeah, well, my family was happy to hear about that one,” Eddie expresses. “This? Not so much.”

“You’re afraid of what your family will think.”

Eddie scoffs. “I’m not afraid — I know what they’ll think. And I don’t want to deal with it.”

Frank turns his head. “You must love them a lot.”

Something about that sentence makes the back of Eddie’s throat burn with bile. “W-what?”

“You think your family will be disappointed in you, which will hurt them. You don’t want to hurt them because you love them.”

Eddie’s jealous of you and Buck for a lot of different reasons. He’s jealous of Buck’s close relationship with his sister. He’s jealous of your skills and ambition. Not once, though, has he ever envied either of your family dynamics.

Until now.

See, Maddie figured out the whole ‘throuple’ thing pretty quickly, mostly because Buck can’t lie to her. It took her a while to adjust, but she doesn’t care — she doesn’t judge. The only family you have to tell is the 118. Buck doesn’t have a relationship with either of his parents, and you don’t talk to your only living parent.

He’s jealous of how easy it is for the two of you. Neither of you has to explain the relationship to your elderly grandmother or preteen son. Sometimes, it seems like the two of you get all the good parts of being together, and he gets stuck with the sucky parts. It’s not fair to feel that way, he knows that. But he can’t help but feel it.

“My parents had a lot of expectations for me,” Eddie says. “Dating two people at the same time and possibly knocking up one of them? Not one of the expectations.”

“You’re not going to tell them, then.”

“I just don’t see the point. All I would be doing is giving them more ammunition.”

“Hmm.”

Buck narrows his eyes. “What does ‘hmm’ mean?”

“Well,” Rosemary sighs, “from what you’ve told me, it sounds like you aren’t all that interested in establishing a good relationship with your parents.”

“I’m not.”

“So why not tell them about everything ? How you feel, your relationship…”

“Because it would end in screaming and crying,” Buck says. “I don’t think that was Maddie’s intention when she invited them.”

“Do you always base your actions on what’s best for others, not yourself?”

Eddie gets done before Buck, so he takes a seat in the waiting room; they scheduled their appointments at the same time so they could carpool.

Buck walks out a few minutes later. Eddie pockets his phone and greets him with a smile. “How did it go?”

It probably would have hurt less if Rosemary just slapped him across the face. As it turns out, healing isn’t supposed to be comfortable. Really, Buck would describe it as painful, like the dull ache of a tooth growing in. It’s the type of pain that’s ultimately worth it, but when the end isn’t in sight, it just hurts.

“Fine,” Buck says simply. “You?”

Eddie isn’t sure if he and Frank click. Then again, Eddie isn’t sure he’ll click with anyone who expects them to bear his soul to them. It’s hard to feel comfortable around someone whose every other sentence makes you itch. It is not a simple surface discomfort, either: it’s the kind of twinge you can feel in your bones.

“It was okay.”

“How was it? Did you boys share all of your deep dark secrets?”

“That’s next week,” Eddie jokes. He kisses the top of your head as he walks by you in the kitchen.

Buck grins, taking a seat next to you at the table. “What have you been up to?”

“Homework,” you groan as you close your laptop. “God, all of this better be worth it.”

“It will be,” Buck promises, setting a hand on your knee.

You smile. “Oh! I have something for you both.”

Eddie frowns, sitting across from Buck as you dig through the backpack on the floor beside your chair. You return with a series of black-and-white photos. You hand one to each of the boys.

“I went to my OB a few days after the ER visit,” you explain. “I wanted to make sure I actually had something to tell you.”

The ‘baby’ isn’t more than a white blob on the sonogram; you can barely make out the difference between the butt and the head. When you were in the office, all you could feel was shock. Now, though, watching the men you love stare at the sonogram with wide eyes… you feel nothing but joy.

“It’s a girl,” Buck says, pointing at the white blob. “I can tell.”

“You can not ,” you snort. “It’s literally impossible.”

“Trust me, it’s a girl,” Buck says. “Don’t you think, Eddie?”

You both look at Eddie. He’s staring at the picture with watery eyes.

“Eddie?” you ask softly, reaching out for one of his hands. “Are you okay?”

Your voice snaps him back to reality. He looks at you, then the sonogram again, then at you again. He lets out a breath that sounds sort of like a laugh.

“I’m okay,” he assures. “I’m… I’m just so happy.”

His response makes your eyes well up — damn hormones.

Eddie scoots out of his chair and leans over, pulling you into a hug. Moments later, you feel Buck wrap an arm around your shoulders, and without looking, you know his other arm is around Eddie.

“So… really, what did you guys talk about?”

The three of you are lying in bed. Buck is laying on top of Eddie, who has his arm wrapped around you. Buck has an open hand set on top of your stomach. They both turn their heads to look at you.

“Unless you really don’t want to talk about it, which I would respect,” you quickly add.

Buck shrugs. “I mostly talked about my parents.”

You raise your eyebrows. You shouldn’t be so surprised: out of all the topics in Buck life that require therapizing, his parents is probably at the top of the list.

“Funny, I talked about my parents too,” Eddie mentions.

Buck turns his head so his chin is resting on the space right below Eddie’s sternum. “Really?”

“Yeah. I told Frank how excited I am to be a dad again, but I don’t think my parents will be thrilled.”

“Were they happy the first time?” Buck frowns.

“Not… exactly,” Eddie cedes, “but I think this time, it’ll be worse.”

“I guess I luck out in that area,” you note.

You know that polyamory is still a very taboo topic. The people in your little bubble are supportive, but they’re just that: in your bubble. You know the rest of the world, including parents and other family members, won’t accept your relationship so easily. It’s easy for you to shrug that reality off, considering you don’t have any family you’re worried about disappointing. You know Eddie doesn’t have it so easy.

Your phone rings on the nightstand table. When you pick it up, you see that it’s an unknown caller. You recognize the area code, but it isn’t one in LA. Hell, it isn’t one from California.

You click ‘accept’ with a frown. “Hello? …That’s me, yes. Why are you calling me?”

Buck and Eddie share a confused look before turning back to you.

“Yeah. …Mhm. …Oh. Okay. Yeah, I’ll… figure something out and call you back. …Thanks, you too.”

You hang up and set your phone back down. You stare straight ahead, your eyebrows still pulled together.

“Who was that?”

“Stillwater General Hospital in Seattle,” you say slowly. “My, uh… my dad is dying.”

#911 abc #evan buckley #evan buckley x reader #911 show #911 on abc #911 reader insert #evan buckley/reader #eddie diaz x reader #eddie diaz #evan buckley x eddie diaz x reader #Buddie x reader #buddie x reader #pretty boy fic #i can write

36 notes · View notes