#cockles x reader smut

[projectionistwrites]

EQUIFINALITY | WINTER

PART ONE, sequel to GESTALT

Joel Miller x afab!reader (7.3k+)

RATING: EXPLICIT (18+, mdni) WARNINGS: angst, grief, mentions of death and injury, age gap (not mentioned), reader is kinda harsh, no smut in this part DISCLAIMER: although this is a continuation of my series titled GESTALT, it could potentially be read as a standalone. however, i strongly suggest reading the first series to provide context for the reunion and background on the relationships between the characters. ALSO, before any joel apologists come after my head, i LOVE mister joel miller but this chapter does kind of call him out on his bullshit. try to contextualize everything with the events of the first series and remember where the reader is coming from before getting mad at me. :) NOTES: this part takes place during episode six of the last of us tv series, titled “kin.” the next installments will occur after the finale episode, when ellie and joel return to jackson.

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43.4799° N, 110.7624° W.

Good luck, cowboy.

Joel’s fingers fiddled with the softening, worn edges of the cockled scrap of paper in his jacket pocket. Ellie was packing up her things further back in the cave, the crackling of the fire between them settling into a pile of smoldering embers and cinders as the sun began to rise. He didn’t need to take the note out again to know what it said—he had the entire thing committed to memory by now. He’d been mulling the numbers and letters over in his head for months, nagging at the back of his brain and gnawing an ulcer of uncertainty into his stomach.

They’d reach the coordinates within the next day. They were close. Just across the bridge over the River of Death, or whatever Ellie had taken to calling it. He wasn’t sure what they’d find—maybe Tommy and a small group, alive and well; or maybe Tommy, cold and alone; or worse, Tommy in an unmarked grave, six feet under the frigid tundra soil.

But cowboy.

The nickname felt like a punch straight to the gut, and shotgun shell straight through his chest. The message had come in three weeks after Tommy had stopped responding to his transmissions—Joel had already been planning on packing up and heading West from Boston to search for him, but he figured he’d stop to check once more with Abe. Maybe Tommy had finally responded, maybe he was alright.

But when he’d marched through the line of people in the cramped hallway and slipped the parcel of cigarettes across the table to the man in question, he was actually surprised to hear that he had, in fact, received a response.

It just wasn’t from Tommy.

“Listen, Joel, this is good news, isn’t it?”

Abe had asked, watching Joel over his thick-rimmed glasses as his eyes swept over the note in this hands.

“How d’you know it wasn’t Tommy?”

Joel breathed lowly, his chest feeling tight. The scrawled letters on the paper in his fingers were all jumbling together in his mind, eyes losing focus.

“Because I do. Came in late the other night. No signoff, no updates, no name. What you have in front of you is all I got.”

Joel’s head was swimming. Was this some sick fucking game? Would Tommy really stoop so low, to manipulate him into a false sense of hope by using that nickname, just so he’d follow in his footsteps?

“Look, Joel.”

Abe sighed, rubbing his eyes tiredly. He leaned forward conspiratorially, taking a drag from his smoke.

“Those coordinates—I did some digging.”

He gestured for Joel to retrieve his map, and he obliged, laying it out flat on the desk in front of him. Abe picked up a dull pencil and prepared to mark.

“It ain’t too far off from where Cody Tower is—where the messages have been comin’ in from your brother.”

He made a small dot on the paper, somewhere in the middle of Wyoming.

“—and those coordinates, over here.”

He swiped another pencil stroke a short distance away, across the river on the map. He looked up at Joel.

“All open country, out there. No telling what you’ll find, and we don’t even know who it’s from—”

“Thanks.”

Joel had muttered, and it was the closest thing to gratitude Abe had ever received from the man as he stormed back out the door, the note clutched tightly in his right hand.

And now he was here. Cody Tower had been a ghost town. All these miles, all these months—he’d lost Tess, and Bill and Frank, and Henry and Sam. There was a lingering doubt in his throat—he’s come all this way. What if he didn’t find what he was looking for? What if—what if this had all been for nothing?

This wasn’t just about Tommy anymore. But then again—it never really had been, had it?

“So... who’s Y/N?”

Joel’s blood ran cold. His grip on the sniper tightened as his neck snapped around. Ellie was staring at him expectantly, fingers wrapped around the straps of her canvas backpack. His lips pressed into a line.

“The hell did you hear that name?”

A shadow crossed over his face, but Ellie knew better than to be intimidated. Still, she could tell she’d struck a nerve. She trekked forward, bumping into him playfully as she passed.

“You still mumble in your sleep. Say it a lot.”

Joel slung his backpack over his shoulder, tucking his leather jacket into the strap as he and Ellie trudged onward through the snow.

“…was she someone special?”

The insinuation in her tone was hard to miss. Joel swallowed. Months ago, he would’ve shut her down completely, probably chided the girl and iced her out, but now, after everything, he just sighed.

“Just someone I used to know.”

She knew better than to press any further. If the tick of his jaw was any indication, she had to tread lightly on the subject. They continued in silence of awhile, snow packing beneath the weight of their heavy boots, before Joel spoke again.

“S’was my neighbor. Lived next door, back home.”

“In Boston?”

Joel blew out something reminiscent of a chuckle, scratching his head.

“No. No, in—in Texas. Before—all this.”

“Hard to believe there was ever a before.”

Ellie muttered, and Joel hummed in agreement.

“Yeah. Was a long time ago. Doesn’t matter anymore.”

The girl's eyes narrowed as she watched him in her periphery.

“Seems like it still matters to me.”

Joel gave her a hard look, but she smiled innocently up at him, widening her gait just a bit to put some distance between them. He let out a long sigh, running a tired hand down his face. It didn’t matter—it shouldn’t matter. But he still tasted your name on his lips; still heard your laughter in the back of his mind, mingling with the innocent giggles of his late daughter; could still see the tears flooding your eyes and spilling down your cheeks as you fell to your knees before him, sobbing for him to stay, Joel, please, I am begging you, don’t do this, I love you, please—

They’d reached the bridge. Towering steel columns lined the path ahead of them, cold and unforgiving. To Ellie, cold and unforgiving seemed awfully familiar.

“The River of Death.”

She announced in a menacing voice, eyes wide for dramatic effect, and Joel shook his head, trying hard to fight the tinge of a smile that was making its way onto his face.

“What do you think is over there?”

Joel shrugged, cautiously taking his first step onto the platform before gesturing for Ellie to follow.

“Guess we’ll have to see if it lives up to the name.”

Joel could feel the familiar tightness in his chest as he clumsily swatted at the tears below his eyes, purposefully avoiding his brother’s sympathetic gaze.

The smell of sawdust once would’ve soothed his frazzled nerves, but the workshop in Jackson reminded him too much of home—a place he could never go back to.

And now Tommy had a home. And a wife. And a kid on the way—Joel had traveled hundreds and hundreds of miles to save his brother from some inevitable doom, but he was perfectly fine without him. No, it was worse—Tommy was better off without him.

I’m failin’ in my sleep.

The whole reason he’d agreed to take Ellie was because he was already planning on heading West himself—and now he was here, and it was just another dead fucking end. Another failure. All the people he’d lost, all the pain he’d suffered—it’d all been for nothing. He wasn’t rescuing his brother from something—he didn’t get to play hero. He should’ve fucking stayed in Boston. Then he’d still have Tess, and Ellie would’ve been better off with Marlene anyhow—and Y/N. Of course you weren’t here, of course Tommy had sent that radio transmission, of course Joel had been kidding himself all along—

“Come with me.”

Tommy’s voice pierced the silence that hung in the air, and Joel flinched at the sound. When his glassy eyes finally turned to his brother, he gestured with a nod of his head to follow him out of the woodworking shed and into the chill of the evening.

Joel grunted as he forced himself into the new boots Tommy had given him—they were snug, and warm, and way nicer than the weathered pair he'd been sporting up until this point. He stared down at them once he’d laced them up, wondering when in God’s name a new pair of boots had become such a fucking luxury.

“Joel.”

Tommy urged, and the man finally stood, following his brother outside and into the town square. As they walked beneath threaded strands of yellow lights, past decorated Christmas trees and families making their ways home, Joel was disgusted to feel a pang of resentment fleet briefly through his mind. Tommy had actually managed to find—create—some semblance of normalcy, of comfort, and Joel was jealous. It wasn’t fair—how could life still go on when so much had been lost?

Tommy spared him a look as he paused in front of a large wooden door, and Joel’s eyes flitted upwards to read the carved sign hanging above the entrance—MEDICAL. The building was right on the edge of the square, a decently sized structure with harshly tinted windows and a tiny handwritten card plastered beside the door—in black letters, with a tiny reversable placard beneath it.

THE DOCTOR IS: IN.

A bell chimed when Tommy shouldered the door open, holding it so Joel could step in beside him. The waiting room was cozy, filled with a mismatched collection of armchairs and recliners, a coffee table in the center with coloring pages and crayons strewn about. In the far left corner was a repurposed dining table that obviously served as a makeshift reception desk, although the chair behind it was vacant. There was only one door in the place, seemingly leading back into the examination room, and from just beyond, Joel could barely make out the sound of a child’s laughter.

Tommy lifted a hand to gesture for Joel to remain where he was before walking towards the door and slowly lifting his fist to knock. Joel felt anticipation well inside of his stomach, a swirling pool of uncertainty beginning to settle in. Tommy’s knuckles rapped against the wood.

“Hey, doc?”

He called softly, and Joel heard a woman’s voice over the sound of giggling.

“Yeah, just a sec, boss-man.”

Joel’s brows furrowed as Tommy came to stand back beside him, watching his expression shift carefully. He cleared his throat just as the door in front of them popped open and a little boy came bursting out.

Joel felt the breath get caught in his throat as two women followed the young child from the room, chitchatting animatedly with each other. One of the women was young, seemingly the child’s mother, but the other—

It was you. He watched as you threw your head back to laugh at something the woman across from you had said, you hand flying out to pat her good-naturedly on the bicep. The woman thanked you quickly before she chased after her child, the bell chiming as the pair exited—but Joel couldn’t hear it as your eyes met his.

You looked—the same. Or at least, more so than he had imagined. Your hair was shorter, and darker, not sun-bleached from long summer days spent out in the Texas heat. Your figure had filled out; even beneath the pair of pale pink scrubs you were wearing he could see that your soft curves had toned into a sturdy layer of muscle. Your eyes were lined with crow’s feet—wrinkles indicating that even after all this time, you’d never stopped smiling, never stopped laughing, and as your gaze met his, it was just...you. The same gleam in your eyes as the last time he’d seen you. The only notable change was the long, thin jagged pink line running down from your forehead and cutting into your right brow—a fully healed scar, indicative of some sort of injury from long ago.

The man was frozen, and suddenly all too conscious of his own lackluster appearance—he wondered how different he seemed to you, if behind his graying hair and deteriorating body you could still see any trace of the man you knew all those years ago. He wondered if he bared his sins through the lines on his face—if you could somehow see every horrible thing he’d done just by sparing him a glance.

But if you could, you didn’t show it. Instead, your lips flickered up at the corners, just barely, but enough that there was the notion of a grin on your still perfect pink lips.

“Joel.”

You acknowledged, although you didn’t make any move further to greet him. He was shocked at your ability to remain so collected—he was flustered, speechless, his mouth opening and closely dumbly like a fish out of water. He didn’t know what to say—didn’t know what to do. He wanted to pull you into his arms, wanted to apologize for everything he’d ever done to harm you, wanted to fall to his knees and thank a God he didn’t even believe in that somehow you’d made it.

But instead, he snapped his jaw shut and cleared his throat, shuffling his weight a bit awkwardly on his feet. Tommy glanced at his brother in his periphery—saw the tension that hovered over him and rendered him practically incapacitated. With a sigh, he decided to throw him a bone, and turned to you.

“Just thought—Just thought you two might like to, uh, catch up.”

Tommy offered sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders to display his discomfort. You leaned against the doorframe.

“Does Maria know about this?”

Joel watched as you quirked a suspicious brow at his brother, a small smirk on your face. Tommy’s eyes widened in panic.

“Well—no, but I just figured—look, please don’t tell her, I know—”

“Relax, boss-man, I’m just teasin’ you. She brought in the girl to see me earlier today.”

Joel was startled to learn that.

“You—You met Ellie?”

Your eyes snapped back over to him, as if surprised he was actually able to speak. You regarded him softly.

“Yeah, I met Ellie. She’s a fuckin’ pistol. Only fourteen?”

You clarified, and Joel nodded. You whistled lowly, smiling mischeiviously.

“Jesus, cowboy—two decades ago, you thought 22 was too young.”

Tommy’s hand flew to his mouth in an attempt to cover up the bark of a laugh that spilt out. It took Joel a few seconds to register your comment, but when he did, his entire body stiffened, eyes widening in blatant offense and, frankly, incredulity.

“The hell is wrong with you? She’s just—”

“Oh, chill out, cowboy, I was just joking.”

You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms over your chest. Joel narrowed his eyes, and just like that, the tension between you was back, but Tommy was not oblivious to it, this time. He cautiously made a move towards the door.

“Well, I’ll just leave you two to—”

“No!”

You exclaimed, sounding borderline insulted.

“You’re just gonna leave? The fuck do you want me to do with him?”

Joel scoffed at the way you were referring to him, your hand gesturing to him as if he were a child you were being forced to babysit. Tommy threw his hands up in defense.

“Easy, doc. I gotta go see the missus—we’re puttin’ him up in 38, right across the street from us. Just—I don’t know, Y/N, just do your doctor thing and then walk him over there. You’re fine.”

“And whose idea was it to put him in 38?”

You glowered threateningly, the scar on your face contorting with the expression, and Tommy swallowed at your clear disdain.

“Actually, that was Maria’s.”

“Fuckin’ classic.”

You murmured angrily, and when Tommy turned to leave once more, you waved a dismissive hand towards him, scoffing in distaste. The door banged shut behind him, and just like that, you and Joel were alone.

His eyes flitted from the door and back to you, finding your eyes already on him. He could see the maturity in them—you seemed older, wiser, your gaze more calculating and scrutinizing. Even with the new scar that you adorned, you were just as beautiful as the day he last saw you. Your shoulders sagged in defeat before you jerked your head to the side.

“Come on, then, cowboy. Time for your appointment.”

Joel silently walked towards you, shuffling past you and into the examination room. He felt the heat of your body as he brushed past you, and fuck, you still smelled like—like you, all these years later. Clean, like freshly folded linens or laundry straight out of the dryer, with just a dash of citrus.

He paused in the threshold, taking in the room. It was fairly spacious, with a steel examination table pushed up against one wall and your desk on the other. The wall straight across from him was lined with shelving that contained more medical equipment than he thought existed—jars of various medications, bandages, gauze, pads and tampons, antiseptic and antibiotic ointments, and other various supplies that he didn’t even know the name of.

“Well, up you get.”

You nudged his back with the knuckles of your right hand, gesturing towards the steel examination table. He shot you a silent glare, but you masked your satisfied smirk as he hoisted himself up onto the surface, leaning back against the wall to face you.

You sat in your threadbare office chair, rolling it away from your desk so you could face him. He watched as you reached into a jar full of tiny white pills on the corner of your desk, grabbing a few and tossing them back into your mouth with ease. His jaw slackened.

“Ain’t that against your bylaws, or somethin’?”

He managed to jab, quirking his brow, and you rolled your eyes at him, chewing the tablets in your mouth.

“They’re sugar pills, dumbass. I give ’em to the kids when they get hurt—placebo effect. You want one?”

You picked up the glass jar and tilted it towards him, but he just shook his head, never taking his eyes off of your face. You rolled your eyes at him, stealing one more from the jar before tightening the lid back on and sliding it back onto the shelf.

You spun your chair back around to face him again, folding your hands in your lap as you watched him. He just stared right back, jaw set stiffly, arms crossed over his chest, mask impenetrable. You pursed your lips, stubborn enough to not want to break the silence that befell you. Joel finally cracked.

“You’re a long ways from California.”

His voice was gruff and husky, but even beneath the rough edge, you could make out a hint of familiar softness. You blinked at him.

“You’re kiddin’, right?”

You started, and the man’s brows furrowed more, indicating his confusion. You laughed incredulously.

“Twenty years, you’ve had to come up with a conversation starter, and that’s what you settle on? Jesus, Joel.”

You huffed, leaning back into your chair and reclining slightly. Joel’s jaw rippled at your mockery.

“Well, hell, forgive me for not meeting your expectations, darlin’.”

He expected you to fire back at him, to humor him with the witty back-and-forth banter that he’d missed so much, but you just sighed, sinking further back into your chair and shaking your head softly to yourself.

“Took you long enough to get here. I was startin’ to think you hadn’t gotten my message.”

Joel felt his heart skip a beat, and his guarded expression briefly exposed a look of realization.

“So it was you.”

You let out a humorless laugh, avoiding his gaze.

“Yeah, Joel, it was me. But I hope to God you kept that to yourself—Maria would kill me if she knew I’d contacted you.”

“Get the sense that she’s not my biggest fan.”

Joel grumbled, leaning his head back against the wall behind him. He was surprised to see your hardened eyes soften a bit, full of something resembling pity.

“She’s just—she’s protective. Tryin’ to keep me and Tommy safe.”

He tried not to read into your words too much, but he felt himself grow defensive.

“Safe. From me.”

You tilted your head back, squeezing your eyes shut and drawing in a sigh in an attempt to maintain your composure.

“Well, you’ve certainly earned yourself quite the reputation, Mister Miller.”

You scoffed, and Joel felt his face fall slightly, his mouth turning into a frown.

“So you’ve heard about me, then?”

You still avoided his eyes, your own arms crossing over your chest.

“I mean, just things from Tommy, but I doubt he told me everything. Still, Maria—Maria doesn’t think you were the best role model for your brother.”

“And what do you think?”

Joel leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees, and you swallowed, opening your mouth to reply just as the door to the clinic abruptly slammed open, the bell nearly flying off the hinge from the sudden rattling. You and Joel immediately burst into action, and you raced out of the exam room to investigate the intrusion.

Joel paused behind you when you slowed, taking in a relieved deep breath when you realized there wasn’t an immediate threat. The young boy from earlier had barged in, tears trailing down his round, rosy cheeks as he stared up at you with a look of almost betrayal. His mom was attempting to catch her breath, standing in the doorway hunched over, and young girl was standing to her right, presumably her daughter, who looked to be barely older than ten.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N,”

The mother began to explain, her hand pressed against her chest to try to regulate her breathing.

“We were heading back to the mess hall for movie night but Jenny made a comment to Ben about his splinter, and—”

“Why don’t you wan’ me to get better?”

Ben interrupted, more tears falling from his wide eyes as he pouted, holding up the index finger of his left hand to showcase the bandage that you had put there earlier.

You startled backwards.

“What are you talkin’ about, Ben? Of course I want you to get better, that’s my job.”

“Then why didn’t you use your powers on me?”

He stamped his foot in frustration, and Joel stood back, watching the scene unfold before him with furrowed brows. Your eyes snapped over to his older sister, Jenny, who was trying to hide her amused smile behind her hand. Finally, you knelt down in front of the young boy, who sniffled and avoided your eyes.

“You’re right, Ben, I totally forgot. I’m so sorry. Can I fix it now?”

You asked carefully, holding your hand out for him. He contemplated for a minute before nodding carefully, offering you his left finger extended in front of him. Joel felt a weight settle onto his chest as you carefully pressed your lips to the pad of his injured finger, making an exaggerated smooching sound as you pulled away. The young boy’s face immediately brightened, and you smiled at him.

“There! Did the magic kiss make it feel all better?”

You leaned down to look into his eyes, and he nodded at you happily before quickly turning back towards the door and running into his mother, clinging to her legs.

The woman smiled at you, both apologetically and gratefully.

“Thank you, Y/N, and again, I’m so sorry—”

You waved a dismissive hand.

“No worries, Beth. Seriously, it was my fault, I should’ve remembered. Thanks for the reminder, Jenny.”

You winked at the older girl teasingly, and she hid her face further behind her hand, biting her lip to hold in her laughter. As the family turned to leave, you shouted a reminder to them.

“Be careful on the benches in the mess hall! They haven’t been sanded well and I don’t want him to get any more splinters!”

The door shut behind them and Joel watched your shoulders immediately sag when they left, your lungs exhaling a long, exhausted sigh. When you turned around to go back into the office, you jolted slightly, as if you’d forgotten that Joel was there. He studied you carefully, analyzing you, and you hastily pushed past him and back into the exam room.

“Sorry about that. You know how toddlers are.”

You settled back into your office chair, but as the door clicked shut behind Joel, he remained standing, leaning back against the wood with his arms crossed. You were looking at some paperwork on your desk before your eyes lifted to glance at him. He remained stoic, silent, and you sighed.

“Ellie’s a cute kid. Reminds me of someone.”

You gauged his reaction, watching his muscles tense and his jaw clench at your admission, his eyes casting down to his feet. He didn’t respond—you decided not to push it.

“How’d you get stuck haulin’ the walking cure across the states?”

That caught his attention. He stood abruptly upright, his eyes widening as he stared at you, a brief look of panic rising in him.

“How—she told you?”

You made a motion for him to calm down.

“Relax, it’s fine, seriously. I saw her bite marks. Pretty fuckin’ wild, though.”

“Why’d she tell you?”

Joel seemed unsatisfied with your answer, taking an intimidating step towards you, his voice low and threatening. He seemed to be forgetting the fact that his fear tactics wouldn’t work on you.

You rolled your eyes.

“I’m easy to talk to. Good at makin’ people feel comfortable. Besides, she said she’d heard my name before. Apparently you talk in your sleep?”

Joel’s arms fell to his sides, his jaw clenching rhythmically and hands balling into fists. His eyes dropped to the floor, but you let out a short, bright laugh.

“Don’t worry, I don’t mind. That’s actually one of the first things Tommy told me when we met back up.”

Joel threw his head back with a frustrated groan, particularly annoyed when he heard you cackling from your seated position in front of him, obviously deriving great pleasure from his discomfort. When you’d finished laughing, however, the mood quickly soured once again, his dark eyes fixing you within them carefully.

“You can’t say a word to anyone about it.”

“What, about you dreamin’ about me?”

“Y/N. You know damn well what I’m talkin’ about.”

He was practically growling at you, his eyes narrowed as he took another menacing step closer. You were getting fed up with his attempts at intimidation.

“I’m not gonna say anything, okay?”

“Swear to me.”

To your surprise, Joel leaned down and grabbed the arms of your office chair, spinning it so you were facing him completely. He leaned down in front of you, eyes level with yours, only a foot away as he challenged you silently with his gaze. Up close, he could see the jagged edges of the healed cut through your forehead, marring your perfect complexion.

“Swear to me, you won’t tell Maria, or anybody.”

You scoffed, surprising Joel by leaning closer towards him instead of away, not breaking eye contact as you fixed him with your own intense stare.

“I promise. Besides, you already know that I’m great at keepin’ secrets.”

He pulled away from you harshly, abruptly, your chair sliding back a few inches at his sudden release of its arms. You smirked to yourself, somewhat satisfied with your ability to still get under his skin, even after all this time.

“Now, go sit back down, and tell me everything. From the beginning.”

Joel opened his mouth the protest, but you pinned him down with a glare.

“Don’t. This is my town, Joel—you’re the outsider here, not me. Which means I get my answers first.”

He pursed his lips, trying to come up with some way to contradict you, but he knew deep down that you were right—you had the upper hand in this situation. Begrudgingly, Joel pushed himself back onto the table across from you, grunting with the effort as he settled back against the wall. You rolled your chair a bit closer to him, leaning back and watching him intently.

“Alright, then. Tell me the story about how the cowboy and the little firefly managed to survive their journey out West, searchin’ for a brother and a cure.”

Joel regarded you carefully, fighting the urge to correct you.

And searching for you.

Instead, he opened his mouth and began to speak.

Joel’s brows furrowed as you rejoined him on the gravel street from the house you had stopped by. Your arms were holding a variety of clothing items, pressed tightly to your chest as you nodded for him to follow you.

“What was that about?”

He asked, maintaining several feet of distance between the two of you as you lead him further away from the town square.

“Stopped by to see Mary-Ann. Her husband is about your size, and I figured you wouldn’t object to a new set ’a clothes.”

You jokingly looked him up and down, scrunching up your nose in disapproval at his current attire. Even with your teasing, Joel felt gratitude sneak up on him as he watched you.

“You didn’t have to do that.”

He spoke lowly, and your quick pace faltered slightly at the tenderness that breached the surface of his words. Your smile wavered.

“Yeah, I know. S’really not a big deal.”

You shrugged it off, refusing to expose any vulnerability to the man. You were bound and determined to keep your head up in the face of his sudden reappearance in your life—the last thing you needed was for Joel to think he still had power over you.

“What’d you trade for it? I’m sure there’s somethin’ I can—”

“Joel, s’fine.”

You snapped, harsher than you had intended. You sighed.

“I’m the town doctor, and I treat everyone and don’t expect anything in return, so when the time comes that I actually need somethin’, people are more often than not willing to help me out.”

He didn’t respond, and you continued your trek through the snow in silence. After a few more tense minutes, you reached house number 38, pausing when you saw light peeking through the curtains in a room upstairs, the window cracked to let cool air into the stale home.

“So, this is you. Ellie’s already upstairs, m’sure.”

You paused in front of the door, turning to face the man head-on. The familiarity of looking up at him like this, his brown eyes regarding you with undivided attention, filled you with a deep sense of melancholy. The proximity was dizzying. You refused to acknowledge the sensation.

You offered him the clothes in your arms—a fleece-lined burgundy flannel, a pair of jeans, boxers, socks, and an undershirt—and he accepted them gratefully.

“Tommy and Maria are right across the way, and... I’m, uh, right next door if you need anything.”

You tried to hide the resentment that soured your lips as you told him where your own home was located, and although he didn’t say it out loud, you saw the flicker of recognition in his eyes that you were, once again, neighbors. How serendipitous.

You hesitated, staring at the ground in between the gap of yours and Joel’s boots, contemplating. Finally, you figured you’d extend an olive branch.

“Listen—after you get cleaned up, if you wanted—I mean, I have to talk to Maria quick, but ’m probably gonna stay up for awhile, so if—you know, if you’re not too tired, I wouldn’t mind—”

“Thanks.”

Joel interrupted your senseless rambling, indicating that he understood your winded invitation for his company. You blew out a breath, a blush creeping up your cheeks as you met his eyes once more before stepping around him and closing the short distance to the house across the street. Joel watched as you walked away.

He was fuming, but his flaming hot anger was quickly tempered by a lingering sadness that threatened to consume him. Ellie had some fucking nerve—bringing up Sarah, trying to manipulate him into taking her the rest of the way. He felt nauseous, his jaw clenched tight as he sat on the edge of the bed in his own bedroom, his eyes flickering up to stare out the window that shrouded him in moonlight.

There was a cool breeze filtering in through the crack in the window, but when he looked out, he saw you. You were staring up at Ellie’s window, your hands buried in the pockets of your winter coat and your face painted with discomfort. It was only then that Joel realized Ellie’s window had been open, as well—how long had you been standing there? Had you heard everything?

Joel found himself rising, walking to stand up against the window. The movement caught your attention, your gaze briefly shifting as you made eye contact with him. The silvery-pink skin of your scar seemed translucent beneath the streetlights. You stared up at him, wordlessly confirming that yes, you’d heard every goddamned word before you turned and stomped over towards your own home, downtrodden and damaged.

He wasn’t consciously in control of his body as he swiped his jacket from the end of the mattress and descended the stairs, exiting the front door just in time to see yours slam shut. He swallowed, letting his exhale cloud out in front of him in the frigid air before he followed your snowy footsteps, pausing on your front porch and staring at the closed door.

You wouldn’t want him to join you anymore, surely—not after you’d been subjected to his aggression towards Ellie. Your silence signaled your disinterest, or so he told himself. Still, he hesitated. His calloused fingers brushed against the doorknob, twisting sharply, and to his surprise, the door swung open easily.

An olive branch.

The hallway before him was dark, but there was a soft yellow light emanating from deeper in your home, and he could hear the clanking of dishware and cutlery as he stepped into the threshold and closed the door behind him.

His heavy footsteps echoed loudly against the creaky wooden floor as he followed the sounds, the hallway opening up to a small kitchen where you were facing away from him, the smell of coffee filling Joel’s lungs as he breathed in deep. Real coffee. Even better than goddamn liquor.

He watched as you poured two mugs of the dark, steaming beverage, setting the pot back on the counter before picking up the mugs and turning to face him. You still didn’t speak, didn’t even look at him as you squeezed past him and set one mug on the end of the round wooden table before sitting down on the opposite side. Joel took the hint, the legs of the chair scraping the hardwood as he pulled it out and cautiously seated himself, his hands instinctually coming to cradle the warmth of the mug in front of him.

“You heard all that?”

He croaked.

You took a small sip, your head turned to stare out the back window and into the darkness of the trees outside. He waited, silently, for you to set the tone of the meeting. He watched your jaw clench as you finally opened your mouth the speak.

“Just—”

Your voice cracked, and you cleared your throat. There was grimace on your face, words wobbly and cautious.

“Just when I think you can’t possibly let me down even more, you somehow find a way.”

He scowled, but felt his beating heart sink, an anchor weighing him down at your confession. He didn’t say anything—just kept watching your face. Your features always betrayed you; you wore your heart on your sleeve. He could read every expression with practiced precision, and now, he studied you diligently.

You finally turned to look at him, eyes glossy and sad. He swallowed.

“You know, I—I stuck my neck out for you. To Maria. Even after all the shit I heard from Tommy, even after everything, I still thought—still thought there might be at least some trace of the man I knew all those years ago.”

“That was your first mistake.”

His gruff voice interjected, posture stiff.

“I ain’t the same person I was. And neither are you.”

“You’re wrong.”

You shook your head with such conviction that Joel faltered.

“I haven’t let the world harden me, Joel. I’ve grown, and I’ve learned, but I’m still the same person I’ve always been."

“You’re lucky to be alive, then. Naive to think that you can still care about people in a world that doesn’t care about you.”

You studied him, cold and calculated, before nodding sharply, a look of disapproval in your eyes. The scar that ran through your brow curled as you scowled.

“You just feel so fuckin’ sorry for yourself, don’t you?”

Joel was utterly taken aback, blinking once, then twice, before his eyes narrowed.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. You think—you think you can use your grief, your pain, to justify your actions, like it can excuse the person you’ve become. We don’t have control over anything that happens to us, Joel. Shit happens, and the world still spins. The only thing we do have control over is the way we react to it—how we choose to let it affect us.”

You were glaring daggers through him, resentment contorting your attractive features into a snarl, your scar pinched inward with the furrow of your brow.

“Ellie was right. You’re not the only person to lose someone. Your grief does not justify your actions. I’ve heard about the things you’ve done, Joel. The horrible things. You don’t get to say that the world forced you to become what you are—you made that choice. You let your grief consume you, you let it control your life, you let it turn you cold and callous and spiteful and cruel. That’s not the world, Joel—that was you."

He felt his chest grow tight, stunned by your words. There was anger growing in him, blazing hotter.

“Don’t—”

“No.”

You snapped, and Joel could see his own rage reflected in your eyes.

“No, Joel, you’re gonna shut the fuck up and listen to me, for once. I’ve waited too damn long to say it, and you at least owe me this.”

He silently seethed, fists clenching beneath the table as his leg began to bounce with anxiety.

“Look around you. All of these people—me, too—have suffered, have been put through so much, but we’re still here. We’re trying. We’re fighting. We found hope where there wasn’t any, in spite of everything, we’re choosin’ to move forward. So you can’t say that the only way to survive is to become as hateful as the world around you—there’s still good left.”

He stayed quiet, head silently shaking at your words. HIs jaw was rippling as it clenched. You grew silent for a moment, before hesitantly speaking up. Your tone was much softer, now.

“You’re not the only person to lose her, Joel. You’re not the only person who lost Sarah.”

His eyes snapped to you, his expression turning stony at the mention of his daughter. He despised the look of pity in your eyes—the look of sympathy.

“I’m sorry, Joel. I’m so sorry about Sarah, I can’t even begin to understand how hard it must’ve been for you to go through that, but—but you don’t get to own that. That grief doesn’t belong to you.”

You swallowed. There were tears welling in your eyes, threatening to fall.

“Do you really think this is what she would’ve wanted you to become? What she—”

He stood abruptly, anger bubbling over and spewing from him as he shouted at you.

“You have no fucking right—”

“I loved her, too, Joel!”

You screamed, standing to meet him, and the man recoiled, flinching as tears began to track down your cheeks. You fumed.

“I loved Sarah, and I loved you, and I spent every single day missing you and hoping that by some godforsaken miracle, you—my family, was okay.”

My family. His gaze dropped to his shoes as he swallowed thickly.

“And when I heard from Tommy what had happened, I just—my heart broke for you, Joel, of course it did, but that little girl—I know she wasn’t mine, but I loved her, too. And don’t tell me I have no right to talk about her, because I did know her. I spent every day for five years with her, watchin’ her grow up, and—and I know it’s not the same, but you can’t take that from me. As hard as you try—as hard as you tried—to erase me, to push me away... I’ve never stopped loving you. Either of you.”

You turned away from him, trying to mask the pain that was erupting from deep within you—years and years of repressed anguish spilling from every pore.

Your back was to him, your shoulders rising and falling with shaky breaths, your sobs subdued by your willpower alone. As much as he tried to fight it, Joel felt guilt nesting within his soul.

“I know your world ended that night, I know you lost everything—but my world ended the night before.”

His lungs felt like they were shrinking.

“Y/N—”

“I’m gonna ask you something, Joel, and I already know the answer, but—but I need to hear you say it.”

You turned to face him once again, your sadness briefly replaced with cool calculation as you scrutinized him. He gave a barely perceptible nod.

“Did Sarah die that night, thinkin’ I just up and left without saying goodbye? Without knowing the truth?”

He felt the blood drain from his face, his mouth dry and tongue like sandpaper. He didn’t respond—he didn’t need to. You saw it in his eyes, the silent resignation, the shadow of shame that crested his features, the way his jaw rippled. You nodded slowly, the last of your tears drying up as you sniffed, and Joel could see the resentment slowly taking control.

“Darlin’, I—”

“When I saw you with Ellie, I thought maybe I was wrong. Maybe there was still a part of you in there that could love, that could care, that could be a father. Ellie is someone’s daughter, Joel. What if it was Sarah? You can’t—don’t turn your back on her. Please. Don’t—don’t break my heart again.”

He swallowed thickly, unable to meet your gaze. You shook your head again, an uncharacteristic calmness suddenly possessing you.

“I’ll pack you a bag and put it on my porch for you to take tomorrow morning. Some rations and clothes and everything you’ll need."

You started walking towards the door, as if ready to lead him out, and he shook his head frustratedly.

“I can't take her, Y/N, I’m not—”

“Yes, you are.”

You clipped, a glare piercing through him as you opened up the front door for him.

“Because if you don’t, m’gonna have to listen to you bitch about how much you regret it for the rest ’a your sorry life, and I’m not willing to put up with that.”

True to your word, there was a new backpack sitting on your front step early the next morning. Joel knocked twice on your door, but if you were home, you ignored him. He rifled through the contents quickly—you’d even included a makeshift first-aid kit, a thermos of coffee and some grounds.

As he shouldered the bag, a piece of paper fluttered to the ground. It was a note, messily scrawled in your familiar handwriting. He felt his heart skip a beat as he reread it, over and over, his lips parted in shock.

Cowboy—

I kept my eyes closed, but five minutes is starting to feel more like twenty years—but I'm still waiting. I'll always be waiting for you, Joel.

Good luck. Maybe when you get back, you can hold up your end of the bargain. I've learned to be patient.

Your perpetual neighbor, Y/N

P.S. I'm sorry. And I forgive you.

You remembered.

TAGLIST: @spiidergirlsworld @canpillowscry @str84pedro @daddy-din @pedropascal-whore @pppmitt @thirdoffive @elliescumsl0t @kagajgajaguwbeidheubqk (please comment to be added/removed)

[impala-dreamer]

Excuse me...

Have I acquired your attention? Good. Ok -

So, I don't know how many of you remember my Tell Me About drabbles, or who would care anymore, but...

Let's bring them back!

Now, you may say, "but, Beka- you never answered my original one... did you keep them all?" Yes. Yes I did. And.... Some of them got full fics that are on my Patreon and will someday appear here lol So, yeah, I may answer one from 2 years ago, but new ones are so much more fun, aren't they? Also, there's new characters to choose from! "Like who? and what? and how? and huh?" Well, keep on reading and all will be revealed!

So, you may know I've been working like 5608308 hours a week now that I have a new WFH job, which is great, but I'm burning out fast and I need some writing back in my life.

Send me an ASK that starts with "Tell Me About... " and then fill in the rest with whatever prompt you'd like. It can be angst, smut, fluff, crack, hardcore porn, a mix of all. You can also choose a character from the list below and I shall do an ___ x Reader. or a ship, if you'd prefer. or a mix. it's all good! Keep the prompt short and open. Ie: do not write me a fic and ask me to write you a fic of the fic. so.. more like..

"Tell Me About... Jensen and me in a submarine with cheese wiz and a porn mag"

But not that, bc why. I may just do that one on my own bc Why. Anyway- Send it in. And if it sparks a drabble, I shall give it to you. (please do not send gifs with it. they clog things up) You may also get a full fic if you're lucky ;)

Characters and Ships I will write with:

Jensen Ackles / Dean Winchester, Soldier Boy, Tom Hanniger

Misha Collins / Castiel

Jeffrey Dean Morgan / John Winchester, Negan

TWD- Rick Grimes, Daryl

Chris Evans / Steve Rogers

Sebastian Stan / Bucky, Sebastian Stan, Sebastian Stan

Joe Goldberg - YOU (tv)

The Magicians- Quentin, Eliot, Penny, The whole gang. All of them.

Criminal Minds - Spencer Reid, Aaron Hotchner

SHIPS: Cockles/Destiel, StuckyxReader (who am I?), Queliot

I can't remember who I write for omg. just ask... you know what I'm into.

If you're unsure of a character or just wanna ask - send me a DM. I'm always around :)

LET'S DO THIS!

[nocapesdahling]

Life Eternal

Helmut Zemo x F! Reader

My Masterlist

Prequel to Cousin Helmut (Can be read as a stand-alone)

Summary: Helmut Zemo is an Addams. When an Addams falls in love, they fall fast and they fall hard. After the loss of his Heike, he never thought he would love again. Until he saw you.

Rating: M (18+, Minors DNI please)

Warnings/Tags: Smut - Unprotected piv sex; Implied sexual content; Crossover; Darker Zemo; Darker Reader; These two are made for each other; Artist! Reader;  Canon-typical Addams Family elements, such as casual discussions of and attitudes towards murder, violence, and poison; Macabre; Possessive Behavior; Love at first sight; Implied Dom/Sub; Implied breeding kink; One mention of exhibitionism; Brief mention of bondage; Some references to polyamory; Slight Canon divergence

Word Count: 9.1k

A/N: It only took a year, but it’s finally time for the long-promised Cousin Helmut prequel. This is officially my longest one shot I’ve posted, which I’m rather proud of and I really hope you enjoy. Have a very happy Halloween!

Being in prison had given Helmut a lot of time to think and to remember. He didn’t have much choice. He was alone with his thoughts and there wasn’t much else to do in solitary confinement, besides working out, sleeping, or reading books and newspapers, so he spent his time reminiscing.

One of his first childhood memories was of his mother. They were sitting eating breakfast, which Oeznik brought them — Oeznik had been his mother’s companion for as long as Helmut could remember and he had always looked the same. 

Helmut watched her add something, which he later realized was arsenic that morning though sometimes she favored cyanide instead, to her tea, stir it, and breathe it in with contentment. His mother’s dark red lips curved into a small smile that contrasted with her dark hair and black dress. His father was out of town that weekend, so she was wearing her favorite hemlock berry lipstick that she said made her lips tingle. She only wore it when his father was traveling because it was too strong of a poison for his resistance levels and his father could never resist kissing his mother, poison lipstick or not, so there would have been some unfortunate trips to the hospital.  

Helmut was a child and wanted to do everything his parents did, especially his mother, so he asked for some for his juice. His mother laughed, her chuckle low and mesmerizing, before smiling at him.

“Oh, my Helmut. You are not ready for arsenic yet. I’ve only just started you on corn cockle, my little monster. We have to work our way up to arsenic, cyanide, and belladonna. Now drink your juice, and we will learn more about the Plague. We’ve reached the picture portion of the lesson, isn’t that exciting?”

He smiled and eagerly drank his juice. He loved his mother’s lessons. It was only later in life that he realized most children were not served poison by their parents and that most mothers did not teach their children about the Plague, about wounds, or how to use all manner of weapons before they reached the age of 10. Fencing and swordplay were always his favorite, and he enjoyed practicing with his Uncle Gomez whenever he and his Aunt Morticia came to visit.  However, his mother was not a typical mother. She was an Addams and that made all the difference.

Helmut Zemo was only half Addams and it was a well-kept secret in Sokovia. The Addams Family had a bit of a reputation throughout Europe, and his mother had wanted him to keep his heritage hidden as something of a trump card. 

His father was a normal man and a Baron of Sokovia, who fell in love with a beautiful woman that he met at his parents’ funeral. As his mother told it, she had been on vacation and after visiting some family buried in the graveyard and having a lovely séance, she had seen the funeral and decided to attend. She loved funerals and didn’t want to miss what looked like a delightfully unhappy one. As his father told it, even if she had been uninvited, she had bewitched him at first sight. He had fallen madly in love and asked her to marry him within weeks. To the surprise of the rest of the Addams clan, she accepted and Helmut was born a few years later.

Looking back, his childhood had been idyllic, full of mayhem and his mother’s lessons in how to be an Addams. He only wished there had been more murder involved. He excelled at his mother’s lessons and wanted to put them into action, so when it came time to choose a career, he chose the military without a second thought. It was expected of him as a Baron’s son to serve in some capacity, but he went outside the norm and chose to join a covert kill squad after training. It let him indulge his Addams’s side in the best ways. The danger excited him, giving him a thrill when he almost died and even more so when he killed. He enjoyed what he did, relishing in the thrill of the hunt and the joy of leaving no survivors.

Then, he met Heike. She was a doctor at the hospital, where he brought an injured member of his squad, and when he met her she was covered in blood. It appealed to his baser instincts with the smear on her cheek being particularly lovely in contrast to her eyes. She had been and still was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. While Helmut’s last name might have been Zemo, he was an Addams through and through; when an Addams fell in love, they fell hard and they fell fast and he was no different.

He still chuckled to himself when he thought of Heike’s reaction to his gifts of flowers after they started dating. It took him a while to realize that she wanted roses with flowers still attached. His mother had always cut the blooms off and Helmut preferred them that way too. The thorns were the best and most dangerous part of a rose after all. Yet just as his father had learned to gift his mother bouquets of poison plants, Helmut learned to gift Heike bouquets of actual flowers.

They married within the year and Carl followed soon after. It was quickly apparent to Helmut that Carl was normal. He had not inherited the Addams constitution, traits, or ability to cheat death, so for the sake of his son he reined in his Addams side and played at being a normal man, a normal father. And he was good at it, even as it chafed at him. His mother had prepared him for this too. He always excelled in his childhood acting lessons. If he wished sometimes that he could go commit a nice murder, then he stopped himself with the thought that Heike needed him. That Carl needed him.

Then, they died along with his father. They went where he could not follow, at least not yet. His mother had been on a “trip” at the time, hunting down a serial killer, so she was not there to protect them. To save them. He knew that he had only survived Sokovia because he was an Addams and that his family did not have that benefit. Oh, how he wished they had.

He called his mother with the news, knowing that she would help him in what he had resolved to do, and let his facade disappear. It was time to let his Addams side out to play again, the side that relished violence and was good at it — the one that would help him get his revenge, no matter the cost. Hiding did not matter anymore, not when you lost practically everyone you cared about all at once.

His mother helped him with his plans, which came to fruition in exactly the way he hoped. Well, besides his death of course. He had been ready to die, ready to join Heike six feet under in a matching coffin. He wanted to rot next to her for all eternity, but he would face the keen torment of living for a while longer it seemed, biding his time in prison.

He had a visitor today. It had been so long and as he opened his eyes and caught sight of the Winter Soldier, he smiled a devilish grin that he hid using the shadows and began to speak. Longing…

His escape from jail was exhilarating . It was nice to stretch his legs again and engage in some casual violence, though the guard had barely put up a fight. How disappointing. He wondered what his Uncles would make of it. After all, he hadn’t had to kill anyone or set off any explosions. He left the guard alive to avoid suspicion and to curtail the scale of the manhunt for him, and he had a feeling that Uncle Fester would deduct points for that.

It was a pleasure to see Oeznik again, looking the same as the last time he had seen him. Helmut had never asked Oeznik what he was because it wasn’t his business, though he had ruled out whatever Lurch was. Oeznik had served his mother and now Helmut faithfully for many years and he knew that he would continue to do so for many more, so what did it matter?

----

Ah, Madripoor. He had missed it, the people, the lights, and most of all the aura of danger that permeated the air. This was his kind of place. He only wished that they had been there for pleasure and not on a mission. Surely, there were plenty of people here that no one would miss. Oh well, he would do what was necessary. Having any additional fun would draw both Sam and James’s suspicions.

Sharon Carter and her stately residence had been a surprise, but now that they were here he was determined to enjoy the party. It had been too long. Prison had kept him from his vices, and now it was time to indulge.

He surveyed the room from the bar, feeling the presence of James and Sam alongside him. He would start with a drink, then maybe a dance. If he were lucky, then he’d get to use the knife he’d pilfered from the plane. He had plenty of practice blending in and even as every fiber of him wanted to cause “trouble”, he would resist it. Somewhat. A little trouble wouldn’t hurt anyone. Much. His mother had chosen his middle name of Tribulatio for a reason.

But then as he glanced towards the artwork, Helmut Zemo spotted you and froze. He never thought he would feel this way again, not after Heike, but there you were in all your glory and beauty and he fell. He fell as an Addams did — hard, fast, and with no regrets.

He began to approach you and as his Uncle Gomez’s words ran through his mind on how to woo a woman, his walk turned into more of a prowl and people unconsciously got out of his way — scattering like prey in the presence of a predator.

You hadn’t wanted to attend this party but Sharon Carter, one of your few friends in Madripoor, had insisted. She thought that you spent too much time working and not enough time having fun, so here you were.  You would rather have been home, preparing for the week ahead or painting, but you figured that since you were here that you might as well admire the artwork. Your attention had been drawn by one of your favorite paintings, Artemisia Gentilischi’s Judith Beheading Holofernes, which was supposed to be in The Uffizi at the moment. The music and the other guests had faded away as you stood entranced by the painting and its use of chiaroscuro.

You almost jumped when you heard an accented voice speak close to you, “A beautiful painting, isn’t it?”

You turned your head to look at the man next to you, only to stop short. He was more handsome than you’d expected him to be and now that you were looking at him you couldn’t seem to stop, taking in the details of his clothes and the angles of his face until you met his amused eyes. He smirked at you, having noticed your appraisal, and tilted his head towards the painting.

You cleared your throat. “Yes, I’ve always thought so, though I don’t find many others who do. Many find it too gory for their tastes.”

He turned his face away from you to look at the painting, giving you a view of his profile, which was just as handsome as the rest of him. You wished you had your sketchpad with you in order to capture this man and his features. You hadn’t felt this inspired in ages.

“I find the moment that the artist has captured and the way she has depicted the women compelling. They are front and center, determined, strong, and in control. They have chosen to do this deed and are unafraid of getting bloody while doing so. They are powerful.” His voice seemed to linger over the word bloody.

You nodded along, listening to him voice what you had always thought out loud. “Exactly. You do not find it frightening? It was considered so for its time.”

He turned back to look at you, stopping his scrutiny of the painting, and smiled with a small upturn of his lips. “It is often the so-called horrors of life that are the most arresting. It is a beautifully depicted scene, but not as beautiful or bewitching as you.”

“As me?” Your voice showed the surprise you felt.

“I found myself enchanted by you from across the room and knew I had to approach you. That I would not rest until I had.” He stepped a bit closer to you as he spoke and you enjoyed his increasing proximity.

You stared at the man in shock. If this had been anyone else, then you would have found his comments and closeness a bit creepy. Yet for some reason, you didn’t. You found him as compelling as he apparently found you.

“I find you handsome as well. Striking. It’s been difficult to keep my eyes off you.” Your voice was hesitant as you spoke because you weren’t sure how he would take that. This was new territory for you and not at all what you had expected for tonight.

“Perfect. Then, you feel it too.” He smiled and stepped closer, while reaching out a hand. “Would you dance with me, draga?”

You placed your hand in his and were unsurprised to feel slight gun calluses. This was Madripoor after all. You could tell that he either wore gloves while handling a gun or it had been some time. You knew you were one of the few, who didn’t have them, at least not from a gun. Knives left different calluses. You had refined your skills with a knife after arriving in Madripoor. The streets were dangerous and you needed a way to protect yourself that was more dangerous than attempting to stab someone with a paintbrush. In your old life, you never would have considered that you would enjoy the feeling of a knife in your hand so much.

“Ah, but before we do, I have gotten ahead of myself. I am Helmut Zemo, my beauty. And you are?”

You were embarrassed to think that you hadn’t even thought about exchanging names, too consumed by his presence. You gave him yours and enjoyed the way it sounded in his voice as he repeated it.

“Now, we may proceed.” Helmut was smirking as he gestured towards the dancing crowd and he seemed to relish in your laugh.

You walked hand and hand to the dance floor, where he proceeded to make you laugh harder than you had in a long time with his moves. He then pulled you into what you vaguely recognized as a waltz without a care that it didn’t match the music and was causing the people around you to stop and stare. He was going to be Trouble. You followed his lead and forgot about everything else.

After you danced, you walked the gallery together, looking at the paintings and talking about anything and everything. None of the paintings prompted a similar amount of attention from either of you as Judith Beheading Holofernes, but that was to be expected. Nothing was as arresting, when your attention was fully devoted to Helmut and his to you.

As he watched you smile at him, Helmut spoke to you about what he had done to avenge his family, watching your face change to a serious and thoughtful expression. He wanted you to go into this with your eyes open. He also wanted to impress you, even if most people would not have been impressed by murder and arson, but he couldn’t help but want to show off. He knew the Addams side of his family would have been impressed.

He expected you to be horrified as any normal person would be. He was prepared for you to run from him. As though he would let you. He did not expect the look of intrigue that came over your face. It was not difficult to read and he wanted to see that expression directed at him again. He told you why he did it of course — about Sokovia, Carl, and Heike — and you understood and admired his resolve. He had done it for love and he had succeeded. What was more attractive than a competent man, who would do anything for his loved ones? What would he do for you if you were counted among their number?

You told him more about you and how you ended up in Madripoor. It had been because you had no choice, not really. Due to the Blip, you had nowhere else to go and you felt like you needed to be there because that was where the real art was. It was how you’d become friends with Sharon, visiting her gallery and falling into conversations with her about the different pieces. Yet something else about Madripoor had drawn you in and once you were in its claws, you couldn’t have escaped even if you wanted to. Which you hadn’t.

Helmut devoted his full attention to you, admiring the way your eyes lit up while discussing the art and your fascination with the city before responding.  “I understand the appeal of a city like Madripoor. I do. The savagery is beautiful here. People are in touch with their base natures in a way that I find compelling.” Here Helmut paused and grasped both your hands in his and looked deep into your eyes. It almost felt like he had hypnotized you with both his eyes and his voice. It wasn’t hypnosis per se, but his mother had taught him a few skills to gain and keep someone’s attention that he’d never forgotten. “But would you leave here? Would you come with me?”

“Come with you? We’ve only just met, Helmut. I don’t…” You lost your train of thought as you looked at him. It didn’t feel like you’d only just met. It felt like you had known each other for lifetimes.

“My beloved, does that matter? You know me and I know you. I do not want another.” Here he paused and pulled you closer, your breasts pressing against his chest. You wondered if he could feel your nipples through your dress, and had conflicting desires where you both hoped he couldn’t and that he could. That he would touch you there in front of everyone. In ways you had never let anyone else do in public. There was no room for self-consciousness, not with a man like Helmut. Everything he did seemed to arouse and attract you. Like a true apex predator.  

He swayed the two of you to music he must have been hearing in his own head and whispered in your ear — his voice rough and deep, “I have been yours since I first saw you across the room, admiring one of my favorite paintings. I do not know what spell you have cast over me, but I belong to you now. Are you mine?”

You pulled back slightly to scrutinize him. You ran your eyes over his attire and his body then finally his face, meeting his deep brown eyes.

What did you know about this man, really? That he was handsome and that you could listen to his voice for hours. That he had killed before and was likely to do so again. You only knew what he had told you since you met, but you couldn’t imagine never seeing him again. Something told you that you had found a kindred spirit. A man who wouldn’t shy away from your skills with a knife or your more gruesome paintings — you wondered what he would think of the ones where you used some rather unconventional pigments. A man that you wouldn’t mind belonging to as long as he was yours in return. He had already assured you with his words and actions that he was, and you in turn wanted to be his. And his alone.

While you deliberated, he continued to watch you patiently.

“Yes, my villain. I am yours.” The nickname had come out without thought, but it seemed fitting.

His face looked exultant for a moment, almost mad with ecstasy before he hid whatever that had been back behind his calm mask. It would have made anyone else have doubts and regrets for their decision, but you — it only made you more enthralled by him.

“My love.” He leaned in and kissed you passionately in a way that made you feel like he was trying to devour you, to consume you. And you wanted to do the same to him as you reciprocated and lost yourself in the kiss. It could have gone on for hours, the outside world with its loud music and party goers having faded away, when you heard a throat clear awkwardly behind you.

“Zemo. Zemo. Zemo!” The voice sounded impatient.

As Helmut pulled away from you with reluctance, even as you tried to pull him back, you wondered how long the man had been trying to get his attention. For all you knew, it could have been hours. Even after that one kiss, you knew that you wanted to spend the rest of your life kissing Helmut Zemo. You didn’t want to let him go. Ever.

He kept his hand in yours as he turned you both to face the other man, who stood behind him with a look of both impatience and confusion on his face. He caught your scrutiny and gave you an awkward smile, even as you caught the veiled suspicion in his eyes.  You smiled back and gave him a casual little wave, acting as though you hadn’t been caught kissing an escaped convict.

“I’m sorry to interrupt.” He didn’t sound that sorry, but he stepped closer and stuck out a hand. “I’m Sam.”

You shook it and told him your name, and watched as Sam lost his smile when he turned to Helmut. “Zemo, we have to go. Sharon found who we were looking for.”

Helmut nodded, though he was sure that he looked somewhat exasperated as he willed you to stay in front of his body for a few more moments while he calmed himself down. “I’ll be there shortly.”

“You better not take too long, Zemo.” Sam’s tone was full of warning as he addressed Helmut before he turned to you and smiled again, even as confusion on why you had been kissing Zemo continued to show in his eyes. “It was nice meeting you.”

Sam walked over to where you could see Sharon and a man whose hard stare was focused on Zemo, and was that a metal hand? How fascinating. You turned to face Helmut, knowing this was goodbye. At least for now.

“I’m afraid that I must go, draga. But I will call you before we leave and you will meet us, yes?”

You nodded as you gestured for his phone, inputting your number and thinking of what you wanted to take with you from your small apartment.

“Yes, I’ll meet you at the airport. I just want to pack some things up first. Don’t take too long, Helmut.” Your tone turned teasing at the end. “I won’t wait forever.”

He smirked at you and kissed you again, and as you pulled him closer the effect you had on him was obvious. The same effect he had on you, so it was nice to know that it was reciprocal.

“If I am not there, then Oeznik will take care of you. You can trust him with your life. Goodbye, my love.”

“See you soon, my villain. My Helmut.”

He gave you one last lingering look that promised things to come and went to join his companions. You watched them leave the party, giving Sharon and Sam a wave and cheerfully smiling at the stoic man with the metal arm, who was still staring at you as they left. You blew Helmut a kiss and watched him smile, an actual smile this time, before walking away. That was just as nice a view from the back as it was from the front.

You roused yourself from your small daydream of seeing Helmut’s body and especially his butt unclothed and left the party, knife in hand.  You never knew who you would encounter on the way home in Madripoor and you had a date tomorrow that you were not going to miss.

You arrived at the airport and were met by a man, waiting outside of what you assumed was Helmut’s private plane, on the tarmac. Oeznik seemed to be a wonderful person, who had only fond things to say about Helmut. Now as you got settled into one of the comfortable plane seats, all you had to do was wait.

You’d taken out your sketch pad and were drawing Helmut from memory when you heard men’s voices bickering back and forth with Helmut’s accented voice standing out to you with more familiarity than it should have. He was here. As they entered the plane, you ignored Sam and the man who had been staring at you last night in favor of focusing on Helmut. He looked tired, but no worse for wear. As he laid eyes on you, they lit up in a way that neither of the others seemed to notice.

“You came. My beloved.” He stepped closer as if to embrace you. He smelled like fire. You stepped closer in return, but were interrupted as you went to answer.

“Who the hell is she, Zemo? Why is she here?” The voice came from the man you had yet to hear speak.

Zemo reluctantly faced him, who was still staring at you. Sam had already settled into a plane seat and was looking at you as well, though he too looked confused about why you were here.

“She’s with me, James, and will be accompanying us to our next destination. I vouch for her.” Helmut’s voice sounded proud when he said she’s with me and it gave you a thrill to hear it. You were with him now. His tone begged James to contradict him.

“This isn’t a vacation, Zemo. Why is she here?” James’s voice was hard and he was still staring at you, his blue eyes intense.

Sam also spoke up, “Your vouching for her isn’t likely to make us trust her, Zemo.”

By now, Helmut had settled himself in the seat next to yours and grasped your hand seemingly without a thought. He went to speak and you squeezed his hand before speaking up yourself, “I needed to get out of Madripoor, James. It was not safe for me there and Helmut was gracious enough to offer to help me. Aren’t you heroes? Isn’t helping people your job?”

You had thought Sam looked familiar last night, even without the wings and goggles, so you’d looked him up online and figured out that he was the Falcon. James also had to be some kind of hero if they were traveling together and based on his dislike of Helmut and what Helmut had told you last night, there was some history there. Either way, a little manipulation never hurt anyone.

Based on Helmut’s tightened grasp of your hand, you might have been a bit too blatant but what could you do? What had been said couldn’t be taken back.

James continued to stare at you before finally settling into a seat. “It’s Bucky.” His voice sounded resigned.

Sam spoke up, “Bucky, give it a rest. We can’t bring her back now and we can’t just leave her here on the tarmac, not with everyone coming after us. We have to go.” He then nodded at you. “And if she needs help, then she needs help.”

You knew that both Sam and Bucky would be watching you. You would do the same in their place. It was a good thing that you had nothing but the best of intentions. At the moment.

Everyone settled into their seats and began to talk about what they’d discovered in Madripoor. You tuned them out and focused on Helmut’s thumb that was caressing your hand. You felt him lean closer to whisper in your ear.

“Well played, draga. Though a bit heavy handed on the manipulation. Don’t worry, I’ll help you refine your techniques.”

You leaned your head on his shoulder and whispered back, “I look forward to it, my Hel.” You got comfortable and with the scent of smoke and something uniquely Helmut in your nose, you fell asleep.

Helmut breathed in the smell of your hair as he told Oeznik to set the plane’s course for Riga. He was glad you were here, that you were with him. You would not be leaving him again. Not if he had anything to say about it.

You woke as you felt the plane descend, your head still on Helmut’s shoulder.

You lifted it and turned to pull up the window shade to look outside. “Where are we, Hel?”

“Riga. It’s the next stage of our endeavor, and I have a place that we will be staying.”

You turned to face him, noticing that it looked like he hadn’t slept. You decided not to mention it. “You have a place here?”

“I used to come here when I was young with my parents. My mother in particular was fond of the city, though if it has fallen into some disrepair like I expect, then I believe she would be even more fond of it now.”

You filed away the fact that his mother was still alive for later. He stood up. You hadn’t even noticed the plane landing as you listened to him speak. You loved his voice. He offered you a hand and helped you stand.

“I believe you will like it here, draga. There is a bathtub that I hope we can put to good use.” With that, he smirked at you and you laughed even as you couldn’t help but anticipate that very scenario.

----

Helmut watched your face as you entered the apartment behind him and Sam. You had taken everything in, but your eyes kept coming back to the stained glass windows. Understandable, those had always been one of his favorite parts of this apartment. As he directed Sam to one of the bedrooms and moved towards the room he always used when he stayed here, his last glimpse was of you stepping closer to the windows and pulling your sketch pad out of your bag.

He settled everything in his room and stepped out. “I’m afraid there aren’t enough bedrooms for all four of us to have our own, my beloved.” His voice was teasing because while you’d be able to step into the hallway and see that he was telling the truth — both you and he knew that he wanted you in his room and in his bed. Nowhere else.

“There aren’t?” You turned to face him and tilted your head to the side with a grin on your face. “What a shame. Whoever shall I share with? Should I ask Bucky?” You paused and let your grin become even more mischievous, almost devilish in a way that appealed to Helmut more than he would admit out loud. He was pretending to be somewhat normal after all, though he hoped one day that there would be no pretending necessary. At least not with you. “Or is Sam the better option? He seems to like me.”

He let a growl escape as he stepped closer, cupping your face in his hand and kissing you. The pressure of his lips against yours was light before increasing due to your eager response. His lips shifted into a small smirk that you could feel against yours as you opened your mouth to his.

His voice when he murmured your name was deep, causing you to let out a soft moan as his hands slipped down to grasp your butt, pulling you closer. You bit his lip teasingly, first lightly then harder causing him to let loose another growl and for his eyes to go wild as he pulled back. “Don’t tease me, draga. You would not like what I would do to Sam if I thought you had even the slightest interest in him.” He kissed you again before pulling away. “I would kill for you, my beauty. And to keep you. Just as I would die for you. And I would do it all with a smile on my face.

You shivered and tried to pull yourself together because each kiss with this man got better every time. That was also the hottest thing anyone had ever said to you. He was so beautiful to you and he got more beautiful by the minute as he showed himself to be more dangerous.

As Helmut began to fill the tub, you let your eyes rove over the bathroom and your attention was caught by the intricate tiles on the walls before you heard clothes begin to drop to the floor behind you.

You turned your head and watched as he settled into the tub, noting that the reality of his body including his butt, was even better than all your imaginings.

He caught you looking and chuckled, his voice husky, before smirking. “Well, aren’t you going to join me? There’s more than enough room for two.”

You thought that might have been the first time you heard him laugh and you wanted to hear more of it, especially in this context. You sat down to pull off your boots, knowing that he hadn’t taken his eyes off you.

After taking your time and feeling the intensity of his gaze as you removed each item of clothing with deliberate slowness, you approached the tub and looked into his eyes. They were dark with want and an emotion you weren’t ready to name.

It wasn’t the largest tub in the world, but as he helped you enter it you decided it didn’t matter. It would only allow you to be closer to him. As you settled into the tub, your back to his chest, you sighed in contentment. You relaxed together, feeling his warmth against your back and the muscles of his thighs under yours.

Helmut began to run a washcloth over your body, taking his time to caress your arms and hands. He washed your stomach, ignoring your squirming that you couldn’t quite contain. You closed your eyes in bliss as he reached your breasts, lingering on them a bit more than needed to get them clean. You felt hot and involuntarily leaned back even closer to him, feeling him hard and thick against the small of your back.

You gasped, “Hel…”

He continued to caress you. You could feel his breath against your ear, “Yes, draga? You teased me and now I get to tease you. Quid pro quo.” He was attempting to sound unaffected, but you could hear the rasp in his voice and you felt just how affected he was against you. He continued to run the washcloth over your stomach before dipping it in between your legs and replacing it with his fingers. He circled his thumb over your clit and you gasped, rocking back against him without a care if water fell on the floor. It would serve him right.

You turned and kissed him, straddling him and running your hands through his hair as his fingers worked over you and inside you. He gave as good as he got as you rocked back and forth on his lap, pulling  your hips down harder and bucking up against you. You couldn’t take it anymore, crying out and clenching on his fingers — you needed him inside of you and you wanted to feel it. His length was hard and hot in your hand and as you grasped him and sunk down on him with a moan, he groaned.  

“You’re so tight. And wet. All for me.” His pupils were blown wide and his hair had fallen in front of his eye, causing you to reach out a hand and push it back. Your thumb brushed across his cheekbone tenderly and he reached up to grasp your hand, pressing a kiss to your palm. You smiled at him and laughed as more water fell onto the floor as you both began to move again. He laughed too before speaking, “Draga, we must be quiet. Sam is right outside. Do you think you can do that?” His voice was rough and close to a growl.

You nodded even as your eyes began to close, feeling him thrust up into you as you rolled your hips.

Helmut grasped your chin. “No, you will look at me. I want to see your eyes — every expression on your face as you come for me.”

You lost count of how many times you fell apart. Let’s just say that you hoped Sam was not too close to the bathroom because your endeavor to keep quiet failed more than once.

----

You laid in what was left of the bath, lazy in your satisfaction, watching Helmut tend to his hair while naked. You looked at the small half moon marks and scratches your fingers had left from digging into his back with no little amount of possessiveness. He was Yours. You had wanted to mark him and you knew he had wanted it too. After all, you had marks of your own. Just as you were His.

He smiled at you in the mirror and turned. “I will wear them as a badge of honor and hope for more in the future.” His eyes were alight with his own satisfaction and possessiveness as he took in the marks he had left on your body in return through the now clear water. “Beautiful, draga.”

Helmut pulled on a robe, before offering you a towel to dry yourself with. Then, it was his turn to watch you.

“I would do this every day. With you.” His statement had the tone of a question. Did you feel the same?

His robe gaped at the top, leaving his chest hair and necklace exposed and you already wanted him again, even knowing that you didn’t have time right now. Sam was outside and Bucky would be back soon.

You had taken too long already.

You turned to him, dropping the towel and stepping closer. You watched his eyes linger on your body, before focusing on your face.

“If every day is like today, then I’m going to want you all the time.”

As he helped you into a matching robe to his, he brushed his thumb over your nipple teasingly before whispering in your ear, “Oh draga, we didn’t even have a bed. Imagine what it would be like in our bed… The things I would like to do to and for you.”

You tied the robe and turned to kiss him, which he cut short. “Come on, my beloved. We musn’t keep Sam and James waiting.”

With that he strode out the door in his robe, towel in hand.

He was so dramatic and you loved it.

You took more time coming out of the bathroom, changing into an extra pair of jeans and a sweater that you’d left on the side. Not everyone had Helmut’s uncaring attitude when it came to wearing a robe in front of strangers. Then again, it was his house.

You exited the bathroom, only to see Helmut rummaging through the kitchen cabinets and rolling his eyes at something that Bucky had said. You waved in greeting to Bucky and gave Sam a smile before focusing back on Helmut, who apparently had killed a man in Madripoor.

Typical. He’d probably looked good doing it too. And did he have a cookie on his finger? This man.

You shook your head and settled into one of the chairs at the counter, watching Hel pull out what looked like candy as the men talked about Sam’s Titi and a funeral for someone important in the community.

Little did you know that Helmut was making sure that this was the non-poisonous Turkish Delight. His mother had liked to make the candy and fill it with all types of different poisons. It had been a game for him as a child to try and guess the poison. By the time he was teenager, he won the game every time. The cyanide Turkish Delight was particularly good with a quite enjoyable flavor. While it was tempting to have you try one of the poisonous ones and begin your acclimation to poisons now, it wasn’t the time. There would be time for that later.

The men discussed heading out into the city and seeing if they could find where this funeral was going to be. You knew even as you ate one of Helmut’s so-called irresistible Turkish Delights that you weren’t invited. That was fine. You’d rather do some sketching anyway.

Helmut had changed back into his clothes, coat included. You loved that coat and were looking forward to getting to try it on for yourself, preferably with nothing on underneath. He kissed you and caressed your cheek before bidding you goodbye.

You watched them leave, worrying about Helmut, yet looking forward to some time alone to draw. As you settled on the couch, beginning to focus on the contours of the skull you were drawing in loving detail, after the excitement of the last few days it didn’t surprise you when your eyes began to close.

----

You awoke with a jerk as you heard what sounded like glass hitting the wall. You sat up, head foggy only to see Bucky facing Helmut whose back was to you. Based on their postures, that must have been Bucky who threw something.

You went to stand and watched as Sam deescalated the situation, even as Bucky and Helmut were still staring at each other.

You held in a laugh at “ the stupid head tilt thing” because you knew Helmut wouldn’t like that he had any tells, but the way Sam phrased it was funny. And also accurate.

Sam left the room and Bucky walked away after saying no to the cherry blossom tea, leaving you and Helmut alone. It was then that you spoke up.

“I’d like some cherry blossom tea if you’re offering, my villain.”

Helmut turned to you. “I am sorry we woke you, draga. Yes, of course.” He poured you a cup and presented it to you. “Here cherry blossom tea for my sweet blossom. Or should that be my thorny blossom?”

You laughed, glad that you hadn’t drank any tea yet, before taking a sip. “Really, Hel? That wasn’t as smooth as normal.”

He joined you on the couch. “I thought you might need a laugh. As do I. Interacting with the children brought back memories.”

You watched him before reaching out to take his hand in yours. “Of your son?”

At his nod, you continued, “Tell me about him.”

He cleared his throat and you were prepared for him to turn away and leave, but to your surprise he spoke, “Carl was… Carl was good. In a way that I have not been nor will ever be. He loved the outdoors and he loved to play video games. He was a good boy and a good son, and I wish that I had gotten to see what he would become.”

His hand clenched tightly around yours, almost to the point of pain, but you said nothing.

“And your wife?”

“Heike was beautiful, both inside and out. When I first met her, I thought I would never see anything more arresting. Her bloody hands as she stitched up my men. Until I saw you, standing in front of Judith Slaying Holofernes. I thought Heike was the love of my life and though she still is and always will be, I have realized that we may be lucky enough to have more than one. She would have loved you. Just as I do. I’m excited for when you’ll meet in the afterlife. All three of us together will be glorious.”

You disregarded him talking about your potential deaths for another time. “You love me?”

He turned his head to look into your eyes, “I have loved you since I first saw you, but do understand if it’s too early for you to know your feelings.”

You didn’t hesitate, “I love you too, my Hel.”

The three men returned from the funeral and you ran towards where Helmut was being supported by both Bucky and Sam.

“What happened?” You looked to Sam as you helped them situate Helmut on the couch.

“Walker happened. He hit him in the head with the shield.”

You moved to the kitchen and ran cold water over a washcloth for Helmut’s forehead.

“And he’s your Captain America?”

Bucky scoffed, “He’s not my Captain America. He shouldn’t even have the shield in the first place.”

Sam sighed, “Here we go again.”

You tuned out their bickering as you tended to Helmut. He had been fine this morning, telling you that he loved you, and now he was hurt. What if he never told you that he loved you again? You watched him carefully and were surprised to see his eyes fluttering. You leaned closer and saw him smirk and put a finger to his lips. You smiled. He wasn’t as bad as you thought. He was going to be okay.

For his part, Helmut had been knocked out but had woken up about halfway back to the apartment. His cousin, Wednesday, hit much harder than John Walker. Even Pubert hit harder than John Walker. This injury was nothing to an Addams but he was planning to play it up for as long as possible, especially if it would get Sam and James off his back for a few hours and give him a little time to plan his escape. Well, his and yours. He would not be leaving you behind for any reason.

----

Walker burst into the room, causing you to move closer to Helmut who had stood up with his whiskey still in hand. You didn’t want to take your eyes off of Walker, the threat in the room, but you couldn’t help but let them admire Helmut in his shoulder holsters. He looked good. As always.

You watched Sam stand up for Helmut and listened to Walker, who unsurprisingly made you angry with his attitude. This was the man who had hit your Hel in the head with a shield? What an asshole. You stepped closer to Walker, reaching to pull the knife that you always kept in your boot. No one was looking at you, too consumed in the interactions between Sam and Walker. Or so you thought. You felt a hand on your arm and Helmut gently pulled you back, shaking his head as you looked at him and motioning for you to come closer. He offered you some of his whiskey, smirking as you shook your head no. He wanted to pull you into his arms and press a kiss to your forehead, but resisted. He knew you both might need your hands free for what was to come.

It was enjoyable standing next to Helmut as he casually sipped his whiskey and you watched avidly as the Dora Milaje fought Walker. They were amazing. As Bucky and Sam joined the fight, you glanced at Helmut to see if he was enjoying this as much as you were. He had an interesting look on his face and as he put down his drink and grabbed your hand, you had a feeling that you knew where this was going. He led you to the bathroom and had you step in front of him as he subtly closed and locked the bathroom doors.

“Time to escape, my villain?” You whispered as you watched him fiddle with the tub.

“Time to escape, draga. It should be just here. Ah, yes.”

The tub began to move, leaving a sewage grate exposed in the ground. You helped him lift it and each of you went through one by one. Helmut helped you down the ladder and kept hold of your hand once in the tunnel.

“Come, my love. I have a place we can go.”

“You always have a place we can go, my villain.”

You enjoyed the time that you got to spend alone with Helmut in one of his family’s properties, not far from where Sokovia had fallen — even with the knowledge that it couldn’t possibly last. That Sam or Bucky or both would eventually catch up with you and send your Hel back to prison. It had been blissful and satisfying here as though you and Helmut were in your own little world, cut off from everything.

You had never known another partner, who could satisfy you the way that Helmut could. You had lost count of the variety of different ways and places that he had made you come. He anticipated your needs in a way no one else had and he knew the perfect balance between pleasure and pain. He began to teach you the same and you were a diligent student, looking forward to those lessons with anticipation.

Flashback:

You were reading in the library when he stepped in, wearing one of his many robes. You knew that he did it on purpose to entice you and it got your attention as always. He sat across from you and let the robe gape open, leaving his chest exposed. You couldn’t help but stare at him, taking in the necklace and chest hair, your interest in the book lost. Helmut acted oblivious, picking up one of the books on the table and beginning to read.

You closed yours with a snap and placed it down.

“My Hel.”

He hummed absentmindedly, keeping his eyes on the book even as he hadn’t turned any pages yet. He wasn’t fooling anyone. “Yes, draga?”

“I would like to try something new today, Hel.”

“Hmm?”

“I would like you to be the one restrained this time, my villain.” You leaned in close and grasped his chin, tilting his head up. His eyes were dark. “Would you like that, darling?”

“Yes, my love. Please.” It came out as a gasp.

“Do you have everything prepared?” You assumed he did because that had to have been his intention coming into the library, looking like temptation personified, in the first place.

“Yes.” His voice was giddy with anticipation.

You smiled at him and caressed his cheek before walking away with the expectation that he would follow. He always did.

“Such a well behaved villain. You deserve a reward. Meet me in the bedroom.”

You smirked to yourself as you heard the chair hurriedly push away from the table.

End Flashback

You never wanted to give him up. You wanted to be by his side forever. In life and in death. But it was not to be. Your time together was coming to an end. Helmut would be going to the Sokovian Memorial to await Bucky’s arrival and leaving you behind.

“You will be safe here, my beloved.  No one, save Oeznik and my mother, knows of the existence of this house.”

You nodded as you let the tears that you were trying to hold in flow.

“I promise that I will see you again. Nothing shall keep me from you, even in death we will be together. Always. With my Heike too of course. She will adore you. Just as I do.”

He proceeded to give you instructions for what to do after he’d gone, which you committed to memory. You knew that while he did not want to go, he was ready to leave. If he didn’t leave now, then he didn’t know if he’d be able to do so. You kissed him desperately and as his hands grasped your waist, pulling you closer, you ground against him. He pulled back in admonishment.

“I know what you’re doing, draga. It will not work. I must go.”

Even so, he was the one to lean back in and reinitiate things. He couldn’t resist you. Not in this. By the time you were in the bedroom and Helmut was inside of you, he had forgotten why he had protested in the first place. He made desperate eye contact with you and held you close, committing every detail to memory. It was slower than normal, tender, and as you came you gasped his name. He picked up the pace and followed suit, hoping that you didn’t notice his worshipful gaze on your stomach and the hidden hope on his face.

He would never be over Carl’s death. Never. Carl was His. Yet he wanted another child with you, one that you had made together. One he hoped to teach about poisons and the best way to kill a man, just as his mother had before him. One he could introduce to his mother as an Addams, just as you now were. He wanted it with a quiet kind of desperation and a secret yearning. You would look so beautiful carrying his child.

----

You kissed him again before he left, and you didn’t make any attempt to stop your tears this time.

“Don’t cry, draga. All will be well. You will see me again soon, and I will count the days until you are once again in my arms. You won’t even have time to miss me.” His voice was teasing, but rough as he held in emotions of his own.

You humored him with a watery laugh. “Good bye, my villain. Don’t torture yourself in prison, Hel. That’s my job.”

“Oh, my love. I wouldn’t have it any other way.” He gave you one last smile before getting into the car with Oeznik behind the wheel.

You stood in the doorway until you couldn’t see the car anymore before letting yourself give into your tears. You didn't know how long you sat there sobbing, but some time later you began to carry out Helmut’s instructions. This would not be forever, not if you had anything to say about it.

It was time to take a trip to 001 Cemetery Lane and meet your new family. Something told you that you’d get along just fine.

Reblogs, comments, and likes are much appreciated. Thanks so much for reading!

A/N: This goes right into Cousin Helmut if you’d like to read the fic that started this little crossover series. Hope you all enjoyed this, and please let me know if you did! 

I do have ideas for a sequel, where the whole family breaks Zemo out of the Raft which I think would be a lot of fun. 

Many thanks to my beloved @clints-lucky-arrow​ for giving me a much needed confidence boost, for your feedback, and for beta reading 💜 And to the lovely @lafemmedezemo for being a big supporter of Zemo as an Addams since the beginning and for requesting this fic’s moodboard -- you’re both the best and ily!

My Masterlist

[thing-you-do-with-that-thing]

Tell me a story Challenge

Okay so I am doing this from my phone so it's not gonna be the fanciest of posts. The challenge is to write a story with a start, middle and end. No smut. You can allude to it but the challenge is to focus on the story and keep the characters in character.

If you want in send me an ask with the character x reader or oc or ship you wanna write for chosing from the list below and tell me if you want a picture prompt or a song prompt. Generel fics are welcome as well just tell me and what your focus character will be.

List of character/rpf/ships I accept: Dean Winchester, Castiel, John Winchester, Charlie Bradbury, Gabriel, Destiel (i accept poly with reader too), Jenneel (I accept poly with reader too), Jensen Ackles, Danneel Ackles, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Misha Collins, Cockles (but only as poly with reader)

NO WIFE HATE IS ALLOWED IN RPF!

You then write your fic. Post it before October 1st 12 pm EST - tag me @thing-you-do-with-that-thing when you do. If you finish fast you may ask for another prompt after you posted your fic if you want.

I will read and reblog with a comment and add it to a masterlist featured on my blog at the end of the challenge.

Example of ask: "Hi I wanna join you challenge writing a destiel x reader fic. Can I have a song prompt please?"

Any questions about the challenge just ask as well 😊

Have fun.

[hintsofhoney]

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#jensen ackles - 53 posts

#stranger things - 50 posts

#spn dallas - 37 posts

#series of the month - 33 posts

#the boys spoilers - 29 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#but one thing i do know is the wave of happiness and like… peace that washed over me once i realized that bi was the missing piece for me<3

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

cas and rowena roadtrip spin off when ??? (x)

1,278 notes - Posted September 24, 2022

#4

*stripping music starts playing*

jensen:

1,587 notes - Posted April 25, 2022

#3

Movie Night

Pairing(s): Steve Harrington x Reader x Billy Hargrove

Summary: You and your best friend, Steve, have a movie night planned, but things don't go the way they're supposed to when Billy shows up.

Tags: smut, threesome, degradation kink, praise kink, Billy’s an asshole, Steve is protective, Eiffel Tower, p in v, oral, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it)

Word Count: 4.7k

A/N: Don’t know where this came from, but I’m glad it did. I have a lot more in the works for Stranger Things, so keep an eye out! The ‘Are you getting fucked by stupid?’ line in this fic was directly stolen from Homelander; all credits to the writers of ‘The Boys’ for that one. Thank you to my biggest cheerleaders, @deangirl93​ and @treat-winchesterswith-kindness​, for beta-ing, I love you both to the moon and back! Hope you all enjoy the filth. 

You can also read me on Ao3! 

MAIN MASTERLIST

“I’ll fucking kill him.”

“Steve –”

“I swear to God, Y/N, I’ll murder him with my own two hands.”

Steve was pacing back and forth in your kitchen as you watched from a barstool at the counter. You didn’t particularly care that Billy had taken nude photos of you; you had the idea first, after all. But apparently he had a whole lot to say about them in the local gym’s locker room – which you also didn’t really mind – but Steve certainly did.

“The way he talked about you, like you’re just some… some thing to fuck. God, I should have laid one on him right –”

“Steve!” you yelled, pulling him out of his murder spiral. He stopped pacing and looked at you, his hands untangling from his hair – the famous Harrington hair – and returning to his pockets. 

“What?” he questioned blankly.

“Look, you’re my best friend in the whole world, alright? And I appreciate that you care so much about me, but Billy and I… he’s as much of a toy for me as I am for him.”

Steve’s face scrunched up in disgust. “Okay, gross.”

You sighed, rolling your eyes. “All I’m trying to say is it’s not a big deal, alright? It really doesn’t bother me, so don’t let it bother you.”

“Don’t let it bother me? Don’t let it – I’m not going to let anyone – not even your,” he motioned vaguely with his hands, trying to think of the right word, “boy toy, Billy fucking Hargrove, talk about you like that. And you shouldn’t either, it’s dehumanizing.”

You chuckled as you slid off the barstool and walked over to him. You placed your hands on his cheeks – they were still cold from the outside chill of the November air; he had walked to your place as soon as he had left the gym – and smiled; your forearm against his chest picking up on his rapid heartbeat. “Steve, whatever Billy has said about me cannot possibly be more dehumanizing than anything he’s already done to me.”

Anger flashed over his face before he realized you meant sexually, making him jump back in horror, his features scrunching up in repulsion. “Great Y/N, thanks for that. I’ll be sleeping again, never.”

“Yeah, ‘cause you’ll be thinking about how badly you wish you were doin’ things to me instead of Billy,” you teased, sticking your tongue out at him. You liked to think that you and Steve’s flirtatious teasing was the backbone of your friendship. It was how you two met – Steve made a comment about your ass one day after you got partnered up in science class, something like, ‘I’m glad we’re sitting next to each other now, but the view from behind isn’t too bad either’, accompanied with his classic Harrington smirk – and when you shot back with something snarky instead of dropping to your knees in the middle of the classroom like most girls would have because let’s face it – he’s Steve fucking Harrington – he decided you were different, so he stuck around. Three years later and that dynamic was still going strong, even after high school.

Steve coughed, seemingly caught off guard by your comment. “Yeah, you wish,” he bit back – his usual response when he didn’t have anything better to say. “Still good for tonight?” 

“Yes, of course. Speaking of, I’m gonna be late for work,” you sighed, checking your watch and grabbing your purse off the kitchen counter. You gave Steve a quick kiss on the cheek and patted it, adding a, “Please don’t go looking for ways to kill Billy Hargrove when I’m gone.” 

He rolled his eyes. “Yeah, alright, whatever. But I don’t like him, Y/N.”

You chuckled. “Neither do I, but man, is he a good –”

“NO! Get out! Go to work!” Steve exclaimed, ushering you towards the front door. “Go, get.” He practically shoved you out the door as you laughed, shaking your head as he slammed it shut behind you. 

“Such a prude, Harrington,” you said to no one but yourself as you made your way to your car.

See the full post

3,256 notes - Posted July 5, 2022

#2

laughing because I think that kripke and the cast genuinely thought that was gonna scar us. ive read worse while eating breakfast and holding a conversation with my mother, know your audience

3,987 notes - Posted June 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Freak

Pairing(s): Eddie Munson x F!Reader

Summary: You can't get enough of Eddie's cock and he can't get enough of you.

Tags: 18+, rough sex, pwp, p in v, smut, dirty talk, praise kink, slight degradation kink, light anal play, rough oral sex (male receiving), crying during sex, fluff

Word Count: 1.1k

A/N: Started this last night at 1 a.m. and my brain wouldn't let me sleep until I finished it, so, here it is. Also using this as my entry for @huffle-pissed’s Vibes and Valentines challenge (months late, I know, ‘cause I suck) where my prompt was, “You like it that much, huh?”, and that’ll be in bold. Thank you to my darling @makeadealwithdean for beta-ing! GIF is mine. Hope you guys enjoy!

You can also read me on Ao3!

EDDIE MUNSON MASTERLIST | STRANGER THINGS MASTERLIST | MAIN MASTERLIST

“Jesussss fuck,” Eddie lets out, low and breathy as he watches you take him all the way in your mouth. You’re on your knees, thighs spread, topless, cheer skirt still on, and Eddie reaches down to brush some hair out of your face when you look up at him through your lashes, gentle and loving, like you’re not gagging on his cock. He grabs himself at his base with one hand before pulling back, and you release him with a soft ‘pop’. “Look at me, honey — good girl — let me see —”

You already know what he wants. You open your mouth and stick your tongue out, keeping your lust-filled gaze on him.

“Fuck, you’re so perfect,” he praises, tapping his cock on your tongue. He moves to drag it along your cheek and you start to follow it, hungry for more. He chuckles deeply. “You like it that much, huh? Jesus.” 

He seems enamored with you, almost, like he can’t believe this is real life even though you’ve sucked him off plenty. You nod eagerly in response and smile with your eyes, your mouth still open and waiting for him. 

“Shit, alright. God, you’re so good, baby,” he says, pushing himself into you again. You keep your eyes on his, tears forming in the corners of yours as his cock hits the back of your throat. “So, so good. ‘Course I’m gonna give you whatever you want when you look at me like that. Shit, are those tears, sweetheart?”

You nod around his dick, and you’ve got about 30 seconds left in you before you’re gonna need some air. You can feel the first few tears running down your face, and you know all too well what it’s going to do to him.

“Fuckin’ crying ‘cause you love my cock so much? Jesus — fuck.”

You take a deep breath through your nose when he finally pulls back, because you know what’s coming. 

“I’m gonna wreck that pretty little throat of yours. Would you like that, princess?”

You nod. Fucking please.

He smirks, grabbing a fistful of your hair, and then he’s thrusting into your mouth with abandon. The room sounds like the audio to one of Eddie’s porn movies — the ones that Steve sneaks him sometimes — gagging and panting and a dirty fucking half-choke, half-gargle coming from you every time he hits the back of your throat. Your mascara’s running, and you feel like you’re on a different fucking planet when he fucks you like this. Spit’s dripping down your chin, onto your skirt, and your arousal is definitely creating a wet spot on the floor where you’re sat. 

“Jesus. Fucking. Christ.” He accentuates the Lord’s full name with three hard final thrusts, pulling out of you completely, grabbing you by your wrist and yanking you to your feet before you can even begin to process what’s happening. He bends you over the bed and flips up your skirt, dragging his cock through your folds once, twice, before entering you with ease. His hand is still in your hair, and he’s pulling your head up off the mattress as he resumes fucking you. 

You whine, turning your head to the side and opening your mouth, sticking your tongue out, because as good as he felt, you needed something in between your lips. 

“Oh, you’re gonna be the fuckin’ death of me. Fuck,” he pants, giving you what you want by placing two ringed fingers in your mouth.

You wrap your lips around them, sucking and humming contently, as he keeps thrusting into you hard and fast. 

“So fuckin’ greedy, baby. Need all your holes fuckin’ filled to shut you up, hm?” He takes his hand out of your hair and moves it down to your ass, his thumb dangerously close to your hole. “Is that what you want?” he continues. “Be fuckin’ plugged up?”

You nod frantically, managing a desperate, “mhm!” around his fingers. He slows down his thrusts for a few seconds, spitting onto your crack, dragging it down with his thumb and circling your hole. 

“Right there?” he teases, and you could start crying again with need. 

You manage something that sounds like a “please”, and it’s good enough for him. He resumes his brutal pace as he sticks his thumb in, and it’s just to the first knuckle, but it’s enough to send you into a near-delirious state. 

“Good girl,” Eddie praises, and you can hear the smirk in his voice. “So fuckin’ good at being so fuckin’ dirty.”

You let out a noise somewhere between a moan and a whine, and he sinks his thumb all the way in in response. 

“That what you wanted? Jesus, you drive me crazy with your fuckin’ whining. Shit,” he speeds up his thrusts. “I give you everything you want and you still fuckin’ whine, you notice that?”

See the full post

11,244 notes - Posted August 20, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[jayankles]

Why Not Both? Part 2

Pairing: Jensen x Reader x Misha

Word Count: 1470

Warnings: Smut (Cunnilingus, Fingering)

A/N - @thing-you-do-with-that-thing requested a porn gif drabble with cockles x reader and it turned into this; it’s probably going to become a 5-6 part series. This part focuses on Jensen and the reader. I hope you’re proud of yourself Kari.

Masterlist

Slowly waking up, you felt feather light kisses being pressed to the crook of your neck moving lower and lower on your naked body, still curled against the other man.

“I know you’re awake, Y/N/N.” Jensen’s voice had sounded behind you, a whisper from Jensen so that he wouldn’t wake Misha.

Misha hadn’t stirred, even with the squeak that left your lips as Jensen’s teeth grazed against your hip bone after he’s disappeared under the sheets behind you.

Jensen appeared again, his head popping out from between your legs under the sheet. “I told you I knew you were awake.”

“I could have just woken up because of your talented mouth. I haven’t had much experience with it, maybe you wanna get started and show me what you can do, huh?”

Shuffling away from the sleeping man next to you, you let your legs fall open to accommodate him and his shoulders. Carding your fingers through his short locks, moving the sheets so it draped below his shoulders, you waited for him to drive straight into your pussy.

Jensen’s head dropped but he didn’t go where you wanted him to go, his lips pressed against the soft flesh of your thigh. Moving up to the apex of it, his breath blew over your core before he repeated the action to your other thigh; never actually giving you the friction you needed to feel against your aching pussy.

“Jens,” you whined. “C’mon, stop teasing. I need you.”

“You had me last night, baby girl.” He drawled. “Wasn’t that enough?”

“No,” you almost cried out. “Jens, please!”

“Uh-uh, baby girl, you need to be quiet, Mish needs his beauty sleep before he can fuck you later.”

“But what about now? Why can’t I have you now?” Your fists clenched at your sides, grabbing at the mattress sheet below you. Growing frustrated, you wiggled your hips to try and get closer to Jensen but he sat back on his haunches, shaking his head at you. “Such a greedy girl, aren’t you? Misha and I are to share you, equally.”

Putting on your best pout, you rested your weight onto your elbows and forearms, trying to gain eye contact with him. “Please, just while he’s asleep.”

“Today is Misha’s day, he dibs that pretty little pussy last night. I can’t touch you but I bet you later today he’s gonna bury his thick cock inside your tight little cunt.”

“I need you and you woke me up pretty early.” Batting your eyelashes, you pleaded with him, accentuating your point with your fingers running over the small smattering of chest hair he had then threading it through the short, light brown strands of hair at the top of his head.

A little flicker in his eyes was the tell tale sign that he was at least considering what you had proposed.

“I’ll make you come, faster than ever before and then I’ll make you breakfast.”

God, he really was the perfect boyfriend, making you come then making you breakfast. If that was what life was going to be from now on with Jensen and Misha then they could sign you the hell up. You were living the life of a freaking queen with the both of them taking care of you like this.

“What about you?” You questioned him, appreciating that he wanted to get you off but concerned that you weren’t being fair.

“If it makes you feel any better, you can suck me off while I make breakfast but right now this is about you, so relax.” Jensen had answered without a beat, almost immediately after his statement he had pushed you back onto the bed and kissed your lips for a fraction of a second before he was gone again, making his descent down your body to where you needed him.

His tongue flicked over his pink, plump lip before he leaned down, attaching his tongue to your pussy, flattening it and licking a broad, thick stripe from your pussy to your clit. He sucked the sensitive bundle of nerves into his mouth, causing an almost guttural moan to escape from low in your throat. The pleasure he was giving you was too much yet too little, you didn’t know what you wanted him to do; ‘keep going’ and ‘don’t stop’ were the only words that you seemed to utter other than his name. The proof of the pleasure he was giving you was the tightening and winding you felt in your lower abdomen; you were close to coming.

Before you could fall over the precipice, Jensen, removed his lips from your clit with an obscenely loud pop. You groaned as you were denied what you so needed in that moment.

Jensen was quick though, he attached his lips to yours and groaned as you could taste yourself on him, the tangy sweetness from your pussy transferring from his tongue to yours.

Squeaking, you heard as well as felt the squelch from within you when Jensen had shoved two of his long, slender fingers inside of you, pumping them so quickly that you thought he had gained the speed to make hand vibrate; he was just that good. He was going to keep his promise of making you come faster that you ever had in your entire life, the remnants of the previous build up had lingered behind, it had caused your legs to immediately quiver and lock around his hand.

“You gonna come, baby girl? You gonna come for me?” Jensen had whispered as he pulled back to brush his own against your lips. You didn’t have time to respond to his dirty talk as the pads of his fingers found your sweet spot and you were send into a state of euphoria with a distorted scream of his name.

Although Jensen had covered your mouth with his, your cries were loud enough to wake a sleeping being, other than Misha of course. That man could sleep through an earthquake and still be out like a light.

Gasping slightly, Jensen slipped his fingers out of you and you suddenly felt to empty without them, your pussy spasming and clenching around nothing.

“How is he still asleep?” You had giggled as you came down from your high.

Jensen shrugged but brought his fingers to his mouth then sucked his fingers, licking off your juices, mewling at the taste; he was clearly enjoying it.

“Dunno, but I don’t care. I think you just served me breakfast, baby girl. You taste so good, gonna let Misha devour you later.” Jensen sultrily muttered into your ear, licking it and slightly biting it as he pulled away.

Your tongue slid across the top set of your teeth before they scraped across your bottom lip, looking up at him through your lashes, seductively. “I’m really in the mood to have a sausage for breakfast, Jens. Are you gonna feed me?”

“Baby girl, you’re getting pancakes and bacon. I’m not the one that’s giving you a sausage today.” He winked, then kissed your forehead. Getting out of the bed, Jensen grabbed a pair of his boxers and slid them up his legs and over his thighs, spinning on the ball of his foot giving you a glimpse of his pert ass before he pulled them over and the waistband settled on his hips. The sight alone making your core heat up again.

Sliding onto your stomach, you bit at the pad of your thumb, simultaneously smiling up at him. “You do squats?” You asked. “Because damn boy, that ass is damn fine.” You grinned at your cheekiness.

“I do. I have to lift all those kegs when that one,” he signalled Misha with his chin, “is up front manning the bar. Gotta do my exercise somehow.”

“Like you weren’t fit before and besides, you have me and Mish to help you with sexercise.”

“That I do, but I still have a bar to run. The sex is just a bonus.” He winked. “I’ll get started with breakfast, you just wake up Misha.”

He pointed to the lower half of Misha and you covered your mouth with your hand, chuckling into it as you realised what he was implying.

“Because that is the only dick I’ll be getting today right?”

“You’re darn tootin’ baby girl. Misha needs to fuck your pretty little pussy because he needs to feel how fucking tight you are, especially when you clench around him. I can feel it now, his princess’ cunt all warm and wet for him.”

Closing your eyes, you moaned at his words but when you opened them he was gone. You bit your lip and sat on your haunches, overlooking every inch of Misha’s deliciously tanned body. You were going to listen to Jensen and wake Misha with a surprise.

[goaways-stuff]

Masterlist

Who I write for

SUPERNATURAL:

Sam Winchester

Dean Winchester

Castiel

Possibly Jack??

Jared Padalecki

Jensen Ackles

Misha Collins

Genevieve Padalecki

Daneel Ackles

THE CONJURING:

Ed Warren

Lorraine Warren

MOON KNIGHT:

Steven Grant

Mark Spector

Jake Lockley

Layla El-Faouly

Arthur Harrow

Oscar Isaac

THE MANDALORIAN:

Din Djarin

THE LAST OF US (2023):

Joel Miller

Tommy Miller

ACROSS THE SPIDERVERSE:

Miguel O'hara

Peter B. Parker

THE ROOKIE:

John Nolan

Tim Bradford

Jackson West

Lucy Chen

Angela Lopez

Nyla Harper

Aaron Thorsen

Wesley Evers

THE ADDAMS FAMILY (1991):

Gomez Addams

Morticia Addams

OTHER:

Lin-Manuel Miranda

Doc Ock/ Otto Octavius (Spiderman)

Pedro Pascal

Nathan Bateman (Ex Machina)

Basil Stitt (Lightningface)

Jonathan Levy (Scenes from a Marriage)

What I write and don't write for:

I will pretty much write for almost any kink. These are the ones excluded:

Hard ddlg/ddlb (I will do daddy kink, but I will not write a straight up little space smut)

Scat Kink/Play

Hard Pet play (I'll write for things like collars or something, but being caged and constantly constantly on all fours, acting like an actual pet is a hard pass for me)

Incest

Beastiality

Anything along these lines is a no. Never feel embarrassed to ask about something if I missed something on this list.

I only do x readers right now, but I will do a pair x reader :))

I mostly write for gender neutral readers, but I also write for trans or cis male readers. I do not write for female readers for free (I would accept commissions to write fem readers). I will do AFAB! gender neutral readers, though. All of my works are trans reader friendly.

If you have any questions, feel free to send an ask in my inbox.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :)

☆what to include in your request

Palestine🇵🇸🍉- links to help

•Educational

•Daily Click

•Donate

this link is a gofundme for CareForGaza, a nonprofit organization dedicated to supporting displaced families in gaza by distributing necessities such as food, period products, diapers, baby formula, and so so much more. To see how donations are used, follow @/ CareForGaza on Twitter to see the many many Palestinians helped by this organization.

•Doctors Without Borders Gaza

•Operation Olive Branch

This link has multiple options to donate directly to different families in Gaza as well as donating to those distributing supplies.

[musiclovinchic93]

Happy New Year!!!!

I am so excited for 2020 and I hope you all are as well. Here is to a good year and a fabulous decade to come!

[fanaticwriting09]

How do you Like it?

Pairing: Cockles X Reader, Jensen Ackles x Misha Collins x Reader, Misha Collins x Jensen Ackles

Rating: 18+, NSFW Word Count: 1700 Warnings: Light D/s elements, Light Punishment, Poly relationship, Smut. Authors Notes: This is basically just porn with a small plot thanks to an idea that just came to me. 

  It had been 3 weeks since you last saw Misha and Jensen, that’s the longest you all had been apart since they invited you into this crazy relationship nearly 6 months ago. That’s why it didn’t surprise you when Jensen walked into the house and things move from zero to sixty fast. One moment you’re sitting on the couch watching TV and next thing you know you’re shirtless and he’s sucking a hickie into your neck with you perched precariously on his lap, a very visible tent growing in his pants.  Sliding your hand down his bare chest you moved to rub his erection through his pants when you felt a hand stop you. Looking up at him confused you couldn't hold back the pout, it had been weeks since you had touched each other and you were dying to feel him again. 

"You know we can't do anything till Misha gets back sweetheart, wouldn't want him to be left out would you?" 

Shaking your head you climbed off his lap, not able to avoid the sulking look on your face. A few minutes of silence passed as you stared blankly off into the distance, finally the sound of Misha coming through the front door caught your ears but truth be told you weren't really in the mood anymore. 

You looked up when you heard him come into the room, returning his smile that changed into a look of question when he realized you were only half dressed. Misha came closer, giving Jensen a quick kiss before turning his attention to you, doing the same.

"Having fun without me I see."

"No we weren't actually," you said a little harsher than you meant, giving Jensen a short glare. Noticing the tension he turned to Jensen.

"What happened?" 

"We were fooling around and someone got a little excited, I just reminded her that we needed to wait for you and so now she's pouting." 

Misha looked between Jensen and you before finally standing up from where he had been crouched in front of you both.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" 

You couldn't help but jump as he raised his voice.

"Three weeks, you realize that? Three weeks we've been away from her and you're just going to what, deny her?" 

Jensen went to say something but Misha held his hand up, silencing his boyfriend. Holding his hand out to you he murmured "come here baby." 

Pulling you close he kissed you softly, his hand running from the nape of your neck down the length of your body stopping when it reached your pants dipping in them he brushed his fingers through your folds, groaning into the kiss at the feel of your wetness. 

Pulling back he smiled, his finger still lightly toying with you. "All of this, just for Jensen and he wasted it, didn't he?" 

Nodding you did your best not to close your eyes, enjoying the feeling of someone's hands finally on you. Without turning his attention away from you he spoke to Jensen.

"Pants off, now. If you can't give her what she obviously needs, I'm going to let her take it, and you're not going to do anything but let her." 

Jensen grunted out a "yes sir" as he shifted pulling his pants and boxers off, Misha worked to undo your own pants, sliding them down your legs. 

"Now sweet girl, I want you to ride Jensen, cum as many times as you want, but first." He added walking away coming back quickly with a small object in his hand, he gave you a smirk before crouching down in front of Jensen again. 

"First, I'm going to make sure Jensen doesn't get to cum. If he can't take care of you, he shouldn't get to be taken care of should he?" 

 Jensen whimpered and you watched as Misha stroked him to hardness before sliding a cock ring on tightly securing his shaft to ensure he wouldn’t be cumming until Misha allowed it. 

Standing again Misha pulled you in for another kiss, this one deeper than before, his hands roaming your body as you felt your skin heat up beneath them. He kept kissing you as he slowly helped you remove your clothes, knowing he was helping you just as much as he was teasing Jensen. 

"Now sweet girl, are you ready to ride Jensen?" You nodded, your bottom lip pulled tight between your teeth. 

Misha moved you stand in front of Jensen, his hands on your hips reminding you he was still very much in charge. 

"You," he said directed towards Jensen. "Hands on the back of the couch. I don't wanna see them move or I will tie you up and you'll end up wearing that the rest of the night." He added, gesturing towards Jensen cock straining under the ring. 

Jensen groaned and you couldn't help the little smirk that played on your lips, the look he gave you letting you know he noticed it and you would certainly be getting paid back for this. The thought of that alone sent a shiver over you that Misha noticed. 

"Eager are we little girl? Climb on up on Jensen's lap and get yourself ready sweetheart." 

Obeying you moved to straddle Jensen, your hands resting on his shoulders and your core hovering just above his erection and you couldn't help but notice him buck his hips up slightly, trying to close the distance. You heard Misha tut before giving a slap to Jensen's cock before guiding you down, you let out a gutteral moan as he stretched and filled you. 

"Does he feel good sweetheart?"

"Fuck yes, I forgot how thick he was." 

 You couldn't help but pant as you adjusted to Jensen's size Your hips slowly started to rotate as you began a slow pace, rising until only the tip was left and lowering back down almost agonizingly slow, wanting to draw your first orgasm out as long as possible. Misha growing out of patience moved a hand to your hip, helping guide your pace making you speed up. His other hand began to dance along your bare skin, goosebumps rising under his feather light touch until he reached your nipple, you couldn't help the breathy moan that escaped your lips as he pinched and tweaked it. 

You felt the orgasm beginning to blossom in your core as your breathing started coming out in quicker shallow breaths, Misha's breath hot on your neck as he started peppering kisses along it, whispering to you, his eyes not doubt on Jensen who looked like he was seconds away from snapping himself.

"Does that feel good sweetheart, taking something Jensen was mean enough not to want to give you?" 

"Ye-yes Misha." 

"I want you to look at Jensen when you cum, show him how good you're making yourself feel on his cock." 

You nodded, swallowing hard as your felt your first orgasm hit you, your eyes locked on Jensen's as you moaned loudly, your thighs tightening around Jensen's. 

Your head fell back to Misha's shoulder as your movements slowed, your breath and heartbeat slowing down as well.

"Fuck, doesn't she look amazing when she cums Jensen? Too bad you didn't actually have anything to do with it huh? I think she should take one more, what do you say sweetheart, can you take another orgasm from Jensen." 

 You nodded, seeing the lust on Jensen's face inspired you through your exhaustion. Turning your head you pulled Misha in for a searing kiss,smirking at the feeling of Jensen twitching inside of you, you knew you had accomplished your goal of teasing him more. Slowly your hips began to move again, your body tired but craving more, you knew a second orgasm wouldn’t take long at all given how long it had been since you had, had any. 

   Moving your attention back to Jensen you planted your hands on his shoulders, using them as leverage to help you move faster, your hips rolling now in a steady rhythm. Leaning forward you ghosted your lips over Jensen’s ear as you spoke, “Pity you can’t move your hands, I bet they would feel amazing on my skin right now, daddy” 

You couldn’t help but let out a wicked little chuckle when you heard him growl, his hands gripping the back of the couch tighter. 

 Sitting up you let out a little gasp, Misha’s hands once again roaming your body this time working their way down your stomach. You mewled under his touch when his fingers found their way to your clit, your leg giving a little involuntary twitch at the intrusion.  

 “She is stunning, isn’t she Jen? Let’s see if I can’t help her soak your cock. Wouldn’t that be something.” 

 You moaned at the combination of his words and movements, feeling that familiar feeling beginning to pool in your belly, your hands gripping Jensen’s shoulders tighter as you tried to keep your movements steady. 

“Fuck, that feels so good.”

“That’s right little girl, tell Jensen how good his cock is making you feel” 

“So good, fuck!” You yelped when Misha’s other hand made it’s way to your breast, a nipple trapped between his fingers. 

  Your legs began to tighten around Jensen’s yet again as you felt the dam begin to break, your movements all but stopped as Misha continued his assault on your clit, drawing the orgasm out in waves until you finally felt what he was working towards, a gush of liquid flooding from your body as the built up tension finally let go. 

Unable to hold on anymore you slumped forward, clinging to Jensen’s body as you tried to control your breathing, everything feeling heavy.

“That’s a good girl” Misha praised as he planted a kiss to your shoulder, your eyes were so heavy you could tell he was moving but didn’t care what for. You whimpered as you felt Jensen slide out of you, his strong arms wrapping around you as he stood. Moments later you felt the soft cushion of the mattress underneath you and the tale tell signs of them cleaning you up, Jensen and misha both whispering words of praise as they joined you in bed.

[deanwithscissors]

Home Sweet Home Masterlist

Home Sweet Home:

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader (OFC) Words: 56,438 (total)

A/N:   this is a OC fic adapted to reader therefore all descriptions are tailored and may pull you out, but if you read anyway, thanks! feedback is welcomed, but i suffer with anxiety, so be kind! (not just to me - to everyone!) 

 *all parts can be read individually, including the series*

Carpool  -  Part 1

Summary:  Two coworkers first carpool to work together Word Count:  3288 Warnings:  Swearing, mention of alcohol, drugs and anxiety, mention of panic attack, implied smut

The First Time - Part 2

Summary:  Things get heated between the actors and a problem arises leading to a very serious conversation Word Count:  3322 Warnings:  Angst, swearing, mutual masturbation, oral (m&f), unprotected sex, painful sex [jensen’s too big - we all know he is] HE panics after thinking she didn’t consent -resolved same chapter

The Second First Time - Part 3

Summary:  After telling Jensen a big secret, [Y/N] sleeps with him for the first second time Word Count:  5850 Warnings:  Banter, fluff, swearing, handjob, blowjob, fingering, protected sex 

The Morning After - Part 4

Summary:  The morning after is sweet, until [Y/N] showers and her mood changes completely Word Count:  3111 Warnings:  Fluff, swearing, angst, anxiety, [Y/N] is triggered, mentions of coworker bullying, being mocked sexually, mention of edging kink, oral (f)

Weekend In Vancouver, Friday - Part 5

Summary: [Y/N] and Jensens emotional and sexual relationship is explored further during a long-weekend trip to Vancouver Word Count: 7299 Warnings: Fluff, swearing, mentions of anxiety, discussion of creating a safe word, dirty talk, fingering, oral (female reciving), blow job, face fucking, hair pulling, being held down, soft dom!jensen, rough sex, praise kink, overstimulation, memories/brief flashback of a bad sexual encounter

Feels Like The First Time - Part 1 | Part 2

Summary: [Y/N] enjoys an experience for the first time with Jensen Word Count: 2256 | 3309 Warnings: Swearing, dry humping, fingering, hand job

Captured By The Lights

Summary: After her five month old kitten takes down the Christmas tree again, [Y/N] is the one who ends up being decorated Word Count: 3636 Warnings: Swearing, fingering, hand job, oral (f), restrained

Visit From The Devil

Summary: Sometimes Jared takes pranks too far Word Count: 1426 Warnings: Panic of assault that turns out to be a prank, angry!jensen, protective!jensen, very light/brief female masturbation

Love In An Elevator

Summary: While the fans wait for Jensen to arrive on stage, [Y/N] refuses to wait any longer Word Count: 870 Warnings: Swearing, teasing, dirty talk, fingering

Birthday Girl - Part 1 | Part 2

Summary: Will [Y/N] ask Jensen for Dean Winchester as her birthday present? Word Count: 3000 | 6169 Warnings: Fluff, daddy ackles (parent not sir), banter, swearing, teasing, dirty talk, mutual masturbation, fingering, oral (f), blowjob, almost getting caught, roleplaying, edging, unprotected sex, squirting

When 3 Become 1

Summary: Two friends share their lover in harmony Word Count: 1459 Warnings: Cockles, swearing, threesome, hand job, oral (female receiving), anal penetration

Daddy’s In Trouble

Summary: Jensen’s in trouble after letting the kids watch Hocus Pocus before bed time Word Count: 2793 Warnings: Daddy ackles (parent not sir), swearing, hand job, female masturbation, unprotected sex, sub!jensen, restrained

Daddy Ackles To The Rescue

Summary: [Y/N]s having a difficult morning in the Ackles household, but Jensen’s always there to help Word Count: 1358 Warnings: Fluff, daddy ackles (parent not sir), mentions of anxiety and panic attacks

Snow Day

Summary: A kid free morning causes Jensen and [Y/N] to try something new Word Count: 6021 Warnings: Fluff, feeling down, swearing, dirty talk, mutual masturbation, fingering, the softest sweetest sex, unprotected sex, rough sex, sub!jensen, dom!jensen

Three Months - Part 1 | Part 2

Summary: It’s been three months since [Y/N] has seen her husband Word Count: 3141 | 7043 Warnings: Mentions of anxiety, swearing, blowjob, rough sex, sub!jensen, daddy ackles (father not sir), angst, argument, mentions of weight loss, self harm and being used sexually, rough sex, unprotected sex

Birthday Girl - Part 1 | Part 2

Summary:  Will [Y/N] ask Jensen for Dean Winchester as her birthday present? Word Count:  Part One: 3000 | Part Two: 6169 Warnings:  Fluff, daddy ackles (parent not sir lol), banter, swearing, teasing, dirty talk, mutual masturbation, fingering, oral (f), blowjob, almost getting caught, roleplaying, dirty talk, edging, squirting, unprotected sex

Ass Guy, Ass Girl

Summary:  Jensen finds out something about his coworker Word Count:  74 Warnings:  None unless you need one for the reader being bi

Cookies

Summary:  Jensen may have been sculpted by the gods, but he was just a man Word Count:  406 Warnings:  Jensen being a dude and being gross, crack, swearing

Two Plus One Is Three

Summary: Jensen finds out he’s going to be a dad for the first time Word Count: 613 Warnings: Fluff, swearing, mentions of smut, pregnancy announcement

Mommy’s Boy, Daddy’s Girl & Big Sis

Summary:  Sometimes you just wish the kids weren’t around Word Count:  683 Warnings:  Fluff, light teasing, daddy ackles (parent not sir lol)

Boundaries

Summary:  The longer you’re with someone, the less that isn’t shared Word Count:  527 Warnings:  Banter, crack, swearing, mentions of sex

[waywardnerd67]

Tell Me A Story Bingo

Tethered – Dean Winchester x Witch!Reader Squared Filled: Soulmates!AU Summary: While on a case a mysterious red rope appears on Dean’s arm tying him to the woman in town. Warnings: Fluff Word Count: 1463

Bad Boy and the Nerd - Dean Winchester x Reader Squared Filled: High School!AU Summary: An agreement to take down the popular kids turns into a blossoming romance. Warnings: Fluff Word Count: 2853

The Choices We Make - Jensen Ackles x Reader Squared Filled: College!AU Summary: His choice changed the whole course of her life. Warnings: Angst/Fluff Word Count: 3137

Blind Date - Jensen Ackles x Reader Squared Filled: Jared Padalecki Summary: Jared sets up his cousin on a blind date. Warnings: Fluff Word Count: 2163

Last Ride - Dean Winchester x Reader Squared Filled: Road Trip Summary: Dean and (Y/N) take one last road trip together.   Warnings: Angst Word Count: 1581

The Big Apple - Jensen Ackles x Reader Squared Filled: New York Summary: After six months apart, Jensen arranges for a trip to see the love of his life. Warnings: Fluff Word Count: 1449

Jack and Coke - Dean Winchester x Reader Squared Filled: Bartender!AU Summary: The same woman keeps coming in night after night catching Dean’s attention. Warnings: Fluff Word Count: 820

The Towel Drop - Jensen Ackles x Reader Squared Filled: Jensen Ackles Summary: After seeing videos on social media, he decides to take part in a unique challenge. Warnings: Fluff/Smut Word Count: 1376

Love Knows No Bounds - Gen Padalecki x J2 x Reader Squared Filled: Girls Night Summary: A night out with friends turns into some more. Warnings: Fluff/Smut Word Count: 1598

Saturday Night Special - Jensen Ackles x Reader Squared Filled: Backstreet Boys Summary: Jensen surprises (Y/N) for her birthday. Warnings: Fluff Word Count: 2009

One Night Only – Dean Winchester x Reader Squared Filled: Bedsharing Summary: One night changes everything. Warnings: Fluff/Smut Word Count: 1443

My Best Friend - Dean Winchester x Reader Squared Filled: Almost Kiss Summary: After seeing videos on social media, Dean decides to take part in a unique challenge. Warnings: Fluff Word Count: 884

My Best Friend Pt. 2 - Dean Winchester x Reader Squared Filled: Friends to Lovers Summary: After Dean foolishly tries to kiss (Y/N) everything changes between them. Warnings: Angst/Fluff Word Count: 873

She Just Wants That D - Jensen Ackles/Dean Winchester x Reader Squared Filled: Dean Winchester Summary: One night with Dean Winchester is all she wants. Warnings: Fluff/Smut Word Count: 2498

More Than Friends - Cockles / Jensen Ackles x Reader / Cockles x Reader Squared Filled: Love Triangle Summary: (Y/N) has a sneaky suspicion that there is more to her boyfriend’s friendship with his co-star. Warnings: Fluff/Smut Word Count:

A Night Off - Dean Winchester x Reader Squared Filled: Date Night Summary: After hunting back to back cases, Dean plans for a night off. Warnings: Fluff Word Count:

Final Decision - Dean Winchester x Reader Squared Filled: Quote E “Why? Why would you risk everything for just one person?” Summary: (Y/N) makes a huge decision. Warnings: Fluff Word Count:

High School Heartbreak - Jensen Ackles x Reader Squared Filled: Quote D “Why does it sound like you’re saying goodbye?” Summary: Graduation night everything falls apart. Warnings: Angst/Fluff Word Count:

Destruction - Dean Winchester x Reader Squared Filled: Quote B “We were a mistake.” Summary: In order to protect the one he loves, he must destroy everything he holds dear. Warnings: Angst Word Count:

Aftermath - Dean Winchester x Reader Squared Filled: Free Space - Quote A “I hope one day you’re as happy as you’re pretending to be.” Summary: One year after pushing (Y/N) away. They run into each other working a case.   Warnings: Angst/Fluff Word Count:

Baby - Jensen Ackles x Reader Squared Filled: Driving Baby Summary: Jensen and (Y/N) take Baby out when everything that could go wrong does. Warnings: Fluff Word Count:

Cap & Widow - Jensen Ackles x Reader Squared Filled: Captain America Summary: Jensen and (Y/N) attend a Halloween party. Warnings: Fluff/Smut Word Count:

Fake Mine - Dean Winchester x Reader Squared Filled: Fake Dating Summary: Dean and (Y/N) go undercover bringing up real feelings they both buried deep. Warnings: Angst/Fluff/Smut Word Count:

Mountain Man - Jensen Ackles x Reader Squared Filled: Christmas Summary: Holiday getaway is all they needed to fix things. Warnings: Angst/Fluff Word Count:

Home - Jensen Ackles x Reader Squared Filled: Texas Summary: Living in Los Angeles was driving them apart so they decided to go back to where their love began. Warnings: Fluff Word Count:

[impala-dreamer]

“Such a needy little thing, aren’t you?” He sets the head of his thick cock at your hole and pulses slowly in and out, just an inch. “You aren’t satisfied with one cock in you,” he teases, pushing in another tiny bit. “You need all your holes filled up, don’t you?”

A Cockles x Reader Smutstravaganza Coming To Patreon Jan 24, 2022

[supernaturallyobsessedchic]

I like this Ship

[Gif credit to @winchester-girlfriend​]

Pairing: Jensen x Reader x Misha

Warning: Cockles, Destiel rolepaly, SMUT! (Explicit, Oral sex Fem receiving and Male receiving), friends with benefits. 18+ Please!

Summary: A fan asks a question about Destiel, The reader heard a tone from Jensen she’s never heard from him before. Was he actually considering? Would her and Misha open Jensen up to the ship?

Word Count: 1,116

Main Masterlist

Mobile Masterlist

a/n: First Cockles fic, and first Destiel roleplay type fic. Feedback is much appreciated.

a/n2: This what happens when you’re on discord, flipping through the NSFW chat and they have cute ass Destiel gifs, manips, this happens.

~

“Jensen, the way you answered that fan’s question, about Destiel…” Y/N Trailed.

“What about it?”

“Are you interested in that kind of thing? Or what? You know there’s a Cockles ship right?”

“I know there is, and…I don’t know. At first I was like Hell no. But that might be just me.”

“Think you’re open to a little experimenting?”

“You’re inviting Misha over, aren’t you?”

“I may have already invited him over to hang out for the night.”

“We can talk about it, let me loosen up to the idea.”

“We can help with that.”

 After a long night of talking, even talking about some heated topics.

“Ever used a p-spot massager Jay?” Misha asked.

“A what now?”

“It’s a vibrator for your prostate.” He clarifies.

“Here’s one thing, I see Dean more bottom in a Destiel relationship.” Y/N says. Knowing full well Jensen is very competitive, even in bed.

“What!? I’m so on top, Cas wouldn’t know what he’s doing.”

“Oh really?” Misha says, cocking an eyebrow.

“Yeah, the angel is so clueless---”

He was cut off with Misha’s lips crashing into his. Taking him and Y/N by surprise.

It took a moment for him to register what was happening. Misha pulled away slightly.

“I’m not clueless Dean, I know exactly what you want.” Misha says, in Cas’s voice.

Oh, he’s roleplaying now! Y/N gushes.

His lips crashed into Jensen’s once again. Jensen snapping to it, kissing Misha back. The kiss growing hungry and controlling. Jensen grabbing Misha’s hair pulling him away from his lips.

“Are you just gonna kiss me or what?” Jensen growls.

“You want this?” Misha palms his cock through the denim material. “Think you can take it Dean?”

“You challenging me Cas?”

“Are you top or bottom Dean?”

“Top.”

“Then you better take it before I do.”

She sat there and watched as they nearly ripped all their clothes off throwing them around aimlessly, their lips working the other up. Jensen’s lips trailing down to Misha’s neck.

Misha moaning as Jensen began nipping away at the sensitive flesh. Pushing him down onto his back.

Y/N felt her own body heat up while she watched, shedding her shirt and pants she sat in the chair in nothing but her underwear and bra.

Jensen’s hands wondered down Misha’s soft yet muscular body, palming his hardening cock, giving no attention to his own needs.

Her hands trailed from her neck, to palming her breast harshly. Before she could register what she was doing she discarded her underwear and bra.

Jensen began peppering kisses down Misha’s body, getting closer to his throbbing red cock.

She bit her lip, her hand now slipping down to her soaking folds, circling, and rubbing against her clit. A moan escaping her lips. Causing the two friends to stop and look at her.

“Look at her Dean, she is turned on, pleasing herself. Do you think we should help her out?”

“For sure.” Jensen says, his voice wrecked.

Jensen leaves Misha on the bed, going to Y/N, pulling her hands away from her aching core. Pulling her up to her feet. Taking her face into his hands he presses his lips into hers in a harsh and hungry kiss. She moaned against him, Jensen swallowing every single moan.

He picks her up, she wraps her legs around his waist feeling his cock bouncing against her ass.

He walked backwards, the backs of his knees hitting the bed making him sit on the edge of the bed.

Misha placing a hand on Jensen’s shoulder while Jensen’s lips remained on Y/N’s, keeping up with their hungry and needy kiss, gently forcing Jensen onto his back.

“Ride his face.” Misha told her.

She pulled away, Jensen’s lips swollen and red, the pair breathing heavily. She crawled up his body without question.

She could feel his hot breath fan across her soaking center. She felt a warm, wet tongue swipe between her folds, teasing her entrance and flicking her clit. Taking her breath away, she braces herself placing her hands near Jensen’s head.

Misha’s lips kissed her shoulder, tracing down her back before leaving her body.

His lips found Jensen’s chest, his lips sealing around a nipple. She could feel Jensen bring in a sharp inhale from the sensation. Making her chuckle.

Misha gave the bud some due attention before moving down Jensen’s chest and abdomen.

Jensen’s grip around her hips tighten, she felt a grunt escape him as he continued to eat her up. Misha’s lips found Jensen’s aching red tip, his tongue swirling around the head before sinking his mouth around Jensen’s girthy hard cock. His tongue swiping the vein under his cock as he took him in his mouth, Jensen’s fingers digging more into her hips.

Misha began bobbing up and down roughly at the same rhythm Jensen was eating Y/N out.

She could tell he was close, his breathing was picking up, his pace at which he was licking and sucking her clit told her he was close.

Her breathing picked up as the heated coil built up with intensity. Periodically his lips would leave her clit as his tongue would enter her and thrust into her shallowly and his nose would bump into her clit. And then switching back to licking and sucking her clit. Making her coil snap, her walls clamping around nothing.

“Fuck!” she moans, her hips spasming as she fucked Jensen’s face.

Not before long he came with a groan, his face in her pussy, his lips not leaving off of her clit as he continued to suck. His grip around her, bruising tight around her hips.

Misha pulled off with a pop, Y/N moving off of Jensen plopping down near him, so her head laid next to his. The couple panting hard as they calmed down.

“No fair…Misha…we didn’t even…do you…” Jensen panted.

“No need, may have fucked your mattress, but I came after you did Jay.”

Jensen and Y/N chuckled.

“That was fun tough.” She says.

“That was, I never had a guy go down on me before.”

“Well it was someone you trust, that’s all that matters really.”

“So, are you thinking what I’m thinking.”

“Well, I am in a friends with benefits relationship with Jared, it’s how I met Jensen…Maybe, we could invite Jared over sometime, the four of us having some fun?” Y/N wondered.

“And I thought I was the kinky one?” Misha asks.

“No, it must be close to that time of the month. By that time she’s either horny, kinky or both.” Jensen says. Making Y/N giggle.

“Yeah, but you love me for it.”

“Damn right I do. Anyone up for more?”

“And who said I was horny?”

~

A/N: How’d you like my spontaneous fiction? Let me know, Feedback is always appreciated! :3

Dean Girls:

@pandazombie69​, @luci-in-trenchcoats​, @supernatural-jackles​, @becs-bunker​, @evansrogerskitten​, @jayankles​, @mlovesstories​, @welldonebeca​, @flamencodiva​, @megzdoodle​, @akshi8278​, @misfit0118​, @anotherspnfanfic​, @lyarr24​

~

Copying and reposting someone else’s content is plagiarism and illegal. This work is property of supernaturallyobsessedchic. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. These works contain material protected under International and Federal Copyright Laws and Treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of these works may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express written permission from the author / publisher. An electronic reference link to the original posted work may be provided for purposes of promotion or assistance of publication by the readers discretion, if proper credits are given to the author in the re-post. 4/9/2021

[torn-and-frayed]

So I have some ideas floating around and they’re in the works but I’m just wondering, is there anything any of you would like to see me write? Keeping in mind that I only write Dean or Jensen x Readers but am open to Jenneel x Reader, Destiel x Reader, Cockles x Reader, and Deonna x Reader, is there any kinda trope or AU or scenarios or something that maybe I haven’t written or whatever that you’d like to see from me? I love angst. Angst is my comfort zone. I only ever write implied smut except a few cringeworthy times I tried writing actual smut and failed miserably so I tend to avoid it and just imply it.

Anyway, let me know what you’d like to see from me :)

Tagging a few I can think of just so people see this. Feel free to reblog so I can maybe get some answers :)

@impalaimagining @plaid-lover-bay25 @ruined-by-destiel @feelmyroarrrr @kittycat-cas @percywinchester27 @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @soaringeag1e @katehuntington @talesmaniac89 @flamencodiva @msmarvelouswinchester @supernatural-jackles @supernatural-fangirl1967 @jayankles @kittycat-cas @iwriteaboutdean @sis-tafics @mrswhozeewhatsis @manawhaat @luci-in-trenchcoats @beanie-beebo @cosicas-cuquis @atc74

[readyplayerhobi]

Silver Bells and Cockle Shells

; Widower Single Dad!Hoseok x Reader

; Genre: Angst, fluff, smut

; Word Count: 22.2k

; Warnings: Mentions of death, grief, depression, insinuated blowjob and car sex, penetrative sex, masturbation, fingering

; Synopsis: Jung Hoseok has three beautiful daughters whom he loves more than anything in the world; Soo-ah, Ji-eun and Ji-soo. For five years now, it’s been only them and him against the world. But what happens when he wants to bring someone new into their lives?

; A/N: Hello, this is something I just randomly got in my head. Was meant to be a drabble...ha, evidently not. I half edited this but full honesty, I got bored and just wanted it out! If you like it, pleeeease reblog it! Leave me lovely comments and feedback, send asks and like it! I hope you enjoy this and that...it’s not boring or anything ;-;

; Sequel - Sleigh Bells Ring

-

“Soo-ah!” Hoseok cursed, frowning deeply as he bent over and picked up the toothbrush she’d carelessly dropped to the floor after she’d brushed her teeth for bed. “Pick up your stuff after yourself!”

Sometimes he felt like he spent half his day chasing around after his daughters to put his house back together. Honestly, going to work could be classed as a relief at this stage in his life. Pausing for a moment, he stared at himself in the finger printed mirror before letting out a deep sigh and rolling his eyes. 

He was too young to be thinking like that. At only 33, he was pretty sure that he should only just be experiencing the stress he’d endured for the past ten years. His friends certainly were only just beginning to understand what he’d gone through.

Already, Jimin had started whining about how tired he was with his newborn son which was making Namjoon start to blanch whenever they met up and the conversation started. His own wife was due in three months and Hoseok was looking forward to being as smug as humanly possible whenever the younger man complained himself.

They’d all had to endure years of Namjoon saying it can’t be that bad and encouraging them all to simply remain calm and all that bullshit he spouted in his daily role as a psychiatrist. It had made Hoseok want to hiss fire at him when the man had no concept of trying to cope with two colicky babies alongside a five-year-old who tantrumed over the wrong breakfast cereal.

The man had it coming, Hoseok swore. A small, sinister part of him was hoping that Namjoon’s baby would be the antichrist but then he pushed that thought away. In actuality, he hoped that Namjoon and his wife would have the most pleasant experience as parents.

No matter what, he was positive it would be better than his own experience.

Putting the toothbrush back into its place, he crouched down to grab the cleaner and sprayed the mirror in an even coating, placing the bottle back before grabbing a cloth and wiping the mirror clean. It was stupid, but the pristine surface soothed a part of him that screamed out at the sheer tornado of chaos his children caused.

His love for his daughters was infinite and he would happily give up his own life to protect them and ensure their unending happiness; but sometimes he also just wanted to scream in frustration. Sighing heavily, he rests his hands on the counter and looks down into the sink, brows furrowing together once more as he notes the stains of toothpaste spit that has dried on the porcelain and a deep groan runs through him.

A full clean of the house will have to be done this weekend. He’ll have time to do it as his parents are taking the girls to the aquarium and then a movie for the day after a sleepover. And then, after a whole day of cleaning, they would come back to a nice house with everything in its place and it would all go back to looking exactly how it had in the morning within hours.

Rubbing his hand over his face, he licks at his lips and looks back in the mirror. Said hand soon moves to run through his hair, pushing the sleek, black strands out of his face and he notes idly that he needs to get it cut. The sides are getting too long and he scowls slightly, pushing at the hair that should be shaved close to the sides of his head.

Maybe he could take the girls to get their hair done and then ask if the hairdresser would quickly do his as well. They’d be entertained with each other for a while, surely? Or maybe he could run out on Saturday while they’re gone and get it sorted. He did need to go shopping to buy groceries for dinner and it would make sense to do it at the same time. Hoseok had become very adept at finding time to fit multiple things together.

His stomach flipped nervously as he thought about dinner. 

If everything went right with the conversation he was about to have with his girls, then Saturday evening would be the first time he would introduce you to them. For five years now, Hoseok had raised his beloved daughters as a single father.

It hadn’t been out of choice. 

His eldest daughter, Soo-ah had turned ten-years-old in March this year. She’d been born when he was 23, a surprise pregnancy with his college sweetheart. They’d married a year later and Hoseok had enjoyed four wonderful and happy years with Soo-ah and the woman he’d considered the love of his life, Yoo-jin. 

A second pregnancy occurred when they had both been 27; this time it was planned and very much wanted. On October 29th, two beautiful twin girls had been born and Hoseok’s heart had swollen even more with love and affection. Ji-eun and Ji-soo were perfection in human form to him.

October 29th had also been the last day his wife had been alive. 

Complications from the strain of birthing both girls had taken his wife from him, and he’d suddenly been alone in the world with three daughters relying on him. Grief had taken a backseat as he’d thrown himself into the three innocent lives that needed him so desperately and it had been the hardest thing he’d ever done.

Crippling depression had hit him hard with the loss of Yoo-jin and sometimes the very sight of his kids had caused him to burst into tears as he’d thought about how she wouldn’t get to see their daughters grow and experience life. It had been even harder with two newborn girls who had demanded every moment of his time and attention, leading to him having to take time off work as a software engineer at first and then work from home once his leave ran out.

What had been even worse though, was that not only was he trying to cope with his own grief but that he also had to cope with Soo-ah’s. She’d been only five-years-old. Her mommy and daddy had gone to the hospital one day and had promised to bring back her baby siblings.

Only daddy and two sisters had come home. She hadn’t understood why mommy wasn’t coming back and for two whole months, Soo-ah started and ended every day asking when mommy was coming home. Everytime, his eyes had watered and his throat tightened as he’d had to tell her that mommy wasn’t going to come home, that she’d gone to the sky to watch after them all.

They say kids understand more than you expect, but it had still taken a long time for her to grasp the concept that her mommy was gone. He hadn’t been able to say that she had died, and he’d broken down the night that she’d turned six. Hoseok had tried to make it a happy and fun time for her, but it had only been five months since Yoo-jin had passed and Soo-ah hadn’t been coping too well.

She’d been happy at the start of her party, accepting her presents from all her friends and her many uncles and aunts who doted on her immensely. Her grandparents had already visited earlier in the day and Hoseok knew that everyone was spoiling her to try and make up for the one thing missing from her day.

Later on, she’d begun to act out and had a tantrum that resulted in the party ending earlier than expected. Hoseok had known that she might exhibit behaviour like this; she was just a child and it was a big emotion for her to compute. The happiness and excitement of everything, combined with seeing the other kids with their mom’s had simply been too much.

When he’d put her to bed that night, giving her lots of extra kisses and cuddles, she’d been quiet and sullen. It had broken his heart and yet again, he hadn’t known what to do. There wasn’t a manual for this.

But what had destroyed him had been what she asked him, her voice tiny and more than a little fragile as she curled up in his arms beneath her Mickey Mouse bedding. 

“Mommy’s dead. That’s why she’s not coming home. Right?” How he had got the strength to carry on that conversation with her without falling apart right then and there, he’d never known. But he had. And then he had checked on the twins before falling into his own bed, his pillow soaked with his own tears as pain had eaten at him.

Five years had passed since, and with time it had gotten a little better. His heart no longer aches when he thinks of Yoo-jin and he could talk about her openly with a smile. He made sure to keep her photos in the house for his daughters, reminding them of their mom and letting them know that she loved them. Each of their rooms, the single for Soo-ah and the room that Ji-eun and Ji-soo shared as they refused to sleep apart, was decorated with pictures of Yoo-jin and Hoseok.

It made him sad to know that he had no photos of Yoo-jin and the twins for them, but they’d never asked about her either. They had never grown up with a mom, so they never thought anything of it. Soo-ah had though, and while she had slowly turned back into the happy and loving girl he’d known, he knew that she would never forget her mom.

Nor would he want her to.

But for five years, he’d only limited himself to one-night-stand’s in which both he and the recipient were abundantly clear that there wasn’t going to be anything further. He hadn’t wanted to engage in romance, hadn’t wanted his feelings to get involved. All he had wanted was the relief of an orgasm and the intimacy of another person for a few hours.

His parents had encouraged him to go on a few blind dates in the last two years, and he had done so reluctantly. Even Yoo-jin’s parents had told him that they wanted him to be happy, even if that meant finding someone new to love.

It was hard though. He’d felt disloyal with the first few dates, even if they’d just ended up in casual sex before never seeing each other again. Most of them hadn’t been interested in anything further with a man who had three young daughters. He hadn’t been interested in them once they gave him that opinion.

So he hadn’t bothered mentioning it after, because he simply hadn’t wanted to engage in anything that would involve feelings. 

Until you.

He’d met you a year ago, when Jungkook’s wife had brought you to one of his summer barbecue get togethers. It had been before anyone else in their friend group besides from Hoseok and Seokjin had had kids, so it had been deemed a kid free event to allow the parents to kick back and relax.

Yoo-jin’s parents had taken the kids for the day and Hoseok had got to simply be himself for a few hours without having the stress of constantly checking on what his kids were doing. He’d discovered that three children meant three times the amount of potential damage and carnage that could be caused, and minus another parent figure resulted in just overall disaster material.

Hoseok still shuddered in horror whenever he thought of the supermarket experience from two years ago. Even now, he refused to go back there from sheer embarrassment.

But you had simply been there as a friend, and at first he hadn’t even paid attention to you in any way other than simple respect. You’d been sweet and friendly, if a bit shy as it had been obvious that everyone knew each other except for you. Chae-young, Jungkook’s wife, was a colleague of yours and you’d become close through a mutual love of equestrian activities.

At the time, that was as much as he’d known about you alongside your name, age and that you were the manager of a sales team in an office. There hadn’t been any need for him to know more, but by the end of the night he’d been quietly endeared by you.

He hadn’t laughed as much in years, his smile bright and wide on his face while he talked intently with you. For three whole hours, you’d both been in a little bubble of shared mutual interests from tennis to dancing to pop culture. Neither had noticed the subtle glances everyone was giving each other as they watched their friend, who had spent so many years with his light dim and subdued, come to life before their eyes.

Before he’d even realised what he was doing, you had both swapped numbers and he’d enjoyed a few weeks of casual interaction via text. He’d enjoyed the conversation with someone new and had been determined to not let his busy life get in the way.

Even better, you’d already known about his kids and hadn’t been bothered in the slightest. In fact, you’d even been inquisitive and he’d happily discussed them, pride behind every word. The texts had soon turned into phone conversations which soon turned into video chats.

Soon enough, he’d been meeting you for lunch in the city at a cafe that was between both your workplaces. Hoseok hadn’t realised how close Chae-young worked to him until then, and he’d enjoyed his lunches more than he ever had with the easy conversation that flowed between you both. 

It was ironic really. He’d spent so long not looking for anything that he didn’t even realise when something wonderful fell right into his lap. And you were wonderful, beyond wonderful.

For the first time in over a decade, Hoseok had gone to bed early to simply lay there, curled up under the covers, while he texted you like a teenage boy with his first crush. And that’s what he’d felt like, even if he hadn’t quite realised it. Every text had made his stomach flip and every call made him breathless with nerves.

He found himself going to the bathroom before lunch, checking over his hair and looks before meeting up with you. Things he saw in the store that reminded him of you found their way into his basket before ending up in your hands, all to see that pretty smile that made him feel so funny.

It had been so long since he’d dated properly, so long since he’d liked anyone in more than just a lust filled euphoria, that he just hadn’t realised what was happening. And it had taken his mom, of all people, to point it out to him.

He’d been at theirs one afternoon, the girls playing in the living room with the toys their grandparents had accumulated over the years while he sat at the island in the kitchen. His mom had been watching him for five whole minutes instead of preparing the meal for that night, observing the way her son smiled and laughed to himself, eyes locked on his screen.

It had made tears come to her eyes when she had realised that she hadn’t seen him like this since Yoo-jin had been alive. She had queried him who he was talking to, causing him to casually say your name without a second thought. And then she had asked him how long he had been dating you, which had thrown him for a loop.

“I’m not dating her. We’re just friends.” He hadn’t even realised he’d said those fateful words out loud, hadn’t realised the meaning of what he’d just said. In his mind, that was exactly what you were. Friends.

Which was why his mom had given me an exasperated smile and a shake of her head. “Hoseok, sweetheart. If you’re not dating her, then you should be. I haven’t seen you this happy in...a long time. Especially not with another woman.”

Hoseok had frozen then, staring down at his phone with a frown as his mother’s words had finally penetrated the shield that he had held so tightly around his heart for half a decade now. The last text you had sent him had been something stupid, but he’d gripped his phone tight as he’d realised she was right. You made him happy, you made him want to try.

And that made him feel guilty.

She’d spent the rest of the afternoon convincing him that it was okay to move on, to truly move on and find happiness with someone else. That night, he’d refrained from texting you as he’d tried to compute his newfound emotions and find a place for them to sit alongside everything else in him.

For so long, he’d thought that Yoo-jin would have been the only woman for him. The woman that he would grow old with, be buried next to and so forth. And then she had died at only 28, and he’d been without her once more. He’d spent years convinced that he should stay loyal to her, after all, they hadn’t broken up.

But as he’d laid there that night, he’d worked through the guilt that wracked him as he’d realised that he didn’t want to be alone anymore. He didn’t want to wake up alone, in a cold bed and come home to only his children. Hoseok loved his kids, he truly did, but he wanted someone that he could talk to, laugh with, argue with if necessary, be intimate with. 

He wanted someone to love again, and he wanted to be loved in turn.

Everyone had always said that he had a big heart, always ready to bestow it on whoever had his affections that day. A smile that could light up the sun and so forth. And for five years, he’d only poured love into his daughters because they were all he had.

As he’d gone to sleep that night, he had contented himself with the knowledge that he was no longer happy with his lonely situation. But he planned to do something about it, because he had also realised that he liked you, and he wanted to pour that love into you too if you would let him.

The very next lunch he had with you, he had asked you on a date. His confidence had faltered halfway through as panic had suddenly set in, worry that you wouldn’t want to date a 33-year-old father of three. But you had smiled brightly, face lighting up with such happiness and excitement that he’d been unable to not smile back, before eagerly accepting.

That had been six months ago, and he had fallen in love with you slowly every day since.

Despite this though, he had yet to introduce you to the girls. There were many reasons for this and he’d been pleased that you had accepted them all without complaint. The most important reason was because Hoseok hadn’t wanted to introduce anyone to them if it wasn’t going to end up serious.

It would just hurt them if you broke up and they never saw you again, and he wasn’t ready to impart that kind of emotional turmoil on his little girls. Secondly, he hadn’t wanted to pressure you into doing anything with his kids when you didn’t have to. You weren’t their mom, nor were you looking to be and he didn’t want to force that role on you. 

He’d wanted you to feel comfortable enough to finally meet them, and he’d wanted to feel comfortable enough in his relationship for you to meet them. But also, he’d just wanted to enjoy you to himself without the interference of children.

Hoseok loved his kids, he would never give them up and his whole life revolved around them really. Yet his relationship with you was the first thing in five years that he’d had solely to himself, untouched by their presence. He felt selfish thinking that way, but he’d just wanted to enjoy you a little longer without the pressure of parental expectations.

After six months though, he’d finally decided that it was time. It had been a huge decision, and he’d agonised over it a few weeks before finally talking it through with you. He’d had to be sure that you even wanted to meet them, because as worried as he was for how his daughters would react to you, he couldn’t even imagine what it must be like for you.

You’d started dating him in the knowledge he had three kids, but knowing and actually seeing and being a part of those small lives was entirely different. Most women probably didn’t start dating someone with a ready made family, and he’d stressed a little over that.

Dating him seriously meant you would be directly involved with his daughters. He didn’t want you to think that he wanted a second mom for them, because he didn’t and he doubted his daughters wanted that either, but it would be hard for you to avoid some parental activities.

And that wasn’t even thinking about whether or not you actually wanted children in the future. There was a chance that you might think he might not want more kids because he already had three, but you had none. Overall, it had taken a lot of thinking before he’d finally proposed the idea of introducing you.

He wanted to be able to bring you home, cuddle up with you on the couch after a long day without having to worry about the girls finding out. Eventually move onto you staying the night, hopefully one day in the future even moving in together. He had kids, yes, but that didn’t mean that he couldn’t have a relationship like everyone else.

Hoseok wanted to give you as normal a relationship as he could, despite the three extra people he came with as standard.

You’d been sweet about the whole thing though, consoling him and letting him know that you were supportive of whatever decision he made. There weren’t enough words in the English language for him to convey how much he appreciated how easy-going you were about it all and he’d just fallen even harder for you.

It was a little odd really, how quickly he’d realised he loved you. Admittedly, he’d spent months without even realising he liked you, but he’d told you those three special words within three months. He’d taken half a year to tell Yoo-jin, and he wasn’t sure what that meant. If it meant anything.

But all of this was completely moot if his girls decided they didn’t want to meet you. They were allowed that decision, and Hoseok was fully prepared to love you separately for a while until they got used to the idea. He didn’t want to, but he wouldn’t force someone onto them if they didn’t want it. Nor was he willing to break up with you solely for that reason.

He loves his daughters, but he refuses to let them rule his life entirely. Just as he works hard they’re happy, he knows that he’s entitled to happiness himself.

Pushing away from the counter, he takes a deep breath before heading into the twin’s room. The bathroom was the one all the girl’s shared while he had his own thanks to the en-suite. Something he was positive that he was going to be very thankful for when they all hit teenage years.

The twin’s room was pure chaos, as expected. He’d long since given up trying to keep this room tidy. Instead, he would simply go through once a day and make it look less like a bomb had gone off in it. 

There was plenty of room in the house for them to have a room each, there were actually two spare bedrooms in this ridiculously large house he’d bought with Yoo-jin years ago. It had been cheap purely because it had needed to have a lot of stuff fixed in it, but over the years he’d worked with both friends and family to turn it into the family home it was today.

But splitting the twins up had proven to be an unthinkable act. He’d tried it once when they were four and they’d screamed and cried for hours before going quiet. Thinking they were asleep, he’d gone to check on them only to discover that Ji-eun had gotten out of her bed and was curled up in Ji-soo’s bed.

The very next day, he’d moved her stuff back into the room and they’d been content ever since. Twins were funny, he mused to himself as he watched them both lying beneath Ji-eun’s Iron Man bedding, his iPad in Ji-soo’s hands as they both watched a movie.

He had refused to let them have an iPad, even a joint-owned one as he didn’t want to end up being that dad whose kids spent all their time on a screen. Even now, they were limited to only two hours of screen time a day. Soo-ah was the same, only she was allowed to use the computer to do her homework when necessary as well.

It caused them to whine a lot but he instead encouraged them to play, read books or even use the board games he’d bought. Thankfully, they were pretty happy with it despite the minor whining but he knew that his policy was going to have to change soon. Particularly for Soo-ah.

“Hey you two, how are my little pumpkins?” He said with a bright smile as he crouched down next to the bed. Two sets of identical eyes flicked over to him, their warm chocolate depths filled with sleepiness and fondness swelled in him.

“Hi daddy,” Ji-soo whispered, the tiny mole on her cheek being the only way to distinguish her from her younger sister. Her black hair shone with health in the warm light of the Avengers lamp on the bedside table and Hoseok reached out, stroking the flyaway strands down. Ji-eun was too busy watching the iPad and he smiled, resting his head on the bed next to them both and watching quietly.

There was only a few more minutes until it was over, and he took the tablet from them before switching it off and placing it next to him on the floor. The door creaked open and all three looked over, taking in Soo-ah’s frown as she looked at her sisters and dad.

He’d asked her to come into the twins room once she’d gotten into her pyjamas and he grinned at her mismatching clothes. A Mickey Mouse t-shirt was combined with Batman bottoms but he chose not to say anything as she flipped her long, black hair behind her shoulder in a movement that reminded him so strongly of Yoo-jin.

The twins were growing to look like him, but Soo-ah was all Yoo-jin. It was a soft ache sometimes to look at her, but it just made him love her all the more.

Gesturing to her with an open arm, she tucked herself into his side where he knelt and he kissed the crown of her head with a loud ‘mwah’, enjoying the way she wiggled and whined in protest. She was reaching the age where affection from him was met with embarrassment but he didn’t care.

“Are you all excited to go to grandma and grandpa’s tomorrow?” All three of them nod, excitement lighting up their eyes and he has to bite his inner cheek to stop the grin that wants to paint itself onto his face. His parents spoil them, they truly do. He has no doubt when he picks them up on Saturday that they’ll have eaten their weight in sugary goods and will likely have another toy each.

“Good, they’re looking forward to having you too. I want you all on your best behaviour, yeah?” Each little girl gives another nod and he goes soft with pride for them all. They were truly the most important things in his life and he squeezed Soo-ah a little tighter in response.

“So...err,” He paused, brow creasing as he realised that he didn’t know how to go about this. “On Saturday, we’re going to have dinner with someone. She’s...she’s someone very special to daddy.”

“Is she your girlfriend?” Ji-soo asks innocently, her eyes filling with curiosity and he smiles in response, running his fingers through her hair once more before nodding.

“Yes...she is. I...she’s been daddy’s friend for a while now, and daddy really likes her. So...I want to make sure that you all are okay with that? I don’t want to bring her if you’re not going to be happy.” This is possibly one of the most awkward he’s things he’s done in a while but he preserves, hoping that his daughters will understand and accept.

“Do you love her?” Ji-eun asks and Hoseok freezes, his eyes widening. He feels it’s far too soon to confirm that for them when he’s only just telling them so he shakes his head instead, leaning over to kiss her forehead.

“I like her a lot. She makes me very happy and I want you all to get to meet her. She’s excited to meet you if you want to. But it’s only if you want to.” There’s silence for a few moments more before the twins nod enthusiastically with smiles that resemble his own so much.

“Okay daddy.” They both respond at the same time, causing him to chuckle as that odd twin telepathy happens again. It weirded him out sometimes but it mostly just made him glad that they had each other.

Soo-ah hasn’t responded and he looks down at her, noting the way her eyes are downcast and her body is tight. His heart sinks slightly, knowing that she was going to be the one that he had the most trouble with. 

She was the one who remembered her mom, who vaguely remembered scenes of her mommy and daddy hugging and kissing, whispering they loved each other. It was always going to be the hardest with her, and he wondered how long it would take for her to accept it. If she ever did.

But then she surprises him with a slight shrug, her fingers tracing unseen shapes into his jean covered thigh, her lips pursed out in a tiny pout. “Okay dad.”

Her tone isn’t nearly as enthusiastic as the twins and he frowns slightly, kissing the twins goodnight and turning the lamp off before he gently encourages Soo-ah out of the room. She doesn’t speak on the way to her own bedroom, the interior of this room a soft purple that’s decorated with numerous horse posters.

Without a word, she climbs into her bed and curls up with her back to him underneath the covers. His heart clenched tightly as he sits down next to her, the mattress dipping and causing her to roll slightly towards him. Neither says anything for a moment as he simply runs his fingers through her hair gently, enjoying the way it feels and thinking about how big his little girl was getting.

“Soo-ah? Are you really okay with it? It’s okay if you’re not,” He whispered, looking away from her to the bookcase opposite him that’s filled to the brim with books. “She’s nice, I think you’ll like her. She goes horse-riding and knows so much about them.” 

“What about mommy?” And there it is, the very thing he was looking forward to least. His breath leaves him in a deep and heavy sigh while his head drops down momentarily as he tries to put his thoughts together into cohesive speech. This is all very new and alien to her and he’d always known it was going to be a tougher sell to her than the twins. They’d only ever had daddy, she’d had both.

“Mommy is still here with us Soo-soo, she’s not being forgotten. I still love her so much and I know that she still loves you. Y/N isn’t going to replace mommy, I swear.” Soo-ah stays curled up, her body tight and he grits his teeth, hating that he had to go through this with her.

“What if you fall in love with Y/N and forget about mommy? I don’t want another mommy. What if she’s mean? What if she hates us and tells you that she doesn’t want us?” Wow, this is way more questions than he’d anticipated from merely asking if they’d be okay with meeting you but he got the suspicion that these were things Soo-ah had worried over for the last few years.

Which meant he had to go very carefully, otherwise things could go very wrong.

“You’re not going to get another mommy, I don’t want that for you. You had one mommy, and you always will. Y/N doesn’t want make you unhappy, she’s not expecting you to love her or treat her like a mom. She also doesn’t hate you and she would never tell me make me choose. She’s known about you all the whole time I’ve known her and she’s excited to meet you all. I’ve told her so much about my smart girls. And she’s not mean. She’s one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. I wouldn’t bring someone into your life that I didn’t trust and like. I swear Soo-soo.”

She’s quiet for a moment longer before shrugging again, her body relaxing as she lets out a deep sigh. “Okay,” His shoulders relax as he senses the acknowledgement in that one word. “I love you daddy.”

Biting his lip, he knows that she’s still not entirely okay with it and he also knows that he’s going to have to be very careful on Saturday. He loves Soo-ah, but he knows that she can be temperamental around things like this, with valid reason, obviously. But he also knows that she doesn’t really know what to think, hence her calling him ‘daddy’, something that she hadn’t done for 3 years now.

“I love you too Soo-soo.” Bending over, he kisses her head goodnight before leaving her room too, resting his back against her door as he lets his head fall back and a deep sigh leaves him. He hopes you know how much he truly loves you with how willing he is to let you into his life, because for him and his little family, this is the biggest earthquake to strike since the death of Yoo-jin.

Only this time, he hopes that that result afterwards would be happy instead of painful.

-

Hoseok lets out a happy groan of delight as he bites into the greasy pizza, the tangy cheese contrasting wonderfully to the meaty pepperoni and rich tomato base. It tastes far too good and a voice in the back of his mind tuts at the wilful carbs he’s adding into his body. He’s not as young as he once was and keeping off the weight was beginning to be a little harder nowadays, but he pushed that thought firmly away.

You liked his body, even if he wasn’t as toned as he had been ten years ago. But whatever, you weren’t dating 23-year-old Hoseok and 33-year-old Hoseok didn’t give a damn when the pizza tasted this fucking good. 

A light chuckle sounded from his right and he glanced over, finding you watching him with amusement dancing in your eyes while a bemused smile played on your lips as you chewed on your own slice of pizza. Once you’d realised that you’d caught his attention, you swallow your piece before leaning over to wipe at the grease on his lips with undeniable affection and his stomach felt a little bit fuzzy.

He was being honest when he said that you made him happy, because you really did. In fact, he was pretty sure that this was the happiest he had been in five years and sometimes he got a little sappy and emotional about it. So long had been spent purposefully isolating himself for his daughters that he hadn’t really understood what he was missing out on again.

But, he conceded to himself, he was glad of that as well. Because he wouldn’t have started a relationship with you if he’d started dating earlier. So he was content with his earlier decisions, content with you.

Having kids and losing a wife had really turned him way more emotional than he’d used to be, but he reasoned that it was okay. He’d just learned what it was like to lose something he loved dearly, and he had spent years regretting not loving Yoo-jin more fiercely. Which was why he was determined to make sure that you knew exactly how much he loved you, for however long you both lasted.

He would not make the same mistake twice.

“Enjoying that?” You ask him, expression mischievous as you take the pizza crust he hands you and start to eat it with a joyful hum. Hoseok simply watches for a moment before nodding with a grin.

“Do you know...how nice it is to get to eat junk food?” A snort leaves you as you roll your eyes, shifting until your back is against the cushion on the couch and you pull your legs up. You’re only wearing some bed shorts and an oversized logo shirt with the Star Wars logo on it, both faded from overwashing but still comfortable.

“Am I supposed to feel sorry for you? You’re the one who chooses the meals in your house. If you want junk food, then just eat junk food.” The way you say it is completely casual but Hoseok gasps in mock outrage, a hand resting on his chest.

“How rude! You’re supposed to be complimenting me on how wonderful of a father I am because I make sure my daughters are eating the healthiest food! Did you know, we haven’t had chocolate in our house for over a year now? Only health snacks allowed.” A droll stare is all he gets in response and he squirms slightly, trying his hardest not to let his lower lip pout out.

You were two years younger than him and also childless, yet sometimes he felt like you were the older one and also the parent. 

“Blatantly false. I distinctly remember you eating a Kit Kat the other week in bed when we facetimed. I thought lying was bad Hobi?” You’ve got him there and he finally lets his lips purse before he chuckles in defeat, nodding his head.

“Okay fine, we have one day of junk food a week. But they’re not allowed anything unhealthy unless they’ve done something really good, like got a really good grade or done some chores around the house. Me on the other hand...well, let’s say I might have a secret stash hidden somewhere in the house that little girl’s can’t reach.” His hand waves airily as he speaks and you burst into laughter, reaching out with one foot to push at his thigh.

Without even thinking about it, he lowers his hand to rest on your leg and runs his fingers along your skin affectionately. There’s no pizza left anymore and instead he focuses on sliding his hands along your calf, digging into the muscles there and massaging gently until you let out a soft sigh.

Silence falls between you both, the comfortable kind where neither of you feels the need to speak. The television is playing some Netflix Original series while the lingering scent of pizza still fills the air.

He’d come over to yours for the night, enjoying the fact that he was actually able to spend the whole night with you. His parents had asked to have the girls last week tonight and he’d agreed happily, knowing that it meant he could spend more time than usual with you. Staying over was only possible when the girl’s were not home, and that was pretty rare.

Your apartment was pretty small, the size dictated by what you could afford in combination with the car you had and the salary you earnt. But he liked it all the same. It was filled with a combination of pop culture in the form of figurines and plushies everywhere alongside beautiful paintings that hung on the walls or elegant photographs of landscapes. 

Candles dotted the area, a few lit to fight the pizza scent with vanilla and he smiled as he felt himself relax both physically and mentally. There was no hint of children here, no toys thrown around or crayons half hidden underneath furniture. He obviously loved his kids but sometimes it was nice to just...have somewhere that didn’t look like Toys R Us had thrown up in it. 

In actuality, he found dating as an adult slightly odd. The last time he’d properly dated had been with Yoo-jin, and that had been over ten years ago. He’d been a student when they’d got together, only 21 and he’d had a young adult’s mindset to go with it too. At the time, all he cared about was his grades, partying, getting drunk and getting laid.

Not necessarily in that order.

Okay, definitely not in that order.

A job, taxes, bills, childcare, children and so forth hadn’t even entered his head really. Dating back then had simply meant meeting up with Yoo-jin after class and going back to the apartment he’d shared with Yoongi and Namjoon, fooling around for a few hours before crashing in bed. Maybe going to a party or actually doing his homework.

The most stress he’d had was exam period, or maybe that time he forgot to hand in his term paper and he’d been handed his ass by Professor Lee in History of Medieval Europe. That hadn’t been fun.

Dating had been almost...relaxing with how carefree it had been. How unburdened with the stress and realities of life.

Dating now was far different. Now he had to fit in his dates with you in his lunch breaks or the rare evening he could get someone to watch the girls. Talking was relegated to when they were in bed and a lot of the conversations often ended up being about world events or problems with a job or co-worker. It felt mundane and if he thought about it, boring, but he oddly didn’t mind.

Being with Yoo-jin in the early stages had been exciting and fun, dates being extravagant and wild. Being you was different. In Yoo-jin, he’d sought excitement but with you he sought comfort and quiet. A way to simply be Jung Hoseok, the man, again instead of being Jung Hoseok the father or colleague.

He felt a little sad that he didn’t get to experience the wildness with you, but then again, he felt far too tired for that anyway. It was only 8pm and he was already contemplating asking if you wanted to go to bed. Not even for sex, but just because he was tired. 

Though he wouldn’t say no to sex. 

That was definitely something that he’d discovered was perhaps even better than with Yoo-jin, which he’d felt a little guilty about at first. Sure, he perhaps couldn’t go as often as he had when he was 21 but it was just...better.

Both of you were far more experienced and knew exactly what you liked and didn’t like in the bedroom, and you were both mature enough to be honest and open about it. He’d been mortified to find out that he hadn’t actually given Yoo-jin an orgasm for six whole months because she’d been too shy to tell him whereas you’d told him exactly what to do for the very first time you’d slept together.

He’d been a little shocked actually, but it had resulted in perhaps the best sex he’d had in a long time. Particularly for two people who had never had sex with each other. And yet it had; he’d never felt such an intense and emotional connection with someone before and it had even frightened him a little bit, made him feel disloyal because he couldn’t ever remember Yoo-jin like that.

It had taken a quiet discussion with Namjoon over his guilt to realise that the sex was probably better because you were the first person he’d slept with that he’d been friends with beforehand, who he’d fallen for long before. Yoo-jin had been a one night stand that had turned into something more, but he’d known you for months.

Sex with you was some of the best he’d ever had, and it blew his mind even more because you hadn’t even had a huge amount of it in the past six months. The lack of time he had for meeting up with you meant that there just wasn’t time for it and so he’d had to fit it in where he could.

For the first time in well over ten years, he’d actually had freaking car sex. And it was not as pleasurable as he remembered. His cheeks flushed as he recalled that incident vividly. It was perhaps not his best moment sexually, but you’d both handled it so well.

it hadn’t even ended in an orgasm because you’d got cramp from bending over and he’d hit his head against you when he’d jerked forward in worry. It had ended up with you back in the passenger seat and giving him a blowjob while he’d felt guilty as hell over not being able to properly reciprocate.

But even that had proven how compatible you were with each other as only minutes later, with his cum still dripping down your face from where you’d overestimated your deep throating abilities and practically coughed it all back up, the two of you had been giggling like teenagers at the failed sex.

A snort leaves him as he remembers it and he shakes his head in response to the look of query you give him, tugging at your leg until you give in and move over to him. He smiles in victory as you curl into his side, your warmth pleasant against him while he wraps his arm around you comfortably, pressing his lips to your head and simply taking the smell of you in.

You smelt like the perfume he’d bought you for your birthday last month, a fruity candy scent because that’s what you loved above all else and he loved it. It made him want to eat you, and he felt a stirring in his groin as he considered doing just that.

“Are you sure they’re okay about tomorrow?” Your voice is soft and quiet but he can hear the insecurity behind it. He understands why. The two of you had made sure to have an in depth conversation about what would come about from you being introduced to his daughters.

You’d known that it would mean sometimes you would come to his place which would mean interacting with them on a personal level. Dates would sometimes end up being family events and they would come in tow. Quite simply, the longer you continue to date and the more the two of you settle into your relationship, the more integrated you would become into his own family.

He could hardly date you seriously and never include you with his own family. Particularly if he ever hoped to move you in one day. No, you would need to know what you were getting yourself into and needed to be accepting of that.

Just as he didn’t want to force something on his daughters, he didn’t want to force a family on you.

As much as he said to Soo-ah that you wouldn’t be replacing her mom, it would be impossible for you to not take on some mother aspects for them. Firstly, it just wouldn’t be fair to be in a long term relationship with him and never expect to do anything with his kids considering how young they were.

Secondly, you were a kind and nurturing person anyway. He had no doubt that whenever you eventually moved in, because he was pretty positive that would be happening in the future, you would want to actively try with the girls. How receptive they would be, he didn’t know.

But if you wanted to try with them then he certainly wasn’t going to stop you. If they didn’t want to reciprocate then they wouldn’t have to and he’d make sure that you knew that too.

“Well...I mean they’re only kids, so I can only really take them at what they say. The twins probably don’t understand properly but I don’t expect them to. They never got to be with Yoo-jin so, this is all new to them. For them, the only thing they’ll probably get upset is that daddy will have someone else that he’s going to pay attention to. Soo-ah though?” His tone turns a little unsure without him even meaning to and you wiggle against uncomfortably.

“She’s the one who’s going to be harder to get through to, isn’t she?” Hoseok hugs you tighter to him as the despondency in your voice and he wishes that he could take it away, but you’re right. Soo-ah is the mystery in the whole situation and she could make everything perfect or it could all fall apart.

“Yeah. She’s...she’s worried that I’m forgetting her mom or that you’ll try and replace her or something. A valid concern for her to have, but I think it’s going to take a while for her to come round to it. To everything really. To you being in our lives, to me loving someone else. It’s going to be hard on her and I wish I could make it better for her but...I can’t. I’ll just have to work with her and show her that being with you isn’t going to mean that Yoo-jin didn’t exist.” 

You push up from him at that, a hand resting on his thigh and he looks deep into your eyes for a moment. He sees love for him there but also concern for his daughters combined with uncertainty for yourself and he can’t stop himself as he leans forward, pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

“I don’t want to take the place of their mom. Especially not for Soo-ah, I can’t even imagine what she went through and...that’s not what I want. I’ll try ready hard with them, I will. I swear. And I won’t get too offended or upset if they get angry at me. I know it’s a hard situation for them to get used to. It’s just been you four for a while now and I’m the interloper.” His heart warms at your words and he hugs you tighter to him, kissing your forehead hard before resting his nose against you.

“That’s why I love you. You know that? Because you care and you don’t push. I appreciate that so much. They’ll come around to it, even if they’re not happy at first. I don’t expect them to be happy, but I can’t be forced to be alone for the rest of my life just because they don’t like it. I...I feel a bit guilty saying this but...I deserve to be happy too.” A soft brush of your lips against his neck lets him know that you agree and his racing heart settles a little.

He’s nervous for tomorrow, yes, but he knows that he’s right. It’s been years of loneliness and now he’s finally ready to accept someone else. And he knows that his daughters would come to like you just as much as he does. Hoseok doesn’t expect them to love you, and he never would, but he hopes that they’ll at least come to like you.

“Anyway, let’s not focus on that right now. We’ve got that bridge to cross tomorrow. Tonight is just me and you, the last night of it being just us,” His brows wiggle suggestively and you roll your eyes in response, lips quirked up in amusement. “How about we take this to the bedroom?”

An unladylike snort leaves you as you push up from him, grabbing the pizza box and heading over to the kitchen to throw it away as he turns off the television.

“Really? You want sex already?” The exasperation in your voice causes to throw a look of outrage at the kitchen door but you’re not there to experience it so he just grins instead, grabbing both your phones and heading over to your bedroom.

“I just meant going to sleep you horndog! God, I thought men were supposed to be the ones who always thought about sex?” He calls out, biting his lip in amusement as he plugs your phone into the charger by your bed and places it on the bedside table.

The screen lights up momentarily and he grins as the lockscreen image pops up; it’s of him kissing your cheek in a park. It had been one sunny lunch and the cherry blossoms had been out in force, providing the perfect backdrop for a perfect picture.

He jumped in surprise, letting out a yelp and dropping his own phone onto the table with a clatter as two hands grip his ass firmly before they slide round to his stomach, wrapping him in a tight hug while you giggle and press kisses to his back.

“How can I not think about sex when my boyfriend is this hot?” The pink painting his cheeks is slightly embarrassing but he can’t stop the primal flush of pride at your compliment and he wants to roll his eyes at himself. 

Turning around, he looks down at your pretty face and bends down to press his nose against yours in a butterfly soft kiss before catching your lips with his for a proper kiss. His arms move to wrap around you in turn, holding you tightly to him and for a few minutes, he just focuses all his efforts into exploring your mouth in a slow yet sensual kiss.

By the time he’s finished, you’re slightly breathless and he admires the dazed look in your eyes, lips swollen and the stirring in his groin he’d felt earlier becomes even more insistent. Perhaps too insistent given the way you look down at his crotch with a raised brow before glancing back up, biting your lip.

“You might want to go to bed but I want you, so how about it daddy?” He pauses, looking at you with a carefully blank face.

“As long as you never call me that ever again then sure. I think I can forego sleep for a little while longer,’ he grins broadly before stepping back. “So undress for me princess. Let me see how hot my girlfriend is.”

“Yes sir.”

“Oh...now that...I like.”

-

Waking up the next morning was surprisingly nice and he simply laid there for a few minutes in the quiet, taking in the way your scent saturated everything and how warm the bed felt. When he finally did open his eyes, he was met with the sight of a clock that read 8am.

Surprise flooded him for a second before he stretched out, groaning softly before smiling and simply laying there. He hadn’t woken up as late as 8am in years and it felt freaking glorious. Half of him wanted to roll over and simply go back to sleep, but he knew that his body wouldn’t let him now that he’d opened his eyes.

You on the other hand, were curled up in a ball next to him beneath the covers, your back facing him. A few ideas ran through his mind, wondering whether he should just get up and go shower or if he should spend some more time with you.

Time with you won out, as he knew it would have. He wasn’t going to turn down a morning with you without kids, no way in hell. And so without another thought, he rolled onto his side and curled up behind you, humming contentedly as the warmth of your body seeped into his own.

“Princess...priiincess,” He cooed into your ear, grinning as you shuffled slightly in his arms and let out a quiet croak in response. “Are you awake?”

There was no doubt about it, he was being a little shit right now and doing the exact thing that he whined at his own kids for doing on the weekend. But he didn’t care, because he found your response far too cute.

“No.” The pout you must have your on your face is abundantly evident and he laughs, pressing a kiss to the back of your neck. He wouldn’t kiss you, because he’d discovered that you really hated kissing with morning breath. Not that he was a fan either, but sometimes he just...wanted to kiss you really bad. 

Though sometimes he had regretted it, but he just pushed those thoughts out of his mind. No, he wouldn’t kiss you today. At least...not until you’d both gotten up and brushed those pearly whites until the kiss would be minty fresh from both ends. 

Instead, he just squeezed your body tighter to him and let out a quiet sigh of satisfaction. It was easy to forget how nice it was to just lay and cuddle with someone he loved; the warmth of you, the smell of you, the touch of you. It all merged together until he felt himself start to drift off once more, eyes closed and breath levelling out until you suddenly turned in his arms and he jerked awake once more.

An amused laugh left you as you looked up at him, eyes bleary with sleep while pillow lines creased your sleep swollen cheeks and his eyes narrowed playfully. “I thought you were sleeping.” He mumbled, burying his face into the slope of your neck while his hand moved to lay flat on your stomach, fingers stroking absentmindedly.

“Hard to sleep when I’ve got your hard on pressed against me.” Hoseok grunted at that, his fingers darting up to pinch at the nipple that made itself present through the thin material. A yelp left you before you laughed again, taking his hand and trapping it between your chin and shoulder.

“Don’t get too flattered. If I had a dollar for every time I woke up with an erection then I’d probably be just as poor because I’d have spent it all by now. But you get the point.” Your lower lip vanishes beneath your teeth as you hum, brow furrowing slightly.

“Are you saying that you don’t find my sleep face and morning breath attractive?” A snort leaves him as he presses his nose against your cheek, kissing the softness there slowly.

“I find you more than attractive missy, and you know that. I believe this is the first time we haven’t fucked after waking up together.” Pouting, you turn your head until you’re looking directly at him and he ducks his face slightly so that he’s not breathing directly on you. He did that once. 

Once.

“Don’t give me that face. The only reason I’m not balls deep in you right now is firstly, because I need to go shower and then head home to clean up and secondly...I don’t have another condom.” Your face contorts on itself before sighing, your hand moving to brush over his boxer briefs and he lets out a hiss of breath as he feels you move against his cock.

“I could suck you off.” It’s almost innocent and he glares at you, lips pursing before he pulls away, rolling to the side and departing the bed before you can entice him any further.

“That’s not...I mean...minx.” You just grin at him before getting up yourself, letting him see the way your shirt has twisted on you in your sleep, clinging tightly to your curves. His hands clench automatically as he huffs out a breath, staring at the sight of your boy shorts that cup your ass so beautifully.

He was trying to be good here and you were ruining all his intentions.

“So...you don’t want a blowjob in the shower then?” There’s not even a chance for him to respond as you tug off your shirt, revealing the delectable sight of your breasts as they’re revealed to the morning air. Without even looking at him, you head towards the bathroom door.

Indecision fills him as he stares at the door, the straining erection in his underwear telling him to go but the logical part of his mind reminding him that he is, in fact, an adult man and not a horny teenager. But then your panties come flying through the door, landing in a heap and he lets out a deep groan before striding over.

He may be an adult, but he’s an adult who damn well likes your mouth on his cock and he is not turning that down. Not today, when later on will be stressful. Right now, it’s time to just enjoy you while he has you entirely to himself.

Inside the bathroom, he finds you merely brushing your teeth at the counter but your eyes move to land firmly on his and he desperately wishes he didn’t find it so weirdly attractive to watch the way your arm moves. But then he realises it’s what you want as your free hand slowly trails down your body, reaching the hair at the apex of your thighs.

Swallowing thickly, he lets out a slow breath before reaching around you for the toothbrush you’d given him to use here and carefully begins to brush his own teeth, trying his hardest not to look. This was not supposed to be a sexy activity, and yet here he was, eyes glued to your hand while his own hand tried to brush his teeth.

A quiet moan slips from your mouth, eyes fluttering shut and your arm shudders slightly, pausing in your movements as the fingers between your thighs work at yourself and he hisses, brushing far quicker in his haste to be done. He doesn’t want you to get all the fun, no way in hell. 

Leaning over, he spits out into the sink and is suddenly reminded of all the times you’ve chosen to spit instead of swallow when you’d blown him and he has to repress the urge to giggle. Instead, he washes his mouth and realises you’re doing the same next to him, head so close to his own that he has an almost preternatural awareness of you.

Glancing up into the mirror, his breath escapes in a rush as he sees you bending over the counter, one elbow resting while your other hand moves in slow circles between your legs, now spread wider. Oh, this is just not fair, he thinks to himself before his eyes narrow.

“I thought I was getting a blowjob?” He asks, moving upright and looking down at you with an imperious brow raised.

You watch him with innocent eyes in the mirror, your own brows raising to complete the facade while you bite at your lower lip. “Did I say that? I thought you didn’t want anything.” The last syllable ends on a soft moan and his hands finds your hips without him even meaning to as your eyelids flutter shut, mouth opening in a perfect circle as soft moan leaves you.

It’s like a lightning bolt to his groin, cock aching at the sound and he realises he can hear wetness as your fingertips slide between your folds. His own fingers itch with the need to take over, to feel that slickness and rub till you’re breaking apart against him.

“Well...it’d take a strong man to turn this down princess,” Moving behind you, he presses his front to your back firmly and mouths a hot kiss to your shoulder, tongue working slowly before he looks back up into the mirror and smirks at how you watch him with those needy eyes. “I’m not that strong.”

Without another word, his arm comes around to your front and he pushes your hand out of the way, his own delving into the gap and his fingers finally rub against your clit. You’re already slippery with your own desire, worked up from your own touch while you’d been safe in the knowledge that he was carefully watching.

Your head falls back against his shoulder, even at this awkward angle with you bent over the counter but he just focuses on kissing and sucking at the sensitive skin of your shoulder and neck. He makes sure not to leave any marks on your neck but he’s more than giving with his attention, his free hand moving around to massage your breasts firmly, playing with your nipple till you push back against him.

“Condom…” The word is panted out from you, your hips gyrating against the firm touch of his fingers on your engorged nerves and he doesn’t even notice it at first. Not until you’re shifting position, trying to reach over to the drawer by your side. He pauses in his movements, fingers half inside you at this point and watches as you tug open a drawer and pull out a foil wrapper.

Looking back in the mirror at you, his brows raised in a combination of surprise, amusement and mild rebuke. “Wow...you really are a little minx, huh? Keeping condoms in the bathroom and not telling me. I’d say naughty girl but right now, I approve.”

A low laugh leaves you as you tear the foil with your teeth, pulling the condom out and handing it back to him. He kicks off his underwear quickly before giving himself a few firm strokes, breath coming a little quicker from the friction but he’s more than excited to be inside you already. It’s not even been 12 hours since the last time he’d fucked you.

Once on, he reaches between your legs once more and plunged two fingers inside of you, checking that you’re more than wet enough for him without needing to get any lubrication. Sometimes you needed it, sometimes you didn’t. Today appeared to be a didn’t, and he wondered if you had some kink of mirror sex kink because you were already near enough dripping for him.

Grinning, he lined up his cock and rubbed the tip against you, rocking his hips forwards and back in slow motions to let your juices coat his cock. The sensation has you gasping softly, causing your own hips to push back as you try and shift enough to find the right angle to get him to slip inside.

He lets you take control for a moment, watching intently as your pussy finds his tip, the engorged head slipping into your sopping entrance. Holding your ass with his hands, he slows your movements down and slowly penetrates you until he’s balls deep inside, breath leaving him in a slow and controlled exhale as you squeeze tightly around him.

His eyes roll slightly at the sensation and he can’t help but grip your ass harder, tutting slightly. As said, you’d already had sex in the last twelve hours and it had been two rounds worth. He’d been proud of himself for producing two performances like that in such quick succession but he had no doubt that you were feeling at least a little bit sore right now so he tried to go slow for you.

Turns out you didn’t want slow and a soft, keening whine leaves your mouth as you try to push back against him harder. Glancing into the mirror, he has to bite his lower lip to stay quiet as he watches the pleasure filled expression face back at him, your eyes screwed tightly shut while your mouth falls open.

The thrusts he makes into you might be slow, but they’re also deep and each movement has you jerking forwards slightly. It causes your breasts to rock with each slap of his hips against your ass and he watches, entirely mesmerised by the movement and wanting to see how you react when he’s fucking you harder.

“Hobi.” You mewl, the sound strained and yet oddly high pitched as one hand moves back to grasp at his hip, trying to pull him into moving faster in combination with your squirming ass and he brings down the flat of his hand on your rounded cheeks chidingly. The sound is loud in the quiet of the room but your inner muscles immediately grip in tighter, the sensation causing him to choke for a moment and his brows rise in amusement.

Well, someone liked being spanked. He was definitely going to remember that for future events.

Any hope he had of being gentle with you to avoid soreness is gone though and it’s clear to him that you’re wanting it harder and faster than he’s going. So he decides to give you it, his hips moving forward faster until the bathroom is filled with the lewd sounds of skin against skin, slick wetness, breathy pants and lust filled groans and moans.

“Come on princess,” He grunts deeply, kissing your shoulder before his arms slide around your waist. One pushes against the counter, giving him extra balance as he thrusts while the other dips back between your legs, the slippery mess there making your soft warmth even more delightful.

The combined touch of his fingers and cock increases your moans, though they’re more like vocal hitches of breath that whine with stroke inside you. Your own hand moves to press down on his own, rubbing furious, tight circles into your clit while he continues to slam into you. The wetness has to be leaking down your thighs now, coating your inner legs and the thought turns him on almost as much as the completely fucked out visage he gets to watch in the mirror.

Breath coming quickly, he pants into your ear before moving his lips down to kiss at your neck frantically as the pleasure in his groin tightens furiously, the need to move faster and harder so strong as he feels the impending release of his orgasm. He desperately wants you to come first, but sometimes that just doesn’t happen and he can’t help it as your pussy flutters around him once more, tightening viciously and he succumbs to the waves of pleasure that flood through his body.

A long and drawn out moan leaves his mouth, high and filled with pure satisfaction and carnal pleasure as he moves inside you slowly, pulling every bit of pleasure he can out from your warm depths before it feels too much for him. Hissing lightly at the overstimulation, he refuses to move as his fingers move back to your clit, rubbing at you in quick, fast movements that have you shivering in his arms as needy moans leave you.

Tiny movements of your hips as they gyrate and the clenching of your pussy has him whining quietly but he doesn’t move, determined to get you off as well. Sometimes it didn’t happen and you’d push his hand away, but this time you keep him firmly against him until your body seizes tightly around him, muscles stiffening before convulsions take over.

His cock slips from you in the midst of your orgasm but you don’t notice, not when his fingers keep moving and prolonging the pleasure until your hips shift away from his hand, the subtle movement telling him to let go. Heavy panting is all that remains in the room and he strips the condom quickly, throwing it away before wrapping his arms around you and hugging you to him tightly once more.

“Fuck...I was not intending that. I was trying to be good.” He mumbles against your shoulder, not noticing the way you give him a tired smile of affection in the mirror as your hand comes up to run through his messy hair. 

“I didn’t want you to be good. I wanted you to fuck me good and hard, and you did. So thank you.” You murmur, turning around and pressing a kiss to his lips firmly. Neither of you move for a few moments, simply enjoying the post-coital bliss of an orgasm induced intimacy before Hoseok finally pulls away with a contented noise.

“Okay princess, now that we’ve got even more dirty...let’s finally take that shower.”

-

Hoseok finally manages to leave your house an hour and a half later, meaning that he’s running behind on his own internal schedule and he feels the slight anxiety that he always does when he’s not being on time. With three kids, he’s had to learn to strictly regiment his time if he ever wants to get anything accomplished.

Whether they obey or not is a different story entirely.

After getting out of the shower and pulling on some clothes, he’d then been forced to sit down on your couch while you cooked him a quick breakfast. The very idea of having food cooked for him by someone who wasn’t his mom was bizarre after so many years, but he’d enjoyed eating the over cooked toast and bacon more than he’d like to admit. 

He’d originally intended to run out to the grocery store and grab the food for dinner before heading back home and cleaning everything up. Only you’d looked far too anxious about tonight when he’d been on his way out, shooting multiple questions at him that gave away your nerves and he’d felt sympathy swell.

It was easy for him to focus on his girls and worry about their reaction, but he had to try and remember that this meeting involved you as well. And you were at a severe disadvantage in that you are the odd one out, the one intruding into his family unit.

So he’d found himself asking if you wanted to help him before he’d even realised. Part of him felt bad about it as it meant that the girl would be coming home to someone they don’t know, but he figured that they already knew they were meeting you anyway. It would at least allow you to calm yourself down and get a little more comfortable in his home before you finally meet his daughters.

Which was why he was currently walking down the aisle of the grocery store, hand tightly entwined with yours as he pondered what to make for dinner. He was actually glad that you were here for that and he posed the question to you, causing you to hum lightly as you lean into him.

“What do the girls like?” The question throws him a little and he frowns, looking at the rows of microwaveable rice before glancing back at you.

“Well...what do you want to eat though? You’re the reason we’re having a special dinner.” He can hear the soft sigh you give, your head resting against his shoulder and his chest warms at the small gesture of affection. It might not seem much to others but to someone as romantically starved as him, it was unbelievably fulfilling.

Pulling away from him, you move back until you’re gently tugging at him to move and he follows you quietly. “No, we’re going to cook what your daughters love to eat because this is going to be an awkward time for them and their favourite home cooked meal will be one less thing they have to worry about. So what do they like to eat?”

His heart flips at the concern and warmth in your voice, causing him to smile as he glances down, tugging you closer and kissing your forehead quickly. “We’ll make lasagne, they all like that and it’ll give us plenty of food. You like that right? And I know you like garlic bread.”

You grin impishly at that, nodding enthusiastically and he chuckles. “I’ll go get the stuff for the bread, you get the stuff for the lasagne yeah? Should I…” A pause causes him to look at you with a raised brow, watching the indecision flutter across your face before carrying on. “Should I get them anything? Like...a present or...chocolate or something?”

“No, don’t get them anything. I mean maybe you should but...I don’t personally like the idea. I don’t want them to feel like you’re trying to buy their affection and love. Just...be yourself.” There’s a brief hesitation before you nod almost shyly, arm moving to cover your stomach in a protective gesture before you head off in search of the ingredients.

Time seems to move faster after that and before he realises it, it’s already time for him to go collect the girls from his parents. The house had been fully tidied and cleaned, though he’d wondered why on earth he was doing that when you were literally cleaning it with him but something he’d discovered today was that apparently you had a strange kink for cleaning.

Not even sexual, you just liked to clean. He’d laughed when he’d discovered that, your excitement at the Dyson vacuum cleaner he’d produced spurring on the new revelation and he’d proclaimed that he had a house that would bring you eternal joy.

Three children meant there was no such thing as a clean house, just organised chaos. And sometimes not even organised, just plain chaos. 

But true to your word, you hadn’t uttered a single complaint and had instead sung loudly to the music he’d played on the speakers that were connected to his phone. He’d had a whole moment of affectionate bemusement as he’d watched you wiggle around the living room, singing while you even dusted for him.

There had been a few moments of quietness from you when you’d noted the pictures of Yoo-jin on the mantle of the fireplace. He kept a few dotted around the house for the girls and he’d worried for a moment that you’d feel jealous or annoyed.

Instead, you’d simply picked up the silver framed wedding photograph, taking note of the younger Hoseok in a suit and the pretty girl in a beautiful wedding dress next to him, both smiling so brightly with a small Soo-ah in his arms. It was his favourite picture of Yoo-jin and he still felt a bubble of love for her when he looked at it.

Which is why he hoped you wouldn’t be mean. And you hadn’t been, instead looking at him with a small smile and carefully placing the frame onto the floor before moving the others as well. “She was beautiful.”

And then you’d knelt down on the floor and carefully polished the frames until they were spotless, giving them a level of care and attention that had him having to leave the room so that you couldn’t see the tears in his eyes.

Once he’d recovered himself, he’d gone back in and sorted out storing the many toys away while telling you stories behind some of the pictures and preening ever so slightly over how you cooed over the photos of his daughters. Damn right they were cute.

Now though, he was shrugging on a jacket and picking up his car keys to go get them and bring them home. It’s only when he looks back round that he sees the way your shoulders are curled inwards, making yourself small while your hands cross over your chest. 

Moving back over, he hugs you tightly to him before kissing your forehead as your chin rests on his chest, nerves evident in every part of you. “Hey, come on. It’ll be okay. Remember, if they don’t respond well tonight then it’s just the first time. Don’t take it to heart.”

“I know. It’s just...I don’t really know what to do, you know? Never met my boyfriend’s kids before.” A quiet laugh leaves him before he dips down, pressing his lips to your own in a quick kiss.

“I love you,” He turns around and heads to the door, knowing that you’re probably going to end up cleaning something else. Part of him wonders if he should have you leave and come back in half an hour but that seems stupid. So he shakes his head and opens the door, looking back at you and smiling. “Please, try and relax a little.”

“Okay. Love you.”

-

Pulling into the driveway, Hoseok takes a deep breath to fortify his nerves before glancing into the mirror to check on the twins in the backseat. His parents had, as expected, spoilt all three and the twin’s were coming home with Funko figures each to put on their shelves while Soo-ah had a ridiculously thick book of horse breeds.

One day, he worried that he might be expected to buy her a horse. He didn’t like horses, and he certainly didn’t want to own one. You were currently convincing him to let her have horse riding lessons and he was considering it as her Christmas present, but he still worried immensely that she would get hurt.

Still, she was slowly proving that it wasn’t a phase and he knew that he was going to have to relent sooner rather than later. He didn’t want to be the dad who stifled her passions and dreams, even if it could potentially cause interest.

“Okay everyone, we’re back. Now...as I said before, Y/N is already here. She helped me to make dinner and clean the house for you guys! So it’s all clean. Ideally, I’d like you to keep it clean but I know you rascals,” He eyes the twins at that and they both give him identical toothy grins. “Are probably going to mess it all up.”

“Grandma was excited.” Ji-eun blurts out, her expression mischievous as if she was fully aware that she was tattling on his own mother. He can’t help the smile that spreads as he imagines his mom gushing to them. She’d spent years now trying to get him to finally move on, so needless to say, she’d been beyond ecstatic when he’d told her last week that he was going to introduce the girls to you.

“Grandma needs to learn to keep her nose out,” He mused quietly before laughing. “Anyway, I’m just going to ask one last time...please be good for me? Be on your best behaviour and be polite. You don’t have to like her, but I did not raise rude girls, right?” 

The stern look he gives the twins causes them to give him carefully blank faces as they nod slowly. He eyes them for a moment longer, knowing that trouble was never far with them, before turning to Soo-ah. She sits next to him in the passenger seat quietly, arms wrapped around the book and her hair in low pigtails.

“Soo-ah?” She tenses slightly when he says her name before looking at him, her brown eyes filled with so many emotions he didn’t understand. But despite all that, she nods slowly while her lips purse out.

Before he can say anything else, the twins are rushing out of the car and bolting over towards the door. He swore under his breath before getting out of the car himself, watching with resignation as they rush inside.

Looking back at Soo-ah, he sees her quietly getting out and closing the door in a much more gentler fashion than her excitable sisters. Hoseok can’t help but walk over to her, crouching down and looking up at her as he takes one of her hands gently between his own. The fact he has to look up at her now while crouching makes him sad, yet he’s so proud of her too.

“Soo-soo...if you don’t want to do this then you can tell me. You don’t have to meet her. I can ask her to go home, or I can take you back to your grandparents if you want. I’m not going to force you to do something that you don’t want to do, okay?” The only sounds for a few moments are the chirping of the birds in the trees that line the street and a car engine in the distance.

“It’s okay dad. She can stay. I’ll meet her.” His brow creases and he reaches up to run his hand down her hair slowly.

“Are you sure?” One more time, just to make doubly sure because he knows his daughter well. And he knows that she’s not entirely happy, but what can he do when she’s verbally telling him it’s okay? He’s giving plenty of chances for her to back out and he wouldn’t be mad at her. Sad, yes, but not angry. 

“Yes daddy.” And with that, she heads into the house as well. He’s left to stand there, face grimaced as he wonders if he should just call it all off. But then he suddenly realises that you’re on your own in there, with his daughters.

“Shit.” He curses and runs inside, faltering in the doorway that leads into the living room. The twins are sat on the couch while Soo-ah is in the arm chair, all three quiet and looking at you like you’re something fascinating. They’re pretty relaxed whereas you’re stiff as a board in the doorway to the kitchen, a brittle smile on your face that turns into one of relief when you see him.

“Hey err...we’re back? Obviously.  Erm, okay well. Girls, this is Y/N, my...girlfriend,” He doesn’t really know if he’s meant to be introducing you as that or just his friend, but they’d already figured it out the other night anyway. “Y/N, this is my eldest daughter, Soo-ah. And this is Ji-soo with her hair down and Ji-eun with her hair in a ponytail.”

“Hello Y/N.” The twins said at the same time, their voices light and whimsical and he almost hisses at how creepy they sound. They’re doing it purposefully, he can see the shine in their eyes because they know people find it weird when they do that. Soo-ah simply gives a polite hello of her own, dipping her head ever so slightly in welcome.

“Hi...erm,” He can tell that you’re struggling to say something and he so desperately wants to go over and place a reassuring arm around you. But he can’t, because he feels he should be with the girls instead. “It’s nice to meet you all. Your dad has told me so much about you.”

The sudden ringing of an alarm in the kitchen interrupts whatever else you were about to say and Hoseok jerks, eyes glancing behind you to the room. “Okay, girls...clean up and then come to the table. Be quick, we’re having lasagne.”

That gets a bright smile from all three as they jump up and rush towards the bathroom situated downstairs, eager to wash their hands before going into the dining room. You’d set the table earlier for him once he’d shown you where everything was and even now, you were helping him by bringing some of the food into the room.

His daughters were smiling in delight as he served the lasagne out to them, his own stomach rumbling at the smell and he realised belatedly that neither you nor him had eaten since breakfast. The plate you place down with garlic bread is soon emptied, with Hoseok making sure to grab two pieces and place one on your own plate.

It’s odd, having five people at the table instead of three, he thinks to himself as he sits down after handing you the plate with your own lasagne. All of them are used to it being just the four of them, with Soo-ah normally sitting next to Hoseok while the twins sit opposite. But today, Hoseok is sat at the end of the table with Soo-ah next to him on the right while you’re next to him on the left. 

It unnerves him a little, taking this weird head of the table position but he doesn’t mention it as he takes a mouthful of lasagne. A quiet hum of appreciation comes from you and he glances over, chewing and smiling at the way your eyes close in delight.

“Daddy! Ji-soo has more than me!” Ji-eun complains before shrieking as her sister pinches her arm. Already, Hoseok has visions of a full fight blowing up between the two because if they’re not being sweet with each other then they’re having astonishing fights and Ji-eun is already turning around to retaliate.

“Hey! What did I say earlier? Best behaviour. Do not fight.” Hoseok hisses at them, eyes narrowing as he gestures a finger at them. Both girls slump down in their chairs, sauce covered lips pursing as they glare at each other. 

And then, as always with their contradictory nature, Ji-soo carefully cuts a piece of lasagne and places it on her sister’s plate without a word. Ji-eun smiles happily and eats it, doing a little butt wiggle dance in her seat in victory and Hoseok has to fight the urge to laugh at them.

Glancing at you, he notes your widened eyes at his sudden rebuke and his cheeks heat up. “Sorry. You get used to it. They’re either working together to cause trouble or they’re fighting with each other.”

You nod slowly at his explanation before a wry smile spreads, eyes flicking back over to the girls who are now sat being good as gold. “It’s okay. I had a friend in high school who was a twin. They had the worst fights but you did not want to come between them. It must be nice to have someone who will always be there for you.”

“You know someone with a twin too?!” Ji-soo exclaims loudly, her pretty eyes going wide with astonishment and Hoseok doesn’t even bother to stop his laugh this time. They’d never met any other twins before and they knew from people’s reactions that they were pretty special.

“I did! I’m not friends with them anymore but she had a twin brother, not a sister like you two. They had a special language that they would talk in and only they understood it.” At that, Ji-eun is the one to squeal in excitement as she claps her hands.

“We do! Daddy hates it when we do.” He grumbles good naturedly at that, pointing at them with his fork before taking another bite of lasagne with a grin. 

“Yeah, it was very strange listening to them. But that’s special though, it means that only you two will ever be able to understand it so it’s something that only you share.” They nod slowly, smiling brightly at your encouragement and his heart warms at how they seem to be pretty accepting of you so far.

His eyes flicker to Soo-ah who’s eating methodically, keeping quiet. She’s always been a quiet girl, but he feels like the silence is more oppressive this time and he chews slowly, wondering how to get her involved too.

You’re talking to the twins now about your favourite Marvel movie, because he’d told you all about their love of the superhero genre and it was a pretty easy way to win favour with them. It seemed to be working too, as Ji-soo was sidling up to you as close as she could get in her chair, her eyes stern with concentration as she discusses in her five-year-old language why she thinks that Black Panther is the best movie.

Which is then countered by Ji-eun’s outraged shout as she disagrees vehemently, proclaiming that the best film is obviously Captain Marvel because she’s a girl and she’s cool and powerful. It leaves him to smile as he rolls his eyes, you throwing your own hat into the ring with the suggestion that your own favourite film is the first Avengers.

He contemplates if he should have warned you about the fact that they’ll never stop talking now that you’ve shown an interest in their favourite subject ever. At least he’d never really mentioned their second passion lately which was Pokemon. 

Admittedly, he was on board with both of these passions but he’d spent so long now discussing them with two overly eager daughters that the very subjects inspired more of a sigh than excitement. Though he would still be taking them to see every film that came out.

“Soo-ah, did you know that Y/N goes horse riding? She even used to do show jumping in high school.” He gestures towards you with an overly bright smile, hoping that discussing his eldest’s favourite passion would encourage her to engage with you in the same way.

All he gets is a sullen look and a shrug before she puts another forkful in her mouth. Despair fills him momentarily but he’s surprised when you take the initiative and take up the conversation he’d suggested. He hadn’t even realised you were listening to him.

“I did! I used to go to competitions on the weekends with my horse, Artemis. She was a really good jumper but I wasn’t very good with her unfortunately. We never really won anything but it was just for fun. Now I just ride whenever I get time. Artemis is pretty old now so we just go trail riding.” Hoseok smiles as your eyes light up as you discuss your horse.

He knew that you were expecting to lose her any time now and it would probably hugely devastate you. After all, you’d had her since you were only 14 and she was still here, 17 years later.

“Cool.” Is the only response he gets from his daughter and he has to bite his tongue in frustration. He’d known that she was going to be the hard one to crack, but he didn’t think she was going to be this cold about it all.

“I think you’d like Artemis, Soo-soo. She’s a...Dutch Warmblood?” He looks at you in question, relieved when you nod in confirmation before he’s smiling back at his daughter. “You told me about those, right? They’re supposed to be really good at that kind of stuff? Maybe, if you want, Y/N will let you ride her.” 

“Of course, she’s really sweet and she’d be good for someone who’s never ridden. She’s old now but as long as you’re not mean with her then she’d be happy to take you round a ring. I think that you’d find her very pretty. She used to be dapple grey but is now just pretty much white.” You say with a smile, turning your head as Ji-soo asks if she can ride too.

“I don’t care.” Soo-ah says suddenly, her voice firm and raised and Hoseok looks at her sharply. Her cheeks are flushed while her brows dip inwards, annoyance and anger written all over her face. “I don’t care about your stupid horse or your stupid riding. I don’t care!”

The silence at the table is awkward after that and Hoseok feels numb, unsure what he’s supposed to do to resolve this situation. So he carefully places his cutlery down on his cleared plate and coughs quietly, giving Soo-ah a smile.

“Soo-ah, sweetheart. It’s okay-” He’s cut off immediately though, as if a switch has been flipped in her.

“Stop saying that! It’s not going to be okay! Because she’s going to come here and ruin everything! You’re going to forget about mom and we have to accept her! I won’t! I don’t care about you! I hate you!” She spat viciously at you but despite her anger, there’s tears brimming in her eyes and Hoseok has never felt more helpless. “I don’t want to talk to you! My dad might love you but I won’t! I never will! I love my mom!”

And with that, she slams her chair out of the way and storms out of the room. The thundering of her feet on the stairs as she runs to her room is soon followed by the resounding slam of her bedroom door and Hoseok feels stunned.

Blinking for a few moments, he watches as the twins faces crease slightly and he can see the tears in their own eyes as uncertainty and fear fills them. They glance between him, you and the doorway and he knows they don’t know what to do.

Are they supposed to be angry with you too, like their sister? He doesn’t want that, and so he clears his tight throat and smiles at them both, a little stiff but they still relax a little.

“It’s okay. Soo-ah’s...not happy about me bringing Y/N here. And she’s allowed to feel that, I’m not mad at her,” Okay, so he was a little bit as she’d just been incredibly rude and mean but it was already fading because most importantly, he understood her. “If you aren’t happy either, then you can tell me. It’s okay.”

Ji-soo looks at him, her beautiful brown eyes shining with unshed tears that she wipes away with a firm hand before shaking her head. “I’m okay daddy. Is Soo-ah okay?”

“She...will be. I’m sure. She’s just...it’s hard for her.” He smiles slightly, moving into Soo-ah’s chair to brush a few strands of hair out of Ji-eun’s face as she watches him quietly. Without even saying anything, she shuffles closer and leans against his side.

“Because she had mommy right?” The question is quiet and his throat feels so tight that it’s hard to swallow. They may only be five, but his twins are so smart and caring.

“Yeah, because she had mommy. So she remembers her, and she’s just worried. But we’re not gonna forget about mommy. She will always be important, okay?” He presses his lips to Ji-eun’s head, kissing her hair before looking at Ji-soo and giving her a reassuring smile.

They’re both quiet for a moment before nodding, and his heart swells with emotion as Jisoo turns to you and takes your hand in her own small ones. “It’s okay. We like you.”

He doesn’t get to see your reaction as he’s looking back at the doorway, wondering if he should go to her and check that she’s doing okay or just let her cool down. On the one hand, he doesn’t want her to feel suffocated when she’s obviously upset but at the same time, he doesn’t want her to feel like he’s abandoning her.

“Go.” You whisper and he looks back sharply, catching your eye as you gesture your head to the door. “It’s okay. Go.”

He stands up and goes to make a move before hesitating, uncertainty in him. You give him another nod and he lets out a deep sigh as his shoulders fall.

“I’ll be right back,” Hoseok smiles awkwardly, mouth stiff as he avoids your eyes. “Be good girls okay? I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He bends down and kisses the twin’s heads, taking in their expression to make sure they’re okay and feeling a bit of relief as their faces are cautiously neutral.

“It’s okay Hoseok, go check on her. I’ll be okay. I’m sure that we can find something fun to do, right?” You give him a tight smile, nerves evident as you look back at the twins with tentative hope. They’d reacted pretty well to Soo-ah’s outburst but he was worried that they might be mean while he was gone. But you give him a ‘go’ look and he knows that you can look after yourself.

So he heads out, feeling a little bad that he’s leaving the table but he has to at least check on Soo-ah. He isn’t sure if he’s supposed to be ignoring her or not but that feels wrong in his gut. She’s already worried about things he doesn’t even know yet, he’d rather not add to that by not coming to see her. At least she knows that her dad is always there for her, even when she doesn’t want him.

Her door is firmly closed and he stands outside it for a moment, hands clenching and unclenching as he’s unsure what to do now. This isn’t a conversation he really knows how to have, but he takes it as a positive really. It at least means that her life since Yoo-jin’s death hasn’t been too tumultuous. 

Taking a deep breath, he raps his knuckles against the door quietly and leans forward, his ear almost pressed to the door. “Soo-ah? It’s dad...are you okay?”

Silence answers him and his stomach sinks. He desperately wants to go in and comfort her, make her smile or just talk to her about her concerns but he’s been very clear over the years about their personal space. A closed door means that he can’t enter without their permission.

It might seem a little extreme given young they all are, but as the only male in the house he felt it was necessary to set those boundaries. When their door was closed, he wouldn’t go in unless invited. They’d grown to be pretty respectful of that for him as well and he was immensely relieved at the high levels of trust they all had with each other all ready.

They needed to know that they had a space that was private and safe, only for them. Which is why he lets out yet another deep sigh, his forehead resting against the white painted wood. It’s at moments like this that he wishes Yoo-jin were still here, so that she can help.

A flash of guilt runs through him then, both for wishing that she was alive when it meant he wouldn’t be with you but also because he is here with his daughters and Yoo-jin isn’t. Swallowing, he pushes that thought away before trying again.

“Soo-soo...I’m not...I’m not mad at you. I know you, and I know that you’re not mean or cruel. You’re just...I know this is confusing for you, and it’s hard. I’m not angry, and neither is Y/N. We understand, but I wish you’d talk to me. Please, let me know what’s upsetting you exactly.” Hoseok really isn’t sure what he’s meant to be saying to her but he’s speaking the truth; he isn’t mad with her.

He was at first, when the biting words spilled out of her. Firstly because he was simply shocked that his daughter could be that rude and mean but then secondly because he’d seen the hurt that had flashed over your face at her blunt rejection. But that had gone quickly when he’d seen the film of tears that had glazed over his little girl’s eyes and he’d known that she only lashing out because she was confused and scared.

“Soo-soo…” His voice trailed off, uncertainty over what to do when he heard noises from inside and his heart jumped a little. 

“Go away dad,” Soo-ah’s voice was strained and he could practically hear the tears, causing his face to grimace as his paternal instincts screamed at him to go to his hurting daughter. “Leave me alone.”

“Soo-ah...sweetheart…”

“Go away!” The words are shrill and he closes his eyes, feeling his whole body drain of energy as he recognises a losing battle. Well, no one can say he didn’t at least try. And at least he’s come to her, even if she doesn’t want him there. It’s not even one of those scenarios where she’s telling him to go away but he can tell she actually wants him there.

This is one of those times when she evidently wants to be left alone. So he will, for now at least.

“Okay Soo-ah, I’ll go. But I’m downstairs if you need me. Just come, or call, and I’ll come up okay? I’m not mad, you can talk to me,” He rests his hand on the door, trying to push through his love and affection to her. “I love you.”

With that, he lets his shoulders slump in defeat, waiting a few moments longer to see if she would come out before walking back down the hall. As much as he’d love to sit and wait her out, he has two other daughters that he needs to be worrying about. Two twin five-year-old’s, actually, who he’s left alone with you.

The realisation causes him to pause, eyes widening as he realises the carnage he could have potentially left you with. They’re handfuls with him, and he at least has the authority to ground them or tell them off. He can’t even imagine how easily they’re running you around.

Rushing down the stairs, he moves into the dining room only to pause in confusion, noting the suspiciously clean table. Heading through to the kitchen, he hears the dishwasher running and is even more confused.

The girl’s don’t know how to use the dishwasher, which must mean that you’d put them in there for him. Guilt rises immediately as he realises that you’ve cleaned up dinner for him, giving him one less thing to do. He appreciates it, but at the same time, he can’t help but think his mom would be scolding him right now.

You’re a guest in his house. Therefore, you should not be cleaning up after yourself. He should be doing that for you.

A sudden peal of bright, girlish laughter from the living room distracts him and he headed through the doorway in pursuit of it. The scene he comes across makes him pause in surprise, head tilting for a moment before a smile spreads and he rests his shoulder against the frame.

None of them have seen him yet, but the twins had you down on the floor with them as they showed you their expansive toy collection. Currently, they had the whole set of Avengers dolls along with others he’d bought for them from the Marvel collection. They were most definitely superhero girls, and currently they were fighting over who got to play as Captain Marvel.

Despite the fact they had three versions of her, but he’d discovered over the years that if one of them wanted something then the other wanted it twice as much. You were sat between them both, a bemused smile on your face as you held a Shuri and Black Panther doll in each hand, looking them over intently.

“Hey, hey! Come on now, let’s not fight, yeah? How about...neither of you be Captain Marvel because you’re both fighting? Why not be someone else? Shuri’s really cool,” You wiggle the doll with a grin, brows raising as you raise her arms up and pretend to fire lasers like in the film. “And then we’ve also got Nebula!”

“Nebula’s bad!” Ji-soo pouted, flopping down onto her butt and crossing her arms. Ji-eun pushed her immediately, laughing loudly as her sister fell over.

“Nebula’s cool! I wanna be her.” She grabbed the doll from you quickly and grinned up at you, pushing the sheet of black hair out of her eyes and behind her ear. He really did need to get their hair cut. It was a mess of tangles as usual right now, causing him to sigh as he knew how much of a struggle it was to get them to sit still and have their hair brushed.

“Nuh-uh, Shuri’s the best. She’s smart. I’m smarter than you.” Hoseok has to bite his lower lip to keep the chuckle inside that so desperately wants to escape as he watches your face fall slightly as they begin to fight once more. Welcome to his world, he thinks to himself, fully amused.

“Hey now, what have I told you both about fighting?” He says sternly, heading into the room and standing over them both with raised brows. There’s absolutely no need to look at you, because he’s fully aware that he’s using his dad voice right. 

And he was equally aware of your thoughts about his ‘dad’ voice, given all the times he’d been on the phone with you and suddenly had to to tell them off, or when he’d given them their goodnight call when they were with their grandparents. It had made him embarrassed at first, to realise his voice changed that much but you’d just been thoroughly amused.

Ji-soo immediately smiles at him, rushing up to her feet and running over to him with Shuri clasped tightly in her hand. He laughed loudly and came back over with her, small hand clasped tightly in his own as she directed him to sit on the floor next to you. Looking over at you with a small smile, he leans over and whispers to you.

“Thank you for cleaning up, but you really didn’t have to.”

“Hoseok, I was alone with twin five-year-old’s that I don’t know. When I’m anxious, I clean. Besides, it wasn’t any trouble and they wanted to help.” His brows rose at that and he looked back at the twin’s, taking in the sloping noses that resembled his own so strongly.

“Wow...so it’s just daddy that you won’t help, huh?” Pressing a hand to his chest, he pouts dramatically in a wounded tone that has Ji-eun giggling as she launches herself at him and settles in his lap. She’s getting too big to be doing this, but he won’t complain. One day, she won’t do it all.

“Daddy said we have to be good.” His heart warmed at that and an immense flush of pride swelled deep within, pressing a kiss to her head in pure paternal love. Glancing back at you, his cheeks flushed slightly at the look of adoration you give him and he just knows that you’re internally screaming at his interaction.

“So. If you’re Nebula, and Ji-soo is Shuri...then what can Y/N and I be? What about...if I’m Captain Marvel?” Ji-eun gasps loudly, shaking her head furiously and he splutters out a mouthful of hair as her ponytail smacks him firmly in the face.

“No daddy! You can’t. You have to be Iron Man!” He lets out another gasp, not actually bothered because Iron Man was cool but he’d actually wanted to be Captain Marvel. The film was great, sue him.

“Why? Because I’m a boy!” Yet he doesn’t push away the Iron Man doll, he calls them dolls purely because figurine is probably too hard for them to say to right now. The red and gold figurine is well used, scratches and dents marring the plastic surface from the intense playing they’d given him over the years.

Which included seeing if he could fly by throwing him out of the window onto the drive. That would have just gotten an eye roll from him normally, except they’d thrown him with some force and he’d landed firmly on Hoseok’s car. Who would have known that such a small toy would cause such a scratch on the windscreen?

“No daddy, because Y/N can be Pepper.” Ji-soo hands you a doll, smaller than the others and from the Iron Man 3 film but just as good. You take it from her with a gracious smile but he can see the confusion in your eyes as to why you have to be Pepper Potts and not one of the other superheroes. 

He doesn’t even think to question the fact that his kids that are doing that odd thing where they both seem to know exactly what the other is thinking. 

“Why Pepper? Why can’t she be Captain Marvel if I can’t?” Playfully, he pushes at the doll in Ji-eun’s hands and she giggles sweetly, looking up at him with those warm brown eyes that he loves so dearly.

“Because Iron Man loves Pepper, and you love Y/N.” Well...there’s not much room for argument there really. His cheeks once more flush red as he steadfastly avoids your eyes, oddly embarrassed at his daughters for outing him so thoroughly to you. You knew he loved you obviously, but the easy acceptance with which they react makes him feel a little odd. 

He doesn’t really know why, but he pushes it away and takes a deep breath. “Okay sweetpea. Now then...what bad guy are we fighting?” 

-

Soo-ah doesn’t come down for the rest of the night, nor does she let Hoseok into her room whenever he comes to check on her. It fills him with worry and he knows that he spends most of the night looking at the ceiling in anxiety.

He knows that, because he’s had more than a few comforting touches or smiles from you throughout the evening. An hour of playing with the twins had soon turned into them sitting with both Hoseok and you on the couch while episodes of Pokemon played on the flat screen television.

They seemed to have got along with you pretty well, and while they certainly weren’t being overly accommodating, they had been open enough that he got the impression that everything was going to be pretty okay with them. You had enough common interests with them to keep them entertained and he had the added benefit of them both being influenced by each other.

So if one really liked you, then the other would come around soon.

Ji-soo in particular seemed to be the one that he suspected would latch onto you with a few more visits. She was already more than enamoured in the stories you’d told her of the places that you’d been over the years and he wondered if you knew that you were probably going to end up with two little shadows soon enough.

After a few episodes of Pokemon, he’d put on Detective Pikachu at Ji-eun’s request because you hadn’t seen it before and they found that to be a complete travesty. It had been around 8pm then and he was being generous in letting them stay up later than he normally would in honour of your visit.

The first hour of the film had involved you having to spend more time listening to the running commentary from the twin’s as they explained important plot points, or what they was important, and point out every little thing. He was pretty sure that you hadn’t actually been able to properly watch any of it, and he made a mental note to watch it again with you at a later date.

And then everything had gone silent. He’d been so invested in his own thoughts and worry about Soo-ah that he hadn’t even noticed until the credits were rolling and no one had complained about it.

Turning his head, he couldn’t help the smile that spread over his face as he took in the sight next to him. Something he probably hadn’t expected to happen for months, but evidently all three were more tired than he’d anticipated.

Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he quietly unlocked it and turned on the camera before taking a picture. Staring at his screen, he grinned and set it to his home screen and placed his phone on the arm of the couch.

Ji-eun was curled up next to her sister, her head resting on Ji-soo’s shoulder until their hair blended together perfectly. Ji-soo on the other hand, was curled up into your side, your arm resting around them both while your head had fallen back against the couch, all three sleeping quietly and he felt a ridiculous amount of warmth and love for you all.

Carefully, he stood up and lifted Ji-eun up as slowly as he could so as not to wake her. She made a soft little noise of complaint in his arms but didn’t stir, not until he was shifting her bed covers until he could get her beneath them. Ideally, he’d like to get her into her pyjamas and have her brush her teeth, but he knew that if he tried to wake her then he’d just have grumpiness followed by an inability to sleep for another few hours.

So this time, he’d let them sleep in their clothes. 

He repeated the same actions with Ji-soo before giving them both a kiss on the head and whispering good night to them, turning off the lamp in their room and closing the door behind him while their night light glowed warmly. Heading back downstairs, he was left with the sight of you fast asleep on the couch.

Hoseok realised that he really, really liked the sight of you in his home like this. It was an odd feeling and he shook his head, moving into the kitchen and looking in the fridge. The dish of lasagne had been left on the side, some foil covering it as it had cooled and he looked inside casually.

There was one slice left, and without a word he put it into a small tupperware tub before heading back into the living room. Crouching down next to you, he placed his hand on your knee and pushed gently while calling out your name to wake you.

A quiet groan left you as you blinked blearily, eyes glazed until they focused on him. They were blank for a moment before filling with warmth as he smiled up at you. Glancing to the side, you frowned slightly at the missing girls and he laughed slightly, standing up and taking your hand to pull you up.

You wobbled slightly, leaning your weight against him as you got your balance but he took care of that by wrapping his arms around your shoulders and hugging you to him tightly. Neither said anything for a few minutes, just simply enjoying the feeling of being in each others arms and he wished that you didn’t have to go.

“Tonight was...good. I love the twins already, they’re...characters,” You chuckle against his chest and he can’t help but laugh in return as he nods. “But sweet. I really like them. And who knew you were this good at cooking hmm? Really got myself a man who can do it all huh?”

His cheeks burn bright red then as he makes a few protesting noises but you shush him loudly, leaning your chin on his chest to look up at him with an adoring expression. “I love you. Your family...is wonderful. I can feel the love between you all, it’s...really nice. Even with Soo-ah. I was a bit awkward but I can understand why she feels like that. I hope that she can come round to me.”

“I’m sure she will. One day. I’m not going to push her though. I feel bad about it because I knew she wasn’t okay with it, but she kept telling me she was. Maybe I moved too fast with it all.” You shake your head in response, tightening your arms around him and pressing a kiss to his chest.

“She’s a big girl, and if she tells you that she’s okay with something then you have to take her at face value sometimes. We all do things that we don’t really want to do. I get the feeling that she was trying for you and at least the ice is broken now. If she refuses to have anything to do with me then...that’s within her rights I guess. At least I’ve met her. Don’t beat yourself up about it, please.” He lets out a bone deep sigh before nodding slowly.

“Okay. Thank you. For today...everything. I...despite the thing with Soo-ah, I’m really happy. Like...really, I’m so glad that the twins seem to like you a lot.” Pulling away from him, you grin as you head out into the hallway and grab your jacket and bag.

“I’m glad that you’re happy. You deserve some happiness too Hoseok, remember that.” Nodding, he catches sight of one of the photographs of Yoo-jin on the wall and swallows thickly. You were right, he did deserve to be happy as well. Yoo-jin wouldn’t want him to wallow forever.

“Oh, you can take the last of the lasagne. This is not going to get eaten unless it’s by me having midnight munchies, and I do not need the extra weight.” Patting his stomach, he held out the container which you took with a bemused expression.

“You make out like you’re overweight Hoseok. You’re not. You’re cuddly sized.” The teasing in your voice causes him to roll his eyes but he just accepts you hug once more, the muffled thanks from you taken in gratitude as he takes a deep inhale of you.

“Be safe. Drive carefully. Text me when you get home.” You exaggeratedly agree to all of his demands before he lets you go, standing in the open door as you turn to him and pull him down into a goodbye kiss. It maybe goes on a little too long, but he doesn’t care.

“I love you.”

“I love you too. Text me.” He says sternly, wagging a finger in your direction as you head over to your car in the darkness.

“Yes dad!”

“Don’t start that again!” But his protest is pointless as you just laugh and get into your car, reversing out of his drive and pulling away. He watches until he can’t see your tail lights anymore before heading back in and locking the door behind him.

His usual nightly routine is followed after that, but after he brushed his teeth and had done his business in the bathroom, he heads back over to Soo-ah’s door and knocks lightly. There’s no answer, and he wonders if she’s gone to sleep.

It makes his heart hurt to think that he can’t resolve this tonight with her, but he decides that he’s going to try and heal the rift between them tomorrow. He has to. He can’t go on with his little girl being mad at him.

After a few more minutes of silence, he sighed heavily and turns off the light before heading into his own bedroom. He spends half an hour beneath the covers of his bed, scrolling through social media and the news on his phone. You haven’t texted him yet, and worry fills him when suddenly, a light knock reverberates around the room.

Sitting up suddenly, he frowns and calls out for whoever it is to come in. The door opens slowly and he’s met with Soo-ah, dressed in her pyjamas and her hair still in the pigtails from earlier. She looks shy and hesitant, her gaze on the floor as one hand crosses over the stomach, holding the doorknob firmly.

“Can I come in daddy?” Immediately he’s nodding, opening his arms to her and she quietly closes the door behind her before rushing over, climbing onto the bed and burying herself in his arms. Even in the dim light of his bedside lamp, he’d recognised the swollen red eyes of someone who has spent a long time crying and he coos to her softly as she wraps her arms around him tightly.

Laying back on the bed, he pulls her with him and kisses her head. “Soo-soo, what’s wrong? I’m not mad at you.”

“Really? I was mean though.” Her voice is more childlike than he’s ever heard it and his heart tugs for her.

“Yeah, I’m not mad. I mean...I wish you hadn’t been mean, but I know that it’s a tough situation for you. Y/N wasn’t mad either. I just...I wish that you would have told me that you didn’t want to and I would have told her to go home. You’re important to me Soo-ah, your comfort is important.” He whispers to her.

“I was okay with it, I swear. I was worried, because I don’t want her to take mom’s place. But I know you like her. And you’ve always been alone,” She pauses, burying her face in his chest while her small arms squeeze him tighter. “I tried, but...I just...I was angry. She’s pretty and smart and funny, and you look at her all funny and it made me angry because she’s not mom.”

Hoseok blinks a few times, trying to stop himself from crying as she blurts out all of her inner feelings. He can’t even imagine how hard this has all been for her, but he lets her continue.

“I want mom, I want mom because she’s pretty and smart and funny too but mom is dead so I can’t have her. But if you’re single then she’s still here. Y/N means that she’s not here anymore, because Y/N will be here and you’ll take down her pictures and then she’ll be our mom but she’s not our mom!” Her words are fast and staccato, not really making too much sense but he doesn’t say anything about it. She’s only ten, and she’s just worried and upset about everything.

“And the twins were being so nice and they didn’t seem to care! I just wanted to scream at them! What about mom! Why does no one remember mom?!” A hiccup soon turns into a sob then and he hugs her tighter to him, letting her cry out her frazzled emotions.

“No one is going to forget mom, okay? I’m not going to forget her and she’s not going to disappear from this house. She will always be here, because you and your sisters are here. There were always be pictures of her in the house for you and I will always talk to you about her, whenever you want. I miss your mom so much, and I still love her. My relationship with Y/N doesn’t mean that she’s going to be forgotten, because she isn't. She is important to all of us and Y/N knows that. She doesn’t want to take your mom’s place, because that place is your mom’s, like I said before.” Pressing a kiss to her head again, he swallows and contemplates how to continue.

“I won’t ever expect you to call Y/N mom, and neither will she. I know you Soo-ah, and I know this is hard for you. Harder than for the twins, because you got five with your mom. But don’t be mad at them. They don’t know any different than it just being us four. They never got to have mom with them, so to them this is all new. I just...I love you all, and I don’t want to hurt any of you.” The final sentence is whispered and he feels more than a little despair.

Silence falls between them for a while before Soo-ah speaks once more.

“Tell me about mommy. Was she nice?” He’s nodding before he even realises it, flicking through his memories of the 7 years he had with Yoo-jin before finding a story for her. And so for the next hour, he proceeds to regale his daughter with all the stories of her mom that she’d never heard before. Stories he’d forgotten over time, but now remembered so vividly.

Glancing at the photograph on the other bedside table of her, his heart hurts as he remembers his beautiful wife. Kissing Soo-ah’s forehead, he smiles down at her.

“You look just like your mom. I know that she’d be so proud of you, you’re such a good girl. I know that she loves you a lot, just like I do. Don’t ever doubt that, okay? No matter what happens, I love you and your mom loves you too.” Soo-ah’s eyes fill with tears once more and she sniffles.

“I’m sorry daddy. I’m sorry I was mean to Y/N. I don’t hate her.” He laughs softly, pulling her back into a bear hug and squeezing her until she giggles, the sound making his heart soar.

“I know you don’t. I know you Soo-soo, and you’ve got too big of a heart to ever hate anyone. She knows that too.” Soo-ah quietens after that and he hums lightly, some song he heard a long time ago but can’t remember the name of. It seems to be working as Soo-ah’s eyes droop closed and she fights desperately to stay awake.

“Tell her I’m sorry. I’ll be nice next time. I swear,” She mutters, voice thick with sleep and he grins and acknowledges it. “Will she still let me ride her horse?”

He desperately wants to laugh at that and part of him wonders how much of this is because she wants to ride a horse. But he’s not going to look a gift horse in the mouth, pun fully intended. He would give Artemis a big, juicy carrot whenever he saw her.

“She’d be happy to. If you want to, then I’ll let her teach you how to ride as well.” A tiny noise of happiness leaves his daughters mouth but she doesn’t say anything further, eyes closing finally before she’s fallen fast asleep.

He doesn’t expect this to be the last time she’ll have an issue with him dating you, in fact he fully expects more issues as she comes to terms with her feelings regarding the whole thing. But at least she came to him and told him what was upsetting her. And more than that, she had apologised for her behaviour. He wanted to apologise to her as well for putting her into the situation, but instead he was just going to have to make sure that he paid more attention next time.

For ten minutes, he simply enjoys the happiness he feels from the reconciliation with his daughter and the exultation he feels at the fact he’s not having to go to sleep with her angry at him. Finally though, he gets up and carefully takes her to her own bed, musing to himself how he ended up doing this with every daughter tonight when he hasn’t had to put Soo-ah to bed like this in years now.

When he gets back to his own, he sees the message icon on his phone blinking and eagerly jumps back into bed, turning the screen on to see that you had finally texted him.

[9:31pm] Y/N: I’m home :)

[9:31pm] Y/N: I stopped at the store and they had a 2 for 1 on your shampoo. 

[9:32pm] Y/N: You can keep one here and take the other home :)

[9:32pm] Y/N: Also bought a candy bar. I’m eating it now. Mmmm

He grins at your texts and shakes his head before his fingers are flying across the screen, typing out his own response.

[9:35pm] Hoseok: Mean, you know I can’t eat candy

[9:36pm] Y/N: We established that was a lie yesterday Mr Jung

[9:36pm] Hoseok: :(

[9:36pm] Y/N: I’d share my candy with you :)

[9:37pm] Hoseok: Ha. Thanks. For the shampoo too <3

[9:37pm] Hoseok: I just put Soo-ah to bed. She came to me. Told me why she was mad. She says sorry

[9:38pm] Y/N: She doesn’t need to apologise! She’s allowed to be mad. Is she okay?

[9:38pm] Hoseok: Yeah, it was exactly what I thought. Worried about her mom. I just have to make sure she knows I won’t forget her

[9:39pm] Y/N: You won’t. I don’t want to take her place. Even though I kind of am but you get what I mean

[9:40pm] Hoseok: I do. And I love you for it

[9:40pm] Y/N: I love you too

[9:41pm] Hoseok: She also wants to know if you’ll still let her ride Artemis

[9:42pm] Y/N: Lol, of course! 

[9:42pm] Hoseok: Kinda said you’d teach her how to ride too

[9:43pm] Y/N: Haha, again, of course. I’d be happy to for you :) and the twins if they want

[9:43pm] Hoseok: Thank you. I’m gonna sleep now. I love you <3

[9:43pm] Y/N: I love you too <3

He grins at the final message before placing his phone on the bedside table and looking at the picture of Yoo-jin and him on his own table. Smiling softly, he reaches out and brings it closer to him, rubbing his thumb over her face beneath the glass.

“I hope you’re okay with this baby. I’m sorry you can’t be here, I wish you were. I hope you’re not mad at me for being with Y/N. I think you’d approve though, I really love her a lot already and she makes me so happy. I miss you, but I hope you’re okay with me moving on. I won’t forget you though, like I told Soo-ah.” Placing the frame back on the table, he turns off the lamp and curls up beneath the covers with a sigh before drifting off to sleep, his dreams filled with his daughters, you and Yoo-jin as a happy family together.

[jayankles]

Why Not Both? Part 3

Pairing: Jensen x Reader x Misha → COCKLES X READER

Word Count: 2188

Warnings: Smut (Felatio, Somnophilia, Angry!Misha, Rough Sex?, come play-ish, Cockles kiss)

Summary: You, Misha and Jensen talk about your feelings for one another and end up in a polyamorous relationship. The three of you are equal and love each other with all your heart. Although the sex is great, is the love the three of you share enough to get you through the surprise that is on the other end of the road.

A/N -@thing-you-do-with-that-thing requested a porn gif drabble with cockles x reader and it turned into this; it’s probably going to become a 5-6 part series. This part focuses on Misha and the reader. I hope you’re proud of yourself Kari.

Masterlist

Just thinking about the ways you could wake up Misha made you even wetter than you already were. You could feel your slick from your first orgasm dripping from your throbbing pussy and down your thigh.

Jensen had left the room, butt ass naked, in a rush to leave you and Misha to have your time together. Licking your lips, you looked back at the naked sleeping man on the bed. His soft, creamy, tanned skin visible from the waist down. God he was a sight.

His chest moved up and down as he breathed softly in his sleep, that was all about to change.

Leaning forward, you delicately flick your tongue against his exposed nipple, the action causing them to pebble, his unconscious body responding to your touch. You repeat the action to the other one, giving it the same amount of attention as its twin, its reaction a replica of the other.

Your fingers itched to touch him so they curled around the top of the sheet, your fingertips brushing against the bushy, dark curls that had grown on his pelvic bone. Slowly, you pulled the sheet from his body, careful not to wake him from his slumber just yet, you hadn’t had your fun in waking him yourself.

There he laid, proud and naked, even in his sleep he looked good and he probably didn’t even know it.

With a lick of your lips, you lowered yourself so that you were lying on your stomach across the bed so that you were at a perpendicular angle. Carefully, you pushed at his left thigh – the one furthest away from you – and lightly dug your fingernails into the meat of his thighs.

His soft cock rests upon his stomach, you eye it hungrily, the taste of him from the previous night settling in your mouth once again, you can’t wait to feel him inside of you but first you need that salty come in your mouth.

You take his length in hand, delicately wrapping your fingers around his shaft and tilting it upwards, towards you. Your thumb rubbed the tip of his cock, his length twitching from sensitivity.

He was starting to wake.

You took the tip of him into your mouth, teeth scraping against the skin. Suddenly, a mix of a gasp and a groan erupted from the base of Misha’s throat as he lurched upwards, sending him further into your mouth.

“Fuck, Y/N/N. What are you doing? Not that I’m complaining but you know, your mouth is on my dick.” His voice is deep and gravely and thick with sleep.

Leisurely, you sat up, leaving his cock with a wet pop. Straddling his naked thigh, you rubbed yourself against him, your slick heat wetting his leg in the process.

“Just enjoying one of my man’s,” you slid your hands up his abdomen and up his chest, your fingers curling around the back of his neck and pulling him up so that he was as close to you as possible, his chest to yours and breaths mingling. “Very sexy bodies. Can’t a woman just enjoy the company of her man? Besides, I missed your taste, you tasted so good last night. Just had to have another helping of you.”

He encouraged your movement on his muscly thigh, his fingernails digging into your hips, pushing and pulling at you to get the friction that the both of you craved so much.

“You’re a greedy little princess, aren’t you? But I think you’re a little wet down there, huh? How did that happen, you start without me?” Misha’s tone darkened, presenting his alter ego, Cas as he called it, he used when scaring the bar ruffians and when some bar patrons’ behaviour got out of hand.

it was hard to tell whether he was angry or aroused. Either one of those turned you on. His facial expression remained neutral, hard to tell whether he was pissed off by the fact that you and Jensen had started without him or he would have been excited, it would have been the both of you and he would experience it through you.

He hadn't said anything. Not yet. It was starting to make your insides crawl with worry. Had you done something wrong by getting Jensen to scratch the itch that you had in the morning after just waking up.

“Mish, I-I’m sorry. I didn't-” before you could proceed with your apology, it was cut short by his lips. They harshly latched onto yours, but giving you time to breathe nor prepare for what was to come next.

He flipped the both of you on the bed, no doubt causing a ruckus with the loud metallic springs in the mattress and the surprised squeals that erupted from your lips after you managed to detach them from Misha’s.

“What did I tell you last night, huh?” He scolded you in an abnormally evil voice, you barely recognised it. When you didn’t answer, he roughly pinned your arms to the side of your head, silently demanded one. “Answer me!”

“You said that my pussy is yours.” You quietly quoted his words, ashamed that you hadn’t let Misha have his fair share of you but his deeper voice doing things to you that had stirred something in the pit of your stomach that you hadn’t experienced before. You were ready for him to do things to you that you hadn’t even thought of doing yet.

But he surprised you, squinting his eyes at you and nodding as you gave him the correct answer. His grip loosened on your wrists but they trailed down the length of your arm, grappling onto your hips, the tips of his fingers finding the bruises he had previously made.

“You disobeyed me, Princess. You didn’t listen to me, did you?”

He really shouldn’t be turning you on but the dominance and the deep voice was a lethal combination that he could use on you.

“I’m sorry, Mish. What are you going to do?” Am I going to be punished? You thought, biting your bottom lip and batting your eye lashes at him. You wouldn’t mind whatever path he chose to take.

Unexpectedly, he flipped you again and lifted your ass into the air.

Swish! Smack! Crack!

You sucked in a breath, gasping at the relatively new sensation, it made your insides tingle and your pussy throb, you were ready for him, whatever he would give you.

“You’ve been a naughty little girl, Y/N/N. Not listening to me when I specifically told you that your sweet little pussy was mine.” He growled, giving your ass another smack. Moaning, you buried your  face into the pillow, hiding a muffled scream; one that bordered on the pain within the pleasure.

He wasn’t fucking around when he told you that he wanted you next.

Teasing you, he rubbed the tip of his cock against your wet slit and down to your clit, not yet penetrating you.

Your pussy clenched around nothing but your hips had a mind of their own, thrusting back against him but another hard hand connected with your ass and you yelped, moving away from him.

He reached around easily finding your clit, his fore and middle finger squeezing the sensitive mound. You cried out, one hand shooting down south, wrapping around his hand, not knowing whether to keep him there or to push them away.

Suddenly, Misha pushed the tip of his cock inside of you, he didn’t give you any time to adjust before he was buried deep within you.

Gasping out his name, you pushed back against him again but his hips snapped and he plunged into you. He was rough, pushing deeper and deeper into you with every thrust of his hips. He set a punishing rhythm; fast and furious but he was drawing pleasure from the both of you and that was all that mattered.

“Mish…oh, f-fuuuck.” You whimpered and whined as he swiveled and gyrated his hips, his pelvis digging into your ass as the sound of skin slapping against each other filled the bedroom. A thin sheet of sweat coated both of your bodies as he fucked into you.

On the other side of the door, Jensen was finishing up the pancakes and eggs, plating them up and setting them on the table. He smirked at the growling and the groaning coming from the bedroom that the three of you had now shared. The sounds of your high pitched whimpers and Misha’s grunting made Jensen’s cock twitch.

He gripped his dick, wrapping his fingers around it and pumping the throbbing length.

Misha’s balls tightened as he got closer to his release, he pinched and rolled your clit in time with his now erratic thrusts. The all too familiar feeling of the coil started winding and tightening in your lower stomach.

With two more hits of his pelvis against yours, he shouted as his release overtook him. He spilled into you, white hot spurts of his come coating your inner walls. Your own orgasm took over your body, you were a quivering mess, your thighs shaking and your stomach and face contorting. Misha twitched inside you, allowing you to milk him for all he had.

Red hand prints welled upon your skin as you and Misha collapsed in a heap of limbs on the bed. After a moment of catching your breaths, he pulled out of you and flopped onto his side next to you. His actions were surprisingly soft and sweet instead of the rough and tough you had experience not too long ago, carefully brushing away any hair that had been stuck to your forehead with the sweat that the both of you had accumulated through your hardcore morning workout.

Puckering his lips, he learned forward, pressing his lips to yours in a slow and sensual kiss. It was unexpected but that was what you got when you were with the unpredictable Misha. Your eyes fluttered closed as he slightly deepened the kiss.

“Mish?” you whispered as you pulled away, biting him bottom lip in the process.

He hummed, stroking the apple of your cheek, looking into your eyes. He was listening.

“Are you really mad? It was my fault…don’t blame Jensen. He said that I should wait but I didn’t lis-”

Once again his lips cut off your apology, silently tell you not only to shut up but that it was okay. That is was an act.

“That answer your question, Princess?”

You blinked your eyes open at the pleasurable surprise attack, fingers trailing up the side of his face and into the dark strands of his hair. “I think I need a little more explanation.” Licking at the corner of your mouth, your lip curled into a smile.

“Unbelievable.” Misha rolled his eyes and you giggled, moving to lie on his back and taking you with him before he kissed you with a smile on both of your faces.

When he pulled away, he peppered tiny kisses over your cheeks and down your neck before he abruptly disappeared, holding out a hand for you to take after you whined at him.

Grabbing onto his outstretched hand, you curled your fingers around them and allowed him to delicately pull you up and into his chest.

Running your hands up his chest and over his shoulders, you asked, “you hungry?”

“Fucking ravenous.” He exclaimed, wrapping his arm around your waist, easily hoisting you into the air, legs instinctively winding around his hips as a feat of giggles and squeals erupted from your lips. “I hear sizzling. Must be the bacon.”

“I think Jens made us breakfast.” You said, tracing a finger over Misha’s lips. “Pancakes and eggs too.”

“God, he’s awesome. Love him.”

You hummed.

“You and me both Mish, you and me both. Let’s go eat.”

Without putting you back on the floor, Misha carried you through your house and into your kitchen as if you weighed nothing. You caught the smirk on his face as he glanced over your shoulder in which you could only assume was in Jensen’s direction.

Misha carefully seated you on the chair, walking over and stealing a piece of the stacked pancakes before he licked off the remnants of the syrup and grabbed Jensen’s wrist.

The latter tilting his head and raising his eyebrow in confusion until a smirk arose on Misha’s face.

Misha brought Jensen’s fist up, keeping eye contact with each other whilst you sat back an watched the interaction of your lovers.

“Enjoy the sounds you heard, Jensen?”

Before Jensen could respond, Misha licked at Jensen’s balled up fist; the salty taste of Jensen’s come coated Misha’s tongue.

All three of your moans filled your kitchen as Misha enjoyed Jensen’s taste but the former wasn’t done, Jensen was pulled closer to Misha and their lips met in a bruising kiss, one more erotic than the one that you had shared with either of them.

“If you don’t stop, our breakfast will be cold and all my efforts will be wasted.”

Needless to say, the three of you had a delicious yet sticky breakfast.