#cockblock myself

[mr-orion]

whenever i see peoples nipples unprompted a thousand little hands reach up my throat and make me wretch like a cat with a hairball

[wernerherzogs]

cheddie posting from yesterday still has me 🥰 maddie being the only one immune to eddie diaz Most Beautiful Man In The World effect ™️

🥰 i'm very happy to hear this, Celeste! honestly all thanks to @buick118 and their madney x eddie posting from a while ago, and also obviously to @caroandcats for having inspired the whole thing yesterday 🫡

[ourlittleuluru]

... One SHOULD NOT attempt any sort of gacha in the middle of 1 am and also while somewhat sleepy... Because... 💸💸💸💸💸💸

This Lumiere.... Really make me hit hard pity all 3 times 😩 like... Xavier please I know you don't even want to get close to your Lumiere persona but your story!!!!

Yeah Xav, like how about summoning you (Lumiere) back home???! 💀

Ramblings under the cut to prevent an extremely long post (⁠^⁠～⁠^⁠;⁠)⁠ゞ

On the 2nd hard pity where I got his guarantee, of course I pulled the pouty bebe first~

Look I know you aren't too happy about this but my good sir, please. I need you 😩

At least my 3rd hard pity, I managed to win my 50/50 🥹 AND get the other memory for the pair. so that's a plus (⁠*⁠´⁠ω⁠｀⁠*⁠)

Now though... I have a wish crate that I have 0 ideas what to do with... I am... One quarter tempted to test my luck to see if I can win another 5050 to get R1 and open the crate for the other... But... No. Logically and statistically, and knowing my luck right now, big N.O. 💀💀💀 I shouldn't push it...

On the bright side of things... I had enough materials so I managed to spam level the two memories~~ all the shards for his Myth are prepared! ᕦ⁠(⁠ò⁠_⁠ó⁠ˇ⁠)⁠ᕤ

And from this, I also managed to R3 3 of his 4 star memories (⁠•⁠ ⁠▽⁠ ⁠•⁠;⁠) which allowed me to speed level his intimacy too. So another plus point! It was twice too!!

Finally unlocked the Heart interaction and it's so sweet 😩

This gacha was a very painful one. Now there's a hole in my heart and wallet. But at least I have him now and I can read his Myth... Soon. It's 2 am by the time I post this and I need sleep 😂😂😂

[everybodyshusband]

something something rulti morning sex. something something rain's a heavy sleeper and swiss woke up horny. something something swiss cumming in rain at least twice before they wake up and three more times after that. something something rain waking up to swiss pressing a kiss to their nose with a "good morning, beautiful" and they smile, not quite awake enough to fully realise what's going on until swiss begins rolling his hips again.

[darkwing-katy]

Help I haven’t even started on the sigil skirt yet nor have I rewatched any Evil and yet Leland is taking over my life again

I do this to MYSELF I know but ahhhhhgh I’m obsessed with this man and I’m supposed to be working on original stories right now, not thiiiiiiiiissssss

(did buy beads and fabric for the skirt, also bought a 3-inch cookie cutter so I can make sure all of my sigils are the same size because I’m weird like that, and now I’m wondering if I can also make a simple goat demon therapist head purse out of felt with little beads of blood trailing out; please someone stop me)

[giantkillerjack]

I miss my shitty sisters so much. I am feeling the family trauma sharp and harsh today. I woke up from a long anxiety dream again. One of the ones where I'm eternally just trying to get a ride home, and my family just can't seem to give me that. There's always one more thing before I can be allowed to go home. My wife is never in these dreams for long because then she'd help me and the dream would no longer be about family anxiety.

This time, I had fallen asleep in real life with my CPAP machine mask on, so the dream was less severe and not about how I couldn't breathe. In fact, I even had nice moments with my family in this dream. Me and my sisters - especially my older sister who was horribly ableist and emotionally abusive to me - seemed to make up. She didn't apologize or anything, but in the dream, I gave in and invited her to hang out with me. And in a way, it was nice. We watched TV together again like we used to. All three of us. Like in some of my very happiest memories of home.

I think that's why waking up felt so painful to me. Because that comfort was ripped away and replaced with the reality that if I invited my sisters and I to have that again, then there is nothing to stop the same pattern of abuse from occurring for the hundredth time. I would become too depressed to eat, then I would become anemic and suicidal again. I refuse to be that hungry every again on their account. I have this eating disorder because of my sister's abuse, and I will not open myself up to undoing all my hard work on my partial recovery just because I miss her.

But gods, I miss her. I miss my little sister too. I miss having a family that feels whole. I miss my old house which is now sold and never to be the place of comfort it was again. I miss feeling like everything was okay between us.

But everything was never truly okay. So much of the extreme conflict we had was from me developing boundaries against bad treatment for the first time in my life. Of refusing to be treated in the ways they had always treated me.

I gave my big sister dozens of second chances, and she blew through all of them with the absolute confidence of a person who believes they will never stop receiving chances. I warned her that there was a limit, I told the rest of the family how much it hurt that they kept insisting I repair the relationship no matter how it affected me - no matter if it had me begging forgiveness for how I reacted to being abused. So much demand to apologize for making space for myself to be away from them so I could be safe or for - gods forbid - shouting about how their ableism endangered the lives of me and my wife. Shouting! How utterly evil to yell when one's life is threatened! Better to bear it with a smile and agree that actually you ARE just dramatic, right??? 🙄

I realized that there simply was no upper limit to the amount of emotional and ableist abuse I could receive from her, from my parents, or from my younger sister that would not result in the other members of the family insisting it is my responsibility to make myself available to repair the relationship. The wholeness of the family unit was more important than the wholeness of me.

So even if I miss them, even if I am sad how sad they are missing me, how sad my parents are that I won't speak to them, even though I still truly love them... I have an inner child inside of me that I will NOT allow them to make hungry and hurt and guilty and confused again! I deserve so much better than how they've treated me! My wife and my friends have proven that!

I am allowed to have grief and boundaries simultaneously. What I grieve is not my choice to make distance - I do not regret this decision, as it is the reason I have been slowly able to get healthier rather than sicker these past 2 years - I grieve that I was treated so poorly that I had no choice but to cut them off.

I grieve it truly and deeply and even in my sleep. I wailed in my bed this morning from the crushing weight of the waves of grief. I let them wash over me. And I let myself feel them. I survive, still breathing, and I continue to sail somewhere new.

[loadednachosao3]

me the entire time I was high: dadmaxxing 3 will be the first porn chapter

me as soon as I sobered up: I'm fucking cockblocking these bitches

[wfuckshit42]

here's my hot take

[fatalhoon]

i am SO mad i just took a nap and had a dream where jisung and i were running around my house (which was actually my friends house but the layout was weird) trying to find a room to ourselves- yk. to fuck in- because for some reason i had siblings everywhere (again i don’t have any siblings?? why are they always fucking up my dreams?? 💀) like every time we went into a room something was wrong like one of them the door literally wouldn’t close because it was blocked by something 😭 and we could just not find anywhere and finally the last room we found was my room?? and the SECOND i got him in my bed i started to hear my tv irl and my arm was falling asleep and it woke me up

[danceswithdarkspawn]

me: *ends the last chapter on a really awkward note*

also me, writing the next chapter and struggling: fuck why does everything feel awkward???

[wanderingpages]

AWH HE SAID HE LOVED YOU before y’all even kissed

It was love at first sight for him fr

Did you guys actually meet in school

Okay but like he was kinda joking about the I love you Lmaooo I think he just said it to say it ? Idk tbh that was a weird time before we got together lol he also kissed me before I even said ok to a date so take that as u will

And not really lmao we met first at lunch one day, through a mutual friend and that was it until about a year later when we were working at a summer camp together

[coyotefather]

i made my first beautiful tav who is just my beautiful titan but in fantasy world. her hair's back since she got the big scar and learned not to block her peripheral vision (strategic)

[pandaemoanium]

had a dream last night that i was at a house party getting high and making out with a gorgeous goth girl on the couch while Bauhaus and NIN was playing in the background, and right as things were getting interesting and clothes started flying off i fucking woke up and couldnt fall asleep again AND IM STILL SO MAD AAAAAAAA

[lildogie]

Shh, no sex now, only politics.