#cocaine vaccine

[randomtheidiot]

I’m in medieval Norway.

I mean… it’s alright, I guess…

But it’s just magical medieval Norway.

You've been isekai'd into a fictional setting. Spin this wheel to find out which one.

[phoenixremix69]

The PJO fandom really is neglecting the inherent comedy of Nico being from the forties and dating a doctor

He has zero idea what a vaccine even is. He haz no clue what PTSD is and thinks he's just hysterical and needs to balance his humors. When he heard they took the cocaine out of coke, he went to a shady dealer so he could mix it in himself because he misses the flavor. Will has just...so much work to do

[reality-detective]

Things that are not in the news anymore… 👇

-Maui wildfires.

-East Palestine, Ohio

-Joe Biden classified documents as a Senator.

-Fauci working with China to create a bioweapon.

-Pete Buttigieg’s best friend in prison for child porn.

-Cocaine in the White House. (TWICE NOW)

-The BLM and Antifa riots during 2020 causing BILLIONS of dollars of damage. And yes I brought this up on Juneteenth.

-The data collected from the Chinese spy balloons.

-Ukraine intelligence documents released that showed they were suffering massive losses and the American taxpayer was being lied to.

-Nancy Pelosi’s “documentary” film crew on J6.

-Veterans being kicked out of shelters to make room for illegals.

-Pizzagate “debunker” jailed for possession of child pornography.

-Gay porn film in Senate hearing room.

-Veterans Affairs prioritizing healthcare of illegals over Veterans.

-THE SOUTHERN BORDER CRISIS.

-Afghanistan drawdown and 13 service members killed in an attack on Kabul International Airport, that they hid the severity of it.

-Obama droning an American citizen in the Middle East.

-George Bush’s false WMDs.

-3 service members killed in Jordan.

-Hunter Biden making over $1M for “paintings”.

-J6 political prisoners that are still in jail.

-85,000 missing children at the southern border.

-Epstein’s clients.

-Obama coordinating with John Brennan and 4 other countries (5 eyes) to spy on the 2016 Trump campaign.

-Mail-in ballots were the cause of the stolen 2020 election.

-Jeffrey Epstein mentioning that Bill Clinton liked his girls “really young”.

-The (NOW TWO) airline whistleblowers that mysteriously died.

-Benghazi (I won’t mention anything more about this because I care about my life.)

-Nancy Pelosi’s daughter stating that January 6th wasn’t an insurrection.

-The January 6th committee destroying encrypted evidence before the GOP took over the House.

-Nancy Pelosi admitting that J6 was “her responsibility”.

-House Speaker Mike Johnson claiming there wouldn’t be foreign aid without border security in the bill, which was a lie.

-The recent riots from illegal criminal aliens at the southern border and the border in general.

-Hunter Biden not complying with a Congressional subpoena and deemed untouchable. Democrat privilege.

-Vaccine side effects.

-“Lab leak” out of China.

-The Secret Service having to basically guide Joe Biden everywhere he goes.

-Who leaked (Sotomayor) the SCOTUS Alito decision.

-Federal instigators inside the Capitol including pipe bomb evidence against them.

-Obama’s chef “passing away”.

-HRC’s chef “passing away”.

-The Sheriff that happened to be in Las Vegas (during the mass shooting) AND the wildfires in Hawaii.

-P Diddy sex-trafficking allegations. Where’s Diddy?

-Gonzalo Lira (an American journalist) that was killed in Ukraine

-Congress approving warrantless spying violating American’s 4th amendment rights while they are exempt.

-Americans that were left in foreign countries (Haiti, Palestine, Afghanistan).

-The billions of dollars of weaponry left in Afghanistan and the Taliban receiving $40M a week in “humanitarian assistance”.

-Biolabs found in California.

-Joe Biden’s impeachment.

-The scum in the UNITED STATES HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES waving the Ukrainian flag.

-The over 300k ballot images that could not be found in Fulton County, Georgia; the same county Donald Trump on trial for “election interference”.

-Democrats defunding the police causing massive rises in crime.

-Kamala Harris’s record as DA in California.

-The Transifesto from the school shooting.

-Many U.S. Representatives and Congress receiving FTX funds.

-They’re already working hard to bury Donald Trump’s àssassination attempt but we won’t let them bury that story. July 13th is never going away.

The distractions are out of control.

Share to show that legacy media is dead and that WE are the media now. 🤔

[cabin13cappuccino]

coming out of my well to shame the fandom re: treating Nico like he's from 1840 rather than 1940 in terms of living with medical innovations

Vaccines for the following diseases were available during this time:

Smallpox- first generation vaccines were available and work on second generation vaccines occured in the 1930s with production of an egg-based vaccine begun by the Texas Department of Health in 1939. DC schools required smallpox vaccination for children to be allowed to attend by 1930, so Nico would have gotten immunized for this even if he didn't get anything else.

Diphtheria- first vaccine was developed in 1913, then a cheaper version in 1924. Yep, it's the "antitoxin" they call for in Balto (1995)- it can be used to either treat active infection or immunize.

Pertussis (whooping cough)- first vaccine was licensed in the US in 1914, then another in 1931, and another that became the basis for the modern vaccine in 1932.

BCG vaccine for Tuberculosis (TB)- first available in 1921, but neither the US nor Italy mandated it. This vaccine is still given around the world today.

Tetanus ("lockjaw") - first vaccine was produced in 1924, then a more effective version in 1938. The combo DTP (diphtheria, pertussis, tetanus) vaccine was first released in 1948 and was used all the way up to 1996 when a new, safer version was released.

Anthrax- the veterinary vaccine in use today is based on the one developed in 1935 in South Africa. The Soviet Union developed a human vaccine that was available beginning in 1940.

Yellow fever- the vaccine still in use today (17D strain) debuted in 1939.

The first rabies vaccine was developed in 1885, for crying out loud!

Penicillin was used to cure infections as early as 1930, though it didn't hit mass-production until 1945. Other antibiotics (Salvarsan and Prontosil) were in use in the early 1900s (by 1910 and 1935, respectively).

Thyroxin (1914) and insulin (1923) were known quantities for treating endocrine disorders.

Medical radiography (x-rays) was a thing before 1900. There were portable ECG/EKG machines as early as 1927.

Cocaine was taken out of Coke in 1903. Like, not even Maria di Angelo would remember that.

Yes, a whole bunch of things changed in medical science between 1942 and the mid-2000s- plenty of fodder for "Will blows Nico's mind with modern medicine." I will even provide suggestions!

Vaccines for major childhood illnesses: polio (1952), measles (1962), mumps (1967), rubella (1969). IMO the polio thing is way slept on given how big the March of Dimes got in the public consciousness.

Closed-chest defibrillation (1950s) and CPR (1970s for the public)

Organ transplants (1953)

Ultrasound (1949/1961)

Not giving aspirin to anyone under 16 due to Reye's Syndrome risk (1980s) and the advent of other OTC painkillers (ibuprofen, 1969; paracetamol/acetaminophen, 1952; naproxen, 1976)

Insulin that comes from genetically engineered E. coli instead of purified animal pancreases (1978) so as to keep allergic reactions from happening

Rapid strep or flu tests (1980s/1990s) rather than waiting days to culture stuff

If y'all want a "they took the cocaine out of Coke" moment, might I suggest "what do you mean cigarettes/asbestos give you cancer" and/or "they took the lead out of the gasoline"?

But yeah...we've made a lot of progress since 1942 but it wasn't "you got ghosts in your blood and bad air do some drugs about it" back then- not by a long shot.

Wah wahwah wah wah back in my day we scoured Wikipedia and the rest of the internet to do background research on fandom-related minutiae and we liked it

[us-cj]

From Mindy Robinson,

Are we ever going to get answers about the Las Vegas Sh**ting cover up, or nah? Where is Kash on this....and why hasn't anyone contacted me, when I have all the evidence the government covered it up right in front of me?

• Or the J6 pipe bomber, even though they have their license plate?

• Or the cocaine in the White House?

• Or who really was running the Biden administration since he clearly wasn't wiping his own ass, or even signing anything?

• Or how a military op Warp Speed vaccine that couldn't possibly have been long term tested, was touted as "safe and effective?"

• Or how the 9/11 Hijackers made an impossible flight maneuver into the Pentagon, or why the only video of it looks like a missile?

• Or why foreign countries are allowed to donate to, buy out, and control our politicians?

• Or why battleground states that Trump won, kept counting until all the down ballot races magically flipped days later?

• Or why they're allowed to put toxic chemicals and preservatives into our food, that's banned in other countries?

• Or why Fauci hasn't been strung up for the people he murdered through AZT, Remdesivir, and that virus he illegally created with a foreign communist enemy?

• Or why doctors who sexually butcher children, aren't in MF jail right now?

• Or why the government is adding a toxic chemical like fluoride into our drinking water, when we already have to go out of our way to buy toothpaste without it?

• Or why Congress is allowed to insider trade by owning stock at all?

• Or why psybicilin mushrooms that can naturally cure depression, PTSD, addiction, alcoholism, and personal trauma are illegal....but life destroying pharmaceuticals like opioids are not?

• Or why there aren't class action lawsuits across the nation against all these companies for poisoning us with micro-plastics?

• Or why drug companies are even allowed to put commercials on TV, when all it does is give them control of all the networks as major sponsors?

• Or why the J6 committee gave themselves congressional immunity from ever being sued, if they were truly righteous in their actions?

• Or how was Michael Byrd cleared of murdering Ashli Babbit BEFORE ever being interviewed about the incident?

• Or why there was no water in the fire hydrants during BOTH the Maui and LA fires?

• Or how did the RINO sheriff during the Las Vegas shooting who lied about the timeline 3 times, let evidence like the computer hard drive walk off his crime scene, and refused to investigate or name the 3 other people registered to the room...."won" a primary against a more popular Republican opponent, where over 40k couldn't vote due to a "DMV glitch?"

• Or why any Americans should pay taxes this year after finding out that DC swamp donkeys have been r*ping us through fake projects, charities, and foreign aid money laundering scams into oblivion?

• Or why the FBI covered up Hunter's laptop, and got away with lying about it being "Russian disinformation?"

• Or why every mass shooter is always "previously known to Feds?"

• Or what the hell happened with that Nashville truck explosion?

• Or what the hell happened with that Vegas Tesla explosion?

• Or those secret Jewish tunnels in New York, where they were pulling a dirty mattress and kid's high chair out of?

• Or why Obama bailed out the corrupt banks out of the housing market crash they caused using tax payer funds....instead of home owners?

• Or why no one was held accountable for the botched Afghanistan pull out, and leaving all those weapons and military vehicles there?

• Or why we haven't ended the foreign bank controlled, soul sucking usery system that is the privately owned Federal Reserve?

• Or stop who's spraying these goddamn chemtrails everywhere?

• Or why not a single election audit has been done in any state by independent investigators yet?

The tax payer funded, state sponsored fake news might have conveniently forgotten about all of this....but I sure as shit never will. 🇺🇸

[pippsbeb]

i want reporters to ask trump:

have you consumed any drugs this year? have you ever snorted cocaine? when is the last time you had any drug? have you read any books this year? do you regret getting the covid vaccine? would you appoint again any of your former cabinet members? would you appoint giuliani or bannon to any posts? would you pardon any of the jan 6ers that were convicted of assaulting police officers? what do you think of combovers? what do you think of shoe lifts? are your dentures giving you less trouble these days? would laura loomer be a good first lady? have you considered replacing jd vance? should felons be allowed to vote? is it true that you wear diapers? what do you think of lindsey graham? ted cruz? should people vote for them? or for desantis? did you have sex with anyone at the epstein island? do you believe he commited suicide?

asking questions is not illegal.

why are reporters walking over eggshells and trying to make sense of his verbal diarrhea? a guy i know was a reporter for a while, and he said it's amazing the things people will tell you if you just ask.

[sythee]

“I have to put the cocaine in the vaccine Walk out of the doctor with immunity Life of revelation catching up with me“

[comfortabletogether]

if you are going to make Headcanons of how Nico di Angelo was effected by living in the 1930’s. Please know the proper information about time then. Vaccines have been in Italy since the 1800’s, cocaine was not permitted by then, romances were just as 𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 as they were now they just hid it better. Please please I beg for you to do actual research when it comes to history 😭😭

[ralfmaximus]

Here's the complete list of DHS flagged search terms. Don't use any of these on social media to avoid having the 3-letter agencies express interest in your activities!

DHS & Other Agencies

Department of Homeland Security (DHS)

Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA)

Coast Guard (USCG)

Customs and Border Protection (CBP)

Border Patrol

Secret Service (USSS)

National Operations Center (NOC)

Homeland Defense

Immigration Customs Enforcement (ICE)

Agent

Task Force

Central Intelligence Agency (CIA)

Fusion Center

Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA)

Secure Border Initiative (SBI)

Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI)

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Air Marshal

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Decapitated

U.S. Consulate

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El Paso

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San Diego

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Nogales

Sonora

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Mara salvatrucha

MS13 or MS-13

Drug war

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Methamphetamine

Cartel de Golfo

Gulf Cartel

La Familia

Reynose

Nuevo Leon

Narcos

Narco banners (Spanish equivalents)

Los Zetas

Shootout

Execution

Gunfight

Trafficking

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Calderon

Reyosa

Bust

Tamaulipas

Meth Lab

Drug trade

Illegal immigrants

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Matamoros

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Artistics Assassins

Mexicles

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Terrorism

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Terror

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Agro

Environmental terrorist

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Target

Weapons grade

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IED (Improvised Explosive Device)

Abu Sayyaf

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IRA (Irish Republican Army)

ETA (Euskadi ta Askatasuna)

Basque Separatists

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PLF (Palestine Liberation Front)

PLO (Palestine Libration Organization)

Car bomb

Jihad

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AQAP (Al Qaeda Arabian Peninsula)

AQIM (Al Qaeda in the Islamic Maghreb)

TTP (Tehrik-i-Taliban Pakistan)

Yemen

Pirates

Extremism

Somalia

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Home grown

Plot

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Help

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Brown out

Warning

Watch

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Relief

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Burst

Emergency Broadcast System

Cyber Security

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Botnet

DDOS (dedicated denial of service)

Denial of service

Malware

Virus

Trojan

Keylogger

Cyber Command

2600

Spammer

Phishing

Rootkit

Phreaking

Cain and abel

Brute forcing

Mysql injection

Cyber attack

Cyber terror

Hacker

China

Conficker

Worm

Scammers

Social media

SOCIAL MEDIA?!

[wings-1927]

actually re : the victorian children post i think the internet severely overestimates the impact most things would have on a victorian child.

like say you’re a child in victorian england and you have reached the age of nine. even if you’re upper-class, you’ve survived swill milk, cough medicine with cocaine in it, mercury in all your clothes, arsenic in all your walls, probably a cholera/typhus/scarlet fever/whatever outbreak (with no vaccines !)… you’ve made it past five, which is a feat, considering the high infant mortality rates. it’s even worse if you’re lower-class, because you’d probably also, on top of all that, survived 10-hour workdays with no labour laws for an absolute pittance. these kids were resilient.

and don’t think they’d be affected by whatever weird online drama either. folks in the victorian era had to keep track of what the british aristocracy was up to. tenant farmers remembering who had what courtesy title and what honorifics to use for them on a productivity check visit could mean the difference between keeping and losing your farm. knowing who was next in the line of succession of the unmarried duke who owned your house would have been probably pretty important. these people read about jack the ripper for fun. they would be able to deal with your mcytwt cc drama no sweat.

[darkmaga-returns]

By Dr. Vernon Coleman

The individuals who were honoured for creating and promoting the toxic covid-19 vaccine should surely now have their honours taken from them. The covid-19 vaccine didn’t do what it was said to do and has, I believe, done more harm than any other pharmaceutical product in history - including the illegal ones. I don’t believe heroin or cocaine have killed anywhere near as many people as the covid-19 jab. And the vaccine continues to do considerable damage and to fill the world’s hospitals and funeral homes. Below is a condensed version of the foreword to my book `Covid 19: The Greatest Hoax in History which was published in September 2020 and which contained the scripts of many of my videos up to that time. Most of those videos were removed by YouTube which worked tirelessly to suppress the truth and to ensure that those of us struggling to share the truth were censored, banned and demonised. Foreword (written in September 2020) When I wrote my first book about the coronavirus (Coming Apocalypse) I was told that I was not allowed to mention the word ‘coronavirus’ anywhere in the title or the book itself. And so I went through the entire book and managed to write round the word ‘coronavirus’ around 250 times. I was also told I could not mention the word `vaccine’. When I first started making videos I was aware that the use of the words ‘vaccine’ and ‘vaccination’ were considered illegal if used in association with criticism of any kind. Other people have, of course, had few or no problems. And using these words is now less of a problem for me than when I published Coming Apocalypse in April 2020. It is difficult to know precisely when the coronavirus hoax really started – or who was responsible for initiating what has, without question, turned out to be the greatest fraud in human history. This book explains just how a bunch of crooks are using the fear which has been deliberately created out of a fairly ordinary flu bug to take over the world. Making huge profits has been effectively disguised as philanthropy. The usual suspects are, of course, the Rothschilds, the Rockefellers, the Bliderbergers and the Jesuits. But a variety of modern billionaires and self-styled philanthropists (such as Gates and Soros) have been added to the mix. It is vital to remember that behind the whole fraud lies the global warming scam.

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Amanda Marcotte at Salon:

Donald Trump's conspiracist base is restless these days, still irate that they never got the "Epstein files" they were promised. Futile efforts to keep the conspiracists happy have seemingly become the full-time job of multiple top-level law and intelligence figures in the administration. Over the weekend, FBI director Kash Patel and deputy director Dan Bongino tried to distract the MAGA masses by promising FBI investigations into a baggie of cocaine found at the White House in 2023 and, more disturbingly, the pipe bombs planted at DNC and RNC headquarters on January 6, 2021. Their efforts are about fueling baseless right-wing myths that President Joe Biden used drugs or that the FBI was trying to frame the January 6 rioters. Still, there is little reason to believe Patel and Bongino can do much to keep the MAGA base happy, especially as their "investigations" are unlikely to produce the desired evidence for the conspiracy theories.  Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for the director of national intelligence, Tulsi Gabbard. Her latest foray in generating red meat to stoke the paranoia of Trump supporters isn't just dishonest, but downright dangerous. Late last week, without the mainstream media noticing, Gabbard started pushing the flat-out lie that President Joe Biden was labeling Americans as "terrorists" because they opposed COVID-19 mitigation measures like masks and vaccines. Biden did no such thing, but by pushing this lie, Gabbard is, whether she intends to or not, encouraging the radicalization that does lead to domestic terrorism. 

Gabbard started stoking this conspiracy theory by declassifying a memo from federal law enforcement detailing the role that COVID-19 disinformation played in encouraging domestic terrorism. For those who bother to read the 2021 memo, the report isn't surprising, but simply stating the obvious fact that far-right extremists "threatened or plotted violence against the healthcare sector and state and local government officials" in 2020. The memo anticipated that there could be another round of such violence in 2021 in response to the COVID-19 vaccine. But far from equating all anti-vaccine folks with terrorists, the memo was specific about the threat, noting that members of organized militias and white supremacist groups have been using anti-vaccine sentiment as an excuse for violent threats. The average anti-vaccination MAGA rube is not part of this memo. They may be disease vectors, but no, the FBI did not think they were terrorists.  [...] This is a lie. The memo explicitly states, "The mere advocacy of political or social positions, political activism, use of strong rhetoric, or generalized philosophical embrace of violent tactics may not constitute violent extremism and are constitutionally protected." The document highlights the way that COVID-19 conspiracy theories are being used to encourage violence, so law enforcement is aware of the threats to schools, government officials, and healthcare providers to protect them.  [...] The same, of course, cannot be said of Trump, whose administration has been arresting innocent people for no other reason than their political opinions. Tufts student Rümeysa Öztürk, Columbia graduate Mahmoud Khalil, and Columbia student Mohsen Mahdawi were all jailed in recent months for the non-crime of speaking out against Israel's war on Gaza. All three are non-citizens, and the administration is claiming broad authority to deport them for their political opinions. Öztürk and Mahdawi have been released. Khalil is still fighting, worried Israel will kill him if he's deported.  This myth that Biden was targeting Republican voters for spreading COVID-19 disinformation functions as a distraction for the MAGA audience from their own culpability in Trump's war on free speech. They can tell themselves that Biden did it first, and somehow that makes it okay for Trump to arrest people who have broken no laws, simply because they voice opinions he doesn't like. Gabbard is cynically using the power of her office to put an official stamp of approval on this lie, all with a smug expression, knowing her audience wants to believe it so badly they won't bother to learn the facts. 

Tulsi Gabbard is a dangerous POS maniac and a threat to national security. Gabbard pushed the cuckoo lie that the Biden Administration labeled anti-COVID mitigations extremists “terrorists” for opposing mask and vaccine mandates.

See Also:

Civil Discourse (Joyce Vance): FBI "Top Priority" Cases

[eurodyning]

Six Song Soundtrack - Tyrell "Orion" Cormier

Rules: If you're tagged, make a new post with links to music and/or lyrics describing the following:

An event that defines your character’s past: Father - The Front Bottoms

I believe that, yeah, Dad, maybe no one is perfect But I believe that you were pushing your luck It just sucks it played out like this A terrible movie and you can tell none of the actors even give a fuck

The Father Complex - Many Rooms

I bet you're looking for a "sorry" I'm looking for one too What goes on inside your heart? What makes you do the things you do? Do you really talk to God? Man, I wonder what he tells you Maybe he has given up The way that I gave up too Well, I hope that you're happy Without me

How to Never Stop Being Sad - dandelion hands

My life is shit because I deserve it, right? You must have done something real bad

Allow yourself to lose interest in the things you love Watch as you begin to take a backseat to the world around you, don't fight it Become a secondary character in your own motion picture But most importantly Drown every single one of your feelings in old stolen rum Learn to love the taste of it dripping down your throat Find comfort in the warmth coming from your stomach You're drinking bottled love now You don't need other people to drive away your loneliness

How your character sees themselves: Toxic Thoughts - Faith Marie

If this isn't right Then does that mean I failed? Will my melodies ever live up? Will my metaphors be profound enough? Will I ever outdo myself? The ceiling gets higher and higher It's harder and harder to shatter And when I fall I fall worse than I ever did before

How others view them: Art Hoe - Call Me Karizma

5'4", black hair, never had her dad there Kissed a lot of boys but Never seems to have care She just wants vodka and cigarettes Has the dealer on speed-dial when she gets stressed

Wakes up at noon Gets up when she has to Makeup on her nightstand Cocaine in her bathroom She just wants love that she never gets Has my number on speed-dial when she needs sex

Their closest relationship (platonic or romantic): Young American -The Vaccines

Hold me in the grips of your jaw So you can show me what my mouth is for Suffocate me in between your thighs And take me swimming, naked, in your eyes

Pull me into orbit with your hands Then show me where you wanted me to land

Heavy and aggressive, I'm your thug So easy and obsessive, I'm your drug

A major fight scene: Move Like U Stole It (Remix) - Z Ward, Paul Oakenfold

Can't wait another mile The world ain't ending but it might as well be I'll rock you like the sea Buildings ain't crumbling but they might as well be So let's not think and just Move like you stole it Move, hurry Move like you stole it Make your move on me

End Credits: In the Modern World - Fontaines D.C.

In the modern world I don't feel anything in the modern world I don't feel bad Kissing on the corner Wait for just a minute I don't feel bad I feel alive in the city you despise

tagged by @aztarion thank you jez! ❤️

a toreador (🚩) with substance abuse and father issues? well i never. as expected i couldn't stick to the six song limit. have a sunny crossover meme i threw together in a minute

i've never talked about my boy tyrell on here before but maybe i will post more about my ocs in time. tagging: @psych0ruinz and anybody else who would like to play!!

dividers by @diableriedoll !!

[psychotrope777]

my honest opinion yeah im bummed as everyone else it didnt kill him but honest to christ after i watched him get covid whenever he was like 200 years old and knowing his blood has a higher volume of cocaine molecules than erythrocytes and they still managed to resuscitate him (im pretty sure it was actually before the vaccine rolled out iirc so they were just pumping him with a cocktail of experimental drugs & praying) and he still like survived, i'm inclined to believe he'll just live forever at this point. if the bullet had hit him head on and sprayed his brain across the stage and he walked up to the podium the next day with a comically large bandage over the hole in his skull i dont think id even be shocked. we're all gonna be 60 living in an authoritarian commune in the province of Neo New York on mars after billionaires accidentally killed all life on earth and still have images of donald trump's convulsing head in a mason jar airdropped to our state mandated brain implants

[teal-sharky]

All this generic alt-history fiction is F-15s this, gunpowder that.

If I had the time machine and time to prep a know how packet, I'd go to ~1200AD and grow a mercenary-merchant fleet of catamaran hulled ships.

The cornerstone of my fleet would be super-ship-biscuit with mixed in coffee (kills the weevils, keeps the sailors sharp), fortified with vitamin C (lemons, not limes) and nicotine (keeps the men sharp and under my control - leaving the ranks means withdrawal). There would be forbidden red biscuit (added cocaine) and blue biscuit (added heroine) for when things get extra rough.

I'd grow penicillin to demonstratively protect my crews from plagues even god cannot or will not stop as a stopgap while running extremely aggressive vaccination research (It'd go so much faster with liberal usage of orphans for experiments/culture growth; you could get so many fucking orphans back then, they were just free)

All the ranks would be taught Marxism and a prophecy of the wold ending demon that will be unleashed after the gods are forgotten and kings are killed if money still is a focus then.

Build a network of merchant hubs that'll earn sustenance mostly through external trade and fishing, with avoidance of grabs of land if it involved any displacement of locals. While external trade is commercial, internally they should rely on money as little as possible.

The most important milestone is to stall industrial revolution, maintaining a dogma of how bituminous coal (now called Demon Bone) and oil (Demon Blood) are to never to be burned outside of very specific, ritualistic and relatively rare circumstances (metal foundries and chemical extraction) as their use as mere fuel would turn the earth into a actual literal hell (the least gaslighty thing I have to do, tbh).

Grow laterally as much as possible as your local friendly coven of weirdos, emphasize just uprooting the hubs and fleeing if the locals get aggressive.

If things go well, reward myself every now and then by giving whichever ripe local peasantry the thoughts (marxism) and tools (dynamite) to behead their local monarchs.

I don't doubt there's a million things this could turn awry and create a world even worse than ours but hey, you're free to be a fucking coward, I would still give it a shot.

[notsocheezy]

Brain Curd #400

Brain Curds are barely-edited fiction, poetry, or just about anything else - drafted in a day or less. Somehow, four-hundred doesn’t sound that much more impressive than three-hundred.

Thanks for letting us be frank with you. Read the rest of The Frank Program here on Tumblr!

“Welcome back, one and all, to The Frank Program on VidBo! Pleasure havin’ ya!” Frank looked at the camera, then looked at the other camera, then the other other camera, then -

“Frank.” Chuck’s voice piped into the studio. “You can just… look at one camera.”

“Y’sure? I reckon the folks who get assigned the ones I’m not lookin’ at will be disappointed.”

“No, no, we cut to the B and C cameras when we need to edit down for time. They’re not that important.”

“Uhuh…” Frank rubbed his chin. “I see… alrighty. Today’s guest is one o’my idols, folks, I’ll be honest with ya. She’s been a real inspiration for my health…” Frank squinted at the teleprompter. “Chuck, what in God’s name does it mean to be an inspiration to my health? You got any idea, Andy?”

Andy, sitting in the egg chair, shook his head.

“Frank,” Chuck rubbed his forehead. “Just read what it says, okay? Andy, take note to cut this part out.”

Andy gave a thumbs-up.

“Right. Got it, Chuck. Will do. I’ll stick t’ the cue cards. No more venturin’ off the beaten path. No more delays. Not gonna waste any more a’yer valuable time…” Frank adjusted his chair. “She’s been a real inspiration for my health ever since her show started airin’ in 2004, please welcome to the Program, Dr. Mimi!”

“Thank you so much for having me here, Frank.” Dr. Mimi wore a smile as wide as her face. “And may I say, what a gorgeous studio! It’s gorgeous, isn’t it?”

“Indeedy, ma’am.”

“So gorgeous.”

“Yes’m. Now, what all the viewers and listeners are prob’ly wonderin’ is this: where do you get all that medical wisdom?”

“Despite what you may think, much of my most publicized medical advice is not from my medical degree.”

“Fascinatin’.”

“In fact, it doesn’t come from medical studies either. Frank, what I do is not that hard. It’s not - you could even do it yourself. It doesn’t require a fancy medical degree. It doesn’t require hours of stuffy reading, or… or a license to practice medicine. What I do - what I teach - it’s based on common sense. And it’s a shame, a real shame, how little of it we have left nowadays.”

“But… you do have a medical license, right, Doc?”

Chuck rolled his eyes. “Stick to the script, Frank.”

Frank pulled on his collar. “Oops.”

Dr. Mimi leaned on the table. “Let me give you an example. Say you’ve got a cold. What do you do?”

“I nuke some chicken soup, I reckon.”

“Well… I wouldn’t microwave it, necessarily, but you’re on the right track. Now, what do you think your doctor would tell you to do?”

“Heh. Haven’t got a clue. Y’think I can afford to have a doctor? Only reason I got my last physical was ‘cuz it was part of a cavity search. And ‘fore ya ask… yes, they did find my cocaine.”

“Okay then… say you do have a doctor.”

“In that case? I ‘spect he’d tell me to, uh, get vaccinated?”

“That’s right, Frank, but how does that help you now?”

“It don’t.”

“That’s right. ‘It don’t’. The medical industrial complex is completely uninterested in making you feel better now, because they know they can’t do it. They can only make promises like, ‘99% of people who take this vaccine don’t die from COVID’ or ‘measles is mostly eradicated.’ These are fundamentally non-falsifiable statements. That’s not science. Not my science, anyway. But chicken soup? That’s what heals us. That’s what makes us well.”

“But Doc, if all I have’ta do is follow my common sense, what do I need yer show for?”

“Ah ah ah…” Dr. Mimi wiggled her finger. “Not your common sense. My common sense. Because I’m a doctor.”

“Right. How could I forget?”

“So I want all your viewers to hear me when I say this: my show is on in the afternoons. A live broadcast at three followed by a repeat broadcast at five. No excuse not to tune in! It’s for your health! This week, we’re talking about nifty new products that can save you time and money after a stage one cancer diagnosis, so don’t miss it!”

“Thanks, Doc.”

“Also, I’d like to make an announcement. I am officially running for United States Congress! If you live in this great state of Texas, I could be your next senator. I really hope I can earn your vote.”

Frank pointed at himself. “My vote?”

“Well, yes, but I was speaking to the audience.”

“Hey, Chuck?” Frank looked up at the booth. “Can I still vote after rehab or is it like prison rules where ya can’t?”

Chuck shrugged. “As long as you vote Republican, there’s no harm in trying.”

“Gotcha. Well’n, Dr. Mimi, I assume you got a lot of campaignin’ to do, so I’ll let you get a run on.”

“Actually, I was booked for an hour…”

“Well too bad, my eyes are gettin’ tired. This has been The Frank Program, y’all - thanks for lettin’ me be Frank with ya.”

Penned 2025.05.01

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