#co ed killer

[eljd2r2]

[dandylovesturtles]

explaining the train of thought that got me to this would take way too much backstory but basically I had an idea and then I wrote it. I rewatched Scream recently so maybe that helps lol

cw: death (not of a canon character), mentions of blood and vomit

-----

The call comes in at a little after 2 AM, and he almost doesn’t answer because he’s busy.

But Leo almost never calls him, and it’s a singular enough occurrence that he picks up the phone and hits the button.

“Hello, you are conversing with Donatello,” he greets. “Make it quick, Nardo, I’m elbow deep in the tank’s engine.”

On the other end of the line, Leo is silent. Or, mostly silent; Donnie can hear him breathing, a little too loud, a little too fast.

Suddenly, he’s on high alert. He sits back from the tank, speaking more urgently into the phone, “Leo?”

There’s another second of breathing, and then, finally, in a voice that is too high and panicked to be his normal joking tone, he says, “Hey, remember when I sent you that meme about siblings who will beat the crap out of each other one minute and hide a body for each other the next, and I said, “us,” and you gave it a heart?”

Donnie blinks. Processes that string of words.

“I think I recall it,” he says.

“Well,” says Leo. “I need to know if that’s really us.”

Donnie stands up and keys in the command to swap battleshells to the jetpack.

“Stay where you are,” he says. “I’m on my way.”

-----

The body is male. Early twenties. About six two or six three. Caucasian. Wearing some ghoulish mask like the serial killer in a bad teen slasher.

Actually, now that Donnie thinks about it, there’s been stuff on the news lately. About a guy who likes to knife up co-eds. And Leo’s wearing his biggest, baggiest hoodie, and jeans, and in a dark alley like this it would be easy to mistake him for a normal, non-mutated human teen.

The puzzle pieces are all laid out for Donnie, but the picture it paints is pretty unbelievable.

Then again, he’s a mutant turtle who grew up in a sewer and recently fended off an alien invasion. His bar for believable is pretty low.

He takes in the body, slashed across the chest, ridiculous getup soaked in blood. Then he turns to look at Leo, curled around his knees against the wall. There’s blood all over him, too, but Donnie feels pretty confident that most of it is not his own. There’s a puddle of vomit nearby, and a dagger, and a katana, cast aside.

Leo raises his eyes to meet Donnie’s. “I didn’t know he was human.”

Donnie looks back at the body, and at the mask. Connects it to the dagger, which definitely isn’t Leo’s.

“Seems like he was a great guy,” Donnie says. 

“He stabbed my arm.”

“I meant it sarcastically.”

Leo laughs, high and reedy. Then he leans over and vomits again.

Donnie can’t help but curl his snout at that one. He looks away and waits for Leo to finish.

There’s a spit, then a sniff, then Leo says, “He stabbed my arm and I turned around and saw the mask.”

Ah yes, that. It’s pink and has a serrated smile. Little rubbery bits of slime and ooze. These things got popular after the invasion - they aren’t anywhere near the real thing, but in a dark alley, under attack, alone, when Leo had…

The puzzle pieces are there. Donnie doesn’t really need an explanation to put it together.

Actually, scratch that: he does need an explanation for one thing.

“Why are you so upset about this?” He looks back at Leo. “You took out a serial killer. Or a wannabe serial killer. At the very least a stabber.”

“I didn’t mean to kill him,” says Leo immediately. A little pleading. “I didn’t think that would… I didn’t know he was human.”

“He attacked you.”

“I could have disarmed him. I could have trapped him and let the police deal with him.”

“He came up behind you in this creepy mask and stabbed your arm.”

“He didn’t stand a chance against me,” says Leo, and it’s not swaggering and not boastful, but horrified. “It was like tearing paper, Dee. It was so easy.”

Donnie leaves the body to kneel in front of his brother. He puts his hands on his shoulders, looking him straight in the eye to make sure he listens.

“He attacked you, Nardo. He wanted to kill you. He made the wrong choice. Not you.”

Leo looks down, at the blood on his hoodie, and Donnie squeezes his shoulders until they lock eyes again. 

“He made the wrong choice,” Donnie repeats emphatically. 

Leo sighs, like he’s giving in, and a rueful smile grows on his face. “Thanks, hermano. But I don’t think the EPF is gonna see it that way.”

Ah yes, the good old United States government, and their hilariously poorly titled Earth Protection Force. Since the invasion, their existence had become known to the EPF, and they’ve been in an unspoken truce ever since. A “live and let live” holding pattern.

Unfortunately, Donnie has to admit Leo is right on this one: that this man is likely and most probably a serial killer won’t matter to the EPF. Killing any human crosses a line they won’t tolerate.

And so, there is only one solution here. The one Leo proposed when he first called.

Donnie is going to help him hide a body.

…Which means he is going to have to touch it.

Leo frowns at him. “Uh, Dee, what’s the yarf-face for?”

“I just realized how gross this is going to be.”

Leo laughs again, more than a little hysterical, and lets his head fall against Donnie’s plastron, the giggles shaking his shoulders under Donnie’s hands.

“That wasn’t a joke,” Donnie insists. Leo just laughs even harder.

Donnie scowls, even as he pulls Leo closer. “That meme really is us. I want to beat the crap out of you right now.”

Leo howls with laughter. Except it sounds a little more like sobbing now. Donnie gathers him up and holds him until he’s better again.

-----

Across the Hudson, the sky is turning pink. Donnie stands with Leo, watching the water that the body disappeared under.

They’ve already scrubbed the alley clean of any blood traces - his and Leo’s. He also had his drones bring gloves with the cleaning supplies, so they didn’t leave any fingerprints. At least Leo had the sense not to touch anything. And it’s not like the government has their prints on file, anyway. Donnie’s checked.

There wasn’t anything they could really do to hide the massive laceration that led to the body’s death. Short of melting it in acid, but both of them had dismissed that idea as soon as Donnie raised it. Despite what Donnie thinks of himself, he isn’t actually a stone cold disposer of bodies. The idea of melting it was too gross to think about.

Besides, it doesn’t matter if the body gets found, as long as it doesn’t get traced back to them. And Donnie doesn’t see any reason it should.

He’s already hacked any security cameras near the scene and made sure Leo doesn’t show up on any of them. Leo’s a good enough ninja to avoid that sort of thing, anyway, not that Donnie will admit it out loud. The crabs and fish will take care of the flesh and the katana’s mark. Leo destroyed the weapon itself in a bright blue explosion of ninpo.

“It’s kind of a bummer,” says Leo after a minute, “that the murders will go unsolved.”

“No, they won’t.” Donnie pulls out a phone, holding it carefully with his gloves. “He helpfully took trophy photos.”

Leo’s eyes go wide. “Dude, did you fish around in his pockets?”

Donnie can’t help but curl his lips. “Ugh, don’t remind me. It was a very unpleasant experience and I don’t want to repeat it.”

“What are you going to do with it?”

“Find where he lived and leave it there.” Donnie shrugs. “His body will turn up, or he’ll get reported missing. The cops will find it and everything will be wrapped up in a neat little bow.”

“Huh. Guess that takes care of that.” A pause. Leo shuffles a bit next to him. “You’re… really calm about this.”

Is he? Since the moment he got that phone call, he entered Fix It mode. He hasn’t really thought of anything else since.

“I don’t know if I will be later,” he admits.

“I’ll be there, if you’re not.”

Donnie hums an acknowledgement. There’s a weight against his arm, Leo leaning into him.

“Thanks, Dee,” he says.

“You’d do the same for me,” Donnie replies.

“Yeah,” Leo agrees. Simple as that.

[glitter-stained]

Some more movies for your consideration:

Countdown

Steph sports movie where a young woman is a boxer making money in illegal fighting rings to support her mother. One day, she hears about a co-ed boxing tournament (regular, not underground) organised by the Wayne foundation with an extraordinary first place cash prize and decides to enter it despite nobody believing in her. Featuring Cass as the undefeated champion (with blatant, infuriating romantic tension), Tim as the cocky rival, Barbara and Dick as their mentors and Dinah as a retired undefeated boxing champion who gives good advice with a romantic tension sideplot with Barbara.

Nobody dies Tonight

Jason & Cass thriller movie where a rough socially stunted PI with supernatural empathy and precognition abilities tracks down a suicidal retired serial killer to stop him from committing his final kill. (Note that due to the flimsy nature of her powers, Cass only knows that he is preparing for a last kill, the "suicide" part is a twist; there is also some dramatic irony because due to the switches between Jason and Cass' POVs, at first the viewer also just knows Jason is preparing something, and there are hints through which you can figure out little by little that he's putting his affairs in order for his own disappearance.)

The Audition

Mia-centric arrowfam mafia movie with the noble gangster archetype. In order to escape her pimp turned would-be murderer and survive the streets, the resourceful and talented fifteen years old Mia Dearden decides to try her luck and attempt to get herself hired as an enforcer for the mysterious Queen Family; however danger reigns in the streets of Star City and Mia's mentor, a homeless amnesiac man with incredible fighting skills, might be hiding more than one secret of his own... (This is a found family adoption story, except nobody bothered to tell this to Mia.)

Sharpshooter

Roy-centric movie where a ranger fresh out of rehab who lost his parents in a forest fire saves a little girl from a bear attack, only to find himself in a time-loop. Mistrustful, and with scars of her own, she refuses to give him her name. He grows attached to the little girl, even nicknaming her "Sharpshooter" as he teaches her how to use his spare tranq gun to protect herself; but every day, before they are able to escape, a bear or a cliff or a fire or some other catastrophe ends up killing the little girl... (The story ends with Roy managing to find a radio and calling his estranged foster family for help, and they find him, ragged and frightened, holding the little girl tight in his arms and lead them back to safety; the final shot is Roy in the back of a car with the little girl asleep on his lap, watching the sun set over the national park.

[formosusiniquis]

something to talk about

Robin Buckley & Steve Harrington wc: 2223 | T | Tags/Themes: Gossip, Stobin Banter and Best Friendism, a Hint of Pre-Bubblescoops a late addition for @stobinmonth day 1: gossip. AO3

Robin had been introduced to gossip through band. Which made her infuriatingly difficult to impress.

Steve was good at gossip. No, the best at it.

When he dropped Tommy, and by extension lost Carol, he went from Steve: the guy who could put together a killer party in his big empty house to what he actually was Steve: nice guy, but a little… The trailing off was usually paired with some kind of hand gesture. One that could mean a bunch of different things, and didn’t get any nicer when he started flinching when the fluorescents flickered during tornado season. 

But he had gossip as social capital.

He made it through that last year bouncing lunch table to lunch table whispering with the cheerleaders or the swim team about break-ups, make-ups, and who’d gotten busted with their latest purchase from Munson on their way back from the picnic table.

But band gossip was something else.

There was a social hierarchy beyond cheerleaders who bounced from football player to basketball when the seasons changed. It was more like the politics from the bodice rippers that he snuck off his Mom’s shelf.

It wasn’t just that Becky G. got caught getting fingered on the bus coming back from the away game. It’s that she’s a french horn and the guy was a percussionist. A word Robin hissed through her teeth like he should know what it meant.

Terri Miller wasn’t just pregnant. She’d gotten pregnant during the band camp social week at the Boy Scout campground. So the dad could be any one of four different guys, and if she didn’t guess right they would definitely know when those nine months were up.

The band was apparently some kind of den of sin and Robin still hadn’t managed to get any. Which was probably as unbelievable as the fact that any of this was happening in the first place.

Telling her that Mrs. Johnson was having an affair with Pat James, a second string baseball player who was young enough to be her son and not even that good looking -- a buzz cut with ears that stuck out from his head like dumbo -- had been met with the most unimpressed look he’d seen since they left Scoops.

“An affair, Steve, really?” She’d said. “Who cares about an affair? Something happened with the trombones and the flutes, the flutes, during Social Week and I still can’t piece together what happened since I missed the biggest week of the year because of all that Upside Down stuff.”

“You’re upset about missing out on some band drama? Not losing your sense of safety, trust in the American government, or your ability to sleep through the night?”

“I only had one of those things before all this. Now I can’t sleep and no one will tell me what’s going on with this cross-instrument family drama.”

Now that they’re in Indy it’s a little different.

It turns out in college even band kids have to study. And, much like underage drinking, some of the fun of a week-long orgy came from the threat of parent disapproval and disappointment.

Now Steve picks up his fair of strange half-conversations and relationship drama at the coffee shop he works at in the morning. Robin catches whisperings of affairs between students and professors. At night, when they barback at the lesbian bar Steve wandered into on accident right after they moved or when they’re curled up on the sofa Robin found at the thrift store two days after they signed on the apartment, they’ll share the best of what they’ve heard.

“No, Profesor Williams is the one with the weird eyes who teaches Philosophy. You’re thinking of the Music Theory professor and he’s definitely got a secret family somewhere but it’s with an age appropriate woman not a co-ed.”

“Green tea with extra lemon was leaning all over Black Coffee this morning when just last week he came in with that babe with the dark hair and glasses. One of them is his wife and the other is his girlfriend, but I haven’t figured out which one is which.”

“The pianist that’s always taking up the practice room is failing Chemistry 101 and when she tried to seduce the TA he reported her to the dean for academic misconduct. She’s a bitch but she’s also the only pianist in the program that can keep time, so I’ve got mixed feelings.”

“Americano and a muffin was telling his douchy coworker who never tips about how he got his secretary pregnant. She wants him to leave his wife, but he’s trying to decide if it’s worth it to keep her on or to hire and train a new girl. It made me remember I forgot to call my Dad’s secretary for his birthday.”

It gets them through the night but gossiping about strangers doesn’t have the same thrill as gossiping about shared classmates and the sort-of friends they'd known since Kindergarten. Doesn’t have the thrill of learning something new and excitingly interesting or terrible about someone they got to then see everyday.

It’s femoral or whatever Robin was saying about why she gets sad when she finishes her book. It doesn’t last and unlike the neat conclusion of the bodice rippers that moved with him from Hawkins -- he has a soft spot for the duchesses who get seduced by rogues and scoundrels, sue him -- the bits and pieces they get are unconnected from any other point in these people’s lives. He probably won’t get to see if Americano’s secretary gets an abortion or if she keeps the baby. Robin might get to see if the professor who has a taste for blondes who've just turned 18 gets busted, but it all depends on her schedule for the next semester.

Which makes what he has for her today perfect. More than perfect, it’s going to be something that’ll actually leave Robin impressed. She might even gape instead of just half-smiling with a single eyebrow raised, her mouth saying “oh wow” while her face says, ‘I’ve heard better.’ There is no better this time. This one might change everything.

“Guess who I saw today?”

“You’re coming from work to work so can be here til close tonight before you open at the job you just left tomorrow morning. There are doctors who work shorter hours than you are this week. Why are you so excited?” Robin uses the well bottle of tequila to point accusingly at him. Not answering the question he asked or even engaging with  his exciting news.

“It’s coffee, Robin. Four shots of espresso will fix anything. Now guess.”

“That guy who basically orders chocolate milk with a splash of coffee and found out his wife was sleeping with his twin brother?”

“No, I haven’t seen him since he saw them out the window that day.”

“Latte with cinnamon? Did he actually ask you out instead of just dropping his wallet condom on the counter when he was trying to pay?”

“No.” He says, that one is pretty tragic. That guy had been hot. The butch across from him clears her throat and he goes back to shaking her martini. “Try again.”

“I don’t like this game.” Robin winks at the blonde at the bar, handing her a shot like what she was saying to him was some kind of line for her.

He debates whether or not it’s worth it actually making her guess again. Steve’s himness has been fluid enough that he does get the occasional number while working here; he isn't sure he wants Robin to continue announcing his dating failures for anyone to overhear. 

“Carol Perkins.”

That slows her hand mid-pour; the vampy looking femme in front of her is getting her money’s worth on her vodka soda.

“Are you thinking of trading down,” Robin asks finally, tucking the tip she gets into the jar and the phone number into her pocket.

“Jealous, you know you’re my only girl.”

“Tell that to Brenda and Debbie and Melanie and Stacy…”

“Only one that matters.”

“Why do I care that you saw Carol Perkins for the first time in years?” Robin says, the only hint that this is actually a question she wants answered is the tick at the edge of her brow and the hand on her hip.

And because Steve is an ass, he’ll say it, he takes his time answering. Mixes a margarita, pours a Long Island, tells someone too young to be here that she’d be better with a coke than a cosmo. When the smoke is pouring out of Robin’s ears, when she’s trying to make it seem like she’s ignoring him now he tells her what he’s been dying to all day.

“She had a carabiner on her purse.”

“A carabiner?”

“On her purse.”

“Kinda defeats the purpose,” Robin says with her nose trying its hardest to stay out of the air.

“Depends on the purpose, doesn’t it?”

“Is Carol cute?” The leather dyke Steve had been pulling a beer for asks.

“Yeah,” he says, easy.

Not that it can be heard over the way Robin snaps, “She’s not your type.” Something snarling and possessive that Steve hasn’t seen since his last date tried to intrude on their SteveAndRobin time crossing her face and curling her lip.

“She’s vapid,” she says in response to Steve’s smile which says just as much as his words would have been able to, at least to her. 

“Sure.”

“And mean. And she always had that gum in her mouth.”

“Those were all true things about her when she was sixteen. The same year you had that perm.”

“Don’t even act like you remember that, Steven Marie Harrington. You had to look it up in the yearbook when you found out.”

“You want me to give her our number.”

“I want you to come back to me with actual gossip instead of whatever this is.”

“So you don’t want to hear about how she told Black tea with sugar that she transferred to IU after a bad breakup with her partner.”

“Nope.”

“Don’t want to hear how she asked me if I knew anyone up here when she was at the register?”

“Why would I care?”

He shrugs, lets it seem like he’s distracted grabbing a fresh bottle of vodka from their stash. “I mean she had some questions about you and what you were doing. Seemed pretty interested, thought you might be too.”

“You’re my least favorite person in the world,” she lies. 

“Consider this payback from when you told me the guy at the library was flagging. I walked to campus just to watch him make out with his girlfriend.”

“I said I was sorry, Mark from my History class said-”

“Mark from your History class was the same guy who tried to play devil’s advocate for person breeding-”

“Eugenics,” she corrects with a wince.

“Mark from History class does not get to be a source for information anymore.”

“Were you wearing your glasses? Cause if you weren’t you don’t get to be a source of information either. Who wears a carabiner on their purse? It could have been a really big safety pin.”

“I can’t believe you’re doubting me.”

“It’s not doubt.”

“It is. I told her where we work.”

“What?” The bottle she’s holding slips from her hand, bouncing on the rubber mat beneath their feet. It doesn’t break but the beer foams and froths as it spills onto the already sticky floor. Robin snatches another bottle, opening it with her ring and handing it off quickly to the woman across from her.

“I told her where we work.” He puts a heavy and weighted pause between each slowly drawn out word.

“I heard you.”

“Then why-”

“You why!”

“Me why! Because there was a carabiner on her purse Robin! Carol likes-”

She slaps her hand across his mouth for just a second, just long enough for it to feel less like a hint than hit. “Don’t finish that sentence here or ever.”

“She could like you, I’m telling you she seemed interested when she learned you were in town with me. That I knew you.”

“So you gave her directions to a dyke bar out of the goodness of your heart.”

“There was nothing good in my heart, it was out of my desire to get you laid.”

“I can get laid all by myself.” Robin snaps, louder than she should. Even with the din of the bar it sounds loud.

“I bet you can,” the voice that answers is as familiar to Steve as Robin’s. The smug and teasing way it curls around what it’s saying. Carol, smirking, with an elbow against the bar and the light catching her hair like a flame.

“I’m just going to go down here,” Steve says, ignoring the way Robin glares like she wants him to be the one aflame. “The opposite side of the bar could use some attention, so you’ve got this, Rob. Care, good to see you again.”

“Steve,” Carol greets and dismisses. “I’ll be sure to give you all something new to gossip about tomorrow.”

“You’ll have your work cut out for you. She’s got a high tolerance for that sort of thing, it may take you all night.”

“I’ll give you something to talk about.”

[fandom-imagines-stories]

Even Serial Killers Sleep

Mickey Altieri x Reader

Words: 805

Summary: Being the only solace for a man with murderous tendencies isn’t alway easy, but for you, it’s worth it. 

Notes: Nothing to see here. *cough* Just move along. (Look, I’ve accepted my obsession with him at this point. Let me write my little psycho fluff pieces.)

More 80s/90s movie imagines: HERE

-

Okay, maybe you should have been asleep. 

No, you definitely should have been asleep. It was almost four in the morning and you had class in just a few hours. 

You had tried, of course. But no matter how long you laid in your bed, staring up at the ceiling, the streetlights outside casting shadows off your blinds like the cucoloris of old noir films, you just couldn’t get your brain to shut the fuck up and turn off. 

When you heard the quiet click of your apartment door open and close, any drowsiness that might have crept into your wired mind dissipated with a shot of adrenaline. 

You lived alone. 

Your hand reached for the kitchen knife your boyfriend told you to keep by your bed, knocking your alarm clock off the nightstand in the process. The plastic device clattered to the floor, a chunk of the corner cracking off and spitting across the room. 

“Shit,” you winced. 

Footsteps creaked just outside your door. Your heart pounded in your chest. The doorknob turned slowly. You held the knife out in front of you with a trembling hand, ready to cut down whatever psycho was on the other side. 

The door swung open, revealing black boots, dark-wash jeans, and a t-shirt covered in blood. 

You let the knife fall to your side with a sigh of relief. 

“Oh, it’s just you.”

Mickey’s shoulders fell. “Just you? I just killed two co-eds and all you have to say is it’s just you? What the fuck, babe?”

“Sorry,” you giggled, standing on your toes to kiss him on the cheek, “I just thought you were, well, a serial killer.” 

“Honey,” his Cheshire cat grin made your stomach flutter, “I am a serial killer.” 

You put your hands on your hips. “Well, are you here to kill me or  go to sleep?”

He frowned, kissed your forehead, and slipped past you into the bedroom. He took off his boots and looked ready to climb under the covers. 

“Ah ah,” you exclaimed with a scolding glare. You pointed to his bloodstained t-shirt. “Not on the bed, please, baby.” 

Mickey grabbed onto the back collar and pulled it over his head. He tossed it into the trash to be burned later. He stripped to his boxers and fell back onto the bed. 

“Happy?” He snarked. 

“Thank you.” You smiled and jumped in beside him.

Mickey pulled you up against his bare chest, arms locking around you like he didn’t want to let go. You pressed your lips to his collarbone. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

He shrugged. “Eh. It was kinda boring. Too easy. When the one went to get beer, she even said ‘I’ll be right back.’ I mean, that’s breaking the biggest rule of all horror movies.” 

“I’m sure that’s what she was thinking when you stabbed her.” 

He craned his neck to look at you. “Are you making fun of me?” 

“...” You walked your fingers up his sternum. “No.” 

Hands gripped your hips and in one swift motion, you were on your pack with a pair of dark, menacing eyes hovering over yours while his body pinned you down. 

You probably should have been scared, with images of his hand, which now gripped your wrist, taking a blade and killing your classmates. But you just weren’t. Craziness and all, he was your Mickey. And he knew that better than anyone. 

His lips crashed into yours, fueled by frustration at first, but then morphing into something sweeter. Soft. He wasn’t that way with anyone but you. When he pulled away, you tried to hold back a yawn. Unfortunately, it didn’t work. 

“Maybe we should-” Yawn. “Get some sleep,” you said. 

Mickey curled up beside you with his head on your stomach, tracing lines over the fabric of your nightshirt- which was one of his stolen t-shirts. 

“Why aren’t you afraid of me?” He asked. 

You ruffled his brown hair and smirked. “Because if you were going to kill me, you would have by now.” 

He pouted his lips, crawling his way back to yours. He nipped at your neck and spoke with that slight whine you couldn't help but smile at. 

“Maybe I’m building up to it.” 

You tugged on his hair slightly, making him bite a little bit harder. 

“I’ll keep that in mind.” 

Mickey looked up at you, his usual goofy grin returning. “When you least expect it.” He jabbed his fingers into your sides, making you squeak. 

“Mickey!” You squealed. 

He switched off the light with his best mock-evil laugh. You rolled on top of him, legs on either side of his hips. 

“Who’s the helpless victim now?” You challenged. 

He sat up, flipping you onto your back once again with impressive speed. “Try again?” 

“Please don’t kill me, mister Ghostface,” you teased. 

“That’s what I thought,” he smirked. 

So much for getting some sleep. 

[fandomwritingbit]

Masterlist: William Afton

all fics are marked accordingly, read warnings cos you're responsible for what you read x

Series:

SERIAL KILLER - ONGOING

Convicted serial killer William is interviewed by a (fem) law enforcement reader.

Part one (violence, suggestive)

Part two (violence, smut)

Part three (dub con smut, violence, injury detail)

SERIAL KILLER READER - COMPLETE

William discovers something that exposes a deliciously dark side of one of his sweet, unassuming waitresses. Something so tasty he couldn't possibly keep it to himself.

Part one [request] (murder, nsfw themes)

STALKER WILLIAM - COMPLETE

Stalker William kidnaps (fem) reader.

Stalking You part one (violence, kidnapping, smut)

Stalking You part two (suggestive, violence)

STALKER READER - COMPLETE

(Gn) reader becomes obsessed with William.

Stalking William part one (stalking, obsessive behaviour)

Stalking William part two (smut)

BEST FRIEND'S DAD - ONGOING

My first ever William fic. A miscommunication sees (fem) reader meeting her friend Michael's dad for the first time.

Part one (smut)

Part two (smut)

CAUGHT OUT - ONGOING

Henry catches William railing (fem) reader in his office but instead of being angry he's horny.

Part one (smut, voyeurism)

Part two (smut, william x reader x henry)

SCARF - ONGOING

A oneshot gone rouge, (fem) reader leaves a scarf at work and William finding it only fuels his growing obsession for her.

Part one: Scarf (smut, pervert William)

Part two: Lost property (suggestive themes)

Part three: Returned (smut, suggestive, pervert Will)

Sweet girl - ONGOING

William is a new neighbour on (fem)reader's street, he soon becomes friends with her fathers just to get his hands on her.

Part one (smut, creepy behaviour, virgin reader)

Part two (smut, virgin reader, power dynamic)

Part three (smut, virgin reader)

Part four (smut, virgin reader, exhibitionism)

Part five (smut, virgin reader masturbation)

Part six (smut, virginity taking, public sex)

Too good to be true - ONGOING

(Fem)cop readers has just caught a terrible child murder case and the stress of it is getting to her so much that she makes a terrible mistake.

Part one (smut, child murder)

Battered and Bruised - ONGOING

(Fem) readers has a shady past but manages to get a job at a night club, where William is her miserable boss.

Part one (swearing, violence, injury)

Part two (swearing, threatening behaviour)

one offs:

What a way to make a living (smut)

part two (fluff)

William gives (fem) employee reader a bonus.

Tying William up (smut, bondage)

(Gn) reader get's William tied up.

Ex-teacher William (suggestive)

(Fem) reader bumps into her old teacher and decides to help him send a message to his wife.

It can wait (smut)

William goes over some books for (fem) reader's mum, fun ensues.

You could try (smut, sub/dom, bondage, knife)

(Gn) reader thinks they have William truly dom-ed, turns out not so much

A last minute shift (smut/masturbation)

(Fem) reader enjoys a phone call with her boss too much.

The bed (suggestive)

(Gn) reader is a cleaner for the Afton family, William catches them in a compromising position making his bed.

Let us in then (smut)

William comes round (fem) reader's house with a clear ulterior motive.

"What are you wearing?" (smut, public masturbation)

(Fem) reader has a dirty phone call with William at work.

We're all going on a summer holiday (smut, predator/prey dynamic)

(Fem) reader goes on a family holiday with her overbearing parents and William and his three kids.

Catching him in the Act (murder, violence, threat)

(Fem) reader is in the wrong place at the wrong time and sees something they shouldn't, making them a problem William has to solve.

Babysitter (smut, non/dub con, somnophilia)

(Fem) reader spends the night at William's after looking after the kids, and the sight of her sleeping is too tempting to refuse.

Curious (smut, non con, violence/murder)

(Fem) reader is tasked with researching the 'missing children's incident' and has no idea just how dangerous that will be.

Spent (smut, no plot)

(Fem) reader and Will getting down and dirty.

Requests:

Have a knife day (smut, knife)

William and (gn) reader partaking in some knife play.

Show me the ropes (smut, lots of alcohol)

Bartender William serving a (fem) reader who's a novice at drinking, she gets so mortal she ends up staying the night.

Babysitting (suggestive)

(Fem) reader babysitting for William.

Revision with rizz (smut)

(Gn) reader is struggling with exam revision, neighbour William comes over to 'help'.

"Stupid fucking whore" (smut, degradation)

(Fem) reader being taught a lesson by her boss.

"Little bunny" (smut, rough sex, praise)

William praising his little bunny (fem reader) during rough sex.

Stuck in a lift (smut lite)

(Gn) reader gets stuck in a lift with a very flirty stranger.

William comforting you after a bad day at work (fluff)

Does what it says on the tin, William is surprisingly nice to (fem) reader.

Spring art festival (fluff, suggestive)

(Gn) art teacher reader recruits William to help out at the art festival despite Michael's protest.

Clever arse (fluff)

Smart (fem) reader showing off in front of William.

Noise complaint (smut)

(Fem) reader is woken repeatedly by a noise so eventually goes to find the source, a drunk and very handsome man.

Cockwarming while Will works (smut)

(Fem) reader cockwarming William whilst he works.

Brat-taming (smut headcannons)

How William would make a bratty (fem) reader submit.

Brat-taming again (smut, spanking)

(Gn) reader being punished for being a brat.

Forgive Me, Father (smut, religion)

(Fem) reader flees to a church in the middle of the night and ends up colliding with priest William.

Blackmail (smut, blackmail)

(Fem) reader kills someone in self defence and is caught by William, he seizes the opportunity.

Misc:

Hallowe'en 2023

What if William could sing? (sfw, but swearing)

Anglicisms and William

Songs that scream William to me

Featuring:

Choose your own adventure (smut)

(Fem) reader wants to hook up, take your pick between William, Michael and Henry Emily

He tastes like... (fluff)

No reader just thoughts about what it would taste like to kiss Michael, William and Henry.

Springtrap req - No one is looking, right? (smut)

(Gn) reader is caught masturbating at work.

[elliot-rambles]

❝𝕴𝖋 𝖆 𝕲𝖔𝖉 𝖎𝖘 𝖆 𝖉𝖔𝖌, 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖆 𝖒𝖆𝖓 𝖎𝖘 𝖆 𝖋𝖗𝖆𝖚𝖉, 𝖙𝖍𝖊𝖓 𝕴'𝖒 𝖆 𝖑𝖔𝖘𝖙 𝖈𝖆𝖚𝖘𝖊❞

Hi! I'm Eli, your local alterhuman! This blog is for all sorts - heartstopper fans, umbrella academy fans, therians, alterhumans. Whoever you are, surely you'll have a place here <3 about our MaDD || tag list! || f/o list! || names we use! || interest list On the radio 🎧 LOVE YOU SO - Yung Kage x Isaacwhy x Yumi He loves it more than anything 🧡 Killer Klowns from Outer Space Hey sexy lady! 😍 Vance Hopper & Robin Arellano from The Black Phone

DNI: - basic DNI (racists, homophobes, transphobes, etc. - anti therians (why are you even here in the first place?) - PROSHIPPERS!!!!! - Z00PHIL3S!!! GET OUT OF HERE!!!!! I DON'T LIKE YOU!!!! - anti-recovery/anti-cluster a, b, c - anti-oxford comma (this is so random but I'm very passionate about it) - gore, smut, pro-conact big 3 paraphilias/any gross philias - proana/ed/sh blogs. this is very distressing as most members of our system (such as nico, raul, luther, and xip) struggled with things like this in the past. do not interact with me. do not interact with my blog. I check every blog I see pop up in my activity feed. if I see you, you will be blocked. - anybody mean in general (you will be blocked if I don't like you!)

Basic stuff: - Pronouns: they/he/kir/claw (check my pronoun page here for more details) - Gender: Agender, genderfluid, enby, gender apathetic masc - Other identities: timber wolf, Pallas Cat, crow, panther physical alterhuman - I am a petre/agere - I don't feel comfortable saying my age but little age can vary from 3-6, petre to a puppy - we have spherocytosis, minor POTS, and a spinal issue.

system info for y'all! :D : - we are the catch and throw system! we are a quiogenic system with an ever-expanding headcount, and I (Eli) am the front-stuck host! signoffs are as follows ^^ eli (host) - 🫶🪐🍄 (he/kir/xe/claw) xip (co-host) - 👻👾💋 (they/he/bro) raul - 🏳️‍⚧️🎨🎧 (he/they) luther - 🌕🌎💫 (he/him) maria - 🌈🌊🌫️ (she/her) jax - 🌙🕸️🪼 (they/aer) lulu - 🌷🐾🍨 (she/he) nico - 🌧️💀🖤 (he/they/cat/shad) kaecha - 🩷👘🌺 (she/her) danny - 🥇🥋🎒 (he/xe) johnny - 🎆🎒🔥 (he/him) pony - 🐎🧡☀️ (he/they) misha - 👾🌈🍪 (it/its) onyx - 🪸👺👀 (hyt/hyts) five - ⌚👀☕ (he/it) x-ray - (he/him) zigzag - (he/him) zero - (he/they) armpit/theo - (he/him) larry - (he/they) jack - (he/they/goober) side blogs: @king-of-the-dead (Nico)

newer reblogs will be under #eli rebarks, agere/petre stuff will be under #eli feels small, therian stuff will be under #eli's gone wild, answers to asks/requests will be under #eli's answers, basic text posts/fandom stuff will be under #eli feels chatty, system things will be under #catch and throw chronicles, caregiver stuff will be under #papa eli, and vents will be under #eli's darkest hours!! :0

Ever growing hoard of userboxes (all creds go to the creators! [@/kthecritter, @/genicpunk, @/ghosting-plural-userboxes, and @/hazelnut-hearts])

[blogger360ncislarules]

TV’s number one crime-solving nun is back in action—and will be celebrating the holidays this winter.

Filming has started, in and around the Cotswolds, on the fourth series of the BBC Studios drama Sister Boniface Mysteries, created by Jude Tindall. It will air next year on BritBox International and on UKTV’s U&Drama in the UK. It has also been announced that the show will return for another feature-length Christmas special this December, written by Tindall and directed by Paul Gibson. See photos of Lorna Watson, who plays Sister Boniface, on the set and in the Christmas special above and below.

“It’s brilliant to be back with the gang for series four,” said Watson in a statement. “I feel very lucky to be part of such a lovely show and can’t wait to get cracking, solving crime in the Cotswolds sunshine.”

Gary Moyes – Courtesy of BritBox

In addition to Watson as the Vespa driving, crime-solving, Catholic nun, also returning are Max Brown as DI Sam Gillespie, Jerry Iwu as DS Felix Livingstone, and Ami Metcalf as WPC Peggy Button. The Series 4 guest cast includes Les Dennis, Katherine Kingsley, Martyn Ellis, Mina Anwar, Ed Birch, and Daniel Laurie.

The Christmas special features the Great Slaughter Amateur Dramatics Society (GSADS) pantomime. This year it’s Cinderella and with the appointment of a celebrity director the pressure is on to deliver their biggest and best performance yet. Rehearsals begin, but soon cast members start dropping like flies. Can Sister Boniface catch the killer before they strike again? Will GSADS give the public the festive theatrical treat they deserve? And, most importantly, can Sam and Felix pull off a polka in a pantomime horse?

Also coming up in the series, a bucking bronco goes haywire on the set of a game show, a killer scarecrow stalks the streets of Great Slaughter, the Scottish invade, a femme fatale drops to her death in a stunt gone wrong, and CC Lowsley (Robert Dawes) has arranged some team building. Meanwhile, Reverend Mother Adrian (Carolyn Pickles) is keeping a secret, and it could tear the Sisters lives apart.

“I’m thrilled that TV’s favourite forensic nun is returning for a fourth series. The alchemy created by Jude, Lorna and our wonderful cast and Midlands crew continues to delight viewers worldwide,” Neil Irvine, Executive Producer at BBC Studios said. “This series sees a serial killer on the loose at the Christmas Pantomime and a threat to the convent itself. I can’t wait for the audience to find out if this is the end for St Vincent’s…”

Sister Boniface Mysteries is made by BBC Studios Drama Productions as a co-production for BritBox International and UKTV. The script producer is Dawn Coulson-Beckett. Executive producers are Neil Irvine for BBC Studios, Stephen Nye and Robert Schildhouse for BritBox International, and Claire Hookway for UKTV.

[schemmentisjacket]

Chapter 3 - Prep Day pt 3

Authors Note: Little something something about non binary queer new teacher coming in, leading to Melissa finding the one.

Seated between Jacob and Melissa, Charlie found themselves looking up to Ava on the stage, that second coffee was starting to hit and they found their leg bouncing as Ava worked through introductions.

C pov:

‘And finally our new fourth grade teacher. Look at that fine head of hair, damn you balancing out Ed Sheeran bringing down the ginger rating. This hottie is Dr Charlie Flinn.’ Ava announced down the microphone, as Melissas hand lands on your leg, making you jump slightly.

‘Dr ay?’ Melissa leant over into their ear ‘Looking like that coffee is hitting, you okay?’

You could feel Melissa’s hand burning through your jeans, as she rests her hand on your bouncing leg. ‘Mmhm, got a phd, not a medical one though, but you think I would have learnt too much coffee affects my adhd meds,’ you chuckled quietly, ‘and being under the spotlight like this gets my anxiety going.’

The hand on your leg squeezed gently but doesn’t move, as you hear Ava move onto talking about a man a few seats down called Gregory.

The rest of the afternoon was spent moving more things into your classroom and sneaking glances across the corridor into Melissa’s room.

So far you’d realised she was a strong woman with a killer sense of humour who drove a stunning sports car, and had so far shown a softness towards you.

You couldn’t wait to learn more about Melissa Schemmenti.

M Pov:

It hit the Friday. You had been enjoying prep week. Watching the new teacher move in across the way. Everyday watching the different outfits and sneaker combo. One day cargos, another tight skinny jeans. Big hoodies, leather jackets, jean jackets. Assorted accessories. Always a pair of gloves.

Today they’d pulled up in a dark pair of oversized jeans, a flyers hoodie and a black jean jacket. Today they had a beanie perched on top of their head, their usual unruly quiff was flopped over their forehead poking out the hat.

‘Didn’t pitch you as a hockey fan,’ you called popping the trunk on her car to take out the last of the supplies she needed.

‘Yeah been watching since being a little kid. Lemme give you a hand with that,’ Charlie reached over, taking a couple of boxes out and into their arms.

‘I’ve never been. You’ll have to take me to a game sometime and come with me to the football. Ya’ know if you’d like?’ You threw out there, glancing at them as you shut the trunk and began heading towards the school.

Charlie smiled, hitching the boxes in their arm, you saw the muscles flexing in their upper arms, ‘Yeah that’d be real nice, we could maybe grab some food or something, before.’

‘Or I could cook? I’m Italian remember, I mean if you wanted to come over, though it might mean seeing Jacob. He’s staying with me at the moment cos him and his boyfriend broke up.’

‘Yeah that sounds nice, I’ll check the next few games season out and let you know, here pop your number in and I’ll drop you a message, work something out.’ They slid their phone from their jacket pocket awkwardly and passed it over to you.

You held the door open for them as you stepped through the main doors and into the school corridor, one hand tapping away into the device before slipping it back into to their pocket for them.

‘You feeling ready for next week when the kiddos get here?’

‘Absolutely cannot wait!’ Charlie grinned excitedly turning to look at you, up close you noticed a little scar on their lip, on the side that never quite curled up as much. Though you noticed when they spoke sometimes you caught a glimpse of something shiny. All week you’d slowly been noticing new things about them. Day two you had noticed they’d come in wearing a nose ring, they hadn’t the day before because they’d taken it out at the weekend. Just a small silver hoop in one nostril, matching the small silver hoop in one ear. A simple silver chain nothing thick or with any kind of charm.

‘I gotta ask what that is shining in your mouth,’ interest peaking, ‘I keep feeling like I’m going crazy seeing something.’

‘Oh this?,’ Charlie asked, raising their lip higher, the scarred lip twisting and their nose crinkling as they activated their facial muscles, to reveal a silver canine tooth. ‘Cracked tooth. One year at hockey camp in College. Someone was throwing slurs during the game and big hits at me and my team mates, so we dropped gloves. I got a cracked tooth and he got a free nose job. It’s the only time I’ve ever thrown a punch. Called my best mate the F word.’

‘On second thoughts maybe you should keep the mug I leant you Rocky.’ You could feel the heat rising across my chest and neck. The idea of them as a sweaty hockey player fighting. ‘You’re full of suprises.’

Charlie laughed softly, ‘Nah, not much going on with me really.’

You raised an eyebrow, I’m not so sure.’

The day passed quickly, with everyone focusing on finishing touches for the kids arrival on Monday and before you knew it Charlie was tapping on the doorway.

‘Hey I’m heading out. Just wanted to say have a great weekend. I’ll see you Monday.’ Charlie said slouching against the door way casually.

‘You coming in all swagged out like that for the students?’ You asked, giving their sleek casual look a once over. Looking back up you caught them watching you expectantly.

‘Ah Melissa, you have no idea.’ They throw a wink in your direction as they back out the room, ‘Something for you to look forward to.’

You let out a sigh. They had no idea.

Your phone buzzed.

From: unknown number

Took me a while to find you in my phone ‘Red Hot Italian 🤌🏻 🇮🇹’ thought I’d drop mine over incase you needed anything.

Don’t miss me too much, it’s only two days.

Your Favourite Newbie 🤓

Save New Contact:

Handsome Hockey Rocky 🏒💪🏻

[canadiandogteeth]

Rivi Palomino ~ Kemper

𝔯 𝔦 𝔳 𝔦

Top Photo ~ Ed Kemper "the co-ed killer"

face like kemper no one would know the kind of things you do for fun when you're alone

stare up at the ceiling waitin' for you to come home i guess i kinda loved ya never saw you as a ghost

[rayslittlekitten]

As for finding their Gein in Hunnam, Murphy gives the credit to filmmaker Max Winkler, who will be directing a handful of the episodes. He told Collider:

“Max Winkler is a friend of mine. He's directing many of [the episodes] along with Ian Brennan, my co-creator, and I was talking to Max about it, and he is friends with Charlie, and he goes, ‘Oh my god, Charlie. Do you love Charlie's work?’ I was like, ‘I've always wanted to work with him.’ So I met with Charlie, and he's just the most lovely person , and he liked what we were doing. He liked what it's about . Every generation gets the monster that they deserve, you know? So we're writing about a lot of things, but he's a wonderful guy.”

[haveyouseenthishorrormovie]

SUMMARY: As a copycat killer named after movie villain Cinderhella stalks the student body at Grizzly Lake High School, a group of co-eds band together to survive while serving detention.

[nebulousgaythoughts]

Ofmd season 2 episode 6 spoilers!!

The way they showed Ed and Stede's first time was so interesting to me. First of all, it happened directly after Stede killed someone for the first time, so automatically, Stede was in a very strange and vulnerable headspace. And that's not to say he was taken advantage of--he very much initiated it--but it happened while both of their identities were up in the air. Stede was adjusting to being an *actual* killer, while Ed had just apologized earlier for shooting Izzys leg.

And then we see Ed sitting on the bed, still fully clothed in leather while a shirtless Stede closes the curtains. And what interests me the most is that we don't even see his face. All we see is Ed looking up from the bed, and Stede looming close to the camera, mirroring the way that Blackbeard was first introduced to the show--facing away from the camera and smoking a pipe, obscured with power and mystery. The fact that their first time co-occurred with such a dramatic shift in dynamics is a little concerning but I have total faith that they will *eventually* talk their shit out).

I don't fully believe Ed when he said that night was a mistake. I do believe he has commitment issues like a bitch, and when Stede started to become more like him, he got scared. We can see him pulling away, sitting in the corner of Spanish Jackie's as Stede revels in his infamy. He wants to truly make amends to the people he's hurt and traumatized, and he can't do that if he's with someone who's drinking, and making people walk the plank, and lighting people on fire.

And it's not because Stede is evil--sure he's a bitch, and occasionally ends a life or two, but that's not who he truly is--its who he's trying to be. A murderer, not a bitch--cause he is a bitch, but he's trying to be a murderer, because his whole life he's been bullied and mocked for not being manly enough. For not being a good husband, for being sensitive and soft, and well, gay. And Ed doesn't understand that this is why he wants to be like him, like Blackbeard (because they haven't fucking talked about it), because for Ed, being Blackbeard ruined his life. It nearly ended it (and others) and he doesn't want Stede to fall down the same path.

So yeah, Ed decides to become a fisherman, because like he said, he has no idea who he is. He still has so much healing to do, so many wrongs to right, and it's just so fucking tragic that now is the time when they need each other the most, but they're moving so rapidly in opposite directions, and neither of them know how to communicate it.

I think Anne and Mary were right--they are fucking 14 year old boys. I mean, Stede literally called Ed a coward for leaving instead of chasing after him. But they're not going to turn out like them. Ed and Stede are going to grow up, and they're going to talk, and they're going to heal each other's scars instead of causing each other more. They're going to learn how to commit to each other and stay even when things get hard or scary. (David Jenkins please for the love of all that is holy let them better each other and also fuck again but after they come to terms with who they are and want to be)

Edit: actually, hot take, but I think them having sex actually was a mistake. And yeah, Ed left instead of talking about it, but still. Their relationship is still so new and unstable, and I wish they waited until they were in a more grounded place. I wish they would have reckoned with their opposing paths before doing something so intimate and vulnerable, but I have a feeling they're going to reckon with it by the end of the season.

Ed asked Stede to go slow for a reason. And yeah, they both consented, which is more important than anything, but damn, it happened so fucking fast. I mean, they are gay, so. (David Jenkins I am in your walls please make Ed and Stede practice healthy sexuality and communicate about their life goals so they can prevent further miscommunication and heartbreak)

[br1ghtestlight]

getting war flashbacks to the bobs burgers fanfic where louise is doing math homework in the restaurant when nobody else is around and then bob has a heart attack </3 that shit was TRAUMATIZING

love linda shouting four whenever there's a math problem or anything related to numbers. best recurring joke. FOUR!!!!

you can do it gene :D also im so bad at math I 100% would not be able to help either. dumbass rep family

bob trying to help gene with his homework is cute. even if he is Not very good at it. he wants to be an involved dad :(

gene im not gonna lie that math question has gotta be fucking with you. rhat is not a real question. i could NEVER do that not if i was given 100 hours that shit is fake

see this is where when I was in math class i would just write a random number and move on bcuz im never gonna figure it out anyway im not gonna waste time. so that's my advice gene. just Give Up

he says "maybe your mom or tina could get you started" because they're older but I genuinely think louise has a better chance of helping bcuz she is so smart. if she'd WANT to help is another question entirely

because I'm stuck in a safe 😐

AND THEN HE BLINDFOLDED ME ON THE WAY HERE??? HE BLINDFOLDED YOU??????

teddy I think his guy is gonna murder you im gonna be so real right now

unfortunately im kinda following teddy's logic now like. it isnt like fischoeder isn't doing this type of shit everyday just for fun. rich guys are just like that BUT getting their money is nice

"gene was doing homework?? that's new"

WE'RE NOT ALL ECONOMICALLY COMFORTABLE LIKE YOU ARE

"Why did you tell me the whole long story about the sandwich in the drawer if you're running out of battery LOCKED IN A SAFE??" "Context!!!!"

also bob and teddy have such great comedic chemistry lmao they bounce off each other so naturally

louise isn't lying she Does have a certain set of skills 😭 if anyone could find him it WOULD be her the lockpicking genius nine year old supervillain

miss you. see you soon. gotta go!!

has he gotten a new cellphone since that MIDDLE OF THE DAY AND YOUR PHONE IS AT 23% argument or is it that same shitty 2008 blackberry phone that dies almost immediately lmfao

bob is a real one for doing this bullshit for teddy he did NOT have to. they're ride or die fr

I'm not entirely unconvinced that gerald isnt a serial killer but thats okay <3 men can have hobbies

also I'm choosing to believe this gerald is the same one from the taxes/weed cookie episode even though it ABSOLUTELY is not bcuz i think that would be funny. by day he's a regular tax agent by night he is a creepy rich kidnapper who pulls mind games on all his handymen

OH I FORGOT THE SUBPLOT FOR THIS EPISODE IS ABOUT SPORTS PEOPLE why did they do the whole thing with gene's homework then.... are they connected. what is the gameplan

WE PICK A NEW LOVER FOR MOM

i love how bob is apparently the only thing keeping his family from going completely off the fucking rails like. he's the only thing standing between his family and their restaurant burning down with everyone inside fr

your dad never loved that dream :/ because he's a hater :/ AND SO JEALOUS :/

you're not gonna break the world record. another hater. STOP THAT

I might be having a panic attack 💔 I CANT TELL BECAUSE IVE NEVER HAD ONE BEFORE OR IM ALWAYS HAVING ONE soo real teddy

WE LOST HIM 😭😭💔

aww I love them all wearing their lil aprons <3 (crappy photo of my tablet bcuz the app im using to watch this episode doesn't allow screenshots)

SAY SOMETHING SMART LIKE UHH HOW WOULD YOU FLIP A GIANT BURGER. OH GOD THEY DIDNT MAKE THE GIANT BURGER DID THEY. WHO WOULD EVEN AGREE TO EAT THAT. AN OVER FOURTY CO-ED BASKETBALL TEAM. REALLY 😯

sorry this episode has so many good ooc quotes FJDMDJSKSKKM

gene STOP calling him father

bob is being like a whole ass detective meanwhile linda and the kids are currently making The Worst Decisions Ever

h jon benjiman is doing such a good job voicing bob in this episode idk it has so much personality and sounds natural. or it's always like this and im just now appreciating it but either way A+ work

cute bob and teddy moment ❤️❤️

(ignore the awful camera quality. nothing I can do there) also love the fact that teddy can easily lift up and manhandle bob. Good to know

there's so much going on w/ this gerald guy I dont even know WHERE to begin. what a guy. wow

this is so cute and sweet im so happy!!! YOU DOUBLE FAKE WALLED HIM :D YOU SMART SMARTIE. YOURE A GENIUS BOB

"I knew I asked the right person to come help me. Yeah. Mort wouldn't answer."

"What? You called Mort first?"

"No..."

HE ASKED MORT???? LMFAO big win for tedmort shippers. I fucking guess

MORT NEVER DOUBLE FAKE WALLED ANYONE why is bob like genuinely jealous of mort and teddy right now 😭 chill out man you've got a wife at home

"let's just say it's twelve" FINALLY bob follows my very smart advice when it comes to math homework smh

ALSO THIS IS TECHNICALLY THE FIRST TIME WE'VE SEEN THEM EATING BOBS BURGERS FOR DINNER OR IN GENERAL!!! I mean it's a giant hamburger loaf but it technically was served at bob's burgers so it counts

GIANT FRENCH FRIES

aww this episode was so fun and cute!! I love the more adventure-y type episodes where they explore a new location so this episode was great and very stressful lmao. also very funny. I love bob and teddy's dynamic/back and forth throughout the episode and the weird mort mention at the end felt like they were soft launching his and teddy's relationship even though I KNOW they aren't actually. mort could replace kathleen if we believe. very solid 8/10 episode :)

[chuunai]

Romantic Killer - Chapter One; Time Flies By (1/2)

Modern Sniper AU! Nakahara chuuya x Sniper Best Friend! gn! reader

Synopsis: You and Chuuya Nakahara are a sniper duo from the Port Mafia, having taken care of each other from as far back as your memory goes. No parents, no family, just each other. Living in an apartment as friends by day, blowing brains out of targets at night. Sure, the money isn’t that good. But it’s not like you can go back, right?

TW: Throughout this fanfic series, there WILL be descriptions of gore/blood, death, brief mention and depiction of starvation (not an ED though), angst, prostitution and stupid people who don’t know romantic love from platonic love. It’s not that bad in the beginning, but I will ramp it up as the series progresses.

A.N: Criticism and feedback is welcome and appreciated because this is my first fanfic series and I’m running on low energy.

—

10:30 P.M

It’s dark. Silent, too. Clouds drift over Yokohama, blocking out the moon’s light. The heavy rain poured over all, drenching the ground. It’s all so wet, a heavy humid night. A utility pole happens to be nearby, sticking up in the ground. The wires stick out in all directions, thin and sturdy. Two birds rest on a wire, one a color that resembles blood. The other? Oh, it’s pure white. A stark difference from its companion nearby. Two different creatures, yet in this moment they’re here.

Together.

Together, like Chuuya Nakahara and you. Here he is, laying down on his stomach, sniper rifle perched on the edge of the building, finger on the trigger. The wind occasionally ruffles his hair, the ginger strands resting on his shoulder. A quiet night, that’s what it is. Save for the rain. It soaks him to the bone, clothes clinging to his frame. Every few seconds, he has to wipe his eyes of the water.

Fuck. He should’ve brought an umbrella like you.

You’re behind him, clutching your own gun under the comfort of the umbrella. Waiting for that inevitable shot he would take.

Information from the Port Mafia had detailed an enemy gang who had their own sniper out tonight as well. A good one, allegedly. Too good to be alive. It’s why you two are both out on February 14th. A rainy day where love floods through the city as lovers celebrate each other. No couple here, though. Just a duo. Your duo.

Nothing’s new. Not when it’s been this way for years. Just him and you.

Chuuya’s always had your back, and you’ve always had his. On the streets. On the rooftop. On days where things weren’t so terrible, and on days where it was terrible.

Before as orphans, sleeping in abandoned warehouses where Chuuya would stay up all night, keeping watch. A jacket - his - would cover you for warmth, even if he’d be cold. How when he got food, he gave more to you. You looked so thin, and he was scared shitless you’d die of starvation.

So he went hungry so you could eat more. Hungry until the Mafia found them. Inducted them into their organization and roles.

Now as fucking Mafia members, sharing an apartment even though you two could easily afford your own now. But it’s home. Where memories were made - eating shitty takeout, gossiping about co-workers and having a sleepover party every night.

Blacking out those memories of the past. And looking forward to the future.

And in the future, he’d still be there. As a friend, confident or hell - maybe even more. It didn’t matter. As long as you were happy and safe, Chuuya was okay with his life.

Okay with the work they did now.

His ears catches the sound of your gentle hums, a small smile pricking at the corner of his lips. It’s been a while since Chuuya last heard them. A good contrast to the dead silence you two were stuck in. A bit of chatting never hurt anyone. Shifting a bit, Chuuya’s voice stuck out against the pouring rain, hoping you’d speak back and not be a rule abiding bitch.

“I hate this rain. It’s so fuckin’ wet.”

And he did hate it. Especially without an umbrella and when they were in the middle of an area containing nothing about abandoned house projects and crumbling buildings. A few puddles had formed on the roof, much to his disdain.

“That’s what she said.”

Did you have to? Did you REALLY have to? Chuuya groaned, mentally facepalming himself for walking into that one. You both were the same age - twenty two - and here you were making jokes that a middle schooler would.

“Did you have to?”

“Have to what?”

Fuck you. You totally did know what, but he gives up on it. You’re a cheeky one who never likes to be straightforward with him.

“I- nothing. Hey, do me a favor and get your ass over here, okay? The umbrella too. You can at least cover me too.”

Your footsteps make sounds on the puddles nearby as you stroll over to him, sitting down nearby and begrudgingly covering him with it. A few raindrops roll off the edge of the umbrella, finding their way onto the back of your neck. Chuuya stifles a comment at that, not wanting to lose his umbrella privileges.

“Thanks.”

A small mutter comes from his lips as his shoulder touches yours, not even flinching when your free hand reaches up to play with his hair. He’s too used to it all. The random times where you jump onto his back. Braiding his hair while he naps on the couch at home. Painting his fingernails pink while he’s blackout drunk. This is one of your tamer moments.

“Geez, Chuu. Your hair’s so friggin’ soft. I’m gonna use your hair products when we get home.”

A side-eye from Chuuya.

“I bought them. They’re mine. Not yours, you thief.”

He’d almost always give up his things to you. Clothes, hairties, snacks, etc. You always won, sadly.

“You owe me. Don’tcha remember when you borrowed my rings and lost them?”

He did. Chuuya remembers that very well.

“Fine.”

Another ‘fuck you’ passes through his mind. Minutes go by in relative silence coupled with the occasional bickering. You went back to your corner of the roof, leaving him once again soaked to the bone from the rain. Chuuya regrets not letting you do the assassination for tonight. Now you were dry in your little bubble, being the back-up in case someone tried to rush up the stairs at them.

Boring. This was all so boring. When was the action?

It didn’t take much longer.

The building opposite of them containing the supposed sniper for the night had a shadow suddenly pop up, Chuuya’s body automatically lining up the shot as a gunshot bursts out of his gun. He’s expecting to see blood spurt out of the body, the thud on the concrete.

Nothing.

Instead, as he recovers from the recoil of the shot, your cry of warning rings out too late as another crack shoots out from nowhere.

First, a bloom of hot pain in his collarbone. His ears are ringing a bit, mind dazed and shocked and unable to register how your fingers tug him to safety behind a parapet. Damn it, he thinks. Must’ve been a decoy puppet of sorts. God, how could he have been so stupid as to not think of that?

He’s Chuuya fuckin’ Nakahara. Best sniper in the whole of the Mafia’s men.

Second, the pain intensifies as he slowly comes to his senses, eyes focusing on the sight of your crying self. His heart began to beat faster - not only due to blood loss - but because it hurt so damn much to see you cry.

“Hey- don’t cry. I’m okay.”

Fingers shakily rise to rest on your arm, feeling the warm flesh under the fabric of his gloves. Chuuya’s not dying. Not now, not ever. He’s not done protecting you.

“I’m not dying, you hear me? I’m not fuckin’ dead yet.”

A load of shit, coming from him. The man with blood flowing from his collarbone as he clutches onto you like a child. It’s pathetic looking, and a wave of self-consciousness greets his body. You don’t give a crap though. He’s dying, no time to focus on how child-like and dependent Chuuya is right now.

“I’m not crying, dipshit.”

Your fingers tightened on his shirt as you choke out a reply. That comforts him. He couldn’t be dying if your banter happens even now.

“Sure you’re not. Fuck- this hurts.”

Another quick retort from you, filled with sarcasm and a desperate attempt at normalcy. That it was just another day in your shared apartment rather than him bleeding out in your arms.

Normal normal normal. It’s normal.

“I wonder why. Couldn’t be the fucking gunshot.”

Heh.

It’s true. It hurts so bad. Sharp shudders of pain explode all over his body. His heart, his chest, his head.

Thirdly, Chuuya Nakahara is dying. He’ll confess to that now. The world slowly swirls above him, your voice and sniffles tuning out as you desperately request for medics from the Mafia.

The stars are a mix of bright dots in the night sky.

The rain pours. The umbrella lies forgotten. Water drips down your bodies as he stays in your lap, bleeding out on what others consider a happy day. So much water. Damn, if he was going to go out, it could’ve been in better weather. Not this mess of wind and rain. His shirt is now a color of red, dulled by the water sinking further down on you two.

Chuuya tries to manage a smile. For you. For his best friend.

His everything.

“It’s okay.”

It’s really not. Especially to you.

“The fuck, Chuuya? It’s not okay, okay? Stop talking like you’re dying.”

He is. Chuuya can feel life slowly ebb out of him, his limbs feeling like jelly now. Your arms tighten around him, clutching onto the wet fabric of his shirt. His eyes focus on yours, that smile not leaving his face just yet.

“Chuuya. Chuuya, no. Keep your fucking eyes open.”

Chuuya’s eyelids are woozy. So, so tiring. He needs a nap. Even if it was cold and raining, your arms were cozy and warm.

A short nap.

So he takes a nap, eyes slowly shutting as life flooded his memories. His life, which Chuuya considered having started at twelve years old.

When he met you.

——————

A.N: Hi! So, if you made it this far (thank you if you did <3), this is just like part one of chapter one. I’m planning for the second half to be really long, so I’m going to take a while on that.

Please leave feedback and criticism so I can improve on my writing! Have a good night/day boys, girls and squirrels!

[dichenlachmandaily]

Writer-director Adam Sherman (This Game’s Called Murder) has set the cast for his newest indie feature, the horror comedy Vampires of the Velvet Lounge. Mena Suvari (American Beauty) and Dichen Lachman (Severance) lead the ensemble, which also includes Stephen Dorff (Blade), Rosa Salazar (Alita: Battle Angel), Lochlyn Munro (Peacemaker), India Eisley (I Am the Night), Sarah Dumont (Scout’s Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse), Mark Boone Jr. (Sons of Anarchy), Tom Berenger (Platoon), Timothy V. Murphy (The Fabulous Four), Sherman Augustus (Strangers Things) and Tyrese Gibson (Fast & Furious franchise).

Drawing inspiration from titles like Shaun of the Dead and From Dusk Till Dawn, the film currently shooting in Georgia [ed. filming has currently wrapped] watches as a coven of the blood-suckers struggles to come to terms with the modern world and their own mortality as they are locked in a battle with a deadly foe.

In addition to Sherman, producers on the project include Marcus Englefield and George Lee for Storyoscopic Films (Animal Crackers). Noémi Santo is co-producing for Adam Sherman Film.

“I’m making a modern-day feature with an amazingly talented cast and crew about the most prolific serial killer in history, the historical countess Elizabeth Bathory, in the style of the ’70s and ’80s horror movies that I grew up watching,” said Sherman. “She believed bathing in the blood of young women would make her live forever, and there’s no physical or scientific evidence that she ever died. I look forward to the day I can share this insane, twisted, and surrealist story with audiences.”

Producers Englefield and Lee added that the film is “a sexy, funny, and original thriller packed with stunts and action that takes viewers on a fun ride. Between Adam’s vision and the stellar performances delivered by our incredible ensemble, we know the film will have strong market appeal both in the U.S. and internationally.”

A few pictures behind the scenes:

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