#cmon dawg what the hell

[igbeh]

mfw dylan sprayberry couldn't shave his whole hideous mustache+beard combo for the teen wolf movie but is clean-shaven on the red carpet premier 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 ill punch you in your stupid head

[todayisafridaynight]

We rlly don’t need another majima game 😭 please give other characters a chance he already had the spotlight in 0😔

lord if i speak on goro majima.

[plsleafmelon]

love how when i test against dummy i overkill with a lot to spare and now when im actually doing my meat farming i can accidentally leave 5% of its fucking hp. what the hell.

[midnightwriter21]

demon slayer hcs: hashira men w/ a tiny SO

characters: fem!reader x tengen, sanemi, rengoku

warning: suggestive content

AN: i’m writing this from the pov of someone that’s short af. like 4’11 (cause that’s how tall i am lol) enjoy~

TENGEN

god he’s so hot

let’s get straight into the gross shit huh?

i just KNOW

that this man is NASTY

size kink size kink size kinkkkkkkk

dawg is huge

his one hand can almost wrap around ur entire waist

manhandles u all over the place

yes please

anyways now that we’re done with that-

he will make fun of u

juuuusssstttt a little bit

but its all fun and games

will never take it too far

takes things out of your hands just to hold them over his head

likes to see u jump to reach it

high five?

his hand is all the way up

arm straight

high five him in the face if u get fed up

won't hurt him anyways

he'll prob think its funny

will also do that shit where he looks right over ur head and is like "has any one seen y/n?"

carries u around

u don't remember what it feels like to have ur feet on the ground at this point

he’s doing push-ups?

sit on his back

100% will bench press you for fun

you’ll be walking past him

you blink and all of a sudden ur in the air

calls u stupid corny nicknames like “short stack”

SANEMI

now this man

his ego is through the roof

size kink?

uh yeah

will tease the hell out of u

putting stuff on the top shelves so u can't reach

and don't think he's gonna give in and help u

oh no he likes to watch u struggle

now i think sanemi LOVES a fiery woman

but give him a lil too much attitude?

he's throwing u over his shoulder and walking off

and he's gonna remedy that situation dw

remember i said size kink?

he's about to remind you just how much bigger than you he really is

will RUIN u

protective!!

doesn't matter if ur a slayer or not

still not as strong as him

and to sanemi

smaller=more breakable

now don't get it twisted

dude does NOT think ur weak

cmon you really think the mf Wind Pillar would be with someone totally weak?

absolutely not

again. u don’t have to be a slayer

there are different types of strength bae

he's just gonna keep an extra close eye on you thats all

RENGOKU

i am so soft for him

literal sweetheart

can't reach something?

kyojuro is already handing it to you

or picking u up so u can reach it

he's not gonna tease you about your height

he's the one showering you in complements

telling you how you're perfect the way you are

never wants you to feel annoyed or insecure about your size

he's a lil more protective too

don't get caught climbing the countertops to reach something

cause he's pulling u down with a

"honey that's dangerous! what if you fell and hit your head?"

like kyo

baby boy

u realize i had a life before i met you right?

ur a professional countertop climber at this point but he does not care

don't do it again

also he's teaching you to fight if u don't alrdy know how

just in case he's not there to protect you one day

best teacher 10/10

won't bend down to kiss u tho

he likes that you have to get on ur tiptoes and balance urself against him to reach his lips

thinks its cute

he's so boyfriend

[ilovechubbieguys]

if/when you decide to do that softwilly arranged marriage fic,,, i will explode BUT IN A GOOD WAY i need it so bad AAURRGHHG

I GOT YOU DAWG IM SUPER MAN I CAN DO 2 ON GOING STORIES AT ONCE I MUST GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT 😜

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Pretty please

-on going series f!reader, spoiled!reader warnings if needed on chapters arranged marriage with nick angst, fluff, and smut on diffrent chapters

------------------------🎀------------------------

My family had come from a very wealthy background. And i mean it when i say it. I was always held to such a high standard. Parties? No. Bad grades? No. Drinking?? HELL NO. But my parents wherent crazy or so i thought....

May 9th, i woke up in my white bed that was decorated with a white faux fur blanket and a pink throw blanket along with stuffed animals and throw pillows scattered about.

I went down the long stairs that led to the kitchen and asked my cook to make me some pancakes. I loved my cook he practically raised me since daddy was always so busy with "business" and mom was never home anyway.

But recently they where acting diffrent. For once daddy didnt have a meeting to be at and mom cancled her business trip. This only ever happened when they needed to break news to be that i was not gonna like.

Daddy says i have a tendency to throw tantrums when i dont get my way but i just dont like being told no. Is that such a problem?

My mom sat at the chair to my right and daddy sat to my left, he put a hand on my shoulder and let out a sigh. I could tell i was not gonna like what was about to come out of his mouth next.

"Hey sweetie i got somthing i needa tell ya" i put my cup of juice down and looked at him "what is it daddy?" I say with a big smile letting him know if its not somthing good im gonna be upset.

He clears his throat before finishing "so you remeber Miss donna right?" I pretend to think for a second before replying "oh ya she was nice, what about her" i say impatiently "well you know how shes a little more wealthy then us? And you know how daddies business hasnt been doing to well?"

"Well ya but you said it was just a little scare and that it would go back to normal within a week" i say with a slight frown "i thought it would but its only getting worse" he says looking down "so what does this have to do with miss donna? More importantly what does this have to do with me??" Daddy grabbed my hand and squized it reassuringly

"We promised you over to her son nick.."

I sat frozen in my seat waiting for them to say there where kidding and we where gonna go for brunch on the yacht but they didnt say anything...did daddy really sell me off?

"You cant do this daddy! I dont even know him! Why wouldnt you ask me!" I say standing up from my seat and backing away from him

"Honey cmon im sorry its whats best for the family.."

"You have got to be kidding me. IM ENGAGED TO A MAN I DONT EVEN KNOW?"

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BE READY FOR PART 2 🎀

[pumpkinsy0]

since your literally se hinton, i need to know what kind of laugher each of the shepards are

whose running, clapping, ugly laughing, wheezing, covering their mouth, etc

u cant be tellin ppl that dawg cmon🙄🙄🙄 not everyone knows🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

tim- doesnt rlly laugh, he mostly chuckles, but when u can get him to VERY RARELY get him to bust a GUT laughing, hes the guy hitting u hard as hell, u feel a lil sting when he hits u

angela- she covers her mouth while laughing, not even like bc shes insecure, just a habit of hers, she laughs pretty loudly, if shes rlly close to u she snorts

curly- THIS FUCKING GUY??? the chuckler, the giggler, the laugher, he things everything a fucking game🙄, he will fall off his seat or run, show his teeth, literally so extra, he yells a bit right before he laughs, sometimes he chokes

they all laugh like hyenas if u make them laugh hard enough, they got that laugh where u will always hear and remember it, im dying on this hill

[lozmastermm]

Review of Silent Hill 2 Remake

Play the original.

There's nothing here, it's just worse haha. This gameplay is shiiiiiiiit. Visuals and performance even worse, audiomixing doesn't even make sense. I just don't get why it's incapable of being playtested a bit before finalization. Dodging simply doesn't work because the enemies have wide ranges, randomly attack, and poorly communicate any timings for their attacks. Hitboxes broken, dodging is random in it's name, and enemies aren't fun to interact with.

Like...it's a survival horror and you don't have enough healing items or ammo to keep up with this shitty modern shooter gameplay going on here. I miss when you shot your gun and it would hit, and it wasn't yet another layer of skill you require to even use anything. The hit-reg/hit-boxes are simply broken, so often a shot is middle of the head or body and it doesn't register at all.

Melee combat is dreadful, where as in the original it was meant to encourage you not to combat as often as possible, SH2 throws enemies in your way so often that you have no choice but to interact with the pissy poor combat. It's rather incredible somebody said yes to this, you need to make movement work alongside your dumbass fast-paced dodge mechanic, not against it, you need to have enemies with readable attack patterns at readable paces with a limited scope for attack, when they just spam back to back wide swings or wide sprays? The fuck...are you doin' dawg? CMon this ain't hard! Playtest!!! Lord.

Because of this I can already tell it's just gonna be a draining, massive slog. It's not difficulty, it's just poor mechanics and testing, like they threw 2 enemies that both wide swung back to back knocking me uncontrollably into a corner, killing me instantly, it was an immediate knowing this was a gameover with no recovery. Boo. Playtest. It really isn't that hard, you play it, ya see it's bullshit and instantly makes a player no longer interested, and then ya fix it! Easy!!!

Much like the performance issues. Instead of relying on fuckin TAA/upscalers that make the entire visual experience quite literally unviewable, you could just reduce your fuckin' scope and thus budget and thus cost to consumer by using baked lighting and better culling! Yippee! Optimization! Or hell, just having Good Visuals that don't rely on thousands of dollars of hardwar- what the fuck is goin' on with the lighting dude? Oh my god that hair! Why!?

Another problem I have is they're clearly trying to write James as a psychopath of sorts, your "Trap" (The Movie by M Night Shimalymadingdong) character stereotype. Worked for that movie, not for an established character. The awkward acting of the original truly is a perfect execution of artistic intent and atmosphere, characterization and more. Where as this James just wants to kill. No like tell me he doesn't sound and look like a generic non-feeling double life murderer. Shit way to handle his characterization is all, it's either they failed their intention or their intention is just garbage interpretation of the original, or worse, a reimagination. To put it simply, this James is not broken due to his wife, he was born a psychopath who lived a double life of unfeeling murder and being an unfeeling good husband. She was just an excuse to his double life's existence, and it's a fuckawful interpretation of the character, intentional or not, it's incredibly not vague in it's poor direction, at least to me. Is it the modern models not able to be realistic in facial capturing whereas the original left it to interpretation through rather unambiguous facial animation technology of the time? Or is it the god awful redesigns of these characters that honestly ruin the purposeful bodies chosen explicitly for their roles. Idunno.

It's has moments of decency but it's falling apart the more I analyze and return to it. I've already booted up the Enhanced Edition I've had for a long while now and haven't played yet, in fact I haven't played the OG in a long while, I remember not liking it as much as SH3 or SH1, the combat was frustrating, but manageablely so since it was designed around the controls being the way they are, and thus the level design and enemy design too. Not so much in the remake, it's just kinda a mess and hopes shit works out and most the time won't.

Basically you're gonna have game overs at random and every combat encounter is going to feel like an absolute gankfest and they don't provide literally any alternative but hoping to god shit works out. It's really, really lame. Feels like they had blocking at one point and cut it out, not fixing stuff up from such a crutch of design.

Timing your dodges only gets you so far, directing them too, when an enemy locks onto you and wide angle attacks, you have no chance. If they don't do any wide angle attack, you can get away with no damage, if they spam it you're just straight fucked and in these small ass rooms where they've designed it around you constantly having to be behind them, and them 180 turn wide angle attacking, you've exhausted the direction that works best and cannot possibly get space most of the time, it's just not fun or interesting, it feels like they thought this was what survival horror was. Relentless assault where you have a broken ability to randomly avoid damage in frustratingly small rooms, not about getting good at movement and quickly or slowly adapting to level design (oh gee it's kinda like Dark Souls is one of few games to understand this aspect) Nahhh just throw 2 mannequinns in a thimble sized room after an hour of no more than 1 healing item.

Y'know, you can turn your flashlight off and walk by most of the enemies in the original...that uh, doesn't work here. It reduces visibility by a fraction of an inch. Yippee, another broken (feeling) feature...

Meh! That's really it. It's not given me shit to really look forward to pushing through, and it's refused to launch in the past. Idunno man, it's just a generic modern title with a compromised but good story on top of it. Like...I've played this game before but better? Why are they cloning Resident Evil? It feels...really...really pathetic. I don't say that insultingly I just mean like, wow, you really didn't have any idea other than copying them. Right down...to...the broken dodge mechanic of RE3RE! Oh wow! Wowee. That's extra pathetic because that shit is what ensured that game would never be regarded well. And they full-sale cloned it, head to toe, flaws and all.

Oh and Konami didn't want a PC version, because they haven't learned a damn thing. Overall I could just say this and it'd be all anyone needs:

Konami.

That basically settles it for me. I might come back if I'm feeling like wasting my precious moments of feeling okay on it again, but odds are high I'm just gonna go play the OG and have the 8/10 experience I had many years ago. Followed by the 9 that is SH3. Idunno man, it's just funner when the game's scope ensures quality and playtesting instead of advertisability and profitability. Sure, in reviews, people may say the god awful broken combat is intentional, but oho boy if those reviewers had a clue past the marketable visuals.

Gameplay matters, and all games being commodified into samey feeling behind the shoulder CSGO tier aiming (without the quality hit-reg) is starting to get grating. I was kinda willing to accept it for the RE Remakes but now that I've continually not been able to finish or start the remakes whilst having completed several of the OG's time and time again (I first played them in 2018), I'm starting to finally formulate what I think the issue is with modern gaming compared to retro:

Retro Gaming was not just a Visual and Movie-Like experience. it was a Game First and it knew that, down to Survival Horror Flavor Text, it was Gamey, the horror was In-Game and presented as such. Think Undertale without the self-awareness of it's existence. Flavor Text, little sequences, scripted events, the animations of characters, the environment, these were all Gamey, and it's difficult to describe, whilst Flavor Text is NOT my primary thing, it's one of those aspects that's considered "gamey" and thus removed, it's something to consider, what other small, seemingly forgettable aspects built up this unique sandcastle? That they then cut so it wouldn't be "immersion breaking"

Thus, they made Good Gameplay First, and then made a good story on top of it, (not literally) as the main audience at the time were still wanting to Play Good Games, this meant something like a Survival Horror would be running against Racing Games, Arcadey titles, a variety. Thus, it meant they had to have not only an identity, but an intrigue, something to pull you in on a personal, or emotional level. But even still, you're there to play games, they knew the deal. If there's action, that action needs to be designed in a way the player has control over, but only if they adapt and stay calm. (not just spam attack wide angles 360 no scope bullshit)

Now? It's movies. I don't want to play RE2RE because there's the section with the little girl in the orphanage, the Ada section, collecting the pieces to reach those points, that's all so very painful to get through to the point I legitimately don't remember anything after it anymore. Hardcore difficulty just feels like a waste of time, it's all meant to be Livestreamed, Let's Played, it's meant to be Second Hand Experienced at times it feels. Like you're here for the Cinematics, the Epic Scripted Sequences, you're not here for good gameplay, you're here for 'The Merit' of beating this obnoxiously difficult fuckawful difficulty mode.

Gameplay is such a small consideration of modern triple a gaming anymore, and you can Feel That with the RE Remakes and the SH2 Remake, it's shallow, the gameplay is obnoxious, the visuals are compromised as fuck and only look "good" after Youtube/Twitch compression, or on a couch far from a TV, which a PC player ain't doin' most of the time. Hell, the identity of Survival Horror has been boiled down to an action shooter again, it's Over The Shoulder, exceptional control and fast reaction gameplay. No longer is it a thinking game of location and timing your shots or reloads. It's no longer learning the puzzle of the situational gameplay the developer put forth with the mechanics they've made, it's a cinematic experience where you're almost held by the hand to ensure you don't become utterly lost due to not paying attention., no one is allowed to be dumb and be punished anymore, everyone is punished equally and the only way to progress is to just push through the monotony for Yet Another Cutscene.

Sure even in RE2 there's the (exceptionally boring) Ada/lil gorl section, but at the least I can say I prefer spending 1-3 minutes depending on if I'm emulating and speeding up, vs 10-15 on something desperately not in established genre, like golly gee, I really just do not care to have primary gameplay stopped for the 4th wheel.

Idunno, if someone enjoys it that's fine obviously like I'm not god (yet) and I forgive your sin regardless, but I miss when a game had identity and thus a strong intentional and passionate design, instead of this...rather amateur hour cinematic content that's banking on reviewers focusing on them not absolutely fucking it up, keeping up the infinitely rising scope standards with ever so dwindling returns and vastly VASTLY higher costs all around for sole sake of marketability, and that, by golly, it sure does resemble the thing it's mimicking poorly, and oh boy, it's got raytracing, and other technology, please ignore how little we write about gameplay anymore please please focus on What Performance Settings You Should Use!!! And so long as your favorite LiveStreamer isn't too critical it means it's perfection! And not another example of a dying genre that is Gaming for the thriving hell that is 6x pricier half-movies with long playable cutscenes.

I just miss when the gameplay felt completely in tandem with story and not the story railroading gameplay that's identity is compromised into something I just...don't fuckin' care for anymore man. I've done shooters all my life, It's the same, god damn thing everytime. Oldschool Survival Horror is fun because it's no longer "challenging my CSGO skills" it's challenging my ability to scan a room for safety, to fine-tune my movement skills, to manage resources and take risks. Not "can you dodge and that might not work anyways" meh.

Don't be offended if anything I imagine I'll come back to it and figure out what I'm doing wrong but so far I've exhausted what these controls have provided. It's just not good feeling, it looks good, I guess, but it's rather tedious and frustrating. I might just need to lower difficulty, or say fuck it and finally shoot a bullet despite feeling like 40's pretty damn low. I've only got 2 coins. Just gotta Push Through It, and Maybe It'll Get Good!

[poguegirl]

hey, don’t close your eyes

DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN SEASON 2

desc. when you are celebrating the pogues reuniting, rafe crashes the party with his gun

warnings. blood, angst, swearing

“WHOOO!”

JJ yelled as you shotgunned a beer inside the hot tub, having one hand up in the air from JJ holding it up in congratulations.

You threw the can away and yelled with your tongue out, everyone laughing amongst you. JJ hauled you up by your waist and held you there as you gripped onto his shoulders for more support. They all whooped and cheered.

The pogues were back baby.

In the next minute you were smoking a blunt Kie passed to you. Taking a hit as Pope rapped about school, “They say I come in the party and cause commotion, I’m smooth yeah, call me lotion.”

Everyone bursted into laughing fits as you clutched onto JJ’s arm and fell forwards giggling your ass off. He laughed alongside you and held you beside him as he bent his head down and kissed your shoulder blade. Him seeing you giddy and happy was always a gift to JJ.

You two had been dating for months now and they were the greatest months you could ask for. Even if you broke John B’s rule.

Time passed by before JJ and Pope were throwing punches at their shoulders sarcastically, each time they did you let out a small laugh.

“Go Pope!!” Kie cheered from beside you.

“Yeah JJ!” You grinned and held your arms up clapping.

JJ looked over to you and smiled with a wink, looking down and biting is lip before continuing his shenanigans. In seconds they were on the ground and wrestling. You whooped and hollered for JJ to win, but he lost to Pope.

“New technique!” John B laughed.

Pope nodded his head and grinned, standing he held his hand out for JJ to stand and waved goodbye as he headed off the beach. Shortly after, Kie stood and left to go and find him.

“Really?” Says Sarah as she subconsciously braids your hair.

“Oh yeah.”

“Way to be discreet!” Shouted JJ as they disappeared.

“I leave and this happens?” Asks John B as he looks between you and JJ accusingly. You smile and laugh as you look to JJ shrugging your shoulders and looking away jokingly.

“Are you blaming me?” JJ held his heart sarcastically.

“A little bit… oh, it’s beer time.” With that John B stood and left to get himself a drink.

Sarah and JJ continued to jokingly argue about pogue and pogue macking, disregarding you and JJ’s relationship. Soon after JJ stood and spoke with John B.

You looked down to your hands as Sarah hummed to herself before speaking, “Did you know me and John B got married?” You paused and turned to look up and her as she bit down her lip and grinned. “No fucking way.” Sarah nodded, “I mean not legally but…. yknow.” You smiled and sat back down, “That’s awesome Sarah, seriously.”

She laughed and said a thank you. The two deserved to be happy, they had both gone through so much together.

JJ and John B walk over again, the both of them wiping her eyes as if they had an emotional moment. You looked away and were about to make conversation before John B butt in, “Did you hear that?”

“What? Your chicken?” JJ thought out loud.

“I heard a car door.” He noted

JJ starts to cluck like a chicken and flap his arms as John B reaches over to cover his mouth with his hand to shut him up.

You sit up and look to the sound squeezing your eyes to look clearer, instantly you heard talking and stood. Shushing everyone you pointed to the tree as John B helped Sarah up. You started to climb right after her, JJ under you for support as you gained your footing.

“Go go go go” You ushered under your breath as you urged the boys to hurry, taking a seat on a branch quietly as you held onto the trunk. Shortly JJ emerged and took a seat on the branch in front of you.

Seconds later Rafe and Barry came, whispering words to each other as they crouched and held guns in their hands completely unaware that they were in the tree.

Your eyes welled up and you placed a hand over your mouth to stifle any sounds that crept up.

Barry stood and kicked the door open, holding his pistol up at gun point as he scanned the area for us. It was clear their objective was to kill us. Rafe stood by the bonfire, looking around. “Where the hell are you.” He yelled out.

Rafe paced around the fire mindlessly, picking his hands up and putting them on his neck.

JJ reached back and grabbed your knee, rubbing it to soothe your nerves in any way. Your gripped his hand tightly as your body shook.

Glass breaking made you jump as Barry stormed out of the house. “Anything?” Rafe asked, “No, there ain’t shit in there bro.” Barry answered angrily, “No? Nothing?” He yelled questionably, “No, nothing, Rafe.”

“They we’re obviously just here because of the smoke.” Noted Rafe. “Yeah, yeah, yeah great observation boy scout.” Barry taunted, “Well they’re not far yknow? They gotta be around here somewhere.”

It got quiet for a bit, tightening your hold on JJ’s hand before Rafe spoke again, “‘P4L’” He snorted and shook his head looking down, “Well shit.” He added “So your sister’s a pogue for life, huh, Rafe? Now who would’ve thought?” Barry taunted Rafe as he walked closer.

Rafe nodded his head rapidly as he squeezed his eyes shut and opened them again, “Shit!” Rafe yelled, “All right chill—“ Barry spoke.

You hear a gun shift off the safety and multiple gun shots ring through your ears as you feel a new hard pressure in your stomach. You could feel your heart beating in your ears, your breaths were uneven and short as time slowed.

“Chill! Chill chill chill your ass out, you’re gonna get us busted, dawg!” Barry’s shouts were hard to hear as all you could hear was your heart beating madly in your ears as time around you slowed.

“Let’s go Let’s go Let’s go…” Their voices faded as you blinked, looking down at your stomach. Your hand was clutching your body instinctively, slowly you forced your hand away and saw blood begin to bleed into your clothes.

You sucked in a deep breath as you swayed in your seat on the branch. “Y/n…… Y/n…… Hey! Hey, are you listening?” JJ’s voice would cut in as you looked up and found his eyes, instantly he caught on to your pale skin and ghostly eyes.

“Woah woah, hey, Y/n!” He grabbed your arm to stop you from falling backwards, “Let’s get down, cmon.” He eased you down as you never took your hand off from your stomach. He hopped down beside you and looked down to you.

“JJ..” Your voice croaked as your hand gripped as his shirt, your bloodied hands dirtying his clothes. “It hurts…” You muttered as you removed your hand from your side, the blood was much worse. It had expanded all around your shirt and blood was gushing from the it. Slowly you fall forwards as you felt your legs give out from under you.

JJ caught you and started to freak out himself, laying you on the ground as he shouted your name. John B and Sarah running over as they realized what was going on, quickly John B applied pressure to the wound as JJ gripped your face. “Stay with me!!” Yelled JJ as he began to cry. “Call an ambulance!” John B screamed to Sarah.

You’re sight was dizzy and beginning to darken. You found yourself looking at JJ, reaching your bloodied hand towards his face as you shakily wiped his tears as he continued to shout at you to stay awake.

“Please…. Fuck! Y/n stay with me!” He cried and gripped your cheeks tighter.

“I cant live anymore…. without you I have nothing!” JJ confessed through his never ending tears as John B remained silent, his own tears slipping from his eyes.

You managed a small smile and let tears fall down your cheeks. “I love you..” You coughed out blood as some remained on your lips, “P4L.” Whispering those words as your strength in your arm gave out and the hand on his cheek started to slip before he grabbed it and held it tightly, bringing it back to his cheek.

“No.. Y/n, look at me. Hey, don’t close your eyes, please.” He said quickly as your eyelids began to close. He shook your head in an attempt but they remained closed.

“…No… Fuck!” He sobbed out as he laid his head on your chest, his tears leaving stains.

The world around you stopped, your hearing stopped, your senses stopped, all there was left was nothing.

[passionesolja]

Why Bruno Bucciarati is a Better Man Than Obi Wan Kenobi

I’m sick and tired of the obi wan Kenobi dickriding. Y’all gassing up Kenobi and he failed a child. One child.

Bruno is a mob man who has to take care of 2 to 3 children, a man who wear the tiger skin pants and a crop top in public 24/7, and an gothic alcoholic who is his boyfriend (cmon they got something going on).

This is the series finale of the lil versus battles I do so I’m going out like a bad bitch. Like blue face say “I’m finna get disrespectful in this mf”.

Swag

Bruno a literal fashion icon. Araki literally said “damn I need a character for the Gucci collab? He and Jolyne will be in it” he has been in the Gucci store, looking hardsome as fuck. How the fuck he wear a bob cut and still look good? How the fuck he wear lingerie in public and still look fine? How the fuck he have big ass zippers on his clothing and still look handsome? A bitch do not know.

Meanwhile, Kenobi dressing dusty and stale like some bread. Dude literally got the dirt colorways on. Kenobi ain’t in the mob, he ain’t grinding and hustling hard like dawg couldn’t even bring himself to color coordinate it. Dawg can’t even pull off the simple color schemes like Bruno did.

Kenobi, at least Luke had the Chanel boots on. Bitch your boots from Ross.

Who Had Resolve

Did Bruno hide when he knew what was right? No. He said “nah fuck this I can’t hand over the boss (who I work for) his daughter because he’ll kill her.”

Bruno could have easily fled with Trish and nem somewhere. Because that The easy option. The safest. He could have run away but he ain’t.

Bruno died at 20 years old, but not before watching the youngest and oldest member of his team die terrible deaths. All based on them agreeing to pursue Bruno’s ambition with him.

Keep in mind, Diavolo is more powerful than Sidious.

He ain’t ever run. He ain’t leave and run. Unlike a certain someone.

Kenobi choose to run. He could have stood and fought until the end but he said “no I think I’ll let someone else do this 20 years in the future when the galaxy has gotten worst”

Bruno would never did that. That real resolve. He said “fuck the odds. We gon do this dead or alive” and he did it. He ain’t even live see the fruits of it, but he accomplished his dreams regardless. He followed his moral code.

Kenobi said “nah fuck the whole galaxy who I think is going to be thrown in turmoil. I’ll run away and try to make this baby do it when he 20 or some. Not my responsibility lmaooo”

Who Actually Cried When Their Peoples Died

Kenobi did not give a fuck about what he did to Anakin. I’m sorry. He ain’t even have the Jedi compassion to actually kill Anakin. He had no mercy in his heart to humanely finish the man he knew for a decade.

Kenobi was fine just letting Anakin suffer and die in tremendous pain. Oh, but anakin was his “brother” right? Dawg, stop the cap. If that how you treat your “brother who you love” I don’t wanna be your enemy.

Dawg, when Abbachio died, Bruno bit his lip so hard it drew blood. (I’m linking the full anime scene because the panel don’t do it justice). Dawg had to bite back tears and breaking down so much he made himself bleed because he knew that if he broke down, it’d demoralize the team and that Abbachio’s murderer was close most likely. Dawg couldn’t even mourn his bestie—or his lul Soulja—before he died.

Dawg had to put his own personal feelings above immeasurable and crippling grief because it would jeopardize the whole team.

Meanwhile, Kenobi just couldn’t bring himself to take Anakin out his suffering the right thing to do because he “didn’t have in him”.

Keep in mind, it wasn’t like Leone knew Bruno nearly all his life like Kenobi and Anakin did. They had known each other for like 3-5 years max I assume.

Hell, Kenobi didn’t even mourn the Jedi’s death like that and those were his “family”

Dude fr acting like a robot who just got their emotional microchip in and the emotional meter isn’t sensitive.

Who Boyfriend is Hotter

One got NO bitches. No dudes. No nothing. The other got a fine, goth boyfriend who’s Stand makes fax machine noises. No competition here.

Conclusion

Obi wan would let you die even if y’all were friends for a decade. Bruno would fight for you and die for you if he knew you for three years.

[blindedveil]

ST s4 spoilers!!!

my god am i pissed off rn like holy hell they just HAD to kill off eddie right? i saw it coming n all but holy crap dude, this was such poor writing. only dustin and wayne mourn him??? are you kidding?? the rest don't even mention him, like at all, and his corpse is still in the upside down like wtf dawg whats going on- the insane amount of plot armour the main cast has is literally so insane man, max gets her bones snapped and survives vecna (lowkey wanted her to stay dead tbh) and steve get's beat up by bats but eddie can't survive? holy fuck man. duffer brothers can suck my balls dude, i want to see him get L + ratioed by a bunch a fuckin reagan voters nit him sacridicing himself. like cmon man. this writing was completely shit. AND im mad abt will bc they set it up for him to be able to come out as gay to jonathan but they don't confirm it so now we're stuck with fem aligned ppl sayin that hes not gay and its seriously pissin me tf off man, like i understand it's hard to come out, ive definetely been there but my god was it terrible.

[belle-keys]

I Love Matthew Fairchild aka Incoherent Thoughts about Chain of Iron (2021) by Cassandra Clare

I made one of these rant-rave reviews for SJM's book so check it out if you want, no pressure tho lmao.

Aight so I finished Chain of Iron last night and OMG I HAVE TO YELL like I loved it sooo much like yooo, I have a lot to say. I know the book is new so... beware for spoilers plebs.

Also context: I been reading the Shadowhunter books since I was 12 and I'm 19 now *insert dead emoji face* so yeah, I'm just so happy rn with where the Chronicles have come and the fact that they’re still ongoing *insert uwu face*. I remember when in like 2014-2015 or something when Cassandra Clare teased that Will and Tessa's kids' generation was gonna get a trilogy set in Edwardian London, loosely based on Great Expectations, and holy hell? I think that was perhaps one of the best days of my life considering how much I adore The Infernal Devices (that trilogy really changed the way I see YA literature... don't ask cus I won't shut up about it) (also yes I read TMI and loved it too but there's a “generation gap” between TMI and the other Shadowhunter books stylistically so don't ask me about that either cus I also won't shut up).

Anyway, shoo from here if you want a critical essay on Chain of Iron. I'm not providing that, this is just me raving here for the fun.

Listen... I want the bulk of this to just be two main things: The Matthew Situation, and then all the literary and judeo-christian meta aspects of it.

BUT I ALSO NEED TO TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE SO FRICK LET'S JUST START WITH THE OBVIOUS SHIT LIKE THE PLOT AND WHATEVER

Okay, the plot and writing and shit, let's get that out of the way:

The WHOLE Jack-the-Ripper-esque ambiance was just sooooo good man wow like I did not expect the book to take this cold turn but it worked so well. There was such a contrast between Jamie and Cordelia's warm little house and then the cold winter and the stabbings and shit and it felt like a nice little callback to the actual Ripper phenomenon that preceded them and a nod to the Whitechapel Fiend story from Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy.

Bitch OFC that whole thing with Wayland was a set-up like nawww that was too easy to spot and I get why Cordelia feels like shit about it.

Dawg Lucie was just the Among Us imposter here in that my girl was just venting and sneaking around with dead people and I was like nooooo girl run, don't deal with Fade this is a set-up THINK ABOUT JULES LUCIE THAT'S LIKE YO GREAT-GRANDSON *sobs* but yeah anyway my girl has death powers she gonna kill some bitches next book.

You see that confrontation between Lilith and Belial? MASTERPIECE DIALOGUE like this was the point within which I was just like "yo is this the book of Genesis or a YA Fantasy novel" like when Lilith said "I may have been cast out but I did not fall" like??????????????????? I YELLED she did not have to END Belial like that. What a bad bitch.

More on Lilith and Belial... "You, who brought nations into darkness? Shall I finally be able to tell the infernal realms you have gone mad, lost even the image of the Creator." HAHAHHAHAHA SHE SAID "YO BELIAL GO GET SOME THERAPY AND GET OFF MY ASS" LIKE??????

Ughhhh yasss Clare has improved writing diverse characters in this book compared to in The Dark Artifices in my opinion... I'm not gonna expand on it cus ain't nobody got time for that but like, I enjoyed how she wove Persian poetry and tales into the story and the way in which she writes Cordelia and Alistair. They're not caricatures of Persian people but rather multi-faceted beings who also happen to be Persian and I appreciate that. Also, Alistair and Thomas and Anna and Ariadne were just so fun and interesting to read as coupbles but also as individuals. She really higlighted diversity in a very natural manner. All I need is a hijabi character and I’ll die a happy woman lmao.

The level of META man like the references to Classics and art (I swear, she might have compared Matthew to angels out of Caravaggio AND Rosetti AND Boticelli paintings and I Am Living For It) and just all the quotes from holy books and shit omg I love it here like you really feel catapulted into the time period, she draws reference to external art and philosophy so well and I feel like she upped the notch on it in this book (didn’t know that was possible but it was the prose is BEAUTIFUL, archaic, but not pretentiously so). No, like the characters live in their OWN worlds of literature and art and history in the way we are living in THEIRS. They quote Wilde and Milton while we'll quote Clare. It's awesome.

This is an unusually structuralist take even from me but: I like the way the milieu social of the book, i.e., the high society Edwardian circles and their values, have a direct influence on the plot. James and Cordelia got married because society’s values essentially forced them to, not a demon. Cordelia abandons Jamie at the end of Iron because her shame as a woman in society and fear for her reputation made her, not a demon. Thomas and Alistair can't be together solely because of how Alistair tarnished the reputation of the Fairchilds and Lightwoods by using the horror of infidelity against them. Issues relating to marriage, gender roles, etc, stemming DIRECTLY from the time period rule the sequence of events to the same degree as the epic fantasy aspects (demons, Princes of Hell, the lore itself) do and I LOVE that dear God above.

OKAY THE GOOD SHIT LET US TALK ABOUT CHARACTERS AND SHIPS (N.B. but imma discuss Matthew and the Fairstairs situation separately below this portion):

Alistair's redemption arc: No, cus Alistair's redemption arc is honestly amazing. He really did change and it's not like his betterment as a person was linked to any one heroic deed but rather he simply decided he wanted to be better especially for his family and he decided to become a proper protective son, a caring brother, and an amiable friend. He fully owned up to his Malfoy tendencies and apologized without expecting forgiveness. He shows how he cares in the little ways and omg it's so sweet and tender. I really do want him to love himself now and be embraced by Matthew especially and the rest of the Thieves.

Dawg Lucie and Jesse are so funny to me like it's so hilarious how this girl fell in love with a whole ass ghost that no one else knows about like HHAHA. Are Lucie and Jesse my ult ship ever? Nah, but it's nothing to do with Clare, it's just that their relationship happened pretty quick and feels quite like something epicly romantic that Lucie herself would write. I just like slow burn and friends-to-lovers the most from Clare. To be honest part of me just wanted Lucie to not have a romantic arc all together but like, it's all good, I'm not complaining.

Okay Grace- like yooooooooooo I never hated her yunno. She has been abused and isolated all her life. It's not that she is a bad person, but rather that she does not know what being a person even entails. Can't even say she's a “doll” of a person cus she's never even been pampered like one by her family. I really started understanding her motivations since when they gave us her half-childhood with Jesse. I want better for her but cmon can she REALLY be saved???

GRACE X CHRISTOPHER *pretends to be shocked*... Okay, sometime in the middle of the Dark Artifices series some big brain put together a very thorough family tree of the families and like, it clearly showed that Grace and Christopher got married so like, lmfaooooo, I knew this was coming one way or another, but the journey to this ship is more important than the destination. Like in a way Christopher is such a cute baby lamb that it makes sense he'd end up being immune to her Grace-ness when he's just a cute little Einstein boiii. Like this is just so funny to me cus he's so oblivious to social conventions while she makes the milieu social her entire life so OFC it's gonna work. Like, this is such a worlds-colliding trope like just Give It To Me.

James and Grace - aw mannn Jamie just had me fricking wanting to hit a wall every two seconds cus like yooooooo every single time I think he and Cordelia are gonna stop being emotionally-constipated spouses, Jamie says some kinda shit like "omg me and Daisy are just friends uwu" like DO I NEED TO HIT YOU?????????? See I can't blame him for not slamming the door on Grace's face even tho he totes should- Jamie is so cerebral and kind that even if Grace wasn't using the enchantment on him, I think he would always be soft for her even if it isn't in a romantic way. There's just so much miscommunication cus like he said "Thank God" when she broke off the engagement with Charles and lowkey embraced her but it also wasn't his fault cus it wasn't even romantic BUT OFC IT LOOKED HORRIBLE TO CORDELIA like James literally never told the woman at least once that he loved her so OFC she thought she was back to square one with him dear God above what a mess. Not his fault, but she DID set down one rule for him: don’t cheat with Grace. And yeah even tho he hasn’t properly cheated, it must FEEL horrible to her cus she’s just been enduring the pain of their unrequeted love for so long :((

See imma just say it but if Cordelia thought that James didn't love Grace then she def would have confessed to him about her feelings right but like James, on the other hand, was delaying his own romantic confession cus he was BEING EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED and I can't even say the bracelet was solely to blame cus like my boi was just being so difficult omg I believe he should be lightly spanked by his three parents aka Will, Tessa and Jem *cries*.

Cordelia is such a MOM like she's so mature and stable and her self-preservation instinct? OFF THE CHARTS I love this woman like James definitely treated her well as a hubby but like I JUST WANTED HER TO HAVE CLOSURE ABOUT SOMETHING and boy oh boy she did get that closure she got it good but not from the person she expected in the LEAST *hehe* *pelican screeching*... like Lucie was being sus with the whole ghost business and James was being just, quite a case, dealing with Grace and Belial right and I don't blame them at all for their secrecy and shit but her FATHER DIED and her friends were hiding a lot from her so in a way she turned to Alistair for help but he could only do so much cus of his own pain (she couldn't even talk to her mom cus she's pregnant and she doesn't wanna stress her right) and then there was this emotional block between her and Jamie, Lucie was often absent and conspiring with the dead... the last person remaining was HIM (imma discuss this soon), but yeah my heart just went OUT to her cus she's tryna save herself and her family and she just doesn't know what to do. That's why I love the way her mom told her to stop holding herself back for others and live her own life. Like Cordelia grew on me so much cus in Gold she undoubtedly was a strange Elizabeth Bennet-wallflower hybrid and I... do not usually get attached to wallflowers but in Iron I feel like I finally understood that she was just tryna be unproblematic and self-preserving all along and nottt put her family and friends in a tough situation.... she reminds me of my mom personality-wise so yeah I’m totally rooting for her now that her *situation* in the past seems clearer.

Anna, Thomas and Matthew are such a SQUAD lmfaooooo like united in their gayness they'd be so unstoppable.

Will and Tessa are the most in-love of all the in-loves in this story and I respect that so much.

I lost a year to my life every time the romance between James and Cordelia got cockblocked. Like they were MARRIED and I thought they were gonna at least sleep next to each other at least once BUT NO James couldn't take a hint omg I'm actually gonna eat my fist and sob (but in retrospect, I think this serves a bigger purpose in terms of the narrative structure i.e. the interruption of all the spicy James and Cordelia action serves a bigger purpose which I think brings me to my next section, *exhale*)

Welcome to the Matthew Fairchild Enthusiast Club (this section is me talking out loud; it makes no sense):

bitch.

LISTEN TO ME LISTEN WELL I LOVE THIS BOY SO MUCH IMMA SCREAM I REALLY AM GONNA SCREAM MY FIST IS LITERALLY IN MY MOUTH *BACKFLIPS OFF THE ROOF WITH LANA DEL REY PLAYING*

Okay like where to BEGIN I think the Shadowhunter boy who I'm most attracted to is Julian while the one I love the most is Will but I think I see myself in Matthew the most. Like ever since that first story where the Thieves all met at the Academy then got expelled, I think that I just KNEW Matthew was destined to be epic. Plus the whole Wilde obsession? I’m no libertine myself but I just love his chaos and passion for life.

NO CUS HE'S SO WITTY AND SWEET AND EPIC AND YET SO SECRETIVE AND DEAR GOD ABOVE AHHHHH WILL HE SURPASS JULIAN FOR ME??? Ion even know but this is just sodjsgdwsdygyegydgef

Hear me out but I said after finishing Gold last March that I wanted this book to be Matthew's healing arc right so halfway into the book when I realized that we weren't getting all that good healing arcing I was confused just cus I thought it seemed natural to address all of his alcohol issues and sadness by now. LITTLE DID I KNOW CASSIE WAS SETTING UP A WHOLE OTHER ARC WITH HIM THAT I WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED WTH.

At first I thought Matthew didn't have feelings for anyone at all, and if he DID develop feelings unexpectedly, I fricking thought that maybe he's catching feelings for James, if anyone??? I mean, I did have some suspicions about Matthew from the get-go: like he's so secretive and as readers we think we know everything there is to know about him since we were all privy to the truth potion incident in his short story right BUT NO I GOT PLAYED AND I DESERVE IT SO BADDDDDD.

Listen I hadn't shipped him and Cordelia simply because I never thought it in the realm of possibility but it MAKES SENSE as a ship... think about it: he never says what he feels, he flirts with her like he does with EVERYONE, he is kind to her in the way he is with EVERYONE. Really, Matthew is shippable with everyone, doesn’t matter if they’re taken cus that’s just what his Matthewnes allows for ya feel. There is such a beautiful irony that CORDELIA herself did not see this coming. Even the little teasers and hints in Gold have only NOW started making sense to me likejhss. I just felt like the hints in book 1 did not indicate to me that Matthew really harbored real romantic feelings for Daisy. I thought he was upset that James and Cordelia were being fakes, not a developing CRUSH on the woman fgs.

Not to mention that you usually sense a ship building when the emotional connection or sexual tension between the characters is made clearer but to me their FRIENDSHIP grew right but it didn’t feel like Cordelia was thought that she liked him or he liked her so that means me and Cordelia are clowns *together* 😤

Okay I was lowkey having SUSPICIONS but I immediately shut them down right... like firstly when he took her to the White Horse in his car and she went OFF and OFF and off about how she felt free for the first time? I thought Cassie was just tryna develop Cordelia's self-liberation arc through Matthew there. Heck, I didn't even think ANYTHING of it when Matthew confession to Cordelia about the "truth potion" incident at all cus I was like they're FRIENDS??? BUT now it's adding up now...

See when they were at the inn place and he was telling her that she doesn't in the least seem like a 100 year-old married woman? I was like hmmmm he's so sweet but why did Cassie phrase it like that like??? When Cordelia later reiterated that she thought Matthew's flirting was “meaningless”?? I was like hmmm kinda SUS tho. And then when he and James had their fight over the way Jamie kissed Grace like again I thought he was just like? ion know? mad at James for it but I didn't think he was in LOVE with Cordelia??? So I immediately put aside my slight suspicions. The probability that he had a crush on James at that point seemed more likely to me.

BUT THEN it started hitting me that every time Matthew drank, even before he explained his issue with the truth potion, that Cordelia would note it, she would worry about him, she would think of her father which seemed so poetic to me, history repeating itself and all that but this time you can FIX it??? Yeah, but again I didn't think the L WORD would be involved man???

Now imma sound like a delulu shipper here but it just makes sense they would develop feelings logically- reason being that it definitely is possible based on the way Cassie set up the story, like there's a combination of little “friend things” that can turn this into a proper ship: Matthew rescues Cordelia in the ballroom when Grace captures James' attention in Gold. Cordelia sees her father in Matthew all the time but knows now she has a chance to be there for him in the way she couldn't have been there for Elias (classic “history repeats itself” trope, she doesn't want Matthew drinking in Paris like dhshghdfhdhch). Cordelia tastes freedom for the first time when driving with Matthew. Matthew caught James and Cordelia making out in the room and was pissed but not even HE properly knew why then??? Umm, when she thinks James is forreal cheating with Grace on her she subconsciously goes to Matthew??? I also found it funny just how every intimate marital moment between her and James got interrupted somehow. Like, it's as if the narrative is just a living force REFUSING to let James and Cordelia as a ship be consecrated. Heck, every time Matthew is scantily clothed Cordelia notes it. LITTLE CRUMBS I TELL YOU LITTLE CRUMBS.

I tell you when Cordelia showed up to Matthew's flat I thought they were gonna f*ck as friends but I got SOMETHING EVEN BETTER SOMEHOW

THEY ARE GOING TO PARIS LA BELLE EPOQUE PARIS THE PARIS OF DREAMS AND ART LIKE??? FRICKKKKK I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING AT ALLLL MAN? I deadass thought the story would be restrained to the UK but like it MAKES SENSE the trope subversion MAKES SENSE.

“In Paris, with you, I will not need to forget.” SHITTRGEGGGDG

BUT CORDELIA LOVES JAMES TOO LIKE I CAN'T DENY THAT... where are we GOING with this like Matthew wouldn't lie about his feelings and yet Cassie wouldn't give us Matthew and Cordelia crumbs to only end it in the next book immediately for her to just ditch him for James. I mean she was clearly holding back on fleshing out James and Cordelia as a ship for this but to WHAT END??? Daisy feels wild and free with Matthew and she feels warm at home warm with James. I can’t advocate for the sinking of ANY ship here.

Imma say what we're all thinking: Is she gonna give us a Will x Jem x Tessa type situation where Cordelia gets both of them cus I'm not strong enough for this but I also think it'd be really funny if James gets a surprise bi awakening in the next books and then we get POLY even tho this would never happen, it’s actually impossible, because of the whole parabatai thing.

Listen I ship Cordelia and Matthew much more than Cordelia and James, not that I dislike James in any way tho. It's just: Matthew is so unrestrained and she's so composed. They seem like an unlikely pair so it makes sense that they hit harder for me. James and Cordelia have such similar personalities but I ALSO don't ship James with Grace at all so like?? Poly would be... ideal... but it can’t happen especially cus they are fricking parabatai... a Will-Jem-Tessa situation seems more likely but mannnn ion know what to expect. I just want FAIRSTAIRS to have their moment in Paris. I mean James and Matthew clearly don't abhor each other for this.

Take everything I say with several grains of salt, take everything I say with the whole Dead Sea actually, cus I damn well know that Matthew is so flirty and whatnot that I’d have shipped him with anyone in their little circle but now that she set him up with Cordelia it all feels so right?? I have wanted this man in a good relationship since he walked onto the page in Nothing But Shadows so-

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I can't believe Cassia duped me like this omg, Matthew is gonna have his healing arc in Paris with Cordelia by his side like- THIS IS ALL I HAVE WANTED AND SO MUCH MORE. Question to yall btw: are you all as surpised at Fairstairs as me or did yall see it coming all along like smart people? Am I a lone clown? 🥺

BRUH okay criticisms of CC?:

Lmfao a part of me feels like I GOTTA say something bad about CC or the book but honestly I have no objective complaints about it as of now. Am I saying that it’s the PEAK of Young Adult literature and Urban Fantasy? I mean, I make no such claims tbh. I’m not here to be critical when I read as a hobby and when CC’s writing makes me happy regardless of how flawed some people see it.

Okay what next?

So like I’m excited for the adult high fantasy she’s releasing in the fall and whatever other works she might be releasing outside of Chain of Gold within the Chronicles.

As for TLH itself? Man I’m just VIBING like I suspect I will reread Chain of Iron soon and maybe one of the anthologies just because I am happy that this series actually happened after me waiting like 6 years for it when it was just a concept: a Dickensian retelling filled with poetry and culture and history and the conventions I so loved in TID at age 12. This is all I been wanting tbh. I’m just enjoying watching this series come to fruition for it to inspire and transform me in some way. I feel like in a way my coming-of-age aligns with that of these specific characters yet I ALSO feel like I raised Jamie since infancy. Wack.

MATTHEW AND CORDELIA IN FRANCE LA BELLE EPOQUE TO BE EXACT IMMA CRY I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING AND AHHHHHH. ALSO WILL AND JAMIE GOING TO CORNWALL TO GET LUCIE AND MAYBE BOND I LOVE WILL. HE WAS ONE OF MY DILF AWAKENINGS AT AGE 12 AND NOW HE’S HERE AGAIN IMMA CRY. I WANNA SEE MATTHEW GET HAPPY. AHHH.

Ending with a fun quote: “In the wise words of someone or other, there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy, Maurice.” 😉

[thousandsunnywrites]

Serendipity

Luffy & reader; platonic

the origins of Luffy’s smile

a/n: happy birthday king♡

“Ha! Brace face, brace face!” A swarm of middle school kids single out a tiny boy, not above the age of 12, and backing him up to a corner of the cafeteria. It was a Monday my dudes, and you know what that means— it was the start of another dreadful morning for Monkey D. Luffy... or as what the other kids say, Monkey D. Brace Face. 

Growing up, Luffy has had some whack ass teeth and Dadan being the good guardian that she is, forced him to get these metal restrictions on his teeth for a nicer smile.

“Shut up!” A bit of drool peeks out as his words slur together, “leave me alone or else I’ll kick your ass!” The kids laugh even more, nobody daring to help the poor Luffy out of his predicament. 

“Horse face!”

“Beaver mouth!”

“Nerd! What a loser!”

“Metal mouth! Train tracks!”

Out of frustration, Luffy growled as his legs lunged towards them like a ravish beast. Just in time, Principal Garp’s reflexes caught him mid air, effectively preventing Luffy from biting the heads off of the little twerps.

“Boys! Office! Now.” 

After a few phone calls to parents, the endless teasing faded into the distance as Luffy stayed behind in the office.

“Boy, quit getting into trouble will ya? Can’t keep covering your ass forever y’know.” Garp swung his legs onto the desk, leaning against his chair to comfortably enjoy his donut. 

“I know. I know,” he repeated, stubbornly refusing to look at his grandpa, “they started it! They call me brace face and train tracks. They’re annoying so I thought to kick them in the head to shut them right up.”

“You’re liking I’m not telling dear old Dadan.” Shivers run down Luffy’s spine. Nobody likes it when Dadan is mad, especially Luffy. Last time he made her mad, he was homeless for a week. 

“Aight, thanks old man! Well that settles it—“ he turns on his heel, “see ya around!”

“Wait! Keep your mouth shut next time.” Garp exhales a big breath, “and bring me my donut.”

He doesn’t like to smile. There was no reason to smile because every time he did, he always ran into trouble. 

He hates smiling. He hates his stupid teeth. Hates how people are so fucking mean because he’s different. It never really bothered him until now; puberty really be no joke, even if he was a little late to the party.

In amidst his sad train of thoughts, he ran into this girl in the middle of an empty hall, who uhm, had a very interesting fashion choice—tank top over a shirt with some colored leggings, a stack of bangles decorating her wrists all the way up to her forearm and whew don’t let me get started on those leg warmers. 

“Oh, hey! Never seen you around before,” he smiled, the metal protruding from his mouth, “shishishi, you’re weird!” He took a closer look at you, taking you aback from his honesty.

“O-oi! These are cool!” Proudly displaying the matching rings on your hand, Luffy’s smile became impossibly bigger. “And I’m not weird, fish eyes. I just happen to be way ahead of my time.”

“I like you. I’m Luffy!”

You introduced yourself and returned the smile, only to retract it back when he called you the wrong name. This was the start of the strangest friendship, who would’ve thought Thomas the train tracks and ugly Betty McGee would become friends?

—-

“Ha??? What’s this? Ugly Betty and the Ugly Fuckling got together!” The bully boys were back, disheartening Luffy’s new profound confidence. “gRR SHUT UP,” his big mouth says without processing, “pick on someone your own size jackass!”

“Can’t do that since there’s nobody above me, moron.” The boy grabbed the milk from Luffy’s tray and squeezed it, the warm milk splashing all over his face. “Take that, pathetic loser. That’s what you get for getting us in trouble the other day! I’ll rip that shit from your teeth if you test me again, nerd!”

Before the bitchass can do anything more, you stood up for Luffy. “Back off buddy. Luffy was literally breathing and you came over. Stop picking on someone defenseless.” 

He scoffed and commended your retort mockingly. To show his unwavering resolve, he dunked the nearest tray all over your Hannah Montana jacket. “Fucking sucker.”

The kids stopped eating and paid attention to the scene that was about to go down. 

“Leave Y/n out of this.”

“Try and stop me Thomas.”

That was the last straw. A punch was thrown across his face, knocking him down, his cockiness replaced with fear. “You can insult me all you want, you jerk,” he spat out, “but don’t you ever DARE hurt my friend. Because next time, I’ll give you more than a black eye. I’ll beat your ass.” 

Everyone watched in shock. Luffy was on top of the table, fists balled and nostrils flaring. The bully looked so helpless.

“Damn it LUFFYY,” Garp’s voice boomed throughout the cafeteria, causing Luffy to scramble off the desk and run away, laughing, while pulling you along with him. 

—

And from there, middle school was great. It was almost like a fairytale adventure! The amount of pranks pulled and not giving a single fuck of what people thought was what really made it memorable. The laughter and Luffy’s toothy smiles were a bonus. Alas, it was the end of an era when promotion happened and you had to leave, but at that time, Luffy wasn’t alone anymore; he now had the grumpy little moss head named Zoro by his side.

“Are you sure you have to go?”

“I’m sure I’m not tryna be left behind!”

His hands crossed behind his head as he kicked the nearest pebbles on the floor. “How sure are you?”

“Pretty sure I’m leaving with my fam, bro.” You slammed the last of your tunics into your stocky suitcase. “But all the memories we shared... they were all gucci my man. It was the pea to my pods, the fucking yin to meh yang, the apple to my eye,” he had no clue what the hell you were saying and was even more confused when you placed your hand on his shoulder. Your first was balled up into a ball and over dramatic tears spilled down your cheeks.  “I will forever miss you, home dawg. But on some real shit, this be an end to an era.”

“Y/n, you’re leaving, not dying,” he pouts, “speak English not shaker speaker.”

“Shakespeare,” you corrected. “Don’t forget about me you hoebag.” You ruffled his little tangled locks as Luffy nods and holds his two thumbs up in affirmation. You squeeze him in that annoying hug he hates so much. And it dawned upon you: you need a picture. This one is hitting the scrapbooks you’ve been making.

You shuffled around for your Sony camera and flipped it to take a selfie. Luffy hesitates for a moment. 

“Cmon man! Just one for my scrapbooks please.”

You pull him closer to your frame and smile the dorkiest smile you can muster, he does the same. This was for the scrapbooks you treasured after all. You reviewed it with him. It looked perfect, the red-lined braces being the most prominent thing in the photo along with your Nirvana tee and animal-shaped rubber bands. 

“You should smile more bro! You look so good here!”

And maybe for the first time, he does smile at the compliment, ignoring the string of metal wires along his teeth. He was gonna miss you.

Before you departed, he gave you one last fist bump. “See you around, Y/n!” was the last thing you heard before the taxi drove off.

And he doesn’t see you for a long time. And his braces get removed, making high school a bit easier than the years prior. And yes, maybe he doesn’t see you until college, but one thing is for sure, he never stopped smiling.

[passionesolja]

Why Dio Brando Would Beat Sidious’ Ass

It’s time to give a standing ovation to the baddest bitch I know. To the baddest bitch I’ve known since 2016. I got love for Sheev after getting back into Star Wars in 2020 again after years of growing out of it. But I literally think I only projected my liking of Dio Brando onto Sidious because Sidious is the closest villain we get to Dio in Star Wars. It’s time for me to give the blueprint his flowers

Swag

This ain’t a debate. I’m sorry Sheev but your swag trash as fuck and look like a damn goth potato sack. Dio out here in 1980s Egypt no fucks given he wearing a cape, heart accessories, and looking like a buff wasp. I gotta give this to the true king of swag.

Who Killed They Daddy With No Outside Influence

Dio had NO ONE in his ear when he poisoned Dario to death at 12 years old. Dio had no one in his ear when tried to poison George Joestar at 22 years old.

Now with Dario, it’s justified like sweetie I think you’re the worst immoralist bitch in jojo but you get a pass for Dario. Fuck Dario, I’ll gofundme you the poison for Dario’s terrible ass.

But with George? Cmon now, you really tryna get this inheritance so bad that you try to do sweet ole George Sr in? Dio, that just cold as a mf. Shame on you for that, bitch ass mf.

With Sidious, you gotta understand that he was kinda a lil bitch about it until Plaguies came along. Sidious was MISERABLE tryna not to get cut off from the family wealth even though he and his daddy despised each other.

Sidious WOULD NOT have murdered his whole family and father unless Plaguies had planted those seeds in his mind.

That’s why I gotta give it to Dio again because Dio is more naturally about intentional and planned out homicide than Sheev was (prior to Plaguies).

Who Would Bully Who As Kids

Dio Brando would have made Sheev Palpatine’s life an absolute living hell if Dio was born into Star Wars.

We don’t know what Sheev was doing in his youth but we know what the fuck Dio was doing.

Personally, with sheev I have a suspicion that he was a normal, but somewhat rebellious tween.

Meanwhile, Dio Brando is kicking Jonathan’s dog for no reason, throwing dogs in furnaces as revenge, stealing girl’s first kisses, tryna punch Jonathan Joestar’s eye out, nearly stabbing JoJo to death, turning JoJo’s own father against him (because Dio wanted that inheritance), poisoning his own father to death, etc.

This man isn’t even in high school yet and he’s acting like this.

You put Dio Brando as the kid that the Palpatine’s are taking in, and Sheev Palpatine is gon be Jonathan Joestar 2.0.

Who Was Actually Born Evil

This will be my most controversial take:

Sheev Palpatine was not born evil. He was born a dickhead but we never even get the impression that he meant to run over those two people. Only that he didn’t care.

Sidious was a child from a wealthy but somewhat troubled home who was manipulated by Plaguies and molded by him. Plaguies was in this poor teenager’s ear being like “ayo kill ya family slime 😈👹 I killed my siblings for self determination 😉 ahah no I didn’t I’m lying to you”

No one can deny that Dio Brando had a very tough life, but when you’re out here stealing a girls first kiss, getting your ass beat for it, then throwing the dog of the person who just rightfully beat your ass in the furnace to burn alive? Yeah dawg you just evil. This is just in the first few episodes we see him. I could write a whole book on everything hes done.

When Dio becomes a vampire, he killing all types of people, killing George Joestar to become a vampire, turning whole villages into vampiric experimentation abominations, taking the body of your surrogate brother then being a city boy of the century in the 1980s, attacking Holly Joestar, killing off half the stardust Crusaders, etc etc etc.

Keep in mind, he doing all this with no evil mf above him reaching him the evil ropes.

I can give Sheev Palpatine sympathy for his fuckshit because he didn’t understand what the fuck Plaguies was forcing him into. Yeah, Plaguies forced him because he knew Palpatine zipped everybody in his family.

Sidious was a victim of the Sith Order bullshit for decades before he became the boss bitch who victimized others.

Dio Brando is an victim for 12 years of his life then becomes the worst, most despicable bitch on the planet in the jojo verse. The ripple effect of Dio’s terrible actions that he chooses to do on his own are felt for years.

Dawg, Dio Brando is fucking up poor Okuyasu Nijimura’s whole life in Japan in the 1990s when dude never even met Dio. And also, Dio been long dead

This man is literally fucking up Jotaro Kujo’s daughters whole life via proxy too and they never even met.

Conclusion

So yeah this why I gotta take the bad bitch crown from Palpatine. I’m sorry dawg but the evil British vampire king is back