#clusterfucks are the best

[dicktat]

what’s your most cursed dl/dl2 ship and whats your favorite dl/dl2 crack ship?

*unrolls a comically large scroll that hits your feet*

Well since you asked…y’all can’t blame me if my answer is bonkers.

I feel like most ships have been explored quite a bit since the game…doesn’t have many characters? However, the weirdest ship me and my friend came up with would probably be Bozak/Crane (lmao this is my chaotic clown duo). Bozak Horde was just the saw series with a touch of homoeroticism. Also someone got me interested in Rais/Crane fr and I don’t think it’s necessarily “cursed” but like,, not my proudest moment.

Okay let’s talk the second game. My opinion on ships is just a huge clusterfuck (I wouldn’t even call it a polycule anymore lol). I had a whole headcanon of Aiden going around Villedor making everyone his b helltaker style (look at him, he’s a dom okay he’s just inexperienced). But something that I haven’t seen quite often would be Waltz/Hakon or Waltz/Aitor. Shitty crackships! Being me I’m a huge sucker for hatefucks, more chaos=better. Juan and Aitor is nice too and I genuinely ship it but it’s not cursed enough so sorry boys ;(

And now the crossovers. Just as you think this post couldn’t get worse. I’ve seen people ship Rais/Waltz sign me up what’s better than one mentally ill antagonist how about two. I don’t care their relationship might cause countless casualties let’s see those fuckers gooo. Speaking of which since we’ve already established the epitome of cursed ships let’s end with something wholesome. How about Crane/Hakon? I mean two dilf babygirl manwhores (okay maybe not Crane) what’s better. The babygirl power between these two are so raw it cancels the previous bastards’ energy out.

Anyways thank you for coming to my tedtalk I hope this post is cursed enough to make ppl uncomfy <3. Have fun reading and suffering!

[ofswordsandpens]

Am I the only one who thinks about how The Lightning Thief would have gone if instead of Grover, Percy picked Luke to go with him and Annabeth on the quest? Luke, who was sick of the idea of doing quests that had already been done was just picked to go on a unique quest by this demigod who he was planning to manipulate, and the quest was unique because he helped to make it so. And while he'll likely be plotting to hide the fact that he's a lightning thief, reworking things to take heat off himself, one of his quest mates would be Annabeth, the half blood he personally saved and brought to camp, whom he would have to work like hell to hide his deeds from.

listen I'm loving the comedic potential of this because in my heart of hearts, I feel like Luke's too enamored with the idea of razing Olympus for him to doubt what he's doing, but balancing that razors edge where he's actively trying to sabotage the quest and kill Percy while not tipping off Annabeth, and also trying to plant seeds of doubt and discord both between Percy and Annabeth and also about the gods while trying not to be too obvious about it because maybe, just maybe he can convince Annabeth to side with him.

except as usual Luke's nefarious plans are constantly being foiled by 2 tweens and its embarrassing cause they're not even trying. Percy's not wearing the shoes and keeps making up polite reasons on why he can't without seeming like he's rejecting Luke's gift (cause that would be rude) and Annabeth's like "well I'm gonna wear them then" and Luke's panics like "NO" but he also can't wear them so then they just stay in the bag untouched. then Luke keeps directing them into the paths of monsters in the hopes Percy's gonna get taken out but holy hell this kid just won't die. Like literally just escapes mortal peril by the skin of his teeth and doesn't even realize it. It's like an old silent film where the entire front of the house falls off and the guy survives because he just happened to be standing right where the open window is.

Then Luke's also trying to stir up some anger at the gods, testing the waters with Annabeth, but she's so in the height in the idealization of her mom it's getting no where. Luke's trying to be subtle like "hey... don't you think it's kinda of fucked up that the gods are..... uh... blaming? percy for this? and that he has to do this quest to set things right" but annabeth's like "what do you mean by that? 🤨 this is what heroes do this is how we prove ourselves" and unfortunately Percy is the only one vibing with the "hey don't you hate your dad" comments that's Luke's throwing down and that makes him fond of Percy against his better judgement but he's still gotta kill him so you know, bummer

anyway, in this quest AU Percy perceives Luke as the Responsible Adult cause he's 19 (lmao) and thus feels a little less pressure to be responsible for things himself and so when they get to the Underworld, Luke's like smirking, grinning, cause a. he's in in the Underworld and how many heroes have achieved that? b. the shoes in Percy's bag are about to drag that kid to the depths of hell or c. the lightning bolts about to appear in the bag and Luke will throw Percy under the bus to Hades (he's been practicing his betrayal speech) except wait "Percy... where's your backpack??" and Percy's like "oh I forgot it at the hotel 👉👈" and Luke loses it and picks him up to throw him into tartarus himself (he is unsuccessful)

[canisalbus]

what part of italy are machete and vasco from? not their birthplace since from what i've seen you're still workshopping that. where do they live? i assume rome?

In the 1500's setting Vasco lives and was born in Florence, his family has lived there for centuries. Machete was born in Sicily, was taken to Naples to serve as an apprentice and ended up living and working in Rome (and more specifically today's Vatican city, which as you may know has been an independent country since 1929 but wasn't back then). They first met when they were both studying in Venice in their late teens/early twenties.

I think in the modern au they live together somewhere in Florence.

[ace-and-ranty]

...Lord Jesus, I just realized.

In Book 1, when El says "I should have blown the bloody doors off in my freshman year, and shown everyone back then"... if she'd done that, she would be flat out dead.

If El had earnestly wanted to be in an Enclave, if she'd shown off her powers her first year at school, Ophelia would have found her. She'd have found out about El several years younger, less powerful, locked up in the school. Before the big Enclave war started kicking off in the outside world to distract everyone. And Gwen would have been alone at the commune with no idea they were in danger.

Can you imagine what that woman would have done?

El would have been toast. She'd have been a sitting duck. If she had ever tried to pursue power and fame, it would have killed her.

[fandomaddict505]

STOP IM GONNA CRY! WHAT DO YOU MEAN I GET TO DO ANOTHER TRIAL WITH HIM??????

[arospecsyourblockdudes]

I’d like to throw my two cents in on the “Tango dies needlessly curse” subject, and say I disagree. I don’t think it was pointless this time

Is it a trend that he dies in a silly and stupid manner? Yes. Is that the case this time? In a way. Scar just broke the floor from under him and let him drop.

But it was a death borne of revenge for an act of revenge for a violent task. Scar wanted the Heart Foundation dead, and he dedicated himself to making that happen. Are the consequences of the tasks pointless? Especially for Scar, where the tasks he was given left him alone and hated?

Tango also just…knew it was coming. He was a dead man walking, no matter the amount of gifted hearts. He could’ve gone on a rampage, frantically setting traps, rushing in to score kills, never being able to let down his guard because anything could kill him. Or he could do what he did, which was spend time with his allies, goof off with them, and follow the man he knew would kill him. I think he was at peace with it, because any other action would be to live paranoid and violent and reckless, and who wants to go out like that? Best to go out laughing and setting something on fire for the hell of it. Is that choice pointless?

[ritavonbees]

the entire modern history of Israel is like, hey, remember what happened last time the British made us do their dirty work for them? Anyone? Anyone? No? well fuck

[artcinemas]

i hate those couple reels weird stuff people do but then i realise i am also partaking in many things that people call cringe so what is really the point of the hate? why hate when you can literally have rose sharbath?

[graveyardmouth]

boys when the childhood trauma affects them as people

[socialistexan]

While it's nice to live in an area where you aren't expected to go out when there's even small amounts of ice/snow, it's not so nice living an area where our power grid and infrastructure are so fragile that it can't handle small amounts of ice/snow.

Up until about 20 minutes ago, I had power for all of an hour today in freezing cold temperatures. And most of that hour was spent on a work meeting/call. Hellscape.

[tacagen]

we are NOT!! TALKING ENOUGH ABOUT THIS PAGE. LIKE THIS IS ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL DEPICTIONS OF THAWNE TO EVER EXIST IN COMICS!! THE BLOOD!! THE BRUISES UNDER HIS EYES!! THE LIFELESS EXPRESSION!! THE HAIR!! THE BUILD!! THE EVERYTHING!! AND ITS A FUCKING CORPSE!!! HIS RENAISSANCE PAINTING ASS IS JUST LYING AROUND IN THE MORGUE WAITING FOR THE AUTOPSY!!!!

[bougiebutchbitch]

i've always appreciated omegaverse but fan-culturally i'd never understood what beta is for. is this izzy???

dfgkjhdslgkjdsgf nooooo my man is as Omega-coded as they come

he is wet and dripping for dommy Alpha Captain Blackbeard 24/7

only problem is? Ed is actually an Omega, too

[elytrafemme]

feel like a dick for not wanting to talk to my ex because we did agree to end our relationship as friends and we've been like cordially whenever we do talk but also like... i don't. like. like i know communication is the answer to everything etc etc but i feel like given the fucking everything going on during our relationship if she even noticed the half of it she should kind of intuit that i don't really want to talk about my feelings with her right now.

[hella1975]

are the planets in retrograde or whatever bc what is going on. aftg resurgence. i willingly watched all of mha and was weird about it. i went back to work. soukokover. i cant keep doing this

[scriptmyworld]

this guy is a total newbie oh god what a game to start off with DKDHSJDJD

[emmodii-mode]

It's always fun to try an asshole route in games where you can pick your own choices---

Except Disco Elysium.

I can't bring myself to disappoint Kim Kitsuragi... 😔