#tozby plays bg3

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I have neither talent nor the patience to get my tablet out but here is an artistic interpretation of how I imagine this looked.

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Enough about who cooks in camp.

Who washes clothes? Who spends hours trying to get the bloodstains out? Who soaks Gale's purple robes alongside everything else and dyes Astarion's shirt pale lilac?

The world needs to know.

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BG3 first playthrough, a retrospective (vague to minimise spoilers):

-The way Withers joined my camp (I found him in the temple, he said "We will meet again, when the time is right", hid behind a bookcase, then popped out again immediately saying "It is I, Withers!" when I made camp in the temple to long rest)

-"Turns out there's an entire western half of the map. Who knew." (x3)

-Buying expensive gear and then looting everything in a five mile radius to refill the coinpurse ("I only need 2,957 more rotten carrots before I'm back to where I was.")

-Companions roasting marshmallows over the campfire (or Karlach just... holding the marshmallow)

-who's Gale

-"So the way we're going to defeat these bosses is all of us wait round this corner while Astarion, you sneaky crit them from that ledge up there, hide invisibly behind a rock so they can't see you, then rinse and repeat until they're dead. It'll be epic, trust me."

-A particular necromancer coming back to life and being difficult to kill not because of the necromancy, but because I kept having to reload to before their boss fight to finish quests I missed (and I still failed to find all of them)

-Poorly-treated refugees: not Morris's problem. Abused dog: fireball owner first, ask questions later.

-Why Not To Bring A Full Druid Party Anywhere Animals Are Mistreated

-"I will not trust anybody I speak to ever again. Except for this pigeon."

-"Okay, that's everyone rescued, time to go, click to exit, quick headcount before I confirm leaving, 1, 2, 3, oh fuck I forgot Astarion RUN BUDDY RUN"

-Morris hates druids. Morris hates druids. Morris hates druids. Morris might begrudgingly tolerate this druiMorris is in love with this druid.

And in the ongoing multiplayer campaign with Unnamed Barbarian:

-"Where did you get this tadpole?" "I... found him." "You mean you stole him." "No! He's my pet! He's called Squiggles." [Mor has pickpocketed Mind Flayer Parasite Specimen from Toz.] "You ate Squiggles!" "No I didn't." "I WATCHED YOU DO IT RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME"

-"We just killed a hag with ease and now we are being slaughtered... by a frog."

-[After a multiplayer buddy accidentally turned Lae'zel hostile, forcing us to kill her.] "I'm playing a solo game now and there is so much I missed." "You mean like most of Lae'zel's voicelines?"

-"You are not allowed near Scratch. You are not allowed to pet him, talk to him, or interact with him in any way. The only pet you are allowed is Gale. He requires regular feeding. Look after him properly and maybe you can throw a ball for Scratch."

-Find Hastings ("He's called Hal-" "HE'S CALLED HASTINGS.")

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Finished! A few non-spoilery thoughts:

The sound of unexpected initiative rolls will haunt my nightmares and I might set it to be my work WhatsApp message alert

The dev who works to support their cat's tuna dreams (source: thank you messages in the credits) is a hero

I can't wait to play the 65% of the game I totally missed because I'm an idiot

There are a lot of alternate choices I want to google but can't, because the previous bullet point means I'm still avoiding egregious spoilers

I will miss Morris so much

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Tav Skullduggan's Tadpole Adventures

Contrary to popular opinion, Skullduggans are not murder-hobos, and distant Faerûn cousin Tav Skullduggan is no different. It's not their fault that some druids can't take a joke.

Or that Karlach blamed them for what happened in the Grove.

Or that Gith créches are full of Gith.

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Following a conversation with @esraeh: TES OCs meet BG3.

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Hjolrin is a ranger. Trond is a fighter. Haaki might start off as a vengeance paladin... but probably changes class multiple times.

Out of the three of them, it would be Haaki who ends up with a tadpole - because of course it would - but I am toying with the idea of it being Amelie, who is largely unconcerned by this development and enjoys the chance for a big adventure with her family, even if she thinks their panic and insistence on guarding her is an overreaction at first. She could definitely explore on her own. She's ten years old! That's two whole numbers!

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Fria is a bard. Isn't she? Bards have eldritch blast, right? Yeah, that's normal.

She comes from a family of wizards, but was much less interested in her studies than she was goofing off to learn about puppetry and performance. Her parents gave up on trying to force her, or on paying her much attention at all, after her younger sister turned out to be a sorcerer.

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Frithjofr is a rogue who doesn't understand his class at all and usually rolls awfully... yet has an uncanny ability to roll nat20s when it really, really matters. He's convinced his pet chicken is a polymorphed dragon.

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Morinah is a wizard specialising in magical artefacts, which she collects and preserves. She and Gale DO NOT GET ALONG.

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The pirates are mostly rogues, of course, with a few wizards, fighters, and barbarians mixed in, plus Ethysil the cleric. Rumour has it there's also a bard among them. Anyone who accuses Vilayn of being this bard ends up mysteriously strangled to death by a spare violin string.

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The graphics of BG3 are so good that they make me desperately want to rinse off the leather armor whenever my character is bloodied.

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BG3 Patch 5 epilogue spoilers.

Second favourite thing about the epilogue: it fits perfectly with my postgame headcanon for Morris and Halsin. I'm so used to DA, where your options are "live happily ever after with your LI" or "break up with your LI forever", that I didn't expect the game to acknowledge the "part from your LI while remaining in a romance" option, so that was delightful.

Favourite thing:

He gives you a wooden duck I can't

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After I completely messed up acquiring one pet and nearly ruined the other, my multiplayer group has banned me from interacting with them. They have decided that the only pet I am allowed is Gale.

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I miss the days when all games let you name your save slots.

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Don't mind me, just having a moment under the cut. No spoilers.

I'd still rather be playing it than at work, but as I'm reaching the end of BG3 I'm dragging my heels, playing more and more slowly, making my sessions shorter, all because I'm getting that feeling of low-key yet persistent sadness, the same one you get when you finish a really engrossing book.

I don't want it to end! I've loved spending more time with my horrible broken rat man, I've loved meeting the companions (those whom I actually did, you know, meet Gale I'm so sorry next time buddy), I've loved not knowing what's going to happen next or who I can trust. You only get to experience something like this for the first time once.

Mistakes were made, critical rolls were failed, entire areas of the map were missed, and I wouldn't have it any other way. No doubt I will return eventually to do things properly and see the content I missed, but for now, gentlemen, it's been a pleasure.

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No major spoilers, just sleepy ramblings about my BG3 characters which touch on one of the game's broad themes and mention some details about companions.

Without straying into spoiler territory, I love that trust is such a prominent theme in BG3, because boy howdy does Morris have trust issues. This means the game is turning into an arc of him being forced to learn, in the worst possible circumstances, how to trust people again and then immediately having that trust tested to its limit and shaken to its core.

Meanwhile, Barbarian is just "I trust you implicitly :)" to everyone she meets.

I also love that without my trying, and with Morris being greysexual and having a deeply-rooted antipathy towards other druids (/humanoids in general), Halsin is super into him. Like, super into him. Like ''every conversation we have ends with me dropping a massively unsubtle hint, why (and how) are you not picking up what I'm laying down'' super into him. C'mon, Morris, loosen up. I know you particularly dislike druids who turn into bears all the time, but what's the worst that could happen? :D

The rather elaborate spoiler warning up top is because a) I somehow managed to totally miss Gale (he's on the cover art) and had stuff about him spoiled, and b) I accidentally spoiled Astarion for my brother, resulting in this exchange:

''I love that the companions reveal their obvious secrets to you like it's a big thing you hadn't already noticed. I know, Shadowheart, your name kind of gave something away there."

"Yeah, and when Astarion tells you he's a vampire. Buddy, I can see the fang holes in your neck."

"...Astarion is a vampire?"

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Okay, I promise no more screenshots after this, bear with me, I just wanted to share a small story which makes me happy.

When we were kids, my brothers and I played Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles together. I played the Selkie up top specifically. We weren't particularly good at it, but we had a lot of fun exploring the world, and as we did so, we each took on a different role. I tended to be the one who charged in recklessly and whittled the bosses down by hitting them repeatedly over the head with a stick, buying one brother time to work out the proper strategy and relying on the other for healing.

Cut to 2023. My brothers and I decided to play BG3 together. Little Tozby's proto-barbarian rides again.

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Just one (maybe two) little screenshot posts, I promise.

Exhibit A: Pol Morris.

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Multiplayer BG3 stuff still goes on this blog, though.

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[After the Githyanki crèche turned on our multiplayer group, our monk catches up with us after doing some looting.]

"What are you doing?"

"We're going sneaky-beaky."

[The monk looks at Tozbarb, Karlach, and the other player's dragonborn bard all crouched en masse in an open doorway, in full view of the Githyanki in the next room.]

"...okay."

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"So we'll long rest and then-- never mind, we've rolled initiative. Whose fault was that, Toz?"

"I'm sorry, I saw some soup and I wanted it so badly I forgot about the Githyanki."

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[Blinded by soup cravings, Tozbarb gets disarmed and killed. While the dragonborn resurrects her with Withers, the monk sneaks back in to collect her items.]

"Where's my cool sword?"

"I'm back. Here's your stuff."

[A bowl of soup appears in front of Tozbarb.]

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Under the cut: BG3!Morris v Tav Skullduggan.

BG3!Morris: Gradually learns to trust and ultimately befriend companions, overcomes his personal problems to make the world a better place.

BG3!Skullduggan: maybe I will take control of the BBEG and enslave the Sword Coast. as a treat.