#cluster b mention

[confessions-official]

my past abuser who gave me PTSD had BPD. my past situationship treated me like shit, and then became besties with my past abuser (knowing what they did), had BPD. my most recent ex girlfriend who cheated on me throughout the relationship and also abused me had BPD. all of them have used their BPD as justification for their actions and refused to take accountability for what they did to me. it makes me feel like fucking screaming jesus christ.

i hate to say it but my experiences are tainting my view of ALL people who have BPD. im starting to view it as an abusive disorder that weak people use as an excuse so they dont have to face the reality of their actions and behaviors. so they dont have to face the reality that theyre actually bad people incapable of holding relationships or treating someone with half a shred of decency.

i really would not like to get flamed in the notes for this. im confessing this here because A) i know im wrong, and B) if i told this to anyone IRL they would just think im ignorant and a bad person.

i have done countless hours of research on BPD for these two people. just to understand, both retrospectively and in the moment. and i sort of understood. i understand the trauma aspect, all of the mental pain and whatnot they go through, the massive mood shifts, the mania and depressive states, etc. i have researched every aspect of the mental illness that is available on the internet.

but still, i perceive people with BPD to be selfish and uncaring. inherently abusive. i dont know if there is anything i can do to dispel this incorrect belief without just meeting and forming a healthy relationship with someone who has BPD. but that seems like an impossible challenge.

some background on myself: teenager with OCD, PTSD, and Anxiety (some others, but im just stating the three that effect me the most because i think that listing off a bunch of mental health issues in quick succession sounds tacky and is giving "your honor im neurodivergent and a minor". idk. dont cancel for me that as well. i am probably very unlikeable in this confession)

i would love to not feel this way. if anyone has any advice for me, or would like to challenge this, please dont hesitate to. i want to make it clear that i would never EVER express this to anyone with BPD. i would treat them exactly how i treat everyone else, which is what i have been doing. but i may be more wary of them or hesitant to form a close connection because i just dont want to get hurt again.

 

[ladygrey111]

The whole, "K*lling urself is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" bullshit is spouted by the ignorant lucky ones who have only had temporary problems. Some people's problems are permanent so maybe try offering actual help and support to them rather than regurgitating an overused phrase that means nothing to people with real struggles.

[npdemu]

reblog to blow up an ableist

[sin-esthezia]

the thing that gets me the most about ableism against pd’s is that ppl will be like “these disorders make you an ASSHOLE!!!!” and then turn around and pretend that other disorders can’t and don’t make you act shitty.

depression and anxiety can make you irritable and snappy. they can cause you to refuse to listen to people and to be distant and withdrawn. they can cause you to seem angry, bitchy, rude, uncaring, etc.

ptsd causes an array of difficulties in forming meaningful relationships. it pretty much shakes up your entire worldview and sense of self a lot of the time. ptsd can cause you to get angry often. it can cause you to yell and scream. it can cause you to withdraw from others, run away, or cut them out. it can cause general changes in demeanor and more cynical worldviews. it can make you seem grouchy, negative, explosive, impolite, difficult, needy, controlling, etc.

and yet when people with personality disorders have symptoms of that nature, suddenly we are irredeemable monsters. when it’s npd, bpd, hpd, or aspd instead of ptsd or depression and anxiety, people suddenly and magically lose the ability to be understanding.

mental illness is an explanation, not an excuse. i firmly believe that. hurting others is never justified simply because you have any disorder.

but if you can be patient with people who have depression, anxiety, ptsd, ocd, or any other LESS stigmatized mental illness, you can be patient with us.

[literallyagod]

Btw it's not cool to hate on people without empathy..

I don't care what your reasons are,, just cause I don't feel sad when you're sad doesn't mean in suddenly gonna murder your whole family or something

[a-sip-of-milo]

Interesting that it’s not even the abuse that supposedly makes him worthy of the same treatment… it’s that he has npd.

These are the same people that insist that they’re empaths.

[imnotherelmao]

Happy pride month, but also “happy” narcissistic abuse awareness day! Reblog to give imo a new crown and hurl a narcissistic abuse believer into the void <3

[star--stricken]

*clicks on an interesting drama video* ”this person is a psychopath/sociopath/psychotic/narcissist/delusional!”

*sighs*

*clicks off the video*

[scrimbly-mc-scrombly-iii]

Since it’s disability pride month, let’s all remember that people with NPD, BPD, ASPD, and any other cluster B disorders are NOT inherently bad people, are NOT destined to be abusers or serial killers, and should NOT be stigmatized for their disorders. Also, the term “Narcissistic abuse” is ableist and also complete bullshit. Yes you can be abused by a narcissist, you can be abused by any type of person. But your abuser having NPD doesn’t make what you experienced a whole different type of abuse. I was emotionally abused by someone with brown hair, but that doesn’t make me a victim of “brunette abuse”. So stop fucking using that term. There is nothing you can go through that makes it ok to further stigmatize a disorder.

If you have ASPD, NPD, BPD, HPD, you are not destined to be a bad person. Having a personality disorder is not your fault in any way. You deserve love and acceptance.

Happy July.

[cluster-b-culture-is]

cluster b culture is going from 'no, don't leave! I can twist my own boundaries for your comfort, see?' to 'you leaving isn't enough, I need you dead' within seconds.

.

[confessions-official]

honestly, the only reason I'm alive for it's my dog. My dad is an abusive narcissist, my mom treats me like shit and openly has favoritism for my older sister even tho she's the most problematic daughter, my sister... well, I should say something bad about her but honestly her presence is so Indifferent in my life that I don't even remember any flaw of her. I'm so tired of having to ask myself everyday why does other people in the world have stable family and financial stability when I don't have any of that + I'm blamed for the lack of both. I really wanted to know what did I do to deserve all of it: a horrible dad, a mother that doesn't care, a sister that I can't even call a friend... wish I could kill myself in a way that it would be impossible to survive to it. Like a gun in the head. Maybe then they would care? Maybe they woul cry, hugging my open coffin and regret for never caring?

 

[carnage-cathedral]

in my humble opinion as someone with multiple cluster b disorders including bpd, the aim shouldn't be to "cure" it at all, because trauma cannot be cured and this is not an attainable goal, which sets an unfair precedent for us ourselves as victims of the disorder. the aim should instead be to heal and rehabilitate to a point where you can cope with the behaviors you've developed that are connected to the trauma. healing will happen, but the desire to "cure" all "sick" people is not a helpful stance to have and is way more damaging than it is helpful. hurt people don't need to be "cured" so much as just understood and helped. "curing" us is very much a medicalized idea that bases a person's worth on their ability to function. you and your struggles will always be valid, whether you heal or not, whether you're "cured" or not <3

[npd-hottakes]

Consider intent before calling someone manipulative.

Instead of accusing someone with npd (or anyone for that matter) of trying to manipulate you, you should instead tell them why what they said might come across as manipulative without being accusatory or condescending. Most people don't realize something they said might be manipulative.

When you just say "this was manipulative and you're a bad person for saying it" they won't know what to change and they'll just pretend to be sorry so you'll leave them alone. It helps no one.

But when you instead say "that unintentionally came across as manipulative because X, I know you didn't mean it and you're not a bad person, but you should say Y instead in the future so people won't misinterpret you" will save both parties from future trouble and is far less likely to offend anyone.

Advice that could've saved so many of my past relationships. A lot of the time all you need is clear communication and boundaries.

[npdmonoma]

Maybe it's just me, but I don't think the number of boxes someone ticks in a diagnostic manual should determine whether or not you treat them like a person

[antisocial-hatred]

when someone treats me slightly wrong so now i have to make them feel bad by literally committing suicide, but also why would i kill myself for them when they're obviously worth much less than me? but still they need to regret what they did? guilt-tripping isn't enough i want them to spend their whole life eaten up by intrusive thoughts wondering if they deserve anything after depriving the world of its most interesting creature

[a-sip-of-milo]

Most common responses I get when I post any sort of cluster B positivity:

An extensive trauma dump in an attempt to validate their hatred towards us.

"You sound like a narcissist"

"You're just trying to manipulate us but we won't fall for it"

"This is really invalidating to actual trauma survivors"

"This is why people don't like cluster B's"

"Part of supporting someone with a cluster B disorder is by not enabling their abusive behaviour"

"I'll only support cluster B's if they get help"

Assuming that my opinions are based on a lack of research.

A looooong response about how trauma survivors need to stick together that promptly gets deleted when they realise I myself have a cluster B disorder.

*Posts to r/fakedisordercringe*

Tries to justify the exclusion of an entire group of trauma survivors because "we need to keep ourselves safe from people like you"