#clown ass organisation

[puddle-of-awesomeness]

FIA really said if the heat can't make the race dangerous this year, then i guess we will

[princessbrunette]

can’t get the slasher au in the campcounselor!jj universe out of my mind, so have this.

the two of you being held up in your cabin together with the door bolted and jj is hammering nails needles and screws into a baseball bat. anything he can find really. he came barging through your door so fast that you thought you were next the second he stumbled on a body. his first thought was you, and how he needed to protect you because he didn’t think he’d be able to handle seeing the girl he was pretty sure he was in love with in a pool of blood.

“so why don’t they just call the police? instead of telling us to just stay in our cabins and lock the doors?” you rant, panicked and unable to be still for even a moment as you pace up and down the room.

“so uh, apparently this killer is like a genius of sorts n’cut the connection. s’why the wifi ain’t workin’ and no calls are goin’ through.” he glances up at you as he gives his hammer a few final taps against the nail in his bat. he waves a finger around in a circle in gesture to the lamps dotted around, still working. “these bad boys are solar powered though, thank god.”

“cant they send someone to go and get help? i know we’re in the middle of nowhere but there’s gotta be someone out there.” you shake your head, mostly at the poor organisational skills behind the camp owners and their lack of emergency plans.

“sent our one security dude to go n’drive ’til he finds someone. that was three hours ago so uh… safe to say it’s not lookin’ good.” jj grimaces and your face falls, hopeless as you flop into the seat.

“we are so screwed, jj.” you mewl, which forces him to tear his attention away from his makeshift weapon.

“hey, don’t talk like that okay you got me n’ this badass weapon n’i’m not gonna let anything happen to you okay so… positive thoughts. please.”

a minute of silence passes, before the quiet is filled by the sound of heavy rain coming down on the window. “hm. pathetic fallacy.” you hum and jj’s brow shoots up, glancing over to you once more.

“uh, what’d you call me?”

“wh— no. its a literary device. it means when the weather in a story reflects the overall mood of the events unfolding.” you explain with a sigh, drawing patterns on the table infront of you with your finger nail. jj ticks his head, continuing on with his project.

“smart and pretty.” he comments casually yet quietly, not bothering to look up now. despite everything, you let a little smile bite the corners of your lips.

“you think i’m pretty?”

“i said smart too. damn, talk about conceited.” he jests, glancing up at you with a smirk to ensure you knew he was teasing you. you can’t help but giggle, staring at him for a moment as you lock eyes.

“jj?”

he blinks, almost like he’s surprised to hear his own name being said.

“wh— yeah?”

“thanks for comin’ here to protect me. i was really scared without you.”

the blonde clears his throat, trying to get used to the whole being sincere thing. “oh, uh. yeah. no shweat.” he responds in his usual silly jj way, telling you he doesn’t know how to respond to people genuinely complimenting him. it’s kind of cute, behind the whole confident class-clown bravado.

“you promise if i die tonight you’ll reapply my lip gloss for me? i can’t have the forensic people finding me lookin’ all busted. that would be embarrassing.” you try to lighten the moment but he senses the worry in your tone. jj presses his lips together, suddenly standing out of his chair.

“look, come here.” he demands, and your brows raise. “yes. come here.” he beckons and you do so, dragging your feet to stand infront of him. his hands seem to hesitate for a moment before they grasp your shoulders, raising his eyebrows at you.

“you— ms perfect, are not gonna die tonight. y’hear me? this is jus’ gonna be one of your many cool ass stories that you get to tell in the future when we get the hell outta here. just like — as long as you promise to mention the sexy strong blonde dude that protected you with his life when you’re… y’know, recountin’ those tales…n’shit.” despite delivering the lighthearted punchline, jj’s voice softens towards the end of its delivery, staring down and getting lost in your wide worried eyes.

you smile, a hand coming up to rest on his chest. you don’t comment on the way his heart pounds against your palm. “how could i forget that detail?” you stare again at eachother for a moment, and you swear he’s about to kiss you — when thunder crashes loudly outside, startling the two of you as jj spins around, grabbing the bat and swinging it into a protective stance, guarding you. the moment settles over the two of you and you giggle, covering your mouth.

“you gonna fight the thunder, jj?”

“i was just practicin’ alright be grateful my reflexes are so damn fast. m’like a ninja.” he scoffs out a little laugh, turning back towards you.

“sheesh, i wouldn’t mess with you.” you grin and he tosses the bat aside, deciding enough was enough.

“yeah wouldn’t dream of it.” he mutters distractedly, the two of you pumped with adrenaline as he leans in, eyes on your mouth before your lips connect, the blonde pulling your body to his.

maybe you would be okay.

[soadawritesstuff]

Video games

Pairing: best friend!touya todoroki x fem!reader

Warnings: Smut with too much plot, fluff (?), Minors DNI, quirkless au, friends-to-lovers, unprotected sex, penetration, oral sex (fem. receiving), mild swearing, pet-names (doll, princess etc.), intoxication, alcohol consumption, reader isn't referred to by name, reader has female genetalia, probably some grammar mistakes

Synopsis: What was supposed to be a comfortable game-night with your best friend quickly took a drift as the drinking game Touya suggested leads to something way steamier

A/N: I don't know why and how this ended up this long but I had a bunch of fun with it. Also this turned out fluffier than intended, you're welcome lol. Of course all characters belong to Kohei Horikoshi. The banner is from the Manga Dengeki Daisy.

You were excited for this weekend. Not that you weren't excited for every other weekend as well, but you have been looking forward to seeing your best friend since he texted you a long awaited: "Hey, I finally got this weekend off, wanna hang?"

You haven't seen Touya in MONTHS, both his job and your schedule occupied too much time for a proper meet-up. Every time you planned something, a random emergency prevented it from happening: a curse that seemed to haunt the both of you.

So Touya and you agreed to just have a slow day, veg on his couch and play video games. Maybe watch a Ghibli movie as well. Anything else was too stressfull and neither of you had the energy to do something more elaborate. Both of you organised snacks (which were, of course ,already carefully chosen over text) and you brought games from home in case Touya didn't already have them.

At exactly 7pm you stood in front of your best friend's apartment door, knocking your usual knock-pattern the two of you created when you were kids. His doorbell didn't work and he was too busy but also too lazy to fix it, he wouldn't even contact his landlord about it.

You heard mufffled curses shortly after you knocked followed by rushed shuffeling which you presumed was Touya's attempt of quickly cleaning up. A notorious procrastinator as usual. The door openes and in front of you appears a slightly messy looking Touya in black sweats and a white shirt. A wide grin spreads on both of your faces as he steps forward to hug you.

His hugs were the bomb, you always felt so safe and warm whenever you hugged him. His cologne sneaks it's way up your nose as your face is comfortably smooshed against Touya's chest, a boyish chuckle escaping from the man that you call your best friend.

"I missed ya, you clown", his big hands ruffle your hair making you squeal as you shimmey out of his hug, your hands trying to fix what he so shamelessly destroyed.

"My haiiir, Touya you ASS"

"What, doesn't matter anyways, it's just me", a mischievous glint flickers in his eyes, "Or did you pretty yorself up just for me?". Not even 5 minutes in and he already got an eyeroll out of you.

"In your dreams, dirtface"

And with that you waste no time and march right into is apartment. You just hear a "yeah yeah" behind you but you will not give into his bs just yet.

You toss your sneakers next to the entrance and flop down on his comfy couch. So many mario kart sessions were held on that couch. Glorious victories and devastating losses.

"So, what are we playin'?", you hear Touya shifting around in the kitchen that is connected to the living-space.

"Mario Kart and whatever I have laying around", he carries the chips bag he just got over to the couch, already snatching one from the bag before you even got the chance to grab some.

A grin spreads on your face.

"Oh I will so kick your ass"

"big words for a loser"

"You are dead meat Tou"

And with that the two of you busy yourselves with cussing each other out and laughing, both of you blue-shelling the other countless times. Touya's winning tactic consits of trying to block your range of motion so dealing with him taking over all your couch-space made it hard for you to get a win.

After two hours both of you got bored, you played every track a billion times.

"I wish there was a new game-mode or something" you sat criss-cross on Touya's couch, head resting on his shoulder as he puts his controller to the side.

"How about we turn this into a drinking game?", you turn your head too look at him. He just smirks. The suggestion lingers in your mind for a few seconds.

"And how exactly would that work?"

"Hold on"

Touya swiftly makes his way to the kitchen. You hear glasses clinking and the fridge being opened. Shortly after your best friend returns with two shot glasses and a bottle of Vodka.

"Woahh, I haven't had a sip of alcohol in a year, ain't that a bit much?"

"Oh relax, you're gonna be fiiine", Touya puts the two shot glasses down in front of you on the couch-table.

"It's simple. We play rainbow road. Whenever someone falls down the track, they take a shot. First one to finish the race wins. Easy enough, right?"

"..I don't know Touya"

"You're just scared you're gonna lose", that mischievous look returns on his face.

"Am not!"

"Oh? What was that?", Touya begins to make chicken noises "I think I just heard a chicken"

"Stop it Touya!"

"There it was again, chicken." You try to swat him, unsuccessfully. "What's wrong chicken? You scared that you're gonna lose?Hm? HM?!"

"FINE", there was no way getting out of this one. Once Touya has an idea you basically already lost. It's not like you want to be a killjoy or boring, you just weren't sure what would happen if both of you were highly drunk. You weren't sure nothing would happen. And you didn't know what would happen to your friendship. Touya and you were always playfully flirty around each other and you would be lying if you said you didn't wish you were more than best friends sometimes.

But you couldn't lose your oldest and strongest friendship in your life. Everything was way too risky for your liking. But Touya's pain-in-the-assery left you no other choice.

You forgot all about your previous worries as soon as you started playing.

The first few rounds weren't too bad, you only fell off the evil rainbow-track a couple of times and even won one race. But with every round it got significantly harder, with every shot the track got even more evil. Touya fell off a good amount of times as well, but he seemed to be holding up much better than you.

.

You were laughing histerically as Touya fell off the track shortly before the finish line, allowing the Luigi NPC to win instead of him. Both of you lost count of how many shots you drank and how many rounds you actually played.

"Tou I am exhaustedddd"

"Jus' one more doll", Touya had swung his arm around you some time before this round but you honestly didn't remember when.

"Nah Tou, I can't anymoreee", Touya leans close tou your ear, squeezing you closer to him.

"Please doll, I promise 's the last one" his tired and gravelly voice slurred against the shell of your ear.

"I can't hold my 'ontroller right, I'll die if I fall off one more time"

"Y'don't have to play alone, w'can play together, see", he grabs your waist and shifts you between his criss-crossed legs, your back hitting his torso.

"Ya don't need to drink, I jus wanna play one last round", He loops his arms around your waist, putting his chin on top of your head and pulling you closer.

"Here, we'll play with my controller"

Touya pushes his controller into your hands, placing his on top of yours while his head still sat on top of yours.

He was so painfully close, your face turning hotter and hotter the longer you played. Him guiding your hands lazily while watching the track had something oddly comforting as well as feeling his heartbeat pressed against your back. Everything was just so warm and fuzzy, you didn't even notice the growing hard-on in your best friend's sweatpants.

It was only after you made the finish line that you felt a certain something poking your lower back. Holy crap.

"Touya.."

"Mmm?"

"I can feel you.."

Silence. He probably didn't immediately catch what you even meant.

"I mean your dick"

Oh.

His body shifts slightly, you can feel it even more now. Touya grabs your waist again, electricity rushing through your veins.

"Sorry doll, 's just what happens when your body is that close", his voice is just above a whisper by now. Touya's hot breath trickles your neck, all your hair stands on end.

"I just don't really know what to do" your voice left the chat long ago. You can't bring yourself to speak up, even now your words come out shaky.

"Do you want to do something?" Touya starts to nibble just behind your ear, freeing a whimper from your lips.

"Tou~..."

"If you wanna stop, y'gotta tell me now. Because I won't.."

You can't even think straight. Everything turned foggy and you don't know if it's Touya or the alcohol.

"I...don't want to stop"

"Good", his voice is barely audible yet so dominant.

Touya proceeds to place a trail of kisses down your neck, stopping at the base to leave a nasty hickey along the way. Your hands find his hair as Touya slowly starts to peel off the layers of your outfit, one-by-one. You turn around to face him, all of your garments on the floor except for your underwear.

The look in his eyes is swarmed with lust and something unreadable, that face of his is so incredibly close but something keeps you from connecting your lips to his. He places a hand onto the small of your back and lays you back-down onto the couch. Something about him hovering above you gives you the worst case of butterflies in your stomach, excitement and arousal bubbles up and spreads across your entire body.

Sitting on his knees, staring down at your exposed body, the white haired man pulls his shirt above his head, revealing just the silver chain around his neck and a trail of white pubic hair down his abdomen. He tosses the shirt aside and leans down, him now nestled between your legs and caging you with his arms on either side of your head.

"You don't know what you do to me, doll", you just hear the jingle of his necklace as he leans down, engulfed by him and his smell. The tension is intoxicating, his forehead on yours, heavy breathing. The heat radiating off of both your bodies.

"I wanted this for so long", you swallow, your tounge feels endlessly heavy. "Please..", you can only mouth that word.

His lips brush against yours, breath hitching. You need to dive deeper into him. You grab his head and let your lips crash together, both of you finally fusing into one. It's so strong, his lips taking control as he devours you with one passionate kiss. Your head spins. You've always imagined this moment yet it was never as intense as it really is.

You feel Touya's hands wander down your body, grazing your sides and gliding to your hips, where he slowly slides his fingers underneath your panties. Goosebumps follow everywhere he touches. Still mid-kiss, your panties are slid down and tossed across the room, followed by your bra. He finally breaks the kiss only to slide down your body and plant himself between you legs, eyes looking up and finding yours. The boyish grin on his face sends a shockwave through your body.

You are too dazed to react in any sort of way, glossy eyes just pleading for him to eat you out. His hungry gaze fuels the fire in your lower abdomen, causing heat to pool between your thighs. Touya dips down, carefully placing kisses and licks to your inner thighs and outer folds, diving deeper and deeper. The man has you squeaking and yelping in no-time.

You always knew he got around plenty yet it never hit you until now, his experience clearly showing as he licks every little crevice and circles your clit expertly. Your legs are shaking violently, somehow you're gonna crush his head between your thighs with your orgasm oh so close. Closer and closer until it suddenly rips through you, hands buried in his white hair as your whole body tenses up and then collapses right in front of the man that makes your world crash down. It's like a supernova exploded right inside your mind, everything goes blank. Nothing but euphoria.

You've never experienced a climax that overwhelming before, you can't stop shaking while tears roll down your eyes.

"Shhh, woah, it's ok, it's ok" Touya's voice calms you as he brushes your tears away with his thumb.

"Are you alright? We can stop if you need a break", you slowly calm down from your high and take his hand to press a kiss against his palm.

"I'm good Tou, just...need a second" you try to supress the sniffles while you wait for your nervous system to rebuild itself again. A few seconds pass by when you finally collect yourself.

"wanna keep going", you smile softly.

"As you say, princess".

With a quick peck to the cheek and a squeeze to your thigh, Touya sits up to slide his dark sweats and boxers down. His length is impressive yet not monstrous. The nice curvy shaft and pretty pink tip make your mouth water, you didn't know a dick can be this pretty.

Your awestruck gaze makes Touya chuckle as he pumps himself a couple of times before positioning himself between your legs again.

"One last chance to stop"

You place your hand on the side of his face as he leans forward. "I want this Touya, please", and with a passionate kiss your once-best-friend slowly slides into your messy folds, stretching you out so deliciously you could've cum just from that.

After some adjusting, the both of you start to settle for a slow but balls-deep rythm, moaning into each other with hands and lips everywhere. After some shifting and re-positioning Touya eventually finds that one special spot that makes you scream his name like a damn prayer, hitting it over and over again.

You clamp down, the sensation too much when he reaches down to fondle your clit. After a few more thrusts you collapse again, this orgasm even stronger than the first one. Your eyes meet Touya's as he fucks you through your orgasm, dick twitching and gaze clouded with so many emotions at once. "Fuck, princess you squeeze...so..hard", with that he fills you up to the brim, cum shooting into your still convulsing walls. You remain like this for a couple of minutes to come down from both your earth-shattering orgasms.

Touya just collapses on top of you, still inside you but too tired to do anything about it. He hugs you tightly.

"You are..so amazing doll"

You are both still slightly out of breath as you fall into a deep sleep with you in Touya's arms. You forgot to turn off the Tv, the dim light shining on both of your intertwined bodies.

[hindulivesmatter]

I used to think Hinduism could be reformed but seeing y’all sanatanis clownery has me convinced that only Periyar-style radical atheism can help this country. Y’all are the damn problem

We should shift to "Periyar-style radical atheism"..... Right....

E.V.Ramaswami (aka Periyar) was honestly what I'd call a Hinduphobic, perverted idiot. What he preached bordered on the verge of insanity to the point where Jawaharlal Nehru called him a lunatic. Former Tamil Nadu chief ministers late C.N.Annadurai and M.G.Ramachandran, who were once close supporters of Periyar, had parted company with him later because of his unjust and unethical policies and behaviour.

But, my apologies, his teachings are the only thing that can help this country, hmm?

Let's look at some fun facts about him, shall we?

Some things Ramaswami did:

Paraded naked idols of gods and goddesses.

Married his own daughter. His second wife was his adopted daughter. Wow.

Used every opportunity to condemn the Hindu Gods and ridicule Hindu customs and traditions, while keeping a steady silence on Islam and Christianity.

Organised a procession in Salem in Tamil Nadu with big cutouts of Ram, Sita and Hanuman garlanded with slippers.

Reportedly used to tell his followers that if they encountered Brahmin and a snake on the road, they should kill the Brahmin first.

Was very pro British. He wanted the British to rule India and didn’t join the independence moment

Was responsible for starting reverse casteism against the minority brahmin community in the Hindu fold

Was a firm believer of Aryan invasion theory

This is the man you want to follow. This man has absolutely no respect for the religion you wish to see "reformed".

And we're the clowns? Please. Literally all we have asked for is to stop the destruction of our temples and respect our history and culture, and you fuckers take that as a personal insult.

If us speaking of about history and all the crimes that have been committed us makes you uncomfortable, maybe you're the damn problem.

Take your Hinduphobic ass somewhere else, and let us live in peace, you dickhead.

[Exhibit 43]

[sketchfanda]

A Little Moxxie Love:Titanic Twins

Every once so often when it came to their missions in the living world, I.M.P could count themselves lucky to have opportunity to go out and about easily enough to do a hit without the need for disguises. Halloween for example, after all who’d notice a trio of imps in a sea of kids, teens and adults alike dressed up in costumes? Masquerade parties, cosplay at conventions, whatever suits provided things didn’t go FUBAR or Blitzo decided to use his brain for a change and not his dick. Which brings us to the current Job ongoing at this every moment at a local campus where a costume party was being hosted for charity.

This event of course was being hosted by one of the college’s sororities which had to do with why our band of mist fits was here, the target this time around was the Dean, who in spite of his clean cut image that appealed to conversation and liberal alike was crooked as fuck!! According to their current client at least, a former campus security guard who’d accidentally stumbled upon evidence of the educational figure’s dirty secret for which the fucker thought was worth killing to keep quiet for. The secret in question being a scrapbook filled with dirty photos of some of the coeds, the horny bastard had hidden cameras and spy holes to peep on them in their most personal and private moments, including their client’s own daughter!! Which of course brings to the current whereabouts of our trio and what they were doing right at the moment.

it was a case of the classic divide and conquer strategy, find their dirty peeping Tom of a target and end his waste of a life. After all a large party full of sexy barely legal college coeds in all manner of costumes that especially highlighted their finest physical qualities and assets? The filthy voyeur was sure to be somewhere that was giving him a great view of the more naughty sort of private moments to ogle and jerk off to. So the sooner they could find and kill his ass, the sinner they could get back to Hell and collect their payday.

So it went with Blitzo covering the north to south end range of the party while Millie would cover the west end and Her sweet possum thespian of a husband would handle the east. Now Moxxie knew Millie was more than capable of handling herself, Christ in a stick when she got angry, she was a one woman murder machine but their employer? At a party where booze was flowing like water in an environment where they weren’t disguised, it was like a chemical equation pending combustion, the clown was ludicrous when he got drunk. So he knew that he had to find that voyeur dean and put his peeping Tom ass six feet under soon as possible before Blitzo got them all on the Six O’Clock news for indecent behaviour and exposure.

Now Moxxie of course figured the best way to find their target was to look for one of those infamous hidden cameras in one of the co-ed’s dorm rooms and baed in the odd small talk and chitter chatter, safe bet for lay dirt would be the room of the Perkins twins. Shelly and Kelly, practically identical from head to toe except that the former had the biggest boobs while the latter had the biggest booty and they were turning heads at the party with their choice of costume as Morrigan and Lilith Aensland from Darkstalkers. Which provided easy distraction as Moxxie found and located the twins’ dorm room, making his way inside after managing to pry and pick the lock then proceed with his search. Easier said than done of course because they didn’t call them hidden for nothing especially with how borderline microscopic they could be.

it didn’t help the Perkins twins’ room was about the sort of organised chaos you’d expect a couple of college hottie to have so the best he could guess was the dean had his voyeur network set up to get the best angles and views. He wasn’t sure how long he’d been at it so far but his efforts had bared little fruit so far when suddenly the thespian imp paused like a deer at the headlights when the door suddenly opened. There stood the cosplaying twins themselves, puzzlement and confusion on their face at the presence of this intruder in their dorm room. Moxxie knew for certain that his part of this job was about to so Deep South, he might as well be back in hell as he awaited the inevitable reaction any woman would have to finding a strange guy in their room going through their personal things.

In the meantime of course Blitzo was pretty much living up to his name as he was busy getting blitzed and hammered because of course how could he pass up an opportunity at a kegger to get wasted and flirt with anything that moved? While Millie of course managed to find their target and pretty much kill his ass, having lucked out on spitting and following the Pervy fuck on the way to his secret voyeur room hidden in his office. She made it about as slow and painful as possible, starting from the groin up as he was rendered in ways that would make him useless to a woman. After cleaning up her knives of course, she made moves to start smashing up his precious system before she paused at the min display monitor which streamed the broadcast from the Perkins twins’ room, making the earth imp ooh and giggle at what was going on as she licked her lips and took a seat to enjoy the show.

What a show it was heating up to be as Moxxie currently found himself sitting on the edge of the mattress of the single king sized bed the twins shared. The boobylicious and bootylicious pair making out with the imp with deep, passionate tongue fuelled kisses as they had stripped him naked, their hands stroking his cock. Rather than shock and anger, Shelly and Kelly had mistaken Moxxie to be a party goer who was eager to have a sexual liaison with them, being no strangers to admirers crushin on them and wanting to get laid with them but they had to say the little possum was the cutest they had seen yet, to say nothing of his dick!! So here they were more than willing and able to give this hellborn hell spawn a little bit of heaven for being so direct and assertive in his last and desire that he snuck into their room.

Kelly:”Mmm dunno how we didn’t come across a sweetheart like you on campus sooner. This cock could give Davey a run for his money…You feeling good there baby!”*The Perkins girl with the party quality set of cake buns sensually quipped and praised their little mistaken secret admired as she currently sat on his lap. Sandwiching and massaging his imp dick with an ass job as she stroked his length and girth between those bubbly buns, panting and moaning as she felt the shaft’s twitching pulse. Pre spraying and flying as it stained her Lilith costume while her sister sat behind Moxxie, his head sandwiched between her bodacious boobs as she massaged his shoulders. Idly petting his sweet head as she sensually licked her lips, biting them erotically while awaiting her turn.*

Shelly:”Mmm how long You been dreaming about these sweet boy? Isn’t it much better having my boobs like this rsther than just staring at them? Mmm, it’s not often I find a cock I can’t smother drown in my girls….Aaaahn,k-Kelly, easy there girl. Not that I’m not enjoying this…”*The bustier Perkins sister teased and praised their sweet little rando, hands clasped with Moxxie’s in sensual intimacy as she was performed a titfuck, pumping his shaft between the valley of her cleavage. Gasping and moaning as the tip thrust close to he luscious lips, inches of crimson red fuckmeat sliding into her mounds like it was her pussy. All the while Kelly knelt behind her sister as she was bending over, eating her out as her tongue lapped away at Shelley’s exposed snatch. A hole torn in the crotch of her Morrigan costume’s leotard to expose her anal donut hole and her sloppy wet slit as the twins’ arousal was at the point where a little incest wasn’t unnnatura for them to occur when enjoying a guy together.*

Now the Perkins twins weren’t virgins in the very least, after all when genetics and liberty hit them as well as it had with a jackpot, how could they not be acquainted with sex? But Moxxie was certainly making their top 5, hell their top 3 best sexual partners to date as while the foreplay had been a tantalising delight, the moment he started fucking them with that big red imp cock of his? Their minds were being blown as they felt their nerves drown in an overdose of raw erotic bliss and ecstasy as they moaned long, loud and hard to fill their room with primal rhythm of animalistic mating. Their cries and the heavy freak and thud of their bed against the floors heard and felt throughout the party, making quite a crop of the female co-eds envious and curious as to what sort of stud could make the twins feel so good while a lot of the guys hollered and cheered on the lucky guy.

Shelly:”Ooohhh fuuckfuckfuckfuck!! Seriously where you been all my life daddy? Don’t stop now keep going!!”*The busty Perkins twin hollered and moaned as Moxxie plowed her, riding him cowgirl style as her tits bounced free and naked from the confinement of her costume. Kelly meanwhile sat atop his face, hands reaching behind her to grasp his horns as handlebars as she smothered him with her plump voluptuous booty as Moxxie ate out her slit and rimmed her, her naughty holes exposed for better access via the torn crotch of her own outfit. The twins feeling their nerves ablaze with pleasure as Shelly felt her womb being hammered by his fuckrod while Kelly found the imp’s tongue was as good as his cock. Their arousal skyrocketing as they leaned close towards one another, locking lips as they kissed and made out in an unsisterly manner to swap spit and play tonsil hockey.*

Kelly:”Oooh fuck ruin me daddy!, make me never want any other man except those as big as as you!! Knock us up daddy! Give us your babies!”*The booty blessed twin couldn’t help but utter such words in the heat of the moment as Moxxie took her from behind like the absolute unit of a stud he was. Having started with fucking her soggy style before her arms and legs couldn’t hold her up any longer, now laying flat on her front as she was being fucked prone bone style. His alpha male cock going balls deep as if shifted between fucking her ass and pussy in turn, those heavy crimson balls smacking every and a king her asscheeks clap like thunder and jiggle like jelly as he mounted her. All the whole she ate out Shelly as the big boobed twin sat in front of her, moaning deeply with ecstasy as she feltKelly’s tongue lap up her juice while she caressed Moxxie’s cue freckled face, making out with him while having him motorboat her luscious titties.*

Millie watched on and enjoyed every goddamn second of this free porn show happening right before her eyes as a pair of human hotties got the rare pleasure of experiencing the finest sexual beast hell had to offer. Fingering and groping herself with abandon as she watched Moxxie take the Perkins twins in a constant shift of two on one to one on one whenever Shelly or Kelly needed to recover some energy and catch their breath. Be it watching them hang their heads off the edge of the bed as they had is cock facefuck them, or use those wonderful set of tits and ass they had to great use as they relished and experienced first hand what sort of stamina freak they had become acquainted with. After all why rush and spoil her man’s fun by telling him and Blitzo the target was taken care of, they had time enough for the twins to enjoy some vitamin Moxxie…..

By the time Moxxie was finally done, panting and exhausted as the twins snuggled him like a plush toy, naked as he was with their costumes laying discarded on the floor. Basking in the afterglow with warm sensual smiles as the only remainder on their cosplay being their askew wigs, skin glistening with sweat and jizz along with their bedsheets as Millie snuck in. Gently snd softly picking up her husband as she planted soft, affectionate kisses on Shelly and Kelly’s temples as she left a note with hers and Moxxie’s contact details a little lipstick kiss saying “Next time you want another round…”, couldn’t have them getting lovesick or thinking it was a dream afte all. Carrying Moxxie out bridal style as she checked the coast was clear, making a call to Loona to set up the portal home, looking forward to sharing the juicy details with her.

The next morning, the news broke out and spread fast as the Dean’s massacred corpse had been found along with his secret peep show being exposed. So nobody was going to be mourning him, least of all the family of I.M.P’s client who made sure to find the sleazeball and ensure he’d suffered in Hell like he was supposed, another satisfied customer. Blitzo finally made his way back, albeit with a hell of a hangover, a sore behind and for some reason, a traffic cone, a police woman’s cap and a set of suspenders. While moxxie of course slept like a baby on the couch as he continued recovering from his wild night of passion with the twins, who shared quite the details with their gal,pals about the amazing lay they had with their unknown stud.

A stud they’d wasted no time in wanting to arrange to see as they got in contact with Millie via the note she so generously provided them, the wrath shortstack wasting no time in wanting to ensure Shelly and Kelly would feel more than welcome to her man. Meanwhile she hoped that Verosika had sent that USB key she provided her with the copy she had made of the Perkins twins’ threesome fun with Moxxie to a certain someone they knew would like to see it. Before she went to retrieve her husband, Millie had made a copy of the twins’ romp and deleted it but left the rest of the evidence for the police. Then she had made a copy on a thumb drive from her phone for the pop star succubus to share as it made its way to its secret destination.

In the office of the found and owner of Skullfuck productions, a certain flaming skullheaded enigma was provided a package from his secretary. In which he found the thumb drive and a note from Verosika sealed with a kiss saying to play it’s contents as she heard it contained something he’d like. Plugging it into his laptop and playing the video file, the being they called Mr.Sketch felt his need to find snd recruit a certain imp to his studio renewed with fresh energy. As well as uploading the video to his website and entitling it “Titanic Twins get Imped!!”, which made record numbers in views and likes in the living world hell and made the demand for Moxxie content skyrocket more so since the video with Marika and Sarita..

[katyspersonal]

(Responding remaining asks for the ask post in a bundle)

Thank you 🥺 But hey, you only won't have more Soulsborne knowledge than me with THIS attitude!! You gotta believe in yourself! XD

_____________________

THANK YOU SO MUCH!! Also I feel like I know who you are XD

That guy, honestly.. I remember giving him some thoughts and analysis that I am still proud of even back in time before I was aware of finer details and translation errors. He felt like someone very real and full of nuances even in my "sounds like creep" era, and then first character I wrote a good analysis on! I take credit for popularising the knowledge about English localisation completely skewing him, because despite LP's document being in access for years nobody fished out THOSE details from it until me!! It took deliberate searching with the purpose of learning THE character!!!! 😎

I miss my more "unalloyed" version of Gehrman though, such a real cold dead-inside man, saved and adopted from abusive house but with the demons inside left forever, whose lack of empathy made him perfect hunter and whose sole true positive emotion in life was meeting Maria but then he took a massive L fsdhdsh I blame @fantomette22 for softening my general perception of him though by just standing there!!! You and your soft ass! GET OVER HERE-

_____________________

^ This one was sent during me typing this post! Thank you very much, this is a lot of praise.. т.т I am self-conscious about my art and feel like the only way to improve is to get a teacher, which can't be organised any time soon, but I am happy you enjoy it as it is still!

(and I am sure your personality is great as well <:3 )

_____________________

Which 'hot' takes? My takes at cooking that chicken @heraldofcrow JUST right? Well this makes sense I guess dfshhsd

fdjhshdsf okay seriously, thank you XD I am not good at dignified, intelligent way of describing my theories that sounds like telling a sad tale or a scary legend that I see some people do both in text and podcasts.. Hell, some of such posts sound like small fanfics! And I sure as hell don't want to accidentally slip into the unapproachable, humourless "let me educate you peasants" tone (it is hard to not even notice)! So the only option left for me as a wordy kind of loredigger was to unleash my inner clown!! I heard people say that adding jokes and cursed memes in the middle of sharing a theory is actually relaxing, so I am glad I am this way <:3

Also really not tryna become a "contrarian" kind of user, we do NOT have a shortage of blogs that throw a shade at the fandom trust me! But what do I do when I also have a lot to say... 🙄 Aren't we all just people who desperately try to not be Hunters until beasts come at OUR doorstep?

_____________________

This is what you see in a Petri dish you've put me in after 2 minutes:

Yes I know I used this image today already you just made it VERY hard to not do it again sdhhfsdsd Anyways, thank you!!

_____________________

Thank you! I hope you still like them!!

I'd actually say that anyone can make really unique headcanons and interpretations! My secret is actually to minimise exposure to the takes in the fandom until I've came up with my idea to offer! It helps me to jump into a metaphorical pillowfort with @val-of-the-north when a character or a question interests us and brainstorm the ideas; I do the suggestions, intuition, right questions and imagination part, whereas he does finding the most obscure gameplay consequences, finds obscure images from the furthest corners of the internet and remembers literally every detail that could help or debunk like a supercomputer! *sets the 'days since praising Val on public' counter back to 0 AGAIN fhsdhds*

THEN I hop on Tumblr and offer my idea and look what other people say (with rare exceptions about smaller things). Key word is, 'THEN'! I've met many people who were shocked when I informed them that what they assumed was canon in fact was just a popular fanon! Many people make the same mistake: they see many people doing [thing] and just assume it has to be legit then and never double check for selves! This ensures less variety of interpretations with all (designs, ships, story, portrayals and takes) which is a bit disheartening! Just remember to 1) look at the source material with clear eyes, only consulting wikis and reference videos, for example to know about questline or item you've missed 2) communicate with the fandom about a topic when you DO have your own idea already, this will me mutually enriching for both and 3) never simply take majority's word as canon! And then you will be like me! x)

You will ALSO be like me if you add Spongebob meme within a serious theory and organise dash wars with your mutuals but that's for another story fdshfhsd

[heliostears]

WIP Tagging Game !

I got tagged by @allmightskitten and I had to double-check my notification to make sure I didn't read wrong HAHA. This is going to expose me but this is gonna be fun to do. Fingerscrossed I'll finish them all at some point, I'm a little bit busy with comms and con prep for February but, I'll make time! Rules: make a new post with the names of all the files in your wip folders, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. People send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, then post a little snipper or tell them something about it!

Ok just a disclaimer, I don't actually write that much WIPs because I like to finish smth before starting a new one, and I'll only include One Piece fics because that's all I have right now. There will also be selfship fic on here, and because I do not have the same amount of writer oomfs on tumblr here (as you can probably tell), I will only tag the ones I know!

Jealousy - General, Shanks/my sona I started selfshipping with Shanks, so I'm kind of clowning myself here. The story is pretty self-explanatory from the title, and the setting is obviously in the One Piece world. My sona gets jealous over Shanks getting attention from the girls, Benn swoops in and takes those girls off of Shanks. In my interpertrations and headcanons, Shanks don't exactly flirt back with those girl or entertain their flirtations because he's not Benn Beckman (LOL). I kind of end up not liking this one because it feels kind of weird and the story derailed into something that I don't like. I've decided to drop this WIP because of that reason.

Stress Relief - Mature, Building Snake/Benn Beckman Surprise! I got into this ship because of an artist on Pixiv, and ever since then I've not been the same. I have already posted one fic of this ship, and this WIP has been in my docs for a long while now. It's basically just Snake getting so damn stressed out, and having no outlet for that stress. This fic is sort of a continuation from my first SnakeBenn fic where Snake took Benn's ass virginity LOL. Turns out there is more than just a 'second time' for their encounter, and Benn finds himself to be rather into what Snake does to him. Given the height and size gaps between them, I get to play around quite a lot with this pair, as you can probably imagine.

akataka again - Rating undecided, currently M, Shanks/Mihawk I've forgotten to continue this fic from early November omfg. Anyway, I've got a AkaTaka series going on that I've yet gotten the chance to continue. This one involves the pair spending time in Mihawk's bed in Kuraigana Island. Shanks is trying to get Mihawk's attention while the latter is reading an erotica novel for the plot. Shanks is mildly surprised to see Mihawk reading such novel, and asks if he doesn't get aroused by the description, HAHA. I think this one's just going to be a little silly, but I'd be happy if anyone wants to express their curiosity over this one.

Untilted Work - G, Sir Crocodile/My Friend (modern AU!) OK So this one's a gift for my friend because she's a wonderful person, and I've decided to not take this as a commission, but a gift to her. I can't technically spill the whole plot--but I'll just write this down as what she wants the plot to be about. My friend in this fic is an art dealer/curator. She deals with being the middle person when it comes to selling art (be it paintings, statues and whatnot). She attends a connection event held at the Louvre, organised by Doflamingo, and she meets Sir Crocodile there for the first time! It's currently down to 1.7k words and I'm planning on writing more. I'm having a whole lot of fun doing Modern AU for One Piece fics honestly, they're so fun.

That's pretty much all of the fics that I have right now! Another one is a commission and I definitely can't post it here lol. Thank you again for tagging me, this is so fun to do, and it makes me think of the WIPs that I have going on that I might want to continue :3 I truly hope you don't mind the tag, and please don't feel pressured about needing to do this, but I'm tagging @fakescorpion and @renjerungu for this one! Please only do this at your own comfort and don't feel forced to :3

[midnightemy35]

Gorl drop the hot takes on Royst!! I'm all earss!! 👂

Oh my gosh an ask!!(((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o)))♡

Warning! : Potential spoilers (characters that show up quite late in the story) These aren’t exactly hot takes, more of headcannons but here you go!

He was born into a non awakened family so when his awakened powers started showing they kicked him out calling him the devil

He lived on his own for a long time, developing his skills on his own (and it turned out great especially for someone who had no one to teach him)

He met Kayden when he was around 16 and was taken in as Schnauder’s apprentice a year later (I’d say he’s around 25 in the current storyline)

He made a name for himself very soon after being taken in by Schnauder, showing a lot of progress almost immediately after Schnauder started teaching him

He loves clowns, that’s why his makeup is like that (yes he also likes McDonald’s creepy ass clown)

Although Schnauder doesn’t give two shits about his apprentices, Royst still sees him as a father figure since he helped him grow and taught him about awakened world’s politics

Because of this, he hated Duke the very first time he met him, he felt like Duke was trying to take away his father figure

Close acquaintances with Muse. They respect each other since they and their masters all belong to the same organisation but they are somewhat cautious around each other since their masters could one day turn on each other

He’s quite good with kids, makes them balloon animals (he visits frame’s children rookies every so often to make balloon figures for them and they love him)

^ some of the higher ups don’t approve, saying it softens the kids but Royst uses his status as Schnauder’s apprentice to get away with it

Feel free to send in asks! (๑╹ω╹๑ )

[phanfictioncatalogue]

AO3 Fics (11) Masterlist

part one, part two, part three, part four, part five, part six, part seven, part eight, part nine, part ten

a night to remember (ao3) - grievingwarwidow

Summary: roxie, who prefers the label exotic performer over stripper, is a star amongst people who are out when the sun goes down. who better for a close-minded phil who has despised what he labels as lowlifes to suddenly obsess over than Roxie himself?

aka the one where phil gets pathetically hung up on dan, better known as roxie and is desperate to get to know him better.

cat bells (ao3) - N_Chu4Ever

Summary: The catboy photoshoot, except it all goes weirdly wrong because Phil accidentally bought Dan a magic cat costume off the internet. Oops.

Chips (ao3) - philsmeatylegss

Summary: Dan struggling with the concept that all healthy couples should fight.

Charmed (ao3) - hygge

Summary: Dan doesn’t understand Valentine’s Day. That is until he’s given an anonymous card with someone’s phone number in it. It takes months of talking with this anonymous person to learn who they are, and it ends up being the person that Dan least expects.

Come Over (ao3) - Mysticallykai

Summary: Dan and Phil's relationship is beginning to bloom, but Dan is terrified to let Phil into his home so he keeps pushing him away. He however, slowly learns that Phil is someone who will make his house a home.

Based loosely off of "Come Over" By Noah Kahan

dan and philly's wet moments (ao3) - heartsopenminds

Summary: Phil loathes hiring people to come and fix stuff around the house - he never imagined that watching someone power washing a patio could be so much fun though.

Daniel Howell: The Man Behind the Clown Mask (ao3) - danhoweiis

Summary: Rising to fame in the mid-2010’s, YouTube star and self proclaimed professional internet clown, Daniel Howell has had quite the repertoire of careers, from BBC Radio 1 DJ, to author of 3 best selling books. After the success of his last two global tours, Dan is taking to the stage yet again. In an exclusive interview with GQ magazine, I was given the opportunity to follow Dan on the UK leg of his tour and see what it takes to produce a sell out show and maybe find out the key to his success.

Danisnotadom (ao3) - Sinninghowlter

Summary: Dan's not a dom. Everyone swears up and down that he is, insists he is domming his boyfriend and is too good to take it in the ass.

Phil's not a sub. Everyone thinks he is, everyone thinks his baby is in charge. What they don't know is his hardcore boyfriend is actually a princess.

domino’s pizza (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: dan can’t stop thinking about calling phil ‘daddy’ again, but his anxiety makes it feel impossible to communicate his desires with phil. but phil always knows when something’s up, and dan can’t bear to keep things from him.

Electronics and the Phil’s that break them (ao3) - Fictropes

Summary: The first time’s an accident, a proper accident— a Phil forgot how to hold his cup and now he’s watching his coffee seep into his keyboard type accident.

Guilty Pleasure (ao3) - ThoughtaThought

Summary: Dan and Phil meet at a BDSM club and decide to play. Dan is a rigger and a masochist. Phil is a sadist and a rope bunny. It’s perfect.

hard launch at last (ao3) - calvinahobbes

Summary: “Maybe the exact right moment won’t ever present itself.” Dan can feel himself hurtling towards some cosmic revelation as they stand here on a sandy beach in Portugal, the ocean bringing out the blue in Phil’s eyes.

hard times, baby (ao3) - queerofcups

Summary: For some people, their jumps came with a task. Figure it out, finish it and your past self would just fade away. That's not Dan. He's not sure why his past self is here. But he's got some theories.

I Don't Love You (ao3) - Raspberrysaxophone

Summary: Dan and Phil work in an office and are (unfortunately) sharing a desk. Phil is often away on business or working from home so they are never there at the same time. They both get frustrated with how the other one organises the shared space and tell each other that through notes

- or -

Dan and Phil hate each other, but soon Dan realises that he is developing a crush on him. What will a New York business trip (where they are sharing a room xxx) do to their relationship?

Knight of Wands (ao3) - dapg_otmebytheballs

Summary: Dan does not believe in fate and destiny and fortune-telling. Dan finds the idea of fortune-telling at the same time exciting and terrifying. He definitely doesn’t believe in it though. But he’s starting to have doubts.

OR

Dan watches Phil do tarot readings and learns something about fate.

knight of wands (ao3) - dizzy

Summary: Some days are just boring.

(And some aren't.)

Neighbourly Nook (ao3) - wednesday_ukiru

Summary: The stranger had a dimple on his cheek that appeared when he laughed.

“I’m Dan,” he said, extending his hand. Phil reached for it with extreme eagerness, their knuckles knocking together in a particularly painful way, and they both winced, but Dan immediately broke into a smile. “I don’t know why I offered you a handshake, I never know how to do them.”

nylon is for delicate work (ao3) - Anonymous

Summary: A forensic linguist meets a lawyer in Rawtenstall.

Sunshine on the street at the parade (ao3) - ForeverJustAnEmoKidAtHeart

Summary: Dan and Phil meet at a Pride Parade.

The Philver Scream (ao3) - UnorthodoxSavvy

Summary: While Dan's career in the FBI is taking off, Phil is left behind to pick up the pieces of his life after his brother's death. However, he finds himself plagued by strange nightmares that he can't explain. Soon, people around him start dying. Can Dan and Phil's partnership survive the mounting body count?

'tis the damn season (ao3) - pasteldanhowells

Summary: Dan is the coffee shop regular at the shop Phil just started working at. Phil quickly learns that Dan is a bit of a Grinch who refuses to try the shops' holiday drinks, or anything new really. Phil's determined to change Dan's mind about the holiday drinks.

to let the light in (ao3) - cityofphanchester

Summary: Searching for a fresh start after a decade of dead ends in London, Dan becomes obsessed with a storytelling show on Rossendale Radio and a voice that hasn't been broadcast in years.

Two Man Team (ao3) - Nefertiti1052 (Succubusphan)

Summary: This is the story of two struggling friends who after many trials and tribulations find their way back to each other and build the life they've always dreamed of.

Or how Phil changed his life by talking to random strangers on the internet.

Wagon Wheel (ao3) - SylvesterLester

Summary: Is there enough room in Wagon Wheel for Phil's saloon and Sheriff Howell's city-slickin' ways?

when it feels like nothing else matter, will you put your arms around me? (ao3) - commonemergency

Summary: “Sorry.” Phil says.

His father wraps his arms around him, and the embrace feels warm. It’s an embrace that he hasn’t felt in a long time. It’s like when he was a kid and something scary happened and his father just held him like nothing could ever hurt him because his father was there protecting him.

“It’s okay.” His father quietly whispers into his hairline. “It’s okay.”

He didn’t know how to tell him all the things that he wanted to say, like: I don’t know how to stop my thoughts from spiralling out of control. What if the medicine makes it worse? What do we do if things don’t get better? How do I live in a world that doesn’t have my dad in it?

“Let’s just enjoy right now.” His father says, and he doesn’t let go of him.

"You look at my face a lot" (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Phil has a pretty new eyebrow slit but Dan decides that he could use a little make-up to highlight it. They end up in bed with Dan hovering close to Phil's face trying to do a good job while he's also trying not to ravish him or get (too) sappy.

your love is my drug (ao3) - antiadvil

Summary: Phil wakes up with a migraine.

[borathae]

it’s the fact you have this platform with lots of followers and don’t use it to advocate for the right things

If you are the lil bitch fucker that keeps spamming me with "israel vs palestine" ANON messages, get off the fucking internet and get a fucking life.

Anyone with a fucking brain between their skull should know what I think about this very serious fucking topic and the fact that you make it into a little internet trend by going "hihi israel or palestine? pick one hihi" says way more about your fucking character than mine. You're fucking pathetic for sending in mutlitple asks like that just because you think it's cool to "jump onto the trend". Just because it's currently "trendy" on social media to pick sides, doesn't mean it's fucking okay to make it a thing. IT IS NOT! As if war and genocide is ever something you should make into a "lil social media trend", it's fucking disgusting how y'all are so chronically online these days that you don't even use your rotten brains for just one second to think "hey maybe I shouldn' t actually make it into a trend and go around saying hihi which side to pick to any stranger on the internet". Seriously fucking get a fucking grip on reality you bitch ass. There's actual people losing their homes and lives in Palestine right now, you assface, they're not just props in your newest "internet trend poll".

I don't "advocate" about the "right things" on this fucking blog because it's literally not that kind of blog. It's a blog where you can come to escape reality. You can fangirl/boy/enby, you can read and look at fanart, talk about bangtan and their music and you can FUCKING ESCAPE REALITY. It has never been a political/worldnews kind of blog because there are a lot better blogs out there for that. Blogs run by people who want to make it possible that people keep up to date with everything happening in the world, people who have politics as their passion and who will have a way broader vocabulary on the topic than I ever will.

Having followers no matter how many doesn't mean you automatically have to speak up about everything happening in the world just so lil bitch strangers like you can sleep better at night. I will not goddamn fucking perform my activism as if I'm a lil circus clown just to get off lil bitches like you. I'll donate as much as can, I'll try to keep up with the news as best as possible and I'll send prayers to everyone suffering and I'll do it not because I want to look better on the internet but because I actually fucking care about the people. And yes something like this is possible. You can actually care about world topics and partake in helping the innocent people in need without boasting about it on the internet. Yeah what a fucking wild take, but's it's actually fucking possible.

And now for the last fucking time so that even rotten brained bitches like you understand it, I generally don't tend to speak up about political or worldnews matters on here because this blog is a possibility for anyone who wants to escape the burdening realities for a little while.

If you would have come here actually wanting to seriously talk about this topic or asked me to give you guys options on how to help the people of Palestine, I would have fucking loved to do so. But instead you come here on anon like a lil coward bitch and try to make it into a "hihi funny internet trend hihi pick sides hihi funny". You're fucking disgusting and there is a reason why I've ignored you until now.

Now for anyone who actually wants to help and do something that will actually help the Palestines, I'll give you a list of organisations you can donate to. Make sure to see if you can donate from your country, I picked out the European sites of the organisations.

MAP

Islamic Relief

Save the Children

UN -> it will contain a list of more donation options

I am sure that there so many more organisations you can donate to, but I picked out the ones which I personally think trustworthy and to which I've also donated without any problems (please educate me if one of them is a scam and I haven't heard about it yet). Also feel free to leave more links in the comments, so there will be an array of possibilities for anyone who wants to help.

[yanderu-deredere]

at the risk of sounding extremely weird, have you ever heard of the game cookie run kingdom? if so, could you do some of your yanderes reactions to a darling that's absolutely obsessed with the game? maybe even to the point of having physical merchandise and going to events in person?

a/n: HELLO?? SHUT UP!! HAVE I HIT THE JACK POT?? THIS IS US RN!! 🥺🤝🏼🤡 (im the clown) but neway holy shit, what's the chances that id have a follower that's into yanderes and cookie run kingdom?? i don't know what to say other than thank you for winning ask of the week and here's your request! hope you enjoy! i know cotton candy cookie is from cookie run and she hasn't been transfered to cookie run kingdom but A PERSON CAN DREAM OKAY!

warning: i definitely nerded out onto this post and im so sorry, some gacha gaming terms like whaling (putting down a lot of money to get a specific character you want) and pay to win (paying a lot of mini transations LOL)

soren kumar ★ profile

Soren doesn't know about the app but he should. Yeong-bae has definitely mentioned it to him a good handful of times but he's bad at remembering things he's not interested in sometimes. For you, though, he'll try it. He definitely ends up not liking it though. He just doesn't get it. You sit there and watch the cookies fight the cake? Okay, and then what? You level them up so they can fight tougher cake? Interesting. The aesthetic is cute enough but he doesn't know if he'll play it in the long run. He'll definitely play it up in front of you though since he doesn't want to insult something you love

I think the one thing that'll really interest him is Parfait cookie. He knows what it feels like to busk, to have to work your ass off to get recognised, and then to finally have all that hard work be paid off. So, he likes her because he can relate to her. But he doesn't like her enough to pay to win or anything. Unfortunately, he's one of those people where he's just really lucky and he ends up pulling her multiple times (you definitely need him to press the button for you when you're pulling for cookies you want LOL)

When it comes to you, he'll indulge you. He doesn't get it at all. They're just cookies and the game isn't even that fun. But it makes you happy and there's nothing in the world he wants more than to make you happy. So, he buys you the merch, he goes to the events with you (disguised, of course, since he doesn't want the date to be cut off by paparazzi) and he lets you spend his money on the app. He does give you a cut off every month. You're only allowed to spend $500! No more! Maybe a little more on special events but-- Oh, don't give him those puppy dog eyes....

eun-jeong yoo ★ profile

Eun-jeong is definitely just a casual fan. It's cute, it's popular, he likes the aesthetic. It's just something he uses to pass the time sometimes when he's alone in the vet office. He'll log on every day to get his dailies done and he'll make sure not to waste any freebies he gets but he also doesn't spend any money on the app at all. He's free to play all the way. Also doesn't put too much thought on his team just sticks with the automatic teams or a team of his five strongest cookies. The biggest crime is that he just arranges all of his buildings in a grid pattern and literally doesn't care about how they're organised.

His favourite cookie is Financier cookie for sure. Eun-jeong kinda looks up to Financier cookie's personality. He loves that she's so strong-willed and that she's able to protect the people that she cares about. Low-key, Eun-jeong wants to be like that for you. He wants to be able to protect you and he wants to be able to be someone you can depend on like how a lot of people depend on Financier cookie! He also loves her aesthetic a lot.

When it comes to you, Eun-jeong would definitely fuel your addiction. He won't pay for anything on his account but he'll definitely give you his card if you want to pay to win. Also would definitely go with you to events or get you merchandise of your favourite cookie (and of Financier cookie so the two of you match!)

liam arieh ★ profile

Liam doesn't know anything about the app until you mention it and, when you do, he checks it out. He's literally only been on it for an hour but he's already dropped like $100 like it's nothing. He's pay to win all the way and he's not ashamed of it LOL. He's already got the most popular and powerful cookies because of it. He's literally out here whaling. Definitely the type to be super into it when he starts but then like slowly plays it less and less. He'll always keep going back to it though because he likes having something the two of you both do together

His favourite cookie is Clotted Cream cookie just because he likes his vibes. Personally, I think scheming cocky bastards attract each other but that's just me. Liam also just really likes his aesthetic and likes the fact that he's a really powerful cookie. Sometimes, Liam will even ask you if the two of them look like each other. Cringe

When it comes to you, of course he supports your addiction. If you think he's willing to drop money just for his account, wait till you see how much he's willing to drop for yours. He'll also be happy to go to events with you and buy you merch. In fact, he'll buy you all of the merch! Your entire room will be infested with merch of your favourite cookies (plus some of Clotted Cream cookie, unfortunately)

ayaka yamato ★ profile

Ayaka knows the app. It's cute and it's popular so of course she's checked it out! She's definitely here for the aesthetic and the aesthetic only. She doesn't care about any of the strategy, the statistics, the gaming; nothing. She just likes that the cookies all look sweet and cute. Unlike literally anybody else on the list, her kingdom is thematic and decorated perfectly. She uses the kingdom save system so she can change her kingdom every single time her favourite color has changed. She has a set up for pinks, purples, blues-- And, of course, she's achieved this by using money to buy all the decorations and buildings, of course! All her cookies have the best skins too LOL cus, unlike everyone else, she spams the costume gacha instead of the cookie gacha.

Her favourite cookie is actually Strawberry Crepe cookie! It was a good tie between Strawberry Crepe cookie and Strawberry cookie. I think, if her darling's personality was a lot like Strawberry cookie, then Strawberry cookie would be her favourite because she finds her really really cute, her aesthetic is adorable and she's strawberries! But, if not, her favourite is Strawberry Crepe! Ayaka just relates a lot to being small and being looked down on but then absolutely kicking ass LOL And she likes that Strawberry Crepe has big dreams for herself! Plus, Strawberry Crepe cookie has the absolute cutest aesthetic too

When it comes to you, of course she'd support your addiction. She'd be way more hands-on about it though. If your kingdom looks like trash, she's taking your phone and she's fixing it! It doesn't have to be color coded like hers but c'mon, put some more effort into it! At least have little sections or something! And she'll definitely dress the two of you up in outfits inspired by your favourite cookies hwen the two of you go to events! It'll be so fun!

ryuunosuke yamamoto ★ profile

Ryuu is already a huge fan and when he finds out that you're a fan too? He'll literally scream because the two of you can be fans together! He puts some thought into his kingdom decoration but not that much. Kind of just lines up all his shops and then decorations are in the other half LOL Definitely tries to get into the strategy part of the game but he's super bad at it and ends up just being slightly better than most players. He's only slightly pay to win but he's a recovering addict, okay! You're not supposed to go cold turkey when you quit!

His favourite cookie is Sea Fairy cookie. He's been a fan of the franchise since the original Cookie Run app and that's where he fell in love with Sea Fairy cookie! The way she's always longingly looking into the night sky, missing the love of her life (cough Moonlight cookie cough), and all the sad voice lines! He feels so sorry for her! Plus, she's his strongest cookie! And her aesthetic is so beautiful!~~

When it comes to your addiction, he'll try to do the good boyfriend thing and steer you away from it. He wants to be responsible and he knows, in the long run, it's bad to encourage it. But, oh god, he knows the pain. If you really really want to pay to win, though, you might end up dragging him back into his addictions too not that he would complain that much. Hewon't be as hesitant bringing you to events and buying you merch though! He'll get you guys matching couple stuff! Maybe you can be the Moonlight cookie to his Sea Fairy cookie?

ryouta watanabe ★ profile

Another disgusting Cookie Run Kingdom fan LOL You might not even have to tell him you're into the game, you'll find him wearing merchandise of it or something somehow. He's the type that loves the aesthetic but also he's in the top 1% best players of the game. His team is doing like 200mil damage or some crazy shit. He's like over calculating the strats, making sure he's equipping the right stuff, etc. It also helps that he's pay to win the whole way (and it's probably the reason he's broke). He's also the guild master to one of the top guilds in the game and he's super strict about people logging in and doing their part. If you're inactive for a week, you're out! It's the top guild for a reason LOL

His favourite cookie is actually Cotton cookie and it's because she's one of the best support cookies in the game-- LOL but also because she's super cute and soft and kind and innocent which reminds him of you. No, it doesn't matter if you're some buff 6'6 guy! Cotton cookie still reminds him of you! That's how he sees you! This soft support character he needs to protect because your HP and defense stats are very low but you give him so much support and he just loves you so much!

When it comes to you, he definitely supports your addiction. In fact, he supports your addiction way too much. He'll like help you out with your team composition if you want him to, he'll let you borrow his card if you want to, he'll invite you into his guild, he'll remind you to log in every single day! He'll even log in for you if you'd like! And the two of you can just sit together on your phones, beating the asses of some cute cake hounds or something

yeong-bae kigal ★ profile

Another idiot with way too much time on their hands LOL Yeong-bae is definitely way too into Cookie Run Kingdom and it shows. A lot of their salary goes into gacha games and mobile games. In fact, they have like several phones because of it (one phone for work, one phone for gacha games, one phone for photos, one phone for normal stuff). It's really unfortunate. But they're a lot like Ryouta where they're the 1% of players on the app because they're so good at calculating strategy and stats. Unlike Ryouta, they also care a lot about aesthetics so they make his kingdom look good too. They're both on the same guild! They're actually an officer in Ryouta's guild LOL

Their favourite cookie is Pure Vanilla cookie and, not to be repetitive, but it's because he reminds them of you! Pure Vanilla is so healing and good, someone that brings so much light to everyone around him. That's what it feels like being around you! For Yeong-bae, just standing next to you is like standing on stage, in the spotlight! And being with you, talking with you and spending time with you, is like being healed by Pure Vanilla cookie! Definitely way over-levels Pure Vanilla cookie because of this sole fact LMAO

When it comes to you, what is he earning for if not to fuel your life joys? If he can't make you happy by letting you whale or by letting you buy your favourite merchandise, what's the point in being a popstar? Unfortunately, he can't easily go to the events. He'll have to wear a mask the entire time or he'll have to wear a disguise. But it's worth it if the two of you can go on a cute date!

[gam3bo1-movedagain]

     ᘛ⁐ᕐᐷ 🧀   𓈒ㅤ⋅          ﹙@womansound﹚        :        friends ( beta ver. ) headcanons        ,        from this ask meme        !

🍧        :        who    gets    to    pick    where    to    eat    ?

anthony. do i have to explain why (NEVER RIP BTW!!!!!) sometimes adam picks too :) ant fr has a Neverending list of restaurants he wnts to take everyone to (its a V Organised colour-coded excel document)

🦩         :        who    do    they    like    making    fun    of    ?

good question! depends on everyone's mood x but tbh i feel like andrew and juno get shat on the most 😭 ok! i have thoughts! punch me in th face if im wrong x mac and tate seem like the type to clown typos (anthony is usually the victim </3) like they'd be SOOOOO annoying they'll keep spamming the gc w the typo until ant's like "ENOUGH!" i know thered b jokes about beau's accent too 😭 also i wouldnt call it "making fun" per se but i know evry1 (minnie) would be like "juno mybe try pulling the stick out your ass" MSNBCSDMNC + hc : tate fell for a robux gift card scam once and he will Never ever ever ever hear the end of it

👙          :        what    emoji    would    your    characters    use    to    describe    each    other    ?

this is hard 2 answer but from My Muses' end it consists of: 🍔 (greasy) 👯‍♂️ (it's always a party when they hang out x) 🤬 (not a day goes by w/out somebody arguing) 🏡 (home <3) 🐒 (theyre a bunch of animals)

👛          :        who    takes    the    most    pictures    ––    bonus:    who    is    the    designated    photographer    for    that    character’s    pictures    ?

oh boy ... tate <3 for obvious reasons ( bc spiderman Hello ) and he brings his little camera evrywhere <3 probably has a box of films he has yet to develop ... he prefers being behind the camera + seeing every1 happy makes Him happy but maybe <3 minnie snaps candid shots of him from time to time

🧠          :        who    leaves    voicemails    /    voice    messages    ?

i feel like... mcbonalds would fr start arguments in the gc like everybody else would just wake up to +99 voice msg notifications and its literally just beau and mac Fighting </3 but i can also see andrew doing it when he gets too lazy to type esp since. he never shuts the fuck up! MNSDBMCNDB

[bitterseadrop-a]

my clown ass trying to sift through and organise drafts + mentions

[brytnoter]

[IMAGE ID: Original tumblr post from September 25th, 2021 by @dogz5 . Screenshots featuring a list of discord voice channels.]

Channels grouped together under the title "SEX VOICE CHANNELS"

apologetic-sex[text only] normal sex silly sex wild sex passionate sex survival sex healing sex diddles is feeling kind o… earnest clown sex gay sex hospital inducing sex weird sex efficient sex cringe sex with my fail… awful sex sweaty sex girl sex sex with your mom feminist sex vent sex masculine-sex epic sex outdoor sex frightening sex sickening sex frightfully horrific sex haunted sex bald sex hairy sex hairier sex harrier sex spine chilling sex creepy sex anguished sex disrespectful sex stinkyy sex group sex nonbinary sex womanly sex birthday-sex [demon face emoji]ORGY[demon face emoji] [private channel]

[A follow-up post from @dogz5, a screenshot of the text chat #apologetic-sex where the phrase "I'm sorry." fills the screen 31 times.]

[A follow-up post from @dogz5 on March 22nd, 2023]

"this post is going around again and its been a few years so thought i should update with some of the new sex channels tht have been added"

Channels grouped together under the title, "SEX 2"

dumber sex [text only] asexual sex i really really want sex … arid sex biome sex bread making sex chaste sex damp sex do a flip sex Dude! Nice sex! extinct megafauna sex evil sex good sex morally grey sex fucked up and evil sex powerslide sex sketeboard sex tacky sex wheelie sex ytp sexer XTREME SEX

su chan sex dyslexic sex dyslexic lex sexo especial pleasurable sex dumb sex better call sex default sex hobby tunneling sex structurally unsound s… osha certified sex suicide bait sex ant sex slimy sex southern hemisphere s… northern hemisphere s… intimidating sex monologuing sex intellectual sex belittling sex absent sex ambush sex harrowed groon sex fully clothed sex puppet sex balls in the condom sex house redecorating sex

Channels grouped under the title "EXPANDED SEX UNIVERSE" sex? christian sex damper sex devious sex Clean and organised sex girlsexbattle2 walden sex middle-aged sex Bulgarian sex [00/69] varnished sex garnished sex just a spot of vaseline … ambulance sex cooking 600 eggs sex sexless sex hot sex cold sex lukewarm sex luke sex HAPPY BIRTHDAY Rav… marathon sex triathlon sex pentathlon sex paralympic sex

JESSE WE NEED SEX pansexual sex sidecake sex carbunkle sex virgin sex alcoholic sex expansive sex delightful sex driving home sex brownie disaster style … passive aggressive sex rude to men on facebo… double sex quadruple sex sextuplet sex fingers in his ass sex therian sex sex files Christmas sex 9 pm sex two trucks having sex when willy sex? [private channel] sex for ANTS? one more death grips s…

Channels grouped under the title "FORBIDDEN SEX ZONE" no more death grips sex joyous cigar experienc… vengeful sex shoebill sex worthless sex my gym partner's a sex pervert sex knock the mario coins … radiant sex beloved sex flagellating sex respectful sex incomprehensible mop… pro lamps sex pathetic sex knock the minecraft or… a spot of sex spaghetti sex meatball sex sex 2 CEO of sex short king sex break room lesbian sex

personal sex bigg sloppy sandwich sex joker sex sinister sex hot dog sex gay sex explosion willy sex WILL he sex? when will he sex wig sex bloated sex romantic candlelit sex sex with 12 billion peo… struck by lightning sex softcore sex sockpuppet sex sex of all time lost sex found sex schrödinger's sex whata wrong with my s… sex gifs arena sex that sex hurted mobius strip sex my personal sex FUCK

Channels grouped under the title "SEASONING SEX" paprika sex salsa sex oregano sex cumin sex cummin sex cum in sex peppery sex pepperoni sex curry leaves sex ginger sex bayleef sex chilli powder sex cinnamon sex coriander sex koriander-sex peppercorn sex peppercum sex cardamom sex carda your mom sex matt smith sexalicious … cayenne sex star anise sex I want to kill my landlo…

basil sex wireless sex artistic sc unballed meat sex HAVE SEX! mountain climbing sex gougar sex fundamental sex wise sex graceful sex sex at sunset sex in the forest sex in the moonlight sex in the mud sex in the vineyard sex on the sand morose sex serendipitous sex barefoot sex columbo sex magic sex meow meow kitty cat s… onion sex employed sex

Channels grouped under the title "MORBIUS SEX" morbius sweep sex dead-grandpa-birthda… shower-sex hero of sex furniture building sex

Channels grouped under the title "EMERGENCY ONLY" bond-clean-sex [text only] [demon face emoji]ORGY[demon face emoji] [private channel] bond clean sex hospital finger wound sex sex from beyond the g…

[prclns]

Any headcanons about the twins hana and duri? I have a couple of them..

hana is a perfectionist in some sense (x is too), maybe being the older is also influencing that, and have some moments where he feels he might snap.

I remembered that special s14 where they have a competition limo and dwoon organised. And he was feeling very down because he was failing and felt the pressure that he is the smart one. And semo was comforting him and assuring him (their bond is cute).

Tho duri is a very cheerful and the clown of the group, he definitely had his down moments, and brushed it down in his heart, that's why he was the most understanding and comforting to nathan (I forgot his original name😅) when he closed himself to sadness and depression in the later season (man that was a very depressing plotline and I was sad that nathan and his brother moved away).

THIS IS SO GOOD ANON you can use the english name with me i dont mind haha. Hana is definetly a perfectionist. the 52 one too..i can definetly see duri being the type to be cheerful in first seasons yet all the complications of being a literal big ass robot pilot in such a young age (cough neon arc cough) can make him out to be even more perfectionistic than his bro. especially seeing how way less eccentric he is in hod. part of me also says he got a bit more serious after ogong left since he probably got along with him the most of the main 5..but atleast they reunite in HoD...overrall thank you very much for this long post i really enjoyed reading it. feel free to send more stuff this is so fun i do have headcanons but i write once in a blue moon so please be very patient..i suck at writing LOL.

[collymore]

A good expose of modern day pomposity!

By Stanley Collymore

Jim Ratcliffe and fellow media poser John Caudwell both individually, and jointly don't give or care a rat's ass about the UK and simply flip flop like all of their sort to suit their respective business interests. Jim Ratcliffe, obviously by the way, is crucially a non-Dom with all that it sinisterly, and repugnantly means for the tax affairs of Britain! At the actual time of writing, viable research is being obviously carried out, on John Caudwell's tax status, but it won't be that least surprising if it is not similar, or even identical, to buddy's, John Ratcliffe. So here we go again! The party, which one supports truly isn't responsible for rising inflation but unquestionably undoubtedly very instinctively can and will take credit when inflation literally goes down. But of course the actual opposite, is undeniably true for the parties these fatuous clowns very conveniently choose to desist from financially backing for the most far-fetched reasons!

These two morons seemingly financially relevant but with a marked paucity when it comes to true intellectual acumen aren't realistically, giving genuine support to a very gullible, Keir Starmer or the Labour Party but are patently, and brazenly too literally amorally, buying influence. And truly absolutely, as anybody with a half functional brain can clearly see simply self-servingly, effectively want to have the proverbial foot, undoubtedly in the expectedly, winning camp; as they are crucially quite worried about Labour's evidently purportedly keenly intended clampdown literally on tax avoidance loopholes while undoubtedly, fittingly, strengthening workers, crucial rights! Thus obviously, Messrs Ratcliffe and Caudwell's rather sudden conversion from being quite irrefutably, life -long Tories to effectively adopting Labour principles while quite incredibly also distinctly becoming: unquestionably eager members of the Labour Party, distinctly rather plausibly, do qualify for the odium aptly levelled at them.

(C) Stanley V. Collymore 24 June 2024.

Author's Remarks: Seemingly to the intellectually challenged in the Labour Party, Jeremy Corbyn: one of the most distinctively morally principled, perceptibly conscientiously hardworking, distinctly selfless; a most consummately positive MP and hardworking individual on the behalf of all of his constituents, totally irrespective of whether they voted for him or not, as it distinctively always should be; and, moreover, irrefutably one of the most astute, intellectually commonsensically, as well as evidently enlightening, and rather positively forward thinking brains, very evidently so, in the Labour Party -  who has always very obviously earnestly and assiduously, truly worked for the betterment, clearly of his fellow British citizens and the discernibly wider international community, while aptly in doing so has very unquestionably been a thoroughly ongoingly progressive figure in his undoubtedly, so beloved Labour Party; an organisation to which he had distinctly quite altruistically given so much, yet has been fatuously, contemptuously and most treacherously actually debarred from this simply same, very Labour Party!  

The actions decidedly and principally of a disingenuous, deceitful and a very effectively thoroughly dishonest back stabbing Judas more interested in his own evidently self-serving interests than any actually genuine principle one could effectively possibly or honestly name. But quite specifically in Jeremy Corbyn's case a total derogation literally, of everything that's decent and honourable; and simply so because money, and lots of it, actually matters rather significantly, to these Zionist Yids like Keir Starmer and his ilk; whether it's the actually ongoing Wiedergutmachung Compensation Scheme still very asininely rather handsomely discernibly paid out to the spurious descendants of questionable Yids exclusively, never mind in the actually least bit that there were significantly other victims of Europe's odious holocaust, and actually none of them, specifically the Gypsies that lost considerably far more of their people than the incessantly mentioned figure of allegedly six million "exclusive worthies", and significantly to this day, haven't received a single Euro or Deutschmark between them!

But, of course, this actually disingenuous victim syndrome is very good for business as well as the clear acquisition and exercise of actual corrupt political power, and equally its attendant influence, in every respect. A state of affairs obviously of which Jeremy Corbyn has always perceptibly been really evidently rather cognizant of, and as such has not only vociferously but undoubtedly likewise in every commendable fashion as the decent, honest and altruistic person that he is, assiduously striven to combat. And very obviously why these lovers of money that perceive it as their definitive God have as well, and still are, been clearly diametrically opposed to this honourable man Jeremy.

Someone, who for most of his life has in honest aversion to what has been going on, has publicly and quite unequivocally, been discernibly opposed to the evident, and unquestionably, genocidal practices vilely perpetrated against the Palestinian people, essentially within their own undeniably indigenous homeland; no different from what distinctively was practised against the Aborigines in renamed Australia!

Jeremy Corbyn has crucially campaigned and quite emphatically worked against this. So as such very effectively according to Starmer's  mantra, Jeremy Corbyn once evidently very useful like the Windrush Generation evidently, to a vaingloriously power- hungry wannabe PM of Britain, Jeremy Corbyn is discernibly similarly, and specifically superfluous now to all requirements, and evidently requisitely so as far as Keir Starmer and his odiously toxic ilk are concerned. So literally bring on the appropriately monetarily needed, rather transitory also, Conservative turncoats of Messrs John Caudwell and Jim Ratcliffe!  And with the appropriate closed door deals naturally and quite slimily effected,onwards them for this duo and others like them towards seats discernibly obviously and as well waiting in the House of Lords!