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bearsworld73 · 1 month ago

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Ethan Edwards 73

Summary - Ethan sees reader on the Jumbotron, finding her very attractive, he seeks out to find her after the game.

Pairings - EthanEdwards x UMICHstudent!reader

Warnings - Smut! P in V sex, pet name (baby) unprotected sex(reader is in birth control), a little cursing, one or two little slaps on the ass, cream pie, this is really long sorry.

A/n: 18+ however if you are 16+ that’s fine too with me, just be warned. If you want to send requests please try and send them through my Inbox! This is just so I don’t get anything mixed up and I can go in the order of first come first serve. This request was so cute and I am actually so here for it! Also no shame to @dgefhrsff for commenting under my post! I just wanted to clear the inbox thing up! Hope you enjoy!

You were in the back of Amelia’s car, while in the passenger seat beside her Olivia sings along with a Katy Perry song. You guys were heading to a hockey game, since you had never been to one. “I can’t wait to see Luca on the ice tonight. He’s in my class and he is the literal definition of adorable.” Evelyn yaps next to you.

You snort at her statement. “didn’t you guys get paired with each other for a project?” You ask her, rolling your eyes playfully as she takes her phone out, snapping a picture of herself and sending it to Luca. She wrote something on there as well, but you couldn’t catch what it said before she sent it.

“Yeah.” She replied shortly, pausing to look you up and down. “You must be trying to impress somebody, that short skirt and…” she paused, eyeing you more. “Skimpy? Crop top, is so cute!” She finished, smiling brightly at you.

You really appreciated her feedback, you weren’t too sure about your outfit tonight. You also know if it was bad she’d send you right back into the house to change into something different, even if it didn’t match the theme. “Thank-” you start, but get cut off by Amelia yelling.

“WE ARE HERE BITCHES!” Amelia yells from the top of her lungs, putting her hands in the air. You all laugh at her antics, getting out of the car to quickly get your seats. “You don’t have to yell.” Olivia scoffs playfully, Amelia blowing a kiss her way.

You all make it in the stadium, picking the closest seats to the glass. As the girls around you talk, waiting for the game to start, you watch the hockey boys warmup. “Who’s got your eye?” Amelia asks you, she as well eyeing the hockey players through the glass.

A small blush creeps across your cheeks. “I don’t know, number 73 is kind of cute.” You reply shyly. Amelia gasps dramatically, you and the two others looking at her like she’s crazy.

“Ethan Edwards is not ‘kind of’ cute, he’s one of the hottest seniors this year!” She laughs at your reaction to her dramatic effect. However, Olivia and Evelyn nod, agreeing with her statement.

You cover your face in embarrassment, looking around you to make sure nobody heard what Amelia had just said out loud. You lightly smack her arm, “You said that so loudly!” You say, trying to laugh it off.

“Yeah, yeah whatever.” She laughs, the lights in the stadium quickly dim as all of the hockey players come out excitedly. Everybody roars for Michigan as all of the boys are on the spotlight.

It’s been an hour since the game started and Michigan was winning. You and the girls were up dancing and singing to the songs coming through the speakers.

You were all having a great time when suddenly Amelia shouted. “Oh my gosh! You are on the big screen!” She yelled excitedly, pointing at you. You laughed and blew a kiss to the screen, not knowing that Ethan was watching you causing him to trip over his own skate.

You didn’t see it (thankfully for him) but the other guys most definitely gave him shit for it.

The game had ended a few hours after, the crowd excitedly cheered for their team.

Shortly after, you all went to leave, walking through the hallway. You admired the pictures of the hockey players while y’all walked through the almost empty hallway.

You were surprised when someone came up behind you, tapping on your shoulder. You turned around to see Ethan, in the flesh.

“Oh, hi!” You said, causing the girls to turn around and look in awe.

“Hey.” He said, almost like he was nervous. “I know this is strange,” he started, but continued no matter how uncomfortable this is for him. “but I saw you on the screen and I just wanted to say that you’re beautiful.” He finished, smiling as he saw the blush creep across your cheeks.

The girls gasped quietly, excusing themselves down the hall a bit further from you, while you talked to Ethan.

You looked over your shoulder quickly before returning back to his gaze. “Thank you.” You replied, your smile widening at his compliment. “It’s actually cool that you made an effort to tell me. Most guys wouldn’t.” You laughed slightly.

“Yeah I guess you’re right.” He paused looking down at your lips before looking back into your eyes. “If you want, we are having a bonfire tonight.” He trailed off. “You can come. Alone, or with your friends.” He says, his head nodding in the way your friends went.

Your eyes lit up at the request. “Yeah, I’ll talk to them.” You nod, digging your phone out of your not too big, not too small, purse. “Can I get your number? For the address?” You asked, handing him your unlocked phone.

“Yeah,” he said, typing his phone number in your phone, handing it back to you when he’s done. “really hoping to see you.” He says, smiling before walking away to his friends.

You had arrived at the bonfire Ethan was talking about with Evelyn, she didn’t want to leave you alone there and she wanted to see Luca so why not come?

You guys immediately find Ethan and the rest of the boys close to each other. Both Luca and Ethan having a drink in their hands.

“Hey! There she is!” Ethan yelled out, making your cheeks flush with pink as you walk over to where he was seated.

“It’s a bit chilly out here.” Evelyn while walking over to Luca. You, however, keep your eyes on Ethan.

“Do you mind?” You ask, gesturing to the arm chair.

“Not at all.” He smiled, raising his arm off of the arm chair as you sat sideways on it. “Glad you came.” He started.

“Yeah, she wanted to come see Luca. Hope that’s okay?” You reply, looking slightly down at him.

“Yeah it’s fine.” He nods, pausing as he looks at the chills on your arm. “You cold?” He asks shortly.

You nod. “A little. I forgot my jacket in the car. It’s fine though I can tolerate it.” You say shrugging, a confused expression forming on your face as he shakes his head.

“C’mon let’s go inside. It’s warmer, quieter in there.” He suggests, patting you on your lower back.

You giggle slightly, nodding while standing from your place on the chair. “Okay.”

You don’t know how you ended up in a bedroom, alone with Ethan but you did. “I thought we were going to get drinks.” You stated, looking out the window.

“Yeah well it’s also warmer in here, it’ll get colder down there when they keep coming in and out.” He replies smoothly.

You purse your lips. “Ah.” You say in a playful sarcasm. “Is this what you do with all of the girls you hookup with?” You ask, walking over and sitting at the edge of the bed.

“Who said you’re a hookup?” He says in a smartass tone.

“I did.”

“Well you’re not.” He chuckles, walking over to you. You’re eye level to his crotch as he stands in front of you. “You may be if you keep looking up at me like that though.”

“What else should I look at then?” You ask, batting your eyelashes at him playfully.

“You don’t want to be a hookup?” He asks, his eyebrow rising.

“I’d rather be more than a hookup. Maybe a friend’s with benefits sort of situation.”

He hums, tapping his finger on his chin, smirking as you laugh up at him. “I have a better idea but I guess we can start there.” He say, grabbing your chin in between his thumb and pointer finger.

You stare up at him as if you’re innocent. “I’m curious about this better idea that you have.” You reply, licking your lips as he lowers himself to be face to face with you. He hums, caressing your cheek.

“Would you like me to ask now or after?” He asks, wiggling his eyebrows in a playful manner. You laugh at his antics, shrugging as you feel him get closer to you.

“In your opinion, would it be better to wait or to not?” You hum, tapping your finger on your chin as if you were thinking.

Ethan, licks his lips as he looks away for a second, only for his eyes to be brought back to yours. “In my opinion it doesn’t matter, but your opinion may differ.” He replies, looking away for another second. “You sure you want to do this tonight?”

“It’s gonna happen eventually isn’t it?” You reply, cocking your head a little as your lips are so close together.

“Guess you’re right.” He says before closing the space between you two.

You hum in the kiss as he moves you to lay on the bed, his hands immediately finding the strap to your crop top. As he is pulling the fabric off your shoulders, moving his lips along the side of your jaw. Your hands find the hem of his shirt, tugging in despair. He chuckles, gripping your breasts as he shows each one of them the right amount of attention. You throw your head back in pleasure as he sucks on your nipples. “Ethan” his name flies out your mouth as you pant out little pleas.

He stops what he’s doing, looking up at you. “What do you need baby?” He groans as you run your fingers through his hair.

You whine as he plays with the top of your skirt. “You. Want you Eddy.” You pant out, he smirks up at you.

“I never knew you to be so needy.” He says before tugging your skirt and blue lace thong down in one go. His eyes open wider as if he’s looking at the most gorgeous thing ever (he is). “So wet f’me already.” He hums while running a finger through your slick folds. You whine in protest, bucking your hips up as he slides two fingers into you.

“Ethan I meant you, not your fingers.” You manage to speak up before he curls his fingers to your g-spot, making you squeal. He looks up at you, shaking his head.

“Gotta get you prepared first sweetheart.” He says before speeding up the pace of his fingers, driving them into you deeper. Your cunt drenching his hand as you come close to your climax. You open your mouth to warn him but you can’t get anything out before you’re clenching so hard onto his fingers. He slowly pulls his long digits out of your soaked core, chuckling silently.

You gasp as you come down from your high, raising your head to look at him. He takes his fingers into his mouth with a smirk on his face, swirling his tongue around your juices that was left on his fingers. His eyes never leaving yours.

“You ready?” He asks as he unzips his pants, pulling both his pants and boxers down to the floor. His cock springs up, touching his belly button. You whine, your face flushing.

“Is it gonna fit?” You ask, bitting on your bottom lip. He chuckles, tapping the head of his cock on your clit. “Yes baby, I’ll make it fit.”

With that he slowly slides into you, your pussy stretching out slowly as you take him all in. He groans as he reaches balls deep into you. You moan at the stretch, chest rising and falling quickly as you get yourself a little too worked up.

He shushes you when you whine from him pulling almost all the way out then slamming back into you.

Soon, he is moving at a faster pace, your moans getting louder, the bed bellow you creaking, pussy squelching at the fast movements. “Yes Eddy, right there!” You moan out as the tip of his cock touches your sensitive spot.

You feel the knot forming in your tummy, gasping as you place your hand on his abdomen in effort to get him to slow down. “I’m gonna-” you start but get cut off with a loud moan as he places his thumb right on your sensitive nub.

“C’mon baby, let it go for me.” He grunts out, slapping your ass with so much force it’s gonna be red tomorrow. With that you come the hardest you’ve ever came. Tears streaming down your face at the overstimulation. “Where do you want me?” He quickly blurts out as he gets closer.

You cry out, wrapping your legs around his waist when you can’t answer. “O-on the -p-pill.” You manage to get out, he nods pushing his cock as far as it can go in your swollen cunt, finishing in you with a moan. You feel his thick strings coat the inside of your pussy.

Both of you are catching your breaths when he pulls out of you, you of course whining at the loss of contact. “Hold on baby let’s get you clean up.” He states, grabbing his shirt off of the floor and cleaning you with it.

He picks you up, moving the bedsheets, placing you down, then covering your body with the bedsheets. He climbs into the other side with you, pulling you close to him. Slapping your ass a little lighter than he did earlier.

You jump at the action, giggling into his chest. “Prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. I basically fell in love with you when I saw you tonight on that screen.” You look up at him, tracing his arm with your fingertips. “I might’ve been looking at you out there on this ice too. Think I might’ve fallen in love too.” You reply, pressing your lips against his jaw.

“Will you go out on a date with me?” He asks, looking almost nervous as he asks the question.

You laugh. “Ethan I will be your girlfriend right here right now, but yes a date would also be nice.” Your eyes sparkling as you look up at him.

“Hell yeah.”

Hope you liked! It’s super long so i am super sorry.

#ethan edwards #ethan edwards x reader #Ethan Edwards smut #umich hockey #umich boys #hockey #hockey imagine #hockey fanfiction #hockey smut #oneshot #bears request!#smut

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11queensupreme11 · 1 year ago

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We already have the Percy baby au but are we also in that same au "The biggest custody battle ever"?

We start with the normal baby Percy, where instead of a teenage Percy we have a baby Percy, but this au is also a mix of the pregnant Loki au

In the PJ universe, Sally got pregnant and gave birth to Percy normally and since Percy is Poseidon's only daughter she gives her a little attention and affection, but during the night baby Percy is taken across the magic bridge, I forgot the name sorry) to the ror universe and reappears in loki's womb exactly the same way it happens in pregnant loki au

By then we all know what happens so I'm going to skip the part where the Norse and Greek family get attached and start to love baby Percya, my interesting idea comes after this

Meanwhile, in the ror universe, Loki gives birth to baby Percy, who during the gestation period became a deity, I will explain more about this concept below:

for the divining of baby Percy I am based on two myths the birth of Dionysus and the creation of the Milky Way, in the first myth it is said that after showing his real divine form to one of his lovers it is pulverized leaving it in the dust only the baby she was pregnant with and to avoid the death of the fetus Zeus opened a slit in her thigh where he placed it until birth and because he was generated for three months in a divine body when he was born he already possessed divinity, In the myth of the Milky Way, Ivy is tricked by the Antenna into breastfeeding Hercules, but he suckled with such force that he hurt the goddess's chest, who with a scream moved away and ended up spilling her divine milk towards the sky, ending up like this for creating the Milky Way

Percy had already been born when she was transposed into the Ror universe, but as she didn't yet have the Achilles curse, her little body would disintegrate, so to prevent this from happening, Bifrost placed Percy in Loki's womb (I can't think of a specific reason, maybe he was just the closest compatible person at the time? I kind of like to think that Bifrost is conscious and chose Loki thinking about his compatibility with Percy)

for being generated for another nine months (or less) in a divine womb, Percy's humanity was being consumed by Loki's divine power (imagine red paint and white paint, a small portion of the two was mixed which resulted in a pinkish tone, Now imagine that this same pink tone for months received small amounts of a new shade of red, the shade of pink that was once a perfect balance between red and white has now become a new shade of red, you and I know that this shade before it was pink but anyone looking at it now would be unable to know that as the pink/white tone has been diluted to the point where it almost doesn't exist; this is exactly what happened to Percy's human genes, they were consumed and eventually erased by the genes loki's divine genes until all that was left were ror poseidon's also divine genes)

In some myths it is said that a large part of Hercules' strength comes from the fact that he was suckled by the divine milk of Hera (who had the strongest milk among all the goddesses), so drinking Loki's divine milk would be the final nail in the coffin to kill Baby Percy's humanity (mainly because Loki spent several months breastfeeding Baby Percy, unlike Baby Hercules who was only breastfed once by Hera)

Meanwhile in the PJ universe the gods finally discovered where baby Percy went and how to get her back, Poseidon tells Sally that he is going to get their baby and after much imputation on Sally's part he agrees to take her along, the two of the other Greek gods use the Bifrost of their universe to reach the ror universe

That's when all the shit happens:

With an explosion of light from the Bifrost, the PJ Greek gods, enter the ROR universe and meet their ROR counterparts.the first thing Sally sees is baby Percy and she screams for her baby and that's what breaks everyone out of their trance, Loki is obviously offended as a random human screams that it's his baby's hand, pj Poseidon holds her arm stopping her to run towards Loki

The ror gods are exuding a huge murderous aura, especially Poseidon and Loki, so PJ Zeus begins to explain that they are from another world and that in fact Baby Percy is the son of PJ Poseidon

OBVIOUSLY the ror gods do not accept this explanation and a huge fight ensues, the ror gods and the PJ gods are arguing about which of them has the right to the child, and then someone (probably ror Eris) proposes to decide this in a divine court/judgment, the PJ gods argue that ror Zeus will be partial to his brother so everyone decides to bring in another Zeus from another dimension (maybe the Zeus from "BLOD OF ZEUS")

The entire trial would be a much more violent version of that biblical tale where King Solomon had to judge which of the two women was telling the truth about being the real mother of the living baby and which of them was lying and was actually the mother of the dead baby

The PJ gods argue that Percy's biological parents are Sally and Poseidon since it was his seed that impregnated Sally and it was she who originated, carried, cared for and breastfed Percy until she was kidnapped from her crib and taken to this world

The ror gods argue that they are also Percy's biological parents since Loki also carried, cared for and breastfed Percy, they also emphasize that Percy is a complete God and not a demigod therefore it would be impossible for Sally to give Percy the necessary care

Of course, the Norse ror gods also enter the discussion, I argue that if Bifrost chose the ror gods as parents, it is because he judged that the PCs would be incapable of properly raising the child, Grandpa Odin is not willing to let anyone take away his granddaughter. of the family and Uncle Thor (who will be a secret romantic yandere hahaha) won't let anyone take his niece (and future wife) out of his reach

This arouses the interest of PJ Zeus, who now really wants to take Baby Percy back (maybe he will also discover that Percy is essential to the future survival of Olympus) PJ Poseidon argues that he will take Sally and Baby Percy to live in Atlantica

which is countered by ror poseidon who points out that the tides over PJ Poseidon's domain are tainted and who asks why he didn't take Percy to live with him sooner (think that before the trial boz Zeus analyzed each of the worlds and how were the conditions of the parents)

I just imagine Sally crying and begging them to give her baby back, PJ Zeus says that if they want a child so much, just ror poseidon and loki make one instead of stealing one from a pair of worried parents

of course the ror gods are being supported by the other ror pantheon, everyone fears and hates Poseidon and Loki but they still love baby percy who is so cute and charismatic always trying to pull her hair and smiling whenever she is held by someone

Loki is not moved by Sally's crying and absolutely denies that anyone other than him has the title of Percy's mother, Ror Poseidon seems to me like those men who find it disgusting to create someone who has no biological ties to you but the way he is a hypocrite he will probably become the number one defender of that saying "father is the one who takes care"

Meanwhile baby Percy is being held by boz Zeus who is in the judge's place, she doesn't even have the mental capacity to understand what is happening so while the tension and the desire to kill grows she is playing with some toy until she feels hungry, at that moment she cries and boz Hera says that she is probably hungry and at that moment both Sally and Loki get up with the intention of going to Percy to breastfeed her

This is the breaking point because after seeing Sally get up Loki tries to attack her, the PJ gods defend her and in the end they all decide to determine custody in a battle to the death, so now years before Ragnarok the gods are organizing the coliseum to carry out the greatest battle that has ever happened, God against God with only one objective: to have custody of baby Percy

This conflict is so big and violent that it makes all the confusion that generated the Trojan War seem like child's play, baby Percy is literally the new golden apple that started a war between worlds, in the background the PJ and Ror Éris are wondering if MAYBE Baby Percy isn't actually a descendant of one of them

honestly it's very difficult to write an idea and in my head it had much more detail, I can't even imagine how exhausting it must be for you to write a fanfic, you DEFINITELY have my respect I would also love it if you could present how you think the ror poseidon would react, I tried but trying to write about him seemed impossible, and thank you so much for that comment you wrote about how I should be a dark romance writer, it inspired me and I'm really going to start organizing myself to start writing and post on my tumblr 😘😘😘)

first off, this was so beautifully written, i was entertained by every word you typed 😭 you are very big brained 🧠

i can just imagine, as an act of desperation, maybe one of the pjo!gods would (zeus??) would mention the great prophecy and how percy, as one of the children of the big three, would be a strong contender for being the prophecy child that could save/raze olympus

but that would be a huuuuuuuuge mistake to mention because that would just make the ror gods pissed 💀 they're essentially asking for percy back just so they could use her, plus, none of the ror!gods would give a shit if the pjo universe was in danger, they'd be happy if they were all to die

either way, i definitely see the poseidons having a whole cat fight in the middle of the court. idk, maybe one of them tried to teach percy how to say 'dada' and the other one just lost his shit 😂 as for sally, poor woman's gonna need to be guarded 24/7 cuz she's in the BIGGEST danger in here. not only is she human, but she's claiming to be percy's mother, i definitely see some gods trying to assassinate her when the chance comes

#👸🏻| asks #👸🏻| arsenic blues

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seyaryminamoto · 1 year ago

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If Ozai hates the very thought of his father so much, how was he able to handle his very own daughter being named after the man?? Did he ever truly love Azula? Did he ever truly love Zuko? And does he truly hate Azula now?

:'D that will be explained in due time through flashbacks...

... I do believe I've said before that it's VERY difficult to say that Ozai has loved someone. Even himself. He's a narcissist who hates himself anyhow. Basically, he believes that all the difficulties he has faced are someone else's fault and responsibility, not his own, that he deserves everything he wants because he's selfish and greedy that way... but he hates himself for a fair few reasons anyhow. So I wouldn't even say he loves himself :'D

Hence, saying he loves Azula is just... complicated as hell to argue for. I've said before that the person he came closest to fully loving was Ursa, and he still didn't pull it off... and his feelings for Azula basically came close to that, but he's waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too fucked up to love her properly.

This being said...

Ozai in the flashbacks, as a lot of you may have guessed by now, is meant to explain how he wound up in the position he's in right now. How a guy who actually resembled Zuko soooo much becomes... well, the very fucked up Fire Lord who ruined his daughter's life and hasn't ever said he's sorry for it because destroying her life was apparently not as unforgivable a crime as Azula's terrible crime of... loving someone. Yep.

So, the flashbacks of Azula's birth will show us an Ozai who bonds far faster with her than he ever could with Zuko. His insecurities got in the way with Zuko, as we've seen already, and then Zuko's nature didn't help matters much, so they were kind of incompatible... but it's fair to say that Ozai tried, as you'll see in the next flashback, which is another of my favorites, actually. His attempts, however, weren't all that successful before Azula was born... and after Azula is born, his brain kind of shortcircuits and Zuko falls 100% to the wayside because This One is the kid he likes.

Azula's name being based on Azulon's is, in fact, a power play by Ozai. One he basically uses to flaunt that his child is, in fact, superior to his own father. You'll see what this means when we get there... but it's an insult just as much as it is a compliment, which means that Ozai actually put Azulon in a VERY uncomfortable position, for the first time in his life... through Azula. Through her name.

The way this flows results in Ozai not really caring, in the end, that he named his daughter after his piece of shit of a father (at least, that doesn't really matter to him through the bulk of her life). He distinguishes enough between them to not associate Azula inherently with his father because why would he? Azula validates him, she boosted his ego because he gave life to an extraordinary child, going against all of Azulon's hopes and expectations that his marriage would be a failure. Meanwhile? Azulon was only ever the person who wore him out, tore him down and made him think he was worthless. Therefore, his bond with each of them is veeeery different. Azula just means way too much to Ozai all on her own, even as a wee little baby, for Ozai to connect Azula to his father all that much. Doesn't help that Azulon actually wanted nothing to do with Azula or Zuko, so it's not like Ozai had to worry about Azula and Azulon having some important connection/dynamic... nah. Old geezer would have traded Zuko and Azula's lives for Lu Ten's in a heartbeat. Don't doubt it.

As for Zuko... yeah I can say for certain that Ozai does not love Zuko. He wanted to be a good dad at first! He tried! But then he stopped trying. He gave up on that bond once he found it so much easier to bond with Azula, especially when Azula turned out to be the gifted child she was. Zuko didn't spend all his life fighting to earn Ozai's love non-stop for no reason: he didn't have it. He KNEW he didn't. Ozai never offered it to him. And while you could argue that in a super deep subconscious way, MAYBE Ozai cared about Zuko because ultimately, he has projected his personal failings as a human being on Zuko, and if he actually bothered to treat his son right, he'd realize he's inflicting the exact same suffering on him that Azulon inflicted on himself...?

But the truth is that he hasn't gone through that thought process at all. Hence, any buried feelings he might have for his son are so damn lost in the chaos of his soul that they're basically non-existent.

As for whether Ozai hates Azula now or not...?

... Honestly? He doesn't.

Problem is, he doesn't realize he doesn't.

Call this the worst possible kind of parental punishment on a child, completely uncalled for, completely disproportionate, absolutely unacceptable... but it genuinely comes from a place that Ozai doesn't want to acknowledge: he feels hurt. Her choices have hurt him.

Azula broke away from everything he believes in, everything his legacy is about. He doesn't like that. He wants Azula to remain his perfect heir, his legacy, to honor every stupid idea he ever had about what her fate would be. Any attempts by Azula to break free from that make Ozai react VERY adversely. But ultimately? He doesn't hate Azula. He can't. It's about as impossible for him as hating Ursa. The concept of hating either of them is just... beyond him. He CAN get mad at them, he can be a dick to them... but he cannot ever fathom hating either of them, not for real.

... He hates Sokka though. I can assure you of that one :') as far as he can tell, Sokka is the instigator, culprit, guilty party behind his daughter's "corruption", so basically, if you're wondering if his rage from Part 2's finale resulted in Ozai despising Azula? Nah, he took all that hatred and channeled it towards Sokka alone. He throws tantrums of the "I'm disappointed in you, young lady" kind in the most gruesome way he could, sure... But he doesn't hate Azula. He's able to hate ANYONE, but not Azula, not Ursa. Those two are the only people in the world he would actually get off his ass for, aside from himself :'D

#anon #gladiator spoilers #kinda?#talking about flashbacks a bit but you know #anyway #Ozai is a can of worms #a can of worms with a VERY pretty design #so sophisticated #so appealing #but just you wait #open it and you'll be screaming for your life #the man is a menace never forget that anon

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plumppushu · 11 months ago

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I am not the kind of person who goes into personal stuff but… 2023 deserve a special note.

This year, I lost my older brother Yves. It was unexpected and it crushed my soul into million pieces. It was not the first sibling I lost but this time it did hit different… Michele, my older sister, died of cancer in June 2017. She had, for over a decade, cut contact with my dad for reasons that I can understand as an adult (and at the same time, me and my closest brother as we were kind of collateral damage). Yet the fact is she did and when she passed away I hadn’t seen her since she went no contact it was painful but still felt kind of an open door that will never close because there was (and still is) no closure… but my older brother, it was not the same.

I was not super close with him (distance between 2 provinces made things a bit difficult) but I was close enough to feel like my soul had been ripped from my body. That my heart was shredded into thousand pieces and that I had to go on with life knowing that he was gone and that I was still expected to be functional, to move on, to be a responsible adult.

8 months have passed and I am still not okay. I still grieve. I grieved and cried for Michele, the sister I grew up with and for Yves that I met in 2008, when he was finally ready to meet his biological family and more importantly his dad. Because back in the 1960’s it was impossible for my dad to have custody, because in the 1960’s, he was given to adoption and laws were different and well… things have changed now. Hoping that the path he was forced to take will never happen to any kids ever again. The sad part is it happened, he did his very best in life but it came to an end in April this year. And I am still so very angry that it came to pass, that he died and that I am bereft of my older brother.

We can say that life isn’t fair and all of that shit but I don’t care. I lost my older brother and I am still so sad that I I can’t properly deal with my pain.

Now. Here I am, with only one sibling left, feeling raw and still unsure of where things will go in 2024 and beyond. There is still so much regret, so much pain, so many things I should have done for myself that I did not in 2023 but it’s too late to go back and try to fix what you cannot. Too late and yet… the only thing left to do for me, for my dad, for my only sibling left… is to move forward. As hard as it is, there is no other issue or solution for us. My older brother is gone and nothing I can do will ever change that fact. I can scream into the void, bang at the Fates’ door and voiced out loud how unfair life is, how it is cruel for his own sons he is leaving behind, for my father who has to bury his second child, for my brother who has to go through a second time that one of his dear sibling has passed away. Loss is an unfair and cruel thing to deal with and sometimes unavoidable.

Here we are, close to the new year and yet, I wish I could go back to January 2023, when my older brother was still alive, when I gave him my last hug, when we missed each other’s calls and laughed about it and made plans to see each other when I would be back to my birth province. When he was still there, still traveling, still very much alive.

But I cannot. And I grieve. And i am not okay.

My life is moving on into 2024, with my own projects and goals and what I have left of my family and trying to heal and get better. It might be the year that will bring change to my life again but whatever pain it will bring, nothing will compare to 2023. Not for me anyways. Grief is a terrible thing to feel and it does not heal or go away no matter how hard we try and how much time will pass.

In 2017, the dying wish of my older sister Michele was that I would continue and make art. I did my BAC in comic books (and it was the best 3 years of my life) and grief made me stop creating and crushed my soul from doing anything artistic for over 5 years (last thing I did was a fanart online of Voltron, a fanzine that helped me for the first 10 days of my overwhelming grief) and did not do anything since. I moved one province over and never touched my drawing pad or did any fanart or OCs. Zero art at all. Now that I am still hurt, that I am still raw, still screaming my loss into the void, maybe I should start 2024 with Michele’s dying wish and channel my brother Yves’s grief with art. I think that would help my overwhelming grief to be channeled somewhere and turn my pain into something visual and to finally start healing my wounded soul.

I am not okay. But maybe I could try and work on making myself heal again? To live again? To at least make sure that both my siblings, through my art, can be alive again and maybe I could heal, tiny bit by tiny bit, and honor them by creating things that would make them proud?

2023 was probably the most painful year of my life but if I grow from this bad year then there could be something to learn from this sad part of my existence.

For those who are still living with sadness at the end of this year, you are not alone. Your feelings are valid, no matter how many months, years, decades it has been. Grief does not care about the passing of time. Life forces us to continue along the flow of our daily life and the world continue to turn, unaware of our deep pain.

But.

For some of us… life pause for an instant.

It stops and we cry and wail to an uncaring sky that continue to turn round and round, day and night.

It goes on for all the rest of the world that are nor aware we are screaming at the uncaring doors of death, trying to keep our loved ones close to us for just one more day, one more hour, one more minute.

And yet it is too late for us, for them, for it has passed and we are helpless to stop the sun to dawn on another day without our dear departed one that has left this world.

I lost my brother in April. I still grieve. And no matter how many months it has been I am still at death’s doors, banging, screaming, pleading for him to come back and to talk to me once more, to say “I love you” to his sons, to talk to my dad, to call me…to leave me a message on my phone so I can listen to his voice once more so I can never forget the sound of it, how it was filled with unsaid feelings of kindness and compassion.

I am still grieving. But I hope from the bottom of my heart that 2024 will help me heal from this deep and overwhelming pain i have in my soul.

********

May 2024 be soft and kind to anyone who are still in pain. Your grief is valid. Your pain is real but also reflect the deep love you have inside of you. And from one deeply wounded soul to another, may love and kindness come to you and heal your wounds with their compassion.

#tw #tw: sibling loss #tw: death #sibling loss #tw: grief #grief #there are some things I cannot share on my main social platform #I am venting my grief #I am venting my pain #if I could go back to 2023 I would give half of my lifespan and at least 2 of my main organs for it #dealing with grief #still screaming into the void #might delete later #some things cannot be shared with my loved ones for I would cause them pain #and I care too much about them to hurt them more #no hard feelings between me and my loved ones #just a deep desire for them to heal and to be better

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leossmoonn · 4 years ago

Text

Dear Y/n

masterlist

pairing - carl gallagher x fem!reader

type - fluff

note / request - “OMFG FINALLY SOMEONE WRITES FOR RECENT CARL GALLAGHER. Can we get one where the reader is Kev and V’s daughter so they grew up together. And maybe Carl is her secret admirer” so i made debbie and you seniors and carl a junior since he is technically a year younger than debbie. so let’s pretend that debbie stayed in school and carl never went to military school lol, just for the sake of this imagine. enjoy!

summary - you find a note in your locker from a secret admirer and try to figure it out who is your secret admirer

warnings - language

————

*gif isn't mine*

“Hey, girl!” Debbie exclaimed. You looked up from your phone, smiling as you spotted your friend.

“Hey,” you smiled while walking up to her. Your attention when to Franny, who was sitting in her stroller. You crouched down and smiled at the baby.

“Hi, baby. How are you? Do you like going to school with Mommy? You know, some day you’ll be going to school. I’ll be an adult and with kids, too!” You babbled to the baby. Franny squealed and held her hands up to you. You giggled, bopping her nose before going up back to talk to Debbie.

“You’re really good with her,” Debbie complimented.

“Thanks, kids kinda like me,” you giggled.

Debbie rolled her eyes, “Yeah, we know. Anyways, can we hang at your house?”

You two started walking to your guys’s lockers. “Sure. I have to babysit Jems and Ames, though. Mom and Dad don’t get off work until like, midnight.”

Debbie nodded. “Franny can play with them.”

“Sounds good,” you nodded. You unlocked your locker, a piece of paper falling out.

“What’s that?” Debbie asked.

“I don't know,” you muttered, furrowing your brows. You picked up the paper, unfolding it. Your eyes widened as you saw its contents. It read:

Dear Y/n,

I thought your outfit looked really good. Not that your outfits don’t always look good, but today’s my favorite. I really like your jeans and your red shirt. Red really looks good with your eyes.

From,

Secret Admirer

Debbie read the note with you, laughing as she got to the end. “You have a secret admirer!”

You smiled, “Yeah. This is cute. I wonder who it’s from.”

“Maybe it’s from Dean Kepner,” Debbie said, nudging your shoulder teasingly.

You rolled your eyes, “That is the funniest shit I have ever heard.”

“Well, what if it is! I noticed him staring at your shirt today,” Debbie said.

You scoffed, “Yeah, more like staring at my tits. This note said nothing about my tits. It’s probably not him. Plus, I’m pretty sure Dean can’t make compound sentences. He’s worse at speaking than Ames and Jems, and they’re 3 years old.

Debbie chuckled, “True. Well, we should try to figure it out.”

“Eh. It's probably some jackass who wants to get in my head, and then embarrass me because I thought someone liked me,” you said.

“Be more optimistic!” Debbie exclaimed.

“Hm, I will if I get a second note. Let’s go, Jems and Ames are expecting me to pick them up from daycare,” you said. You grabbed a few textbooks and shut your locker. “Is Carl coming home with us?” You asked.

“I think so,” Debbie said. “Alright. Where is he?” You asked.

“Probably making out with some slut in the bathrooms,” Debbie said.

“Probably,” you snorted.

You and Debbie walked to the nearest bathroom, peeking behind the corner to see if you could hear any noise. Surprisingly, it was quiet.

“What are you guys doing?”

You both jumped, turning around and seeing a confused Carl behind you.

Carl was Debbie’s little brother. They were both Gallagher’s. They were children of the alcoholic and drug addict Frank and Monica. They lived on the South Side of Chicago, which was where you also lived.

You were Y/n Ball. Daughter of Veronica Fisher and Kevin Ball. You had lived next to the Gallagher’s all your life. You were their best friend. Well, their only best friend, really. Your mom and their older sister, Fiona, had been friends since forever. You had been born around the same time as Debbie, who was the third oldest out of the 6 Gallagher children, so you two have been basically best friends since birth. Carl was also one of the Gallagher kids you were also the close with, too, him being just a year younger than you. You three had basically grown up together, so being best friends was pretty natural.

“We were seeing if you were fucking anyone,” Debbie answered.

Carl scrunched his face up in disgust. “I don’t do that.”

You laughed, “Sure you don’t. C’mon, C-Dog, I gotta pick up the little missies.”

“Alright, Y/n/n,” Carl smiled at the nickname you had given him ever since you two had gotten closer.

You two hadn’t always been close before. Debbie and you were by far the closest, with being in the same grade and all. You and Carl hung out a lot, but it wasn’t really until he started high school when you two actually hung out one-on-one. He had come to you for relationship advice when he was dating this one girl, Dominique, who turned out to be a horrible person. You two have since bonded about your past, failed relationships, and how shitty life is.

Since getting closer with him, you had kind of developed a little crush on him. He had always been cute, but when puberty hit him, he became really hot, really quick. You never showed any other feelings for him than platonic, though. You didn’t want to deal with all the drama that it would bring between you and your families.

“Stop eye-fucking each other, please,” Debbie groaned, walking away from you two.

You rolled your eyes, “Like you should talk. Every guy you meet you imagine sleeping with them.”

“Not true!” Debbie defended herself.

“Yeah, right. That’s why you have a baby,” Carl joked.

“You guys are so mean,” Debbie muttered.

“That one was pretty mean, but at least it didn’t come from me,” you smiled.

“Yeah, it came from the asshole who got circumcised for a girl,” Debbie laughed.

You laughed with her, Carl rolling his eyes and blushing. He looked to you and noticed a piece of paper peeking out from your jeans.

“What's that?” He asked and pointed.

“Oh, it’s a note that someone gave me,” you said. You took it out and gave it to Carl. He opened it and read it.

“This is nice,” he said.

“Yeah, it’s pretty cute,” you agreed. He handed you the note back. “Who do you think it is?”

“I don’t know, honestly. I’m kind of thinking it’s a joke, so I wanna wait till I get another one,” you said, folding it back into your pocket.

“I think it’s Dean Kepner,” Debbie stated. You rolled your eyes, “Yeah, you're the only one.”

“Is that the popular football guy? In your grade?” Carl asked.

“Yep. He’s so hot,” Debbie sighed dreamily.

“I don’t think so,” you stated.

Carl looked at you and nodded. “Yeah, I heard he does hard drugs.”

“Yeah, another reason why I don’t fuck with him. I mean, I have a beer every other night, but never am I gonna do drugs. That shit messes you up,” you sighed.

“Yeah, we know. We had Monica as our mother,” Debbie said.

You chuckled, walking over to your car. You got in the driver seat, Carl sitting in the passengers. Debbie usually sat there, but since she has a baby, you told her it wasn’t safe to put Franny in the passenger seat, especially since if the even of an accident, the airbag goes off and hurts Franny.

You drove to daycare, humming songs from the radio while doing so. While you were driving, Carl couldn’t help but stare between your face and the note in your pocket. You didn’t know, but the person who wrote you the note was him.

Carl was usually pretty confident and outgoing. All of his family like that. You had to do that to survive the South Side. But when it came to you, he was like jello. He didn’t know how to act, speak, whether he could look at you two seconds longer than normal. You never noticed his behaviour change, though. To you, he was always quiet and low-key. He was thankful that he never questioned why he was so quiet around you, especially since he was a loud, annoying kid when he was younger.

With these notes, he would be able to say what he was afraid to say to your face. He didn’t want to face rejection, especially by the pretty senior girl that had lived next to him since the day he was born. It would be awkward if you did reject him, so he just kept quiet until maybe he worked up the courage to ask you out depending on wether you liked the notes or not.

You parked in a handicap parking spot. “Alright, one of you wanna go and help me get Ames and Jems?” You asked.

“Carl, can you do it, I wanna stay with Franny,” Debbie said.

“Yeah, sure,” Carl nodded. He got out of the car with you, walking into the daycare.

You walked up to front desk. “Hi, I’m here for Amy and Jemma Ball. I'm their older sister, Y/n,” you said.

“Alright, can I see ID?” The woman asked.

You nodded and got your wallet out of your back pocket. You handed her your ID. She handed it back to you.

“Alright, go ahead and head in,” she said.

“Thank you,” you smiled.

She hummed a ‘you’re welcome’ as you and Carl went into the play room.

“Why do you have to give her your ID?” Carl asked.

“I think it’s because she’s new, and also I didn’t drop them off this morning. They wanna make sure no one kidnaps children,” you explained.

Carl nodded. “Ah, makes sense.”

“Yeah, the usual woman here, Julie, moved to Florida. She always gave me and the girls a mint when we left, and never asked for my ID,” you said.

“Wow, she sounds cool,” Carl said.

“Yep, she was,” you smiled.

You walked into the room, spotting Jemma and Amy immediately. They spotted you two, smiling and running up to you.

“Hi, babes!” You exclaimed, crouching down and catching them in your arms.

“Hi, Y/n!” They both squealed.

“Ready to go home?” You asked.

They both nodded.

“Alright. Let me go get your stuff, hang out with Uncle Carl for a few minutes, okay?” You said.

“Okay,” Jemma said.

You walked over to their cubby, grabbing their baby bags. You went back over to Carl, taking a hold of both of the girls’s hands.

“Let’s go, babes,” you said.

“I’m hungry!” Amy exclaimed.

“I’ll get you a snack when we get home, alright?” You asked.

Amy nodded, smiling excitedly. You smiled at her, looking up to see Carl opening the door for you.

“Thanks,” you smiled at him.

“No problem,” he nodded and followed behind you. You put the girls in the backseat with Debbie, unloading their bags in the trunk. You got in the front seat, starting the car.

“Do you want to be dropped off at your house or stay with us at my place?” You asked Carl.

“I'll hang with you guys,” Carl said.

You nodded, “Sounds good.”

You drove back home, parking the car on the side. You unlocked the front door, immediately dropping all the bags you had. You slumped on the couch, taking a breather.

“Can we have a snack?” Jemma asked.

“Oh, yeah, right,” you said, getting up. “You guys want some fruit snacks?” “Yeah!” Amy exclaimed.

You nodded, going to the pantry and getting two packs of fruit snacks for each of them. You led them back to the couch, turning on the tv.

“Watch TV with Franny, okay? Sissy has to do homework,” you said.

The twins nodded, looking at Paw Patrol, which was what was playing. You went to the kitchen table, unloading your backpack.

“You’re really good at taking care of them,” Carl said, sitting next to you.

You smiled, “Thanks. Mom and Dad do a lot, but since they are a little older and so am I, they let me have more responsibility. They have to work and stuff to make sure we can afford everything. I’d like to say I’m an expert at taking care of Amy and Jemma.”

Carl chuckled, “Yeah, I couldn’t imagine taking care of a kid.”

“Well, you have been taking care of Liam since he was born, right?” You asked.

Carl shrugged, “I guess.”

“Taking care of kids is easy if you like them,” you shrugged.

“Makes sense,” he said.

You hummed.

“So, are you waiting for another note?” Carl asked.

“Hm, kind of, yeah. I would be lying if I didn’t say I hoped this will turn into some cute, romantic love story with someone,” you chuckled.

Carl blushed a little, focusing on his own homework. “Yeah, that’d be nice.

————

“Yeah, Mom, I got it. No problem, see you later,” you said, hanging up the call. You sighed, walking slowly to your locker.

Your mom had just called you to come to the Alibi to help out since business was buzzing. Word was, Frank was up to one of his schemes again and got the Alibi full and drunk. You couldn’t wait to deal with perky, 50 year-old men catcalling you. You were wearing a sweatshirt, too, which you knew would make it worse since the men always would try to have you take it off, and never stopped pushing. Luckily, you had pepper spray with you at all times so if someone ever got too much, you wouldn’t hesitate to spray them.

You opened your locker, putting away a few binders when you noticed another note. You grabbed it, unfolding it with a hint of excitement. You would be lying if you said you hadn't been looking forward to this all day.

You opened the note, smiling widely as its contents.

Dear Y/n,

Your makeup looks amazing today. You’re really talented with the eyeliner and stuff. Oh, and your lipstick matches really well with your outfit, too.

From, Secret Admirer

“Another note, huh?” Debbie said, approaching you.

You smiled and nodded. “Yep.”

“What's that?” Carl asked.

“Another note from Y/n’s admirer,” Debbie smiled.

Carl flushed a little. “Oh.”

“Yeah,” you smiled. “I hope this is for real. I want to meet this person.”

“Maybe you will,” Carl said. You looked to him, a worried expression settling on your face.

“You okay, C-Dog?” You asked.

“Yeah. I’m gonna catch the bus. See you guys later,” he said, walking off quickly.

You furrowed your brows. “What's got his dick in a twist?”

“I have no idea. Maybe he likes you,” Debbie smirked.

Your heart fluttered a little at the thought of him liking you. Debbie knew you liked Carl, so maybe she was fucking with you, but you had to ask to be sure.

“Does he?”

“I think,” Debbie said.

“Oh,” you muttered. “Cool,” you smiled.

You weren’t going to confront him just yet, but you prayed to God your secret admirer was Carl.

————

“Hey, there’s something for you in the mail,” Veronica said.

You furrowed your brows. “Who’s it from?”

“It doesn’t have a name,” Veronica said, hanging you an envelope. “It just has your name on it.”

“Huh,” you said, taking the envelope. You tore it open, your eyes widening as you saw another note it in.

“What is it?” Kevin asked.

“A note,” you said. “From my secret admirer.”

“You have a secret admirer! Wow,” Kevin said.

“Yeah,” you chuckled. You sat on the couch, opening the note.

Dear Y/n,

I thought you looked really pretty today. I hope you don’t find it weird I mailed this to your house, I actually live close to you, so I saw you crossing the street today. Anyways, I just thought I would let you know you look pretty.

From,

Secret Admirer

You found yourself giggling, setting the note down. Even though you were flattered, you found it a little weird this person knew where you lived, even if they supposedly lived near. You didn’t know why they couldn’t just tell you all these things in person.

“What does it say?” Veronica asked.

“The note calls me pretty,” you said, putting it back in its envelope.

“Hm, well, whoever this is isn’t wrong,” Veronica grinned. “Do you have any idea who it is?”

You sighed, “Nope. It says they live close to me, though.”

“Maybe it’s one of the Gallagher’s,” Kevin suggested.

Your eyes went wide, remembering what Debbie had said to a few days ago when you got the second note. You shook your head, though. Carl was out with his friends right now, you had just left his house, too, and there was no sign of him.

“Nah, no offence to them, none of them are this romantic or anything. Well, except Ian, but he’s gay,” you said.

“Maybe ask about it, though? All of our other neighbours are old men, and that does not look like old man handwriting,” Veronica said.

“Maybe I will. I mean, Debbie said Carl liked me, and when I got the second note, Carl was acting all weird and shit,” you said.

Veronica eyes widened. “Carl?”

“Yeah,” you said. “I don’t care if it's him, though, it'd be kind of weird.”

Veronica sat down on the couch next to you. “You like him, don’t you?”

“Kind of,” you said sheepishly.

“Well, I think you should ask him about it. If he says no, then don’t mention your feelings for him. If he says yes the notes are from him, then confess,” Veronica said.

“Should I do that?” You asked.

“I think so, baby. Carl’s a good kid, especially with you around. I wouldn’t have a problem with you two dating.”

You smiled, “Thanks, Mom. I’ll go to his place tomorrow.”

“My baby is about to get a boyfriend!” Kevin whooped. “If he hurts you, I will kill him.”

You chuckled, “Thanks, Dad.”

————

You walked into the Gallagher’s house, spotting Fiona in the kitchen.

“Hey, Fi,” you smiled.

“Hey, Y/n! Are you here fo Debbie? She went out,” Fiona said.

“No, actually. I’m here for Carl,” you said.

“Oh, okay. Well, he’s upstairs,” Fiona said.

“Thanks, Fi,” you smiled and made your way up to Carl’s room. You saw that the door was wide open.

You went in, not seeing Carl anywhere.

Where is he? You thought.

You went around his room, walking around the room. His room was ridiculously messy. Clothes everywhere, food and plates all over the dresser, weird liquid on the floor. You chuckled to yourself as you had to step over the puddle.

“Boys are horrific,” you muttered to yourself.

You went to the desk, sitting down in the desk chair. You looked around on the desk, seeing court date papers, old homework, and cigarette boxes. As you looked more to your right, something had caught your eye. There was a paper with your name on it on the back.

You picked it up hesitantly, slowly unfolding it. Your eyes widened as you saw the words “Dear Y/n”. You knew you shouldn't, but you went ahead and read it anyways. You just wanted to make sure you were correct of your suspicions.

Dear Y/n,

After these few weeks, I have decided to try and be brave and go up to ask you out. I think you’re really pretty and you’re so funny and nice. I’ve liked you since I started high school, and even if I get rejected, I know I would regret not trying to ask you out. So, I was wondering if you wanted to go on a date?

From,

Secret Admirer, aka Carl (Gallagher)

“Y/n?” You snapped your head back, seeing Carl in a towel. Your eyes quickly ran past his chest, seeing the toned muscles in his arms and stomach. You eyes went up to his face, lingering on his lips. You then went up to his eyes, seeing them wide and filled with wonder.

“Sorry, I’ll, uh, go,” you muttered and stood up, leaving the note on the desk.

“What?” Carl asked. He was beyond confused, but when he saw you and the note, he put the pieces together. As you went to walk out of his room, he grabbed your arm, pulling you back gently so you two were face-to-face.

“Did read the note?” He asked.

You looked up at him sheepishly, “Yeah, I’m sorry for invading your privacy.”

Carl sighed, “It’s alright. I’m, uh, sorry if I wasn't who you were expecting or anything. I know I’m probably not the person you like or anything, but I just wanted to try and see if you liked me. Ian and Lip said that was a cute idea, the notes.”

Your eyes lit up with he voiced his concerns. Your lips upturned into a smile, your eyes staring into his.

“Carl, I like you, too,” you said.

Carl’s eyes widened. “Wha-what?”

You took his hands in yours. “It was a cute idea. And I’ve liked you for the last 3 years, too. I was hoping it was you, actually.”

Carl blushed, a big smile appearing on his face. “Really?” “Yep,” you nodded.

“Awesome!” Carl chuckled. “So, do you want to go on a date with me?”

“Yeah, I’d love to,” you smiled.

“Cool,” he smiled. “Well, I need to get dressed. You can stay and watch if you want,” he smirked.

You giggled at his words. “Don’t mind if I do.”

————

this was trash i am sorry

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doctorstethoscope · 4 years ago

Text

The Right Chapter 2 || Aaron Hotchner x Fem!Reader

Hello besties, laptop is going haywire but for the moment we are back!!

Read chapter 1 of this fic here!

TW: This chapter contains swearing and descriptions of domestic violence. Please read at your own discretion!

wordcount: 2.6k

tagging: @the-modernmary @greeneyedblondie44 DM to be added to the tag list :)

Josh fell asleep on your ride home. You roused him gently as you pulled into your designated parking spot outside of your apartment.

“Josh,” You whispered, pushing at his shoulder gently. “Come on, we’re home. It’s late. Let’s go to bed.”

He jerked awake. “Fuck. I was sleeping. Jesus.” He barked.

“Sorry, baby. We’re home.” You repeated.

“Don’t know why you even bother calling it home. You’re never fucking here.” Josh grumbled, clumsily unbuckling his seatbelt and sliding out the passenger seat of the car. He went on ahead as you went into your backseat to gather your go-bag and purse. When you got to the front door, he was still fumbling with his house key.

“Here, let me.” You took the key from his hands gently, unlocking the deadbolt and opening the door.

Before you could even turn around, you were on the floor in the doorway, your nose slamming into the carpet. You were bleeding onto the floor, your blood soaking the tan fibers. It takes you a moment to realize that he’d pushed you.

“Josh, what the--” a well placed kick to your hip cut off your protest before you could finish it. You rolled over, looking up to see him panting, with angry eyes.

“You think you’re real slick huh? Staying late at work with the boss? Jesus, sweetheart. I thought you were better than getting a promotion on your back.”

“We were working, Josh. There’s nothing else going on there.” You argued, scrambling backwards away from him and propping yourself up on your elbows. You know that there should be some sort of instinct kicking in, one that allows you to disarm him as if he were an unsub, but you feel helpless as you struggle to put distance between the two of you. He followed you across the room, kneeling over you and pinning you against the floor before delivering another harsh slap to your already-swollen cheek.

“Listen to me when I’m talking to you.” He growled, and you gulped. He smirked, before grabbing you by the hair and throwing you against the closest wall. You see stars, but you will yourself to stay awake. You’re scared of what he might do if you can’t fight back.

“Oh yeah? Just working, at 2AM when everyone else is gone? And what was that he called you? Invaluable.” He spits out, pulling you up roughly by your forearms. He leaned in close, presumably to intimidate you. You don’t give him the satisfaction, looking him in the eye and doing your best not to let your glare betray your fear. “Well, we’ll see about that.” He smirked, reaching an arm around to take your gun out of its holster, placing it against your chin. Your face dropped.

“Josh… Joshua, you’re drunk. Let’s just go to bed, okay? I’m sorry I was out late. I’ll make it up to you in the morning. I swear.” You’re frantic, your training leaving you once again. De-escalate, de-escalate, de-escalate. “I’m sorry, baby. It won’t happen again, I promise. I’ll request a transfer so I don’t have to travel anymore.”

He chuckled. “Okay, dear. We can talk in the morning. I’m going up to bed. Get that blood out of the carpet, will you?” He placed your gun on a nearby end table.

He kissed you on the forehead before he went to the bedroom, but the gesture had never been less comforting. He left you there, standing against the wall, blood streaming down your face. You slid down the wall, knees curled up into your chest on the floor, regulating your breath for a few minutes before you rose again. You holster your gun before tending to the blood on the carpet, realizing belatedly that you can’t get it clean because you’re still dripping all over the stain. You chuckled a little, although none of this is really all that funny, sitting back on your heels and looking up at the ceiling, wondering how the fuck you ended up here. Realizing you had no clue what time it was, you reached out your work phone, seeing a missed text from Aaron.

Please let me know that you’re safe.

You looked around, at your blood on the carpet, at the dent your head had made in the drywall when Josh threw you against it. You brought a gentle hand to your face, feeling how your nose was definitely not in the same place it was when the day had started, and you sighed. Things with Josh were never perfect-- but this was too far. You texted Hotch back.

I need help.

Hotch could have easily blamed his inability to fall asleep on the cups of coffee you both had been drinking well into the evening, but he knew that wasn’t the case. If that were so, there was no reason for him to be flicking his eyes over to his phone every three minutes. But here he was, in his study, file open in front of him, and not a word of it absorbed.

Finally, finally, his phone buzzed. He unlocked it fervently, anxious for the assurance that you were fine. Your text provided no such assurance.

“Are you safe right now? Do you need medical?” He texted back, trying to keep his head for your sake.

“Not urgently. Can’t stay here.”

“You alone?”

“He’s asleep.”

“On my way. Pack a go bag.”

“Don’t come in. Light sleeper. Just text.”

You were suddenly grateful for the load of laundry you’d left in the dryer that morning, tossing it all in your go bag without folding it. When you realized that you didn’t know when or if you’d be back here, you took the lockbox off the top of the fridge and pulled out all of your important documents-- your passport, birth certificate, social security card--you tuck them all into a file folder as you feel your phone buzz.

“Outside.” Hotchner texts you plainly. You gingerly pick up your bags and slip out the door, careful not to make any noise.

Hotch is out of the car in an instant once he sees you-- he doesn’t know what he expected, exactly, but somehow you look worse, even from a distance.

“Hey, hey, give me that.” He said, taking your bags from you. “You said you didn’t need medical.” He said, accusatory, but not mean.

“I said not urgently. I didn’t want you to send an ambulance.” You told him. “I feel fine. I just need advil.” You said as the two of you climbed into his SUV.

He looked you over, incredulous. Your nose was definitely broken, and he couldn’t tell in the dark of the night, but he was pretty sure you were still bleeding. Your cheek was swollen from where he slapped you, and you were sporting a black eye, likely a complication of the nose. And that was just what he could see. He shuddered, although he tried to hide it from you.

“We’re going to the hospital.” He said, turning his key in the ignition and taking off.

“Hotch, I just want to sleep. Please. I’ll take myself to the hospital in the morning, I promise.” You practically begged.

He turned his head towards you. The only thing he wanted more than to give in, in that moment, was to make sure that you were safe. “Did you hit your head?” He asked,

“What?” You asked.

“Did you bump your head at all, when everything happened?”

“Yeah,” you told him, running a hand over your head and feeling the tender bump that was forming there. You cringed, and Aaron caught it.

“I’m sorry, but we need to take you to the hospital. You probably have a concussion.” He apologized.

“I really don’t want to go through the whole ‘you were clearly involved in a domestic dispute’ thing that they’re going to do,” you complained.

“You don’t have to answer any questions you don’t want to answer. I just need to make sure you’re okay. Everything else goes at your pace.” He promises you, sneaking a glance away from the road and over to your face. You’re already looking back at him.

“Thank you,” you whispered.

Already looking back at the road, Hotch took one hand away from the wheel and gave your forearm a quick squeeze in response. You drove in silence for a few moments before Aaron pulled into the hospital.

“Alright, let’s get this over with so we can get you to bed.” He told you, climbing out of the car before coming over to your side to help you walk. Truth be told, you didn’t really need assistance, but your hip hurt so badly that you were limping, and it seemed better to have Aaron slowed down by helping you, rather than just by watching you.

The emergency room was, thankfully, deserted, and you were seen relatively quickly. Aaron offered to stay in the waiting room but you asked him to come with you.

“I, uh. I don’t really want to be left alone right now, if you don’t mind.”

“No, no, of course not.” He said, standing and following you and the nurse.

“What brings you in, dear?” The nurse asked, moving slowly to accommodate your pace.

“My boyfriend beat the shit out of me.” You said, figuring she might make it easier if you just bite the bullet, and Aaron shot you a glance. You shrugged in response, and then noticed the nurse’s eyes shifting between the two of you.

“Oh, no. Not him.” You assured her with as big of a smile as you could muster, given the amount of pain that you were in. “He’s a friend. He picked me up.” You explained as she led the two of you into an exam room, shutting the door behind you. Aaron helped you up onto the exam bed gently, choosing to stand nearby rather than sit in the chair provided.

“Okay, ma’am. Our policy for domestic disputes is not to involve police unless requested by the victim.” You cringed at her word choice. “We don’t want this to be more stressful than it already is. What we do instead, is we take a detailed account of everything that happened to cause you bodily harm, and if you decide to pursue any legal action, we can send those records along on your behalf. So can you tell me what happened tonight?”

You glanced over at Aaron before you started, taking a deep breath. He wasn’t going to like this. You told the nurse, clinically, what had happened, leaving out the things he had said to you for Aaron’s sake. You did your best to keep your emotions in check, although regurgitating everything that had happened was making you feel sick. You glanced over at Aaron-- his jaw was set, his mouth in a straight line, nostrils flaring, even as he stared at the linoleum tile on the floor. You closed your eyes and attempted to zone out as you continued, as if you could distance yourself from the emotions by imagining that it was just a story you were telling.

“And then he pulled my gun out of my holster---”

“Ma’am, do you have a gunshot wound?” The nurse interrupts you, voice slightly panicked.

Oh, shit. You probably didn’t need to include that part. Your eyes are open in an instant, and you look over at Hotch. He’s pissed, and not looking at the floor anymore.

“No, no. Sorry, that is um--- that’s clinically insignificant. He didn’t fire the gun or strike me with it. That’s how it ended.”

“Okay, hon. Why don’t you get changed,” she said, handing you a hospital gown, “and I’ll send the doctor in in just a second.”

“Thank you,” you said, and Aaron echoed his thanks.

“Clinically insignificant?” Aaron asked incredulously as the nurse shut the door.

“Can you turn around? I need to change.” You deflected.

He turned to face the wall as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “He pulled a gun on you, (y/n).” He shook his head as you quickly changed.

“I know. I’m sorry. You can turn back around now.” You told him.

“No, I’m sorry. How long has this been going on for? How did I not notice?” He asked as he turned to see you, practically swimming in the oversized gown.

“I think we all work really, really hard not to be profiled, Aaron.” You tried to comfort him.

He was interrupted before he could respond by the doctor knocking and then swinging the door open.

“Good evening, folks.” The smiling blonde woman said. “Let’s get you home so you can sleep some of this off, yeah?”

It takes a couple of hours, but you’re sent home with a nose that’s set back in place, as well as a prescription for enough pain killers to put a large dog in a coma, in addition to the confirmation that you did, in fact, have a concussion. Your hip, thankfully, was just bruised.

“She needs to be woken up every couple of hours for the rest of the night and the day tomorrow. Just to be safe.” The doctor told Hotch.

“Not a problem.” He said resolutely.

“Do you have any questions?” She asked, turning to you.

“When can I go back to work?”

“Well, if you work at a computer--”

“I work for the justice department. So, I guess I’m really asking about field work.” You clarify.

“At least ten days, and that’s if you’re feeling better.” She said, giving you a stern look. You visibly deflated, knowing that if the doctor said ten days, Hotch wasn’t letting you in the field for at least twenty.

“Thank you, doctor.” Hotchner said, placing a hand on the small of you back as she opened the door and allowed you both out.

“Of course. Call us if anything changes.”

You trudged out to the car in an exhausted silence, sure that you’ll fall asleep as soon as the car starts moving. Once you’re buckled in, Hotch speaks.

“I’ll tell Strauss that we aren’t coming in today,” he says offhandedly as he cranes his body back to pull out of the parking spot, his arm strewn across the back of your seat for leverage.

“We?” You questioned.

“You need to be woken up every two hours. I can’t exactly do that from the office.” He reminds you.

“I can just set an alarm on my phone, it’s not a big deal.”

“Uh huh, and when the alarm doesn’t wake you up because you have a brain bleed?” He’s teasing you, but you also know him well enough to know that there is a very real twinge of anxiety behind it.

“Hotch,” you scoffed at his joke, breaking into a smile despite yourself. “I don’t need you to take care of me.” You added more seriously.

“I know you don’t.” He placates you. “But will you let me do it anyways? Plus, you’re not the only one who didn’t sleep last night.”

“I guess that’s my fault.” You admitted.

“Hey, I’m glad you called me. And I’m also glad the bureau has a generous sick leave policy. We both need it right now.”

You can sense that this is an argument that you’re not going to win, and even if you could, you don’t have the energy to try. You close your eyes and lean back against the headrest in the car, giving him a resigned nod before you fall asleep.

#aaron hotchner #aaron hotchner fic #criminal minds #criminal minds fic #aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner x you #hotch x you #aaron hotchner x y/n #hotch x y/n

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aetheternity · 3 years ago

Text

Being a big brother when you've never been a big brother (800 follower special)

Synopsis: In which Levi's been dating you for a year and a half and gets the news that Kuchel is pregnant.

Introduction: In this Kuchel is 43. She had Levi as a teenager (17). Female reader and Levi haven't talked a lot about having babies yet. You two live together but haven't discussed it fully but you have told Levi you'd be open to the idea of having children while he was slightly on the fence.

• To say Levi is shocked is a monumentous understatement.

• When he gets the news that his mother was pregnant with his step father's baby he gets quiet.

• Doesn't say much.

• Well what would he say honestly?

• You on the other hand are spewing out baby names and bouncing in your seat while asking his mother about her plans for colors in the nursery.

• It's not surprising that he's distant. He's 26 and he just found out he's gonna be a big brother. He knows next to nothing about children as it is.

• Though eventually he warms to the idea and by warms I mean he becomes as helpful as possible in aiding his pregnant mother around. Buys her anything she wants/needs and goes on all the trips to buy clothes, toys etc for the baby's arrival.

• Even though he's still pretty quiet on his feelings about the whole situation.

"Babe?" You call to him one night as you're both getting ready for bed. He turns his head slightly to look at you. "Are you ok? I know this might take a lot more getting used to."

He sighs placing his tie on the dresser. "How would you feel?"

It's not said maliciously just curiously. Grey eyes fully scoping the lines of your face. "How would I-" You start and then stop, eyebrows raised and cheeks puffed. "Well.. I know you probably don't need to hear awkward."

He blinks turning his attention back to the mirror. "No! I'm sorry, Levi!" You gestured out to him with both hands and he sighs, walking over to you with light thumps on the carpet.

You laid back in bed and he slowly pulled himself over you. His hands on either sides of your shoulders, legs spread on either side of yours and head resting delicately on your chest. "It's gonna be ok. Look the first year of that kid's life is just them needing love and a bottle to suckle. Worry about the first year once they're born and everything else will fall perfectly into place."

Levi snorted against your skin, fingers lightly stroking the arms of your tee shirt. "Perfectly.."

"You know what I mean." You reply, pressing the smallest kiss against the top of his head. "I'll be by your side the entire time."

The only reply you get is a soft exhale. Levi's heart beat softly evens out and with your fingers curling through his gorgeous black hair he slowly falls asleep.

Finding out the baby's gender:

• When Levi finds out he's having a little brother he feels.. pretty much the same though apart of him is kinda sighing in relief at knowing he won't have to protect a little girl from nasty boys.

• You on the other hand are beaming, "Levi, you're gonna have a little brother! Isn't that great. Kuchel were you hoping for another little boy?"

• Kuchel smiles, "I wasn't too concerned with the gender just as long as they were healthy." She admitted "But I wouldn't have minded a girl, just to see what parenting the opposite gender would be like."

• Somehow the conversation of Levi's future baby brother turned into a conversation about you and Levi's possible future child and what you'd want your first kid to be.

• Levi didn't stay long when that started, promptly excusing himself and you found out almost three hours later that he'd taken a walk and ended up at home.

"Levi?" When you walked into your shared house he was laying on the couch with an arm over his face.

He slowly laid his arm out flat next to his body and you walked over to him cupping the hand closest to you.

"I was going to come back but.."

"You didn't?" You gave him a small smile running a finger over his cheek. He went quiet, eyes falling shut.

"Don't.." He sighs, eyebrows twitching on his forehead. "Don't start that thing you do.. you know when you worry about people.."

You scoff, "Well I am worried about you, I've never seen you look like this before."

His eyelids flutter open slightly, grey eyes flashing over to you through the slits. "You've thought about our future kid a lot?"

You blink, mouth hanging open, "I- well I.. wasn't ok I was it was just for Kuchel." You tried to laugh.

Levi's eyebrow raised, "No, you didn't tell me how much you really thought about it beyond our past conversations. You've thought about it more than you admitted so you might as well stop pretending."

He sits up on the couch, hands dangling between his spread legs. "Ok fine you win." You admit with a huff. "But with Kuchel and the baby and the baby shower and all it definitely wasn't the right time to revisit this conversation. I just couldn't help it."

His fingers come up to rest in your hair carding away any loose strands where they are on your face. "Looks like we have to discuss it again." He says

A couple weeks after the baby's actual birth:

• You and Levi had come over only a couple days after the birth of the youngest Ackerman.

• "I named him Chance." Kuchel had remarked, her eyes filled with light as she held one of the smallest things Levi had ever laid eyes on.

• "Chance?" You replied, slowly transferring the baby from her arms to yours.

• "Because he was a Chance baby. It was honestly a little worrisome having him since I'm getting up there you know. More of a risk." She laughed it off.

• You looked to her with a small smile. "He's gorgeous." Your smile only getting brighter as you held the small person in your arms. Watching as he softly sucked his pacifier.

• "Just like his big brother." You added, smirking in Levi's direction.

• "Tch." Was the only thing he could muster as he stared in any direction other than the one where his girlfriend was now holding his newborn brother.

• "Levi, don't you wanna hold him?" Kuchel asked her smile never fading.

• Now he felt himself look up. He looked first at Chance and then to you holding him so tight.

• "Come here." You whispered and like a startled deer Levi slowly surveyed the situation a little more before he was coming closer.

• He inched his way down right in front of you and Kuchel, plopping down on the coffee table. Eyes locked on Chance's currently closed eyelids.

• "Not yet right?" You said to him

• He looked up at you then back to baby Chance.

• "Yeah.. not yet." You confirmed

☆☆☆☆

• You'd been right about one thing all Chance needed was love and a bottle to suckle..

• It just for whatever reason wasn't allowed to come from Levi.

• He'd hold Chance, he'd cry.

• Kuchel would hand him his sleeping brother while she got his dinner ready. He'd wake up and scream bloody murder.

• And at this point Chance had successfully: Peed on, spit on and thrown up on Levi.

• And all with the same blissfully smug expression.

"Don't get discouraged, Levi." Kuchel said soothingly "He's just not comfortable with you yet." She explained as she rocked Chance in her arms.

"You did talk to him the least while Kuchel was pregnant. Maybe it has something to do with that?" You tried with a shrug.

"All I know is I'm sick of being covered in his different bodily fluids." Levi huffed

"Awwww. Barely a year old and the brothers are fighting already." You giggled, Kuchel quickly joining in on your laughter.

Levi just rolled his eyes. He felt a little pang in his chest as he looked at his sleeping brother. No one else got nearly as much shit from this kid as he did. But it couldn't possibly be a personal attack the kid was less than one year old what could he possibly know about fights with his brother?

You and Levi take one year old Chance to the park:

• It was comfort weather.

• The perfect kind of weather to take Chance to the park on a crisp Saturday when you both were off from work.

• And a part of Levi was sort of glad for this opportunity.

• Kuchel and his step dad had gone out for pizza and here he was with you and his brother.

• It was surprising to Levi how lively Chance was: trying to push the hood of his stroller up and messing with the buckle strapping him in.

• Felt like just yesterday he couldn't hold his own head up.

• "Alright Chance. Come here." You giggled, gently pulling him out of the stroller with Levi's help.

• You guys had a little set up going in the shade under a tree. Blanket, Chance's toys and his sippy cup all sprawled over the space.

• You handed Levi a red donut shaped toy and told him, "Hold it out for Chance, he loves this game."

• "Chance look." You said as Levi held the toy up to a distracted Chance.

• Unsurprisingly the first thing he did was cry.

• "Here let me try." You offered, pulling the toy from Levi's grasp.

• The second you took the toy and held it in front of Chance his smile practically touched his ears and he leaned forward trying to grab it with his hands and then his mouth.

"You're doing great." You praised, pulling Chance onto his legs.

Levi just sighed, "Anything else?"

You pointed to the ball with one finger, still bouncing Chance. "He loves that squeaky thing."

Levi looked in the direction of the small toy, yanking it up off the blanket. He held it up giving it a little squeeze in front of Chance. It drew his attention surprisingly fast and he watched Levi's hand as he squeezed it again.

He was so weirdly enamored by such a normal item it was honestly really cute. A warmth spread through Levi's chest as you smiled at him in his peripherals.

"You want this?" Levi asked, holding it out for Chance.

Your smile stretched over your face as Chance reached for it. Little legs working to get him closer to the ball in Levi's grasp.

"That's it." You cheered softly. "Good job."

It wasn't clear who the compliment was directed towards but Levi was too distracted by Chance's little hands trying desperately to pull the object from his grasp. You still had your hands around Chance to support him as he finally grabbed the ball at a weird angle. The object immediately meeting his mouth.

"Yay, you got it." You said, bouncing Chance lightly. "See now you guys are-"

Chance turned in your grasp, the ball plopping onto the grass with an almost inaudible thud. Unfortunately Levi didn't account for Chance to bend over at the same time as him trying to pick up the ball and his nail came down on Chance's forehead. Not hard enough to leave a mark but hard enough for Chance to scream at the top of his lungs as if he'd been stabbed instead.

"Wait no!" You gasped, picking up the ball.

"Shit." Levi sucked his teeth.

"Levi!"

Luckily Chance probably didn't hear either of that thanks to his loud screaming. You tried to give him back the ball only to have it smacked from your grasp. The tiny object tumbling down the hill as you tried and failed to coax Chance down.

Thankfully Levi reacted fast grabbing it before it could roll too far away.

"Is he alright?" Levi tried as you rocked him back and forth.

You giggled, "Yeah, he's a drama queen you know that." It didn't seem to really help though. Levi's features scrunched and his shoulders unnaturally hunched. "Let's take him for a little walk, maybe then he'll calm down."

☆☆☆☆

It took around thirty minutes of walking and rolling Chance's stroller through the once quiet park for him to finally tucker himself out.

Levi huffed as you and him plopped down on the nearest park bench. You rifled through the bag pushing the hood of Chance's stroller up before placing his blue bucket hat on his head. Which perfectly matched his blue overalls and blue socks.

"Sorry." You finally heard him mutter as you pushed pretty brown locks out of Chance's eyes.

"It's not your fault." You replied "I promise Chance is just being himself he probably would've cried that hard if I or anyone else had scratched him too."

Levi said nothing. Just watched as you pushed the brim of the hat up. With a little click you fastened it to the front of his hat. Chance's soft features in full view. The little froggy on his green shirt moving with every breath he took. But Levi could only watch.

"Hey, look here." Your cheeks were puffed out as you yanked Levi's face toward yours. "He's gonna warm to you." You said with softened features. "You're doing such a good job." You praise.

The edges of Levi's eyebrows slowly relax and he lets his chest flow with air like he hadn't done since he made Chance scream earlier. The corners of his lips lift a little and he sits back as you push the stroller back and forth with one arm.

Before he can even think about it he spills the awe flowing in his eyes, "You'd make a great mom."

When you smile at him it makes his heart sink. You slowly turn your attention back to a sleeping Chance and he moves in a little closer.

"If there's.. some future where I actually have a child. I want you to carry my babies."

Your eyes are blown a bit, mouth agape as you look back at him. "Levi.." You start but are immediately cut off by a soft aww from two passing women.

"He's adorable." One says, staring into the open stroller.

"You guys are the cutest parents." Says the other.

"O-oh.. I.. we're actually just babysitting him." You struggle

"Still he's cute." Says women number two bending down to have the same view as her friend.

"Thank you." You practically choke. Eventually they leave and you run a shaky hand through your surprisingly sweaty hair.

"Levi." You start before he can get the chance. "I want you to be sure. Ok, I mean we went from Chance being a drama queen to you saying you want me to have your kids?"

"I didn't mean to say it here." Levi admitted "I did mean it though. You weren't the only one thinking while Kuchel was pregnant."

You give him a little kiss on the nose, brushing your finger over the tip of his ear. "It would be a huge step. We're not even married."

Levi nods, "Someday.."

"Someday."

Family beach day? Family beach day:

• Mikasa had come cause this was her first time getting to meet Chance.

• There were lots of firsts actually. It was also Chance's first time on the beach.

• Chance instantly loved Mikasa the second she held him.

• Soft laughter and a bright smile flooding his face.

• Kuchel and Levi both spent as much time as possible under the beach umbrella.

• You spread sunscreen on Chance's body while Mikasa distracted him by showing him how to make a sandcastle.

• Cue you also trying to get some pictures for Kuchel to hang on the family wall she had back home only for Chance to turn away every time.

• Which he genuinely thought was the most hilarious thing ever.

• And in all the time you'd known Mikasa you'd never seen her smile so much.

• "Is it.. possible it's Chance?" You asked while Chance threw any and all the sand that could fit in his tiny fists.

• She just playfully rolled her eyes, handing Chance the shovel. Which he didn't know what to do with so he just resorted to shaking it around till it flew from his grasp.

• "That's such an Ackerman response." You chirped reaching for the discarded shovel.

• You were more than a little surprised when Levi's uncle Kenny showed up. Slamming the door of his kidnapper van closed.

• "Woah Kenny came?" You asked Levi as you sat on the edge of his beach chair.

• You, Mikasa and Chance had all decided to take a break from shell collecting to come up and eat lunch.

• Kuchel laughed at your surprise. "He hasn't met Chance yet." She explained

• "Ahh." You replied

• Chance seemed.. confused by Kenny.

• His only response to Kenny holding him being a blank stare.

• Kenny didn't seem to notice though as he yapped on about the time he accidentally put Levi in the washing machine.

• "You what?" Kuchel gasped

• "It wasn't on!" Kenny explained

• "If me and Levi aren't free to babysit please try Mikasa." You whispered to her.

• Chance spent most of his time after that resting in Mikasa's lap while she rubbed his back and hair.

• Cue Kuchel trying to get Levi to help her put a fussy Chance down for a small nap a couple hours later.

• Which unsurprisingly made Chance more fussy.

• Though the second Levi left, Chance drifted off on the towel in their tent.

• Mikasa made Chance a seashell crown 🥺

• It was a little big so it slipped off his head when he turned a certain way but he laughed whenever she'd place it back on his head.

• Mikasa had been a little on the fence about it but you had basically insisted on getting Levi to take Chance to the water.

• Unsurprisingly Mikasa wasn't the only one on the fence.

"He's having fun with you and Mikasa so you should be the ones that take him down there." Levi argued

"Oh come on Levi! It'll be fun."

Mikasa bounced a calm Chance in her arms as he played with the seashell crown she'd made for him. "He hasn't been with his big brother all day because you've been sitting here reading a book." Mikasa tried but it was only successful in getting Levi to suck his teeth.

"You know I don't wanna go anywhere near the water Y/N." He replied

Finally you got bored and peeled the book from Levi's grasp a cold stare greeting you when he looked up. "You can just go into the water for five minutes with Chance, please! Just so I can take a few pictures and he can get a feel of the water and then you can give him back to me and Mikasa and return to your book."

You could see the gears working in Levi's head as he looked over at a happy looking Chance. His red striped shirt covered in sand which Mikasa was happily dusting off. You already knew exactly what he was thinking but you didn't actually have to say anything because he was slowly rising from his chair:

"Mikasa give Chance to Levi." You said, holding your camera out as Levi reached for a distracted Chance.

Mikasa's arm came up to Chance's back, "Shouldn't I carry him to the water?" She tried

You tilted your head, "Mikasa.."

She finally relinquished Chance, handing him over as if she were fearful Levi would drop him. Levi looked down at the small boy in his arms mildly comforted in the fact that he didn't immediately cry, scream or pee on him.

"Come on guys let's get to the water." You called beckoning to them.

"I'm fine to carry him, I've done it before." Levi assured her as Chance looked behind him towards where they were headed.

"I'm not really worried about you." Mikasa replied, looking down at Chance who was now kicking his legs against Levi's sides.

When you'd all arrived near the water Chance was in awe. His bright grey eyes practically blown and his mouth hung open. He nearly dropped the seashell crown in his arms. Luckily Mikasa scooped it up before it fell.

"Look at this Chance." You cooed gesturing to the water. "Isn't it beautiful?"

Chance responded with glee reaching his arms out toward the huge body of water. He bounced up and down, hands out as he grasped onto nothing.

"He loves it!" You chuckled, carding your fingers through his gorgeous brown hair.

"Armin's gonna love him." Mikasa said, rubbing Chance's belly.

"Ok, quick get him over here while the water is calm." You gestured to the flowing sea and Levi placed him down, holding his waist awkwardly.

You lowered the camera in your grasp, "Come on big brother sit with him, make it look like you're really having fun at the beach with him." You gestured and Levi begrudgingly sat.

He looked back over to you and you gestured again to the water coaxing Levi into splashing water on Chance who was currently staring out over the huge body of water in delight.

Unlike Chance who was actually wearing water shorts Levi was not. He'd come to the beach in cargo shorts because he hadn't planned on sitting on anything but a beach chair or a towel. So now that he was wading uncomfortably in barely ankle deep water his shorts probably looked like he'd pissed or shit himself.

Though he still followed your advice, flicking a tiny bit of water in Chance's direction. It worked surprisingly well because Chance's attention immediately caught on to Levi sitting in front of him.

"Good job baby." You cooed as you snapped picture after picture. Meanwhile Mikasa crossed her arms as if she were waiting for Levi to mess up so she could jump in.

Chance's lips curved up slow and before Levi or anyone could react he lifted his legs slamming them down hard. Water flying all over Levi in the process. It made Chance guffaw and he did it again this time with his hands forcing Levi to shield his eyes from the assault.

"Chance stop it that's not nice." You called but Chance continued smacking and splashing every bit of sea water that flowed between his legs onto Levi.

And for someone who'd never played with water he was way too good at understanding how to get the most water with each scoop. Drenching Levi until Mikasa stepped in to stop it.

"Chance, that's not funny." She said, her features cold. "If you can't play nice in the water, you can't play in the water.

That seemed to strike a cord in him. His breath hitching as tears flowed down his little cheeks. He clung to Mikasa and sobbed until she reached up to rub his back.

"Are you ok?" You asked Levi as he spit ocean water. His hair clinging to his face.

"I just wanna take a shower." He admitted, though his jaw was locked as he spoke.

His hoodie was drenched and his shorts had turned dark brown all over. He walked a little bit faster than you and Mikasa as you both made it back to Kuchel and Kenny.

"Oh God what happened?" Kuchel asked immediately grabbing a towel while Kenny laughed.

"Chance happened." You answered for Levi as he dried his head first stripping his wet hoodie off to reveal his bare chest.

Kuchel looked to Chance who was now innocently sucking his thumb, his head laid on Mikasa's chest.

"I guess his first time in the water was interesting." She sighed

"I got some good pictures before things hit the fan. I'll send them to you." You said, showing her the first couple pictures you had pulled up of Levi and Chance sitting in the ocean together.

"Thank you so much Y/N."

Chance's first words:

• Chance had said his first words when he was 6 almost 7 months old.

• And barely anything else since.

• He really was an Ackerman.

• Every now and then he'd say little things: Ball, Mashed Potatoes (cause they're his favorite food) And TV.

• And of course names which he was pretty good at.

• But the only name he refused to say was Levi.

"Alright Chance you remember your big brother's name right?" Kuchel asked, Chance looked up from his block fort. Kuchel pointed to Levi who was calmly drinking tea and surveying the scene. "Levi." She said

Chance blinked then went back to his block fort. "He has to say it eventually right?" You asked Kuchel as you handed Chance another block.

"He's being stubborn and yes he has to." She replied squeezing Chance's waist.

Chance's eyes rolled to the sky as he placed the block you'd given him next to the tower of blocks that he'd already built.

"When did he learn that?" You huffed in surprise.

"Same time he learned the s-word probably." Kuchel sighed when you gasped she laughed a little. "Stupid." She explained still laughing.

"Oh! Oh."

The two of you continued to laugh as Chance rearranged the tower he'd built knocking it over in the process.

"Chance I believe a smart two year old like you can say a name like Levi I mean you got Mikasa down." You say

"He calls her Mika actually." Kuchel replied

You hum and Chance puffs, "Don't wanna."

He finally gets the block tower to look at least slightly how he wanted it seemingly. He slowly leans back like he's trying to get a better view.

"That's amazing Chance." Kuchel applauds with a soft gasp.

"Good job sweetie." You chime in

"It's not bad." Levi says to which Chance is rolling his eyes again.

"What are you gonna call it?" You ask hoping it'll cut the tension you can feel growing.

Chance peers at it then opens his mouth but before he can say anything he looks at Levi who's staring back. And slowly but surely that slow moving grin works its way onto his features.

"Stupid Levi!" He exclaims with a laugh before taking a block and smashing the whole thing in.

"Chance!" Kuchel huffs

"That's one stubborn kid.." You say with a sigh as Kuchel takes Chance to the punishment chair.

Emergency in babysitting (in which Levi gets high but Kuchel needs to drop off Chance because she has an emergency to take care of.):

{This is based off some headcanons I read for Levi when he's high. If I ever manage to find the post again I'll link it here.}

• You'd forgotten how clingy Levi got when he was high.

• He hummed into the fat of your waist as you sat still trying to watch TV on low volume.

• His leg shaking a little every couple minutes.

• Your fingers slowly carding through his head as his eyes stayed shut tight.

• At some point the doorbell rang and you tried to pull yourself out of Levi's grasp thinking he was sleeping.

• "Where are you going?" He almost whined, pulling himself up on his knees and crawling to you.

• "The doorbell baby. I promise I'm coming back." You said giving him a small kiss on the cheek.

• "W- OK.. I'll wait here." He sat on the edge of the bed, kicking his legs a little.

• You can't help how hard you smile, "I'll be back, I promise."

• The second you open the door you're bombarded with words and Levi's step-dad holding his nose.

• "Oh God what happened?" You asked

• "I need someone to watch Chance for a couple hours while we go to the hospital. He fell on one of Chance's toys while he was carrying some boxes and.." She gestured absently, handing Chance over

• "Sure, no problem." You replied "Hope you feel better." You said to Levi's step-dad.

• Kuchel quickly handed you a bag of Chance's stuff before hurrying off with Levi's step-dad.

• You shut the door with a sigh just as Levi came down the stairs, "You said you'd be back." He huffed

• "I'm sorry, listen your step-dad is going to the hospital so we have Chance for the night." You explained

• You honestly couldn't tell what Levi or Chance's faces meant but both boys seemed to be in silent agreement.

• "Are you hungry Chance?" You asked as he sucked his thumb laying his head on your chest.

• "Mashed Potatoes." He nodded

• "Yeah? OK let me get you some."

Levi followed you into the kitchen and watched you as you placed Chance in the high chair you guys had for when he visited.

"I know, you want to sleep off your high baby just give me a few minutes to get Chance fed and asleep." You offered

Levi nodded but he stayed by your side as you grabbed the box with mashed potato mix in it and got to work putting it in a pot with some water and butter.

"You don't want anything else babes? Just mashed potatoes?" You called to the small boy kicking his legs behind you.

He nodded, "mashed potatoes." He repeated with a kick of his legs.

You managed somehow to get the food cooking while Levi clung to you like a puppy. His gaze soft whenever you met his eyes. His hands in your shorts pockets and arms coming up to meet your waist.

"You know Chance, mashed potatoes are more of a side." You explained

Chance shook his head, he glanced over at Levi who was still holding onto you like he was worried you'd fly away or something. Which immediately sparked tears, he shoved at the tray in front of him screaming your name and reaching out for you.

"Ok, ok please don't cry Chance!" You shouted over his crying when you picked him up, he instantly stopped, yanking you closer to press a kiss to the side of your face before snuggling into your shoulder.

"Aww Chance." You patted his back giving him a kiss back on his forehead.

"I want kisses, please." Levi said bouncing on his tippy toes.

You quickly gave him a forehead kiss as well and he calmed down enough to rock against you, "I hope you're still this cute when you're holding my children." He sighs.

(Ok so I reached the post number limit. Might make a P2 of this let's see how this one does first.)

#aot x reader #attack on titan #shingeki no kyoujin x reader #levi ackerman x reader #snk x reader #levi x reader #levi ackerman #levi x y/n #aot imagines #levi ackerman headcanons #levi ackerman fluff #snk levi #aot headcanons #aot au #kuchel ackerman #kenny ackerman #cal writes

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seconds-not-decades · 2 years ago

Text

Time and Oblivion

Pairing: Five Hargreeves x Fem! OC

Author's Note: Hello and welcome. This is my long-awaited season three fic and I will be posting daily.

Warnings: Season 3 spoilers, cursing, and death.

Previous | Next

Kugelblitz

~ * ~

On the 12th hour of the first day of October 1989, 16 women around the world gave birth. This was unusual only in the fact that none of these women had been pregnant when the day first began. Sir Reginald Hargreeves, eccentric billionaire and adventurer, resolved to locate and adopt as many of the children as possible.

He got seven of them.

~ * ~

Lila laughed even more as they got inside the…semi warmth of what remained of the building. They looked around, stunned.

"Holy shit. I was just here. How long was I bloody gone?" Lila questioned.

"It seems the grandfather paradox is affecting everything," Five set the briefcase down.

"Even places out of time," Karina shivered a bit.

"Is that possible?" Lila asked.

"I stopped tracking what was possible a long time ago," Five scoffed.

A rumbling occurred and a part of the ceiling suddenly fell down. Karina yanked Lila back before any of it fell on her and Lila was slightly taken back by her.

"We better get moving," Karina played it off with a short exhale.

"I'll check the Infinite Switchboard," Five headed up the stairs and she quickly joined his side.

"And I'll check Herb's office. Little cockroach would survive anything," Lila returned.

"Bye," Karina said.

"See ya," Five added.

"Miss you two lovebirds!" Lila called.

"That's weird," Five remarked.

They climbed the stairs carefully.

"Gosh, this place is awful," Karina softly observed, looking at the building.

"Hard to believe, isn't it?" Five brought her to his side and wrapped an arm around her shivering frame.

"Thanks," she snuggled into his side as they went into the room with the Switchboard.

It was dark, lonesome, and cold. Glass was shattered and the room barely seemed to be held together. The main screen however seemed to be on. Five went over to it and cleared the dusty glass. Karina clicked around on a few things and the screen came to life.

The broadcast warbled some and then Herb appeared. "There's been a rip in the space-time continuum. It's swallowing everything. Oh, my sweet Dot, Iris, Josh from accounting, they're all gone." The audio scratched a bit as Five clicked around to get it to keep playing. "I've tried everything! I don't know what else to do. The timeline is collapsing!" Herb yelped, panicking. "Oh!" There was screaming in background.

Five and Karina were watching in shock and disbelief. She had tears threatening to spill and her heart was breaking to see her former friend in distress and danger.

"This is…the end," Herb screamed as an energy wave hit him and he was blitzed from existence.

"Herb, Dot, no!" Karina choked out. "No!"

"Rina-!" Five suddenly grabbed her as her knees gave out.

They sank to the floor while she sobbed into her hands. He brought her into his arms, letting her cry into his chest. He wordlessly held her, silent with grief as well. After all, Herb and Dot were the two closest people to allies they ever had in The Commission.

The still air was filled with her quiet sobs as Five tried to comfort her as best as he could. He was anxious to figure out what took them away, but he knew she needed him more.

"Rina, my angel…are you going to be okay?" Five softly asked after hearing her cries cease.

Karina nodded almost miserably and he kissed her forehead lovingly. He wiped the tears from her stained cheeks, helping her to her feet carefully.

"I could kill for some scrambled eggs right now," Lila announced as she came inside and she paused when she noticed how somber the two were.

"This is bigger than the timeline, Lila," Five spoke quietly, rubbing Karina's back soothingly.

"What's bigger than the timeline?"

"The entire universe," Karina answered hollowly, looking down distantly. "The missing dogs, people…"

"It's the opposite of the big bang," Five picked up as she trailed off. "Instead of the universe expanding, it's now collapsing in on itself."

"Like a prolapsing rectum," Lila compared, understanding their logic.

"That's a weird analogy, but yeah," Five confirmed.

"Here, then," she held up a rather large book. "This might give us some answers."

Five took it and read the cover. "Master handbook," he was impressed.

"The one and only," Lila piped up.

He opened the book and flipped through the pages. "Here we are. Okay, protocol," he began reading, "In the unlikely case of the grandfather paradox, the founder and any essential personnel should-"

"-Be immediately remanded to the operations bunker," Lila finished, pointing her pencil at the sentence. "The founder."

"What founder?" Karina frowned.

"I don't know," Five replied.

Suddenly more of the ceiling came crashing down and the three jumped back. The wind outside was blowing a little fiercer.

"We need to find that bunker-" Five started, feeling Karina clinging to his side now and he wrapped his arm around her protectively.

"ASAP," all three finished in unison.

"Jinx," Lila commented lightly.

Five carefully led Karina off.

"A-B-C-1-2-3, personal padlock," Lila told them as she followed the couple.

"Can you no-" Five tried to say.

"You can't speak!" she cut him off.

~ * ~

The three climbed up a flight of stairs as Five flipped through the handbook again.

"This is just like a bunch of bureaucratic bullshit. There's no clear directives in here about crisis management," he complained, shutting the book. "You know, Lila, Rina and I shouldn't even be here. We were…we were out."

"Yeah. We were done, and yet here we are, swept back into the chaos," Karina sighed flatly.

"Why can't we just escape this hellhole?" he ranted, scratching the back of his head and she glanced at him closely and in concern.

"Because you love it," Lila was oblivious as they entered an open, snowy room.

Karina's suspicions began to get confirmed when the sound of excessive gas came from Five.

"My bad," he apologized.

"Face it, Five, besides your wife, apocalypse problems are the only things that get your heart pumping," Lila remarked.

"I don't know why people keep saying that. I don't actually like chaos. I don't want disorder," he scratched his neck again.

"Five?" Karina drew out.

"I…I want retirement," he continued, not hearing her.

Lila laughed from that. "Yeah, right. What? A normal life of groceries and taxes? You would die of boredom and most likely fight Karina just for something to do."

"Yeah, well, you're not exactly cut out for domestic bliss either," Karina remarked as they went through a blue door.

"'Course I'm bloody not. Thank God!" Lila said.

The three headed down an interior staircase.

"I mean, maybe it's a tone thing? I don't know, but you could really work on, like, the way you speak. It's very…It's irritating," Lila rambled while they journeyed through the dark corridor, climbing over things along the way. "I'm just saying it's something you can work on, you know? For the future."

Five sighed, smiling at her.

"Why you smiling, you little pisspot?" Lila paused in confusion.

"'Cause of that," Five pointed to a sign that said "Operations Bunker".

"Well, you could have led with that."

The three quickly headed over to the door and went through.

"Exsqueeze me," Lila shot.

"You're excused," Five shot back, letting Karina go before him.

Lila went over to a scanning device and looked into the blue light. The device beeped and an alarm buzzed.

"We're screwed," Lila sighed.

"Unauthorized access," an electronic female voice announced.

"Oh shit," Five muttered, scratching the back of his neck again.

"This isn't good," Karina was watching him cautiously.

Lila looked over at Five. "Jesus. You're sweating like a dodgy shrimp on ice! What's wrong?"

"Where is…" Karina trailed off as Five went over to the device in slight uncertainty.

He gazed into it and it whirred. Then it chimed.

"Access granted," the same voice announced and the door unlocked.

"I guess you're essential personnel," Lila dryly commented.

The door rolled open to reveal a high tech, strangely lit room.

"Wow," Lila chuckled as she went inside.

Five and Karina hesitated for a moment before they also went into the room. Five stopped, looking around in confusion when he felt his paradox psychosis symptoms suddenly go away.

"Are you okay?" Karina whispered to him in concern.

He glanced around. "I don't know yet, my love…" he drew out.

The door rolled closed behind them. Lila slowly crept over to the cylinder container holding an elderly man and she peeked inside. The ventilator hissed and she could hear faint raspy breathing.

"That's him, huh? The founder," Five commented.

"Looks like tinned beef," Lila mumbled as the couple went over. "I was expecting more man and less…" She banged on the window and metal clanged. " …Can."

Five and Karina both stared at the man in disbelief.

"It can't be," Five breathed out.

"What's wrong?" Lila looked at him.

"It's me," Five replied lowly.

That made Lila start laughing as Karina's eyes went huge. He exchanged a glance with her.

"No way," Lila spoke. "This whole time you've been complaining about the Commission, and you're the one who founded it! Classic!"

"If I did, I have no memory of it," Five retorted.

Lila was still laughing. "So here I was thinking you were a maverick, but you're a company man, down to the bone. I mean, you…" She was hysteric. "You literally cannot breathe without this place!" She laughed some more.

"Something's not right," he remarked. "I don't have paradox psychosis. I could feel it outside, but in here, it's…nothing." He looked around in confusion, feeling Karina join his side and he felt himself relax a bit.

"Never were too bright, were we?" old Five suddenly rasped out. "The operations bunker is…paradox-proof." He strained to inhale. "I constructed it as a panic room in case of a collapse in the time continuum. In this room, all permutations of yourself can exist. You must be here because of a…Kugelblitz."

"Is that like a cheese blintz?" Lila questioned.

"It's German for "ball of lightning"," Karina responded softly and shakily.

"It's an extra kinky kind of black hole," younger Five added.

"The kind that can suck up entire timelines," Lila caught on.

"Bingo," old Five confirmed.

"So, how do we fix it?" younger Five wanted to know.

Old Five gave a raspy chuckle and coughed. "You don't."

"If you created all of this, then you must have created a solution," Karina pointed out calmly, feeling younger Five grow rigid next to her.

Old Five's eyes flicked to her and widened. "Rina…my darling…it's…been too long…" he wheezed softly as he gazed at her. Then he coughed again, whimpering in pain. "All that will be left is…oblivion." He coughed, inhaling and gasping.

"Oblivion? What do you mean?" Lila leaned forward and accidentally triggered something.

The bed slid out to reveal old Five's fragile body with a missing arm and an unexplained tattoo on his chest. The three stared at him in slight horror.

"This is what you have coming," old Five croaked out.

Young Five was getting irritated by the minute. "Listen to me, you ass," he seethed dangerously, going over to him."I just spent the last 20 days running around saving the world from apocalypses, only to keep trying to save the world. Now I am stuck in this pubescent body, my hormones are raging, and all I wanna do is go out and buy a 1970s Corvette Stingray and take Rina to retire someplace quiet!"

"Take it easy on him, Five," Lila warned him.

"Lila, this is between me and myself, so stay out of it!" he snapped at her. "Thank you." He slowly turned back to his older self. "Now, this Kugelblitz, it is not some tiny leak that we can simply fix by patching a couple of pinholes. It is a giant trash compactor which is grinding up the universe and consuming it whole. So tell me how you stop it!"

"Five, my love, calm yourself," Karina slightly peeled him away.

Younger Five let out a heaved breath, trying not to lose his temper as a whole.

"Whatever you do…to save your world…" old Five choked out as a heart monitor beeped louder. "…Don't save the world."

The heart monitor beeped rapidly. Old Five croaked and his eyes twitched some before his head collapsed back and suddenly the device powered down.

"What do you mean, don't save-Five!" young Five shouted at him as the electricity powered down.

Lila and Karina looked at one another rather sorrowfully.

"How do I fix this?" Five demanded.

Lila reached out to feel old Five's neck. "He's dead, Five."

Five was in disbelief and his head was racing with a million questions needing answers. He was staring down at the dead body, speechless and desperate. He sharply inhaled, fighting not to cry and Karina slowly stepped over to him in concern.

"Can I have the room?" he requested, making her pause in her tracks.

"Er…I don't think I should leave you three alone," Lila said, assuming she was the only one being kicked out.

In fact, deep down, she hoped Karina would stay and help him.

"Lila, I need the room," Five insisted, leaving no room for protests.

Lila gave Karina a concerned look before she left. Karina was about to leave as well, but he caught her hand.

"Please don't leave me," was all he could manage to whisper.

She nodded, letting him draw her over to his side. "How can I help?"

"Being with me is enough," he kissed her cheek softly. She gazed down at the body sadly.

"Son of a bitch," Five muttered. He eyed the tattoo on old Five's chest curiously. "What's this?" he flicked his pocket knife open.

He cut the flesh with the tattoo from the body and tucked it away.

"Ready whenever you are," he looked at Karina.

She nodded as he took her hand and the two left the room to get back to Lila so they could all return home.

~ * ~

#the umbrella academy #five hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #allison hargreeves #ben hargreeves #diego hargreeves #luther hargreeves #tua #viktor hargreeves #aidan gallagher #tua season three #tua s3 #tua five #tua fandom #tua fanfic #lila pitts #number five

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btsqualityy · 4 years ago

Text

Assuage: Chapter 23

Yoongi x Reader

Genre: ABO (Alpha/Beta/Omega) dynamics, angst, fluff, smut, enemies to lovers

Warnings: Detailed violence, weapons, fighting, and bloodshed

When you woke up the next morning, it was to light shining through your curtains and to a shiver running it’s way up your spine. Groaning, you sat up onto your forearms, blinking your eyes open and that’s when you saw Yoongi.

He was standing in front of the full length mirror that sat in one corner of your bedroom, strapping a piece of padded chest armor onto himself. He was dressed head to toe in black, even down to the heavy black rings that littered his fingers. His shirt was long-sleeved, he had on long and thick pants, and the black combat boots on his feet were laced up tightly. He even had leg protectors strapped onto his calves.

“Hey,” you called out and he turned to look over his shoulder, a gentle smile coming onto his features when he saw you, still completely bare from last night and the blankets on your bed were the only things covering you up.

“Hi,” he replied, turning around and pacing over to the bed, sitting on the edge closest to you. “It snowed last night.”

“Did it?” You asked and after he nodded, you looked over at one of your windows and indeed, saw the steady fall of snow. “Great, just another thing for me to worry about.”

“I put on extra layers, relax,” he chuckled.

“That’s one thing that I’m not going to be able to do today,” you huffed in reply. “Have you eaten?”

“I was just about to, after I finished getting ready,” he said. “I was having trouble putting this on.” He held up his hands and it was then that you noticed the roll of black, cotton hand wraps in his grip.

“Let me get dressed and I’ll help you,” you promised him and with that, the two of you went your separate ways. After washing up and getting dressed a simple sweater and dark jeans, you walked out of your bedroom and down the hall into your kitchen, where Yoongi was eating galbi with a side of kimchi.

“Here, move,” you said as you walked up to him and before he could reply, you were moving his arm out of the way so that you could sit yourself down in his lap. Grabbing the tape that was now sitting on the table, you unwrapped it and grabbed his left hand to start rolling it onto his fingers.

“You alright?” He questioned after swallowing a bite and you just shrugged.

“Better than last night but still worried,” you whispered. “Still scared.”

“I know,” he sighed before opening his mouth for another bite of food. The two of you continued on like that, you making sure that his hand was wrapped properly while he continued to eat his food while watching you. Once he was done eating, that was when you moved onto his right hand.

“Where are you gonna be today?” He asked you suddenly and you kept your gaze on his hand as you answered him.

“In the infirmary,” you replied. “Knowing Seo-hyun, there’s probably gonna be a lot of injuries so I’ll have my hands full dealing with those as they make their way back here.”

“You’re gonna be handling all that alone?”

“No, Tae and Jimin are gonna be there with me too, as well as some other pack members,” you said. “A lot of people here are somewhat medically certified, so it’ll free me up to deal with more...serious injuries.”

“And what about Hyorin and Jin?”

“They’re both gonna have their hands full reassuring families today, no doubt,” you murmured. “Especially Hyo, with her being Pack Omega. People are gonna look to her for guidance today while Joon’s gone.”

“Should she be doing that though?” Yoongi wondered “I mean, she just gave birth a week ago.”

“As her physician, trust me when I say that I wish she would stay in bed,” you huffed. “But she has responsibilities.”

“Damn,” Yoongi muttered and you just sighed heavily as you wrapped his hand one last time before pressing it down.

“All done,” you announced and he raised his hands up, inspecting them.

“Thanks,” he smiled. “I had no idea how to do that shit myself.”

“Well, I’ve had a lot of practice,” you responded. “During the first war, I used to do my own and do Joon’s too because he’d be too shaky.”

“Namjoon, shaky?” He chuckled. “He always seems like a wall of steel.”

“Seems hard to believe I know, but he’s only like that because he feels like he has to be,” you said. “Comes along with the territory of being Pack Alpha.”

“I guess,” Yoongi replied and just then, a loud horn sounded throughout the territory. Yoongi felt your body freeze and he felt his heart break because you both knew what it meant. “Well, that’s me.”

“Yeah,” you nodded, standing up off of his lap and allowing him to stand up. The two of you walked over to the front door then, where Yoongi turned around to look at you as he grabbed your hands in his.

“I want you to be safe and take care of yourself today,” he told you seriously as he rubbed your wrists with his thumbs, scenting you. “I know that you’re the Pack Physician, but you don’t have to be Superwoman.”

“I’ll try,” you agreed easily, feeling comforted by the fresh water scent that was falling over you. “You remember what you promised me.”

“I will, I promise,” he swore, letting go of your hands and setting his hands on your cheeks. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you whimpered, gasping lightly when he kissed you passionately. You reached down and set your hands on his abdomen, clutching onto the padding that he was wearing in an effort to pull him closer to you. Just as you felt his tongue prod at your mouth and you were about to open your mouth for him, the loud horn from a few minutes earlier sounded again.

“Be safe,” you whispered against his lips.

“You too,” he murmured, pressing one last kiss to your lips before turning around and swiftly walking out of the door. As soon as the door clicked shut and you could hear the sounds of his boots walking down the front steps, a harsh sob slipped from your lips as tears began to rush down your face.

You had been trying to stay strong for Yoongi and you knew that he wouldn’t have left if he saw you crying like this, which is exactly why you waited until now to do so as you walked over to the couch to allow yourself a few minutes to be upset.

However, about a minute later, you heard a knock at your front door. Furrowing your eyebrows, you got up and wiped at your face while you walked over to the door, making sure that you were somewhat under control again before you pulled it open.

“Joon?” You said in confusion, the loud horn going off once again in the background. “What are you doing here? You have to go.”

“I know, but it didn’t feel right to leave without coming to talk to you first,” he huffed as he pushed past you to walk inside. You shut the door behind him, turning around to face him afterwards.

“Talk to me about what?”

“The succession law,” he said and you immediately shook your head because you knew where he was going with this already.

“Joon, no,” you stated firmly.

“Y/N-ah, I need to know that if anything happens to me, the pack will be ok,” he said

“And you know that if anything were to happen to you, Hyo would takeover,” you shot back.

“Hyo only took the title and the responsibility that comes with it because she loves me and wanted to be with me,” he explained. “And while she’s amazing at it, we talked it out and we’d both be more comfortable with you taking over if worst came to worst.”

“Why me?” You questioned lamely.

“You know why Y/N-ah,” he smiled softly. “You were born for it and as much as you try to fight that, you know it as well as I do.”

“Joon, I don’t know,” you sighed.

“Y/N-ah, you know that I wouldn’t even ask if it weren’t serious,” he pointed out and you just looked at him because he was right. For Namjoon to even come to you and basically admit that there was a genuine concern that he wouldn’t make it today, then it was indeed serious.

“Alright, I’ll do it,” you relented.

“Thank you,” he grinned. “I just have one more request.”

“What?”

“If anything happens to me, look out for Hyo and the girls?” He asked and your eyes widened.

“Joon, if there’s something that you’re not telling me,” you began but he shook his head.

“I’m not going out there hoping to be killed but it’s Seo-hyun Y/N-ah,” he spat. “You’ve seen what he did to Eomma and Appa, Hobi’s mom, hell even to Yoongi. He hates me and he will not hesitate to kill me if he gets the chance.”

“So then don’t give him the chance!”

“I’m not going to but things happen in war that you don’t expect all the time,” he explained. “If I fall, Seo-hyun is going to go for Hyo and the girls and you know how the old laws work.” Dating back to the old days, if packs were taken over, their Pack Leader was often killed and their mate, if they had one, was either forced to mate with the new Pack Leader or killed because of their association to the former Pack Leader. Children often suffered the same fate, which is why you could understand why Namjoon was worried.

“I’ll protect them,” you promised. “You have my word.”

“Thank you,” he sighed in relief, and the horn sounded again outside. “Alright, I have to go but I love you, ok?”

“I love you too, so much,” you whimpered as you rushed forward and threw your arms around him in a tight hug. He hugged you back as well, chuckling lightly as he set his hand on the back of your head.

“My strong baby sister,” he whispered. “You got this.”

“You too,” you replied quietly as you unwrapped yourself from around him. He placed a quick kiss on your forehead and just like Yoongi, he hurried out of the door. As you watched him go, you found yourself murmuring a silent prayer to the ancestors asking them to watch over two of the most important people in your life.

...............................................

“There you are!” Hobi exclaimed and Yoongi turned his head to watch Namjoon jog over to meet them. They were currently in a pasture that had been cleared out especially for this war, and it was only about a mile away from the territory of the Kim Pack.

“Sorry, I had to tie up some loose ends,” Namjoon sighed as he began to stretch. “Is everyone here?”

“All 50 of us, present and accounted for,” Hobi nodded.

“Good,” Namjoon smiled before looking at Yoongi. “How you feeling?”

“I’m ok,” he replied slowly. “A little nervous though.”

“I was too my first time out,” Namjoon said. “Don’t worry though, your instincts will kick in when someone comes at you.”

“Thanks, I guess,” Yoongi muttered. All of a sudden, the sounds of whooping and hollering began to get closer and everyone went on defense mode.

“Alright everyone, get ready,” Namjoon commanded in a deep tone and everyone feel into a single line, stretching all the way across the field. As the opposing pack got closer, Yoongi was able to see Seo-hyun and he wasn’t at all shocked to see a smirk on the son-of-a-bitch’s face.

“Remember everyone, be smart,” Namjoon shouted. “And may the ancestors protect us.”

“Well, well, well,” Seo-hyun shouted as he stopped right in front of Namjoon. “I see that you actually showed up. Are you sure that you still want to do this little pup, or do you want to rethink my previous offer?”

“I said that you’d have to kill me, and I meant that,” Namjoon stated firmly. “So do your best.”

“Oh, this is going to be fun,” he grinned before running towards Namjoon, Namjoon and the rest of the Kim Pack immediately reacting and drawing their weapons.

...........................................

“God damnit, they’re getting creamed out there,” Jimin muttered as he sewed up a wound on an Alpha named Ki-tae’s leg.

“Tell me about it,” you huffed as you cut into an Omega named Yumi’s shirt, exposing a large stab wound next to her belly button. Ki-tae and Yumi were only two of what were easily 20 pack members who had been to see you at the infirmary already, and the war had only been going on for an hour.

“Send me back out there once you’re done,” Ki-tae told Jimin and Jimin shook his head.

“You can’t go back out there, you’re gonna break these stiches,” Jimin said.

“I don’t care, they need me!” He exclaimed and Jimin looked over at you for help.

“If he wants to go, let him,” you sighed, the gauze that you had been pressing against Yumi’s stomach doing nothing to stop the bleeding. “They clearly need the help.”

“Fine,” Jimin whispered.

“Yumi, I’m gonna need you to bite down on this,” you murmured as you grabbed a thick towel and handed it to her.

“Why?” She questioned wearily. “You gave me something for the pain, right?”

“I did but this is a deep wound and it’s gonna hurt like hell,” you warned her. “There are some things that not even pain meds can stop.”

“Fine,” she whispered, sticking the towel into her mouth while you gathered a fresh needle and thread, preparing it to sew her up. While you did so, Taehyung burst into the room, making both you and Jimin look over at him.

“Guys, there’s something that you need to know,” Taehyung announced.

“What? What is it?” Jimin wondered.

“Remember how Baekhyun was one of the first ones to come in?” Taehyung asked and you both nodded your heads. “Well, he just came back not too long ago complaining of more pain and he seemed really insistent on it so I checked him out and look at what I found.” He held up his fingers, several smalls spikes clutched in between them.

“Those were inside of him?” Jimin gasped and Taehyung nodded.

“Seo-hyun’s pack altered their weapons to cause more damage and I don’t even think any of our fighters can even tell,” Taehyung explained. Your eyes widened at that because if Seo-hyun was doing that, then there was really no telling what was going to happen out there today. A loud gasp of pain from Yumi brought your attention back to her and you realized that she probably had spikes inside of her as well.

“You’re gonna want another towel,” you told her regretfully and she whined in protest and pain.

...........................................

“We’re getting creamed out here!” Hobi exclaimed as he pushed an Alpha from Seo-hyun’s pack away from him, punching him in the jaw when the man tried to run back up to him.

“I’m fighting along with you Hob-ah, I can tell,” Namjoon grunted as he used his knife to stab a man in the neck, pushing him down to the ground afterwards. As the two of them continued fighting, Yoongi and Jungkook were a few feet away from them, standing back to back as they fought off a pair of Omegas.

“This is so weird,” Jungkook grumbled as he hit the female Omega in the stomach, effectively knocking her onto her ass. “I’ve never hit a girl before.”

“Well, they’re trying to kill us so you might wanna get over that!” Yoongi huffed, narrowly dodging the knife that the male Omega he was fighting swung in his direction. Grabbing their wrist, Yoongi twisted it until the Omega cried out in pain before sweeping his foot out and knocking them down onto the ground. He then got on top of them, bringing his fist down against their face and effectively knocking the man out cold.

“I know his pack is strong but they’re taking us out a little too quickly,” Yoongi muttered as he watched Jungkook sink his knife into the female’s that he was fighting chest, making sure that she was no longer breathing before getting up.

“I’m gonna assume that this is why,” Jungkook sighed as he picked up the blade that the female Omega had been wielding, and Yoongi saw the small spikes sticking out of it.

“They altered their weapons,” Yoongi gasped. “Damn, that’s low.”

“At this rate, we’re gonna need a fucking miracle,” Jungkook surmised. Just as the words left his mouth, there were loud sounds of hollering that came from off of the battlefield. Everyone kind of stopped in their tracks to see what was coming and over the horizon, there appeared a large group of people.

“Holy shit,” Jungkook gasped.

“Who are they?” Yoongi wondered.

“They’re one of our brother packs, the Ims,” Jungkook told him.

“Looks like you spoke that miracle up kid,” Yoongi smiled. Seeing the Ims run onto the battlefield only served to piss off Seo-hyun’s pack because all of them began to fight with renewed vigor.

Yoongi ended up by himself in one corner of the battlefield, fighting off two Alphas who were honestly trying to give him a run for his money. As he did so, he managed to look over to his left and saw a sight that had his eyes widening.

Hobi was fighting a Beta, but he was on his back on the ground as he and the Beta struggled over a knife. Normally, Yoongi wouldn’t have blinked twice at them but the fact that Hobi was on his back made him nervous. It was a commonly known fact that if a wolf got knocked onto his back, he was done for. Yoongi figured that Hobi could hold his own, given the fact that he knew how amazing of a fighter Hobi was but when he saw the Beta punch Hobi in the face and almost knock him out, he knew he had to do something.

Abruptly using his knife to stab one of the Alphas in the arm and then using his elbow of that same arm to smash it against the other Alpha’s face, he waited to make sure both of them were out for the count before running over to Hobi. Without even thinking, Yoongi pulled another knife from his waistband and plunged it into the side of the Beta’s neck, killing him.

“Holy fuck,” Hobi huffed as he grabbed onto Yoongi’s outstretched hand to help him get up from the ground. “Thanks.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Yoongi shrugged before running off again. Before he could get far though, he heard the loudest and nastiest snarl that he was pretty sure he had ever heard in his life. When he looked for the source of the sound, his blood ran cold when he saw Seo-hyun.

“I told you pup, you didn’t want to do this with me!” He growled, using his hand to punch Namjoon dead in the face. Namjoon fell onto the ground and he didn’t make a move to get up, instead rolling onto his side as he coughed up blood.

“You wanted to die a noble death, then I am going to make that happen!” Seo-hyun shouted as he whipped out a knife and before he could plunge it into Namjoon, Yoongi sprinted towards them and kicked it out of his hands. Seo-hyun turned to look at him, an evil smirk coming onto his face.

“Oh, here’s my weak little Prime Alpha, trying to save his new Pack Alpha,” Seo-hyun cooed.

“You wanna see if I’m still weak?” Yoongi asked him. “Try me.”

“I’ll kill you.”

“If you get the opportunity,” Yoongi shrugged. Seo-hyun then let out a sudden shout of rage before rushing towards Yoongi. Luckily, Yoongi anticipated it and moved out of the way, causing Seo-hyun to stumble and Yoongi swung his leg out which caused him to fall down onto the ground.

“Am I still weak, you pathetic asshole?” Yoongi questioned before getting on top of Seo-hyun and delivering several quick punches to his face.

“You’ll always be weak to me pup,” Seo-hyun grinned as he grabbed Yoongi’s shirt, attempting to throw him off of his body. “Just like your uncle and parents were.” As soon as those words registered in Yoongi’s mind, he pulled another knife from around his thigh and held it against Seo-hyun’s throat.

“My uncle was great and so were my parents,” Yoongi seethed. “Of course, you couldn’t see past your own bloodlust.”

“If that’s what you want to call getting shit done, then so be it,” Seo-hyun spat. “Weakness runs in your blood and it was the fatal flaw for your family and it will be for you too.”

“I’m the one holding a knife to your neck, remember?” Yoongi pointed out, pressing the tip a little harder against his skin.

“And if you were gonna use it, you would’ve done it already before I had the chance to do this,” Seo-hyun smiled, pulling out a knife of his own and plunging it into Yoongi’s chest, piercing straight through the armor that Yoongi had on.

Yoongi gasped, his body leaning over to the right before he rolled off of Seo-hyun and onto the ground. As he did so though, he managed to cut across Seo-hyun’s throat which caused him to bleed profusely. Yoongi groaned loudly, clutching onto his chest with one hand as he looked over at Seo-hyun, who was pawing at his throat and that was when he noticed the knife in between the two of them.

Mustering up every inch of strength that he could, he attempted to drag himself over to the knife. Seo-hyun saw him and tried to do the same, although he appeared to be moving considerably slower than Yoongi was.

“I have to...get it,” Yoongi thought to himself. “I promised....Y/N-ah.”

However, despite how hard he was trying, Yoongi felt the world around him growing darker and he figured that everything would be ok if he just stopped and rested his eyes for a little while. So that’s what he did; he let his body fall onto the ground with a soft thud before letting his eyes slide shut.

Then suddenly, a loud Bang rang out into the air and then.....everything was silent.

...........................................

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#bts #bangtanarmynet #bts imagines #bts abo #bts suga #bts yoongi #yoongi x reader #suga x reader #yoongi smut #yoongi fluff #yoongi angst #suga smut #suga angst #suga fluff #bts smut #bts fluff #bts angst #bts x reader

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fanmoose12 · 3 years ago

Text

the devil you know

Сharacters: Hange Zoe, Levi, Moblit Berner, Zeke Yeagar, Armin Arlert

Genres: Action / Drama

Summary: Can you still miss a person, if everything you knew about them was a lie?

Сhapter 4/?

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Every single night, she was tormented by the same nightmare. Every single night, the same memory replayed behind her closed eyelids. She saw that fateful night, the night when she had decided she couldn’t keep pretending anymore.

It was the night before the great battle, and, as always, Levi fell asleep in her bed, curled around her body, holding on to her almost desperately, as though he was afraid that should he let go even for a second, she’d vanish.

Levi thought that his embrace could keep her with him. Hange wished for it to be the truth.

Getting out of the circle of his arms was a considerable effort, he held her too close, too tight, and Hange… Hange didn’t want to leave that sweet embrace. Levi was wrapped around her like a vice, he was a poison ivy that had its twigs engraved so deep it reached to the very depths of her heart.

Hange had to cut it out, to cut him out. And, by gods, was it an unwanted progress.

But after a few moments of quiet struggling, of silent curses and pants, she slipped out from his embrace and their bed. That small victory was well-earned, but not enjoyed. Hange felt her heart break the moment Levi’s arms were no longer around her. Without him, she felt so cold. With every inch she put between them, the ice that began covering her heart continued growing.

Next, she packed her scarce belongings. She wanted to take more, she couldn’t do it. Everything she’d take back home – her uniform with Wings of Freedom splayed proudly on the back, her heavy notebooks with dozens of notes and sketches done by her beloved assistant, that book Erwin had once given her, the scarf Mike had knitted for her, the flower Levi had gifted her, the very same one she treasured just dearly as the memory of him confessing after the gift had been presented, - all of it was going to be looked at and thoroughly analyzed. By her Marleyan comrades, friends and possible prosecutors.

She could take nothing that could be conceived as dubious, but that jacket, the one that was shared by both of them and still held his scent and warmth— she wasn’t strong enough to leave it behind.

So she put it on, praying for it to give her strength.

A long way home was awaiting her.

And Hange couldn’t leave without giving him, the one man she truly loved, a goodbye kiss.

“I know you won’t,” she whispered against his brow, her fingers caressing his hair with a feather light touch, “but please try to forgive me. It was out of my control, Levi.”

It was his fault too. When Levi came, the ground had been kicked from under her feet. And a simple mission turned into a tragedy.

When she gathered enough strength to leave the room, the hallway was empty. Hange knew it would be, she was familiar with the workings of Survey Corps like the back of her hand. She strolled through the well-known hallways without fear, trailing her hand along the walls.

The Military Headquarters back at Liberio was better built than this building. Even Warriors’ barracks, despite being designed to hold Eldians, were built so much better. Those buildings were sturdier, more technologically equipped, much more comfortable.

But, god damn it, she was going to miss Survey Corps’ headquarters, this shitty building that was situated in the middle of nowhere.

Compared to Marley, everything in Paradise was ancient, outdated, useless. But it didn’t stop her from loving that fucked up little island. It didn’t stop her from loving people that were living there, despite them being branded as monsters by her nation.

She turned the corner, took the stairs, and, at the end of it, just near the exit Hange saw a shadow.

She meant to duck behind the corner, to run and hide, but the form of that shadow was all too familiar, and she was just as familiar to that shadow. Hange had no choice but to stop and surrender to another cruel twist of fate.

“Squad Leader!” Moblit ran up to her, smiling and endearing as always.

Fucking hell, and Hange thought that saying goodbye to Levi would be the hardest task. However, Levi, at least, hadn’t been awake.

“Are you nervous, as well?" he asked, curiously peering into her eyes. Was she nervous? That was an understatement. "Personally, I can’t sleep! I’ve been thinking and thinking, and I even wrote a letter to my Momma, do you remember her?”

Of course, Hange remembered Moblit’s Momma, the soft and caring Mrs. Berner, a far kinder woman than Hange’s Momma was.

“I told her about our mission and how proud I am for participating in it. And… I added a second part, the one that would be sent in case…”

“No.” Hange shook her head resolutely, her hands clenching into fists. No, no, no, she refused to even entertain that foul idea. Impulsively, she took a step forward, circling her arms around her sweet assistant. “No, Moblit,” she repeated, voice muffled by his shirt. If he heard the quiet sniffling, Hange didn’t care. Moblit never minded her eccentricities. “You will survive. You will survive this shit and the next one you will undoubtedly face. You will make your Momma and everyone else around you proud.” You will make me proud. “And you will leave a glorious, happy and long life. You promise me?”

“Squad Leader…”

“Promise me!” she demanded, bordering on desperation.

In that moment, the dream always divided from reality.

In reality, Hange waited until he had given her a promise, and then feigned exhaustion, leaving Moblit to use another exit. But in a dream, Moblit made her stay, coercing her to have a cup of tea with him. And in the candle-light lit mass hall, they met Erwin, then Levi joined their impromptu party, gluing himself to her side and blinking sleepily at everyone who had gathered.

In a dream, Hange never left. She stayed under Moblit’s care, was guided by Erwin’s wisdom, was surrounded by Levi’s love.

And that’s why that dream was a cruel, excruciating nightmare. It showed her things that could never be. It showed her the future she desperately wanted to come true. Escaping from the clutches of that fantasy was hard, painful. And if that was complicated….

Well, waking up in that bed was pure agony.

Every single morning, Hange woke up lost and disoriented, and had to spend a few long moments, making sense of it all.

Her first instinct was to stretch her arms, to yawn and reach out – to warmth and comfort, to loving embrace, husky voice and reluctant kiss. To him. To everything she had lost. To everything she never actually had.

But she was alone in that bed.

There was no Levi, lying next to her, complaining about her morning breath. There was no Squad Leader Hange, no four-eyes , who would smile and start singing in Levi’s ear.

There was only she, a broken, empty shell of a person.

A Marleyan who fell for an Eldian. A war chief that devised weapons for her enemies. A fool with twisted loyalties and convoluted goals.

She betrayed her homeland, she didn’t have a home.

She was abandoned by her fellow countrymen, was rejected by the people closest to her.

But, strangely, as pathetic as she was, as miserable and wretched, she was not alone. Even in her sorry state, despite her vile betrayal, she still had a friend.

He was by all means her enemy, a monster and a devil, and yet he saved her life more times than she could count.

Even now, when her lies had been discovered and her villainy uncovered, he remained by her side, continued to care for her.

If all Eldians were truly as monstrous as she had been told since her birth, then how to make sense if the existence of one extremely brave, inexplicably kind Moblit Berner? Hange, as genius as she was, couldn’t understand him, couldn’t explain why someone as good and bright as him had decided to stick with her.

“Good morning!” he walked into her room with a smile, carrying her breakfast on a plate.

He had been repeating the exact same routine every day for the past month. He had been doing this ever since Erwin had appointed him as her assistant.

In that room, that bed, nostalgia, memories and regrets were impossible to escape.

Hange tried telling Moblit that he didn’t have to this, didn't have to care for her as though she was still his comrade. But Moblit was relentless. And she was too lonely and miserable to cut off the only kind soul that remained loyal to her.

“I managed to get your favorite biscuits this morning,” he continued, moving around the room to put the cutlery down on a table and open the curtains to let the sunshine in. “Almost got in a fight with Sasha because of it.”

Despite herself, Hange snickered. Moblit always had that kind of an effect on her. He possessed the uncanny ability to cheer her up with a simple, but heartfelt and caring gesture.

There was only one other person who was better at it than him. But after everything that happened between them… the hell would freeze sooner than she would hear praise and a comforting word from him.

Waving those sullen thoughts away, Hange stretched her arms and rose from the bed. She followed the sweet aroma of biscuits to the table Moblit had set for her.

“Any updates on Gabi and Falco?”

That was the first question she asked every morning. And every morning, Moblit gave her the same disappointing answer.

“I’m sorry,” he ducked his head solemnly. “We didn’t manage to locate them yet.

Hange expected as much. And yet, the lack of news still troubled her. Where were fierce Gabi and adorable Falco? Were they—

She shook her head, pressing lips together. Of course, they were still alive. They were candidates, the best of all best. Mentally repeating that mantra a couple of times, she forced her mind flow into different direction.

“What’s our plan for today?” she asked through a mouthful of biscuits. “Are we going to work on a new uniform again?”

Working on that project was fun. Having Mobllit as her assistant once again was fun. In the moments, when her brain was too occupied with an idea, she could almost pretend that everything was normal. That she was Squad Leader Hange, working with Executive Officer Moblit on a new project. Sometimes, Hange got so lost in that little game inside her head, she even expected for the door to burst open to let a grumpy Captain inside. But, of course, that couldn't happen.

These distant memories, they were comforting. They reminded her of the rare times in her life when she was truly happy. But the past... was in the past.

“Eh, you see…” Moblit raised a hand to his head, scratching the back of it with an apologizing smile. “Armin asked me to look into something. I was actually wondering if you would like to accompany me. I bet you’re getting sick of spending days in these four walls.”

She was starting to feel like a wilting flower, that was true. It would have been nice to go outside. However…

“Am I even allowed to leave this room?”

Moblit winced. “I’m not really sure about it… But I was assigned to look after you. I think it wouldn’t hurt if you go with me. Besides…” he sat on the chair next to her, looking at her almost pleadingly. Oh, Moblit and his perfect puppy eyes, Hange could never resist them. “I’d like to have your company. And, perhaps, your advice as well…”

“Advice?” Hange frowned. “On what? What is your task about exactly?”

“Don’t know if I can tell you,” nevertheless, Moblit leaned in, lowering his voice to a whisper. “But they found out that one of the volunteers, Yelena, has been conspiring with Eren. They asked me to interrogate the other volunteer.”

“Oh?” that sounded both ominous and intriguing. Hange curled her lips into a grin and raised an eyebrow. “You want me to use my interrogating skills?”

“No!” paling slightly, Moblit frantically lifted his hands, shaking them from side to side. “No reaping out nails, please! No threats of bloody violence! Just… talk with him.”

She almost forgot how easy it was to tease and embarrass Moblit. Oh, how Hange missed him.

“Alright, I’ll do my best to control the violent urges,” she winked at him, laughing at his scandalous face. “And thank you for inviting me. It’s been ages since I saw the world outside that room.”

“There is another thing I have to ask of you...” Moblit cast his eyes down, playing with the sleeve of his coat. “Technically, I’ll be representing Survey Corps, so…”

Oh. Hange shifted her gaze to the wardrobe, where her old uniform was still hanging. That feeling inside her, she couldn’t quite identify it. Was it shame? Or trepidation?

She showed nothing of it to Moblit. As their eyes met, she faced him with an easy smile.

“Sure, I don’t mind. I do wonder if that thing still fits me.”

“It is. It always will.”

The remark was short, it could be read as meaningless. But Moblit’s voice was deep and gravely, full of conviction. Hange tilted her head, stealing a moment to study him more closely. He looked back at her, his hazel eyes honest and kind.

A lump in her throat was thick enough to make it hard to breathe. It brought tears to her eyes. Hange closed them tightly, to keep the tears from falling down.

“I need a moment,” she murmured, facing away from Moblit, “I’ll be ready in five.”

“I’ll be waiting in the hallway,” he said and let her be.

___

Walking through the streets of Sina was both pleasant and excruciating.

Feeling the sun on her cheeks and the wind in her hair after so many days of being confined to a one single room was enjoyable, enough to put a smile on her lips. And Sina, so very different from Liberio, was a lovely city with interesting architecture and narrow clean streets.

But these places were too familiar, the alleyways etched into her mind too deeply. And the uniform… the long green coat fitted her too well, and, at the same time, suffocated her. The shiny Wings of Freedom were burning her even through the clothes.

This proud emblem, it wasn’t hers. She wasn’t worthy of wearing it.

And the looks people had been given her, the awe and pride— fuck, Hange would rather prefer they cursed and flanged stones at her.

“Their smiles make me uncomfortable,” Moblit confessed. “They used to throw shit at us after every expedition. But now that Eren has killed a bunch of people, they suddenly decide that we’re heroes.”

“You always have been heroes.”

You, not we. There was nothing heroic inside of her.

“Remember that tavern?” Moblit’s cheerful voice and excited expression didn’t chase away the shadows completely. But the shadows took a step back, frightened by his light. “We had a glorious fight with MPs there.”

The fond memory brought laughter to her lips. “You almost got your arm broken in that fight.”

Moblit chuckled along with her. “Thanks to you I didn’t. I thought that punch of yours would get that guy obliterated.”

Hange touched her knuckles tenderly. Moblit was right, that was one hell of a punch. If she closed her eyes, she could almost feel how the force of the hit had reverberated through her skin, tendons, muscles and down to the bones. Perhaps, that time, she had overdone it. She always had troubles reining in her anger.

“And remember that guy Captain Levi kicked? I see him around from time to time. Because of his broken jaw, he still has trouble speaking clearly.”

Ah, Hange remembered that guy as well. He was red-headed and had an ugly moustache. He also left a nasty bruise on her cheek. Levi’s kick to his jaw was a payback for that.

“Those were the times, huh?” Moblit nudged her, offering a kind smile.

Hange averted her eyes, feeling her lips quiver. Yeah, those were the times. Distant times, now they seemed more like a dream. A dream Hange wouldn’t want to wake up from.

Sensing her discomfort, Moblit steered them to the side, taking their conversation in another direction as well. “Speaking of Captain Levi, I sent him the new uniform. He wrote back that he liked it.”

The uniform she accidentally created with Levi’s size in mind. It was in no way intentional. She thought of Survey Corps’ soldiers when she was making a design. And in her mind, the perfect example of the scout was Levi. She was surprised she still remembered his size. Although, considering how much time she had dedicated to studying his body…

The new uniform was a sudden project, a product of the abundance of free time on her part. She wasn’t going to show it to anyone. Even Moblit found out about it by pure accident, when he stumbled upon her crude drawings. She was surprised he liked it. She was surprised Levi liked it. Did he really, though?

“He actually wrote so?”

“Well, he wrote that it could be useful, and in his words…”

Oh. As high praise as one could get from Levi.

“You write to him?” truthfully, that was another surprise for Hange. She didn’t remember Moblit and Levi have any sort of relationships, especially this close.

“We talk a lot,” Moblit shrugged, looking anywhere but at Hange. She was starting to wonder why, but his next words quickly unveiled the mystery. “Technically, we’re the only adults in Survey Corps, and after you left, we… found that we have a lot in common.”

Well. At least, her betrayal had one good outcome. It gave birth to a new friendship. And destroyed several old ones. Hange winced at the last thought.

“Oh, look where are we!” Moblit once again pulled her out of the abyss with his clear, loud voice. The wonder, added to it, however, seemed a little bit too faked. As smart and sharp as he was, Moblit could never excel at lying and pretending.

Not like she did.

Forcing these thoughts away, Hange followed the direction Moblit was pointing at. She couldn’t help but smile at what came into her sights.

Sina’s pastries. The best bakery in the city. In Hange’s humble opinion, the best bakery in the whole damn world. The one they had back at home, on the corner of the street in Liberio, right next to her apartment, didn’t even compare.

Just looking at the sign made her mouth fill with saliva.

“Moblit,” she grasped at his sleeve, her hold desperate. Her eyes were still trained on that shiny sign made in cursive. “Moblit, I know I’m asking a lot—”

He grinned. “Want me to get you that cherry pie you loved so much?”

Oh god, yes. Right now, Hange wanted it more than anything else.

“I understand it if you can’t. I mean, I’m a prisoner from a foreign country. Isn’t buying pies considered to be treason in this case?”

Moblit chuckled warmly. He looked at her, and his expression was kind and gentle enough to make the saints weep. He curled his hand around her shoulder, and from the place where he touched her, warmth spread through her body. “I wouldn’t mind committing treason for a friend.”

Fuck. Hange felt it once again. Her heart squeezing painfully, her throat constricting, tears welling in her eyes. She had to shut her lids to keep them from falling down her cheeks.

Her eyes still closed, with her voice cracking, she asked, “Would it be weird if I give you a hug right now?”

“Don’t know. Is it weird that I really want that hug?”

Her sob turning into a giggle, Hange surged forward, falling right in Moblit’s waiting arms. He pressed her close, his palm patting her on the back. Hange buried her face in his chest and relaxed against him, inhaling his faint scent of citrus and cinnamon. Sweet and pleasant, just like Moblit.

What was she doing all that time, without him at her side?

Moblit smiled at her as they separated. Hange meant to smile back, but in that exact moment— her stomach gurgled. Loudly.

She cringed.

“So… about that pie?”

“I’m on it,” Moblit promised and darted to the bakery.

___

Perhaps, it was fate. It was destiny, divine intervention, that led her to this moment. To the wooden bench in the park, to the bird’s singing in her ear, to the sweet, heavenly taste in her mouth.

The pie was perfect, so much better than Hange had remembered. It was soft enough to melt in her mouth, leaving a pleasant aftertaste. It was sweet, but not sugary, the cherry toping adding slight bitterness.

Fantastic, the pie was fantastic. If Hange could, she’d stay in that bakery until the end of her days, devouring those phenomenal pastries until she exploded. Ah, what a happy death that would be…

Moblit observed her with an amused grin. “Did they not feed you at all in your Marley?”

“Not like this.” Hange managed, despite her full mouth.

Food in Marley was more diverse than on Paradise. They had more resources, they had a bigger variety of products and ingredients. But Hange was a soldier. She either ate at barracks or she cooked for herself at home. Food, made by army cooks, was nourishing, but lacking in flavor. And the dinners, prepared by her, almost always consisted of something quick and extremely simple.

The only place where Hange could eat to her heart’s content, where food was made out of the best, freshest ingredients and prepared by the most skillful chefs, was the official events, organized by the brass. And as the leader of the research facility, one of the most recognized war chief and the only child of her father, one of the Marleyan’s biggest heroes, Hange was always a welcome guest on these events.

But they were so boring that not even a promise of good food could make her sit until the end of them.

“Well, wait until you try Niccolo’s food. He is a true master.”

“Already did,” her stomach once again gurgled, this time the embarrassing sound was provoked by the memory of Sasha and Connie treating her to some of the maestro’s masterpieces. Sasha certainly was a lucky girl. “I ate so much, I thought I was gonna puke.”

“Yeah, I know the feeling,” bashfully, Moblit rubbed his neck. “The first time he made food for us, I was eating like the man starved. I was so ashamed, but then I looked around,” he chuckled lowly, a wistful smile tugging at his lips. “And realized I wasn’t the only one.”

“I see you had a lot of fun,” she said, swallowing the bitter taste in her mouth. She wasn’t one of them, and never was. The suddenly appeared sadness was foolish and unwelcome. She had her own friends back home. Perhaps, they still thought about her. Perhaps, they still cared. “And what about that guy you need to interrogate? Is he also an amazing cook?”

“No, he is a soldier, he taught us so much about your technology! He was the one who was in charge of controlling the airship we used to get to Liberio.”

So their new friend was a pilot? And, apparently, a skillful one at that. Navigating through Liberio during all that chaos was certainly a challenge. Hange wondered if she knew him.

“So what is the name of that ace pilot of yours?”

Moblit lifted his chin, something close to pride appearing in his gaze. "He really is amazing. His name is Onyakopon."

Hange's jaw dropped. Her precious pie almost dropped as well. Hadn't she misheard? Onyakopon? The same Onyakopon who had spent almost a year as her understudy? Who taught Hange how to pilot the plane? That Onyakopon?

Could it really be? Could they really meet here, after so many years, on Paradis of all the places? Or was it some other Onyakopon who also happened to be an ace pilot?

"Hange-san?" a worried crease lay between Moblit's eyebrows. "Are the two of you—"

"Don't know," she shrugged, promptly finishing the last of her pie. "Shall we go and find that out?"

Moblit nodded resolutely. Hange felt something like nostalgia stirring up inside her.

___

For a man who was supposedly under a close watch and a possible suspect, Onyakopon had the nicest of accommodations. Much better than Hange's single room.

The house was small, but cozy, surrounded by pretty garden and vast green fields. If one were to ignore the lonely guard who was munching on an apple in the shadow of the tree, the front yard possessed absolutely no flaws.

Hange immediately shared her observation with Moblit, telling it to him in a faint whisper.

"Let's hope Onyakopon isn't a traitor and we won't end up dragging him from this heavenly place," he answered her.

If their Onyakopon was the same Onyakopon Hange knew, they wouldn't need to take the drastic measures. He was a smart, honest and good man. And, judging by Moblit's set expression, he knew that too.

As they approached the house, a man came in their sights. Dark-skinned, tall and handsome, he was reading a book on the porch, a look of complete concentration on his face.

All doubt left her mind. It was the same Onyakopon. The bright, curious young man who wanted to learn from her and who taught her something in return.

At the sound of their footsteps, Onyankopon looked up. And recognized her too, from just one glance. As their eyes met, his grew in size, almost comically. So he didn't know she was there as well. Strange, Hange would have thought he overheard the commotion she had caused on their trip back to Paradis.

But, perhaps, Onyakopon was too focused on piloting the airship and keeping all of them alive.

"Hange?" his voice was no louder than the wind's song. Hange nodded swiftly, having troubles finding her own voice. She wasn't sure it would obey her. "Oh I'll be damned!" Onyakopon jumped to his feet and all but ran to her. He squeezed her elbows, peering into her face in disbelief. "I'll be damned, Hange! I've heard the talks about some Marleyan soldier, but I could never guess that it was you! No one told me that you were captured."

Well, captured might be a strong word to describe what happened to her. Levi didn't capture her, he simply caught her - unaware and unprepared. Hange saw the face that was haunting her dreams and didn't even think of fighting against him.

She thought that Levi came to kill her then. She was almost ready for him to do it, to finish it once and for all. Being killed by the humanity's strongest - was there a greater honor? Being killed by the man you loved so dearly - was there a bigger joy?

Gently, Hange pried Onyakopon's hands off her. "It's a very long story."

"I have—"

"You don't," Moblit took a step forward, partially hiding Hange behind his back. "We need to talk, Onyakopon. I'm sure you've already guessed why."

"Yeah. Your friend here," Onyankopon threw an accusing glare at his guardian who was enjoying the afternoon shade, not disturbed by their conversation. "Already warned me. Alright," he let out a defeated sigh, "Do you guys want tea or coffee? Maybe, some snacks?"

Moblit gave him a tight-lipped smile. "We've already eaten, thank you."

"I— I'll bring some tea anyway."

He disappeared inside the house without another word. Hange and Moblit watched him go, then, when he vanished from their sight, they shared a look.

"He doesn't seem nervous," Hange remarked.

Moblit seemed to be of the same opinion. "He looks rather disappointed. I really hope he is innocent. But..." he shook his head and mumbled, more to himself than Hange, "I was always bad at figuring out liars."

Ouch. If after everything she had been through, Hange still possessed a heart, Moblit's words would have dealt a fatal blow.

Alas... She felt but a small pang. It didn't make her wheeze with pain, only forced to cast her eyes down.

___

Onyakopon returned after a few minutes, carrying a tray with three cups on it. Jerking his head into its direction, he led them to a table on the backyard.

Once they all took their places, heavy silence hanged over them. Onyakopon was the one to break it.

"So, no offence," he tilted his head to the side, his gaze slowly switching between Hange and Moblit. "If this is the official business, then… why Hange is here?"

"It's a long story," Hange said at the same time as Moblit claimed,

"Hange and I have been working together before."

"Wait..." a frown appeared on Onyakopon's face. It was almost immediately taken over by the look of shock. "Are you telling me that the famed Marleyan spy I've been hearing so much about, the one who spent five years on Paradis and almost became the Commander of Survey Corps, is Hange Zoe, one of the brightest minds of Marley?"

"Something like that, yeah," Hange took a cup of tea in her hands, hiding her embarrassment behind it.

"Wow... that's certainly... a lot to take in. I heard so many things about you."

"Nice ones, I hope?"

The corners of Onyakopon's lips slid down. "Not really."

"Ah... Understandable, I guess."

"But if you're the famous betrayer, why are you here? Are you—"

"We've been working together for a long time," Moblit repeated. "I trust Hange's judgement."

"I have an exceptional talent of picking out bullshit. And," Hange grinned, the curl of her lips just this side of being feral. "I'm a master of reaping fingernails out."

Onyakopon promptly chocked on the tea he was drinking. Sending her the most disappointing of his looks, Moblit jumped out from his seat to help the other man to cough it all out. His panicked face did awake a bit of shame in Hange.

"It was a joke," she hurried to assure.

"A very bad one," Moblit grumbled, softly patting Onyakopon on the back.

"I see nothing has changed about you, Hange," after returning his breathing under control, Onyakopon raised his eyes, giving her a joyful smile.

Hange wasn't sure if his words held any truth, personally, she hadn't felt like her happy, curious and driven self from years ago, but, nevertheless, she answered his smile with the one of her own.

"Now, let's talk about you," Moblit returned to his place, sitting down on the opposite side from Onyakopon. His back was straight, his expression relaxed but solemn. He grew, Hange noted absentmindedly. He was no longer that timid, shy man she had met all these years ago. "Do you know what happened with Yelena?"

"I understand that she is in the same boat as I am right now."

"Not quite," Moblit retorted. "We've recently found out that she has been talking with Eren behind our backs."

Onyakopon put the cup down, his hands a little more unsteady than Hange remembered them to be. "I... didn't know about any of this. Do you know what they were discussing?"

"Commander Pixis and the others are attempting to make sense of it as we speak."

"And in the meantime you decided to interrogate me." Onyakopon's demeanor changed, his eyes flashing. "Have I not done enough, Moblit? For you and for the people of Eldia? Haven't we helped you enough? And yet, you still don't trust me. You come here with—" his gaze shifted to Hange, but whatever Onyakopon wanted to say didn't leave his mouth, Moblit's hardened expression stopping him.

"You know how hard it is to earn trust," Moblit spoke calmly. "Especially now. Personally, I don't think that you're involved in Yelena's dealings. But I have to make sure of it. Wouldn't you do the same, if you were in my position?"

"Besides," Hange chimed in, "Even Eren is imprisoned. Do you really blame them for not trusting foreigners?"

Onyakopon took his time before answering. His jaw clenched, as he fixed his gaze on the wooden surface of the table.

"Maybe, you're right," he said at last. At his admission, Moblit relaxed. But Hange knew that Onyakopon wasn't finished yet. "But I risked my life to help get Eren back. Doesn't that count for something?"

"Yelena took part in that mission as well." Moblit reminded.

"I'm not Yelena." Onyankopon harshly retorted.

Moblit scowled. Onyakopon was glaring back at him, hands crossed on his chest. Hange decided it was time to intervene once more.

"Are we thinking of the same Yelena?" she interrupted their staring contest, easing the air around both men. "Tall, blonde and absolutely crazy?"

Not taking his eyes of Onyakopon, Moblit nodded. "She also has a strange obsession with Yeager brothers."

"Ah," yeah, Hange knew her. How could she not? Yelena was... "A lovely girl. Even I get chills from her. I doubt that Pixis would be able to get something out of her."

"That what worries me," Moblit confessed, rubbing his temples. The gesture was familiar to Hange - Moblit always suffered from headaches when under stress. "The Queen is coming back soon. If we don't secure the capital..."

"Historia is coming back?" Hange wasn't aware of it. When she asked Sasha about a little girl that once was called Christa and then grew up to become a Queen, Sasha said that she was also getting ready to become a mother. Was bringing her to the capital a good call then? With everything in such state of disarray?

"It was her decision, not ours," Moblit explained. "When the Queen learned what is going in, she deemed it necessary to intervene."

"Hopefully, the Queen is loved more than Eren Yeager."

Yeah, that would be the best case scenario. For everyone - even Marleyans - involved.

"In these uncertain times..." Moblit hanged his head with a deep, weary sigh. "Hope is all we have. Thank you for your time, Onyakopon. We'll be heading back now."

Having said that, he stood up. Hange meant to follow his suit, but at the last moment, Onyakopon stopped her, catching her sleeve between his fingers.

"About what happened in Liberio," he stiffly began. "Marley destroyed my hometown," Hange solemnly nodded. She was forced to take part in that particular operation. She hated every second of it. "I can't and I won't forgive them for that. But..." his voice softened, his thumb rubbed comforting circles around her pulse point. "Liberio was your home as well. So I know what you're going through."

Taken by surprise, Hange blinked a couple of times, gawking at Onyakopon. She expected anger from him. In the worst case - pity. But he offered her only his understanding. She was grateful for that.

“Goodbye, Onyankopon,” she smiled sweetly.

“Hopefully, that wouldn’t be our last meeting.”

Hange could very well agree on that.

___

When they were back in Sina, the sun was already setting, painting the streets and buildings into shades of orange, red and pink. While walking through the town, Hange was once again reminded of how beautiful it truly was. The abundance of trees and flower bushes, the shiny cobblestone and petite houses added to its charm, making Sina look almost magical.

“Pretty as a picture,” Hange had once called it, during a walk through the town with Levi by her side. Her fascination, that careless mishap almost got her lie uncovered.

“You look like you’re seeing it for the first time, four-eyes,” Levi had thrown that line carelessly, but his had narrowed ever so slightly and his frown had deepened. “Didn’t you say that you have grown up in the city?”

In that moment, Hange had almost started panicking. She could almost see it too – Levi finding out the truth, Levi dragging her to Erwin, Erwin getting everything he could out of her, him, Mike, Nanaba, Moblit, Nifa, Keiji, Abel, Levi and countless of others feeling disappointed and betrayed. The story would have ended with her standing on the gallows.

Perhaps, this end would have been more merciful. But that day, her joyful, only slightly forced laughter and a meaningless ‘Don’t you know me, Levi? I always have my head up in the clouds?’ had saved her from the early demise. And doomed her to many years of torture, heartache and self-hatred.

“Hey,” a gentle hand on her elbow broke her out of the internal misery. Hange looked up, meeting Moblit’s hazel eyes. “It will take some time until we reach the headquarters. Can we talk in the meanwhile?”

“Sure,” she shrugged. “What do you wish to talk about?”

“I actually want to ask a question. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but…” Moblit trailed off for a moment, pressing his lips in a line. Hange smiled faintly, she knew that expression too – he always wore it when he was contemplating his next move. As soon as his mind was set, it vanished, the usual kind face returning. “I would like to know why… you came here in the first place.”

That was it? Hange almost exhaled with relief. She thought he was going to ask something truly awful.

“Didn’t I tell you already? Just like Hoover, Leonhart, Braun and Galliard, I was sent to retrieve the Founding Titan.”

“But you didn’t do it. You had countless opportunities to take Eren from us, and you never acted on any of them. So why did you really come here?”

That was… a question more complicated than Hange was ready for. She didn’t know what to tell Moblit, how much she was willing to share. She had never talked about this, not to a single soul. Her comrades and friends from Marley would never understand her anyway. But Moblit wasn’t Marleyan, he didn’t possess the same mentality. Perhaps, he wouldn’t judge her. Hange was counting on that.

Without another second spent on doubt, she began her tale,

“My father was a hero – a soldier, brilliant tactician, an even better politician. He was resolute, fearsome and absolutely merciless to his enemies. No surprise that many considered him to be an ideal Marleyan citizen. And I was his only child. Naturally, everyone expected me to be as brilliant as him. I began my training at the age of five, and by the age of twelve I was already a perfect soldier. However, that’s not who I wanted to be. I wanted to explore the world, to travel to distant lands, but as the child of my father, I had my whole life controlled by him, and then, when he passed away, by the expectations everyone had for me.”

Taking a pause, Hange chanced a look at Moblit, expecting him to be disgusted or annoyed by her whining. She had everything given to her on a plate, a bright future guarantied, and she still yearned for something more. It was pathetic, wasn’t it? She was pathetic. However, Moblit… didn’t seem to share that opinion. At least, his face didn’t show the signs of it. Instead of the outrage Hange had expected to see, she was met with sympathy.

It made the pain in her chest grew tenfold.

Nevertheless, she forced herself to continue.

“I could never decide for myself, my whole life was controlled by my father’s legacy. I wanted to break free of it, by whatever means necessary. So when I heard about the mission to retrieve the Founding Titan, I latched onto that chance, convincing the brass to send me there with the kids. But I’ve arrived earlier than them, and we got separated. And so… I decided to use that time to do what I always wanted. To study and explore.”

It was the most brilliant of her adventures. She loathed being a soldier and having to kill countless enemies of Marley. But there was no war at Paradis. The only enemies were Titans, and as much as Hange felt for their struggle, she managed to convince herself that she was killing them for their own good. That she was freeing them from their never-ending curse.

“No one knew me here, and I could be whoever I wanted to. And I liked being Squad Leader Hange, because Squad Leader Hange was allowed to be as weird and curious as I wanted. People here accepted me. For the first time in my life, I felt like I found the place where I belonged.”

Of course, that wasn’t true, a mere fantasy, a delusion on her part. She was a Marleyan, a child of the man who condemned thousands of Eldians. She had no place in their world. And yet, Hange was happy. It was the bitter truth she was afraid to admit for so long - she loved the persona of Squad Leader Hange. So much more than the persona of the Professor and war engineer, Hange Zoe.

But nothing could last forever. And when the time has come to return to Marley, Hange was devastated. She lost herself in playing her own game.

“That’s it, I guess,” she said, rolling her shoulders. Looking up, she saw they were almost by the stables where they left their horses in the morning. So deep inside her own head, she failed to notice how much time had passed. “I ran away because I was sick of my life back home. And I spent five years pretending to be someone else.”

“Were you really?” Moblit watched her, his gaze inquisitive. “Were you really pretending to be someone else, Hange-san? Or did you finally allow yourself to release your true self?”

That was… a scary statement. And much more loaded than Hange could deal with in that moment.

“I could be wrong, though,” Moblit shot her an innocent smile. Hange cursed under her breath, a true devil, that’s what he was. Getting her to admit to so much of her insecurities, Moblit surely had a talent for it. And to think he asked her to help him with interrogation. He seemed to be pretty adept at it himself.

“Stay here, I’ll bring our horses,” he started walking in the direction of the stables, but at the last moment turned away, and, meeting Hange’s eyes, added, “I’m glad that you took that mission, Hange-san. And I’m glad that I got to meet the real you. All of us are.”

Hange snorted, watching Moblit go. Perhaps, her father was right about something. Devils, all of them were. How else to explain the ease with which they wormed their way into her heart?

Her shoulders dropped as soon as Moblit had disappeared from her view, and she turned to stare at the setting sun. Certainly, it was one hell of a draining conversation.

But as her thoughts were still scattered in disarray, her heart felt so much lighter. She never shared this part of her with anyone, was afraid to admit it even to herself. But now she was glad she had finally done it. Perhaps, she should have done it a long time ago. Her life could have been easier then, the amount of regrets considerably lesser.

She swept her gaze around the plaza Moblit left her at. With the day coming to an end, not a lot of people were there. As far as Hange could see, the only ones still present were a happy mother with a two children, who were feeding the pigeons on the bench at the far side of the plaza, an elderly couple, and—

And a girl that sat at the edge of the fountain. The short stature, slumped shoulders, that luscious long black hair were familiar to the point of setting Hange's heart ablaze.

She couldn't see the face, was afraid to, but even so, Hange denied what her eyes saw. Surely, it was her imagination, her mind conjuring things that weren't there. This girl, she was—

A shadow, fathom. It couldn't be— it couldn't be her. Even the possibility of it was raising the hairs at the back of Hange's neck.

It wasn't Pieck, just a random girl. Hange was wrong, simply seeing things. Those familiar traits belonged to someone else. Pieck wasn't here, in Paradis, Pieck couldn't be—

"Hange?" she jumped, and whirled around so swiftly her head went dizzy. Before her stood Moblit, his eyebrows knitted together worriedly. "Everything alright?"

She exhaled with relief. "Peachy," she answered with a smile she didn't feel. Her eyes shifted from one side of plaza to the other, searching for the figure she had seen. But like all shadows do, she simply vanished.

"I brought our horses," Moblit gestured for her to follow him. Hange did, not looking back even once.

Even so, she felt someone's gaze burning into her back all the way to the headquarters.

___

"Sorry," Moblit stood at the threshold of her room, shifting his weight from one foot to another. "I need to report to Zacklay and Pixis."

His expression was nearly apologetic. Hange patted his shoulder, touched by his not so subtle concern. "Stop worrying so much, Mob. Nothing would happen if you leave me for one evening."

Moblit kept frowning, looking as unconvinced as ever. "I'll tell Sasha and Connie to bring you dinner,” he nodded to himself. “And if you need anything, just tell the guard to call for me."

"Alright, alright. Now go!" Hange gave him a forceful push. "And make me proud!"

She didn't get an answer out of him, but she did see a faint blush appear on his cheeks. That was enough for Hange to chuckle victoriously.

Once Moblit had disappeared around the corner, Hange shoved the door closed and leaned against it. It was an exhausting, eventful day. She wanted nothing more than to rest. She headed towards the bed to fulfill that exact goal.

But no sooner than she had seated down, she heard the knock on the door. Albeit quietly, it was repeated three more times.

Sighing, Hange stood up again and walked back to the door. She swung it open, expecting to see Sasha and Connie. She was hoping to get a warm meal inside while gossiping with the two teenagers. A second later, the door stood open. And Hange's throat was closed up.

On the other side of the threshold— there was no Sasha, no Connie. Only Pieck.

And so the shadow finally took form.

Pieck was dressed similarly to her, in the dark green uniform. Her hair was gathered in a low ponytail, a smile was playing on her lips. The subtle differences in her attire only added to the sense of disbelief.

At the sight of her lovely face, all air left Hange's lungs. She desperately tried to take a breath, opening and closing her mouth rapidly. She wasn’t sure for how long she would have continued gaping like a fish fresh out of the water hadn't Pieck taken the matters in her own hands.

"It's been a while, Hange," as always, she spoke in a quiet, sugary sweet voice. Usually it calmed Hange down. Now it was sending shivers down her spine. "Aren't you happy to see me?"

"Pieck," Hange meant to sound leveled, controlled. But even a single word came out shaky and unsure. "Pieck," she tried again, this time with more success. "What are you doing here?"

Pushing past Hange, Pieck walked inside the room, heavily sliding down on a chair. "Serving my country. Something you have forgotten about."

Pieck stared straight at her, hands folded in her lap, a picture of friendliness and innocence. But the smile Hange always found so endearing, now seemed almost chilling.

"Tell me, Hange, is this the part of your plan? Have you decided to use your old history with these people to destroy them from the inside? Or," Pieck paused, tilting her head to one side. She didn't look angry, or disappointed. If anything, she seemed simply curious. But the atmosphere in the room was tense, air electrified with trepidation. Hange knew Pieck all too well, she knew how dangerous the shifter girl could be. "Have you already forgotten what they did in Liberio, in our city? How they destroyed it? How killed thousands of men, women and children? These monsters almost killed Reiner, Porco," her voice wavered at the names of her dear comrades. But even then, she didn’t drop the unassuming façade. "And do you know what happened to Udo and Zophia? Have you seen what become of them?"

Stunned, Hange could only stare at Pieck. The words left her, her mind unable to come up with anything she could have used to explain herself.

Indifferent to Hange’s internal struggle, Pieck continued.

"Do you even care, Hange? About Marley, about us?"

"Of course, I do." How Pieck could even doubt that? Udo and Zophia, those bright, adorable children Hange couldn't quite imagine them being gone. "Pieck, you misunderstand, I've been captured, I'm not—"

"Don't make me laugh." Pieck interrupted curtly. "You have your own room, you walk freely through the town, you wear their uniform. Is this how they treat all of their prisoners? Awfully kind of them then, considering the monstrosities these devils committed."

"Pieck, listen—"

Pieck didn't want to.

"You always were a strange one, Hange," gracefully, the girl stood up, taking a step closer. With her hands behind her back, she started pacing, circling around Hange. "I could never understand what was going on inside your head. I still can't. But, naively, I thought that I knew you. That after years of fighting side by side, we grew close enough. And after the disaster at Liberio," she picked up a sheet of paper from Hange's desk, gave it a quick once over before disregarding it in favor of focusing her eyes on Hange once more. "I kept looking for you. I was so afraid to find your body under a fallen building or see you with a hole in the head. But you were nowhere to be found. Everyone was worried sick, the brass was livid - the devils from Paradis killed the Warhammer, took our Beast and now our brightest mind was missing as well. And then I remembered what I have seen during the fight. A short man approaching you, the same one who nearly killed Zeke, that Ackerman. I thought he had captured you, I thought you needed saving. Seems like I was wrong about that, huh?”

Even now, Pieck was keeping her calm. Despite the harsh accusations, her voice remained gentle, almost soothing. The smile was still in place, and her head was tilted up, peering into Hange’s eyes.

Hange did everything she could to escape that unsettling gaze.

“I also came to because I needed you,” Pieck continued. “I thought you would help me with my mission.”

Would she? Should she? Hange didn’t know. She knew what Professor Hange Zoe would have done. She knew what Squad Leader Hange would have done.

But what would she do?

“I guess it doesn’t matter. Whether you help us or not, the outcome will be the same. Paradis will fall, Hange. Consider it my only warning. If you wish to witness its demise alongside these devils, I won't stop you. But," without looking at Hange, Pieck laid a hand on her shoulder, giving it a firm squeeze. "If your decision ever changes, I'll be happy to fight by your side."

After that, Pieck left the room, closing the door softly on her way out. Hange, however, didn’t move, remaining frozen in one place, too stunned to follow after Pieck and demand a more thorough explanation.

However... what was there to explain? Paradis will fall. Plain and simple.

Right now, Hange couldn't quite believe it, although she was supposed to expect it. What could possibly happen to that little island after Eren's desperate rampage? But even before that, Paradis was already doomed. The events that transpired at Shiganshina proved to the outside world just how dangerous the Eldians could be. And Shiganshina was simply a plant that had grown out of the seed of Grisha Yeager's crimes.

There was no hope for Paradis. There never was.

Paradis will fall.

What could she do to save it? Could she do something, anything at all? Could she help them, expose her nation's plans? Could she betray her motherland like that? If she shared the truth with people of Paradis, would they even believe her? Would her people forgive her?

Hange didn't know. Her mind was in frenzy, her thoughts flying from one horrible outcome to the other. It was in that catatonic state that Sasha and Connie found her.

"Hange-san? Is everything alright?"

Hange looked up, meeting their bewildered gazes. In that moment she realized - she didn't want these kids to die. She didn't want for them to suffer any more than they've already done. And the others - Moblit, Levi - Hange couldn't bear the thought of them in harm. But—

She didn't want for her fellow countrymen to die as well.

Fuck. Why was everything so hard these days, why it was so damn complicated? When would her heart stop tearing into two pieces? Why was everything out of her control?

It was always an issue of hers, the lack of control. This time was no different. Caught between crossfires, Hange didn't know which side to choose. Perhaps then... she shouldn't choose at all.

Perhaps, she should take the back seat. Let everything transpire the way it was supposed to be. Let them fight, let someone win.

And so, with a heavy heart and troubled consciousness, Hange came to a decision. She would not alert Paradis about the threat hanging over them. She would not help Marley in their fight.

But there was another side to all of this. Another warning, another trouble that couldn’t be ignored.

There was a danger of Marley invasion, but equally disturbing was the events transpiring inside the Walls. Something was brewing, a storm ready to swipe everyone in its path. And Hange had a nasty feeling that at the center of it, two figures stood – Yeager brothers.

Nothing could be done about Eren, Hange had doubts that even his closest friends had a single clue of what was going inside the boy’s head, what dangerous ideas were forming there. But Zeke, Hange knew how to deal with Zeke. She also knew someone who could deal with him in the most efficient way.

She didn’t know what Zeke was planning. But she was confident that Levi would be able to find out.

She just needed to give him a little push.

“Sasha,” Hange smiled at the girl, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “If you would be so kind, tell Moblit to visit me before he retires for the night.”

Moblit had mentioned that he was corresponding with Levi. The time has come to use this detail to her and the world’s advantage.

The world as they knew was changing, perhaps, it was already at the brink of collapse, horrible destruction. What did Moblit say? In these uncertain times, hope is all we have?

In that case, her only hope was Levi.

#does someone still remember that fic? i for sure had almost forgotten about it jdfsdkhgsjgh #levihan

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royallyprincesslilly · 4 years ago

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Title: Hallow-Peen {One-Shot}***

Chris Evans x Reader

Warning: Cursing, Pregnancy Kink, Smut, NSFW, Exhibitionism, DO NOT READ AT WORK

Words: 4.1k

Summary: Halloween fun with Chris at a haunted house.

Note: Don’t judge me with the title. I was drawing a blank, and by the end, I had a better one, but I said what the hell let’s keep it. LOL. I hope you enjoy it. Happy Halloween!!

Thank you guys for reading!!!! If you enjoyed this please LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG. 😊 ❤️❤️

***Loosely Edited/Proofread***

Halloween in Massachusetts means one thing, no matter which part. Scary fun. Salem may be the place of the witch trials that took place, but the entire state of Massachusetts goes crazy for Halloween. Usually, every year Chris being the adorable man-child he is, he would beg to go trick or treating. He’d wear the most basic costume in the world, usually a different animal onesie, just to get as much candy as possible. Candy was his sole objective--well, candy, dressing Dodger up in a costume and seeing all the kids' costumes.

This year because of the pandemic, things are a little different. He decides that the only way he’ll be okay giving up the option for trick or treating is if you do something Halloween related. That was when he thought up going to a haunted house. You weren’t feeling like it because mother nature had the nerve to fuck everyone over and made it snow. Who wanted to get dressed in a costume that was probably most likely skimpy to freeze because she had the audacity to say, here humans take this? You were in a shitty mood, especially seeing that twenty-twenty was already at peak fuckry levels.

“Come on; you’ll be inside. It won’t be that bad,” Chris continued trying to convince you.

Even though you were doing your hair and makeup getting ready to go, he could tell you really weren’t feeling it. You looked up from your seated position in front of the bathroom mirror to see Chris come around the corner with a camera on.

“What are you doing, Chris?”

“Making memories, sweetheart.”

You rolled your eyes and went back to applying your mascara. You only felt like this twice a month. You knew this week’s irritability was only because of your body conspiring with mother nature and Chris to put a baby in you.

Chris came closer and placed a sweet kiss on your exposed shoulder then trailed it up to your neck where he took his time. Thanks to your traitorous body, you moaned.

“Don’t be mad. How about I put you in a good mood?”

Chris’s free hand wrapped around your stomach to rest possessively just below your belly button. The warmth from his hand felt so comforting and soothing, but it also felt more than that. When he sunk his fingertips into your flesh, you felt the carnal undertones.

“And just how do you plan on putting me in a good mood?”

As a response, Chris nibbled your earlobe and pulled you back against his body. The press of his hard frame against your back. Your body working against you hummed, making you moan again.

“I think you know just how I’ll put you in a good mood,” Chris whispered as his hand made it to the knot of your towel. With little to no manipulation, he had your towel falling to the floor. With lips pressed to your ear, he took a sharp inhale and moaned.

“You’re so beautiful, baby.”

From the mirror, you watched his eyes ravage your body. His eyes rested at your breasts for several long moments before they traveled down your body, only to stop again once he reached where your thighs met. The look on his face was that mischievous, aroused look. He slithered his hand up your sternum to cup one of your breasts before squeezing it. You both moaned in unison.

“Mm, I’m sorry, baby. I forgot,” Chris cooed as he gently tweaked one of your nipples between his fingers. A soft mewl fell from your lips.

That was when you remembered he was recording.

“Is there a reason why you’re recording me?”

A grin as wide as the Cheshire cat’s spread across his face before he licked his lips to bite his bottom lip.

“Memories.”

“You’re such a perv. How many of these memories do you have, sir?”

Chris shrugged nonchalantly as he peered off to the side as if he didn’t know an exact number.

“Two, Six, twelve somewhere in that ballpark,” he answered as he turned you and slid you back onto the sink. After a few seconds, he’d handed you the camera.

“What am I supposed to do with this?”

Chris again shrugged before he kissed your neck, then your shoulder. He trailed his lips down your body until your pert nipple was in his mouth. You softly sighed out and slumped back, resting against the mirror. Chris slowly swirled his tongue around your skin before he quickly flicked his tongue against your bud. Another moan escaped you. Moving your hand so he was in focus of the camera, you watched him through the display. Chris peeped up to you then quirked his brow before he gave you a small bite. The action sent your back arching, and you jutting out your breast to him like offerings on a platter.

When he pulled back, he had your nipple between his lips. When it slipped from his mouth, the jerk and sudden cool air had you groaning. Chris kissed a path across your stomach and dropped to his knees before you. Following him with the camera, you pushed it out of your mind that he knew you were practically powerless to say no. He knew that this week he could have you whenever however he wanted. The look he gave you before he fastened his lips to your sex said he knew it full and well. Jackass, you thought.

It was a brief thought because the sensation of his lips on your clit stifled any other possible thought than fuck yes. Your eyes briefly fluttered closed while your hand lowered, completely forgetting the camera within your grip.

“Sweetheart,” Chris murmured. The coxing tone in his voice had you looking at him again.

“At me.”

The way he said it was so sexy. Sinking your teeth into your bottom lip, you brought him back into focus on the camera screen again. that was when he kissed your clit in the slowest, most exaggerated way.

“Shit,” you rushed out. Chris softly smiled before he repeated the action two more times.

It was the that linguistically skillful tongue came into play. He licked, he flicked, he swirled, and he prodded. It was clear he wanted to tease you, make you so on edge that you would lose it. He was close to his goal. Keeping the camera on him, you got lost in the pleasure he was giving you. When you felt him dip his tongue into your heat, you brought your legs up to rest on the edge of the sink.

“Mmm, you taste better than candy, baby,” Chris said against your sex.

“So we can stay in tonight cause your trick or treat feast is right here.”

Glancing at you through the lens, he smirked then sucked your clit into his mouth again. This time he wasn’t so gentle. The pressure quickly built-in your gut, and within seconds, you were coming. Chris wouldn’t let you clamp his face between your legs. He had his hands pressing your thighs back to keep you where he wanted. When he didn’t release you once you’d finished, you felt another creep up on you, and that one wiped you out.

When Chris pulled back, his lips and beard were glistening, making you smirk. You watched him lick his lips clean, not wasting one drop, and you bit your bottom lip again.

“You’re the devil,” you joked, making him laugh out loud. The sound bounced off the bathroom walls and had your belly quivering.

Before he got up, he kissed your clit once more, making you arch again.

“I prefer puppet master,” he teased, quirking his brow. Asshole knew this was not nearly enough. He knew your body wanted more. Chris took the camera from then turned it to you.

“I could help you with that if you want,” Chris offered while palming his appendage.

You hated him. You were in the process of changing your birth control with the appointment scheduled for next week. This meant that you were birth control free, and Chris knew this. Ever since you’d had the talk where you both decided that you wanted to have kids together, you’d seen a whole different side of him. Every time you made love, it became apparent he had a huge pregnancy kink. He always made sly jokes that he’d put a baby in you. You found it funny the first few times, but you quickly realized he meant it. That was why you decided to get off the pill and opted for something more reliable that didn’t depend on you remembering to take it.

You not on birth control and ovulating was torture, and he knew it and played on it. Your eyes lingered at his hardness, and your mouth watered while your sex spasmed. You began to think and calculate if you could risk it. As if he knew it, Chris moved his hand so you could see the magnitude of his desire for you. Chris crept to you close enough for your hand to grip him. a groan escaped his lips as the camera he held was pointed at your hand, fondling him.

“He wants to say hello.”

Meeting his eyes, you watched him lick his lips, and you were closer than ever to risking it all. Using your feet, you pulled at the elastic of his shorts. In seconds, Chris was helping you, riding his hips of the material to stand before you bare from the waist down. Again, your sex pulsated, wanting his invasion more than anything. His dick rested on your pubis and spasmed every few seconds. You wanted him so fucking bad. Seeing you having difficulty making up your mind, he swiped the tip of his cock up and down your sex, nudging your clit. Every time he did, you whimpered. When you felt him circle himself at your opening, you almost wrapped your legs around his waist to pull him close. Almost. You closed your eyes, trying to find your strength.

“Do you want him to?”

Chris’s voice was husky. You bit your bottom lip and audibly gulped before you slammed your thighs shut. He didn’t need your words. Smirking, Chris nodded and backed off, pulling up his shorts. When Chris not so junior disappeared inside the shorts, you groaned.

“Fuck!”

Chris snorted, tapped the backside of your thigh closest to your ass. “Not yet, sweetheart, you’ll get there. Let’s go; Scott is ten minutes out.”

With that, he walked out of the bathroom. You already regretted your decision.

After finishing your makeup and hair, you put on your costume that was face mask compatible and walked into your living room to see Chris, Scott, and his boyfriend all waiting for you. Tens of pictures, a few posts to IG, a few tik toks, and countless sly ploys at teasing you, the four of you were off. With Scott driving and you and Chris in the backseat, you focused your attention on social media rather than the sexy man beside you with his hand on your thigh. Every so often, his grip would tighten then loosen only to do it again and again. With each tightened grip, you noticed his hand creeping higher and higher. He was not slick.

By the time you got to the haunted house, it was dark, and the parking lot was packing up. The four of you walked to the line and waited for your turn. Chris, with his surgical mask in place, hugged you from behind.

“You’re quiet. You okay?”

“Perfectly fine.”

He nuzzled your neck and moaned. “Cold?”

“I’m okay.”

“Let Dr. Evans know if you’re not.”

The man wanted to kill you.

It didn’t take long for your turns to come. After listening to the attendant shout out the rules, the four of you cautiously entered. You didn’t mind getting a little scared on Halloween. That was the point. As you walked through the entrance, you looked around at the décor that was clearly meant to be terrifying. The blood on the walls looked so realistic you paused.

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” Chris whispered before kissing your temple and taking your hand.

You walked along the designated path, taking in your surroundings. You knew the first scare would be coming up soon, and you wanted to be prepared.

“This isn’t so bad,” Scott said. You glanced at him; he was laughing as if this was the homestretch rather than the beginning of the torture.

As expected, someone dressed in bloodied slaughterhouse gear popped out of nowhere, revving his chain saw pulling a loud scream from you. Chris’s loud laugh echoed around you before you pushed him back when he draped his arm around you.

“Not funny!”

You walked ahead with the rest of them behind you, but not even four steps later, a trap door popped open, and out came a group of women dressed as the scariest witches you’d ever seen.

“Oh my god!” Your shriek was loud but not louder than Chris’s laugh.

Throughout the entire haunted house, there were jump scares galore. There were some that were scarier than others and some that had even Chris and the guys shrieking every now and then. Though you didn’t want to come out, you were enjoying the night. By the time you made it out, you were so glad to see the night sky.

“I can’t believe you guys got scared,” Scott teasingly said to Chris and his boyfriend.

“Those last few rooms really got me,” Chris replied.

“Not nearly as much as they got, Y/N.”

All eyes landed on you, making you cross your arms and pout. “I didn’t even wanna come,” you whined.

Chris snorted and approached you. “Poor baby. It’s been a hard night for her. we should cut her some slack.”

Rolling your eyes, you turned your back to them and saw another Halloween attraction.

“Ooh, is that a funhouse?”

“Yeah, it’s up for one night. I heard mention of it on the news,” Scott informed.

“Let’s go,” you blurted before walking off.

It wasn’t part of the plan, but why not, you thought. It didn’t take long to walk across the field to the funhouse that was nearly deserted. Once there, you were informed you were the last bunch for the night before they closed up and packed it up. Chris paid the entrance fee, and the four of you walked in.

“First one out wins,” Scott’s boyfriend said before dashing off to the right, leaving you and Chris to go left. You could hear him and Scott giggling like children until one of them tried to quiet the other.

After a few minutes, the four of you crossed paths, which had all of you laughing.

“They’re so cute,” you said to Chris once you were alone again.

“Yeah. They’re not the only ones,” he said, wrapping his arms around you at the same time the lights flipped, coating the entire funhouse in a black light that was usually used in some of the putt-putt golf places.

“This just got ten times spookier,” you said.

“I don’t know. I think it just got ten times better. I like you in the dark.”

You spun in his arms and kissed him. You’d been holding it in all night. Chris moaned and dropped his hands to your ass. His fingertips grazed the bare skin just underneath your ass, making you moan on his lips. Chris delved his tongue into your mouth to curl around yours before he began backing you somewhere. When your back touched a cold surface, you pulled away and slipped out of his arms.

That was when you saw it was a magic mirror. “Wow.”

You and Chris stood there as the mirrors began to move, changing design.

“Holy shit!”

Neither you nor Chris could stifle your laugh, hearing Scott and his boyfriend shout out in unison.

“Did you guys know the mirrors moved?”

“Nope,” Chris shouted back at them.

“This is fucking awesome,” Scott exclaimed as the mirrors stopped moving.

You and Chris continued on your path, searching for your way out of the maze. Every few minutes, the mirrors shifted, making it impossible to remember where you’d come or where you were going. Stopping, you spun around, trying to decide on the way to go. At that moment, you felt Chris’s lips on your neck, nibbling your skin.

“I can’t think when you do that.”

“Why do you need to think? We’re alone in here. I’m sure there are other things you can do besides think,” Chris coaxed.

“Oh, really? Like what?”

Chris’s hand came around to cup your clothed breast, making you melt against him. You could feel the beginning stirs of his erection pressing into your back.

“I love you, sweetheart.”

“I love you.”

“Little Red Riding Hood liked the big bad wolf, right?”

You knew very well where this was going. Smirking, you bit your bottom lip.

“I’m sure in the beginning in the forest, she thought he was okay.”

“Well, we can call this a forest,” Chris suggested, making you smirk.

“We could. The mirror forest. Why do you ask Mr. Wolf?”

Chris groaned by your ear then moved his hand to trail down your body to rest at your pelvis.

“This wolf is ravenous.”

If he only knew how hard it was to resist him and how ravenous you were right now too, you thought.

“Ravenous, you say? How so? You ate not too long ago, Mr. Wolf,” you countered.

“One taste is never enough. Can you help little red riding hood?”

Chris then bit your shoulder before dipping his hand under the hem of your too short skirt to make connection with your searing pussy.

“Fuck!”

“I told you this costume was trouble.”

“I was supposed to be wearing it around the house, if you recall. This was your idea,” you hammered home.

Before he could speak again, you pulled yourself together and dashed off.

“Tell you what, Mr. Wolf, you’ll have to catch your meal tonight,” you sang before disappearing.

You giggled as you dashed around corners. If it was one thing Chris enjoyed, it was chasing. When you were sure you’d made enough turns that would elude him, you leisurely strode through the funhouse maze, counting how long it took him.

“Little Red,” Chris sing-songed. “I can smell you, princess.”

“What do I smell like?”

“Mine!”

Chris’s voice was deep and menacing but in the sexiest way. Once he said it, you heard his footsteps speed and knew he was coming. Running behind corner after corner, you didn’t put much thought into the direction you were going. The exhilaration of the chase had you so excited that you didn’t even see him come from behind one of the corners until it was too late.

“Little red riding hood.”

The look in his eyes had your belly fluttering and your panties soaking. Slowly you backed away from him.

“My, my Mr. Wolf, what great big eyes you have,” you said.

“All the better to see you and your curves, little red.”

You smiled and watched him take one step to you, making you take another back that made him slide his tongue across his lips.

“My, my Mr. Wolf, what a long tongue you have.”

“All the better to lick you with, little red.”

He took two more steps to you. You only took one back. Your eyes dropped lower, your attention being drawn to the tent in his pants.

“Oh my Mr. Wolf, what a big cock you have.”

Chris smiled widely, eyes locking with yours, giving you that Gemini Flanagan smolder.

“All the better to fuck you with, little red.”

Once the words escaped his lips, he pounced on you, lifting you into his arms then pressing your back against one of the mirrors. His lips found yours and took control of a searing, soul-sucking kiss that left you so breathless you were at the point of risking it all.

“Fuck it,” you grunted out. You could feel Chris smiling on your lips.

His hands slid down, cupping your ass underneath the red skirt you wore. When you felt his fingers glide against your sex, you whimpered.

“You’re so wet. Is this all for me?”

You quickly nodded your head, no longer interested in keeping him at bay. You wanted to feel him, and you didn’t want to wait.

“Fuck me!”

“Here?”

“Now!”

Not needing to be told twice, Chris slipped your panties to the side with one hand and opened the fly of his pants, letting lose what your disloyal body craved. In a matter of seconds, Chris plunged his cock into you, sheathing himself to the hilt. You shrieked out but bit onto his shoulder to stifle the sound as much as you could.

“You guys all right?”

Chris didn’t stop thrusting into you; he was too far gone with desire. Locking eyes with you, you knew he wanted you to respond.

“Yes! Eh-em, yes, we’re—we’re—fine,” you stuttered, trying to keep the pleasure from your voice to keep it even toned.

It was hard. Your jaw dropped when Chris rotated his hips, sending his cock against your walls. You flung your head back, banging it onto the glass.

“Fuck, you feel so good, princess. So fucking tight,” Chris hissed out.

His pace never slowed or wavered. He kept it steady, kindling such a fire within you that you knew you’d be coming in no time.

“Mmm, you’re gonna make me come, baby,” you hastily whispered.

“Come on this cock, babygirl. Come for me.”

The way he said baby girl had your eyes rolling to the back of your head. Chris changed your body's angle using the mirror as a stabilizing force as he held you by your thighs at the crock where they met your pelvis. The new angle had you moaning loudly.

“You love daddy’s dick, don’t you?”

“Yes, I love daddy’s dick. Don’t stop Chris, don’t stop fucking me.”

The way his thrusts sped, you knew he was close. He’d been holding out the whole week just as you had. It was hanging on by a thread.

“You want it?”

“Yes.”

“Where?”

“You know where. Fill me up, baby.”

Chris’s eyebrow quirked as he looked at you with a question in his eyes.

“Don’t say--,” Chris began.

“I want it.”

That was all the permission he needed. He pulled you up and hugged you to him, then kissed you.

“I’m gonna put this baby in you. You want it?”

“Yes, baby, give it to me!”

Chris’s face contorted, and his thrusts staggered. You clenched around him, making him lose his control. As he groaned and whimpered, you did too.

“Take this dick baby, take it. Have my baby.”

“Yes, yes, yes!”

You felt him erupt within you, and it shook you to your core. Your body shook, and you hugged him close, afraid you’d float away from the height of your ecstasy. After several long moments of the two of you coming down from your shared orgasm, Chris moaned into your ear.

“My, my Mr. Wolf, what a big load you had.”

Chris smiled, shook his head, then kissed the tip of your nose. “All the better to knock you up with.”

The two of you bust out laughing together, completely oblivious to anything else around you. When you quieted, you found Chris’s eyes on you.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry. I’ve been trying to crack you all night.”

You snorted at the pitiful look on his face. “I know, I’m not an idiot, and you’re not as sly as you think you are. I know you’ve been using my weakness this week against me.”

The smirk he gave you had you rolling your eyes. “I hope you smirk like that when I show you the fruits of your labor,” you teased.

About five minutes later, you and Chris met Scott and his boyfriend outside, and the four of you walked back to the car ready to call it a night. Once the four of you were in and on your way, Chris grabbed your hand and kissed it.

“My, my Mr. Wolf, what a big cock you have,” Scott said in a teasing voice, making both yours and Chris’s jaw drop.

“The better to fuck you with,” Scott’s boyfriend replied, making you and Chris gasp.

“Oh my god, Scott!”

“You two are some freaks. In the funhouse?!

The entire drive home was mortifying as the two of them teased you the whole way.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

#hallowpeen one shot #chris evans #chris evans one shot #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #chris evans x black reader #halloween one shot #black fanfiction

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kitkatpancakestack · 3 years ago

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I had this saved in my drafts for awhile and I wasn't sure whether or not it added anything new, but I am feeling such EMOTIONS for these two that I figure wth I might as well chuck it into the void:

So, I know the fandom is frought with S5 speculations and head cannons, but as I have only begun to digest S4 in its entirety, I'm still thinking about it. They just gave SO MUCH, and in an abbreviated season no less.

This time I been thinking about Buck's character arc as portrayed in S4, and I've been doing my rewatch, and maybe I'm late to the party and this has been discussed ad nauseam, but I really think Buck Begins and Survivors are the literal bookends of his plotline that season. The parallels alone seal the deal for me. Can't believe I'm about to make a post primarily dedicated to Evan Buckley and not Eddie Diaz but here we go:

What I found interesting is the comparisons bw where Buck's character is in the beginning of each episode, where he wants to be, where he thinks he's headed, and where he ultimately ends up.

Where he is at the beginning

In Buck Begins, we obviously get Buck like a raw and gaping wound with his parents, completely untethered to his sense of self. His whole thing is feeling like he's lost purchase on the possession of his forged identity (Buck) in the wake of his parents - and Maddie to an extent - who intentionally or inadvertently corner him into the identity he is always trying to escape from (Evan).

In Survivors, Buck has supposedly gained sufficient closure by this point in the season regarding his disparate identities, but we find out this is still not the case. There's something holding him back, but this lack of closure is more portrayed to the audience through the surrounding characters: "Buck's gonna Buck", Bobby's use of the word "Buck" during their kitchen argument, Taylor dragging him for acting invincible like he always does. He's obviously improved from his starting place in Buck Begins, and yet the vibes are still the same: him seeking the correct way to be "Buck" from everybody but himself.

Where he wants to be

I think this goes without saying that Buck is just constantly trying to live up to the expectations wittingly or unwittingly placed upon him by the people he respects the most. In Buck Begins this concept manifests as an absence of meaning, which is noticeably filled during the end scene when the team (interesting how they chose to leave Eddie out of this moment 👀) is telling him what it means to be Buck.

In Survivors, whatever shaky grasp Buck felt he had on his identity is obliterated by the very same people who previously defined "Buck" as something good and noble, and then freely manipulate that name and ascribe to it a meaning with negative connotations. I think it's especially telling in Buck's scene with Bobby, when Buck feels he's being complimented, but this is not Bobby's intention.

Where he thinks he's headed

Buck is just so dumb sometimes, I say affectionately of course. In Buck Begins (and beginning of Jinx), it seems Buck believe he has gained the closure he thought would "fix him" from his parents and Maddie, that it's a work in progress but he's got what he needed. Nevermind this is conveyed in an episode titled Jinx. But I think he truly believes he has filled whatever hole is inside him, that he can now face the future without baggage, and that is just *face palms* *laughs sadly*

In Survivors, I'm going to humor the writers on the Buck+Taylor scenes, bc it's so obvious he thinks he's about to get what he needs, what he deserves, which is someone who chases him, and this is absolutely correct thinking, just not the correct individual. Since his parents, Buck's whole thing was seeking a meaningful relationship (he equates this with a romantic relationship) which he thinks he's headed for with Taylor.

Where he ultimately ends up

This is just me screaming my hiatus crackheadery into the void here, but in Buck Begins I Do Not get the sense Buck has ended up in that much more of a meaningful place than where he started. Yes, he has answers. Yes, he has closure (?). What he does not have is solidified sense of self. Putting my buddie hat on, me thinks it's very interesting of the writers to separate Eddie from the previous scene of everyone telling Buck what his name means to them, that they give Eddie an entire scene with just Buck where Buck doesn't have to explain himself, doesn't actively seek meaning or definition, there's just an implied sense of being Seen and Known which is of course confirmed by Eddie's, "No, I know you did ❤️."

In Survivors, this hanging plotline is resolved through Eddie. Absolutely insane of the writers. The buddie scene at the end of Buck Begins and the one at the end of Survivors have the exact same energy. They're saying the same thing. Eddie knows Evan. And when he says his birth name, when he says his whole spiel, I known I've mentioned this before but it feels like a period to the sentence started in Buck Begins. All Buck wanted, more than a place to belong or a relationship, was just to be Known. It wasn't resolved through his parents bc they didn't really know him. It wasnt resolved through Maddie bc, even they are the closest, there's something about the shared trauma of their childhood that prevents her from knowing him fully, in the way he seeks. It obviously wasn't resolved through Taylor bc despite what we get upfront, she doesn't know him either.

Eddie does resolve this bc he knows him, sometimes I think better than Buck knows himself, and the show makes sure to double down on that, and I just think that shit is beautiful.

#buddie #just got me thinking is all #Buck's character arc is actually so good though #not to be buddie on main but #there sure seems to be a certain somebody absolutely pivotal to his arc you know 👀#it's just interesting is all im trying to say #buck begins #survivors #the finale was actually entirely about fully fleshing out Buck's plotline change my mind challenge #evan buckley #eddie diaz #something about being known and seen and completely understood

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unhealthyfanobsession · 4 years ago

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Master Post of things I wanted to post while reading ACOSF- mostly humour/ crack lol (Spoilers... Duh...)

First, general opinion: I liked the book generally. I knew it would be very Feysand friendly and I was prepared for that. Not my first choice but I get it. I really had to take a few hours off with the whole hiking scene. That really fucked with me to see Cassian so pissed and militant despite already knowing where Nesta was coming from and how betrayed she felt (ESPECIALLY once I learned that he had guessed they were mates already). I know that self loathing was a major theme but I do think it was laid on a little too thick for too long. I also think there was so much Nessian interaction when things were angsty and then when they were happy I was just WAITING for that full chapter of soft happiness and I feel like a lot of that got lost to Nesta’s relationship with her sister. Above everything though I gotta say that it BREAKS MY HEART that Cassian never actUlly says I love you to Nesta at any point in the book. I know it’s meant to be that he’s always loved her and it’s his actions that show it etc etc but it’s still kind of a blow for him to never say it... never even outright think it in his own perspective (go back and look the closest he gets is saying he’s acting like a lovesick puppy. We only get to see Cassian loving Nesta from her perspective as she realizes it which I get and is beautiful but maybe ONE DECLERATION THANKS). Anyway, I am hoping that opportunity arises in future books. Although.... I don’t think I will read the future books. Maybe I will, but honestly this was just SO MUCH. Like... I think there was too much in the book. Each of these quests could have been its own book and I was happy to keep going because I’m obsessed with Nesta, but I just don’t think I’d be interested enough in the other characters to read something so convoluted again (like I’m sorry the blood rite started with basically 100 pages left that is WILD). It was also so clear that so much of this book was setup for future books and that’s fine but it was kinda messy just being honest. ANYWAY onto more specific thoughts/ jokes:

Chapter 2:

Cassian: I just hope that Nesta knows we are doing this for her benefit, because we care.

Feyre: I don’t care this shit ends now. I’m burning your apartment to the ground.

Also Cassian: *Let’s Nesta fall down a flight of stairs*; *calls Nesta pathetic every day*; *tells Nesta everyone hates her*; *walks around slamming doors all pissy as if he’s the one being held captive*

Chapter 11:

Nesta:Rhysand is an asshole

Me:

Cassian: well everyone fucking hates you

Me:

The way that Cassian thinks about Russet Potato is just straight up not healthy. Like I get looking up to a sibling or whatever but I’m starting to think that Rhys is Cassian’s one true love. Cassian being THAT blind to every one of Rhysand’s flaws is a character flaw of his own. Even Feyre isn’t THAT blind.

Chapter 11 Pt 2:

Nesta from day one: I’m not training in that camp. I hate that camp. I’m not training there. Fuck that camp

Cassian: this is because you hate me, isn’t it?

Me:

Like I’m sorry did we really need Feyre to show up to help him crack that code???

Chapter 10 (and beyond):

My OTP? Nesta and the House of Wind.

It’s a solid enemies to lovers story (chapter 6 she says even the house hates her then later it’s her only friend and ally. Great love story.)

It reveals its heart to her before Cassian does

It knows what she needs

Gave her water on the steps instead of watching her fall down them

Pushes Nesta gently by keeping the fire so Cassian can see that she is afraid and haunted instead of empty and broken. Encourages her to go to dinner with people by barring the library but doesn’t FORCE her to go. The house does not judge her.

Spoils her and is silly with her while she has her sleepover.

Takes an active interest in something important to her and shares one of her hobbies

Side note- this book even has me pissed at the IC about how they treated a damn house!! Like how dare they say no one likes going there! How dare they be so rude to my new #1 favorite book character??? The house just wants to give you cake and books and run you a bath. Perfect partner IMO.

Chapter 17:

Me when Cassian does the bare fucking minimum and tells Rhys to calm the fuck down and stop threatening to kill Nesta:

Chapter 21:

When Rhys said that Nesta always has a choice here I said, out loud, “that’s fucking rich rice ball”. My dog looked up. That’s all.

Chapter 21 (and beyond) pt 2:

Prythian: mating bonds are very rare

Archeron sisters: survey says that was a lie

Prythian: fae fertility is very difficult. Conceiving can take decades

Archeron sisters: survey says that too was a lie

Prythian: No High Fae can survive the birth of an Illyrian winged baby

Archeron sisters: once again, the survey is not on your side here

Chapter 42:

Rhys: this is a bad idea

Cassian: that should be written on the Night Court’s crest

Me, wine glass raised to mouth, scoff more bitter than necessary: yeah it Fucken should”

Chapter 42 pt 2:

Yknow I was genuinely shocked by one thing in ACOSF. I was shocked that Rhysand and I agree on something.

He absolutely fucking shouldn’t be High King.

The mere SUGGESTION that Nesta’s power and fight and trauma and depression and war and entire FUCKING STORY has all been so that Rice cake and French fry can be a high king and queen literally set my blood BOILING at exactly the point in the book that I was starting to VIBE

Side note- Can we please just Fucken stop with the stars blinking in and out of existence in Rhys’ eyes. Like calm down. Rice pilaf has purple night eyes we get it. Just like... simmer please.

Chapter 46:

I GET that it shouldn’t have come out like that and that Nesta’s reasons weren’t right, but get ABSOLUTELY FUCKED RHYSAND for thinking that it is your right to HIDE THE DANGERS OF LABOUR FROM A WOMAN WHO DOES NOT KNOW YOUR SPECIES!!! This had me truly wildin and I think it was a disservice to Feyre’s character too that she didnt lose it more.

Chapter 55 (and earlier):

Cassian: *bows to death as Nesta emerges from the black depths on a throne to rule her undead armies*

Cassian: *watches bleeding as Nesta plucks the harp and wields her Made sword of death to murder Lanthys and claim the ability to stop time itself*

Nesta: So, now I go after the crown

Cassian:

Chapter 57 (and earlier):

Kelpie: You shall be my bride before you are my meal

Helion: *rides enchanted horse up to shoot his second shot with Nesta*

Lanthys: Tries to seduce Nesta into being his Queen even as he attempts to kill her

Eris: I’ll give you anything in exchange for Nesta as my bride

Cassian watching every male being in the universe trying to get with his mate:

Chapter 60:

Emerie: we’re not entering the blood rite, are we?

Cassian: Only if you want to

Brialynn:

Chapter 80:

Nesta: *Saves Cassian’s life in the war*

Rhys: I still hate you and will never forgive you for what you did in not hunting as a child.

Nesta: saves Feyre and Nyx

Rhys: I bow before no one and nothing but my crown and now I shall fall to my knees before you oh mighty saviour queen of all

Side note- can someone please compile a list of all the things that Nesta Archeron had done/retrieved/gone through for the Nigh Court because that shit is astronomical at this point and I really need everyone to start sipping their Respect Nesta Archeron Juice RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!

Anyway I’m emotionally wrecked but shoutout to anyone who made it this far into my ramblings!

#nessian #acosf spoilers #a court of silver flames spoilers #a court of silver flames #nesta archeron #cassian #anti rhysand #a court of thorns and roses #nesta and cassian #a court of mist and fury #nestaxcassian #sarah j maas #a court of wings and ruin #acotar

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datleggy · 4 years ago

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Totally random thought I had right as I am going to bed but ya know that show "I didn't know I was pregnant"? Buck would be on that show lol the boy is oblivious when it comes to his own body, so like I can perfectly picture him collapsing on the job one day wracked with pain, and then Hen is poking around his stomach where it hurts, her, Buck and Eddie packed into the back of the ambulance as Chim and Bobby drive to the hospital, and she gets out the stethoscope to try and listen for internal bleeding or anything but instead finds an infant heartrate and she's like "Buck, you're pregnant?" And he's like "uh, no? What the hell?" And then his water breaks and he tries to convince hen and Eddie that he had an accident bc even that would be a better alternative to suddenly figuring out he's about to have a baby???? What the fuck???? But Eddie holds his hand all the way through it and by the time they get to the hospital, Buck has a healthy newborn cradled against his chest, Eddie knelt beside him and alternating between kissing buck and the baby on the head, and observing the baby in disbelief. I can also picture Buck like, sobbing his sorry's to Eddie the entire time he's pushing, like "Eddie I swear I had no idea, if I had known, I would have told you!" And Eddie is just reassuring him the entire time like "don't worry about that now, Buck, just concentrate. No one is mad, okay? But you gotta focus on the- on the baby" and buck just sobs and nods and focuses on the delivery again. But for a good while Buck is in denial that any of this is happening and it takes a lot of convincing and encouragement from both hen and Eddie for him to start actively participating in his baby's birth. Anyways, random half asleep thought is finished sorry for the long ask hdshsjjsjdbsjsj

WELL SHIT ok so i actually love that show and i could see buck doing this lmao so i wrote a thing. also ignore all medical inaccuracies, this is my distraction from monday lmao let me have this wildly inept fic pls.

also just in case, it’s pretty brief, i think, but TW for talk of weight and weight gain

It's nearing the end of their shift now and Buck can almost hear his feet howling at him in pain. Today hadn't even really been all that busy, he thinks, annoyed at his own body's betrayal. He's not even thirty yet, but in the last couple of months he's felt as though he's aged about ten years.

He's put on a few pounds, which isn't too uncommon, sometimes Buck goes through stretches of time where he eats more carbs than he needs and works out less than he'd like and so a little tummy fat is to be expected.

It normally doesn't bother him, except that in the last maybe three months he hasn't felt like exercising much outside of work but he's eaten nearly everything in sight every night. He's up about fifteen pounds, which he wouldn't have even noticed, seeing that he does fluctuate at times anywhere between five to eight pounds over or under what he usually weighs, if it hadn't been for Chimney teasing him about putting down his third Krispy Kreme donut of the day and picking up a barbell earlier this morning.

Chim and Buck poke fun at each other all the time--it's a staple in their friendship and brother ship, in fact--and Buck had flipped him the bird, nothing new there. What had been new was the fact that he'd excused himself to the bathroom right after that and locked himself in a stall and bawled his eyes out as quietly as humanly possible.

Buck grimaces, embarrassed still, by the outburst, even if no one had been there to witness it. He still has no idea what the hell that had been about this morning.

Eddie notices the sour mood and pulls him in close. "Hey, you ok?"

Buck nods. "Yeah, just tired. Ready to go home--shit." Buck feels a shooting pain so intense his knees buckle and Eddie has to hold him upright to keep him from hitting the floor.

“Woah!” Eddie calls Bobby over, who’s closest, for help, “Buck? Buck, you with me? What’s wrong? What hurts?”

Buck just shakes his head and grits his teeth, the pain so debilitating he can hardly breathe much less speak.

The Captain is on his other side in an instant and together Eddie and Bobby help Buck towards the couch, where he collapses in a heap, throwing his head back and letting out an agonized whine. “What’s going on? Did he get hurt during one of the calls?” Bobby asks Eddie, frantic to help put a stop to this.

Eddie’s helpless, “Bobby I don’t know, one second we were talking about going home and the next he practically fell to the floor in pain.” he turns to face his husband, “Baby, I’m here, look at me, what’s the matter? What hurts?”

Buck’s face scrunches up and he finally exhales sharply, his grip on the couch cushions loosening, and he opens his eyes, wide like saucers, and says, “What the fuck was that?”

At this point Hen and Chim, as well as half the crew, have gathered around and Hen is quick to put on her doctors hat and try to sus out the problem. She makes Bobby step aside and Chimney hands her a stethoscope. “Buck, is it your stomach?” she asks, noticing the stiff way he’s holding himself around his midriff.

“I don’t--kinda? I don’t know. It was just like, this crazy wave of pain, almost like a cramp, but way worse.” he struggles to describe the feeling now that it’s more or less passed for the time being.

Hen had seen Buck wince when he’d been in the harness on the last call of the day, but he hadn’t said anything and she hadn’t thought too much about it until now. “Did you hurt yourself in the harness earlier? Maybe pulled something when we reeled you back up?” she asks, palpitating his stomach with her fingers, watching him almost retract from her touch.

“Maybe?” Buck shrugs uncomfortably, wincing when she hits a particularly sore spot.

Something about this feels familiar and strangely obvious, but Hen doesn’t understand why until she puts her stethoscope up to his belly to check for lack of bowel sounds, indicating maybe some internal bleeding or sorts.

Hen gasps out loud and sits up like she’s been smacked.

Eddie frowns. “What? What’s wrong? Is he gonna be ok?” He almost wants to snatch the damn stethoscope out of her ears and check for himself, his eyes darting between Hen and Buck nervously.

“Buck, you’re pregnant. And in labor, by the sounds of it.” Hen blurts out in disbelief.

“What.” Buck blinks at her, waiting for the other shoe to drop. This has to be a joke.

“I heard a heartbeat in there...” Hen informs them, still awed. “Buck, that was a contraction you just experienced.”

Eddie gapes at Hen and then at Buck. “You’re pregnant?”

Buck gapes right back at him. “No!” he denies, shaking his head incredulously. “That’s insane, I can’t be pregn--ah--” Buck leans forward in pain as another contraction begins. “Fuck.”

“Jesus, yeah, no you’re definitely pregnant,” Chim announces, “Your water just broke all over my favorite couch, bud. I’m getting the ambulance ready asap.” he says, before running to do just that, head reeling. He thinks about Maddie and when she gave birth to their daughter and how scared out of his mind he’d been and he sympathizes for Buck and Eddie, who up until now apparently hadn’t even realizes they were expecting...

Back at the lounge Buck continues to deny any of this is even happening. He whines into Eddie’s chest, “That’s pee, it has to be, because I’m not pregnant. There’s no way.” he lets out a pitiful whimper as another contraction begins and buries his face against his husband to hide the tears springing up in his eyes.

“Buck, son, we gotta get you to a hospital right now.” Bobby tries, running a soothing hand over the top of his head.

But Buck shakes his head no, shuddering out a sob. “M’not going.”

Eddie, overwhelmed, looks to Hen and Bobby for help.

“Buck, ambulance is ready to go, we need to move unless you wanna have this kid at the firehouse.” Hen grimaces. “I know you’re in pain and I know you’re confused and hurting, but we need to get you into that ambulance and now.”

Buck cries out when another contraction hits him and Hen gulps. “Your contractions are getting way too close together, we need to move.” she nods at her Captain and Eddie to help get Buck up and together the three of them manage to get Buck onto a gurney and into the waiting ambulance.

Bobby rides up front with Chimney, leaving Hen and Eddie to work in the back with Buck.

“Buck, you need to start getting ready to push, this baby’s coming.” Hen warns him, but Buck refuses.

“I can’t.” he sobs. “I didn’t--” he throws his head back, the pain lighting his nerves on fire. “I swear Eddie, I didn’t know. You gotta believe me.”

Eddie takes Bucks hand into his and brings it up to his lips. “I know baby, I know, you don’t have to worry about that. I promise. Nobody is mad at you, ok? I’m not. But right now you need to focus on pushing, you need to listen to Hen, ok? We’re ok, and you’re gonna be ok, but I need you to push, baby. I love you so much, you know that, right?”

Buck lets Eddie wipe away his tears, leans into the comforting touch, and nods shakily, exhaling. “O-ok, I’m--I’m ready.”

**************

The baby is so very tiny in Eddie’s arms.

Olive Buckley-Diaz is born weighing exactly six pounds and two ounces.

Christopher, who’s curled up against Bucks side on the hospital bed after a very exhausting day, looks up at his Buck, his little brow still knitted in confusion. “So she was a surprise baby? And that’s how come you guys didn’t tell me about her?”

Buck tries not to laugh. “Yeah bud, it was a huge surprise to us, too.”

Eddie nods along, smiling fondly down at the bundle he’s holding. Her blotchy red face is slack in sleep and there’s already tufts of brown hair sticking up funnily on her head under her hat. “I still can’t believe you only gained like fifteen pounds during the whole pregnancy.” Eddie chuckles, “Or that you worked through the nine months, God Buck, when I think of the stunts you pulled during calls in the last few months alone I’m--” he shudders. “Actually I’d rather not think about it.” he sighs, “I’m just happy you’re both healthy at the end of the day.”

Really, it’s a miracle. The doctor had said as much after the delivery.

“To be fair I never got any of the other symptoms,” Buck shrugs. “I wasn’t nauseous, my feet never swelled, I don’t remember any weird cravings? And you said it yourself, I didn’t really gain all that much weight.”

Eddie leans down to kiss Buck’s forehead. “You should be on that show.” he grins.

Buck tilts his head.

“You know the one, the one Hen made us watch when work was slow that one time. ‘I didn’t know I was pregnant’.” he teases.

Buck groans. “I regret all the jokes I made at the time. I totally get those people now. Pregnancy is weird.”

Christopher rests his head more comfortably against Bucks chest and smiles softly. “Yeah, but now our family’s even bigger.”

#mpreg #911 fox #i didn't know i was pregnant #i love that show #lol #ask #ficlet #writing #buddie #established relationship #buck #eddie #christopher #family

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