#close the deal

[reallybadblackoutpoems]

secrets of farming (1863) - john w. large

"yeowch augh taking damage ough eurgh"

[batsyheere]

I sometimes just imagine the first time Phantom is introduced to the league as like, a fellow big league hero. As someone who works with Justice League Dark and took down the Ecto Acts with his own team and allies to be included under the meta acts like aliens. He knows Constantine and Zatanna and is a pretty common name in the magical community now even if usually as his human form "just Danny".

And suddenly he is surrounded by these "big time heroes" and aliens and champions and most would assume he'd be overwhelmed or in awe. Maybe nervous, or weirdly fixated on being in space.

But here's the kicker- Danny is dead. Technically part of the category ecto-entity, ghost, and thus belonging to the Infinite Realms. He has met a vast variety of characters who are far more chaotic and legendary than these people who have so much interpersonal drama it looks like one of the soap operas Tucker refuses to admit he watches. Wonder Woman? Danny has lunch with Pandora and visits the Greek sections of the realms when he needs to research old prophecies. Superman? Kryptonite is like rock candy and the dead of Krypton are either very sweet or very condescending and Danny has seen both in the Boy Scout. The less said about the Green Lanterns the better. The Flash family are entertaining but also headache inducing because Danny has heard the complaints about the timeline. Half a dozen other heroes and vigilantes have their own dramas that Danny could pick apart at the source for the many issues that started said drama, and that's not even beginning on the issues with Batman and the weird galley of children he has who are sometimes even worse than the dark knight himself.

Meanwhile the League find themselves growing more concerned and horrified the more Phantom manages to reference his adventures and rather stressful start as a vigilante. Constantine hasn't been more entertained in years.

[pangur-and-grim]

god video calls have really shown me that I have no facial expressions..... I watched myself say "that's fantastic! that's the best news of my life," with the face of someone waiting in a lobby for a dentist appointment

[chloesimaginationthings]

FNAF Phone guy was wild for saying that to Michael..

[ionomycin]

archfey warlock

[uncharted-constellations]

~What i couldve been~

I was just gonna do the adult timeline zelda but im so enchanted by the idea of these two versions of the same character. People always talk about how link would be changed but never zelda.

[iamlostandinneedofcoffee]

I like to imagine that every once in a while Red Hood just goes off comms for long stretches of time and comes back bruised as shit and exhausted before logging off for the night and the rest of bat brigade is trying to figure out which villain of the week keeps jumping him.

Eventually they, cause communication is a skill no one learned, just start harassing hood’s men to find out whose turf they are invading only to find out they thought the bats were beefing with Red again cause he keeps mumbling about brats.

Now they are trying to find out which one of them is lying about fucking with Jason and no one is owning up, the trackers they keep putting on him are fizzling out, no one as any idea and Jason ain’t saying shit. But like he’s never properly irritated about it or asks for help nor can they find anything out so they let it go for now (read keep trying to track him to no avail).

And then one night Red Robin comes across Red getting chased and then fighting off a feral looking teenager on the roofs of Crime Alley and just when he looks like he is getting the upper hand another drops down from above (how the fuck the nearest taller building is not anywhere near close enough to dive into the fight from what the fuck?!?) and joins the brawl.

Tim is about to rush in to help Jason before the two teens’ heads turn in unison to him with Lazarus green eyes and look like cats when they see a red dot. Jason panics and before he can grab them, they leap and now Tim is in a cartoon brawl dust cloud and all and Jason has joined in and is calling them all brats and how his gunna whop their ass- and there is a foot in his mouth.

And yet through it all Tim never feels afraid. In fact, as he fights he realises they are keeping up and beating him all whilst smiling and punning(?!? They must never meet dick SHIT DUCK) and that won’t fucking do, so he brings out all his tools and tricks and is getting matching by two raccoon twins. 20 minutes later they are all grinning bloody smiles and just as he is about to slam his bo staff up into into the female looking twin, a whistle is blown.

They all freeze and look over in unison as if they all became shining quadruplets at a giant shit house built fucking man. And like Tim has seen big men. Bane is a big mother fucker. Superman is a big mother fucker, and is also shaped like one. Bats is big but this guy even though his is maybe not as large he feels infinitely more terrifying and that’s before you get to the flaming(fucking literally, how does that even work or stay in the pony tail) white hair.

“Alright enough for tonight or foods gunna go cold. Inside.” A voice bellows across the roof before the man disappears??!? At the mention of food the one top of Tim almost starts drooling, gets up and starts dragging Tim’s still prone body across the roof and off of it OH FUCK AND INTO A WALL WHA and they went through it… well

A couple second later Jason and the other dude stumble in. Jason picks Tim up as he is coming down from that mini adrenaline rush at and puts a arm around Tim, half hug half chokehold, saying “say nothing and you get to join once a week. Say shit and you’re haunted.” And walks off to the kitchen and starts bringing out food.

… safe to say the rest of the bats are now confused why Tim of all people is now turning up bruised as well with Jason, cause if it was him to start why has he started loosing all of a sudden??? And he says fuck all but his weapons and fighting style has got more chaotic and terrifying.

Oh and he seems to be eating… well you win some and lose some

[tiniest-hands-in-all-the-land]

Carry me home

[nenoname]

stan ignoring mysteries and weirdness for 30 years balancing out his family's innate curiosity and being why the blind eye ignored him for that long

[whereisthedamndaddymanual]

Random stranger on internet selling used panties

No

A familiar classmate gives her musky panties to me because it is what I wanted

Yes

[tndo]

Bad day?

[jimjamjomjum]

The parallels between these two haunt me.

[romidoes]

‘bad day?’ ‘hm.’ ‘taking your meds?’ ‘hm.’ ‘should we call the shrink?’ ‘…yeah.’ ‘okay, let’s go to bed and rest a little, we will call later.’ ‘i love you.’

[hinamie]

there's an art in the dark that took years to refine

[non-plutonian-druid]

[ID: A drawing of Grunkle Stan in the 80s, sitting on the floor of what will be the living room of the Mystery Shack. There are papers and books scattered all over the floor and table, and an axolotl smiles vacantly in a tank in the top corner. Stan stares into the distance, haunted, holding Journal 1 in one hand. End ID.]

He's fine, it's fine, everything's. Fine.

[6blackfilin9]

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