#click has been so gone from my wilderness I’m happy he’s in the water now

[stari-hun]

4 characters away from having everyone in my character collection at full bond

[ilooklikeaburntchickenugget]

Rumors

A/N: Another one-shot for you guys, because I’m bored and though of an idea. Word count: 2021 Pairing: Gerard Way x F!Reader

If there was one thing Gerard has taught you, it was that having shitty thoughts and feelings were normal.

It was just especially difficult for you and your desk job to cope with that. He now had music, which was going extremely well. You were so proud of him and everyone else, but you weren’t happy. Not because of him, but because of yourself.

“Hey, Gee.” You stumbled into your small Jersey apartment at 9 pm on a Tuesday night, your boyfriend on the couch watching something.

“Oh, hey.” He smiled, looking over at you. He immediately noticed your mood. He knew you struggled with depression, but some days were worst than others. “How was your day?” 

“Meh.” You said putting your bag down and hanging up your coat. The harsh Jersey winter had finally arrived, a dusting of snow settled on the ground.

“Have you eaten?” He asked you shook your head.

“I’m not hungry.” You admitted, walking over to where he was and sitting next to him.

“Be honest with me,” He turned to face you, “How are you doing?” You knew better than to lie, Gerard was like a lie detector with you. Anything you said he could easily decipher whether it was a lie or wasn’t.

“Not well,” You leaned back, slouching on the old couch you two had, “I just feel so drained.” He nodded.

“Well, I’m not going to tell you it’s okay, because that would be a load of bull shit.” He said, “But how can I help?” 

“I don’t know.” You said, “Just, be close to me, maybe?” He nodded, throwing an arm around you and grabbing a blanket from one of the arms of the furniture, placing it over your two bodies. He gave you a long kiss on the head, relaxing into the Star Wars movie marathon that was on.

One of the things that you knew was causing this issue was Gerard’s fame. It was by no means his fault or the bands, but Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge had blown up. And next thing you knew, you were bombarded with co-workers, acquaintances, everyone you even remotely were trying to be friendly with you. But you were smart enough to know it was because of your relationship with Gerard. Two years and a lot had changed.

His fingers had found their way interlocked into strands of your hair, dancing with them and providing an even more relaxing feeling for you. “Tell me why you feel like this.” He told you, your eyes still fixated on the TV.

“I’m just sick of fake people, ya know?” You said, beginning to play with your fingers, “Feeling used.” 

“You feel used?” He asked, now concerned, “By who? By me?” 

“No, no, of course not.” You let him know, “It’s just, honestly? People want to ya know, know me for you. And I get that, you’re an awesome person, and now you’re famous, but still.” He nodded.

“I’m sorry.” He reassured you, sighing, “Maybe we don’t be as public about us?” 

“Yeah, but I don’t want to be a burden on you-” 

“I’ve thought about this for a while too.” He reassured you, “I want our life, our relationship, to be as normal as possible.”

“Are you sure, Gee?” “Yeah, I’m sure.” You leaned up giving him a kiss, him giving one back, and leaned back into him afterward.

“Thank you.” You said.

“No need to thank me.” He said, “We both need to be comfortable with this, right?” 

“Right.” You responded.

And that worked. For a few months. Until their fame blew up even more, and more and more.

Gerard and you had decided to make public appearances together very simple, by wearing sunglasses and hats. Trying not to get mauled by paparazzi. But one day, in particular, you went to the grocery store like a regular person, and within hours you were all over gossip news.

“What the fuck?” You muttered, looking on your and Gerard’s computer at the countless articles with your name splashed on the front, and picture placed right below.

Is Y/F/N Y/L/N pregnant?

Gerard Way expectant father!

Y/F/N Y/L/N seen grocery shopping, pregnancy rumors spark

You shut down the computer, huffing out of frustration and getting up to take a shower. Gee and the guys were on tour at the moment, and the only way this wasn’t going to drive you insane was to take care of yourself.

The warm water hit your bare skin. You took a few deep breaths but looked down at your stomach fat which was mistaken today for a pregnancy. Maybe I do look pregnant? You thought. I should lose weight. The thoughts continued to run in your mind. When was the last time Gerard and I had sex? It had been months. Oh no he thinks I’m fat too. He thinks I’m disgusting.

So there you stood in the shower for an additional 45 minutes, before getting out and drying yourself off. You stood in the bathroom mirror, looking at the fat rolls that laid on your side, the fat on your stomach, and your thick thighs. He doesn’t like my body.

You changed into sweatpants and a t-shirt, sitting on your bed. You checked your phone, noticing three missed calls from Gerard. You took a deep breath and reluctantly called him back. “Hey, are you alright?” He asked.

“Yeah, of course.” You put on the most realistic, regular voice you could.

“Did you see the reports?” Both of you paused. 

“Yeah, I did.”

“You know they’re some fucking bull shit, right?” He asked.

“Right.” You said.

“Wait, are you pregnant?” 

“No, Gee I’m not.” You sighed, “I’m just fat.” 

“You’re not fat.” He fired back. And that was enough for you to break down in tears. “Shit.” You could hear him mutter. “Listen I-” 

“You have to go, I know.” You said through tears.

“No, I’m not going fucking anywhere.” 

“Gee, it’s like 8 pm there. It’s time for you to go out there.” 

“I don’t give a single shit.” He said, “You’re not fucking fat, okay? You’re the most gorgeous fucking woman on this fucking planet and screw all the shit those asses say about you.” 

“Gee, I’m good.” 

“You’re crying.”

“Yeah, but I’ll get through it, okay? Just please, go out there and play.” 

“Fine.” He sighed, “But I love you. So fucking much.” 

“I love you too.” You whispered and hung up. You slumped under the covers, turning off your phone and lights and going to bed.

Thankfully, the following morning was a Saturday. You woke up, stretching out and yawning. Grabbing your phone, you turned it on only for texts to be flooding your screen. You sat up in confusion, checking some of them.

Did you see what Gerard did? Y/N, it’s insane!

The video’s gone viral!

What video? You thought, swinging yourself over the bed and to the computer. You quickly turned it on, logging in, and searched up Gee’s name, waiting for results to come up. There, lo and behold, all over the internet held a video of him on stage that had gone viral. So of course, you clicked on it.

“How many of you here are girls?” He asked, no music playing. Part of the crowd cheered. “Well, I want to tell every single one of you, that you are all fucking beautiful, in your very own fucking way.” The crowd roared. “And I’m sick and tired of the fucking bull shit, that the media likes to stir regarding women and their bodies.” The crowd went even wilder, “Because all women are beautiful. And all you guys, you guys are handsome. And everyone here is fucking hot.” Everyone managed to get even louder for that.

You knew it was of course him directing it at the rumors regarding you. And you were honestly quite thankful for it. But you were still worried that you weren’t enough in his eyes anymore.

You got ready for a day at home, which would most likely consist of cleaning and cooking for yourself, with maybe some reading or TV involved in there too. After cooking breakfast, you got a call from Gerard. “Hey, Gee.” You picked up.

“Hey, honey.” He said. “How are you?” 

“Good, how about you?”

“Alright.” He said. “I- I think we should talk about the rumors. I know you’re still upset, and I am too.” You sighed.

“Gee, I appreciate what you did on stage last night.” 

“It needed to be said.” He spoke with confidence, “Someone needed to at least. And you know I don’t give a fuck.”

“Yeah, I know Gee.” You said.

“What’s on your mind?” He asked. You didn’t answer, “Please, tell me. Please?” You sighed.

“I don’t know if I can.” 

“If you can?” He asked, “You can tell me anything.” 

“Do you still love me?” You asked, pain erupting in every word. He didn’t respond for a few moments.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” He asked, “Are you drunk?” 

“No, I’m not Gerard.” You said, “Do you still love me?” 

“Yes, of course, I fucking love you. More than anything.” 

“Do you love my body?” You asked next, “Am I unattractive to you?” You could hear him sigh.

“Why would you think that?” 

“Because I know I’m chubby.” You said, “And we haven’t had sex in forever. So I just thought-” 

“Your body is fucking beautiful.” He said, “You’re the most gorgeous woman on this planet, on the inside and the out. I love every inch of you and you better know that and understand that because I really do.” He took a moment to breathe, “And I swear, the first thing I’m doing when I get a break is taking you right there against the fucking wall. I’ve been dreaming about you every single day since I left.” You weren’t sure how to respond.

“I love you, Gerard.” You said.

“I love you too, Y/N.” He responded, “Are you okay now?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“I’m gonna be home in the next three weeks, okay? We have a break.” 

“Sounds great.” You lightly smiled.

“I do love you, Y/N.” 

“I love you too, Gee. Bye.” You two hung up.

The next few weeks went by slowly, day by day slugging yourself in and almost immediately crashed onto the bed. One night, after passing out almost immediately post changing. You snuggled into the covers, falling asleep instantly.

It wasn’t uncommon you woke up in the middle of the night, but when you felt a shift in your bed you knew it wasn’t insomnia. You stirred a little bit, groaning slightly. “Hey, babe.” You heard a familiar voice. You still weren’t completely in your conscious.

“Hey, Gee.” You responded out of instinct rolling back over.

“Try to get some sleep, okay?” He asked you could feel him shift under the covers.

“Mhm.” You murmured into your pillow, falling right back asleep.

But of course the next morning, you noticed the slant in the mattress as well as the warmth which radiated from the usually empty side of the bed. “Gee?” You asked, rolling over slightly to face him.

“Hey,” He muttered, still half asleep.

“You’re back.” He nodded against the pillow. “Oh, well, I missed you.” He lightly chuckled.

“I missed you too, sugar.” You two laid there for a few content, silent moments before speaking up.

“How long are you back for?” You asked next.

“Four days.” He said, smirking immediately after.

“What?” You asked.

“I think I made a promise.” He got up, getting above you and smiling down, giving you a kiss.

“Gee,” You said, pulling away, “Can I get five more minutes of sleep?” He sighed, slumping back down next to you.

“Really? Now?” 

“Yes, now, Gee.” You smiled, knowing you had just pissed him off.

“If you’re hard you can always-” 

“No, I’ll wait.” He sighed again and you lightly laughed. “You find this funny?” 

“I don’t find it funny,” You clarified, “I find it absolutely hilarious.”

“You’re so beautiful.” He smiled. You groaned.

“Thanks.” You said, “You’re gorgeous too Gerard.”

[elleonmybeloved]

Field Day

Title: Field Day Author: PinkPerfume Fandom: Shall We Date? Obey me! Pairing: Asmodeus/MC Rating: Teen & Up Chapter: 1/? Tags: Demon & Angel Blood AU, Demons are slightly larger than in cannon by about a foot or two each, Secret Crush, Awkward pining, Asmodeus is hoe-rny as usual, Flirting, Leading up to that explicit rating in the second chapter cause you know me Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25145122/chapters/60926767

Summary:

Once a week, the human exchange students, accompanied by the seven demon brothers as well as Lord Diavolo and a few of his subordinates make a trip to a rocky place out in the wilderness of the Devildom to conduct physical testing on the humans’ developing abilities. Mary-Catherine and her fellow once-humans aren't sure why Lord Diavolo injected them with the demon and angel blood that gave them their abilities, but participation in the testing is mandatory. But if you forget the part where they're being tested like lab rats, it feels a lot like a fun school field day! Complete with packed lunches and a friendly sense of competition.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I hope you’re ready to eat my dust this time. I’ve grown two inches since last week.”

“Don’t get a big head. You got dog demon blood, not speed demon. Besides, not being able to spit acid at obstacles in your way is gonna slow you down.”

“I’d really appreciate it if you stopped doing that. Just because you look a lot more like a snake now doesn’t mean you need to act like one.”

“- Demon cobra. Not just a snake.”

“I know you’re proud of that, but honestly, I’m more jealous of the girl who got hawk demon blood. You know she has wings now, right?”

“What?! They shouldn’t let her participate in the race, it’s totally not fair.”

“It’s not actually a race, you guys.”

“Just because they’re testing us doesn’t mean we can’t have a little fun with it. Lord Diavolo encouraged us to be competitive.”

Excited chattering and the rumble of the vehicle’s engine made for a charged atmosphere that Mary-Catherine was enjoying listening to, leaning her head against the glass of the window to hide her amused smile at the antics. Choosing to survey the odd shapes of plants and pigmented rock passing by outside as she listened, she angled her head so that the small tightly curled horns at her forehead weren’t scraping against the glass.

Once a week, the human exchange students, accompanied by the seven demon brothers as well as Lord Diavolo and a few of his subordinates made the trip to a rocky place out in the wilderness of the Devildom to conduct physical testing on the humans’ developing abilities.

Piled into some kind of all-terrain vehicle with such ridiculous ground clearance that Mary-Catherine had needed assistance to haul herself up into it, they were shuttled to the testing site. The vehicle was huge and had several rows of seats, so everybody just called it “The Bus.” Before them on the long straight road, the Demon lord’s sleek black limo - driven by Barbatos - led the way down the path.

Turning off on the dirt path, they pulled up to the site. As the passengers - twenty-five strong, counting the brothers - filed out of the vehicle, they cordoned off into groups like a separation of oil and water.

Mary-Catherine confidently placed herself next to the people she knew best. Donte - a young man with horned-toad demon blood who she’d never seen not dressed up in attractive punk outfits that suited his dark brown curls and yellow-green striped horns perfectly. Despite all the purple dust out here, she had yet to see any of it attach itself to his outfit.

Meanwhile, both her thick cargo pants and her usual red tank top already had a few purple smudges.

To his left, Emma, a curvy young woman in all black whose sharp feline teeth glinted against her dark lipstick, and though the pair of furry black ears at the top of head twitched invitingly, you’d have to be stupid to touch them - or any part of her - without her explicit say so. Her claws were just as sharp as her eyeliner and stung quite badly.

Mary-Catherine had never heard her give anyone that say so. Only repeated threats to anybody who would listen about just exactly the kind of dark apocalypse she would continuously rain on Diavolo and the demon brothers & co. until they returned her cat Lucy to her, or vice versa.

Standing aloof with a familiar thoughtful expression to her right, a picture of elegance and maturity that M-C only hoped she’d one day achieve, was Annika. The blonde witch had a silent strength and seemed the least phased about her residency in the devildom of all the humans Mary-Catherine knew. She even stood up to Lucifer on a regular basis.

Mary had to avoid flinching like a startled lamb every time he looked in her mere direction. In her defense, she was part sheep now, and she had no reason to believe demon sheep were any braver than those in the overworld. Though as recent months had attested, they had the same urge for salt and were about 5 times faster than a regular one running at full tilt.

Once given their instructions, and oddly-shaped “evaluators” to attach to their D.D.D.s, the four of them plus a few she was less familiar with made off for the climbing ground. As usual, the groups moved around three areas in a rotation. A rock-littered circuit of road for testing speed, agility, and endurance, a level field of purple grass and several small, dead-looking trees with painted orange Xs on them that served as a combat ground for testing offensive abilities, and a large outcropping of porous green rock to test their ability to scale rough vertical terrain.

Something of a makeshift security team, the demon brothers spread out to stand their usual guard over the three groups. Considering their powers and how each demon towered at least a foot over any regular human even in their “human” forms, on their very first outing Mary-Catherine had foolishly assumed none of the other occupants of this realm would dare try to attack the group.

Grimacing as she tied up her hair and prepared to climb, she tried to blink away the image of the explosion of goop and gore and the charred remains that had been left of the few dissenting demons who’d scarcely touched her human companions before Satan had reduced them to pulp. Though unsure of how Lucifer had torched the ones who’d gone after his group, she was pretty sure she’d never get the image of their blackened skulls out of her mind.

“What’s with the long face? You’re still the reigning champion of this rock, goat-girl.”

Looking up, she recognized the self-proclaimed “cobra” guy from earlier on the bus. Despite his competitive statement, the grin on his face was friendly. His curly black hair and olive skin tone made for a vivid contrast against his vertical pupiled green eyes. She’d seen him a few times at breakfast and wasn’t certain but she thought his name was Kevin?

“Oh nothing. I was just wondering if they were going to make me lick more rocks today. Kind of reminds me of when I used to chaperone church summer camp and all the kids would collect rocks and dare each other to hold it in their mouth for twenty seconds or eat a worm.”

Mary-Catherine paused, “-But my horns alone would’ve been even more scandalous than the time one of the adults caught someone with a Harry Potter book sooo I guess it’s not really that similar!”

“Oh trust me I doubt my mamá would be happy to see what I look like now, but that doesn’t mean I would say no to a chance to become spiderman.”

“Hey, if anybody is becoming spiderman, I think it might be me.” Donte spoke up from behind them, looking incredulously at his hand which was pressed against the wall of rock. “Check this out.”

He then demonstrated how with an odd suction noise, his hands clung to the rock of their own accord. Prying them off and then repeating the motion, he got better at the detachment process with each press.

“Maybe poisonous demon frogs can stick to things?” Mary-Catherine mused. “I watched this discovery channel episode on tree frogs once that explained how their secretion of toe pad mucous-”

“-Mucous?!?” Donte scrutinized his hands in dismay, but after finding no such secretions he breathed a sigh of relief. “The only thing getting on my hands is this rock while I climb it’s ass. See you at the top!”

Pressing the start button on her evaluator, she climbed up after him, hearing Kevin start his descent as well. She’d gotten a bit of experience with this sort of outdoors stuff at previously said church-camp, but that was nowhere near her current condition, as she easily overtook both of her human companions with no regard for the steepness of her path. Back then, she’d needed a hardness and ropes. Now, she sought out each handhold instinctively like the top of the rock was calling her.

“At least I’m not bleating.” She sighed, and from below her Kevin barked out a laugh.

“I imagine it would come out sounding more like a warbled growl.” He said. “I’ve seen the pictures you know.”

“Hey- don’t go looking at a girl’s demon pictures!” A girl lower down on the rock called up to them.

Mary-Catherine blushed and hastily pulled herself up the remaining few feet of the rock and rolled to the side as she clicked stop on her evaluator.

“Not her pictures, the pictures of whatever they injected her with!” Kevin complained, but M-C could hear the mirth in his voice.

Walking over to a smoother patch of rock, she sat down to wait for the rest of them to finish their climb. Gazing at the ground far below her, she noticed Emma and Beelzebub talking next to a couple of camp-chairs.

She had noticed before that as an act of cat-less mutiny, Emma often refused to take part in the tests, but as M-C watched her speaking amicably with the demon beside her, who was eating… something round and dripping a brightly colored liquid she could make out from here, Emma gestured towards the rock several times with a wistful expression.

Rising to get a better look, Mary-Catherine began absent mindedly stretching, catching her ankle and bending her leg with a gentle pull.

It was a bit too far for her to make out exactly what they were saying - though some of her genetically enhanced fellow humans probably could - but M-C imagined that Emma was saying something along the lines of how much she wanted to climb the ‘actual shit outta that rock’ but wouldn’t budge an inch until they gave her back her precious Lucy. Beel seemed to nod sympathetically and despite not halting in his eating process, continue the conversation.

And then he moved to grab another of whatever it was he was eating, revealing the other demon who had come to watch over the climbing group. Having used the absolute swole unit of his demon brother’s body to provide him with shade, the Avatar of Lust reclined elegantly in - well it wasn’t really a camping chair, but it looked like it could be collapsed and relocated - his seat, meticulously painting his nails.

Freezing awkwardly midstretch, both arms clasped high above her head, she was for the hundredth? thousandth? time struck by just how gorgeous of a man Asmodeus was. Not a man, she reminded herself, a demon. Good Lord in Heaven, those arms… he had his sleeves rolled up to his elbows to avoid getting nail polish on his shirt, and it exposed the beautiful lean muscle of his forearms. Burnt amber eyes focused intensely on his handiwork, his pale perfectly shaped lips pursed in concentration… he had an angular face that made him look like both like the dangerous being he was, and a sculpture of an angel at the same time.

As if aware he was being ogled, he paused his preening and turned his head, looking up her way at the top of the rock. Panicking, she hastily looked elsewhere, pretending to continue her stretches as if she hadn’t been meaning to glance in his direction…

Nothing to see here!

Soon the others joined her at the top of the rock, and with the protection of anonymity, Mary-Catherine risked another gaze his way.

Oh good, he’s back to working on his nails.

Getting caught looking at people was so awkward, hopefully he hadn’t thought anything of what he saw of her brief gaze. She was pretty sure she was safe, it was unlikely he was that interested in any measly humans anyways.

“So what was your score?”

Mary-Catherine spooked so hard she jumped, turning to give Kevin a wounded look.

“You’re a jumpy one, huh? Must be those prey instincts. Well, what was it?”

“A minute and forty three seconds.” Mary-Catherine said, wondering what kind of predator hunted sheep demons. Probably had lots of teeth.

“Guess I just need to be a minute and fifteen seconds faster next time.”

“I’m sure you can do it.” She said, giving him an encouraging smile. “If they ever decide to hand out a prize, you’ve got it in the bag.”

“Now there’s an idea.” Donte piped up, moving into step beside them as the group began to descend the smooth sloped side of the rock. “I already know what I want as a prize.”

“What do you want?” She couldn’t really think of anything a demon would have to give as a good present. She’d seen their food. And the mall. They had weird taste.

“Not telling.” Donte said in a cheeky tone that even she could read as being… salacious in nature. Annika gave him one of her disapproving mother looks and it just made him sprout a mischievous little grin.

“I’ve had my eye on a spellbook in Satan’s library I would very much like to have.” Annika said, as if trying to steer the conversation off the downhill path it was otherwise going. It was a good thing Emma wasn’t here or that’d be a moot effort.

“Uhhh, boring!” Kevin crossed his arms. “Come on guys, we’re practically in hell. I want a weapon or something with strong dark magic powers.”

One of the other girls agreed with him, and began a very enthusiastic conversation about swords and axes and other sharp pointy things. Mary-Catherine considered the question herself for a few moments, but the only thing she could think of was for Lucifer to give her her Bible back. He’d taken it away a couple weeks ago after she’d done something he hadn’t approved of and used it as an excuse to confiscate the book. She wasn’t even sure how he’d known she had it, but maybe he’d been under the false impression that she was religious?

Normally she wouldn’t have been upset about such a thing, but even though she was no longer the good devout Catholic girl her parents had raised her to be, her grandmother had given her that Bible. They’d been quite close before she passed away five years ago to lung cancer. She was much too terrified of the fallen angel to even try to get it back though. Regardless, as far as prizes go that was a bit more personal than she was comfortable with sharing.

“I think a week off school would be nice!” She said instead, and was met with a resounding murmur of agreement from the crowd.

“How about a whole month?”

---

Under the protection of Belphegor and Leviathan this time, Mary-Catherine and her group took turns sprinting on the track. Unsurprisingly, Kevin’s dog demon-blooded friend blew all competition out the water. Once that guy got started he was like Usain Bolt on steroids. Though she put in the effort expected of her to avoid getting chided, M-C didn’t bother to run full tilt. She didn’t really like this part anyways. It was the most like a test, grueling and repetitive instead of fun, and reminded her of how she was here against her will.

She was grateful when they broke for lunch, gathering around a few hastily erected plastic tables. Taking the brown bag and two water bottles, she found a somewhat shady spot to sit under a scary looking tree and redid her sagging ponytail, lamenting the state of her side braid. She downed a whole bottle of water before getting into her food.

It was kind of funny, it was the same typical sandwich chips and apple combo she was used to on outdoor events like these, but the meat was purple and the lettuce that poked out at the sides was bright red. The fruit looked like an apple, but tasted like an orange and was the color of a banana.

She’d learned to just trust Lord Diavolo to know what humans could eat, and didn’t ask what everything was anymore. One of the transfer students had been curious at breakfast and as a result she had become aware of the fact that on several occasions she had ingested eggs from a reptilian demon species called an angiphore which looked like a cross between a platypus and one of those monstrous looking fish that lived really deep in the ocean.

The thought made her choke on her mouthful of water and most of it escaped out her lips down her throat to soak into the fabric of her top above her breast.

“Oh, gosh darn it.” Of course she had nothing to dab at it with. Well, at least the cool water felt kind of nice dripping down her neck, as hot as she was after such rigorous exercise.

“Oh my, looks like someone overestimated how much they could swallow~”

Mary-Catherine scarcely had time to process that someone had managed to approach her so silently before, bending elegantly at the waist, Asmodeus himself was already pressing a handkerchief against her neck with a chiding tut.

At her stiff reaction, he smiled, looking very much like the cat that ate the canary. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of sweetie, you’re not the first one to do such a thing.”

Mary-Catherine flushed and searched for a sufficiently indignant reply, realizing he was making fun of her. But before she could come up with something, he moved in closer, dragging the cloth against her bottom lip. It was such a shamelessly demanding motion, silencing her with ease.

“You must’ve been thirsty, poor thing.” He crooned, and M-C decided to swallow her pride and just enjoy the opportunity to get such a close up look at his gorgeous face. At this angle, she could see how long his strawberry-blonde eyelashes were as they brushed the smooth, immaculate skin of his cheeks.

“It’s… pretty hot.” The words were already on her mind, so unfortunately that’s what came out of her mouth instead of denying such an obvious trap.

It was worth it for the delighted, full-teeth grin he made. “I agree.”

His fingers skirted the hem of her tank top, and with a gentle pluck, he lifted the fabric to dab a few times at the wet top of her breast. But instead of lingering, with a simple wink, he retracted the handkerchief and stood up before she could even begin freaking out about it.

“Thanks.” She said when her brain caught up, as he started to leave.

“Any time, honey.~” He replied without turning back, and was soon out of sight.

Mary-Catherine gave a dry swallow and reached for her water bottle.

~~~

The rest of the afternoon proved uneventful. Oviumalum, or the certain species of demon sheep blood she’d been injected with, apparently had the ability to rapidly elongate and thrust out their 4 sets of horns in front of them like some kind of projectile impaler. Their horns were also a key ingredient in a certain type of hallucinogenic drug, when ground to a powder.

The meager set of horns on Mary-Catherine’s forehead was sharp, and made of the same components, but so far showed no signs of developing any projectile abilities. As such, she simply had to hold still while they took a sample of her horns, ears, and tail and then was free to sit on the sidelines for most of the hour.

Lucifer had handed her a textbook about the properties of various demonic plants and encouraged her to study during the downtime.

“Like many here, you would do well to improve your academics. Here.” He’d said in that aloof tone, like she was some filthy human bug under his boot.

“Oh…” She’d said. “Well, actually, that’s-”

“You’re welcome.” He’d cut off her attempt to decline with a glare. “I hope I see an improvement in your grade reports soon.”

Mary-Catherine couldn’t help but shut up after that and bitterly open the book in obedience. His crimson stare, like the blood she was sure he was not hesitant to shed, was just too frightening. But, more interested in watching the increasingly bizarre developing abilities of her fellow humans, she’d just skimmed the pages and pretended to read.

Beside Lord Diavolo’s delight at Donte’s newfound ability, nothing else of note happened. It was amusing to watch Emma claw several inch deep scores into a variety of materials she’d never assume could even be scratched, so that’s what she’d done until they’d blown their whistle to announce that it was time to return to the House of Lamentation.

Now, she was trailing after the gaggle of tired, test-tried students, thinking about whether she was going to bathe, sleep, or eat first when they got home.

“Heeyyy, M-C!”

Looking up from where she’d been zoning out staring at her D.D.D, she glanced around. Had somebody called her name?

“Mary-Catheriiiine!!” A girl was jogging towards her, waving a hand to get her attention. It took her a moment, since it wasn’t someone she was very familiar with, but she connected the face to a name before the girl reached her.

“Yes? - Um, Hoya, right?”

“Yeah.” The girl said, smiling with a - ah. Shark demon blood. - large set of teeth. “Can I ask you a favor?”

“Of course! What is it?”

“I lost my ring up on the rocks.” Hoya said, pointing to the climbing wall. “I can see where it is but I can’t reach it myself. Can you get it for me?”

“Sure!” May-Catherine chirped, but then bit her lip. “Uh, did you tell Lucifer? It’s time to go and I’ll be fast but we’re going to make them wait…”

“Don’t worry, I told him. He said it’s fine as long as I hurry.”

“Oh. Okay!” M-C said, but couldn’t help squinting a little skeptically.

“...He said they’re leaving in ten minutes with or without us.” Hoya admitted. “But it won’t take us that long!”

Mary-Catherine was already moving. “Oh gosh, well I hope you didn’t mention my name…”

Hoya jogged next to her, long smooth grey tail wagging oddly like a dog. “Uh, I did. Sorry!"

Mary-Catherine groaned and high-tailed it to the rock.

[5am-the-foxing-hour]

Sparkling Morning Kisses

or: How to turn your new boyfriend into a blushing mess by Patton.

Being stuck in a car really makes your mind wander, I have no idea where this fluff came from, but alas here it is.

Ship: Logan, Patton and Deceit

Characters: Logan, Deceit, Patton, Virgil, Roman, Thomas is mentioned.

Warnings: none that i can think of.

- - -

Tag list: @thought-u-said-dragon-queen, @philspinkyfinger, @leesacrakon, @cloudedskies29, @totellismert, @huntershollows, @naw2702, @corracii, @wolfoxymy, @winterswishing, @tacohippy56900, @cause-a-gay-has-got-to-slay, @ambersky0319, @bluethehamildork, @theorizing-puppet

General Fanfic Tag list: @ebony-wolf, @nashiraneko,  @secretlyanxiouspersona, @i-sold-my-soul-to-thefandom, @rabbitsartcorner,@punsterterry,  @sleepyssnail,  @nightmaresides, @virgilswritings, @ninja-girl2846, @ninjago2020, @starryfirefliesbloggo, @garecc,  @sympatheticdeceit, @cookiethedevil, @askthesnake,  @all-bridges-will-burn,

- - -

The morning light shone in through the window of the kitchen, drenching it in a gentle golden light. Patton was humming to himself as he danced around in the kitchen while getting the breakfast for the others ready, the had prepared hot water with one sugar cube for Logan’s tea and had the tea bag next to the cup, it wasn’t time to put it in the water yet.

Patton was whisking together the pancake batter, the tea standing ready on the counter, when two slim arms wrapped around his waist and a sleepy hum came from the person behind his as they nuzzled closer. Patton hummed back and leaned his head to the side to rub his cheek against Logan’s dark brown hair.

 “Morning, love.” Patton spoke, gently kissing the crown of Logan’s head as he got a muffled greeting in return.

Patton would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy how cuddly and adorable Logan was in the morning before he got his tea. He giggled when he felt Logan kiss his neck before lifting his head to rest his jaw over Patton’s shoulder.

 “Pancakes?”

 “Yeah, It’s the kiddo’s favourite,i’m not blind to the fact that they have booth been struggling for a while, so i thought making their favourite breakfast would make them feel a bit better.” Patton put away the bowl of batter and reached for the tea and handed it to Logan. “Here you go, honey.”

Logan untangled his arms from around Patton and gently took the cup smiling into the kiss, Patton placed on his lips, and cheeks before kissing him on the nose and pulled back giggling.

Logan opened his eyes to lean forward and kiss Patton on the nose as well, only making Patton giggle harder and an adorable flush covered his freckled cheeks.

The smell of pancakes filled the kitchen later, and both Virgl and Roman had come down to eat, having finished and gone back to their own thing.

Patton sent a look to the clock and nodded walking over to the coffee machine and made it ready for Deceit’s arrival.

 “Are we asking him today?” Logan asked as he looked up from the crosswords in the replica of Thomas’s newspaper.

 “I- yes? I was hoping so. I’m just a bit anxious about it.” Patton said as he put away the dishes.

 “How so?” Logan put down the newspaper and pen to give Paton his full attention. the moral side rubbed his hands along the cat hoodie.

 “What… what if he doesn’t feel the same way?”

 “From what I have managed to gather from the way he keeps looking at us when he thinks we are not looking, and from what Virgil had told me and I quote ‘he’s so stupidly in love with you two he won’t stop talking about it’. Also I believe it is best to show him what our intentions are and tell him, and if he ends up rejecting us, then… is it not better to know than being left in uncertainty?” Logan reached out and took Patton’s hand, giving it a squeeze of comfort.

 “You’re right Logan… but I can’t help but worry.”

 “And that is okay.” Patton only gave a nod in reply.

Deceit entered the kitchen with a wide yawn making his jaw crack and he rubbed at his closed eye with the heel of his palm as he waddled into the kitchen in his fluffy black and yellow striped morning robe, fluffy pyjama pants and a black t-shirt that had a bigger version of his logo on the chest, and fluffy yellow slippers.

It was to friggin early, despite the fact that it was the middle of the day.

He needed coffee and he needed it now, if he was to have the energy to deal with everything today.

He blinked when the coffee mug was placed in his hands.

 “Here you go, honeydee, just the way you like it.” Patton spoke giving him a peck on the cheek, and not just any cheek, the scaly one.

 “Glad to see that you are awake Deceit.” Logan spoke as he walked up behind him and gave his shoulders a light massage, knowing Deceit tended to get stiff often, despite his increased flexibility due to being part snake.

Deceit blinked again, when Logan kissed his other cheek.

He couldn’t help the squeak that left him at the suddenness of it all, not that he was fully against it. Logan and Patton had been part of his dreams for way to long and this was just one of many things his mind had made up for him to dream about.

 “Your coffee is getting cold, love.” Logan spoke as he gently pushed the cup closer to Deceit who remembered the coffee again. He took a sip and in a slight daze left the space between Patton and Logan to sit down on the table.

Patton and Logan let him leave and Patton moved closer to Logan still unsure.

 “Did we overdo it?”

 “I do not think he is fully awake yet, and therefore have not processed the information. Give him a few minutes after he finished his coffee, my dear.” Logan said kissing Patton on the temple.

It took precisely 10 minutes and 3 seconds before it clicked and Patton and Logan got to watch how the whole human side of Deceit’s face turned red as Roman’s sash and the scales flickering into a bring yellow.

Deceit slammed his now empty mug, held by both hands onto the table and stared at them making a garbled mess of sounds neither of them understood, but from the confused flustered expression it was clear to them both what he was asking.

 “We have talked to each other” Logan started “And we both care about you-” Patton elbowed him lightly in the side “Sorry we both love you very much, and would like for you to join our relationship.” Logan stated, rubbing his side with a pout that Patton kissed away in apology.

Deceit gaped like a fish before he closed his mouth and swallowed

 “A-are you… are you sure… you want me?” he asked slowly.

 “Yes!” Patton said before Logan managed to open his mouth again and moved over to grab Deceit’s cheeks squishing them a bit in the process. “I know we have had our differences and not always seen each other eye to eye in the past, but you’re whole presence here, dear, it made me realise that you’re not as terrible as you liked us to believe at first, and honestly, you are SO CUTE!” Patton turned to face Logan turning Deceit’s face to face him too “Just look at him! He’s an adorable noodle!” Deceit wasn’t sure what in his chaotic confusion spurred him on to blep, but still he did and Patton gasped long and loud as stars grew in his eyes “HE EVEN GOT THE TONGUES!” Patton screeched in glee, only making Deceit blush all over again.

 “Well I do have to agree that he is adorable, altho he has not yet answered our question, so please calm down a bit, love.” Logan said with a warm smile on his lips.

 “Oh! Oh right. sorry...” Patton let go of Deceit’s face and rubbed at the back of his neck with a sheepish look on his face.

 “I… I don’t know...” Deceit started

 “It’s okay, take all the time you need.” Logan reassured, Deceit stared at him before he looked down at his empty coffee cup.

 “I mean… are you guys sure you want this?” he looked up at them both, hesitant and unsure, but they could both see the small glimmer of hope in his eyes.

 “Yes.” Logan said with a nod and Patton was odding so fast and hard his face was getting burry as he repeated ‘Yes’ over and over.

Deceit looked away blushing at how honest they were being, before he rubbed at his scaled cheek and sent them a glance now and again before he swallowed, trying to get the dryness out of his mouth.

 “Then...” he started having to think about what he wanted to say “Then I… I- I would love to.” he blurted the rest of the sentence out glancing up to them afterwards to see if they caught it and from the happy growing beaming grin that grew on Patton’s face it was clear the moral side had heard him and Logan reached out and ruffled his hair, making the mop of already untamed hair a bit wilder.

Deceit gave away a startled yelp when Patton suddenly threw himself at him, unable to hold back his affections, causing them both to fall of the chair and crash to the floor with a audible crash. Logan placed his face in his hands and groaned.

Only looking up when he felt two pair of eyes on his and he turned his head to see how Virgil and Roman watched from the doorway.

 “What’s going on?” Virgil asked

 “Why is Patton and Deceit on the floor?” Roman said staring at the sight of Patton drowning Deceit’s face with kisses and hugs.

 “Deceit has joined our relationship and as you can see, Patton is being Patton.” Logan turned back to his two boyfriends and chuckled “All is good, now i got a boyfriend to save.”

Virgil and Roman could only stare as Logan with unknown strength picked up Patton from Deceit, giving him the promise of cuddles on the couch if he went and got it ready with blankets and pillows. Patton rushed by Roman and Virgil but not before giving them caring peck on the temple and crown of their heads.

Logan helped Deceit back to his feet, the other still flustered and looking dazed.

 “You okay?”

 “He’s gonna be the death of me, Logan.” Deceit looking up at him “And I would have no qualms whatsoever.” Logan only chuckled as he gently caressed Deceit’s cheek.

 “Well, I can not let Patton get all the fun, now can I.” he said and Deceit felt his face heat up once more when Logan pulled him close. “May I?” Deceit gave a nod, not trusting his voice.

Logan closed the rest of the way, letting their lips meet.

Deceit wasn’t sure what to do with his ands and grabbed hold of the front of Logan’s shirt as he melted into the kiss.

If he’d known the morning would turn out to be like this, he would have woken up earlier.

[tabithacarlisle]

*OFF THE RECORD: Part 5 

*Catch up on OFF THE RECORD’s previous chapters parts 1, 2, 3 & 4 here at the OTR Masterlist

OTR Part 5 Notes & Disclaimers: Pixelberry Studios owns these characters, not me! I just have fun playing with them :)

Pairings: Maxwell x MC (Tabitha Carlisle), Liam x MC, Drake x Liam - Rates T for teen - extramarital affairs discussed. Some swearing.

Word Count: 3312

*Author’s Note: any time you see text underlined, it’s a link to screenshots from Pixelberry’s Choices TRR scenes, or other chapters referenced from *OTR- click them!! :)

.........

*OFF THE RECORD

by Jo ( @tabithacarlisle ;)

“Oh... great! I love camping... but, what about Drake and Tabitha? Ooh! I know! Maybe we could call up Hana too and ask her to come with us and do, like, a reunion camping trip? Get the ‘Fab Five” back together again for another night of shenanigans? That was so much fun—“

“Perhaps, another time, Maxwell. This time, it’s really imperative that it’d be just the two of us.” Liam walked closer to Maxwell to enable him to speak in a more hushed tone that only Maxwell could hear “We have much of importance to discuss, you and I, that cannot be put off a moment longer. Away from prying eyes.”

And no witnesses... Maxwell shuddered thinking to himself. He took a moment to compose his thoughts to try and find a way out of having to go tonight.

“Oh, damn. Y’know, I just remembered? I didn’t bring my hiking shoes with me. That hike to the campsite is pretty brutal, I don’t think these ‘kicks can cut it.” He held up the bottom of his shoe for Liam to see and steadied himself as he balanced on the other foot.

Tabitha walked by them just then, “Hiking shoes? Liam has plenty of shoes that would fit you, Max. You’re both a size 44, I’m sure he has extra pair of boots that would work out well for you.”

Damn it, Tabz he muttered under his breath.

“I’d be happy to lend you anything you need to make the trip, Maxwell. First, I need to wrap up a few ‘loose ends’ before we depart. Then I’ll see you back down here shortly afterwards, and then we can get going.” Liam smiled and squeezed Tabitha’s hand, waving to them both before he set off in the direction of his offices.

Once he rounded the corner of the hallway, Maxwell let his smile fade as he grabbed onto Tabitha’s arm to pull her into an empty room and closed the door behind them with his back pressed up against it.

“What’s happening now, Maxwell?”

“Oh, nothing?” He whispered loudly back with a scowl “Just that your husband is taking me out alone in the wilderness so he can murder me and get rid of the body without any witness? No big deal! It’s been nice knowing you, Tabz...”

“Wait? Drake isn’t coming with you? That is odd.”

“I know right? Please, don’t let us go alone? There’s got to be some way you can convince him to let you come with us?”

“There’s no way Liam and Mara would let me make that hike in my condition. They’re much too protective of me.” Her hand rested a top of her small ‘baby-bump’ to emphasize her point. “And Liam invited Bertrand and Savannah to stay at the palace tonight for Savannah and I to spend time together. But, you know Liam would never hurt you Max. I know him well enough to know that he cares too much for his oldest friends to let any harm come to you.”

Maxwell whelped, “Oh, sure, ‘no harm,’ not so obviously, anyway. But a quick “accidental” shove off the cliff into the ocean below and he’ll have a convenient excuse to explain away my untimely demise! This is not going to turn out good, Tabitha! Didn’t you see how he snapped at Madeleine’s earlier? And the dirty look he gave me when your nurse said— He’s been holding it all in and he’s just been waiting for just the right time to unleash his real anger on me!”

Tabitha steadied Maxwell’s arms at his side “Maxwell! Breathe.” She reached up to smooth his hair and cup his jaw, looking intensely into his eyes before she spoke again. “I’m sure Liam just wants to talk over... things ... with you, but let me go talk to him first so I can make sure you have nothing to worry about? All right?”

She could feel him begin to tremble underneath her hands. “But what if it’s not that he wants to hurt me physically?” Maxwell’s voice cracked in a soft whisper “What if he’s taking me there to demand that I leave and never see you again?” His eyes welled up with tears as he spoke.

“No, no. No, he wouldn’t do that. I told you I wouldn’t let him. He can’t. Maxwell, I’ll go talk to him now. Go pack your things, it’s all going to be...” she took a deep breath before speaking again, “We, are going to be fine. You and I, we’re a team. Remember? You said that yourself. No one can keep me from my best friend. Liam has to see that we’re as inseparable as he is with Drake.

“Being kept from you forever would be as close to death as I anything I could imagine, Tabitha.”

She shook her head emphatically. “Not going to happen. I’ve got you, Max” she leaned into him on her tip toes and kissed him desperately to comfort his fears. He let out a quiet sob before kissing her back, clinging to her back. They held each other in a silent embrace like this before she let him go.

“I can talk to him. It’s going to be ok. All right?”

“...Ok...”

“I love you, Maxwell. Breathe. Have faith that we’re going to get through this.”

“I love you, too.”

Tabitha left the room in the direction of Liam’s office.

.....

She found Liam standing behind his large desk in the study, paging through a stack of briefing notebooks when she came to the door. He put them down and smiled at her when he noticed her entry.

“Tabitha, my love. Have you been enjoying spending time with Savannah and Bartie? I’ve been wanting them to come for a visit so that you could talk to someone who’s been through becoming a parent recently and get her perspective.”

“It’s been great to see Savannah and Bertrand again. And Bartie is growing so fast. But I wanted to talk to you first before you leave for camping with Maxwell.”

“Yes I wanted to speak with you before we leave tonight as well. Close the door, would you?”

Liam came round to the front of his desk and leaned against it. He beckoned her to come closer, and wrapped his arms around her. Liam’s hands rubbed her stomach softly and he breathed her in with his eyes closed, savoring her presence so close to him before he gazed intensely into her eyes and spoke again.

“Tabitha, my queen. I... feel as if I already know the answer to this question, as your heart and mine are inextricably linked forever. But, I need to hear it from you directly. Do you love Maxwell? Truly?”

“Yes, He’s become family to me Liam. I don’t know what I’d do without Maxwell being in my life. In our lives. With all my heart, I love him as I love you; as you love both me and Drake.”

He studied her eyes and measured her words in silence before speaking again “I feel as if I’ve known this, for awhile now, but it’s good to hear you say it. There’s been, mistakes, I’ve made, we’ve all made...” he reached “I understand that, our story is unique. And I hope you know I love you more than even my words can ever adequately express, Tabitha. When I said I’d give you the world, I meant it. You have given me, so more than I ever could have expected or hoped from a wife, from a life partner, your understanding and love, and compassion for me, and my friends, knows no bounds. We’ve been though so much together. I want to make this work, I need to make this work,” he paused to rub her belly again “for all of us. There’s only one path that makes sense, and I’m willing to take it for us.”

Tabitha searched his eyes. She knew Liam so well she could feel the deeper meaning behind his words even without him having to clarify his intentions. Still his statement shocked her,

“Do, you mean—?”

“Yes. I, want to discuss these matters with Maxwell first, one-on-one, but we all should talk about the details soon. I’m asking you to trust me.” He took her hand from his shoulders and kissed her knuckles. “If I talk to him about it first, hopefully he’ll understand that this isn’t something that I’m entering into unwillingly, only at your insistence. Will you let me do this for us?”

Tabitha began to weep “Oh, Liam! you always know the right thing to say, and exactly what I need before I even know it myself. This is all I ever could dream or hope for.” She kissed him passionately unable to believe her luck in feeling once again at home and safe in his arms at a meeting of the minds they had been lacking since she had told him about the pills weeks before. He broke the kiss to rest his forehead on hers. “We’re all going to be Ok. We have to be.”

There was a knock at the door. Bastien announced Drake and Maxwell to see them,

Liam called over Tabitha’s shoulder “Send them in, Bastien.”

The two men peeked inside assessing the room before entering

“Drake, I’m going to need you to take care of my darling wife while Maxwell and I are gone.”

Drake scoffed. “You don’t have to ask, Liam. You know I’ve got Carlisle. We’ll be fine here. The real question is if you can handle Maxwell?”

Maxwell’s brow furrowed “What’s that supposed to mean?” he looked suspiciously at Liam and then Tabitha. When he searched her expression for any warnings he found none. Only a tear stained face smiling back at him with undeniable happiness. Her demeanor couldn’t help but begin to set him at ease.

Liam got up to give Drake a quick hug and whispering something to him before letting go. Drake nodded in agreement with his hands in his back pockets.

“I just have to change into my gear and I’ll be ready when you are, Maxwell.”

I don’t think I’ll ever be ready...

.....

“Not much further now.”

“Hey, Liam? You... wouldn’t happen to have anything stronger than water in that backpack of yours, would you?”

“I have a steel growler full of beer for when we get to the campsite. Stick with water for now, Maxwell. Wouldn’t want you to get dehydrated before we make it there.”

Maxwell gulped. Oh, that’s a relief. He wants to make sure I’m healthy and hydrated, before he slits my throat...

“Beer... sounds good! Heh. I was beginning to think that Drake had converted you all into strict Whiskey drinkers. I can’t stand that stuff.”

“You’re funny, Maxwell. Come then, we’ve only got about two and a half more kilometers on this trail before we get there, but I’d like to make it before nightfall.”

...

About an hour or so later when the campsite had been set up, sandwiches had been eaten and the campfire had been lit, Liam and Maxwell sat fireside, with Maxwell waiting anxiously as Liam poured them both drinks into steel tankards from his growler.

“Lythikos’ finest ale. ‘Thanks to Olivia.’ Salut.”

“Salut...”

“Care for a cigar? They were a gift from the Cuban ambassador.”

“Oh, no thanks. Cigars aren’t really my thing? If I were going to smoke anything right now it’d be a joint. Heh. I don’t suppose you packed any of those.”

Liam struck a match and lit his own cigar, taking a drag before he extinguished the match between his fingers. “No... But I‘ll make a note to the palace staff to supply us with some Cannabis for next time.”

Maxwell swallowed hard and coughed, almost choking on his beer as it went down. “‘Next time’?”

“Well, certainly. You and I are going to have to spend a lot more time and get to know each other even better now. For the baby’s sake.”

“Yeah, um... about that... I—”

“Yes. ‘About that?!’ Would you care to explain your thinking to me, Maxwell? What could have ever possessed you to have sex with my fiancée, the future Queen, no less, mere days before her wedding night, without any bloody protection?!”

Maxwell’s last nerve had boiled over. He surprised both Liam and himself with the bravery he was able to muster in response to make his defense.

“Wait... hold up here, your majesty, but you’ve got to understand something! Ever since we brought Tabitha here to compete for your hand in the Social Season, Bertrand put me, directly in charge of procuring her birth control prescription every month. So if I couldn’t get one of the staff to do it, I’d go to the local pharmacies, wherever we were, to pick them up and hand deliver them to her, myself! We’d been doing that for months, the whole time! Through the Engagement and Unity Tours, that was my job on the 15th of every month. I never missed it! How the fuck was I supposed to know that she’d decide to go ‘cold turkey’ right before your wedding?! If she had just told me—”

“I thought she told you EVERYTHING!”

“Well it looks like that one must have SLIPPED HER MIND!”

...

You could hear the sound of the fire crackling and the waves crashing against the cliff. They were both staring each other down. Maxwell was sweating even in the cool night air. His chest heaved as he tried to interpret Liam’s unreadable expression.

“I see...”

“What do we do now?”

“Maxwell, when I told Tabitha that first night in Valtoria about my desire to start our family together as soon as possible... I want you to understand where I was coming from. My father was murdered, not a month before. I’ve now lost both of my parents to assassinations at the hands of political dissidents. Anton and the Sons of Earth weren’t the only ones out there who thought my rule illegitimate. There have been several others. The people of Cordonia have been on edge this last year after Leo’s abdication and my rise to the throne, and marriage to a commoner, and an American at that. It wasn’t a wholly selfish desire to want to have children with her so soon. An heir to the throne would give all of us the piece of mind and added security we need to put our people’s minds at ease. It would help them accept Tabitha as their Queen. The majority of the public love Tabitha.—“

“Who wouldn’t?”

“My opinion, precisely. But in hindsight, I suppose I shouldn’t have put so much pressure on Tabitha to think about needing to get pregnant even before our wedding. There was so much else going on with the stresses of planning the ceremony, gaining support of all of the Noble Houses, and tracking down Anton, and... that was, unfair to her. I’ll admit that. And I was rash to get so upset with her when she told me about how she stopped the birth control before her time with you in Vegas.

“...it’s understandable...”

“What’s done is done now. I can’t help but feel partly responsible for this conundrum. So, I’m prepared to offer a solution that should be beneficial for us all.”

“...What are you saying?”

“Maxwell, Tabitha and I would like for you to ask for Bertrand and Savannah to have personal effects sent from the estate at Ramsford to The Palace.”

“...You mean, just until there can be a paternity test?”

“No, there’s not going to be any paternity tests. Not for a long, long while, at least.”

“Wait, what? Why?”

“This is the type of scandal that would rock all of the Cordonian tabloids and history books for ages, Maxwell. The monarchy right now is much too fragile and there’s too much at stake, for all of us, to trust this information to any doctors or nurses or lab technicians. We can’t risk anyone leaking to the press that the Royal Baby’s paternity is in doubt. It would give the dissidents even more fuel for their cause, and I’m not about to let my pride fan the flames of rebellion.”

“So what does that mean?”

“Maxwell, it means that you are coming to live with us. You will be instated as a member of the King’s Guard, just like Drake. Regardless of whom this child shares his or her DNA with, I intend on raising him or her as my own, together with Queen Tabitha. The Prince or Princess will inherit the throne, no matter what laboratory testing will be able to tell us down the line. You in particular, will play a key role in the raising of this child. You, and Drake, will both become Godfathers and you, Maxwell, will officially be named ‘Lord Protector’ of Cordonia. Should anything happen to the Queen or myself while this child is still a minor, you shall rule as Regent until they reach the age of eighteen.”

“Um... wow. I’m... I—That’s a— that’s a lot to take in. I’m not sure what to say?”

“I’m not quite finished yet, Maxwell. In your role of Kings Guard, you shall bear the special distinction of Royal Advisor and companion to The Queen, traveling in her Royal Retinue at the highest position, much as Drake accompanies me on my official engagements. I know Tabitha has a big heart. It’s one of the many reasons that made me fall in love with her so hard and so fast. I’d like to think I know her better than most anyone, besides you, and Drake, of course. I can see how deeply she loves you. Your loyalty to her and Cordonia has never been in question.”

“Except for—“

“No, we’ve all made errors in judgment. Your devotion to Tabitha however, is of no doubt. And, it makes me happy, when she’s happy.”

“Liam, I am... beyond shocked. I don’t know what to say? I told Tabitha I was sure you brought me out here so that you kill me without any witnesses.”

Liam smirked, “Are you mad? Don’t tell me you really believed that?”

“Well, maybe only half believed? Heh. I’m... I’m really speechless though, Liam, I don’t know how you could be so forgiving, I—“

“Just say you’ll be there for us, for Tabitha and this child, with everything you have.”

Through rolling tears of genuine emotion and his voice cracking, “Yes. With everything in me. I will.”

“Thank you, my friend.” Liam pulled him into a bro-handshake and slapping hug. “It’s settled then.”

“You know, I think I could go for that cigar after all.”

“Absolutely. Tonight, we celebrate. Cheers.”

Later, Maxwell zippered up his personal tent and settled into his sleeping bag with more peace of mind that night than he had had since arriving at the Palace earlier that week. He believed, or hoped rather, that he had made the best decision, but was much too exhausted to let it worry him any more.

......

Click Here to Read on >>>> OTR Part 6 :)

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[emberprince]

Answer ALL of those in the ask meme you reblogged (or just cocoa if you're a coward)

oh you have no idea how badly I wanted to do this already I was just waiting for the opportunity... and you have given it to me you FOOL! now I have a reason to continue procrastinating on my homework

lantern - how did you meet your best friend? What were your first impressions of each other?

‣ I had just joined my first ‘good’ RP guild on World of Warcraft. She was sitting in the same building as me when my character was interviewed. I thought she was very cool but also very intimidating... I wanted to be friends with her but I was also an IDIOT and very new to roleplay so I kind of hope she remembers little of that time... We sort of fell out of contact for like 5 years but I followed her deviantart account and always added her art to my favorites because it was very CUTE and GOOD... anyway by sheer coincidence we ended up in a guild together again after many years and got to know each other more and now I think I would die if my best friend was anyone else

frost - if you could give some advice to your younger self, what would you say?

‣ man, high school doesnt matter. literally nothing matters as much as you think it does. it’s OKAY. stop caring what people think of you because it’s only going to give you depression and no one likes that. it’s okay. trust me. just chill. skip school once in a while

maple - is there a hobby / skill that you’ve always wanted to try but never did?

‣ I’ve always wanted to learn sign language... I’ve also wanted to learn like, blacksmithing or woodworking but I’ve never had the opportunity or tools to do so :(

harvest - what fictional character do you most identify with? Why?

‣ normally I would list one of my OCs but that’s cheating. I’d have to say Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter, she seems the most like me. I’d LIKE to identify as a cool protagonist but I don’t have the protagonist personality

fireside - if you had your dream wardrobe, what would it look like?

‣ cloaks and cool leather jackets and long flowing coats that make me look cool as FUCK. also dresses with pockets PLEASE I just want a semi-casual dress with functioning POCKETS PLEASE also I would love to have some nice boots and leggings that are a little thicker and don’t show as much as the flimsy ones. Coats/leggings/boots are just nice. I like shirts that are flowy and breathable, kind of like tunics

cider - a food that you disliked as a child but now enjoy?

‣ onions, mustard, peppers, broccoli, guacamole. basically no one ever cooked them for me when I was a kid then I grew up and realized that cooked vegetables are delicious as FUCK

amber - share an unpopular opinion that you may have.

‣ I’m really tired of seeing all the anti-cop posts. My dad is a wildlife law enforcement officer and one of the best people I know, and this whole new view on police has made his job a lot more dangerous. I understand that some cops are horrible people but the majority of them are really kind and unique individuals once you get to know them. Most of them dedicated their entire career to helping others, even if it means getting into dangerous situations. you can unfollow me for this if you want

fog - how well do you think you’d do in a zombie apocalypse scenario?

‣ I wouldn’t die instantly because I’d immediately run into the wilderness and hide instead of raiding stores where the outbreak is literally happening, but I’m not great at living off the land so I’d probably eat something poisonous and die of a disease or starvation a couple weeks later. If I somehow found a good food source or had something to hunt with I’d be alright.

jack-o-lantern - if you could look like any celebrity, who would you choose?

‣ jameela jamil...

spice - have you ever encountered a house that you believed to be haunted?

‣ no

orchard - share one thing that you’d like to happen this autumn.

‣ I’d like to pass all my classes and maybe get A’s and B’s... I’d also like to just be happy for a little while. Maybe get the hell out of my dorm but I don’t think that’s likely to happen. Most other years I’d say ‘fall in love’ but I really just am not ready for that right now. OH wait I’d like to receive 1 million dollars please

crow - which school subject do you wish you had an aptitude for?

‣ CHEMISTRY. holy shit

bonfire - describe your dream house.

‣ a few minutes outside a town with everything I need like a grocery store, hospital, etc. A BIG spacious house in the middle of the woods near a waterfall with a rustic cabin design. Pine forest, one big window in the living room so I can look out at the mountains and watch it snow in the winter. Lots of comfortable furniture, a sectional couch, a big kitchen so I can do a lot of cooking and a big bedroom with a king sized bed. A jacuzzi. One room is like a giant playroom for Zuko with lots of perches and toys and ropes so he can just have the time of his life. My large bedroom also has a nice window with a view of the mountains and a windowseat in front of it. The living room has an electric fireplace. I have a couple guest rooms so I can host people and the basement has a bar where we can have little get-togethers.

cinnamon - if you had to live in a time period different than the present, which would you choose and where?

‣ idk I kind of like the present. we have all these nice things we don’t normally have. I’d say like 10-20 years into the future maybe but I have no idea what the world is going to be like then sooo... maybe not. I wouldn’t want to live without the internet and running water and all the comforts I have now, though

cobweb - (if you’ve graduated) do you miss high school?

‣ I... miss parts of it. I miss the drama club in the high school I went to before I transferred. I had a lot of great memories there and sometimes I wish I could go back. And I miss the friends I made there that I don’t really talk to anymore. I don’t miss ANYTHING about the school I actually graduated from, that place was hellllllllllllll

cranberry - what’s one physical feature that you get complimented on?

‣ I think... hair? Usually when I get compliments it’s just general about my appearance but I think I’ve heard hair mentioned before

maize - share the weirdest encounter you’ve had with a stranger on the street.

‣ I haven’t really had street encounters since I don’t talk to anyone when I’m walking, but I have a few wild stories from when I worked at mcdonalds. One person came through the drive thru with 2 monkeys that tried to climb into the restaurant. Another person raved to me about how Google was taking over the world (they were right). Another person pulled up and I was about to hand them their food and the conversation went like this:

him: [grinning at me] you see the person in the line behind me?

me: yeah haha why? [hands him his food]

him: she looks like madam mim from the sword in the stone [laughs and drives away]

there are truly some cryptids out there.

quilt - how do you take your tea (or coffee)?

‣ I like iced tea in the summer and hot tea in the winter. With coffee, I prefer frappes in the summer and in the winter I drink a lot of mochas or regular coffee with just. so much creamer

pumpkin - do you think that humans are inherently good or bad?

‣ I think humans are inherently good, or at least neutral. We’re very social animals and for society to survive we have to be kind to one another so that we stick around, I think. Bad behavior seems to be learned.

moonlit - are you a neat or messy person? Is your room / house orderly?

‣ I am... neutral. I used to be VERY messy but now I’m mostly clean. My own area can get a little disorganized but I never encroach on anyone else’s space.

flannel - have you ever gone on a bad date?

‣ One. I met up with this guy and he talked about himself the entire time. Other dates have been pretty neutral, I wouldn’t say I’ve had many ‘good’ dates either.

cocoa - if you could have any type of hair, what colour and cut would you have?

‣ I used to want really long red anime hair, and I still kind of want that. I haven’t dyed my hair in a while because I want to see what my natural color looks like before I dye it again. Lately I’ve considered cutting it to shoulder-length but I think I probably won’t. I like red hair (dark red, not the natural red) but I’ve always REALLY wanted to try silver hair. If I couldn’t do silver, I’d do rose gold. For those colors I have to get it professionally dyed though, and I’m really cheap... so if I can’t walmart dye it, it’s gonna be a while until I get what I want.

ghost - is there someone that you miss having in your life?

‣ I guess my cat and bird are still in my life, but I can’t have them in my dorm, and that sucks. I miss a few of my old friends, but not that much because I have better friends now. It’s really weird not having my grandpa around anymore. He wasn’t a great person but I’ve never gone to a family gathering without him. I think that’s going to be weird to get used to. I wish I had a supportive significant other that I just click with but usually my luck is awful with relationships so I’m not going to try anything like that for a while.

[panticwritten]

Happy Valentine’s Day

Okay, this is a day late, lmaO.

I finished my Valentine’s thing. It’s cute. Connor’s a dumb sap.

Word count: 1290

@alextriestowritestuff @breakeven2007 @jade-island-lives @yuyi-yuyani @xanaphia

“Sawyer?”

“Hm?” I tilt my head in the direction of Connor’s voice, but I don’t look away from the screen. If I can just get through this chapter, I won’t have to stress about Breaking Furnace for a while.

He breathes a soft sigh, dropping into a chair that wasn’t there before and peering over my shoulder. “It’s not your week. I thought you’d be in the Lounge.”

I shrug, deleting another failed attempt for the start of this scene. “It’s not your time either.”

“As if that ever stopped me.”

I smile. “Aster had something out in the caves, I think.” She’s been weird lately.

He snorts. “As if you haven’t been.”

I’m doing my best, I shoot back, finally looking up from my computer. “I even had a date today. I’m dating.”

“She was cute. Almost as cute as you.” He rests a hand on my back when I turn my flushing face back to the computer, moving his thumb in soft, soothing circles. I will myself to feel it, but it remains a mere ghost of a touch. “Did you like her?”

“Yeah, duh, I liked her. She was funny and lame and all those things that balance out my anxiety.” I hunch closer to my computer, frowning at a sentence and wondering what the hell I was trying to write. “But she told Madi we’re too similar to be more than friends.” ‘Can’t date a clone of myself,’ to be exact. “Isn’t that funny?”

“Hm.”

We sit in silence save for the intermittent tap of a key or click of a mouse. His hand starts gentle arcs across my back, more easily simulated in my mind than his thumb. Soon, my focus drains away from the chapter, from editing, to Connor’s hand.

I close my eyes, exhaling slowly. His hand, back and forth. I can’t feel it.

He makes a chiding sound in the back of his throat, his hand stilling. He scoots closer, resting his chin on my shoulder. I lean into the insubstantial contact, basking in the thought of him.

“Take a break.” His breath on my neck, just an idle fancy, sends a flash of warmth over my cheeks. “Just for awhile.”

My words stick in my throat, so I only offer a minuscule shake of my head. I can’t.

He sits back in his chair, and I can feel his eyes on me though his touch has vanished. I stare at the page in front of me, now unsure where to go with the broken thought.

I get a full paragraph written, a miracle, before Connor starts humming. I take a moment to shoot him a dirty look for using a musical against me, but I turn back to my writing.

“Un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept, huit, neuf.”

Under my breath, I repeat the numbers back to him. His pleased smile projects itself into my thoughts, and I mirror it. By the time we finish the intro to the song, I’m no longer typing. He takes a breath.

“Come for a walk with me,” he breathes, and I turn to to see a pout pull at the corners of his lips.

“That’s not how the song goes.” Still, I give him a smile. I’m busy.

“Look, I could sit here all day and compare you to Macbeth.” I frown, and he grins. “You’re the morally ambiguous ruler, not me.”

My stomach twists, and his smile fades.

“I’m just saying you’re working too hard. Please take a break.”

I look back to the computer, the blinking cursor taunting me. Trying to remember what happened so early in this universe has me running in circles, and half the crap I remember wouldn’t make for a good narrative. Maybe a break would let all of that rest.

“Yes! Exactly!”

I sigh, snapping the computer shut. “Fine.”

He practically leaps out of his seat, which disappears, and I follow suit. I’m mildly aware of the real me settling deeper into the chair, eyes slipping closed as my dream splits further from reality.

Connor holds a hand out to me, and I don’t hesitate to take it, finally able to feel the warmth of his hand in mine. So, where are we going?

He shakes his keyring and a light door blinks into sight. He winks and unlocks the door, leading me through it. “It’s a surprise.”

~-୦-~

“No, St. Helens is my wife, too.”

Connor laughs aloud, his head thrown back, at the declaration. I’d be hurt that he thinks my love of beautiful mountains is this funny, but he looks so happy. He squeezes my hand when the thought crosses my mind, his laughter winding down.

“That’s a little selfish don’t you think?”

I shrug. “They’re beautiful and I hope they have a million lovers worshiping them alongside me.”

He ducks down to press a kiss atop my head, and I giggle, leaning into his side. “That sounds familiar.”

“Says the guy that has an aneurysm every time I meet someone new to kick it with,” I tease, nudging him with my shoulder.

“Considering your track record, I’d say I have a reason to worry,” he counters. “I still think André’s hiding something.”

Kettle, meet pot. “When were you planning on telling me about Jordan?” I ask innocently.

He laughs, but doesn’t relent. “Damien’s friends kidnapped you and held you for ransom.”

“First off,  he stopped them when he found out,” I correct him. “Second, that was in an actual dream, so it doesn’t count.”

“Anders blew up a church.”

“Chantry. Probs saved the universe by blowing up the damn thing, even if he was being an idiot.”

“Vriska,” he deadpans.

“That’s different and you know it.” I shake my head. “Besides, she’s mellowed out now that we’re all older.”

“Okay, but what about Str—oh, we’re here!”

I look up and stop in my tracks. My hand slips out of his as he walks on ahead. I stare at the door at the end of the hall. The glowing label above it bears a bright green tree. I didn’t notice where we were going, but now—

It’s the Breaking Furnace door.

Connor pauses in front of it, shifting from one foot to another. “Don’t worry. That universe is gone. This was just the easiest door to use.”

His voice strains near the end. With his words, a moment of shared anxiety sharpens the connection between us. At least I’m not the only one still recovering from our time there.

I square my shoulders and cross the last few yards to join him in front of the door. He entwines his fingers with mine and turns the handle—it’s not locked?

I don’t get a chance to ask about it before I see the scene beyond.

Warmth oozes from the familiar stretch of woods. The sky, a clear summer’s blue, promises a long day ahead. Quiet, thriving life fills the mountainside.

I step through the door and peer to the left to see a lake. The lake.

“The memories were a little fuzzy, but it sounds like V didn’t have much trouble replicating it.”

Connor closes the door behind us and it disappears.

Tears fill my eyes at the smell of the wilderness, the clear water shining in the sun, the feeling of being here. A choked laugh forces itself past my grin. I didn’t think I’d be able to see this again, not for another few years.

I turn to Connor, crushing myself to his chest. Thank you.

His embrace is warm, made even more so by the warmth of the summer, when he wraps his arms around me.

“Happy Valentine’s Day.”

[pjbehindthesun]

chapter 1: bears, bourbon, and the boyfriend

Sat, June 9th, 1990

I breathe a sigh of relief as I turn my car off the highway and onto the quiet back road that leads to my favorite hiking trail up in the Northern Cascades. A good hour left on the drive still, but at least this is the peaceful part. Not much relaxes me more than watching civilization recede into the rearview mirror. It’s like dying a little death, seeing the sights and sounds of human disturbance get fewer and farther between, like a heartbeat slowing to a stop on a monitor, until I’m the only person left, with only the wilderness providing background noise like a flatline.

I can’t help but imagine Alex in the passenger seat. Here’s the point in the conversation where he would grumble something about my morbid, misanthropic tendencies, if he were here. Of course, he isn’t here… hiking isn’t really his thing. For what felt like the millionth time, he’d agreed to come along and then bailed on my way out the door. On my way out of town, I’d called him from the lab, where I had a few loose ends from the week to tie up, to try and cajole him one last time. It didn’t go well.

“Are you sure? I can come back and get you, I’m almost done here, I could just swing back home and –”

“– nah, that’s okay, just go.”

“I was just really looking forward to this, Alex.”

“You’ll still have fun! You’ll have more fun out there without me, honestly, you know I hate it.”

“It’s just, I have my trip coming up soon…”

“Right…”

“…and I was just hoping we could spend some time together –”

“– but that’s my fucking point! WHY can’t we do that here?!”

“Hey, don’t you fucking shout at me.”

“Why do I have to drive out to the middle of nowhere and trudge up a fucking hill to spend time with my girlfriend? What the fuck’s wrong with our apartment?”

“Nothing’s wrong with it, but don’t you get bored?”

“Do you? … do you?”

“I mean… not of you, but… Jesus, I just wanted to spend some quality time –”

“– yeah and it only counts if it’s your fucking idea of quality time, not mine.”

“That’s not fair.”

“Just go on your fucking Bataan Death March, I’ll see you tonight.”

He hadn’t slammed the receiver down, but I had still flinched at the click. My idea of quality time, not his. That much was true. His idea of a quality weekend is unplugging the phone from the wall and playing video games around the clock. It’s how he has always wanted to unwind, and I spent countless weekends in college curled up next to him on the little bed in his dorm room with my homework (and the occasional joint out the window) instead of my boyfriend. Since we moved to Seattle after graduation last summer, the room has changed and so have the games – a little less Super Mario, a little more Castlevania – but the rest of the scene has stayed pretty static.

Static. It never bothered me before. For four years, that was my norm. Getting stoned and fucking around in the dorm room felt like what we were supposed to do in college. And I have no objections to getting stoned and fucking around as a theoretical adult, but this particular pastime is wearing thin. Do I even need to be present for his version of quality time?

I’m being a little unfair. I mean, he always turns his attention back to me eventually, and it’s not like I need to be the center of his existence… he’s such a good guy, really. I just wish it wasn’t this difficult to get him to meet me halfway. I can probably count on both hands the number of times I’ve prevailed on him to come camping or hiking with me over our five years together. Maybe even one hand, come to think of it. It just sucks. I love him, and I want so much for him to share in some of the things that make me happy. But I’ve never met anyone more at war with nature than him. I can’t get him to see the beauty of it with me.

I scowl and lean on the gas. The Rabbit does its honest best to keep up, but not without the same precarious wobble it always has at speeds above 60. Bless its heart.

Right before the end of the paved road, I turn into the gravel lot marking the trail head. How long has the car been quiet? Small Change must have run its course in the tape deck a while ago, so there goes my brooding soundtrack. The Rabbit bounces its way over the uneven ground and comes to a halt under the tree I usually park beneath. My jaw clenches at the sight of another car. Shit, please tell me the tourists aren’t coming out here now. I’ve been to this trail a lot over the last year and have never seen anyone else. This, of course, being the basis of its appeal.

I roll up the window and hop out, gathering a wind-tangled mass of hair up into a topknot and pulling on my day pack. I take a deep breath, leave Alex’s ghost in the car, and set off down the dark, dense trail. There have been times over the last year that I’ve missed the mountains back east, all ancient and sleepy and soft, but the comically overgrown plant life and violent skylines of the Pacific Northwest are hard to argue with.

I slowly wind my way up through the forest, gladly losing myself on the walk. Soon, I hit the series of switchbacks that signals the approach of the lookout at the top of the mountain. This is my favorite part of the trail. The trees open up to the left and there’s a partial view of the valley. Down the slope from my spot on the trail, there’s a cluster of burned stumps of giant old trees, the scars of a long-ago forest fire that haven’t yet been overwritten by new growth.

This is just one of those stupid fights every couple has. We’ll fix it when I get home. We always have.

Once I hit the start of the rocky cliff that holds the mountain views I came for, I set down my pack and kneel on the trail to rummage around for my beat-up stainless steel flask of bourbon. No sooner than I lay my hands on it, though, do I spot a tendril of smoke winding up from behind a large rock about twenty feet ahead. Shit, a rocky outcrop is possibly the worst place I could have picked to die in a forest fire – except that isn’t wood smoke I’m smelling.

Furious, I edge around the rock to find a lanky, dark-haired guy stretched out on the ground next to his pack, enjoying the views… and a joint.

“Hey, asshole! You mind not burning the whole place down?”

Well, if we both die out here in an inferno, at least I’ll have the satisfaction of knowing I gave the bastard a heart attack first. The guy jumps to his feet and turns to face his attacker, looking very much like a deer in headlights. A very tall deer. I glare daggers up at him.

“What?? Oh…” he chuckles. “no no, girl, I got a system, see?”

I deepen my scowl, not least for being reduced to “girl” as I’m trying to prevent him from destroying my fucking forest. He holds up a small water bottle clouded with ash and makes a big show of carefully dropping the roach in to extinguish it. Then he sets the bottle down, straightens up to his full height, and raises his hand in a Boy Scout salute with mock sincerity on his face.

“Safety first, I always say.” A devilish smirk starts to crack the mask. “Sorry, Smokey Bear, I wish I knew you were coming, I’d have saved you a hit!” He drops his salute and ruffles up his long, unruly mop of black curls, grinning openly at last.

I roll my eyes in aggravation, but if I’m being honest with myself, it takes some willpower not to smile. Irresponsible, maybe, but this guy is also a walking master class in roguish charm. His barely-there pencil mustache lends him a demonic air, like some kind of love child between Errol Flynn and a 19th-century occultist, and the black wardrobe and giant boots don’t do much to dispel the impression. At nearly a foot taller than me, his height is imposing, but his blue eyes are friendly and encouraging. Too bad I’m not having any of it.

“Oh, how considerate of you. I’m sure the weed would really have taken the edge off of my flesh melting off in a fucking wildfire,” I mutter as I scan the ground around his smoking spot for uncontained ashes. There aren’t any. But still. Doesn’t anyone else give a shit? Why are people so irresponsible? This is why I usually avoid them, as a general rule. When I look up, Smoker Guy’s smile has faded into a sheepish wince.

“Ok, ok, you’re right. I was trying to be careful, but yeah, that was an idiotic thing to do. I’m sorry. I don’t even really smoke, ever, I just… I don’t know, I needed to get out of my own head for a bit.” The roguishnes is gone, replaced by a vulnerability so intense and sudden it knocks me back on my heels. He actually seems sincere enough that I feel a tiny bit of pity and embarrassment at having been so colossally rude.

“Ugh. You don’t have to apologize to me,” I hedge, “just… don’t be an asshole out here again.” I offer what I can manage by way of a smile, and his face splits into another wide, warm grin.

“I mean, no promises about being an asshole, but I can swear I won’t burn it down. It’s too beautiful out here!” His voice shakes a couple of birds loose from the tree above our heads.

“It really is,” I muse, scanning the horizon and settling back into some semblance of calm. Smoker Guy senses the opportunity.

“And what did you bring to share with the class, Smokey Bear?” He gestures toward my side with that grin still plastered to his face, and I realize I’m still clutching my flask.

“Bourbon, but, uh… I wasn’t expecting to find anyone else… let alone a class…” I suddenly remember my annoyance at finding any other human, even a charming one, out here in my sanctuary. If it wasn’t going to be Alex, I’m not excited about sharing it with anyone, especially if I’m out here brooding about Alex. I fold my arms, tucking the flask behind my elbow, and fix him with a scowl.

“So, uh, do you come here often?” Oh for fuck’s sake. “No, I didn’t mean it like that…”

Too late. He booms with laughter. “Well now you have to buy me a drink!” He bounds over, snatching the flask out of my hand and dangling it over my head.

The embarrassment’s gotten to me and I can’t help laughing a little now. “Sure, knock yourself out… what’s your name?”

“Chris,” he says, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and passing the flask back.  “And no, this is my first time coming up here. What’s your name? I can’t just keep calling you Smokey…”

“Cora,” I frown. As I take a drink, I dig through my memory for whatever it was about his name that sparked in the back of my mind. “Chris… do I know you from somewhere? You from Seattle?”

“Yeah, I’m from Seattle, you’ve maybe seen me around…” before waiting, utterly unhelpfully, for me to place him, attempting to keep a straight face and failing miserably.

“Hang on, you’re not…” his grin widens. “Chris, like Soundgarden Chris?”

“Soundgarden Chris,” he shakes my hand a little too vigorously, almost knocking me off balance. “Chris Cornell. You know the band?”

“Yeah, I saw you guys at the Moore a few months back, February I want to say?” he nods. “You’re really good.” I’d even picked up a tape at the merch table that night.

“Usually the hair is the giveaway.” He gives his curls a shake for emphasis.

“Maybe to the more typically statured, sure. I have a hard time actually seeing a band on stage from down here.” I rock onto the tiptoes of my hiking boots.

“Fair enough. Bet people recognize you by your hair a lot, too…” he muses, making to tuck an escaped lock of it behind my ear, but I swat his hand away and shoot him a dirty look.

“Hey man, you don’t want to piss off a bear, do you?” I brush the hair off my forehead myself and sit down on one of the rocks with the best view of the valley. Chris follows and sits down next to me.

“No, not even a tiny little bear like you. But seriously, that’s a great color. Is it –”

“Yes, it’s my natural hair color…” I mutter, wary of what almost always comes next. 

“Sorry,” he grins, “just don’t spot too many natural redheads in the wild. You’re like an endangered species.”

“Okay asshole if you think I haven’t heard this fucking line before –”

“W-what line?”

“Ha ha, very funny. Endangered redheads, gotta fuck to save the species. You’re hilarious.”

I look away as I spit the words out before fixing him with a toxic glare, expecting to see him wearing the usual smartass smirk that usually accompanies such obnoxious pickup lines. Instead, his face is frozen in the perfect mix of horror and amusement.

“You… you really weren’t using a line, were you?”

“No, I wasn’t,” he says in wide-eyed bewilderment, “I promise, I was not offering to procreate with you. I mean I can, if you want, but…” the demonic smile creeps back onto his face.

I wrinkle my nose with a grin and shake my head, handing him the flask back. I’ve misjudged the poor thing a couple of times now, maybe it’s time to let up.  

“Sorry. You just wouldn’t believe…”

“Oh, I bet I would. People are animals. I’d sure as shit hate to put up with a quarter of what women have to listen to,“ he says, nodding somberly over his swig of bourbon, and I feel a surge of affection for him that is mixed with guilt for being so judgmental. We sit quietly for a while, drinking and enjoying the view, before he breaks the silence.

“So what do you do for a living, when you’re not laying waste to suitors or educating the public about the dangers of forest fires?”

“I’m never going to hear the end of that, am I?”

“Not if I can help it.”

“Well, I’m not sure if I’d say it’s ‘for a living,’ but I guess if I’m talking to a musician, you know what that’s like. I’m a PhD student down at UW. And I just took a job waiting tables at the Cyclops in the meantime, because science isn’t exactly the best get rich quick scheme.”

Chris raises his eyebrows mid-drink, clearly curious. “Wow. PhD. Egghead, huh? I like it. What are you studying? Please tell me it’s forest fires. Or bears.” He nudges my shoulder with his, almost knocking me off-balance for the second time, and hands me back my flask.

“Hey! No, nothing like that. I am in the forest science department though…”

“I knew it! You really are Smokey Bear.”

“Ugh, no. I’m studying soils.”

“As in dirt?”

“As in dirt.”

“What about it?”

“I want to understand how changing levels of Arctic ice affect carbon storage in permafrost.”

“Come again?”

Aww, the poor thing looks genuinely interested. I take a deep breath and a swig of bourbon, mentally planning my route. The more time I spend in school, the longer and more pedantic my answer to this “what do you do” question seems to get. Maybe one day I’ll wise up and resort to one-word answers, but I have a feeling that won’t work here.

“Okay, well… the whole global warming thing, right?”

“Yeah?”  

I raise my eyebrows, pleasantly surprised by how intently he’s listening. “Ok, so the greenhouse effect… we release carbon dioxide into the atmosphere, which traps heat and warms up the planet?” Chris nods. “So, as it gets warmer, Arctic sea ice is covering less and less land area each summer – see, in the winter the Arctic ice cap is pretty consistent, but we can learn a lot about changes in the climate by measuring how small the ice cap melts down in the summer.”

Chris is still nodding, which either means he’s utterly lost and just humoring me, or he’s actually following. I hate that I’m losing my ability to distinguish between the two.

“Well, as the planet warms up, that melting ice cap exposes progressively more and more bare soil each year -”

“Whoa there Professor, this lecture just got sexy!” He barks a laugh that echoes down the cliff, making me wince sheepishly.

“Ugh, gross. Anyway, the soil’s frozen solid –” Chris struggles to get a grip “– and we don’t know a lot about it because it’s always covered over, but the melting ice gives us the opportunity to study it better. So I’m going up there every summer and drilling holes to collect samples.”

“Wow…” he murmurs, looking genuinely impressed. “You go up there by yourself?”

“Yeah. I went last summer. I’m leaving in a few weeks for another trip.”

“Like, no one goes with you? Your boss or whatever?”

“My advisor? I think he’s a myth. He’s never around. So no, he doesn’t go with me… and what, I’m supposed to need a chaperone?”

“No, not at all, I just… that’s pretty badass, Smokey.”

“Yeah, digging in frozen dirt, it’s a fascinating life.”

“No, really, that’s incredible. People like you are going to save all this –” he gestures out at our view, with snow still visible on the highest peaks “– from the rest of us assholes, I’m sure of it. I’m glad you’re doing what you’re doing.”

I can’t tell whether it’s his sincerity or the bourbon that disarms me and makes me blurt out exactly what’s on my mind. “I’m glad I met you, Chris. Not as glad as I am that you didn’t burn us to death, but still. Normally I hate people, but you’re okay.”

He grins as I pass him the last of the bourbon, which he drains. “Don’t get so effusive, you might strain something. You must really hate people if you literally go to the edge of the earth on purpose every year.”

We sit in silence for a while before Chris makes me jump by shouting, “shit, what time is it?”

“Just about 6:30.”

“Shit,” he says again, “Susan’s going to kill me, I’m going to be late.”

I arch an eyebrow. “Susan? So there’s a Mrs. Cornell? How come she didn’t get invited to your degenerate weed party in the woods?”

He shuffles a boot in the dirt and gives a small chuckle. “Yeah, I’m a newlywed, but she’s not Mrs. She kept her maiden name. Susan’s got no time for stuff like this. She’s a big shot music manager. And anyway, she’s, ah, not the outdoorsy type.”

Although Susan sounds kind of cool and I want to ask him more, the edge in his tone reminds me of this morning’s fight with Alex, so I just stand up in silence to help gather our things and hasten our exit.

We head back down the mountain together, making small talk about school, music, the neighborhood – turns out he and Susan used to live only a few blocks away from where I am now in Lower Queen Anne. I’m surprised at how quickly the time has passed when we arrive back at our cars, but the rapidly fading light confirms it’s gotten late.  

Chris hurriedly grabs a pen and a piece of paper from a notebook sticking out of his bag and jots down his number. “Cora, don’t lose this, I want to hang out again soon,” he urges. “You should come to our show! We’re playing at the Off Ramp on the 23rd, kind of a going-away thing before we head out on tour.”

“Yeah, that’s right before I go on my trip, I think I can make it.” I tuck the paper into my pocket. When I look up, Chris is already jogging toward his car.

“Drive safe!” he yells over his shoulder.

I shake my head as I climb into the Rabbit. It’s definitely not every day that one runs into a local rock legend almost burning down a forest. But at least he helped me forget about Alex for a couple of hours. Alex. I sigh as I turn the engine over and start my trip home to deal with the fallout.

[dailyaudiobible]

03/26/2017 DAB Transcript

Deuteronomy 5:1-6:25 ~ Luke 7:11-35 ~ Psalm 68:19-35 ~ Proverbs 11:29-31

Today is the 26th day of March.  Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible.  I'm Brian. It' is great to be here with you as we turn the knob, open the door, step through the threshold into a brand new week, releasing everything that is behind us and looking forward to everything that is to come.  This week we’ll read from the Common English Bible and pick up where we’ve left off in the book of Deuteronomy where Moses is giving his final three talks, the final things that he will say to the children of Israel, the way he will charge them as they go forward before he recedes into history.  Deuteronomy chapter 5, verse 1 through 6:25.  

Commentary

As Moses speaks to the children of Israel and puts a weightiness behind his words, because these are the last things he is going to say and he will pass the torch of leadership on, we can see the urgency, the urgency that he has for the people that he has led out of Egypt through the wilderness to the precipice once again of crossing the Jordan into the promised land.  So he is certainly reviewing their history and the law and it is great review for us because we’ve spent ample time working our way to this point.  But what he is telling them is timeless.  He is saying, “Look, the wilderness has been long and we have stayed here longer than we needed to.  We have seen God in his glory on our behalf in so many ways, in so many situations. He has sustained us.  We are still here.  After a whole generation of wandering in the desert, we’re still here and we’re ready to go in.  But you need to think about what that is going to look like.  Because it has been the point we have focused on for so long, just getting across the Jordan out of the wilderness, into the land of promise.”

“When you get there, you’re going to find that the land is beautiful and it has wonderful towns that you didn’t have to build and houses that have stuff in them that you didn’t put there and cisterns for your water that you didn’t dig and vineyards and olive groves that you didn’t plant, so all of a sudden things will rapidly shift.  You’ll move out of the wilderness into the promised land and he will have to fight for that promised land but you will be victorious.  And then it is going to get easy.  You’ll be at peace.  You’ll have homes.  You’ll have plenty.  You won't be wandering anymore, wondering if one of the nearby nations might attack you, wondering where the next meal is coming from, wondering what the future might look like.  That will have been answered.  It is then that you find your great test.”  

“Watch yourself,” Moses said.  “Don’t forget the Lord who brought you out of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. Revere the Lord your God.  Serve him.  Take your solemn pledges in his name.  Don’t chase other gods, those gods of the people around you because the Lord your God who is with you and among you is a passionate god.  The Lord your God's anger will burn against you.  Don’t test the Lord your God.  You must carefully follow him.”

That is timeless.  And if we will look at our lives, and maybe some of us are in the wilderness right now, longing for that point, focusing on that point where we can cross over out of the wilderness and into promise, but we’ve all gone through those seasons, isn’t it true that once we get out of that season, out of focusing all of our attention on God and walking through that season, that, yes, indeed, things get easy, comfortable, and we forget and then we keep forgetting until we have walked right back into the wilderness again?  

Moses has the foresight to warn these people of what will be the greatest challenge, a greater challenge than the wilderness itself, the challenge of remembering the Lord their God when everything is going wonderful.  

And this is our challenge and so may we take heed.  We can remember this moment of contemplation now.  We can remember this.  We can remember to remember God.  We’re going to get to see what this actually looks like both ways, with God and without God.  So may we remember this moment, this moment of warning that Moses gave the children of Israel and through them is giving us because the paths will be laid out for us and we are continually choosing one or the other.  

Prayer

Holy Spirit, we invite you into that now because we’re going to see this greater theme unfold before us in the coming weeks and months.  We invite you into this now because we can look at our own lives and see that this is true.  Help us, God, to not forget.  We stay so close to you in the wilderness just asking for relief and then you come in your mercy and kindness and rescue us and we have a bad habit of abandoning you and that is so sad.  It is so heartbreaking.  And that isn’t the story we want to be telling.  That is not the story we want to be telling to the world and it is not the story we want to be telling while we’re in the world.  The story we want to be involved in is one of intimacy with you in all things, at all times, in all places, in all circumstances, that we are intertwined and inseparable.  So forgive us for the ways that we have abandoned you in thought, word, and deed by what we have done and by what we have left undone.  Forgive us.  Have mercy upon us.  We return to you.  We walk with you.  You are the hope of the world.  You are the hope of our lives and the story we want to be telling is one of friendship, one of intimacy, one of awe, one of reverence, one that never ends, one that is not waiting to begin, one that has begun and will never end.  Come Holy Spirit, we pray.  In Jesus’ name we ask, amen.  

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If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that at the website as well.  There is a link.  It's on the home page.  Thank you profoundly for clicking that link.  That is how we’re here.  Thank you. If you are using the Daily Audio Bible App, you can press the More button in the lower right-hand corner or, if you prefer, the mailing address is P.O. Box 1996, Spring Hill, TN 37174.  

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or comment, (877) 942-4253 is the number to dial.  

And that's it for today.  I'm Brian. I love you and I’ll be waiting for you here tomorrow.  

Community Prayer Requests and Praise Reports

Hi.  It's McKenzie calling from California.  I just wanted to let all of you guys know that I'm praying for you and that there are people hearing your experiences and just wishing that God would __________ your lives in those hard times.  I just wanted to share a quick experience with you guys and some quick words of knowledge.  I recently attended a youth camp with our church and it was so eye-opening to me. I'm a believer and I love God and have always loved God since I was really little, but it was just such a different experience and I got to see God in a whole other way.  I got to see him move within young people.  I got to see him move within youth pastors, within older people.  I got to pray for people.  I saw kids who at the beginning of the camp refused to worship God, would cuss, talk inappropriately, dress inappropriately, by the end they wanted to get baptized and were worshipping God with all of their hearts.  People were healed and it was so incredible. You can’t experience something like that and think that God is not alive and here with us.  So sometimes that is easy to forget.  Super easy to forget.  Extremely, with difficult things going on in our lives.  Like I have really bad anxiety so it was super difficult for me to go but I'm so happy I did because I just really got to experience God in a whole new way.  I just want you guys to just always continue to love him and worship him through everything and just remember that God is there with you and he is there.  With everything, call on him.  Thank you guys.  Love you.  Bye.  

Hey, Brian.  This is Rich from Arkansas.  First off, I wanted to say hello to Blind Tony who has been my friend since January 1st.  Brian, I want to ask the family to reach out for me.  I did 500 days’ sobriety and I went to New York for a job interview, guys, and I kind of fell on my feet and I don’t understand.  Five hundred days of being sober and now I'm off.  I’ve been following the Daily Audio Bible because, I mean, for anyone that deals with addiction, I would tell you that I believe there is a healing and I totally believe that Jesus can heal.  This 12-step thing, I mean, I don’t know.  I'm fighting with it, but I know that Jesus healed the blind in one step, so I think he can heal me too.  So I hope this gets played.  I’ve been following.  Brian, you’ve been encouraging me.  After your mom passed, I’ve been following through the book of Moses and the story about how Joseph was so in trouble.  

Good morning family.  This is Biola from Maryland.  I hope you’re all doing well.  Brian and Jill, God bless you.  Know that you’ve been in my prayers every single day.  And Lord, I just want to thank you for that More Conference.  I thank you, O God, because your power and your anointing will be evident.  Every woman that will be going, O Father, I pray in the name of Jesus that they will not remain the same.  Holy Spirit, that you will come for your daughter's hearts, in the name of Jesus. Teri from Delaware, I was so happy to hear all your testimonies and I pray that God will continue to put testimonies in your mouth, in the name of Jesus.  Candace from Oregon, my sister, know that I prayed for you when I heard your prayer request and your heart's cry.  And I just prayed that God would comfort you, he would wrap his arms around you and your family, he would give you your heart's desire at this time. Know that your husband is with the Lord and the Lord has a heart for the brokenhearted and he is there with you, sister, and he is grieving with you.  God bless you, my sister.  Valerie from Dallas, TX.  I heard your prayer request with deep hurts in my heart.  Father Lord, I pray for this sister, O God, Lord, and whatever is going on in her family, I arrest, O God, Lord, the work of the enemy even in that family, in the name of Jesus.  Father, Lord, you said, O God, Lord, that they will come against us, O God. They will gather against us, O Lord, but every one that is gathered, every demon that is gathered against Valerie, O God, and her family in Texas, O God, and __________ will fall for her sake. I bind every work of evil in that family, in the name of Jesus, and release your grace, O God, your power even into that family.  In Jesus’ name.  Nicki from North Vancouver, I'm praying for your grandson Leif, that God would touch him in his heart of hearts that respects God, that respects authority, in Jesus’ name.  Sidney, I prayed for your situation and I prayed for that young man.  I arrest even that spirit of evil that you think is harassing him right now and I decree that it will be delivered, in the name of Jesus. God bless you.  

Hi there, this is Jerrie from Wyoming, also known as __________.  I'm currently in Orem, UT on my travels and just got done listening to Daily Audio Bible.  It is March the 23rd I believe, 22nd, 23rd? Oh, I travel too much.  I’ve just discovered how love works __________ through Daily Audio Bible.  Oh my goodness, just to hear the beautiful voices of you all.  It's just such a blessing to me.  And __________ just hearing the whole story of Candace.  I’ve only been listening for a few months and hearing the beautiful voice of Candace sing and just hearing her and who she is, that is the voice of love.  And then to have her go through what she has gone through with the death of her husband, but on the other side of that hearing the voice of love from you all in condolences and lifting her up and singing to her and blessing her and touching her family, that is the voice of love.  It's just taken me such a long time to learn how to love and be a love to others.  The more I listen and the more I hear your voices speak out to others, I'm learning about love.  And then hearing Candace rejoice in praise with you all and thanking you all for all the wonderful words that you have given her, that is the voice of love.  It is wonderful to see the cycle of love given out and received and given back in return.  I'm learning about love and it is through you all and…

Hi fellow Dabbers.  It's Joe the Protector from Georgia.  It's March 23rd, 8:00 in the morning.  Just been listening to the prayers for our precious Candace from Oregon. Candace, I just want to lift you up as well and just cover you with many prayers over your loss.  I'm sure it is such a heartache losing a close loved one like that and just going through the pain.  You know in the end you are going to see him again.  He is in a better place and so we just lift you up right now, though, as you’re going through the heartaches of it and your family.  Just keep up those sweet songs you phone in. We all enjoy them.  So anyhow, Tony from California, I believe, called in. Brother, want to lift you up in this time and struggle you’re going through as your career as a correctional officer is causing issues in your marriage.  I can totally relate.  As a 16-year law enforcement veteran, I went through the same issues, I'm sure.  I was a correctional officer at one time and I know how they train you and how they teach you to react to situations.  The way you’re taught to do that isn’t biblically based.  I'm not saying that it is wrong, but it is just not…I don’t believe it is a godly thing to do.  Anyhow, if you want to contact me, KellyJMcClendon@yahoo.com.  

Good morning, this is Inez calling from Arizona.  I just called to send my condolences to Candace and her family. I'm so sorry to hear about the loss in your family.  I know that your husband is now in heaven and I rejoice with you in that, but I also am feeling a little bit sorrowful because of that loss.  I don’t know you, but through Daily Audio Bible I do. Because you always share with us a song, I'm going to share a song with you also, Wonderful Peace.  I'm going to sing the first part of it in Navajo.  [Singing]