#clever as a pike

[onaperduamedee]

For my part I have sought liberty more than power, and power only because it can lead to freedom. What interested me was not a philosophy of the free man (all who try that have proved tiresome), but a technique: I hoped to discover the hinge where our will meets and moves with destiny, and where discipline strengthens, instead of restraining, our nature.

— Memoirs of Hadrian by Marguerite Yourcenar, translated from the French by Grace Frick

[dcbnam-aep]

no bc moiraine echoing to siuan the last thing her dad told her as she's being exiled and thinks that she's also never going to see siuan again gets me every time-

[nalebifrie]

the Mother finally braced our screens again with a crown of light- made daggers

👑🌟 🛐

[aj-lenoire]

i like that pike asked "which one is the black skull?" because since the rules were explained i was like... can she ask that?

[valyrfia]

audiobooks really are like. The Adult Life Hack. need to do chores but sick of video essays and podcasts? audiobook. need to relax before bed but eyes are strained from looking at a screen? audiobook. long commute getting you down? audiobook. it’s the secret ingredient

[onaperduamedee]

This is premium ship manifesto that I am sorry to add onto with my wailing. Your post articulates so well the appeal of their relationship, beyond romance.

Perhaps one of the most famous french quotes about friendship is from Michel de Montaigne's Les Essais. Trying to explain his feelings for friend Étienne de la Boétie, he maintains that in friendship, souls mingle and blend into each other to the point where the seam that joined them disappear and that "if one presses me to say why I loved him, I feel it cannot be expressed, only by answering: because it was him; because it was me." (traduction mine)

The most touching element about their relationship is how little need there is for the other to exist as anything but what she is. Other point of view characters will always reflect on how scary, cold or harsh both are. Yet, when they meet again in The Great Hunt, they hug each other warmly and Siuan reminds her that Moiraine "[is] the only one [...] with whom [she] can remember who [she was]. In New Spring Moiraine reflects" "She had never been as close to anyone as she was to Siuan. Or loved anyone as much."

Like their dedication to the Dragon Reborn, there is a certain intrinsigence to their affection: while the world would want them to be softer, they remain exactly who they have always been, Siuan and Moiraine, and love and trust each other exactly as they are. They didn't change each other, they changed together and in parallel as the mission required.

However lacking in emotion and care Min or Egwene perceive Moiraine and Siuan, they remain complete in each other's eyes, trusting the other with the fate of the world. As magnificently explained in the post above, they do not trust anyone else with it, not the Dragon Reborn, not their warders. The leeway and protection Siuan gives Moiraine in handling the search and the length to which Moiraine goes to preserve Siuan's position, although much of her protecting goes into the unsaid, as much as the acceptance of said shielding for people who are used to doing the shielding themselves, are declaration of love enough.

I would add that we do see Moiraine threatening Thom to keep Siuan's involvement a secret in The Shadow Rising in the most dramatic, threatening manner:

"An Aes Sedai with connections high in the White Tower, I would say, else she’d not risk what she has. Someone in the Hall of the Tower? More than one, I’d say; it would have to be. News of that would shake the world. But why should there be trouble? Perhaps it’s best to leave an old gleeman tucked away in his hole in the servants’ quarters. Just an old gleeman playing his harp and telling his tale. Tales that harm no one."

If he had managed to stagger her even a fraction, she did not show it. "Speculation without facts is always dangerous," she said calmly. "I do not use my House name, by choice. House Damodred had a deservedly unpleasant reputation before Laman cut down Avendoraldera and lost the throne and his life for it. Since the Aiel War, it has grown worse, also deservedly."

They are implacable when it comes to each other.

Thinking all day today about how intensely romantic it is to me that Moiraine's literal narrative designated role in the both the books and show is that of Protector, how she spends basically her entire screentime and pagetime protecting and shielding the EF5 and Lan and even random innocent bystanders, and how Siuan is the only person in book and show that she escapes this narrative role with.

To begin with, Jordan very intentionally crafted Moiraine to be the Gandalf of the story, but even aside from that meta note, it is easy to see narratively that from the very start Moiraine's self-designated job in the show and books is to shield and protect the EF5 - especially Rand but everyone else too - from every danger that comes their way until she can get them to the Last Battle, no matter how hard they try to resist their fate.

Even Lan, her stalwart companion of 20+ years, doesn't escape this fierce protectiveness, despite his whole-hearted willingness to accept the same dangers she herself faces. In the show, leaving Lan behind to go to the Eye of the World inarguably makes things harder for Moiraine, but it's her way of ensuring he doesn't get caught in the crossfire of the prophecies and die, even though she readily accepts this fate for herself. In the books, passing Lan's bond is something even the people closest to her disapprove of, but she does it anyway because she's seen all the possible futures, and she knows that this is literally the ONLY way to get him out alive, even if he won't thank her for it. In both book and show, she protects him even against his own wishes, just as she does with the EF5.

Her protectiveness even extends to people who seem inconsequential in her fight against the Shadow. Basel Gill is just a common innkeeper. He's not Aes Sedai, he's not royalty, he's not even particularly rich. The only remarkable things about him are that he's unfailingly loyal to Moiriane, and kind to anyone who needs help. And Moiraine is FURIOUS that Elaida might have harmed him as collateral damage in her quest to her find out what Moiraine is up to. Her icy fury is only assuaged when Siuan personally assures her that he's safe. Again and again throughout the story, despite being mistrusted by so many people, Moiraine acts as protector to even the most seemingly insignificant people, and to me personally, that's the real reason why she deserves to succeed in her quest to fight the shadow, not because she's the narrative-designated good guy or whatever.

And then, there's Siuan.

Siuan is really the only person whom Moiraine never seems to show protective inclinations towards. If anything, for once it's the opposite. In the books, Siuan openly says that most of her problems dealing with the Aes Sedai stem from Moiraine, because the Aes Sedai think Siuan should control Moiraine's actions more and bring her to heel. Siuan's trial - sham though it was - doesn't hinge on the fact that she supports Rand, but on the fact that she conspired for 20+ years with Moiraine to find him. In the show, the danger that supporting Moiraine's quest puts Siuan in is even starker because of how politically DEVASTATING the consequences of exiling Moiraine are going to be for Siuan. The Blue Ajah has loyally stood behind Siuan through her tenure as Amyrlin, and what does Siuan do in return for them? In a time when they're being attacked by every Ajah, Siuan exiles Moiraine - one of the strongest, most talented, and most well-regarded Blue Ajah members - over a petty adolescent rivalry, thereby effectively proving to the Blue Ajah that she cares nothing for their stalwart loyalty to her. Siuan knows how bad this is going to look. She knows that with this exile, she'll solidify her view in the Aes Sedai's eyes as a trifling tyrant, who puts petty enmities above the Tower's wellbeing, and that she'll lose the loyalty of the only Ajah in the entire tower that once whole-heartedly supported her. She does it anyway because she knows the fate of the world is more important than securing her own position.

And Moiraine lets it happen, both in the books and show, she expects Siuan to shoulder that cost, because Siuan is the one person whom she's willingly met on an equal plane, the only person besides herself whom she's willing to let shoulder the full consequences of the quest. It goes beyond them being lovers (although personally I'd argue this is WHY they're lovers), it even goes beyond them being partners who started the quest together when they were barely out of childhood. Moiraine, who looks into all the possible futures that could lead to the Light's victory and defeat, who looks into all the lives that would need to be saved or sacrificed in the timeline where the Light wins, probably knows exactly what fate awaits Siuan, and she lets it happen, because they're equals in a way that goes far beyond rank or birth or experience, and it so fucking romantic precisely because it eclipses even the usual trappings of romance. Because she knows Siuan wouldn't be Siuan, any more than Moiraine would be Moiraine, if she doesn't do what needs to be done in order for the Light to win, even if it means sacrificing her own life. Moiraine is the one on the quest, but Siuan is whom she relies on to build the foundation to keep her quest going, even if it means the path crumbles at Siuan's heels.

Just... GOD. Other ships can keep their overwrought proclamations of undying love and desire and whatnot. To me, the most romantic thing in the world is narrative-designated Protector Moiraine Damodred looking at Siuan Sanche and going "this is the one person i don't instinctively feel the need to protect and shield from life's harms". To me, it's so intensely romantic that in both show and book canon she looks at Siuan surrounded in a death trap by a group of the most powerful and smartest women in the world and peaces out going "she's not stuck in a room with y'all, y'all are stuck in a room with her, good fucking luck. YEET."

[nonasuch]

With Miss Universe 2022 coming down the pike, I’ve realized that I somehow missed one of my favorite bonkers fashion events for both 2020 and 2021! Which cannot stand. Before I start, though, I want to discuss some of the common Fashion Pitfalls of the Miss Universe national costume event.

There are some broad categories that most Miss Universe national costumes will fall into. Generally, they will incorporate one or more of the following elements:

There is a delicate balance to be sought, between using too few of these elements, and trying to incorporate too many into a single look. The other important axis is, of course, execution, both of concept and in construction and materials.

Basically, the ideal Miss Universe national costume scores high on the following measures:

Wearability: is the contestant visibly struggling to balance the giant headdress, is it too heavy to move naturally, are the spike heels likely to catch on the fringe, etc

Construction: is the costume well-made from beautiful, high-quality materials, are the wings securely attached, if there are moving parts do the mechanisms get stuck, is it visibly shedding rhinestones or feathers

Concept & Execution: does the costume have a novel or well-thought-out inspiration, and is that idea executed with a clever and visually appealing design? or did you just paint SAVE THE RAINFOREST on a cape and call it a day?

Aesthetics: is it actually nice to look at? what percentage of the audience is going to tilt their head to one side and say “huh. okay,” when they see it?

The Fucking Audacity: this one is hard to articulate but tbh you’ll know it when you see it.

Scoring especially high in any of the above categories may compensate for a deficit in one of the others, especially if you go extra hard on Fucking Audacity.

up next: some  compare & contrast!

[moxyphinx]

SIUAN SANCHE: Daughter of the river. Clever as a pike. Strong as the tides.

[tiamat-zx]

I’ve just realized why it’s a good thing that Keyleth didn’t get her vestige yet.

Because Raishan would have been prepared for it.

She openly stated, “You think I’d have helped you acquire these vestiges if they’d be a threat to me?”

She pulled all their strings, made them dance as she wanted, both to get them to fracture and to use them for her own ends.

She showed no fear against the Plate of the Dawnmartyr, knowing that transferring herself into Thordak’s corpse gives her new flame breath necrotic properties that would overload and blow out the plate, thus rendering it harmless. And in the process, Pike was put out of commission, thus removing Vox Machina’s healer from the board.

Her undead body felt no pain, thus ruling out the various elemental properties of Fenthras, the sonic slashes of Mythcarver, and even the thunderous might of the Titanstone Knuckles, neutralizing anything that Vex, Scanlan, or Grog could have done.

She easily held Vax in place in spite of the Deathwalker’s Ward granting him speed and flight, and easily could have done him in.

And even if they had retrieved Cabal’s Ruin… any redirected magic would have been useless as she would have been unfazed.

She even intentionally baited Keyleth into killing her original form, knowing how vengeful she was.

She had everything calculated to be in her favor.

…except for one thing.

She didn’t anticipate Keyleth seeking out the other Ashari, or for her to unlock her earth elemental form.

Nor did she anticipate Keyleth baiting Raishan herself into reducing “herself” and her old body to ashes. Once she did that, those diseased ashes were able to be “reclaimed” back into the earth… and redistributed back to her undead form thanks to Keyleth’s earth elemental form serving as an anchor keeping them connected.

In other words, Keyleth utilized all she had learned across three seasons to outlast and ultimately outwit… or rather, dare I say, DECEIVE the Deceiver.

And now she’s nothing more than a DECEASED Deceiver. All because she woefully underestimated Keyleth’s persistence, cleverness, tenacity, and natural strength.

She called her a “child”.

She really shouldn’t have.

Because now, all of her plotting and planning to escape her curse… amounted to nothing.

And thus nature took its course and finished the job.

Hail to the fucking Tempest.

[onaperduamedee]

On your knees.

[doomspaniels]

I LOVE HER

Pichael is learning the way of the fish (swimming). She bitch slapped a toy to the depths of the pool and in a desperate attempt to be the goodest little creature, she managed to retrieve a strap attached to her little life jacket instead.

[celestialvoyeur]

💛💙SPIRK FIC REC - MY FAVOURITES💙💛

As a follow up to my recent post about how few fics make it to my favourites list, and how special they are to achieve that distinction, I decided to share my current list.

I’ve shared some of these individually in the past but here you’ll have them all together. 

If you've read any of these already then I'd love to hear your thoughts on whether you loved them as much as I did! 🥰

(NB: these are not listed in any order of preference. Mostly it’s the reverse order in which I read them)

Leave No Soul Behind by whochick Words: 258,951

AOS, AU Canon-Divergence. Spock, Kirk and the other valiant members of the Emergency Personnel Ambulance Service fight to save lives and turn the tide of the ongoing war against Nero and his fleet before it’s too late. Such a beautiful slow burn for Spock and Kirk.

Atlas by distractedKat Words: 135,529

AOS. Follow on from 2009, Kirk, Spock and the rest deal with the aftermath of Nero’s attack and rebuilding after the decimation of the ‘Fleet and Academy. An exciting tale with twists and turns involving black ops, bad-mirals, action, love and fierce loyalty.

The Lotus Eaters by aldora89 Words: 93,594

AOS. Stranded on a planet together, with multiple dangers and very little hope of rescue, Jim and Spock have no choice but to rely on each other to survive. Spectacular plot, amazing world building, fabulous original character and an epic slow burn Spirk love story!

With Your Feet on the Air and Your Head on the Ground by flippyspoon Words: 39,188 @flippyspoon

SNW. A phenomenal Spirk fic in which Kirk is stuck in Spock's mind while the crew work to find a way to retrieve his body. A wonderful getting to know you/falling for you hard tale. Wonderfully written and highly entertaining.

Evolution by Rhaegal (RhaegalKS) Words: 149,293

AOS. Covering the first year of their 5 year mission, this is totally flawless. The character voices are perfection, the prose spectacular. The whole thing plays like an AOS movie. It’s phenomenal.

Emotions by LadyRa Words: 35,569

TOS. Spock gets drugged on a shore leave and is overwhelmed with its effects. Kirk tries to pick up the pieces. A beautiful, and wonderfully grounded, story of realising how much they mean to each other.

And When the Bond Breaks by LadyRa Words: 24,631

TOS. Spock takes out a shuttle to investigate an anomaly and returns to an Enterprise that’s not his own. Time travel shenanigans with such emotional depth that it will traumatise you in the best way. Stunningly good!

All Our Tomorrows Come Today by flippyspoon Words: 18,156 @flippyspoon

SNW. A newly introduced Jim and Spock accidentally get a glimpse into the future and see what they’re going to be to each other (a.k.a. Spirk’s Greatest Hits). A stunningly told story about finding the great love of your life. 

I Won't Make That Mistake Again by Moreta1848 Words: 69,402 @jennelikejennay

SNW/TOS. An epic story detailing Spock and Kirk’s love throughout their lives, beginning from their meeting on Pike’s Enterprise (SNW) and continuing on to an eventual  Generations fix-it happy ending. Wonderful!

No Going Back, No Before by spirkme Words: 78,486 @spirkme915

SNW/TOS. Timeline shenanigans, spies, twists & turns, pining, angst, sacrifice and so so much love!

The 1,000 Hour Sleep by spqr Words: 27,227

SNW. Jim’s been infected with a pathogen that means he can’t sleep, but it he doesn’t he’ll die. Cue Spock and his Vulcan telepathy helping Jim to achieve the sleep he needs, while they get to know each other within their shared mindscapes. A sweet and exciting story about falling in love and overcoming your own inner demons.

First Best Destiny by Ophelia_j Words: 387,733

TOS/TNG. Such a very special fic. Epic in its scope, it covers the entire timeline of Spirk from their very first meeting through to a  clever and satisfying Generations fix-it ending. It provides extra scenes, additional dialogue and internal monologues to expand on existing canon in a really compelling and effective way. Truly this is my new TOS canon.

The Steadfastness of Stars by itsnatalie Words: 61,566

AOS. After Beyond, The crew investigate sudden climate change on a frozen planet and find more than they bargained for. The perfect mix of great plot, fun original characters, action, mystery, world building and deep deep love.

Let Forever Be by gunstreet Words: 43,446 @gunstreet

TOS. A really compelling character study of James T. Kirk. An excellent companion piece to City on the Edge of Forever. Exploring what Jim and Spock got up to, and all they had to overcome, while trying to find Bones and their way back home.

Time After Time by spaceisgay (ChancellorGriffin) Words: 138,921

SNW. Kirk spends a 6 month rotation on the Enterprise as part of his command training. OK, if there’s a favourite of my favourites then this may be it. It’s such a stunning version of their love story, with a beautifully constructed plot. It runs the emotional gamut from moments that will have you laughing out loud to moments that will have you in floods of tears. 

milk and honey by spaceisgay (ChancellorGriffin) Words: 28,651

SNW. Kirk and Spock meet for the first time when they wake up in a prison cell together. A really fun, and extremely clever, version of the ‘aliens made them do it’ trope. It’s intriguing and funny with a real depth of feeling throughout.

The Promised Land by gunstreet Words: 58,260 @gunstreet

TOS. A story that explores the time Jim and Spock spent apart between the end of the 5 year mission and TMP. It’s a beautiful story of reunion and renewal of love. Sometimes achingly sad, but it’s worth it for the happy ending.

Again, if you've read any of these already then I'd love to hear your thoughts on whether you loved them as much as I did! 🥰

[burr-ell]

A Not-Necessarily-Exhaustive List of Good Moments from C1 1-27:

"I have an intelligence of 6, I know what I'm doing"

"We're here to right wrongs, and right lefts—" "And write comment cards"

Tiberius Kraghammer

Clarota

"We'll explain later. You're on the roof of Osama bin Laden's house"

"We'll be taking your weapons, your armor, and I believe your pride"

Percy making the first trick arrows for Vex after a shopkeep was a dick to her about arrows, which is canonically when she began to fall for him

Keyleth killing that one duergar from the TLOVM flashback

"I encourage violence"

Lady Kima being freed and then pulverizing the corpse of the duergar who'd been torturing her

Matt's fucked up body horror monsters

Scanlan taking a dump on a bed for the first time

Pike's crisis of faith when she slits a duergar's throat with her mace and her holy symbol breaks

When the limited T-shirt run went live and then sold out before Marisha could finish reading the announcement

Vax getting his foot burned off in lava

Scanlan the Kingslayer

"Can I use my Luck feat for this?" "You don't have any feet left"

Kima and Keyleth's argument (it was good, haters eat my shorts)

The origin of The Cube

"I'm Vax that's Vex ->" "I'm Vex that's Vax <-"

"Screw you, I want my final words with you to be indignant and irritated!"

"He has three-quarters cover" "I ignore three-quarters cover :)" "...then fuckin' fire!"

"Some people have no sense of fucking honor!"

Travis's notes that just say "I don't trust Clarota I don't trust Clarota I don't trust Clarota"

Percy reacting to the Briarwoods being namedropped during a council meeting

Meeting Gilmore on-stream for the first time

The Belt of Dwarvenkind and Grog's obsessive attempts to grow a beard

Scanlan's blue-shit-scrying potion

Grog "Philip" Strongjaw vs Kern

Vax giving Minxie!Keyleth a belly rub

The hydra fight and the beef with the Slayer's Take

Episodes 18 and 19, in their entirety, but specifically:

Zahra and Vex's initial rivalry-turned-friendship-turned-"I have a crush on Zahra"

Lyra. She's just. so much. idk of what but she is it

"I'm wearing the pajamas with the buttflap and the buttflap is down. The buttflap is DOWN"

Scanlan introducing himself to Rimefang as Burt Reynolds and then Matt, in his scary dragon voice, calling him "Burt"

"I'm sorry, I'm a genius, I'm sorry! Oh, god I'm clever!"

Zahra killing Rimefang

Percy and Vex working together on a history check (it's important To Me)

Wil Wheaton rolling five Nat 1s. In one session

Keyleth and Vax posing as a married couple to get information

Kash insight-checking Thorbir, believing he has to be actively sabotaging them because no one could possibly be that bad at their job (he's not, he really is just that unlucky)

Wil, playing a dwarven fighter, finally rolling a nat 20...for an insight check

The magic carpet losing its enchantment in a pit of acid and Laura's scream of horror from offscreen

"Rakshasaaaaaaa!" -jazz hands-

Kashaw and Keyleth, which was thankfully reworked in TLOVM but was also hilarious

Vex exasperatedly kissing Grog, portrayed by Laura kissing a bewildered Travis

Tyriok the cartographer

Grog, the Vasselheim merchant, and the first and only time Vex started beef with a retailer

Keyleth recounting a vision she had of her own death

The Aramente trial in Pyrah and a cameo from Thordak

Travis getting a medal from a fan for losing to Kern and Matt making it canon

Grog fighting Kern again and winning

Keyleth getting arrested. For the second time in Vasselheim alone

The first appearance of the man. The myth. The Viktor

Kynan's first appearance and Vax's idea of "tough love"

Percy telling his backstory to the party and them immediately affirming their support for him ("You don't have to get involved in this" "Oh, we are SO involved" "You said you wanted 'em dead!") and Taliesin himself being moved to tears over this

Percy creating Diplomacy

Vax and Keyleth bear-sitting Trinket and braiding pink ribbons into his fur

Gilmore finding out Vax wants to see him and teleporting in from half a continent away

Vax shaving half of Grog's beard and Travis breaking a mechanical pencil with one hand

The feast, where Percy actually threatens the Briarwoods to their faces while disguised as Vax

Vax and the Briarwoods. "Gosh you guys are good-looking"

Vax nearly dying and having a vision of the two people he cares about most: Vex and Keyleth

Sylas jumping out the window and doing a perfect 3-point landing...while Delilah blows the athletics check and faceplants in the dirt

"SYLAS"

Vex scoring two crits on Delilah

Tiberius getting Feebleminded

Percy's attack on Desmond. My horrid little skrunkly <3

"YOUR SOUL IS FORFEIT! DIE! DIE!" and Keyleth skipping her turn to just stare at Percy

Vox Moochina

Keyleth taking charge to save the ember roc

Keyleth conjuring a water elemental and Taliesin gargling water to translate her commands to it

And finally, the conversation between Keyleth and Percy where he privately confesses his own worries that he's going dark and that he's afraid of himself, and she expresses her concern for him and promises to be there for him

anyway c1 good

[simplysparrow14]

I’m going to say more later but dragging out Percy’s resurrection and having placed right beside Scanlan’s Bards Lament for the final 3 episodes is both a clever choise and a sad Adaptation sacrifice.

First off, I can see *what* they’re trying to do — it was always going to be hard to tackle TWO big resurrection rituals in the show, especially back-to-back, especially since resurrection rituals are so similar in nature (you die, everyone says their praises, you come back to life) So the natural thing to do is to highlight one while overshadowing the other — literally what they’re setting up: Percy’s resurrection is going to be this big, emotional, group event. Vex is going to say that she loves him, it’s going to be sad and angsty and all that jazz.

Meanwhile Scanlan only gets to be in a coma for a second time (or he might actually be dead— the episode wasn’t very clear as to what it was)

And it’s like, that’s so Bards Lament!!! It’s literally all of the build up for Bards Lament packaged into one event — Percy gets the emotional confessions and praise and the big group resurrection while Scanlan only gets his rinky-dink little ritual with Kaylie, and maybe Pike where she tells him to come back from his coma.

And no one else in the group is going to give a shit because PERCY’S BACK!!!

Scanlan was in a coma and they didn’t even give two shits if he’s truly rotting on a death bed or simply asleep in a coma, because everyone else is more concerned about Percy.

and I’m like, that’s so clever and smart!!! Good writing!!!

But also I can’t help but feel that it undercuts Bards Lament — C1 Bards Lament was a sock to the face to the cast/characters who did not understand Scanlan’s emotional; it’s supposed to be this sudden, unexplained, telegraphed beyond the stars but still hits you like a fist to the eye moment, one where it leaves you reeling from its intensity.

TLOVM Bards Lament is feeling more like a kick to the groin — still hurts, mind you, but it’s not going to leave me cowering in a corner.

I can understand that in a show where you have to tie up loose ends, you can’t really leave out in such an emotionally charged moment —Seasons have to have a beginning, middle and end, after all. And for what TLOVM is worth, it has been paying those Bards Lament moments forward.

And like I get it, I GET IT — trying to condense 1000 hours of live-play into twelve 20-30 min episodes was always the biggest obstacle the show was ever going to try to handle. It’s not an easy task and I certainly don’t blame the writers/story supervisors or WHOEVER is in charge of making sure that the storybeats get hit in service to the show. Some things are almost always going to be either cut, rebound, repackage etc.

But it feels somewhat lackluster. I’m willing to see how these last few episodes stick the landing.

[thelaughtercafe]

Tension

Tea Type: Subtly Sweet Tea

Potential Triggers: Nothing comes to mind, but let me know if you think something should go here!

Pairing: Vax/F!Reader (Can be read as romantic or platonic!)

Length: 2.2k+

Summary: Vax's observant nature helps him discover you're hiding a few juicy secrets, and he helps encourage you to be more honest in the future.

A/N: So, new fandom, who dis? Yes, I'm now binging Critical Role Campaign 1, and completely whipped for Vax and Percy both. I'm up to the beginning of Episode 40, so no spoilers please but I have quite a few tword fic ideas. Also, I know Silence doesn't work in DND like this, but shhh fic liberties-

Vax was what many would call observant. Used to lingering in the shadows as he was, he found it almost comforting to look over his friends and family both if they lingered where he could see them. He sipped on his ale, watching as you chatted with Vex and Keyleth about something or other. Percy was tinkering with his machine’s as usual, paying the conversations around him no mind, and Scanlan had found himself a friend for the night. Grog had no such luck but he was no less happy to be enjoying ale by the mug full. Pike had also retired early, claiming tiredness and needing to work in a quiet environment unlike Percy. Vax himself was situated just by the bar, debating if teasing Percy or his sister would be more fun when he spotted something interesting. 

You’d quirked up and seemed to be waving your hands in a sheepish refusal. He couldn’t hear it from here what about, and opted to drift closer, expertly maneuvering the crowds of dwarves before he leaned against the wall by the stairs. 

“Really Grog, I appreciate the offer but it already feels better, I promise!”

“Do you doubt Grog’s masseuse skills?”

Vax felt a smile twitch at his lips, eyes narrowing perceptively as you refused again.

“Not at all! All the others rave about how great they are, I just genuinely don’t need one. It was just a spasm! Besides, Percy looks way more tense than I do, look at how the poor guy is hunched over!”

Grog lit up at that and grinned, whacking you on the shoulder cheerfully before moving to attend to Percy. 

“Grog can help with that! Great idea!”

You let out a sigh the moment the goliath turned his back to you, after ensuring the others were occupied. Vex had gone with Keyleth to grab more drinks and they were talking to the bartender, and you didn’t spot him, all but melded into the shadow of the stairs as he was. He saw the way you rolled not one, but both of your shoulders and winced, fingers pressing into and attempting to release the tension stored there.

He smirked darkly.

You were a clever little thing, weren’t you? Redirecting Grog, lying so he wouldn’t worry, feigning. You had a secret and if there was one thing Vax enjoyed? It was finding out that which should not be known. 

…and maybe punishing you, just a little, in the process for trying to pretend everything was fine when it wasn’t and being a naughty little liar. He'd warned you before, as had the others, it wasn't his fault you didn't listen. You had a nasty habit of trying to take on everyone else's burdens while denying your own. 

He figured you’d be retreating to your room sooner rather than later and after a gentle tap and a whisper to Vex telling her not to wait up, he found himself surprised as his sister grabbed his wrist before he could slip away. 

“Take care of her, will you? She’s been rubbing her shoulder anytime she thinks we’re not watching. If you hadn’t come over, I was going to press the issue. Shall I inform Pike?”

He cleared his throat in embarrassment, smiling sheepishly. Of course his sister had seen right through him, and you both. 

“Aye. You know I will. I’ll tell her, depending on how bad it is.” 

His eyes moved from her to where you were watching Percy try to escape Grog with fondness in your eyes. 

“...I have a feeling there’s a reason she’s dodging Grog’s attempts. Something she’s flustered about, if I had to guess.”

A smirk tugged at his lips as his mischievous eyes returned to his sister’s. 

“A shame, that. For her I mean.”

Vex’s look turned scolding. 

“Try and go easy on her, brother.”

He shrugged, amusement flooding him.

“Depends how quickly she folds, I suppose. If she’s stubborn, even I can't help but have a limit to my patience, you know. Besides, she may even enjoy my methods of persuasion. You certainly did~”

A flash of teeth and he dodged her playful slap with a laugh as she blushed. 

“Shut up, Vax! Honestly, I asked once, why can’t you just let it go?”

“Are you actually whining? Heh, does Percy know? Maybe I should-”

Vax couldn’t dodge fast enough this time as Vex tugged him down to hiss in his ear. 

“Breathe a word and Trinket will have your head.”

“Alright, alright, you win! Always so violent to your dear brother aren’t you?”

He brushed off his clothes before looking back over towards you. 

“Alright, I’m off. Wish me luck, hm? And be a dear and cast Silence for me, won’t you?”

Vex’ahlia sighed and with a moment of focus and a mumble it was done. 

“Doing that for her, not you!”

Was called after but Vax waved her off. 

Now all he had to do was hang out; he was sure you’d follow shortly. 

------

You cracked your neck and barely stifled a wince as your shoulder seized again. You hadn’t injured it, but thanks to holding all of your tension in them, and your neck; you were really feeling the effects. 

You felt bad redirecting Grog like that, but you’d seen the way Percy had grasped his shoulder too, and knew he wouldn’t crumple like you would. Lesser of two evils. He gave in eventually, and lucky for him, he probably wasn’t in pain anymore. It was early in the night, but you bid your remaining party goodnight and retired to your room. You jumped at the sight of Vax on your bed before relaxing, rolling your eyes. 

“You could’ve asked and I would’ve just given you the key to my room you know.”

He shot a boyish grin your way. 

“Where’s the fun in that? Besides, it’s good practice for my fingers. Got to keep them loose and limber, you know.”

“Mmhmm.”

You brushed him off as you flitted about your room and got changed for the night behind the folding screen. It had been a pleasant surprise the inn had one as many didn’t. 

You emerged in your nightgown and crossed your arms as you raised an eyebrow at him. 

“So…what’s up? Did you need something?”

He pretended to be stabbed in overdramatic fashion.

“Oh, you wound me! Can’t I come check on my favorite party member without ulterior motives?”

“Sure, you can and have before. But you’re typically chatty, and occasionally tipsy. You seem barely buzzed and you’ve been oddly quiet for you in general, let alone if this was one of your typical calls. You can tell me if I’m wrong but…I don’t like that look in your eye.”

He smiled, and moved to sit up from where he’d been laying on your bed, tossing his dagger carelessly. He placed it on the bedside table. He was already changed, you noted. In black two piece pajamas, and you’d spotted his black robe behind the curtain. Was he planning on staying overnight? You didn’t mind, of course but again…this was too meticulous. He was planning something, you just weren’t sure what. 

“What look might that be, darling?”

You hesitated and then swallowed, something giddy and nervous at once stirring in you as you felt heat in your cheeks and it made you look away. 

“Anticipation. You look not unlike the cat who got the cream. You almost look…predatory, if I had to pick the right word.”

“How frightening~ It’s nothing so serious as all that! “

He moved to stand and you stood your ground as he approached you, finally returning your gaze to his hazel eyes.

“How’re your shoulders?”

He placed his hands on your shoulders and he felt the way you tensed, racking your brain for an excuse. 

“Oh, you heard my conversation with Grog earlier, huh? Like I said, it was just a spasm. I’m fine now-”

His smile widened a tad and then he squeezed, with just the right amount of pressure to get the reaction he guessed at. 

“For reheHEal!” 

You tried to play it off as a cough, bending over and shoving at him to try to get him to release you. He did, backing up a step or two as he observed you. 

“Sorry about that. Worst time to get a cough.”

You mustered an apologetic smile, shaky though it was and Vax let his eyes narrow. 

“...Do you think I’m an idiot? You’re lying again? This is starting to become quite the habit. C’mon, lemme see.”

The expression you made was priceless but Vax kept his unamused expression as he grabbed you by the arm and dragged you over to the bed, gently sitting you down and then looking at you expectantly. Poor thing. You were clearly having an inner debate in your mind over what to do. Shame he wouldn't give you any more time. He motioned to the bed as he moved to stand. 

“Well? Go on, lay down. Let me see how bad it is.”

“It’s really nothing Vax, I swear! Just drop it!”

“Oh right, because you jolting like a scared gob’ was so subtle. If there’s truly nothing wrong then let me see.”

Gods he was such an asshole. Why did your reactions have to be so damn entertaining? …Still, he was absolutely going to Hell for leading you on like this. 

You reluctantly laid down face down and he situated himself at your hips, ensuring you weren’t in pain before continuing. 

“Alright, now you better tell me if anything hurts. I’ll know if you lie again. Got it?”

You nodded and he couldn’t help his smirk now that you couldn't see him, though his voice kept that concerned, slightly hard edge as he dug into your shoulders at once. 

You damn near about seized and your hand rushed to cover your mouth.

“Did that hurt?”

You shook your head and he growled. 

“You must really think I’m blind or something! You can’t even talk!”

Oh, yeah. Definitely going to Hell. 

Now that he was feeling your shoulders, though, it was obvious you had a lot of tension. No wonder you’d been rubbing them earlier. He let his thumbs do most of the work digging in and though he heard you squeak, now and again, every time he asked if you were in pain you denied. It was when his index and middle finger found a knot of tension on the cusp of your neck and shoulder that you finally broke, and tried to reach back to tap his leg, laughing. 

“Fhuhuhuck Vax please! It doesn’t huhuhurt it-it thihihihihckles!!” 

He giggled himself and stopped for a moment to crack his fingers before he answered, all casual nonchalance. 

“About time you admitted it.”

You whimpered in embarrassment and he would bet money you were beyond grateful he couldn't see your expression as you hid your face in your pillow. 

“You knew?! Why didn’t you say anything then!?”

“As payback. For lying, both to Grog and most especially, to me. Next time, tell the truth and I won’t have to be so…”

He spidered fingertips over your shoulders to hear you laugh before pulling back again. 

“Willfully ignorant.”

You groaned. 

“You’re the worst.”

“I hope you know I’ve just started. All joking aside, your shoulder and neck are wrecked, love. Ticklish or not, you’ll feel leagues better if I work these out.”

“You can’t!”

Your instant response gave him pause. 

“What are you so worried about? Surely you must know I’d never judge you for something as paltry as being ticklish.”

“It’s…not that. Gods, Vax, I swear if you tell anyone else-”

You whirled to look at him and he met your eyes unflinchingly. 

“I won’t. I swear it.”

You hesitated and then hid your face again after deeming him to be telling the truth.

“I…I don’t entirely hate it. Truth be told, it’s the opposite. I really…enjoy it.” 

He couldn’t help snickering, but he was quick to clarify at how silent you got, to reassure you. 

“I-hehe. Oh, shit. I’m not laughing at you. I promise. Just, oh Lord, give me a second.”

He finally collected himself, running a hand through his hair and sighed.

“You’re not the first person to tell me that. It’s too cute for me not to laugh. If you ever want to be tickled you know all you have to do is ask.”

“You say that like it’s easy but-”

“But you’d prefer to be a brat to get me to tickle you instead because it’s easier, hm? In character for you. I’m fine with that. For now.”

“For now?”

“Yes. For now. If you keep hiding things from us for what you believe is our benefit, and putting yourself down- now I have the perfect way to punish you. Maybe then the lesson will stick that you are anything but less than.”

“Vax…”

He brushed off the vulnerability with ease, returning to his playful affect, as if he hadn't said anything.  

“As I said for tonight, however, I’m more than happy to put you in your place when you act up but…”

You squeaked as he dragged his index finger down your spine, making you shiver. 

“There’s still the matter of all this tension you’re holding. Do I have your permission to deal with it, even if it tickles?”

“Mm…mmhmm.”

“Heh. Good. I’m not going to go easy on you now that I know you like this, I hope you know.”

He leaned down to blow air into your ear before whispering. 

“We’ve got quite a lot of lost time to make up for~”

[mswyrr]

wheel of time 1x06: romance and narrative economy

I think this episode is a great example of how to convey a complex and powerful romance in a limited amount of time. True, the episode is just over an hour long, but not even all that time is focused on the romance and yet it hits beautifully.

Their first move is that, since the audience has been introduced to Moiraine, one half of this grand love affair, the story begins with Siuan's origin story - we begin with the home where she grew up, we begin by learning the innermost rooms of her heart.

We see the last time she ever felt wholly safe and loved and free to be herself:

The day we see with her father is also the day Siuan begins to come of age, leaving this place of innocence and total safety - because of how magic is handled in this society, there are limited spaces for her to embrace her power, have the opportunity to learn, and be accepted as a grown woman.

Notable that, in her parting, her father uses these words to connect them, to create a bridge between this home and the life she will build:

Look at me. You're gonna do great things. And if any of them bastards tries to shame you, you show them who you are. Siuan Sanche. Daughter of the river. Clever as a pike. Strong as the tides.

Her father is giving a vision of herself--and the knowledge that he loves her deeply--to her that she can hold close for the rest of her life.

Then we see Moiraine and Siuan as mature women in the Aes Sedai order that has formed their adult selves. We witness the power and burden Siuan carries as the Amyrlin Seat, the masks these lovers must wear to pursue the larger goals they share - but that very sharing separates them. It requires them in different places; it requires that they conceal who they are to each other as well as their true inner selves.

It's after this display of politics and power that we learn that, despite all of this, Siuan and Moiraine trust their inner selves to each other.

Before meeting her lover, Moiraine strips herself down to her own girlish state - no formal, restrictive outfits, no ornate hair, no carefully chosen jewels. Just her.

It's in this exposed state that she approaches the magical portal

And everything comes together! Moiraine walks into Siuan's innermost heart, her childhood home. This is the secret place they share, the place they built together (presumably?) with their magic and where they love each other. Siuan can still be safe and free with someone - she has a family still, and it is Moiraine.

In this place of safety there are echoes of their lives outside, however:

Moiraine: Am I forgiven, Mother?

Siuan: I hate it when you call me that. So much for the Amyrlin Seat remaining neutral, without favorites…. No life. No love of one's own. Nothing but the Seat.

Moiraine: When have we ever followed the rules?

And, of course, there's the deliciousness of Moiraine's "on your knees" and how it interplays with Siuan's earlier command, as the Amyrlin Seat, for Moiraine to kneel before her. In the Tower, one must obey the Seat or face punishment; in love, one obeys because one wishes to, an even stronger compulsion than threats of violence one might argue lol

This play of identities and truths--innermost heart and their political identities, their status and power--culminates in Moiraine turning her political punishment, framed as a command to swear and oath of obedience to the Amyrlin Seat into a personal oath--a wedding vow, if you will--to Siuan herself.

Siuan: You are exiled from this Tower. To ensure your acceptance of this penance, you will swear fealty to the judgment of this Seat on the sacred Oath Rod. Swear your oath, Moiraine Sedai… before your sisters, in this… sacred Hall. The One Power renders it unbreakable and eternally binding. By the Light and my hope of salvation and rebirth… I, Moiraine Sedai, swear to obey the judgment of the Amyrlin Seat and never return till she calls me home, or may the Creator's face turn from me and darkness consume my soul.

Moiraine: By the Light and the hope of my salvation… and rebirth… I, Moiraine Sedai, do swear to honor and obey Siuan Sanche… Daughter of the River… clever as a pike… strong as the tides… and never return until she calls me home. Or may my Creator's face turn from me… and darkness consume my soul.

Moiraine is the only one giving these "wedding vows" and yet we know Siuan commits to her just as much - because Siuan shared her father's parting words--the ones she has kept close to her heart, the core inner self she has protected with those words--with Moiraine alone. By sharing those words Siuan committed to Moraine and now Moiraine is using them to commit herself to Siuan.

Moiraine touches Siuan's true, innermost heart even in this moment of her exile and them being parted by fate for a long period of time. In this moment of farewell she reflects back to Siuan the little girl she was, the woman she has grown into with that love at her heart, the love she shares with Moiraine. She reflects back their shared purpose and love for each other, even though Siuan has to be the one to command this exile.

And once again, tears mark the separation from home/heart and the blessing of giving someone a vision of themselves they can carry with them while you are parted.

It's really gorgeous work all around - but it starts with the writing, which is a master class in depicting a complex romance in a limited period of time.