#clerkenwell robbery

[seedsofwinter]

So here's the part that's very important: the Clerkenwell Diamond Robbery verifiably happened 20 February, 1810.

Now usually people like to watch a certain classic mob film on this date every year, but I think we could all take a moment out of that day to discuss Jane 'The Brains' Austen and the particulars of this heist, which the literary and civil world would like us all very much to forget.

Hi Neil. I’ve let a lot of my questions go unanswered or stuck to my own speculation because I know you’ve got quite a full inbox, but there’s one scene that I can’t seem to make any sense of even after doing outside research. When Crowley and Aziraphale go to the pub in S2E2 and Aziraphale asks Crowley if he knows who Jane Austen is, Crowley says that he’d never forget her because she was the “mastermind” behind the 1810 Clerkenwell Diamond Robbery. When I first watched the episode, that reference did seem familiar to me but I couldn’t place my finger on where it was from. So I did some research on this supposed heist and all that comes up is text posts of people on Tumblr quoting that conversation from the show, or the Clerkenwell Crime Syndicate in the 1980s-‘90s. The Clerkenwell Diamond Robbery isn’t a real thing that happened, is it? What is Crowley alluding to with that? Or who is he getting Jane Austen mixed up with?

I'm surprised that enterprising people haven't created an entire website by now telling in detail the story of the 1810 Clerkenwell Diamond Robbery. Perhaps it was hushed up.

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

Aziraphale: You remember Jane Austen?

Crowley: Yeah. I'm not gonna forget her in a hurry, am I? The brains behind the 1810 Clerkenwell Diamond Robbery. Brandy smuggler. Master spy. What a piece of work.

Aziraphale: She wrote books.Novels.

Crowley: Jane? Austen?

Aziraphale: Yes!

Crowley: Whoa, bit of a dark horse. Novels, eh?

Aziraphale: Yes. They were very good.

Crowley: Well. No, I'm just surprised, that's all. You think you know someone.

later in Aziraphale's bookshop Crowley sees Jane Austen's books on a shelf and picks the Pride and Prejudice:

Crowley: Jane Austen. Wrote books too. You people, I will never get the hang of you lot.

Bonus:

[omens-for-ophelia]

"If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more."

-Jane Austen, Emma

hello tumblr! posting art here for the first time since i was a wee bairn, so enjoy some regency ineffable idiots!

inspired by @gingerhaole 's unbelievably perfect aziracrow fanart (& also colin firth's mr. darcy because duh)

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

i might have found the most dedicated (brainrotted) good omens fan.

Hey y'all my beloved maggots, so in the spirit of having too much time and still recovering from my illness, your beloved Mascot was lurking on the lovely world wide web. I ended up, as one does, looking up what the fictitious '1810 clerkenwell diamond robbery' might have alluded to.

Of course I ended up with a bunch of tumblr and/or good omens results and then one bloody other search result. Which is what I'm sitting in utter bewilderment thinking about.

I'll link it at the end of the post, but to brief you on it, it was an article with an impressively detailed description of the supposed 1810 robbery, with the mastermind being (rather than Jane Austen, which is what I'd have expected the fake story to have) Richard Turpin. I didn't know who the fuck this was, so I looked him up, and found he was a highwayman who was executed in 1739 (there was a wee bit of bodysnatchin' involved, too). One of the diamonds in this article/story was also called the Star of South Africa, which when I looked it up, apparently is a diamond that was not discovered till the second half of the 19th century.

Which is all good lovely article impressive gonchposting but then I glance through the rest of the website and it seems to have actual articles about crime? I know nothing about stuff that happened after the Roman empire, so you are free to tell me about the legitimacy of the articles, but the fact remains that there are many articles, dating from July 2023 to February 2024.

I hear Good Omens season 2 came out on 28th July 2023, so this person set up an entire site in a few days, wrote an article with an anachronistic highwayman and diamond, and then proceeded to actually fill the rest of the site with articles? Am I in the correct timeline here? Has the internet lost its hivemind?

Please can someone explain this to me? Is this the final stage of the brainrot? Is this what I'm doomed to experience? Because if so I'm suing the entire Good Omens fandom, yes, you all, for infecting me with it.

Or have I lost it and I hallucinated this entire internet experience?

[theravenmuse]

1810, England

Aziraphale: There’s a new play out tonight and I was wondering if you were up to accompanying me? Dinner first, of course.

Crowley: Tonight? I can’t. I’ve got a work thing. Could do lunch tomorrow?

Aziraphale: Tomorrow? I’m afraid I have a date with an up and coming author who needs help with her manuscript.

[laiqualaurelote]

no pressure at all but just so you know I personally would be so excited if you wanted to write a regency heist fic 🤍

well-versed in etiquette, extraordinarily nice

Once she had said to him, hoping to probe: “It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.”  To which Mr Crowley had only responded: “What do you know of the universe, Miss Austen?”  Now, as they waited for the jeweller in Hatton Diamonds to return, Jane said: “I have no intention of entering a state of wedlock, Mr Crowley, any more than you do. There are less capricious ways of securing one’s fortune.” Mr Crowley flashed her a toothsome grin. In moments like this, Jane thought he very much resembled a serpent. 

In which Jane Austen, criminal mastermind and aspiring novelist, pulls off the 1810 Clerkenwell Diamond Robbery, with the help of a certain demon.

[elinordash]

anyway no misunderstanding was ever resolved during a ball in Jane Austen's novels; if anything a few were created. the romantic proposal always comes when the characters are finally free to talk about their feelings.

so aziraphale should really have known better

[havemyheartaziraphale]

The Diamond Robbery

This was originally a reply here but I thought I'd make it it's own post so I can come back to edit it as and when I need to

I've gone through the whole post..

Dick Turpin (wasn't even alive at the time, also the name of Newt's car)

The Star of South Africa wasn't until 1869 and the weights are all wrong as well...

Wertheimer and Fray never existed (that I can find...)

And the first post was in July 2023 as well... so same month as releaese of GO2

And then there's a post on the blog all about Smooth Criminal by Michael Jackson. the blog is wild

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

I went back and clicked on the Smooth Criminal post, because I wanted to go back over what was written and… none of it makes any sense ><

Notably:

Was actually released 1988, NOT 1987 THis?? Beyond its artistic influence, Smooth Criminal also imparts valuable lessons that resonate with audiences worldwide. This song communicates a powerful message about resilience and the ability to overcome adversity. Its lyrics highlight the importance of justice and the triumph of good over evil, inspiring listeners to stand up for what is right. Additionally, Smooth Criminal serves as a reminder of the significance of mastering one’s craft. The precision and mastery displayed in Michael Jackson’s performance emphasize the dedication and hard work required to excel in any field. This song encourages individuals to pursue their passions relentlessly and to continually strive for excellence. I'm sorry, but are we talking about the same song?? The one that says the same things over and over? The one that mentions signs in windows of being attacked and running into a bedroom to hide?

hmmm… "Surrender the Angle" and Jim going into the bedroom when told to? (Also, "You were struck down/ It was your doom Annie")

THIS paragraph a well?? Smooth Criminal is renowned for its ability to stay one step ahead of the authorities, leaving no trace behind. To achieve this, the song’s protagonist employs a variety of tactics. Changing identities frequently – adopting new names and disguises to elude capture Moving swiftly from one location to another, never staying in one place for too long Operating in the shadows, carefully avoiding any unnecessary attention By constantly adapting and maintaining a low profile, the smooth criminal can continue their illicit activities undetected. Shax changes identity several times… As does Muriel (although granted she only has the Police costume, but she was also there when Azi was asking questions in Heaven about Job)

Please… read the whole blog post. Because why write something about a song?

hm…. what was it Beelzebub said to Gabriel? (S2 ep 6, 23:58)

Lord Beelzebub: I like it. Contains information in a tuneful way Like I know there's probably nothing there but it's so funny to me that there's a "serious" blog post about the song that doesn't even analyse the song at all correctly

[unicornbeck]

1810

Richard Turpin was the mastermind behind the 1810 Clerkenwell Diamond Robbery. Richard Turpin, the namesake of Newton Pulsifer's car.

According to Crowley, Jane Austen was a central figure in the planning of the heist.

Prediction: Dick Turpin will be referenced again in Season 3. He's been in 2 seasons now. 1810 may make an appearance in the flashbacks. Wouldn't that be something?

EDIT: See the notes, apparently they’re DIFFERENT CRIMINAL TURPINS

[kneedecker]

Neil Gaiman’s Jane Austen spinoff series when?

[aziracrow4ever]

Look what I found! Relating to Dick Turpin AND Jane Austin.

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

[doomedlemur]

I have to recommend this fanfic by @laiqualaurelote !

It's a really excellent set of snippets in Jane Austen's POV, filling in the background of her acquaintances with Crowley and Aziraphale perfectly.

It is very well researched with wonderful prose.

Including this gem:

[rekishi-aka]

So...have we talked about how Aziraphale goes from saying, in S2E2, "You remember Jane Austen? [...] She wrote books. Novels!"

To telling Nina and Maggie in S2E6 Jane was the "Oh, yes, the brains behind the 1810 Clerkenwell diamond robbery.", thereby completely adopting Crowley's initial reaction?

Something something how attuned they are to each other and....yeah.

It also begs the question, did Jane write novels about spy stuff and capers under a pseud that Aziraphale knows about but we don't?

[lit-in-thy-heart]

having watched good omens 2, i am definitely thinking about some crossover involving jane austen and the 1810 clerkenwell diamond robbery, crowley, clara oswald and possibly the doctor thrown in

[izacore]

You remember Jane Austen? Yeah. I'm not gonna forget her in a hurry, am I? The brains behind the 1810 Clerkenwell Diamond Robbery. Brandy smuggler. Master spy. What a piece of work. She wrote books. Novels. Jane? Austen? Yes! Whoa, bit of a dark horse. Novels, eh? Yes. They were very good. Good Omens (2019-) || Pride and Prejudice (2005)