#clearly i am having a great time
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oh boy!!! a second part of the map in totk!!!! and it only took me **checks watch i do not have** 5 hours
#tears of the kingdom#zelda tears of the kingdom#zelda totk#clearly i am having a great time#garfield are you /j or /srs
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Assisting Acquaintance Acquired.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wen ning#wei wuxian#Ignore how Wen Ning's hair looks here because I messed it up. Let's pretend he just sported a different hair style for a brief moment.#I am not exactly great at consistency but I am trying very hard to work on that (immediately messes up again).#Absolutely *love* how Wen Ning clearly remembers and admires WWX...who does *not* recognize him.#This is the best day for Wen Ning and it means *nothing* to WWX. A painful one-sided crush made worse.#It is bittersweet to realize that we care about someone more than they care about us. Sometime we pour love into a relationship-#-with someone who just can't reciprocate. It isn't always a conscious things either. Some people just aren't aware we care.#And painfully - so painfully - You can't make them aware. No act of kindness or gift or self sacrifice will make someone care about you.#You can martyr yourself for someone and they will continue on unchanged.#I think a lot about the parallels between WN and LWJ. Not foils - just reflections. A theme repeated.#People who give so much of themselves to someone who doesn't have the capacity to give any part of themself away.#I will die on the hill of 'Wen Ning would be the love triangle romance if that trope wasn't being avoided'.#And to be honest - thank the stars above that is the case. I do not know any good love triangles in media.#We are skipping some of the sad Jiang Cheng content because I really want to finish season 2 before May.#Sorry JC emo moment lovers...I'll deliver another time.
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Doctor Who "Rogue" memes
I've made memes. enjoy.
(contains slight spoilers)
firstly, ones that are more encompassing:
regarding the episode itself:
and finally, Captain Jack Harkness stages of grief:
#doctor who#memes#the “salute the sky” one is my favorite#he really did just put his ship in orbit and went oh well the bitch is gone#poor fifteen may be apparently more healed but he has no idea how to deal with emotions other than cry and then ignore them#but we love him he's trying#also I thought those psychic earrings were soooo stupid but at the same time I loved them#like that was a classic “a bit silly but it works” doctor who thing#also this is the second time I've seen male presenting gays ballroom dancing and I am thriving#the other of course being aziracrow#I wanted to make a meme for that too but wasn't sure which to use#my memes#original post#rogue#doctor who rogue#rogue doctor who#the doctor#ruby sunday#the doctor x rogue#p.s. to clarify ik they're not actually erasing Jack Harkness it's just they're very clearly ignoring him completely and Rogue seems#somewhat like a replacement although he does have differences and I love him very dearly#also I put gay in quotes because the doctor is genderfluid/nonbinary and is simply at the moment male presenting and it didn't feel right#to somewhat diminish their identity by simplifying it - like how aziracrow are called gay and that's great but they're more complicated#than just that label#yasmin khan#yaz khan#fifteenth doctor#thirteenth doctor#fourteenth doctor
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lol I mean, first of all I take anything some random person says abt the pre-covid finale with a grain of salt. Second of all, any heaven endgame is still shitty imo, it's sending the message that queer characters can only be happy in death which uhhh sucks. Third of all, any resolution where dean “suddenly” realizes his sexuality just does not jive with me bc that man has been flirting and sleeping with dudes and comfortably bisexual for decades. But anyways.
#sorry but every time ppl celebrate the alleged ~heaven reunion~ I am just like. thanks I don’t want this#like i think it's Important that the writers clearly wanted to do more with destiel but i still think the idea of them only being able#to be together in death is not great#I’d rather have what we have tbh bc it opens the door up for way more potential and a better reunion#like there's a reason they didn't have cas appear in the winchesters either! they want to do the destiel reunion right#and give it its own space. and imo they are also waiting to do it on another network / without the CW's censorship and interference#vic.txt
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day 1181
#amphibian#axolotl#salamander#amphibiuary2023#described in alt text#heeheehoo wizord time#seeing everyone elses drawings has been so inspiring honestly i am having so much fun drawing#no idea what the status of my queue is now i had to change it so i could reblog everyones art#if this posts the wrong day o well#this is inspired by a game i wanted to make many many years ago#youd play as a witch exploring a dark cave in search of potion ingredients#i designed the character and prototyped the basic mechanics and then stopped having time to work on it :(#honestly i wanna return to it i just have a hundred other projects i wanna work on#heh maybe i still have the unity project it wouldd eb fun to look#or maybe it was lost in the great harddrive crash of 2021 </3#big nostalgia moment this wizard clearly cast some kind of memory spell on me
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Not at all surprised that Netflix/shondaland/etc forgot that the show called BRIDGERTON should be about the main character that season who is a Bridgerton and not their love interest. But who could expect that they would actually focus on that when they hate their Bridgerton this season (seriously, is Colin even a person outside of his and Penelope’s relationship? It sure fucking doesn’t seem like it.) and the female love interest is their little darling.
Disappointed but not surprised.
#polin#bridgerton#this is no hate or shade to Nicola at all#she’s wonderful and does a great job with the role#I just hate how much the showrunners clearly don’t think anything of Colin#he’s a sexy cardboard cutout#I’m on my knees begging for Colin to be ANYTHING outside of Penelope#BEGGING#those new pictures of pen and d*bling#I am so annoyed#get him away from her#is COLIN going to have any solo promo??? at all????#at this rate debling is gonna have more screen time than Colin does
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I am once again begging people to stop trying to make my post about grieving for someone who's become a vampire into a metaphor about being insensitive or bigoted towards real-life queer people. I absolutely understand the impulse to read it as metaphorical! I also find sympathy in fictional monstrosity! However! Queer people, as a group, do not generally kill and eat humans.
Thank you for your time.
#also. vampires are pretend and made-up and do not exist. except in the animal kingdom.#and saying 'you can't think about pretend made-up things in this way because it MUST be a metaphor for your real-life feelings>#<about THIS specific real-life thing!' is uh. you guys know why that's not a great mindset to have right#thoughtcrime isn't real yall#also to everyone who's smugly like 'well op clearly you've never loved someone who had dementia'#a) how the fuck would you know that you smug fucking self-righteous cunt. why the fuck would you think that's okay to say to someone#b) Selfish! This Man Found Time To Build A Birdhouse While Jon-Benet Ramsey Is Still Missing#i am. so tired.#anyway this is your periodic reminder that OP of that viral post has to see all of your replies reblogs and tags#and that OP of that viral post is a human fucking being
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why did i have to be born with huge tits and curves... i'm butch but i feel like a joke when i see my silhouette
#maybe if i just lose more weight i'll look masc but i know it's my frame itself that's feminine#being visibly dykeish is great with this haircut but i feel like i look silly overall. idk#maybe i'll go back to my wolfcut#but ugh when i had long hair i would get fetishized by every man of color in my vicinity#oh you're so Exotic. LIKE I'M A ZOO ANIMAL#beautiful mix LIKE I'M A DOG!!!#I am a dog but only for handsome women#anyway yeah it's weird as fuck being mixed and having moc so clearly fetishize you#at least white dudes are so lame that the few times they've hit on me it's been really tame and boring#and it rarely ever happens because white guys prefer white women#tangent but i always thought it was interesting how nearly every het couple i have ever seen is two of the same race#while plenty of lesbian couples are mixed
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finished watching netflix atla! i think the hate is unjustified lol like all that hate seems a little too intense for what i think the show missed. it didn't hit all the same notes as the original show, yeah, so i'm not sure it quite succeeds as an adaptation, but as a standalone show it's pretty good. and i might have some gripes with the characterization, but there was love in the casting and in the costumes and the world, and that goes a long way for me.
#even tho the costumes DID look reallt new lol#rei rambles#natla#as a show i'd give it like a 7.5 or 8 out of 10#as an adaptation... 5? 6?#the pacing was kinda weird and katara could be meaner but she wasnt terrible#sokka having a confirmed Thing with suki undermines the way his *first* girlfriend became the moon but that's also whatever#i actually LOVED the way they gave more to iroh and zuko about lu ten#and i heard ppl were mad abt azula which is like... why? she barely appears????#as for ozai being more emotional--i GET the gripe i do. really. i just. i am not immune to daniel dae kim okay.#been weak for him since i saw him in hawaii five-o and lost okay#first big asian man crush. only handsome asian man on north american tv for a very long time.#im okay with them humanizing ozai if it means more daniel dae kim ngl#narratively sure yeah it sjpports the zuko's and azula's characters better if he unequivocally sucks#but if they're gonna give him more acting meat i'm not gonna mind in the SLIGHTEST#but anyways yeah they v clearly spotlighted iroh & zuko over some team avatar stuff and i'd be more about it if it wasnt done well#but i actually liked it so i dont mind at all#zuko and iroh were super great
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rewatched the premier definitely super legally and just look at them
#these tags get. very rambly. so expand at ur own risk i'm just kinda yelling here#bob's burgers#ur insane if u think i'm tagging every character#i HAVE to draw gene in this outfit proper u don't get it i just love when they let him go full music man#this premier made me clinically insane i don't think u understand they're consuming my thoughts like brain eating amoeba#catastrophic autism levels rn#god rest the poor souls at uni that'll ask how my weekend was#genuinely surprised they managed to get jjr. zeke. rudy. marshmallow. AND fischoeder in the premier#like they got ALL our fav little guys in here huh#no courtney or alex tho i'm fine. no it's fine that's fine#love how gene just started lying down at some point#lil bro did NOT care abt the chores he was invested in the narrative#there were some rly great bits in this ep too#gene just being dramatic. 'hey guys look at pepperoni the pony'. every time fischoeder was on screen#v strong premier i am clearly very normal abt it#ngl i just made this post to archive all these screenshots for myself bc i love the costumes here
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post ankle-twisting clarity
#i slipped in the mudddddd the other day LOL i twisted my one ankle and scraped up my other knee#so the past few days ive just been kind of needing to waddle around.....#LUCKILY its healing well and fast <3 but yknow i was like#so stressed out over shit that doesnt matter in school. and like this is an awful unintentional habit i have but i will get like#overly stressed over shit and then i'll start getting SUPER careless with everything. and then i'll injure myself foolishly and Calm Down#happened last year with my foolish midnight woodcarving incident LOL its always november....#BUT yeah luckily this years foolish injury is a quick one at least!!#but yeah like genuinely i was so stressed out about all my fine arts major shit. teachers have been really getting on my case recently#my main professor said that it was a good thing people get so riled up with my work because it means its impactful#tbh i didnt believe her at all i thought she was just trying to placate me but then i listened closely to the things faculty say when#they look at my fucking. cartoon wolf drawing or something and i think. she might be right actually. people keep getting frustrated with me#because i think they see a lot of potential in me but i basically only have to drive to draw cartoon wolves etc HFKJSDHJVKRFEds#which is great for my ego. maybe too good for my ego. that my mark making and colour use etc is so evocative to these industry and#instutition people. but on the other hand i was told like thrice now that my work has no place in a gallery. which is fine although im not#totally sure how true that is. but also afterwards one time i was suggested to go into animation instead which is. um.#so its not out of nowhere i mean i did want to be an animator when i was like 10 but if you know anything about the current state of the#animation industry its like genuinely wild to tell someone who you've only seen 2 dimensional watercolour and acrylic painted#sketchy lined drawings from and who has said they cant do digital art anymore that they should get an animation degree?#brother they would kill me. i would be killed. i had an inkling but it really made me notice so clearly how limited the experiences my#faculty kind of have with certain industries. which is fine. or maybe not. for a professor LOL but yknow. but i was like huh. i guess i can#just kind of chill lol if i just keep doing things maybe something will come of it. i may not get as much help in my artistic development#rn as i would like. but its chill i think i'll figure it out if i just keep doing stuff <3#doesnt really matter that my teachers dont know what to do with me. my kneeeee has a booboo so i am CHILLING out :)
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#currently raging rn and its taking everything I have in me to NOT snap at my roommate#basically its been a year of her neglecting her cats#not cleaning literally one single thing in this apartment ever even though she makes the mess 99% of the time#and not being able to admit she has a problem when clearly does have a problem with hoarding stuff anf trash and it makes this#a pretty sucky apartment to live in !#but no this morning i wake up to her being ABSOLUTELY discusted with me because!#last night in the night when i was changing my pad without glasses i got a drop of blood on the floor b/c period#and she literally was like this is gross and how could you expect me to clean that and like going forward please dont do this again???#and i literally just want to be like have you fucking heard of accidents before??#like of course ill clean it up!!#but like do you really think i purposely bleed on the floor and then ignored it????#also the fact that shes done the same thing about 6 times but apparently hasnt noticed before#also shes not okay with that but she is okay with ignoring the litter boxs#having bugs because she cant clean up after herslef#and literally not being able to use certain parts of our apartment because her stuff is piled up so high#theres literally no room!#sorry i am just raging so hard rn#like the anger i feel from within is so great#like literally theres still vomit on the floor from where she threw up and never cleaned it up#its fine im just so fucking MAD
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Happy Baltimore Pride, the parade starts in 3 and a half hours and I'm already exhausted
#am i excited to be in the parade for the first time ever? yes. am i as an audhd disaster already overwhelmed? yuh.#also like. for all the team/the pres and the few sober members are trying to make it safe for us pride just isnt sober/recovery friendly#like on the grand scheme big picture culturally i mean. yes you can easily avoid alcohol during daytime hours at the streetfair etc#but ive only seen one event very clearly advertise no alcohol. the rest is very much the shots shots rail liquor sponsored by x booze etc#and thats not to say it shouldn't be im not trying to ruin the fun for everyone else thats not what this is.#its more an observation of - damn. im four months into recovery with alcohol as an autistic bipolar person. this might suck.#like this might be really hard and not be as fun as I'd hoped and I'm grieving the fact i never got the experience the pride others did#the free unhinged party that my teammates have been constantly talking about in the chat for the last week#they're already cracking open beers im sure and the grilling starts at 11am at our parade spot so that they can start drinking and save $#im used to being on the outside of the glass but its always a smidge uncomfortable. it helps having sober teammates with me#but a part of me worries about this weekend i guess.#just... not feeling great in our body. bones feel wrong. everything feels tired and heavy. poor monster doesn't want to be seen.
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hhhh talking about my writing was fun but 30 tags is not enough.. yes i have 3 major influences but i have minor ones too.. it is a lovechild of my favorite things.. writing is so fun and i have no self control or a concept of pacing myself i will sit there for 16 hours and get hit with every status effect but by god does it all just flow out of me. I've always been a music person yes but i also used to write a lot into early adulthood until The Incident™
but i am ready 2 jump back into it. i think comics are a great middle ground between the two mediums so i don't get As into writing bc i kind of started going crazy last time 🫡 i can take a more structured approach to it that forces me to pace myself and think about it differently. i love art.... i love making things i love knowing how to do things i love knowing how to play things i love having so many creative outlets, even if i don't do a lot of them regularly lol. it is enriching 😳 and nice to know that it's always there to come back to when u want.
#if u want the tea my imagination at the time was like i could space out and straight up just be another person POV doing every little#thing as if i were them for hours and the experience would come together without having to even think about it.#different times/places/contexts/conversations etc. forced 2 to to my mom's lil cult meetings for 2 hours twice a week#i would opt to do these imagination exercises instead to rly put myself in a character's perspective. every step‚ stumble‚#riding in a carriage together for the entirety from point A to B etc. WELL i was working on a horror anthology somewhere 18/19#(that had a small local following 🫶🏾) and it its concept was like the Twilight zone but a lot darker. it was called interdimensional#and the main recurring character never actually shows up in the story. they r an omnipresent god of death who exists everywhere but#exists outside of our realm‚ and it picks random people to reveal itself to as a symbol. it can be apparent or just in passing that#the entry's MC sees it in‚ it will appear on something somewhere and once it's brought up it's a cue to the reader that this person#has just been sent to an alternate reality that leads towards their inevitable death. for the character nothing ever changes immediately#but the different starts to creep its way in‚ as does death's approach at its crescendo but the path's i took to get there were 😨#and after enough entries i started to see the symbol irl and hallucinate some other stuff from my stories and it really scared me#and made me stop 🫡 but i think in retrospect i just went too hard on the imagination exercises and wished i tried cultivating it instead#give myself time to settle and get in control.. but alas‚ she has not written seriously since. to this day it still flows out of me if#i just sit down to do it‚ but i don't think I'm at risk of something like that happening again anymore :3 so yeah ♡ i am learning how to#draw and trying not 2 force it bc i want it to b fun as a little journey for me and i look forward to the day i can come back to actively#writing again too 🫶🏾 i miss it but i also want to b able to draw ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა#learn the hard thing first then do the stuff that comes naturally.... i also want to get back into music sometime but clearly i got a lot of#other stuff to work on 💀 i burnt myself out on it learning too many things and not having enough fun with it anymore‚#but i have a better healthier with art these days and i know it'll be great to come back to when I'm ready 😌💕#i have been considering getting an acoustic or bass guitar tho 🧐 the beauty of physical instruments.. they're just there ready 2 go..#I've been doing mostly digital the past few years‚ when i was making music. it was also rly hard to when i was w my ex ૮ – ﻌ–ა#that's a whole other rant lol. but ugh digital is like u gotta set it up u gotta make space and then u gotta be in one spot the whole time#i just wanna lay in bed and vibe or something yfm.. walk around maybe idk. do something less structured.#maybe.. hm. hmmm 🧐#I'm going to guitar center lol c ya ✌🏾 getting a bass and amp and maybe a guitar too depending on the price
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i will never forget the time I was hanging out with two other people who were new friends and they were like "let's do a sonic fandub" and one of them started looking up sonic game footage on youtube for us to dub while we discussed who would speak for who and we decided I'd voice tails. But also I knew nothing about sonic at the time, i'd only seen the snapcube fandubs because I'd heard they were good and funny, I didn't know the plot or characters very well. I couldn't remember what they sounded like so while the other two started to say silly things in sonic and amy's voices I asked "what does tails sound like again?" And I was laughing because I was embarrassed and also shocked by how quickly they had started commiting to the bit of trying to do some voice acting and my friend just said "he sounds like a twink" and I could not stop laughing and I could not take the idea seriously and I just told them that I couldn't do the voice oops. And so we moved onto a different topic pretty quickly and just enjoyed the pizza we had while we waited for our other three friends to get back from the store
anyways all of this is to say that Tails is NOT a twink, he is an 8 year old little boy and my friend was misguided.
#Can you tell that I'm mentally unwell and also that I had a falling out with these friends and also that I miss them dearly#I actually went to see the sonic 3 movie today on christmas day and I saw a group of people that I know- one guy in the group was one of#The three that was at the store while we were doing the dub. I had a falling out with all five of those friends after that.#That day was really great. It was like a year ago now. I feel like that was the first time where I was really vulnerable with friends#And I had never been so honest about my interests and thoughts before with a group of people and it. It was nice. But after that day it...#I think it was all my fault. Or at least mostly my fault. I was honest with them but no one else#So I couldn't accept the truth of myself and I wasn't ready for everyone i know to know me that way so I tried to hide it and ignore it#And in doing so I stopped being honest with them and I started avoiding them. And I regret it. I could have just been a weirdo with them#I could have spent every tuesday afternoon hanging out and talking about life with them over pizza. But instead I ran away.#And of course they kept asking about me and wondering why I was being weird but I couldn't face it. And I kept running away#And they kept trying to chase after me. I even left for like two months and completely went no contact and no explanation#But then I came back because I had nowhere else to go and it... it was so awkward. It was too much. And now I'm overthinking#everything. I was so jealous of them. All of them. And when I got to be friend with them it was too much for me. My brain couldn't accept i#I'm not allowed to be happy unless it's in secret. That's what my brain thinks#That's the mantra I've been living by recently. For like the past 3-5 years. That's just how I was raised I suppose#Um. Oops I ranted too much in the tags. Sorry if you read all of this. But also thank you if you did. I hope you're well#Rant in tags#rant#personal#Why is this literally just my journal. Goodness gracious#I'm so sorry. Everything I post here is like completely dumb and irrelevant and stupid and pointless and matters very little.#I am just mentally unwell and I can barely think clearly. I am sorry. I hope you look elsewhere for actually important or meaningful words#Dang I just had a dramatic soundtrack melody start playing in my head but I have no idea where this song is from or what it's called. Damn
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trying to find avpd posts on this site is a nightmare bc it's such a rarely discussed disorder yet personality disorders arent (that) rarely discussed so searching for avpd stuff leads me to find 75 percent generic pd/stigmatized mental illness "u r loved🥺💗" positivity posts that slapped avpd in as a last thought bc it's a pd My sister in christ I am trying to find posts from people going through what I go through plsss stop it's starting to feel shallow
#tqxicfqcility#text post#did i have a text post tag i forgot#but like plssss !! i want to find posts about my experience to feel seen. i dont want a random post that says i am seen i want to feel seen+#through reading the experiences of others that ive also gone through#IF I SEE THAT GOD DAMN BUGGS BUNNY IN A SUIT MEME ONE MORE TIME. god damn#like positivity posts are great!!! theyre lovely!! but when its drowning out everything else they start feeling SO SHALLOW#especially when its clearly intended for a certain disorder or cluster of pds like#i get the point but please dont tag it if its not super relevant#sighhhh i jusy wish more ppl talked abt avpd. whateevr#avpd#avoidant personality disorder
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