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snarktheater · 4 years ago

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Hey, d'you have any French book recs? I'm trying to work on my French, and rn I have downloaded one of my favourite book series' French translations, but I figured maybe books already written in French might work better? Also have you read the Ranger's Apprentice series? 1/2

RA's def flawed - the books' narration does like to point bright arrows at the protagonists' intelligence, and the last few books def have the tone of 'old white man trying to write feminism', although at least he's trying? - and it's aimed more to the younger side of YA, but it is still a very fun series, and I can ignore the flaws fairly easily, at least partly due to nostalgia? This rather long lol but I'm wordy.

I'll start with the second question: no, although every time the series is brought up I have to check the French title and go "oh, right, I've seen these books in stores". But I've never purchased or read them. It sounds like something I probably would have enjoyed as a teen but I just missed the mark, and these days I'm trying to drown myself in queer books, so that probably isn't happening.

As for your first question, geez, I haven’t read a French book in years, so this is gonna skew middle grade/YA, though that may not be so bad if the point is to learn the language. I will also say that as a result, these may read a little outdated.

I'll put it under a cut, even if Tumblr has become really bad with correctly displaying read mores. Sorry, mobile crowd.

It's also likely that old readers of the blog will have seen me talk about most of these. I don't feel like going through old posts.

One last thing: while I was curating this list I took the time to make a Goodreads shelf to keep track of those.

The Ewilan books by Pierre Bottero

(It's a testament to how long ago I read these books that these are not the covers of the edition I own, and I can't even find those on Google. I'm settling for a more recent cover anyway since it'll make it easier to find them, presumably)

There are at least three trilogies (that I know of) set in the same world.

The first trilogy is essentially an isekai (so, French girl lands in parallel fantasy world by accident) with elements of chosen one trope, though I find the execution makes it worth the while anyway.

The second trilogy is a direct sequel, so same protagonist but new threat, and the world gets expanded.

The third one is centered around a supporting characters from the previous books, and the first couple of books in it are more her backstory than a continuation, though the third one concludes both that trilogy and advances the story of the other books as well.

Notably these books have a really fun magic system where the characters "draw" things into existence. It's just stuck with me for some reason.

A bunch of stuff by Erik L'Homme

I have read a lot of this man's books, starting with Le Livre des Etoiles.

They also skew towards the young end of YA, arguably middle grade, I never bothered to figure out where to draw the line. They're coincidentally also using the premise of a parallel world to our own (and yes, connected to France again, the French are just as susceptible of writing about their homeland), but interestingly are set from the point of view of characters native to the parallel world.

It also has a very unique magic system, this one based on a mix of a runic alphabet and sort-of poetry. I'll also say specifically for these books that the characters stuck with me way more than others on this list, which is worth mentioning.

This trilogy is my favorite by Erik L'Homme, but I'll also mention Les Maîtres des brisants, which is a fantasy space opera with a pirate steampunk(?) vibe. I think it's steampunk. I could be mistaken. But it's in that vein. It's also middle grade, in my opinion not as good, but it could just be that it came out when I was older.

Another one is Phaenomen, which was a deliberate attempt at skewing older (though still YA). This one is set in our (then-)modern world and centers a group of teens who happen to have supernatural powers. I guess the best way to describe it is a superhero thriller? If you take "superhero" in the sense of "people with individualized powers", since they don't really do a lot of heroing.

...I really need to brush up on genre terminology, don't I.

The Ji series by Pierre Grimbert

This one is actually adult fantasy, though it definitely falls under "probably outdated". It is very straight, for starters, and I'd have to give it another read to give a more critical reading of how it handles race (it attempts to do it, and is well meaning, but I'm not sure it survives the test of time & scrutiny, basically).

If I haven't lost you already, the premise is this: a few generations ago, a weird man named Nol gathered emissaries from each nation of the world and took them to a trip to the titular Ji island. Nobody knows what went down here, but now in the present day, someone is trying to kill off all descendants from those emissaries, who are as a result forced to team up and figure out what's going on.

I'm not going to spoil past that, though I will say it has (surprise) a really unique magic system! I guess you can start to piece together what my younger self was interested in. Which, admittedly, I still am.

Once again, this one also has a strong cast of characters, helped by rich world building and the premise forcing the characters to come from many different cultures (though, again, I can't vouch for the handling of race because it's been too long).

The first series is complete by itself, though it has two sequel series as well, each focusing on the next generation in these families. Because yes, of course they all pair up and have kids. Like I said: very straight.

A whole lot of books by Jean-Louis Fetjaine

OFetjaine is a historian, and I guess he's really interested in Arthurian mythos especially, because he loves it so much he's written two separate high fantasy retellings of them! I'm not criticizing, mind you, we all need a hobby.

The former, the Elves trilogy (pictures above) is very traditional high fantasy. Elves, dwarves, orcs, a world which is definitely fictionalized with a pan-Celtic vibe to it. The holy grail and excalibur are around, but they're relics possessed by the elves and dwarves with very different powers than usual. Et cetera.

Fetjaine also really loves his elves (as the titles might imply), and while they're not exactly Tolkien elves, there's a similar vibe to them. If you like Tolkien and his elf boner, you'll probably like this too. And conversely, if that turns you off, these books probably also won't work for you.

This series also has a prequel trilogy, centered around the backstory of one of the main characters. I...honestly don't remember too much about it, but I liked it, so, there you go, I guess.

I said Fetjaine did it twice. The other series is the Merlin duology, which, as the title implies, is a retelling of Merlin's story. Note that Merlin is also in the other trilogy, but it's a different Merlin; like I said, completely different continuities and stories.

This one is historical fantasy, so it's set in actual Great Britain, and Fetjaine attempts to connect Arthur to a "real" historical figure...but, you know, Merlin is also half-elf and elves totally exist in Brocéliande, so, you know. History.

Okay, that's probably enough fantasy, let me give some classics too.

L'Arbre des possibles et autres histoires - Bernard Werber

Bernard Werber is a pretty seminal author of French sci-fi and I should probably be embarrassed that the only book of his that I read was for school, but, it is a really good one, so I'll include it anyway.

It's a novella collection, and when I say "sci-fi" I want to make it clear that it's very old school science fiction. It's more Frankenstein or Black Mirror than Star Trek, what we in French call the anticipation genre of science fiction: you take one piece of technology or cultural norm and project it into the future.

It has a pretty wide range of topics and tones, so it's bound to have some better than others. My personal faves were Du pain et des jeux, where football (non-American) has evolved into basically a wargame, and Tel maître, tel lion, where any animal is considered acceptable as a pet, no matter how absurd it is to keep as a pet. They're both on a comedic end, but there's more heartfelt stuff too.

L'Ecume des Jours - Boris Vian

(no cover because I can't find the one I have, and the ones I find are ugly)

This book is surrealist. Like, literally a part of the surrealist movement. It features things such as a lilypad growing inside a woman's lungs (and, as you well know, lilypads double in size every day, wink wink), the protagonist's apartment becoming larger and smaller to go with his mood and current financial situation, and more that I can't even recall at the moment because remembering this book is like trying to remember having an aneurysm.

It is also really, really fun and touching. Oh, and it has a pretty solid movie adaptation, starring Audrey Tautou, who I think an international audience would probably recognize from Amelie or the Da Vinci Code movie.

I don't really know what else to say. It's a really cool read!

Le Roi se meurt - Eugène Ionesco

Ionesco is somewhat famous worldwide so I wasn't even sure to include him here. He's a playwright who wrote in the "Theater of the Absurd" movement, and this play is part of that.

The premise of this play is that the King (of an unnamed land) is dying, and the land is dying with him. I don't really know what else to say. It's theater of the absurd. It kind of has to be experienced (the published version works fine, btw, no need to track down an actual performance, in my humble opinion).

The Plague - Albert Camus

You've probably heard of this one, and if you haven't, let me tell you about a guy called Carlos Maza

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I'm honestly more including this book out of a sense of duty. The other three are books I genuinely liked and happen to be classics. This book was an awful read. But, um. It's kind of relevant now in a way it wasn't (or didn't feel, anyway) back in 2008 or 2009, when I read it. And I don't just mean because of our own plague, since Camus's plague is pretty famously an allegory for fascism, which my teenage self sneered at, and my adult self really regrets every feeling that way.

Okay, finally, some more lighthearted stuff, we gotta talk about the Belgian and French art of bande dessinée. How is it different from comic books or manga? Functionally, it isn't. It really comes down more to what gets published in the Belgian-French industry compared to the American comics industry, which is dominated by superheroes, or the Japanese manga industry, which, while I'm less familiar with it, I know has some big genre trends as well that are completely separate.

The Lanfeust series - Arleston and Tarquin

This is a YA mega-series, and I can't recommend all of it because I've lost track of the franchise's growth. Also note that I say "YA", but in this case it means something very different from an American understanding of YA. These books are pretty full of sex.

No, when I say YA I mean it has that level of maturity, for better or worse. The original series (Lanfeust de Troy) is high fantasy in a world where everyone has an individual magical ability but two characters find out they're gifted with an absolute power to make anything happen, and while it gets dark at times, it's still very lighthearted throughout, and the humor is...well, I think it's best described as teen boy humor. And it has a tendency to objectify its female characters, as you'll quickly parse out from the one cover I used here or if you browse more covers.

But still, it holds a special place in my heart, I guess. And on my shelves.

The sequel series, Lanfeust des Etoiles, turns it into a space opera, and goes a little overboard with the pop culture reference at times, though overall still maintains that balance of serious/at times dark story and lighthearted comedy.

After that the franchise is utter chaos to me, and I've lost track. I know there was another sequel series, which I dropped partway through, and a spinoff that retold part of the original series from the PoV of the main love interest (in the period of time she spent away from the main group). There was a comedy spin-off about the troll species unique to this world, a prequel series, probably more I don't even know exist.

Les Démons d'Alexia

Something I can probably be a little less ashamed of including here.

Some backstory here. The Editions Dupuis are a giant of the Belgian bande dessinée industry, and for many, many years I was subscribed to their weekly magazine. That magazine was (mostly) made up of excerpts from the various books that the éditions were publishing at the time; those that were made of comic strips would usually get a couple pages of individual scripts, while the ongoing narratives got cut into episodes that were a few pages long (out of a typical 48 page count for a single BD album). Among those were this series.

For the first few volumes, I wasn't super into this series, probably because I was a little too young and smack dab in the middle of my "trying to be one of the boys" phase. But around book 3 I got really invested, to the point where I own the second half of the series because I had canceled by subscription by then but still wanted to know more.

Alexia is an exorcist with unusual talents, but little control, who's introduced to a group that specializes in researching paranormal phenomena, solving cases that involve the paranormal, that kinda stuff.

As a result of the premise, the series has a pretty slow start since it has to build up mystery around the source of Alexia's powers, but once it gets going and we get to what is essentially the series' main conflict, it gets really interesting.

Plus, witches. I'm a simple gay who likes strong protagonists and witches.

Murena

There was a point where my mtyhology nerdery led me to look for more stuff about the historical cultures that created them, and so I'd be super into stuff set in ancient Rome (I'd say "or Greece or Egypt" but let's face it, it was almost always Rome).

Murena is a series set just before the start of Emperor Nero's rule. You know, the one who was emperor when Rome burned, and according to urban legend either caused the fire or played the fiddle while it did (note: "fiddle" is a very English saying, it's usually the lyre in other languages). He probably didn't, it probably was propaganda, but he was a) a Roman Emperor, none of whom were particularly stellar guys and b) mean to Christians, who eventually got to rewrite history. So he's got a bad rep.

The series goes for a very historical take on events, albeit fictionalized (the protagonist and main PoV, the titular Lucius Murena, is himself fictional) and attempts to humanize the people involved in those events. Each book also includes some of the sources used to justify how events and characters are depicted, which is a nice touch.

It's also divided in subseries called "cycles" (books 1-4, 5-8 and the ongoing one starts at 9). I stopped after 9, though I think it's mostly a case of not going to bookstores often anymore. Plus it took four years between 9 and 10, and again between 10 and 11. But the first eight books made for a pretty solid story that honestly felt somewhat concluded as is, so it's a good place to start.

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snarkwriteswrasslin · 5 years ago

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FFT: that dress is begging to come off ; adam page

Notes:

This was an ask sent to me originally by @kyleoreillysknee on my previous writing blog snarkandsarcasmwrites which is now my personal / main. I thought it’d be easier to post it to it’s own post so it can be read easier.

This is smut, btw. Soft smut.

Summary:

Things heat up in this follow up to sweet cherry pie, and Audrey winds up having to share a hotel room with Adam. Smut. Sweet filth. Fluff, so muuuuch fluff.

Pairing:

Adam Hangman Page x OFC, Audrey.

Warnings:

Uhh, sexual content, not for anyone under 18+, sorry.

“There’s only one room left.” the desk clerk looked up from the screen she’d been staring at to flash an apologetic smile at Adam and Audrey.

The words had Audrey biting her lip and shuffling her feet as she glanced up at Adam.

Adam swallowed hard and nodded, glancing briefly at the clerk and then settling his eyes on her. He’d been trying to figure out whether it was okay to suggest that they share the room, but before he could decide in favor of or against making the suggestion, Audrey spoke up.

Audrey smiled, pressing against him just a little. She honestly couldn’t stop touching him now that the truth was completely out. She didn’t want to bother trying either. “We’ve shared a room before, Adam. It’s not really a big deal. ”

It rolled out of her mouth so smoothly she almost wanted to pat her own back. She’d been half afraid that suggesting it would have her stammering and blushing and fidgeting. And almost the second after she’d made the suggestion, the realization of what she’d just suggested really sank in and the slight panic and anxiety began.

Adam eyed her a second or two, blinking. “You sure, darlin?” he muttered quietly before breaking into a grin when she immediately nodded and gave that cute little shy smile while fidgeting.

“Adam, if I weren’t, I wouldn’t have said anything. It’s…” Audrey trailed off and took a deep breath, raising to tiptoe, whispering in his ear quietly, “If we’re going to be together, we were eventually going to already? And I’m honestly not ready for tonight to end.”

Adam’s hands gripped at her lower back, holding her against him and he chuckled quietly, taking a deep breath and nodding in agreement. He’d been hoping she’d want to travel with him and share rooms eventually, but he’d told himself after their discussion that he was going to do everything in his power not to put an ounce of pressure on her for anything. Everything that happened after tonight was going to be both of their decisions.

Not just his, not just hers. Both of them. Together.

As it should be.

“If that’s what you want, darlin.” Adam muttered, looking over Audrey’s head to meet the gaze of the desk clerk. “We’ll take the room. We decided we’d share.” he explained as he slipped his arms around Audrey’s waist, glancing down at her and smiling.

“Great. Well, let me just get your ID and we’ll get you both checked in.” the clerk smiled, taking Adam and Audrey’s identification, going to the back. While the clerk was in back making a copy of their ID for the hotel ledger, Audrey hugged against Adam and yawned, giving a soft laugh as she asked quietly, “You wanted to share a room too, right?”

“Absolutely, darlin. I just… I didn’t wanna make you feel like you had to if you didn’t want to.” Adam’s hand rested against her cheek, thumb rolling slowly over her soft skin as he stared down at her intently.

“Thank you.” Audrey smiled up at him, taking a deep breath. The clerk came back out with the room key and Adam took it, casually slipping his arm around her as they walked towards the elevator.

The entire time he was pressing the up arrow, Audrey kept trying to tell herself that tonight was no different than literally any other night of the handful they’d wound up sharing a room. But deep down, she knew it was.

Because she finally knew how he felt about her and where she stood. And he finally knew everything she’d been holding back. About the way she felt about him. About the fact that she wasn’t really experienced in relationships -or the intimate details that came with. They literally had no secrets, he’d even been up front with her about overhearing her conversation with Leva earlier. There was literally nothing to hold her back anymore.

And it felt freeing.

Adam cleared his throat. “You’re sure you’re okay with sharin a room tonight… Right?” because he was worried that she might not be as sure now as she had been in past instances and he didn’t want to make her feel like she had to share a room with him or that it was expected.

“Adam… I’m fine with it. Unless you’re not okay with it?” Audrey glanced up at him, taking a deep breath as she waited on him to answer. The elevator dinging to announce it’s arrival caught them both off guard and both of them jumped just a little, quick to laugh quietly about it after the fact. Adam motioned for her to get onto the elevator first and stepped in behind her.

He still hadn’t said anything.

Adam took a deep breath and spoke up after a second or two, pulling her against him, looking down at her. “Darlin, I’d love to share a hotel room with you, I just don’t want you to think you have to do that. I don’t want you to feel like I’m pressurin’ you or anything, okay?”

Audrey let out a ragged breath and nodded. “If you were, I’d say so.” she rose to tiptoe, taking his face in her hands, pulling him into a clumsy and gentle kiss that partially settled on the corner of his mouth. “Stop overthinking everything. Isn’t that what you said to me earlier?”

Adam bit back a quiet groan and wrapped his arms around her, his hands wandering down, fingertips digging into her lower back as he crashed his mouth against her mouth, deepening the kiss. “I did, didn’t I?”

Her back wound up against the elevator wall and her arms went around his neck as she nodded. “You did, indeed.” he trailed his hands over her sides gently, their mouths meeting again in a deeper kiss. His teeth snagged on her lower lip, tugging and when she gave that quiet little whimper and pressed against him even more, just as he was about to really deepen the kiss to a point where neither could breathe, the elevator stopped on their floor with the doors sliding open. Adam lowered his hands, gripping her ass, sliding her up his body.

Audrey’s legs wrapped around his waist and she let him carry her down the hallway to their shared hotel room. When she started to play with his hair and give him noisy little kisses on his cheeks and jaw, he gave a low chuckle. When her lips carefully and clumsily strayed from his face and started to trail down the side of his neck he barely managed to stop himself from groaning. They came to a stop at the door to their hotel room and her back met the door as Adam dug around in his pocket for the key and then slid it into the lock, stopping to kiss her again a time or two as he muttered softly, “Darlin…” in an almost warning tone.

A warning tone that seemed to be lost on her, because she clung to him tighter, brushing against him a little. His fingertips dug into her body and he finally managed to get the door open. He pouted a little almost playfully as Audrey climbed out of his arms, smiling when she was hugging against him and staring up at him, almost like she wanted to say something but she didn’t quite know how to say it. “What’s up, darlin?”

“Oh, nothing. I was just thinking. Tonight was amazing. And I’m glad that everything is out in the open now.”

“Oh you are, hm?” Adam was using the same playful tone on her as he wrapped his arms around her, giving a content sigh, brushing his lips against her forehead before meeting her gaze. “I’m glad it is too because it was gettin so hard to keep it to myself.” Adam’s mouth pressed against hers and Audrey smiled into the kiss, her fingers wrapping in his hair to pull him into it deeper. “I’m really gonna enjoy bein able to do this anytime I want.” he muttered into the kiss as Audrey nodded and muttered back quietly, “So am I. Before, I… I used to always worry that I was too touchy…”

“Not at all, darlin. Kinda like it when you touch me.” Adam answered, moving to sit on the bed, guiding her down into his lap without really breaking the kiss. “Okay, there’s no kinda. I love it when you were always findin little ways to touch me. And it was driving me crazy because when I tried to do the same I was always worried it was too much.”

“What?” Audrey pulled away to look at him with a shocked expression, taking a few deep breaths as she tried to get herself together, keep herself from going overboard. “No you weren’t. Not at all.” she added the last part firmly as if to emphasize it for him and raised her hands, taking gentle hold of his face, her thumbs rolling lazily over his cheeks.

Adam had to shift the way he was sitting just a little and he prayed to God that she didn’t notice. But the quiet gasp that escaped those lips just as she pressed them against his mouth all over again, a slower and much deeper kiss. His hands moved up and down her sides, lingering on her ass, fingertips digging in and squeezing and when she shifted in his lap, rubbing against him, he nipped at her lip, muttering a quiet, “Easy, darlin.” against her mouth as a warning.

“If I didn’t enjoy touching you so much that might not be a problem.” Audrey muttered back quietly, making Adam’s breath catch just a little. The kiss broke for the two to catch their breath and Adam found himself just staring at her in total adoration for a few seconds, his hand raising to caress her cheek as he closed the distance between their mouths again. Her hands wandered down to the hem of his shirt and she whined quietly, giving a gentle tug as they locked eyes.

Adam’s eyes settled on the way her fingers were sliding beneath the shirt and he sucked in a breath, coughing quietly. The sound seemed to echo off the walls, as did their heavy breathing and the quiet whispers. He lowered his hand, his fingers trailing over the back of her hand and he leaned in a little more, mumbling quietly against her ear, “You want somethin?” dropping his gaze back down to their hands and glancing back up at her as he chuckled quietly.

Despite the fact that she could feel her heart about to beat right out of her chest and she knew she was blushing, she managed to nod, biting her lip as she locked eyes with Adam. “Mhm. Very much so.”

It seemed to click for him and he took a shaky breath, staring her down intently. “You know you don’t have to do this, right?”

“Oh, I know.” Audrey almost couldn’t believe the words came out as smoothly as they did. Apparently, she thought to herself, the hardest part of all this was trying to figure out how or if I even should tell him how I feel. With that out, she licked her lips, her eyes meeting his when he tilted her chin back up. “Doesn’t change the fact that I want to.”

Adam shifted himself and groaned when the end result was him, rubbing right against her. He heard her sigh quietly and the sound made a smile play at his lips. “You’re sure…” he questioned as Audrey started to slowly tug the shirt upwards, letting it settle on the floor of the hotel room before she ever bothered to answer him.

“You’re overthinking this again, Adam.” Audrey practically purred the words against his mouth as she leaned in closer, pressing against him, awkwardly rubbing against him just to get even a little of the friction she craved going again.

His hands slid slowly up and down her body and his fingertips caught in the hem of her shirt, hands pushing it up her body and tossing it onto the floor with his shirt. Then they made their way back down, resting on her hips, rocking her against the way he strained at his favorite jeans and sucking in a sharp breath as he did so because it suddenly hit him just how much he wanted intimacy, especially with her and just how much it had been lacking in his life lately.

He rocked himself against her and went in for a deeper kiss, their noses bumping and sending a quiet laugh between the two of them as they stopped just to stare at each other a few seconds. “Just don’t want you rushin into somethin’ you might regret later.”

“I would never,” her lips broke away from his, clumsily dragging down his neck and making him shiver at the way it felt and grip her tighter. “ never ever regret it.” Audrey finished in a panted breath, her fingertips digging into his shoulders when he bucked into her again from below.

“You like that?” he half chuckled the question as his lips moved down her neck, his teeth grazing against soft flesh, tugging lightly. She shivered and gave a quiet whimper as she nodded and breathed out “Mhm. So much.” and giggled when his mouth grazed against a more ticklish area that she didn’t realize she had. “Sorry, just.. It kinda tickled too.” she muttered again, the racing of her heart starting to slow down and the realization of what she was about to do sinking in.

She felt not a single second of panic or fear giving herself completely to Adam Page. After all, he was the only man she’d ever really considered going this far with. The way the moon shined through gauzy curtains lit his face almost perfectly. His eyes were even bluer up close and personal.

Or maybe she hadn’t noticed it before because the weight of everything she’d been trying not to say in fear of it messing up their friendship clouded her actually taking in some of the little details. She was leaning towards thinking that was the case because she was noticing so much right now.

She must have been staring because Adam muttered with a quiet laugh, “Everything okay?”

“Everything is better than okay, Adam.” her head fell back as she said it and Adam’s mouth trailed down the front of her throat, across her collar bone and then it dipped down to the top of her breast.

The scrape of teeth against skin raised goosebumps all over and she clung to him, her fingers gripping his shoulders and dragging slowly over his scalp, pulling down the ponytail he’d thrown his hair into back at the arena. She trailed her hand down again, stopping it directly over his heart as she gently pushed him back against the mattress.

Adam pulled her down a little closer, his hands kneading into her ass and rubbing her against him as his mouth worked it’s way back up to her mouth. He could feel their lips starting to swell as the kisses got deeper and slower and on his end, almost needy. When her hand trailed down his chest and her fingers lingered at the waistband of his jeans, trailing across his abdomen just beneath the denim, he growled quietly and bucked himself into her a few more times slowly, watching the way she squirmed and tried to keep the friction going even after he’d stopped. Her breathing hitched a time or two and and so did his own. Her hand was shaking ever so slightly as it caught in the button of his jeans, tugging the button free. Adam’s hand moved down her body, coming to a stop at the waistband of her jeans, slowly unbuttoning the buttons there, shaky breaths as he did so, holding her gaze and licking his lip. He rose to a sitting position and leaned in, his hands moving up her body, stopping to squeeze her breasts together, then moving around, his fingers working the clasps of her bra free and tugging it away from her body.

“Stop me if you change your mind.” he muttered into her mouth as he gently pushed her back against the bed, settling himself on top of her, working her jeans and the black satin beneath down her legs. Audrey was writhing around beneath him, her hands moving all over his body, squirming against just to keep the friction going and Adam chuckled quietly, pulling her into a gentle and lasting kiss. “I mean it. If you change your mind, tell me.” he repeated himself, catching her gaze and biting his lip, waiting on a sign of confirmation from her.

Audrey bit her lip, staring up at him, her fingers working the zipper of his jeans down.Adam bucked himself against her and made his way down her body to stand and tug down his jeans and underwear, letting them pool to the floor and kicking them away from his ankles. As he made his way back onto the bed, settling on top of her again, she moaned and arched her back, rubbing herself against him. Skin against skin felt like sheer heaven right now, beyond every little fantasy she’d managed to have about this moment, -and him, to this point. Her breath caught in her throat as his lips left her lips to start traveling down her body again, lingering on her nipples, thick tongue making a broad and lazy circle around each one as his hands gripped her hips tight.

Adam’s mouth started to move down lower, tongue rolling over soft skin. He could feel himself getting even harder, starting to ache. It was all he could do to thrust against the mattress beneath just to keep himself in control and keep from rushing straight into burying himself inside of her. He felt her tense a little and heard her breath catch as his tongue drew a line across her lower abdomen after he’d moved lower down her body, settling over her legs, parting them with his hand, his body between them just to keep them spread wide. He glanced back up at her, licking his lips slowly and as soon as he saw the way she stared right back at him, biting her lip, propped on her elbows so she had a better view.

“Adam?” Audrey whimpered as she felt his tongue ghosting up the insides of her thighs. She could feel herself getting wetter, the way his tongue felt on her skin working her up even more.

“Just trust me, darlin.” Adam’s breath was warm against her sticky inner thigh and he groaned as soon as he felt just how slick it was. He hooked his arms beneath her thighs and the higher his mouth got, the more he felt her squirming around. When he nipped at the inside of her thigh she moaned a little louder and as his tongue ghosted over her folds, she shivered and her fingers curled in the comforter beneath her and in his hair, tugging. “Gonna make you feel good, baby.” he mumbled as the taste of her coated his tongue and he carefully slipped his fingers into her dripping core, scissoring and thrusting, working her open as slowly and carefully as he could so that he didn’t hurt her while fighting back the urge to buck himself against the mattress because the way she closed around his fingers sent a wave of pleasure rushing through him and he couldn’t wait to be buried deep inside her.

“Oh… fuck. Mmm.” Audrey’s head fell back and she tried to arch her hips upward once she’d gotten past the initial discomfort. “Adam, oh.. Yeah.” she gasped out as his tongue joined his fingers and he started to slowly and carefully fuck them into her core.

“Doesn’t hurt?” the feel of him talking sent a shiver racing through her body and she managed to mumble a distracted “No. It did a little, but not anymore.”

“Good.” Adam smiled against her cunt, starting to work his fingers and tongue in and out a little bit faster. Her fingers gripped his hair and the comforter tighter and she arched her hips against his mouth clumsily, trying to keep him from slowing down like he seemed to be trying to and pouting when he stopped and started to make his way back up her body, staring down at her before crashing his mouth against hers slowly and needily. His hand found her hand, their fingers interlocking and he groaned quietly as he felt her trying to rock her hips against him, desperate for friction of some kind. He chuckled into her mouth and rose up, his hand disappearing between them, circling his thick length as he dragged it slowly over her opening, leaning down to plant a soft kiss against her lips.

“Gonna try not to hurt you.” he muttered as he slowly slipped the tip of his thick length into her heat. Audrey tensed a little and bit her lip, taking a deep breath. She raised her hand, trailing it over his cheekbones and pulling him down into a kiss. The slight discomfort she felt eased off just a little and his tongue tangled with hers as he muttered softly, “You okay?”

“Mhm.” Audrey mumbled back, gripping Adam’s hand tighter as he started to gradually bury himself inside her, stopping when he felt her tense up, staring down at her, pressing soft kisses against her lips, neck and throat, using his free hand to stroke her hair. Audrey could feel herself starting to relax, to get used to him being inside of her and she started to clumsily rock her hips, trying to get him to start moving just a little. Once he started to slowly meet her hips with his own, she gasped and bit her lip, her back arching as one hand dug into his lower back, trying to guide him in deeper and her other hand slid through his hair, catching and tugging. Adam chuckled and kept the same slower pace, shaking his head no at her playfully. “Oh no, darlin. As long as I’ve wanted you, I’m gonna take my time.”

“Adam, c’mon… Please?”

He couldn’t resist the pout she gave and he was starting to realize that denying her anything was apparently going to be mission impossible, so he sped up his thrusts slightly, his mouth crashing against her own as he gave her a deep kiss that left her lips swelled and left her gasping for her next breath when it broke. His mouth grazed against her ear and he muttered quietly, “You feel so good, baby. So good.” as his tongue trailed around the outer edge of her ear. She moaned louder, Adam’s mouth curving upward in a smile as his lips ghosted down the side of her neck and he started to drive into her a little deeper, a little faster. “Fuck.” he panted against her skin as he slowed himself down. Audrey pouted at him, biting her lip. Every single time she started to feel like she might be getting closer to an orgasm, Adam would slow down and almost come to a stop, kissing her and touching her.

“Adam, please.” she gasped at one point when she was so close she was starting to shiver and cling to him. Adam bit his lip and leaned down, pulling her into a deep kiss as he coaxed quietly, “C’mon darlin, let go. Wanna…” he panted against her mouth breathlessly, “Feel you let go for me.”

As her orgasm washed over her, Adam slowed to a stop, nipping and sucking at her neck and the front of her chest, touching her face gently as he stared down at her. “So beautiful.” he muttered softly, trying to back away from the edge of his own impending orgasm. But he just couldn’t.

Adam rose up, pulling out and Audrey pouted, but Adam leaned down, capturing her mouth in another hot and soft kiss, nipping at her lower lip with his teeth. “Eyes on me, darlin.” he coaxed, biting his lip as his hand circled his length, pumping up and down quickly, his breath catching in his throat. Audrey whimpered and whined, squirming below and Adam growled as his own orgasm shattered through, his head falling back and his eyes fluttering open and shut as his seed splashed across her skin.

Slipping off of the bed, he made his way to the sink and grabbed a towel, wiping off and coming back to the bed, carefully wiping her off as he leaned down and kissed her again mid - yawn. “I didn’t hurt you did I, darlin?” he muttered carefully as he looked down at her. Audrey smiled and shook her head no, yawning again, pulling him down beside her and rolling so that she was partially on top of him, pressing her lips against his. “Not really. I’m a little sore, but mostly tired.”

Adam smiled up at her, raising his hand to brush it through her hair and tuck her hair behind her ear. “Good. I’m tired too, darlin. Gonna feel nice to hold you while we’re sleepin.”

#adam hangman page fanfiction #adam hangman page fanfic #adam hangman page fic #adam hangman page oneshot #adam hangman page imagine #// no one under 18+

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heyyyharry · 5 years ago

Text

Chapter 4: False Alarm

(from the Flatmate Trilogy: Two Hearts, One Home)

…in which their cat’s gone missing and Y/N doesn’t know what to do.

Word count: 3.7k

Chapter 3: Handcuffs - Niall can only think of one way to solve his best friends’ conflict.

Wattpad link

A/N: For those who did not know, I went through a terrible week and couldn't write, so I had to postpone this update until Sunday. This chapter is shorter than the previous ones, but the next will be as long as usual. Thank you for reading! Love, Allie. (Btw, who loves Breakfast At Tiffany’s and Audrey Hepburn?)

“No, no, no, this is not happening to me!”

When Layla heard Y/N’s scream, she was in the living room watching Breakfast At Tiffany’s. Normally she would just shrug it off because it could be another cockroach in the tub. But as Y/N shouted out her name specifically, she had no choice but to click pause and go see what it was.

Her best friend was sitting on the bedroom floor, back pressed against the closet. Once she spotted Layla, she rose immediately to show her the phone. “I missed my period,” she cried out, looking utterly distraught. “I haven’t checked the app in so long and just now realized I’m two weeks late. I can’t even remember the last time I was late!”

“Okay, calm down.” Layla raised her hands, taking a deep breath. “As far as I know, stress can cause irregular and missed periods, and you’ve been working your ass off lately. No wonder.”

“But I threw up yesterday and this morning too.”

“What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that...” Y/N paused, shutting her eyes as if she was afraid if she said it, it would come true. But she couldn’t avoid the thought forever, she had to tell somebody. “I think I’m pregnant.”

“Don’t joke like that.” Layla snorted, but Y/N was quick to seize her arm.

“Harry and I had sex without a condom on our honeymoon once and I forgot that I wasn’t on the pills!” The girl said in one single breath, but Layla could hear every word loud and clear. Her eyes bulged out as her jaw dropped. She took a few seconds to figure out how to react to this news.

“How could you fucking forget, dumbass?!” She raised her voice, smacking her best friend on the arm. Y/N jumped away, rubbing the sore spot as she pouted. “We were on the beach and...and there were stars and...it was very romantic and—”

Layla cut her off by putting up one hand. “Spare me the details, please. I’ve seen enough in the last five years, I’m surprised I’m not traumatized yet.”

Y/N huffed and ignored that joke as she went on, “but the point is, I already took the emergency pill in the morning!”

“Those pills don’t always work you know.”

“I know, I just...don’t know what to do now?” The distressed girl collapsed onto her bed, her face was pallid, and her heart was pounding so hard that her chest might explode. “I can’t...I can’t get pregnant now. My husband is drowning under a pile of work, and I just got promoted.”

Standing with her back against the closet, Layla glanced up at the ceiling. She thought for two seconds and looked back to Y/N. “Have you taken a test?”

Y/N propped herself up on her elbows, frowning as she mumbled, “n-no.”

With no hesitation, Layla jumped right at her and dragged her straight towards the bathroom door. “Do you have one of those pregnancy sticks?” Y/N nodded, her mouth turned into a frown. “Good. Now get your ass in there and pee on it, then we’ll figure out what to do next.”

“But what if I’m really pregnant?”

“Just fucking get in there!” Layla grumbled as she pushed her best friend into the room and shut the door. The problem was temporarily solved. Now it was time to go back to her favorite movie.

Every one of Layla's friends knew how obsessed she was with Breakfast At Tiffany’s. She couldn’t recall how many times she’d watched that film and fallen in love with Audrey Hepburn all over again. So when Y/N asked her to come over for a movie marathon Sunday, she had been so excited, knowing her best friend had never seen this one before. But here she was, watching it alone because Y/N was taking forever in the bathroom with that pregnancy stick.

“You’re gonna miss the iconic scene! Holly is putting on her lipstick!” Layla shouted with a mouth full of popcorn and muttered along the famous line “a girl doesn’t read this sort of things without her lipstick,” while grinning from ear to ear.

“Layla...”

The soft voice pulled her attention away from the TV screen. She meant to scold at Y/N for interrupting her, but as soon as she saw her best friend’s pouting face, she knew something had gone wrong.

“H-How was it?” She immediately stood up and walked up to Y/N, who gave her a slight shrug. Y/N didn’t say a word, still, Layla already had her answer. What else could it be when Y/N seemed this agitated? A positive. Definitely a positive.

Frowning, she wrapped both arms around Y/N to pull her in and lay a kiss on her forehead. “Don’t worry..." she said. "You’re gonna be a great mum."

“But I—” Y/N could barely begin when Layla shushed her with a wave and turned back to the screen. Audrey’s character Holly was now crying in the rain because she’d lost her yellow cat. This was Layla's favorite scene, there was no way she could miss it.

“Cat! Cat!” She mumbled along with Holly, placing both hands on her chest. No matter how many times she had watched this one, she always got emotional as if it was her first. However, her mood was ruined by another scream so loud, that her ears went deaf for a few seconds. She widened her eyes at Y/N, who was now looking from left to right like she was going insane.

“Where’s Treasure?!” She shouted.

It was then that Layla remembered she hadn’t seen the white cat that entire morning. She scanned her eyes around the room, looking slightly concerned. “You told me you were gonna give the cat a bath. But then you screamed, and I came in to see you on your bedroom floor.”

“Right...I was...I was about to give her a bath...” Y/N tried to steady her breath while pacing back and forth. Immediately, she stopped dead in her tracks, her jaw fell slack as she pointed a finger to the front door which was wide opened. “Who opened that door?!”

“You did!” Layla scoffed. “You told me you burnt something in the kitchen, so you let the door opened for the smoke to fly out.”

“Shit...no, no, no!” Y/N wailed, her face contorted. Nam had been cat-sitting Treasure for so long and never had there been a problem. But as soon as he took a day off and let Y/N do the job, Treasure ended up missing. How could she be so careless? If something happened to her cat, she would hate herself forever. Harry would hate her too. She couldn’t let that happen. And so she freaked out and told her best friend, “We need to go find Treasure!”

“Calm down, she’ll come ba—” Layla didn’t get to finish her sentence. Y/N pushed her aside and ran out of the flat in a heartbeat.

“Meow!”

The sound caused Layla’s head to spin. For a second there she had hoped it was Treasure. But unfortunately, it was from the movie. Holly Golightly had found her yellow cat in the alley, and while in tears, she hugged her pet as soft music began to play. Layla exhaled, rolling her eyes. She knew she’d be damned if Treasure never came back again, and so she paused the film to follow Y/N out of the flat.

As the girls got to the lobby, they bumped into Ben, who was on his way to visit them. The smile on his face slipped just as Layla screamed “Treasure is missing!” and Y/N pushed him aside to rush towards the door. Confused, he snatched her arm and pulled her right back.

“Let’s all calm down now. Treasure’s a smart cat. She won’t go far,” he tried to reassure the nervous girl, but those words seemed completely useless as she hissed and brushed him off.

“She’s my cat okay? You don’t have a cat, you don’t get it!”

Y/N’s aggressive reaction left Ben confused. Eyes widened, he turned to Layla, shooting her a look of concern as he assumed she would know what was going on. But her mouth snapped shut instead of giving him an answer. Something about their behaviors made Ben think Y/N’s lost cat wasn’t the biggest problem here. He stepped forward, gently rubbing her arm and leaning down so their eyes met.

“Hey, just take a deep breath and—” Y/N barely let him finish. She grabbed his shoulders then shook him violently. “I spent five minutes with my cat and now she’s missing! How am I gonna look after a human baby?!”

“Okay, dude, stop. You’re scaring him.” Layla literally had to drag her away before she ripped off Ben’s shirt. It took the man around five seconds to figure out what she meant, and once realization dawned on his face, he gasped, covering his mouth.

“Are you pregnant?”

“No, I am not!” Y/N answered, but Layla quickly clarified. “She’s still in the denial phase.”

Ben’s reaction to the pregnancy news was entirely different from the girls had expected. He clasped his hands together, bouncing up and down before reaching out to caress Y/N’s belly. His eyes literally lit up when he smiled at her. “Is it a little Y/N or little Harry?”

“Oh my god, does anyone with a dick know how pregnancy works?” Layla cried out as she smacked his hand away, and he instantly shot her a glare.

“Someone with a dick who’s not into dicks might.”

“Enough with the pregnancy talk!” Y/N raised her voice, sounding exhausted and frustrated at the same time. She knew if she let these two argue it would never end, thus the best solution at the moment was to stay calm as Ben had said. There was plenty of time later to worry about being pregnant. “Now.” She sighed. “Let’s split and find Treasure before something happens to her.”

The search had gone on for almost three hours. They had been to every place in their neighborhood where they assumed the cat might be, but it was hopeless. How could they find such a tiny creature in a city as big as London? A child might be easy to spot, but Treasure was a cat. God knew where she might be. She could've been kidnapped and nobody would've cared or noticed. That, however, was the last thing Y/N wanted to think of right now.

Heartbroken and disappointed, Y/N returned to her building, trying to catch her breath while sweat was dripping down from her forehead and soaking her entire back. There she met Layla, who was also in the same nervous state.

“Y/N, I’ve looked everywhere, can’t find her.” Layla breathed, both hands on her hip as she looked around, squinting her eyes. “Let’s just hope Ben returns with good news.”

That didn't calm Y/N's nerves at all. She slowly released a shaky breath and flopped down on the step behind them. Hugging both knees, she muttered, “this is all my fault. How am I supposed to tell Harry?”

Layla could only sigh as she took a seat next to her friend. With both arms around Y/N’s shoulders, she spoke, “this isn’t your fault. It’s just the pregnancy hormones that make you feel this way.”

But Y/N shook her head. Layla didn't understand that response, yet she had a feeling there was something else she did not know. Without waiting for her to wonder, Y/N blurted out, “I...I didn't take the test.”

“What?" Layla’s green eyes shot open. “What the fuck does that mean?!”

“I-I was about to but I got scared...”

“Fuck, dude…” was all Layla could whisper before letting the silence sink in, and they sat like that, both were thinking on their own. It did sound like a bad thing at first. Y/N let Layla and also Ben believe the test was positive, thus they had been worrying all for nothing. But as Layla thought again, she realized this could be better. She tapped her best friend on the shoulder to get her attention. “But hey, it means you might not be pregnant. We still have hope.”

“Actually…” Y/N’s voice was so tiny Layla could barely hear that word. "That’s what I’m afraid of.”

“Huh?”

Y/N sighed, chewing on her bottom lip as she pondered before speaking up. “I know this may sound insane but...we had a pregnancy scare before and...and it was a false alarm. So if it happens again, I think...” She paused right there. Just like before, she was afraid to say something and have it become a reality. But she trusted Layla, and she knew if she was going to confide in anyone other than Harry, it should be Layla.

“What if I can’t have babies?” Y/N spoke at last. Her voice shuddered, and the anxiety was clear in her tone. “I know I said I didn’t want to have kids now...but what if when I’m ready, I still can’t?”

Layla’s expression softened at once. She put a hand on Y/N’s shoulder as a tiny smile formed on her lips. “Hey, don’t be so pessimistic, everything will be fi—”

“You don’t get it." Y/N shook her head fast, her chapped lips pressed together as her eyes swam with tears. “That’s all Harry’s talked about since our wedding. How am I supposed to come back tonight and tell him I’ve lost our cat and I cannot have babies?”

“He’s not gonna leave you because you can’t get pregnant. Harry’s not like that.”

“But he’ll be disappointed…” She shook her head, her eyes were filled with tears. “I don’t want Harry to be sad and disappointed. I want him to be happy.”

“Hey.” Layla exhaled as she cupped her best friend’s face. “I’ve known Harry for five years, and I‘ve never seen him happier than when he’s with you. That idiot loves you. He’s gonna love you if you go bald and lose all your teeth. You think he gives a fuck if you cannot have babies?”

“No…”

“Say it with confidence, bitch.”

“No,” Y/N spoke louder, trying not to laugh as she wiped away her tears.

Layla giggled, rolling her eyes. “And let’s not make assumptions so soon. We don’t know for sure if you’re pregnant, or if Treasure is really missing. Want me to call H?”

“No, don't.” Y/N shook her head slowly, now more relaxed than before. “He’s having lunch with his suppliers...I don’t wanna bother him.”

Layla said nothing else as she nodded. They sat there for a little while, watching people passing by and waiting for Ben to come back, hopefully with some good news. But the thing about living in London was that, one second it was sunny, and in a blink of an eye, it was raining cats and dogs. That Sunday was no exception. It began with a raindrop on Layla’s arm which instantly caught her attention as she lifted her face up. She opened her mouth to warn Y/N about what was coming for them, but as soon as the first sound escaped her lips, the rain came down like a giant waterfall.

“Shit!” She cursed, standing up quickly, yet Y/N was still sitting there, unbothered by the unexpected shower.

“Hey, dumbass, stand up!”

“No, Treasure can’t be out there in this rain!” Y/N shrugged her best friend’s arm away, keeping her hands above her eyes so she could with water was splashing down on them. Layla kept repeating that Treasure would be fine, but neither of them knew if that was true anymore. They didn't want to think of the worst scenarios because it would break their hearts to even imagine. However, the rain turned out to be their stroke of luck. A familiar purr made their heads turned to the other side of the road. This time, Layla was sure it wasn’t from any movie scene.

“Treasure!”

“Meow!”

The white fur ball hopped off the brick wall and ran across the street to jump right into Y/N’s arms. Y/N forgot about the cold as she pulled the wet creature to her chest, giving her soft kisses all over. “I will never let you out of sight again,” she promised, squeezing Treasure tightly.

Standing on the sidelines, Layla ignored the rain pouring down on them three. "My favorite scene," she mumbled, her lips curved into a peaceful smile. The moment was beautiful and warm. But then a yellow cat jumped right out from the bush behind them, causing Layla to scream and almost fall down into the puddle at her feet.

“Tiger?” Y/N raised both eyebrows as the creature approached her and rubbed its face against her leg.

“Jesus Christ, how many cats do you secretly own?!” Layla shouted, making her best friend giggle.

“This one isn’t mine, it's Mason’s.”

“Harry's hot cousin?”

“You mean ‘annoying’?” Y/N snorted. “Yeah.”

That was when Ben came back, holding a black umbrella and looking startled to see the girls standing in the rain. All out of breath, he announced with an enormous grin, “that lady over there said that she saw Treasure with a yellow cat, they were heading to the park and—Hold up!” The man halted when he saw those little troublemakers staring back at him. The look on his face made both Y/N and Layla burst out laughing.

“Okay, Romeo and Juliet,” Y/N sighed as she picked Tiger up with her other hand. “Let’s get you both dry and cleaned.”.

As soon as Harry got home, he dashed into the bedroom. His hair was wet from the rain, but fortunately, his clothes were mostly dry. With a sigh of relief, he leaned against the door, smiling as he saw his wife and their cat snuggling up together while watching a movie. As soon as Y/N spotted him, she cheered, “daddy’s home!” And Treasure meowed in joy when he came in to kiss both of their heads.

He stroked his wife’s cheek in concern. “I ran into Ben earlier. Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, it was a false alarm.” Y/N nodded, pressing her moist lips into a gentle smile. “She was only going on a date with Tiger.”

“Mason’s cat?”

She nodded again, and both of them turned to look at the guilty one.

“Guess I don't have to wait until we have a daughter to worry about her and the boy next door.” Harry chuckled while shaking his head. He expected Y/N to laugh along like she normally would, but instead, she kept a straight face. It wasn’t her not finding his joke funny, it was something else, he could tell.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” Harry asked, eyebrows furrowed in concern as he met her eyes again. Instead of telling him the reason, she responded with a question which left him surprised.

“Did Ben tell you about the other thing?”

He stuck out his bottom lip, shaking his head slightly. “What other thing?”

“That I thought I was pregnant, but I wasn’t?”

Harry felt his entire body go numb as he heard that. He didn’t know how to respond because he couldn’t read her expression, so all he could do was stutter and end up shaking his head. “He um…no, he didn’t mention…Are you okay, love?”

“Layla took me to the hospital. All those pregnancy symptoms were caused by stress,” she whispered and blinked her sweet eyes at him. Harry had no idea why she seemed so sad. She had been rambling on about how they couldn’t afford a child at this point. He thought she should be happy instead.

“Oh, that’s a relief, right? You don’t want to have kids now,” he said while rubbing her back as she scooted closer to rest her head on his shoulder. She was quiet for a while to think before she spoke. It was always bad news when Y/N was quiet. He knew her well to realize when something was bothering her.

“Yeah, well...I...” She hesitated. “Maybe...I won’t ever...have kids.” As she pulled away to see how he reacted, he tried to remain calm, yet ended up gawking at her. She gulped, reaching out to squeeze the hand he put on her lap. Her voice shuddered as she went on. “I have high FSH levels, which means low chances of getting pregnant.”

“Oh” was his instant reply. That was a terrible comment to your wife saying she might never have children, but he wasn’t in his clear mind to come up with something better. He was shocked, yes, but he wasn’t upset about the news, not even the slightest.

“I’m sorry,” she spoke quietly, giving his hand another squeeze.

That was how he knew, she forgot. She forgot how much he loved her, and they were married, and nothing in this world could change the fact that, they were together in this forever.

“No, don’t be sorry, love.” He pressed his forehead against her, watching her eyelids flutter as she held his gaze. “This doesn’t matter to me, you do. Besides, having low chances doesn’t mean impossible.”

"But it’s still unlikely...I’m so sorry," she apologized once more, despite knowing he hated it when she blamed herself for something that wasn’t her fault. Still, she couldn’t help but feel like it was. "We’ve talked about having kids since forever, and now I’m telling you that it might not happen, I—"

“Hey.” He grabbed her face with both hands, forcing her to pay attention to his words instead of her own. “This isn’t your fault. This doesn’t change how much I love you. Told you at our wedding, didn’t I? I’ll love you forever, and that means with or without babies. We can always adopt ours, like Brad and Angelina, yeah? We’ll be a family of ten if that's what you want.” With tears in her eyes, she nodded fast, exhaling a warm laugh that got him chuckling as well. “Let’s not lose hope,” he reassured her. “I’m sure we’ll get kids of our own one day.”

“You believe that?”

“Yeah.” He pressed a kiss to the corner of her lips. “But I’m happy with the way things are now. We’re already a happy family. You, me, and—” Sighing, he turned to Treasure, who was patiently waiting for her name to get mentioned. “And this little lady who left home with the boy her parents had warned her about.”

Y/N giggled, hugging the cat close to her chest and pulling her husband closer to kiss him passionately. The film on her laptop was still playing, and she knew Layla would be so mad that she didn’t watch until the rolling credits. However, everyone knew how it would end, with Holly Golightly kissing her lover Paul while holding her cat.

#harry styles fluff #flatmate!harry #husband!harry #ceo!harry #harry styles writing #harry styles series #harry styles angst #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfics #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfictions

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slasherholic · 6 years ago

Note

Hey there love! I sent a request b4 but since requests are closed you couldn’t write it so here it goes again. “I want a scenario where reader doms michael and denies him from release. Which leads him to begging. I want him all tied up with chains so he can’t get away. But I mean reader really doms him like she is totally in control. And I have something for this guy’s muscles. He is really big and strong so it would be so hot that you got him begging under you, isn’t it?” Im nasty 🤤😅 thx btw

Impulse

Michael Myers x Female!Reader

Some things are simply set in stone— birds fly, water is wet, and Michael Audrey Myers would have never willingly agreed to being tied down and left entirely at your mercy— but that little fact had not stopped you from trying.

That night, when he had approached you like a ravenous predator with a glint in his eyes that betrayed his desire, when he had swept you off your feet and shoved you face-first into the chilly bedsheets, when you heard the drag of a zipper and felt his strong hands tugging eagerly at the hem of your pants, you did something that you had never even dreamed of attempting for simple fear of the outcome:

You told Michael no.

You told him that, unless he let you try something new, he would have to provide his own release, because he wasn’t going to touch you.

Michael’s calloused fingers stilled suddenly against your waist. His body went rigid. His breaths fell hot and heavy and from his lips in a thinly-veiled frustration. The coldness in his eyes was unmistakable— in denying him his release, you were playing a very dangerous game.

A tense moment passed; and, when Michael did not ignore your wishes, when he did not bend you over and fuck you regardless of your warning, you proceeded with your plan. Your palms met the pulsing skin of his bare chest and you shoved him back against the bed. Michael did not resist. You straddled his hips, which he allowed as well, although by this point his muscles were wrought with tension beneath you, and you could tell that his patience was wearing thin.

You leaned suddenly forward to lay across his chest and intertwined your fingers teasingly through his hair. Your lips worked hungrily over his, a distraction, which he fell for— he did not see your free hand slipping slowly up to clip a cuff over his wrist. Only when he felt the sting of cold metal, when he heard the lock click sharply into place, did Michael lunge and make a grab for your arm; but, it was too late. His left hand was cuffed firmly above his head to the bedframe.

Never had you seen such a bitterly-cold look in Michael’s eyes. He jerked and pulled at the restraint, and the wooden frame creaked and whined under the immense pressure, but it seemed to be holding. You stated your proposal before Michael’s thrashing took the bed down.

“Michael, hold on— just listen to me.” You began, and Michael gave one final tug, and then he stilled. The coldness in his eyes alone was enough to send a shiver down your spine.

“Okay. I’ll uncuff you if that’s what you want, but Michael, I’m serious— you aren’t going to touch me tonight.” You stated. Then, you dangled the second cuff teasingly in the air. “Or… you let me finish, and we do this my way for once. It’s your call.“

Michael glared at the gleaming metal in your hand. His fingers balled so tightly into fists that his knuckles shone white.

Then, just as you had anticipated, his lust and desperation won out. Michael hissed a furious exhale through clenched teeth and slowly sunk back down onto the sheets, until his back was flat against the mattress. He grew as still as a corpse. His decision had been made.

Michael stared murderously ahead at the ceiling as you gently slipped the second cuff over his wrist. The sharp click of the lock sealed his fate— you wondered just how long it would take him to forgive you for this.

You stripped slowly. Now that Michael was cuffed, you were in no rush, so you allowed yourself a moment to enjoy his utterly vulnerable and flustered state. Still he refused to look at you. You straddled him, sank down on his hips teasingly close to his throbbing length, and let your busy fingers trace along the dip of his collar bones, then down to his toned abdominal muscles, where you marveled the rise and fall of his broad chest with his every heated breath.

Each time that your hands fell across his radiating skin Michael’s jaw grew tenser. Slowly, your gentle touches travelled down his body— to his hips, to his inner thigh— and finally, you ghosted your nails teasingly down the shaft of his cock. Michael gave a violent shudder. His thick member was painfully erect and dripping. You began to pump your hand along his burning shaft, and Michael arched impatiently into your touch, seeking relief from the torturous heat. The bedframe creaked and moaned as he tugged at his restraints.

“You’re not allowed to come, Michael.” You stated firmly, with as much authority as you could muster. Your hand quickened its pace. “If you come, we start over— is that clear?”

Michael’s only response was a hitched breath and a low, guttural growl, which you felt reverberate up his chest. Your own sex was throbbing now and demanded your attention; you gave in to your body’s desires.

You hovered over Michael’s hips and teased the thick head of his cock back and forth along your slick folds. Slowly, you sunk down onto his member. Your lips parted in a soft groan as the head popped past your entrance and began to stretch your walls. You worked him deeper inside of you until his warmth kissed your cervix, and you arched back, your mouth falling agape as his girth sheathed within you. You were stuffed.

You rocked against Michael’s hips, working yourself at a torturous pace along his shaft. Michael’s stubbornly blank expression was slipping; his brows had drawn together and a string of stifled groans fled his parted lips. He clawed at his restraints until the biting metal had chaffed a furious red band across his wrists.

You quickened your pace, taking Michael’s length deeper inside of you with greedy thrusts, until every roll of your hips was hitting the most sensitive spots within you and had you crying out in raw pleasure.

Michael was becoming entirely undone beneath you. Sweat glistened across his straining biceps as he yanked harder still at his cuffs.

Your muscles twitched torturously around Michael’s cock as you came. His eyes squeezed shut. You leaned forwards and pressed yourself against his burning chest, which rose and fell frantically with every labored, needy inhale. Michael had taken your warning to heart; you had not yet told him that he could come. Your lips pulled into a lazy smile. Truthfully, you hadn’t thought him capable of showing such restraint.

Your fingers travelled up to his brown curls and you gently kneaded his hair, planted light, teasing kisses across his collar bones, and up his neck. Michael’s eyes glistened with a sudden wetness. Goosebumps seized his quivering body. Your cupped his chin, tracing a finger lazily down his tensed jaw.

“Look at me, Michael.” You purred. Michael met your eyes. His bitter stare was unblinking and dripping with venom— his nostrils flared furiously with every inhale. Never had you seen such raw emotion on his face.

“I want you to beg for it.”

Your words lit a raging fire in Michael’s chest. His eyes grew darker still. You ghosted your finger along his lips with a knowing smile. When the cuffs came off, you were so screwed; but, what came next would make it all worth it.

“Just say the word Michael, and you can come.”

Michael gave a low, dangerous growl, a warning, as if he had adopted the mentality of a cornered animal. You held your ground, were about to reach down to once again tease his throbbing, swollen cock, when finally it happened—

“—Please.” Michael spat hoarsely. The word came out as a low hiss from between clenched teeth. The murderous glare that accompanied it sent a shiver down your spine. You shot him a languid smile, then nipped playfully at the soft flesh of his inner lip, and captured his mouth in one final kiss. Michael did not return your affection.

“Good boy— “ You whispered in his ear. “You earned it.”

Michael’s muscles twitched and strained against the cuffs as his torturously-denied orgasm swept his entire body. He shuddered and shivered, and then slumped back against the sheets. His muscles slackened. He went perfectly still. In an instant, any trace of anger, any hint of emotion, had vanished from Michael’s face. He stared blankly at the ceiling as if basking in the glow of his orgasm.

A knowing smile pulled at your lips. You weren’t foolish enough to believe his ruse. Michael was preparing to pounce; as soon as the cuffs came off, he would have his revenge.

Your night had only just begun.

#I love posting smut at 2 pm #Michael Myers #michael myers x reader #michael myers x you #michael myers/reader #Slashers #slasher headcanons #slasher imagines #slasher x reader #Halloween #fanfiction

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nikatyler · 6 years ago

Photo

When I finished my exam today, I was really excited and full of energy but now all of that is gone and I’m starting to see how stressful this day has actually been. I’m so incredibly tired! I went to bed at 11 pm yesterday, fell asleep quite quickly, woke up again at midnight. I slept until 4 am and then I kept waking up and falling asleep in what I believe were really short intervals. I don’t know which of these nightmare scenarios I had were actual nightmares and which ones I came up with thanks to overthinking. It was some crazy shit - one of them, probably the craziest one, I actually shared on twitter yesterday. For a little bit, I was worried that I would wake up without the ability to read or write. And even though I know that’s impossible, I was so worried and I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

Thing is, my anxious perfectionist brain always jumps to “either you do well on this or you die” mindset. Which then leads to me being stressed out days before and doing crazy things because of that. Just to name a few: I unfollowed a lot of blogs because following so many was driving me insane. I muted a bunch of people on twitter and called it self care even though it was probably just petty. Last but not least, I’m generally more mean and insensitive than I usually am these days and I hate that but also, I just can’t help it. (hey please if I was mean to you, don’t give up on me, it’ll get better again I swear) So yeah, fun times. Can’t wait for it to be finally June so all of this is over.

To quote my favourite musical: hold your breath and count the days, we’re graduating soon, college will be paradise if I’m not dead by June.

Onto those replies now.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “So…I was just casually setting up another scene, posing the sims and...”

This is DESTINY of this generation - trying to die (hard)

Just wait for when I focus on Regan. That girl is...going in her parents’ footsteps. I swear it’s not my fault. Seriously. I would never want for any of my important legacy sims to die.

Okay well, I might have planned to kill off Tyler at one point like year and a half ago but we don’t talk about that. Ever. Not since that dumb “one year with Rose triplets” thing. Don’t worry about it.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Unfortunately, it didn’t help. Again, sims logic. Don’t question it....”

NO MIRACLE NO

Miracles shouldn't die!

How dare you!

When I said "don't return to aliens" I didn't mean "die instead"

pxelblobs replied to your photoset “Unfortunately, it didn’t help. Again, sims logic. Don’t question it....”

Noooo Miracle!

I knew that sims could burn to death if the weather is too hot and everything, but it has never happened to me and I certainly didn’t expect it to happen now. I was freaking out. That was not how I wanted her story to end.

Then I went to twitter and asked people what they want me to do, but before the poll ended, I actually decided that nope, I can’t do this, she has to stay alive. By the way, if I remember correctly, people voted for leaving her dead. Sooo...yeah.

harmoniouspixels replied to your post “WAIT HOLD UP IS MIRACLE LIKE DEAD DEAD”

I guess I wasn't paying too much attention until this ask BUT MIRACLE'S DEAD WTF

Lmao I can see this happening to me. In fact, it has definitely happened to me before - just casually scrolling down my dash, not paying attention to anything (which is why I never go to my dash anymore) at all and then suddenly I realize - wait a minute, when did that sim die?! What did I miss?

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “Yeah well, Adam, maybe you could’ve done something when you still had...”

Will Smith voice: It's rewind time

I laughed so hard at this because I literally made the same joke a few posts later. Great minds think alike! *let’s pretend I’m a great mind ok, at least for a few seconds*

treason-and-plot replied to your post “WAIT HOLD UP IS MIRACLE LIKE DEAD DEAD”

This game is so cruel

Yup.

It couldn’t have happened to like...I don’t know. Esme during the uni storyline. Or Fred during James’s storyline. Guys, do you remember Fred the mustache guy? Good old times.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Adam: “Hmmm, I wonder what I should do?”

I just thought... IT'S A BEACH THERE IS PLENTY OF WATER AROUND

I KNOW

THAT’S WHAT BOTHERED ME THE MOST IT LITERALLY DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE

*slow clap for sims logic*

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “At least she gets a nice gravestone…I guess. Aaand the dog is useless...”

simlovinggirl replied to your photoset “At least she gets a nice gravestone…I guess. Aaand the dog is useless...”

I can't believe she died this way! :'(

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Miracle baby oh my god I’m so sorry I didn’t want this to happen I’m...”

:( :( :(

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “Miracle baby oh my god I’m so sorry I didn’t want this to happen I’m...”

�� poor miracle

The only thing I really enjoyed about this is that these posts fell on the weekend before April 1st. I know this isn’t something to be laughed at...but the timing was so perfect. If I had planned this, it wouldn’t have worked.

Then again, let’s be real, I wouldn’t have planned this. This is just cruel.

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset “Worry not, Adam. The Grim Reaper might be cruel but I’m the one who’s...”

Whew I'm glad she's still alive

simlovinggirl replied to your photoset “Worry not, Adam. The Grim Reaper might be cruel but I’m the one who’s...”

PHEW!!!!!

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Worry not, Adam. The Grim Reaper might be cruel but I’m the one who’s...”

Yay!

I’ve never been more excited to quit without saving

whysimstho replied to your photoset “Lydia: “Sorry I’m late! I didn’t mean to, I promise. Siblings got in...”

"Oh yeah and my mom died in an alternate reality but it's cool, it's cool."

I mean, she’s definitely heard about all the crazy shit that has happened to her family over the years, so maybe it doesn’t seem as a big deal to her anymore.

It’s been a while since I last said Roses are a mess but they really are a huge mess lmao

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “cloudberry-sims: ???: Sorry but you can’t read that book yet! Stone:...”

Zillah will most likely appear after I finish Strangerville!

Yay! You don’t have to rush though, as long as she appears one day, it’s cool. It’s just a little sad when I spend a lot of time working on a sim and then the person who requested them never uses them.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “This girl is no longer on fiyah, fiyaaaaah”

Next time you try to die don't do it, okay?

Oh trust me I’ll keep an eye on her from now on

It’s what Caleb would have wanted

wait did I just make myself cry thinking about this

dreamsongsims replied to your photoset “I’m still not sure why she’s doing martial arts. Like yeah, I wanted...”

That moment when you just can't remember what your plans were for your sim! I have that a lot. LOL

I guess I do kinda remember the purpose for the story, the problem is...I don’t actually understand why I did it that way?

create-a-sim replied to your photo “someday i’ll be famous and you’ll have to admit you were wrong.”

Wow, this looks super cool!

Thank you! I really enjoyed working on this. It’s just one of the many outcomes of my “Tyler gets famous” headcanons, which by the way are one of my favourite things to think about these days.

onemoreordinarysimblr replied to your photo “Am I late to the party?”

Very cute!

alfalfalegacy replied to your photo “I had to do another one.”

This is a nice looking room!!

berrysweetboutique replied to your photo “I had to do another one.”

They're too fun and this is way cute ♥

Thank you guys! I really enjoy the idea of this. I’m definitely not done with this trend yet! ♥

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “please don’t ever become a stranger whose laugh i could recognize...”

Oh it sucks that that person isn't around anymore(( losing friends is always hard

Btw, the edit is really cute!

Yeah...I was going through my old posts yesterday, saw some asks and got sad about this again. I miss talking daily to a person who was so much like me in so many ways. I don’t want to go into details but yeah...never thought I could miss a person I’ve never actually met and here I am.

desira-sims replied to your post “�� ?”

I feel ya on the bands. My music tastes seems to go from one extreme to the next.

It’s so hard to limit yourself to just one genre! I don’t understand how some people can do this. Well, I don’t actually believe such people exist...everyone has their “guilty pleasure” and no one will change my mind.

desira-sims replied to your post “I associate you with Ross and Caleb :D (i really need to catch up on...”

This is 100% me.

It’s clear, if a sim wants to be the mascot of my blog, they have to be a bisexual disaster.

I mean, when I look at myself, that makes sense. I myself am one big bisexual disaster.

mellowaliens replied to your post “Tomorrow, I’m taking my first graduation exam. It’s a writing one, so...”

Good luck hon!

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “Tomorrow, I’m taking my first graduation exam. It’s a writing one, so...”

Good luck! ❤️ You can do it!

desira-sims replied to your post “Tomorrow, I’m taking my first graduation exam. It’s a writing one, so...”

Good luck!!! Sending positive vibes your way.

whysimstho replied to your post “Tomorrow, I’m taking my first graduation exam. It’s a writing one, so...”

Good Luck!

audrey-rosewadsworth replied to your post “Tomorrow, I’m taking my first graduation exam. It’s a writing one, so...”

GOOD LUCK

audrey-rosewadsworth replied to your post “Tomorrow, I’m taking my first graduation exam. It’s a writing one, so...”

I BELIEVE IN YOUUUU

poisonfireleafs replied to your post “Hey hi hello guess who survived the exam? It went better than I...”

Good luck tomorrow :)

*hugs* Thank you so much guys. ♥

desira-sims replied to your post “Good morning guys, I'm still freaking out about the exam. I'm taking...”

Just take deep breath and don’t stress too much. You’ll do great on the exam. Congrats on your milestone!

I started feeling so much better when I left home. I went out and I was like okay, I can’t do much about this anymore, can I? And then I met up with my friend at the bus stop and we just talked and suddenly I wasn’t scared anymore because I realized we’re all in this together - the two of us, the rest of our class and all the other 80 000 (or something) students in our country who were taking the exam as well.

My biggest problem was that the exam started at 12.30 and ended at like 2.30 pm. If it had been in the morning, I wouldn’t have had so much time to worry about it. Thank the lord that’s the case with the English exam tomorrow, it starts at 8 am which is an okay school time for me - on a normal day, classes start at 7.50.

Also, thank you! ♥

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your post “Hey hi hello guess who survived the exam? It went better than I...”

Yay, congrats!

desira-sims replied to your post “Hey hi hello guess who survived the exam? It went better than I...”

Woot woot!

mellowaliens replied to your post “Hey hi hello guess who survived the exam? It went better than I...”

Good luck and congrats!

Now I’ll have to wait for the results...that’s gonna be fuuuuuun.

By the way, people are already making memes based on the topics and I enjoy that. People who didn’t take the exam can’t understand, but it’s really funny, I swear.

simlovinggirl replied to your photoset

awwwwww! ♥ ♥ ♥

They’re definitely among the cutest couples I have in my game right now! ♥

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Courtney: “Uhh…” Regan: “Wait. You…you guys? You’re like…” Felix: “Not...”

Well I kinda shipped themXD

I must admit that I didn’t at first, but then I noticed it could work. Whenever Regan said something bad about Felix, Courtney defended him, and so I thought...what if they went to uni together? Could they fall in love? Turns out they could :D

#replies #tiny-tany-thaanos #pxelblobs #harmoniouspixels #alfalfalegacy #treason-and-plot #whysimstho #dreamsongsims #create-a-sim #onemoreordinarysimblr #berrysweetboutique #desira-sims #mellowaliens #audrey-rosewadsworth #poisonfireleafs #simlovinggirl

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vertigoambrosia · 5 years ago

Text

road to superstars woop woop

watching wrestling at work again

finally, i’ll actually get to see my rise boys

LMAOOOO ILJA caught him

yeah what kind of idiot tries to hit ilja over the head?

ehhhh andy’s commentating alone again

and oh we’re calling ilja a nxt superstar’ now? can we not

ninja *wink*

what a weird promo

kyle is so fucking stupid looking when he talks but he and mark actually have a very good point

kind of annoying that wxw is being cute about having boring booking though

that being said HERE’S MY BOYS

actually booked for once

seriously though it really bothers me that they’re not pushing their homegrown stable harder

and honestly, not writing them well - if someone only started watching at carat or after, would it be clear that pete was ivan were good guys?

i’m gonna sideeye wxw super hard if pete and ivan aren’t in canada

“the fans are chanting something about ivan kiev’s sexual prowess” lmaoooo i guesss that’s the all night long chant?

munster thanks for loving ivan as much as i do

it’s so funny how wxw is in oberhausen all the time but the crowd is usually better in other places

BOYS STOP ARGUING

IVAAAAAN

oh snap that stomp/neckbreaker looked sick

how was that not the ending!

i can’t believe they’re making pete heel

if pete and ivan break up i am not going to be happy!!!!!

does ivan know? he’s so happy to win!

baby

my rodent child

IVAN DIDN’T KNOW?

tell meeeeeee

this matters so much

walter!

lol walter is proud of veit for beating up david starr

a strict father, but not afraid to give praise

i do miss david tho

nice mise-en-scene, again

.......we have seen this match and it is not good

btw i know a superstars spoiler and i am not please about it

the thing that frustrates me is, aren’t there a good amount of notable women wrestlers that aren’t signed still? what about that time when we almost had an actual women’s division? where did audrey bride go?

hahaha alison being dramatic

i did roll my eyes at ‘witch bitch’, but i do actually like what she does w

hahaha ‘in die fresse’

those corner kicks were good gotta admit

and i like when she facewashes someone right out of the ring

but like...i feel like there should be more women in wxw that are at a higher level than amale and alison

oh how dare u amale

ok this match is def better than their last one

but short.

tommy did you forget amale’s last name

HEY WHERE WERE THE SUBS FOR THAT GERMAN

OH SNAP

lucky believes his family over his cool new friends!

but

oh his heart will be BROKEN

yuta! you ballsy lil fuck!

OH NO HE DID NOT

OHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

only one person in this match has brain cells

i am giving leon benefit of the doubt because i don’t know him as well

also i just like making fun of juju

i’m never gonna stop finding it funny that he was offended by the suggestion that he was a car

why is he doing the lucha chant motion

ah no he is dancing to leon’s song

ahura has negative brain cells

it’s amazing maggot doesn’t get dumber by hanging around with him

ACTUALLY, andy, technically, right now julian is wearing the colors of the reverse flash

hahaha andy shitting on ahura

no crowd, no auf die fresse; ahura desperately needs to stay pretty!

ohh that apron move could have been really bad

i can’t make too much fun of ahura for forgetting who was legal cause i did too

HAHAHAHAHAHA AHURA IS SO STUPID

i want pretty bastards to end their losing streak but...ahura......pls

oh thank god we’re gonna see these two finally in a singles match

OH MY GOD SHUT UP EMIL

it must also feel kinda shitty to anyone who wanted the shotgun title to see wxw put it on emil and then not have him actually defend it

baby boy!

yuta!

this guy

i have a feeling avalanche is gonna interfere in this to get at emil

crowd y u chant for emil

see i wish emil’s character atually lined up with his wrestling

wait was yuta’s win supposed to be dirty? i remember it as being just a rollup

lucky, possibly, but not dirty

also, didn’t veit fight dragan in hamburg and win? it was when dragan was ~diamond dragan~ after winning a match and then he was really sad when he lost :(

i guess anything before veit became a regular doesn’t count....

oh great we have two ‘emil does nothing’ spots?

r e a l l y?

uhh lucky what was that move suppose dto be

yay lucky!

was kinda rooting for my shitty boi yuta but it would have been a huge upset if he defeated lucky

oh my god ahura

aww poor maggot

is ahura sniffling?

wait no i want crazy vinny again

well actually i would be fine if vinny went away but you know what i mean

remember when ringkampf fucked up bobby after bobby put a cigarette out in tim’s eye? that was a good feud

also gave us the brilliance of “hans kruger”

FINALLY WE GET THIS SINGLES MATCH

oh snap i didn’t notice the stripes on kelly’s jacket say ‘killer kelly’

lol look at that match graphic - they couldn’t even fit all the names in

sorry i’m not saying a lot about this match - honestly, i’m tired and not paying attention well even though i should

haha i do love kelly just yelling ‘give up!’

oh that sequence from valkyrie was pretty sick

o shiiiit that was cool

ohhhh scissor kick

in a better world this would have been a title match

oh i didn’t realize brian cage was impact champ

he scares me i feel like he could pop like a balloon

also i watched him chuck darby allin into a shitload of chairs

like, actually throw him

i feel like ilja vs brian cage should have been on the main show

OH NO LUCKY FOUND OUT

BABY

PETE

oh fuck pete

nooooooooooooooooooooo

i can’t take thiiiiiis

i can’t believe pete would bully my child

i am stressed!

walter where’s ur belt

legit surprised wwe didn’t let him bring it - pete dunne carried it everywhere

maybe he forgot it lol

jfc bobby’s scarf is ugly

bad merch

it’s also totally the wrong season for scarves

haha walter arguing with a fan

wtf nobody wants to see vinny vs walter

ok actually i don’t mind walter being a dick to vinny

lmaoooooo LA vs boston? that’s not a real rivalry

NY vs boston is probably closer to what he means

yess crowd booing the brothers! MAKE THEM HEEL

i feel like it’s hard to root against ringkampf because veit just seems like a good boy

wholesome beef

wholesome hamburger

oh i actuallt really liked that dragon screw

i hope veit challenfes for the title at some point; he might not quite be ready to hold it yet, but soon

though i also hope lucky challenges and wins before the end of the summer so

ooo bobby maaad

um i think the unified champion is dead

i thought keiler meant bull but andy keeps saying hog?

yaay ringkampf

wtf wxw you slap on a lowres youtube promo and don’t evne bother to subtitle?

ugh it’s this guy

let’s not even talk about that promo

wait wow brian cage looks a lot less inflated now

i mean he’s still huge, but his arms look like they’re actual human tissue and not balloons stretched to their limit

ilja is so. pale.

*chops* *drops*

can we call that an ilja flop? he doesn’t do that too often but it makes me chuckle ever time

i swear i am watching i’m just also so fucking tired

and i have tix to a local show tonight and don’t want to do my customary chickening out

there’s barbecue too

hahahaha the crowd either chose not to do or couldn’t follow the terminator clap

oh ok now they are

i really think they should use the wider angle on the hard cam for the coast to coast; at least right up until the impact

but to be fair i don’t have access to all the shots so i can’t actually judge

ok that constantin special was actually like, not contrived and made sense that cage wouldn’t see it coming

sometimes it and stuff like the rebound clothesline get kinda silly

fuck i still have minimum 75 minutes left at work and i am dead ass tired

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happiness-in-oblivion · 7 years ago

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Senior Szn No. 2: Thoughts on Moving

~~ Full Disclosure: This post is quickly becoming an excuse to post all the beautiful parts of this state, so get ready for more pictures than actual words. But hey, a picture is worth a thousand words ;) ~~

I am 100% sure that when it comes down to pulling out of my driveway for the last time, I will bawl my freaking eyes out. That’s because despite being an Aquarius, I have emotions.

Let’s make this perfectly clear: these are my current thoughts on leaving New Mexico (AKA the land of enchantment). I am not saying that I currently hate my state or that I never had fun; on the contrary, I’ve enjoyed all eighteen years here. But it’s time to talk a bit about the current state of Albuquerque, NM.

Yes, the same Albuquerque that brought the nation Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul. The same Albuquerque that has (don’t fight me on this) the best green chile around.

Because I don’t want to make this a post that seems to be hating on my hometown, I will begin with all the positives.

Pros

1. diversity and mexican/latin@ empowerment

The OG homies and I at the local paleteria. Let me tell you, this is the place where I come to break my healthy eating. Also, that happens often.

In 2016, New Mexico was announced as having the largest Hispanic population at 47%, with California coming in second at 36%. So I guess you could say that we slay.

From what I’ve mostly encountered in ABQ, being cultured is something to be extremely proud of. Albuquerque is filled with multiple perspectives, and we function. Now, I did say mostly, because I have encountered some dumbasses that thought calling me “lamb chops” and telling me my Greek father had to lower his standards to marry my Mexican mom was actually funny. But that kind of ideology is quickly shut down.

I thought this kind of inclusion was extremely common. In that sense, I guess I was in this naive bubble. When I spent the summer in California with my dad in 2016, I was a bit shocked by the state with the second highest population of Hispanics.

BTW, we were staying in Palo Alto, which is definitely important to mention. We had to drive to a separate city limit to eat flautas and Caldo de Rez, which we found weird. And then, as we drove down El Camino Real and took a random turn, we found a run down street that was filled with Spanish signs advertising hair salons, supermarkets, etc. The blatant street segregation was the biggest culture shock I’d ever received.

The only true purpose of that little rant was to emphasize how wonderful New Mexico is. Although there are definitely neighborhoods that are predominantly Hispanic, New Mexico’s roots proudly seep into culture and diversity. Good segway… :)

2. proud (albu)quirky culture

New Mexicans pride themselves when it comes to: breakfast burritos, green chile, luminarias, flamenco, and so on.

Now that I’ve stated the obvious, I’ll talk about my personal favorite part of Albu-quirky. Because of the diverse community that Albuquerque fosters, we have really cool and local spots to just chill and hangout. As I write this, I am thinking about the countless coffee shops and bookstores that display a bit it of our very common quirkiness.

Pretty rad mural outside of Zendo. I often come here when I am trying to wear my cool new glasses and baby blue turtleneck, if you know what I mean. This mural is one of countless examples of beautiful downtown art.

When it comes to coffee shops, I think Albuquerque has a very desired vibe. After taking a few classes, I usually end up at Winning Coffee. Located right across the street from campus, Winning is where hippies come with their wild dogs while they gain insightful stories from homeless people. I’m not lying. it’s also located next to a movie poster store that features classics (even from Audrey Hepburn!). When you walk inside, you’re greeted by refreshing and new art on the wall with every passing week, a calendar filled with poetry slams, and a makeshift bookstore by a retired man who sells amazing vintage cover books for cheap. I mean, c’mon, what is not to love?

You see, other than Starbucks, most coffee shops around here aren’t chains, so they each have their own unique style and vibe. Depending on the mood, I may end up at Winning, or I may go down one block and sit in the bucolic setting that is Limonata (yes, like the drink). Here, you can enjoy homemade crepes and empanadas. And I don’t usually drink caffeine, but their chai’s are to die for.

Limonata: “Good Food, Good Coffee, Good People”

Also, I can’t forget the fact that this obviously looks like a house, because it definitely was. The bathroom literally has a bath tub that they have expertly filled with plants to make you experience a jungle in a few minutes.

Heck, there’s a coffee shop in Taos called World Cup that has different currencies as its wallpaper. it’s literally a hole in the wall, and people simply pin new and refreshing culture on the wall for the heck of it.

That adobe architecture though, am I right?

4. cheap concerts

Although I have not been to a concert in a hot second, that does not correlate to a decline in awesome ass shows in this city. In fact, this past summer Khalid came on over, and most of my friends hopped into the venue with at most an $80 ticket. (Let me point out that I am upset that I didn’t go and had I not been in another state I would have quickly hopped in as well)

I will admit it’s not always fun when an artist you really enjoy didn’t include New Mexico in their tour because they don’t think we’re in the country. BUT, the ones that do include us experience a great crowd. And, not being New York does have its perks. Cheap tickets for an unforgettable night? Perfect bargain.

I was in seventh grade when I attended my first concert. The tickets were $35 to see Sara Bareilles and OneRepublic. I went with my little sister and my friend and her mom. The venue was in our local casino, which includes an open view of the beautiful sky and a scenic landscape as the background. Right after the opening band, Harper Blynn (check out their collab with Sara Bareilles too), my sister and I went to their bus in an attempt to meet them, and meet them we did.

When they found out it was our first concert ever, they gave us a free signed copy of their CD, took pictures with us, and signed their names all over my seven-year-old sister’s arm in Sharpie. It was AWESOME.

5. badass nationwide events

If there is one thing that New Mexico is known for, it is for our rad balloons. You know, as in hot air balloons?

Every year, Albuquerque is home to the International Balloon Fiesta, where hot balloon aficionados can come and either display their artwork of a balloon, or sip some Piñon coffee and eat a breakfast burrito while watching each beautiful hot air ballon go up into the most spectacular sunrise.

Seriously, to come to this thing requires a lot of might from Burqueños. I mean, I enjoy watching the balloons over the interstate on my way to school, but I am never in the mood to wake up at four in the a.m. only to wait in an hour of traffic to battle for a parking spot a mile away from the park grounds. On top of that, you’re pretending not to freeze your ass off as you slyly inch closer to the balloons with fire.

This is not the only time Albuquerque is seen internationally. We also have the Lantern Festival in October, where people can enjoy a mini version of a hot air balloon (basically). But hey, that’s not all.

I had to talk about Festival Flamenco Internacional. OMG. What a week. Every June, the National Institute of Flamenco brings incredible flamenco artists to teach classes and perform. For a week in the year, people between New York and Japan fly to Albu-quirky to learn from the hottest (artistically and literally) artists.

This picture has an incredible story, so hear me out. So all summer, my friends and I fundraised to see these amazing people and their art. Well, the opening night of the week, our director managed to sneak us into the very prestigious gala as waitresses and servers. After the amazing show where I spent the entire time internally crying, we returned to the party only to find our dance idols on the dance floor. They were regular people jamming to salsa music. It was so surreal! And then, our amazing director asked them for a picture with all of us. I am hugging Claudia Cruz to my left, who was one of my teachers for the week. Throughout the week, we had genuine conversations, and she even told me I was a good dancer with a followed wink. She messages me on facebook to remind me that I’m awesome and she can’t wait for the day to come when I visit her in Spain. Like, are you kidding me?!

(Also picture from left to right: Claudia Cruz, me, Sage, Marco Flores, Agueda Saavedra, Madison, and Jose Manuel Alvarez)

6. nature

This is another given that comes hand in hand with living in New Mexico. Although I will admit sometimes I may not be a complete outdoorsy person, I do genuinely enjoy the beauty of NM. I mean, the mountains that surround Albuquerque prevent pollution from reaching the sky that blesses the citizens with orange and red hues with every sunrise and sunset. Also, there are countless hikes to go on, and the view is spectacular. It’s a tradition with family and friends of ours to go on a weekly hike during the summer. Then, we go to Marble Brewery and enjoy tacos and beer (I don’t get any beer; oh well).

This was the view after a hike on the mountains during Thanksgiving Break.

Just a casual picture taken by my friend while hiking around Tent Rocks. Nothing too unusual, right?

Current Cons

Now that I’ve extensively covered all the amazing things that NM has to offer and have probably already lost several readers, I will go into the initial motivation behind this post. Although I admit now that after writing all the things from above, it seems like the list below doesn’t deserve to be mentioned. But trust me, it needs to be.

1. violence

Albuquerque got recognition from the NYTimes, and not the good kind. BTW, this was published in 2014, and it claims that the “rate of violent crime in Albuquerque is nearly double the national average.”

Don’t get me wrong - violence in ABQ has always been present. Before, however, it was usually localized violence. By this, I guess I mean that if you knew the places to avoid, you didn’t ever have to actually witness the gang violence or the constant murders. In other words, you could live in Albuquerque reading of the violence but never having to ever witness it.

Well, that has definitely changed.

During this past week, a homeless man has exposed himself to my dance class, my mom witnessed a man piss on the side of my neighbor’s house while walking our dog, and a lot more serious stuff (trigger warning ahead).

Specifically, a man was hanging onto the side of the bridge overlooking the major freeway for 13 hours. This happened literally right outside of my house. As we drove back form church, we saw a herd of policemen trying to calm this poor man down. He did not yield until 1 a.m., and he was transported to the hospital safely. It was absolutely horrible. Even worse?

Two days later, my friend told our group chat that her stepfather (who is a cop) had to respond to a call that a sixteen-year-old boy was on the side of a different bridge. As the cops approached the bridge, he jumped. He didn’t die; instead, he is faced with irrecoverable brain injury.

Like you’ve got to be fucking kidding me right now. How the hell did Albuquerque become so violent? From the influx of desperate homeless people walking down Central, to the shooting that happened right outside of my dance institute, Albuquerque has definitely become a place where violence is beginning to occur on a regular basis. And the worst part? I think I am starting to become numb to it. It’s not normal to think these things are normal.

2. 49th in education

So, this report is from 2017. Believe it or not, this is actually a step up from 2016. We were a solid last in the country for education. And I genuinely didn’t think that education in my state was that bad. That’s because, despite me absolutely despising my school, we are number one in the state for education. That means that while I was receiving a buttload of homework and a ridiculously difficult education, other public high schools would rank as an F on academic abilities. But do you know what I think of all of this? It’s fucked.

I don’t know if this is nationwide, but I didn’t know it was not normal to spend most of the day studying for statewide tests. In other words, New Mexico had the SBA (Standardized Based Assessment). Most of my school day involved multiple choice questions and answering reading comprehension questions that would be featured on the annual standardized test. And trust me, it’s not the teacher’s faults. Most teachers were forced to stick to this because if students did not receive good scores, teachers and schools would be in major jeopardy.

This kind of thinking didn’t end in elementary school. While I was supposed to be reading a new chapter for a striking English book in sixth grade, we’d instead sit in front of our computers, reading pointless passages about horses and spaceships that we gave no fucks over and were expected to write an analytical essay comparing the breed of horses with the flight of spaceships. You’re thinking, wtf? Exactly. It’s pointless.

**I am now begging you to actually click the link I am posting here, because it’s definitely the most important one here. Enjoy this slam poem, “Love Letter to Albuquerque Public Schools.” In it is Olivia Gatwood, a personal inspiration of mine that I got to meet and speak with in September and will see again in April.**

3. “land of entrapment” / “university near mom”

This one is really silly and I guess I put this as a comedic conclusion. I guess in a gruesome way, because of the education many teenagers receive, we seem trapped (bringing the infamous nickname above). I know that personally, before I actually took college courses outside of the state, I did not picture myself at any top-ranked college. In fact, some people around me don’t even consider a college. Not because they’re too lazy or not into higher education, but because it is not practical. It is not practical to attend college courses if you have family members that need an income from you now, not in four years.

I hate when people judge other’s circumstances. Genuinely, Albuquerque students will often end up at the University of New Mexico, which is not a bad university at all. And yet, in this land of entrapment, it is also humorously deemed the “university near mom.”

I guess what I mean is that after all this effort and living in this weird ass situation of shootings and standardized testing, my generation still feels trapped, constantly looking to move. And that’s what happened to me. I was given a glimpse of what independence looked like, and I immediately jumped at the opportunity to leave New Mexico.

I’m glad I wrote this post. At the end of this, I wonder if anyone is actually left after this long rant that was both good and evil. And yet, I already see the day I miss this place coming sooner rather than later.

Thanks for sticking around. :)

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ismael37olson · 6 years ago

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Be More Chill

Two years ago, I had never heard of Be More Chill, the novel or the musical. And tonight we start rehearsals for the musical -- even as it's running and breaking house records on Broadway. So what's the big deal? Some of the reviews off and on Broadway have been very positive, others more mixed. It seems many of the reviewers don't quite understand what it is they're seeing. This isn't an adult world's point of view; this story comes from the point of view of these high schools kids. And to them, none of this is funny. To them, the stakes are impossibly high. We all remember those days, right? Stylistically, Be More Chill is cousin to Little Shop, Heathers, Bat Boy, BBAJ, Urinetown, Return to the Forbidden Planet, Spelling Bee, and other shows in the new-ish category of neo musical comedy, shows that use traditional devices and conventions but with a more personal, more subtle, more complex, often more subversive, more political agenda. There are politics here, but they're subliminal. In Be More Chill, the premise is ridiculous, but inside that world, everything makes sense. It's much like what Howard Ashman wrote in his preface to the published script for Little Shop:

Little Shop of Horrors satirizes many things: science fiction, B movies, musical comedy itself, and even the Faust legend. There will, therefore, be a temptation to play it for camp and low-comedy. This is a great and potentially fatal mistake. The script keeps its tongue firmly in cheek, so the actors should not. Instead, they should play with simplicity, honesty, and sweetness – even when events are at their most outlandish. The show’s individual “style” will evolve naturally from the words themselves and an approach to acting and singing them that is almost child-like in its sincerity and intensity. By way of example, Audrey poses like Fay Wray from time to time. But she does this because she’s in genuine fear and happens to see the world as her private B movie – not because she’s “commenting” to the audience on the silliness of her situation. Having directed the original New York production of Little Shop myself, and subsequently having seen it in many versions and even many languages, I can vouch for the fact that when Little Shop is at its most honest, it is also at its funniest and most enjoyable.

I remember first reading that -- after already having seen and loved the show off Broadway -- and it really had an impact on me. And besides, I'm not convinced Be More Chill is a comedy at all, though there are a lot of laughs. It's actually a pretty serious, dark story, despite the many laughs. The same could be said of High Fidelity or La Cage aux Folles. But again, like Little Shop, Heathers, and Bat Boy, this is a thriller. That's not obvious at first when you're watching the show, because the show itself pulls a wonderful "fake" on the audience... For much of Act I of Be More Chill, we think we're following a (sort of) traditional Hero Myth story, with Jeremy in search of the wisdom he lacks. His journey is about finding his path, his Real, as Passing Strange would put it. But Jeremy spends most of our story on somebody else's path, so it's impossible for him to get where he's going. Ultimately, he has to learn that he has to follow -- and embrace -- his own path in life. We might even argue that Michael is the Wise Wizard figure in this Hero Myth story, with the Squip as the Evil Wizard....? But really, Be More Chill is not Jeremy's story, and it's not a Hero Myth story. It's not till early Act II that we discover the real story here -- it's really a science fiction, world domination story, complete with the ubiquitous 1950s sci-fi theme of Science Run Amok. It's halfway through our story that we discover we've been duped -- exactly as Jeremy has been -- because the Squip has hidden its real agenda. We start to realize that we're not following a young man trying to find his way; no, we're following a megalomaniac AI computer trying to take over the world. That's a little different. And that's where Be More Chill escapes any label or category you might try to impose. The true story, under the clever cloak of Jeremy's story, is about a malevolent force (a cousin to Terminator's Skynet?) that uses our greatest human weakness -- disconnectedness -- to seduce and conquer us. Jeremy's -- and our -- only salvation is in real human, face-to-face connection, without technology intervening, selecting for us, tailoring to us, manipulating us. Could this theme be any more relevant at this moment in our cultural history? But wait, there's more... The zombie references that are peppered throughout the show, and the zombie apocalypse the drama teacher imposes on Midsummer Night's Dream, all point toward something fairly subtle amongst all this sci-fi-ish madness. Everybody is a zombie in Be More Chill, in one way or another -- and the show is arguing, many of us are zombies, stumbling purposelessly through our everyday lives. Jeremy's Dad is an emotional zombie, walking around, but "dead" inside. Jeremy and Michael are social zombies, walking the halls of school, but "dead" to the social elite. Even the popular kids are metaphorical zombies -- maybe they're moral zombies? -- following blindly without thought or question.

And all this is a stand-in for the real-world, teenage "digital zombies," walking through life with the eyes glued to their smartphones. The show even updates the classic "Telephone Hour" with "The Smartphone Hour." Again, it couldn't be more timely. Jeremy's salvation is in breaking the zombie spell, forcing all these people to think for themselves, rather than blindly think and do what they're told. It's a subtle but potent metaphor. This show is no silly confection. This is a rich, complicated look at life in the Digital Age, about teen depression, about bullying, and through it all, about the profound power of human connection; and therefore, subliminally, about the profound power of live theatre. With all this in mind, it's clear to us that taking these characters less than seriously betrays the characters and betrays the audience, because the audience has lived these experiences. The writing is very honest and authentic -- and funny -- so if the performances aren't honest, we'll throw the show out of balance. There are some very deep, complex, serious emotions running through this story. The running joke about Dad's pants is funny, but ultimately, it leads to an incredibly powerful payoff in Act II that is packed with meaning and emotion. This show has been so carefully wrought, but it's also so honest and big-hearted and authentic. The writing is so good. As much as everybody loves it on Broadway right now, I can't wait to share this with an audience in our intimate, little blackbox theatre -- all those emotions are going to be so overwhelming, so impossible to escape, so powerful. Dowdy is the lead director this time, though we'll direct the show together. I can't wait to work on this material, and then to share it with audiences! Our actors are crazy excited to start work! And BTW, ticket sales are already really strong, so get your tickets now! Another amazing adventure begins! Long Live the Musical! Scott BUY TICKETS HERE. from The Bad Boy of Musical Theatre http://newlinetheatre.blogspot.com/2019/04/be-more-chill.html

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