#clearance? what's that?

[zsugamialba]

The nerve of some people! I just can't believe the security at an important government facility would question my right to be here!

[inbabylontheywept]

The Fridges. Oh My God, The Fridges.

This is a continuation of the last piece I wrote on the weird shit that happens in classified facilities. The building I work in has somewhere around 30-35 people in it. It also has around 20 fridges. There's kind of a saga that goes into this, so I'll start with the first part: The Hoarding.

The building has an insane overabundance of space. They just keep adding new rooms every time an old room needs an update, so it just sprawls on forever. There's also an extremely limited ability to get anyone who does not work full time in the building, into the building. This means that while we work on missiles, we also clean our own desks and vacuum the floors and mop and all of those other tasks that most places would consider "non-engineer work." This is fine if it's something anyone with a body can do, but this causes problems when you're looking at the physical limits of engineers. Namely, we are not very muscular people.

Thus, if something needs to get manhandled into a space, it gets manhandled by whatever group of nerds you can bribe, threaten, or guilt into joining you. When a fridge dies, it is a motherfucker to remove it from the building, so they often just...didn't. What they did instead was get the fridges onto dolleys, which isn't too bad, wheel those dolleys to the elevator, and then park them in a relatively empty part of the basement that we shall call The Graveyard of Fridges. This wasn't originally meant to be a permanent solution, but when you have space but lack muscles, it can become permanent really fast. Eventually, someone realized that you can padlock the fronts of the fridges and use them as document storage, which has the added perk of meaning that the people on site don't have to assemble more filing cabinets. Everyone here hates assembling filing cabinets. It's fucking terrible. (It is worth noting that in this era, you would occasionally get directions to a secret file that looked like "1970's model, lime green, left crisper.")

We will call this the peak of the Hoarding Era. It is followed by the Mechanical Engineering Era.

Around 2015, it was realized that the group needed engineers familiar with industrial machinery, and not just standard electronics, so mechanical engineers (MEs) began to get hired. The new ME's made it a sort of rite of passage for proceeding new hires to repair an old fridge. So the site went from having 4 functioning fridges and 15ish being used for document storage to around 15 functioning fridges and 4 used for file storage.

Every time a fridge got fixed, people just put them back on the dolley, wheeled them back in the elevator, and got them wedged in their personal office spaces. If you were a bigwig, you might be able to get dibs on your own personal fridge, and if you were a new guy confined to the cubicle jungle you might have to share one with four or five other guys. But it was still a ludicrous amount of fridge space.

And that is how a base with 35 people on it wound up with 15 fridges.

[sherlockisademigod]

love that, when faced with the problem of having Quinn hill's dead name on the albums, the first thought was to make it into a top secret file

[raspberry-gloaming]

Im so surprised that it didn't become like super widespread knowledge that Coulson was alive, like they're all like "only level 7 agents and higher (plus the field team) can know about this" and then he's going out on missions and talking to random agents who like are not that level if I was a random field agent and the guy whose supposed to be dead shows up to help out I would freak out idk about you and also tell my colleagues

[salesman404]

euryegeuurydueyeueueuyeeyryryeueeiwiqiaoaoaoowororiwueureururueue

are you a reduced item

excuse me?

[forgetme-eternally-blissfully]

Ughhhhhh thinking about og Cale tonight.... Deruth remarried and, to make his stepfamily comfortable, Cale sacrificed his connection with them. Deruth, by choosing to be happy with a new family, ended up making his son sacrifice his own happiness.

Deruth stayed ignorant, painfully so, of this fact. Cale said that if he can make his father's new family happy, he can make sure his father is happy too. Cale saw that his father couldn't handle the loss of his mother and said that's okay, you can be happy with them. I'll never forget her though. Her loss will remain a scar on my heart and soul for the rest of my time, and I'll always wonder what could have been. If I had gotten the chance to be your son. If she could have remained as your wife.

Fuckkkkkk his heart was too big. Deruth didn't know. He didn't know. It isn't his fault, Cale was too smart, too consistent in his act, too clever. He never stood a chance. Deruth had to deal with the guilt of a wayward son so that he wouldn't deal with the guilt of a sacrificed child. Sacrificed to the maws of relatives and the public eye, to the suspicious glares of strangers and acquaintances alike, the flinching of someone he would never be violent with. He would never be happy but someone would. He ensured it, someone would be happy. He believed they all could be truly happy, even without him.

So where does that leave him? Fragmented from his original self. He pretends to throw bottles and he fakes sneers and will spit insults of vitriol he doesn't think hard about. He drinks and drinks and drinks and it tastes fine but he can't even get drunk. His alcohol tolerance won't let him have even that much mercy. Or should he be thankful, for the chance to perfect the act of a foolhard drunkard, unable to be caught in a lie like a fool would be.

Oh how he makes everything perfect. He does it all perfectly. A calculated, disingenuous act that has him fooling everyone but himself for the sake of his family, the family he will keep happy no matter what.

Then it all goes to hell.

And... oh.

The sacrifice of a boy was useless to keep anyone alive, in the end.

Then he looks at Death. Death says he can make it work, one last time. One last sacrifice. Say goodbye to everyone and everything you know and love, anything that you worked towards for your entire life... and they can all be happy.

Just you.

Just you need to leave.

And the only thing, the only thing he can grasp onto, the last piece of himself left behind that can be brought with him...

His mother.

The last piece of the puzzle. From a family he has to say goodbye to. The one, good connection he has left, of a life where he gave himself until he had nothing. Not even himself. And she won't even remember. Just him, just he has to remember.

How perfect.

[windvexer]

banger posts as always vex xx

do you have a process for writing then or are they more stream of consciousness?

We're in reference to this, probably!

Thanks for saying so, how kind of you!

When I write nonfiction I typically start with one or a couple points I want to make. I write in order: intro, points, transitions, summary. I write to establish the point I want to make.

As I write I try to focus on what I think the experience would be for people reading it:

Likely background information

Accessibility (word choice, paragraph size, decorative elements)

Questions likely raised

As I write, I go back and forth between establishing my point and editing in a way that I anticipate would make those points easiest to read and digest for the target audience.

I try to answer questions that I raise, which I think not immediately answering would be distracting. I try to imagine the emotions and thoughts readers might have, and deliver a cohesive experience. I often edit to be mindful of emotions, which I think is what makes some of my writing a little theatrical, even if the piece is strictly informative. (This sounds so dramatic, I'm sure!)

Although I tend to edit my longer pieces a lot, I consider everything I post on tumblr to be a rough draft (sorry about all the typos, y'all).

Only the shorter posts, usually the ones where I get all Ye Olde Crafte of the Wytche, are stream of consciousness style without editing. There is some kind of curse you get when you practice Traditional Witchcraft that you just start talking like that sometimes lol.

[captainwaynerigby]

Hello Captain Rigby

I have a question - why is it the GDF never seems to realise that having a single point of failure is a BAD PLAN?

There are lots of examples but I’m thinking most of the rescue RO.BOTS that in theory should have been a great asset to the world but for some lunatic reason were all controllable / reprogrammable to be evil from one poorly guarded suitcase.

WHAT WERE YOU THINKING??

- Concerned citizen

Here we go...

Hello Concerned Citizen,

The official line from the GDF is... things go wrong. You cannot plan for every unfortunate setback (unless you're International Rescue), but we here at the GDF do our best to limit mistakes from happening both in real-time and in the planning for future missions.

In our defence, the RO.BOTS failure was due to a progression of events that led to that unfortunate 'failure'. However, allow me to reassure you all that the GDF have a strict debriefing policy, which means that long reports are made detailing everything that went wrong (and what went right!) so as to avoid further accidents of a similar nature happening again in the future.

[drgertiefremontphd]

page 9

[cornedbeefhashtags]

Being the gay sibling right before Christmas is exhausting. What do you MEAN you’re watching videos at 12:21am on how to tie the perfect gift bow?

[phuljari]

social media au! part 6

summary : khushi is a model and influencer; arnav just seems to stumble upon her profile one day— not so much by accident. (or what if khushi fell in love at first sight?)

warnings : if you don't know already, i suck at updates. yes i mean it as a warning!

a/n : i am...trying something new (by using the word prompts) #IPK 13th Anniversary Fiesta @arshifiesta

Notifications (aakash_r)

payaliyaa followed you back

iMessage

Unknown: Khushi ji agar aap kal subah tak jawab nahi dengi toh hum ye pictures post kar denge

Unknown: Aur haan, humne aapke sabhi account hack kar liye hai toh sochna bhi mat

iMessage

Unknown: arnav stay right where you are

Arnav: ???? Who's this?

Unknown: khushi

Unknown: hum jiji ka phone use kar rahe hain

Unknown: someone's hacked my phone

Arnav: WTF?

Arnav: What about the picture you just sent?

Payal: 😭😭😭

Payal: tabhi toh keh rahe hain ki rukiye

Payal: can you ask someone from your IT team to sort this issue out?

Arnav: Let me check

Arnav: Also, turn off your phone

Payal: yes yes, already did

iMessage "Raizada" Group Manorama: Aakash bitwa Manorama: Hum tumhare liye miss tip-top chun liye hain Manorama: e dekho Manorama shared Lavanya Kashyap's Instagram profile

Manorama: Hum hi apna ID change karva lete hai HP se Manorama: divamanorama kaisan rahega? Manorama: hello hi bye bye, ekdum hi fantashtic sound karat hai naahi? Aakash: Maa, ye sab kya hai? Aakash: Maine kaha na aapse ki mujhe abhi shadi nahi karni Nani: Shaadi. Toh. Karni. Padegi. Aakash. BITWA Anjali: Are waah mamiji, ye toh badhiya choice hai aapki Anjali: Aur inhe toh Khushi ji bhi follow karti hai Anjali: Unse baat karein kya?

Anjali: Theek rahega Aakash: DIIIII Aakash: 😭😭😭

thekhushigupta

liked by divalavanya, hari_prakash, preetika123, saritaraman, nandiii and others

thekhushigupta tick tick tick gulabi aankhien ✨

view comments

hayerenandkishorekaahai HAYE RE NANDKISHORE E KAA HAI

hayerenandkishorekaahai LAGTA HAI POORI PHOTU DAALNA BHUL GAYI HAINN

hayerenandkishorekaahai AE SANKA DEVI

hayerenandkishorekaahai AADHE KAPDE THEEK THE PAR PHOTO TOH POORI SHAKAL KE SAATH DAALO

hayerenandkishorekaahai AAJ KAL KI LADKIYAN

preetika123 Darling, you're sparkling! ✨

saritaraman Is that the roberto cavalli dress a certain someone brought from a certain somewhere?

nandiii Beautiful Khushi ji!

user1 fishy

⤷user1 esp the caption

hellohibyebye phati sareeee! accha kiya post kardi! hum toh puchna hi bhool jate tumhein, e konsa shade lagayi ho lipshtik ka?

⤷hellohibyebye hum yaad karke oo naa le e he liye

⤷hellohibyebye bahutey bekaar laagat hai 😒

payaliyaa

liked by aakash_r, arnavsinghraizada, divalavanya, nandiii, anjaliiiii.r and others

payaliyaa ❗❗❗IMP NOTE: Hello everyone, as you may or may not know Khushi's account has been hacked recently. We request you all to cooperate till the situation is back in control. Please do not engage with any of Khushi's accounts on any social media until further notice. ❗❗❗

Love to all the 378M followers! Be careful of scammers and hackers out there!

view comments

divalavanya: Oh my god! please be careful, i just received a dm from this account asking me to transfer 25k because of some server issue and i had almost done it thinking that was khushi user1: is this a PR scheme by ardesignhouse? they've hired khushi for their new collection photoshoot and this will def create a buzz ⤷user2: I heard Khushi was supposed to work for Pro Fashion before she signed with AR ⤷user3: maybe pro ppl have some revenge plan up their sleeve? ⤷user1: it's possible. but let's wait to see what happens rather than jump to conclusions

user4: Hope Khushi is mentally safe and sound! This can be an extremely terrifying situation to have your private space infiltrated. Cyber crime is no joke,,, this is def not a PR scheme

user5: Should we block and report?

⤷payaliyaa No, it would be difficult to regain a lost account. We're working on the security, will update everyone soon

iMessage

Arnav: Khushi, try resetting your password from any other device

Payal: okay

Arnav: Shit

Payal: ???

Arnav: Well, that photo you sent me? Not so private any more

Payal: omgggg

Payal: hey devi maiyaaaa 😭😭😭

Arnav: Why are you so goofy even in tense situations lol😂

Payal: kya goofy? hum omg kar rahe hai hindi mein

Arnav: Uh okay. Didn't think you were a devout person

Payal: something new you learn everyday

Arnav: I guess

Payal: wait, is that a bad thing?

Arnav: We'll talk about that later

Arnav: Did you change the password?

Payal: i tried from my laptop but the verification goes to my phone

Payal: so i need to switch it on

Arnav: Okay

Payal: yes, i guess it works now

Arnav: Change your passwords everywhere and add two factor authentication

Payal: yes yes, thank u so much

Arnav: No problem! I'm leaving now but Aman will stay at the office overnight in case something happens

Arnav: A threat to you is a threat to us

Payal: you don't really need to...

Payal: oh ok, when you put it like that

Payal: but i swear it's just some insane stalker guy trying to get me to talk to him

Arnav: Nonetheless

payaliyaa

liked by arnavsinghraizada, aakash_r, divalavanya, thekhushigupta, hari_prakash, preetika123, saritaraman, nandiii and others

payaliyaa Cheers to khushi getting her account back (would've posted a pic with @/thekhushigupta but it seems like we don't click enough pictures together)

view comments

thekhushigupta: jiji hai toh sahi 😭😭😭

⤷thekhushigupta: bohot sariiii

⤷payaliyaa : jisme tum bilkul pagal lagti ho

⤷thekhushigupta: sach sach bolo jiji, tumhari photo acchi nahi aati

⤷payaliyaa : hum toh tumhe beizzati se bacha rahe the par agar tumhe manzoor ho toh karde post..?

divalavanya: Thank god everything is fine Khushi! I was damn worried about you yaar!

⤷thekhushigupta: girl 😩❤️😭

preetika123 omg wtf happened

⤷thekhushigupta bestieeee 😭😭😭😭

hayerenandkishorekaahai BAHUT E PYAARI LAGAT HAI HUMRI PAYALIYA

hayerenandkishorekaahai E LAMBE PYALE ME SE KAA PI RAHI HO BITIYA

nandiii Not bad Payal ji, not bad! Maybe aapko model banana chahiye tha

⤷ nandiii BTW so sorry about Khushi ji's online harassment :(

⤷thekhushigupta nanhe jii wo sab chodiye banana 🍌nahi ban-na kehte hai usee

⤷nandiii Oh sorry, sorry! Typo Khushi ji, maaf kar dijiye

aakash_r You're so beautiful Payal ji! 🙇‍♂️

⤷payaliyaa Thank you Aakash ji! 😌

arnavsinghraizada

liked by aakash_r, anjaliiiii.r, hari_prakash, hellohibyebye, mahendrarudrapratapsinghraizada, gulabo_devyani, payaliyaa, nandiii, laxmi.ji and others

arnavsinghraizada I have a knack for playing

view comments

aakash_r Bhai hope you enjoy your stay!

anjaliiiii.r Aree Waah! I'm so proud of you

user1 Sir, are you hiring?

gulabo_devyani Arnav + Khushi. BITIYA ENJOY

titaliya_k

liked by arnavsinghraizada, anjaliiiii.r, hari_prakash, aakash_r, gulabo_devyani, payaliyaa, divalavanya and others

titaliya_k much needed pampering

view comments

divalavanya My absolute fav! Hope you enjoy the little getaway we @/payaliyaa planned for you <3

⤷titaliya_k you have no idea la! you're the best <33

hari_prakash Didi PAMPERS OUT OF STOCK HAI

nandiii I bet you smell amazing Khushi ji!

⤷arnavsinghraizada She does, now back the fuck off

⤷nandiii nannav wtf

⤷titaliya_k omg calm down boys!

aakash_r Hope you enjoy the jalebis too Khushi ji!

⤷titaliya_k AAKASH JI😭😭😭😭tysm

Notifications (nandiii)

preetika123 followed you back

(1) new messages from preetika123

preetika123: Hey, you're NK right?

nandiii: Yes yes

nandiii: Nice to meet you pretti woman!

nandiii: Khushi ji has told me so much about you!

Notifications (aakash_r)

divalavanya started following you

(1) new messages from divalavanya

divalavanya: Hi

Notifications (payaliyaa)

abhishek_kumar started following you

(1) new messages from abhishek_kumar

abhishek_kumar: Hey

abhishek_kumar: Garima ji showed me your account

abhishek_kumar: Hope you don't mind

abhishek_kumar: Hope your parents mentioned me

iMessage

Khushi: hahahahahhahaha omggg

Khushi: look at these two goofballs

Khushi: aakash ji, payal ji, aakash ji, payal ji

Arnav: You know I'm sitting right besides you right?

Khushi: yesssssssssssss

Khushi: but it's easier to say things here

Arnav: Yeah?

Khushi: stop looking at me all flirty

Arnav: Your sister, my brother and your friend planned this one day getaway for us to "cool off"

Khushi: you're clearly doing the opposite

Arnav: Uh huh

Khushi: like how your fingers on that piano were driving me crazy

Khushi: the swiftness with which you played

Khushi: and those rolled up sleeves arnav, you're killing me 🫦

Arnav: Stop it

Khushi: what

Arnav: Stop biting your lip like that

Khushi: only one way to stop me

TBC

<previous> | <next>

[cocotome]

Interviews with the Lovebrush Chronicles men after the Harp Island Elite Conference.

[natjennie]

listening to adam's statement as someone who only really got attached to nrb after adam had left, so I'm not personally invested in the situation nor did I even really know what happened and I've gotta say. he really does seem just like. genuinely forthcoming. considerate to the other parties involved. disappointed, obviously, that such a personal conflict has to be made public in this way. but handling it with grace. I am one of the top straight white man haters in the country but besties. he seems fine.

[alicepao13]

One episode has been added to the list. Also the list has been completely rearranged since the last time I checked it. And because I'm a child, I opened all these and look! Treasure!

[wildsaltair]

I am standing at attention awaiting command, my general