captainwaynerigby

[captainwaynerigby]

We're... still attempting to apprehend the suspect doing great.

A heavily redacted report due to the confidentiality of the mission and not because we've been having a hard time completing it will be out in due course.

I’m out of the office for a real mission today, so I don’t want to come back to find any trouble has been caused, understood?

[captainwaynerigby]

. . . I don't get paid enough for this.

Right! @squidsinashirt, @thunderfledgeling? You're both on my personal watch list.

I’m out of the office for a real mission today, so I don’t want to come back to find any trouble has been caused, understood?

[captainwaynerigby]

... What were you expecting? A luxury, 5-star suite?!

I'm afraid, like with most companies these days, the loyalty membership doesn't actually give you anything substantial, other than the knowledge that you're often in present in our building(s) — in your case, the maximum security facilities.

Dear Captain Rigby,

How many times has the notorious criminal known as The Hood been taken into GDF custody?

And is he still there?

Pleasesayyespleasesayyes

Hello Anonymous Citizen,

I’m afraid the exact number of times The Hood has been taken into GDF custody is currently confidential. What I can tell you is he could take out a loyalty card.

As is his current whereabouts and that’s not because we don’t know where he is, promise.

One thing I will assure you of is criminals like The Hood will never succeed.

— Cpt. Rigby

[captainwaynerigby]

… No Yes.

I’m out of the office for a real mission today, so I don’t want to come back to find any trouble has been caused, understood?

[captainwaynerigby]

He sighs, realising his mistake all too late.

“I tried to have faith in them, O’Bannon. Remind me to never make that mistake again.”

I’m out of the office for a real mission today, so I don’t want to come back to find any trouble has been caused, understood?

[captainwaynerigby]

. . .

Somehow this is not comforting to know I have a fan in you for this, Tracy. It’s a very serious matter and it isn’t something to be watched like a sport. Especially if the bad guys give us the slip again. Dear Lord, that’d be embarrassing.

I’m out of the office for a real mission today, so I don’t want to come back to find any trouble has been caused, understood?

[captainwaynerigby]

I’m out of the office for a real mission today, so I don’t want to come back to find any trouble has been caused, understood?

[captainwaynerigby]

I have a question. About the phrase “GDF Intelligence Officer”. That seems a bit of an oxymoron. Just saying, y’know.

. . .

You said you had a question, Anonymous, but I don’t believe you actually asked me one.

If you were asking me whether the phrase GDF Intelligence Officer (which is actually my official job title, and is much more than a phrase, thank you very much) is, what you call, an oxymoron, then I’d have to reply in the negative.

I’m not sure what you were trying to imply but it is not an oxymoron. Definitely not.

— Cpt. Rigby

[captainwaynerigby]

Dear Captain Rigby,

How many times has the notorious criminal known as The Hood been taken into GDF custody?

And is he still there?

Pleasesayyespleasesayyes

Hello Anonymous Citizen,

I’m afraid the exact number of times The Hood has been taken into GDF custody is currently confidential. What I can tell you is he could take out a loyalty card.

As is his current whereabouts and that’s not because we don’t know where he is, promise.

One thing I will assure you of is criminals like The Hood will never succeed.

— Cpt. Rigby

[captainwaynerigby]

Hello Captain Rigby,

In your opinion, what is the one significant threat to world peace as we know it, and how do we combat this?

- a concerned citizen

Hello Concerned Citizen,

Whilst there are many threats we should be wary of, in my opinion one of the biggest and most common of these threats is the mass spreading of misinformation.

Thankfully it’s relatively easy to combat. Make sure you check your sources and provide critical analysis on anything you read or hear. Use your own judgement before willingly accepting something that could be misinforming you.

I believe that the truth will always prevail, but we have a duty to fight for it whenever and wherever we can.

Stay vigilant, Concerned Citizen.

— Cpt.Rigby

[captainwaynerigby]

Honestly, in comparison, the reports pale significantly in importance. Go save those seas! But, for official reasons...

I want those reports done and in my inbox no later than 24 hours after you've finished up, Tracy.

Hey hey,

So some slightly (very, excellent, big) good news that you might want to know - outcome of that meeting was that World Heritage want to go ahead with Guardian3 at [redacted for security purposes] and three other sites. I will be celebrating this later.

Slightly less good news - they want to do a site visit to the lab and confirm funding in person tonight, and do a bit of the publicity stuff so it’s ready to approve for their board meeting tomorrow am, and then plan for commencing installation next week.

What’s your diary like? I’m gonna run for a shower and pack a bag and grab a suit, and then hope the jet feels like a super fast run to New York. They’re coming from London so we have time.

- one slightly happy fish 🐠

I can absolutely come with you if you like?

And y’know we could forget the jet and take a properly fast conveyance to NY, get there in time for you to have a bit of a breather, visit the big fish tank to find your zen then head to the lab to carry out a two-pronged Tracy charm offensive?

Sorry @captainwaynerigby your report is gonna have to wait - we have seas to save 😁

[captainwaynerigby]

It's less about what she wants to read and more about keeping the files up to date in case the World Council come knocking. Reports can't be missing and they can't contain too many sarcastic quips either. Keep it professional, Tracy.

Hello Captain Rigby

I have a question - why is it the GDF never seems to realise that having a single point of failure is a BAD PLAN?

There are lots of examples but I’m thinking most of the rescue RO.BOTS that in theory should have been a great asset to the world but for some lunatic reason were all controllable / reprogrammable to be evil from one poorly guarded suitcase.

WHAT WERE YOU THINKING??

- Concerned citizen

Here we go...

Hello Concerned Citizen,

The official line from the GDF is... things go wrong. You cannot plan for every unfortunate setback (unless you're International Rescue), but we here at the GDF do our best to limit mistakes from happening both in real-time and in the planning for future missions.

In our defence, the RO.BOTS failure was due to a progression of events that led to that unfortunate 'failure'. However, allow me to reassure you all that the GDF have a strict debriefing policy, which means that long reports are made detailing everything that went wrong (and what went right!) so as to avoid further accidents of a similar nature happening again in the future.

[captainwaynerigby]

Speaking of reports, @scramjettracy, I believe you owe me at least two. Get one of them to me by the weekend and I'll let see if I can buy you some more time on the other one.

*shudders* will that nickname ever go away?

When you put it like that, @ilikebigshipsandicannotlie, it sounds bad (maybe because it is) but I assure you, the GDF are constantly working on ways to limit failings in the future.

Hello Captain Rigby

I have a question - why is it the GDF never seems to realise that having a single point of failure is a BAD PLAN?

There are lots of examples but I’m thinking most of the rescue RO.BOTS that in theory should have been a great asset to the world but for some lunatic reason were all controllable / reprogrammable to be evil from one poorly guarded suitcase.

WHAT WERE YOU THINKING??

- Concerned citizen

Here we go...

Hello Concerned Citizen,

The official line from the GDF is... things go wrong. You cannot plan for every unfortunate setback (unless you're International Rescue), but we here at the GDF do our best to limit mistakes from happening both in real-time and in the planning for future missions.

In our defence, the RO.BOTS failure was due to a progression of events that led to that unfortunate 'failure'. However, allow me to reassure you all that the GDF have a strict debriefing policy, which means that long reports are made detailing everything that went wrong (and what went right!) so as to avoid further accidents of a similar nature happening again in the future.

[captainwaynerigby]

Hello, Captain. Am I glad to see you! Blame Thank Colonel Casey. She's the one who wanted more GDF vigilance.

Good morning, citizens. I hope you're all behaving adequately.

[captainwaynerigby]

Hello Captain Rigby

I have a question - why is it the GDF never seems to realise that having a single point of failure is a BAD PLAN?

There are lots of examples but I’m thinking most of the rescue RO.BOTS that in theory should have been a great asset to the world but for some lunatic reason were all controllable / reprogrammable to be evil from one poorly guarded suitcase.

WHAT WERE YOU THINKING??

- Concerned citizen

Here we go...

Hello Concerned Citizen,

The official line from the GDF is... things go wrong. You cannot plan for every unfortunate setback (unless you're International Rescue), but we here at the GDF do our best to limit mistakes from happening both in real-time and in the planning for future missions.

In our defence, the RO.BOTS failure was due to a progression of events that led to that unfortunate 'failure'. However, allow me to reassure you all that the GDF have a strict debriefing policy, which means that long reports are made detailing everything that went wrong (and what went right!) so as to avoid further accidents of a similar nature happening again in the future.

[captainwaynerigby]

. . .

I'll be in my office.

Are the cats behaving adequately though?

[captainwaynerigby]

Your agile dodging of my question.

Good morning, citizens. I hope you're all behaving adequately.