#claude kellington

[heronchildlove]

I feel like we as a fandom really don't talk enough about the fact Matthew was literally kabedoned in TLH canon.

[rhiannons-bird]

[rinadragomir]

Saga of finding out Matthew's endgame love interest🔎 join the investigation!

Volume Ⅰ

➤Esme Hardcastle

I'm starting with chronological order. We know that she used to have a crush on Matthew during the "Academy era".

Nothing but shadows:

Matthew's friendship made other friends creep forward, too. Esme cornered James and told him how sorry she was that Mike was being an idiot. She also told him that she hoped James did not take this expression of friendly concern in a romantic way.

"I have rather a tendresse for Matthew Fairchild, actually," Esme added. "Please put in a good word for me there."

Unfortunately, we haven't seen any of her interactions with Matthew during TLH🤷🏼‍♀️ But who knows, maybe after he returns to London we'll get something?👀 Personally, I found this idea pretty interesting, Esme seems like an adorable and confident girl✨

Volume Ⅱ

➤Eugenia Lightwood

Listen, listen. First of all I should mention what @roseofthomas validly pointed out: Matthew is officially 17 in the beginning of Chain of Gold and Eugenia is 21. And I also would be against anything romantic between them if it stayed this way. But TLH plot covers an entire year. So in Chot epilogue Matthew is already 18. And he leaves London for at least one year. So when he comes back he's 19. So what we got is ~ 19/23. Which is not a huge gap and Matthew will be an adult. Everyone remembers Malec's age gap? Diana & Gwyn? Yeah...So everything I'm talking about below I say in the context of Matthew being 19. Deal?🌱🌿Deal🌸🪷

I reread every part where she's mentioned. And I can confirm that we didn't get any info on how Matthew sees Eugenia except "she's a good girl". We know that she's not exactly a part of "the gang", at least before Chain of Thorns. She had her own group with Catherine, Ari and Rosamund and Barbara. So it's unlikely that Matthew sees her as some older cousin like James does.

Interactions:

1. Thomas’s sister Eugenia had danced with Matthew, tossing her long dark hair.

2. It was Eugenia, who had come up to them, her yellow cap askew on her dark hair. “Never mind. I am not interested in your dull friends. Matthew, will you dance with me?” “Eugenia.” Matthew looked at her with a weary affection. “I am not in a dancing mood.” “Matthew.” Eugenia looked woebegone. “Piers keeps stepping on my feet, and Augustus is lurking about as if he wants a waltz, which I just can’t manage. One dance,” she wheedled. “You’re an excellent dancer, and I’d like to have a bit of fun.” Matthew looked long-suffering but allowed Eugenia to lead him out onto the floor.

✨Parallels✨

1) Eugenia was kinda "dating" Augustus Pounceby, who actually loved Catherine but still gave Eugenia an idea that they can work. Apparently he saw her as an "if I can't get Catherine, I can at least have Eugenia"

VS

Matthew was kinda "dating" Cordelia, who actually loved James but still gave Matthew hope for her affection. Apparently for Daisy it was "if I can't have James, I can at least be with him"

2) Eugenia leaves London after Augustus proposes to Catherine. She feels humiliated and wants to be away from Enclave to get some peace.

VS

Matthew leaves London after Cordelia breaks up with him and comes back to James. He wants to heal and doesn't really want to be around Jordelia for some time, cause he's still getting over Daisy.

3) Eugenia returns to London after a few months and acts pretty confidently. It's implying that she healed mentally in Idris and is ready to be back in action. She's slowly becoming a part of the gang but it still looks like she spends more time by herself.

VS

I believe that Matthew eventually returns after a year or so and I expect him to act pretty much the same. Like he feels healed, has more confidence in himself and is fine with being around kissing Jordelia. But he still feels a bit lonely (my theory)

--------------------------------------

My bestie @afloralrib mentioned that their relationship has "Penelope & Colin" vibes and has some valid parallels WHICH IS TRUE

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Volume Ⅲ

➤Claude Kellington

Exes, exes...like yeah BUT CASSIE said "no obvious love interest". And I believe that ex is someone who immediately comes to mind, so idk....and he broke his heart🥺. Still possible tho~

Volume Ⅳ

I remember someone mentioned Matthew/Grace but...I really don't think that it can work between them, even though he forgave her. So we'll just have to wait and see🌿🌱

����Epilogue𓇬

That's it, my researchers. Thank you for joining me in this pointless adventure 🫶 cause Cassie will probably say that his true love is Claribella and leave it be💅🏻

[lifewouldbebetteronmars]

Title from Death By A Thousand Cuts by Taylor Swift

*for context, Matthew was forcibly changed into a werewolf by Kellington

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Time, My Wine, My Spirit, My Trust

Matthew covered up all of the mirrors in his flat. Not that they really had any use to him anymore, not after he had smashed them all to pieces, broken glass shattered all over his carpet.

He’d been angry when he’d awoken a week ago, so, so uncontrollably angry. Like putting a red cape in front of a bull, angry.

He couldn’t control it, how angry he was, it had just come out of nowhere, completely blindsiding him.

Matthew was so angry that he destroyed everything in sight of him. He ripped up the paintings, destroyed the vases, ripped the pages out of his books.

But his mirrors, those had been the first thing to go.

He couldn’t even stand to look at himself anymore. His face was marred by bruises and scars, bite marks and scratches that slice through his once clear face. They made him look almost unrecognizable.

It wasn’t even his fault that he looked like this, not really.

It was the fault of one man and one man only: Claude Kellington.

A man he had once considered good, whom he had once trusted. He no longer thought either of those things about Kellington, he didn’t think he ever could again.

That man had ruined his life beyond repair by turning him into a monster. A monster who could no longer see his family, his friends, everybody that he cared about.

James and Cordelia had come by at first, trying to get him to open the door. Then his parents. Maybe Charles had, he didn’t know.

He couldn’t open the door, he couldn’t anymore.

Because Matthew was alone.

He was a werewolf now. A lone wolf without a pack.

Tonight was his first moon and he was terrified for the transformation to come. It would solidify his feelings of being a monster.

And he didn’t know if he would survive it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

🎶I’m dreaming of a white Angstmas🎶

🎶Just like the ones I used to know🎶

Tag List:

@have-a-holly-jolly-angstmas @littlx-songbxrd @tessherongraystairs @wagner-fell @i-die-for-alastair-carstairs @thelasthours-alastair @alastaircarstairsismybff @alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer @life-through-the-eyes-of @melanielocke

[marialightwood-chase]

list of all the romances of shadowhunters and downworlders

-wessa

-jessa

-Matthew and Claude Kellington

-Hypatia and Anna

-Luke and Jocelyn

-Malec

-Nerissa and Andrew

-Kierarkina

-idk if James and lucie count as downworlders but if they do, Jordelia and Ghostwriter

-Auraline and Roland Herondale

-Hazel and Kit (Assuming she was a Werewolf)

-Seelie Queen and Sebastian

-Ash and Dru

-Helen and Aline

I’ve probably missed some idk I’m running on 3 hrs of sleep rn

“I love you,” he said quietly.

“Don’t—” Alec said. “Don’t. It’s not fair. Besides—” He glanced away. “I doubt I’m the first one who ever broke your heart.”

“My heart’s been broken more times than the Clave’s Law about Shadowhunters not engaging in romances with Downworlders,” Magnus said, but his voice sounded brittle. “Alec … you’re right.”

Alec cut his eyes sideways. He didn’t think he’d ever seen the warlock look so vulnerable.

City of Heavenly Fire

[itsmorganahawkes]

𝖭𝖺𝗋𝗋𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗏𝖾𝗌 (#TRPN047) 　 𝟣𝟢𝟢 𝗍𝗂𝖼𝗄𝖾𝗍𝗌

Lovebug- jonas brothers.

Si fuese posible congelar el tiempo, Matthew estaría parpadeando con ligereza en el ambiente de aquella escena: Hell Ruelle, la noche estrellada, el aroma suave a licor y Cordelia en el escenario.

──Creo que yo podría hacerlo.──La voz de Cordelia fue un murmullo, pero era clara. Matthew y James se giraron al mismo tiempo, Cordelia asintió cuando Claude Kellington le indicó el escenario, el vestido que resaltaba su figura hizo que a él le diese un repentino vuelco en el corazón.

──Mierda, mierda.──Maldecía al lado de James, lo suficientemente bajo para que solo él escuchase. Habían lanzado a Cordelia a la boca del lobo en Hell Ruelle, jugó con los anillos en sus dedos, mascullando más improperios, la repentina urgencia del licor en sus venas, a pesar de su preocupación sabía que ella era perfectamente consciente de lo que estaba haciendo, aplaudió de manera queda cuando le observó subir al escenario.

──Honorables invitados, esta noche tenemos algo inusual. Una cazadora de sombras se ha ofrecido a entretenernos.──Dijo Claude.──Por favor, disfruten la presentación de la adorable Cordelia Carstairs, la cuál detuvo a Claude de bajar.

──De hecho, requiero que me acompañe... Con el violín.

Matthew rió entre dientes.

──Vaya, es lista.──No había una gota de sarcasmo, solamente impresión, la chica que hasta hace poco había llegado a Londres, ahora se encontraba bajo las luces y a los ojos de todos los submundos, Cordelia soltó su cabello y Matthew creyó que sus labios se entreabrieron por un instante, pareció perder el foco al observar la fuente cobriza cubrir su espalda, de repente sus brazos tomaron a Cortana, que yacía detrás de su espalda, cada luz en el Hell Ruelle parecía cobrar vida, encendiéndole en lánguidas llamas que acariciaron la superficie de su espada.

──Siempre he amado las historias. Una de mis favoritas es la de la chica sirviente de Tawwaddud.

Su voz entonces le sumergió en el mundo que había creado, nunca había pensado en los tonos anteriores que había lucido con ella, pero su narrativa era casi tan cautivante como su belleza en ese momento.

Belleza inusual.

Le había dicho hacía unos días, Matthew había atendido a suficientes shows como para saber qué consideraba bueno, malo, o incluso repelente, a su temprana edad, recorrer ese tipo de espacios era como un pasatiempo más, incluso cuando él podía hilar poesía de manera fortuita, nada, en realidad nada, le había preparado para ver lo que Cordelia estaba a punto de hacer.

De repente el sonido de violín resonó entre los presentes, y Cordelia comenzó a moverse: era un baile, pero no un baile. Se movía de manera fluida con Cortana, era dorado, y ella seguía ese hilo dorado como si estuviese de repente caminando entre flamas calientes de fuego: pero sin quemarse. Su voz melodiosa descendió hasta ser un murmullo.

“Oh my Lord, I am versed in syntax and poetry and jurisprudence and exegesis and philosophy. I am skilled in music and in the knowledge of the divine ordinances, and in arithmetic and geodesy and geometry and the fables of the ancients.”

Quiso salir de el trance de su danza, pero era imposible, como un tipo de hechizo, Matthew Fairchild comprendió cada palabra de los libros de poesía que recitaba con inmaculado esmero, entendió el porqué el mundo parecía detenerse cuando algo cambia por completo, no hallaba que hacer consigo en ese momento.

“I have studied the exact sciences, geometry and philosophy, and medicine and logic and rhetoric and composition.”

Maldita sea, pensó para sí mismo, su momentanea realización aceleró su corazón, al punto en que sintió sus palmas sudorosas. Él ni siquiera reparó en la forma en que James escrutaba a Cordelia, pero sentía cada una de sus emociones: se encontraba igual de cautivo. Cordelia, rompiendo cualquiera de sus inquietas súplicas, cayó de rodillas, blandió su espada al rededor de su cuerpo, destelló como cerrillos en una hoguera, mientras el violín seguía su curso.

“I can play the lute and know its gamut and notes and notation and the crescendo and diminuendo.”

Matthew contuvo el aliento, sus ojos verdes destallaban con cada frase que formulaba, había algo que no podía comprender cuando observaba esa escena, de repente él era Dorian Gray, observando a Cordelia ser Sybill, entiendo el porqué de su apresurada declaración de amor, el amor instanteo que surge cuando algo agita las fibras del corazón, pero no era un "flechazo" pasajero, desde que había tomado mano de Cordelia cuando James le abandonó por Grace en ese baile, supo que había algo más que una chica con una espada, Cordelia extralimitó sus posiciones, era inteligente, leal y sabía que estaría dispuesta a arriesgar todo por los que ama. En ese momento veía a través de Scheherezade, su epifanía cruzó por su corazón, nada de lo que sintiera por Cordelia era pasajero.

Su mirada se centró en Cordelia, al igual que el resto de audiencia, incluso Claude detuvo su melodía y cayó en el encanto de sus palabras. Se puso de pie, Cortana a su lado, la blandía como si fuese una extensión natural de su cuerpo.

“And wise men were brought from around the land to test Tawaddud, but she was wiser than them all. So wise and beautiful was she that in the end, the caliph granted her whatever it was she wanted— all the wishes of her heart.".

──Joder.──Murmuró él con admiración, apenas la pelirroja se acercó. Su voz era seria, no había un ápice de sarcasmo.──¿Qué fue eso?

──Un cuento de hadas. Bien hecho, Cordelia.

Matthew le dió una mirada rápida a James, su semblante había cambiado, pero él sabía que significaba mucho más que un cuento de hadas, y para él significaba mucho más que un simple "joder". Sus palabras formaban constelaciones al rededor del rostro de Cordelia, la cuál parecía aliviada cuando vio a los tres, y comenzó a trazar el plan sobre Hypathia Vex, estaban a punto de partir cuando observó a su hermano, Charles, irrumpir en medio de la nada en aquel lugar.

──Ustedes dos, vayan a esconderse. Charles perderá la cabeza si los ve aquí.

──¿Y tú? ──Murmuró Cordelia.

──Él está acostumbrado a esperar este tipo de cosas sobre mí, lidiaré con él.

James le observó, su mirada preocupada se comunicó con él sin palabras, pero él sabía perfectamente que podría manejarlo, por ahora solo importaba la seguridad de Cordelia. Vió la cabellera de Cordelia desaparecer, tomada de la mano de alguien por el cual estaba dispuesto a dar su vida sin pensarlo, su agape, la otra parte de sí mismo. Su corazón latía fuerte, toda su vida se había ocultado bajo los efectos del alcohol, creía que mataría aquella tragedia que traía consigo, se apoyaba de las palabras de todos los poetas o escritores, porque le ayudaban a estar vivo: a sentirse humano de nuevo, pero aquella noche, su cerebro -que rara vez tenía la quietud de la sobriedad- se encontró llegando a la conclusión que quiso empujar lejos.

Se había enamorado de Cordelia Carstairs.

Y ahora no había modo de dar vuelta atrás.

[heronchild-haven]

I love the energy in this scene.

[queenhelenblackthorn]

I just genuinely think that Matthew isn't really in love with Cordelia, he's just pursuing something that he knows is impossible and will end in heartbreak, like with Lucie and Kellington.

[sourlemons262]

Thanks for answering me! I’m so glad that you generally agree with me, that makes my next argument a lot easier haha.

I am also yearning for an arc with Matthew where he chooses to retire/leave being a shadowhunter and live like Jessa is today (i.e. still connected to the Shadow World but not actively working in it). The reason is because he’s always had a connection with art and media since he was a child, and he frequently talks about Shadowhunters being dull company, about his love for new technology and innovations by mundanes, about how he loves traveling and seeing the world.

So, if he were to leave being a shadowhunter, what would he want to be instead?

Now, confession time: the idea I had for his path was heavily influenced by the show The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, which is also what my fanfic is inspired off of. However, I believe that I can justify absolutely why he would be wonderful in the career I envision for him in the mundane world. I’ve learned a lot about the career in mind through the show, so I believe it honestly would be a perfect fit for Matthew. So strap in for my argument!

Now, most people rightfully like the idea of Matthew making it big and famous as an actor, and this makes a lot of sense to me. He’s outgoing, theatrical, such a drama queen, and there’s even textual evidence of him saying that he’d be a great actor. For instance, in regards to his feelings for Cordelia, he tells her in Chain of Iron: “I suppose I should be pleased that I have been a good actor. Perhaps when inevitably I am tossed out of the Clave for some future misdeed, I will find a new success upon the stage.”

However, I feel like this reading of his potential life as a “mundane” is quite surface-level and reductionary of all his character traits. Yes, Matthew is dramatic, but he is also extremely kind, charismatic, loyal, good with people, and loves all form of art. Many people seem to forget that he’s someone who enjoys art through many mediums like poetry, literature, singing, dancing, acting, performance in general—as he says to Kellington in Chain of Iron: “Claude, I am crucial to your entertainments. I am that irreplaceable thing, the eager audience.” Yes, Matthew loves being the center of attention, but he’s never really expressed a desire to be a performer on a stage. He has no instrumental or vocal talent, and he’s not a writer, painter, dancer, of filmmaker, but he does seem to enjoy all of these things

I don’t believe Matthew needs to be on a stage; rather, Matthew uses the entire world as his own stage (and I mean that in a good way!). The way he interacts with folks and how he experiences life tells me that he wouldn’t be satisfied simply being an actor on a stage or behind a camera. Instead, he’d want to pursue some sort of career that could allow him to utilize all his strengths, something that would let him be involved in all forms of entertainment.

And, thus, I present to you: Matthew Fairchild, World-Renowned Trailblazing Talent Agent.

Now, if you are not familiar with what a talent agent does, they basically manage the careers of entertainers. They’re usually the ones who see a diamond-in-the-rough performing at some club and give them their big break. They make the deals with the people who want to book their clients. And their clients can be anything entertainment-related: acrobats, actors on stage and behind the camera, singers, comedians, dancers, etc. They have to be charismatic, talkative, likable, and, most importantly, loyal to their clients.

Now, tell me Matthew Fairchild wouldn’t be the perfect talent agent! He would absolutely fight tooth and nail for every single one of his clients, taking on people who have real talent that could’ve have gone unrealized. As films become more commercialized and the world has movie stars, Matthew’s name would be thrown around the entertainment world as a a top manager for many A-list entertainers. He would get fame, notoriety, and a true sense of fulfillment through his career if he became a talent manager. Plus, imagine how ruthless he’d be with the Smile in his arsenal!

Clearly, I’ve rambled about this for way too long, but that’s pretty much my argument. I could write up more reasons if you’d like, but I feel like I’ve made my point. And, if anyone is interested in seeing Matthew possibly going down this arc…read my fanfiction, Every Saint Has a Past, Every Sinner Has a Future (ESES), which you could find pinned at the top of my blog.

Once again, thanks for answering my question, @ibrushmyteeth-donttellanyone! Sorry for the insanely long reply! 🙈

As the resident Matthew Fairchild Expert™️, I was wondering what your thoughts were on the headcanon many people had that Matthew would have his marks stripped or turn into a Downworlder… did you like the headcanon or no? And, on a related note, I thought I could share my unpopular opinion about Matthew and see if you might agree: I’d actually think it would be a great final ending for Matthew if he eventually gave up being a Shadowhunter and pursued some sort of career in entertainment (basically similar to Jem and Tessa rn), where he’s not isolated from his friends and family but he’s finally able to be free from whatever constructs hold him back. I actually have a huge argument for this opinion lol but I don’t wanna bore you so pls lmk if you’re interested to hear 👀

So, I actually had mixed feelings on those headcanons. To explain why, I'm going to address your second question first.

There were two roads that I was hoping Matthew's story might go down. The first was exactly what we got: he conquers his addiction, bridges the gap he's created between himself and his loved ones, makes the decision to place himself in a better situation, and then we get a novella bindup about him finding love in the future.

The second road, which I liked just as much in a different way, is the scenario you've described. He gets his marks stripped and thrown out of the Clave, and it hurts for a while. But eventually his loved ones do reconnect with him regardless of the Law (he is Charlotte's son after all), and he makes it big in the entertainment industry. Like, he becomes a big-name, world-renowned actor, and the world loves him and he gets to live out his initial dream or putting some light into the world with his art. We get a novella bindup about him showing what it means for a Shadowhunter to readjust to life as a mundane.

So, yes. I really like the storyline that you described. I thought it would be especially interesting if Matthew actively enjoyed being a mundane after the fact - Shadowhunters can, after all, be a "stuffy lot." I wanted his ending to be happy and hopeful, but I also thought that he actively would come to enjoy this lifestyle once he realised that there were endless possibilities open to him. It would be an interesting and bittersweet ending.

It would be even more amazing to see him give it up willingly in a sort of Jem/Tessa scenario. I think this is a route I would have adored because it would mean that he made the choice of his own accord. A part of me, now that I am thinking of it, is sort of yearning for it.

That being said, I would not sacrifice the ending we got for this possibility. I would have been happy either way, but I really like how his happy ending was breaking off from the London set and traveling so he could find himself and take the reins on his own life. It's a story that currently is very near and dear to me because I'm in sort of a similar situation to him in various capacities. We're travelers, adventurers, and we're going to look forward into that part of our lives together. I wouldn't want to change that, and I think it's another odd way that I have grown with and still am growing with Matthew Fairchild.

As for the Downworlder theory, I have mixed feelings on it. It's not something I actively wanted, though I thought that there were ways that Cassie could make it a satisfying conclusion. I would not want to see Matthew forced into being a Downworlder, especially if it meant that he became immortal against his will. The only way I would have liked it is if Matthew actively chose to become a Downworlder to pursue his bohemian values and lifestyle. I'm intrigued by the possibility of a Shadowhunter who would want to be a Downworlder or who would embrace it, and that would have been interesting to see. But upon reflection, I don't think that ever could have been Matthew's story. I would have ultimately wished that we went down one of the two routes described above and felt unsatisfied with it.

Thanks for the ask! I always love to talk about my main man, lol.

[heronchildlove]

can I request a sort of canon-compliant abandoning-of-all-hope Matthew who would rather never become involved sexually/romantically with someone again if he can't be with James? Maybe a little older, and a little wiser, lamenting his missed chance?

Nonnie, nonnie come here, your MIND nonnie, ahhhh this was such a good prompt, I love making Matthew suffer 😈 (he is my fave, can you all tell?). Hope you like it!

~~**~~

The doors of the Ruelle welcomed him like an old friend, as they always did. He might not drink anymore, haven't done so in years, but that wasn't the only vice the Ruelle offered.

In many ways, this had been his first vice. A devil-like grin, a smooth voice, a hand offering his first drink, a hot mouth offering his first kiss, his first everything. Not a member of the orchestra then, just an assistant, but already just as arrogant. Matthew still envied, sometimes, his easy self-confidence. His own was still a work in progress.

A glance showed him the stage was empty and an antsy unease settled over him. If he wasn't there, he would have to take his chances on someone in the crowd, and he had learned early what a Russian roulette that was.

His thoughts were cut short by a hand encircling his waist and a sharp kiss to the back of his neck. A smooth voice taunted next to his ear:

"Miss me already, Fairchild?"

He didn't. Not really. He missed, as he always did, a certain other brunette, with hair the colour of night and eyes the colour of gold. His other half that had always known him better than himself, even when Matthew tried to push him away. An other half that had been happily married in his house on Curzon street for years, that left an ever-present hole on his heart and soul. A chasm in the shape of James Herondale.

Matthew had been trying for years to fill that hole with another shape, even the one of James' own wife, but it was useless. After the excitement died down, after a few weeks or days or hours, the hole came back even more powerful than before.

Eventually, he had stopped seeking any others but one. Even in his roughly acquired sober clarity, he didn't like dwelling too much on why this was. Maybe it was their history. Kellington had been his first: kiss, lover, disappointment, heartbreak, vice. He didn't know exactly how not to seek him out, how not to come when he called. Maybe he would always be bad at resisting things that would kill him, and in the absence of alcohol he had clung to Kellington all the more.

But now even that was failing him. The past few times hadn't brought him the usual relief of forgetting, the usual bandage over the hole. He didn't want to think too much about it, even now he still hated to be left alone with his thoughts, didn't like dwelling on anything for too long. Melancholy didn't suit him, but sometimes it was all he had left.

He didn't want to think about why recently Kellington's voice made him shiver with disgust instead of excitement, why his arm around his waist made him want to crawl out of his skin instead of pulling him close. So instead he just smiled.

"Parts of you, I would say. The best ones."

"All my parts are the best parts."

"Hmm, but some have better parts than yours."

Matthew found his world spinning, his back hitting the wall, Kellington's arms caging him on both sides.

"Oh yeah? Whose?"

He used to love this: the jealousy, the possessiveness. Even after they had broken up, Kellington still treated him as his, and he used to love feeling like at least someone in this world wanted him, claimed him, unlike a certain other someone.

Now it just made him want to scream.

He got reminded, suddenly, of another time when Kellington's arm was over him on the wall. It was one of the only times he had ever told him no, and over the only reason why: James. It was the night of his bachelor party, he had come to drop Cordelia off, and Kellington had tried to take him to one of their usual back rooms, but James was waiting and that was the most important thing. Kellington had been furious then, which used to eat at Matthew like rot on iron. He didn't think he would mind if Kellington got angry at him now.

"I met a mermaid with hair made of gold, I apologise but not even your silky locks can compete with that."

Kellington looked taken aback for a moment and then laughed.

"Glad to see you still know your place, Fairchild."

His place, right beneath Kellington's boot. He had always been allowed to float around and sleep with whomever he wanted, as long as he always came back. Even the thing with Cordelia - another childish, desperate attempt to rid him of his true feelings - had cost him nothing more than a few weeks of taunting. After all, he had come back defeated in the end anyway, as he always did.

"How could I ever forget?" Matthew taunted back, and pulled Kellington close by his lapels, ending all chance of talking with a kiss. But even this, once again, didn't bring him glorious relief, it only felt wrong and disappointing.

Even without wanting to, he was reminded of the scene a couple of weeks ago, of James kissing Cordelia passionately, like she was his whole world and sun. Because she was. She had just announced to him, to them - because he was so important to them she wanted him there, too - that she was pregnant, and Matthew had to smile as the last nail was pushed down on his coffin.

Ever since then, this disgust with Kellington had started - the poisoning of his last hope -, but he was refusing to think about it, as he did with many many things. If he started thinking too deeply about these things, the craving for a drink started burning inside of him, so he didn't think, and pulled Kellington harder against him instead.

Kellington walked him backwards, blindly, down the hallway - but Matthew didn't need to look, they had crossed this same path so many times it was engraved on his body -, until they reached the door to one of the many private rooms in the Ruelle, and Matthew let himself fall as Kellington pushed him down on his favourite couch. It was a deep green, and he always said the colour suited Matthew.

Matthew had had two coats made of this same colour to wear to the Ruelle, but now he felt the insane urge to cut them to shreds, and the couch, too.

Kellington's hands on him that usually excited him on the first touch now felt like spiders crawling on his skin. These were not the hands he wanted, had never been, and now he seemed unable to ignore it anymore.

Through all the years, there was only one pair of hands, one touch of lips, one voice in his ear that he had ever wanted: James's.

He had been in love with James for so long he didn't know how to separate it from who he fundamentally was anymore. As long as James Herondale existed, Matthew Fairchild loved him, it was one of the cornerstones of his existence. Even if either of them ceased to exist, the particles that made up who Matthew was would love him until the end of the universe, and most likely even after that.

He was so tired of pretending he didn't, but what did that matter? He would have to pretend and keep pretending for the rest of his life, this was a truth he would never be able to admit except from in the darkest most hidden corners of his soul, and often not even then.

He was so tired of kissing strangers and pretending they were him, he was so tired of kissing Kellington to forget even for a moment he was not the one he wanted to be kissing. He was so tired of it all.

So he did something he had never wanted before: he pushed Kellington away.

The other growled. "What?"

"I... I..." Matthew's head was spinning. It was his own fault he was stuck in this never-ending nightmare, so maybe he didn't deserve to break free of it. If he had had the courage to tell James how he really felt instead of asking him to be his parabatai, if he had been more present, if he had been able to break him free from Grace's curse before Cordelia ever came along, if he, if he-

But he hadn't. And now all hope was lost forever. James and Cordelia would have a child, they were the happiest they had ever been in their lives, and Matthew would be more and more cast aside to nothing near them, always looking from outside into their happiness, never again part of what truly meant more to James. Cut off from even the crumbs he had had before.

A sob broke free from his throat and he pushed Kellington away fully, getting up from the couch and running away from the room, ignoring the other's callings and threats behind him. He ran through the streets until he didn't know where he was anymore and threw himself down on a patch of grass on a small square near him, arm over his eyes shielding him from the prying stars. He had left his coat behind and his clothes were in disarray, barely protecting him from the chilly air, but he didn't care.

He had to admit, once and for all, there was truly only one person for him. From the start, his only vice had always been and would always be only James, the only vice he would never be able to indulge in. And if he couldn't have him, what did it matter everyone and everything else?

He would always be stuck exactly in this same place. An insect frozen forever in the eternal amber of James' eyes. But there really was no other place where he would rather be, so he might as well just give up once and for all.

He would be just like Oscar, forever begging for scraps at the table of James' love, and perhaps - just as sometimes he took pity on Oscar and gave him some food from his plate - James would sometimes take pity on him, too.

That would have to be enough.

[beyondtheciouds]

“A lie that is half-truth is the darkest of all lies.” ― Alfred Tennyson

[rinadragomir]

"I see you brought Fairchild," Kellington added. "Convince him to be more entertaining, will you? He never dances. "Claude, I am crucial to your entertainments," Matthew said. "I am that irreplaceable thing, the eager audience."

@stxr-thxif As I promised ❤

[ohnotoomanyfandoms]

I like the way you analyze, so I'd like to ask you a more general question: what do you think will happen to Matthew's character? (in general, not only in relation to Cordelia, it seems that people can't think of anything else, and the THOUGHT OF THE RELATIONSHIP WITH JAMES RUINED FOR A GIRL makes me terribly angry and saddened) I don’t see it well, I find credible the theory about the marks stripped, and I fear we may not even see him in the continuation of the saga. Excuse my bad English

Thank you for the kind words and the question! Your English isn’t bad at all <3 Here are my thoughts on Matthew’s future. 

I think he will hit rock bottom in Chain of Iron, because of a multitude of reasons. The last straw might be that something terrible happens because Matthew is drunk: someone might be injured (which is heavily foreshadowed by Lucie in chapter 12 of Chain of Gold), they might lose an important object, forfeit an important mission, or worse. I hope James will finally see fit to intervene and ask Matthew to straight-up tell him what’s wrong. He tried in ChOG, but he wasn’t persistent enough, and Math definitely wasn’t ready to talk just yet. 

But I think once Mathew confesses his “original sin” to Cordelia (I am 100% sure he will tell her first), his heart will be lighter and he will be able to confess it to other people too: his parabatai, hopefully even his parents. I hope Charlotte reassures him they will always love him instead of being mad for something he inadvertently caused years ago. Matthew always thought his act was unforgivable. If his mother and father show him forgiveness, love and devotion instead, it might be enough for him to finally start moving on. I hope this - and not some lady’s kisses, whoever she might be - sets Matthew on a path of self-love and amelioration. 

Things will not be okay for a while yet, and Matthew will always have to live with what he did. He might always hate a part of himself, but hopefully he stops with the self-destructive behavior. He can keep up the bohemien attitude that we all love and keep having fun with Anna and Magnus and the Hell Ruelle. He just needs to stop putting himself at risk and he needs to take himself seriously. 

Ship-wise, you all know what I think, so I’m not going to really break it down here. I don’t think he and Cordelia will happen romantically. I joke on Twitter that he will have a fling with Filomena, but that’s mostly a jape because many of us Italian Shadowhunters are totally self-inserting. I hope that in the future maybe Matthew and Lucie could have a chance once they’re more mature. Apart from all this, he will have at least one more (brief?) love interest before the end of TLH. We know that Kellington is the one who broke his heart a while back. We may see that passion rekindle, or Math could meet someone gentler, which I sincerely hope is the case. 

However, I do think Matthew’s future is not with the Nephilim. Time and time again he has commented on how he hates violence and their people’s ways. He only really stayed so far because he grew up in a loving (and prominent) family and because of his friends, because he clings to them. In COI, he will begin distancing himself: this starts with him going to live on his own (thus physically walking away from his family) without telling his friends until he’s all moved out (as we’ve seen in a snippet), getting a car... he is looking for some concrete, tangible sense of independence. But this also means he will spend more time alone, and loneliness does not do him good.  

Matthew has said on multiple occasions he would prefer to be a mundane, to live of art rather than war. I do think he will either choose self-exile in the end, or even - more drastically - be stripped of his marks (even though I sincerely hope this doesn’t come to pass, and he would need to commit a BIG crime for the Consul’s son to receive this treatment). Maybe that’s the only way for him to truly find peace: to walk away from all the violence and destruction and never look back. I am aware that right now it seems absurd that he would ever willingly part from James, but we don’t know what’s in store for them. We do also have to take into account the hypothesis that Matthew may die young. 

On the other hand, I’ve heard there are brilliant theories of how Matthew might become a Downworlder too - also fitting since he’s so close with so many of them, and unusually so considering the times. Some say he might become a werewolf, some say a vampire, which would be so ironic considering his quote about wanting Dorian Gray’s immortality and staying young and beautiful forever. If that is the case, however fitting it may sound, we have to realize that since we haven’t met Matthew in books that are set in the future, he may have perished anyway. Or maybe, if that ends up being the case, Cassie just came up with this ending recently so there are no mentions or easter eggs of it anywhere else. 

This is all speculation. This is what I think/hope will happen. I’m in no way saying it should or it will, it’s my personal opinion drawn after attentive analysis. Whatever happens, I hope my baby Matthew gets the love and peace he deserves. I hope he lives a long life of his choosing. 

At the end of the day, whatever happens, keep this in mind: his arc and his development need to be about himself before they can be about anything or anyone else. External events may shake him, but Matthew’s biggest enemy at this point in the trilogy is himself. He needs to win an internal struggle before he can truly be a participant in the game. It won’t happen in the span of three chapters. It will be a gradual process, but I have faith. He can overcome his inner demons so he can join his friends in fighting the literal ones out there in the world.

“We do not get to choose when in our lives we feel pain. It comes when it comes, and we try to remember, even though we cannot imagine a day when it will release its hold on us, that all pain fades. All misery passes. Humanity is drawn to light, not darkness.”

[malecinelysium]

Matthew as a character was inspired by Sebastian Flyte, right? 🤔

[kit-herondale-blackthorn]

is it just me or is cassie trying to tell us sth by mentioning kellington in reponse to an ask that was partly about matthew?? my biggest eye emoji ever

While I don’t think there was any hidden meaning behing that ask, I have a feeling that the reason we’ll see more of Kellington in ChoI is because of Matthew. I feel like something already happened between them before Chain of Gold:

Maybe they used to have a casual thing which Matthew will go back to in order to forget about Cordelia?

[dayscrazed]

Chain of Iron Countdown- Hamilton Parodies

Every day until COI release day, March 2nd, I will be posting a new Hamilton parody based on the characters from The Last Hours book series.

16 Days: WHAT’D I MISS? Thomas= Jefferson 15 Days: MY SHOT  James= Hamilton, Thomas= Lafayette, Christopher= Mulligan, Matthew= Larens, Charles= Aaron Burr 14 Days: HELPLESS Cordelia= Eliza, James= Hamilton 13 Days: RIGHT HAND MAN Will= Washington 12 Days: THE SCHUYLER SISTERS (GIRL SHADOW HUNTERS) Cordelia= Angelica, Anna= Eliza, Lucie=Peggy

Inspired by: Chain of Gold p. 202- “Cordelia wants to be a hero,” said Anna. “One cannot do that by staying home and stitching samplers.”

[Hypatia Vex:] There's nothing Shadowhunters love more Than going downtown and slummin' it with the poor They pull up in their carriages and gawk At the warlocks in the club Just to watch them talk Take the London Institute: the place is loaded Uh-oh, but little do they know that Shadowhunters, Lucie, Cordelia, Anna Sneak into the city just to watch all the guys at

[Company:] Work, work! [Cordelia:] Cordelia! [Company:] Work, work! [Anna:] Anna! [Lucie:] And Lucie! [Company:] Work, work! Girl Shadow Hunters! [Cordelia:] Cordelia! [Lucie:] Lucie!! [Anna:] Anna!

[Company:] Work!

[Lucie:] Daddy said to be home by sundown [Cordelia:] Your daddy doesn't need to know [Lucie:] Daddy said not to go downtown [Anna:] Like I said, you're free to go [Cordelia:] But look around, look around The revolution's happening in London [Anna/Lucie:] London [Company:] Cordelia! [Shadowhunters and company:] Work!

[Lucie:] It's bad enough demons wants to go to war [Anna:] People shouting in the square [Lucie:] It's bad enough there'll be violence on our shore [Cordelia:] New ideas in the air [Cordelia and Male Ensemble:] Look around, look around [Anna:] Cordelia, remind me what we're looking for… [All men:] She's lookin' for me!

[Cordelia (Company):] Anna, I'm lookin' for a mind at work (Work, work!) I'm lookin' for a mind at work! (Work, work!) I'm lookin' for a mind at work! (Work, work!) Whooaaaaa![Anna/Cordelia/Lucie:] Whooaaaaa! Work!

[Kellington:] Wooh! There's nothin' like summer in the city Someone in a rush next to someone lookin' pretty Excuse me, miss, I know it's not funny But your perfume smells like your daddy's got money Why you slummin' in Ruelle in your fancy heels You searching for an urchin who can give you ideals? [Cordelia:] Claude, you disgust me [Kellington:] Ah, so you've discussed me I'm a werewolf, baby, you can trust me!

[Cordelia:] I've been reading Layla and Majnun a-gain So men say that I'm intense or I'm insane You want a revolution? I want a revelation So listen to my declaration: [Anna/Cordelia/Lucie:] "We hold these truths to be self-evident That all men are created equal" [Cordelia:] And when I meet the Clave members [Company:] Unh! [Cordelia:] I'mma compel him to include women in the sequel! [Women:] Work!

[Anna:] Look around, look around at how Lucky we are to be alive right now! [Anna/Lucie:] Look around, look around at how Lucky we are to be alive right now! [[Anna/Cordelia/Lucie:] History is happening here in London and we just happen to be In the greatest city in the world! [Shadowhunters and Company:] In the greatest city in the world!

[Cordelia (Anna/Lucie) {men}:] 'Cause I've been reading Layla and Majnun a-gain (Look around, look around) {Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!} So men say that I'm intense or I'm insane (The revolution's happening in) {Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!} [Cordelia (Anna/Lucie)) {women}:] You want a revolution? I want a revelation (London! In London!) {Look around, look around the revolution's happening} So listen to my declaration: [Cordelia/Anna/Lucie (Women Ensemble):] We hold these truths to be self evident that all men are created equal (Look around, look around) Whoo! (At how lucky we are to be alive right now) [Full Company:] Look around, look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now! History is happening here in London and we just happen to be [All women:] In the greatest city in the world [All men:] In the greatest city [Company:] In the greatest city in the world![

Company:] Work, work! [Cordelia:] Cordelia! [Company:] Work, work! [Anna:] Anna! [Lucie:] And Lucie! [Company:] Work, work! Girl Shadow Hunters! [Company:] Work, work! [Cordelia/Anna/Lucie (Company):] We're looking for a mind at work! (Work, work!) Hey! (Work, work!) Hey! (Work, work!) [Anna/Lucie {Cordelia} (Company):] Hey! (Work, work!) {Whoa!} (Work, work!) (Work, work!) In the greatest city (Work, work!) {In the greatest} City in the world {City in the world} [Company:] In the greatest city in the world!