#clap if u bad
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maybe i should finally post the 11 paragraph long verse meta i made for xvi last summer
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I'm always pushing you away from me / but you come back with gravity / and when I call, you come home
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro#itafushi#fanart#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers#jjk leaks#yuuji#megumi#deleted scene gege told me#god im not over 266 i will never ever ever be over 266#im so incredibly unwell abt them i cant believe this is the timeline we live in#itafushi friday....itafushi everyday.....#decided 2 forgo my usual miku and broke out the emo playlist fr this one . breaking my own heart :3#how many itfs embraces do i need to draw until i successfully manifest it in canon#gege i beg i plead pls let them H U G#they r so traumatized they r so touch starved pls hug pls contact pls Holds/Is Hold#anyway if megumi's height is inconsistent no it isn't <3 if he looks like 2 completely different ages no he doesnt <33#......kids r Hard guys gomen i tried my best#honestly it's probably not even that bad i think its the arm angle in the first one thts throwing me#i had to play around w it so much that i think im just tired of looking at it#megumi voice whatever !!!!!#thats not important the important thing is Itafushi Hug#and i do believe i met my quota in that regard#also yes my pen pressure Is still dying thank u fr asking but i did this fr them Anyway pls clap
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2024 Chinese Grand Prix | Qualifying
#formula 1#f1#lily he#lily muni he#muni he#myedit#*gif#*f1#the coloring on this was HARD everyone clap pls#this is a bad time to post for notes but idc. beddy time#muni#lily i hope u LOVE ttpd
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Does anyone else feel like Aylinluna was horribly out of character this episode?? I've heard that apparently some things were cut, so that might be the reason but it still felt weird. Like ur telling me Luna, who has literally been so respectful of Aylin's boundaries literally even last episode, is suddenly forcing her to go out of her comfort zone?? Okay, fine, I understand the concept of wanting ur gf to get along with ur friends, but ur telling me Luna wouldn't stand up for Aylin when someone is clearly getting in her face and making her uncomfortable?? That she would call her an ALIEN??!!!
#look how they massacred my boy#everyone clap that i even spelled that word#god idk today's ep just felt off in general#ongsasun the only saving grace#also let me tell u#u can rlly tell they r lesbians#the only other gmmtv show I've watched was bad buddy#and each step for those boys was like pulling teeth#these two r like doing a speedrun compared to that#they went confess ✅ start dating ✅ kiss ✅ have sex ✅#am i allowed to say sex on tumblr???#also that's what happened right dhsh#imagine if the towel just fell#next ep starts and its ongsa like OH FUCK SORRY#anyway back to aylinluna#the fuck is up with ton#i have such mixed feelings abt that man#sometimes he's a himbo and slay and all#but sometimes he acts like he has the brain of a toddler#earlier episodes luna would've slapped him !!#like what do u mean everyone is like U OKAY after he just accosted not one but two girls#ugh idk#i just dont like how they seem to be going the route of: im ur gf so im gonna baby u#come psppss come socialize silly#LEAVE LUNA ALONE SHE WOULDN'T#also am i crazy but like Aylin's interacted with those ppl before#maybe not ton and mawin but everyone is acting as if she hadn't been making strides in social interaction already#23.5#23.5 the series#aylinluna
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Big fan of the old-timey prick
#i need him to make me his doormat#hazbin hotel#alastor#hazbin art#hazbin spoilers#episode 5... when i get u episode 5#im perma stunlocked (shadowbanned) on twt so pls... tumblr dont fail me ples#i need alastor to literally kill me#my art#small art account#fanart#hazbin alastor#what other tags do ppl use#are tags even relevant on tumblr or is it just a false promise like on other social media hellscapes#i did each alastor on one layer pls clap#god i need him so bad like ik hes aroace i dont need him sexually if he did so little as insult me id
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dentist update: my mouth is actually in WAY better shape than i thought considering i basically didn't brush my teeth at all last year and haven't had a cleaning or regular dental care in 12 years. there's one molar that's not salvageable and another that probably needs a root canal but i honestly expected to lose both bc they've been rotting in my mouth for. Months. and other than that i literally only need like 3 fillings. ✌️
#yes it is embarrassing to have let my care lapse so bad that i'm losing a tooth over it BUT everyone cheer and clap that i'm fucking#finally taking care of it. in a few months i'll have all this shit taken care of and basically be starting fresh with a clean non-decaying#mouth. yay.#also everyone say thank u medicaid for covering 100% of the cost bc if it didnt these teeth would continue rotting until i had an#inevitable horrific emergency about it.#autoimmune tag#tangentially.
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I want to befriend Kaneki and meet with him and email him forever
#we should do everything together everything should be parallel play#and then when we go our separate ways at the end of the day I want to still email him things#like pictures of succulents and a glimpse under the amazon river#I want to email him pbs eons videos#I can show him coffee shop vlogs and ask “is this u”#in person I’d mostly let him do the talking and decide what to do#take me down the most intimidating alley on a whim after you said we were just buying lunch pls#I want to eat lunch with him so bad 😭😭😭🙏#it’d be kind of awkward though bc he wouldn’t be eating anything he’d just be sipping his coffee#being with Kaneki is the ultimate dream I wanna see his morning irritation I want to be pleasantly startled by him with his quiet footsteps#& get to ask him about what he’s reading#or how his training is going#or whatever he’s doing#I would ask him how he’d rate vacuuming out of 10 and if he gives it below a 5 will vacuum his house#I feel like he’d lie though and say he likes doing every kind of work just to stop others from doing it#unless he wasn’t in a state where he’s able to actively think about others like that#he should stop doing things and jsut relax imagine taking him on a nice tour trip up mount Fuji that would b nice#stay in a cabin make a snowman clap for him when he skis#he was so good at skiing in the TG calendar?!?? who taught him to ski#did he read “idiots guide to skiing” a day before and absorb all the knowledge like a sponge#he’s so smart. I wish I was smart. or at least smart in an applicable way#I want to try harder but I kind of can’t#or I get sort of frozen by something and can’t find a way forward unless I scurry around it (no one wants u to do this)#I love Kaneki he’s both literally and kind of metaphorically half human and I am too so if we combine we’ll have the power of one full human#we can be human if we stand close enough together#idk he might not want to stand next to me tho he has better options#kaneki time
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so i was shooting the shit with the girlies in the group chat earlier and we were talking about the great outdoors, which, of course, are great to everyone...EXCEPT JERSEYKYLE who is basically a spoiled brat and pampered house cat and the only thing he thinks would be great about the outdoors...is if one of them would Fucking OPEN and take him back inside to civilization, cable tv and air conditioning.
like i think in the future when j.k. is working his full-time guidance counsellor job ( mr. bro, you are everything to me, baby ) they coerce him ( probably with pastries, paid vacation time and peer pressure ) into chaperoning the 5th grade weekend overnight camping fieldtrip, which ravenstanley marsh, of course, tells him is a great idea and it’d be fun to be out in the forest....It Was NAUGHT.
i am picturing him in like the big puffy orange jacket and like the grown up version of the green ushanka/ear muffs, shivering, snifflin, shrieking, crying about bears or red, blotchy, completely sunburned, totally bugging about bugs, tear-gassing everything with insecticide,
ready to End It All...
meanwhile future ravenstan, who i like to think went back to school, minored in wildlife, became an badass emergency travel veterinarian, is constantly on the move and on location ( and by that i mean like srsly impoverished third world countries, the amazon rainforest, rural new zealand where they desperately need vets, australia with all the shit that can fkn Kill You, buttfuck -40 siberia saving the polar bears )
working with non-profit wildlife protection and conservation efforts, has a little squad of hyper-vigilant zoomanitarian search and rescue emergency animal doctors that specifically head to dangerous places doing intense emt roadside surgeries, goth boy apothecary hot boy shit, foraging for supplies, making life-saving medicine out of tiny mushrooms and pieces of tree bark, running through fields with possible landmines in it to save endangered species, going full emo indistana jones adventuring and saving the world as captain stanet in no mans land w/ all his tattoos and piercings ( hero KING! )
...just pointing and laughing at teacher yersey when he finally gets thirty min of service on the helicopter flying out of snake island, brazil having nearly escaped having his flesh melted off by pit vipers doing important smart boy science research on different poisons and his fiancé calls him bc he got a bug bite and he thinks he's Cooked.
live laugh love ravesey style, everybody.
#nina speaks#i finally did my makeup after a month and feel human again#please clap lmao#BUT LIKE I AM OBSESSED WITH THEM THEYRE SO FUNNY#jerseykyle cannot be outside i am so serious he will die out there he needs to be coddled in several blankets#and complained that whole trip worse than the kids#and they had cabins and bathrooms and everything help#like ravenstan is out here in botswana swining from vines and shit deep in ravines making torniquettes out of branches#being a badass motherfucking enviornmental dora the explora ass bitch saving the WORLD!!! I LOVE YOU RAE#he does spend his summers with kyle and does local emt stuff so they can hang out bc it gets lonely out there#but no jk is so pathetic i love him so bad rs is like baby its just a mosquito you will live i promise#also dont get mad but they are emergency flying me out to a hospital because an extremely poisonous snake bit me#LIKE JUST NBD DONT WORRY ABT IT BESITOS MI AMOR#i am telling u that dating stan marsh prepared him THOROUGHLY for working with children who dont listen#and do stupid ass stuff and get hurt and make bad choices#LISTEN HES SAVING THE WORLD!!!! HUSH!!!#also his calves do look incredible u have to know this
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ohhh you think the barbie movie is just a giant commercial. you think it has little to no important commentary and should be written off along with *checks notes* every other project to ever come out made by women that centers women that isn’t an absolutely perfect depiction of intersectional anti capitalist feminism. should we throw a party. should we invite ben shapiro
#abby talks#barbie 2023#y’all are pissing me off on here too i doubt every fucking communist on here just doesn’t watch movies#u probably watch old ass fucking robert de nitro movies or some shit and thirst over that old man. don’t pretend u don’t occasionally fall#into the system for the sake of your own fun and enjoyment. and maybe fuck off!#not everyone who enjoyed the movie is an idiot who can’t possibly comprehend larger more complex discussions#let me rephrase to include everyone no matter ur beliefs i’m sure ur happy to giggle at a breaking bad meme. to hehe haha at the succession#boys. to giggle and clap ur hands over it’s always sunny or fucking whatever. u catch my drift. or maybe you’re an mcr fan who thirsts after#also everyone who watches barbie suoildnt have to excuse that with I Promise I Can Think Too#that’s repacked misogyny. and also children are probably watching this#and having fun
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I’m realizing now that my da world state is just. wow tragic romance huh
#hawke is special tho#gods most beloved (in a bad way) gets to live happily w his wife Isabella#rip to Zevran I’m so sorry darling#dimitri I only feel kinda sorry for u bud like. you made the choice to pine#and then get nothing out of it#did dimitri and solas have feelings for each other? yes v much so#neither of them did anything about it tho#the doomed unfulfilled romance between them……ough#anyway Dimitri also has a world state w bull which is less of tragic romance#maybe the real middle aged yaoi was the two of them all along#I still find them v compelling there is a little clapping monkey in the back of my head that will never fully die#owen talks dragon age#I still have zero thoughts about rook#well I have a vague faction idea but. there are rocks between my ears#still a bit too ff14 pilled to think of a new oc#rotates the eyrie still rotates the eyrie still rotates the eyrie still
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study of a painting by my grandma <3
#.img#art#sorry for the increased artposting lately u KNOW itll settle down quick#anyway she always said she couldnt draw which is so funny. because we have so many paintings by her. come on lady.#study#please clap#i felt. kind of bad just copying someone elses art but im choosing 2 think of this as a sweet family thing. agree with me.
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#I’m obsessed with this song so bad#the album is a collab btwn steady holiday and dr. dog#but it literally only has 150 monthly listeners on Spotify#this song only has 2000 total streams!????!?#i fucking love this shit RECOMMENDED LISTENINGGGGG#I actually found this like 6 yrs ago after I saw steady holiday open for clap your hands say yeah and looked her up#and then I turned this shit on and I was like DR DOG???????#is that u#(it was)#music#or maybe I found it thru Wikipedia??? now I don’t know#but I swear to god I remember having a dr dog is that you moment
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okay hi tips for executive dysfunction
so like. ive found with executive dysfunction the way u need to approach it isnt WHY CANT I JUST SIT AND WORK oh my god can i please just do this please okay we're going to do it okay? okay please please like no that doesnt work. brute forcing it is only gonna make ur brain push back 10x as hard.
executive dysfunction stems from understimulation. the little toddler that lives in ur brain is having a tantrum because its bored and the only thing to calm it down okay you see isnt yelling at it you gotta give it a lollipop. and by that i mean providing stimulation.
the things that work for me might not work for you but its a start. when im trying to do homework, some things that give me more stimulation are:
- playing loud, fast repetitive songs on loop. picking a single song with like a strong beat and looping it gives me something in the background for the toddler to play with without being distracting. i can send you my list of songs that work for me if you want to try them. all those study tips that are like. ohhh only play lyricless songs are LYING the toddler does NOT like that. the toddler wants loud music. the toddler needs a strong rhythm.
- chewing on gum. chewing on something gives me something to distract me and the sweetness of the gum is also helpful.
- if i cant work, going and exercising or going on a walk like taking a mental break can help me calm down and refocus. i know its annoying to hear "just exercise more!!" as a tip but this is more about the mental break than anything. getting away from ur work area gives some variety. take the toddler outside and let it touch grass.
- also having something with caffeine can help.... caffeine is a stimulant and when i drink coffee it like. it doesn't actually make me energetic but it does help me focus a bit... if u dont like coffee, some kinds of tea are caffeinated and theres energy drinks too.. also eating sugary things i find can help some.
- overall be gentle with the toddler in your brain.. find ways to give it stimulation bc the more background stimulation you have the easier it will be to focus. hope this helps june 💗💗💗
also ive been there where ive had massive breakdowns and i feel like i cant even cry anymore.. for that ive found it helps to listen to emo music loudly in my headphones and write bad vent poems. classic emo teen behavior im AWARE but it does help. you have to lean into it lol. also like. go to sleep, take care of yourself, make sure you eat drink water and shower... truly it makes it better if youre well rested and well fed and dont feel like a sticky greaseball. anyways. i hope some of this helps and i hope things get better soon.
!!!
#THANKIES i will try the music thing i never really tjought abt being understimulated#unfortunately caffeine doesnt do much for me <//3#but the other things yes#^.^#btw i got my bio summative infographic thing done everyone clap for me#BUT YEAH thnk u.... i love writing bad vent poetry#inbox
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media that's like "here's the end, it's still pretty fucking awful isn't it!" is my favorite its the only thing that can fix me i love it it's my weird little chew toy i break teeth on
#no good bad neutral endings just the feeling of 'ahh.. what the fuck.. Yeah.'#and this video essay points it out abt bloodborne and what makes it so comforting and yea!! its my little comfort game!!!#and all the npcs u meet along the way is the source of belonging#the doll clapping when u gesture for her!! but nonetheless this is a world u will perish in#.jrnl
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Journal entry from a Riften bunkhouse
~850 words Rated G
Here’s a little snippet from a BIG WIP— i’ve been working on it for almost a year, and this is the FIRST thing I’ve published! 😬 Some of it (like this part) is in the form of journal entries. The whole story spans both Second Era and Fourth Era timelines, and features both the Dragonborn and the Vestige of Coldharbour.
This, though, is neither of them—it’s one of the main characters (OC), a Khajiit from the Second Era (less than a decade after the epic year of 2E 582). He’s in his 30s and from Riverhold, which means he’s lived through the Knahaten flu and two Imperial occupations of his home city. He will someday become the first Khajiiti Arch-Mage of the College of Winterhold, and this is an excerpt from his journal as he makes his way to Winterhold for the first time, to enroll in the College.
Please enjoy, feedback welcome! I could use the encouragement!
——-
Tonight, we are staying at a dingy bunkhouse in Riften. I was, quite unexpectedly, unsuccessful in my attempt at seduction a few days ago, but Vihk was still kind enough to invite me to the tavern with him and some of the others from the caravan. I think he was only being polite, and anyway I was feeling quite restless, so I spent the evening wandering the docks and streets in thought. I had heard the guard here harasses wanderers, especially at night, but correctly guessed that account was from someone who is not of my stature or impressively sleek clawfulness. The worst I got was one “keep moving, cat.”
I do not know how long it has been since I have felt motivated, curious, and excited to learn, but today, when I talked to those mages in the caravan, I remembered: this one is also a mage, and has been ever since he asked his mother if he could learn the clan-magic along with his little sisters. Is this not something Araszha once loved about himself—his intellectual curiosity? To feel it again only made me despair for how long it had been gone, and how little I had even noticed its absence. But to catch a glimmer of it… I wanted to cling to it and chase after it. Not in the joyful way, though, in the urgent and desperate way; clawing at strings. A motivation so flimsy it almost feels shameful.
Still… perhaps it is preferable to my prior plans.
A few days ago in Ska’vyn, I noticed a very handsome, very snobbish-looking Dunmer who was traveling with a caravan to Winterhold, and I saw that Riften was one of the stops the caravan would make. Although I had been idly considering traveling to Riften for a while, I only knew two things about the city: it has a reputation for looking the other way on many unsavory activities, and it is very far away from Riverhold in Ne Quin-al. An ideal destination, yes? I told the caravan driver I was going to Winterhold, and paid for passage, planning to charm my way into a lovely evening (or a few) with a deliciously condescending Dunmeri dandy.
Perhaps in Riften Araszha-dar would be too drunk to wake up in time for the departure to Winterhold, and be left behind—the caravan driver would already have been paid; no skin off his frozen nose. The only people who might notice a missing cat would be aforementioned Dunmer snob (who would doubtless be glad not to have to avoid eye contact with his most recent less-than-wise decision), and other members of the caravan. All of whom would be unsurprised that the slick and shifty Liar-dar they had met was as unreliable as he was insufferable, and perhaps be mildly relieved to be free of such a cat, if they felt anything at all.
Riften’s seedy reputation seems well-earned—one could easily get oneself into misfortune here. It would be easy for someone—perhaps even someone taller and more furry than most Nords—to go missing, especially at night. In fact, I feel one could easily go missing in such a way that, for example, anyone who might be trailing or threatening them would be delayed for days or weeks, trying to get any sort of definitive answer as to their whereabouts or condition. Otherwise, no one would notice or care, especially if one’s very appearance suggested a lecherous thief to most of the city’s inhabitants—a dozen other identical criminal pests come through here every week, probably. I imagine Riften is more accustomed than most cities to seeing occasional bodies fished out of the water, or removed from a dimly-lit alley, or a cheap inn bed. Likewise, the people of Riften are probably more accustomed than most to avoiding the everyday undead—hollow-eyed skooma eaters, beggars, gamblers, drunks. Which is to say: it seems easy to become a ghost here, and whether one becomes a literal or figurative ghost matters to no one, ghost included.
Even if, say, one’s family worried for them, even if one’s lovingly tenacious family tracked down their last known location, Riften would shrug with bleak disinterest—why would it matter if a given degenerate ends up face-down in a grimy skooma den, in chains en route to a Morrowind plantation, or at the bottom of the lake? In any case, they are gone. And for the sort of people whose lives end here, one way or another, that is a blessing to them and everyone else—even the people who fish bodies out of lakes and skooma dens get some work out of the deal. My wandering tonight confirmed: Riften seems to be exactly what I was looking for, when I decided a few days ago that it was finally time to make my way here.
I am back in my bunk, but of course I cannot sleep. Isn’t it strange, to think that Mother first told me about the College of Winterhold over twenty years ago? It is stranger still to know that tomorrow, I will be able tell her I have finally arrived!
#tesblr#eso#tes fanfiction#college of winterhold#khajiit oc#pls clap#apparently people hate first-person perspective? and also believe khajiit can’t be intellectuals? that is too bad for you and you are wrong#lordt i hope this makes sense#i heard u like noir detective monologues?? people like those right?
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me: god I really need to work on volunteering my time that I Do Not Have and then being surprised when I have less time to do other things I Still Need To Do.
me: crazy how that keeps happening, I don't know how-
me, looks down at the message I've typed while running on autopilot and was about to send:
me: fuck
#SHIT! BALLS EVEN!!!#Charlie I am So sorry about the bugs. but also maybe I should stop offering to help debug things when I physically Do Not Have Time#to be helping you debug#rattles my walls. but what if I can simply use half my day today to help with the bugs and then just do all the other stuff!! later tonight#at 7 pm!! 8pm even!!!!! (no!!! no!! this is bad self control talking!!!!)#anyway its FINE its fine god. im going to have a meeting with pratheek and then I can coord with mat and I will Focus On That Project#instead of trying to fix all the bugs in my proximity that Charlie is focusing on#hashtag prioritization#I have faith in his ability to get things done in time for the bug bash but do I feel like I should be doing more. maybe.#is that an instinct I have to clobber over the fucking head in the interest of Literally Doing Anything correctly u FUCKIN BET#its ux bugs in their tool at this point its like if I was watching a plumber do something and was like. hmm. I should help. and then I#take a wrench and go. hm well I don't actually know what the fuck is happening. and also im late for my actual job in this hypothetical#anyway i didnt send the message. everyone clap.
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