#citadelart

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𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐂𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐧

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I still haven't let go of my previous hyperfixations... not in totality anyway. Here's some more Roman Sanders angst as is on brand for me! I'll explain more under the cut as well as provide some other shots that better display the metallic ink I used in this piece.

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This is both part of an AU that I've been building in my head for a long while now - like I said, hyperfixation - which I'll link here & here. It's also just part of a wider expansion I've been doing, trying to add new skills to my very stale skillset. While this is technically made with a particular fandom in mind I also designed it specifically to be able to stand alone as well, connecting to other projects I'm working on.

As a side note I'm fairly certain a my projects are interconnected. I can't seem to help it; I get an idea for one thing and then my brain spins it five million different directions and all of them are too interesting to pass up!

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A friend brought to my attention that some of my art pieces work really nicely with the Malevolent podcast, and now I can't unsee it.

Anyway, I hope some of y'all enjoy these cause I love working with metallic markers - it sparks so much joy.

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Janus Sanders sketch that I might never finish. 🥲 Please enjoy!

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More Roman Sanders because I'm still caught in the merciless grip of my own headcanons.

Please feel free to comment, DM, or communicate in general. Hell, I'll reply to smoke signals if I see them.

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Restarting my journal from scratch after losing my old one in the move. It's taken me a long time to come back around after losing my first, but I think I'm finally ready to start again.

The art piece I drew here is referenced from The Last Day of Pompeii by Karl Bryullov.

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Loceit doodles today while I'm finishing up a bigger piece (if I ever get around to fully finishing it-).

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“My spine is soft like wax near the flame of the candle. I dream; I dream.” - Virginia Woolf, The Waves

《《 Alternate versions without the gold ink/bowler hat are available below! 》》

Can anyone guess which TSS character I'm about to write an essay for next?

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Just a couple Homestuck pieces while I'm learning how to use my markers. It's a learning curve for sure, but so much fun. Anyway, have a stray set of Striders.

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Some roceit for the soul. I've been kind of in love with this ship for a minute now but it seems hard to find others who love it too.

Anyway, here's a quick sketch done in ballpoint pen and Hethron color markers-

Feel free to comment, message, etc... I usually reply in a day or two the most!

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"Secrets, secrets are no fun..."

I've been reading a lot of ff lately about Pride!Roman, and I honestly can't help but feel like there's so much that could be explored here. If you want some messy au headcanons, read below!

The concept of Roman "falling" to the dark side is as fascinating to me as the idea of Roman re-fusing with Remus. I like the idea that Roman would try to hide that he's falling from the others, and it's his own pride keeping him from asking for help or talking about how he's feeling with the others too.

I’ve come to a conclusion: being C!Thomas’s ego while also being his creativity must be really hard. The way I think about it, ego is a necessary trait for any individual. Creativity is too, but it’s actually not nearly as essential as the ego. Now where Thomas is concerned I have a whole mini dissertation regarding how Thomas’s ego and creativity ended up all tangled together, but it boils down to one major point. Thomas, as an artist, conflates his ego with his art because the degree to which he values his art makes it a point of pride for him, and therefore makes him more sensitive to others criticizing it. 

Without going too much into all that (for this post, anyway) let’s talk about why ego being a more essential function than creativity is important. I think the best way to explain is to give an alternate example. If we look at Logan for example, and if we subscribe to the idea that Logan is not just Thomas’s logic but also his curiosity we can see that there’s a clear divide between a primary function (logic) and a secondary function (curiosity). If Logan were to suddenly reverse which function he paid primary attention to then Thomas’s mindscape would be a mess. Curiosity in the driver’s seat with logic riding in the back? Unlikely to work out well.

But in a way, that’s exactly what Roman is doing and I think it might be caused by multiple factors. I think Roman’s main function is supposed to be ego, not creativity. Creativity is needed for every individual but not every individual is a creative person. Someone different may have their ego connected with their curiosity/drive to learn, while others might combine their ego with their empathy - it would most likely depend on what sub-function feeds that individual’s ego. The secondary function is meant to act as a support for the primary function (Logic & curiosity, morality & emotions/empathy, fight or flight & anxiety, self preservation & deceit, “dark” creativity & intrusive thoughts). 

Roman is treating creativity like it’s the primary function, and there are a couple main reasons this could be. One is that because Roman was split from the original creativity, who may have also encompassed the ego, he was very confused after being yanked in half and simply didn’t realize he had obtained the ego until later (and if you didn’t notice it, can it really be that important?). Another is that ego is often associated with pride, and pride is not considered a “good” thing to have. Most people have a very negative connotation of pride. You say someone’s a “proud” person and it means they’re stubborn, you say someone is prideful and it means they’re arrogant. 

Patton, our morality, is clearly put on a pedestal by Roman as seen in the most recent videos, and Roman feels like he knows that Patton would disapprove if he were to show his more egotistical side. The thing is, ego is just how a person perceives themselves when you put it in simple terms. Ego at its healthiest is a sense of self-respect. Go too far in one direction and yes, you’ll get arrogance. My concern lies in going too far the other direction, because in an effort to be “good” for Patton and the others, Roman is starving his ego instead, which can cause major self confidence issues going forward.

Honestly, I think maybe a cool option would be if Roman could somehow give a large portion of his hand in creativity to Remus. I talked before in my other post about how sometimes it feels like Remus doesn’t have a proper “helpful” function for Thomas and that could be due to only being half a side. When Roman and Remus split it seems like the split may have been uneven, and in fact the dark creativity be sequestered to one person might be what’s causing the intrusive thoughts - they might very well be Remus’s, not Thomas’s.

Giving Remus a larger portion of creativity from Roman would mean that his ideas wouldn’t always be unusable, gross, or illegal. He might be able to actually help Roman brainstorm without being distracted by the constant chatter in his own head! Likewise, having less creative function would make it easier for Roman to focus on being Thomas’s ego and working on what’s best for Thomas’s self-respect and self-image. It might also make sense that with responsibilities shifting, perhaps intrusive thoughts could be co-handled by Remus and Virgil both. Functions working together just seems like it would be more efficient.

This is already long so let me add a few more off-the-cuff things to my headcanons/aus list:

Virgil’s main function is fight or flight, not anxiety. Anxiety was just the most “noticeable” thing about him, and so the other functions (and Thomas) labeled him the best way they knew how at the time. They never started calling him fight or flight because they had already been calling him anxiety for so long, and because it doesn’t have the same ring to it. The same goes for Janus with his primary trait being self preservation and secondary being deceit. 

In this particular au where I’m making it canon that Roman’s main trait is ego and not creativity, when all the responsibilities shift it changes Remus’s functions from dark creativity & intrusive thoughts to ingenuity & resilience. No particular reason, I just want nice things for Remus. 

Anyway, what if a dark side is just a demonized side? Which is why when Roman becomes ego or pride for a lot of people he becomes “dark.” It’s a perception thing.

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"How many centuries deep is your wound?"

"Twelve or so deep, I'd say. It's a long story. This is a long dream."

So I've been listening to a lot of waltzes lately. Waltzes are my favorite type of classical piece, and it's been really easy to just fall into a rythym when I draw while listening to it recently.

I've also been writing my own folktales and folk-inspired stories for a few years now, and this is one of the characters I thought up all those years ago. Anyway, if you've ever made a world before, I'd love to hear about it. I'm also always taking music recommendations and I listen to everything (including other languages, screaming, opera, country, rap, etc...).

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Soooo this is an Attack on Titan fanart I did of Historia for a friend's Ymir/Historia au. I went nuts with the colors but that's kind of been my signature lately it seems.

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𝐓 𝐎 𝐆 𝐀 𝐇 𝐈 𝐌 𝐈 𝐊 𝐎 • {𝐬𝐤𝐞𝐭𝐜𝐡}

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Thanks for sticking around this long if you're still here! I'm always open for a chat, headcanoning, etc... so please don't be afraid to message me. Let me know if there's anything else you guys would want to see in my art style too - half my problem is an inability to think of what I want to draw myself.

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Just a little Remus sketch to try to kick my migraine's ass. Hopefully his chaotic energy brings me strength 💪

Anyway, you can just reblog/like for the art if you want, but I've been looking for TSS bloggers who like to headcanon and discuss/dissect characters & relationship dynamics. Feel free to DM, shoot me an ask or comment on this post (in tags or with actual comment).

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To anyone who gets a notification they're being followed by a random user they don't recognize shortly after liking/reblogging my writing or art...

Hi, that's me. That's my main account. ( @neptunes-afterstories )

Welcome to my side blog - for my art, my writing, and reblogging posts that inspire me towards my projects. My tags are #citadelart, #citadelwrites, #citadelasks, and #citadelspeaks!

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A quick Logan ballpoint pen sketch since I missed Logan Sanders appreciation day! I can't wait until I get the hang of drawing them more fully 😌

Cross posted on my Twitter here.