#cis women understand that trans men are not the enemy and hating manhood as an entire vast gender is gonna harm trans ppl

[bisexualfagdyke]

so many bisexuals who are rad/fems 🤢🤢

[ventbloglite]

The sad thing is - I think it's actually very terribly easy if you're trans femme to believe that trans masc people are out to get you.

We've been raised on 'woman vs man' all of our lives. We've all internalised it as sacred truth.

Why disbelieve it now? Even as trans people it's so very difficult to not see 'woman' and 'man' as directly opposites with no overlap, natural enemies with 'men' as the villain (because there must be a villain, right?). Doing so is so much easier than actually wrapping your mind around and thus trying to dismantle the many systems which exist to enforce the patriarchy and it's narrow definition of 'acceptable manhood' to boot.

And it's not like feminists have never or don't understand that there's many little systems that need to be tackled. We fight for gender neutrality in job titles 'fire fighter not fireman' for example even though it seems petty because we understand that man=default is one of those systems. This is before we even get to the glass ceiling, pay gap, the misogyny of many medical systems etc.

It's just that for many it's easier to see all men as equally privleged and evil and therefore unable to have any issues, so surely faking it for attention or to speak over women if they do.

There used to be such a thing as 'mens liberation'. This involved undoing the misogynistic beliefs men had grown up with and tackling toxic masculinity etc. Basically trying to create healthier, happier and more informed men who would happily defend a feminist cause because they realise the cause benefits all.

It is the direct opposite of 'MRAs' who seek to believe much like radfems that the 'opposite sex' is the root cause of all of their suffering and should be completely wiped out or placed under subservience at best without actually (again) looking at or trying to grasp the many systems of oppression with exist and how to genuinely tackle the issues they're facing.

MRAs = animal rights/PETA types if that helps MensLib = animal welfare (actually caring about animals)

But in that same way trans masc (and even a good amount of trans femme and trans neu people who understand transandrophobia) who speak about the oppression they face FROM CIS PEOPLE AND CISNORMATIVE SOCIETY (with maybe a sprinkling of lamentation about lack of intercommunity support or specific things a specific trans femme has said which isn't any more ok than any trans masc being openly transmisogynistic) are 'animal welfare' types. They know what they're going through and just want a word to describe it.

But like I said, it's so easy, I know, as a trans femme to just believe when people tell you that this is another wave of men oppressing you. That they must be the same as MRAs because men are inherently privleged. That these anons claiming to be trans mascs targetting trans women for hate must be actual trans mascs because ofc men hate women, even though it could be literally anyone on anon including troll shit-stirrers.

It's honestly not a blameable offence to believe it when it's all we've known and been told. Men hate women, so obviously trans men hate trans women, right?

Cishet men are privleged, so obviously all kinds of men are privileged, right?

The hard part is going to be undoing that. Men and women are not opposites. Trans men and trans women are not opposites. We are not enemies with trans neu people being forced to pick sides or stay away and be called ignorant. It's not fun or good to relish in the suffering of another group, and it's not feminist to think that somebodies gender automatically gives them x, y or z negative traits.

[askgothamshitty]

Is gender abolition possible? Like at least in the sense that biological sex (chromosomes, penis, vagina, all that) exclusively is the only thing that is relevant in identity. Because everytime I see a terf talk about it, it sounds less like an actual course of action with goals and milestones and more like a fictional hypothetical utopia where trans people don't exist.

The way terfs outline it seems more surrounded by its hostility to the existence of trans people rather than something that would benefit all of society.

Idk, maybe I'm just a doomer but the concept of gender feels so much more significantly larger than us and i feel like we're going no where by harassing trans people (the people who are the most vulnerable and affected by this) and not addressing the people who are truly in power and who control it the most (cishet men)

You are right about your observations of the TERF framework of gender abolition. It is reactionary, idealist, and transphobic.

In their view, sex and gender are separate, with the former representing some “real” biological reality and the latter representing some “fake” cultural concept. They believe sex provides the real truth about manhood and womanhood, and that trans people have deluded us all into being preoccupied with gender. In their ideal post-gender world (which they never elaborate on how we get there), trans people would not exist, only cis people would. Everyone’s manhood or womanhood would be determined at birth by the observation of external genitalia. They believe this regime with liberate women, despite all of the actual radical feminist literature that identifies it as the same age-old system patriarchy has used (Dworkin talks about this in Woman Hating).

This is partly how they try to frame their ideology as revolutionary and feminist, instead of hateful and reactionary like every other right-winger. It gives them an excuse to paint trans existence as regressive and therefore the enemy.

Fortunately, their framework of gender abolition isn’t the only one that exists. There are and have been many feminist and queer activists who understand the social construction of sex and use that to develop an actually revolutionary theory of gender abolition. Check out this article by Jules Gleeson to learn about the history of this strain: https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/jules-joanne-gleeson-the-call-for-gender-abolition-from-materialist-lesbianism-to-gay-communism

[lycandrophile]

a lot of people aren't going to want to hear this, but if you actually want trans men to stop "playing up" our assigned sex/"female socialization" or "walking back" on our manhood in conversations, here's what you need to do:

accept that it is possible for men (yes, 100%-men-and-nothing-but-men) to experience gendered oppression, including misogyny. accept that it is entirely possible for captial-m Men to have a lifetime worth of experiences with misogyny. accept that it is possible for men to be not just hurt by but systemically oppressed under the patriarchy. accept that being oppressed for one's gender does not require any proximity to womanhood. accept that it is possible for men to experience the things you call "women's issues". stop calling the misogyny specifically directed at us "misdirected". stop acting like our manhood somehow cancels out the oppression we've experienced. stop considering yourself more of an authority on our oppression than we are just because we're men and you're not. stop supporting activist spaces that expect men to "shut up and listen and be good allies" while everyone else task about their oppression. stop simplifying the complexities of gendered oppression to "man = privileged, woman = oppressed". you would distance yourself from your identity too if people used it to gaslight and silence you about your lived experiences.

stop acting like being a man makes someone somehow "less trans" or "less queer". learn how to view all trans people as equally trans and equally part of the community. unlearn your tendency to view manhood and masculinity as inherently less queer than other gender expressions. stop talking about how trans men are "the weakest link" or making "jokes" about how much worse we are than other people in the community or blaming us for all of its problems. stop acting like being men means we have less of a right than other trans people to speak on what it's like to be trans. you would distance yourself from your identity too if you knew that doing so would mean being more accepted by the community you rely on.

deconstruct your belief that cis manhood is the gold standard of manhood. stop telling trans men that it's transphobic for them to assert that their experience of manhood might be different from that of a cis man. stop trying to pressure trans men into never acknowledging how their transness makes their experience of manhood unique by accusing them of "misgendering themselves" or "saying trans men aren't real men". accept that trans men are not cis men and never will be cis men and are still 100% very real men anyway because cis manhood is only one type of manhood. understand that if you hear "trans men are different from cis men" and think that means "trans men aren't men", you're the one who's actually saying cis men are the only real men. you would distance yourself from your identity too if people said that claiming that identity required being exactly the same as a group you're not a part of.

get yourself a personality that isn't just talking about how much you hate men. stop telling all the men in your life how much you hate men and acting like their willingness to just take it is a measure of their moral goodness. stop making "jokes" about how trans men are "joining the enemy". stop talking about how much you wish you weren't attracted to men, or how much of a shame it is that someone else is. stop acting like womanhood and femininity are inherently pure and good and harmless while manhood and masculinity are inherently gross and evil and dangerous. stop acting like there's something inherently corruptive about existing as a man that fundamentally changes someone the second they come out as one. stop acting like it's funny to say you want to kill all of us as if there aren't countless people actively working to eliminate us. you would distance yourself from your identity too if everyone you knew spent their free time talking about how much they hate it.

help put spaces and resources into place that take trans men into consideration. stop getting mad at trans men who "call themselves men but still want access to women's spaces" and start looking at the world around you and asking why we want access to those spaces. open your eyes and realize that there is nothing out here for us, that all of the spaces and resources catered toward our experiences are marketed for everyone except us. ask yourself where the hell we're supposed to go when every clinic specializing in care for our bodies is a "women's clinic", when the only men's shelters are really just for cis men and the people advocating for "inclusive" shelters see all men as a threat to be warded off, when no one is willing to make an actual place for us and we have no choice but to just find the place that looks the least risky and hope they let us stay. put some effort into making this world more hospitable for us. you would distance yourself from your identity too if the resources you need to survive were offered for every identity but yours.

actually show trans men some fucking love for once in your life. find it in your heart to actually give a shit about trans men, to see us as real whole people who are deserving of love and community, to see our needs and feelings as worth your time and energy. care about us, care about our lives, care about our health and happiness and well-being instead of abandoning us the second we come out as men. start valuing our presence in the community and realize that we actually have a lot to offer if you could just listen to us. ask yourself why you're so comfortable leaving us to fend for ourselves in a world that wants us dead and is currently being very loud about that fact. you would distance yourself from your identity too if the community that supported you for years suddenly stopped caring about you the second you embraced it.

y'all will spend all day talking about how horrible it is that some trans men emphasize that they were assigned/raised female but nobody actually cares why so many of us do that. no one actually bothers to ask why we would put so much effort into being recognized as men but be afraid to fully claim that identity. no one wants to consider that they might be part of the problem, that they might be partially responsible for the thing they're complaining about.

if you want trans men to be able to stand firmly in our manhood and not undermine it with a million disclaimers, you have to actually put in the work to create an environment that's less hostile to trans men who do stand firmly in it.

because right now, regardless of my own personal opinions on the ways some trans men talk about their experiences as "afabs" or their "female socialization" or being "men but not like that", regardless of what issues i personally have with those kinds of statements, i can't blame them. not one fucking bit. and if you actually looked at how the world treats us - how our own community treats us - when we do fully own our manhood, you would feel the same way.

and if you aren't willing to do these things - which are literally just basic respect and care for other human beings, by the way - you don't get to complain about the ways trans men deal with how people like you treat our manhood. you can't expect a problem to disappear when you won't even acknowledge the part you might play in causing it.

[qwefbjksfbjksda]

no no, you don't understand: female terfs need to antagonize men because they cannot dissociate their womanhood from misogyny. without the "kill all men" rhetoric they wouldn't know what gender to identify themselves with.

without their oppression to give them a shared experience, without a common enemy to fight against, there is no lived experience that distinguishes femaleness from maleness, and they are very very scared of this fact. after all, if terfs open themselves to such radical ideas as "men are human beings deserving of compassion" they'll have to unlearn their fear and disgust towards everything they perceive as manly or masculine. worse still, if terfs admit that men can be victims of discrimination, they lose the uniqueness of everything they thought made them female. they cannot fucking fathom that there is more to womanhood than being afraid of men and mistreating men on the assumption that they're evil monsters.

this ideology bleeds out of containment and affects people other than cis men. you're a trans woman? they'll say that you don't understand real misogyny because you grew up differently, and since experiencing misogyny is a requirement for being female, you're appropriating the female gender and posing a direct threat to cis womanhood. nevermind the fact that every trans woman was once a little girl in a world that hated little girls, that expected them to hate themselves for every girlish thing about them, that demonstrated its hatred for trans girls in a way that cis women never get to see, because misogyny happens in the boys locker room too.

oh you're a trans man? terfs pretend to understand you completely - you poor thing, it's so hard being female, and the trans cult like to take advantage of girls like you who have been weakened and demoralized by their oppression, and promise them that they can escape from it all if they turn into men. but you're not really a man, because manhood requires that you're the natural enemy of women, that you're irreparably untrustworthy and dangerous, and you can't be those things because you've been a victim. terfs want you to think they understand your suffering so that they can play the kindly mothering role. it's sick and manipulative.

terfs really think it's the job of women in this society to be oppressed by men. they actually think that the two genders are predator and prey. it's so fucked up. it's so fucked.

[tyrannuspitch]

Jumping off @kidrat​ ’s recent post on JKR, British transphobia, and transphobia against transmasculine people, after getting a bit carried away and too long to add as a comment:

A major, relatively undiscussed event in JKR’s descent into full terfery was this tweet:

[image id: a screenshot of a tweet from JK Rowling reading: “’People who menstruate.’ I’m sure there used to be a word for those people. Someone help me out. Wumben? Wimpund? Woomud?”

Rowling attaches a link to an article titled: “Opinion: Creating a more equal post-COVID-19 world for people who menstruate” /end id]

This can seem like a pretty mundane TERF talking point, just quibbling over language for the sake of it, but I think it’s worth discussing, especially in combination with the idea that cis women like JKR see transmasculine transition as a threat to their womanhood. (Recite it with horror: ”If I were young now, I might’ve transitioned...”)

A lot of people, pro- or anti-transphobe, will make this discussion about whether the term “woman” should include trans women or not, and how cis women are hostile to the inclusion of trans women. And that’s absolutely true. But the actual language cis women target is very frequently being changed for the benefit of trans men, not trans women, and most of them know this.

Cis people are used to having their identities constantly reaffirmed and grounded in their bodies. A lot of cis women, specifically, understand their social and physical identities as women as being defined by pain: misogynistic oppression is equated to the pains of menstruation or childbirth, and both are seen as the domain of cis women. They’re something cis women can bond over and build a “sisterhood” around, and the more socially aware among them can recognise that cis women’s pain being taken less seriously by medicine is not unrelated to their oppression. However, in the absence of any trans perspectives, these conversations can also easily become very territorial and very bioessentialist.

Therefore... for many cis women, seeing “female bodies” described in gender neutral language feels like stripping their pain of its meaning, and they can become very defensive and angry.

And the consequences for transmasculine people can be extremely dangerous.

Not only do transmasculine people have an equal right to cis women to define our bodies as our own... Using inclusive language in healthcare is about more than just emotional validation.

The status quo in healthcare is already non-inclusive. When seeking medical help, trans people can expect to be misgendered and to have to explain how our bodies work to the doctors. We risk harassment, pressure to detransition, pressure to sterilise ourselves, or just being outright turned away. And the conversation around pregnancy and abortion in particular is heaving with cisnormativity - both feminist and anti-feminist cis women constantly talk about pregnancy as a quintessentially female experience which men could never understand.

Using gender-neutral language is the most basic step possible to try and make transmasculine people safer in healthcare, by removing the idea that these are “women’s spaces”, that men needing these services is impossible, and that safety depends on ideas like “we’re all women here”. Not institutionally subjecting us to misgendering and removing the excuse to outright deny us treatment is, again, one of the most basic steps that can be taken. It doesn’t mean we’re allowed comfort, dignity or full autonomy, just that one major threat is being addressed. The backlash against this from cis women is defending their poorly developed senses of self... at the cost of most basic dignity and safety for transmasculine people.

Ironically, though transphobic cis women feel like decoupling “women’s experiences” from womanhood is decoupling them from gendered oppression, transmasculine people experience even more marginalisation than cis women. Our rates of suicide and assault are even higher. Our health is even less researched than cis women’s. Our bodies are even more strictly controlled. Cis women wanting to define our bodies on their terms is a significant part of that. They hold the things we need hostage as “women’s rights”, “women’s health”, “women’s discussions” and “support for violence against women”, and demand we (re-)closet ourselves or lose all of their solidarity.

Fundamentally, the problem is that transphobic cis women are possessive over their experiences and anyone who shares them. Because of their binary understanding of gender, they’re uncomfortable with another group sharing many of their experiences but defining themselves differently. They’re uncomfortable with transmasculine people identifying “with the enemy” instead of “with their sisters”, and they’re even more uncomfortable with the idea that there are men in the world who they oppress, and not the other way around. “Oppression is for women; you can’t call yourself a man and still claim women’s experiences. Pregnancy is for women; if you want to be a man so badly why haven’t already you done something about having a woman’s body? How dare you abandon the sisterhood while inhabiting one of our bodies?”

Which brings me back to the TERF line about how “If I were young now, I might have transitioned.”

I’m not saying Rowling doesn’t actually feel any personal connection to that narrative - but it is a standard line, and it’s standard for a reason. Transphobic cis women really believe that there is nothing trans men go through that cis women don’t. They equate our dysphoria to internalised misogyny, eating disorders, sexual abuse or other things they see as “female trauma”. They equate our desire to transition to a desire to escape. They want to “help us accept ourselves” and “save us” from threats to their sense of identity. The fact is, this is all projection. They refuse to consider that we really have a different internal experience from them.

There’s also a marked tendency among less overtly transphobic cis women, even self-proclaimed trans allies, to make transphobia towards trans men about cis women.

Violence against trans men is chronically misreported and redefined as “violence against women”. In activist spaces, we’re frequently told that any trauma we have with misogyny is “misdirected” and therefore “not really about us”. If we were women, we would’ve been “experiencing misogyny”, but men can’t do that, so we should shut up and stop “talking over women”. (Despite the surface difference of whether they claim to affirm our gender, this is extremely similar to how TERFs tell us that everything we experience is “just misogyny”, but that transmasculine identity is a delusion that strips us of the ability to understand gender or the right to talk about it.)

I have personally witnessed an actual N*zi writing an article about how trans men are “destroying the white race” by transitioning and therefore becoming unfit to carry children, and because the N*zi had misgendered trans men in his article, every response I saw to it was about “men controlling women’s bodies”.

All a transphobe has to do is misgender us, and the conversation about our own oppression is once again about someone else.

Transphobes will misgender us as a form of violence, and cis feminist “allies” will perpetuate our misgendering for rhetorical convenience. Yes, there is room to analyse how trans men are treated by people who see us as women - but applying a simple “men oppressing women” dynamic that erases our maleness while refusing to even name transphobia or cissexism is not that. Trans men’s oppression is not identical to cis women’s, and forcing us to articulate it in ways that would include cis women in it means we cannot discuss the differences.

It may seem like I’ve strayed a long way from the original topic, and I kind of have, but the central reason for all of these things is the same:

Trans men challenge cis women’s self-concept. We force them to actually consider what manhood and womanhood are and to re-analyse their relationship to oppression, beyond a simple binary patriarchy. 

TERFs will tell you themselves that the acknowledgement of trans people, including trans men, is an “existential threat” that is “erasing womanhood” - not just our own, but cis women’s too. They hate the idea that biology doesn’t determine gender, and that gender does not have a strict binary relationship to oppression. They’re resentful of the idea that they could just “become men”, threatened by the assertion that doing so is not an escape, and completely indignant at the idea that their cis womanhood could give them any kind of power. They are, fundamentally, desperate not to have to face the questions we force them to consider, so they erase us, deflect from us, and talk over us at every opportunity.

Trans men are constantly redefined against our wills for the benefit of cis womanhood.

TL;DR:

Cis women find transmasculine identity threatening, because we share experiences that they see as foundational to their womanhood

The fact that transphobes target inclusive language in healthcare specifically is not a mistake - They do not want us to be able to transition safely

Cis women are uncomfortable acknowledging transphobia, so they make discussion of trans men’s oppression about “womanhood” instead

This can manifest as fully denying that trans men experience our own oppression, or as pretending trans men’s experiences are identical to cis women’s in every way

[nervoustragedyluminary]

It's imo a combo of:

unexamined radfem(terf) ideology that says trans men and mascs (and neuts who they decide aren't femme enough - I'm abbreviating in the following to "trans men" but it's not only trans men who face this) are "choosing the enemy team and being gender traitors so they deserve to be punished & I dot understand how anyone could find being (forced to be) a woman bad unless they hate women"

People steeped in white cisfeminist selfishness who look at the trans community through their own cis patriarchal understanding of how being trans works & refuse to understand or empathise with the fact that dyadic binary trans women aren't the only people who face life threatening dysphoria or conversion violence & transphobic violence & that coerced femininity & womanhood can be just as traumatic and oppressive for some as coerced masculinity & manhood .

Bullies and abusers who know that they can use dysphoria & forced detransition against us for control due to the culture and spaces they're in not recognising what they're doing as transphobic abuse or condoning it as somehow "punching up" due to us being "gender traitors who chose the bad gender probably because they weren't strong and feminist enough and wanted to take the easy way out because transphobia doesn't really effect trans men and trans men's dysphoria is just silly women having low self esteem but they don't know their own minds like we do because we are enlightened source: trust me"

But yeah any "community" treating you like this where you have to walk on eggshells and hide or diminish who you really are for others comfort because they haven't examined their own transphobic assumptions isn't a worthwhile or safe community and there are better spaces with actual solidarity that won't bully or abuse you for being yourself "wrong". If you can explain to them that their behaviour is harming you and they listen and realise it's not okay cool but if not it's not your fault and you're not wrong for leaving that abusive situation for spaces where you won't be bullied or abused for being "the wrong kind of trans/too masculine "

genuine question, why do/did people label trans men venting about their dysphoria as misogynistic?

I'm 99% certain this is some form of transandrophobia and/or throwing trans men under the bus "for the sake of feminism", and I'm not around those people who say that shit anymore, but I just don't understand what makes trans men even remotely misogynistic for not wanting tits or being forced to wear a dress by their cis peers and family members

[bisexualfagdyke]

Hi, this is @bisexual-cat on my new account. I logged into my old account and saw this reblog so I just wanted to try and explain.

First of all, if you don't understand something you can just scroll past it. This was a flag I made to represent my own identity and posted for other people in the MOGAI / queer inclusionist community in case they also connect with it, not so you can start explaining why my sexuality is "problematic" and "wrong" in the reblogs. If you don't understand something – that's fine. But instead of going off about why I'm problematic, maybe just ask for clarification? Nicely? Respectfully? I didn't ask, nor do I care about your opinion on my identity. Respectfully, your opinion genuinely means nothing to me and I don't know why you decided to give it to me unprompted. I'm only responding to this bcuz it seems like you want to understand and I'm willing to explain.

Nobody is being harmed (in real, tangible ways) by me, a nonbinary trans man, identifying as a sapphic man. If it bothers and upsets you (the most harm it could ever cause) then you could actively choose to ignore my existence and get on with your life. I am not "invading sapphic spaces" or "invalidating being sapphic" by literally just Existing and using words to best describe how I genuinely experience my identity and attraction. You can feel free to explain to me how this affects other sapphics in real life ways if you want, because I am not getting it. Who decided that I was absolutely not allowed to be [trans] man who experiences queer, sapphic attraction to women? Who came up with that Strict Law Of Nature and who is going to enforce it? Is your idea of "protecting True Sapphics" just yelling at trans people who dare to identify in slightly confusing / complex ways for being "problematic"? Why is me genuinely feeling and experiencing my attraction the way I do "problematic"? Who are you to tell me I'm not allowed to experience and feel the way I literally do? Also, fun queer history fact: trans men have historically been a part of lesbian / sapphic spaces.

I'm not identifying this way to purposefully piss people off, to be an Enemy, to hurt or upset people. I wouldn't do that, there is no point for me to do that because funnily enough, I actually don't want to be hated and excluded from my own community because of my identity. I'm identifying this way because IT IS SIMPLY HOW I GENUINELY FUCKING FEEL!!!! Is that so bad? I cannot accurately and Exactly explain why I feel this way, but I believe it has something to do with the fact I am a trans man, not a cis man, and my manhood is 100% queer, out of the gender binary, and even somewhat connected to being a girl. My trans-ness and my manhood is complex and queer. My attraction to women, as a man, is also queer. It just is. That is how I honestly feel.

I know it might be hard to understand if you don't directly experience it, but I ask you to think about it like this: is harassing and attacking queer people who identify in ways you don't understand truly worth it? How does this benefit you? What are you aiming for, except making another queer person feel like shit just so you can uplift other queer people who you do understand? Why do you insist on subscribing to extremely strict definitions of labels that nobody can truly enforce and decide, and being mean to people who don't fully fit with those definitions? Why do you want to exclude other queer people for being queer in a way you don't like?

☆ SAPPHIC MAN / MLW ☆

This flag is for sapphic men who do not feel connected to womanhood / being wlw, but who still feel like their mlw attraction is inherently sapphic / queer

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

[FLAG ID: the flag pictured has six stripes. In order, the colours are; dark purple, light purple, magenta pink, soft yellow, light orange, and wine red. The flag on the left has a purple interlocking male/female symbol with a white outline. END ID]

[runthepockets]

White trans men kinda piss me off and are impossible to talk to for this reason. Like they're socialized with the idea that anyone with a dick is the enemy, and they just believe it. Even when they transition and are regularly read as people with penises, they're just like "well this doesn't apply to me" instead of wondering what leads people to these conclusions in the first place. Growing up many of my peers were black and latino boys, and that was the manhood that shaped me. Becoming a man and regularly passing as your average cis black guy lead me further down a hole of intersectional feminism and brought me closer to these men that I previously thought possible and made it easier to accept myself, too. I don't understand why white trans men are not doing this for themselves and the men (both cis and trans) in their lives.

And it's not entirely their fault, of course, there's also the Gamergate guys and the Incels and the Joe Rogan types, centuries upon centuries of slavery-- it's definitely harder for them to make peace with their birthright in some ways than it is for mine in the same ways. I come from the men who invented everything from Rock music, Rap, R&B, and Hip Hop, to the guys that probably built the sidewalks you walk on and pick up the garbage you put out every week. This is a very different and kinder reality than the descendants of men who stole these things, and are directly responsible for putting other men (and women) in positions of financial and physical vulnerability. They have very few role models that do the right things for the right reasons. As much as they annoy me, I feel for white trans guys.

That said.....those guys are a fairly small demographic of the world. The right wing / annoying dudes you knew in high school do not have the monopoly on anything. Those guys are more often than not read as incompetent weirdos who live in insular echo chambers with other white people and a handful of self hating nonwhite people. Like, just cus me and Andrew Tate are both straight black guys doesn't mean you're going to see me trying to make up for all of his failures. That's simply not realistic and simply not what I was put on this Earth to do, especially when I know most straight black men are not Andrew Tate anyway.

There are some very nice white boys out there, some who laugh at inappropriate times and some with shaved heads and "poor" fashion sense and many with penises. And a lot of them are chill dudes. I'm personally a big fan of John Goodman, Tony Hawk, Steve-O, Riley Gale, John Tardy, Dylan Walker, Chase Mason, Zach Hill, Hunter S. Thompson, and, of course, Travis Miller (Lil Ugly Mane). My best friend in 3rd grade-- a white boy-- started the semester hating me for racist reasons, then came around to protect me from every bully and indulge me during every playground LARP fantasy of Mortal Kombat and the previous weekend's Naruto episode, because he got to know me a little better over the course of the year. It's not the end of the world if you slip up, sometimes. It's your reception (or lack thereof) to change and growth that really dictate your character.

There are many ways to be a good white dude that don't boil down to perpetually framing yourself as frail and waifish to alleviate yourself as all responsibility, or constantly self deprecating, or worse yet framing yourself as superior due to being a male feminist (that's basically what every post that frames trans men as superior to cis men boils down to, to me) and/or knocking cis guys for everything from being (understandably) insecure around hobbies and clothes that they were taught to read as feminine, to, like, just straight up having "different chromosomes" rather than their actual, material harm toward women children and queer people. Like it's really not as stressful as a lot of you are making it for yourselves. Please heal.

Every day a white trans guy has to reconcile being a feminist with his white masculinity and he has to make it everyone else's problem. Like bro, you can smoke shirtless on your porch and still think women are people. You can lift at the gym and still think women are people. You can play video games with a shaved head and still think women are people. You can have a dick and still think women are people. Cis men do it every day. Trans men too. You will be ok.