#chronic pain vent

[frankiensteinsmonster]

I don't think you understand, when I say my [insert body part(s) here] hurts I don't mean like it's a little achy or sore or stiff, even though it's valid and enough to feel that way as well. But what I mean is it feels like a fucking injury. I mean it feels like there is something wrong with me that I need to go get checked out by a professional. Only I know that isn't the case and it's just my condition. That's what I mean when I say it hurts.

[i-say-stupid-things]

being on call with friends while i have the base pain level i’m used to and all of a sudden i get stronger pain in a part of my body…

overcome with the urge to curl up and cry

[l0stw00d]

So like. Is there a blood sacrifice I can do to help with the hip pain or

[noctimusprime]

“Won’t getting a wheelchair be counterintuitive?”

“Don’t become too dependent on your wheelchair.”

“Don’t sit too long in the wheelchair. You don’t want your muscles to atrophy.”

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!!!!

The reason I’m even getting a wheelchair is because it HURTS to walk and stand and travel. I am basically homebound due to my pain and weakness in my legs!! I’m not getting a wheelchair to be cool or because I’m lazy. I CANNOT WALK WITHOUT PAIN AND THE POSSIBILITY OF COLLAPSING DUE TO WEAKNESS!!! Stop telling me this. Stop telling me that getting something to give me more freedom is going to be detrimental to my health. Stop telling me that I’m going to make things worse. Things are ALREADY worse because of my pain. My doctors write me off as a drug seeker because I’m asking for help so fucking often. They don’t give a shit even though I’M NOT ASKING FOR FUCKING MEDS. I’m asking for some goddamn answers and the only thing I’m getting is that I need to lose weight or that it’s in my fucking head.

I have lost weight. I lost 75 fucking pounds and because I still wasn’t under 175 like the bmi shit says I’m supposed to be they want me to lose even more weight. My mom is an inch shorter than me. When she was 175lbs, she looked SKELETAL and she only lost the weight due to fucking heroin. Is that what the healthcare system wants me to do to reach my supposed “goal weight”? Fucking heroin? Will doctors finally listen to me if I’m strung out on heroin to achieve an unattainable goal???

[achillez-on-pawz]

To Achilles' mother.

Hi. He is in pain. Let me list it for you.

Each finger on his tiny hands aches and his knuckle stab and flare.

His shoulder blades hurt, from the top down.

His neck feels like it's being impaled.

His back, everywhere, hurts. Like a burning sword, being stabbed, like Brutus to Julius.

His legs, the poor legs, from the thighs to the ankles, burn with pain.

Laying down hurts, walking hurts, standing hurts, sitting hurts.

Should I mention his head hurts from the moment he wakes?

He's tired. We're tired.

So tell me, again, that we look better. Tell me, again, that pain is not an excuse for being unable to focus. Tell us that we should start participating again, because we can't climb stairs. We can't handle bus rides. We can't walk to class without taking breathers.

[schizokaneko]

i want to crawl out of my own fucking skin today has been too up and down. i had a mental breakdown jn class over chronic illness stuff and now im fine? average pain? what is goi g on? why js my body falling apart and the puting itself back together again randomly. why cant you tell me when you're going to come apart. why cant i be in pain all of the tkme instead of getting momentary glimpses of what it feels like to be alive before plunging me back into the depths of illness and pain and fatigue and brainfog and despair? why cant it just be one? why do i have to polarize. why do i have to have functional days and terrivle days. why is there no way to predict it. why am i like this. i would rather be permanently bedridden than up and down and left and right and happy and sad. i don't want this. i'm too fucking emotional. i feel like my skin is crackling into tiny pieces and shattering like a fine china vase that was smashed across a wall at mach 20. i want to kill myself and i want to live. i'm scared of dying but tired of living. why the fuck cant it just be one. im so tired. im so tired

[chronicallystarbound]

Venting fr

involuntary rotting fr, thats summing up my experience with chronic pain. The song and dance of recovery and rest feeling good and then expending all my energy to feel normal when i feel slightly better. The government cant help me ,doctors cant help me ,family cant help me and i cant help me. Its a pit of helplessness and yet i wonder why im depressed. 21 yrs old and my life has been taken from me because i won the genetic lottery of disease and illness. Ill never forget the looks of peoples faces at 15 walking into a rheumatologists appointment its a small office you could hear others so easy its impossible to not ear hustle if unless you have earphones on. I say my name & birthday and sit down waiting for my doctor. I can feel the stares. I lived in a small town so i knew half the people in the office i knew regardless of who i was there for they would talk. But ive moved across the country i live in the city in hopes of change yet the same things happens people stare and act like i cant see them bc they look away the moment i glance their direction. Is it really such a shock to see a young person suffering from arthritis? since when was this condition only for old people? if they think thats bad they should see the rest of my chart! I rant about my illness as im currently going thru a flare it always makes me reminisce even of a few days ago when i was more mobile then i am now. Oh how id give up anything to have a healthy body or move like that again i feel so much shame and embarrassment from me not being able to take care of myself at such a young age. I wish i wasn’t like this i wish i could experience the youth i was promised. I wish i could try give my body the rest it needs but I live in a world that doesn't allow it. I must always be better. Try harder. Be enough even if my body says it cant. It was never up to it in the first place. And I continually fight for that

I must just thug out the pain fr even if it disables me like it has on days like today. No medicine to take that makes it all manageable I take my medication and yet why on earth wont it work like it should. Do doctors know what they are doing? Should i even be alive? Why must i go thru all this pain seriously all because of genetics? I cant work& i feel guilty bc i feel like a leech. No financial independence, feeling in debt to someone willing to put up with me. Healing sounds like a fairytale bc it feels i sleep on glass shards

[sicksadtumble]

Last night I had this horrible nightmare that I had a condition that caused me to have chronic pain. Like literally never ending, non-stop, debilitating pain for the rest of my life. Pain that would keep me stuck in bed for days at a time, pain that would prevent me from working and making money, pain that would cause me to be alone. Pain that would never leave my side.

Life ruining pain.

My whole life a blur of torture.

Good thing THAT would never happen in real life 🤪🤣😭

[frankiensteinsmonster]

It's tough being used to feeling incredible amounts of pain that when it becomes worse or more frequent you don't even mention it

And bc it's been going on for so long, when you finally do figure out it's not normal or start actually trying to talk about it the people around you get Very confused about why 'all of a sudden' you're being impacted so heavily and are now actively disabled. Like, actually this isn't new I've just spent years teetering on the edge without realizing how abnormal it is due to a variety of reasons I won't get into on tumblr dot com :')

I don't know how to describe the experience other than I feel a lot like a cat in pain, like you can read it in my body language, but my face says little to nothing and I'm not saying much at all about it until it is too much to bear.

[nightfallsystem]

random chronic pain vent art lol

cw uhhh ableist comments etc just what i hear

does anyone else feel me 😭😭😭

ok to rb if u want to

[shorttrans]

I just wanna be believed.

I wanna use my aid.

I wanna have accommodations.

I want to be able to call myself chronically ill without feeling like a liar.

I want to be taken seriously by the people with control over my life.

I want to stop being told I'll feel better soon.

I want to not be told I'm making fun of disabled people by existing.

[l0stw00d]

Chat I have 2 be real with you . I am low-key at my fucking limit

[arthyritis]

Having my cane by my bed really brings back memories of 2021/22 when I got it and had to use it like every day even inside. I don't wanna relive that I just want my pain managed forever for hell's sake.

[germtimes]

I'm so detached from myself at all times that I genuinely don't know who I am or what I like. I feel like I don't like anything "enough", like my interests are barely interests at all and I am just sitting there observing stuff. I don't know anything, I can't remember anything, and I certainly can't talk about it to anyone. And if I ever did try in my past, it left me more alone and alienated. Idk what I am, who I am, or what I'm even supposed to be doing anymore. Am I too damaged to function? Was it too much trauma and now my mind is just too fragile and weak to cope? Is it the drugs? Or the lack of drugs? Is it the pain or undiagnosis or misdiagnosis or waiting lists or what what is it just tell me I'll fix it.

[ashtraysystem]

Last night my body decided "hey, fuck you! you get Intense Pain now!"

I guess my body finally caught up in terms of pain from over the weekend, and it all hit me at once. I literally was worried I was dying, I felt sick to my stomach. I took some of my gabapentin tho and was totally fine once it kicked in.

My body isn't used to a lot of physical activity, especially with all that I did fixing the garden up. So it was freaking out once it processed it all.

I'm okay now, just realizing I really need to take it easy for a few days and maybe be more careful when it comes to such physically taxing activity.

[noctimusprime]

I am angry.

I am so very angry.

I m angry at my body for deciding that it’s going to deteriorate to the point I can’t walk without an aid.

I used to rollerblade. I used to take walks in the parks in my town. I used to swim frequently.

Now I can’t even walk from my car to the grocery store entrance.

I’ve tried explaining it to my doctor but they don’t give a shit. My tests are normal, so obviously nothings wrong.

The rheumatologist won’t see me because I’m 26 so obviously too young to have problems.

I can’t shower without help from my fiancé. I can’t get out of bed, put on pants by myself.

I can barely lift my baby out of her crib without excruciating pain shooting through my back, down my legs, and into my arms.

I can’t even get on fucking disability and therefore have to have a job that’s fucking killing me

I’m tired. I don’t have independence anymore.

I don’t have the energy or the willpower to get up anymore and honestly the only things keeping me going is my baby, my fiancé, and my cats.

I’m so fucking tired of the looks at work, at the grocery store. I’m tired of the questions. I don’t know how to explain that everything in my body is falling apart.

I feel guilty and ashamed because my fiancé has to take care of me in a way I hoped would be later in life. I’m 26 years old and I can’t put my own fucking pants on.