#chronic pain buck fic

[theotherbuckley]

Tease Tidbit Tuesday/WIP Wednesday

As it is Wednesday here I've decided to combine the days and just do one post.

Tagged for TTT by: @loserdiaz @loveyouanyway @wikiangela @underwater-ninja-13 @actualalligator @daffi-990 @honestlydarkprincess @hippolotamus @dangerpronebuddie thanks for the tags everyone, tagging you all back for Wednesday 💜💜

Here's some more from chronic pain!Buck fic - I thought I'd finish it today but I have a test tomorrow and like 5 assignments to do so I'm gonna be a good girl and actually study. In the meantime, here's a snippet:

“I’ve got you,” Eddie murmurs softly. Buck feels so soft, so protected.

His emotions towards the man are fighting to be set free with every act of kindness he displays. Buck is in awe of him. In awe of just how incredibly perfect he is. How he always knows exactly what it is Buck needs, how he has this sixth sense to know when Buck’s struggling and is always there to help him. How he stays even when Buck is being too much. 

Also, Buck loves how fucking strong this man is that he can lift Buck up and deposit him in the bathtub in one swift motion because holy shit. Buck has to fight his body to stay calm. Now is most certainly not the time for any funny business. Buck yelps as Eddie lowers him into the water, expecting to be met with something too hot or too cold but no, of course Eddie has some magical power of making sure the water is just right. 

He must’ve made some noise to voice his thoughts because then Eddie is saying, “Chris always complains when the temperature’s not perfect, so I hope it’s to your liking.”

Buck sinks into the warm water, letting the water soothe his aches. He plays with the foamy bubbles that have gathered on the surface, feeling like a kid getting a bubble bath. He smiles dopily at Eddie as the pain slowly subsides to a more bearable level. “Thank you,” Buck murmurs, closing his eyes and leaning back in the tub.

Tagging for WIP Wednesday: @disasterbuckdiaz @fortheloveofbuddie @jeeyuns @wildlife4life @honestlydarkprincess @eddiebabygirldiaz @spagheddiediaz @jesuisici33 @your-catfish-friend @ladydorian05 @giddyupbuck @eowon @elvensorceress @watchyourbuck @steadfastsaturnsrings @housewifebuck @thewolvesof1998 @rainbow-nerdss @cal-daisies-and-briars @evanbegins @diazsdimples @fionaswhvre @aspecbuddie @lover-of-mine @nmcggg @tizniz @monsterrae1 @smilingbuckley @pirrusstuff @actuallyitsellie @bucksbackwardcap (let me know if you'd like to be added/removed <3)

[buckbuckleybegins]

imagine buck having a bad leg day at work, cursing the fact that the painkillers arent working and that he most likely will have to tell bobby to make him man behind—or worse, take the day off, bc as much as he wants to work if he goes on a call with his bum knee throwing daggers at him every few minutes, he’d be endangering not only himself but also the victims they’d be trying to help and he’s matured enough to know that would be selfish and straight up stupid and he’s no longer a twenty-six probie and ughhhh.

imagine him being grumpy about it. so grumpy he isolates himself to find an empty bunk bed and lay on it and massage the knee a little, hoping it will somehow help and that it’ll stop bothering him before next time the siren will go off and… eddie finds him there, (bc of course he does. of course he’s noticed that something was off with buck even though buck has tried to mask it all morning.) and eddie is raising an eyebrow at him, expression puzzled with a tinge of worry and then he just sits on the bed and takes buck’s bad leg on his lap and starts doing the massage himself and… even if it doesnt feel as good as it could bc eddie is massaging it over the pants of the uniform, the warmth of eddie’s fingers and the pressure he’s putting on it are still making Buck feel so so so much better and Buck has to close his eyes and put an arm over them (but also bc he’s trying to hide the ways he’s started flushing from his neck up, all the way till the tip of his ears, and also ignore the way eddie’s cheeks were starting to do the same thing and become all rosy) for a few minutes and when he opens them back eddie is staring at him in a way he’s never done before and—

imagine them both startling and almost jumping out of the bed when they hear chim’s voice going uuuuuuh before he tells them he’ll come back later and rushing away and they’re both even more embarrassed and neither seems to be able to break the silence until eddie claps his hands and say well im gonna go and buck is nodding way too fast and saying yeah yeah sure yeah and they don’t talk about it because they’re both idiots who have no clue what the hell any of that actually meant.

imagine chim slapping a hand on his face while hen is patting his back and saying there there bc he realizes nothing’s happened after all of that this time either and he’s really going to have to suffer their stupid slowburn will they won’t they for the rest of his life isn’t he.

[plasticbagdepot]

perfect arrangement of rickety bones

2.8k | buddie | buck has chronic pain

Buck used to never mind the rain, he loved it.

The rain doesn’t bring him joy anymore. It brings rapidly changing atmospheric pressure, and cold, and pain.

or Buck deals with a chronic pain flare up

[read on ao3]

[dreamforrest]

Did a little sprint. Here is some chronic pain Buck.

Buck lay in bed, he tried to stretch out his leg and pain shot from his heel to his hip. He knew he had overdone it this past week, between work, trying to run off the baked goods and chasing after Jee-Yun. He knew he should make a call to his physical therapist. That’s the thing about chronic pain, insurance only covers so many sessions at a time then you have to take a break. The system is built for injuries, conditions that can improve over a couple months of sessions. It’s not built for people with chronic issues, trying to reach a level of daily function, people like Buck and Christopher. He texted Bobby, asking to use a day of PTO after his forty-eight off. Ravi would be happy to take the hours. He laced his fingers behind his left thigh and carefully pushed it over the side of the bed, wincing and grunting in pain. Slowly he pushed himself up into a sitting position and turned to sit on the edge of his mattress. The six feet to the toilet, might as well have been ten miles. He planted both hands on the mattress, trying to push himself up, he lost his balance, landing back on the bed.

“Fuck.” Breathe.

He took a few shaky breaths and tried again. Another shot of pain, throwing off his balance but he caught himself, carefully putting his left foot flat on the floor without too much weight on it.

“C’mon, motherfucker.” Slowly, one foot in front of the other, he made it to the bathroom door. Gripping the door frame tight and taking another deep breath as his leg begins to tremple. He reached out to grab onto the bathroom counter, forcing his feet to keep moving. Buck really didn’t want to start the day off by pissing himself. He reached the toilet just in time to relieve himself. He washed his hands, leaning most of his body weight on the counter before gathering the strength to push himself off and limp to the bathroom closet, on the inside of the door he found the cane he hadn’t used in at least five months.

[pigeonxp]

me 🤝 amputee buck fics

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Overwhelmed

MAIN MASTERLIST / MARVEL MASTERLIST / CHRONIC ILLNESS MASTERLIST

Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Word Count: 1,170ish

Summary: Everything becomes too much when Bucky's away.

Notes: I'm incredibly overwhelmed right now. The scenarios in this fic are based on my true situation. The only problem is that I'm all on my own.

You and Bucky met at a fundraiser for your school. Sam had convinced him to come to help raise money. You were the energetic teacher in charge of it all and Bucky was immediately smitten by you. With some meddling, Sam got you and Bucky to swap numbers and Bucky asked you out on a date. The two of you have been together since.

That was six months ago. In that time, you and Bucky have grown close, sharing many things close to your own hearts. He’s shared experiences from his life, including glimpses into the Winter Soldier, while you shared your teaching experience and your chronic illness. You had been thankful that up to this point, you hadn’t had a flare up with Bucky, but you knew it was bound to happen.

You were taking on a lot at work. You were the leader of your teacher team, running student council, in charge of the yearbook, the pseudo tech coach, and just the person people came to for whatever they may need. You had been come to be known as the person people could rely on. You were also known to be good with students who had behavior problems, so you had many of those in your class. And now, you were just asked to do a fourth / fifth class next year, which you had done in the past. 

It was all beginning to pile on and you felt like you couldn’t say ‘no’ out of fear for disappointing anyone and knowing that others couldn’t handle the tasks at hand. You could feel all the stress seep into you physically and, on your way home from school one Friday, you could feel a flare up coming on. You held it together until you got home and then curled up on the couch and broke down into sobs. Everything hurt. Emotionally, mentally, and physically.

Your phone buzzed in your pocket and you shakily pulled it out. It was Bucky, who you knew was away with Sam right now. He was calling to check on you, like he tried to do after school every day. You took a few deep breath’s before you answered the phone.

“Hey, Buck,” you tried not to show like you were barely holding it all together.

“Hey, doll,” you could hear the small smile on his face. The one he saved for you alone. “Just calling to check on you. How did your day go?”

“It was, uh,” you paused to clear your throat, “fine.”

“Are you sure?” You should have known that Bucky would catch on. He wasn’t an idiot and was very in tune with you. “What are you not telling me?”

Letting out a shaky exhale, the tears built up again and there was no stopping them. “It’s been… a lot. Everything’s finally getting to me and I don’t know how to work through it all.”

“What’s going on, sweetheart? What do you need?”

“They asked me to teach the split class again… and I said yes.”

“Y/N…”

“I know what you’re going to say, Buck. But who else was going to do it? The options aren’t good. The— The students couldn’t handle the other options and I’ve done it before. I can do it again.”

“At what cost, darling?”

“I know…” You moved slightly on the couch, a pained groan slipping through your lips. 

“What was that? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“I don’t believe you. What else is up?”

You sighed. “I… I have a flare up starting. But I’ll be fine. I’ve dealt with it for years now and thankfully, it’s the weekend so I’ll take it easy.”

“I should be there. I shouldn’t have gone on this mission with Sam. Doll—“

“Stop that, Bucky. I’ll be fine. Just finish the mission and I’ll be here waiting.”

“I’m sorry I’m not there, sweetheart.”

“No need. I know you’ll be back soon and make it up to me.”

“I’ll call you tomorrow. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

You hung up the phone and curled further into the couch, knowing that you’d probably fall asleep like that without any food or even changing. But it was just too much too move. You were in too much pain.

~~~

Bucky stared at the phone after the call ended. Guilt was bubbling up inside of him. He hadn’t ever been there to help you through a flare up before, and here he was, not there again. 

“You okay there, Bucky?” Sam wondered, watching the whole interaction.

“No,” he replied, stuffing the phone in his pocket. “I’m going home. Y/N needs me and I need to be there for her.”

Sam smirked. “I hope you know that I expect a child named after me.” Bucky rolled his eyes. “Go. Help your girl.”

“Thanks, Sam.”

~~~

Though Bucky didn’t live with you, he did have a key to your apartment. It was slightly past midnight when he slipped into your apartment. He snuck further into the apartment, glancing around to make sure he didn’t accidentally do anything to disturb you. He headed for the kitchen to quickly get a drink of water before his eyes caught sight of you on the couch. Bucky’s heart broke as he took in the sight of you curled up on the couch. You were still in your work close and there were dried tear tracks on your face. He could also see how tense your muscles were.

Quietly, he came over to you and gently scooped you up into his arms. You whimpered as he did so.

“Sorry, sweetheart,” he mumbled. “Just gotta get you to bed.”

“B—Bucky?” You slurred.

“Yeah, doll, it’s me.”

You began to wake up more. “What are you doing here?”

“Couldn’t stand the thought of you struggling on your own.”

“Really?” You quickly grew emotional again.

“Really, doll. I’m here for you. So let’s get you into something comfy.”

~~~

Bucky helped you get changed as he soon realized it was currently hard for you to easily help yourself. After you were changed, Bucky helped you get comfortable in bed.

“Have you eaten or taken any meds tonight?” Bucky wondered. You sheepishly shook your head. “Alright, I’ll go whip something up.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Be right back.”

~~~

Once Bucky was sure that you were fed and that you had some medicine down you, Bucky climbed into bed with you. He knew that you were in pain so he kept to his side of the bed.

“Bucky?” You whispered.

“Yes, doll?” He responded.

“Can you hold me?”

“Are you sure? I don’t—“

“Please. You won’t hurt me. I promise.”

Bucky moved closer and carefully wrapped you up in his arms and pulled you into him. “This okay?”

“It’s perfect.”

He pressed a kiss to the side of your face. “I love you, you know that? You’re the strongest woman I know.”

“I love you so much, Buck… thank you for coming home to help me.”

“Always, doll. I will always come home, for whatever reason.”

[084thoughts]

Ravi Centric Fic Recs!!

Separated into categories and listed by word count from least to greatest. AO3 ratings are highlighted -> Gen Teen Mature Explicit Not Rated (NR)

🔥 labeled fics are some of my personal favorites!!

Please read tags/descriptions before to avoid any triggering or explicit content. Many of these fics discuss childhood cancer, chronic and mental illness, explicit sexual activity, and/or traumatic injury.

Basically all of the romantic/sexual pairings w Ravi are rarepairs-Hanikkar, May/Ravi, Buck/Ravi- (because 9-1-1 can't seem to bother giving him character development) so if you don't vibe w a ship, just don't read it. I included some great non-slash fics, and a entire section for Buddie-centric fics.

Character Study (Ravi Lore) 📚

Tea by ThirteenRedVampireBites | NR | 1.2k | Tea and how it shaped Ravi's favorite memories, Comfort Food, Fluff, minor hanikkar Ravi Begins by Ginja828 | T | 4.5k | Post-Season 7, 911 Typical Emergency, Flashbacks, Suicide Attempt, Queer Ravi no one can be born too many times by Daisies_and_Briars | T | 10k | Ravi's brother visits the station and is a dick, discussion of cancer, autism, supportive 118 Ravi Begins by mothdean | G | 11k | Ravi joins A-shift, Minor Character Death (on a call), Cancer Treatment & Remission, Hurt/Comfort, Childhood Trauma 🔥darlin', i'm just tryin' to tell ya by archerincombat | T | 12k | The 118 adopts a stray dog that reminds Ravi of his childhood, Cancer, Fire Station Dog, Panikkar Family, 118 Found Family 🔥the ravi fic by archerincombat | T | 15k | Ravi/OMC, 118 Friendships, Panikkar Family, Ravi's OC Friends, Childhood Cancer, Pining, Canon 911 Events: Seasons 4-6 paralyzed (don't you know you've got me?) by doveious | T | 36k | Ravi is paralyzed after a car accident, Established May/Ravi (but not main focus), Hurt/Comfort, Physical Disability, Chronic Pain

118 Friendships 🚒

if i should fall by truth_seeker_1789 | G | <1k | 911 call, Landslide Rescue, Whump, Ravi & Buck Friendship burn the sage (clear the air ducts) by doveious | G | 1.4k | Ravi gets stuck in an air vent, Crack, 118 hijinks Who you gonna call? by scarmaddiewrites | G | 1.7k | Buck has Chronic Pain, Buck & Ravi Friendship, Eddie is in Texas an open wound by rarakiplin (gmontys) | T | 2k | Ravi sees Eddie in the parking lot of the bar, Season 5b, Angst, Mental Health Struggles nothing but the ocean and the sunrise by evenatraitormaymend | G | 2.3k | Buck tells Ravi about his leg scars at the beach, Established Buddie, Fluff, truck bombing Ravi Versus El Paso: A Hate Story by serenelystrange | G | 2.7k | Snippets of Ravi and 118 during Eddie's banishment in Texas, Good-Natured Bullying, 118 Friendships, Queer Ravi birds of a feather, we should stick together by regvlvs | G | 3k | Hen takes Ravi to an aquarium trip to help him study for his paramedic exam, Autistic Ravi, Fluff, Hen & Ravi Friendship things aren't always as they seem by swordgay1989 | G | 4k | 5 times Ravi felt unsure at the 118 + 1 time he felt at home with them, Hurt/Comfort, Autistic Ravi, Cancer, Panic Attacks, Angst it's not what it looks like by odysseus_calls | G | 4.1k | Ravi's romantic plans fall through, he ends up spending his day out with Buck instead, minor Hanikkar, cute date activities with your crush's brother-in-law 🔥all we see is sky for forever by strawberryspence | T | 9k | Buck and Ravi get injured on a call together, Hurt/Comfort, Cancer, Buck & Ravi Friendship 🔥flood of facts by cookiesandcream | T | 9.5k | Buck and Ravi bond at the zoo, background buddie and hanikkar, infodumping, fluff

Cancer 🏥

All About the Cancer by Acciopologies | G | 1k | Chronic Illness, Vomiting, Angst, Misunderstandings Treading on Eggshells by Acciopologies | G | 1k | Childhood Trauma, Mention of Overdose, Suicide Attempt, Whump, Mother-Son Relationship Instead of soccer games by Beeisforever | G | 1.2k | Ravi meets a kid on a call that reminds him of his past, Chemo, One-shot, 911 call ooh child (things are gonna get easier) by doveious | T | 1.8k | Snippet from Ravi's childhood during chemotherapy, Angst, Cancer Treatment, Vomiting trauma sends you letters, without warning, for the rest of your life by swordgay1989 | G | 2.7k | Flashback to Ravi's childhood, Cancer, Chronic Illness, Chemotherapy, Angst 🔥the rest is still unwritten by strawberryspence | T | 8.7k | Buck & Ravi Friendship, Cancer Remission, minor ravi/omc, Beach Day, Car Rides, Healing After Trauma, sequel to all we see is sky for forever

Hanikkar (Ravi/Albert) 🌸

No Aunts for Jee-Yun by delinquentprincess | G | <1k | The 118's POV of Ravi and Albert dating, Short & Sweet sweat baby sweat by chromatophorica | E | 1.3k | Drunk Sex, Accidental Hookup, Friends to Lovers(?) The Reveal by crowstakeflight (seresindiaz) | G | 1.7k | Ravi and Albert go to the Madney wedding as each other's dates, Secret Relationship, Fluff Running on Airplane Mode by whatisreggieshortfor | NR | 1.8k | Miscommunication, Getting Together, Light Angst, Friends to Lovers right from the start (i gave you my heart) by chimneysrebar | G | 2k | Madney wedding, Fluff, Relationship Reveal, Chim cameo a turtle's shell. by sillinesshq | G | 2k | Fluff, Autistic Ravi, Supportive Albert, short & sweet Corresponding Shapes (Like Puzzle Pieces) by thetalee | T | 2.2k | Valentine's Day, Hanikkar Date Night 🔥three first dates by snowflick | T | 2.7k | Developing Relationship, Fluff, Chronically Ill Ravi, Supportive Albert, First Dates, Vomiting depollute me, pretty baby by shortndiaz | E | 3k | Domestic Fluff, Chronic Pain, Drabbles, prompt #4 is smut/explicit sex we'd never say we're just friends by ScatteredPhotographs | G | 3.7k | 5 times Ravi and Albert tried to hide their relationship from the 118 + 1 time they didn’t need to, Secret Relationship, Silly Goofy, 118 Family Feels oh shit, are we in love? by supernovamyth | T | 5.3k | FWB to Lovers, Flirting, Love Confessions 🔥Keep it Down by rainbow_nerds | T | 6k | Ravi and Albert neighbor AU, Friends to Lovers, meet ugly The 118's Soap Opera Curse by Sonayesul | T | 7k | Secret Relationship, Superstitions, Crack Treated Seriously, Angst w Happy Ending 🔥Six Dates & A Funeral by RighteousPunk | M | 54k | Buck and Chimney compete to matchmake Ravi, FWB Hanikkar, Pre-Buddie, Multiple POVs, Fluff, Angst 🔥Ravi and Albert's Guide to Fake Not-Dating by to_be_a_dreamer | T | 49k | Ravi and Albert try to avoid the "118 curse" by hiding their relationship from their friends and family, Secret Relationship, Character Lore, Angst

Other Romantic Pairings 💕

🔥i'm used to loving slowly by waveridden | T | 32k | May/Ravi/Albert, Polyamory, Getting Together, Roommates to Friends to Lovers, POV May Grant, Partial Slowburn

May/Ravi

i'll finally see what it means to be complete by chromatophorica | G | 2k | May/Ravi, Secret Admirer, Gift Giving, Fluff and now this thought drives me mad by ferager | G | 3k | Ravi stresses over a date with May, May/Ravi, Fluff, Supportive Chimney my flower baby (flower baby) by doveious | T | 10k | Five times Ravi got May flowers and one time May got Ravi flowers, Established May/Ravi, Fluff, 5 + 1

Buck/Ravi

after hours by v_greyson (greyson) | E | 13k | Buck meets Ravi's queer friends and they hookup, Buck/Ravi, FWB, Queer Community, Genderplay, Drinking, Explicit Sex 🔥A Guide to Playing Matchmaker for Your Boyfriend by  sammyunhinged | M | 52k | Ravi dates Buck instead of Tommy, Ravi/Buck, Pre-Buddie, Casual Relationship, Sexual Content, Ravi bestie OC 🔥good pretender by likeshipsonthesea | E | 85k | Buck and Ravi FWB, Explicit Sex, Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of Cancer, Indian Culture, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms (Buck's relationship w sex), Buddie slowburn, Multiple POVs

Buddie Driven Plot 🏡

good luck, babe! by QuietLittleVoices | G | 1.5k | Ravi confused by Buddie, Gossiping, Season 7 Setting the implications of observation by intotheblue | G | 1.7k | Ravi being suspicious of Buddie, short and sweet, Relationship Reveal r/AskReddit: Are My Coworkers Dating? by shelfthe_reader | NR | 2.5k | Ravi vents about Buddie on Reddit, Crack, various buddie traumas referenced 🔥The Packer Incident by jade_reads29 | M | 3.5k | Secret Relationship, Trans!Buck, Smut, porn with plot, Buddie mildly traumatizes Ravi new debate topic: is evan buckley a good boyfriend? by writelove | NR | 3.6k | Ravi thinks Buddie are together, Crack Treated Seriously, 118 Game Night, Fluff Just a name by AngyBegins | G | 4.4k | Buck keeps calling Ravi "Eddie", Buck & Ravi Friendship, Eddie goes to Texas Take The Bitter With The Sweet by fruitsdoesnotknow | T | 5k | Ravi being terrorized by platonic Buddie, dumbass4dumbass, the 118 being a family so far away but still so near by 42hrb | T | 6.2k | Eddie becomes friends with Lucy and Ravi, Coming Out, Pining this is it (i can feel it) by withmeornotatall | T | 9k | Ravi's POV of Eddie returning to the 118, Ravi & Lucy Friendship 🔥some things are meant to be secret (and not to be heard) by archerincombat | T | 10k | Sequel to the ravi fic, Established Buddie, Secret Relationship and only Ravi knows, Ravi/OMC (Sebastian ily) Four Can Keep a Secret by Daisies_and_Briars | T | 20k | Ravi and Hen scheme to expose secret relationship Buddie, post-bridge collapse, Miscommunication, Scheming with Henren

@cal-daisies-and-briars @doveious @queerpanikkar @hoediaz @bipitybopitydoo @strawberryspence @thetalee @to-be-a-dreamer @rainbow-nerdss @exhuastedpigeon @fruitsdontknow

@waveridden @chromatophorica @vgreysoncellars @sammyunhinged @likeshipsonthesea @shelfthe-reader @harpermiller @thirteenredvampirebites

⭐️ i apologize if you are not tagged as one of the writers for these works - lmk if i missed your @ so i can credit you 😊

⭐️ if you would like to be tagged in part 2 of my ravi fics (or my upcoming albert and may fic compilation) tag or comment below!!

[firewasabeast]

Bucktommy prompt: Tommy is dealing with chronic pain and Buck helps him through it.

Part 3 of my injured Tommy fic

If Tommy were being honest, there were some positives to being paralyzed. The first time he'd told Evan as much, he'd stared back at him with eyebrows raised and a face that said, “I can't wait to see where this is going.”

So Tommy had gone through the list he'd made in his head.

1. He always got the best parking spots.

2. Little old ladies now helped him in the grocery store.

3. People were constantly opening doors for him.

4. He'd get to board first on a plane... as soon as he and Evan figured out where they were going to go for their honeymoon.

5. Sometimes people let him cut in line.

6. He'd learned how to do some sick ass wheelies!

Buck had laughed along with his list, even adding a few himself.

7. Bigger hotel rooms.

8. Tommy's biceps were larger than Buck thought humanly possible.

9. If Buck got tired of walking, he could just sit on Tommy's lap and get a free ride.

And while these things were all good and true, there were plenty of things that made Tommy's new life far more difficult.

One of which were the body spasms.

He'd been warned about them in the hospital. Had a few of them before he'd been discharged. Learned how to deal with them, for the most part, through physical therapy. He'd also been put on muscle relaxants, sleeping pills, and antidepressants.

Which really only caused more problems, because he spent the better part of a month feeling so doped up that he was asleep more than he was awake.

His doctors changed doses and moved around schedules, trying to find the perfect balance, but Tommy hated the pills no matter what.

They didn't only impact his day to day life, but also his ability and desire for sex.

And God, as his body recovered and he and Buck settled into their new normal, he really wanted to want to have sex.

Adjustments already had to be made do to the reduction of sensation he felt around his pelvis. Things got weaker and weaker from there, reduced to no feeling at all in his legs.

They'd had their quickie wedding at the courthouse in February, followed by a ceremony with family the next month, and started planning a honeymoon in the summer. And that's when Tommy decided he was going to cut back on some of his medications, and cut others out completely. He was not going to spend his honeymoon in a half daze, not caring whether or not his drop dead gorgeous husband was naked on top of him.

Buck had protested at first. He'd made it clear that sex didn't mean everything to him. The things they still did do were pretty damn great, and it wasn't worth Tommy being in pain.

But Tommy insisted.

So they'd met with his doctors and come up with a plan. He could go off the sleeping pills, taking them only when needed. They'd reduce the antidepressant in increments. And muscle relaxants could be used as needed as well.

For the most part, everything went fairly smoothly. His spasticity would rear its ugly head from time to time, but it wasn't anything unmanageable.

Until, one night, it was.

He should have known it was going to be a bad night. He'd been restless and uncomfortable all day long. He'd go from his wheelchair, to the couch, to the wheelchair, to the dining room chair, to the wheelchair, to the bed, then back to the wheelchair.

He'd tried wheeling around the neighborhood, usually enjoying using his arms to push himself around, but today he just felt stiff.

The muscle relaxants in the kitchen cabinet had been calling his name, but he'd resisted. Evan was coming off a forty-eight hour shift tonight, and he'd already texted Tommy a picture of himself all sweaty, no shirt on, telling him he was gonna get himself all cleaned up for Tommy.

And Tommy wanted nothing more than to give him everything he wanted, because he wanted it too. Which was a damn good feeling to have back.

He hoped that sex would help his body relax.

It didn't.

He'd gotten through it though, with a few little twinges of pain in his chest and back. Nothing too severe. And with Buck on top of him, his body flushed red, head tossed back and mouth hanging open, the pleasure overrode the pain.

It didn't get really bad until after Buck had fallen asleep. Tommy wasn't sure how long he laid there, trying to stay as still as possible so he didn't wake Evan.

Even as the pain started to radiate up his back, he clenched his teeth to keep himself from groaning.

Then it went to his chest, causing his breath to hitch. The spasm made his back arch off the bed. If it didn't hurt so bad, he would have made some sort of exorcist joke.

His hands gripped onto the fitted sheet and he could feel a vibration.

His legs were probably shaking. He couldn't feel it, but it always happened when he had these spasms, even the minor ones.

He couldn't hardly get a breath. Not while fighting to be quiet. Not while his back and chest felt like they were becoming harder than a rock.

Finally, he unclenched his jaw and let out a half-moan, half-gasp.

“Ev- Evan,” he huffed out, releasing his grip on the sheet to smack his hand down on the bed. Tommy couldn't quite reach out far enough to touch him. Not when everything was seizing up like this. “Evan!” he repeated, louder this time.

Even in his deep sleep, Buck must've realized something was wrong. One second he was dead to the world, and the next he was jumping up, tossing the covers off of them both.

“What? What's wrong?” he said, clumsily reaching over to the nightstand and turning on the lamp.

Tommy squeezed his eyes shut against the light. He didn't feel like seeing himself right now.

It took Buck's brain a few seconds to catch up to the sight in front of him. When he finally registered what was happening, he headed for the door. “I'm gonna get your meds.”

“No!” Tommy yelled, sucking in a breath. “D- Don't.”

“Tommy, you need your muscle relaxant.”

“I- I can't.” He managed to bring a hand to his throat, hoping Evan understood.

“You can't swallow right now,” Buck replied. It wasn't a question.

“Mhm. Just... Just-”

“Massage?” Buck guessed, getting to Tommy's side of the bed in record speed. “You think that would help this time?”

Figuring out the correct responses to these episodes was always a guessing game. Sometimes touch could make it worse. Tommy was pretty sure nothing could make it any worse right now.

“Mm... Mhm.” His jaw was getting so tight he could barely open his mouth.

“I'm gonna move you onto your side.” Very carefully, Buck turned Tommy's rigid body so he was facing away from him. It was an awkward angle, and he was having to do most of the work to keep Tommy on his side, but he managed to get into a position where he could start to dig the palm of his hand into Tommy's back.

At first, he was so tight Buck worried he was going to hurt him even more by massaging him. But, Tommy's breathing seemed to become a little fuller, and the groaning died down a bit.

So Buck continued. He'd alternate between using his palm, his fist, his thumb, to dig into the muscles and get them to loosen.

After a few minutes, Tommy had quieted down completely. His body relaxed into the bed as he flopped the rest of the way onto his stomach. The shaking in his legs subsided. He no longer felt like he was going to shatter into a million little pieces.

Still, Buck continued his massage. He worked up Tommy's neck, massaged his head, down to his shoulders, his back. He even massaged over his legs and feet, letting Tommy know what he was doing so he wouldn't think Buck had just left the room.

After about half an hour, Buck rested his hand at the center of Tommy's back. “Feel better?” he asked quietly, unsure if Tommy was even still awake at this point.

“Mhm. Thank you,” Tommy replied. He paused, blushing before starting to ask, “Did I... Do I need..?” He couldn't quite get the words out. Did I piss myself? Do I need to get up so we can change the sheets and clean me up?

It happened sometimes, when his body seized up. And while he nearly had full bladder control back, everything went haywire when it came to his spasms.

“No, you're good,” Buck answered, and Tommy thanked whoever might be listening that they were able to read each other's minds. “Think you can turn back over now?”

“Yeah. Yes, I- you'll have to help me though.”

“Of course.”

Once Tommy was resting comfortably on his back, head propped up under two pillows, Buck stared down at him. “You knew it was gonna happen today, didn't you?”

Tommy sighed. There was no point in lying. “Yeah. Not this bad though.”

“And you didn't take a pill earlier?”

“No.”

Buck sucked in a shaky breath as he nodded. He didn't answer. Didn't say a word. He simply turned and headed into the bathroom.

Tommy listened as he turned the sink on. It ran for a while, then Buck was back by his side. He ran a warm washcloth over Tommy's face, Tommy closing his eyes and melting into the touch.

Once Buck had finished wiping off his face, he started on his chest.

Tommy blinked his eyes back open, studying Buck.

He was tense, eyebrows knitted together as he focused on cleaning the sweat from Tommy's body.

Tommy's eyes drifted to Buck's hand, shaking ever so slightly.

He reached out and placed his hand over Buck's, gently gripping his wrist. Finally, Buck made eye contact with him.

“Please don't be mad,” Tommy said, knowing it was unfair even as he said it. Still, he hated to see Evan disappointed. Wasn't sure if he could handle it right now.

But as he looked further into Evan's eyes, he didn't see anger.

He saw fear, and sadness. Red-rimmed, wet with unshed tears that were threatening to spill over.

“M'not mad,” he replied, clearing his throat. “I- I'm upset. I don't like seeing you in pain, Tommy.”

“I know. I'm sorry.”

“You don't have to be sorry. Just don't do it again. I can't... I can't enjoy being with you- having sex with you,” he clarified, “if I think you're hurting yourself for it.”

“I know, Evan. I just... I just wanted to be with you tonight. Wanted to feel good. Wanted to make you feel good.”

Buck tossed the rag onto the nightstand, sitting down on the bed beside Tommy. “You know what makes me feel good?” he started, resting two fingers under Tommy's chin so he couldn't look away. “Seeing you comfortable makes me feel good. Us enjoying dinner together makes me feel good. Going for a walk in the evening, watching movies, going out for ice cream, you holding me in your arms, getting to hold you in mine, kissing you for hours and hours. All those things, plus like a million more, make me feel good. Sex is fun, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it because damn you've got some moves,” he said, getting a smile out of Tommy, “but it's not everything to me. You are everything to me. I know we can't always prevent spasticity, but when we can, it would make me feel good if we did. Got it?”

Tommy nodded, giving himself a few seconds before verbally responding. “You can't just say stuff like that to me, you know,” he said, choked up. “I'm a softy now.”

Buck scoffed, rolling his eyes playfully. “You were always a softy,” he informed Tommy, leaning in for a kiss.

“I'm gonna go get your pills now, okay?”

“Okay.” Before Buck could get too far, Tommy reached out and grabbed at his hand. “Hey. Have I told you lately that I love you?”

Buck cocked his head, giving Tommy a glare. “If you start singing Rod Stewart to me, I will divorce you.”

“No, seriously, Baby,” Tommy said, keeping a straight face. “Have I told you there's no one else above you?”

“I already know a good attorney.”

“You fill my heart with gladness,” Tommy continued, grinning, “take away all my sadness.”

Buck wriggled his hand free of Tommy's grasp, heading out toward the kitchen. “If you hear the front door slam, I'll be back later for my things.”

Tommy's smile only widened as he yelled out, “You ease my troubles, that's what you do!”

[buddierecs]

infidelity buddie fics

this list has different rated fics, so please look at the rating make sure to kudos/comment on these amazing works :) (also i don't condone cheating/infidelity, but i am eating these fics up oops.)

three strikes and you're out by: eightpackdiaz "buck's soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend chooses to ignore him every time the kiss cam points in their direction. eddie does the opposite" word count: 3.1k rating: teen and up important tags: cheating, tommy kinard bashing, kiss cam, jealous!eddie diaz, first kiss, getting together i slept with someone from 118 and all i got was a broken nose (eddie diaz can't relate) by: sterrenhemel ".....still, he punches tommy square in the fucking nose." word count: 4.4k rating: general audience important tags: non-graphic violence, cheating, protective!eddie diaz, tommy kinard bashing, chronic pain, getting together, first kiss counting pulses by: tinydancerr "eddie diaz’s life is going great. he’s in therapy, he’s got a great girlfriend, a great kid, his friend is getting married to the woman of his dreams, and his best friend just came out to him. now his best friend is dating their new friend. things are going great. he promises." word count: 63k rating: teen and up important tags: eddie diaz centric, catholic guilt, ocd, co-parenting, emotional infidelity, therapy, slow burn, jealous!eddie diaz something touched me (like a knife-blade) by: kithmet "eddie self-implodes. christopher, seeking refuge, flees to buck—whose priorities amount to, in varying order: take in the kid, get eddie to talk to him, and keep the three of them afloat in the process. (oh, and tommy’s there too. he thinks.)" word count: 42k rating: explicit important tags: co-parenting, emotional infidelity, possessive behaviour, sexuality crisis, mutual pining, getting together, anal sex, masturbation what if i can't have us by: woodchoc_magnum "in which eddie is dating marisol; buck's dating tommy, and eddie has feelings about that, which he simply does. not. understand." word count: 47k rating: explicit important tags: emotional infidelity, mutual pining, catholic guilt, getting together, team as family, eventual smut oopsie daisy (never knew that was your boo, baby) by: ameliahart "five times Buck cheats on Tommy with Eddie, and one time he doesn't." word count: 5.4k rating: explicit important tags: 5+1 things, cheating, sneaking around, sexting, blow jobs, anal sex, getting together mixed messages by: coldbam "eddie accidentally receives a text meant for buck's boyfriend." word count: 2.6k rating: explicit important tags: cheating, phone sex, sexting, getting together, love confessions how could you not know (all this time) by: deadsapphicssociety "in which the 118 holds a movie night for chris's school, buck's boyfriend is a flaky loser, bobby knows too much, and eddie suffers. greatly." word count: 5.7k rating: mature important tags: cheating, pining, making out, hand holding, frottage, tommy kinard bashing nothing wrong with me loving you by: cranberrymoons "buck and eddie watch red white and royal blue together; one thing leads to another (aka: the sexting fic)" word count: 4.4k rating: explicit important tags: cheating, sexing, dick pics, masturbation, praise kink, dirty talk, dom/sub undertones no place like by: clytemnestra "buck and eddie and the many paths home." word count: 51k rating: explicit important tags: cheating, angst, hurt/comfort, mental health issues, getting together, love confessions drink up (you're wasted on me) by: okanus "eddie and buck hook up at the bachelor party. difficulties ensue." word count: 9.5k rating: explicit important tags: cheating, flirting, sexual tension, drunk sex, hand jobs, possessive!eddie diaz, jealous!eddie diaz, praise kink mask over my eyes and arrow through the heart by: youbetsya "buck is getting married. he is." word count: 35k rating: explicit important tags: emotional infidelity, angst, idiots in love, coming out, jealous!eddie diaz, hand jobs, blow jobs, come eating

[theotherbuckley]

A very late (More than) Seven Sentence Sunday Monday

Tagged over the weekend by: @pirrusstuff @honestlydarkprincess @dangerpronebuddie @smilingbuckley @actualalligator @loveyouanyway @daffi-990 @wikiangela @giddyupbuck @evanbegins @underwater-ninja-13 @diazsdimples @your-catfish-friend @tizniz @jesuisici33 @hippolotamus @disasterbuckdiaz @cal-daisies-and-briars I won't tag anyone cause its Monday(for me) and most people have done it already but if you want to share then please do <3

Ah this is very late but i wrote this from my chronic pain!buck fic yesterday so I thought I'd share. Having a shitty week, or well idk I'm being dumb and sad but oh well here's Eddie comforting Buck which we all need.

He burrows further into the comfort of Eddie’s neck, sniffling. “There’s so much to do,” he says.

“Nothing that can’t be done tomorrow,” Eddie says, rubbing soothing circles across Buck’s back with one hand, the other wrapped softly behind Buck’s neck, holding him gently. 

“I already—already put it off for so long.” 

Eddie pulls Buck away from himself, noticing the way Buck naturally tries to move back towards him. “Hey, look at me,” Eddie says, holding Buck’s face in his hands.

Buck looks up at him, eyes glossy with unshed tears. 

“I have these big arms,” he says, pointing to his arms as he tenses them. “I can do any heavy lifting you need. That includes washing dishes if you so desire.”

Buck huffs out a laugh, but it’s short-lived, his face falling flat as the ache in his leg grows again. He wants the floor to swallow him up and take away every drop of pain from his body. Right now he’d be happy if the floor could just snatch up his leg so he doesn’t have to deal with it. He’s just hurting, and it’s not fair. 

[al-the-remix]

BuckTommy Whump Week Day 4: Prompts: Getting shot // Chronic pain

Another fic for @bucktommywhumpweek! I'm hoping to finish a few more of these before the week is actually over, lol. Rated: E ... I don't know if this really qualifies as whump (like my last whump week fic 💀) but I just can't help making them all sappy atm.

What people didn’t know about bullets was that they rarely went through-and-through in a nice neat manner; not through walls, or car doors, or flesh. They bounced around inside you like a rubber ball, inflicting the most damage possible. 

Buck had seen the aftermath more times than would have liked to. 

The memory of being called to his first GSW was a visceral one, it had been a domestic dispute and once they’d loaded the victim into the bus, Hen had rubbed his back as he’d thrown up into some nearby shrubbery. Buck could still feel the acid burn in the back of his throat when he remembered it. 

He’d seen cadaver photos in his text books, but those never compared to the real thing. The sheer volume of blood that poured out of people was enough to make him nauseous just thinking about it. The cartoonish version of a bullet hole that he’d carried around in his head for most of his life just hadn’t held up. 

Maybe it had been shortsighted of him, but Buck had never taken the time to consider what might come later; not until Tommy had taken Buck’s hand in his own and laid it over the meat of his shoulder and let Buck feel the little knobs of bullet fragments lodged there, like ball bearings trapped beneath his skin. 

“Do they bother you?” Buck asked, in wonder. 

“Not often,” Tommy replied, his hand still blanketing Buck’s as he let him dig his fingers into his shoulder muscle like he would be more than happy to just leave it there forever. “Most of the time I forget they're even there.”

Buck found that hard to believe. He couldn’t imagine having a foreign object stuck in his body and not obsessing over it every moment of every day. 

Tommy was giving him an amused, knowing look. 

“What?” 

“You’re going to be thinking about those for a while aren’t you?”

Buck huffed, rolling his eyes. It was a little unsettling maybe, sometimes, being understood so through and quickly by another person. He liked it; it made him feel all shivery and warm inside, but more importantly it made him feel daring. Bold. 

“Yeah, maybe I will.”

Tommy took Buck’s hand in his own: his palm big, warm and dry, and slid it down to rest on the muscular curve of his outer thigh. “There’s some more over here too,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows as Buck gave all the nice warm flesh there a squeeze.

There wasn’t a lot of talking after that, but Tommy had been right, Buck had thought about it for a while, his mind stuck on invisible scars and mementoes carried around inside you that no one else could see. 

///

Buck wasn’t sure if it was the thunder or the soft orange glow spilling into the mezzanine that woke him. Quiet noises came from the kitchen below, the muted purr of the kettle and the shuffle of Tommy’s socked feet against the tile. Tommy had still been in Buck’s bed when he’d fallen asleep hours ago, tucked up against Tommy’s side as Tommy read by the lamp light.

Buck pulled on his sweatpants and made his way down to the main floor, feeling oddly awake for 4 am. He rarely had a bad night’s sleep when Tommy was with him, taking up space in Buck’s bed and stealing his covers. 

Tommy sent him a guilty look when he noticed Buck, like he’d been caught doing something he shouldn’t have been, not pulling honey from Buck’s kitchen cabinet. He was wearing one of Buck’s old hoodies and some sleep shorts. The circles under his eyes were dark and deep. “I didn’t want to wake you,” he whispered like Buck might be standing there in front of him, still asleep.

“I don’t mind,” Buck said and meant it. He wasn't the one with the shift in far too few hours.

Buck leaned back against the edge of the counter crossing his arms as he did, and settled in. He knew whatever was bothering Tommy would work its way out on its own, like a splinter buried beneath skin. He watched quietly as Tommy stirred honey into his tea. Buck was no stranger to sleepless nights and aching bones. Tommy had sat with him through some of the more recent bad nights, endlessly patient. 

Buck watched him closely, quietly analyzing the tilt of his body and the clench of his jaw as Tommy leaned against the counter opposite him. The cool light from the stove hugged the contours of his face, digging out dark wedges beneath those cheekbones that could cut glass. 

“Well, aren't you gonna ask?”

Buck shrugged. “I figured I'd just wait you out.”

Tommy sighed, setting his mug to the side. He was smart enough to know when he was on the losing side of a battle. “It's the scar tissue around the shrapnel I've still got in me. Every so often it begins to pull in uncomfortable ways and makes it impossible to get settled.”

“Is there anything I can do?”

Tommy tilted his head like he was really considering Buck and his words. “Honestly I don't know, I normally just take an Ibuprofen and put on a movie or something and try to just ignore it.”

“Well, I think we can do better than that,” Buck said, and Tomy raised a brow, curiosity peaked.

With hands planted firmly on Tommy’s shoulders, Buck guided him back upstairs to bed and got him splayed out on his belly across the center of the mattress on a towel, sweater-less, with his arms tucked comfortably under his head. 

“Finally, just where I want you,” Buck teased as he straddled Tommy’s waist, reaching for the massage oil. He could feel Tommy’s laugh vibrate through his ribcage, muffled by the pillow.

Buck admired the span of Tommy’s back as he warmed the oil up between his hands, deciding where to begin. The bullet and shrapnel scars were faint now, Buck knew their locations by memory and feel alone. He started by smoothing his hands up the center of Tommy’s back, following the column of his spine and the thick muscles flanking it, getting Tommy warmed up and used to his touch before applying more pressure. 

Buck always preferred to talk while he worked, and with Tommy the smooth flow of words came easy. If he let himself, he could probably let his mouth run for hours, and Tommy would listen. 

“You know, I wanted to be a masseuse for a while.”

Tommy hummed, his eyes had drifted shut when Buck began to work on the tight knot of tissue just below his shoulder blade, he peeled one open now, offering Buck an amused look over his shoulder. “And which hunky guy did you follow that career into?”

“Ha ha,” Buck said, poking his fingers playfully into Tommy's side, just to watch him squirm. “Actually, it was after working at the ranch, there was this ex bronco rider, who had compressed his spine one too many times, mucking out stalls with me. He told me all about how his girlfriend had taken massage therapy classes to help him with his back because his insurance wouldn’t cover the treatment.” 

“Ah, so it was a hunky girl that time.”

Buck chuckled. He liked how easy it was to talk with Tommy about stuff like this; he wasn’t ashamed of  himself or his past, but he was wary of how people might perceive him because of it. He’d wanted so badly for Tommy to think of him as a serious person, to know that Buck was all in. That dating him didn’t imply some sort of unspoken risk–and with Tommy it never had. 

“You know me–I always liked the idea of helping people, I just didn't know how, yet.” 

“Maybe I’m being selfish, but I think you ended up right where you were supposed to be,” Tommy said, and groaned in pleasure when Buck really started working at the scar tissue webbed deep within his back muscle.

“How’s that feel?” Buck asked, anticipating Tommy's approval.

“Fucking awesome.”

Buck grinned. He knew he was good with his hands, but it was a whole nother thing entirely to be good with his hands for Tommy. Pleased with himself, a heavy satisfaction settled warm in the pit of his stomach. He loved everything about this: having Tommy pliable and relaxed beneath him, working slick skin over with his hands, making Tommy feel good, being able to help in some small way.

Buck shuffled down, straddling Tommy’s leg so he could work his fingers into the outside of Tommy’s thigh where he knew a metal shard the size of his thumbnail lived. That one had been logged in there when an IED had struck the lead vehicle in their convoy, and some of Buck’s satisfaction melted away as he thought about just how many close calls his boyfriend’s body was littered with. He was normally the one getting shit for taking risks, but in truth Tommy was just as guilty as he was. 

Tommy had gone completely boneless underneath him, his skin pink and a little shiny from having Buck’s oiled up hands all over him. He continued to rub gently circles into his skin even after he’d finished with the final shrapnel wound he knew of, running his nails lightly over the thick swirls of hair on the backs of Tommy’s legs. 

Tommy shifted his hips against the mattress, spreading his legs a little wider. Buck knew that move, and that satisfaction in his gut twisted and flared back to life. He slid his hands up the backs of Tommy’s thighs as slowly as he could handle.

“Are you hard?” he asked, worming his fingers under the hem of Tommy’s shorts when he reached them. 

“Yeah,” Tommy sighed. “That felt really good, but, uh, we don’t have to do anything, you must be tired and–”

He was starting to sound way too with it for Buck’s liking. Buck dug his thumbs into the soft inner flesh of Tommy’s thighs and let his hips roll in a slow, pointed drag along the back of Tommy’s leg so there was no way he could miss the semi Buck was sporting.

Tommy’s muscles jumped under his hands as he groaned. “Okay, Okay, you’ve made your point. Help me out of these–”

Buck was more than happy to peel Tommy’s shorts down his legs as Tommy lifted his hips obligingly. He had half a mind to just dump a generous amount of the oil on Tommy’s big pale ass and go to town, but he had a feeling that would probably ruin the [slowly winding] mood they’d built. 

In a show of what he considered great restraint, Buck slipped a slick hand between Tommy’s thighs, rolling his balls softly in the palm of his hand just to hear the noises he would make. Quiet chuffs and deep groans were muffled by the pillow as Tommy ground his hips in lazy circles against the mattress and back into Buck’s hand, and Buck was starting to think he’d never get over how good it felt to have another man like this: a big body to push and pull and work at until it ultimately unraveled.

Buck stretched up so he could press a kiss to the thick curve of Tommy’s shoulder, not caring one bit about the oil that still clung to his skin. He let his hand drift up and rubbed his slick fingers indulgently over Tommy’s asshole, gratified by the way he moaned and pushed into it. 

“You can if you want to,” Tommy said, breathless, and Buck could tell without even looking at his face how gone he was just from having Buck’s hands on him. 

“I have a better idea,” Buck said, pulling at Tommy’s hip. “Here–roll onto your side for me.”

It didn’t take Tommy long to clue in once Buck pressed himself all up along his back and reached for the bottle of oil again, slicking his dick up in the shallow space between their bodies. 

His body tensed when realization dawned. “Yeah. Fuck, yeah. Evan– ” 

And it was Tommy’s turn to lose his cool, his voice reedy and feverish, a thin tremor through his body as Buck maneuvered his thigh so he could fit his dick into that hot, tight space between them. He wrapped an arm around the barrel of Tommy’s chest, pinning him tight against his own as Buck took that first long, indulgent roll of his hips. 

Buck had always enjoyed fucking someone’s thighs–what wasn’t there to like–but there was something specific about the way Tommy got so worked up over it, even in the early hours of the morning after a sleepless night, even when Buck had just worked his body to jello with his hands, that rocketed the act up into the stratosphere.

Tommy squeezed his thighs around him, Buck could hear the labored cadence of his breathing and the obscene sounds of him fisting his own cock, as Buck fucked the slick give of his thighs. The way the head of his dick kept nudging up against the soft resistance of Tommy’s balls with every stroke was still just different enough to scratch at Buck’s brain in new and interesting ways.

Tommy’s fingers dug into his hair, pulling Buck’s face down so he could slide their mouth together at an awkward angle. The kiss was sloppy, Tommy kept sucking Buck’s tongue into his mouth and then breaking away to moan again and again as he got closer to coming. Buck could feel it all through his body, wound like a coil ready to spring. He wasn’t far behind, his plan to keep things slow and simmering had fallen through quickly. He should have known better; with Tommy pressed against him like one big throbbing pulse, overwhelming Buck’s senses with the musky scent of his body, and the sounds he made when he touched himself, and how good it felt to rut against him like this, the desperate slide of skin against skin, there was just no chance he was going to last.  

Buck buried his face in the hollow of Tommy’s shoulder, just above where that pale constellation of shrapnel lived, and stilled as he came in thick pulses all along Tommy’s taint, that little space between his thighs instantly going wet and frictionless. 

Tommy made a wounded sound, and Buck held him tight in the cradle of his arms as Tommy hitched his hips into his fist until he came. He was still pressing kisses against Tommy’s damp hairline when Tommy reached up and laced their fingers together, no longer shaking. 

“Well, I’m definitely not thinking about the stupid shrapnel anymore.”

“Good,” Buck said, allowing himself to feel smug about it. “My work here is done.”

“Not so quick hot stuff,” Tommy said, reaching back to pat him on the hip. “I expect your help de-oiling in the shower. I think this mess is a four-handed operation.”

“Yes, sir.” Buck peeled himself from where he’d been clinging to Tommy like a limpet.

He took a moment to admire the long, glistening stretch of Tommy’s body, limp and satisfied. Debauched, even.

"What?" Tommy asked, stretching his arms above his head as he rolled onto his back, offering Buck a good view of where his come was actively drying in his happy trail. Buck would have a fun time scrubbing that out.

"Nothing, I'm just happy you're here, with me."

Tommy face went immediately soft and he pressed up on his knees so he could pull Buck into one more lingering kiss before breaking away.

"There's no where I'd rather be."

[pansysgothgf]

Thursday Tidbit Tease

I was tagged by the lovely @inell thank you so much!!

Here’s a few paragraphs from my 8b speculation fic! I’m having so much fun putting these two through the blender :)

The realtor is nice, a friend of Eddie’s mom from church. She’s sworn not to tell a soul about the little house two blocks over from his parents place, or about the mortgage loan Eddie’s applying for. He’s not sure he believes her, but whatever.

He’s going to be with his son. He can’t find it in him to care about anything else.

The appointment probably only goes as well as it does because Buck is there, asking all the questions Eddie forgets to. While Eddie was focused on Chris’ needs (close to his school, close to his grandparents, accessible, a pool in the back), Buck focused on… well.

He focused on the things Eddie’s mentioned wanting in a house.

“How’s the water pressure? Does it have a bath? Hot water helps with Eddie’s chronic pain. Oh, where’s the closest fire station?” Buck smiles at the screen, all-American charisma making Jo-Anne melt. “We’re firefighters, I want to make sure the commute isn’t too long, Eds hates driving.”

Jo-Anne giggles, moving so that her cleavage is clearly in frame. “Sorry, did you say you were a friend of Edmundo’s? You know, some of these houses have fully-furnished basement apartments, you moving here too would certainly help out with rent. It would also help with the views in the neighbourhood.”

Without his express permission, Eddie’s hand goes tight on Buck’s knee, where it had been casually resting. Casual and friendly. Just making sure they both stay in frame. Nothing crazy, really.

Buck’s breath hitches, and he nods a little. “Uh, definitely something to think about.”

Which, what? Why would Buck ever move out to El Paso? He hated the humidity in Texas when they went up for the wildfires and he loves everything about L.A.! He even loves driving in L.A., like a crazy person. Not to mention his family is here, the 118 and the Hans, why would he ever give that up?

I’m not going to tag anyone because I’m getting to this pretty late, but feel free to use this as your tag if you’d like to join! (And tag me so I can read it ☺️)

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Weekly Recap | February 26th-March 3rd 2024

8 days!!!!! Only 8 days left!!!! Until then enjoy these fics!!

Complete

doin' something unholy by BekkaChaos/ @bekkachaos (PWP, TikTok, Getting Together | 7K | Explicit): Eddie makes a tiktok account so he can monitor Chris' activity on the app, and he stumbles across Buck’s profile. It’s a lot of silly trends, a couple with Chris (previously Eddie approved), but when he scrolls to the newest video it’s one of those transition thirst traps and oh yeah, Eddie’s been sucked in, hard.

it’s the tapping on the kitchen’s floor by gayedmundodiaz (rose_megan)/ @gayedmundodiaz (Friends to Fiances | 1K | General): Eddie takes a shortcut to 'engaged' thanks to some stress and little bit of pining.

This Is No Hallmark Movie by gayedmundodiaz (rose_megan)/ @gayedmundodiaz (Hurt Buck, Getting Together | 4K | Teen): Buck's impromptu trip to the ICU has Eddie crash-landing into the realization that he's deeply, madly in love with his best friend.

You Are The One by gayedmundodiaz (rose_megan)/ @gayedmundodiaz (Getting Together | 3K | Teen): Eddie finds a drawing of Christopher's from school that sends his feelings careening off a cliff

cause you make life easy by gayedmundodiaz (rose_megan)/ @gayedmundodiaz (PWP, First Time | 2K | Explicit): Eddie and Buck are in love, and it’s so, so easy.

got love-struck, went straight to my head by heartbeatdiaz/ @loserdiaz (Future Fic, Established Buddie, Amnesia | 17K | Teen): The morning of their wedding day, Buck wakes up with amnesia.

too many heartbeats for one ribcage by lamardeuse/ @lamardeuse (Sexuality Crisis, Getting Together | 8K | Mature): Eddie's not queer.

Baby, I'm Never Gonna Leave You by I_still_dont_understand_13 (BTHBingo: Distress Call, Post-S6 | 12K | Mature): "Um... You remember that bracelet I bought Taylor?" Buck asked. Unfortunately, Eddie did. That Christmas was memorable... for all the wrong reasons. "Yeah. Why?" "It's been set off," he said, tilting his head like a confused puppy.

🔥 Ace of Hearts by glorious_spoon/ @glorious-spoon (Post-S6, Getting Together | 9K | Teen): "I've been wondering…" Maddie pauses, watches Buck make a face like he's bracing to be smacked. "What happened with Eddie? You two were dancing around it for so long, and then… what, it just didn't work out? Was the date really that bad?" She's expecting another wince, or even for him to duck out of the conversation entirely, but instead Buck is staring at her like she's grown a second head. "Maddie. I've never been on a date with Eddie." Or: the poker game was a date. It takes Buck a while to catch on, though.

🔥 I'm comin' back, don't let me go by wikiangela/ @wikiangela (Post-S6, Angst | 7K | General): Buck's post-lightning breakdown takes him on a drive through the country, fighting not to give into his dark thoughts - a phone call from Eddie might be all he needs to lead him back home.

We Were Never Meant To Be Someone's Secret by DeadlyChildArtemis / @aroeddiediaz (Madney Wedding, Secret Relationship | 3K | Explicit): Buck and Eddie have been trying to keep their new relationship secret until after Maddie and Chimney's wedding, but strange events keep conspiring to expose them before they're ready. The final straw is when they discover their hotel room at the venue only has one bed...

he speaks the languages of love by glorious_spoon (PWP, Established Buddie, Phone Sex | 4K | Explicit): "Buck. It's been almost two weeks since I've been able to get my hands on you. I'm going out of my mind. Yeah, I want you to tell me how you thought about bending me over the weight bench when I critiqued your gym selfies, or whatever." Or: while Eddie is out of town, he and Buck revisit an old fantasy of Buck's.

you were never meant to carry it on your own by artificalsirens/ @fortheloveofbuddie (Established Buddie, Hurt Buck, Smut | 5K | Explicit): During sex, Buck has a bad chronic pain flare up but wants to continue. Eddie stops him and takes care of him.

🔥 when you know, you know by asteriasera/ @asteriasera (Post-S6, Friends To Fiances | 11K | General): “How did you know you and Karen were ready to get married?” Hen blinks, clearly taken aback by the question. “I didn’t know you and Natalia were so serious.” “We’re not,” he blurts out, face red. “I’m not– I don’t even have a ring, and we haven’t really talked about it, but I was just curious. I mean, you should know since you two got married like, twice, right?” “That’s true.” Hen hums, then huffs out a laugh just the right amount of soft for this sweet pre-dawn moment. “As cheesy as it sounds, I guess that when you know, you know.” OR: After eight months of dating, Natalia begins dropping hints for their future together and Buck begins to question if this is what he really wants. One day later, a proposal is made in a kitchen over tiramisu

i'm thinking we should cross the line by chromatophorica/ @chromatophorica (Canon Divergent, Post-S2, Not Firefighter Buck | 12K | Teen): Following the ladder truck bombing, Buck can't return to firefighting, having to find new passions while maintaining his bonds with the 118. Enter Eddie Diaz, his replacement, and May's scheming takes hold. But that's fine; two can play that game.

i found love where it wasn't supposed to be by chromatophorica/ @chromatophorica (Season 2, Buck&Bobby | 12K | Teen): It’s not until the earthquake that Eddie figures it out. He’d be the same if Chris was there; probably a little more overbearing, but Chris is only seven, so he figures that’d be why. But it makes sense, how focused on Buck that Nash is right then, the similar frantic energy that Buck’s got focusing on the Captain. He’s a little surprised that the LAFD allow a father and son pair to work together OR: Eddie makes some assumptions when he joins the 118, he'd like the record to show he's not entirely wrong.

we can find shelter and peace by chromatophorica / @chromatophorica (Post-S2, 3K | Teen): Following Eddie's graduation from probie to firefighter, the gang talk about their graduations... Until they get to Buck.

like the peel clings to the pomegranate by fallingthorns/ @fallingthorns (Post-S6E10: In A Flash, Getting Together | 3K | Teen): Or, Buck recovers and doesn't quite realize what he means to others.

hey now, hey now by fallingthorns/ @fallingthorns (Canon Divergent, Post-S5E10: Wrapped In Red | 10K | Teen): Or, after returning to the 118, Eddie becomes a full-time paramedic and Ravi becomes Buck's partner. Eddie absolutely doesn't feel anything about that, not at all.

happy at home by fallingthorns/ @fallingthorns (Post-S5, Getting Together | 6K | Teen): Or, the one where Eddie sees Buck with a small kitten, realizes he’s in love, and spontaneously combusts, but not necessarily in that order.

we made it (knew that we would be alright) by honestlydarkprincess/ @honestlydarkprincess (S7 Spec, Buck&Maddie | <1K | General): Maddie asks Buck to walk her down the aisle.

this lovesick thing by fleetinghearts/ @shitouttabuck (Post-S6, Getting Together | 4K | Teen): or, buck is buck: best friend, klutz, star of eddie’s every lovesick daydream. which is to say, things are the same, except maybe what eddie’s willing to ask for

Fractals from the Lightning Bolt by letmetellyouaboutmyfeels/ @letmetellyouaboutmyfeels (One Shots Collection | 52/54 | 95K | Not Rated): A collection of oneshots, some originally posted on tumblr. Each chapter is individually rated.

50. Happy Holidays to the Clown Car (Christmas | Teen) 51. Maybe We're All Sluts Here (PWP | Explicit)

My Worried Mind That You Quiet by giselleslash (Christopher POV, Getting Together | 3K | General): or, Buck and Eddie through Christopher's eyes.

send a flare up in the dark (and i'll come find you) by honestlydarkprincess/ @honestlydarkprincess (Post-S6, Getting Together | 7K | Teen): Buck and Natalia are hanging out at a bar, with Natalia watching in amusement as Buck pines. She gets distracted when Lucy shows up so Buck starts drunk texting Eddie and eventually Eddie comes to get Buck, but not before Buck accidentally confesses his feelings not realizing that Eddie is there. Did Buck just fuck up or do they both get everything they've ever wanted?

you are so gorgeous it makes me so mad by bellabrady (Post-S6, Getting Together | 5K | Not Rated): Or: Eddie is annoyed with Buck for being so very kissable but his drunk self isn't the best at phrasing things.

what to do when evan buckley breaks into your house at 3:17 in the morning by oklahoma/ @sunshinediaz (Getting Together | 3K | Teen): After a night out drinking with Maddie, Buck (kind of) breaks in to Eddie’s house.

Orange Peels & Coffee by bibuckleyforever/ @bibuckleyforever (Post-S6, Getting Together | 2K | General): Eddie finds out about the Orange Peel Theory and it leads to some important realizations.

some of it's just transcendental by fallingthorns/ @fallingthorns (Accidental Kissing, Getting Together | 2K | Teen): Buck smiles as Eddie leans in and presses a soft kiss to his lips, and Buck feels himself grinning further against his mouth and kissing back before Eddie pulls away, too soon and with that same soft smile on his lips. He eases the bags fully out of Buck’s arms and turns to head into the kitchen, and Buck watches him go with such a fond smile that he feels like he’s going to explode. And then he freezes and stares at Eddie’s retreating form, his heart constricting in his chest as his brain struggles to catch up with the events of the last twenty seconds. Because kissing? Is not something they have ever done before.

that green light, i want it by asteriasera / @asteriasera (Post-S6, One Night Stand, Getting Together | 11K | Mature): Buck and Eddie hook up after Maddie and Chim’s wedding, then spend an inordinate amount of time not talking about what it means until the universe decides to intervene.

WIP

i got a bad desire, i'm on fire by diazbegins/ @evanbegins (PWP, Pet Play | 1/2 | 8K | Explicit): Or: Eddie finds that he wants Buck to treat him like a kitty. Buck can make that work.

if i need to rearrange my particles — i will for you. by dylaesthetics (Post-S6, Identity Porn | 6/11 | 22K | Teen): OR Buck joins a support app for first responders and matches with a firefighter who has PTSD and a kid who likes giraffes, apparently.

🔥 Things We're All Too Young to Know by Daisies_and_Briar / @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon S1-S6, S7 Spec | 120/? | 362K | Mature): This is a love story. Even if it doesn’t always look like it. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it. A look back on Eddie and Buck's lives up to now, and what led them to each other, interpreted from the current 9-1-1 canon.

🔥 Any Other Way by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Canon Divergent, S2 | 4/18 | 25K | Mature): In a switcheroo alternate universe, Buck spends young adulthood in the military, while Eddie, who has no idea Christopher exists, spends his twenties messing around, finally enjoying freedom away from his family’s expectations. When they both end up in Los Angeles, at the 118, some things are different, and others will be the same in any universe.

🔥 because we'll all arrive in heaven alive by callmenewbie/ @puppyboybuckley (Post-S6, Disaster Fic | 7/9 | 51K | Explicit): During a search and rescue, Eddie disappears without a trace, leaving Buck to grapple with the sudden possibility of a life without him.

[sunnywiththestars]

Hi! Do you have any BuckTommy fic recs?

yes!! here you go!!!

I tried to tag anyone's tumblr that i could find but there were a few i couldn't so it's only straight to the fic on ao3

you keep his shirt, he keeps his word by perfectlysunny @perfectlysunny02

"Evan, baby, you okay? It’s late. I thought Chimney’s party was tonight.” “Tommy,” Buck gasps, almost dropping his phone in his excitement . “You’re here. See that, Eds, magic is real. He’s here.” “Sweetheart, you called me, remember,” Tommy says. “Evan, baby, are you drunk?”

A (Not So) New Hoodie by littlebipolarsunshine

In which Buck doesn't look very closely when putting on a hoodie before going to work.

Pancakes, kisses, and a little bit of TLC by theotherlucifer @theotherbuckley

“Evan?” Tommy asks, his voice deep and gravelly. If it were any other day, Buck would find that incredibly attractive. Unfortunately, he isn’t able to enjoy it. Now that he’s aware of the pain in his leg, it only seems to get worse. His leg throbs; it feels like his bones are trying to bully their way out of his flesh. He clenches his eyes shut as he wills the wildfire that burns through his limb to calm down. “‘M fine,” he gets out through a clenched jaw. Tommy squints at him, tilting his head to the side. “Evan,” he repeats in a way that Buck knows means he doesn’t believe him for a second. (or Buck wakes up with a chronic pain flare-up the morning after, and Tommy takes care of him)

Hold me on my bad day by disasterbuckdiaz @bidisasterevankinard

Tommy had a bad day, has an awful morning he starts as blanket burrito, but his boyfriend's cuddles make it better

the universe is screaming (are you listening?) by pigalle

Buck, still running on frantic panic of being late, stops short. When he looks down at himself, he sees that he is indeed wearing one of Tommy’s LAFD Air Operations t-shirts. “Uh,” Buck says, ever so eloquently. “Why are you wearing Tommy’s shirt?” Chimney asks, and really, that’s a valid question. Or, 5 times the universe conspires to reveal Buck and Tommy’s relationship, plus 1 time it’s quite obvious

come and save me from it by devirnis @devirnis

“Dinner and a show,” Evan comments, his eyes zeroed in on where Tommy’s sleeves are pushed up to his elbows. “Maybe I should get sick more often.” Tommy flicks a small piece of ginger at him. “If you wanted me to cook for you, all you had to do was bat those pretty eyelashes of yours.” It happens so quickly. One second Evan is grinning exhaustedly at him, and the next thing Tommy knows, Evan’s eyes go wide as what little colour he has left drains from his face. Tommy makes an aborted move towards him, but Evan shoves his chair back from the island and bolts for the bathroom.

Right In Front of Me by Princessfbi @princessfbi

Tommy’s brows knitted together as his mouth turned down with worry. “Evan,” he said and Buck wanted to hear him call his name so many more times. “What happened? Did someone choke you?” “That’s what I was trying to tell you,” Buck said, clearing his throat again when his voice gave an embarrassing squeak.

Like a Music That's Been Transposed by Faillen @faillen

“Hey there, stunner,” Tommy murmured against his mouth once they’d pulled away. “Stunner?” Evan asked, smile bunching up his cheeks. “That’s a new one.” “Mhmm,” Tommy said, pressing a kiss to one of those lovely red cheeks. “You like it?” Evan ducked his head, “Yeah, that one’s uh. That’s pretty good.” His eyes cut back to Tommy and his mouth twisted into a thoughtful moue. “I don’t really have any for you.” “Eh,” Tommy said. “I’m not a big endearment guy.” Or: Tommy grows into his name.

do you mind? im pining by tinygiantsam @watchyourbuck

He slammed his glass onto the table, sitting upright as he coughed into his hand. His eyes watered, but he couldn’t tear them away from the scene before him. He hadn’t imagined it. They were holding hands. OR: 7x05 spec fic. Buck and Tommy have their first date. Eddie is jealous about it. (Includes Buck and Tommy making out at the loft + Eddie dealing with complicated feelings towards his best friend).

those hands pulled me from the earth by star_shot (throw one of my own in there-)

Tommy’s eyebrows were raised as he stood and waited for an explanation. “I believe that I promised you a dance tonight.” Buck says, a softer smile graces his lips. “It is 4 o’clock in the morning.” -- OR - after the disaster of the day, Buck still finds a way to fulfill his promise to Tommy.

a lovely collection of fics, happy reading!!

and anyone else please feel free to add on another other bucktommy recs you have or even your own works!

[kitkatpancakestack]

Ah whatever, feeling extra melancholic by my lack of drive to write anything lately. Chronic depressed burnout brain is no joke fellas! Anyway. This is the last thing I wrote forever ago, part of a darker Buck-centric fic I've been planning to write for a while but will probably never finish. Just felt like sharing something!

Even to his best friend, his person—his soulmate, when he’s being honest with himself—he doesn’t know how to say it. That even at Buck’s lowest, Eddie has never seen him stripped bare, degloved; never seen him as nothing but exposed bone. Raw nerve. Dripping muscle and sinew. He’s never seen Buck as the knife, only as the hand removing the knife. Buck just wouldn’t know how to start, how to explain to Eddie the tightrope he walked for most of his life, nothing but a catastrophe on either side if he fell. Wouldn’t know how to explain that he never learned where to put the anger, so he just let it rot and grow new buds deep in his core, in his gut. That he tries to be good. He wants to be good. He is good. He is good, isn’t he, even with the blood staining his skin, smearing over Eddie’s face? Isn’t he? Isn’t he?

Eddie’s face is unwavering in front of him, bloody hands cupping Buck’s bloody face. 

He wants to say to Eddie: I feel my childhood like a rope around my neck.

He wants to say: I feel my anger like a knife in my stomach.

He wants to say: I feel my fear like a broken bone that never healed.

Didn’t he spend all that time running away from himself? He thought the ghost hadn’t chased him to LA, that it’d finally left him alone. Evan Buckley. Buck, now. Somebody new. Somebody different. Somebody good.

“It’s okay,” Eddie is telling him, fingers slick through Buck’s matted hair, trailing lines of red down Buck’s face. He can feel the sticky path they leave behind, chilly and damp. “We’ll figure this out. You and me. We’ll figure this out, Buck.”

Buck curls into himself, protecting the soft skin of his belly that he’s certain is nothing but a rotted core, that if Eddie touches him there his entire torso will cave in. And the anger he spent years burying will scurry out. 

“You and me,” Eddie tells Buck, a mantra, like this entire situation isn’t completely fucked. “You and me, man. It’s always you and me.”

And Buck wants to tell him: Some parts of me never left my childhood home. They never moved on.

That he’s grown up, but his pain and his anger have stayed the same age.

I wish everyone a very lots of writing <3

[buddierecs]

chronic pain/illness buddie fics

this list has different rated fics, so please look at the rating (none are explicit tho) make sure to kudos/comment on these amazing works :)

featherlight by: rogerzsteven "1 time buck tends to eddie's shoulder pain and 1 time eddie tends to buck's leg pain." word count: 5.2k rating: general audience important tags: chronic pain, hurt/comfort, taking care of each other, whump cause i will be your safety by: rogerzsteven "buck has a leg cramp. eddie helps him as he can." word count: 2.2k rating: general audience important tags: chronic pain, hurt/comfort, sharing a bed, eddie diaz taking care of evan buckley

life ain't always beautiful by: ficoracle "5 times buck dealt with his chronic pain...and one time he doesn't have to deal with it alone." word count: 15k rating: teen and up important tags: chronic pain, 5+1 things, hurt/comfort, whump i keep you in my locket by: lizzybizzyzzz "eddie takes care of buck's chronic pain on their three month anniversary" word count: 3.1k rating: teen and up important tags: chronic pain, established relationship, hurt/comfort, idiots in love buddha's arrow by: kristen999 "how buck helps eddie learn to cope with chronic pain." word count: 3.6k rating: general audience important tags: chronic pain, hurt/comfort, injury recovery sweet as sugar by: tizniz "buck gets diagnosed as diabetic." word count: 8.5k rating: general audience important tags: chronic illness, worried!eddie diaz, protective!eddie diaz, friends to lovers

the legacy of a bowling ball by: rosefield "it starts with a headache. it starts with a headache. and it ends as he falls to the ground, lock jawed, the world fading away." word count: 10k rating: teen and up important tags: chronic illness, concussions, seizures, disassociation, hurt/comfort, getting together maybe one day by: honestlydarkprincess "eddie has a migraine, christopher convinces him to call buck, and buck takes care of his boys." word count: 1.1k rating: teen and up important tags: chronic illness, migraines, sick!eddie diaz, pining, evan buckley taking care of eddie diaz, sharing a bed, cuddles shelter my eyes from the sun (and wait for the birds to fly by) by: lizzybizzyzzz "an evan buckley character study" word count: 25k rating: mature important tags: TW: implied/referenced self harm, suicidal thoughts, implied/referenced sexual assault, childhood trauma, abandonment issues, chronic pain, ptsd, getting together, love confessions