#christmas calls

[30somethingautisticteacher]

Just a little bit of Christmas Crack

***

"No, no, I definitely have the winner," Hen said. "10-year-old female tripped and impaled herself in the eye with a sharpened candy cane."

The table of seasoned first responders collectively shivered, a mix of horror and professional fascination crossing their faces.

"No way. Mine's better," Chim challenged. "28-year-old man, allergic reaction to eggnog-flavored lubricant."

The whole table groaned at the thought of that.

"How am I the first to mention the Christmas Brawl of 2022?" Eddie asked. "Siblings got into a knock-down, drag-out fight over some Christmas ornament and were throwing punches on the front lawn dressed in reindeer costumes."

Bobby nodded, a wry smile crossing his face. "Now that was a Christmas to remember. I think Eddie may be our winner."

"Not so fast, Diaz," Maddie began. "I think dispatch has got this one in the bag. In fact, just last night we got a very interesting call."

Tommy started to turn red as Buck looked at her with pleading, horrified eyes.

"41-year-old male and his 34-year-old boyfriend decided to have a bit of fun with some Christmas roleplay," Maddie said, her voice matter-of-fact.

The eyes of the table widened, a mix of shock and anticipation.

"Maddie..." Buck begged, his voice a desperate whisper.

"Apparently, the older man was able to put the Santa suit on initially, but his little elf worked him up so much that the pants became too tight to get off."

The room erupted in a combination of groans, laughs, and looks of secondhand embarrassment. Buck looked like he wanted to disappear, while Tommy's face had turned an impressive shade of crimson.

"Don't worry, the 122 got everything all squared away," Maddie said.

"Yeah, but Sal's never gonna let me live it down," Tommy said.

"Deluca was there?" Bobby asked. "Maddie, I'm sorry, but Tommy deserves this win more than you do. Sal will be telling this story as part of his eulogy."

Buck pulled Tommy close, capturing his lips in a kiss that silenced the table's laughter.

"Worth it," he murmured against Tommy's mouth.

"Best Christmas ever," Tommy whispered back, grinning.

[halebop-s-art]

The diagram for the classic Origami Goat, with a twist to make its horns curve ! It's from this video by by Origami Word, but it seems to be a pretty old/intemporal design that a lot of people have made. I could not find a diagram online so I made one.

(If you make her in yellow/orangy-yellow, then decorate her with red ribbons, you can make your own origami gävlebocken ! )

[juiche]

a moment of peace before the whole world shatters 😇

get your own print here ❤️

[sleepysebris]

on a date under a bridge in the rain, as any dignified emo does

something about Adrien being nonverbal in the paris special (at least in the english version) really stuck with me, and I keep thinking about the potential for role reversal in their early relationship where Marinette is the one who is accommodating to her socially awkward and flustered boyfriend. and the sheer contrast of his confident personality when transformed even after their identities are revealed, I can't get over that either. Anyway! Ashville Secret Santa gift for @frostedpuffs !!!💕 :)

[egophiliac]

still ruminating over Lost In the Book With Spooky Skeletons Part 1, so here's a selection of some of my favorite little bits! (...some more loosely paraphrased than others) (I just feel like Idia has no room to criticize in general, okay)

anyway, I'm sure we're just going to have a fun time celebrating Halloween and nothing bad is going to happen whatsoever! :)

[dirigibleplumbing]

if you love Christmas but also want to be kind and inclusive toward people who don't, or simply don't celebrate, here's my #1 tip.

stop lying about Christmas.

if the only "holiday" your holiday party includes is Christmas, call it a Christmas party.

if your "holiday" fandom event only uses Santa and Christmas graphics and is centered around the date of Christmas, call it a Christmas event (that is, presumably, open to non Christmas-celebrating fans).

if your "holiday" fic recs only contain Christmas fic, call it a Christmas rec list.

[gongyussy]

j… jesus oppa ;____;

[thetiredprometheus]

It’s that time of year again where everyone and their mother watches it

[noodles-and-tea]

This trope would be so funny for them

[akimao]

✨

Based on this post

[thundersoothers]

John Price who does whatever his wife wants 🫡🫡 MA’AM YES MA’AM!!

I think he’s a lover for real and is a sucker for his wife like whatever she wants he will do or he will get. Calls her “The Missus” and “The Wife” but will never call you “the ball and chain” and frowns at people who call their wives that

He’s all “my wife this” and “my wife that” blah blah blah I love my wife yes my wife my wife my wife

And when you come home with a dog at 2AM drunk as fuck sobbing over it because you found it on the street and it’s so cute and little and you’re like “pleaseeeee please baby it’s so cute I know you said no pets, but pleaseeee!” he’s like oh my fucking god, fine. Yes you can have the dog

And he’s the type to say I don’t want the dog, it’s yours not mine, but then you come home after work and he’s training it how to protect you, and also he says no dogs in the bed and then he will cuddle the dog to sleep while you have to big spoon him

I love this man I wanna be his wife

MORE ABOUT THIS HERE

AND HERE

[emmster]

Day 1 of the 12 days of Ghoapmas

[lenny-link]

merry smissmas everyone 🎄

[remxedmoon]

i got it!

(og panels below!!)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIFFRIN!!! <- i say, scheduling this to post at midnight september 2nd. it’s his birthday somewhere!! and also loops birthday but look i had a deadline here. don’t ask why This of all things is their birthday art. i make normal choices!!!

also. somehow this entire thing only took 4 and a half hours??? insanity. i literally started this Today. thats how it Gets Me i suppose. anyways!!!! here’s the og panels!! no colored version this time, i didn’t think it’d fit the scene. also i didn’t want to render 3 colored panels.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

personal happiness or what the fuck ever

bonus:

[iero]

Life's no fun without a good scare!

THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS — Henry Selick (1993)