#christian disciples

[biblebloodhound]

Watch Out For the Millstones (Mark 9:38-50)

All of us have a responsibility to protect and promote the common good of all persons, and the social good of the community.

John said to him, “Teacher, we saw someone casting out demons in your name, and we tried to stop him because he was not following us.” But Jesus said, “Do not stop him, for no one who does a deed of power in my name will be able soon afterward to speak evil of me. Whoever is not against us is for us. For truly I tell you, whoever gives you a cup of water to drink because you bear the name of…

[seraphimfall]

i’ve read so much tradcath bullshit the last two years. i can confidently say tradcath men fit into one of two categories:

“protestant-raised and converted to catholicism because of his crippling porn addiction and racist tendencies. reposts crusader and conquistador memes. is hated in his local parish.” tradcath

“catholic-raised band kid who ate his lunches with the religion teacher. smells like mildew. cut off all his friends that came out as gay after high school. now larps as an aquinian scholar and cries after jerking off.” tradcath

[not-so-superheroine]

Jesus is my older brother, not my dad.

other christians don't seem to feel the same?

am i missing something where he insists on such a thing except perhaps with actual little children?

[tomicscomics]

08/11/2023

Eastern Orthodox Shark Week.

JOKE-OGRAPHY: This comic features a famous episode from the Bible where Jesus walks on water to get to His disciples' boat, which is stuck in a storm.  In this cartoon, however, Jesus is accompanied by a new disciple, a megalodon (giant shark) named Mary.  He calls her "Mary Megalodon," which sounds like "Mary Magdalene," another of Jesus's loyal disciples (the woman who's stowed away in the last panel).  Mary Megalodon is not actually in the canonical books of the Bible.

[illustratus]

The Betrayal of Christ by Philip James de Loutherbourg

[thegardenofbae]

Hallelujah! The tomb is empty.

Happy Easter 🤍✨

[aniah-who]

I don’t want mainstream Christianity. I want Jesus. Stop playing with me.

[picklepie888]

We Don't Talk About Judas (Biblical Encanto Parody)

PETER

We don't talk about Judas no no no

We don't talk about Judas

But

It was the Passover

ANDREW

It was the Passover

PETER

We were all together and we're passing the bread and the wine

ANDREW

Passing the bread and the wine

PETER

Jesus comes through

With some upsetting news

ANDREW

Traitor!

PETER

Are you telling the story or am I?

ANDREW

I'm sorry dear brother go on

PETER

Jesus said 'I'll be betrayed'

ANDREW

Why would He tell us?

PETER

Upon this news, we're all dismayed

ANDREW

The whole room was in chaos!

PETER

Who of us would dare betray?

ANDREW

We're not naming names

But we'll just say

BOTH

We don't talk about Judas no no no

We don't talk about Judas!

MATTHEW

Hey! Grew to be weary of Judas's intentions

None of us suspected his crime beyond comprehension

I equate him to the sound of coins hitting the floor (clang, clang, clang)

How could we remiss

With a kiss, he touches

Failed to keep our Rabbi out of the Romans' clutches

Choking on his guilt until he can't breathe anymore

Gone forevermore

JOHN

Thirty pieces

Of silver in his sack

When the night ceases

He stabs us in the back

He had seeled our doom

Led Jesus to His tomb

ALL

(Hey) We don't talk about Judas no no no

We don't talk about Judas

JEWISH VILLAGER 1

They say He was sacrificed

To pay our cost! (No no)

JEWISH VILLAGER 2

The Romans had dragged Him off

To Pilate, their boss! (No no)

JEWISH VILLAGER 3

He said that Jesus of Nazareth

Would hang on the cross! (No no)

ALL

The Hebrews mourned

Our most devastating loss!

MARY MAGDALENE

He told me

That upon this day three

Not to worry for He will soon rise

He told me

The Messiah will come

And our souls will be made divine

PETER

He told me

Before that next morning

I'll deny him times three

Upon the cock's crowing

It's like I hear it now

It's like I hear it now!

I can hear it now!

MATTHIAS

Um...Judas

Yeah, about that Judas

I really need to know about Judas

Give me the truth and the whole truth

Judas!

ZECHARIAH

Hey the King of the Jews is here!

ALL

He has risen!

(Overlap of Peter/Andrew, Matthew, John, and Mary Magdalene verses)

ALL

He's here!

Don't talk about Judas

MATTHIAS

Why did I talk about Judas?

ALL

Not a word about Judas

MATTHIAS

I never should've brought up Judas!

[ghostsmp3]

there's just something about john vs judas. the beloved vs the betrayer. the witness vs the instigator. the insider vs the outsider. the hug vs the kiss. being the last to die vs the first. graced by god vs praised be god.

[artandthebible]

The Calling of Saints Peter and Andrew

Artist: Michelangelo Merisi da Caravaggio (Italian, 1571-1610)

Date: c. 1602-1604

Medium: Oil on Canvas

Collection: The Royal Collection Trust, London, United Kingdom

Description

Christ gestures ahead while turning back to the brothers Simon (later Peter) and Andrew, who have been fishing by the Sea of Galilee. He says 'Follow me and I will make you become fishers of men'. The fishermen's weather-beaten faces and hands eloquently express astonishment, confusion and fear.

The subject of this painting comes from St Mark's Gospel (1:16-18): Jesus saw Simon (later called Peter) and his brother Andrew fishing by the Sea of Galilee and said, 'Follow me and I will make you become fishers of men'. A young Christ, unusually shown without a beard, gestures out of the painting in the direction in which he is moving, while turning back to the two brothers. Peter holds two fish skewered on sticks and starts back in surprise; Andrew points to himself incredulously. The composition seems to imply that Christ will walk calmly off to the right, without looking back again, and that the other two figures (after a due period of astonishment and reluctance) will find themselves following.

[cowboysprayer]

reading "the man jesus loved: homoerotic narratives from the new testament" by w. jennings jr. and all of it has been super eye opening. this excerpt from a paper by canon hugh montefiore is just one of like a million parts that i've highlighted so far (i'm not even halfway through)

[biblebloodhound]

To Believe, or Not (Mark 16:9-18)

There are some who may search for evidence their entire lives, never to find it, because they want confirmation by means of their own mentally contrived and culturally conditioned constructs.

The risen Jesus appears to his disciples, by Unknown Italian artist, 1476 [Note: The earliest manuscripts and some other ancient witnesses do not have verses 9–20.] When Jesus rose early on the first day of the week, he appeared first to Mary Magdalene, out of whom he had driven seven demons. She went and told those who had been with him and who were mourning and weeping. When they heard that…

[seraphimfall]

i’m sorry but even if your personal version of mormonism excludes all the “if you’re a good mormon your skin will turn white when you die, no matter your race” and “dark skin is a sign of the devil” bs, your religion is still racist.

the idea that israelites sailed across the atlantic ocean and formed a population in north america that could be attributed to native americans is racist.

the idea that jesus christ appeared to native americans and converted them to christianity pre-colonial times is racist.

the idea that the arrival of christianity to north america with european colonialism was a prophesied “reintroduction” of christianity is racist.

the foundations of your religion are racist.

the foundations of your religion are historical negationism.

the foundations of your religion justify american colonialism as the will of god.

try as hard as you want, it’s impossible to remove racism from mormonism. it’s racist by nature.

[idylls-of-the-divine-romance]

Pros of becoming a mystic

Usually very attractive

See the world from a divine perspective

See visions of the future

Privacy

Eroticism

Gender nonconforming

Great education, very well read, and very poetic

God is love and God is love and God is love

Super cool and famous and much beloved in the future

Cons of becoming a mystic

Exile

Possible sex assault attempt (???)

Sickness

Getting thrown to the lions

More sickness

HORROR!!!!!

Slavery

Getting thrown into fiery furnaces

Did I mention sickness? Bitter sickness.

Double the horror if you're both a mystic AND a prophet

Getting thrown into boiling oil

Exile. Again.

[tomicscomics]

02/03/2023

Jesus breaks out the condemnents.

___

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is one of my longest comics yet!  It was grueling to carefully pen all twelve panels with meticulous attention to pacing and love in every digital brushstroke, but I hope you guys know that I'd do anything to bring you the absolute HIGHEST quality cartoons I'm capable of making!

JOKE-OGRAPHY: Jesus tells His disciples that they are the salt of the earth, called to be honorable and valuable to God, but if they don't live up to their calling, they'll be like salt that loses its taste, losing that value in turn.  Jesus asks them, "If salt loses its taste, with what can it be seasoned?"  One disciple pipes up and recommends ketchup, though the question was rhetorical.  So strange is this answer, and so rhetorical was the question, that Jesus simply stares at the disciple for 9 panels straight before saying that ketchup was not the answer to the -- once again -- rhetorical question.

[illustratus]

The Miraculous Draft of Fishes by Raphael