#chris: *infodumps*

[mildlysentientboots]

The last panel made me laugh so fucking hard. "Anyways..."

[chrisrin]

AVENTURINE!!!!!! HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!

[demelly]

sobbing over them WAAUGH <\\\3

[yes-asil]

During a trip in search of insects, Martin gets swept away by a stormy river current, leaving a guilt-ridden Chris to comb through the forest for him.

Have fun with this 8 year old plot bunny I took out of a dusty folder

[problemcore]

im normal

[illeniram]

gone.

[ratgingi]

thinking about the first time i brought randy plush to therapy with me and apologized to my therapist for it abd he was just like no its ok if thats who i think it is he needs this as much as you do

[emmaspolaroid]

too much to liiiive too much to die forrrr

[yeah-alright-brill]

Ok OK OK so this is something I've wanted to show off for a while....

Heeheee OK so this is the earliest piece of visual Chrishaz fan-media I can find, coming to us preserved from The Railway Arms fan forum via the Wayback Machine from 13/06/2008!! (Just under 3 months after series 1 ended) Original post:

Credit of course to the owner, Queenof7oaks and the creator CarrotLucky 13 (and Tash for helping get it on there!) For context, the thread is a vote about which LoM/A2A het ship is the best. Chrishaz came last because the world is sick and twisted, Galex and Sannie tied. Oh and the user's profile picture is also Chrishaz themed, being a gif on the storage room scene from 1×5. (You can just about make out Shaz having a feel of Chris' arse in this screenshot) so between that, and the banner, and the voting I think it's safe to say queenof7oaks was a chrishaz shipper lol. I wonder where they are now, I guess they're probably, like, middle aged now. It's cool that this tiny ship has touched people across time and Internet space to post their silly painfully earnest little edits. Unfortunately, the "Chris and Shaz" discussion thread was one of the ones what wasn't archived by the Wayback Machine, which is such a massive shame. A place just for Chrishaz would have been really cool to see because usually you have to wade through a sea of Galex to find anything. Unfortunately, the Ashes only Luigi's forum was even less lucky and is completely lost to time. The thought of there being Chrishaz trapped on there that's forever lost hurts my heart.

[solemn-summer]

Your reply is so kind! 😭 Thank you so much!

This isn't strictly relevant to the post, but I wanted to share because it's so interesting: there have also been some developments concerning Chris's exact cause of death!

Initially they thought it was starvation—and it was—but it's now believed that he was also gradually poisoned by the wild potato seeds he foraged, rendering him increasingly unable to continue hunting and gathering (much less hike out of the area). His field guide contained no warnings about the seeds because they were not known to be dangerous at the time. In fact, Chris's death was the very catalyst that led researchers to formally recognize the seeds of Hedysarum alpinum as dangerous!

Near the end of his life, Chris speculated in his journal that the potato seeds were the cause of his weakness and impending death. Haunted by this journal entry, Krakauer facilitated decades of research into the matter. It was only revealed in 2015 that the seeds Chris ate are typically harmless to humans (in trace amounts), but highly toxic to those whose bodies are under extreme stress, namely malnutrition.

So yes, Chris McCandless died of starvation—but considering his body was found just two weeks later, it's hard to understate the role these seeds likely played in his death. Krakauer, for his part, is confident that Chris would have been found alive if he hadn't eaten them.

The matter is briefly touched on in the links above, but if you're interested, you can read the full story from NPR or the New Yorker.

ethical true crime (listening to stories about rich idiots who believe they can solo backpack incredibly dangerous places and ignore all the local's warnings to turn around)

[nubuckleather]

Buck and Chris spending a quiet afternoon at the library reading and occasionally infodumping at each other

meanwhile Jee is having the time of her life hollering at the top of her tiny lungs at a monster truck rally with Uncles Tommy and Eddie

[poughkeepsies]

no but literally!! none of buck's girlfriends ever let him be the babbling soft earnest man he is. none of them ever found it endearing and sweet and then tommy TOMMY smiles as buck babbles and then FLIRTS with him. tommy clocks buck's anxiety!! tommy likes him because he's a weird little guy and would probably let him infodump on whatever's the new thing buck and chris are reading about. im going to go bury my head in the ground like an ostrich

YESYEYSTEYSYEYS I'm sorry but NONE of his girlfriends have treated him with such softness and that's what he NEEDS it's what he DESERVES TOMMY KINARD HAND IN MARRIAGE!!!!!!

[chrisrin]

What did bismuth Dirk make Hal FOR?

ALRIGHT! TIME FOR MY SECOND STORY DUMP! We need a bit of context before we get to Hal, so bear with me. (this is a long as fuck post)

SO! Dave and Dirk both come from Homeworld, as all gems do. I'm not super sure on the exacts, as the Alpha Kids are the first ones to leave together and they pick up the Beta Kids later but, we're kind of floating around the idea of Bro being Yellow Diamond or having some sort of equivalent power. Both Dirk and Dave are gems under Yellow, Dirk being a Bismuth and Dave being a Carnelian.

Plot stuff happens, Dirk escapes and at some point comes back to get Dave and now they have a whole squad and all that, yadda-yadda. However, during their escape from Homeworld, something Bad happens and causes Dave to get injured (don't know what it is yet but it's something)

Dave's gem gets cracked but everyone still makes it out okay. Due to whatever the circumstances are surrounding this, only Dave and Dirk know of the status of Dave's gem, Dave starts wearing actual clothing upon getting to Earth to hide his cracked gem, using the excuse that it's cool and he's trying to vibe with the style.

Dirk is a Bismuth, he's been trained his whole life to create weapons of war and things for destruction, and now, faced with one of the people he's come to care about most, it's the one time he can't fix a problem by putting a hammer to it. He can't help Dave, and Dirk blames himself for letting Dave get hurt in the first place, thinking he wasn't strong enough to protect him.

As time goes on, Dave gets worse, and especially after escaping Homeworld, Dave's cracked gem prevents him from spawning his weapon. This means Dave is filled with trauma on top of feeling deeply defenseless, coming from a place where having a weapon on you at all times was the only thing keeping you alive.

Dirk, watching Dave's deterioration, decides that enough is enough and he seeks out Pink Diamond. Upon finding Feferi, Dirk trades in something (A deal? A service?) in exchange for some of her healing material. He brings it to Dave and heals his gem.

So, you'd assume everything's fine and dandy now, right? Surely.

But no, it's Dirk, so it's not.

Dirk looks at this situation and says, "I'm never going to let this happen again" and concludes that the reason Dave got hurt was because he, Dirk, was not strong enough. So Dirk asks, "How do I get stronger?"

At some point during this time, the group is all out doing stuff together and Dirk watches Sollux save all their asses from something. Dirk realizes Sollux is statistically the stronger gem out of the whole group and puts two-and-two together (literally), concluding that what he needs to be powerful is...

Fusion. (do you see where this is heading?)

Will Dirk go and ask Sollux about this? Will he go and maybe ask Roxy, who he trusts? Will he talk to Dave and get his thoughts?

No, of course not. Because Dirk is a little stupid.

Dirk theorizes that if he can splinter his own gem and create an artificially copied fragment of himself, he'd be able to fuse with himself which would avoid having to rely on other people. So Dirk does the one thing he wasn't going to do to Dave. He takes the hammer to himself.

This, as you would imagine, goes fucking horribly wrong.

Dirk creates Hal, who is only a very small sliver of Bismuth. A corrupted gem that can't properly speak, seems to be intelligent, but also fucking hates Dirk.

Dirk, panicked, both because now his own gem is fucked up, but now because he has a little Dude running around his workshop, decides "oh fuck I need to fix this" and tries to fuse with Hal.

It doesn't work. Their fusion isn't stable. They can't fuse back together.

Dirk, having no idea what to do, decides to hide Hal away in his workshop and does his best to lie to everyone. Dave is suspicious, as Dirk starts to wear clothing that covers his gem, but Dave also isn't one for emotional vulnerability so he doesn't ask. Dirk continues to lie to most of everyone, even as his own state gets worse and worse.

Eventually, Sollux realizes what Dirk did. And he's fucking pissed. The lie gets uncovered and Sollux is ANGRY. Remember when Pearl lied to Garnet about the tower and the whole Sardonyx thing? It's like that, but both sides are angry at each other and refuse to apologize.

The rest of the group do their best to take care of Hal, they try to help Dirk fuse properly with him but it's not working, and Dirk keeps trying to force it but they aren't stable.

Eventually, something happens, and Dave gets poofed while they're out on an adventure (obviously Dave can recover, but it's a huge scare for Dirk). It's something Dirk could've easily protected Dave from, but now because he fragmented himself, he's even weaker than before. This is the final tipping stone for Dirk.

He goes to Sollux and apologizes, begging him to help him figure out fusion.

Sollux, resigned, sighs and agrees to help him. With time, Sollux slowly teaches Hal and Dirk how to work together and fuse, gradually helping them become more and more stable until finally they can fuse together and be like normal again.

Even after all of this, Hal and Dirk fused together aren't any more powerful than they were before. But Dirk grew in a different way, learning to trust others and see that not all his problems can be solved by just relying on himself.

Sollux, seeing Dirk & Hal's growth, who have now become a proper permafusion, offers to fuse with them if he wants to try it. Dirk smiles and shakes his head, and says that he'll be happy with where he is for right now, though he wouldn't mind taking it up in the future. Sollux is beaming back, satisfied that Dirk learned his lesson. (and then when shit goes down in the future we have this fucking awesome moment where Dirk and Sollux fuse together for the first time and theyre so fucking cool and i physicall explode)

ANYWAYS THAT'S MY STORY DUMP. LONG-ASS POST I KNOW BUT I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT THEM! HOPE THIS ANSWERS YOUR QUESTION!!

[meowbert-whiskers]

Weird ass Resident Evil head cannons because my brain is too silly

Wesker 100% got bullied by Chris and Jill when he was working with S. T. A. R. S. and cried at least once from it.

The moment Ashely got home she started crying to emo nightcore music while downing an entire pack of shredded cheddar cheese.

Luis definitely grabbed Leon's ass at least once whenever he bent down, then got the same treatment from Leon.

Leon purposefully coughs very dramatically in front of people who smoke to make them feel bad.

Chris has frequent nightmares about marrying Jill just for her to turn out to be Wesker in disguise. Every single time he has that nightmare he wakes up in a cold sweat with tears streaming down his face like he just saw the most horrifying thing know to man.

Rebecca has a penis straw some where in her house. It was a gift from Jill.

Wesker is horribly afraid of horses. Any time he sees a horse he starts running away as fast as he can. One time a horse smiled at him and he started screaming in terror.

The only reason Claire wears a ponytail is because one time when she was younger she went to a public pool with Chris and got her hair stuck in one of the drains and had to get a short hair cut. She was bullied about it for years by Chris.

Sherry is obsessed with Pokemon, especially when Leon first started working with the government since he got a bunch of money, and had a Pokemon themed bedroom. Her favourite Pokemon is Sylveon. Leon's is Pikachu because he's a dumb idiot who never saw the appeal and just wanted to make Sherry happy.

William was incredibly nerdy to the point where Annette would sometimes tape his mouth shut while they worked or else her infodump about each way to use a syringe/suture needle/any sort of medical shit they had to use. Albert didn't mind it when he rambled, though.

Chris once pranked Albert by switching his artificial sugars for his coffee with salt and hiding laxatives in it as well. Albert has never forgave him.

Jill once smacked Chris so hard he fell over and folded like an omelette. His spine has never recovered.

Leon was 100% a fan of Oingo Boingo and Weird Al. I will not explain any further.

Ada gets her nails done every other month by the same nail tech. Rebecca is secretly the nail tech.

Leon once accidentally sat on one of Sherry's Plush Charizards and got screamed at for an hour. Sherry said that she didn't want his "butt cooties" on her dragon.

Ashley loves cheese. Specifically brie.

Leon sometimes stares outside of the windows in his home while zoning out and standing completely straight. He also falls asleep like that with his eyes open. Chris will sometimes join him in watching the outside except he stands like a dad and does that thing where he has some sort of nut in his hands and shakes them around before eating them.

Chris wants to have kids, more specifically a daughter, so when Leon was on missions and Claire had to babysit her, he'd try to bond with Sherry. Sherry was horribly afraid of him and would cry if she was picked up by him.

Chris once smacked Wesker so hard his glasses went flying off. Wesker immediately got on the floor and started searching for them Velma style.

Leon unironicaly goes "YEOWCH!" whenever he gets hurt.

In the helicopter, Carlos slung his arm around Jill to try and be hot. It backfired once he realized Jill was both sleeping and drooling all over his arm. Ew.

Leon coughs like an old man on hospice.

Wesker sneezes like a kitten, especially during serious situations. He goes, "I'LL FUCKING END YOU-Achoo! (｡>﹏<｡)"

William once mistook Albert for Anette when he was incredibly tired and kissed Wesker on the lips. Neither were complaining.

This is so fucking dumb but please listen to my insane ramblings. PLEASE.

[destinationtrekk]

how would Wesker react to a reader that's literally the most chill and easy-going person ever?

Wesker would be infodumping about his plan and Reader's just like "yeah pop off king lol" Reader gladly listens intently

before re5: honestly he hates it at first. he's used to people either respecting and fearing him (umbrella lab assistants for example) who take his word as gospel, OR people like chris and ada who listen carefully but ultimately disagree or even refute what he says.

so when you casually drop by the lab one day to bring him lunch and ask what he's up to, he is very excited to explain his latest project with a little >:3 expecting a big ole pat on the head.

all you say after listening intently is "awh that sounds fun, honey. i have to go run errands."

he is dumbfounded. he stares after you when you drop a kiss on his head and leave without much else. where's his applause? his bravado? why aren't you even surprised this is his deadliest virus yet? it really irks him and he doesn't even know how to bring it up to you (you've been making him practice communication and emotional vulnerability - he hates that too)

after re5: he actually really really really appreciates it. after literally dying and being resurrected and now living with permanent scars of his disastrous failures in his life's work, he doesn't think he even deserves the praise he once craved. i think after uroboros he struggles with serious self-doubt and other mental issues because, yeah he knew project w meant he was already a fraud, but now he's just a washed up failure too. there's no way you become a b.o.w. and burn up in a volcano and come back normal lmfao

your easy-going and calm nature is exactly what he needs. you listen carefully, and you support him quietly, but you never ask more than he's willing to give. you never go over the top in trying to please him or feed his ego - in fact sometimes you even tell him he's being silly and he needs to take it down a notch.

it's now when he realizes how much he really needs you - has needed someone like you, his entire life - to balance out his ego and wild dreams. you're so relaxed and easy going that talking to you feels like a breath of fresh air, and he aches for nothing after a long day except to just sit next to you and speak - have a genuine conversation - about his day.

[problemcore]

coworker convinced me to get resident evil 7. im gonna have fun. whenever i decide to actually play that