#chris pontius headcannons

[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

Hooters Waitress Y/N HC’s!

Johnny Knoxville X Fem!Reader, Bam Margera X Fem!Reader, Steve-O X Fem!Reader, Ryan Dunn X Fem!Reader, Chris Pontius X Fem!Reader

Warnings: Suggestive content, flirting, creepy guy mention

An: Thank you so much for sending in requests!! These headcannons were inspired by this fic by @dunnswrld and one of my friends who once jokingly told me she was going to work at Hooters someday! Some of these HC’s were actually based on real events that happened to me or people I know XD anyways, thank you for sending in requests and please keep them coming!

After Jeff had to bail the guys out of jail due to their drunken antics, they were barred from partying for a couple nights,

And yes, that did include any trips down to the hotel bar. This was a huge boner killer because there’s only so much fun you can have getting hammered in your room.

“I mean, I like the guy-” Steve mused about Jeff as he laid back against one of the beds, “but I feel like a caged animal stuck in this joint...“

Inspired by their desperate predicament, Knoxville got an idea everyone was onboard with,

“I think there’s a Hooters across the street…Why don’t we go there?”

Technically a restaurant, Hooters was something that Jeff could let slide.

Now, you didn’t recognize all of them when they walked in, because you only paid attention to Jackass when the cute one was half naked on screen, but you could tell they were famous

Nearly shoving your coworker out of the way, you rushed over to where they had already gotten seated,

“Hiiii! My name’s Y/N, and I’ll be your server tonight!”

Flipping open your little notepad, you turned to the table, “Now, what can I get you boys to drink?”

Johnny spoke up first, sweet as always, “How about a round of beers for me and the guys? Miller High Life if you’ve got 'em, ma’am.”

As you jotted it down, the guys exchanged ‘woah, she’s hot’ glances. I mean, even in the world of Hooter’s waitresses, this lady was something…

And remember how you didn’t recognize all of them at first?

Well, given the fact your main customer base were middle aged men, Bam’s whole skate punk look with the black hoodies and eyeliner and whatnot didn’t exactly scream maturity to you

I’m not even going to mention his height…

Point is, you kinda assumed he was one of their teenage sons or step kids or something, so you bent down and asked him in that patronizing coo,

“Can I get the little prince of darkness anything to drink? We’ve got Sprite, Pepsi…”

After connecting the dots, Bam’s face flushed bright pink.

Part of him was pissed that you thought he was some prepubescent twerp, but at the same time he couldn’t be that mad because this hot piece of ass was being all sweet to him

Ry interjected, putting a paternal hand on his back before Bam could correct you, “The little guy’ll take a chocolate milk.”

That earned him a good, silverware rattling kick under the table.

After you dropped off their beers, you tottered off to tend to other customers and the crew got to discussing their smoking hot waitress.

Johnny, all of a sudden Mr. Polite, stepped in once the conversation got a little too raunchy for his taste, “Alright, boys- let’s be gentlemen here.”

“We’re at Hooters!” Bam scoffed at his resistance, “We don’t have t’be gentlemen!”

Ryan, who never really got the guys’ whole obsession with boobs, rolled his eyes at him, “You’re startin’ to sound like your uncle.”

Taking a sip of his beer, Dunn imitated Vito’s…unique manner of speech, “‘Oh, we’re at hooters! We don’t gotta be gentlemen!’”

“Fuck you.” “Fuck me? Fuck you!”

Finally breaking up the squabble was Steve, who had been busy eyeing your fine ass from across the room, and he leaned over to Bam,

“Hey, little prince of darkness- think’y could knock your crayons on the floor?”

Dropping off their drinks, you glanced around the table at the sleazy expressions that were all looking back at you and you asked if they wanted to order any wings

Flashing you a charming smile, Chris playfully wiggles his eyebrows at you as he put down his menu, “I was gonna ask if you were on the menu, but I’m a vegetarian!”

Steve saw his chance and quickly piped up from across the table, “I’m not!”

It was like some animal planet show, but instead of fighting for territory, they were all competing with each other to see who could get the pretty girl to look at them more.

Sure, it may have been against company policy to give out your number, but that’s only in instances when creepy men pester you about it,

Not so much if you happened to jot down your digits on the bill of a group of very handsome, very charming customers.

[s1eep-o]

Can you write some fluffy Chris pontius fic or headcannons of him dating a shy but is only crazy around him reader? <3

pontius with a reader who is only shy when she’s not with him.

warnings: just some fluffy stuff, mild cursing, alcohol consumption.

a/n: sorry if it isn't much, got a tad lazy..

first of all i think reader is probably apart of makeup/costume or camera crew.

reader is very shy during shooting and is very quiet one set. preferring to stay behind the scenes.

but boy oh boy, when the two of you head to the bar after shooting? yeah no one can calm the two of ya'll down.

''tremaine, don't you think they shouldn't be doing that?'' ehren asks as he points at you two screaming the lyrics of hotel california on top of a table. ''ehh it's fine they'll be out soon.''

while shooting and the boys are crazy and screaming, you're there sitting behind the camera with a small smile on your face.

when you first got the job you were very quiet and stayed away from the others.

''hey sweetheart, wouldn't it be amazing if you would come out with me tonight?'' knoxville asks with his southern drawl. ''no thanks.'' you respond quietly with an anxious smile.

but when you and pontius started talking? i'd like to say the two of you bonded over something silly or some nature.

setting your camera down after attempting to shoot a stunt for bam, ''god. he's always fucking whining.'' you mutter walking over to the snack table. grabbing a juice box and a bag of goldfish you walk over to sit under a tree admiring the sky. ''beautiful day out isn't it?'' someone asks, you look up to see chris. ''huh- oh yeah, it is.'' you mutter, smiling sheepishly.

something like that i don't know.

the two of you started getting very close and after shooting the first movie he decided to ask you out.

''hey you!'' pontius yells out to you as he's practically sprinting at you like a golden retriever. ''hey chris.'' you respond smiling, ''so, i was wondering... would you like to go to the bar? with me?'' he asks all smiley. you let out a small giggle and nod your head yes. he jumping and punching the air. ''fuck yeah!''

once you two get there you are downing shot after shot shouting after each and every one of them.

''FUCK YEAH DUDE!!'' you shout, chris is next to you laughing, tears in his eyes. ''oh.. oh my god dude- i've never seen you.. like this..'' he says out of breath from all the laughing he has done. suddenly embarrassed you cover your mouth with the palm of your hand, “sorry.. i don’t normally do this.” you say as your face reddened, “nah, i think it’s cute- don’t worry!”

yall started to get closer and it’s very evident to the rest of the crew, especially steve-o.

“dude are you hooking up with the costume chick?” steve-o asks, walking up to chris who was chilling on set. “first of all, no we aren’t hooking up. secondly, she isn’t just the costume chick.” steve just smirked at his friend, seeing how worked up he gets over her.

[baby-jackass]

My Official Masterlist!

This is my official masterlist with all of my headcannons, drabbles and fics and whatnot. My works are going to be put down in alphabetical order, to make it easier upon the eyes. I can not promise that my work is amazing, but hopefully you enjoy my silly little stories. Every new writing I publish I will update onto the masters list. But for now, I introduce you to my mind.

Some codes for the fics:

* Male reader,

° Gender neutral reader,

® Female reader.

• No reader

JACKASS:

- Chris Pontius protecting you *

- Cuddling and falling asleep with the Guys °

- Cuddling with Ryan Dunn °

- Dating Johnny Knoxville *

- Getting high with Johnny Knoxville °

- Guys with their little brothers •

- The guys coming to your prom °

TONY HAWK TOURS:

- Babysitting Bam Margera - Tony Hawks Secret Skatepark Tour °

9-1-1:

- Unnamed drabble •

- when the storm rocks •

Waterloo Road:

- I found freedom, losing all hope was freedom - narrator •

- When the storm rocks •

I will write for Tony Hawk tours, Jackass, CKY, HIM and Viva la Bam as well as 9-1-1 and Waterloo road. I love requests, the more detail the better. It may take some time for me to complete them but I wil try my best. Currently I am SFW, but I am open to attempting NSFW.

[dunnswrld]

not to be horny on main but pontius is the loml and i would greatly appreciate something smutty with him🤭 pretty please with a cherry on top🙏🙏

geez sex with this man would be so damn good.

nsfw! fem!reader, oral (f receiving)

he’s the kind of guy who just loves pleasuring you, he thinks sex is based off if his partner is pleased during it. which you most certainly are.

half the time foreplay with him can go on for what seems like hours until you can’t move. sometimes he doesn’t mean to have it go on for as long as it does… he just gets so fuzzy headed listening to you babble about how it just feels so good as you grind your hips on his tongue.

he would hold your hips down and keep lapping his tongue against your cilt even after you had your third orgasm on his tongue. your heels digging into his back as you whine loudly. but your actions certainly aren’t making chris was to stop anytime soon.

i think he would have a blush spread across his face the whole time, he is just so flustered by how good you look and sound, all for him.

good thing he is known as being the penis guy from jackass because he definitely lives up to the title.

he loves fucking you in doggy style. i dont care what anyone else says he loves it.

he loves watching you claw at the sheets of the bed as he pounds his hips into you, lewd noises filling the room and you can only moan from the pleasure shooting up your spine.

i feel like chris isn’t very vocal during sex, but you’ll definitely hear some hard breathing and groans. also don’t take his quietness for displeasure because he truly feels amazing.

the once in a blue moon times he will talk during sex is letting you know how good you look while he fucks you.

“Yo-You look so hot- fuck.”

“You’re so beautiful.”

“God you make me feel- shit- amazing.”

this might be a bit much but he loves finishing on your ass, also the main reason he likes doggy style so much.

[babybammargera]

Doodles n Drives

Female jackass (og) member

Trips to and from set are always pretty hectic epecially when you get stuck in a van with Steveo and Bam. Steve and Bam are always the cause of chaos on these trips, Steveo somehow breaking something or generally just tearing up the crew van and Bam punching you and Ry purely out of boredom. Today was no different other than today the location Jeff wanted to film at was like 2 hours away from the hotel you were staying in. You climb into the very back row of the van headphones on absently doodling on your jeans waiting for the rest of the guys to load up. Ryan and Bam piled into the row in front of you meanwhile Knox was driving with Pontius in the passenger seat and Steveo in the row in front of Bam. 10 mins in Bam leans over the seat probably plotting to nail you on the shoulder with a well timed punch but immediately forgets about that when he sees your jeans. "Hey can I draw on you too?" You shrug and hand him one of your other sharpies honestly completely out of ideas yourself. He climbs over the seat and sits with your legs in his lap with one of your earbuds in finally quiet for the first time in the ride. He had claimed the left pant leg as his canvas doodling intricate heartagrams and the cky and gnarkill logos along with other obvious spooky Bam doodles. After a while Steveo gets bored and climbs into the seat Bam was in and leans over the seat asking for your lighter, "What that looks fun make some room." He tumbles over the seat landing on his head in the floorboard at Bam's feet. He sits in the floor of the van and grabs another permanent marker and starts doodling too. Eventually Knox gets concerned with the silence in the van and yells, "anytime you guys are this quiet you did something so spill it." You look over the seat meeting his gaze in the rear view mirror, "they saw me drawing on my pants and got excited so I let them draw too." The rest of the trip Ryan is sleeping and you're laying across the seat as Steveo and Bam cover your dirty jeans with artwork and chainsmoke cigarettes. By the time you arrive on set they were covered front and back. Honestly you're just glad they didn't draw any dicks on your pants during a filming day and the rest of the crew in your van is grateful for the boys not being unbearable for once. After filming the ride home goes pretty similar and it just becomes a tradition, sometimes even the others join in. At this point you have so many pairs of jeans just covered in drawings from your cast mates, you even have a pair that the cky crew covered and let's be real those are rightfully your favorite.

[downtownbunnybaby]

random hero <3

[m4rgera]

jackass + cky ★ headcannons

johnny ★

- small age gap, not big probaly like he’s three / five years older. but there’s definitely one tho.

- he’s really busy with work and shit obviously, so when you two do go out on little dates there really sweet.

- he would spoil you so much. just buying you a abundance of handbags and band-tees 24/7.

- you would baby him constantly when he gets injured. he acts like he hates it, but he secretly loves it.

- he doesn’t seem like the kinda guy to show extreme pda but he would definitely just be chillin giving you back hugs all the time.

- he gets kinda embarrassed when you watch old jackass episodes of him (like season one-ish)

- calls you sweetheart and doll for sure.

- super sweet to you but also likes to joke around and mess with you.

- like a couple pranks are pulled here and there.

- he denies it but he will binge jersey shore with you all the time.

- you definitely go thrill seeking with him once in a while, like haunted houses and roller coasters.

- i feel like you would be really close with his family?? like his parents, he just kinda trusts you around them.

- he may not be big on cuddling and affection but movie nights are a must have with you two.

- “it’s not even bleeding that much, i’ll be fine, i promise.”

chris ★

- super sweet to you! you definitely go on weekly dates that are super cheesy but romantic.

- calls you baby or angel (:

- takes time out of work or filming to spend time with you.

- just small things like taking a walk around set, or grabbing a quick snack before jeffs on his ass about filming.

- loves to cuddle for sure, he gives off little spoon vibes but i honestly don’t think he is.

- he isn’t afraid of pda but it isn’t anything too graphic. like a kiss once in a while or a hand around your waist.

- in private it’s completely different tho. he is very touchy, whether it be just holding your hand or playing with your hair he’s always got his hands on you.

- you two for sure have a dog or two and call it your child lol

- your relationship definitely seems just very wholesome and innocent (not saying it is tho lmao)

- little bit protective, not in a harmful way he just doesn’t want you to get hurt. sometimes you wanna try out a stunt and he talks you out of it.

- he just hates seeing you hurt ):

- he definitely makes you laugh all the time! your relationship is just full of laughs and jokes.

- “you know, paintballs don’t feel nice. they hurt, and I don’t want you to get pelted with them either.”

dave ★

- you two are super chill with each other and your personality’s just go along so well no matter what.

- doesn’t seem very affectionate but he definitely is. he’ll compliment you on everything or anything he can.

- you guys don’t go out for dates a lot, but you have little at home dates. like movie nights or nice homemade dinners.

- you like watching him do stuff he loves, whether it be stunts or snowboarding if it puts a smile on his face it makes you smile.

- likes to get you random stuff that reminds him of you. like a cd of a band you like or a wildflower that was your favorite color.

- he loves seeing you try to do stunts, he thinks it’s hilarious. until you get hurt, then it’s definitely not funny.

- your not the best at skateboarding, but he definitely loves to see you try.

- babe or hun/honey.

- ok, now for the whole shitting talent. I don’t think it’s the first thing he’d tell you when you start dating, but once you start going on set for jackass you just kinda figure out. im gonna say it wouldn’t bother you and you find it kinda amusing actually.

- you love to baby him in like a jokingly way. unlike with johnny when your unknowingly babying him with dave you would do it to kinda annoy him.

- you’d be good friends with the other cky/jackass guys too.

- whenever you stay in hotels with the guys you encourage them to misbehave and he hates it, although sometimes he’s the one causing trouble lol.

- you basically are just best friends who are dating.

- “bro you just ate shit! but actually are you ok? you hit your head pretty hard.”

ehren ★

- calls you pretty girl or honey definitely

- fucking with him constantly. just always pranking him or teasing him.

- no too big on pda, maybe when he’s drunk but definitely not sober.

- hid your relationship for the longest time. you weren’t friends with anyone else (besides ehren ofc) so it was a few months before anyone figured out.

- going on hikes or walks in the winter all the time!!

- going out with the guys a lot, not really like a double date but kinda lol. just going to bars and restaurants a whole bunch.

- your never really on set when any of his injury’s happen, but your always expecting a phone call for one.

- you just don’t like being on set, it’s kind of intimidating if your being honest.

- you were so close to punching the shit out of tremaine after they pulled ehrens tooth.

- over time I think you would develop a friendship with dave just cuz ehrens pretty close with him.

- you love to draw, and he loves to watch you draw even more <3

- telling you stories about failed stunts or stunts that ended horribly.

- you would never wanna try any of the shit he does. its one of the reasons your never on set, it terrifies you.

- “it’s not even that bad, look honey it’s only a broken rib!”

steveo ★

- before he was clean you definitely had smoke seshs together.

- keeping him out of trouble constantly. if it weren’t for you he would have snapped at his neighbor a long time go.

- giving eachother super shitty half-assed tattoos.

- very public relationship but it isn’t toxic or anything. doesn’t really effect your relationship.

- watching cartoons while absolutely stoned.

- baking together, but not like nice baking. like shitty box cake mix that you both end up over cooking.

- trying to talk him out of doing some of the more questionable stunts.

- tremaine fucking hates you for it too. you definitely aren’t allowed on set too many times.

- just cause you keep him out of trouble doesn’t mean you still don’t have fun with him. there’s definitely been a couple situations where cops were called to a restaurant cause of shit yall we’re doing.

- you tried to pierce his ears once with a ice cube and safety pin. didn’t end well.

- your relationship was very fast moving and you moved in with each other after only a month of dating.

- sometimes you’ll get markers and color in his tattoos just for fun.

- calls you babe or princess for sureee.

- “wasn’t our fault we got kicked out, babe, they just didn’t know what a good time was.”

ryan ★

- I know everyone says this, but he definitely calls you darling. it just suits him so well.

- like chris, he always has his hands on you. even in public he’s always holding your hand, arm around your waist, hand on your thigh, etc.

- so fucking sweet to you. always buying you little gifts.

- actually will shower before seeing you, but sometimes he doesn’t bother.

- fucking with bam 24/7

- you act like a teenage couple that was lovestruck. this includes sneaking away from the guys to go make out or lying about your relationship for a while.

- ryan loves seeing you try stunts, he thinks it’s hilarious. the part where you get injured, not so much.

- farther into your relationship you would definitely move into a apartment with eachother. it would have been at least 9 months into you guys dating tho.

- your relationship started up very fast but was slow paced if that makes sense. you only went on a couple dates before you finally referred to each other as partners but it took you a while to grow used to it.

- going on little library dates that end in you getting kicked out for laughing too loud.

- giving him tons of ideas for new tattoos, just little doodles you’ve done that you think would look cool.

- he loves hearing you talk about your hobbies or interests, he could listen for hours on hours.

- tremaine has officially banned you from set for distracting ryan.

- even tho you hid your relationship for a while literally every one knew you were dating. the heart eyes he gave you was a dead giveaway.

- “go tackle bam right now and I’ll take a shower tonight.”

bam ★

- omg he for sure calls you baby girl or just babe.

- always skating together. even if your not the best at it he loves seeing you try.

- your on set all the time. you love trying stunts with the guys, it’s fun and bam loves doing it with you.

- moved in with you super early in the relationship. you clicked early on and just got along really quickly.

- he would get super fucking shy around you before you started dating. every one knew he liked you but he kept denying it.

- you call him adorable and he hates it, sometimes he kinda like it tho.

- the amount of times april has yelled at you two for making a mess or too much noise….

- neck kisses all the time! he is not afraid of pda whatsoever

- always buying you stuff, he can’t go anywhere without bringing something back for you.

- even if you don’t like the same music you’ll always go to concerts with him for his favorite bands.

- dunn is just always with you guys. pretends to gag anytime bam hugs or kisses you.

- like steveo you guys have a very public relationship. you hate it- bam loves it.

- always telling you about every little detail of his day.

- mf is a little spoon you cannot tell me otherwise.

- “babe, you will not believe what the fuck dico did today.”

[knoxvilleaura]

[partypontius]

dave england headcannons <3

dave doesn’t get enough love, so imma show him some lol

- he gives off the biggest boyfie vibes

- like, he cares ab you so SO much

- he always checks on you, makes sure you’re okay

- also tells u how hot you are 24/7

- “damn, you look so pretty today.”

- *blushes*

- calls you sweet names

- such as “babe” or “honey”

- your personal fave is “shithead” (hypocritical but whatever)

- knows he isn’t the favorite jackass member, but is okay with it

- he knows he’s your favorite, and that’s all he cares about

- if any of the guys mess w you, they’re done for

- he will deadass kick their ass for you

- also, let’s talk about darf

- that little fucker gets on your last nerve

- however, even though darf is a complete ass, he’s always nice to you

- and everyone (EVERYONE) is pissed about it

- he could shit talk to everyone in a bar, and then go up to you and play with your hair

- does it make sense??

- no

- taking darf home, he talks ab how much he loves you and shit like that

- also loves to kiss ur neck?? not entirely sure what that’s about

- dave is genuinely one of the sweetest humans.

- he thinks ab his future w you all the time

- he lives for the thought of having kids with you and spending forever w you

- he’s so sentimental!!

- keeps everything you give him in a special box

- you found this box, but you never told him

- last one, I promise

- never, and I mean NEVER goes to bed without saying that he loves you

- “goodnight, babe, I love you”

- “I love you, too” <333

lmao, I’m sitting in an airport writing about dave haha. these are dedicated to my bestie, g, because she’s a dave stan. she complains ab there not being enough content about him, so I gave her some hahaha.

pls request some stuff if you want! my inbox is open <3

much love!! -em

[ilovejknoxville]

Screaming kicking thrashing around from the pure enthrallment of reading every piece of art writing on @knoxvilleforever 's page, if you havent read anything from them please do its litteraly the best

[aeonian-knoxville]

aeonian-knoxville’s masterlist for headcanons

aeonian-knoxville’s main m.list

angst: ☁︎// fluff: ☀︎// mature: ✁// personal fave: ✦

Being Married to:

Johnny Knoxville☀︎

Chris Pontius☀︎

Dating:

Brandon Novak☀︎

Dave England☀︎

Ryan Dunn☀︎

Loomis Fall☀︎

Johnny Knoxville:

Helping you though an anxiety attack ☁︎/☀︎

Random:

They get their Wisdom Teeth Removed☀︎

[b4mpyre-k1zz3s]

Dating the Jackass Guys HC’s!

Steve-O X Fem!Reader, Johnny Knoxville X Fem!Reader, Ryan Dunn X Fem!Reader, Chris Pontius X Fem!Reader, Bam Margera X Fem!Reader

Warnings: Suggestive content, drug use, alcohol, injury, car sex, tending to wounds, make outs, kissing, sex on a beach, public sex, unsafe driving, posessiveness, unwanted flirting

An: I wanted to write some head cannons based off of what kinds of dates the Jackass guys would take their girlfriends on (and all the ways that could go wrong)! Bam’s part was inspired by these headcannons by @1800miserablethot I love his work please go check him out!! Thank you for reading and please keep sending requests!

Steve-O

Assuming you were his asshole landlord, your boyfriend didn’t seem too happy when he threw open the door, clad only in his boxers, “What?!”

See, even though Steve planned to go out with you a week ago, he still wasn’t up by the time you got at his place, leaving you to pound on his door for what felt like an eternity to try and get his lazy ass out of bed

“Oh shit…” Shocked awake, Steve’s face fell after you, very unamused, reminded him that yes, you did have a date today. “Yeah, yeah- come on in!”

You knew that this was par for the course for him when you started dating him. What you weren’t aware of, however, was the state his apartment was in-

So much filth covered every surface that you started mentally repeating, “Don’t touch anything, don’t touch anything…” to yourself like a mantra

Despite the way your skin itched, there was something endearing about watching your boyfriend crack open a beer at noon, which he quickly drained, before pulling on a pair of jeans he had lying around.

“So, where’re we heading?” Given the fact Steve didn’t own a car, your options were kind of limited

The two of you ended up heading to the park and grabbing some hot dogs from a cart before plopping down on the grass together.

Even if he wasn’t half broke, he was never one for grand dates, and you could admire how genuine that was

Instead of wowing you with fancy dinners and sports cars, he preferred his dates to be about having a nice time with his lady.

Something not many people would know about Steve is that animals love him.

Out of nowhere, your boyfriend was practically knocked off his feet by an overexcited golden retriever who jumped on him and covered his face in slobbery kisses

It was heartwarming really, the way he laughed and smiled in that sweet, boyish way while giving the dog some good skritches!

Ah, you always knew men being good with animals was a green flag…

When it’s owner ran over and apologized for her dog getting off the leash, he told her it was totally cool

“But if it isn’t a problem, you don’t happen to have a tennis ball on you, do you?”

She did- as did the many other dog owners, who were as impressed as you were at Steve’s impromptu juggling act he put on in the park

Okay, maybe he was trying to impress you a little. But showing off you clown skills isn’t the same as driving around in some hot shit Lamborghini, okay?

As the sun started going down, and Steve walked you to your car, he asked if you’d be interested in coming up to his place, maybe smoke a little- who knows…

But thinking back to the piles of empty beer cans and the questionable stains on the carpet, you politely declined, “Uh…Maybe next time?”

You made another mental note to lay down some blankets down in your trunk before you saw him next.

Johnny

“Howdy, ma’am!” Standing at your door to pick you up for your date to the rodeo was Knoxville, who tipped his cowboy hat at you while you giggled at his little country getup,

What with the boots and those tights jeans that made his ass looks great- not to mention that obnoxious pink shirt that let you know it was your boyfriend under all that

“Are you really wearing that?”

“Well, yes i am,” Taking your hand, he drawled in an exaggerated accent as he led you to the car before opening the door for you, “and I do think we should be gettin’ a move on…”

You had no clue there were even rodeos in LA before Johnny took you there, but there you were, sitting with these great seats

And there’s nothing more your boyfriend loved than seeing that look of wonder on your face as you ogled at the real deal bull riders, not like the kinda stuff he does on Jackass. Which, speaking of…

“Excuse me, ma’am- I gotta go hit the little boy’s room.”

However, Knoxville was not squeezing past your knees to go to the little boy’s room.

Unbeknownst to you, he actually was a friend of the man who owned the stadium and had a little surprise planned for you

Not five minutes later, after they corralled the bull to set up for the next rider, guess who you see walk out into the ring? That fucking pink shirt…

“Johnny- Johnny! Don’t-“ and there he went, ploughed clean over much to the joy of the crowd and your anguish

Not assured at all by the thumbs up he gave you as he staggered to his feet, you couldn’t help but wince a little when you saw your boyfriend limp back to his seat.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” With a crooked grin, Knoxville waved a dismissive hand at you, “Yeah, I’ll be fine- just a little bruised…” Still, he didn’t dissuade your worries,

Turns out he was more than just a little bruised, as you would find out when things started getting a little hot and heavy on the drive back and Johnny had to pull over to a dark, secluded area just off the beaten path

Moving to straddle his lap, you felt him groan against your lips as you reached down to undo his belt, “mmm…ow- fuck!”

So, glancing down at the swollen, purple mess of bruise tissue on his legs, you decided to take a rain check.

Instead of ending the night getting laid in your boyfriend’s ‘69 Challenger, you spent the night at his place, holding ice to his sore thighs while he cracked jokes to make you laugh despite the situation.

If that ain’t love, then you don’t know what love is…

Ryan

When Ryan told you that over the phone that, “If you want, you could just come hang out at Castle Bam.” you thought that would mean swimming in the backyard pool and going out for dinner at Antonio’s,

But he meant it very literally, because there you were, sitting next to your boyfriend on the couch, watching TV.

I mean, you were happy to be hanging out with him, but is this his idea of a date?

“Is this all we’re going to do?” “Yeah.”

It was Dunn’s greatest power and his worst fault- he was horribly, aggressively chill

There you sat for hours, so comfortable with each other that you didn’t feel the need to make small talk, watching The Simple Life, or Nick and Jessica, or whatever dreck MTV away airing that afternoon

Later, Ry went to the kitchen to grab a few more beers, which certainly were aiding in his aforementioned chillness, when you called out to him,

“You know, I really had this image in my mind- maybe you’d take me out for food or some drinks tonight? Maybe a little courtship here?”

Plopping down next to you, Dunn passed you a bag of chips he got for you from the kitchen before handing you one of the two bottles from the side table with a faux bow, “Milady?”

Smirking, you took it from him, because you could never be mad at him for too long

But as the afternoon wore on, with the rest of the guys out filming something, your boyfriend eventually passed out drunk on the couch

“Yeah, this is how I wanna spend my Saturday…” Grumbling to yourself, you snatched the remote and absentmindedly flicked through channels for a while before you got bored

So, wriggling in next to your boyfriend’s warm, unconscious body, you laid your head against Ryan’s chest and listened to his heartbeat as you drifted off to sleep.

God, if there was a better way to wake up than to him gently playing with your hair and looking down at you with that sweet, lovesick look in his eyes, you didn’t wanna know

Mind you, he was still drunk given the fact he was only out for a couple hours,

And whenever you were within arm’s reach, Dunn got sappy drunk,

“You’re still here?”

Of course you were still there, but once he got like this, it was to your benefit to let him get it out of his system.

Tilting your chin up, Ryan planted a sweet kiss to your forehead, murmuring, “God- I am so lucky to have a girlfriend like you…”

Chris

When you broke it to Pontius that you had no clue how to surf, he dedicated a chunk of your beach date to teaching you, “It’s pretty simple- you’ll pick up on it in no time!”

Well, that’s not all he told you- he also said you looked hot in your bikini, but that’s not as important

“It’s easier if you practice this kinda stuff on land…” Your boyfriend dragged his board to lay down on the sand, waving you over, “Hop on!”

And, very close behind you, Chris stood guiding you on how to shift you weight and when to stand up with his hands on whatever part of your body made it easiest to explain to you

You’re not going to lie- you did pull the, “Is this how you do it?” card a few times more than was needed just for an excuse to feel his wide palms on your body for a little while longer.

But time came for you to actually do the thing he was teaching you, you totally wiped out!

(To nobody’s surprise)

Still, Pontius was the painfully kind guy you fell in love with, swimming out to wherever you fell and scooping you up Baywatch style before encouraging you to give it another shot

“You know,” glancing at him up and down- looking all suave and perfect with way the salt water glistened on his tan skin and curled his hair, “I think I’d rather watch you…”

What kind of guy would say no when their girl asks to watch them while they do something they’re awesome at?

With your ass in the sand, you spent hours oggling Chris from afar and cheering him on

Until the sun began sinking beyond the horizon and you decided to hit up the bar for drinks and something to eat.

Later that evening, once most of the tourists have cleared off of the beaches of LA, the two of you snuck back

“This place is beautiful at night- you gotta check it out Y/N!”

Visiting the beach to see it turned into building a bonfire, and there’s something so rugged and masculine about watching your boyfriend lug 50lb pieces of driftwood without breaking a sweat.

And with that visual in your mind, there’s only a few places the evening can go…

First with the arm around your shoulder holding you close, because it gets cold there at night, then a little kissing because hell, kissing always feels nice,

Which then proceeded to straight up beach sex. The fantasy kind of beach sex, where sand doesn’t get anywhere and there no seagulls or wayward cops patrolling the shore.

That night, still naked, you fell asleep in eachother’s arms by the smoldering remains of your fire, enjoying the warmth you shared.

Bam

“So I was thinking maybe we could ride four wheelers, chill out and play some pool, go for a drive in the Lambo, hit up the bar tonight- anything else you wanna do?”

The house was empty for one day, and your boyfriend just wanted to do the same shit he does with his dumb little buddies every other time they’re over?

Most of the time, your dates were more about him having fun than treating you to some sweet, romantic shit, but you had to admit that a part of you kind of contributed to the chaos

Once you got bored with jumping cars and doing tricks on the ATVs and headed inside, guess who came knocking on the door?

Dico, who your boyfriend totally forgot he made plans to work on the film edit with

But Bam had no qualms about shutting the door in his face,

“Yeah, yeah- I’m workin’ on it!”

Listening for him to walk away, your boyfriend turned to you with a smirk, “So, how’s that ride sound?”

The thing about living in the backwoods of Pennsylvania is that you can drive pretty much as fast and as recklessly as you want, and there’s no cops around to give you a ticket

Bam knew this and used it to his every advantage. He paid for the whole speedometer, why the hell shouldn’t he use it?

Especially when he had his girl in the car, who looked so cute when he made her nervous…

You ended up at Rex’s, and you were practically hyperventilating by the time you stumbled out of the Lambo,

“I could really use a beer right now…”

And as soon as you walked through door, there goes Mr. Friendly, paling arround with everyone in the bar and leaving you to drink alone. What a man…

But if there was something you loved about Bam, it was that he shows up when it counts,

Like when he caught that creep hitting on you out of the corner of his eye.

Never have you seen your boyfriend whip around so fast, planting his fist in the asshole’s jaw hard enough to throw him against the bar top

Wrapping a possessive arm around your waist and tugging you close, he spat at the guy, “Yeah- flirt with my girl again, fucker…”

You got back to the castle late, everything serene and dark as you laid snuggled up in Bam’s tousled sheets,

Which very quickly evolved into lazily making out, all slow and soft and romantic

(Because your boyfriend didn’t jump to screwing at every chance you got- credit to his immaturity)

And that’s how you fell asleep, with him nuzzling his face into your hair and nodding off

[littlemissobssessedwitholdermen]

Can somebody PLEASE write smutty (or non smutty) head cannons for Dave England, okaythanksloveyoubye x

[philipjohnclapp]

MASTERLIST

THIS IS MY JACKASS MASTERLIST I WRITE ANYTHING AND ALL AND ITS ALL LINKED HERE!

Johnny Knoxville

Out of Control (Angst, featuring Knoxville as Clay Barber from Reboot, mentions of character death, substance abuse, and Reboot spoilers)

CKY Member Dating Knoxville Headcanon's (Mentions of the band and the show and Jackass, and relationships with the other CKY guys, pretty much fluff and barely nsfw)

T-Pee (It is a series and it’s on AO3, angst, silver fox Knoxville, hurt, dark comedyish)

Johnnny Knoxville Dating Pregnant Reader Headcanons (Young Johnny, fem reader, fluff for the most part)

Steve-O

Quietus of All Drugs (Angst, no comfort, all cannon, also includes Johnny, and Chris, extremely triggering)

The File (Fluff, Gender Neutral Reader, humor, slight gore)

My Annoying Neighbor Steve (Kinda hate at start, fluff, female reader, humor, kinda ship)

Steve-O Dating Reader Headcanons (No gender implied take it as you will, fluff)

Steve-O Dating a Popstar Headcanons (Female reader, fluff, a bit of smut, funny and wholesome.)

My Suicide: Steve-O's Cut; How to Write a Letter? (Angst, hurt, mentions of all the guys, series on AO3)

If You’re Gonna Be Dumb, You Gotta Be Tough(Goretober Prompt 1, super bad writing, angst, mentions of Knoxville.)

Dave England

Dating Dave England Headcannon's ( Headcannons, fluff, no gender specified, humor.)

Bam Margera

I’m Y/N And I'm Gonna Tease Bam All Day Long (Drabble, fem reader, smut.)

Sex Pollution (Imagine, fem reader implied, smut, slow burn, jealous, reader is Johnny Knoxvilles sister.)

Rigged Game of Ping Pong (Drabble, angst, Jackass Forever, issues, Goretober prompt 3.)

Chris Pontius

I think that you made it up, I think that your mind is gone. (Long Fic, Female Y/N, noncon, smut, Jackass MTV)

Ryan Dunn

Ryan Dunn Headcanons (Mostly fluff & wholesome, a bit of reader/yn.)

Wee-Man

None

Preston Lacy

None

Ehren McGhehey

Submissive Ehren McGhehey Smut Headcannons

(Headcannons, smut, fluff, no reader specified, no character specified, just whoever you’d like.)

Jeff Tremaine

None

Spike Jonze

Car Jacking

(Smut, masturbation, mentions of ships, rough)

Brandon DiCamillo

None

Chris Raab

None

Poopies

None

Rachel Wolfson

None

Zach

None

Brandon Novak

None

Tony Hawk

None

Ville Valo

None

(Will edit as requested)

PAIRINGS

Chris Pontius and Steve-O

Chris Pontius and Steve-O Dating Headcannons (Fluff, humor, mentions of light drugs, mentions of Wild Boyz)

Vomiting Lust (NSFW, humor, mentions of Wild Boyz, and vomit. )

Johnny Knoxville and Steve-O

Johnny Knoxville and Steve-Os First Time Together Headcanons (NSFW, humor, dirty, ship obviously.)

Clowning Around (Bromance, not really a ship, denial?, humor, fluff.)

Cheap cologne, even cheaper cigarettes, and Tennessee whiskey. (Goretober prompt 2, Slight NSFW, rough, substance abuse.)

Bam Margera and Johnny Knoxville

Rebel Against The Man (Implied Relationship, mentions of smut, drug and alcohol abuse, character death, angsty, suicide implied?)

Will edit and add as requests flood in, plus there’s too many pairings, so that make it easier.

[dunnswrld]

what ab bam or chris with a scream queen reader- like the face of the horror genre, jamie lee curtis and neve campbell behaviour, final girl forever type of actress

oh my GOD.

i can imagine you being the star in a new slasher horror film coming out and you have been reading the script over and over for what seemed like days because you really wanted to nail this role since it was your first leading roll.

you’re sitting on your shared bed with chris while reading the script until chris snatches it from your hands.

“you’ve been reading this all day. why don’t you take a break?”

“i need to nail this role chris, ive never played the murder.”

“well aren’t you like the hot girl next door who kills people? i think your nailing the hot part already.”

i think in the long run be would help you act out the other characters, in the mean time adding in unnecessary comments.

“‘you killed my brother!’ well, wasn’t that obvious? i mean he went to your house that night-“

“chris! act! don’t try and fix the plot!”

omg if he ever came on set to like bring you lunch or hang out there was definitely a time you were covered in blood and he kinda freaked out.

“holy shit! yn is that real!?”

he would enjoy watching you film the movie too, like he wpuld sit in a chair and just watch in awe at how you acted.

but he definitely would get excited when you killed the guys you were ‘flirting’ with in character and forget about the quiet on set rule.

“yeah get his ass baby! oh- sorry.”

but i think when the movie comes out i think instead of seeing it at the premiere he would sneak you into a movie theater (with a disguise ofc) to watch it on the big screen and see the audiences reaction.

while watching the movie i think there was a scene where you were sitting over a guys body and licked the blood off the knife you were using and chris would immediately turn to you and tell you how hot it was.

i think after the movie he would be scared of you cause he just watched his sweet loving girlfriend play a hot girl next door killer.

“you’re not going to kill me right?”

“chris why would i ever-“

but chris probably thought the movie was super cool, he probably would lick knifes on jackass then give a look at the camera that said “do you get it? you know, my girlfriends character in her movie?”

[shojimezolovemail]

i read ur nsfw headcannons and i love <33

could you write a fic or hc ab corruption w chris

A/N: sorry this took so long! i’m slowly getting back into writing :”)

warnings: nsfw concepts, implications that reader isn’t sexually active/hasn’t been for a while, implication of feminine genitals but not explored,

pairing: chris pontius x GN!reader

due to the inherit sexual nature of jackass and its members, it’s not a surprise that they’re all quite skilled in that department

when you and chris had first got together, he made no rush to get you under him but definitely picked up on what flustered you

you start squirming into his kisses or pull away when he reaches to grab your hips? he’s keeping that up in his head for later

it’s not to say that you’re not experienced or knowledgeable, you’re just a little more flustered than he would expect

if you tell him you’re not so much experienced as you are aware, then he’s running with it

chris will absolutely eat up that you don’t have a lot of experience

it makes his kisses harder and longer, venturing to see how far he could take it before you pull away

he’d gotten a hand in your underwear, hovering just above where you aches to be touched

“chris, baby please,”

“i haven’t even touched you yet, sweetheart… and you’re already begging for me?”

you’d nod sheepishly before he was pressing a sweet kiss to your lips and playing with you

chris would put you on edge until you were pleading with him

“you look so pretty like this, all blissed out and all over done is play with you, sweetheart,”