#chris is only in there for the beginning of the chapter though
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Dragged Into The Blood
Story Summary: Never staying in one place for long, moving nearly every year, Lea Anderson was used to impermanence, chaos, and having to leave everything behind at the drop of a hat. Lea never expected that she would be kidnapped and wake up in a rusted, decrepit prison cell because of a madman's delusional belief in eugenics and cleansing the Earth of imperfection. By herself, with only the clothing on her back, she will have to rely on luck and logic to escape before she's killed or worse. Warnings: mentions of violent behavior, mention of killing two members of a family and terrorizing the rest, stubborn parenting, mention of nightmares, and dysphoria due to monstrous features.
Hello, Dearhearts, and welcome back! So this is the last chapter of the buffer arc before we enter the Revelations 2 arc and finally get caught up to where I originally was in the original Fanfiction.net version of this story! I really wanted to show the complications of Lea's home life, what comforts she has, and show Roark's point of view and his faults without straight-up villainizing him, which is something I was accidentally doing in the original fic. Hope y'all like it!
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17.
Chapter 12: Entering A New Chapter
Roark
“You don’ understand, Redfield, Walker is a feckin’ maniac.” Roark shouted in a whisper, his eyes darting up toward the ceiling before returning vaguely toward the ground. From what he could hear, there was still no movement from Lea’s bedroom. She suffered enough, and everything he did seemed to worsen things. The least he could do was let the poor girl sleep. “Him pulling a gun on a bony kid? Wasn’ the only time he pulled some crazy shite on us. In multiple situations, he set up Jada and Sal as bait and nearly got ’em killed. His explanation? ‘If they died, then they weren’t any good.’ And not to mention his feckin’ vendetta against Shawn and me…” Roark fought to keep his tone quiet. Pacing the room, roughly running a hand through his unkempt hair.
“Anderson,” Chris’s voice cut through, his tone tired and curt.
“Then the feckin’ bastard kills Jada and Sal and terrorizes my family for years before disappearin’ off the face of the Earth! He ain’ gone, he ain’ dead, he will come back. And if I’m not here…” Roark went on, ignoring that Chris had even spoken, his breaths growing more labored.
“Anderson,” Chris tried again, his tone snappier than before.
“I protected her for sixteen years. Sixteen years. I fecked up once, I’m not gonna feck up again-”
“Anderson! Shut up and listen for one minute!” Chris snapped, loud enough that Roark winced and pulled the phone away from his ear. After a short moment, Roark pressed the flip phone back to his ear. “I get why you’re scared. After everything you all have been through, I don’t blame you. But she’s not under the protection of a small mercenary group anymore. She’s under the protection of B.S.A.A. Plus you trained her well. She’s cautious and won’t take any chances with her safety.”
“But-” The shaggy-haired man started to argue, promptly cut off by Chris.
“And she’s not a starving little preschooler anymore! Yeah, she’s sixteen, but she’s also nearly an adult. With the way you’re trying to double down and rob her of any chance to have a life, you can’t be surprised Lea won’t talk to you.” Chris paused for a moment, breathing deeply before continuing. “You can’t get trust if you don’t trust her.” Both men went silent, and for a moment, Roark’s eyes softened in understanding. Searching eyes wandered nowhere in the dimly lit living room as he was lost in thought. After that moment, however, his barely wrinkled face contorted into a harsh grimace at Chris’s accusation.
“Don’t tell me how to parent my daughter. Until she’s eighteen, she stays with me.” He lowly hissed out, nearly slamming the flip phone shut. It was only then that he noticed how his chest was heaving. Closing his eyes, he forced himself to calm down, and shortly, his breathing returned to its deep, rhythmic pattern. He refused to let himself lose control, especially not over some random stranger, thinking he knew how to parent his daughter best.
Roark clicked off the lamp, easily navigating his way in the darkness to the stairwell. Each step was feather light and slow. Each breath was carefully controlled and quiet. At the top of the stairway, the mercenary tip-toed to the middle door on the left. Leaning forward, he got as close to the shut door as possible without touching it, peeling his ears for any sounds. For a moment, nothing. Then he heard it, a whimper, then a quiet sob.
Without wasting another second, Roark opened the door, stepping through the doorway. He expected to see his little girl trying her best to stifle her sobs like he often catches her doing late at night. But no, not this time. She was under the weighted covers this time, sweat beading her skin and eyes screwed shut. A nightmare.
As quietly as possible, Roark made his way to her bedside. Kneeling on the ground, he reached a large hand toward the whimpering teenager, gently brushing away the damp hair from her face. Lea stilled at the touch, and for a moment, Roark stilled too, fearing the mere touch had woken her. Then her eyes relaxed, and she released her breath, relaxing into the touch. Roark sighed in relief, recognizing she was still asleep. Momentarily, he wondered how she hadn’t heard him until he saw the bright orange earplugs.
Sadly smiling at his slumbering daughter, he stayed there, caressing her hair until her breath evened out and her fists stopped clutching at the covers. Slowly, he stood up and returned to the door, carefully shutting it. Even before she was taken, Lea had always had chronic nightmares, but not like this. She didn’t fear sleep before. She never avoided it for days at a time. He wanted so badly for Lea to confide in him again. About her nightmares. What happened when she was taken. Anything. Everything. Roark wished his little girl would just let him help and stop treating him like a stranger.
Lea
The warm rays of the dawn seep through the open window, washing over the sleeping teen, gently waking her from her slumber. Lea slowly blinked against the soft yet bright morning light. She can’t remember the last time she had woken up peacefully rather than waking up gasping for air. Lea let her eyes drift over to the alarm clock on her nightstand, confirming what she already knew, that she had more than enough time to prepare for the interview at TerraSave and then some. Sighing, she pushed herself into a sitting position, still feeling the telltale signs of exhaustion. Before she had been abducted, she would have just rolled over and gone back to sleep. She was already used to waking up nearly every two or three hours beforehand. Yet now, she couldn’t bear the thought. Not when falling asleep already reminded her so much about— that.
Without another thought, Lea tossed aside her heavy covers and dragged herself out of her twin-sized bed. She walked toward the door, grabbing the rough cotton bathrobe off the hook before swinging the door open and entering the bathroom. Completely ignoring the light switch, she flipped on the fan and walked towards the tub. Lea dropped the bathrobe on the ground and turned the water. As the water warmed up, Lea started stripping the damp, sweaty pajamas off, avoiding looking in the direction of the mirror. The darkness made the reflection harder to see, but with her eyesight now, the darkness made little difference.
Lea took her time once she stepped under the steaming water. Closing her eyes, she let herself lose track of time, letting the hot water beat down her neck. Focusing entirely on the sensation of her sharp nail scratching at her scalp as she lathered, the sting quickly washed away under the barely tolerable heat of the water. The scraping feeling of the loofa dragging across her skin. How the scent of sandalwood and citrus permeates the humid air. Even after she finished rinsing herself off, Lea sat under the stream, relaxing her muscles under the steady beat of the stream.
As soon as the water started to turn lukewarm, she shut off all the knobs, pulling herself out of the tub and wrapping the bathrobe around herself. Walking toward the mirror, she sighed, leaning over to flip the light switch. Still refusing to bring her gaze to the mirror, she grabbed her toothpaste and toothbrush and brushed every crevice. Still averting her gaze after rinsing her mouth, she grabbed the brush and roughly brushed through the wet mess. Sighing, she opened the drawer, pulled out her contact lens case, and forced herself to look up.
Lea still flinched at the sight of her inhuman eyes. The fiery red-orange hue of the iris, the slit pupils, the way her eyes seemed to nearly glow. The eyes of a monster. The eyes of her monster. Her eyes dropped. After a long moment, Lea shivered and opened the case. She spent another long moment staring at the small, delicate lenses before picking it up. Ignoring the pit of dread building in her gut, Lea opened her eye wide, carefully placing the lens in, then switching to the other. Looking down, she blinked rapidly as she got used to the delicate things.
Then came the part she loved most. Looking up, no longer were the demonic eyes that haunted her dreams. Gone were the cat-like pupils. Instead, there were bright, emerald green irises and pupils humans should have. Sure, it wasn’t the same as her original eye color, and the colored contacts and pupil adjusters did make her eyes look slightly cartoon-like. Yet, Lea couldn’t help but smile and revel in the rush of peace that filled her chest at the sight.
Shaking her head, Lea pushed away from the counter and walked back into her bedroom. Walking toward the closet, she grabbed a nice flowy brown blouse, a light black jacket, and a pair of black slacks. After dressing, she grabbed a pair of brown flats with small buckles on the side to bring the outfit together. Looking back at the alarm clock, Lea huffed when she saw she still had around four hours until the interview.
Pausing, the teenager tilted her head to the side, closed her eyes, and focused on just listening. After a moment, she could hear her father’s and uncle’s soft snores. Opening her eyes, she took a few steps to her nightstand, grabbed her phone, keys, and the Trickster’s Choice novel, and left. The upside to her newfound abilities, it certainly wasn’t an effort to sneak out anymore.
As soon as she was out of the house, she made her way to her motorcycle. She put it in neutral and started pushing it out of the driveway and up the gravel road. As she made the long trek up the road, Lea idly let her eyes roam the trees surrounding the gravel road, listening to the bird calls and scurry of faraway critters. The young blonde smiles to herself. A rare occurrence where she was glad her hearing was far more sensitive. Observing wildlife was one of the few things that genuinely calmed her down.
After a little over half an hour of walking, she finally saw the highway ahead. With a smile, she hopped on the motorcycle, changed gears, and started speeding down the smooth asphalt.
‘... Let’s see what TerraSave has to offer…’
#resident evil#dragged into the blood#original characters#chris redfield#ao3 fanfic#ao3 link#chris is only in there for the beginning of the chapter though
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smoke and mirrors - chris sturniolo
chapter two
summary: your best friend Matt backs out of plans you had made together, so you replace him with his brother. the only problem is the two of you can’t stand each other.
{enemies to lovers, fake dating}
includes : explicit language, fluff, smut(penetration, oral, fingering, etc.), angst if you squint, lots of bickering, slow burn
wc: 2.5k
-
part one
“Like this?”
“No! Like… move your hips over.”
“Chris, this feels wrong!”
“Yeah, because it’s you! Come on, just come here for the picture.”
You groan and scoot closer to Chris on the bed, slinging your leg over his hips. He was laid flat on his back and you were on your side facing him. You guys had agreed on pretending to be each others’ significant others for a short amount of time, and right now you were trying to get all the pictures you could. This was the third photo position you guys had gotten yourselves into, each one getting more intimate than the last. Your mindset was, the more pictures you took at once, the less you’d have to spend time together.
“Okay, take your picture,” you tell him, throwing your arm over his torso and looking up at him.
Chris looks down at you, your faces inches away from each other. “God, you’re so impatient. Don’t you just wanna cuddle like this for a minute?” He smirks a little before grabbing his phone with his left hand, placing his right hand on your bare thigh, snapping the picture like that.
“Okay, good. Now, uh… I don’t think you’re gonna like this next one,” Chris pushes your leg off of him and you sit up, peering down at him.
“Fuck you,” you say harshly. “What now?”
He smiles and pats his lap, and your jaw drops. “No,” you shake your head. “No way, I’m not getting on your lap.”
Chris groans. “I am not going to get hard at the thought of you on top of me if that’s what you’re worried about,” he promises.
“Yeah, well, you already think I’m hot so I don’t know,” you tell him, disgusted. “Can’t we do something else?”
Chris reaches out and pinches the back of your arm, clearly unamused. “Dude, I didn’t say I personally think you’re hot, I said you’re hotter than this chick. Big difference. Besides, I’m hot, too, and you know it, so come on, sit on daddy’s lap.”
You grimace at his word choice. “That just made me want to do it even less,” you say, but despite your words, you scoot closer until you’re next to him, then swing your leg over him and sit on his lap, your crotch sitting directly above his dick.
“See?” He smiles, reaching out to place a hand on your thigh again, even though the camera wasn’t out yet. “This isn’t so bad, right?”
You can’t help it when your throat goes dry at the feeling of his hand on your leg, and he was partially right. Matt was attractive, Nick was attractive, and unfortunately the short end of the stick with that reality was that Chris was also attractive, though you’d never say those words out loud.
You snap out of it quickly and grab your own phone to distract yourself, but Chris reaches up and grabs your phone out of your hands, putting it on the bed next to him. “Gotta look interested in me, baby,” he coos.
You groan and cross your arms, body shaking slightly as you did so, making Chris suck in a quiet breath. “Don’t call me baby, we’re not actually together.”
“Stop wiggling, yeah?” He asks you, hand on your thigh gripping tighter than it was before.
You raise your eyebrows at him, staring down with a clear attitude present on your face. “I thought you would be fine and not get hard.” You mocked him.
Chris meets your eyes. “I said I wouldn’t get hard at the thought of you but you keep moving around and I only have so much self control.”
You cringe, focusing your attention on your lower half where you no doubt start to feel the beginnings of an erection forming where your bodies met. “Can you hurry please?”
Chris picks his phone back up and opens his camera, but couldn’t resist the nasty comment that sat on his tongue, begging to be spoken. “Maybe I just wanna feel you a little longer.”
Your jaw drops, face heating up uncontrollably. “Chris!”
Chris rolls his eyes at your aggressive tone. “Just kidding, jeez. Here, put your hands here.” He pulls up the hoodie to make it look like he’s shirtless and then grabs your hands, placing them both on his stomach so you’re leaning over him, your cleavage peeking through the neckline of your shirt. With the angle change and your weight shifted onto your hands, part of you wanted to tease him, and you had no idea what was coming over you in the moment, probably just the fact that you hadn’t been in this position in so long and you were craving the attention and validation of a man, wanting to feel someone fall apart underneath you, but you quickly remind yourself who you’re dealing with when he speaks again. “Oh perfect,” he says, holding his phone up to take the picture. “That’s definitely going in my spank bank.”
“Ew, Chris!” You screech at him, smacking him on the head before standing up off the bed completely. “We’re done for right now, you’re insanely gross.”
Chris laughs at you and pulls his hoodie down, sitting up on the bed. He moved quickly, but you caught on to the quick dip of his hand in his sweatpants, clearly waistbanding his dick, but you don’t mention it and he sure as hell doesn’t either. “I’m just messing with you,” he says.
“Yeah well I’m over it,” you huff, crossing your arms again.
“Alright, get out of my room then,” Chris points to the door, and you happily oblige, leaving his room and heading up the stairs, making your way to Matt’s room where you find him sitting at his desk playing games and Nick laid on the bed playing on his phone.
Matt turns his head and smiles at you. “Hey, love. How’s being Chris’s girlfriend going?”
You groan loudly and drag your hands down your face. “Fucking terrible!” You cry. “He’s so pervy and gross and just awful to be around. I don’t know how you guys deal with him all day every day.”
Nick laughs in response. “We actually like him and he likes us.”
You shudder and grab the blankets from underneath your body, shimmying under them. “I’m taking a nap, hopefully that’ll cleanse me from the objectification I’ve endured.”
Both the boys laugh at you and go back to what they’re doing as you get comfortable and close your eyes.
Before you dozed off you found yourself wondering what things would be like if Chris wasn’t so annoying and how life would be if the two of you got along. Would you guys actually stand a chance at being in a relationship? Would either of you have feelings for each other that weren’t so negative? You’ve never thought about these possibilities before, and though it scared you slightly, you brushed it aside and let yourself drift off to sleep.
-
The four of you sat around the kitchen table later that night eating Italian food that Matt had gone and picked up, and the room was silent apart from the chewing noises that filled the air. You know the food is good if everyone is quiet you always say. But unfortunately, the sweet silence is interrupted by Chris clearing his throat and setting his fork down.
“So,” he starts, looking towards you. “I’m thinking we go on a date.”
You almost choke on your food, eyes widening. “What?!” You yell, mouth still full of food.
“Ew, swallow first. And yes, but not a real date, obviously. My idea is you can go to a fancy restaurant with Matt or something and he can take pictures of you looking all dressed up and just send them to me.” Chris suggests, and it’s not the worst idea in the world. Free dinner in a nice restaurant with your best friend? Sounds like a win win to you.
“You should’ve led with that, fuckface. Almost made me choke,” you tell him with furrowed eyebrows, wiping your mouth with your napkin.
“I typically do make women choke,” he replies with a smirk.
Everyone at the table groans in disgust at his dirty comment. “Too much,” Nick says loudly, waving his hands in the air.
Chris just laughs. “So is that a yes?”
You look at Matt and he shrugs his shoulders. “I’m fine with it,” he tells you, and you nod your head in agreement.
“Great!” Chris smiles, clapping his hands together. “I’ll make reservations for you guys and let you know when it is.”
You guys both nod and go back to eating your dinner.
After everyone was done eating, you guys migrated to the couch, where you ended up sandwiched between Matt and Chris, though Chris left a decent amount of space as opposed to Matt who sat nearly hip to hip with you.
“What are we watching?” You ask, grabbing a blanket off the back of the couch and throwing it over yours and Matt’s body.
“Get a room,” Chris grumbles, looking over at you and Matt snuggled up under the blanket.
You look towards him and smile. “If you wanna cuddle with me just say that,” you tease, kicking your feet up onto his lap.
He instantly shoves your legs off of him and scoots farther away from you. “Gross, get your feet off of me. You wish I wanted to cuddle with you, slut.”
Matt and Nick both whip their head up to look at Chris, and he immediately drops his head down towards his lap, knowing he fucked up. “Chris,” Matt spits. “Too fucking far, apologize or get the fuck out.”
“Matt, it’s fine,” you tell him, tucking your legs close to your body. Chris had never really gone that far, but you weren’t super surprised by the words he said, though it stung a little bit.
“No, it isn’t. I get you guys have your little arguments but that’s not okay,” Matt tells him again, voice as stern as the first time.
Chris sighs and picks his head back up, but only focuses on the tv in front of him, still not playing anything. “Sorry, didn’t mean to call you a slut.” He mumbles.
You just nod your head and look over at Nick and then look up at Matt. “Can we just put something on please?”
They agree and start scrolling through the streaming services, trying to find something to put on.
If you tried to think about it, you never really could pinpoint the exact moment you and Chris started acting like this, it just kind of became your guys’ normal. You’d all known each other since high school, and you clicked with Nick and Matt instantly, and you always thought Chris would come around, but he never did and your relationship never got any better. The more you hung around, the more hostile your relationship got, and the more you adapted.
It started as teasing, a “shut up” here, a “you’re so annoying” there, but as you guys continued to see each other, it just got meaner and meaner, and you’re so used to it now that you can’t imagine life without it, which is why it was so hard to imagine how he was going to act at this wedding when he had to pretend he didn’t hate you.
You guys ended up just putting on a movie you’d never seen, some chick flick rom com that only you and Nick were interested in, so you weren’t surprised when Matt and Chris grabbed their phones and started their endless scroll, until Chris looked up and over towards you.
“Hey,” he starts quietly, and you turn your head to look at him. “Can you, uh.. can you come take a picture with me? She’s texting me right now and thinks I’m lying about you. Which I guess I am, but, whatever. Just for a second?”
You think about it for a couple of moments, not really sure if cuddling up with Chris in front of his brothers is something you necessarily want to do right now, but you also don’t want to ruin the deal you two had made with each other, so you lightly nod your head and remove the blanket that covered you and Matt, scooting closer to Chris.
“How do you want to do this?” You asked him, and he just patted his leg.
“Just put your legs over mine and scoot real close, that’ll be fine. I can snap it really quick,” he says, and you oblige, scooting a bit closer than before and swinging both of your legs over one of his, draped over his thigh. You leaned your body into his, and he placed his hand on your thigh, tucked between both of your legs.
“Good?” You ask, eyes flitting up over his face. He nods and lifts his phone up to take a photo, taking a couple before looks over at you and reaches your gaze.
He takes a deep breath while staring at you, hand still resting on your thigh. “I’m sorry,” he says, voice low so his brothers couldn’t hear, but it was so quiet you almost didn’t hear him. “I really didn’t mean to call you that, it just slipped out.”
You’re shocked at the fact that he offered an actual apology, considering the fact that he’d never said sorry unless his brothers had told him to, so something about this felt a little bit more genuine than usual.
You offer him a tight lipped smile and nod your head. “I forgive you,” you tell him just as quietly.
He pulls his hand out from your thighs and taps your leg lightly. “Good, now go back to cozying up with my brother before I throw up.”
You laugh and do as he says, moving away from him and back towards Matt, who smiles sweetly at you, taking up the same position as you had with Chris, placing the blanket back over you both.
As you sat there and watched the movie, you couldn’t help but steal a few glances towards Chris, watching as he played with his lip with his free hand while he scrolled, or how he giggled to himself every time he saw a video that he found cute. The way he peeked up at the tv every so often to see what was happening, then went back on his phone to pretend he wasn’t interested in the cheesy movie.
What you were completely clueless to, though, was the way he did the same thing to you, watching as you laughed along with Nick, or how you cuddled closer into his brother, his hand rubbing your arm sweetly and habitually. He even watched the way your eyes started to flutter towards the end of the movie, clearly too tired to head home, just like most nights.
Maybe you weren’t that bad or annoying, but he was so deep in it now that he felt he could never turn back, never admit that maybe one day he’d like to be close to you like you were to his brothers. He had no idea that you’d take him up on that offer in a heartbeat.
-
a/n: part two!!! thanks for all the love on part one!!
taglist
@liiixsturniolos @madelinesturn @st6niolo @mattslolita @ifwdominicfike @sophand4n4 @chris-hallelujah @sophsturns @ariana2saucyy @045696 @m-sgirl @scorpioosworld @byhrxb @vickytaa @taelovesmattsturniolo @secret-sturniolo @theboredknightcat-blog @slvtf0rchr1s @flouqissss @gabri3la-sturns @delilahsturniolo @starstrucktyrantinfluencer @vanillsstuff @avasturniolos @hornyformatt @sturnlsstuff
#chris sturniolo#matt sturniolo#sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo smut#matt x reader#matt x you#chris sturniolo fanfic#chris x reader#chris x you#smoke and mirrors
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Unplanned- C. Sturniolo
pairing: TeenMom!reader x TeenDad!Chris
classification: fluff, high school sweethearts
warnings: teen pregnancy, suggestive content but no smut, unplanned pregnancy, unexpected child, mentions of unprotected sex but no smut, mention of throwing up & nausea, some cursing, use of y/n, long
summary: Becoming a teen mom was never in your plans, but you and Chris had to learn to make the best of it.
—
Yours and Chris’s love story was long and intricate, full of details and secrets only you two would understand. It started from an early age and only progressed as you two grew older.
You met Chris when you were just kids. The two of you were attached at the hip, always wanting to do everything together. You’d ride your bikes around the neighborhood and stay up all night playing video games. If you weren’t there, Chris wasn’t interested. If Chris didn’t do it, neither did you. You were best friends from the very beginning.
When you entered middle school, the two of you became even more inseparable. You went through an awkward stage of your lives together that included acne, growth spurts, and puberty. Middle school is a brutal time for any child, but you and Chris got through it together. Bullies and mean girls lurked in every classroom, but as long as you had Chris it was okay. You were ready to defend him if necessary and he was ready to do the same.
Eventually you entered high school and the two of you matured into young adults. Around this time all your friends began dating, but you were too attached to Chris for any boys to ask you out. Towards the end of your freshman year you realized that what you felt for Chris went beyond friendship. Those feelings only grew stronger as the school year progressed, but you were too young to understand them, so you suppressed them as much as possible.
Some time during the summer between freshman and sophomore year, Chris realized he felt the same about you. Chris confided in his brothers about his newfound crush for you and whenever you’d come around they’d tease him relentlessly about it. It never became awkward between you, though, instead you grew the courage to confess your feelings to Chris. And, to your surprise, he admitted he felt the same.
The two of you spent that summer exploring this new relationship and became even more bonded than you already were. You entered sophomore year as a couple and dated all throughout high school, falling more in love with each passing day. You shared so many firsts with Chris; your first date, your first kiss, and your first time. Everything was special because you were sharing it with Chris, he was your soulmate. Your relationship was beautiful, it was perfect.
Senior year rolled around quicker than expected, and before you knew it, it was prom night. Chris organized an elaborate promposal for you in the middle of the school’s court yard, complete with a banner, a bouquet of roses, and confetti. Everything about that moment was perfect, earning adoring looks from every other student who watched you grow as a couple over the years.
Prom night was a solidifying moment in your relationship with Chris because as it was the first time you had sex without a condom. It felt like the perfect night to completely give yourself to one another, and if you were careful, there wouldn’t be any consequences. After this night, the two of you grew stronger in your relationship. Nothing was able to break you apart even though so many people tried. If it wasn’t a mean girl it was a jock who tried catching one of your attention, but it never worked. You and Chris were locked in, you were fully committed and in it for the long haul.
After prom the only high school milestone left to complete was graduation. Although your younger years were flying by in a whirl, you were excited to enter a new chapter with Chris. The two of you had so many dreams and plans for your future together. You spent countless nights discussing it all, but you were both so naive then. Chris would gush about the luxuries he’d provide for you as adults including a house with a pool, too many cars, and anything else you wanted.
You two were about to learn the harsh reality of life the hard way.
—
It’s graduation day and you’re buzzing with excitement and nerves, this really was the end of an era for you. “You ready?” Chris asks, a huge smile plastered on his face. He couldn’t wait to graduate and start a new chapter with you that didn’t include homework and tardy bells. “Yeah, I think so,” you reply as you adjust your cap and gown. You felt extremely nauseous, but you chalked it up to nerves. You were about to cross the stage and officially enter adulthood, who wouldn’t be nervous?
Chris gives you a quick peck before grabbing your hand and leading you into the school auditorium. You take a deep breath in attempt to calm your nerves, it’s just graduation you’ll be fine. As the ceremony progresses you can’t help but feel even worse, but you try your best to ignore it so you can cross the stage and get this over with.
When you finally cross the stage you have to bite your tongue to stop yourself from throwing up, you don’t even make it back to your seat, instead running off to the bathroom with your diploma. Chris watches from his seat in confusion and worry, where were you going? He silently excuses himself and follows behind you, trying to keep up with you as you run down the halls. You barge into the bathroom, rushing into the first available stall and hunching over the toilet, immediately spewing out this mornings breakfast.
When there’s nothing else for you to throw up, you slump down onto the dirty bathroom floor and rest again the cold tile walls of the stall. You feel exhausted, a looming headache growing from the pressure caused by vomiting. Either something was seriously wrong or you ate something yesterday that didn’t sit well with you, but you knew this was NOT just nerves. You’ve never been this nervous before, it was just graduation it’s not like you had to present an award or recite a speech.
“Y/n?” Chris asks cautiously from outside the restroom, he opens the door slightly to see if you’re even in there. “In here,” you respond quietly, pushing yourself off the floor and to the sink. He walks in timidly, not sure if there was anyone else in here with you, but when he realizes it’s just you he immediately asks what’s wrong.
“I’m fine, just a little anxious,” you lie.
Chris squints his eyes at you as he watches you wash your hands feverishly and rinse out your mouth. He knew you were lying, but he wasn’t going to press it. “Well the ceremony is over. We were going to go eat, but I can ask Matt to take us home?” he’s rubbing your back lovingly, he knows something’s wrong but you don’t want to tell him. You smile at him through the mirror, drying your hands quickly so you can get out of this restroom as soon as possible.
“Yes please,” you reply quietly, grabbing your diploma and adjusting your cap. You do a once over in the mirror, trying to ensure that there’s nothing gross left over on your gown.
Once you’re sure you’re fine, you and Chris walk back out into the auditorium to find Matt and Nick.
—
Summer is the best time of all, especially now that your fun won’t be cut short once August rolls around and school starts up again. This felt like an endless summer and you were ready to spend every second of it with your boyfriend.
It was the second week of June and you were out swimming with Chris, his brothers, and a couple of your friends. Well they were swimming, you were sitting in a lawn chair by the pool, too tired to swim.
You’ve been feeling tired and sick ever since graduation, but you didn’t tell anyone because deep down you know it’s something serious. You’ve noticed how tired you look, your small but sudden weight gain, and your consistent morning sickness. All the symptoms pointed to one thing: pregnancy. But you suppressed the thought out of your head and tried your best to enjoy the summer.
“Babe, come in!” Chris calls out to you as he flails his arms around in the water, splashing some of it on you in the process. “I will in a bit. I’m trying to tan,” you reply, hoping he’ll believe your lie and go back to your friends. He can see right through you, though, so of course he doesn’t believe you. Chris hoists himself up from the water by the edge of the pool, jogging towards you as water drips off of him.
“What’s wrong? You love swimming,” he comments as soon as he’s close enough to you, taking a seat at the foot of the lawn chair. A sudden whiff of chlorine water and sunscreen from Chris hits you, causing you to instantly become nauseous, but you hold it back as you reply, “I’m fine, babe. I’m just a little tired.” He hums in response, allowing his wet hands to wander on your bare skin.
His hands begin rubbing along your thighs, “You look so sexy, babe.” You chuckle a little at this, pushing his hands off you playfully before replying, “Don’t be weird. We’re in public.” A goofy smile adorns his face as he leans in to press a kiss to your lips, his hands traveling dangerously close to the strings of your bikini. “I’m not being weird, I just love my girlfriend,” his voice is sultry as he attempts to seduce you, kissing you again.
“Let’s go to the restroom.”
Another whiff of chlorine water and sunscreen hits you, and this time you can’t hold back the gag. You cover your mouth immediately, standing abruptly from the lawn chair and rushing to the restroom. Chris watches in confusion, wondering what the hell he did to warrant that response as he follows behind you. You’re once again hunched over a toilet in a dirty stall throwing up everything in your stomach.
“What the fuck? Are you okay? What’s wrong?” a million questions come from Chris as he crouches next to you and holds your hair out of your face. This is the second time you’ve suddenly gotten sick out of nowhere, except this time he’s going to make sure you tell him what’s wrong whether you like it or not.
At this point you’re tired, nauseous, embarrassed, and you have a headache; you can’t help but start crying. “Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Chris assures you, hugging you close and rubbing circles into your back. He was always good at consoling you, but today you were so distressed that the tears just kept flowing.
“What’s wrong, pretty girl? You can tell me.”
The thing is that you didn’t know what was wrong, you only had suspicions, and those suspicions were too scary to admit out loud. “I don’t know,” you reply through sobs, shaking your head at the idea of possibly being pregnant. Chris can tell that whatever this is, it’s serious, but he doesn’t know how to navigate this situation yet. All he can do is help you clean up.
“Let’s get you cleaned up,” he whispers lovingly as he presses a kiss to your forehead and guides you towards the sink.
—
When you’ve finally calmed down you tell Chris the truth of what you think is going on. He’s taken aback, there’s no way you’re pregnant, right? You two were always safe, always concious of the consequences that come from being unprotected.
“Are you sure? We’re always safe. We’ve never had a scare before,” he tries to reason, thinking of every time the two have had sex in the last month or two. He’s almost 100% sure you weren’t pregnant.
“Prom,” you whisper, looking down at the floor as you hold back your tears. If you were pregnant you wouldn’t know what to do. You and Chris were only 18, still really young to be having a baby. There were so many dreams and plans you had, both as individuals and as a couple, that you’d never be able to do with a baby. How were you going to navigate your relationship if you took a test and it came back positive? You weren’t ready to be a mom. What was Chris going to do? He was fresh out of high school, he was even less ready to be a dad.
The realization hits him as he remembers prom night. “Holy fuck,” he replies with wide eyes, the situation suddenly becoming too real. “Have you taken a test?” he’s holding you gently by your elbows, searching your eyes for something. He doesn’t know what he’s looking for, maybe reassurance that you two will be okay if this is real, but he’s trying not to panic. “Not yet,” your reply is a small glimpse of hope that maybe this is just a scare.
You and Chris dismiss yourself from your friends, dragging Nick and Matt along with you as you make your way to the nearest drug store. You had to find out immediately whether or not this suspicion was true.
Chris instructed Matt and Nick to wait in the car as you made your way into the drug store, they were confused out of their minds as to what was going on, but complied. You searched the aisles feverishly and purchased two pregnancy tests for safe measure.
Before you go into the restroom, Chris stops you and pulls you into a hug, “No matter what happens, it’s gonna be okay.” Even though you’re still scared, the comment warms your heart.
“Promise?”
“Promise.” He kisses your forehead again before letting you go into the restroom. This moment was going to determine your future, and he wanted you to know that he was with you no matter what.
After what seemed like forever, you finally come back out of the restroom with both pregnancy tests in hand. “So?” Chris asks expectantly, chewing on his finger nails nervously. “I haven’t checked yet. I’m scared, Chris,” you reply, looking down at the pregnancy tests that are face down in your hands. “Let’s look together,” he takes one test from you.
You take a second to collect your thoughts before meeting Chris’s gaze, both of you flipping the test at the same time, but still not looking down. “I’m scared,” you say again, the nerves causing an unsettling feeling to loom over you. Chris is scared too, too scared to face the truth, so he lets you bite the bullet.
You break your gaze from his, looking down at the pregnancy test in your hand. Your stomach drops, a shocked gasp escaping your lips. This can’t be a good sign, so Chris immediately follows suit and looks at the pregnancy tests.
“Holy fuck,” he says. You were pregnant.
Matt and Nick are impatiently waiting in the car. They watch as you and Chris walk towards the car with unreadable expressions on your face, looking pale as ever. “What the fuck took so long?” Nick complains as soon as you two enter the vehicle. You sit there in silence, looking forward and dissociating completely.
“Y/n’s pregnant,” Chris says, still in shock.
Matt and Nick face you in their seats with their mouths agape, “Holy fuck.”
—
The next couple of months were hard. You and Chris had to suck it up and tell your parents, none of them were happy, but they can’t say they didn’t see it coming. You were forced to grow up as you and Chris began preparing to become parents, but you always made the best of it.
You swelled up very quickly, your protruding belly a constant reminder of the baby you and Chris were bringing into the world. Neither of you were ready for a baby, but you learned to come to terms with it over the span of your pregnancy. Chris was now actually very excited to become a dad, of course he was scared, but he was happy to be doing this with you. There was no one else he’d rather have as the mother of his children but you.
“This is perfect for the baby,” Nick comments as he holds up a cute floral onesie. You were currently shopping for simple baby necessities with Chris, Matt, and Nick. The gender of the baby was still unknown, but Nick was secretly hoping for a niece. “We’re just here for the necessities, Nick. Stuff like strollers, a hamper, maybe a cute diaper bag… Plus, we don’t even know the gender of the baby yet,” you reply with an eye roll as you waddle through the aisles.
“Okay? It’s still perfect for the baby,” he sasses as he throws the onesie into the shopping cart without another word. You ignore him, waddling into another section in search of the perfect stroller.
Chris and Matt, who had wandered off long ago, enter the same section. They were holding a plethora of baby clothes and all of them were decorated with dinosaurs, tractors, sports references, and anything else boy related. “Baby, look! For the baby!” Chris exclaims excitedly as he shows you all the cute clothes he and Matt just picked out. Chris had a hunch that you were having a boy and Matt was hoping for a nephew.
“This one says ‘Me + Mommy = One Broke Daddy,’ “ Matt laughs as he shows you a onesie he found with a stupid quote on it, he was a sucker for stupid quotes. “Get that out of the cart, my niece will wear none of that!” Nick protests as he swats Chris and Matt away. “Niece?! My NEPHEW is gonna love these,” Matt replies, dumping all the clothes into the cart dramatically.
Meanwhile, Chris is checking up on you, rubbing your stomach and kissing all over your face. “How you feeling, mama?” He started calling you mama about a month ago and the nickname was definitely suiting now. “My feet hurt,” you reply, wrapping your arms around his waist. You were so grateful for him, he truly hasn’t left your side ever since you found out you were pregnant.
“Can you guys stop? She’s already pregnant,” Nick comments with a dramatic eye roll. “Agreed. What are y’all tryna do? Make twins?” Matt joins in on the teasing, loving how uncomfortable you become every time.
“Nah, triplets,” Chris replies jokingly with a chuckle, seemingly unbothered. Your face is red hot in embarrassment.
—
The ultrasound tech lathers your stomach in cold gel as she prepares you for your ultrasound. Today you were going to find out the gender of your baby. Chris insisted on accompanying you of course, he’s eager to find out whether he’s having a son or a daughter. You’re excited to find out, but all you truly want is for your baby to be healthy. Deep down you’re secretly hoping for a girl, though. The idea of dressing your baby up in cute clothes, adorning her hair with bows and painting the nursery pink was exciting.
“You guys ready?” the ultrasound tech asks, as she hovers the transducer of your stomach. Chris squeezes your hand reassuringly. “We’re ready,” you reply, squeezing his hand back.
Chris can’t stop smiling throughout the entire appointment, he loves being able to see his baby on the screen. “There’s Baby’s heartbeat,” the tech says as the room is filled with the rhythmic beat of your baby’s heartbeat. You were happy to find out that your baby had a strong, steady heart beat and was completely healthy. You smile at the news and squeeze Chris’s hand again.
“Okay. Are you ready to find out if Baby is a boy or a girl?” the tech massages the transducer into your stomach as she verifies the babies gender. “Yes, please,” Chris replies eagerly, he can’t wait.
“Looks like you’re having a… boy.” She says it casually, but it’s enough to cause Chris to engulf you in a hug. He’s so happy, even if it was a girl he’d be happy, but this is honestly the best news ever. “I love you so much,” he says, his hands squishing your cheeks together her as he kisses you. “I love you too,” you reply with a chuckle, equally as excited as him.
“And I love you,” he whispers to your stomach as he talks to your son, planting a gentle kiss on it.
—
Once you hit the 9 month mark you couldn’t wait to give birth. Your feet always hurt, your back was worse, and you were so big you needed help to get up. You were tired of carrying around your son’s weight so you were actively trying to induce your labor. Some days you’d bounce on a bouncy ball. Other days you’d just pace around your room. All you knew was that this baby needed to get out of you immediately.
“You hungry, mama?” Chris asks, from beside you on the couch. The two of you were currently watching your favorite movie, it always made you cry, even before your pregnancy. You were always hungry nowadays, so that was a stupid question on his part. You send him a small glare which answers his question perfectly. He laughs slightly before asking what you’re in the mood for. Truthfully, you were in the mood for any and everything, that’s how hungry being pregnant made you.
Chris had compiled a mental list of every weird pregnancy craving you had throughout your pregnancy, so he decided to get the one that seemed to become your favorite; pineapple pizza. He ordered the pizza for you before returning to the movie on screen, listening to your sniffles. You always managed to cry at the exact same part of the movie, and ever since becoming pregnant your emotions only intensified.
The pizza arrived 30 minutes later, the savory aroma instantly causing your mouth to water. You would never eat this if you weren’t pregnant, but the cravings were so insatiable at this point that you’d eat it no matter how weird it looked or sounded. “This pizza is actually what made me pregnant,” you moan, taking a big bite of your first slice. Chris laughs, picking the pineapples off and doing the same. He loves you and your son so much that he’s willing to eat pineapple pizza.
After a while you become tired again and head to your room to sleep, but on your way there you feel a sharp pain shoot through your abdomen. You hold onto the wall for support as your breath quickens, you try and steady yourself. It’s just a small contraction, you’ve been having these all week, you’ll be fine. When you think you’re fine, you let go of the wall and begin walking to your room again, but are met with another, much stronger contraction.
This felt like the real thing, the baby was definitely coming. “Chris!” you call out, another contraction shooting through your body. You’re breathing heavily now, trying to focus on fully exhaling and inhaling. “Chris!” you exclaim louder this time, walking back into the living room slowly. He didn’t hear you the first time, but this time he’s jumping over the couch and running towards you urgently.
“Baby’s coming,” you breath out, yelping out in pain as you hold onto him for support. As if on cue, your water breaks. “Holy fuck. Holy fuck,” he says, looking down at the puddle of water on the floor. Chris guides you to the front door, leading you to the car. Once you’re in the car he runs back into the house for your hospital bag. He manages to grab your phones and the car keys on the way out, haphazardly locking the front door before rushing into the drivers seat.
Chris had no idea how to drive, but he was about to become a dad and there was no time to call Matt for a ride right now. “Chris, hurry!” You whimper, the pain becoming too much too fast. “I’m going baby, I’m going,” he reassures, holding your hand as he begins driving to the hospital.
On the way there he calls his brothers, his parents, and your parents to inform them that you’re in labor. Everyone is so excited and they begin asking too many question, but Chris hangs up on them after telling them which hospital you’d be at. He doesn’t have time for all that right now, he’s trying to juggle your pain, driving a car for the first time, and the anxiety he’s feeling about becoming a dad.
“Almost there, baby. You’re doing so good,” he says lovingly, rubbing your stomach as he keeps his eyes on the road. He’s speeding down the high way, somehow managing to expertly weave his way through traffic. The car is filled with your groans and heavy breathing, you could practically feel the baby crowning.
When you arrive to the hospital the staff immediately rushes you into the delivery room, preparing Chris quickly so he can join you. This was such a crazy, chaotic, beautiful moment for you two. Chris is scared, excited, nervous, anxious, everything.
The doctors are instructing you to push, the sweat gathering on your forehead as you use all your strength to push this baby out. Your hand is squeezing onto Chris’s so hard he’s sure his fingers are broken, but it can’t be anything compared to what you’re feeling. He’s coaching you through the entire thing, encouraging and reassuring you that you’re doing good. Although you want to tell him to shut up, you wouldn’t be able to do any of this on your own, so you focus your attention on your breathing and pushing your baby out.
“One last push.”
You use all the energy left in your body to push one last time, your baby finally being born. Your son’s wails fill the room, causing a wave of relief to wash over you. “You did so good, mama,” Chris whispers, kissing your forehead lovingly. He’s never been more in love with you than in this moment.
The doctor smiles as she places the baby in your arms. A motherly instincts immediately overtakes you and all you want to do is protect your son for the remainder of your life. Nothing matters but him, Chris, and the little family you just became. The baby is calm now, your heartbeat soothing him as soon as he’s in your arms.
“He’s so beautiful,” you whisper, as you and Chris admire him in awe. He was perfect. “He looks like you,” you comment again, taking in every detail of your child. Chris wants to frame this moment of his new little family forever. Despite just having given birth, you look beautiful.
“I love you,” Chris says, kissing you for the first time as actual parents. “I love you,” you reply, looking back down at your son. This was an unplanned, beautiful moment that you wouldn’t trade for the world.
—
MASTERLIST
A/n: working on some requests 😋 enjoy honey bunches
- L.A.M.B👼🏻💗
#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#sturniolo#sturniolo fanfic#christopher sturniolo fanfic#christopher sturniolo x y/n#christopher sturniolo x reader#chris x y/n#chris x reader#Christopher sturniolo smut#sturniolo x reader#matthew sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#nicolas sturniolo#nick sturniolo#matt sturniolo fanfic#matt x reader#matt x y/n#sturniolo smut#christopher sturniolo fanfiction#nicolas sturniolo x reader#sturniolo fanfiction#matthew sturniolo#chris sturniolo imagine#chris sturniolo oneshot#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x you
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For the Birds— Part 4 | JJK
I want you to stay even though you don’t want me.
♡ Pairing: Jungkook x Reader (feat. Yuri)
♡ Genre: angst, smut, future fluff!
♡ Rated: R for Regret
♡ Series Warnings: Lots of smut (not always healthy), cheating, discussions of depression, this series includes Jk in a pretty toxic environment, degradation (not the sexy kind), manipulation, and overall Jk being in an emotionally abusive situation!
♡ Chapter Warnings: panic attack, lots of bad self-deprecating thoughts, repressed Jungkook makes an appearance once again, masturbation (m + f), use protection (!!!), public sex, oral (m + f receiving), koo is a bj virgin, fingering, unprotected sex (be smart!)
♡ Word Count: 37.9k
♡ Summary: As the son of the CEO at Golden Tech, a marriage was arranged in the name of business. Jungkook really tried to make the most of his situation and be the best husband he could be, but no matter how much he tried, his wife just doesn’t seem to want him. Then you… you came into his life and his eyes couldn’t help but wander.
♡ Now Playing: Liquor by Chris Brown— see masterlist for playlist!
♡ Betas: Thank you so much to @illyrian-book-lover and @mellowladyanchor for reading this part for me! If you’re interested in betaing a future part, dm me! If you're interested in becoming a permanent beta for this series please first click here and refer to 'details about the job' section for more details and dm for any questions you might have! Betas get early access to chapters, so if you're free to help out and can't wait for next chapter, consider joining the team!!!
♡ Author’s Note: I started this thinking it was going to be one of the shortest chapters but 😀 Hehehehehe anyway, get cozy, get some snacks, maybe something nice and warm to drink as well, and enjoy my friends!
No reposting, modifying. Translating is not allowed unless given explicit permission. Thank you so much : D
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It was still too early for him; the sun was barely peeking over the skyline. Businesses were just beginning to flip their signs to open, the sounds of the city were growing louder by the minute— only a soft murmur in the restful city background, and daily menus were just now beginning to be set outside for the few passersby who were walking the streets this early morning.
It was in these initial hours on the first day of November that Min Yoongi arrived at his office. He had an iced Americano firmly grasped in his hand despite the chilly temperature outside. He always preferred the drink in its cooler state, no matter the weather, to quickly wake him up in the morning. It worked enough to get him here, but never as much as he needed it to.
He yawned as the elevator slowly rode up to the floor his office resided on. He still had a few hours before his first appointment, but Yoongi always came early to do menial tasks like office bills or general prep work for appointments. He didn’t have too much to do today, but some important documents he’d been putting off were calling his name.
His eyes lazily drifted over to Secretary Kim’s desk, as they always did, ready to say a brisk “good morning” before heading into his office until the time neared his first appointment.
Yoongi was so out of it this morning. He and Heran were up all night with their little Bora. They both figured more of her baby teeth were coming in and that’s what’s been making their daughter so fussy these days. Heran especially had been a little worried after their third all-nighter, but Yoongi was quick to notice the little bumps in her gums upon further inspection, indicating she was likely just teething. It had been a rough few nights, last night especially, but eventually he was able to get her to fall asleep in his arms after he let his wife go back to bed.
He languidly glanced over at Secretary Kim ready to wave, but her wide eyes quickly caught his attention as she discreetly pointed toward the waiting area. He wasn’t expecting anyone this early but lo and behold was the man he hadn’t seen in seven months.
His big, round eyes were instantly recognizable as they stared up at him when he noticed Yoongi standing there. This was certainly unexpected. He definitely didn’t have Jeon Jungkook booked today.
“Mr. Jeon! What a surprise!” Yoongi smiled as he walked over to him.
Jungkook stood up, and Yoongi took particular interest in the way he shakily shifted his weight from one side to the other. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days and Yoongi could immediately tell something was wrong.
“Hi— I’m sorry for barging in so suddenly like this…” Yoongi could hear the strain in his voice.
“No issue at all, my door is always open.” He smiled but Yoongi hoped he got the point. His door was always open, no matter what the issue might be.
“I— I um… I wanted to talk to you— and… I can come back later if you’re busy, but—” Jungkook seemed fidgety and could hardly look at the doctor, the floor seeming to hold his attention more than Yoongi’s concerned gaze.
Alarm bells were going off in his head. Normally he didn’t take walk-ins like this, but when the circumstances seemed dire, like in today's case, someone’s well-being was always more important than anything else. Something clearly wasn’t right with him, and he still had a few more hours until his first appointment anyway. No harm in this at all.
Yoongi glanced over to his secretary and they both shared the same worried expression before he guided Jungkook toward the door to his office.
It had been seven months since he’d seen him, but Yoongi could instantly tell Jungkook seemed different. As he turned on the lights in his office that fact became more clear. Since the time that they had last seen each other, Jungkook evidently looked more tired, the dark circles around his eyes were prominent, but he did a good job of hiding it in the way his hair had grown to hang lowly over his eyes. Yoongi also thought he seemed paler, like he hadn’t seen the sun in weeks, and he could have sworn his round face had grown more gaunt as well.
Yoongi had hoped that the couple’s absence after their last session meant that good things had come between them. Despite only having one session, he thought that maybe the glaring problems of their relationship had become apparent, and now that they were in the open, they had found themselves on a path to a happy and healthy relationship.
Yoongi wished this meeting had been a reunion of sorts, that Jungkook was coming to visit just to thank him for the session, or to simply catch up, or even just coming to ask for more advice in the long journey of building up their relationship. Any sort of sign, really, to indicate that they were working on the distressing issues in their marriage and that progress had been made in the seven months since they last saw each other.
Unfortunately, Jungkook’s appearance alone was enough to show his optimism had been in vain. And to make matters even more concerning, as soon as Yoongi shut the door behind them, he watched Jungkook haphazardly stumble over and collapse on the couch.
Yoongi hurriedly joined him by his side, his worry soaring to even greater heights seeing Jungkook desperately tangle his fingers through his hair. His grip on the strands was so firm that Yoongi feared he’d pull out the tresses threaded in his grasp. Sitting this close now, he could smell that Jungkook had been drinking, probably excessively too. It wasn’t looking good; time had not been kind to him. If anything, things seemed worse.
His soft whimpers slowly began to fill the growing silence.
“Jungkook…?” Yoongi asked gently as he placed a hand on his back.
“I’m s—sorry… so sorry. I should have called befo—before I came, I’m so sorry.” If it wasn’t already evident in his voice, Yoongi could see his hands in his hair were shaking.
“Like I said before, my door is always open. Did something happen?” Yoongi was trying to be calm, but the memories of their last session came flooding back in a rush and his mind raced with the possibilities of what had made him so frantic.
The question just seemed to make things worse, and like in their last session, Yoongi feared Jungkook was on the verge of another panic attack. Jungkook’s sobs became louder and his breathing grew more shallow with each breath he took.
“Deep breaths, take your time,” Yoongi reassured, gently rubbing circles on his back. Jungkook quickly seemed to listen and tried his best to focus on the doctor’s words.
“Yuri— I—” Jungkook finally released the death grip on his hair and leaned back on the couch, letting his tears flow down his cheeks.
“I cheated on my wife last night.” It was like he had practiced saying this with how clear it was despite the shakiness in his voice. The statement seemed to linger in the air as Yoongi processed his words. He tried not to show his immediate shock at the statement. From what he could remember from the last time he spoke with Jungkook, this was a pretty big deal, which could explain the distress.
“I wish I was coming here to— to tell you how bad I felt about doing it, but—” Jungkook’s lip started to quiver. “I was up all night and I couldn’t stop thinking about it— I should feel bad, I want to feel bad, but…” More tears rolled down his cheeks.
“It just felt so good.”
The confession made it all too real as he looked at the doctor. It made him feel even more like a monster.
Jungkook had spent the night trying to make himself feel bad about his time with you. He’d wandered around the apartment looking at all the pictures littered on the tables and walls of him and Yuri, hoping that would spark fond feelings of their relationship.
If someone visiting their apartment saw the plethora of photos they have sprinkled around the place, it would seem like the couple shared many memories together. But just like their entire relationship, it was merely an illusion.
When they first moved in Yuri had taken on the majority of the work decorating their apartment. She had an eye for interior design. Aside from modeling, she was quite passionate and knowledgeable about the subject— it’s what she originally went to school for before she was scouted and modeling became her main priority.
The place mainly reflected her taste, but she’d ask Jungkook his opinions occasionally on some of her ideas, and he was pretty easy-going, so he just let her have her fun. He also knew how much she enjoyed it, it was one of the things he’d learned on their honeymoon when she confessed her ambition to open her own business someday. It was important to her, and it honestly warmed his heart to see how passionate she was decorating their new home together.
Right before they officially moved in, Yuri had signed them up for a bunch of photo shoots to help fill in the relatively empty picture frames around the apartment. The only memories they had were of their wedding, honeymoon, and a couple of pictures from their dates before they were engaged. Memories, yes, but certainly not enough for a couple who decided to take a leap of faith and get married so young.
Professional photoshoots with the photographer she shot with regularly were a weekly occurrence for about a month. Jungkook had cherished this time since he was still trying to process how uncomfortable things had become after they came back from their honeymoon. That was really the only time they would speak to each other and things weren’t awkward.
Jungkook had hoped that just being in the apartment would remind him of his marriage and ignite the shame that he had just committed a horrible sin, one that could have gotten him killed a couple of centuries ago. And yet, as Jungkook stood there trying to reminisce about all of their fond memories, he was also trying his best to ignore the way his length pleaded for you all over again.
Pathetic… more than that really.
He’d finally grabbed a beer out of the fridge at some point, hoping at the very least he could stop thinking about you and maybe try and get some sleep before he needed to go to work in the morning. The beer didn’t help, it never did. Rather it made his guilt, or his lack thereof, echo even louder.
Jungkook had looked to Dr. Min with the hope that he would be a voice of reason, a slap to the face to make him feel the mortification he should right now.
Jungkook stared at the doctor, just waiting for the look of disgust he was hoping for. He wanted someone to tell him how insane he sounded, how much of a terrible person he was for it. Instead, he couldn’t read the look on the doctor’s face as the words started to process in his mind. It made him that much more anxious. He wanted an immediate reaction, he wanted Dr. Min to scream at him if he had to, but instead, he just looked off in the distance as he never once stopped his gentle massage across his back.
“What makes you say that?” Dr. Min finally asked after the silence started to linger for a little too long.
“I didn’t know— know it could feel that good.” Jungkook’s body instantly reacted to the mention of last night— this morning really. It hadn’t been that long. It was all so clear and got even more so the more he tried not to think about it.
“And what makes you say that?” Dr. Min repeated with a gentle smile on his face.
Jungkook was being vague. Yoongi had a feeling this was a common occurrence, but those details truly mattered right now.
“You don’t have to get explicit, it's just— If I’m recounting correctly, I know the last time we spoke you mentioned that you didn’t have much experience besides Yuri. What was it like then, stepping outside of your relationship?” Yoongi clarified, noticing Jungkook seemed a little confused.
Jungkook turned away as his mind traveled back to early this morning… you, your lips, your hands, your skirt bunched around your waist.
“She touched me.” The words just slipped out of his mouth without much thought. “No one ever did that before.” At least the way you had. As delusional as it was, for a split second he felt wanted, like someone actually craved him as badly as he did for them. It was nonsense, Jungkook just happened to be blessed that night by your unwavering kindness even to someone as pathetic as him in a moment of weakness. But still, he knew something felt different about last night.
Yoongi hummed, remembering that the topic had come up in their session.
“To be honest… Now that I think about it, I never really enjoyed it that much beforehand.” Jungkook stared off into the distance, coming to a revelation that he was aware of but never fully articulated until now.
“Sex?” Yoongi put it bluntly, making Jungkook’s face flush slightly.
He shyly nodded.
“I thought I did. I liked it when she just acknowledged my existence, it would make my day. I wanted anything from her really, but I think when it came to being intimate it just made me feel…” A word bounced around in his head, a sour word he knew spoke true to his feelings whenever he was with Yuri, yet it never materialized enough to explain to the doctor. After a while Jungkook just sighed and gave up, deciding to continue. “I think I just wanted her close. I wanted Yuri to want me, and I feel like that’s when I felt it the most. I craved it so much that I bet I seemed pathetic, but even then, I don’t think I really enjoyed it— not in the same way at least.” Jungkook struggled to fully articulate what he was trying to say, and just hoped Dr. Min could get the picture.
Yuri never touched him like that. She hardly touched him at all. Jungkook had always craved affection, but he’d never known how much he would truly enjoy it until now.
“I’m hopeless, aren’t I…?” This would normally have been a moment he would have tried to laugh at, but his heart hurt so much, he went back to crying.
Why didn’t he feel guilty?
“Jungkook, look… Can I be honest with you for a second?” Yoongi eventually said. He seemed serious.
Jungkook looked over at the doctor, ready for the slap to the face he came for.
“I’m trying to look at this situation as objectively as I can. It’s been a while since we talked and I never really got Yuri’s side when I wanted to speak to you both one-on-one. As much as I probably shouldn’t, I think this is a situation where I need to take my therapist hat off and approach this like I’m just your friend giving you my two cents. Can I do that?” Yoongi asked before he continued.
Jungkook steadily nodded.
Yoongi took a deep breath and one good look at Jungkook before continuing. “You don’t look good.” His words were blunt, but he had a look of genuine concern on his face.
Jungkook’s eyes widened, not at all expecting that to be what he was going to say.
“You look like shit if I’m being honest.” Yoongi reiterated, wanting to be even more straightforward. As hurtful as it might sound, it was the truth. He didn’t even know Jungkook that well and he could clearly see the last few months had not been kind to him. It might have been different if he had no inclination as to why that might be the case, but considering what they’ve discussed so far, plus the fact that he’d briefly met his wife, he already knew a problem he could help advise on. Hopefully a bit of no-nonsense advice might set him on the right path.
“I’ve seen all types of couples come in through those doors, and many more before I got my own office. I’ve helped couples rekindle their relationships that were in horrendous conditions. Some were just minor issues that they needed help mediating and talking through. Others… I’ll be honest and say I’m surprised they even worked out. No relationship is perfect, but as long as there’s love, there’s hope. You and Yuri are a special case. You both never had those feelings at any point of your relationship that I could help remind you of.”
Yoongi had spent some time after Jungkook’s last session contemplating the best advice he could give to a couple who had never properly loved each other. Helping them was basically asking them to build a relationship from scratch, a mission Jungkook seemed dead set on doing, and it might have been possible if their relationship didn’t hold such animosity.
The way Yuri acted in the one session he met her in was honestly unacceptable. Her words were said out of spite, not out of hurt, or even in hopes of betterment— she just wanted to make it hurt as much as possible. Hostile relationships weren’t a foreign subject to him, but it was clear by Jungkook’s panic attack that what he saw probably didn’t even scratch the surface of their relationship behind closed doors.
Yoongi would help anyone who came through his doors, but when he suspected someone was causing more harm than good, and not even trying to make things work, there was little he could do. Being even more honest with himself, he didn’t want to help them. Toxic relationships aren’t good for anyone’s well-being, and it went against the very reason he became a therapist to encourage Jungkook to “stick it out” and hope things get better.
This wasn’t even just toxic…
Jungkook looked like he got hit by a bus, and then it backed up, ran over him again, backed up, and just kept repeating the cycle to make sure they got him. He did not look good, and although he didn’t know Jungkook all that well and there could be many things in his life that might be causing his mental break, he could never forget his face as Yuri spewed those harsh words at him.
What he did know was that she certainly wasn’t helping.
“You and Yuri… I don’t think your relationship is healthy to continue— not now at the very least. I think you need some time to regain your footing before even entertaining the idea of having healthy discussions about your relationship. I never thought I’d say this, but I think the affair could be a good thing for you in some way. Hopefully it might get you to think more about your relationship with your wife and could aid in the overall discussion on whether it should continue.” It was certainly strange hearing that out of the doctor’s mouth. Never in a million years did Jungkook expect that when he came over.
“The fact that you’re telling me you didn’t really enjoy sex in general until last night, that you only wanted it as a way to get close to Yuri… I mean, I hope you know that’s not good.” Yoongi laid it out plainly, hoping he would see the issue.
Jungkook stared down at the ground, seemingly lost in thought. “But it’s all my fault…”
“Jungkook—”
“It’s my fault, everything is. If I was better— fuck, and here I am cheating on her— I— I—” The tears started spilling past his eyes, and Yoongi could tell Jungkook was seconds away from a breakdown.
His hands quickly tangled in his hair, but even with the dark locks in the way Yoongi could still see the way they shook. His breathing grew more shallow, and it was obvious he wasn’t listening to him anymore.
Yoongi quickly leaned over and wrapped an arm around him.
“Take deep breaths for me.” Yoongi softly instructed, but things got worse before they got better.
He wasn’t entirely surprised this was happening, Jungkook seemed off since the moment he first said hello. Things had since escalated, but he feared this attack had started long before he stepped back into his office.
Jungkook seemed panicked realizing that this was happening again. He was almost hyperventilating at this point, but Yoongi was there just like the last time. Jungkook looked at him for help with tears in his eyes and Yoongi made sure he held his gaze as he started taking calm, deep breaths, hoping Jungkook would mirror him.
It was bad, really bad actually. Yoongi was starting to worry Jungkook might pass out, but eventually he was able to catch his breath enough so he could participate in the breathing exercises.
“I’m— I’m so sorry— I’m so—so sorry!” Yoongi was shocked Jungkook was able to talk at all, but unsurprised that he was back to apologizing for something he didn’t need too.
This, this is exactly why Yoongi truly believed their relationship was beyond saving at this point. This wasn’t just a rough patch, and even the word toxic didn’t feel like it was enough either. Abuse— emotional abuse— Jungkook was showing similar symptoms to those he’s treated who came from situations where their partner was verbally abusive, degrading them every day to the point they saw little value in themselves anymore. But this was a huge accusation, one Yoongi didn’t want to share with Jungkook just yet. He didn’t know Yuri or the situation enough to throw that term at her, but Yoongi just knew this relationship was not good for Jungkook in the slightest.
He eventually managed to calm Jungkook down enough to repeat the phrase he told him last time while he went to get him some water.
“It’s okay not to be okay.” Cleverly handpicked from the title of the popular Netflix show many of his patients were familiar with.
Jungkook had calmed down for the most part. They both sat in silence— Jungkook’s soft whines occasionally filled the space along with the crinkling of the water bottle he held tightly in his grasp. It honestly hurt to watch him like this. It’s not like he knew the guy all that well, but Yoongi was always quick to get attached to anyone he looked after… and something about Jungkook reminded him of a stray puppy he found on the street. It was sick and injured, and Yoongi wanted nothing more than to take it home and nurse it back to health. Now, Jungkook wasn’t a stray puppy by any means, but from the meetings they shared he held the same innocence and fragility you might look at a puppy with. He was so broken, young, and had so much going for him still.
It wasn’t even Jungkook’s fault that he ended up in this situation, a crazy expectation was placed on him at a young age in a world that seemed so foreign to the doctor. Yoongi might not understand it, but he couldn’t just sit back and watch Jungkook essentially give up and spiral further and further into a hole he might not eventually be able to pull himself out of.
“You don’t have to answer this if you’re not comfortable; I’m just curious… Who was it with?” The question seemed to linger in the air for a long time. At first, Yoongi thought Jungkook just wasn’t in a talking mood anymore, or maybe he needed to clarify, but eventually he answered.
“She works at Golden Tech… we stayed late last night working on things and…” Jungkook trailed off, letting the silence speak louder than he could.
Yoongi nodded his head, getting the picture. “Was it just a spur of the moment thing or…?” he continued.
Jungkook was quiet for a little while, but eventually, he shook his head as a few tears trickled down his cheeks.
“No… yes… maybe…? I had been thinking about her for a while and… it had been so long since Yuri and I… you know…? We had a fight that morning because of it and… I don’t know, I think I had a breakdown. She was there for me and so warm and—” Jungkook had to stop himself abruptly knowing how strange that sounded. It made him think back to his time with you in his office. His face flushed at the recollection, and Yoongi smiled at him.
“It’s alright. She sounds nice if she was there for you like that. How long have you thought about this?”
“It’s been years— probably since she started working at the company.” Jungkook felt himself getting choked up at the shame of it all. “It got worse as time went on and I saw more of her— it’s one of the reasons I booked Yuri and I for therapy back then— she was in my head too much.”
Interesting.
“Do you have feelings for her?” Another blunt question from the doctor that Jungkook was certainly unprepared for. What he said was so off the wall that it warranted a spit-take like he was in some sitcom. He was left completely unable to process the words that spilled from Dr. Min’s mouth. The question honestly warranted an even more dramatic response.
“W-What?!” Jungkook stared at the doctor.
“You heard me.” Yoongi was both joking and incredibly serious. Feelings would change the whole story.
“It’s not like that,” Jungkook stated confidently. “I was just desperate, and I’m very married. It was just a mistake, a fluke.” He echoed your words from last night. You were right after all.
“A fluke? But didn’t you come in here saying you couldn’t stop thinking about it?” Yoongi pointed out.
Jungkook suddenly got very quiet.
“Okay Jungkook, I’m going to need you to listen very carefully to what I’m about to say— you can do that, right?” Yoongi put his hand on Jungkook’s shoulder to get him to look him in the eye. He hated eye contact, it just made him flustered, but he would do anything to ensure Jungkook was paying attention.
“In all my years as a couples therapist I never thought I’d say this, but I think taking some time apart from Yuri to go out and live your own life might be the best option to go from here. I think you’re not in the right headspace yet to have a productive conversation with her about the issues in your relationship— I think you could use some time apart to clear your head and get your thoughts in order.”
Blunt, the doctor wasn’t beating around the bush at all.
“You need to take some time for yourself and make sure you’re okay before prioritizing your relationship. You’re still so young, you got married really young— I feel like it’s hard to even have those conversations with Yuri when you might not even be sure what you want in the first place. That’s not your fault, but you deserve to take some time for yourself to figure it out.”
Yoongi was still working on how to navigate his own marriage and he specialized in the field. Managing a relationship with the newly added challenge of parenthood was a territory he’d only covered with clients in the past, but experiencing it personally was a completely different story. Even he was still learning to deal with the big change in him and his wife’s life. He couldn’t imagine going through all the challenges of marriage when he was twenty-six, let alone twenty-two. That certainly would have spelled disaster.
“I think these issues run deeper than what I could help you with in couples therapy, and honestly Jungkook, I recommend taking some time to evaluate if your relationship is something you want to continue. I don’t know what happens behind closed doors, so I don’t want to overstep, but I’m seeing a lot of red flags in the way Yuri treats you. No relationship should have you feeling like this, and at the very least, I think some time apart will help you get some perspective and communicate this to her.”
Jungkook continued to stare at him with wide eyes, and Yoongi just hoped he was listening.
“Removing yourself entirely I think should be the first step— focusing on yourself, doing the things you like, and spending time with people who make you feel happy and appreciated would be good for you. It would hopefully help get you back on your feet. However, I know this situation is still complicated.”
“You should tell Yuri what happened last night, your feelings about it, why it happened, etcetera… I know it will be hard, and I can’t tell you what her reaction to this might be, but it’s in the past now, and honesty is the least you can offer her at this point.” Despite his mixed feelings toward Yuri, he still didn’t condone cheating. He’d been on the other side of that story before, and going behind someone’s back and lying might honestly be worse than the act itself.
“It will give her the chance to make her own decision about the future of your relationship. If she doesn’t end things right then and there and doesn’t mention it already, you should say that you need a little space. You can say this was my idea if you have to. But for your sake Jungkook, and for the sake of your relationship, I think you should take a step back so you can have the opportunity to learn and explore exactly what you want moving forward.” This seemed like the only path Jungkook could take at this point. He didn’t know how Yuri would react to this considering they never truly had a relationship, but if she still wanted to work things out, Jungkook needed some time away from her to hopefully give him a chance to be in a better mental state. Then maybe they could have a proper conversation about the future of their relationship.
Yoongi had only turned away for a second during his closing statement, but it was enough that when he looked back, Jungkook’s eyes had fluttered closed, and he looked like he was about three seconds away from dozing off.
“Jungkook, did you hear me?” Yoongi shook him lightly, making Jungkook jolt awake.
“Yes— sorry! Sorry, sorry— fuck, I’m so sorry!” Jungkook was apologizing once again, and Yoongi already felt bad.
“I just, sorry— I hardly slept last night or the night before… I’m running on three hours of sleep from two days ago.” Jungkook tried to laugh it off as he rubbed his tired eyes, but having this moment of calm after everything that’s happened was enough for the need to sleep to overwhelm him.
Yoongi softly rubbed his back again. “You know that’s not good, right?”
“I know, and I have this big meeting later— I’m doomed.” In that instant, the haziness of sleep had clouded his brain. He couldn’t think straight, and he had to present at the meeting later along with you… Jungkook didn’t notice Yoongi’s concerned gaze as he tried to wake himself up.
“You did hear me earlier, right?” Yoongi asked again.
“I did…” He wasn’t lying. His eyes might have closed at some point, but he was taking in every word the entire time.
“What will you do next then?”
“I don’t know.” It was a lot. Too much was happening and he was too tired to really think about what he should do right now.
Yoongi nodded. “It’s a lot, I understand. I just want to make sure you’ll think about what I said.”
Jungkook looked over and Yoongi could see how quickly his eyes had grown red. He looked like he could pass out at any moment.
“I will.”
Yoongi watched Jungkook rub his eyes before he tried to open them up. It looked like it was taking everything in him to keep them open. “Jungkook, maybe you should take a nap before you head out again.” Yoongi suddenly said.
Jungkook blinked a couple of times before turning toward the doctor. “Huh?”
“You can sleep on the couch. I don’t have my first appointment till 12:30, so you can stay here until then.” It was a generous offer, and one he wouldn’t normally make, but he felt it was necessary given Jungkook’s condition.
“That’s really nice of you, but I have work I need to—”
“Mmm, you don’t think your work will be affected if you haven’t slept right in the last 48 hours?” Yoongi interrupted.
Jungkook was about to say something, but the more he thought about it and his eyes continued to sting, the more he knew the doctor was right. Truth be told, Jungkook doesn't sleep much these days anyway. He was busy as it was, but almost any time he got in bed, his head would be swimming with so many thoughts it took forever to fall asleep. However, even then, these last two days had definitely taken a toll on him. If it was any other day, he would have insisted he needed to get back to work, but really, he just had to be there for the meeting later; any other work could be handled at a different point if need be. The doctor was right as well— how could he get anything done like this? Even walking seemed like an impossible task.
“You’d really let me stay?” Jungkook’s voice was soft, but Yoongi noticed he sounded surprised.
“Of course. Rest up.” Yoongi gave him a slight smile before standing up. “I’ll just be over at my desk doing a little work. I won’t be loud.”
Jungkook stared up at Dr. Min with tears in his eyes. He could hardly believe anyone was being this nice to him, let alone after he admitted to cheating on his wife. The doctor didn’t notice, or if he did, he didn’t say anything as he moved over to his desk.
Jungkook quickly whipped out his phone, and after a bit of scrolling, found the person he needed to call. All it took was a few rings for him to answer.
“Hyung…” Jungkook was groggy and hoarse from all the crying. Just the thought of sleep alone was enough to wear him down even more.
“Jungkook? Where are you?” Jimin’s concerned voice was heard on the other end.
“Doesn’t matter— just… I wanted to tell you to let everyone know who might be looking for me, that I’m going to be a little late today.”
“Late? What about the meeting later?” Jimin exclaimed, a little baffled. Of all the days to be late…
“I’ll be there. If Y/n asks—” There it was, the person he tried not to think about at all.
Jimin noticed the pause. “Jungkook?”
“Uh, if Y/n asks where I am, tell her I’ll be there an hour beforehand so we can do our final preparations.” Seeing you again… he was really not looking forward to seeing you again.
“Jungkook…”
He rubbed his sleepy eyes, but nothing he did made them any easier to keep open. “Yes?”
“What’s going on? Why are you going to be late?” Jimin was concerned. Despite the awkwardness that had settled between the pair, Jimin never once stopped worrying about him.
“I just— I didn’t get much sleep last night.” It wasn’t a lie necessarily, but he definitely wasn’t going to tell him the whole truth. He couldn’t tell Jimin just how awful he had become.
There was silence over the line for a little while. Maybe Jimin was expecting Jungkook to continue and elaborate further, but then realized that was all the information he was going to get out of him.
“I see… sleep well then, and try to get here as soon as you can. Things have been pretty hectic today.” Jimin pointed out.
Jungkook lazily chuckled. “They’re hectic everyday these days.” Q4s were always so busy.
Jimin laughed as well. “Alright, see you later then.”
“Bye, hyung.” And with that, Jungkook clicked off the call.
He didn’t notice, but a warm smile had settled on Yoongi’s face. He didn’t have to know who he called, he could tell they were close.
“You seriously don’t mind me staying here? I’ve been told I snore…” Jungkook’s face flushed at the mention of it. Yuri would sometimes kick him awake if he got too loud.
“Sleep!” Yoongi called out as he started looking through his computer.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jungkook sheepishly take off his shoes before grabbing the blanket draped over the couch. He laid down, and it probably wasn’t even two minutes later that Yoongi knew he’d actually fallen asleep. He lightly chuckled to himself before getting started on the work he set out to do. It wasn’t much, but he did come early just to make sure he got it done so he wouldn’t get home too late.
To be honest, Yoongi hardly noticed Jungkook was even there at all. It just felt like the times he’d be working at home and Heran would be passed out on the couch with their daughter sleeping in her arms. But Jungkook wasn’t lying earlier; he did snore. It wasn’t anything too obnoxious, but occasionally Yoongi was reminded someone was in fact in the room with him. Even then, he hardly noticed— again, it was just like home.
Cute.
Jungkook was truly out cold. Last night was overwhelming. First, the whole situation with you sent him spiraling, and then his quest to make himself feel bad about it proved to be a harder task than it should have been.
No matter what good memory he recounted of him and Yuri last night, the thought of you on his desk was like a massive tidal wave that washed any attempts he made to remember his wife back to sea. In truth, he spent more of the night trying not to give into temptation than the thought of any guilt about his actions. He'd already betrayed Yuri enough; relieving the ache for some reason that was a line he couldn’t cross.
These thoughts created a horrible cycle in his mind of “you just cheated on your wife” to then “but it just felt so good” to “but you know how disappointed Yuri would be if you do that” to “but it felt so fucking good” to “you’re an actual piece of shit, you deserve feeling like this.” It had his head spinning.
He was tired and tried downing a beer so he could quickly pass out and he wouldn’t have to think about it anymore. But then Yuri came home— 5:35am on the dot.
She looked good, so good, even with most of the lights off. Yuri had changed from her off-the-shoulder, black, sweater dress into something more relaxing— a cozy black hoodie and gray sweatpants. Yuri was also carrying the tote she used for short excursions that weren’t overnight, but far enough to come back at a time like this— she had to go to and from Busan today. She must have been so tired, and he’d spent the night cheating on her.
Jungkook had been so out of it. He was drunk, very drunk, and he was so tired, but he just couldn’t fall asleep. Maybe he would have reacted better seeing her, but his whole body felt numb when she noticed he was sitting at the dining table.
This would have been the time for him to get on his knees and beg for her forgiveness, but instead he just continued to sit there.
Yuri hurriedly walked over and despite how much the room was spinning, he could tell by her footsteps she was mad.
“Jungkook, are you drunk?!” She exclaimed, but the words were hazy in his mind. The question was redundant, all the empty beer bottles on the table would have given her the answer.
“Yuri… I’msorry.” His words slurred. He bet he looked pathetic. He hasn’t gotten drunk in front of her that often. He never wanted her to see that side of him, or rather, how that other side might act if she did.
The silence lingered in the apartment for a little and maybe if the lights were on, she would have seen his lip quivering before she heard his sobs.
“I’m sorry.” His sad attempt at an apology rang in the air. “I’m so sorry, so sorry, sorry. I’m—”
“What is wrong with you?” She honestly sounded baffled. Through the haziness of it all, he recognized that she likely had no idea what he was talking about.
There were so many things he could be apologizing for, yesterday morning was a great example. Maybe that’s what she thought he was talking about. Or maybe it was the fact that he was drunk. There were just so many things, but cheating on her probably wasn’t where her immediate train of thought went.
“I’m sorry!” He just sobbed out, an apology not for cheating on her necessarily, but because he couldn’t find it in himself to feel bad about it.
Yuri had no idea what was going on, and it was so late. “Get yourself together, please. It’s too late for this and I’m too tired to try and understand you. I’m going to bed and you better figure this out before joining me.” Yuri just sighed, slinging her bag over her shoulder once again before walking off toward their bedroom. The fact she even offered to share the bed was astonishing. He deserved less than the couch at this point.
With Yuri here, it made it all too real how badly he had betrayed her. They were meant to be playing the part of a happily married couple, they were meant to be a happily married couple, but he let his own selfish desires get in the way and now that dream was shattered. Why couldn’t he have just waited? All he ever wanted was to be a good husband to her and yet he couldn’t even bring himself to feel bad about the night he shared with you. He’d cheated and still couldn’t stop thinking with his dick for more than two seconds, instead overwhelmed by the way his whole body hadn’t stopped tingling since he helped you off his desk. He never deserved forgiveness. Horrible. He couldn’t go any lower than this.
He was too drunk to remember when the shaking began, or when it got hard to breathe, but he knew he had to listen to your advice. He needed to talk to someone, now.
Jungkook had looked up when Dr. Min’s office opened, and he was at the door shortly after the secretary got there. She had given him those same sad eyes she did before he left the last time when she saw him stumble into the office.
“Dr. Min will be here shortly…” she had assured him. She could probably see how on edge he was.
To be honest, the whole night was a blur at this point. One minute he was at the dining table, the next he was calling Dae-Jung (who was kind enough to pick him up, despite the early hour and how his words slurred together on the phone), then he was in Dr. Min’s office. It felt like time was passing by without him.
Jungkook never checked the time to know when he fell asleep, but when he felt the gentle touch of Dr. Min letting him know it was time to get up, he knew he hadn’t slept long enough. Just opening his eyes was a task that seemed too much to overcome. He needed eight hours, probably more at this point. He honestly felt worse after waking up than he did before he fell asleep. He hoped it was just the grogginess needing to wear off, but the sounds of amusement from the doctor he eventually realized was sitting on the table right in front of him, were not the best received.
“You might want to fix your hair.” Yoongi chuckled lightly, seeing the long strands sticking up in different directions.
Cute.
His head hurt, his eyes hurt, and he wanted to go back to sleep so badly.
It certainly looked that way from Yoongi’s perspective as well. Jungkook had this grumpy look on his face as he steadily tried to sit up, and his eyes just barely fluttered open so he could see they were slightly red.
“Do you feel better?” Yoongi asked, and Jungkook quickly shook his head.
“I’m not surprised. You really need to get more sleep… If you can, you should take the rest of the day off after your meeting. Give yourself the day to try and get yourself back together.” He suggested. “Doctor’s orders.”
The thought was tempting. The main task he had to complete today was the meeting. Everything else, as far as he knew, could be handled later. But he already hadn’t shown up to work this morning, what would everyone think? What might they be saying right now? Just the thought of anyone thinking he was slacking off made the idea seem selfish.
Jungkook didn’t say anything though, as he tried to muster up any energy he had regained to get up from the couch.
“Oh, and before I forget—” Suddenly Jungkook felt a small piece of paper in his hand. It took a minute for him to realize what it was, but it was similar to the one Yoongi gave him after his last session.
“Please make sure to visit him this time. I may be a therapist as well, but I think he’d be much better to talk to about your individual needs.” Yoongi was almost pleading.
Kim Namjoon. Right, he forgot to do that last time.
“Talk to him please, but if you ever need someone else to just chat with unofficially, you can stop by the office at any time or call me if you need to. You have my work phone, but at the bottom of the note I wrote my personal number.” If Jungkook was a patient, this probably would have been crossing a line, but he hasn’t been an official client since his last session back in April.
This was all unofficial, and it would continue to stay that way until things improved enough that alarm bells wouldn’t go off anytime he saw Jungkook. For some reason, he doubted that would happen anytime soon, at least as long as he was with Yuri.
Yoongi made Jungkook agree to book an appointment soon, and said he’d check up with Namjoon to make sure he fulfilled his promise. They also promised to talk again soon as Jungkook started fixing himself up before heading out.
He was still slightly hungover, but the water he drank earlier helped ease things a little, so the headache wasn’t as bad as what it could be considering how much he imbibed last night.
It wasn’t long before Jungkook was getting a text from his driver that he was outside. 11:43am— an hour and twenty until the meeting and less than twenty minutes till he promised to meet you. He had to hurry and pray the traffic wasn’t bad, he still had to head home to shower and change….
With a swift goodbye, Jungkook was slinging his suit jacket and coat on before heading downstairs.
•────•──────────•────•
The meeting went okay. It was mainly thanks to you though. You were a great presenter, and things all went relatively how you both had planned. But Jungkook could have done better— he hadn’t even needed to talk much, but maybe it was the lack of sleep, or the hangover, or the massive wall of anxiety he practically slammed into that made things so difficult.
Jungkook had given presentations before, many times actually, and while he was always a little nervous, most of it would go away the minute he got up there and he was able to say what he needed to say to get his point across. For some reason, his anxiety was almost crippling this time.
Jungkook had hardly thought about the presentation. So much shit had been happening it had almost been an afterthought. But while he was practicing with you, he was not prepared for the jitters he got as time drew nearer for the executives to come in.
It was even worse when it was actually time. He stood up there with you and he couldn’t stop shaking. The eyes of the executives were too much. It felt like that nightmare all over again. It was like they knew what he did, how terrible and incapable he was, and how he deserved how shitty his life had turned out.
Somehow he was able to cover all the points he needed to, but the shakiness in his voice was embarrassing, and he nearly had a breakdown when he saw their confused expressions staring back at him. He felt bad, so bad actually, because he was ruining this for you.
And you… Jungkook didn’t know what to do seeing you again. As soon as he walked into the meeting room, he was filled with disgust, but also wanted nothing more than to pull you close once more. It was horrible.
You looked so good too, you always did. Your light blue turtleneck was neatly tucked into your white skirt, your signature lipstick was back on display, and your hair was styled nicely as it always was. You were so polished, a completely different look to how he dropped you off last night. And you looked amazing either way in his opinion.
But things were awkward, very awkward as you started your preparations. And to make matters worse, you were mad at him, or at the very least it was obvious you didn’t want to be around him when he finally made it to the meeting room. He saw it for a split second after he walked through the door and you made eye contact. It was a silent moment when you both acknowledged the night before, a moment you both realized that last night had in fact happened— but you were far quicker to move on from it, choosing to stick to the promise made to put the whole thing behind you.
Last night was a mistake, a fluke. It shouldn’t have happened.
The doctor was right that things would be different if feelings were involved, but last night was nothing more than sex. He was horny, sad, and you just happened to be there…. If you both acknowledged it then it would become something, something more than it needed to be. He was married, you were his coworker, and that’s how it needed to stay.
But still, for a moment he wanted to say something. He wanted it to be something, because as much as he knew he needed to try and push past this, last night was still on his mind. Dr. Min didn’t help either. He thought he would give him the slap in the face he needed, but his words stuck to him.
What he wanted? Why did it matter what he wanted? He was the one who needed to fix this, he was the one who messed up. But for some reason anytime he thought about it you would pop into his head. You had been just a taste of the things he hadn’t discovered, and like a veil finally being lifted from his eyes, he could finally see how immense the world he lived in was. But you were forbidden, a fruit he couldn’t have, one he shouldn’t want. All he had was a taste and he wanted more. He wanted you in all the ways possible and to explore a side of himself he didn’t know existed until he was with you that night. The only experience he had was with Yuri, and he barely explored his sexuality outside of his relationship— Yuri making up 95% of his sexual experience and 100% of his relationship experience. He knew he was an amateur going into his marriage, but he never knew sex could feel that good.
He wanted Yuri, he wanted his wife, he wanted to be her husband, but as much as he kept telling himself that, the doctor’s words were back in his head once again and that side he was ashamed of would come out. He wanted you, and it was worse this time— instead of his imagination fueling his fantasy, he had an actual memory to look back on. The more he thought about it, the more the doctor’s words rang in his head.
Would the best thing for his and Yuri’s relationship really be a break from each other? How did that make sense at all? How would he ever fix the mess he made if he wasn’t with her? And then to tell her about the affair? That was just a straight ticket to divorce and failure. The amount of people that would be let down if they knew what he did… it just didn’t make sense.
He had to fix this. He had to fix this. Failure wasn’t an option.
•────•──────────•────•
The next few days weren’t any better. Somehow, it got worse.
He thought things would be awkward for a little while, but eventually you both would fall back into your routine. He thought the memory of that night would fade, and you would just become his coworker again. That mistake, that fluke, it would be like it never happened.
But it did, and he couldn’t forget it. It seemed to be the only thing he could think about these days: your lips, your hands, your body, how it felt to have you right there on his desk.
It should have been a mistake, it should have been a fluke, Jungkook should have been trying his very hardest to push that night out of his mind, to pretend that it didn’t happen, but…
Sometimes he’d think about it too much. His mind betrayed him first and then his body would follow soon after. It seemed to happen every time he was alone. In the shower, in his office, in the gym, there was even this one time you assisted some of the managers with a presentation and he nearly lost his mind trying to keep it together. He completely forgot how to act like a normal person around you. Anytime you were in the same vicinity, the awkward conversations you used to share had downgraded to just standing there and staring at you like an idiot. He didn’t know what to say around you, how to make things go back to the small, awkward, yet friendly conversations you both would share whenever you saw each other in these last few weeks since you’d been promoted.
He was a mess, and his mind and thoughts were muddled by a growing need that just got worse as the days passed. Each time he’d plead for his body to listen to him, to forget about that night so he could focus on Yuri again. There were too many times he had to fight every force of nature to stop himself from giving in. Tears would stream down his face as he thought about you, Yuri, and tried his best not to reach down his pants and fix it.
He never thought it could get any worse than what he went through during those ten months of torture, but in just a matter of days you had him more needy than he knew what to do with.
Yesterday, two days after he had you on his desk, he tried to get Yuri to help him, but he should have known better. Jungkook had been in the shower with tears in his eyes as he looked down and saw what thinking about you did to him. He was trying so hard to be good for Yuri. He’d already betrayed her once, and he didn’t want to do it again, but it hurt so much.
In desperation, he quickly got out of the shower and went to Yuri who was lying peacefully on their bed, scrolling through her phone. Jungkook had tried to be subtle as he got in beside her, his hair was still damp and all. He scooted close and wrapped his arms around her waist. As soon as he was close enough she could feel it, he knew she could. Tears immediately welled up in his eyes all over again when he noticed her confusion before her realization of what was happening. This wasn’t as innocent as pulling her close because he wanted to cuddle, no, his perverse intentions couldn’t have been more clear.
He felt like a monster.
“Jungk—”
“Help— help me— please…” He quietly sobbed into her shoulder. His hips felt like they had a mind of their own, and he started grinding into the flimsy fabric of her shorts.
It was a desperate plea so he could forget about you and finally move on. He wanted Yuri to make him remember that she was his wife, he was her husband, and you were nothing more than his coworker. He would have taken anything, really. He would have done anything to make him forget.
For a moment, she didn’t say anything, she let him have his fun. He was such a mess— his hand slowly ran under her tank top feeling her warm skin while he practically fucked her with their clothes still on. As more time passed, the more he lost himself in the pleasure. He didn’t need long at all; he just wanted it to stop hurting… anything to stop hurting.
His breathy sighs of pleasure filled the room in between the sound of the sheets shifting underneath him. There was a moment he thought Yuri would let him have this, after all, she still thought that it’d been ten months since he’d had the sweet bliss of release. But of course, he was too greedy.
“Yuri…” He sighed in hopes that would be enough to engage her, because even now he was picturing you on his desk. His hand came up to tug lightly on the waistband of her shorts. Two minutes tops and he could forget it all, get his priorities straight, and you were nothing to him again.
“Jungkook, stop! What the fuck are you doing?!” Yuri finally snapped as she turned around to face him. But even then, he still didn’t stop entirely. It was just enough to get him to slow down.
“Please— please— Yuri!” He cried because it hurt so much, and you just wouldn’t leave him alone.
Yuri was quick at gaining the upper hand, and she was on top of him just like that day. She had his hands pinned down and was sitting right where he needed her.
“What is going on with you these days?!” She was disappointed, and he was too. She was right; what had gotten into him? Jungkook just sobbed because it still hurt.
“Help…” He begged like it meant anything. Maybe if he had told her right then and there about the affair she would have assisted. Maybe, or maybe not, but maybe that was what it would take for him to focus on her again. But just like the day this whole mess started, she seemed completely uninterested in helping him.
“No.” She didn’t beat around the bush whatsoever, and maybe on a different occasion, he would have appreciated the honesty instead of leading him on to the point he was a whimpering mess underneath her. It just hurt too much.
Jungkook slightly shifted his hips— it was just enough to elicit a breathy moan from his lips and for the shame he felt all over to wash away in a second.
Yuri looked down at him questionably, he normally wasn’t like this at all.
“If you won’t help, then can I at least— can I fix this myself?” Jungkook looked up at her with pleading eyes.
“Wha—”
“You’re probably tired. You’ve been really busy these days, and I’m sorry I bothered you, but—” Tears slipped down his cheeks as he subtly tried grinding into her a little harder. “I can’t wait. It hurts so much, Yuri— please can I fix this myself…” Jungkook never thought he’d reach this type of low.
First the affair, and now he was begging just because he couldn’t keep himself together long enough to wait until she needed him too. He couldn’t even imagine the disappointment she must be experiencing. Her eyes said as much before she even spoke.
“You can’t keep it together?” Her tone was low, and though Jungkook could sense she was mad, to his messed-up brain it was just more fuel to the fire of desire that was raging out of control at this point. It was hot.
He hurriedly shook his head.
“I feel like I might lose it just from you sitting on my lap.” He cried, tears streaming down his face because that wasn’t an exaggeration at all. He felt so bad. Why was he so pathetic? But at the same time, why couldn’t she see his desperation? He just wanted the chance to be with his wife, the person he should be with instead of his coworker in the middle of the night, at his job, right on the desk he worked on.
Suddenly, Yuri chuckled as she looked down at him. She leaned down so her lips hovered over his cheek. He wished she didn’t have his hands pinned down so he could have tried to push her to meet his lips, but she kept moving up so her mouth was right by his ear.
This angle… Jungkook wished she was wearing one of those tank tops today. The view would have been amazing.
“You really can’t keep it together, huh?” Yuri said again, right into his ear, and he very well could have lost it right then and there.
“No…” He sobbed.
Yuri pulled back slightly so she could look him in the eye.
“I don’t know what’s going on with you Jungkook, or whatever has gotten into that thick skull of yours, but I’m going to need whatever it is out immediately. You operate on my time, you wait until I’m ready. The fact that you can’t do that is just pathetic. I don’t care if it’s been months, I don’t understand how you think begging will do anything— a good fucking husband would know how to wait.” Every syllable was filled with the disappointment and malice he knew he deserved.
His heart wrenched at every word.
“I just— I just didn’t want to make a mistake— I’m sorry.” Jungkook was bawling at this point, his voice shaking uncontrollably. His face was probably red and soaking wet from how much he was crying. But he was lying right through his teeth. He’d already made a mistake, a horrible, terrible one. She had every right to never forgive him if she ever found out. It had only been a few days since he had you on his desk, and even after he had gone to such lengths to quell the ache of the last ten months, in just two days, he was in an even worse state than before.
“A mistake?” She laughed.
“You’re the mistake— agreeing to get married to you was the mistake. I don’t ask much from you, yet you just keep disappointing me. I don’t even know why I still try to do this.” Her grip on his wrists had tightened so much it was starting to hurt. With the look in her eyes, Jungkook felt numb at this point. He wanted to apologize, but he couldn’t speak. Even if he could utter an apology, it would never be enough for the pain he’s caused her. Every word was true. Yuri was always right.
“But nevertheless, here I am. I don’t want to fight with you today Jungkook. All I ask is that you’ll wait, and until then…” Yuri’s hand let go of his wrist and started tracing from his jaw, down to his neck, over the expanse of his sweater, and eventually settled on the waistband of his shorts. She roughly pulled it before letting go, the pain of the elastic slapping back to his burning skin made an uncontrollable moan leave his lips before he could stop it. His head was spinning, he couldn’t keep up with what was happening anymore, and it was almost overwhelming.
“Stay away from me.” Her voice had grown soft, sultry almost, as she stared at him.
Jungkook felt almost crazed as the tears kept spilling from his eyes, her words loudly echoing through his head, but he was still hard, and he didn’t know what hurt more at this point. He was shaking and had the intense urge to run away and hide from the world, but he wanted nothing more than for Yuri to touch him more. It was selfish and disgusting, he just couldn’t get any worse.
With a hand now free, Jungkook suddenly found the strength to change the position. But before he realized what he was doing, Yuri was underneath him.
“Don’t do that, please.” Jungkook sighed, the position making his body instantly react, but his heart hurt too much to even attempt anything again. “I’ll leave you alone, I just want to make you happy— I’ll do anything, I hope you know that, but just… don’t make this hard for me, please.” Jungkook begged through his teary gaze.
“I’m sorry I want you all the time, but when you touch me like that… I’m weak, you said it yourself.” He tried to laugh through the pain, but he was starting to feel shaky again.
“I just want to be a good husband, but I’m bad at this, so… just…” He was starting to get so choked up that it was hard to speak. “Just… just… just…” Jungkook buried himself in her neck so she wouldn’t have to see how pathetic he was right now.
In the moment he missed you and how you comforted him that night; your hands across his back, your gentle touches that made him feel warm all over. He didn’t deserve it— not then, not now… but he still missed it.
“Go easy on me, please.” He couldn’t believe he had the audacity to say this like they haven’t been married for nearly four years. He’d run out of chances at this point. He should know by now what she likes and doesn’t. Even though they hadn’t spent that much time together, Jungkook knew before he walked out of the bathroom that she wouldn’t like this, that she'd get upset, yet he still tried anyway, hoping she might put him out of his misery.
There was no hope for him at this point. How Yuri hadn’t given up on him entirely was astounding.
“Jungkook, get off of me and stop fucking crying, that shit gets annoying after the billionth time.” Yuri groaned, already feeling her neck starting to get soaked.
He really missed you— even though he didn’t deserve it, but you made him feel so good. He wished he was back to that Tuesday, the day he cried in your arms and took you right there on his desk. He missed you so much.
Jungkook quickly got off of Yuri and the bed entirely. He hastily started making his way to the bathroom once again.
“You better stop that before you—” He didn’t slam the door in her face, but Jungkook was in too much of a rush to let her finish.
With the outside world finally shut out, Jungkook turned on the light, and from where he was standing at the door, he could see himself in the mirror. He was a mess, he looked like shit. His face was red and puffy, his face stained with tears that just kept falling from his eyes, and because he wasn’t wearing any underwear, the prominent outline of the very reason he got himself into this situation was embarrassingly obvious.
Jungkook hated what he saw, so he quickly turned the lights back off. In the darkness, all he could picture was you once again. That night, your soft warmth, your sympathetic gaze. Why did you look at him like that? Why didn’t you see what Yuri did? But he didn’t want to think about that right now, how much his heart ached, or how his mind cried out to the void to end the pain because he was just making his wife miserable. No. Instead, the memory of you on his desk was too vivid. He could practically still feel you wrapped around him, your hands on his skin, your lips on his lips, he couldn’t forget it. He didn’t want to.
Tears spilled from his eyes faster than his hand found its way into his shorts. He hesitated for only a second. Yuri was right outside, and this was so wrong. He’d just disappoint her even more than he already has. As shameful as it was, that hesitation only lasted for a second before he hurriedly had his fingers wrapped around his length as he steadily started pumping his needy cock.
“I’m— so sorry!” Jungkook cried out as quietly as he could. Just one big disappointment. But you, your lips, your hands— fuck, your hands. Your fingers through his hair, your nails down his back, your hand around his cock. It never felt like that before. Jungkook didn’t know it could feel like that— sex never felt like that. Not with his first, not with Yuri, but you… you… why couldn’t he stop thinking about you?
Jungkook hurriedly brought his hand over his mouth, the memories of when he used to do this returning all too quickly. He’d always wished Yuri would touch him, but that was selfish. The fact that she was even spending time with him should be enough. Yet you had touched him, and he didn’t even have to ask? You were strange, but as selfish as it might sound, he liked it.
Jungkook let himself slide down the door, the pleasure his hand was bringing made his knees weak. As much as he wanted to deny it, he wanted you again. He wished you were here right now to help ease the ache in both places. Would you, considering everything that had happened?
Jungkook hurriedly tried to shake those thoughts out of his head. No, you were back on his desk in his office. You noticed he was upset and came over to comfort him and make him feel better in any way you could. Your lips were on his, he was kissing you again and—
Fuck.
Jungkook briskly let go to quickly spit in his hand before hastily going back to fisting his length. Faster, he needed to make himself cum as fast as possible. The shakes were getting worse. He felt horrible, a failure, a disappointment, every flick just made him feel so fucking disgusted in himself, but it hurt too much to stop.
You on his desk, how it felt to have your hand wrapped around him, how it felt to be inside you—
There it is.
Jungkook let his mind reminisce in as much detail as he could remember. How it felt to finally be inside you, the sounds you made, how wet, tight, and warm you were— so fucking good. He wanted you again so badly, it should be criminal. He was married and he already messed up once, yet he couldn’t stop thinking about it— you on the desk, your fucking sweet pussy wrapped around his aching length.
Close, he was getting close.
Jungkook brought his other hand up to tightly hold it against his mouth once more. His moans were getting too loud and he feared Yuri would hear. He tried to speed it up even more. All he needed was a little longer.
You, your hands, your lips, your warmth, your bunched-up skirt, your thigh-highs, your panties, your red lipstick smearing across his face. Oh. So close.
And then, at last, the feeling deep down inside growing and growing until he finally spilled inside of you—
…
…
…
Wait… what?
Jungkook’s eyes suddenly shot open, the haunting darkness of the bathroom now an unwelcoming sight. An immediate, deep, visceral sense of panic and dread sunk in as he racked his brain in hopes he was overreacting or misremembering.
Jungkook had tried to push the memories of that night as far away as possible over the last few days, but now that he was thinking about it properly…
That day… you both hadn’t used protection.
It’s not like he walked around with condoms, he had no need, but…
Suddenly the ache that seemed deafening became just a muffled, dull, fuzzy noise in the background as this realization dawned on him.
How? How did he not realize you hadn’t used protection? No matter how needy he was with Yuri, he was always so careful in the rare times they went all the way. How did he fucking forget?!
Jungkook suddenly had the urge to run into a wall and hoped he would never wake up again. This entire week had already turned out to be one horrible nightmare. But as if his life wasn’t shitty enough before, suddenly it took a whole new turn.
The shaking came back and was worse than ever. He was at a point where he was sure he would scream his lungs out, but Yuri would hate the noise. Jungkook felt dazed, the realization was the quickest way to kill the mood, and the fastest he’d ever lost a boner.
After a while, he somehow found the strength to stand up again and open the door to the bedroom. Yuri had turned off the lights here too. The only light coming in was from the few that were turned on in the hallway and Yuri’s phone playing some type of video. It also didn’t take long for him to see that she had fallen asleep.
For a split second, he was sad she wasn’t awake. He needed someone to talk to, even if that involved telling her about the affair. He felt like he was seconds away from losing his mind. He probably already had at this point. How could he fucking forget protection?!
Despite his shakiness, Jungkook went over to Yuri’s side— the right if you were facing the bed— and walked over to turn off her phone.
She had a makeup ASMR video playing. Those always helped her sleep and she said she could learn a few things from them while she was awake. As gently as he could, he also took out her headphones and set them on the nightstand. His hands had been shaking so badly that he could hardly pause the video for her.
But as Jungkook made his way to his side— the left— the weight of his actions became even more unbearable.
Jungkook lifted the covers and got in bed, laying face down on the pillow. The fabric was soaked by his tears in a matter of seconds.
How could things just keep getting worse?
•────•──────────•────•
You knew it would be awkward when you came into work. It was inevitable, considering what things were like the last time you saw each other. However, for your sake and Jungkook’s, you tried your best to ignore what had transpired and move on with your life, but that was easier said than done.
The minute Jungkook dropped you off and you made it back up to your apartment, you were stuck in place as soon as you closed the door behind you. Time felt like it stood still and nothing around you moved, like space itself had stopped in order to greet you with an agonizing silence. It was to taunt you and let the thoughts of what you had just done fester, quickly gnawing away at your sense of self and your very being, leaving you to question the type of person you thought you were for your entire life. You couldn’t move, trying to process everything that happened. This couldn’t be real, right?
This was Jeon Jungkook we’re talking about— the Jeon Jungkook who was the son of the CEO at the company you work at.
You pinched your arm so many times you were sure it was going to bruise in your attempt to wake yourself up. You were probably still fast asleep in your cozy bed, stuck in a dream that just wouldn’t end. Your sexual frustration had somehow managed to manifest into you dreaming about your late night meet-up with your boss ending with you sleeping together. All would be fine in the morning except for the fact you’d have to look him in the eye, knowing what your brain had conjured up the night before. It was embarrassing, but that honestly made more sense than everything being real and this night actually happening.
You were sure you’d wake up at any moment, but your arm started to hurt, and you knew standing here probably wouldn’t do anything. You finally found the strength to move from the entryway and head to your room to start getting ready for bed. You showered, then laid down staring at your ceiling, just waiting for your eyes to shoot open and you’d see it was Tuesday, October 31st, all over again.
Nothing… nothing happened.
While the seconds ticked away, your hope was drowned out as you let your mind reminisce about what had happened earlier. The minute you opened the door, you could just see it on his face. He had looked so sad, a pain behind his eyes that made any sense of composure you maintained in front of him come crumbling down. You felt like you had to fix it. Your heart had nearly pounded out of your chest when you got close, holding your coats and his scarf. You didn’t know what you were thinking, pulling him close the way you did, but then his hands were on your waist, and— You flipped over, feeling your face grow warm.
But that didn’t help whatsoever, because it was like a floodgate had opened, and now you remembered how his lips felt against yours, his hurried hands across your burning skin, and most of all, how his… You spent nearly the entire night tossing and turning, bouncing back and forth between your guilt and shame for somehow getting yourself involved in this situation, to Jungkook and his stupid…
There was a scary part of you that was selfish, one that wished you had invited him upstairs. It had been so long since you’d been in the arms of another human being, that you forgot how much better the experience was. You’d never had sex like that before— it was desperate and emotional in a way you still couldn’t comprehend. The way Jungkook had held onto you, with tears streaming down his face, kept you close. You felt it in the way he kissed you, pleaded for you, the way he touched you. The way he touched you… it had been so long.
Your tossing and turning had stopped at some point, your fight trying to get Jeon Jungkook out of your head had been lost, hard. The ache between your legs returned before you even realized, and no matter what you did, you couldn’t stop imagining the way his body felt against yours, his fingers inside you, or the slick glides of his cock through your wetness.
It was just Jeon Jungkook no matter how hard you tried to close your eyes. You were too tired to fight against your hand traveling down into your shorts, and you nearly cried feeling how wet you were. It was a low moment, the entire night had been a low moment for you, but you let the thoughts fully consume you as your fingers glided between your soaked folds and settled on your clit, rubbing needy circles over the bud that was still a little sensitive from earlier. It was a horrible realization, but that just made your deluded self even more hot. It had been real.
You pictured him, you pictured the night you shared, you pictured the nights you didn’t share where he was just existing in your vicinity. You had no idea this part of you existed, the one where you thought Jeon Jungkook was so hot he could get you this riled up. You had known he was attractive, you had eyes, but the emotions had never let you see him like… that. The soft candle glow that had painted him so prettily, the way his sparkling eyes would look at you, how much you enjoyed the way he looked at you.
“Jungkook…” You whined with seemingly no shame. It was embarrassing, but you had never finished so fast with just your fingers. For a split second, as the bliss washed over you, you found yourself wishing he was here and questioning why of all people he had to be married. But as the high washed over you, all that was left in its wake was the starkness of shame. The guilt you felt as you tried bringing yourself back to earth. You had slept and now masturbated to a married man… Jungkook had a wife, and he was your boss. You thought you were better than this.
Your eyes had filled with tears, and you spent the rest of the night crying your eyes out because what was wrong with you? You might have just ruined a family— your boss’s family, and who knows what might happen to you career-wise if someone were to find out.
You didn’t really sleep that night; you highly doubted you even got an hour before your alarm went off, and you had to get ready. That day was awful. As you expected yesterday, both Solmi and Taehyung didn’t come into work, probably too drunk from their night of fun to realize their alarms even went off. There was some part of you that was glad they weren’t here. You had been debating all night if you should tell your close friends about your night, but their absence was enough to remind you of your words to Jungkook last night.
It was a mistake, a fluke, it shouldn’t have happened, and you wouldn’t tell another soul so you both could easily pretend like nothing occurred that night. And seeing Jeon Jungkook again…
Jimin had told you that Jungkook was going to be coming in late, and you couldn’t help the terror that spread throughout your body picturing why that might be. Your mind had drifted to the image of him on his knees begging his wife for a second chance, or maybe she’d kicked him out of the house, or maybe she was going to come after you for ruining their marriage. It felt like every scenario had run through your head by the time you had made it to the meeting room, waiting on him.
You weren’t prepared at all when you glanced up from your computer at the sound of the door opening, for you to see him again. Your eyes met from across the room, and there was a second, a painful second where your minuscule amount of hope last night had just been a horny delusion that you could simply chastise your brain for making up later, died faster than you would have wanted. You could see it in the way his brows furrowed at you as soon as he met your eyes, that you knew last night had happened.
He looked really good too… He was in a navy suit, missing a tie, instead a few buttons were undone, and his long hair messily fell around his face in a way that made him look ethereal. He looked like he had run his hands through it one too many times, yet somehow it just made him seem even more perfect. You swore you heard the pearly gates calling your name, the church bells sing, and… You wanted to scream. What were you thinking?! Immediately you decided to just try your best to ignore it, pushing him away was your only option in hoping things went back to normal— they needed to go back to normal. He had a wife, you had your career, you had to pretend it never happened.
That’s how it needed to be after all. That day was a mistake; it shouldn’t have happened. The more you pretended it was that way, the easier it would be to move past this, the more you could forget, and the quicker things would go back to normal. But deep down, when you were alone, or you’d see him again— doing that was much harder than it needed to be.
That night would come back to you in a flash. You’d wonder if he was doing okay, was he thinking about the night like you were, or were you just another girl he added to his roster of infidelity? You highly doubted it, just seeing the state he was in you didn’t think this was a normal occurrence, but who knows. There was some part of you that wanted to ask, however you had to keep your distance— at least, that’s what you kept telling yourself. You knew it was a little rude to almost flat-out ignore him like that, but addressing it would create an even bigger issue. So mean, rude, standoffish Y/n it was then.
You could still feel his eyes on you anytime you were near each other. Part of you wanted to say something, but for some reason, you could never find it in yourself to tell him to stop staring. You were still mad. This whole thing made you angry and you knew your friends could sense the tension. Everyone in the office could but they probably didn’t question why. They all still thought you hated him after all.
You did… didn’t… you…? It was confusing then and ten times more confusing now. Still though, you tried to keep to yourself and ignore what happened. You thought you were doing a good job of it until you got an email that Friday.
From Director Jeon Jungkook,
can we talk??
It was informal, nothing about work was mentioned, and it was all too familiar with the Jungkook you had met during your late-night rendezvous… meeting! Yes, you were only there for one reason that night, and it was to get things ready for the budget presentation. Maybe this was his attempt at trying to be more comfortable with you. He did say all the formalities felt weird considering you were the same age. That had to be it!
As much as you wanted to delude yourself, deep down you knew whatever he emailed you for had something to do with that night.
You let him know you’d come over during your lunch break, resisting the urge to tell him you didn’t want to talk about it. But you figured it had to be at least somewhat important for him to reach out. It better be. What part of pretending nothing happened between you two did he not understand?
That’s how you found yourself making your way through the halls to Jeon Jungkook’s office. You tried to be as inconspicuous as you could, turning every corner with ease and looking around anytime you’d hear footsteps behind you. Just being in the same vicinity made you feel like someone would find out what you both did.
Your brain had rationalized that being seen together would surely be the obvious sign to everyone that you fucked your boss a few days ago. It made no sense whatsoever, you knew that, but still, you made sure to be as stealthy as you could on your way over.
You hoped no one saw you, and you were especially grateful when you passed Secretary Yu’s desk and she wasn’t there either. If you could make this quick, no one would realize you were ever here.
Staring at the door, you found your heart beating out of control at the thought of facing him again. You knew you weren’t ready for this, you probably would never be, but it was still so soon after it happened…
It took you a second, but eventually you found the strength to knock before pushing open the door.
You were greeted by a similar sight as last time. His office was almost completely dark. He had kept the lights off and closed the blinds so only a sliver of light was peering into the room through the cracks. You could only make out a vague outline, but as your eyes adjusted to the darkness, you could finally make out Jungkook sitting at his desk. You could see his hands were in his hair, and the more closely you listened, the more you could hear his soft sniffles. Your first instinct was to run over to see what was going on, but you refrained as you steadily made your way over, only narrowly avoiding any furniture in the way.
“Jungkook?” You called out, your heart nearly speeding out of your chest.
“Y/n…?” His voice sounded so strained.
“Yes, it’s me.” You tried to keep your tone flat, but it wavered slightly as you got closer.
With the confirmation it was you, Jungkook reached over to the lamp on his desk and finally turned on the light. You were shocked to see how disheveled he looked once the warm glow of the lamp hit his features. His hair looked like he had run his hands through it way too many times, his eyes were shot, his face was red, and tears stained his cheeks.
Seeing him like this, it was hard to keep up your tough exterior. You quickly made your way over to his desk, keeping a notable distance between you two— standing behind the chairs sitting in front of his desk. You feared what might happen if you got any closer.
“Um, you asked to speak with me.” This is how you’d usually talk whenever he’d call you to his office. Part of you was still holding onto the hope that this was just work related.
You watched as a whole new wave of emotion seemingly hit Jungkook, fresh tears falling from his eyes as his hands returned to his hair.
“I—um— I know we said we weren’t going to talk about that night, but… um—” Jungkook tried his best to be firm about this, but his whole world felt like it was coming down. He couldn’t sleep last night thinking about having this conversation with you, and now that you were here, it all felt too real.
“… I don’t remember using protection that night.” Jungkook was only able to meet your gaze for a second, long enough to see the look of shock on your face.
A whole new wave of guilt washed over him. This was all his fault.
“I know I didn’t have condoms with me, and unless you did and I didn’t realize you put one on, then…” Jungkook looked like he was pleading with you to tell him he forgot, that he was just so out of it he didn’t realize you had put one on some time in between. He had no reason to carry any with him personally. It’s not like he was expecting Yuri to fuck him in a place where he’d need to have them on him at all times— hell, they hardly used the condoms they kept at the apartment. Jungkook had never even managed to make it through a whole box without needing to replace them first because they’d expired.
Still though, they were always so careful whenever they had sex. Jungkook spent the entire night mind-boggled at how he could have been so careless with you. And now, because he couldn’t control himself, there was a chance he might have ruined both of your lives. His own life was already shit, but now he might be bringing you down with him. He already had, but somehow the pit only grew deeper.
You sighed at the question— slightly relieved this was going to be easy to answer.
“Don’t worry.” You remained apathetic, not exactly the emotional breakdown he expected considering the gravity of the situation. All night Jungkook had pictured that the minute he’d tell you, you would scream and curse at him for being so careless. It was almost uncanny how calm you were in comparison. You used the exact same tone whenever you’d talk to him about work, in the office when you had a quick question, or in front of the prying eyes of your nosy coworkers, like it was the most nonchalant thing ever.
While your words were soothing, he couldn’t calm down quite yet.
“I’m on birth control, so as long as you’re clean we should be fine.” It took a minute for your words to register, but an immediate flush came to his cheeks. He completely forgot about birth control or that ever being a possibility of the invisible contraceptive he had prayed all night for. He felt even more embarrassed that he hadn’t considered you had some type of plan that night. Of course, you were smart, you wouldn’t let someone so pathetic ruin your life.
You watched his face, and you were honestly delighted to see a slight look of relief quickly settle over his soft, saddened features. You tried your best to hide it.
“Oh— I’m sorry. Of course you thought about it— good. We should be good then.” His voice was shaky, and while his words said one thing, he still seemed stressed for some reason as his hands were quickly back in his hair.
Again, you had to resist the urge to ask him if he was ok. Distance, you had to keep this boundary up. You needed to get out of here.
“If you’re concerned about the other issue, I’ll make sure to pick up a morning-after pill or something on my way home just to ensure we’re fine,” you added, and he slowly nodded. Honestly, even if he hadn't said yes, you probably would have gone anyway just to be safe. You should have done it sooner, but you completely forgot about that detail while trying to push Tuesday out of your mind.
“It’s up to you…” He mumbled, but he still seemed off. You had to get out of here.
“If that’s all then, I’ll be on my way sir—” You bowed, trying to be as polite as possible, before turning around and heading for the door.
“Wait!” You couldn’t even take two steps before he was calling you back. You visibly tensed up as you slowly turned around. You were greeted with his shiny brown eyes finally meeting your own for the first time since you walked in. Suddenly you felt your knees start getting weak. There was no reason for him to look at you like that.
“Don’t leave… that’s not all I wanted to say…” You could see in the way he looked at you that this was going to be the conversation you feared when you walked in. You resisted the urge to mention that you both agreed not to speak about it, but instead you just crossed your arms, ready to listen.
“I— um… I owe you a major apology…” He stumbled and his hands were back in his hair.
“That night— I don’t know what was wrong with me— it shouldn’t have happened, you were right.” He stopped for a second, and you wondered what he was trying to get at. What more was there to say? It really shouldn’t have happened.
“But…” Jungkook’s voice wavered as he looked up at you. “I’m even more sorry that despite how wrong I know it was I—” he took a deep breath “I can’t stop thinking about that night.” He truly felt bad. Here he was, trying his best to put his mistake behind him, yet all it did was fill his thoughts. Where was the guilt? Why wasn’t he so ashamed that just the thought of you was enough to remind him of what he’d done?
He saw your hard expression falter for a second, but it was back before he even realized. Jungkook felt like he was at his wits end. Everything was crashing down, and he didn’t have much to lose at this point.
“And now all I can think about is…” tears quickly filled his eyes knowing what he was about to say “— how I want to do it again so, so badly… it had never felt that good before.” It was a sad, deep, dark confession that he hated as soon as it came out of his mouth. Admitting it was nice was one thing, but wanting to do it again was another.
Maybe you could excuse that night as a one-time thing— he was a mess, you both had some wine, and shit happened before you both could even realize. It was nonsense, Jungkook didn’t drink nearly enough to say he was acting against his own volition, and it wasn’t a spur-of-the-moment decision either. He had thought about having you against every surface in the office before anything actually happened. He’d wanted you nearly as long as you’d worked here.
Jungkook finally had to look away from you as his words settled in the air.
“Jungkook… you know what continuing, even just acknowledging what happened— you know what that would mean…?” You were honestly baffled and you hated the way your heart nearly beat out of your chest at the mention of it.
“Yes.” It was so quiet, and with the faint glow of his lamp you could see a new wave of tears start running down his cheeks.
“That night— it was all my fault...” His voice was shaky just thinking about it.
“I told you that I’m in an arranged marriage and that things are rough right now… it’s my fault, everything is my fault.” It certainly was.
“Despite the circumstances we got married in, we both agreed to try to make our relationship work, and I’ve just kept messing things up no matter how hard I tried to make her happy.” It’s been nearly four years and he could probably count on one hand the number of times he’d made her smile.
“She hates me, and I don’t blame her at all— I honestly deserve it and more.” He deserved far worse at this point.
“Why would your wife hate you?” You couldn’t help but ask, but you regretted it as soon as it left your mouth. The fact you had somehow found yourself in this situation proved that something wasn’t right. But the question had bounced around in your head for the past few days, wondering what might be splitting the couple to the point Jungkook sought you out for relief.
He looked at you for a split second. “I don’t know how to be a good husband. No matter what I do, I don’t know how to make her happy like I should.” He attested with a level of pain in his voice that you weren’t prepared for.
“Jungkook…” You were speechless… a deep, unsettling, uneasy feeling spread throughout your body as you listened. You had zero insight into the situation, but despite everything, it felt wrong to hear him be so down on himself. It was heartbreaking to listen to.
“I don’t think you deserve to be hated—” You tried to console, but Jungkook stopped you before you could finish.
“No… she deserves a better husband— a different one— someone who can make her happy, and I should just… just disappear— I can’t do anything right.” He tried to laugh but it just came out like a pained sob. It wasn’t funny and he couldn’t even pretend to laugh at that anymore.
“Jungkook—” You called out again, but he stopped you in your tracks.
“I hope you believe me when I say that that night was the first time something like that happened.” His shiny eyes looked up at you again, and you could have broken down right then and there. The pain, you could see it so clearly.
“I despise cheating and the fact that— that— that night happened, I just—” He couldn’t be more disappointed in himself. He’d forever tainted his marriage, just like his parents had done.
Even if Yuri never found out, the fear of her somehow discovering what he did one day… the guilt would kill him. Their anniversary was coming up in a few months— how could he look her in the eyes and relive the moments of their wedding day knowing he betrayed their vows, her trust, knowing that she had every reason to leave him?
Maybe one day he could finally get his shit together and Yuri could love him the way he’d always dreamed, but that would all come crashing down one day when she somehow found out what he did.
Jungkook at least thought he was above that. The one thing he knew he could promise Yuri was that he’d always be by her side, faithfully and earnestly, yet he’d found a way to fuck that up too.
There really was no happy ending for him, was there?
“I’m sorry— it shouldn’t have happened, and I feel horrible bringing you into my mess.”
You wanted to say that you were equally to blame, but Jungkook was faster.
“And— and I just… I’m sorry— we agreed to try and move on from this but I just can’t stop thinking about you and that night and—” It wasn’t even funny how much he thought about you. Right before you walked in, he had the lights off to hide his shame because even in the middle of what he thought was a crisis, all he could think about was you on his desk. And seeing you now standing in front of him…
“I’m sorry…” Jungkook just cried. He really didn’t have the words to describe how he felt right now.
“I spoke to a therapist about it.” Jungkook could instantly see the slight panic on your face at the mention of him telling someone about this. “I took your advice from that night about talking to someone. I really wasn’t in a good place at all, and if I hadn’t, I think I might have gone crazy. He was supposed to help me and Yuri with the issues in our marriage, but he’s helped me with more than just my relationship. Don’t worry. Yuri won’t find out.” Jungkook had full trust that the doctor wouldn’t tell Yuri about the affair. Even though their conversation wasn’t protected by doctor-patient confidentiality, he still knew the doctor wouldn’t say anything. He was expecting that Jungkook was going to tell her on his own time.
You were a little taken aback by the news, but your memory of that night was clear. You knew when you parted ways that he really didn’t seem okay. The fact that it was a therapist he confided in made you relax a little.
“I went to him for a slap on the face, but instead he said— he said I should consider stepping away from Yuri for a little while and take the time to try and figure out what I want in life. But I can’t— I want her, and I want to make our marriage work somehow.” Jungkook was in tears again. He didn’t want to give up on his marriage yet. He couldn’t give up, so many people were counting on him to make this work.
“But I can’t think straight. I’m always so frustrated and you’re always in my head— I know I could be better— it’s not an excuse, I should be better, but—” What was he even saying?
“That night was— it never felt that good before— you were there for me, and despite how much of a mess I was, you—” Why? The question had never run through his head until now, but what could have possibly been your reason for being there with him that night? You were too nice. His thoughts were running a million miles an hour. He honestly couldn’t think clearly anymore.
“And your clothes— I’m sorry about that, I’m so sorry— it had— it had been ten months since I last, you know… but that’s not an excuse. I’m sorry, I should have been better.” He should have been. Imagine how disappointed Yuri would be if she knew.
“Ten months?” This conversation had gone all over the place, but you couldn’t hide your shock at this piece of news. You had just let him rant, not wanting to interrupt to give him the chance to get whatever he needed off his chest, but you just couldn’t hide your reaction.
Ten months was certainly not normal, especially considering he was married and had no kids to take up his free time after work. Suddenly, things started making a little more sense.
“It’s my fault— it’s all my fault— I’m not a good husband, I should have been able to wait longer if I had to— or maybe she would have wanted me sooner if I was better.” If he was better he wouldn’t have been in this situation in the first place.
There were some things that Jungkook said that made your skin crawl. It was possible his whole spiel could be some convoluted way into excusing what happened between you two, but then he said statements like that that would make alarm bells go off in your head. That certainly wasn’t right.
“But I want to be better. I want to make things right, and I just feel like I can’t do that when all I can think about is—” Jungkook didn’t finish, instead letting a pained sigh say everything he couldn’t.
“And I know it’s pathetic, but I wanted your help—” There it was, what’s been on his mind since that night. “Maybe you could tell me what I could do better— how to make her happy, what I’m lacking. And I just can’t stop thinking about you—” He looked up at you with those shiny, round eyes that made it so hard to say no.
And there it was, exactly what you feared when you walked in.
So much was happening, so many emotions thrown at you that you were tempted to take a seat in the chair in front of you to sit down and process it all. You tried your best to remove all emotion from this, to look at this as objectively as you could, but with Jungkook right in front of you and hearing everything he said—
You knew something was wrong from the minute you walked into your first meeting together, but you could have never predicted just how bad things were. You had no idea what went on behind closed doors. Maybe things really might be as bad as Jungkook said, but the hurt, pain, and desperation he spoke with made the wall you tried putting up impossible to keep from crashing down.
It took you back to Mi-Sun once again. You remembered talking to her in class sometimes and how she would spin every inconvenience into her doing. She always emphasized how it was her fault the other girls would tease her as much as they did. You didn’t understand it then, but Jungkook’s admissions almost felt like a repeat of what happened all those years ago, and you knew how that story ended.
“It’s my fault.” She had said so aimlessly as she stared out the window you both sat by.
“How is it your fault?!” You’d questioned, maybe a little too harshly. You couldn’t believe her words, considering you knew she had never done anything wrong. The girls were rude, you had no idea why, but Mi-Sun had been their target since you both made it to high school.
She should have known this, and it just made you angry. “They’re the problem, they have always been the problem. They’re rude just because they can be, and for some reason, no one is doing anything to stop it, and—”
“Y/n, just look at me!” You had turned to your friend, her eyes teary, and you should have seen it sooner. “It’s all my fault.” She softly cried before you pulled her into your arms.
You didn’t see it then, and the way Jungkook spoke now made you feel like you were back in high school, in class, right by the window you both would always sit by as Mi-Sun stared out, the light shining in her eyes growing dimmer as each day passed.
“Jungkook… you know what continuing would mean…” You looked at him worriedly.
You saw the tears run down his cheeks again as he slowly nodded his head.
“If anyone were to find out about that night, we could maybe just say we had too much to drink, it was late, or you could even mention your breakdown. Doing anything more would truly turn this into cheating. We’d have no excuses at that point.” Your eyes were sad as you noticed his expression grow more pained.
“And since you’re still trying to make things work with your wife— I just don’t think that’s the smartest idea. If we leave things where they’re at now, it would give us our best chance of going back to normal and putting the whole thing behind us.”
You could see the consequences coming from a mile away. You knew there would only be trouble going forward. You certainly weren’t a homewrecker by any means. You didn’t want to be the reason things came crashing down.
Jungkook steadily nodded.
“I probably look pathetic right now— I’m sorry, I don’t want you to think I’m forcing you or anything considering—” Jungkook was your boss… or well, technically your boss’s boss, but the dynamic was still a little strange. It was all strange. This whole situation was strange.
But it felt like you were with Mi-Sun all over again. You didn’t see the signs then, but Jungkook was right in front of you. You had the chance to help someone in a way you couldn’t help your friend in high school. What might happen if you just walked away from this now? A repeat? Or maybe something even worse.
“You don’t look pathetic, and I know you’re not forcing me… it’s just… things are going to get really complicated if we decide to do this.”
The vagueness of your statement was intentional— it’s not like you were saying no, because you weren’t. You really didn’t want to get involved in this, but seeing Jungkook so low… You didn’t think he was pathetic, however hearing him rant like this was just painful. Things weren’t right, and finding out your night together made him feel even the slightest bit better made you want to help him in any way you could. You hated seeing the dark cloud storming over him and his sad, tired gaze anytime you’d meet his eyes. It was difficult to watch, and as reckless as it was, you wanted to do anything to take away his pain just like you had wished you could’ve taken Mi-Sun’s pain away.
Jungkook visibly picked up on the fact that you didn’t outright say no, and part of you hated seeing the glimmer of hope in his eyes. This really was a bad idea to even entertain the idea of continuing, but at the same time, it was nice to see his gloom wash away, if only for a second. But that moment only lasted for a second before his expression suddenly changed into something darker, somehow even more disturbed.
“I promise I'll be good.” It was an odd choice of words that immediately caught you off guard.
“I’ll stay in line, I won’t ask for anything in return. I’ll wait until you want me. I promise I’ll be good, I promise.” It was his last-ditch effort to convince you. He was almost pleading with you. You couldn’t help but look at him strangely, wondering what he meant by that.
“I’ll be good— I have to be good— I don’t want to disappoint you either.” Things had truly taken a turn. Jungkook's expression grew more pained by the second, the cloud that hovered around him stormed with a concerning ferocity.
“I’ll be good— I promise— I promise I’ll wait.” Jungkook was slipping off an edge you didn’t see coming. The tears so easily slipped past his eyes, an uneasiness behind his desperate gaze. For some reason, you knew deep down this wasn’t coming from nowhere, especially after hearing his rant earlier…
“What do you mea—” But you couldn’t finish your sentence. The wave had already come crashing down over him, and you saw Jungkook fall to pieces first-hand. Even in the subtle light, you could see he was shaking.
“I’ll wait, I’ll wait if you want me to— as long as you need me to— I’ll be good— I promise!” He looked you in the eye, but for some reason you felt like he was looking right through you.
“I don’t want to disappoint you— I’ll be good— I have to be good— I have to— I’ll wait— I promise I’ll wait!” This had turned into a full-blown meltdown. You could see it in the look in his eyes. Something was on his mind, and it was tearing him apart. As much as you wanted to remain as neutral as possible, you couldn’t just stand there anymore and watch this. You quickly made your way around his desk so you were standing right beside him. His hands were back in his hair and his rambling had nearly turned incoherent.
In the low light you could see his hands trembling, and you quickly had to stop the tears from pouring out at that point. You couldn’t imagine what he must have gone through to make him so upset. If this was all a ruse then he deserved to be in Hollywood, but even suggesting that this might be a trick just felt beyond cruel. He was clearly struggling…
“Jungkook— please— please look at me.” You tried to remain calm, but your voice wavered in the middle.
“I’ll be good!” You could barely make his words out through the sobs.
“Jungkook… please look at me…” You gently tapped him on the shoulder. You were a little calmer this time, and that finally had him turning to face you, breaking him out of his trance.
He was finally looking up at you with his big, round, sad eyes, and your heart nearly broke in two when you saw his lip quiver slightly. He seemed so innocent, yet so broken, and you just wanted to fix him somehow.
You brought your hand up to lightly cup his cheek— they were wet, so, so wet, and as you moved his hair out his face, you could feel the tips had grown damp. Tears steadily continued to pour onto your fingers, but you tried your best to wipe them away. You also didn’t miss the way he practically careened into your warmth.
Such a pretty boy shouldn’t cry like this.
“I’ll wait…” He muttered as he looked at you. This time you knew he was talking to you.
“What do you mean you’ll wait?” You asked gently as you continued to wipe the tears from his eyes.
“As long as you need me to… weeks, months, years. I’ll wait until you want me.” Something about the way he said this, the pain in his voice made it that much more heartbreaking. Weeks were already crazy, but months, years? For some reason, the strain in the way he said this along with what he mentioned earlier, made you think this went deeper than his breakdown.
“I’ll be good, I promise— I’ll wait— I can’t disappoint you too.” He sobbed into your hands. Too? No, this wouldn’t do.
“Jungkook, what do you want?” You asked, looking him directly in the eyes. Your question visibly confused him at first, which just made you feel bold enough to go a step further. You looked toward the door before looking back down at him.
“Are you expecting anyone here any time soon?”
Confusedly, he shook his head. “It’s lunch right now— Secretary Yu went out to get something to eat and I don’t have any appointments.”
At this news, you let go of his pretty face and grabbed the end of your skirt. It was tight, so you pulled it up slightly before taking a seat right on his lap. You paid close attention to the look on his face, and you saw the panic before you felt it. His confusion turned into worry as he looked down at where you were sitting. He knew you could feel it, a surprise you had not expected when you sat down.
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’ll wait, I promise!” He seemed panicked as he looked at you. His hands hovered over your waist, too scared to push anything further. He said he’d wait, but he was hard underneath you.
Jungkook’s thoughts had been filled with you even before you walked in. They always were whenever he was in his office these days, the memories returning so vividly as he’d stare at his desk where it happened.
“I can wait, I promise!” He tried to defend, but his brain was already starting to get fuzzy just from having you on his lap.
“Jungkook, what do you want?” You asked again, wrapping your arms around his neck. He was tense, but you felt him momentarily grab ahold of your waist and pull you a little closer. It would be so easy to kiss him like this.
“I…” His eyes struggled to meet your own. You were so close. He wanted to look and touch everywhere, but he had to think about you.
“I want to be good— I promise I’ll wait—” He had tears in his eyes as he stared down at where your bodies met.
“Mmm…. Is that so?” You looked down and you wondered what he meant about waiting. Clearly he needed something now, you could feel it right underneath you.
Jungkook shakily nodded.
“Until you want me, I’ll wait.” For a second, you ran his proposed arrangement through your head. What kind of affair would that be? Not that you thought about it before, but who’s ever heard of an affair where the guy is at the beck and call of the person he’s cheating with?
It was even more reason to believe he really hadn’t done anything like this before. Something wasn’t right.
“But what do you want?” Again, you asked because you wanted to hear it, but you felt like he needed to say it to himself even more. You could almost see the fear in his eyes as your question lingered. You could feel him shaking underneath you, and you couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking about… or who.
“To be good…” His eyes only met yours for a second before they trailed down your body. His words were saying one thing, but his eyes were telling you another. Maybe you should help him out a little.
When you started getting closer, Jungkook thought you were going to kiss him. Maybe he wished you did, but what you ended up doing was even more unexpected. Your face grazed past his own and suddenly your lips were brushing against his neck.
“Oh…” Jungkook felt his cheeks warm, and his hands were gripping your waist before he could stop them.
You didn’t tease him for long, instead planting gentle, light, feathery kisses along his burning skin. His brain was shot the minute you stepped close, but like this, he was fighting so hard to stop himself from pulling you closer. You felt so good against him, so good, and it was already so hard.
“Y/n…” It came out like a whine and he didn’t mean it to. His eyes were watery, it hurt so much.
“Mhmm” Your voice was soft and—
“Y/n— I’ll wait— I promise, but I’m weak, and please— if you don’t want this… just please go easier on me.” Jungkook finally just cried. This was Yuri all over again. He didn’t want to disappoint you too, not another person. He didn’t need another person to hate him.
“But what about what you want?” You scooted closer, inches away from where he wanted you the most. He thought this would be the moment you’d get off, where you’d tell him to stop crying and scold his very existence. But you didn’t.
Your kisses slowed and you lingered on his skin for longer, lightly sucking spots you somehow discovered were sensitive. Jungkook gripped your hips hard, and he couldn’t stop himself from rutting up into you. It hurt so much, and Jungkook wanted nothing more than to touch you. This was just cruel.
“Y/n…” Jungkook cried, unable to stop the tears from spilling over.
You pulled back enough to see his face. You saw the tears and quickly leaned forward to kiss his cheek. He stared at you wide-eyed, still with that pained look on his face.
“Jungkook, you keep asking what I want, but I want to hear from you. What do you want?” You asked again, softly. You were pressing buttons he didn’t know he had. Why were you being so cruel?
A choked sob left his lips as he held onto your waist tightly. He couldn’t do this, he couldn’t do this.
Like you were sensing his struggle, you leaned in again and started planting languid kisses along his neck. He didn’t have much resilience anyway, paper-thin might even be an exaggeration with the way he was feeling. You were too close and he was too needy, the days of longing making it impossible to think straight, to resist like he knew he should.
“Y/n…” It came out as a moan as you subtly moved your hips against him. This was a warning, a warning that you clearly ignored because your pace grew faster with each glide of your hips. Tears poured harder from his eyes.
“Do you want me to stop?” You asked when he still hadn’t said anything.
Jungkook felt his body react faster than his mind did. His arms came up and tightly wrapped around your frame. The thought of you leaving when he felt like he was seconds away from exploding made him panic.
You were pulled flush against his chest before you could even realize.
“I want you so bad— it hurts so much— please don’t leave me.” He sounded exasperated. He was shaking around you as you could feel the tears running down his face and hitting your cheek.
Shame washed over him as his words settled in the air. He was begging. How sad and pathetic he must have looked. He was all too sure that he’d already ruined things with you.
You seemed to sense he was spiraling, so you were quick to press gentle kisses up his neck, across his jawline, and steadily made your way across his cheek to settle right beside his quivering lips.
His sniffling grew quieter as you worked. Instead, soft moans that he was trying to hold back grew stifled and needier. When you made it to his lips, there was a moment of hesitation. But it was truly only for a moment as Jungkook didn’t allow for anymore, finally closing the distance between you.
It happened so fast, you both nearly bumped heads at the speed he moved, and you weren’t prepared for how vigorous his kiss was. Jungkook kissed you like his life depended on it, and in some sense, you feared it really did.
You were quick getting into it though, matching his rhythm until your lips were moving together in sync. It just felt so right.
That same warmth Jungkook felt deep down in his chest on that fateful night was back with an overwhelming force. He could have cried— scratch that, he was crying, but for an entirely different reason.
Your lips were so soft, and with your arms wrapped around him… for a second, all the pain washed away. There was no one else in the world, no worries, it was just you and him together, alone in his office. This felt right in every way possible, and he couldn’t get you close enough.
The kiss was wet, hot, and you were so needy your body felt like it might burst into flames within a split second. It was destructive and consumed you both so quickly that you had no chance of coming to your senses. This was a bad idea, but you’d think about that later. Instead, you eagerly ground down onto him, making him softly moan into your lips.
His hands rested on your waist, and you could feel his fleeting attempts to touch you more, but it was like something was holding him back. You pulled away and he really was too pretty, your lipstick was all over his face, his lips shiny and stained red.
“Do you want this?” He suddenly asked, out of breath. For a second his question didn’t even register, because what?
“I don’t… I don’t want you to think I’m forcing you into this. I’ll wait, you could even walk away entirely if you aren’t comfortable doing this.” He spoke with round, sad eyes like he really was concerned. But you could still feel him throbbing underneath you. How he was this hard over a little teasing… you honestly worried for his pants at how well you could feel his aching length.
“Jungkook…” You sighed, lifting your hand to move his messy bangs away from his eyes. You could see his face a little better and it hurt seeing how red it was, stained with tears, and a sad look behind his dark gaze.
You leaned forward, pressing a light kiss to his cheek before moving your lips right by his ear.
“Would I be in your lap otherwise?” So soft and sultry in his ear. And he moaned, not holding back at all, completely forgetting you both were still in a public setting. He could have cum just from that alone. But he didn’t care, he was seconds away from losing his mind if something didn’t happen soon.
And then you were back to peppering kisses along his neck, this time going full force at sucking at the skin.
“Ahhh! Y/n— please!” He hissed, letting the tears fall from his eyes. He was going to explode, he was going to explode, please, please just touch him.
Jungkook didn’t wait for you to progress things further. He couldn’t find it in himself to be patient. Instead, his hands quickly moved down your waist, the arch of your back, and settled onto the curve of your ass, groping and feeling with a hurried need.
The motion made you gasp, easily allowing him to slip his tongue inside. It was completely unexpected, especially considering how timid he’d been acting so far, you definitely weren’t prepared. He was the one in control now. It was his tongue that was exploring every inch of your mouth fervently. It was hot and heavy, with a desperation you hadn’t felt since you were a teenager. Your hands cupped his cheeks before tightly tangling in his hair, somehow trying to pull him closer. It was this antsy, erupting feeling. You both hidden away from the world while you tried your best to contain yourselves in a public setting. You could feel his excitement through his suit pants which he tried to hide while pulling you closer at the same time.
“Oh fuck.” He softly moaned into the kiss as your hands found their rightful place in his long, dark hair. You pulled and tugged on the strands, enjoying the soft whines of pleasure Jungkook let out underneath you.
It was happening so fast, yet not fast enough. Any time you attempted to pull away, he held you closer in his arms. It was hard to keep up, but you weren’t prepared for the heat to consume you so quickly, you felt like you were doused in gasoline. It was insane, and you wanted so much more with each brush of his lips against yours.
You were so in the moment that you weren’t prepared for his hands to go lower, slipping under your skirt to hastily pull it up around your waist. For a moment, it didn’t even register until you began to feel the cold breeze against the newly exposed skin. It was at this that you finally pulled away.
For a brief moment, Jungkook tried to stop you, but then you felt the building confidence quickly leave his body as he realized something was wrong. He stared up at you, the shininess in his eyes returning all too quickly.
“I—I’m sorry…” His voice was shaking.
“Don’t apologize—”
“I’ll wait, I’m sorry. I’m rushing things, I’m sorry…” It’s like he wasn’t listening all over again as he shakily tried to pull your skirt back down.
It was then that you realized how this might have looked.
“It’s not that— it’s just… I know it’s a little hard to forget, but we’re in public… in your office.” You pointed out, and you saw Jungkook’s face grow red as he looked around. It seemed like he really did forget where you were.
“I’m sorry—” He cried, letting go of you entirely.
“No— we don’t need to stop. Going all the way might not be the best idea, especially in a room without a lock, but I was thinking we could do something a little quicker.” You smiled gently at him. Jungkook was visibly confused at this, so you took this as your cue to slip off his lap and onto your knees right in front of him.
“Will this work for you?” You smiled up at him mischievously, hoping he got the picture. But for some reason he still was staring down at you with those round eyes that made him look so innocent and… confused?
“What are you doing?” His voice was so small. Your hand was resting on his lap, so close to where he wanted you, and just— why did you have to get off of him?
It was your turn to be confused.
“You know…” You lightly laughed, thinking this might be some type of joke, but Jungkook still maintained the same perplexed gaze. It was then that your face dropped. Suddenly the possibility of him actually being confused ran through your head.
“You do know what a blowjob is, right?” You were a bit blunt, but honestly you were expecting him to laugh at you. A funny joke in the heat of the moment to make you smile, but instead of the giggle you were expecting, you suddenly watched him get flustered.
“Right…?” You asked again, growing weary.
“Uh— I do— did? I didn’t think they were a real thing people actually do…” His voice just grew smaller as he looked down at you. He quickly got the picture that wasn’t normal.
You immediately had so many questions. You were the same age, yet….? How, how did this happen? Did someone tell him that? No guy would ever think that without some type of influence. That also meant he probably wasn’t the most experienced, as far as partners go, because you highly doubt people came into his life and never once tried sucking his dick or at least offered. The other day Jungkook did mention he’s only been with his wife, and an uneasy shudder ran through your body as you mentally started connecting the dots.
“Um— Jungkook, if you’re not comfortable, we could—”
“No, please! Please don’t stop— I… please…” He cried, grabbing onto your hand that was sitting in his lap, but immediately he was horrified in himself, realizing he was begging again. Yuri always hated that so much.
“I mean— I mean…” His eyes grew watery. “It just hurts so much…” Jungkook wanted to fuck you on top of his desk again, he was only a moment away from picking you up and doing just that.
“If you’re comfortable, I won’t stop.” You gave him a warm smile, careful not to frighten or overwhelm him, along with a gentle, reassuring squeeze to his thigh to keep him relatively calm.
Jungkook subtly, but not so subtly, tried to move himself closer to your hand. He was hardly paying attention, his mind completely enthralled with needing some type of relief. He’d take anything at this point.
“Jungkook?” You questioned when he still hadn’t responded.
“P-Please…!” He stammered out, seeing how close your hand was. Just a little closer and he could…
You looked down and noticed his efforts, making you chuckle. “Alright then, I’ll be quick. Just let me know when you’re close.”
Again, he wasn’t paying as much attention as he should, but suddenly his eyes went wide as you lightly began running your hands up his thighs. Jungkook moaned at the touch as you ran over the very obvious outline in his slacks. Anything at this point felt so intense. He just needed more.
You were quick to give him just that. As you reached up to start undoing his belt, he finally had to look away, knowing what was coming next.
You went a little slow, not to just tease him, but to give him a chance to turn back if he got uncomfortable at any moment. You were too fascinated by how tiny his waist looked to notice his growing panic.
Jungkook wanted to scream when you started to unzip his pants— he wanted more, but he was terrified. As he felt you pull him out from his underwear, his eyes grew watery, not needing to look down to feel your gaze. You were staring at him.
Things were different from the last time. While he had the blinds closed and the lights were low, he knew there was still more than enough light to see him. A wave of anxiety washed over him faster than a tsunami, the dread of your judgment completely taking him out of the moment. He’d only been with two people before. The fear of it not looking right or not being up to your standards was still very real and alive. Maybe that was the reason Yuri didn’t want him, and you have probably experienced so much better— you deserve so much better than anything he could give you—
His thoughts were spiraling, but you were quick to step in once again, noticing he’d grown tense underneath you.
You directed your attention to his length that you had firmly grasped in your hand. You marveled at being able to see it in its full glory unlike last time. It was pretty and practically had you drooling, leaving you more than excited to see how it feels in your mouth. It was firm in your grasp and it curved slightly towards the flaming red tip, and you had to stop yourself from moaning at the delicious vein running along the side.
You stared, maybe for too long, at the way it bopped at the slightest movements and gently started leaking precum onto your hand, steadily dripping to create a small puddle that ran down your skin. Staring wasn’t the right thing to do considering how self-conscious he seemed ,and it took you way too long to look up and see his attention on the ceiling with wet streaks running down his cheeks.
“You’re so pretty, don’t you know that?” You smiled as you slowly started to pump his length. The action was enough to make Jungkook look down at you, moaning at your words, and fuck— The sight was enough to send him to a new dimension and back. You had moved closer so your face was right by where he needed you, and you were touching him so well—
“Y/n…” It was a hushed sob. Any louder and he was scared he’d scream. His tears were now streaming for an entirely different reason. It was quick and all these emotions were swirling around in his head. It was too much and he wanted you to stop it.
Your strokes were slow, but it really didn’t take much. It had been too long, too much running away and edging; he just wanted relief.
“Y/n—” He cried again, this time more desperate. He was shaking.
You put him out of his misery only slightly as you used your thumb to rub over the slit and marveled at the way more precum continued to leak over your finger with each swipe.
“Oh— fuck.” He whined, shifting around so you’d touch him more. His hands were balled into tight fists as he watched you, knuckles turning white in the process. Part of him wanted to look away in shame, but you commanded his attention in a way that he couldn’t turn anywhere else.
You met his shameful gaze as you looked up at him with glistening eyes, and Jungkook hated how much he wanted to ruin you all over again. Leave you a mess so his colleagues could see how horrible he was.
Jungkook was on edge and you had barely touched him. You could tell he was growing antsy, so you finally moved so that you were mere centimeters away from his pleading cock. The sight alone could have made him cum. You, staring up at him with eager, excited eyes, and as he looked down at you, a guttural sound escaped his lips before he could catch it.
There was only a moment of hesitation, a moment that dragged on for eternity. With your gaze, you were waiting to see if he had any doubts about continuing, but Jungkook held on with bated breath, giving no signs of wanting to stop.
He was a little confused… no, that wasn’t right… anxious? He hardly had a clue what to expect. He knew what a blowjob was… kinda? He knew what they were from videos he saw when he was younger, but everyone always talked about how exaggerated they were. He had no idea what a real blow job was like and what to expect. How long had it been since the thought even crossed his mind? He couldn’t remember anymore.
Jungkook was in his head again, but the very sudden feeling of your tongue quickly swiping across the tip briskly jolted him back into the moment, making him nearly jump out of his chair.
Oh.
He didn’t even realize he had said it out loud, and at a volume that was far too loud, until the soft sounds of your chuckles got his attention.
“Can’t be too loud~” You smiled, and Jungkook felt his whole body set ablaze with an inferno he wasn’t prepared for in the slightest.
“Just let me know when you’re close—” you reminded him once again. He wondered if you could tell he wouldn’t last long. You would be right. “Sit back, relax. I’ll take care of you.” You smiled.
Jungkook had to take a moment to stare at you. Your eyes shone from his desk lamp, your lipstick had already started to smear across your lips from your heated activities earlier, and your hair grew more disheveled by the second. Your invitation to relax and let you essentially take care of him made shivers run up his spine, and he couldn’t nod for you to continue any faster.
He listened to your advice and finally leaned back in his office chair, waiting for you to have your way with him. The moment he got more comfortable, you were back on him, his cock in hand as you leaned in once again to give a teasing lick to the tip.
Ohhhhhh—
He didn’t mean to, but you were teasing him too much. You probably thought it was pathetic how he practically chased after your mouth when you pulled away. It wasn’t long before you were back though, slowly swirling your tongue around the tip, tasting the salty precum that continued to leak with each swipe of your tongue, while looking intently at his antsy reactions.
“Ahhhh! Please—” Jungkook had tears in his eyes as he pleaded for you. He felt like he was going to lose his mind. This, fuck— this—
He probably had imprints on his hands from his nails at how tightly he had balled up his fists. Jungkook looked down at you, not wanting to rush you or beg, but he felt like he was at his limit.
Finally, you put him out of his misery. It came unexpectedly. Your gentle licks turned into you engulfing the tip with your mouth. You were slow. You didn’t want to overwhelm him considering this was meant to be his first time.
“Oh, fu—” Jungkook quickly covered his mouth. His fist tightened to the point he could feel his nails digging into his skin. His tears finally spilled as the overwhelming pleasure washed over him as you tried to take more of him down. It was new, a euphoria he had never experienced before, seeing you on your knees pleasing him, taking him so well… it was too sinful to be allowed. And you just kept going, further and further down and—
“Wai—oh my go—” Jungkook tried to whisper, but he was way too loud. He was going to cum. It was like he was suddenly pushed to the edge. He knew he was close, but not that close.
“Oh—” He moaned. Your mouth was so warm, wet, and inviting. It reminded him too much of the fleeting memory of what it felt like to be inside you. Jungkook quickly had to shut his eyes, focusing all his concentration on not having this end so soon after you just started. The embarrassment— he couldn’t do that to you. But—
“Fuck!”
You went as far as you could before steadily easing back and popping off him to see how he took it. You knew he had been shaking, but you weren’t prepared for his look of distress.
“You ok?” You lightly chuckle, caressing his thigh— and, woah, were you in for a surprise feeling how firm they were. How much did this boy work out?
You watched as tears slipped from his eyes. “Umm-mm-m,” his voice was shaky as he finally opened his eyes to look at you.
“Can— can you go slow? I won’t make it two seconds otherwise…” He was quiet and sounded out of breath already. His round cheeks were flushed and he could barely look you in the eye.
“It’s all about you. Don’t worry about it too much. Like I told you, sit back and relax. You can let go whenever you’re ready.” You smiled. All you wanted him to do was relax and enjoy it. He seemed so tense, he always seemed so tense. You couldn’t imagine what he must be going through for him to practically be in pieces, always on the verge of tears any time you’d just look at him.
Even now… You finally noticed his tightly balled fist, and he just seemed so tense— too tense for someone who was about to get sucked off. You quickly wrapped one hand around his length again and used the other to grab one of his fists and place it on your head.
You didn’t want him to think too much, so you quickly took him into your mouth again. He must have understood what you meant because his hand was suddenly in your hair, and electricity ran through your body at the satisfying moan he let out. It was loud, almost like it was meant for anyone to hear. For a moment, you forgot you were in his office in the middle of everyone’s lunch break. That anyone could walk in at any time if you weren’t careful. It seemed you weren’t the only one.
The moment was short-lived. Jungkook quickly brought his hand back over his mouth to stop himself from making any more noise. The moan caught in his throat was muffled, but you could still sense the urgency in his tone without hearing him fully.
Each time you bobbed your head up and down, his reactions fueled you to push further. Jungkook was trying to be subtle, you could tell, and it was almost cute how soft he was. Your hand wrapped around his length to stroke whatever your mouth couldn’t take. He whimpered underneath you each time your lips came down around him, and you picked up on the cute way he lightly gripped your hair with each movement you made. It was so subtle, careful not to squeeze too hard, but you could feel when he wanted more.
Jungkook couldn’t even comprehend the emotions flowing through his body, all new sensations that made every touch you gave him feel so intense. He was barely making it as it was, but this was so new, and he just couldn’t—
“Y/n— I’m close…” He sobbed. He felt worse when you stopped momentarily to look at him because you had barely started. You were only a few strokes in and he had tried his best to push past and enjoy it as long as possible, but it was already too much, and—
“I’m sorry…” He cried, that creeping embarrassment washing over him with vigor. He was prepared for you to say something demeaning. Mocking that he could hardly last, that he was a disappointment, that you regretted doing this with him. He was ready for the painful words he’d grown so used to lately, but they never came as you popped off him with a smile.
“Let go whenever you’re ready.” Your eyes were warm, and for a second he felt all fuzzy inside because it was more compassion than he deserved.
He felt his eyes grow watery, but right before you were about to finish him off, a sound Jungkook recognized too well filled the emptiness of his office. The blaring ring of the phone that sat on his desk made you both freeze. In an instant, the thin veil you both wore over your eyes, shielding you from the outside world, was ripped away.
You and Jungkook just stared at each other. An intense fear came over the both of you, but in the moment, Jungkook knew he had to act. He hurriedly tried to pull himself together enough so he could answer the call. With a worried glance sent in your direction, Jungkook slowly picked up the phone.
“H-Hello?” His voice cracked, the strain from all the crying earlier taking its toll at the worst time possible.
“Oh— sir, are you ok?” It was Secretary Yu.
“Yeah— I’m fine. Is something up?” Jungkook rushed her. With the reassurance it was just his secretary and not an executive, an uncontrollable anger started boiling over at something coming in the way of his relief…
“I’m sorry to interrupt you! I know you’re on your lunch break, but Director Lee is here to see you about a supposed emergency.” Her tone sounded like she felt bad, but Jungkook was more focused on what she said.
He looked down at you, staring wide-eyed at him, waiting for the news.
“Um— can you just tell him to come back later?” Jungkook threaded his fingers through his hair, stressed and unable to hide the annoyance in his voice any longer.
“He says it’s urgent.” She already had an answer, knowing her boss well.
“Fuck.” Jungkook groaned as quietly as he could. It was crude language for work, but his secretary was used to it by now, often on the receiving end of frustrated rants when censoring himself was the least of his concerns.
“Can you give us— me a few minutes?” A slip of the tongue, remembering he was technically the only one supposed to be in here. Luckily, she didn’t seem to notice.
“Of course, just call back when you’re ready.” And with that, she hung up and the countdown began.
As soon as she was gone, Jungkook resisted the urge to throw the phone across the room. Of course the one day he wasn’t in here by himself, Director Lee just had to show up. It probably wasn’t even an actual emergency. He had a habit of doing this from time to time in order for an excuse to speak to Jungkook, and of course this “emergency” had to happen today.
Jungkook looked down at you and debated whether or not there was any conceivable possibility of finishing before Director Lee came in. He was already so close, just a little longer and he’d be putty in your hands.
“What’s going on?” You finally asked when he hadn’t said anything.
“Director Lee’s outside. He says it’s an emergency.” Jungkook felt like crying. He was so close.
You looked around, panicked, because there was no way you looked presentable, and Jungkook looked more than a little disheveled with his shiny lips and your lipstick all over his face. Instead of thinking about it too much, you hurriedly got to your feet, knees a little shaky from being on them for so long, but that didn’t stop you as you quickly tried to help clean Jungkook up.
He looked up at you with wide eyes as you used your fingers to wipe away the red stains littered all over his cheeks, lips, and neck. His eyes were glossy and you had to resist the urge to kiss that look off his face knowing that would just leave marks again, but you let your thumb lightly caress his cheek.
“I’m not going anywhere. I promise I’ll finish when he leaves.” You reassured him as you tried to help fix his ruffled hair, moving the strands back in place and out of his eyes.
Jungkook’s heart hammered in his chest so hard he was almost sure you could hear it. His mind was a mess, and the affection just made him want you even more. He would give anything to have you bent over his desk right now.
He looked presentable, at least enough so that in the dim light hopefully Director Lee wouldn’t question anything. You, though… Where were you going to hide? You looked around.
Your first instinct was to hide behind the blinds, but that would never work in a million years. There was really nowhere in his office you could hide without it being incredibly ridiculous except…
“You think I could fit under there?” You asked quickly, pointing to the spot underneath Jungkook’s desk. It would be a tight fit, but there weren’t any better options.
Jungkook moved out of the way, and with a little maneuvering as you tried your best to find the most comfortable position, you were able to slide underneath. In the meantime, Jungkook went through the painful process of trying to tuck himself back into his pants.
He had tears in his eyes as he struggled for a moment. It was so hard, he was so hard, that at this point trying to get himself back in was more than a task. And his touch… anything could have set him off, but he worked carefully so he wouldn’t end up making a mess in his hands. He couldn’t disappoint you. But it hurt. It hurt so much that at this point, he just had to make do with leaving his pants unzipped because no way in hell he would be able to get them closed.
With you squished under his desk and he now looking normal enough for this short meeting, Jungkook took a few deep breaths to calm his nerves as he scooched closer to his desk.
“You— you ok down there?” He asked quickly.
“Yeah, just don’t be too long.” You called out. Jungkook spread his legs a little wider to give you more room.
It wasn’t the most comfortable position, but at least the view made up for it.
“I’ll try and make this quick. I’m so sorry…” Jungkook sighed, evidently frustrated. Of all days, this had to happen when he had been so close… so fucking close. Director Lee better have an actual emergency. He had a habit of coming in and claiming “emergencies” when really, he just wanted to talk. Jungkook knew what he was doing, trying to get into his favor in hopes of getting into his dad’s good graces, hoping for a promotion soon or after Jungkook was meant to take over.
It was annoying under normal circumstances, but if he was trying to do the same thing now… Jungkook took a few deep breaths to calm himself before finally picking up the phone again.
“Hey… yeah, you can send him in, but please tell him I’m busy and to make it quick.” You intently listened to his words and while Jungkook had tried to stay calm, you could still clearly hear the agitation in his voice.
It was cute. Maybe a little hot too? You shook the thought out of your head, not liking it at all.
With bated breath, you listened to the sound of the door creek open and the hurried clicks of dress shoes slowly coming closer to the desk. Director Lee was alright in your opinion. He was one of the executives in marketing, but you weren’t sure exactly what he did. He was fine at his job, but he would talk for hours about the most obscure thing. You hadn’t really talked to him much, just seen him at the few meetings you’d attended so far as another executive, but hopefully—
“Head Director Jeon!” Director Lee’s cheerful voice rang out. Jungkook had tried to make himself look busy, quickly shaking his computer awake and mindlessly scrolling over some random document he had open before his breakdown.
Jungkook almost rose to his feet on instinct, ready to greet him with a polite bow, but luckily he caught himself before the situation ended less than favorable. Instead, he kept himself busy before finally meeting Director Lee’s eyes.
“Director Lee! I’m sorry for the wait.” Jungkook tried to smile as the man himself came over, bowing quickly before taking a seat on one of the chairs in front of his desk.
Great. That likely meant this wouldn’t take only two seconds. Jungkook just hoped that wasn’t the case, nor did he notice the lack of greeting.
“I’m sorry to bother you when you’re busy, but there were just a few questions I had from marketing for you.” Director Lee smiled, and Jungkook let out a sigh of relief knowing this was actually about work.
You were somewhat listening. You picked up on a few things you’d hear marketing discuss in the meetings you attended, but most of it went over your head. You honestly had hoped that this was only going to be a few questions, but you were always wrong.
At some point, Jungkook briefly mentioned wanting to travel. They had been discussing something about the EU branch located in Germany, leading to Director Lee talking about the time he took his family there when he was on a business trip. Jungkook had quickly mentioned his desire to travel more, and then suddenly he was being handed Director Lee’s phone to look through all the pictures of the Lee family during their trips to all these faraway places.
Although Jungkook did a good job at remaining calm in front of Director Lee, you could see the way his leg bounced restlessly as he listened to the director talk about the time his family went to Budapest from your position underneath the desk. You wanted to calm him down a little and without thinking too deeply, you placed a reassuring hand on his thigh, gently running your hand along it, letting him know you were still here.
You hadn’t been paying too much attention to their conversation. After all, it wasn’t meant to be one you were a part of, and you tried your best to give them a little privacy. But right in that moment, you noticed the way Jungkook stopped talking momentarily about business trips as your hand trailed up his leg, before slowly dragging back into the conversation.
Oh. You liked that a little too much.
Your reassurance was only meant to be quick, a very brief reminder that you were here, but you kept going, your hand going up further, up his thigh to where his open zipper laid. For a brief moment, you considered stopping. Director Lee was right there, but as you started pulling your hand away, suddenly another was wrapped around your wrist stopping your movements.
It took a moment to realize it was Jungkook. You stared for a while, his tight grip fleeting as he lightly placed your hand back on his thigh, all while he continued on with Director Lee. It was just enough to give you the confidence to go further. Luckily Jungkook made it easy for you.
You were a little too eager slipping into his pants, pulling him out ever so gently, and feeling him in your grasp again. Jungkook immediately had his hand around your wrist the minute your fingers brushed against him.
It was a warning, a fleeting one, one you could tell even he wasn’t sure about. For a moment you were sure his hand was trying to pull you closer.
You had some common sense— you had no intention of getting him so riled up that Director Lee would walk around the desk to see you cramped underneath Jungkook’s desk playing with his cock. As much as you’d love to watch him squirm while he tried his best to remain composed, you also wanted to walk out of here with a job. You knew your limits.
You were subtle at first, You watched and listened intently as your thumb lightly traced over the tip. You got another instant reaction, his hand quickly tightening around your wrist, and you heard his voice waver slightly.
Your efforts were slow and controlled. You didn’t want him to scream, but you did want him to feel it. Slow light touches grazed up his skin, so delicate, as you made sure he’d never forget you were here. It was nice, as he returned faint squeezes around your wrist.
“You and your wife should come with us one day!” Director Lee bellowed out with a hearty laugh after Jungkook faintly wished he could have been there for that experience. The conversation had moved to Alaska and the Northern Lights now… you had no idea how they got on that topic. You were startled slightly by the sudden outburst. Your hand slipped and suddenly his fingers were laced in your hair and underneath the laughter, your ears instantly locked onto a subtle moan.
Jungkook was quick to cover it with a cough that Director Lee seemingly didn’t notice. At this point, you feared you had gone a little too far accidently. You were going to call it quits until Director Lee left, but as your grip loosened, suddenly his hand was on your wrist again stopping you in your tracks.
He didn’t want you to stop, and you wanted to please him.
You pushed past your hesitation, instead deciding to get even more bold. You leaned forward enough to the point you were face to face with his weeping cock once again. You took it in your hand and lightly ran your tongue along the tip. You were instantly rewarded with his hand lacing into your hair, and you wished you could have seen his face.
You listened to the way his breathing grew heavier with each swipe of your tongue. You also noticed the subtle way he’d try to keep your head down longer any time you came up. As wrong as it might be, it was hot, and as much as you didn’t want to admit it, so was he.
He was painfully hot, so hot you once again found yourself wondering how you didn’t notice sooner. You honestly probably didn’t want to, your hatred blinding you from both his suffering and anguish as well as his… nice composition. That wasn’t entirely true… you knew that he was conventionally attractive, maybe a little more so than most, but looks meant nothing when he was being petty to you. Now that you were exposed to the cracks in his façade, you could push past your turbulent history and acknowledge the fact you understood the stares he received when he’d walk around the office and the swooning no matter his questionable leadership. You got it more than anyone now that you’d gotten a glimpse behind his sad gaze.
Unfortunately, you understood it too much. Watching him try not to fall apart in front of the director made the ache between your legs apparent, and you wanted nothing more than to take him right there in his office. But this wasn’t about you; it was about him. You wanted that sad look behind his eyes to disappear, even just for a second. But later tonight you just might need to revisit an old friend you kept in your bottom drawer. A reunion was more than necessary at this point.
Curse him.
•────•──────────•────•
Jungkook should have stopped you, he knew that. This was embarrassing, the highest level of inappropriate he could have achieved, but he felt like he’d reached such a breaking point that he simply didn’t care. All he could think about was the orgasm that he was on the verge of having before you were interrupted. The minute you had your hand on him he never wanted it to leave.
At this point, he was this close to screaming at Director Lee to leave. But he rambled on and on about all the excursions he took his family on whenever he got some time off. Jungkook tried his best to smile and nod along whenever he made eye contact, but the minute you had your tongue running along him, he could barely keep it together.
Jungkook wondered how Director Lee hadn’t noticed. He wasn’t doing a good job hiding that something was up. Jungkook was struggling to keep his eyes open as your lips wrapped around him with the subtle flicks of your hand. At this point, Director Lee probably thought he had some type of cold by how much he had to cough to stop himself from moaning out for you to make him cum.
He felt delirious, like he was looking over the precipice of a high-rise and the world around him started to spin as he tried to make out the ground down below. He was so close. So close to finally getting the release he’d been craving for days. So close, but of fucking course Director Lee just had to come into his office now.
“I’m sure Ms. Han would love Barcelona!” For some reason, Director Lee had already started planning out a trip that Yuri and him were meant to join with his family. Jungkook practically had to bite his tongue to stop himself from saying that the last thing he wanted to think about was Yuri when he had you underneath his desk pleasing him so well. He didn’t want to think of anything; no work, no business, he just wanted to cum… why was that so hard?!
“I’m sure she—she—she… would.” Your tongue had licked right over the slit and he was horrible at pretending he wasn’t on the verge of losing it. You felt so good.
Your efforts weren’t enough to get him to cum yet, something he felt was intentional. But the longer he had to stare at Director Lee’s face, the more he was starting to care less and less about the world around him. He just wanted—
Please.
“It’s honestly beautiful— I went there when I was fifteen. It was a high school trip I’m pretty sure, and—” Blah blah blah, if he wasn’t out of his face in the next two minutes…
He didn’t want to hear about this trip. Spending any time with Director Lee outside of a work context felt like a nightmare. Jungkook knew that he’d probably end up spending less time with Yuri than Director Lee, talking his head off about some random thing he’s convinced they have in common. It maybe wouldn’t be so bad if Jungkook didn’t know his type as well as he did. It was all an attempt at trying to fast-track a promotion. Director Lee probably didn’t care about him at all, or the things they had in common, and would actually hate for Yuri and him to be there on his family trip. This conversation was pointless.
“And we’d have to go hiking across the… sights are so beautiful… the pictures I took were—”
“O-oohhh-oh…” It was a quiet, hushed moan and Jungkook quickly had to blink away the tears that had started to settle in his eyes at the strain of keeping it together. You had finally taken the whole tip and Jungkook was just getting worse and worse at covering up his moans. The cough that followed was a little slow, and he probably sounded in as much pain as he felt.
He wanted to see you, wanted to touch you.
“Head Director Jeon, are you ok?” Director Lee feigned concerned. He always insisted on calling him his full title instead of the more casual “Director Jeon” that everyone else used and he preferred. He would even choose the awkward “Mr. Jeon,” despite it making him feel weird since he was younger than the majority of the staff he worked with, over the full title. He hated people using it for no other reason than it always just felt like just an attempt to get in his good graces.
“Fine— just…” deep breaths… “The cold’s started to get to me slightly…” Jungkook tried to laugh, but his eyes were getting watery. He probably looked like a mess. He wanted you to make him into an even bigger one than he already was.
“Oh! If you’re sick, I know a great tea recipe that would—” Jungkook couldn’t pay attention any longer than two seconds. He couldn’t stop imagining what might happen the minute Director Lee left, what you might do, and the blissful release afterward. He just wanted you, please, please, please…
He couldn’t do this anymore.
“— Director Lee, I’m sorry to interrupt, but—” it hurts so much “but I’m pretty busy today…” Jungkook tried to be nice, but he really was worried what he might do if Director Lee wasn’t out the door in the next five seconds.
Director Lee looked shocked for a second. He wasn’t expecting that. Usually Jungkook would always put up with his bullshit even though he despised the mooching, but today any longer and Jungkook would seriously cause a scene.
Jungkook attempted to put on the best, most apologetic smile he could muster as the Director processed his words.
“Oh, yes, I’m sorry. Your secretary mentioned you were busy before I came in.” Jungkook nearly jumped for joy when Director Lee finally got up from the chair in front of him.
Director Lee bowed politely and Jungkook once again had to resist the urge to get up and bear him a respectful farewell, but that was out of the question right now. Instead, Jungkook bowed his head slightly, hoping the director wouldn’t think too much of it.
“I’ll be in contact about how things go at the US branch,” Director Lee mentioned and Jungkook had nearly forgotten that he had first come in with an actual reason. Aside from discussing some things about marketing, Director Lee had wanted to go over some information before he left for the US branch tomorrow, and that’s how they ended up talking about travel. It was then when Director Lee mentioned how his family just came back from London and he was flying out again.
Jungkook only nodded, nervous that if he spoke at this point the only thing that would come out was an embarrassing plea for you to make him cum. But to his delight, Jungkook watched Director Lee make his way to the door. You must have heard him leaving because the minute the sounds of his footsteps echoed off the marble floors, you quickly kicked it up five notches, finally putting Jungkook out of his misery and taking him down your throat again.
Jungkook’s eyes fluttered closed as he took it all in. Your mouth brought so many new sensations, he was having trouble keeping up. It felt good, and deep down he selfishly relished in it all.
“Have a good day, Head Director Jeon.” Director Lee bowed and Jungkook wanted to scream at him to leave, but instead he sent another pained smile and a slight wave his way.
When he heard the door close, Jungkook let his head fall to his desk. Silent besides the now obvious sounds of you shifting underneath the desk. It hurt so much, he just wanted to—
“Please, please, please make me cum!” A hushed sob escaped as the tears finally spilled from his eyes. He was shameless and his ears felt hot with embarrassment, but for a moment he didn’t care, he just wanted to cum.
He felt you gently tap his leg and he finally remembered that you were cramped down there. He quickly rolled his chair back, giving you the opportunity to climb out from under the desk. He watched with hungry eyes as you stretched your tense limbs. Even fully clothed, just watching your body move under your blouse was more than enough to make him lose his mind.
Get it together, Jeon. But he couldn’t, he wanted you so badly— his watery eyes stared as you moved back into a comfortable position between his legs.
“Please— please— I’m so close.” He cried.
You looked at him with those kind eyes and gave him a warm smile that tingled more than just his heart.
“I got you, just let go when you’re ready.” You didn’t even give him a chance to answer before you took him in completely. Jungkook couldn’t stop the moan that fell his lips at the warmth and wetness your mouth provided. It was amazing, you were amazing, you always were. Your pace was quick this time, sensing his urgency. It was probably only a few seconds before that growing feeling returned, this time with no plans of stopping.
“C-close!” Jungkook hurried out, but he feared you couldn’t understand him with how mangled it came out.
Jungkook let one hand tangle in your hair, needing to grab ahold of something, while the other came over his mouth to stop himself from screaming. For a second, he worried if he was doing this right, was he embarrassing himself right now? Did you hate him? Did you resent him for pulling you into this? This was all so new, he didn’t want to mess things up, but he couldn’t think clearly and hardly had the capacity to care right now.
Jungkook finally found the strength to look down, the sight of you taking him so well caused sparks to run through his body, making it impossible to delay the inevitable.
“Your mouth!” It came out a little louder than he wanted it to, but it was meant to be a warning. He was close, and if you didn’t move away soon then… He thought you’d move off of him, maybe finish him off by hand, but instead you sped up your pace despite his warning. For a second, Yuri flashed in his head, and the sheer utter fear of disappointing you like he’d done to her so many times came crashing down like a wave in a storm.
As he sped toward the edge, he tried his best to delay it until you could get off of him. Yuri would hate the mess and he feared your reaction— no, he had to last just a little longer—
“Y/n, I’m serious, I’m—” His efforts were fruitless. The tears in his eyes finally spilled over; the pleasure and the guilt grew overwhelming. His body was on fire, and the sheer relief of having you this close made the end come all too quickly.
Jungkook kept his hand clamped over his mouth, but his attempt was futile as moans still slipped from his lips. They were muffled, nonsensical, and sounded as pained as he felt, the blinding hot release spreading throughout his entire body and ultimately into your mouth. Tears ran down his cheeks, his grip in your hair growing tighter as you steadily worked him through his orgasm.
“Fu—oh—go—fuck.” There weren’t words to describe how good he felt.
He could feel his release paint your mouth, a horrible mix of shame and something else he didn’t want to admit bubbling in the depths of his mind. His whole body shook, even after what felt like an endless stream of his release filled your mouth. Wave after wave of tears just kept coming because finally… fucking finally.
He momentarily forgot where you both were and who he was. It just felt so good to forget. It was the freedom he craved when he was alone sometimes. But this was wrong, he knew it was.
As the wave started to die down, instead of a graceful landing, he practically crashed with how quickly new tears started spilling from his eyes. His muffled moans turned into sobs and he couldn’t bear to look down at you. He didn’t want to see your disappointment. You were already so kind, and he just had to go and ruin it because he couldn’t wait until you had moved off of him.
“Jungkook, you ok?” Your voice was laced with concern as he felt your hand running along his thigh.
“I’m sorry!” Jungkook just sobbed. His face was wet, and his hair was soaked with tears and sweat. He knew he looked like a mess.
There was a moment of silence while you tried to rack your brain for what he was talking about. “Why are you sorry?” You were so gentle, hating how upset he seemed.
“I tried to— I tried to wait— I’m so sorry!” He choked out, trying to be quiet as Secretary Yu was right outside, but the shame that crept over his body made it hard to stay in control.
You looked notably shocked.
“I told you that you could cum whenever you were ready,” you chuckled, rubbing his leg gently.
“That’s not— your mouth… I came inside— I’m sorry.” Jungkook finally looked down and you could see just how distraught he seemed, the wetness around his eyes more than heartbreaking. Finding a little strength, you finally rose to your feet. Your knees were achy, but you persevered so you could face him a little better.
You took the initiative and brought your finger up to his chin so he’d look at you. His eyes were shiny, red, and filled with a sadness you couldn’t quite comprehend. This wasn’t how this was meant to end.
“You don’t need to apologize for something I wanted.” You gently rubbed your thumb along his wet cheek. Your cheeks burned from the confession, but you were glad you said it when you saw the tension fall from his soft features.
“H-huh?”
“Maybe I should have asked, but I thought it was best to avoid any mess.” Might he have preferred it more if he painted your face? The image in your mind made your face even hotter, not exactly against the idea if you didn’t have to worry about walking out in front of your coworkers.
“I thought I messed up already… made you disappointed, that you— you’d hate me too.” Just the word hate made his eyes watery all over again. He’d heard it too many times from Yuri, and he was sure it wouldn’t be long before he heard it from you too.
It was then you realized what he was referring to, that he thought somehow cumming in your mouth was a mistake he made? It was crazy and reaffirmed that Jungkook was telling the truth when he said it was his first time having someone go down on him. But that was the least of your worries, instead, the harsh words he’d expected as retribution stood out to you more than anything. The truth of the reasoning behind his sad eyes, why his dimpled smile never appeared anymore, and the sense of what might be happening behind closed doors grew more terrifying the more he spoke to you.
“Just wanted you to feel good— I can’t hate you for that.” You smiled, and you were a little shocked when you suddenly felt his hands on your waist pull you closer.
“Did it feel good?” You giggled at the affection, but your face was burning. This isn’t what you expected from him.
Instead of answering, Jungkook tugged you down onto his lap and wrapped his arms around your frame, pulling you into a tight embrace.
“Thank you…” He shakily sighed. You couldn’t truly understand the relief you brought him. It was his gratitude for everything— for being here with him, for putting up with his pathetic desperation, for making the thoughts that clouded his mind dissipate for only a second, and the list could go on really. You seriously were as amazing as he imagined.
“I didn’t know… it just— it felt so good, thank you… thank you.” He sweetly mumbled into your blouse. You would have never pictured Jungkook as the affectionate type, and your body and mind were struggling to keep up. You tried your best to ignore the way your heart was nearly beating out of your chest, instead choosing to just be there for him. If this is what he wanted, you’d happily oblige, doing whatever it took to make him feel better— to fix him.
“No need to thank me— if anything, thank you.” You laughed. You were just as guilty as Jungkook. All you could think about since Tuesday was Jungkook’s body pressed against yours in a heat of emotion. You thought giving him the cold shoulder would be enough to forget it all, but you were so easily pulled back in. You hated it, right now you wanted to avoid the consequences, but you couldn’t stop the growing warmth spreading through your body seeing him feel a little better.
You expected him to laugh along with you, but Jungkook’s gaze just held onto yours before his eyes started traveling down to where your bodies met. You were a little confused at first, but once his eyes met yours again, you realized you knew that look all too well.
Oh?
You watched with curious eyes as he started leaning in, curious what he might do considering how timid he was earlier. Maybe it was because he was still riding the high you gave him only minutes ago, but this time he easily pulled you in to meet his lips.
He was so gentle, he always was. You quickly realized you liked the way his kisses felt, the way he held you close. You didn’t hate it; you couldn’t hate this at all. The soft moment was over quickly though, as his hands started running along your body, instantly making the simmering flame reignite inside you. Your hands quickly found a place running through his long, damp hair, pulling him closer because the last thing you wanted right now was to be away from him.
All of a sudden, Jungkook wrapped his hands around you and hoisted you up onto the desk. He was standing between your legs, much like the position you found yourselves in a few days ago. Then his lips were on your neck, light, but more than enough for a soft moan to leave your lips before you could stop yourself. Your body was hot, and the urge to pull him closer was growing painful at this point.
“I want to make you feel good too,” Jungkook softly whispered against your skin. Dangerous, the words were so dangerous, and you wondered if he noticed the way your legs wrapped around his waist tighter, wanting to make that very wish come true.
“You’ve been so good to me— it feels so unfair, like I'm being too selfish. You’ve made me feel so good, you should too.” This is certainly not what you were expecting out of this interaction. You had imagined that since Jungkook was cheating on his wife with you, this was all going to be about the indulgence he couldn’t get from his wife. You were just the method he’d use to get himself off. It’s not like you entirely hated the idea of him using you for relief, you were here to help him after all, though anytime you’d think about it as an affair it made you sick. But you never thought there was anything in it for you.
Jungkook’s warm hands sliding up your thigh took you out of your thoughts, steadily pushing up your skirt in the process. When he held you like this, it was easy to forget where you were.
You placed your hand on his, stopping him from pushing it any further. You noticed his eyes glance down, and suddenly panic spread across his features as he quickly grew noticeably flustered.
“Oh— was I being too pushy? I’m sor—” You quickly shushed him, not wanting him to overthink it.
“It’s just— we’re still in your office in the middle of a work day,” you pointed out. It was easy to forget that in the heat of emotions. Plus, Jungkook had the blinds closed, the lamp on his desk the only lighting for the room. But the glimmer of sunshine slipping in from underneath the blinds was the sole indication that it was, in fact, the middle of the afternoon on a perfect, cloudless, sunny day.
Jungkook looked over at the windows as well, and you noticed the way his face flushed. It seemed he had forgotten as well.
“Ohhhh, right.” Jungkook shyly mumbled, clearly a little disappointed. “I’m sor—”
“Don’t apologize. I honestly want to take you up on the offer— just not here where someone might walk in again.” At the mere mention of Jungkook touching you, your body remembered how his fingers felt inside you that night. Despite his clear lack of experience being on the receiving end of pleasure, Jungkook somehow knew how to touch you in a way that made you see stars.
Jungkook pulled you a little closer. “I know a place— uh, only if you’re interested.” He quickly added, always so polite.
You gave him a look that told him to keep going.
“It’s a storage closet for most of the cleaning supplies and sometimes additional things for the office. Only the janitors use the room, but they hardly go in there since it’s not really a janitor's closet. They mainly use it for restocks of their supplies. Plus, no one can come in without the required access,” Jungkook explained, and it sounded perfectly like what you needed.
“I’m assuming that means you have access then?” You looked down at the lanyard he had sitting on his desk.
“I’m the only one aside from the janitors.” He shyly smiled.
You thought about it for a second before hopping off the desk. “Alright then, sounds like a plan. I have a meeting to get to and some work to do— but are you free at four?” You asked, trying your best to smooth down your hair and clothes.
Jungkook moved out of the way slightly, and from the corner of your eye, you could feel his gaze scanning over your body. You couldn’t stop the smirk spreading across your face.
“Uhhhh…” For a second, you wondered if waiting until four was too big of an ask.
“I can wait— yeah— four’s ok.” There was a shakiness to his words that made it seem like he didn’t entirely believe himself. He really was too cute.
You focused on trying to get yourself back to normal, working on your hair with only your hands as best you could. Jungkook helped you get the smeared lipstick off your face, and you helped him with a similar problem along with taming his hair and fixing his shirt so it didn’t look like you’d been tugging on it for the last half hour.
In the end, you were able to get yourself to look somewhat decent. You realized way too late that Jungkook had a mirror in his office and you were able to address the details that he might not have seen. Jungkook looked good too. Well, he always did, but maybe you might say he looked even better than when you first walked in?
He had this cute, dopey grin on his face, and the way you had messed up his hair made the soft curls cascade around his face in a way that made him look incredibly ethereal. He had what some might call a ‘glow,’ and it didn’t take much speculation to figure out what it might have been from.
A swell of pride filled your chest, along with a bit of relief knowing you were able to make him feel better, even if only for a short amount of time.
Your goodbye was brief. You knew your coworkers, Taehyung and Solmi especially, would be looking for you by now.
“See you at four,” you mentioned as you took one last look in the mirror. Jungkook had told you where the closet was, and he was sitting on his desk looking at you while you finished getting ready.
“Mhmmm” He lulled. “Can’t wait~” It was a shy admission that made this cute, boyish grin appear on his face.
You had to get out of here.
“Alright then, don't forget to eat lunch!” By the look on his face at your words, you knew he probably hadn’t even thought about it.
“Don’t forget… you’re on your lunch break after all.” You reaffirmed, knowing there was a chance he’d still forget even after your reminder.
“I won’t… see you later.” That same dopey smile appeared on his face and you had to physically tear yourself away so you could finally leave. Curse him and that face of his.
You were finally able to leave. You hastily sped past Secretary Yu, and in the corner of your eye, you caught her confusion at your sudden departure. You could only hope she hadn’t heard anything. You don’t know how long she was there…
•────•──────────•────•
Maybe you should have just taken Jungkook up on his offer to take you right there on his desk again. You had underestimated your own ability to wait. Jungkook had riled you up too much. Watching him lose himself from your mouth, with his eager need to reciprocate, made you excited.
You hated it. You hated this. Just like that night, you had left his office feeling good, but once you made it back to your desk, those feelings of guilt and shame came back all over again. You had to remind yourself a couple of times that this was a married man you were messing with. He had a wife, and you were jeopardizing any chance of their relationship ever improving. The thought of being a homewrecker, the other woman, made your skin crawl. You hated it.
This was wrong, and that was all you should be feeling as the weight of your actions started to sink in. You hated it even more because you were excited, painfully so, as you watched the time tick down.
Jungkook certainly didn’t help either. It seemed his eyes were on you any chance they’d get. The strange thing was you saw more of him today than you usually do. Jungkook liked to spend his days holed up in his office, aside from the meetings he was required to attend and oversee, but today things were different.
Jungkook was everywhere you turned, that same dopey look still on his face, and he always seemed to be staring at you. You wanted to scream at him because he couldn’t make it any more obvious, but you couldn’t because you liked his hungry gaze. It just fueled your thoughts about what might happen at four.
You were uncomfortably hot despite the freezing temperature outside. You were angry, you were way too horny, and as much as you should have been running away when the time finally struck four, you couldn’t have been happier.
Jungkook had texted you about an hour ago (you both had quickly exchanged numbers right before you left) that he was going to go about five minutes or so early to let you in and asked for you to wait a little while just in case anyone saw anything. Just like a few hours prior, you walked through the halls looking over your shoulder, closely analyzing to make sure no one was following or even seeing you in the hallway. It was more stressful than it should have been, but eventually, you made it to where Jungkook had instructed.
Storage Closet. Okay, this was it.
*Knock knock,* you paused for a second, and then followed it up with an additional two knocks. It had also been his idea to add a special, secret password just in case. You thought it was a little much, but he looked so cute while he came up with the code, so you let him have his fun.
It took a second, and you were a little scared that for some reason this wasn’t the right door, or that maybe Jungkook might not be there yet and you came too early. But right as your anxiety soared through the roof, a small crack opened in the doorway.
Lo and behold, peaking right through the door were the big, round, bewildered eyes of the man you were hoping for. You let out a sigh of relief as he opened the door further, revealing that it was just him in here like he promised. You looked around once more before going inside.
Jungkook had kept the lights off, but as he shut the door behind you, he finally turned on the dim light and you were able to see the space a little better. It was pretty much exactly what you expected. There were mainly shelves lined with cleaning supplies and the occasional surplus of office supplies, like a huge stack of printer paper that you quickly made note of to ask Jungkook about later because you were always running out in the copy room. Besides that, there were a couple of tables you were confused what they were for, but some lined the space where the shelves ended, and there was also one that sat right in the center of the room. The room wasn’t that big, smaller than Jungkook’s office, but not by much. It definitely wasn’t cramped, and you let out a sigh of relief knowing it wasn’t grimy like you had feared. Instead, it matched the rest of the modern sleekness of the office outside. It really was perfect.
You finally turned around to face Jungkook. He hadn’t said anything yet, but with the telling look in his eyes, he didn’t need to. You had only just noticed that Jungkook had gotten rid of his suit jacket, now just adorning his white button-up carefully tucked into his blue slacks with the sleeves rolled up. It all came together with a black belt with a shiny, gold buckle that glinted in the low light. You could only imagine how much it cost knowing the type of money he had. He looked good, too good. It’s like he had a long day at work, casting aside his jacket for a little more breathing room, and was now standing right in front of you. He looked casual, but classy in a way that made you squeeze your thighs together because, wow. With this look, you could even catch a glimpse of the tattoos that you had seen the other day. It was too much. You were too weak, and you just needed this man now.
“Sooooo…” you began, the silence starting to grow a little awkward.
Jungkook honestly didn’t know what to say. He was too busy drinking you in. The minute you left his office, he instantly regretted not asking if you had time to slip away to the storage room a little sooner. He was riding a high he didn’t know how to come down from. You had blown his mind. Sex had never felt that good, and you taking the initiative had been something he struggled to comprehend all day. It just made him even more eager to please you. You had been so nice, nicer than what he deserved, and he just wanted to make you feel even a sliver of what you gave him. He highly doubted it could compare, but anything to show you how grateful he was to have you here with him.
Jungkook had struggled to keep it together since the moment you left. His eyes found you easily as he was pulled out of his office far more often than usual. It was nice to see you, but it just made this moment that much harder to wait for. Now that you were in front of him…
Jungkook barely noticed you had spoken. Instead, his gaze fixated on your long legs, your sheer black stockings coming up all the way to meet your short, black pencil skirt. Your outfit was completed nicely with a red blouse and pointed stilettos, making you even more alluring. You had also done a bit more fixing up since you left his office. Your red lipstick was back to perfection and your hair was neatly styled back the way it was when you initially walked into his office.
He didn’t have the confidence to say it earlier, and he was honestly a little ashamed that it was even a thought in his head, but he liked the way you looked after he was done with you. Something about ruining your neatness made his length ache in a way he didn’t quite understand. It was embarrassing, and he knew he should be ashamed, but for some reason today, he just didn’t know how to act.
Jungkook’s feet acted faster than his mouth could. He was never the best with words anyway. Slowly, he approached you, and instinctively you moved back until your legs hit one of the tables that lined the walls. Jungkook was quick to close the gap, pulling you into another tight embrace that made it so easy to bury into your warmth. For a second he just took it in, loving how you felt in his arms, and you smelled so good too.
“Fuck.” He lightly moaned into your shirt, embarrassed at how easy it was to rile him up. It didn’t take much from Yuri, nor did it take a lot from you either. Maybe he was easy. Yuri has mentioned before how easy he was to please. Jungkook never knew exactly what that meant. He was just trying to be a good husband. It felt wrong to demand anything more than what Yuri offered… but maybe she was right.
However, he didn’t want to think about that now. You made it so easy to forget about his marriage when normally the only thing he could focus on was how much of a failure he was, how he was making Yuri miserable, and how he could make her happy only if he was a little better. Instead, it felt like the rest of the world melted away anytime he was in your presence. It might sound horrible, but he enjoyed the silence for once.
“Jungkook?” You finally questioned after he held onto you a little too long.
“Oh right, I’m sorry.” His face burned, worried you might think he was weird. He separated from you and went back over towards the door, where he held up his hand to the light switch.
“Not a lot of people come down this hallway. No one should bother us, but just in case, it might be better to keep the lights off so no one suspects we’re in here,” Jungkook added. It was both a legitimate reason and also an excuse to turn the lights off again. The lights were dim, but not dim enough, and the thought of you seeing him, disappointing you like he had done to Yuri so many times… he couldn’t do that. It would be easier this way.
“Oh? Smart thinking, sir.”
Jungkook quickly flipped the lights off, the only light now coming in was from underneath the door. Both of you could hardly see each other, but Jungkook was used to the dark. His eyes adjusted quickly to see a vague outline of your form standing by the desk.
“Mmmmm… What did I say about being so formal with me?” His tone was low, teasing almost, and when his hand grazed your arm, you practically jumped in surprise. It made you shiver when you realized he was so close.
“No Sir, no Mr. Jeon, no Director Jeon, no Head Director Jeon. It’s just Jungkook when we’re alone like this,” Jungkook mumbled slowly. He hated it, especially from you. It felt weird anytime anyone was formal with him, but he especially couldn’t stand the honorifics when you were both literally the same age. It felt wrong and fake, and that’s not what he wanted to be like with you.
“I got you. I’m sorry, Jungkook.” You made sure to emphasize his name since apparently he liked hearing it.
He did. He really did for some reason. Taking him out of the moment slightly, he had to stop himself from giggling at you trying to make him out in the dark, your squinting all too adorable. It made the horrible need to have you consume him in seconds.
Jungkook had his arms around you again, this time to lift you onto the table. He was gentle, like he always was, and he kept in close proximity. Having you this close again made his brain all fuzzy. Jungkook moved even closer and pulled you back into his arms.
“I missed you…” he sighed, an embarrassing confession but one that was true nonetheless. He couldn’t stop thinking about you since you’d left, and it felt so good to have you here.
You didn’t want to admit it either, but it felt so good to have him here as well. You sighed in relief as you pulled him closer, wrapping your arms around his neck.
It was a moment of softness that neither of you were really prepared for. It was nice though; you couldn’t deny it. He gave great hugs, so warm and inviting. There was an unexpected sweet smell in the air around him. You could tell his cologne was expensive, it was soft and delicate, just like the wine he gifted you on Tuesday. You felt like you could get drunk from his very presence, and that just made the ache even worse.
“Jungkook, please—” you rushed out, and he was quick to respond. Jungkook pulled you close, finally closing the agonizing distance between you two. You both had run out of patience to be soft and you were too needy to take it slow, instead going straight in with hurried and desperate kisses.
Your lips chased after each other. Any moment apart felt like an eternity, and when his hands came up and gently tugged on your blouse, the room grew hot quickly. You both knew at the end of the day, as much as you wanted to savor this moment, you were still in the middle of the workday. This had to be quick.
Jungkook let his hand roam down your sides, touching and squeezing anything he could grab. Your blouse came first. He anxiously toyed with the few buttons it had and you both made quick work of undoing them until you could feel the chill air of the storage room on your chest. It made you remember what you had on underneath, and you cursed to yourself slightly when you realized it wasn’t anything cute, just a regular, plain black bra. But you found some relief in the fact that it was dark in here. You could still barely see Jungkook even after a few minutes had passed. However, Jungkook must have superhuman eyes because you felt him pull back for a second, and you thought you could see him staring because of the faint outline cast onto him from the light underneath the door.
And he was staring. How could he not? You took his breath away every time he saw you. You were too kind for doing this, and deep down he knew that it was likely because of how pitiful he looked. It was probably the only reason any of this was happening. You gave him the same look that everyone else did. Dr. Min, Jimin, Dae-Jung… he’d seen it too many times. He hated it. He hated the pity. They just didn’t understand, you didn’t either apparently, that he deserved everything he got.
To try and rid himself of his darkening thoughts, he quickly kissed you once again as his hand trailed up your thigh to push your short skirt up. It pleased him more than anything when he felt your soft skin, letting him know you were wearing thigh-highs once again.
Jungkook groaned into the kiss, a burning desire returning all too quickly. No, no— this was about you. As much as he might want to have you, he was being too greedy. Even though Yuri wasn’t here, he could hear her words filled with disappointment at him for being so selfish. You already fucked him a few days ago, and despite his pathetic begging, you gave him his first blowjob. It had been all about him so far, and you’d given more than he ever deserved. If he could only stop thinking with his dick for five seconds, maybe he could make you feel even a quarter of what you gave him—
Tears pricked his eyes with just the feeling of having you so close as your hands ran over his shirt—
“Wanna make you feel good…” Jungkook said, far too shakily. His hand snaked in between your bodies, his eager fingers shocked to meet the wetness of your panties.
“Please, Jungkook, please,” you cried out as quietly as you could. You couldn’t take it anymore. He quickly learned he wasn’t like Yuri; begging worked far too well on him.
Jungkook stepped out from between your legs to give himself a little more room. But right before you could complain at the distance, Jungkook put a reassuring grip on your waist and his other hand traced the expanse of your covered thighs ever so lightly. Your breath was shaky the closer he grew to where you wanted— no, needed him, as his fingers lightly ran over your stockings, your body going into overdrive anytime he’d inch a little closer.
“Fuck—” you whined, enjoying the light teasing, but you wanted more. You had no idea what he was doing, but every touch felt so sensitive. He finally pushed past your skirt and played with the hem of your stockings, pulling them back and letting them snap lightly back into place.
You both moaned.
“You’re so hot, I—” Jungkook groaned, but didn’t finish what he was going to say because something about that seemed to have set him off. He buried his face in your neck, quickly planting desperate kisses along your skin as his hand finally made their way to your panties once more, rubbing the soaked fabric.
The way you practically yelped when you felt his fingers running over your slit was a little embarrassing. The way he made you feel didn’t make any sense. Jungkook knew just the way to touch you that had you practically bucking into his hand as he finally settled his fingers on your clit. Despite his lack of experience in other subjects, Jungkook certainly knew how to touch the little bud the right way, though he already proved that to you the last time.
You gripped the table hard as waves of pleasure traversed your whole body, stimulating an eagerness you hadn’t felt in a while. It reminded you of college, being on your own for the first time in your life, and how that freedom came with a need to explore. It was good. You both didn’t know each other’s bodies yet, but you still found ways to make each other feel good and forget about the countless deadlines that loomed over you.
Jungkook gave you that rush all over again. A youthful rush that you only thought was possible to feel before you hit your second decade.
He must have noticed your growing frustration because his fingers finally pulled the soaked fabric to the side, and you were able to feel him without any barrier in the way. You were absolutely soaked, embarrassingly so. Over the buzzing of the AC in the background, the squelches of his fingers running through your drenched folds filled the room and made your cheeks burn.
In the dark all your senses were heightened. You felt Jungkook’s body on yours and his soft sighs of pleasure right in your ear as he rubbed himself lightly against your thigh. In the heat of it, you could tell he was holding himself back, how he wanted more but seemed keen on his promise to make you feel good this time.
Your body grew hotter by the second and the moment his fingers settled on your clit once again, drawing fast, teasing circles, while you struggled not to scream out loud. You quickly had to wrap your hands around his shoulders to stop yourself from crying out for any unlucky coworker who happened to be walking by to hear.
Even though the closet was slightly secluded in a hallway not many usually walked through, it certainly wasn’t far from where they did. You could even hear them in the far distance, the sounds of murmured voices growing louder before fading off, or the hurried clicking of heels through the tiled halls. They would definitely hear if you weren’t quiet.
But Jungkook was making that almost an impossible task by the way he was touching you. And you only wanted more.
“Jungkook!” His name tumbled from your lips far too loudly, your mind a little fuzzy, but you just needed him.
Suddenly, you felt a soft kiss on your cheek and then another one on your neck, a little slower this time in pulling away.
“Can I taste you?” Jungkook lightly moaned in your ear, so gentle and soft in the way he asked. Tingles spread through your whole body and a whole new wave of arousal soaked his fingers.
It was criminal how pretty he sounded.
“Please,” you whined as quietly as you could, tears pricking your eyes. You’d never been so turned on before. The shame at the realization that this was happening at your workplace filled you for a second, but Jungkook pulling his hand away and lightly running over your thigh quickly brought you back.
You groaned as you watched his faint outline move back between your legs and drop down to his knees. You could see the faint glimmer of his eyes as he bent down, his eager, yet innocent expression a deadly combination in such a compromising position like this one. But his innocence proved to be merely a facade. Jungkook quickly placed your legs over his shoulders, wrapped his arms around your thighs to hold them in place, and tugged you closer to the edge of the table. He was close enough that you could feel his shaky breath against your soaked folds. A shudder ran through your body. Maybe it was good you couldn’t really see him. You already knew you enjoyed the sight of him on his knees too much.
Suddenly, you felt light kisses trailing up your thigh, getting closer and closer to where you wanted him. “Want to make you feel good,” Jungkook softly sighed. “Just want to make someone feel good.” It was quiet, and you only just picked it up before Jungkook buried himself between your thighs.
You were certainly unprepared. Your mind was too fuzzy, all you knew was you needed to feel him. But your assumption about his lack of experience was once again proved to be incorrect.
Jungkook instantly got to work pleasing your body, planting soft kisses along the expanse of your inner thighs, growing closer until you whined when he kissed between your soaked folds. You had to swallow back a moan when you felt his tongue licking run up your slit. He was eager and didn't hold back once he found your clit. You groaned, feeling the tentative patterns he drew around the bud, skilled, knowing exactly what to do to have you seeing stars already.
“Fuck.” You wanted to scream, cry out, do something. The fact you couldn’t, turned you on in a way that confused you, but also frustrated you to no end.
Your hand raked through his hair, moving him closer and making sure he didn’t pull away anytime soon. You knew you could cum from this if he kept at it long enough. You never knew how much a little foreplay could rile you up, but for some reason you found yourself close to the edge already, even though he’d barely started.
Jungkook really didn’t need to do too much to affect you, but he was such an eager boy, desperate to please, and he wanted to give you the full experience despite the dwindling time you had before someone would start questioning where you both were.
Jungkook pulled away slightly and replaced his tongue with enthusiastic fingers, going back to pumping you with two, and tears pricked your eyes when he managed to fit in a third.
“Oh! Fu-oh,” you cried, and Jungkook couldn’t help but think the sounds you made were the hottest thing he’d ever heard.
Yuri wasn’t loud— Jungkook never knew how to take it, whether that meant he was doing a good job or not or if she was just on the quieter side. The only reason why he didn’t go crazy thinking it must be because he was terrible was because it was the only regular aspect of their sex lives. But with you, he decided he preferred the cute way you tried your best to keep quiet, but occasionally when he’d touch you just right, you’d make these adorable squeaks.
Your hand had found its way into his hair again, and with the way you held him close, you were practically fucking yourself against his tongue. You were a little rough, your grip tight, but he liked the way it stung. Your desperation was affecting him and he just wanted to make you feel good. He liked the way you were using him. It felt good to be used, needed, wanted, even if it was just for a second.
He was sloppy, not bothering to try and keep things classy. His mouth was practically covered in your arousal, but he loved it. You tasted amazing. Seeing you like this was amazing. Even though it was dark, he could see the way your eyebrows were furrowed by the faint glow coming through the cracks in the door. You were breathtaking. It made the strain in his slacks worsen, seeing you turn into a mess the longer he kept going. He was hardly keeping it together as it was. You probably felt it before he even dropped to his knees. He was hard, but he had to keep it together. This was about you, only you.
What would Yuri say if she knew how riled up he was getting even after you already gave him so much? She would be disappointed and so would you. He’s been so selfish. He just had to make you feel good—
Jungkook hoped you wouldn’t notice, but he was crying again. One tear fell, then two, then they just wouldn’t stop.
Jungkook groaned into your pussy, a mix of frustration and delight. You were so good, he had to be good for you too. And that seemed to be what it took to get you to start hurdling off the edge.
“Koo— Jungkook— fuck— fuck— close.” Your feeble attempts at being quiet were all in vain as your desperation grew for sweet release.
Jungkook was somehow able to make sense of your whimpering and quickly picked up the pace. He hastily switched back to using his mouth and wanted more than anything for you to finish on his tongue.
He was back with his skilled tongue, and your sensitivity brought you to the edge all too quickly. Jungkook focused on your bundle of nerves again, going from tracing to sucking to the point that you were a writhing mess in his arms. Your thighs tightened around his face, your grip in his hair growing tighter, making him groan out, the pleasure and pain a combination that made the ache somehow even worse. You were shaking in his grasp, your hushed whines growing more incoherent, and oh— he wanted to see you cum.
He felt like he could cum all over again. Embarrassing.
It wasn’t long after that Jungkook watched with eager eyes as you fell apart on his tongue. Wave after wave of pleasure kept hitting you. Jungkook helped you ride it out, easing up a bit, but staying close. You felt like you were riding on cloud nine, and for a second you even forgot where you were. The little closet disappeared, the company building disappeared, maybe the whole world vanished, leaving your mind in a state of bliss. It was just you and Jungkook and the overwhelming blissful end he gave you.
It took more than a moment for you to recover, your ragged breathing filling the space as you tried to pull yourself together. Jungkook eventually pulled away when you started to whine from the overstimulation.
It had never felt like that before. You could only imagine what type of pleasure he’d bring you under better conditions. This was going to be a problem. This was going to have to end one day, and you couldn’t get too attached.
After some time, Jungkook shakily rose to his feet. His body felt like it was on fire. You had nearly made him cum as he watched you reach your peak, it was too hot seeing you like that. Normally someone who’s always so put together and neat, you looked like a complete mess, and it just reaffirmed his earlier concern that, in fact, he enjoyed seeing you like that.
Horrible, wasn’t it?
Jungkook could hardly look away, his body screaming out to have you. The thought of walking out when he felt like this was unbearable, but this was about you, this needed to be about you. He didn’t want to disapp—
Then all of a sudden, your hands were on his shoulders, pulling him closer in an instant. He was back between your legs, and before he could question it any further, you were pulling him in for a fervent kiss.
You seemed not to care that he was still covered in your juices and Jungkook had to fight back the urge to buck into you like a wild animal at the thought. Yuri hated when he tried to kiss her afterward, she hated kissing him anyways.
He settled into it, one hand on your waist, the other lightly cupping your cheek. As much as he was trying to control himself, you made it impossible with the way your hands raked over his body, the thread of self-control he tried to maintain for your sake quickly withered away. With each second, he grew closer, to the point you were pressed right against each other. You could certainly feel it now, the way his body pleaded for yours. Jungkook had to quickly pull away, his eyes growing watery all over again.
“Wait!” He cried. He didn’t want to stop. He didn’t want to at all. He could see your confusion in the darkness.
“This was about you— I promised— I—” It hurt so badly. He wanted you so badly.
You relaxed at his words.
“Well, I want you, so—” You started to rationalize, but Jungkook wasn’t having it.
“But—”
Instead of going back and forth and letting this turn into a long discussion, you decided to take action instead. Your hands found their way to his belt and quickly started to undo the strap. His breath was heavy as the buckle jingled when you finally managed to get it undone, and you didn’t give him any time to process before you went for his pants next and reached in to pull him out.
Jungkook groaned into your shoulder, feeling your hand wrap around his length. You lightly ran your hand down to the base and then back up, tracing your thumb along his leaky tip.
“Oh— oh— oh!” You were making it so hard for him. It was cruel. “I’ll wait, I’ll…I’ll…” The words were for himself more than you. He needed to keep himself in line, he had to.
“Mmmm, you certainly don’t feel like you want to wait,” you chuckled breathlessly. It was only meant to be a light tease, but you felt him shaking. His soft sniffles let you know he was actually crying.
“I’m sorry…” he sobbed. He felt like he had disappointed you. His body had betrayed him in a way that made Yuri scream at him anytime he tried to pull her close afterward. He wasn’t in control, he should be better than this, she’d always say.
“Jungkook, didn't you hear me earlier? I said I wanted you.” Instead of the degradation he was expecting, the softness of your voice as you pulled him a little closer melted him in your grasp. You couldn’t even imagine the things he’d been told that would make him think this way.
You couldn’t really see it, but Jungkook was staring at you wide-eyed. For some reason, he was having issues processing your words. They just didn’t make sense. He had already taken too much, hadn’t he? But the simple thought of you wanting more had him subtly moving his cock within your grip.
“Do you want to do this?” You asked when you noticed his movement.
Despite your confession earlier, Jungkook found it hard to admit how much he wanted to fuck you. You took it upon yourself to help him, bringing his tip to your soaked folds and letting it run through your arousal.
“Fuck— Y/n!” he whined. It instantly got a reaction from him, his need soaring beyond all reason. He couldn’t think straight anymore, and all he could focus on was the thought of finally slipping inside you again, just like he’d been imagining over the last few days.
“Do you want this?” You repeated, still so soft. Not a demand that he had to fulfill, but a genuine question asking if he wanted more from this.
For a second, he didn’t answer, the sound of his breathing growing more labored as you ran his cock up and down your slick. He couldn’t answer. You felt so good and he was trying his best to get back in control, to not be so weak as Yuri would always say, but you made it so hard.
He wanted to fuck you, and he probably would have pushed into you right then and there if suddenly he didn’t remember something.
“I— I still don’t have any condoms with me,” Jungkook cried, tears slipping down his cheeks as he fell into your shoulder. Fuck— how was he going to walk away from this?
“We don’t need one— I’m still on the pill, remember?” You pulled him away so you could look him in the eye. “If you’re ok with it, we could continue, but if you’re not comfortable doing that again, that’s completely fine.” You smiled, and there was genuine concern behind your gaze.
Jungkook normally wasn’t the risky type when it came to sex. He barely had sex enough for a habit like that to even be established, but with Yuri he was always so careful. She would never forgive him for even taking the chance of getting her pregnant, and he didn’t want it either. Not when he was like this, clinging to life by only a few short strands. With Yuri, he made sure things were right no matter his desperation, but with you… Once was risky enough, the heat of emotions causing protection to completely slip his mind. He had remembered this time, but after hearing your reassurance, his usual caution was thrown to the wind and all he could care about was feeling you.
In a haste, Jungkook took it upon himself to finally guide his cock into your warmth, moving your hand out of the way while he grabbed his length and finally slipped it into your slick hole. He watched your expression intently as it turned from surprise into bliss, pleasure overtaking your features, and you just looked so pretty. It made his desperation worse as your tight warmth enveloped him. You were so wet; he slipped in so easily, like you needed him just as badly as he needed you.
Jungkook had to fight back the urge to sob. After so many days of playing your night together over and over in his head, his imagination could never compare to how good you felt in real life. Despite his earlier indulgence, Jungkook had to fight tooth and nail to deter himself from filling you up right away. You had had to deal with that once already, he couldn’t disappoint you— not again. The fact that you were even doing this with him was gracious enough. He couldn’t keep putting you through his failures.
Jungkook tried to slow his breathing down while he waited for you to get adjusted and for himself to calm down enough to move without instantly blowing his load. Even now, you were making it difficult in the way you were squeezing around him, and he already knew he wouldn’t last very long no matter how hard he tried.
You noticed he was tense and planted a few kisses across his cheeks, but Jungkook pushed your face so your lips would finally meet his again, engaging in another passionate kiss that only made you squeeze somehow even tighter around him.
Jungkook broke the kiss and let out something between a groan and a whine. “Fuck— fuck— I—” He wasn’t entirely sure he wasn’t just going to cum right then and there. Embarrassing.
“I’m sorry— so sorry.” He cried. “I don’t think I’ll make it very long…” You would probably want nothing to do with him after this.
You went back to kissing his cheeks. “Don’t stress, ok? Fuck me how you want to, don’t hold back for me.” Your warm smile could be seen even in the darkness. You looked like an angel…
Your words set a fire inside him. Fuck me how you want to— you were far too nice for someone as pathetic as he was. But as shameful as it was, he enjoyed your sympathy.
Jungkook didn’t hold back anymore and finally started moving his hips. You both moaned, but quickly realized the volume of your mistake, pulling each other into another kiss instead. You both swallowed each other's cries amidst the sounds of clothes ruffling, and the wet, slick sound of his quickening pace pumping into your heat. The table you were sitting on started to creak with his hurried struggle to properly feel you again.
Jungkook rolled his hips in a way that made your toes curl and had you struggling to keep quiet. He was good, settling into a nice, rhythmic roll after a few desperate thrusts in the beginning. His size filled you up in all the right places, a satisfying stretch that you could more than just grow used to.
It wasn’t long before you both had turned into a tangled mess of limbs trying to feel each other. Jungkook had buried himself in your shoulder. Kissing you grew impossible. Instead, he cried out as silently as he could into your skin.
He managed to delay his release for longer than he had expected, but the rush still came on quicker than he would have liked.
“Close!” He whined as quietly as he could before picking up the pace. He couldn’t last much longer with the way you were squeezing around him. It was all too much, and before he could even try and hold it back any longer, his hips stilled and he filled you up with everything he could give.
Jungkook quickly pulled you into a kiss as his hand made its way between your bodies, and his fingers hastily found your clit again. He started making hurried motions around the bud until you were clinging onto his shoulders while your next orgasm surged through your body. You both were out of breath as the heat of the moment began to simmer down. It was the first moment he was finally able to think clearly again. There was one half of him that looked at you with the utmost admiration, someone far too kind to be messing with him. He never thought he could get enough of you. Then there was the other half…
The post-bliss clarity made him look at the situation as it truly was. He was cheating. This had truly turned into cheating. He’d betrayed Yuri’s trust, and there was nothing he could ever do to regain it. He didn't deserve to. But as horrible as it was, Jungkook found himself wanting to do it with you all over again, to have you in his arms so the world would melt away and he could just indulge.
But unfortunately, the other half looked at you with the same shame and disgust he held for himself. All you were now was a reminder of how horrible of a person he’d become, and he couldn’t stand it.
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#bts smut#jungkook smut#jungkook x reader#jungkook fanfic#for the birds#bts#jungkook#bts fluff#bts angst#bts jungkook#jeon jungkook#bts fanfic#bts imagines#bts scenarios#bangtan boys#bangtan sonyeondan#bts fan fiction#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst
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more low effort art of Alejandro and Noah!! I love them sm,,,, (I actually don’t like this drawing as much but it’s not horrible so I thought I would post it)
Some more of the fic out of context:
“The challenge begins in ten minutes! You kids have fun, I’ve got places to be!” Chris says into his large megaphone as the helicopter begins to take off. Noah rolls his eyes and hugs his arms closer to his chest. Cold and angry is never a good combination. Next to him, Alejandro scoffs quietly. Noah glances over at the taller teen, eyes still obscured by his sunglasses. Alejandro’s mask of “calm, kind, and flirtatious” is no where to be seen. The rest of the contestants are further away, and he hasn’t noticed Noah’s eyes on him yet.
“¿Qué ‘lugares’? ¿Una residencia de ancianos?” Alejandro mutters. He clearly didn’t mean for Noah to hear what he said given how quietly he spoke, and it took all of Noah’s self control to not burst out in startled laughter. He bites his bottom lip to suppress a laugh. His Spanish isn’t great-he’s barely conversational- but he understood enough. “What ‘places’? A retirement/nursing home?”
There was something about the way he said it that set Noah off. Alejandro had this air of irritation to him that Noah sees every morning when he looks in the mirror. He’d never seen the teen more unhappy to be here than in this exact moment, and it only made it more funny to him.
Every once in a while, Alejandro’s mask would slip up and Noah would get to see through his facade, even if it was just for a split second. He would make some sarcastic or mean comment, or just glare at a contestant. The mask was never down for more than a moment, but Noah noticed. Alejandro… he wasn’t that bad in those moments, if Noah was being completely honest with himself. The mask would slide right on the moment he remembers there’s people around, or when someone talks to him. It was like whiplash, despite how minor the changes were. It was almost impressive how much of a difference a few relaxed facial muscles and a charming smile could make.
Noah realizes he failed to suppress a snort at Alejandro’s comment when the other teen turns to look at him. Noah freezes like a fever in headlights as Alejandro stares at him. What surprises him the most, however, is that despite Alejandro realizing someone heard him, he hadn’t tried to hide behind his facade again. That irritating smile that Noah hates so much isn’t anywhere to be seen. Alejandro looked like he was silently speedrunning the 5 stages of grief before finally landing on confusion. It wasn’t until Alejandro began to speak that Noah remembers that he’s not supposed to know Spanish.
“Do you-“
“Sorry! I, um-.” Noah blurts out, frantically searching for an excuse and praying to any god that’s listening that his sunglasses are obscuring enough of his face to hide his panic, “I. I sneeze weird. I have mild anemia and get cold easily, and it’s already cold as hell here.”
Not a complete lie- he does mild anemia- but he’s basically rambling. Before Alejandro has the time to doubt or question him, Heather yells out to them.
“You two losers better get your asses over here! I will not have my win be delayed!” She’s stood further away from them with the rest of the contestants a bit away, stood in front of the beginning of the next challenge. Noah gladly latches on to the chance to switch topics
“Careful with all the cursing on camera, Heather! We wouldn’t want Chris to chop off all your hair again!” Noah calls back has he begins his trudge though the snow towards the challenge. He avoids Alejandro’s stare as he walks past and hopes he won’t push the issue. It’s too early into the game to be making mistakes, especially when it involves his biggest threat.
#total drama island#noah total drama#tdi fanart#total drama alejandro#total drama noah#alenoah#td alejandro#Benny’s TDWT fic#total drama world tour#fanart#total drama
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What names mean to Kaiser + How roses represent curses
Thank you @gachagon @hooudie212 and @blrpr for responding to my meta prompt. Your insights helped shaped mine. And now that my classes for the week are over, I felt free to ruminate on this topic while washing the dishes earlier. I’ll now share to you guys the conclusion that I came up with.
But before I start, let me just acknowledge how @gachagon made some great points about what Kaiser’s and Ness’ names could mean and how it ties together to their roles as King and Pawn.
However, all your arguments involving name meanings hinges on the premise that Kaiser knows what everybody’s names even mean in the first place… And surely he can’t be that aware? Still, it’s an interesting take on what the author’s intent was in choosing their names.
But whatever Kaneshiro truly intended is hard to guess. So in this meta, I’m gonna focus solely on Kaiser and how his mind may have worked.
Without further ado, let’s go—
Although it’s unusual in German culture, the original members of Bastard München address each other by surname:
We could just brush this off as the author’s way of appealing to the local Japanese audience, considering how some foreign players in other teams also call each other by surname (e.g. Lorenzo saying “Snuffy” instead of “Marc”). (Though, there are some who do address each other by given name, like Agi saying “Chris” instead of “Prince”, which is more true to reality.)
However, this meta isn’t about those other foreign players, nor is it about Bastard München as a whole.
After chapter 260, I find it impossible to brush off the significance of names to Kaiser, especially when his backstory literally begins with an introduction of his name:
The boy’s name is Michael Kaiser.
The chapter didn’t start with “Michael Kaiser’s childhood was something no child should want or ever endure.” It started with “The boy’s name is,” in one box all to itself, distinguishing it from the rest of the text on the page.
The emphasis of the Name on the very first page tells us straight away that names are an integral aspect of Kaiser’s character.
However, despite this established importance of the Name, throughout the rest of the backstory, Kaiser is mostly referred to as “the boy.”
The one other time Kaiser’s name is brought up is this panel:
With an alcoholic, gambling addict father beating the crap out of him every chance he got, the young Michael Kaiser grew up.
But notice how the Name is included in the sentence. The first part talks about the abuse, or the cause, and the second part with the Name talks about the result.
I don’t know how accurate this would be since I’m merely referring to a fan translation, but the way this sentence is worded, plus the sense of detachment evoked in calling Kaiser as “the boy,” is sending out the message:
Point #1: Michael Kaiser is not the boy who was abused. It was the boy who was abused who became Michael Kaiser.
This point also ties in well with the last words of the chapter:
At that moment, something in the boy snapped. No, not snapped… Born would be more accurate. That something is…identity!
He was a Boy first before he was Michael Kaiser.
With this, the Name now holds even more weight.
Further along chapter 260, context on “Michael” is given:
Paired with the first page of the chapter, this specific panel hammers home the notion that the Name is important.
Let me bring attention to this part:
‘Michael,’ the name that the mother gave the boy shortly before she left
and then this:
was never uttered by the father. Not even once.
Seeing that Kaiser had no friends, peers, or other adults around him growing up, it can be assumed that only the Mother had ever called him Michael.
But she left. She left after giving the name.
And the Father refusing to call him “Michael” precisely because it was given by the woman who left would also constantly remind Kaiser of this fact.
This makes two things clear in Kaiser’s mind:
The Mother who called him by his given name abandoned him.
The Father who refused to call him by it never left.
Point #2: To call someone by their given name is to abandon them.
Kaiser calling Isagi by given name is therefore his way of “abandoning” him—or, in other words, eliminating him. Yoichi is someone he must eliminate if he wants to live a successful life, like how the Mother who gave him the name eliminated him from her life to become a popular actress.
Kaiser not going by “Michael” also makes sense with how he wants to become a strong person who doesn’t give up easily (re: his conversation with Ness in c243). Why would he go by something that reminds him of abandonment when he’s trying to keep going?
As for why he goes by his father’s surname instead of just giving himself a new name entirely… it’s a lot more complicated...
From the same page as the previous panel, we have this:
Yet, the father treasured a rose the mother had once given him. The boy didn’t understand why the father kept something from someone who ruined the father’s life.
The Father kept a rose from the Mother who left.
In the same way, Kaiser goes by the surname of the man who had made his childhood a living hell.
Both are keeping something from someone who ruined their lives.
To understand why Kaiser goes by surname, I think we must first understand why the Father kept the rose.
As @aiulbones pointed out in the replies of this post, the unwilted rose in the glass is a Beauty and the Beast reference.
There are lots of variations on the fairytale, but from what I remember of the versions I’ve read as a child, there was no one rose in a glass. Instead, there was a rose bush or rose garden. The rose in the glass—or simply, the Enchanted Rose—is actually the trademark symbol of the Disney 1991 adaptation.
In the Disney movie, the Prince was cursed to be a Beast and must find true love before the last petal of the Rose fell. To protect the Rose and possibly slow down the fall of its petals, it was encased in a glass dome.
When Belle betrayed the order to stay away from the West Wing, she came across the Enchanted Rose, inciting the Beast’s fury:
youtube
Most people think the Rose represents Love, but it’s not. If it did, then it’d make no sense for it to make the relationship between Belle and the Beast worse.
In contrast, at the end of the movie, right after Belle says “I love you” to the Beast, the last petal of the Rose falling is shown, and shortly after, the curse is broken:
youtube
(skip to 01:13 in the video)
In short, the Rose is a representation of the Beast’s curse. It does not represent love. It does, however, also represent a search for love. And only when that love is found would the curse break.
The Father keeping the Rose represents his inability to let go and move on from the woman who left him. He hates her, but he’s also still obsessed with her. This obsession has become his curse. And like how the Beast was unable to form a deep connection with Belle while he was being overprotective of the Rose, the Father is unable to love Kaiser as his son because he is still obsessed over the Mother.
Now, let’s go back to Kaiser.
I agree with @gachagon’s idea here:
I see Kaiser using his last name as opposed to his first name as a thematic symbol of him rising above the circumstances he was born in. His surname may be shared by a man who cared nothing for him, but he can make it greater than that man ever was and have it be a title befitting just him.
Also love @pinkinsect’s thoughts:
his father never actually called him michael so i wonder if that name feels foreign to him? if kaiser is a reclamation of some sort
Kaiser going by his surname is a way for him to rise above the Father who abused him. This is nice and all, but remember, Kaiser also has a Rose—the blue rose tattoo.
Roses represent curses.
(order of images is top, then left to right. Click on the image to read.)
According to Kaiser, the blue rose symbolizes the achievement of the impossible. A symbol of defiance. But what is he defying?
I was originally a mentally weak person. I constantly gave up when I faced things I believed to be impossible.
Kaiser is defying the idea of being weak, of being helpless, of being trash—an idea instilled in him by his Father.
His curse is his childhood trauma. And the fact that the Rose is blue—representing the impossible—and even tattooed on his skin tells us that this curse is not easy to break.
Point #3: Kaiser may have thought he was reclaiming the surname, but in reality it was just a manifestation of his obsession.
The same way the Father’s obsession over the Mother is manifested in his refusal to call Kaiser by name.
Gathering all the points we have so far:
Point #1: Michael Kaiser is not the boy who was abused. It was the boy who was abused who became Michael Kaiser.
Point #2: To call someone by their given name is to abandon them.
Point #3: Kaiser may have thought he was reclaiming the surname, but in reality it was just a manifestation of his obsession.
Conclusion
Kaiser’s goal is to become impossible to define, but the irony is that his entire name—Michael Kaiser—defines a prison.
Yet, it also concisely sums up his entire life.
And to even live as just the Michael Kaiser was something he had to fight tooth and nail for:
After losing to Yoichi, Kaiser has become even more obsessed over defying the idea that he is trash.
He thinks that the only way to stop being trash is to defeat Yoichi. But this view of winning as the sole affirmation of worth is unhealthy and needs to be stopped.
Kaiser needs to realize that… he never was trash.
He doesn’t have to keep defying anything because there is nothing to defy.
Besides, he has already defeated the “impossible.”
He is no longer the Michael who was abandoned, nor is he the Boy who was abused. But until he realizes that he is not the trash Kaiser like his father, he will never be able to break the curse.
But how does one break the curse, exactly?
Roses represent curses.
But Roses… also represent a search for love.
And Kaiser is already…
...very much loved.
He just needs to realize it.
#this ended up being longer than expected#started writing at around 6pm and now it’s 2am jshgfjhsdf#michael kaiser#michael kaiser meta#blue lock#blue lock manga#blue lock meta#miyamiwu.meta#miyamiwu.src#bllk#child abuse
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My Brothers Girl / / Christopher Sturniolo
summary: You're in a relationship with Matt, but you're slightly unhappy with some aspects. One night those needs are met, but not by Matt.
Warnings: Smut, cheating, relationship between brothers and y/n, fingering, enemies to lovers, use of y/n
There will be multiple chapters of this story. -----------------------------------------
I walked downstairs to grab some water. Matt’s been busy on his games all morning and I’ve been working on my laptop. Suddenly parched I finally left his bed after a few hours, needing a break. After getting my water I close the fridge and turn around. As soon as I turned I walked right into someone causing me to fall to the ground, spilling the water.
“Watch where you’re going kid.” I heard. I looked up and saw Chris, he had a scowl on his face. Not even bothering to help me up he walked around me also grabbing a drink from the fridge. He did give a look over of my body before moving, causing my breath to hitch. He probably meant nothing of it, but why did it make me respond that way? Me and Chris are constantly fighting. Why? I have no idea, but for some reason we’ve loathed each other since we met. Which becomes annoying when I’ve been dating his brother for 4 years now.
“Maybe don’t stand so close to me and I wouldn’t have to.” Returning the attitude I stood up and grabbed a towel to clean the mess. “Maybe don’t be here all the time and you wouldn’t always be in my way.”
At this point we started bickering, getting into one of our typical arguments. Hearing our voices getting higher by the minute, Matt makes his way downstairs. “What’s going on in here?” He walks in asking me before moving his attention to Chris. “Can you just leave her alone man, why do you have to make things so difficult?” Chris raises his voice again, “She’s always fucking here! Just keep your pet out of my way and on a leash.” Storming out of the kitchen. “What the fuck. Your pet? Where does he come up with this shit?” I ask angrily watching him leave the kitchen. “I don’t know. Sorry about him. Lets head back upstairs.” He pours me another water.
Night time comes around and I’m cuddling in bed with Matt as we’re relaxing for sleep. I turn to face him in his arms, burying my face in his neck and beginning to leave light kisses. He lets out a small moan and leans his face down to mine, capturing my lips in a soft kiss. He then picks his head back up sitting it on top of my head. “I’m a little too tired tonight babe.” I let out a sigh of frustration.
I love Matt, so much. But we’ve been together for years and haven’t fucked yet. I’ve even begged him, and every time he turns me down. Yet always teasing with passionate make out sessions. The only thing I’ve fucked at this point is myself during masturbation. My body literally screams for release at this point. “ima go to the bathroom. Be right back.” He lets me up and I climb out of bed.
I head down the hallway in the pitch darkness, I can’t see shit. This causing me to walk straight into something. At first I thought my lack of sight caused me to hit a wall. I heard a chuckle. God damn it. “I see you’re still blind to where you’re going. Matt still not keeping you out of my way.” I could feel his eyes on me, staring daggers. I then feel his finger tips lightly graze my cheek before disappearing. I felt his presence walk around me to continue his way. “Do better at being conscious of your surrounding princess.”
I stood there, face flushed and heat running through my body from the weird yet gentle contact. What just happened? I shake it off and continued my way to the bathroom.
Chris:
I have no idea what came over me to make that gesture towards her. Or to say what I just said. Can’t take it back now though. Why is she always here? Does she not have a home to go back to? It’s really finally getting to me at this point. Being around her is unbearable. Knowing she belongs to Matt and not being able to do anything about it, or be able to have my way with her how I’d like to.
I know they haven’t done anything together. Which is insane. Every time I try to ask him about it he completely avoids the question. I can’t say I haven’t thought about it myself. Imagining fucking my brothers long term girlfriend before he even does. The thought alone is exhilarating and it takes everything I have to not turn around right now and follow her to the bathroom. Pushing her up against the door, trapping her and having my way. Pleasuring her in a way she hasn’t been pleasured by another human. Being the one to take her virginity from her. I can feel the heat rush to my penis as I’m laying in my bed. I really wanted to go to Nicks room to sleep but I can’t in this state. Looks like I’m sleeping alone tonight.
The next morning I’m walking down the hall to head to the shower. As I pass by Matts room, his door is slightly ajar, just enough for me to see part way in. I was going to walk straight by, but then I saw her. Her silhouette. I stopped in my tracks looking in just far enough from the door that she wouldn’t notice me. I watched as she lifted her shirt over her head, revealing her perky breasts. Her nipples getting hard from the lack of warmth that was once covering her chest 5 seconds ago. I could already feel myself starting to get hard. I looked at her smooth legs as she began to pull down her pajama shorts. Her long hair swaying down as she holds them to step out. Fuck, I gotta get out of here. I get to the bathroom and jump in the shower to release myself from the discomfort in my pants.
That night Matt leaves to head out of town. He had some event he needed to go to. I was sitting in my room playing video games and listening to music. Then a thought suddenly crossed my mind. This is my chance and I can’t take this anymore.
I get up and walk quietly to Matts room. The light was already off meaning she was in bed. I walk to the door and slowly push it open, shutting it silently behind me. I tiptoe over to the bed and pull back the covers slipping in. She was facing the other way so I took the opportunity to slip my arm around her waist and pull her close. She made a soft moan at the intimate contact. “Matt? I thought you left what are you doing here?”
Not answering I pulled her tighter to me, leaning down to land small kisses on her neck. She let out another small moan. God that sound is amazing. My kisses slowly started to become harder bit by bit, turning into small bites in between kisses. She moaned again this time moving herself closer to me, letting her ass push back into my groin. I made a small grunt at the tension between the fabrics of our clothes. I run my hand down her side landing on her hip, squeezing it. She turns her head to face me. Thank god it was too dark for her to see it was me. She leans in for a passionate kiss, moving her hand up behind my head deepening the contact.
I let my hand start to sneak down her side more, rubbing down and back up her thigh, inching closer to her warmth landing on her inner thigh. I start to pull one of her legs up opening her for me. My hand runs higher up her thigh an inch away from her now. She lets out a slower, louder moan. “What are you doing?” She parts our lips just enough to whisper, I can still feel her mouth brushing mine. “Don’t worry baby, just let me make you feel good.” I whisper back. Luckily mine and Matts voices sound just enough alike that she doesn’t question anything. My hand moves up, running a finger down her fold through her underwear. She gasps against my lips and turns her head back the other direction, laying it against to nape of my neck. I begin to rub gentle slow circles around her clit. The sweet sound that escaped her mouth pushed me over the edge.
I turn her over and climb on top of her. One hand by her head and one reaching back down. I run my fingers on the line of her underwear, hooking one in and pulling them down. She immediately obliged and lifter hips to help me remove them. God she has been craving this. I can just tell by her haste movements.
My fingers returning to her pussy, I continue to rub circles on her clit again. “Ugghh yes” She moans into my mouth. “Does that feel good sweetheart?” I speak against her lips. “Yes. Please more.” She grabs the back of my neck to pull me closer. I slip a finger inside her, being careful not to hurt her. “Let me know if anything is uncomfortable” I felt her nod against my face. After a minute I slip in another finger. She moaned again, arching her back into my touch. “Fuck me”
I smirk into her mouth knowing she has no idea. It turned me on more. I leaned up to remove my pants and boxers. I move my lips down to her neck as I position my tip against her pussy. She sucked in a deep breath, her nails digging into my shoulders. “You ready baby?” I ask, fully ready to thrust into her. I have to remind myself to go slow when she sighs out a yes.
I gently start to push into her bit by bit. I heard a whimper come out of her and stopped. “You okay?” She nodded “Yeah, please don’t stop.”
I started moving again, finally in her I groaned. I sat there for a moment waiting for her to make the first move. After a few seconds she grinded into me, granting me permission to move. And god did I move. I started with small thrusts, her small moans hitting my ears, causing me to groan and moan.
She arched into me giving me the go to which was all I needed. With that, I moved faster. Pulling completely out at one point to slam into her. A loud moan escaped her and I kept going. “Harder!” She almost screamed. “You got it ma”
I went harder, I went faster. “Oh god I’m gunna cum! Don’t stop! Oh god!” I somehow went even harder, if possible. I could feel my own release coming on. “Oh fuck” I let out a loud groan. “Fuck, yes, please, yeeesss!”
I felt her walls tense up around me and her legs shake a little, letting me know she was on her release. “Just hold on baby, ride this out with me” After another minute I pulled out, cumming onto her stomach. My hands land on either side of her head, I pant trying to catch my breath. Her arms are wrapped under mine, clutching onto my shoulders from the back as she also tries to regulate her breathing. “Fuck, finally.” She breathes out. I chuckle over her.
I stand to grab a towel from Matts closet to clean her off, tossing is to the floor after wards. Climbing back into bed with her, I wrap my arms back around her waist pulling her into me again.
Part of me is actually terrified how this is going to go from this point. I’m definitely not leaving this bed tonight though. Her reaction is going to be priceless when she wakes up in the morning to no one laying next to her.
I wake up the next morning early enough to move back to my own bed. Maybe an hour or two later I hear the front door open and steps moving on the stairs making their way to Matts room. I assume he plopped himself right on the bed next to her, she’s fully naked, a cum drenched towel on the floor next to her.
To my surprise nothing happened. What the hell? There’s no way she wasn’t confused right now.
#chris smut#chris sturniolo#matt sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#smut#fanfic#sturniolo smut#sturniolo triplets#romance#chris x y/n#chris x reader#imagine
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Soundtrack to Disaster
Chapter IV: Break Your Pretty Face
masterlist | playlist | pinboard | prev.
song(s) for this chapter: no remorse by metallica, hate you by boston manor, choke by idkhow, let’s talk about your hair by have mercy
chapter tags: swearing, drinking, meanish!eddie, angst | fic tags: Angst, hurt/(eventual) comfort, (eventual) smut, slow burn, enemies to friends to lovers, Eddie Munson x Fem!OC!Reader, Modern AU | This fic is rated 18+ MDNI
summary: everyone seems to be lobbying against you, in favor of the kid that put your brother in jail.
a/n: inspo returning rapidly, don’t let me burn out now.
taglist @children-of-the-grave @five-bi-five @kellsck @faggotinie @xplrnowornever @taccobelle @micheledawn1975 @mewchiili @dreamerjj comment/message to be added!
DISCLAIMER: I do not consent to having my work fed to AI engines, or reposted in any way, shape, or form on other websites. Unless otherwise stated, this is the only account that features and contains this work, and any replication was done without my consent. Please let me know if you see my work elsewhere. Reblog to support the author!
—
“Chris.” You give him your best death glare, arms crossed tightly against your chest. “Talk.”
“In my defense,” he stands from his spot on the floor. “I thought he’d told you years ago. I didn’t think to follow up, I thought it was just, y’know, common sense.”
You scoff. “And you think Eddie has that?”
“Y’know what, kid? Yeah, I do. Eddie’s a good fuckin’ dude. Granted, I guess I can see why you wouldn’t think so under these circumstances, but I have to let him explain that to you. I couldn’t begin to understand that choice.”
It’s like he’s speaking in riddles. What could there possibly be to explain? Eddie testified against Chris to save himself. Case closed, he’s a selfish bastard. “You gotta go see him, Bee.”
“Why do I care?”
“Come on, you care a little. You two used to-“
“Shut up.” You grit your teeth. “You haven’t been here. You have no fucking clue what happened to us.”
“I know, I know. I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, whatever. You’re dropping me off though, I’m not wasting gas on this bullshit.”
He nods, unhooking his keys from his belt loop. “Well,” he gestures to the door, “After you.”
-
You get to Eddie’s trailer in what feels like record time, causing you to frantically rehearse what you want to say to him. You have no idea what Chris has said, why he’s so adamant that the two of you speak.
“Call me if you need a ride home, ‘kay?” Chris unlocks the passenger door. “And please, don’t kill him. I know he looks tough, but that kid’s the biggest softy I know.”
You groan, rolling your eyes so hard you’re sure they’ll get stuck. “I can’t guarantee I won’t at least try to kill him.” You mock his tone from earlier. He shoves you playfully, and you swing the car door open.
Eddie’s underneath his van, an old piece of scrap metal on wheels at this point, and you can hear him grunting as you approach him.
“Careful now, don’t want her wound too tight.” You gently kick his foot, and he slides out from under the vehicle.
“Back for revenge?” Eddie slaps his hands together to wipe off the excess grease he’s accumulated, then stands to better greet you. He turns the music on his stereo down, some obnoxious metal song you’re sure he thinks is super artistic. “Look, I know you probably didn’t want me taking care of you, but I wasn’t gonna just leave you there to pass out on the floor.”
“I just want some answers.”
“Yeah, alright.” Eddie wipes the sweat from his forehead. You can’t help but take him in, white t-shirt covered in black soot, coveralls pulled down low on his waist. His hair is tied back, revealing his soft cheeks and metal clad ears. He catches you staring and waves a dirty hand in front of your face. “Hello, earth to Tweety?”
“Stop calling me that.” You huff, fists clenching at your sides. “No one calls me that anymore.”
“That’s why I like it. But fine, what d’you want me to call you?”
You glare at him. You know he’ll come up with a multitude of nicknames that will make your stomach flip with rage if you give him that freedom. “Bee’s fine.”
“Aw, c’mon, everyone else calls you Bee.”
You shrug. “Shoulda thought about that when you betrayed my trust forever.” He’s too invested in your banter, and you catch him off guard.
“Wow, right to it, huh? No ‘How’re you, Eddie,’ no ‘Sorry I puked all over your shoes, Eddie.”
You flush. “I puked on your shoes?”
His facade breaks, and he grins wickedly. “No, you didn’t. But I had ya for a second.”
“Ugh, can you be serious for like, five minutes? Then I’ll leave you alone forever.”
“Forever, huh? Sounds way too good to be true.” You can’t explain why his words sting. You feel them in your throat. Eddie plucks a joint from his ashtray and pats his many pockets. “You gotta light?” He asks, filter between his teeth.
You pluck your bright yellow lighter from your sweatshirt pocket, offering it to him. “Thanks, Bee.” He winks at you, and you fight the urge to start walking home. He puffs on the poorly rolled joint and offers it to you.
“No, thanks. I only smoke with friends.” It’s a low blow, you recognize that, but the frustration in your chest is building to an unbearable level.
Eddie clutches his chest in mock offense. “You wound me.” He pouts, batting his obnoxiously button-like eyes. You have to look away.
“Well, you said you wanted answers. Let’s see what I can provide.” He hops up onto the hood of his car, feet dangling above his license plate. You stay planted in front of him, posture tense as you debate how to approach the topic. “Why doesn’t Chris hate you?”
Your question throws him off. “What do you mean?”
“Don’t play dumb, Munson. You testified against him. I’d be counting down the days til I got out so I could get your ass if it were me. How- why are you guys still friends?”
Eddie shakes his head, inhaling yet another hit. “Chris is just not that guy, I guess. Maybe he had time to think in the hole.” His response is completely unconvincing, and you roll your eyes for the millionth time today.
“That’s bullshit.”
“Okay, you know what? He told me to do it. Said it would keep me out.”
A pregnant pause. Then, shrieking, “And you just listened to him?!” Your voice is octaves above natural, growing more piercing by the second. “Friends don’t do that! They don’t betray each other.”
“Look, Bee, I don’t know what you want from me. An apology? Fine, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I listened to Chris and got him locked up, I’m sorry I’ve made you fucking despise me. I was eighteen, barely fuckin’ legal. I had no priors, no guidance. I had no one to ask for some goddamn help— besides Chris— so I trusted him. If I could go back and change it, I would. I’d rather have him hate me one hundred times over if it would mean a good relationship with you.” He stops abruptly, lips pressed together tightly like he hadn’t meant to say that.
“Well, you can’t.” A weak response, mumbled to the floor.
“Yeah, no shit.” Eddie cranks the music back up, slamming the door on your conversation. It’s another loud, angry song. “You can go now.” He turns his back to you, and you can’t even bring yourself to ask for your lighter back.
-
“I can’t fucking stand him!” You’re pacing Robin’s room back and forth while she watches with wide, deer in headlight eyes. “He has the fucking audacity to tell me my brother asked him to snitch? He really thought I’d believe that?” You turn to Robin, and she gapes at you. “Hello?”
“What? Oh, sorry. I don’t know, Bee! Think about it. Chris took Ed under his wing. They did everything together.”
“Yeah, you think I don’t know that?”
She shrugs. “I’m just saying, it’s a valid reason to hate him. He was treated more like Chris’s blood than you were sometimes. But, I dunno, I don’t think Eddie would lie. Not to you.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
Robin sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose. “God, it’s kinda crazy that you can’t see it. The way that kid used to follow you around like a lost puppy, the way he still looks at you now.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” You’re in no headspace to consider what she’s saying, not after what you learned today.
“Please, Bee! He had no fucking reason to take care of you. He wanted to.”
You groan, flopping back onto her bed. “I don’t trust him. I can’t.”
“Yeah, it’s him you can’t trust.”
You sit with it, let it eat you alive, but you don’t respond.
-
Steve arrives at his and Robin’s shared apartment with pizza an hour later, and offers both of you a fancy IPA that’s supposed to “enhance the flavors of the sauce.” You snort at his pretentious delivery, but accept the drink anyway.
“What did I miss?” He flops down on the couch between you and Robin, remote aimed at the television.
“Nothing much, Bee just learned some very earth shattering news.”
“What?” Steve whips his head in your direction, eyes frantic. “What god awful thing did she tell you about me.”
Robin snorts. “Dingus, relax. Not everything is about you!”
You snicker, and pry a piece of pizza from the box, cheese stretching across the table. “But now I wanna know what would make you this nervous if she did tell me!” You fold the pie before cramming a bite into your mouth.
“No, we’re not changing the subject. What happened?”
You glare at Robin for bringing it up. Steve has a tendency to worry when things aren’t all sunshine and rainbows with his friends. He knows you and Eddie aren’t close, but he appreciates your mutual ability to remain civil. “Robin thinks Eddie has a thing for me.”
“Eddie definitely has a thing for you.” Steve says without missing a beat, unfazed by the bomb he’s dropping on your head.
“What?”
“What? Is this not common knowledge? I’ve known for, like, months. I dunno if it’s a crush, per se, but there’s… something. You can’t tell me you had no idea.”
You definitely did not have any idea. “You’re fucking with me. You have to be, that doesn’t make any goddamn sense! He treats me like shit, like I’m the most annoying person on the planet. He never invites me to hang out with you guys, we haven’t hung out alone in, like, six years. You're making shit up.” You cross your arms, waiting for the argument that doesn’t come.
Steve shrugs. “He knows you don’t like him. Or, he thinks you don’t. I know better.” Steve winks at you, and you stick your tongue at him. “He’ll probably never admit it, but if you just pay the smallest bit of attention to the way he acts around you, you’ll get it.” Robin nods in agreement, like she’s known this all along.
“You guys are traitors!” You groan, taking another messy bite of pizza. “Can’t believe my best friends are telling me the most dreadful news possible right now.”
“Oh relax, drama queen. It could be worse, I could tell you all the things he’s told me about you in middle school.”
Your eyes feel like they pop out of your head. “What the fuck did he tell you?!”
Robin giggles. “Don’t worry about it!”
You flip her off, and she throws her head back, cackling.
—
The Hideout is dead. It’s a weeknight, and the only people at the joint are the same five drunks you’ve grown quite fond of over the last few years. There’s Samuel, a construction worker that’s been on the same job for the last two years with almost nothing to show for it; Jack, the executive supervisor of some uppity tech business in Indianapolis that’s yelling on the phone outside most of the time; Suzette, who comes in on Sundays to watch the game, and Mike and Mark, the old gay couple that tip you really well and call you Dolly.
“More Jack, Jack?” Your perky disposition makes the suit smile ever so slightly.
“Make it a double, darlin’.” He jabs the END button on his cell grumpily, and you pour his whiskey neat into a fresh glass.
You’re about to ask him what’s got him upset, he usually isn’t here during this late, when the door swings open with a creak, barely drowned out by the song blaring over the speakers, one you’d chosen to let off some steam that is very quickly finding its way back.
It’s as if the universe is out to get you. Eddie holds the door open for his date, a date that is certainly not Chrissy Cunningham. This girl looks more like Morticia Addams and a tattoo machine had a baby, and you wonder if this was who Robin had been referring to. She’s stunning, covered neck to toe in intricate ink you could play iSpy with. Her hair is long, dark, and silky, swaying down to her butt. Did this woman lose a bet? Why is she here with him?
He catches you staring and has the audacity to wink at you, pulling a chair out for Morticia. You quickly avert your eyes, suddenly fascinated with the stains on the bar. It’s not two minutes later that you feel his presence in front of you.
“Hey, Tw- Bee. Funny seeing you here.”
You don’t respond to his attempt at conversation. “What do you want?” You deadpan, trying to keep your expression blank. Uninterested. Cold.
“I’ll have a beer, Red Stripe if you got it. The lady wants a martini, extra dry.”
“‘Course she does.” You think you say it quiet enough, but the tilt of his head tells you otherwise.
“What’s got your panties in a bunch, Princess?”
“What? Nothing! She just looks like the type, y’know? Fancy.” You cringe. Luckily, Eddie doesn’t seem to notice.
“She’s so cool, right? Name’s Macy. Met her at a gig.”
“Uh huh. Here,” You hand him his drinks. “Would you like to open a tab?”
“Nah, this is only our first stop.” He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. “And, no offense, this isn’t really an ideal date spot.”
His words knock your brain around. “Date, huh?” The words catch in your throat. “I didn’t think Eddie Munson went on dates.”
Eddie falters, but recovers quickly. “I’m full of surprises, Sweets.” He slides the drinks off the bar, slapping a 20 on the table. “Keep the change. See ya ‘round.” He kisses the air in your direction, and your fist clenched tightly around the soda gun. You spray yourself in the face with club soda, and grit your teeth to keep from screaming.
—
Your shift is crawling by, your only company until eleven being the cook and the seven patrons, two of which you’ve been staring daggers at for the last hour. Someone has queued a slew of slow, sad songs and you have a suspicion Suzette is still sulking about the Colts’ loss.
Eddie and Macy are lost in conversation. He’s staring at her with a stupid, lovesick expression you wish you could slap off his face. She seems enamored, sipping her second martini without ever breaking eye contact with him. It drives you up the wall. As if hearing your silent prayers, Eddie pushes from the table, and holds out Macy’s coat for her to slip her slender arms into. He slips his own leather clad arm around her waist and make their way to the door. You’re almost at ease, finally, but he stops abruptly and pivots on his heel, coming right at you.
“Hey,” He calls, leaning over the bar as you whip around, busying yourself organizing the fridge. “Can I ask you something?”
“You just did.” You don’t turn around, stacking used glasses on the dish rack.
“Can I ask the front of you something?” His voice is teasing. You turn back to face him, finding his face far too close to yours. Behind him, Macy’s tapping her foot in annoyance by the door.
“Make it quick, you're keeping her waiting.” You nod in her direction, but he brushes it off.
“You ever… think about what could have happened? Y’know, with us? If things were different, I mean.” You can smell the beer on his breath, he’s so close.
You shrug. “Not really, no.”
His face falls for a fraction of a second before he recovers, stoic.
“Right, yeah. ‘Course not. See ya, Bee.” He waves weakly, then steps forward to hold the door for Macy, disappearing into the Autumn night and leaving your brain feeling like TV static.
—
You get home around 3am, dragging your sore feet over the threshold with a heavy groan. The apartment is quiet, save for the gym of the TV coming from Chris’s makeshift bedroom in the den. He’s out like a light, snoring obnoxiously as reruns of The Simpsons flash multicolored across his face. You tiptoe past him, into your room where you all but collapse on top of your bed, still fully clothed. Eddie’s question plays on repeat in your head, much to your frustration. Why does he even care if you think about him? Why would he ask you that?
You’re pondering whether to tell Steve when your phone starts ringing.
You can’t hide the exhaustion, wishing you could just curl up and pass out. Steve knows you’re awake, knows you just got home. “Hey, Stevie.”
“Hey, Bee. You okay?” Worry laces your friend’s voice.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”
He hesitates, you can hear his breath stutter into the receiver. “Well, I got a cryptic text from Eddie. He told me he did something stupid, was wondering if you had a clue what he was talking about?”
You roll onto your back, groaning into the phone. “Is this really that important right now? Eddie’s dramatic, we know this. He didn’t do anything worth panicking over.”
“But he did do something?”
“Ugh, no! He was drunk. Asked me if I ever thought about him, if we could be friends I guess.”
“And what’d you say?”
“I was honest. I said no.”
“Shit, Bee. That’s cold.”
“What, should I have lied? Told him we could’ve been best friends if he hadn’t snitched on my brother?”
There’s a lilt in Steve’s voice. “Is that a lie?”
You bite your lip, thinking. Maybe you and Eddie could’ve been friends, but there’s no use dwelling on it. “No, it’s not. I don’t like to live my life through what ifs.”
“Okay. I get it. I mean, I get what you’re saying. I get his worry too, though.”
You roll your eyes despite his inability to see you. “Okay, Steve. It’s late. I’m gonna go to bed.”
“Yeah, alright. Sweet dreams, Bee.”
“‘Night, Stevie.” You click the END button and place your phone on the nightstand. After a struggle to get up, you quickly change into your pajamas, swearing you’ll shower in the morning, before flopping back into bed.
—
#st#fics#munson#eddie munson#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x oc#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x y/n#fem!reader#mean!eddie munson#angst#slow burn#enemies to lovers#hurt/comfort#sdf#modern au#strangerthingscentral
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a year and a day
Everyone knows that if you want to make a deal, you go to Eddie Munson.
Desperate to be rid of Jason once and for all, Chrissy makes a deal with the local demon. The consequences are…not what she expected. A story of friendship, love, and paying one’s debts.
Chapters: 1/13 Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Relationship: Chrissy Cunningham/Eddie Munson Tags: Alternate Universe - No Upside Down, Demon Deals, POV Chrissy Cunningham, Friendship, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Romance, Found Family, Roommates, Domestic Fluff, 1990s, Caretaking, Pining
Chapter One: June
Everyone knows that if you want to make a deal, you go to Eddie Munson.
---
It takes until the rehearsal, when Jason says, “I do” with a look on his face of complete and utter triumph, that Chrissy realizes, quite suddenly, that she doesn’t think she wants to do this.
“And do you, Chrissy Elizabeth Cunningham,” the pastor drones in the echoing hall of the church, “take this man, Jason Harrison Carver, to be your wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death do you part?”
She’d told him she didn’t want obey in the vows. He’d argued that it was traditional, and he wanted to get married with the same vows both of their parents had.
“Angel. Chrissy.”
Chrissy swallows hard, words sticking in her throat as Jason prompts her. The smile on his face doesn’t disappear, but his eyes grow flinty. His hands start to hurt on hers.
“I…” she manages with a wince, but the rest still refuses to come out.
“Chrissy!” her mother hisses from the front pew; her face, when Chrissy glances over, is rapidly turning the color of the inside of a watermelon. Her father looks uneasy, and her brother is glancing between all of the adults with confusion written all over his face.
Jason turns his broad, All-American grin on the pastor and says in a jocular tone, “A little nervous. All brides are, right? Excuse us for a moment.”
He drags her into the storage room off the side of the hall, where boxes of communion wafers and industrial-sized pallets of juice crowd the walls.
“What the hell, Chris?” he demands, shutting the door with a small slam that belies the calm he’d been showing to the others.
“I—I’m not sure that…” Chrissy winces again, tugging at her hand. “Jason, stop. That hurts.”
He doesn’t let go. His grip only grows tighter, squeezing until it feels like her bones are grinding against one another.
“What the hell do you mean, not sure? We’ve been waiting for this for four years. I’ve been waiting for you for four damn years,” he hisses, conveniently ignoring the fact that, while he was ‘waiting,’ he’d enjoyed the company of all kinds of other women. He hadn’t exactly made a secret of it, calling on the phone only a few months into her freshman year to confess and announce all in one breath that a guy has needs, Chrissy, angel; you understand.
Chrissy had been more discreet about her own needs, though she hadn’t allowed herself to give much thought as to why she’d kept it from Jason.
“I know,” Chrissy says. “I know that, it’s just—I really don’t like the vows, Jason. I told you that.”
He scoffs. His blonde hair is perfectly parted, not one strand out of place. He has a Ken-doll perfection that she’d always found appealing, but now it’s at odds with the puce color he’s gaining in his face.
“It’s just words, Chrissy. I told you we should do the traditional ones and you agreed!”
“No,” she says, “I didn’t. Words matter, Jason, and—”
“Why does it matter?” he interrupts, stepping closer still. Her wrist and hand are aching; his cologne, usually pleasant, begins to make her nauseous as he puts every inch of their height difference toward making her feel small. “You and me, we’ve always been on the same page. It shouldn’t be a big deal.”
“If I’m going to promise something, I want to feel comfortable with it—”
“Then hurry up and get comfortable,” Jason snaps. “They’re the vows we’re using. I’m the man, and you’re the wife, and this is what we’ve been waiting all this time for.”
In the traditional vows, the man doesn’t vow to obey the woman. He promises instead to worship her. It sounds laughable to her now. Vow or no vow, he’ll never worship her.
Chrissy looks into the eyes of Jason Carver, the man she’d said yes to four years ago when it had felt romantic to promise her future to her high school boyfriend.
Even knowing they’d have to spend the majority of her undergraduate degree states apart, she’d felt so adult and worldly, going off to college engaged. True, they’d talked less and less as the semesters progressed—they’d talked on the phone every week, at first, and then every other, and then once a month until they only spoke when they saw each other in Hawkins on school breaks.
But Chrissy’s future marriage to Jason was part of the facts of her universe: psych paper due on Tuesday, and she’s going to marry Jason after graduation. Avoid the inedible dining hall meatloaf, and she’s going to marry Jason after graduation. Bring James or Brian or Katie home for the night, and she’s going to marry Jason after graduation.
It was so inevitable a truth that it seemed inconsequential, the way you know an orange falling from a tree will land on the ground but you’re hardly going to worry about gravity.
Until you’re the one falling, that is. And that’s what it had felt like, ever since graduation. Chrissy had come back to Hawkins and squeezed herself into her old life like it was a dress a size too small—church on Sundays, stingy dinner plates and comments about the freshman fifteen, wet mouth on her neck and a cool, clammy hand clamped possessively around hers—and spent the last month feeling that sickening rush in her stomach. Like she’d been on an elevator falling from the hundredth floor, waiting for impact.
In the space of a single breath, Chrissy finally understands why.
She can’t marry him.
But when she looks into the eyes of Jason Carver, sees the rage narrowing them and feels the punishing grip his fist still has around hers, she knows, deep in her bones, that he’ll never let her go.
“You’re right,” Chrissy says eventually, the words tasting sour. “I’m just…nervous. But you’re right. We’ve been waiting a long time for this.”
“Good. Jeez, Chris. Couldn’t you have gotten the hysterics over with before the damn rehearsal? What, are you PMSing or something?” Jason grumbles, but his hackles are coming down and his grip is growing looser.
She bites her tongue, then makes herself say, “Maybe that’s it. It is close to that time of the month.”
He grimaces, then pulls her back toward the door. “Come on. You’ve already caused a scene; let’s get this done.”
Bracing herself with a deep, silent breath while his back is turned, Chrissy goes back out into the church, pastes a smile on her face in front of the pastor, and says, “I do.”
Then, as the rehearsal wraps up and their families filter out of the church to drive to Enzo’s for the dinner, she places her right hand on Jason’s shoulder and murmurs in his ear.
“I think you were right about the PMS. I’m having a feminine issue,” Chrissy tells him. Her hand is still red; the marks will deepen to a bruise by tomorrow. “I need to run to the store for some stuff. Drop me off and I’ll meet you at Enzo’s?”
He rolls his eyes and tugs her up against him for a kiss. “Told you. Hurry up, Chris.”
She smiles at him, pecks him on the lips one more time. “I will.”
On the street a block over from Melvald’s, Chrissy shuts the passenger door and waves cheerfully as he drives on, then walks down the sidewalk toward the cross street that would take her to the general store. She listens to the roar of the engine, the gradual dissipation of sound as Jason drives the opposite direction to Enzo’s.
The second she rounds the corner, she’s running for the woods.
[click here to read the rest of chapter one on ao3]
#hellcheer fic#hellcheer fanfic#eddissy fic#eddissy fanfic#hellcheer#stranger things#enoughtotemptme writes fic#yes hello it's been a while here is a story#i have been working on this for LITERAL years#yes eddie is a demon no not much else has changed#over two years ago the very first line popped into my head and then this happened
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Inconvenience | g.clarke
Chapter 4: Tough Day
Summary: The boys try and help Noa with a new project
Word Count: 1.2k+
Warnings: swearing, George being a dick (again)
Roughly a week or so had passed since Noa moved into her new apartment, and her hopes that George would warm up to her hadn’t been achieved yet.
Even though she spent most evenings with the boys, he would still only talk to her if the others were there, and whenever he could he avoided her at all costs.
It was beginning to bother Noa. She couldn’t understand why he was acting this way towards her, and after thorough discussions with his other roommates, they confirmed that she hadn’t done or said anything to cause this behaviour.
Luckily, Arthur Hill and her got on like a house on fire, and being one of the better housemates at DIY, he aided in building most of her new furniture whenever he wasn’t recording a video or working on his new song.
“So when’s it coming out? I feel as if I can only listen to the same sound bite before I go crazy.” Noa said, glancing up from her laptop to look at Arthur, who was sitting on her kitchen counter.
“Should be done in a couple of weeks, just trying to iron out the wrinkles and sort the bridge out.” He replied, taking a long swig of tea out of the mug that she had leant him. “What are you working on? I feel as I can hear your brain whirring.”
Noa grumbled and massaged her temples. It was moments like these that she wished she had an influencer job, with complete creative freedom and a flexible schedule, instead of her gruelling 9-6. “Trying to find as many different types of ancient column design as possible. Well, not too ancient because the clients want their building to look modern enough.”
Arthur gave her a sympathetic look. “You really are bottom of the food chain in your firm aren’t you?”
“Yep. That’s what you get when you’re the new kid, all the tasks that no one else wants.”
“But at least you’re not having to make coffee and do paperwork right?” He asked hopefully.
Noa raised her eyebrows at him. “Why do you think I’m having to do this at home, and not in the office.”
“Ah.”
“Ah indeed.” She muttered, scrolling through another page of Grecian inspired pillars. “Honestly, sometimes rich people have too much money to spend. I mean, who needs a foyer with the three types of alternating pillars, that match the fountains? Do you know how expensive that is Arthur?”
He winced. “I’m guessing a lot.”
“Correct.”
“Noa!” Chris yelled, swinging the door open. “You, me, George and the two Arthurs and the club. Yes?”
“Chris, it’s a Thursday night.”
“Exactly! Thursday night, do you have anything better to do?”
Noa blinked at him. “Be up in the morning with ample amount of sleep ready for work?”
“God I forget you have a boring actual job.”
“Someone has to remind you guys there’s an actual world out there.” She muttered, typing quickly on her computer, eyes widening as her stomach let out a low growl.
Chris and Arthur slowly turned their heads to look at her. “Okay, new plan. Order takeout and watch a movie?”
“I could be up for that.” She said quietly, absentmindedly chewing on the end of her pen, before going to jot down some notes. “Just need to finish working.”
Chris’ eyebrows raised. “And when will that be?”
“Before the end of time.” Noa said. “Or at least I hope so. I’ve gotta figure out the best combination of these pillars and then I’ll be done.”
“And how many combinations are there?”
“Well there’s eight main types, but then there’s different patterns within those. I might have actually lost count.”
Chris moved so that he could peer over Noa’s shoulder, and winced at the number of tabs open she had on her computer, as well as the scribbles that adorned her notebook.
“Gonna be honest. I’ve got no clue at what looks good. But I believe in you Noa, if anyone could figure it out it’s you.” He said reassuringly, patting her head. “Right, Hill let’s order food, at this point in time Noa will probably eat whatever we put in front of her, so what are we feeling up for?”
arthurhill
liked by arthurtv, maxbalegde and 28,039 others
arthurhill everyone drop your favourite pillars and columns to help with Noa’s latest design
Comments open
fan1 everyone knows the correct answer is doric
⮑ fan2 booo temple of winds supremacy
maxbalegde scared and confused at this comment section
⮑ noamurphy they’re all just architecture nerds like me
arthurtv correct answer is ionic
⮑ noamurphy no it isn’t I promise
⮑ arthurtv one day you’ll see
⮑ noamurphy sure. also we’re getting take out if you wanna join
⮑ arthurtv I am running to the elevator
fan3 noa in the ikea vlog is everything 😫🤌🤌🤌
⮑ fan4 she is a divine queen
⮑ fan3 her and George in the bed 🤌🤌
⮑ fan4 nooo that was the most forced and uncomfortable thing I couldn’t with it-
gkbarry_ we stan a hardworking queen
⮑ noamurphy love you boo
⮑ gkbarry_ okay now girlie take a break
“Okay Noa, maybe take Grace’s advice and stop? Surely it would be better to rest up and then be able to finish it when you’re not exhausted?” Chris asked gently, reaching to slide the laptop away from her grip.
Noa glared at him and swatted his hands away. “No Christopher. No.”
Chris gave her a stern look, only looking away when the door slammed open again, revealing Arthur Television in his pyjama trousers and hoodie. “Food, when?”
“The one with the law degree decides to speak like a caveman.” Chris muttered, shaking his head, as a much calmer George walked through the door.
Walking into her apartment, George was hit with the realisation that he’d never been in Noa’s apartment before - she’d always been at theirs, or if Chris and Arthur where heading down he’d give the excuse that he was busy planning videos.
He was pleasantly surprised. Well, he didn’t exactly know what to expect, but it definitely wasn’t a light and airy apartment. Maybe he thought there would be neon lights everywhere, like the ones that adorned Chris’ room or stacks of books like Arthur.
The living room was cosy, and he recognised the two sofas that they had picked out in Ikea, as well as a plush rug, with a coffee table that matched the dining table and chairs. A couple of pictures adorned the walls, a simple beach watercolour as well as some cinematic shots of her playing football with Arthur and Chris.
His brow furrowed. Neither of them mentioned that she played, and since she’d arrived they had filmed a football video for Chris’ channel, but she didn’t take part. Surely if Noa was good enough to warrant her to have photos of her playing, then surely Chris would want that talent in his videos?
George cast his eyes to Noa, who was hunched over her laptop, still trying to finish the designs. Arthur TV sat next to her, and the pair were discussing which column designs worked the best together.
“Maybe that person was onto something bringing temple of winds into the conversation…what if you put them with some Doric pillars, then…” Arthur trailed off, stumped.
“You see? Finding two designs that go together is easy, but a third? A fucking third?” Noa sighed, resting her head on the keyboard.
“How rich are the clients, ie, what’s the budget?”
“Yeah, are they Ronaldo rich, or so rich that you’ve probably never heard of them?” Arthur Hill asked.
“The second one.” She muttered. “Which is why it has to be perfect, because they are paying us a lot.”
Noa sighed and pulled up the designs of the fountains that had been chosen. She studied them meticulously, trying to find a hint that could help her. Even though it was strenuous work, this was one of the reasons that loved designing buildings, once you found all the right pieces, it perfectly fell into place like a puzzle. It was incredibly satisfying, and seeing the final projects always made her heart swell with pride.
But this was really trying her patience. Why couldn’t she figure it out? It didn’t also help that she had a live audience watching her stress over it. “Do you know when the food’s getting here?”
“Should be about five minutes.”
“Thank god.”
“Oh never mind, the guys here.” Chris said, slipping his shoes on, that had been previously abandoned by the door. “Arthur can you help carry it?”
“Sure.” Both of them replied, following Chris out of the door, leaving George alone with Noa.
She was silently cursing the three that had just left, physically wishing all the curses and ailments upon them for leaving her with George. Who, was silently leaning against her kitchen counter.
George didn’t know what to do. Ever since the trip to Ikea he hadn’t been close to Noa again, not that he wanted to, but he wasn’t sure if he should mention it. Why should he? If she hadn’t mentioned it then surely she was fine, right?
Not that he even wanted to talk to her.
George couldn’t fully see into Noa’s room, most is it being blocked by the angle at which he was looking in, and from what he could tell, it was just like the rest of the apartment, except with more decorations. He wasn’t sure why, but he was curious about what was inside, how Noa had organised her bookcase, what perfumes she used, how she kept her jewellery, the way her plans laid out on her sketching desk.
And he didn’t know why.
As far as he was concerned he actively disliked Noa, and so he couldn’t fathom why a part of him was so interested in her, why he wanted to know the little details of her life.
Noa closed her eyes. She was genuinely considering giving up, but she knew she couldn’t. This had to be finished that evening so that it could be sent to her supervisor ready for the next morning. Pushing her chair back, she stood up and paced into her bedroom, unknown to her that George’s eyes followed her every step, hoping that one of her books would provide her with some inspiration.
But it wasn’t any of her architecture books that caught her eye. It was the battered copy of the third Percy Jackson book - it was her favourite of the series, and would read it religiously as a child. Partially, as a child it was her dream to become a Hunter of Artemis, and so she could read the book over and over again without tiring of it.
Somehow, this was the prompt she needed to let the puzzle pieces fall into place. “OH MY GOD!” She exclaimed, sprinting out of her room and skidding on the wooden floor to the table. Noa grinned whilst nearly destroying her keyboard at how quickly she was typing.
“FOOOOD!” Chris called, carrying the plastic bags and setting them down in front of Noa.
“Dude give me two minutes I’ve figured it out.”
“Really?” Arthur TV asked excitedly, pulling the chair next to her out, so he could see what she was working on. “Caryatids? Noa that’s genius! They match the f-“
“Fountains yeah, because they’ve got marble women carved into them, and so they’d match perfectly.”
“Have we ever said you’re a genius?” Chris asked, smiling proudly at her.
“Only when I do genius shit.”
#arthur frederick#arthur hill#chris dixon#chris md#george clarke fics#george clarke imagine#george clarkey#george clarkey x reader#uk youtubers#youtube
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Crystal Bird - Chapter 3
Crown Prince! Chan x Princess (fem.) Genre: Royal au! Angst, Romance, Historical, hidden identity, slow-burn Warnings: mentions of blood, war, death, cursing, parental abuse, somewhat proofread WC: 5.4k A/N: Finally time skip! Based on a dream. Feedback is always welcome, enjoy! ── MASTERLIST
Synopsis: The Crown Prince is saved by the Princess of a rival kingdom, and he swears his second life to his savior. A forbidden friendship no one knew of, grows deeper with every secret meeting. As the two are kept apart, memories of their sunset playdates by the serene river, begin blossoming into something beautiful. Cheeks blushed, stomach butterflies fluttered at the thought of each other. Years of yearning and imagining had only made them crave a sweeter reunion. And finally meeting at a Royal banquet, he could only stare at the now grown Princess, taken by her beauty, while she only watches as he gives his heart to the wrong princess.
Missed a chapter? - Prologue / Chapter 1 / Chapter 2
CHAPTER 3 ───────────────────
The West Wing Palace, assigned to the King’s mistress, hummed with activity as servants and housekeepers prepared for the imminent return of their second princess. Y/N, once a timid but curious little girl, had blossomed into a confident young woman, meeting her mother’s aspirations despite her lower status within the rungs of the royal family.
Years of tedious lessons, etiquette, politics, piano forte, dancing, had shaped both Princesses, forging a bond between the sisters that only grew stronger with time. And being close to the first princess brought attention to the second princess who not many knew existed, a fact that pleased Lady Katherine immensely.
The Royal carriage returning from Melgarde Estate passed the familiar path that led to the palace. Sienna noticed Y/N’s distant demeanor as they rolled past the majestic Grand Forest. The latter’s eyes followed through the crack of the carriage curtains, even until the greenery of the forest was no longer in view.
“Is everything quite well, Y/N?” Sienna’s voice was gentle, pulling Y/N out of her thoughts with a small, forced smile.
“I’m fine, Sister. It just…feels surreal being back home after such a long time.” Y/N replied wistfully.
Sienna peered out from behind the curtains, excitement evident on her face.
“It’s been even longer for me. I’m nervous but also eager to hear about our childhood spent here.” She grinned widely, excitement bubbling in her eyes.
Y/N returned a smile, though it failed to reach her eyes.
Back in Melgarde, Y/N often found herself lost in thoughts of the Grand Forest, thoughts of Chan, her childhood friend who had vanished from her life. Without saying any goodbyes, without meeting one last time like he promised. She used to visit their old meeting spots during those final days of that summer, had returned on last time even, a couple years ago. Hoping against hope to catch a glimpse of him and his trademark smile. However Chan never returned, and her mind weighed down by unanswered questions and a persistent longing.
She wondered if he ever thought of her as she did of him.
But thought was an understatement.
Chris dreamt of her.
In the solitude of the Northern White Mountains, Chris’ thoughts often drifted to his Princess.
The Princess who’s name he didn’t know. Curse his foolish younger self.
He cherished memories of laughter, secrets, and dreams of a meeting openly. His fingers would unconsciously clutch the crystal bird around his neck, a constant reminder. It was the only thing that kept him sane in the harsh conditions he endured, a link to that childish part of him that he swore not to lose.
Life in the north was grueling, far from the pampered existence he had known. Yet oddly, Chris found solace in the transformation he underwent, shedding his former weaknesses and embracing the resilience demanded by his new life.
The Crown Prince was anything but a scrawny young boy.
He grew stronger, both physically and emotionally, driven by the hope that one day he would return to his role as crown prince. Return to his Princess’ side even.
How can such a short friendship take over such a large part of his thoughts?
But Chris knew, somewhere along the way, his dreams of his Princess evolved from just fond reminiscence into a deep yearning and longing that he could only describe as love. In the quiet moments beneath the northern skies, Chris acknowledged that what he felt for his Princess transcended mere friendship.
Chris often wondered if his Princess felt the same pull, if she harbored feelings for him beyond their childhood friendship. He imagined their reunion, envisioning the moment he would see her again. Hoping that his transformation into a resilient and capable man would earn her admiration and affection. Unaware the two of them were two sides of the same coin.
Chris sighed softly. Here he was, thinking about her again.
Still, his gaze followed the white hare that distracted him, darting through the snowy forest. There’s a twinkle in his eyes as memories of the critters of the Grand Forest flooded his mind.
The snap of a branch jolted him back to the present, refocusing his attention on the task at hand.
The winters of the White Mountains were always the worst. The weather had always been cold, snow never a new thing for the inhabitants who lived by the Northern borders. But the winters were a whole different story. The harsh season brought stinging snowstorms. When everything froze over, supplies ran low, people began getting sick, and attacks from both wild creatures and bandits increased. The warriors of the north, stood up to protect.
In these harsh conditions, where survival depended on resourcefulness and endurance, the villages nestled among the peaks and valleys thrived in their own way. Known across the kingdom for their expertise in herbal lore, they harvest rare medicinal plants that flourished in the icy mountains and snow-ridden forests. Potions and remedies, crafted with meticulous care with those rare herbs, were lifelines during the long, bitter months when illness and scarcity loomed large. Chris’ days were marked by rigorous training, mastering warrior tactics under the strict watch of Commander Seo. And the study of herbalism, under the tutelage of village elders with wisdom passed down through generations.
But this snowy, rugged and unforgiving terrain was also the place the warrior prince despised. In the center of the snow-ridden region, the Prince spent his formative years training, growing, pining.
Sharp eyes, sharp as the winter’s chill, scanned the tranquil forest, the twinkle from spotting the white hare, long gone. His face partly obscured by a wool mask, shielding him from the biting wind that swept through the towering pines. In his hands, a long bow was held with practiced ease, an arrow nocked and ready, poised for action. But the familiar tranquility of the landscape was broken by the voice of his loyal guard, Han, cutting through the stillness. The snow crunched loudly, his voice even louder.
“Did you find it, Chris?”
The guard’s voice echoes in the silence of the snow-ridden forest, startling a nearby caribou into flight.
“Yeah, there it goes.” Chris grunted, turning to fix a stern gaze on Han.
Han chuckled sheepishly, pulling down his own mask to reveal a face that had matured into a striking countenance, handsome and framed by a boyish smile. Despite the passage of time, his eyes still retained a youthful curiosity, wide with wonder at the natural world around them.
The sound of snow crunching under Prince Christopher’s boots echoed softly in the crisp air, his fur-lined cape trailing behind him. The snowfall had eased since the fierce blizzard of the previous night, allowing him to resume his archery practice undisturbed.
“Well, spit it out already.” Chris remarked tersely, his focus unwavering on the bow and arrow in his hands, knowing full well that Han hadn’t come all this way in the snow to just chase away his game.
“A letter from the castle has arrived. From the King.” Han responded cautiously, the playful smile no longer evident on his face.
Chris’ eyes narrowed slightly at the mention of his father’s message.
“They want you to return.” Han reiterated solemnly, observing his prince’s stoic demeanor.
Finally, Chris thought.
The call to fulfill his royal duties was always anticipated. He would have returned to take his seat one day or another. Yet his thoughts wandered to the verdant embrace of the Grand Forest, its lush greenery a stark contrast to the snow-covered landscape that surrounded him. Amidst the thoughts of duty and homecoming, one image shone brightest in his mind—his Princess. He instinctively touched the crystal bird pendant hanging from his neck. Yet again. The night enveloped the training hall with a brisk chill, yet within its confines, the warmth of brotherhood among warriors lit up a small room. Commander Seo’s youngest son, Changbin, broke the quietude with a hearty laugh, reminiscing about their youth.
“It feels like just yesterday you arrived here, barely able to swing a sword.” Changbin’s laughter echoed through the cabin.
“It’s been ten years, believe me.” Han groaned, hurriedly packing his meager belongings.
Changbin lounged on a cot, eyeing the packed trunk of Han and the still-empty one belonging to Chris.
“Will you even have space for all that?” He quipped, nodding toward the corner where a haphazard pile of gifts lay. A testament to Chris’ popularity among the village women, though the man never paid them any attention.
Chris, still focused on the letter from the King, seemed distant. Changbin glanced at him curiously before remarking, “Has he swore an oath of abstinence, or does he not fancy women?”
Chris’ ears perk at the ridiculous conversation happening between his friends.
“I'm not sure about abstinence. But he’s only got one lady who runs on his mind most hours of the day.” Han, ever the mediator, interjected.
“It’s as if I’m not sitting right here.” Chris’ voice cut through the room, drawing attention back to him.
Turning away from the letter in his hand, Chris faced the warriors with a wry smile, the two stifling their laughter.
“I haven’t sworn off women, if you must know.” His brow raised.
Changbin’s laughter filled the air once more as Han rummaged through the gifts, checking for any edible treats that both he and Changbin might have overlooked.
Setting aside his letter, Chris began packing his belongings into the trunk, his movements purposeful and efficient.
“Are you joining us?” He inquired, as Changbin took a swig of ale.
“Not yet. I’ll follow shortly.” Changbin replied casually, wiping his lips with the back of his sleeve.
Chris nodded thoughtfully, leaning back against his desk.
“It would’ve been nice to travel together. I wanted to show you the places I ventured out to as a child.”
Changbin’s eyebrows raised mischievously. “Including your special lady?”
Chris’ hand unconsciously gripped the crystal bird around his neck. Han intervened with a grin.
“I’m sure even he would like to meet her. You’ll have to wait.”
Changbin rolled his eyes playfully, settling back into the cot.
“Once I secure my place as the next commander, I’ll make my journey. You’ll have Han and Minho to keep you entertained on the way back.”
“You say that like Minho talks.” Han retorted, crossing his arms.
“Well, you’ll fill his silence. You’re a chatterbox anyways.” Changbin teased, catching an empty gift box thrown his way by Han.
“I’m sure he’s listening in on us right now.” Changbin mused, watching as Han’s head darted around the doors and windows of the cabin.
“Knock three times if you’re listening in.” Han addressed the air, a mischievous glint in his eye, before both warriors broke into hearty laughter
Chris smiled softly, observing the banter between his friends with fondness. Despite all the dislike he had for the cold mountains, he had formed deep bonds and cherished memories during his time in the village. As he prepared to leave, he couldn’t help but feel a twinge of nostalgia for the experiences that had shaped him in unexpected ways.
Yet, anticipation thrummed within him looking forward to his journey back to the castle that held memories of both grief and newfound love. Initially marked by sorrow after his mother’s death, the castle had later become a place of hope upon meeting his princess. Now, he feels ready to reclaim his position and the responsibilities that came with it.
Prince Christopher stood with both his hands. Han, his unwavering personal guard and closest confidant, beside him, and Minho, the silent leader of Chris’ Midnight Order, behind him.
The night air held a bittersweet quality. ─────────────────────── The journey back felt shorter than he remembered, with Chris traveling almost non-stop through the cold airs of the North. Finally returning to his once home, the castle where he was born and raised. Chris found himself surrounded by familiar corridors he once ran through, often chased by his mother. Memories flooded back, vivid and poignant. The garden where he sought solace after his mother’s passing stood unchanged, its blooms and foliage a testament to time’s gentle, yet relentless passage.
As Chris entered the castle that had been his world once upon a time, he couldn’t help but notice that despite the passage of years, not much had changed. While there were unfamiliar faces among the maids and servants, the essence of the castle remained unchanged. His thoughts were interrupted by the joyful voice of his younger cousin, calling out to him from the training grounds.
“Chris!” Prince Felix’s voice carries with the morning air, brimming with a blend of joy as he spots his elder cousin.
The younger prince jogs over, his actions garnishes attention from the maids and servants that had been passing through.
Chris turns swiftly, a broad smile spreading across his face as Felix approaches. He reaches out, affectionately tousling Felix’s hair.
“You’ve grown.” He remarks warmly, his eyes sparkling at the happiness in Felix’s gaze.
The last time Felix had managed to convince his father to send him to the White Mountains for training had been three years ago. It was a short visit, but also a means for the king to gauge his son’s progress in the demanding environment of elite warriors in the North.
“I have! But so have you.” Felix remarks, casting an appreciative glance over Chris’ toned physique, his training attire emphasizing his stature.
Then his eyes glance over at his cousin’s personal guard.
“How is it that you haven’t grown a single inch?” Felix queries with teasing curiosity, raising an eyebrow in playful concern.
Han, accustomed to Felix’s spirited nature, releases a slow, measured breath. While Prince Felix often appeared as a carefree young man, those who observed closely understood his latent potential. He trained rigorously, and was destined to lead the king’s guards one day, overshadowing even Captain Elliot in his keen-eyed determination. Despite his young age, Felix was a formidable training partner and an even stricter teacher. Had his father not remained a strong and determined warrior, Felix might have already ascended to the position of captain of the Solar Guards.
“Unfortunately, that is out of my control, your highness.” Han replies evenly, not entertaining Felix’s teasing. Though there is a smile lingering on his lips.
“Nightshade warriors don’t tend to grow very tall, I suppose.” Felix muses casually, his eyes flicking up to humorously assess his own height.
Chris laughs, the sound rich with affection and familiarity. He had missed Felix’s spirited presence and playful banter. It felt good to be back amidst the familiarity of the castle grounds.
But before they can delve further into their reunion, an attendant approaches the trio with a sense of urgency, interrupting the moment.
“The King has called for you Prince Christopher.” The attendant announces solemnly.
Ten years had passed since King Bahng had sent his son to the harsh Northern borders. Whispers of Chris’ return preceded him through the echoing corridors of the castle, where the very air seemed to hum with anticipation. Even before he reached the threshold of the King’s study, the murmurs of his arrival had spread like wildfire.
Back in the North, the young maidens had blushed at the mere mention of his name, their cheeks turning a delicate shade of pink whenever he passed. And such reactions followed here, mirrored by the young court ladies upon his arrival, their eyes betraying a mix of admiration and curiosity.
When the door creaked open, the Crown Prince entered to find the King scurrying over to him in excitement, a look similar to the one Felix had in his eyes. Despite the warmth in his father’s gaze, Chris couldn’t help but feel a clench in his heart at the flood of memories.
He masked his emotions well, standing tall as he approached the king’s desk, casting brief glances between the king, his advisor, and a maid who lingered nearby, tray in hand. The last time he stood in this exact spot, he had been on his knees, the weighty decisions that led to his exile to the White Mountains made in the heat of anger and concern. Though he harbored no resentment toward his father, Chris couldn’t quite bring himself to return the king’s embrace as the older man warmly wrapped his arms around him. He was certain that King Bahng noticed his stiffness, despite the outward appearance of cordiality.
“Welcome back, Prince Christopher!” King Bahng greeted warmly, his voice filled with paternal pride that momentarily eased the tension in the room.
The King’s hands gripped firmly at Chris’ muscular arms, a paternal gesture that conveyed both pride and concern. His fatherly gaze swept over Chris, taking in the man he had become during their time apart. A striking young man, a formidable Nightshade Warrior.
The prince dipped his head respectfully and withdrew slightly from the embrace.
“Thank you, Your Majesty.” He replied evenly, maintaining a polite distance.
The King sighed softly, feeling the weight of unspoken tensions between himself and his now-grown son. He cleared his throat and gestured to a servant girl who had been momentarily captivated by Chris’ presence, prompting her to swiftly withdraw after leaving a tray of snacks.
“You’ve definitely inherited your mother’s beauty.” The burly king chuckled fondly as he settled behind his desk, his expression softening.
“Indeed. Prince Felix finally has someone to rival him in beauty.” The King’s advisor chimed in lightly, breaking the tension with a jest.
Chris glanced between the two older men, his attention focusing back on his father. The passage of a decade had marked King Bahng with gray hair and new wrinkles that Chris hadn’t noticed before, a reminder of the years spent apart.
“Is there a task you have for me, Your Majes—” Chris began, only to be swiftly corrected by his father.
“Father,” King Bahng interjected firmly.
“...Father.” The son echoed, blinking in confusion but adjusting to the correction.
King Bahng leaned back in his seat, his advisor presenting an unsealed envelope.
“As I mentioned in my letter, there is unusual activity in the Elysium Kingdom.” The king explained, his tone becoming more serious.
Chris raised a curious brow. “What unusual activity?”
“A royal banquet.” The King revealed, prompting his aide to hand Chris the invitation.
“It’s the first time in decades we’ve received such an invitation.” King Bahng continued, while Chris read through the details.
“It’s going to be a grand affair, attended not only by aristocrats from all over the nation but also by foreign dignitaries from neighboring kingdoms—like us. The revelry will last for weeks apparently, celebrating god knows what.” King Bahng groaned, his skepticism evident.
Chris narrowed his gaze, sensing underlying motives behind the invitation.
“The celebrations are supposedly a gesture of goodwill and diplomacy.” King Bahng continued, “but knowing that sly Elysium King, there is surely something up his sleeve.”
“I want you, our Crown Prince, to go—”
“Yes, I’ll go.” Chris interrupted almost eagerly, surprising both his father and the aide.
The King shared a glance with his aid before he cleared his throat, momentarily taken aback by his son’s sudden enthusiasm.
“...Now that we’ve settled, you’ll join the envoy. I want you to uncover any underlying tensions.”
“I will follow your instructions, Your Maj—Father.” Prince Christopher affirmed with a nod.
“Prepare for your first official royal excursion. Remain vigilant, but remember your title of Crown Prince.”
Chris stood tall, yet his heart raced with anticipation. Upon his return, he pondered how he might encounter his princess, now fate had presented him with an opportunity to visit openly. Amidst the complexity of courtly life and royal duties, Chris was planning a separate quest, finally fulfilling a promise of a sweet, overdue reunion. ─────────────────────── “You’ve spent even more time at Melgarde Estate this time around, My lady.” The young maid brushed through Princess Y/N’s hair, her touch gentle and methodical.
Y/N, gazing at her reflection in the dresser mirror, offered a soft smile. “It will be Princess Sienna’s first official public appearance. The preparations for the upcoming events have been in the making for a long time.”
The maid, still fairly new to Y/N’s service, furrowed her brows as she worked through the princess’s hair.
“Isn’t it your first public appearance as well, Princess?” She asked, her fingers deftly plaiting Y/N’s hair.
Y/N blinked, realizing the truth in the maid’s observation. Despite assisting Sienna for months, she had hardly considered her own debut.
“You have also been preparing for this moment even before I was assigned to your side, my lady.” She added.
This young girl, who looked no older than sixteen or seventeen, spoke her words mindlessly, one of the reasons the second princess enjoyed keeping her to her side.
“That’s true, but it isn’t about me, Anna. After so long, our kingdom is finally hosting neighboring realms. Surely, it’s more than just our court debut.” As always, the sharp second princess was able to read between the lines.
“Of course.” Anna beamed, setting down the comb after settling the hair. “But there’s so much to celebrate.”
Indeed, there were festivities planned for the kingdom’s founding anniversary, the Crown Prince’s upcoming wedding, and even their own birthdays—a significant step into society for both sisters.
For the first time, Y/N’s upcoming birthday felt consequential. When her mother had sent word that the king planned to celebrate both princesses, she thought she had read wrong, or that her mother had miswritten. But once the preparations began, getting a better understanding of these upcoming festivities, she realized why she was also included.
It was all for show.
A show of unity to foreign envoys—a testament to the royal family’s close-knit bond.
Truly, her father was a king through and through to have even such details orchestrated meticulously. But Lady Katherine, reveled in the attention, basking in the limelight that her daughter’s impending debut brought, while her daughter Y/N prepared endlessly for the past year.
The sudden attention was unfamiliar to Y/N, who had never sought the spotlight. Now surrounded by attendants, a flurry of maids, and a personal knight who trailed behind her on her outings, standing at her door at night. As if she would be in any danger. Letters and invitations poured in from Melgarde and the Capital, young ladies eager to forge connections with her.
Sienna would watch her younger sister’s bewilderment as she stared at the letters addressed to her in confusion, giggling in amusement and teasing remarks, unaware of the diplomatic strategies the king played. But of course once Y/N learned of why she was suddenly receiving this special treatment, it squashed any misunderstandings, and despite her reservations, the second princess played her role dutifully. Although she could never get used to the constant presence of maidservants and attendants.
As Anna prepared Y/N’s bed for the night, Y/N watched her through the mirror with fondness. The young maid’s sincerity reminded her of the kitchen maids she had encountered during her escapades at Melgarde Estate. Their words were unfiltered, opinions laced as they expressed their thoughts.
“I’ll do some reading before turning in.” Y/N announced, rising from her stool and selecting a book from a stack on her writing table.
“My lady, you have an early morning ahead. Do you truly have time for leisurely reading tonight?” Anna asked, her arms crossed.
Y/N chuckled softly. “I’m not reading love stories.” She reassured Anna, picking up a book on foreign affairs.
“Just some last-minute studying.”
With an exasperated sigh, Anna conceded defeat and bid Y/N goodnight, nodding at the knight stationed outside the heavy doors. Alone at last, Y/N shed her night robe, trading the book on foreign affairs for a story that ignited a blush on her cheeks.
These books, introduced to her by a kitchen maid during one of her nights at Melgarde, fascinated Y/N. Initially skeptical, she found herself drawn to tales of forbidden love, secret rendezvous, and impassioned declarations. They stirred memories of a certain someone—a faceless figure from her past who lingered in her thoughts more often than she cared to admit.
The last time Y/N had returned briefly from Melgarde was after Sienna’s carriage accident, which had thrown the entire kingdom into turmoil a few years ago. While Sienna recuperated in the serene countryside of the Melgarde Estate, Y/N found herself back in the palace she had reluctantly left behind. This time, however, she was truly alone. The West Palace hummed with its usual activity, yet Y/N felt isolated in her grief.
The Grand Forest greeted her just as she remembered, tranquil and unchanged. The river murmured softly as it flowed, carrying memories of her happiest moments spent in its company. There were no signs of recent visitors. No sign that anyone had been there at all. And after she was called back to Sienna’s side, she did not return to the place that place by the river, truly abandoned.
“Chan…”
She often whispered his name in those rare moments of solitude, when the weight of her responsibilities threatened to overwhelm her. Alone in her chambers, as the bustle of courtly life beyond closed doors died down, Y/N found solace in memories of him. His warm hand holding hers, a gesture that once offered comfort and reassurance, now existed only in the recesses of her mind.
These days, her thoughts were consumed by the sudden duties and expectations that accompanied her newfound importance within the royal family. Yet, on nights like these, when she finally retreated to the sanctuary of her chambers, Y/N sought refuge in her books, her love-stories.
Stories of forbidden love, clandestine meetings, and unspoken desires. Stories that made her think of Chan.
Seated by the dim glow of her bedside lamp, Y/N traced the lines of the romantic narratives that made her stomach tingle. Words of longing and passion evoked vivid memories of Chan, whose image in her mind was shaped more by his essence than his appearance. Had he grown into the handsome young man he had promised to become that one time? She couldn’t say for certain, but the thought of him alone was enough to stir emotions and memories of stolen glances and whispered confidences beneath the shade of trees.
In the quiet of her chambers, surrounded by the scent of parchment of her novels, she allowed herself to dream of a future where their paths might cross once more. Then she would decide if he had indeed grown to be as handsome as he claimed he would. As the young maid had forewarned, the next morning unfolded with a flurry of activity in the royal chambers. The two princesses, Sienna and Y/N, hurried through their morning routines—breakfast was swift, followed by dance lessons and dress fittings, until they finally stood in the presence of the formidable Queen herself.
Sienna, ever effervescent, hastened to her mother’s side with a bright smile, while the second princess, who was not the queen’s daughter, stood more reservedly, her eyes cast downward in deference, awaiting acknowledgment.
Sienna’s gaze darted between her mother and Y/N, sensing the weight of the Queen’s scrutiny filling the room. The Queen took her time, setting down her cup of cooling tea before turning her attention to Princess Y/N. But like always, the timid first princess ignored the uneasy feeling that erupted in her heart.
“You may be at ease.” The Queen gestured graciously, prompting Y/N to straighten from her bow.
“Thank you, your majesty.” Y/N replied softly, her voice steady despite the nervous flutter in her stomach.
Sienna rushed over to pull Y/N into a nearby chair, bridging the gap between them and trying to dispel the tension that hung heavy in the Queen’s parlor.
“We heard you had important instructions for us regarding the upcoming celebrations.” Sienna interjected eagerly, her eyes sparkling with curiosity.
The Queen’s maids busied themselves pouring tea for the young princesses as the Queen began to speak.
“As you know, we are hosting important guests—guests who are traveling long journeys from neighboring nations. It is very important that we maintain the good reputation of Elysium. Your role will be to ensure they have no cause for complaint.” The Queen stated calmly, her tone unchanged from the moment they entered, though her eyes fixed intently on Y/N.
“Of course, mother! Leave it to us. We will not let you down. Right, Y/N?” Sienna affirmed confidently, turning to her younger sister.
But Y/N could feel the weight of the Queen’s gaze on her, understanding that this task was meant for her alone to fulfill.
“We will not let you down, your majesty.” Y/N responded humbly, meeting the Queen’s eyes with quiet resolve.
In that moment, Y/N grasped the weight of expectations as a lesser princess, reminded sharply of her place in the royal hierarchy. The Queen’s assignment underscored the fleeting nature of her newfound importance, a subtle reminder that her elevated role was temporary. The Queen had put her in her place.
Despite the weight of her position and the reminders of her status, Y/N diligently fulfilled her duty. She meticulously oversaw preparations, ensuring that every detail was attended to—from the readiness of the rooms to the assignment of attendants and servants to aid the envoys. Y/N even ensured that separate quarters were prepared for the guards and knights who accompanied the foreign guests.
Lady Katherine was furious upon hearing about the responsibilities thrust upon Y/N, the responsibilities given to a princess. How can a princess plan for the arrival of foreign delegations, it was beneath her. But of course, the Mistress could never voice out these concerns since it was the Queen herself that had made the decision. Lady Katherine’s frustration bubbled over as she paced the opulent chamber, her discontent echoing in the shattering of a teacup against the marble floor. Y/N, accustomed to her mother’s outbursts, remained composed despite the inner turmoil stirred by Katherine’s tantrums. However recently, Lady Katherine’s outbursts had grown more aggressive. There were times when she had even struck Y/N, though she would always return a few hours later, contrite and apologetic. Despite these incidents, Y/N, sharp yet understanding, always forgave her mother.
“How can you happily do these duties meant for an aide? A planner? Why is the first princess not taking on some of these responsibilities as well, she too was told to fulfill them diligently.” Katherine exclaimed, her voice laced with exasperation and reproach.
Y/N sighed softly, her gaze following the maids who hurried to clean up the mess her mother made during her outburst.
“Princess Sienna has been fulfilling her role. She chose the decorations for both the Emerald Hall—”
“Choosing decorations and colors is nothing compared to what you’ve been doing.” Katherine interjected, her frustration unabated.
“You have not even made your debut, yet you’re running around meeting outsiders.”
Y/N recognized the underlying disappointment in her mother’s words, the stark contrast between herself and Sienna becoming painfully clear once more. While Katherine had grown accustomed to Y/N being treated as a true princess in recent years, this new directive from the queen threatened to overturn that delicate balance.
“You seem so unbothered by all this. How long do you truly wish to see everything handed off to Princess Sienna, while you have to work so hard for even crumbs?” Katherine’s voice dripped with resentment.
Y/N met her mother’s gaze evenly, her composure unwavering.
“I am simply fulfilling what her majesty has tasked me with. Should I fail, it reflects poorly on your upbringing of me as well.”
Unable to argue with Y/N’s calm rationale, Lady Katherine seethed silently, grappling with the harsh reality of her daughter’s words. Yet, she did not like the tone in Y/N’s words, the way she spoke to her. Reminding her that her daughter was no longer a child, slipping from her control.
And soon the day of the foreign delegation’s arrival was here. ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ to be continued.
── ask to be tagged! - @stayceebs97, @palindrome969, @tsunderelino, @solandiszale, @fixation-dump, @ellelabelle
#stray kids fanfic#stray kids imagines#stray kids fluff#stray kids royal au#stray kids angst#stray kids#stray kids × reader#bang chan imagines#bangchan imagines#straykids#christopher bang#*mine: fics#bang chan#bang chan angst#bang chan × reader#stray kids chan#skz bang chan#bang chan reactions#*mine: fics#stray kids bang chan imagines#skz#skz imagines#skz fluff#skz × reader#chan × reader#skz scenarios#stray kids fanfiction#straykids fanfic#stray kids series
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Behind Closed Doors
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 pt1
Welcome back, Beloved Reader!
IT'S BEEN MONTHS WTFFFFF
Y'all im so sorryyyyy ahhhhh 😭😭 godd where have i been
I'm not even gonna talk your ears off, let's just get right into it!
Somehow, we need to figure out a way to expose the king and make him pay for what he did! But how...? Lady Ada shows her face again! What could she possibly have to say now?!
Let us continue!
☆*: .。. Behind Closed Doors .。.:*☆ Chapter 4 pt 1
Medeival!Leon Kennedy X Fem!Reader
Summary: Now knowing the truth, you, Leon, and his personal guard Chris, begin to create a plan to expose the King and Lady Ada Wong to the court in front of the Queen.
Cw: Just fluff and confrontation
READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!!
Enjoy! <3
.。.:*☆.。.:*☆.。.:*☆.。.:*☆.。.:*☆.。.:*☆.。.:*☆.。.:*☆.。.:*☆
The feeling of guilt in a person never truly leaves. No matter how the situation may be resolved.
You've seemed to learn that the hard way.
Your eyes never stray from Leon's form as he and Chris shoot ideas back and forth on how to get Lady Ada out of your lives.
Following the horrifying reveal of why Leon had bed Lady Ada, you called for the only other person who knew of the events that took place that night.
Chris had arrived in minutes, relieved that someone he could trust shared the same secret as them.
At first, you'd been very vocal during the conversation. It seemed as if you wanted revenge more than anyone else.
But as the talking went on, you'd fallen silent, staring at Leon as he rebuttals every idea Chris spits out. You watch as his hands wring, his mind deep in thought as he murmurs every answer.
Even though his expression seemed neutral, you could tell he was fearful of messing this up.
One mistake had the potential to cost all of them their heads, a risk he certainly was not willing to take.
Your hand moves underneath the table, reaching to hold his.
He notices your hand instantly, offering a smile of appreciation before flipping his own to hold onto yours. "Chris, let's give this a break."
Taking note of the change of atmosphere in the room, Chris gives a low bow and a small 'Your highness' before stepping out of the room and closing the door behind him.
Now alone, Leon frees his hand to stroke your cheek. "Are you alright?"
You reach up, taking his hand in yours and locking them together, bringing them to your lips. "I'm okay."
He gives you a look. "You don't seem okay."
You ignore him, watching as he takes your intertwined hands and puts them in his lap. "I should be asking you that question, highness."
Leon's face contorts into one of un-comfortability. "You've never called me that before... What plagues your mind, y/n?"
It's your turn to become uncomfortable. You squirm as he watches you, suddenly becoming bashful under his full attention.
"I'm... worried. Leon, even if we do somehow manage to expose the king, what else could we do?" A look of despair crosses your features as your hope dwindles. "He's the king. There's very little we can do to... de-throne him.."
Leon remains quiet, his jaw tight as he absorbs your words. His silence heightens your anxiety. You reach out your hand, holding his warm cheek. "If he tries to retaliate-"
Leon reaches up, placing his hand on top of yours and gripping it with a reassuring strength. "He won't."
Your blurry eyes meet his blazing ones, his body giving off a determined aura. "I'll die before he hurts you."
☆
You're no fool.
It has become increasingly obvious that the servants have noticed the restoration of your and Leon's relationship.
Every time you pass a group of gossiping staff, they all suddenly go quiet and bow before running away.
And as an even bigger sign that everyone knows you've forgiven your betrothed, a knock sounds at your door.
Not knowing who could possibly need you at this late hour, you were quick to hide the pen and scrap of paper you were using, ungracefully shoving them into your vanity drawer before speaking.
"Enter."
Turning toward the doors when they opened, you staggered backward.
The last person you'd expected to come to your chambers, especially after your last encounter, was Lady Ada.
Unaffected by your obvious surprise, Lady Ada curtsied before you. "Your highness."
You recovered quickly, straightening your back and getting to the point. "Lady Ada... To what do I owe the pleasure?"
The red maiden stands fully, immediately dropping her facade and crossing her arms, an amused look on her face. "Let us skip the pleasantries, Your Grace. You know... don't you?"
You grunt but keep your expression mutual. "I've no clue what you are talking about."
"There's no point in acting clueless. You know what the king forced between me and Leon." You feel your pulse rise when she discards the use of Leon's title.
"Mind your tongue-"
"No, I don't think I will."
Your teeth clench, your fists balling as you attempt to reign in your anger. "You forget your place, Lady Ada."
"Actually, I think I remember it quite well," The Lady stalks closer, slowly invading your space until she stands over you. "It is you who forgets my place, princess."
"Excuse me-"
"You heard me." She leans over you, pressing her body against yours. "You may expose His Majesty, but what after that? You want to ruin me? Destroy my reputation? Well, you can try pretty princess, but you will not get far."
You clench your jaw, defiantly looking up at her as she whispers her words, "What exactly are you hoping to accomplish? Please, do tell. I'm very curious."
"I'd rather gamble my last breath than tell you anything I intend to do."
A thick silence falls over the room. The electricity between the two of you emotionally taxing, but you refuse to give in. You'd failed to save the love of your life once.
You will not fail again.
Eventually, Lady Ada sighs before stepping away. "Oh well. Forcing you to tell me what you are planning would annoy me more than help me." She backed away, a condescending smirk on her red lips. "Try as you might, a spoiled little princess like you isn't significant enough to bring down the King."
She reached for the door handle, muttering one last sentence before leaving,
"We'll see who fate picks tomorrow."
The doors to your chamber shut behind her retreating figure.
You finally release the breath you'd been holding.
Tomorrow.
.。.:*☆.。.:*☆.。.:*☆.。.:*☆.。.:*☆.。.:*☆.。.:*☆.。.:*☆.。.:*☆
Ughhh this was way too short :( But it's only part 1 of this chapter. More to come, promise!!
I feel sooo bad that this took as long as it did ;-; I swear, i had no intitnton of taking this long of a break. College was just a little harder than I though it would be 😭
But now im on break fora week and have pretty good motivation. So we'll see how many posts I can squeeze out!
How will part 2 go? Will the group be successful in exposing the king? Who were you writing to? What exactly is Lady Ada's real role in all this?
Thank you for your patience!
See you next part!
-Via💕
#viaoverthemoon#leon kennedy#leon kennedy x reader#leon x reader#leon kennedy x you#leon s kennedy smut#resident evil#re4 leon#leon s kennedy#re4#leon smut#leon re4#resident evil leon#reader insert#x y/n#resident evil x reader#x reader#leon s kennedy x reader#leon s kennedy x fem!reader#leon s kennedy x you#behind closed doors
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My neighbour Rúben | Chapter 1
Summary: Have you ever watched this movie Scarlett Johansson and Chris Evans did before Marvel called “The Nanny Diaries”? It's about a girl, Scarlett's character, who finds herself working as a nanny for a very rich family, and Chris happens to be her hot and very cute neighbour. And something very similar is what has happened to me, neighbour included. Though in my case, mine is very cute and very hot. And handsome. The most handsome man I have ever seen. And his name is Rúben.
Author's note: This story has been finished and waiting in my drafts since 2022. I wrote it as a new and different version of "The Nanny Diaries" (my story with Ben Chilwell) because I didn't like it, and then I ended not liking this one either 🙈 But time passed, I read it again recently, thought it was cute… And here we are, having now both of them posted when they weren't supposed to 😅 I hope you like it, and as always, thank you for reading! 💜
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Masterlist
Have you ever watched this movie Scarlett Johansson and Chris Evans did before Marvel called “The Nanny Diaries”? It's about a girl, Scarlett's character, who finds herself working as a nanny for a very rich family with a spoiled kid and Chris is her hot and very cute neighbour. And something very similar is what has happened to me, but let's start from the beginning.
My entire life was designed to achieve one goal: become the best piano player in the country. Or in the continent if my father got too excited. And since I can remember, I've been glued to one.
While my friends were going out to the park, I was going to my teacher's house to practice. While my friends were meeting to go shopping or watch a movie at the cinema, I was practicing. While my friends were going out clubbing and meeting boys and girls, I was going early to bed because I had practice in the morning. And while my friends were choosing a career path they liked and enjoyed and moving to different cities all around the country, I only had one option: playing the piano and moving to Manchester, where the best teacher lived.
The weather sucks, yes. But it isn't such an ugly city as they say, and all the people I met were lovely and very welcoming. Unless you are fighting with them for a spot on the next recital or to get the next scholarship. That's when things get nasty, and that's how you end up with broken fingers and the dreams your parents had for you shattered. Because becoming the best piano player of my generation wasn't my dream, it was theirs. Or my father’s to be precise.
So when Anastasia Hamilton pushed me down the stairs and I found myself with two broken fingers on my left hand, a sprained ankle and my body covered in bruises, I didn't complain. Well, that's a lie. I complained and cried because it hurt like hell. But I didn't complain when they told me I wouldn't be able to play the piano like I used to due to one of my fingers not healing properly despite being treated by the best doctors. I didn't complain because I was finally free. If I wanted to play, I would be doing it because I wanted to, not because it was my job, because I had to, because my future depended on it. Now I was free to finally follow my dreams and not my parents’. Or that's what I thought.
I told them I wanted to take a gap year to figure out what to do with my life, but they said no. They had decided that I should study to become a music teacher, to help others achieve what I hadn't been able to. We argued, they said that if I wanted to do anything different it would not be with their money, I said ok, and I found myself alone in Manchester with barely any money or a place to live.
And that's when I crossed paths with Julia.
I had gone to the shopping centre to see if anyone was looking for a waitress or someone to fold t-shirts in a shop, when I saw her crying in the middle of one of the corridors, most people walking past her and ignoring her.
"Hey, are you ok?" I said, kneeling in front of her. "Where are your parents?"
"Quiero a mi mamá" she sobbed. That was why people were ignoring her. She only spoke Spanish and they didn't understand her. But, lucky me, I used to go to the north of Spain for music summer camp and I can speak it fluently.
"¿Dónde está tu mamá?" Where is your mum?
"No lo sé. Estaba comprando una taza fea y..." Her mum was buying an ugly mug. I couldn't help but laugh at that.
"Ok, let’s go find her.” Where we were most shops only sold clothes, but I remembered I had just walked past a Zara Home. Maybe she was there? "Come" I said, grabbing her hand. She didn't say a word and just followed me, her sobs turning into hiccups.
"Julia!" a woman screamed the moment we turned the corner. "Oh, Julia, I thought I had lost you!"
"Mami!" the kid said, letting go of my hand and throwing herself at the woman. "Me perdí y esta chica me ayudó."
"Did you help her?" the woman asked me.
"I saw her crying and that people were ignoring her, and I decided to check on her. She was speaking Spanish and I think that's why most people were walking past her, because they weren't able to understand her."
"Oh, she always does that when she gets upset. Do you speak Spanish?"
"Yup."
"Oh, you are an angel" the woman said, hugging her daughter a bit tighter. "I don't know how I'm gonna be able to thank you."
"Knowing that she's alright is enough, don’t worry."
"No, no, no. You must allow me to do something for you. What do you say, Julia. Should we invite this wonderful angel to have lunch with us?"
"Yes!" Julia said, her English coming back. "We'll bake you a chocolate cake! Do you like chocolate cake?"
"I actually do, yes" I smiled.
"Then it's settled. Let me give you my card, it has my office phone number on it" Julia's mum said, opening her bag. "Call tomorrow morning and we'll schedule that lunch together."
"Ok. Thank you."
"Thank you" the woman said, giving me a hug. "My name us Lucía, by the way. But you can call me Lucy like everyone in this country does."
"Nice to meet you, Lucy."
Lucía, Lucy. A Spanish lawyer specialized in divorces, and the divorces of very wealthy people. Which meant that when I arrived at her house for that lunch date, I found myself before one of the most expensive apartment buildings in the city.
"Are you coming in, miss?" the doorman asked.
"Yes, hi, sorry. Do I have to tell you where I'm going or..."
"You don't look like a thief" the man chuckled.
"I'm not, I promise. I'm meeting with Lucy and Julia."
"Oh, yes. Miss Julia said a friend was coming for lunch today. An angel."
"That must be me" I said, blushing a bit.
"Then welcome, miss" the man said, opening the building's door. "Do you know their floor number?"
"Yes, the 7th. Letter B."
"That’s the one. Call for the lift and push the number, their house will be the one to your right."
"Thank you very much, sir."
"My pleasure, miss" the man said with a smile. Roger. The loveliest man you'll ever meet.
"So glad you could make it" Lucy said after opening the door, giving me a hug.
"Angel!" Julia screamed, coming to also hug me. "You came!"
"Of course I did."
"She’s decided to start calling you angel because of what I said at the shopping centre. I hope you don’t mind.”
“It’s fine, don’t worry" I smiled.
“Come, let me show you my room" Julia said, grabbing my hand and forcing me to follow her.
After a tour around the house and its many rooms, we were back in the living room, one where the small flat I was renting thanks to some money my grandparents had been sending me without my parents knowing, could perfectly fit.
"Is that a real piano?" I asked Julia.
"It's daddy's" she said. "We used to play together."
"That's lovely." My dad never played with me just for fun. It always was about practice, practice... And oh, yes, more practice.
"Do you play?" Lucy asked me.
"Since I was Julia's age."
"Oh, that's wonderful! Why don't you play something for us while we wait for our food?"
"Sure" I said, sitting in front of the huge black piano. It was a very expensive one like everything else on that building.
"Daddy used to play that!" Julia said when she recognized the song. "Hey Jude, don't make it bad... Mami, why are you crying?" she asked her when we finished.
"Because it was beautiful, sweetheart. And you play so well" Lucy told me. "Have you ever thought about giving lessons?"
"Not really..."
"Julia started to take them a few months ago, but her teacher... Had other things to do, so now she doesn't have one. Would you like to take her place?"
"Me?"
"Yes, angel! Be my teacher!" Julia said, clapping her hands and jumping.
That was what my parents had wanted me to do. To become a teacher. I wasn't going to be doing it at the music school, but this still was teaching, right? And I liked Lucy and Julia a lot despite only knowing them for just a few hours.
"I'll do it" I said. "I'll be Julia's teacher."
"Oh, perfect!" Lucy smiled. "When can you start?"
"Whenever you want. I have nothing else to do" I shrugged.
"Then tomorrow. I have to work, so maybe you could pick up Julia from school, bring her here and start your lessons? I'll pay you for that extra time."
"Ok" I nodded.
I had found a job, one that I liked, and one that was going to pay me handsomely judging by the numbers Lucy had mentioned while doing a draft of my contract.
I was so busy thinking about all that, checking the details she had given me about Julia's school, that I hadn’t noticed the lift had made it to the lobby and the doors were open.
“Are you going up again?” a male voice said.
“Uh?” I replied, lifting my eyes from my phone. And what did they see? The most handsome man you could ever imagine.
“Are you going up again?” he repeated.
“I…” I had forgotten how to speak. I may have not been wearing an ugly costume like Scarlett in one of the scenes where she met Chris Evans, but I had my jaw on the floor and definitely was making a fool of myself. “No” I finally managed to say.
“So… are you leaving, then?” he asked, trying to hide a smile.
“Yes” I said, still looking at him. Was he real? He was real. When he stopped the lift’s door from closing again, taking a step forward towards me, I saw that he was very real. “Thank you. Sorry. I’m leaving” I blurted out, my brain finally remembering how speaking worked. Kind of.
“It’s ok” he replied with a smile. No, not a smile. A smirk. One that made everything inside me turn upside down. “Bye” he said, walking inside the lift and letting go of the doors, disappearing behind them while I just stared. He must have thought I was stupid. A creep. Or both. But what else are you supposed to do when you find yourself face to face with the hottest man in planet earth?
“Miss, are you alright?” I heard Roger say from the door.
“Yes, yes. Just… Processing what just happened. That I got a job, I mean” I quickly added, noticing how he was arching an eyebrow, his eyes moving to the lift.
“Oh, those are great news, miss. Congratulations.”
“Thank you. I guess you’ll be seeing more of me from now on.”
And hopefully, I would be seeing more of him too. Of the hot neighbour, my own Chris Evans. Though later on I would find out that his name wasn’t Chris, that would have been too much of a coincidence.
His name was Rúben.
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Winter falls
Pairings : Bang Chan x reader
Genre : Angst
Warnings : Mentions of break up, crying, Chan is referred as Chris in the whole story
The first snowflakes of the season were falling gently outside, turning the bustling city into a serene winter wonderland. Inside your favorite café, the warm glow of the fireplace contrasted sharply with the cold reality you were about to face. You sat across from Chris, the man who had been your world for the past three years, feeling a mix of dread and sorrow.
Chris reached out and took your hand, his touch as familiar as the falling snow outside. His brown eyes, usually filled with warmth and joy, were now clouded with sadness. His soft curls framed his face, making him look even more vulnerable in this moment.
"We need to talk," he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper.
You nodded, already knowing where this conversation was headed. You had both been avoiding it for weeks, hoping that the inevitable could somehow be delayed or, better yet, avoided altogether.
"I got the job offer," Chris continued, his eyes searching yours for a reaction. "It's an amazing opportunity, but it's in South Korea. I can't turn it down."
You felt a lump form in your throat, the reality of his words hitting you like a cold wind. "I know," you replied, your voice trembling. "I knew this day would come, but I didn't want to believe it."
Chris squeezed your hand, his eyes pleading with you to understand. "We've always known that our dreams might take us in different directions. I never wanted this to happen, but it's my career, my future."
You nodded, tears welling up in your eyes. "I understand, Chris. I do. But it doesn't make it any easier."
Silence hung heavy between you, the weight of unspoken words and shattered dreams pressing down on your hearts. The café, once a place of joy and laughter, now felt suffocating.
"We can't do long distance," Chris said finally, his voice breaking. "It wouldn't be fair to either of us. We deserve more than that."
"I- I know," you whispered, tears now streaming down your face. "But how do we move on from this? How do we let go when we both know we can't?"
Chris leaned across the table, brushing away your tears with his thumb. "I don't know," he admitted, his own eyes glistening with unshed tears. "But we have to try. We have to give each other the chance to find happiness, even if it's without each other."
The words were like a knife to your heart, but you knew he was right. Holding on would only prolong the pain, making it harder to heal.
"I love you, Chris," you said, your voice breaking. "I'll always love you."
"I love you too," he replied, his voice filled with anguish. "More than anything. That's why this is so hard."
You both stood up, the finality of the moment crashing down on you. Chris pulled you into his arms, holding you tightly as if trying to memorize the feel of you. You clung to him, not wanting to let go, but knowing that you had to.
Outside, the snow continued to fall, covering the world in a blanket of white. It was as if the universe was offering a fresh start, a new beginning, even though it felt like the end.
As you walked out of the café together, you knew that this was the last time you would be together like this. The streets were quiet, the only sound the crunch of snow beneath your feet.
"Goodbye" Chris said softly, his voice barely audible above the silence of the night.
"Goodbye, Chris," you replied, your heart breaking with each step you took away from him.
You walked away, each step feeling heavier than the last. The cold winter air bit at your skin, mirroring the pain in your heart. You knew that moving on would be impossible, that Chris would always hold a piece of your heart.
As you reached your apartment, you looked back one last time. Chris was still standing there, watching you with a look of utter devastation. You gave him a small, sad smile, knowing that this was the end of a beautiful chapter in your life.
Inside your apartment, you collapsed onto the couch, the weight of the breakup finally crashing down on you. The snow outside continued to fall, each flake a reminder of what you had lost. You knew that the road ahead would be long and difficult, but you also knew that you had to find a way to move forward, even if it felt impossible now.
Winter had always been your favorite season, but now it would forever be tainted with the memory of your heartbreaking goodbye to Chris.
#skz#bangchan#bang chan#christopher bang#chris bang#stray kids#stay#skz stay#bang chan x you#bang chan x reader#bang chan fanfic#chan fic#breakup#bang chan angst#angst#winter#stray kids angst#skz angst#skz fic#skz fanfic#skz x reader#skz x you#lovestay#angst fic#skz scenarios#skz imagines#bang chan imagines#bang chan scenarios#chan#skz chan
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tags cont.
I’m planning on making an incorrect summary of ibvs and this was one of the first ideas i had
THIS REMINDS ME OF THE TIME I WAS BORED IN CLASS AND WASTED LIKE TWENTY PAGES OF MY NOTEBOOK BY SCRIPTING A "IBVS IN A NUTSHELL" THING
tags are just me being nostalgic
#''though justin's away the other six of us are here'' *only edward louis james and cody on screen*#THIS WAS PRE- JOCK SOAP OPERA hagsgdshsjaja#OH MY GOD QUINTON JUNIOR AND THE REAPER WAS STRUCTURED LIKE A REALITY TV SHOW#*voiceover as geno sits in his classroom* ''it's unfair to be in school when the older kids all get a break'' and then the monolog continues#*talking to viewers* ''geno's cool. i really wanna be his friend. i just wish he'd acknowledge me more.''#*cut directly to reuben entering the closet* geno: ''oh no''#yknow that thing in elementary school where instead of a kid saying here they say some random word and think it's hilarious?#yeah nolan does that. immediate cut to him telling the audience that he's hilarious and so cool.#chris breaking the fourth wall to say ''i swear sigma was called something else before'' just for charlie to gaslight him#i think rereading ibvs to script this was actually the reason i noticed the name change to begin with#[CHAPTER 16] isaac: ''oh cool my eyes sparkle this could be a great time for-'' *cut back to chris* ''no wait seriously was it always ca-''#''it's fine it's not like he's worried about his glasses because he has a super glowing eye or anything#no there's nothing superhero about this guy or about me no siree definitely not me i am no superhero''#i had a running joke where isaac said ''i miss chris'' every time he thought of chris. but it's honestly sad how that's most of his scenes.#oh wow writing this script is really what pointed out a lot of the chris things to me isn't it. huh.#isaac: ''hey chris i'm glad we finally get to talk'' . edward: ''so chris about that ghost'' . nevin: ''excuse me I want to talk to chris''#really made the chapter 19 lunch scene sound like chris is a dating sim protagonist lmao#drew: ''i think nevin might've gaslit himself into thinking magic exists. or aliens or whatever it is this week.''#THE JOCKS BEING DRESSED UP AS THE SCOOBY DOO GANG ''why is wizard boy wearing an ascot'' hwgdgdshsusjshsh#i incorporated harley's little ''i am'' introduction into a monolog when he's defending chris?? i'm so sad i forgot that its adorable#too bad i no longer trust that man#i cant believe i really stuck with the reality tv show thing for the third graders lmao#nolan talking all edgy and then cut to him explaining what the 'souls' are too the audience#''oh go find those last chaos emeralds or something. i don't care just leave''#text-to-speech protests in the background as How Bad Can I Be begins#and i guess i couldn't think of anything funny for the last few chapters#how many pages are here#31? wow i had too much free time during class
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eclipse part one˚。⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚。⋆
♡ series playlist
♡ a/n: so i decided to post the chapters after i write them. this does mean that they'll posted far apart and not every other day like i originally intended. for those of you who don't already know, this series is pretty much the first three twilight books with my own twists hehe. it's going to be separated into three Acts. Act 1: Twilight, Act 2: New Moon, Act 3: Eclipse. i can't wait for this journey and hope u guys enjoy it ! :)
♡ summary: you moved from the sizzling hot arizona to the depressive rainy washington in a small town called forks. it was terribly boring.. until you meet a gorgeous townie and fall in love. but what do you do when your childhood friend interferes with your feelings? ♡ warnings/notes: a matt sturniolo and chris sturniolo love triangle series, cursing, lowercase intended, use of "yn", cry!baby reader n/n = nickname ♡ wc: 3.5k
♡ masterlist
ACT 1: TWILIGHT
you miss arizona terribly. moving to the small town of forks in washington was something you never would have dreamed of. your wacko mom sent you to stay with your father for a while and start a new life while she went away with phil, her new husband. it had rained every single day since the moment your plane landed-- it was summer when you moved. you despise it here. summer was supposed to be hot, and you should have been going to the pool! you were going to get a lovely tan to show off for the new school year, but instead, you were stuck inside your girly room reading for the entire break.
though you must admit, when you first entered the shabby house filled with dingy furniture--(you could practically hear your mother's voice complaining), you hadn't expected to get so comfortable so quick. charlie, your dad, wasn't half bad. he's a cool and laid-back guy who didn't prod into your life and bug you as much as you thought he would. unexpectantly, your small black kitten lilith took a liking to him too. lilith is your little companion who you bring along anywhere. her fur's always decorated in cute pink bows so the two of you could match. in a way, she's your best (and now only) friend.
as you sit in a rusty old truck gifted to you by charlie, you bite the inside of your cheek, looking around the tarnished vehicle with a distasted frown on your gloss-covered pouty lips. you couldn't complain, of course, you really appreciated it. you've been wanting a car for forever... but it was so slow!
groaning at the speedometer, you realize that the maximum speed is 55. you sigh, deciding to stop nitpicking the truck considering it's the only one you've got. the rain pitter-patters on your windows along with your squeaky windshield wipers swiping the water off. you pull into your new school's parking lot where students were just beginning to arrive. you put the vehicle into park, but you don't get out right away.
you exhale as your manicured nails anxiously tap against the steering wheel. you miss your friends back home. you don't want to go here! everybody looks so dreadful. besides, you'd already spent the last two years sucking up to your teachers. all of that was down the drain now. and to make matters even worse, forks high school has an underwhelming amount of students: 357 kids-- well, 358 now. in this small town, everybody knows everybody, which means that everyone is going to know that you're an arizonian freak... maybe you're overreacting.
you bite your glossy lip hesitantly before grabbing your pink puffer tote and umbrella. you quickly jump out and slam the truck door shut. you hurriedly rush to the main building where you're greeted by a woman in a purple t-shirt, automatically making you feel overdressed in your denim skirt and pretty brandy melville shirt with a brown zippered jacket over it-- not to mention the sum of all your accessories. you close your umbrella and greet the woman back with a soft smile. she kindly hands you a map of the school and your assigned schedule. "your first class is in building three, room 3-104, dearie."
you nod and thank the lady for her help before opening your umbrella again to head to the building with a black "3" sloppily painted on the side. you open the door, stepping inside and shutting your umbrella once more before walking down the hall to your classroom, checking the number on your paper schedule to be sure. you arrive, your hand reaching for the doorhandle, taking a quick breath. you'd already gotten a few double takes in response to your girly appearance when you were strolling down the hallway. you hope no one bothers you about it.
the door opens creakily. the classroom is small and tight, almost suffocating. you hang up your coat on one of the hooks lined up against the wall. walking up to the teacher's desk, you hand him a late pass with your basic information. you prepare the words you're going to say when you're asked to introduce yourself. you aren't a social person, so maybe this'll be good for you! but the scruffy man grunts and points to an empty desk at the back of the room. oh. well, it'd be hard for people to judge your appearance in the back, so you can't say you're disappointed.
you kept your eyes down for most of the class, not bothering to scan the room and learn people's faces along with their names. the teacher had given you a reading list, but you'd already read everything before. shakespeare, bronte, faulker.. how boring! though it was also a comfort that you already knew everything and had nothing to worry about. suddenly, the bell rings-- not a satisfying chime like the one back home, more nasally and uncomforting. a short but brawny boy sitting in front of you turns around and brushes back his fluffy brown hair. "you're yn swan, aren't you?"
"uh-huh." you nod, looking up in small surprise. some people turned their heads to see why their friend was speaking to the weird girl from out of town. he hums contently. "where's your next class?" he asks, not even bothering to tell you his name. "oh, uhh.." you check your schedule before looking back up. "...government with jefferson. building six." his curious eyes brighten. "i'm headed to building four.. i could show you the way? i'm nate." the corner of your lips turn up. "that'd be really helpful, thank you." you smile in a friendly manner, nate smiling with you.
the two of you picked up your jackets and headed out into the rain, which had picked up heavily. as you walked, you noticed a few people lurking behind you-- almost as if they were eavesdropping nosily. nate clears his throat. "soo, this is pretty different from pheonix, huh?" he shoves his hands into his pockets as his head cocks towards you who's still looking down. "oh yeah, very."
"how often does it rain?"
"mm, three or four times a year."
"shit, what's that like?" he chuckles.
you shrug awkwardly. "sunny."
once you two reach your class, nate opens the door for you, a little over-helpfully. "well, good luck. maybe we'll see each other again in some other class." he said almost hopefully. you nod vaguely and head inside. the rest of the morning passed by in fast forward. your trig teacher was the only one who made you stand in front of your classmates to introduce yourself-- you stammered and tripped over your shoes on the way back to your seat.
in every subject, there was always at least one person who decided to be bold and chatty, asking you questions about living here in forks compared to pheonix. in all honesty, you just lied a lot. you didn't want to be that loser who hated something without really giving it a chance, so you repeated the same phrase every time someone asked how you were liking forks so far. "it's cool! this is what i needed, a change of atmosphere." one girl sat next to you in trig and french, a pale girl with a ginger ponytail. she was the chattiest of chatterboxes.
in trig, she turned to you abruptly, grabbing your hand. your eyes widened unexpectantly, but she spoke before you could. "hi! are you new here? i've never seen you before. wow, you're SO pretty!! i love your outfit, it's so cute. everyone normally dresses like they're homeless, but not you-- oh! my name is jessica, sorry, that was SO rude.."
she thoughtfully demanded she walk you to lunch, prattling about teachers and students as you walked to the cafeteria, but you didn't try too hard to keep up. she leads you towards a long table, full of her friends. she introduces you to every single one and you annoyingly forget all of their names as soon as she says them. you sit squished between all seven students, trying to keep up with the conversation when a certain group captures your attention.
they're sat in the corner of the cafeteria away from everyone else. there's four, but none of them spoke. they didn't bother to look anywhere else besides their table, so your eyes were free to roam. they all grabbed curiosity without even trying-- they're angelic. two boys and two girls. the girls look like polar opposites. one is tall with luscious golden hair, the type that'd make any girl furious with envy. the smaller one is chubby with long silky black hair. her eyes are big and doe-like. the boys seem to be twins, but you can easily tell the difference. the bigger one is wearing a blue zip-up sweater but still manages to look majestic. you notice he often messes with his red-dyed hair or nose ring. and then you shift your gaze to the other twin. he was the most beautiful out of them all. his small silver earrings shook as he moves his head to the side, clearly thinking about something. he has tattoos littering his arms, giving him a tough image.
at the same time, they're all very similar. every one of them is chalky pale, very pale. they all have dark eyes despite the difference in hair coloring. they also have dark shadows under their eyes, like they were suffering from many sleepless nights. you can't look away. they look perfect. inhumanly beautiful. the students at your table were still talking to you though they weren't exactly aware that you hadn't been listening for at least five minutes. "erm- jessica. who are they?" your words stop the conversation as the students' eyes follow your pointed finger. their eyes flicker over to the table before back to you within a second. jessica giggles almost nervously. "well, that's rosalie and madison filipowicz, and nicolas and matthew sturniolo. they all live with jimmy sturniolo and his wife." she lowered her tone so only people close by can hear.
you don't mind keeping your eyes on them, they're mesmerizing. "so, which are the sturniolos? the girls don't look related.."
jessica glances towards them again. "they're not. they were both adopted by dr. jimmy and his wife, marylou. nick and matt are twins obviously and they're the doctor's actual kids." you nod along and find your focus staying mostly on matthew. his long pale fingers slowly peel an orange, his eyes filled with boredom. you don't move your glance when you talk again. "have they always lived here?"
jessica replies in a voice implying that it should be obvious, "no, they moved here two years ago from alaska or some shit, i dunno.."
you're still examining them when matthew looks up directly at you. your eyes widen and turn away immediately filled with embarrassment. jessica noticed you eyeing him and grins. "matt doesn't date. bummer, 'cus he's totally gorgeous.. guess none of the girls here are good-looking enough for him. self-absorbed rich boy..." she mutters the last part under her breath and you wonder if he's turned her down before. you bite your lip to cover up your smile, then you look at him again. his face is turned away, but it looks like his cheek's lifted as if he were smiling too.
lunch went by fast and your next class is biology two. when you get to the room, you notice that all the black-topped lab tables are taken with partners-- except for one. right in the center, matthew from lunch sits by himself. you huff quietly and walk down the aisle to your teacher's desk to introduce yourself. and of course, he assigns you to the only free seat next to matt. when you're walking back to the table, you notice how he's become stiff and rigid in his chair. he looks at you with a strange expression, a furious expression.
you avoid eye contact, sitting down and dropping your bag on the floor next to you. matt readjusts himself so that he's leaning away from you, as far away as possible. you scoff silently, wondering what his problem is. maybe it was what happened at lunch? oh shit, he probably thinks you're a creep. your teacher begins a lecture on cellular anatomy, something you already did back home. you decide to take notes anyway, pulling out gel pens and highlighters.
you feel his eyes on you again. staring. criticizing. you don't care though. you perkily take your pretty notes and he'll just have to deal with the noises of uncapping and recapping highlighters. you glance down at his arm laying on the table close to you. it's pale and muscular. his hand's clenched into a tight fist and you can't help but wonder if it's because of you. nono, it is because of you. it's almost ten minutes later and he still hasn't relaxed his tense figure, so the annoyed clench must be your fault.
the class ends after what felt like forever. as the loud bell rings, matt abruptly sprints out of his seat with his belongings and rushes out the door. you exhale with a pout. why is he so mean? maybe you should've apologized for admiring him during the earlier period. you start piling your stuff into your pink bag, ignoring the hot tears rising and blurring your vision. infuriatingly, you cry for everything like a little baby. you pull your schedule out of your pocket, unfolding it to see your next class. last period is p.e? that sucks. not only are you terrible at anything physical, you're gonna go home a sweaty mess.
you make it to the girls' locker room and see jessica tying her bright red hair up into a tight ponytail. she notices you walking in and smiles brightly. "oh my gosh, hi yn!! what a coincidence you're here! i haven't seen you since lunch, feels like it's been hours-" as she begins to ramble, you choose a locker and load your jacket and purse inside. while she's talking, another girl comes up behind her, tapping her shoulder fast. "jess! chris is coming to pick up nate after school." she shrieks, clapping her hands together excitedly. jessica's eyes widen and her smile somehow grows wider.
you watch the both of them squeal, and wonder if they're talking about your chris, your best friend when you were younger and visited forks on holiday breaks. jessica catches your eye and calms down to explain. "christopher owen is the hottest guy you'll ever see! probably even better looking than matt- you remember, right? the guy i was showing you- yeah anyway, he lives in la push which totally sucks but his best friend goes here so sometimes he comes on his motorcycle to pick him up."
you nod along. "christopher owen? like.. brown hair blue eyes?" you realize how his face kind of reminds you of matthew and nicolas. but maybe your memory's just hazy. jessica's eyes widen like a cartoon. her friend grabs her hand, "holy shit, you know him?! you have to introduce us, pleaseee!!"
you shrug awkwardly. "oh, i dunno. i haven't seen him in a couple of years-" you're thankfully cut off when the coach walks in and blows his whistle to signal that class is starting. the two girls badger you as you walk out into the gym where a volleyball net is set up. ah great. you cringe just thinking about the so many ways you could get hurt.
forty-five minutes later, you only got hit on your head by the ball two times! that's a win. jessica and her friend make it to the locker room before anyone else, collecting their stuff and yours to then run back to where you're still not even out of the gymnasium yet. they grab both of your arms and drag you out of the building. jessica's friend lets go of your arm, shoving her hands into the back pockets of her jeans. "can i see your schedule?" she asks, holding her hand out. you hum, "sure, one sec.." you check your jacket pockets just to find them empty. "uh.." you mutter, looking through your bag.
"maybe you dropped it somewhere?" she suggests, peeking into your bag. you sigh and stop walking. "i have to get another one. when does the front office close?" you question hurriedly. "umm in a bit! go!! but be back quick, chris is gonna leave soon.." jessica whines at the last part. you hold onto your bag tightly and run to building one, the wind strongly blowing in your face along with little drops of rain. you swing the door open and see matthew standing in front of the receptionist's desk. you bite the inside of your cheek unpleasantly. he's arguing with the woman in a low attractive voice. it sounds like he's trying to trade sixth period biology to any other class... wait a damn minute.
your mouth opens into an 'o' with pinched eyebrows. he has biology with you. what a dick! he turns around annoyed and gives you a cold glare. he exhales and turns back to the receptionist. "nevermind. it's alright, thanks anyway." he waves his hand and storms out the door like earlier. your lip quivers but you blink back tiny tears, walking up to the desk. you explain the stupid situation, already beginning to show your irresponsibility. she prints a second schedule and hands it to you without a problem. "how was your first day?" she toothily smiles.
you purse your lips. "not bad" is all you say before you're waving to the sweet lady and walking out the door. you see a small crowd formed in the parking lot and catch sight of jessica and her friend with hands on their mouths. you curiously walk faster to where they stand. you see a big intimidating motorcycle revving up to which the students cheer. wow. you weren't wrong, chris looks identical to nick and matt. however, you fold your arms with a big grin spreading on your face. your childhood friend sits on the bike, his fluffy hair blowing in the wind. jessica latches onto your arm, "talk to himm!" she urges. you suck your teeth.
"why aren't you wearing a helmet??" you call out maternally. some people turn around, but you keep looking at chris' reaction when his eyes go big. "IS THAT MY- holdon man." he starts but slaps nate's shoulder as he gets off his bike. chris chuckles, observing your face. he's big, much bigger than you expected. his arms are large and lean in his black tank top-- gosh, he must be cold. he comes up to you, ruffling your hair with his big hand. "i'm not wearing a helmet 'cus it'll fuck up my hair. what the fuck are ya doin' here? it's been so long!"
you giggle, giving him a hug. he pats your back somewhat awkwardly as the small crowd begins to decrease as people get into their cars. jessica and her friend hang around and squeal girlishly at the physical contact, but you ignore them. "i moved here over the summer!- wow, you're tall." you look up at him, cheeks starting to hurt from all the smiling. he kisses your head in a friendly manner and pulls away from the hug. "yeah, justin says i'm gettin' too big to live with." he grins playfully. you like how his face didn't change that much compared to the rest of his body. he still has the same cheesy smile that was always plastered on his face.
"well, how d'ya feel bein' here? actually, my bad n/n-" you let out a small giggle at the familiar nickname that only he was allowed to call you. "-i gotta take this punk home. but i'll stop by your place soon, promise." he gives you another quick hug before patting your head jokingly. you laugh, waving his hand off. "okay, bye!!" you wave as he gets onto his motorcycle, nate clinging onto his back. he gives you a small wink and drives off.
"i didn't know chris was a triplet.." you mutter. jessica happens to pick it up. "oh yeah, but i guess they're not really close. they never talk to each other when chris comes here. actually.. i don't think i've ever seen them all together." she quickly shrugs it off, changing the subject. interesting, chris doesn't even have the same last name as matt and nick. you shake away these thoughts, who cares? not any of your business anyway. you catch matthew getting into the driver's seat of a white volvo a few cars down from yours. he eyes you for a quick second before pulling out and driving away. you chuckle in disbelief. dick.
♡ tags ♡
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