#chotchkies

[ourceliumnetwork]

okay. i cleared out the space under my bed so the princess will have so much MORE room for activities than she previously did. at least until Saturday and we move to the new place and she can decide if she's going to play nice with the boys finally.

[mannytoodope]

  Stan, Chotchkie's Manager: We need to talk about your flair.

Joanna : Really? I... I have fifteen pieces on. I, also...

Stan the Chotchkie's Manager: Well, okay. Fifteen is the minimum, okay?

Joanna : Okay.

Stan Chotchkie's Manager: Now, you know it's up to you whether or not you want to just do the bare minimum. Or, like Brian, for example, has thirty-seven pieces of flair, okay. And a terrific smile.

Joanna : Okay. So you... you want me to wear more?

Stan, Chotchkie's Manager: Look. Joanna.

Joanna : Yeah.

Stan the Chotchkie's Manager: People can get a cheeseburger anywhere, okay? They come to Chotchkie's for the atmosphere and the attitude. Okay? That's what the flair's about. It's about fun.

Joanna : Yeah. Okay. So, more then, yeah?

Stan the Chotchkie's Manager: Look, we want you to express yourself, okay? If you feel that the bare minimum is enough, that is okay. But some people choose to wear more, and we encourage that, okay? You do want to express yourself, don't you?

Joanna : Yeah, yeah.

Stan Chotchkie's Manager: Okay. Great. Great. That's all I ask.

[lightblueminecraftorchid]

TW: discussions of body image/eating disorders/fat shaming/etc. Rant under the cut. This is about drag and body image as it pertains to Drag Race in the United States.

Thinking about Drag Race in the US. 16 seasons of Drag Race, 7 seasons of All Stars (excluding winners’ seasons), however many Vs The World seasons, and there has *never* been a winner that isn’t skinny.

Oh, some competitors get close. Supposedly, drag is open to all body shapes and sizes (with the right padding and shape wear and makeup). Supposedly, no matter your body, you can shapeshift into something beautiful. Over and over and over again, Drag Race has competitors who pride themselves on being “big girls”; people who grew up fatshamed, but turned it into their brand. Many of these queens are incredibly skilled performers, artists, and entertainers. And yet.

And yet.

Somehow, when the judging gets close, the fat queen usually gets cut.

I think about RuPaul’s background before Drag Race, as a runway model. How the Tic Tac Chit Chat is a running joke; “oh, RuPaul can’t finish a tic tac”. How many queens on the show are *frighteningly* skinny, and this is seen as a compliment. Producers will stitch together storylines of queens recovering from eating disorders, and in the same breath, cut to RuPaul and Michelle Visage complimenting a queen on how small her waist is in that corset.

I think about how many of these queens have had plastic surgery. At least one a season, usually more. How queens will come back for All Stars and I can no longer recognize them, not because they’re painting differently, but because their faces have entirely changed shape in the past few years. Hollower cheeks. Larger lips. Shaved jaws. Cutting and slicing for some proportion that makes them look slimmer and more feminine. How Morphine won the finale Lalaparuza Smackdown, with a $50,000 prize, and excitedly told the camera how she was going to “invest in her body”. “You get a BBL, you get a BBL, everybody gets a BBL!”.

Some of that is gender-affirming surgery, or other medically necessary surgeries. Detox got reconstructive surgery after a car crash, for example. A lot of it… isn’t. A lot of it is an “investment”. Part of the job.

I think about how a queen walked a runway with a look critiquing plastic surgery, all nude illusion and dashed lines, carving away at her waist and hips and butt. How Michelle Visage called it “overdone”. So many queens have talked about that already. It’s not new. It’s old news. Step up your game and talk about something more compelling.

16 years and not a single fat queen has won.

My friend and I aren’t watching seasons in order, but rather by how much they like a particular season. We’re working through season 7 right now. Violet Chotchki wins that one (sorry for spoilers). Violet also spends the entire season focused on emphasizing her body. How young she is. How skinny she is. Look, her “Death Becomes Her” runway is just her in the tightest corset possible, with an IV drip stuck into her arm. Cinched to death. The judges coo at how her waist is *so* small-

How many queens have come onto this show and bragged about losing 50 pounds? How many queens come back for All Stars, gleeful that they’re not a “big queen” anymore? Just “thick and juicy”, just “don’t need any padding”. You can have fat… as long as it’s in the butt or breasts and looks sexy enough. Otherwise it’s a hurdle to cry about in the cutaways. You can be as fat as you want on this show, sure, but if you lose weight you’ll get a camera in your face talking about how much “healthier” you are.

I think about how fashion runways are infinitely, horrifically worse. How most of these winners would, should they walk the runway, be put into a boring pencil skirt in the “plus size” category. They should be so lucky.

I think about Latrice. I think about Ginger Minj. I think about Eureka. I think about Mistress. I think about Megami in the Lalaparuza Smackdown. All these queens that get *so fucking close*. But some little thing-

Some intangible, unnameable thing-

Some unspoken qualia just barely makes their slim competitor stand out enough to take the crown.

I love drag. I really enjoy watching Drag Race. It’s a pocket of explicitly queer media I don’t get to see much of anywhere else. Disabled queens have won multiple seasons. People of color have won multiple seasons. Trans people have won multiple seasons. Just this year, the first East Asian queen won Drag Race in the US. Drag Race is incredibly inclusive to people from all backgrounds who are talented artists showing off their skills-

RuPaul makes another joke about skipping meals and getting surgery to maintain a queen’s “girl body”.

I turn the TV off.

[yesterdays-xkcd]

General solutions get you a 50% tip.

NP-Complete [Explained]

Transcript

My Hobby: Embedding NP-Complete problems in restaurant orders [A menu is shown.] Chotchkies Restaurant Appetizers Mixed Fruit 2.15 French Fries 2.75 Side Salad 3.35 Hot Wings 3.55 Mozzarella Sticks 4.20 Sampler Plate 5.80

Sandwiches Barbecue 6.55

[Megan, another person, and Cueball are sitting at a table. Cueball is holding the menu as well as a thick book and is ordering from a waiter. Megan is facepalming.] Cueball: We'd like exactly $15.05 worth of appetizers, please. Waiter: ...Exactly? Uhh... Cueball: Here, these papers on the knapsack problem might help you out. Waiter: Listen, I have six other tables to get to— Cueball: —As fast as possible, of course. Want something on traveling salesman?

[eastwindmlk]

For this June @jilychallenge decided to add one more instalment to my Ren Faire AU!

Part 1 Part 2

Prompt: Under the mistletoe at a work event

Partner: @fiendishfyre

This month's Galavant Song:

Maybe it was something about it being a leap year and down sort of retrograde. She would have to ask Ginger about that when lectures started again. Because it was only some sort of freak occurance in the stars or an ancient type of course that led Lily to be dressed up in het another fancy dress.

In all fairness, this was for charity. Something about education for underprivileged victims of… Frankly, Lily could not remember and it did not matter. She was doing this for a good cause and if that meant donning a krinoline and bonnet, singing Silent Night until she was ready to toss the glockenspiel in the large bonfire in the square. So be it.

She was going to do it with grace.

The night before the Dickens Christmas Market, Lily's mother had curled her hair and made her sleep with a silk cap on to ensure the ringlets would set just right.

That morning Lily had complained about just how fanatically her mother has pushed the pins onto her hair, securing the Holly adorned headdress to said perfect curls.

Now, on one of her very generous breaks to explore the foar herself, she was wriggling them free. Idely strolling past the stalls lined with sweets and chotchkies. Baubles and figurines. All things Lily did not particularly want or need. But they were so lovely.

Once past the lantern lit shops one of the vendors offered her a hot chocolate and to warm her up he'd added a very generous pour of orange liqueur. Something she gladly accepted, her cold fingers clutching at the souvenir mug.

She took a cheerful stroll along the cheerfully lot Christmas trees, humming an off tune rendition of We Wish you a Merry Christmas and letting her feet decide where they were heading.

After a short stroll, it seemed that her feet were particularly interested in the horse and carriages. Not that she was surprised, she'd been rather charmed by the notion of carriage rides in the snow.

Admittedly, she was a lot less charmed after she'd actually met a horse. The wild thing she'd mounted at some distant family friends farm had tried to throw her off as she desperately had clung to it's mane.

Only to be told later that the one she'd selected had never been broken in and was practically wild. They'd been so impressed with the fact that she'd managed to coax her way onto it's back that theyd nearly forgot to come to her rescue.

Ever since the she'd regarded everything equine with a healthy dose of reluctance.

She'd been assured that these were well trained and their handler was the picture of professionalism. She had nothing to worry about.

And so it came to be thar a slightly tipsy Lily approached the great black and white beast with conviction. Strolling up to it conveniently, only to jolt when it neighed loudly just as her hand reached out to stroke the silken coat.

“Well, aren't you a beauty,” she placated, her finger tips barely brushing its large head. “There is no fear in you, is there?” She asked it and as if she was understood, the horse breezed. Making her pull her hand back for a moment. Almost melting when it turned into her touch.

Its wet nose pressed against her palm and for just a moment, Lily revelled in the fact that this horse seemed to like her.

“Gertrude, you little minx,” the familiar voice from behind her scolded. “You are not flirting your way to another snack, you are on a diet.”

Lily couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all. One, the horse was named Gertrude. Gertrude! What kind of name was that? Certainly not something you’d call a horse. Two, was to feel a little betrayed by it. Her? For making her think she was after affection rather than a treat.

But all of that was overshadowed by the fact that she knew that voice, and that voice was not supposed to be here. That voice belonged to someone that looked far too dashing in his cape and top hat.

James. Sir James, if you will. Who she had thought about scandalously snogged the last time she had found herself at a costumed occasion. But despite there having been plenty of opportunities, they had not.

She looked at him with a coy smile, wondering how long it would take for him to recognize her with all these new trimmings. The hair and the bonnet really making a whole world of difference. “Should I start to worry that you’re stalking me?” she questioned after a moment of seemingly nothing.

There was something incredibly entertaining to watch the realization dawn on his face, like a light flickering on slowly, doubtfully at first. And then a bright smile lighting up his entire face. Suddenly leaning against the horse to inch just that little bit closer to her. “Fancy seeing you here.”

Lily knew that she should have rolled her eyes at this, but there was something about this man. Being around him made her want to be one of those swooning maidens, giggling and batting her eyelashes.

She rolled forward, balancing in the balls of her feet as she closed some of the distance between them. Her hand landing on his chest, pretending to pick a piece of straw off his lapel and running the thick fabric between her fingers. “So, what are you doing here?”

“Taking you on a carriage ride,” James answered casually, extending his hand to invite her to climb aboard. Motioning to the driver's bench and giving her a moment’s pause. Her heart was racing in her chest, a giddy feeling starting in her toes as he offered something she’d had wanted to do ever since she was a little girl.

The problem was that she was technically working. Could she really afford to be whisked awayHe reached to adjust the silk ribbon of her bonnet, playing his role of being brazen and charming bachelor. Smiling broadly enough to crinkle his eyes behind his lopsided glasses and flash a dimple that she had not noticed in their prior encounters.

He was still inching closer. Close enough to share the same breath, his finger curling behind the clasp holding her cape closed. Tugging her closer. “Where do you think you’re going?” James asked, his eyes flicking upward.

Lily followed his eyes upward, wondering what it was for. It did not take long to notice that dangling above them from the lantern dangled a bundle of delicate greens and pearly white berries.

Mistletoe.

She stared at it for a moment, wondering if she should make some excuse. She was working, he was working here too, it seemed. It was unprofessional and… Her train of thought disappeared when her eyes met his. In this light, she could see the flecks of green in the whirlpool of gold that drew her in.

Her eyelids fluttering, lashes brushing her cheeks before letting them close. The heat of his face close to hers was welcoming. The anticipation having build enough to ignore the musty scent of horse that clung to him.

Their noses bumped, his glassed pressed uncomfortably into her cheek but his lips met hers.

Finally.

Lily knew that this kiss should have felt incredible and romantic and hard-earned. But honestly, it was a little awkward and too wet for her liking. Objectively, it was a terrible kiss. Maybe one of the worst ones she’d had in a while.

But when he pulled away, all that she wanted to do is claim another one.

[yeahiwasintheshit]

37, 34, 28, 9 for the qustion thing

37 share a secret: im gay. shhhhh! lol ummm... i havent had sex since before the pandemic... and tbh im kinda not really missing it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

34 any pet peeves?: as george carlin says:

28 do you collect anything?: i collected garbage pail kids when i was a kid lol bit no, i never really was a collector of anything. other than art from friends or people i like. very minimal life. hate chotchkies. hate clutter. dont want to feel like if i dont have everything of whatever the collection is, i am not finished. i get bored easily. until like late last year, i kinda got into collection the criterion collection movies on blu-ray/dvd/4k. it kinda has subsided a little now, but i was really into it. watching all the utubies of other collectors. it was a little sick. lol

9 tell a story about your childhood: first thing that popped into my head was one time when i was like 8-9-10 ish, i dont even remember how old anymore, but i was hanging out with all these other kids and it was summer and it was hot. so stupidly we broke into teams of like 3-4-5?? and all stood on opposite sides of this like big puddle in the middle of this parking lot (that wasnt paved - it had stones everywhere) so the game was, throw the stone in the puddle to wet the other team. well someone threw the stone and it skipped off another stone in the puddle, and hit me in my head, and i had to get like 11 stitches. if i remember. god so much shit from my childhood has just dissipated outta my head lol

[hawkeyedflame]

Was bored today and decided to listen to the negative ion accessory guy at the Mall's sales pitch. Now I'm gonna go home and do research into how much of that is based in real science and how much of that was placebo effect/power of suggestion used to sell over priced chotchkies. Was wondering if you had an opinion on the matter since it'd be interesting to hear if so. Fell free to ignore and I hope you and the wife are having a wonderful day

Hmm well it is true that our bodies undergo ion exchange with the earth in the absence of modern hindrances such as artificial floors and shoes, but I am not familiar with any primary literature on whether this confers a significant health benefit, if such literature exists. I have read opinion pieces and watched some videos on it, but I haven't sought out anything like randomized controlled studies, mainly because it falls just below a threshold of interest for me to deep dive.

My opinion? It is probably beneficial to experience ion exchange with the earth. My reasoning is that our bodies have adapted over millions and millions of years to live harmoniously in our environments, and the existence of things like shoes that block ion exchange in our daily lives is an extremely novel phenomenon from an evolutionary perspective. Biological systems are so complex it's impossible to say that there is no interaction between our bodies and some part of the environment. I mean, we can't see infrared light but it penetrates our bodies down to our bone marrow, and our spinal fluid is capable of reflecting it. That is an adaption that serves a biological purpose even though it is well beyond our ability to observe with our senses. Similarly, we can't see the flow of ions in space, nor feel them move between us and the earth. But that does not mean ion exchange doesn't have a role to play in our physiology.

That being said, I have no idea if negative ion accessories confer any sort of health benefit at all. I don't know how they claim to work. My instinct would be to wonder how something that is worn on the body but not connected to the ground could facilitate ion exchange with the earth.

And I will say, anecdotally, that little else feels better than digging your feet into a fresh patch of dirt on a summer day. Is it the ion exchange? Maybe there's a chemical interaction with soil microbes on the surface of the skin, too. Who knows? Science is vast.

[entomophagouserisian]

I am amazed at this piece. It is beautiful and I can only hope to be skilled enough to make something like it in the future. And yeah, No one will ever buy it because it should be worth $100k+. Trying to monetize this kind of art limits people to little chotchkies that take little enough effort and material to be safely sold at what would be considered "kinda pricey" compared to the same product made in a factory or sweatshop.

[carrutherst]

Movies at the Workplace!

Our Top 10 Employees of the Week Mike and Sully, Monsters Inc. (2001) Buddy the Elf, Elf (2003) Marge, Fargo (1996) Brian the Chotchkie’s waiter, Office Space (1999) Nick Naylor, Thank You For Smoking (2005) Sacha Pfeiffer and Mike Rezendez, Spotlight (2015) Dorothy Boyd, Jerry Maguire (1996) Erin Brockovich, Erin Brockovich (2000) Mrs. Potts, Beauty and the Beast (1991) Marta Cabrera, Knives…

[ourceliumnetwork]

okay well. again. small blessings in my eternal curses: because it takes me approximately 4 business years to unpack anything, most of my shit is pretty much ready to go, the main issues were getting the Chotchkies pt *mumbles* into a container. i still have a few things left that need to be.... stowed. but like. for the most part i think everything is like. done??

i'm still having Complex Feelings re: bio fam and my birthday. but like.

my chosen family? have made me mix cds so i can play music i enjoy in my car. have helped me figure out my mental and emotional issues and start working on them. have watched my favorite animes with me, and introduced me to new favorites. have helped me with my eating habits and improving them so that i'm not starving myself accidentally or on purpose nearly as much anymore. have given me the freedom to actually be myself and every birthday since i moved up to Michigan has been an improvement on the last. even with a move. even with the fucking SNOW wtf. even with my physical and mental health issues.

i feel like 32 is going to be a good year for me. we'll see how accurate that is next year but... i think it's gonna be alright you guys. i think they were right when they told us all it gets better. cause it is. it is so much better.

[tofuingho]

If you're going to be immortal, you'd really have to nail down your housing situation.

Because A) it'd be kind of embarrassing to be 387 years old and still be renting and B) imagine how much shit you'd accumulate over the years.

That's the real reason vampires always live in mansions. All the rooms are filled with old hobbies and chotchkies.

people like to bring up things like "all your loved ones would die before you" as a concern re: immortality. But the real danger for me would be that i'd literally never get anything done again. I'd adopt the elvish lifestyle immediately. Not doing anything in a week that could be done in a century. Not getting anything done in a century that can be done in 10 centuries. Spending the next 100 years reading 1 book very slowly because i have infinite time and don't care.

[doctorslippery]

Chotchkie's...likes you to wear flair.

How many pieces of flair is honorable?

An honorable amount of flair isn't a number. The right amount of flair is the right amount of flair.

This is why junior officers stab senior officers to advance within the Chotchkie Empire.

[jassrain]

James had spent the last couple weeks cataloging the wizard's estate. He was halfway through the cupboard of magical chotchkies when he found the antiquated laptop. The company frowned on what he did next but his curiosity got the better of him, he opened the lid to see if it possibly worked, to his surprise it did, though it took a while to warm-up and load. While it did James took a break and read the postcard from his husband who was on a business trip to Hawaii. The laptop chirped and displayed "press escape key to continue". Without thinking he did and found himself on a beach with a woman in a grass skirt offering him a daiquiri.

[victorycoffin]

Another one down. First time painting bronze. Met with a few bits of resistance and pushed through anyway. If you’ve read ‘The War of Art’ you know what I’m talking about. 👊 #evolve #evolveartists #evolveart #oldhollandpaints #oilpainting #art #createsomething #chotchkies #resistance #dothework #warofart #evolveblock3 @evolveartist https://www.instagram.com/p/Bphlc4LHNIv/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1a1xxozoqlgzv

[wickdcreatures]

          “ Of course he wouldn’t, ”     with wine glass in hand, Tabby slithers into the living room, now poking and prodding the little chotchkies and decorations nestled on bookshelves or on the fireplace mantle,     “ Why would he? He knows you're fragile. Fragile and so desperately sad. Weeping Willow, always crying. ”

She pushes silky, long hair over her shoulder, eyes sharp as they peer back at the tearful eyes of her host. She’s quiet, letting Willow stew in the silence as she struggles with her trembling lip. Tabby grins.

          “ You sure have your roots deep in him. God, you must make him so hungry. And you must make him so miserable. ”

Willow holds the glass in her hands and tries not to tremble. They haven't moved out of the kitchen. They should move out of the kitchen. It still smells like bleach, she thinks. Willow nods over to the direction of the living room and begins pacing over to her usual corner of the sofa when she falters slightly, hearing Tabby talk so nonchalantly about things she's sure Hawk wouldn't want her to know makes her feel nauseous.

She thinks of the desert, she thinks of herself crying in his arms, the confession on the tip of her tongue: I wanna die. And him reading her. Telling her exactly how she felt. Like you’re possessed, but it’s just you in there. Ain’t no exorcism, ain’t no relief. Just you, and all those bugs in your guts. He tried to eat himself. He hasn't felt peace in a long time. He's so tired. He almost let her bleed him dry.

I'll never say no.

Willow sits down, her eyes spilling over with tears. She doesn't know what to say.

"He never told me, no."

[ofvenus]

My gift to you. Free shipping store wide this weekend. https://www.etsy.com/shop/PeaceLoveFrog . . #chotchkies #freeshipping #payitforward #lovefl #hippie  #etsy #wanderlust #floridaartist #etsyshop #food #travelers #amateurphotography #foodie  #coffee #wine #knitting #crochetersofinstagram #crochet  #crafts #peace #boho #pink #flowers #roses #artsy #love #peace #motivation #inspiration #nomadiclife (at Peace Love Frog) https://www.instagram.com/p/CO3wOALLONl/?igshid=19fwgz2apnvis