#June Jily Challenge

[jilychallenge2023]

june jily challenge! GO READ winter in June

Falling (for you) Through The Snow

My fic for @jilychallenge2023 Winter in June Challenge. Partner: @wearingaberetinparis Prompt: You’re a snow artist and I think you just made a snowman(woman) that looks exactly like me… do you have anything to confess?

Lily Evans loathed the winter season.

She hated having to wear unwieldy scarves and large sweaters. She hated shivering and sneezing all the time. She hated the biting chill of the air. She hated the crunching of snow under her feet and having to shovel it out of the way. She hated even the merry carolers and especially the mistletoe she was allergic to.

It was honestly kind of ironic, because the man she was in love with was a snow artist and ice sculptor, which meant he basically personified All The Cold Things. Even imagining watching him make his intricate ice sculptures and snow craft made her smile.

She was that far gone.

Except that scenario was not at all plausible, firstly because she did not know the name of the man she was in love with, and secondly, he did not return her feelings. He was fixated on the The Unattainable Angel, or as Lily liked to call her, The One Who Had No Idea How Lucky She Was.

The name needed some work, but it conveyed her sentiment well enough.

She disliked disliking or competing with a fellow female but. . . Well, emotion did tend to disregard rational judgement and decision-making.

The love of her life thought ‘Effermont’ was a good pen-name, and she’d still fallen for him, so, well, love very clearly was one of those emotions.

It was her turn to write him, wasn’t it? It’d been nearly two days since she’d picked his letter up from Albus Dumbledore’s lovely little café Godric’s Hollow. If she left it much longer, he might think she’d abandoned him.

Or, more likely, that she’d died, seeing as he was rather full of himself on the exterior and would never believe anyone would deny themselves the opportunity to ‘bask in his reflected glory’ (his own words).

She’d grumble about the season to him. That always got him very cutely riled up.

Dear Eff,

Or should I say toff? I can’t believe you have a ski lodge! Are you going to it these hols? And what about your best friend/very annoying brother? Will he be going with you or is his wicked family going to trap him into one of their horror movie family reunions?

I can’t believe it’s winter again. I hate this season so much!

I can just see your face (I mean, I would I if I knew what it looked like) looking so annoyed. I know you like the winter, Eff. It’s the only flaw in your oh-so-perfect self.

I mean, winter is just plain annoying. With literally none of the good things other seasons bring! What comes in the winter? Slipping on the ice? Strawberries?

In other news, my sister and her husband came to visit home and my mum ordered me back, so I spent this weekend in my house in dodgy old Cokeworth. You haven’t heard of it. It’d be a no-name except I just wrote its name, so.

My nephew is a sweet baby, the cutest and chubbiest one on the planet. My sister on the other hand. . . Well, I’ll leave it at ‘we could get along better’. But you already know that. You probably know more of my sister and my relationship than anyone except my old best friend, but talking about him really brings down my mood so I’m not going to do that.

Not that much needs to happen for that. Winter is coming, after all. Winter is already here and that is such a pity.

She bought me this really ugly pink sweater. I’m sure it’s not lost on her that I’m a redhead and therefore ANY pink looks absolutely terrible on me, much less this garish monstrosity that makes me want to poke my eyes out when I look in the mirror while wearing it.

Redheads look terrible in pink. And basically any colour on the red spectrum. It’s a fact of life, and one she knows VERY well.

And she had the nerve to say it suited my personality? I’m sorry, what?

Honestly, sometimes I just want to kill her. And not in the good way – like how you say it about your very annoying best friend/brother.

How goes the life-ending heart rending love for The Unattainable Angel? You didn’t talk about that in your last letter, which is odd. Your letters are usually full of romantic woes. No judgement, mine were too, back when I actually had a romantic life to speak of.

How are your friends? Got into any ridiculous shenangians lately? Have you talked to your mother since your last letter? It sounds like you argued pretty badly and I know she’s very important to you, Mama’s boy.

In all seriousness, don’t let the bitterness fester. It does so too easily, and honestly, I’m a prime example. Don’t let one argument ruin such a wonderful relationship, Eff.

Onto lighter topics. I tried the flavour you recommended at Godric’s. It was good. Just the right amount of bitterness to offset the sweetness. Finally, we can say we both like a coffee flavour! It looked impossible for a while there.

And no, Katniss and Gale would definitely not make a good couple! The sheer amount of sweets you like to have is rotting your brain, Eff. Everlark all the way, thank you very much.

How are your studies going? Mine are going pretty well. At least you don’t need to take a Sociology class which requires you to send letters out to complete strangers in the hopes they’ll reply. I can’t regret picking this social experiment, though, because it got me you, and that made it pretty much worth it.

Pretty much. Weighing it out.

No letter hassle v. No Eff. Hmmm. Hard to say.

Kidding.

Continuing the getting to know you game: I hate, hate, HATE answering this but the embarrassing story about me my mum and dad just adore telling people is the time I went around the house narrating everything that was happening just in case we had cameras recording us for a reality show. Or the time I was flower-girl at my aunt’s wedding and I threw all the flowers on her new husband’s really annoying father’s head. Or the time I tried to cut my hair with safety scissors and had to get a bob cut to rectify the mess. Or the leash story. God, the leash story. You don’t want to know it. It’s even more mortifying as an adult.

If I could holiday anywhere, it’d be Italy. Venice and Rome especially! The thought of going along on a little gondola is just really fun, and Rome has all the history I love. History’s been my favourite subject since I was a kid. Not that I could ever tell dad. Maths has obviously been my sister’s and my favourite since we were kids and still is.

He still isn’t over me studying law.

So, for you! If you could have any name other than your given one (obviously, I don’t know what it is, so please don’t trick me by just using that!) what would it be? If you could have any pet, which animal and why?

And write something for me. You’re a psychology student, psychoanalyze me and write me something I’d like. I know, I know, your artistic talents tend towards visual – being a snow artist and all –  rather than literature, I’m the literature swot between us, but I recorded that song on the piano and sent it to you, didn’t I?

I hope the walls of your house didn’t collapse from how bad that was.

Lots of love,

Flower.

Her pining didn’t show through that, Lily thought, pleased. Nor did her bitterness at asking about The Unattainable Angel. Lily despised the thought of seeing the other girl as a competitor – and she didn’t – but she didn’t need to drive a stake through her heart by repeatedly hearing about her.

But she had long decided the only way to get over a hopeless crush was to power through it while making her heart bleed over and over. Hence the asking.

She folded the letter and slid it into the envelope.

“Lily!” Mary called from the hall. “Are you done getting ready?”

Lily froze guiltily. She’d completely forgotten about the party in favour of venting her frustrations at Eff. He was very good at taking that. He was quite possibly the best pen pal in the universe, except she had no objective way of measuring that.

Subjectively, he absolutely was.

But back to the moment.

“Er, not yet,” she yelled back to her roommate. “Give me a minute!”

She quickly put on the dress Eliza had gotten out for her earlier – much to her protestations then and now relief that she didn’t have to select one herself – and did her makeup. It wasn’t anywhere near what she would have typically done for a party.

“Your minute means an hour,” Mary was exaggeratedly complaining as she slipped out of her room. She frowned at her. “Why do you look like you threw that together in thirty seconds?”

Probably because she had.

“Never mind that,” Eliza said like the godsend she was. “Mare, do her hair while I get the mascara.”

“I don’t get why you guys treat me like a baby,” Lily grumbled, even as grateful as she was.

Eliza pinched her cheek. “Oh poor jelly-baby,” she cooed her very demeaning nickname for Lily.

“Quit acting like one then,” Mary suggested rudely, parting her hair.

“We’re stopping by Godric’s on the way.” Lily announced as she started driving on the icy roads, finally entirely ready. She looked in the rearview mirror for a moment. She looked amazing. Mary and Eliza were miracle workers.

Mary groaned. “Oh, come on. Do you do anything other than write to your beloved Effermont?”

Mary was very disapproving of the whole letter-writing thing: both the concept of writing to a stranger and the reopening of her very tender wounds of heartbreak every time.

“Plenty,” she replied drily. “Listen to your opinions regarding it, for one.”

“I’m just worried about you, Lils!” She called after her as she left the car. They’d reached Godric’s Hollow café.

Fair enough.

Albus Dumbledore’s eyes twinkled as brightly as ever as he took her letter outside his café. “Your Effermont is in there right now,” he said amusedly. She flushed at the ‘your’ before actually registering the sentence.

“Oh my God,” she said, feeling a thrill run up her. This was the first time they’d ever been this close to each other – that Lily knew of, anyway. “I should go then. Don’t want him discovering my identity.”

“Of course. Is this the actual letter or simply the directions? For I fear he’s in somewhat of a hurry,” Albus said.

Lily grinned. Eff had made her drink his coffee recommendation – good and not ridiculously sweet for once – before she could get his last letter. She’d once made him climb a tree. He’d once given her a series of riddles to solve before Albus gave her his letter. It was fun, but also not something you could do quickly, and Lily’s grumble fest had been pretty quick. Their letters typically reached seven or eight pages.

“The letter itself,” she assured him, shaking his hand before striding back to the car. Mary frowned disapprovingly, and Eliza gave her a thumbs up.

Mary lectured her about the letters all through the drive, making her very relieved to come up the driveway of the house where Benjy Fenwick was hosting the party.

“That is one big ass house,” she said under her breath as she leaned against her car after parking. Mary and Eliza were already inside.

“Isn’t it just?” Remus Lupin smiled at her, looking as tired as always. “Fenwick has a really huge inheritance.”

She bit back the instinctive ‘how are you’ – she was sure a chronically sick person like him was sick of that (pun unintended) – and instead asked, “Where are your mates?”

He waved vaguely at the house. “Sirius and Peter are in there, causing trouble no doubt, but James got. . . Delayed.” There was a wry twist to the last word that suggested disapproval or amusement. Lily couldn’t tell. “I’m waiting for him now, in fact.”

Alarm reared in her head. The last thing she wanted was to run into James Potter. She didn’t loathe him anymore the way she had in high school, but that didn’t mean she wanted to see him.

Too bad for her.

“Hey, Moony! I’ve got a new—” James Potter stopped short at the sight of her, blinking. He was casually handsome in a polo shirt and jacket and trousers, hair tousled, his spectacles lopsided on his angular face. “Evans.”

“Potter,” she said briskly. “I’ll see you in class, Remus.” She moved towards the house, when Potter grabbed her arm. It was gentle, not restricting or pulling, but it felt like a jolt of electricity ran up her arm. “Don’t touch me!”

She turned to glare at him. He backed up in alarm, holding his hands up. “Sorry, Evans. Just had a question.”

She breathed through her irritation. “What is it?”

“Can I use you as a model?”

“A model for what?” She stared at him.

Potter faltered, “I – uh, I’m an artist of sorts. And I was just wondering, for this commission—”

“You can,” she said brusquely, moving again. She modelled for art classes for extra money. She was used to being a muse for people. She didn’t know why Potter had asked in the first place but. . . It was considerate of him.

Maybe he wasn’t that bad.

On second thought, nah. She remembered the utter fiasco he’d created last week in the mess hall.

Potter was, for some reason, the person she disliked most among the self-proclaimed Marauders. Perhaps it was his brief obsession with asking her out back in high school, or the fact that he’d been the main perpetrator in Sev being bullied. But she immensely disliked talking to or being around him either way, so it didn’t really matter.

She rejoined Eliza – Mary was off somewhere with her toy of the night, this time Hestia Jones – and thankfully managed to avoid all the Marauders for the rest of the party.

She even managed to enjoy herself, drinking a fair bit, dancing, playing a couple games and giving her number to a cute guy who might actually help her get over Eff.

All in all not a half bad night. She’d gone to worse parties.

She found herself back in Godric’s Hollow the two evenings later, listening to Marshmello on her headphones, sipping a Frappuccino (bitter, obviously) and finishing editing her assignment in Trade Relations.

“Lily,” Albus called. She looked up enquiringly, slipping her headphones down her neck. “A note from your Effermont.”

The whole world lit up from its previously dull colours. She eagerly took the folded paper from the barista, reading the scrawled message. Eff had a weird handwriting: it was like he’d been taught calligraphy, but didn’t have the time or the bother to either use it properly or disregard it completely.

It was charming. She loved it.

You will find your letter at the following place: 1. Dog Walkers for Hire 2. Home Repair 3. Symphony Orchestra

Lily closed her laptop and packed her things hurriedly, eagerness swimming through her. She’d figured out the place easily, and rushed to the intersection, grabbing the letter (with a laugh at the fact that a Congrats! Sticker was stamped on the envelope) and walked back to the flat, pulling her shawl tighter around herself.

God, she hated the cold.

 Eff was as irascibly cheerful as ever.

To the Prettiest Flower in Existence, started the letter, making Lily blush delightedly.

It is I, your beloved Eff! I hope you haven’t missed me too much. It took a while to set up the hunt and write down everything I wanted to do. My mum goes crazy for Christmas. She’s hired all these decorators for the manor, and I can just hear you say ‘toff’! (If I knew what your voice sounded like, of course). So my very annoying best friend/brother and I had to clear off for a bit, and then my other friend had this episode with his illness and. . .

Well, anyway, I was busy. And things are all fine now. Mum isn’t going any less crazy, sadly, but the rest of it’s sorted.

To answer your questions: Honestly, I’m not sure what name I’d like. My dad and mum have these really ridiculous names, you’d laugh if you ever heard them. Seriously. And my best friends too. So I think I’d either want some stupidly fancy thing to match them (not likely) – like Theodore, or Romulus, or Perseus, or Octavius or Septimus. More likely some nice, common name like mine. So. . . Tom maybe. Tom sounds nice. Or Alastair. That’s a cool name too. Daniel. Sam. Alex. Noah. Henry, like my granddad. And I would love to be a Finnick, obviously. After my favourite character, even if it would invite jokes about being too finicky.

Honestly, it’s impossible to choose! Just like you to give these weird philosophical questions, Flower. I had to ask my parents why they chose the name James and all that, so points for giving me a chance to learn some family history plus some terrible details of their sex life I never wanted to know.

As for the second one, an owl. Hands down. I don’t need a dog, because my best friend/brother is practically one, minus the obedience part. An owl just sounds really amazing. Nocturnal animal, for one. It could keep me company on my night study sessions. Did you know they can rotate their necks upto 270 degrees?? And that they have asymmetrical ears? Plus they could be like carrier pigeons! Delivery owls! I’d train them. In fact, I want to be an owl trainer when I grow up. Forget my Psychology and Philosophy degree.

You’ve probably gathered from some of the other comments that I made up with mum. You were right. Naturally. You’re probably always right, and just incredible like that. I was a bit hesitant about making the first apology (my pride yada yada, psychoanalyzing and all) but your letter convinced me, so. . . Thanks for that, Flower. You’re the best.

I have heard of Cokeworth, actually. It’s where The Unattainable Angel is from, which is such a coincidence! Do you think you might know one another? You’re both about the same age – mine – and I gather it’s a fairly small town so you must, yeah?

I am extremely offended at your disparaging winter, Flower. My favourite season! I’m sorry, we’re over. I can’t write to someone who hates something so meaningful to me. I’m a snow artist! It’s a bit weird, isn’t it, that we’re writing to one another? Months after your first generic letter for your project? You dislike sweet stuff, I love it. You hate winter, and the winter is literally my livelihood. You ship Everlark, I ship Everthorne. BTW, you’re wrong about that. Like, so wrong. Attached is a list of reasons Everthorne would work. I love Katniss and Gale together!

Attached is also a story I wrote for you. Feel honoured, Flower. I don’t do this for just anybody. Also, don’t come at me when you find that it’s absolutely awful. I know. Like you said, I’m not a writer. I’m an artist. A SNOW artist, so deal with it. Winter’s the best. Winter is already here, and that is AMAZING.

Speaking as an artist, I can assure you, pink does not look terrible on all redheads. The Unattainable Angel is a redhead, and she would look pretty in a garbage bag, so I refute your assertion. I bet you look good in pink too.

In order to prove that, I, the stunning snow artist that I am, will be making a sculpture of The Unattainable Angel in pink! It’s a commission I got last week, for this business party in a garden in the suburbs. It’s some fundraiser, sort of, plus networking – don’t ask me. My dad does this kind of stuff for his business, and it all goes way over my head. Who holds something like this in a garden though? And wants an ice sculpture for it? Especially one of a girl? I contemplated not doing it, especially because I don’t want her stared at by perverts, but she agreed, and she’s a model, so she’s probably used to it. . .

She’s so great. And so incredibly gorgeous. I can’t wait to get sculpting! It’ll turn out beautiful, I’m sure. Anything would, with her as model.

Ouch about your sister, though. I can’t believe she said that. I’m sorry your relationship has soured so much. My best friend/adopted brother is the worst and most annoying person on the planet, but I can’t imagine my life or myself without him. I’m sorry you’ve lost that closeness. I’m sure it must be hard.

The Unattainable Angel is as, well, unattainable as ever. She really, really hates me. So nothing new on that front, except I actually managed words to ask her if she can be my model for the sculpture, to prove something to you and for the commission – the first more than the second ;)

Trust me, you don’t want to know about my friends. Really. Like I said, my chronically ill friend had an episode, but he’s fine now. But really. My brother and our other friend did this so stupid thing yesterday. . . It involved flag poles. And jumping off buildings. They may have been a tad drunk.

They must have been – either that, or clinically insane. And my mum still didn’t scold him! She’s definitely playing favourites. And I am not pouting about it. Also, I am so not a Mama’s boy, Flower! You take that back!

My studies are going well. I got an A on that test I wrote to you about being nervous about, so that’s a relief. It’s so weird to think we’re already well into our second year. It feels like I’m still at high school sometimes. The general stupidity of the population doesn’t change no matter where you are, I’m sure you would say. But still.

Yeeees, soon we’ll bring you onto the dark side Flower! Soon you’ll be consuming the sugariest and sweetest stuff known to mankind and loving it! In all seriousness, glad you liked the rec! I’m going to suggest white chocolate peppermint tea now. It’s a Godric’s special. It’s pretty sweet, but I think you’ll like it. Or maybe not. Try it and tell me!

I absolutely want to know the leash story! Tell me, tell me, tell me! Pretty please with a cherry on top? I’m sending you puppy eyes right now. I wish you could see. My mum tells me my puppy dog begging eyes are absolutely lethal. I bet you’d cave in an instant. I wish we could meet in person. I know you don’t want to – just an idle wish.

Also, wow. Those stories are hilarious. Not as stupidly embarrassing as ones my mum insists on telling though. She brings out the baby album every. time. somebody visits. It’s so stupid! And my brother is no help, he just keeps laughing, especially because there aren’t any baby photos of him.

I bet you looked cute with your bob cut, though. How old were you then? The thought that people might be watching us in some reality show is pretty scary. Thanks for the nightmares, Flower.

Continuing the game: Tell me your favourite traditions for a holiday. Any holiday. And if you could have any three books survive the apocalypse with you, which would they be?

I want you to write down five things you even slightly like about the winter. As a snow artist, I demand that my pen pal/closest female friend like at least something about it. If you could send me that piano recording (which wasn’t that bad by the way) you can do this. For me? With puppy dog eyes again.

Lots of love,

Effermont.

Lily was smiling instinctively as she read through the letter, already composing a reply inside her head. She couldn’t help it. Eff was so effortlessly cheerfully charming. God, she was so hopelessly in love with him. Even as he pined after The Unattainable Angel. Who sounded like a bitch who had no idea what she had.

Lily sighed and tried to let go of that misplaced anger. She just wished she could have Eff like her. He did seem like he was flirting sometimes. It got her hopes up when they oughtn’t.

Maybe Mary was right. Maybe this was bad for her.

But at the same time – she couldn’t stomach the thought of this stopping. Of never receiving a letter from him again. Of never laughing at his random thoughts and smiley faces. Of never feeling that despairing love again.

There was no good choice.

She let her chin drop onto her palm as she scanned the letter again idly, stopping at the places where he complimented her, blushing and feeling nerves stir in her stomach. Stopping where he described his latest commission, she frowned.

That sounded familiar. Lily thought about it, putting the letter and the attached papers away for later reading and replying. A networking event. Garden. In the suburbs. Ice. . . Then it clicked.

Marlene’s mum’s company was having a gala in the garden just outside her house. A semi-informal one. Marley had talked to her about the ice statue of a girl they’d ordered for it. Someone in the family had been commissioned.

Lily’s heart skipped a beat. Someone in Marley’s family could be Eff. The thought was almost dangerous. She’d met her friend’s immediate family a couple times. Her mind was immediately racing: she had two brothers. And multiple male cousins. One of them. . .

But would knowing be a good thing? Did she want to know who Eff really was?

Yes, her traitorous heart replied. Of course she wanted to know whom she was in love with.

But the more sensible part of her protested. She already liked him enough. Knowing his true identity, seeing him around the Hogwarts campus – that might literally shatter her. She didn’t know if she could handle it.

But Lily was impulsive, reckless. It was somethine Tuney and Sev had derided her for multiple times. It was part of who she was. She took out her phone and shot a message to Marlene, asking if she could come to her mum’s party, on account of being a law student and networking.

It wasn’t a lie. Meeting influential people would be useful.

But she knew her main reason for asking. And it was purely personal.

The party was nice – a much classier affair than the high school and college parties she’d been to, thankfully. She chatted with several people, made nice and got business cards, all the while looking for an ice sculpture of a girl, heart thumping.

“Lily!” Marlene called. “Hey, crazy coincidence you’re here.”

“Why is that?” She asked, putting her glass of wine down and making her way to her friend.

Marley pointed vaguely in the direction behind her. “This ice statue— it’s of a girl, and—”

Lily didn’t bother listening further, turning and making her way in that direction. Then she saw the statue, and came to a standstill.

It was her. It was her, in pink clothes, just as Eff had promised. It was her right down to the curves of her hair and the green in her eyes and the smile on her face.

Eff had used her as the model for his commission.

She was The Unattainable Angel.

Her mind went blank. Her whole body felt numb, and not from the cold. Her hands were trembling.

Eff was in love with her. He was every bit in love with her as she was with him, judging by his letters.

She had to—she had to find him. She had to tell him. She had to move. She had to do something.

But what?

Dear Eff,

I saw the statue you made for the McKinnon Offices’ Business Party. I know her. I want to meet. I think I can help you finally attain The Unattainable Angel.

Love,

Flower

To the Flower of Utter Amazingness,

You want to meet??! Like, seriously?? Tell me this isn’t a joke, Flower. I’ve wanted this for ages.

I can’t believe you saw the statue.

So you do know Evans, huh. Small world.

Godric’s Hollow? The table where you left your first letter? 5 pm on Monday?

Lots and lots of love,

Effermont

Dear Eff,

Smaller than you might think, actually.

I’ll see you there.

Lots of love,

Flower

Lily was dying of anticipation.

She wasn’t one to tend to hyperbole like that – but this was an extraordinary situation. She was about to meet the man she was head-over-heels in love with. She felt that deserved some exaggeration.

It was four fifty-five on Monday. Lily had her book bag swung over her shoulder, too wrecked with nerves to go back to her apartment post classes.

She was going to meet Eff!

She. Was. Going. To. Meet. Her. Pen-Pal.

It still wouldn’t quite sink in.

She sat on a bench across the road from the café, with the table they were supposed to meet at well within view. She wasn’t willing to be seen as – well, desperate, and reach first, and she wanted to have a chance to assess after she was blindsided by information.

Lily liked to be in control of things.

It was why she found herself so extremely annoyed when James Potter of all people sat in at the table, moments after she’d taken her own seat. Why did he have to pick now to come to Godric’s? And that particular seat?

Eff would come soon and ask him to move away, she thought hopefully. She kept a keen eye out for anyone approaching that particular table, but no one did.

Bitterness welled deep in her twenty minutes into the wait. She couldn’t believe Eff had stood her up like this. It was ridiculous. He’d seemed so excited in his letter. Even Albus had chuckled to her about it. Had something gone wrong on his side? Was he perhaps waiting, not wanting to eject someone from their seat?

Nah. He was too arrogant for that.

Impulsively, she stood and made her way to that table. Maybe there was a note? Another letter?

“Evans!” Potter – squeaked, flailing about undignifiedly. He was always so odd around her. She despised him, but he seemed to waver between awkward and sleazy around her. Which was a pity. He wasn’t bad looking and Mary kept insisting he’d grown up since high school.

Lily didn’t really see how bullies grew up.

“Potter.” she said shortly.

“Did you, uh, want the table?” Potter stood up quickly, hands in his pockets. She could understand that. Lily hated sitting when someone was looming over her. She opened her mouth to tell him to keep the table when: “I was just waiting for someone—”

Dread encapsulated her. Dots which she really didn’t need at that moment connected. “Who?” She asked urgently.

He blinked at her. “Who?” She asked again, impatient and nervous and scared and excited and disgusted and anxious and apprehensive all at once.

“Just a, er, friend— we’ve never met before so this was the meeting place we decided – but she’s late—”

“A pen-pal?” She asked quietly. “Eff?”

Wonder took over his face. He smiled blindingly, hand lifting as though to touch her face before he put it down. “Flower?” He said quietly.

They stared at one another for a moment.

“I can’t believe it’s you—” He laughed lightly.

James Potter. James Potter. The one who’d tugged on her pigtails and dumped paint all over her and teased her about her drawing and told her she was beautiful and amazing and relentlessly persecuted Sev and partnered with her for a Science Project and won the lacrosse championship for their school.

James Potter.

Was Eff. Effermont. Who was always cheerful, had ready jokes, was arrogantly charming, a shoulder for her to cry on, and was the one person she trusted and relied on most.

Whom she was in love with.

Feeling suffocated and trapped all of a sudden, she turned. “I can’t either,” she snapped curtly, walking briskly outside.

“Hey, Evans? What – where are you – Flower!”

Ignoring the urge to stop at the final call, she jogged back home, burying the need to cry deep inside.

“I. . . Don’t get it, Lils.” Mary said, frowning. “So the pen-pal you were head-over-heels for turns out to be a guy with a great bod and an even better brain? What’s to whine about?”

Lily stared at her best friend disbelievingly. “You don’t get it? Mare! It’s James Potter! I’m in love with James Potter!”

“Yeah. So?”

“It’s. . .” Lily couldn’t help it; she got up and began to pace. “It’s so. . . Confusing, I guess. I mean. I didn’t like Potter. I still don’t like him, frankly.”

“Oh, not this again,” Mary groaned. “Come on, Lily. Haven’t you been dragging this high school feud long enough?”

“He was an asshole!” Lily raged. “He bullied Sev!”

“Who gave back every bit he got,” she pointed out. “Look, I’m not saying Potter was right to do it, ganging up on Snape and doing all those awful things to him. It was terrible. It was wrong. But. . . It was years ago. You got to know Potter in a completely new, objective way. And you fell in love with him. Doesn’t that say something?”

Lily scowled, turning away from her friend. It did. It said several things.

It wasn’t as though she’d only hated Potter, even back then in high school. He’d asked her out repetitively during that one phase. He’d managed to cheer her up with his dumb jokes more than one time. He’d been an excellent partner for that one project they’d been paired up for. He’d been the only one who could keep up with her in the Debate Team – they’d used to argue until they were breathless, chests heaving.

Knowing Potter had been exhilarating even then. He was a constantly tempestuous ride, and she’d never known which side she was about to get – awkward Potter who couldn’t string together a sentence around her, the coolly confident one who teased and argued with her, the passionate jock she’d cheer on in the field, the bullying toerag who got off on the misery of others.

He was a dichotomy. Always.

But she’d never once gotten that vibe from Eff. Could he be arrogant, condescending, disregarding of others’ feelings occasionally and accidentally? Sure. But he was a good man at heart. Lily wouldn’t have set up a meeting if she didn’t believe that.

But Eff being James Potter. . .

And she was The Unattainable Angel. She, Lily Evans! She couldn’t believe it. And she couldn’t deny that thought made her heart flutter in a way it hadn’t in years.

Her mind made the decision quickly. “Okay. Yes. You’re right.” Her heart was pounding.

“I cannot believe you said that!” Mary cheered. “The Best To-Be Lawyer and Judge in the world said I’m right! Woohoo! Where’s my phone, I need to record this.”

“Shut up.” Lily rolled her eyes, ducking her head at the compliments. “But. . . I don’t have his number. What do I do? What if he hates me? What if—”

“Lil. Chill. That guy isn’t capable of hating you,” Mary said reassuringly. “And you have his best mate’s number. Call Lupin. Ask him to . . . I don’t know, connect you with Potter.”

“Okay,” Lily breathed, rubbing at her chest. “Okay. Thanks, Mare. You’re the best.”

“I know.” Her friend smiled smugly. “Go get him, girl!”

Hey, she texted Remus.

Hey, came a text back, only five minutes later. What’s up?

Can you send me Potter’s number? She asked without preamble.

There were the three dots, indicating he was typing. Then they disappeared. And reappeared.

You really hurt him, Lily, was the final message.

She stared at it. Tapped on the screen while she figured out her reply.

I know. I want to make up for it.

There. She thought that conveyed the sentiment, even though the phrasing was awkward and not her best. She just. . . Really couldn’t think about anything. Love had that effect.

There was no reply in words – just a number. Heart pounding, she sent him a thank you before saving Potter’s number in her mobile and starting to message him.

She went through several drafts in her head before she decided he would appreciate casualness the best.

Hi, Eff, she sent. I’m so sorry about today. Do over?

As Her Floweriness commands, was the reply, setting her at ease the way only he could do. The main fountain on the school campus okay with you, Evans? Tomorrow evening, 7:00?

Absolutely. See you then, Potter.

No running away this time?

Definitely not.

And it was done. Lily rolled over in her bed, grabbing her pen and journal, an idea striking her.

There was no better way.

She sat on the fountain, watching the water spring from the funnel, tired and excited and scared. Snow fell around her, landing softly. It was only fair, Lily supposed, that she be the one to wait this time. Still. It wasn’t easy.

“Evans,” someone breathed, and Lily spun around hastily, nearly tripping into the water. He caught her, one hand around her waist and the other grabbing hers. “Easy there.”

She froze, tingling sensations spreading from the place his hands touched. She wanted to stay there forever. She wanted to rip herself away. She turned to him slowly. “Potter.”

He let go of her, stuffing his hands in his pockets, the corners of his eyes crinkling. She felt oddly bereft.

“I, um—”

“Maybe we should—”

They paused, having started speaking at the same time. Lily cleared her throat. “I. Wrote this for you.” She thrust her letter at him.

He blinked at it. “Wow.” Why didn’t he take it? Did he hate her? Did he not want it? Did he have some other idea of how this was going to go? Was he— “That’s weird. I wrote a letter for you too.” He took something out of his pocket: an envelope.

They stared at one another. She couldn’t believe they’d had the same idea. It was ridiculous. Connecting. Soulmating, if she believed in those crap romance novels Eliza liked to read. Hand trembling, she reached out to take his. They exchanged envelopes.

Lily tore her eyes from his face to the letter in her hands.

Lily-Flower,

Thanks for running away, Evans. I really needed that. Real nice of you—

Sorry about that. Just. . . Got a bit angry.

Hey, Flower. I can’t believe you’re Lily Evans. The girl I’ve been pining over like an idiot since high school. Yes, you can gasp in shock and recoil in disgust. Doesn’t change the fact that I’ve got a massive crush on you.

No. That doesn’t sum it up.

I am absolutely, utterly, horrendously in love with you.

I don’t have the way with words you do. So. . . I’m not sure how. . . I guess I was halfway there even with my friend and pen-pal Flower. Padfoot, Moony and Wormtail always used to get these looks on their faces whenever I told them about the letters. But I was too hung up on you, Evans. You were. Well. You were The Unattainable Angel after all.

First and foremost, you’re my friend. And you don’t have to be. If you never want to see me again, call quits on the letters, that’s fine. I just hope you read this. One last letter from Effermont to Flower, eh?

I guess I can tell you why I picked that name now. My mum’s name is Euphemia. And you know my dad’s name is Fleamont. It was a kind of combination of their names. Plus, it sounds a bit like effeminate – which, I know is sometimes used as a slur, but you thought I was a girl when we first began writing. It was a joke.

A mean one. I know. I thought a lot about why you ran away like that. I was angry. Hurt. Still am, honestly. But I guess I can understand. I know you, Flower. I know you pretty well. So I can understand you running away to deal with your emotions.

I just hope you don’t mind this contact.

I haven’t. . . Always been the best person. I know that. And I don’t think I would have liked the person I would have turned out to be if I had continued like that. It’s. Hard. I was always arrogant, entitled, and jealous and bullying. . . And. It’s hard to describe.

And I know you hated me back then in high school, especially when I asked you out – which was all serious, by the way. I know you thought that me making a production of it was because it was a joke. It wasn’t.

Your hating me’s your prerogative, obviously.

I suppose I understand reconciling your friend with someone you loathe is hard.

Anyway. I’m just writing this to say. . . It’s okay. Whatever you want to do.

And I am still as in love with you as ever, Lily Evans. I didn’t need you to sing in the assembly like Peeta did (I hope you appreciate me making an Everlark reference). I just am. Have been for ages. Seems, at this point, like I always will be.

Yours,

Eff James Potter

Lily swallowed. She lowered the letter, looking at Potter. His face was intent, hopeful, wary. He was obviously done with her letter, folding it over and over in his hands.

“Since high school?” She whispered. “All those times. . . You were serious?”

He huffed out a laugh. “Yeah, Lily. I really, really was.”

He was calling her Lily now, she noticed vaguely. “You said whatever I want to do, you’re okay with it,” she said.

A flash of uncertainty. “Yeah. ‘Course. I meant that. Still do.” he assured her.

“And you don’t understand from my letter what that would be?” She asked, tone slightly teasing.

“Weeeeeell. . .” He dragged out the word, smirking a lopsided grin that made him very attractive. “You could stand to be a bit clearer.”

“Okay,” she said softly, walking closer to him. She could see the way snow fell on his head, the way the droplets clung to his lashes. The way his eyes, the golden flecks in the hazel, softened when they landed on her. “I am ardently, steadfastly, horrendously in love with you, Eff. James Potter.”

And she leaned up and kissed him.

He gasped, still for a moment, before kissing back. The pressure was electric. It was comforting. It was warmth, in the snowy winter around them. His arm came up against her back, lightly pressing, supporting. Her hands trailed up to his shoulders.

They parted, saying nothing for a long moment, staring at one another softly. James cleared his throat. “You’ve – got some snow here,” he patted it off her shoulder gently, letting his hand linger, his thumb brushing her collarbone.

She shivered, not entirely due to the cold. “Ugh. I hate snow.” She complained, still lightheaded from the kissing. “I loathe the winter.”

He smiled, a small quirk of his lips. “Yeah, I know.” He took her hand bringing it up to his lips. “Not only bad things happen in winter, though.”

She felt her own face light up in response, curling her hand with his, interlocking their fingers. “I suppose not.” Lily replied. “You still can’t say anything good about the snow though.”

“She says to the snow artist. . .”

And they bickered, walking hand-in-hand through the snow.

[eastwindmlk]

For this June @jilychallenge decided to add one more instalment to my Ren Faire AU!

Part 1 Part 2

Prompt: Under the mistletoe at a work event

Partner: @fiendishfyre

This month's Galavant Song:

Maybe it was something about it being a leap year and down sort of retrograde. She would have to ask Ginger about that when lectures started again. Because it was only some sort of freak occurance in the stars or an ancient type of course that led Lily to be dressed up in het another fancy dress.

In all fairness, this was for charity. Something about education for underprivileged victims of… Frankly, Lily could not remember and it did not matter. She was doing this for a good cause and if that meant donning a krinoline and bonnet, singing Silent Night until she was ready to toss the glockenspiel in the large bonfire in the square. So be it.

She was going to do it with grace.

The night before the Dickens Christmas Market, Lily's mother had curled her hair and made her sleep with a silk cap on to ensure the ringlets would set just right.

That morning Lily had complained about just how fanatically her mother has pushed the pins onto her hair, securing the Holly adorned headdress to said perfect curls.

Now, on one of her very generous breaks to explore the foar herself, she was wriggling them free. Idely strolling past the stalls lined with sweets and chotchkies. Baubles and figurines. All things Lily did not particularly want or need. But they were so lovely.

Once past the lantern lit shops one of the vendors offered her a hot chocolate and to warm her up he'd added a very generous pour of orange liqueur. Something she gladly accepted, her cold fingers clutching at the souvenir mug.

She took a cheerful stroll along the cheerfully lot Christmas trees, humming an off tune rendition of We Wish you a Merry Christmas and letting her feet decide where they were heading.

After a short stroll, it seemed that her feet were particularly interested in the horse and carriages. Not that she was surprised, she'd been rather charmed by the notion of carriage rides in the snow.

Admittedly, she was a lot less charmed after she'd actually met a horse. The wild thing she'd mounted at some distant family friends farm had tried to throw her off as she desperately had clung to it's mane.

Only to be told later that the one she'd selected had never been broken in and was practically wild. They'd been so impressed with the fact that she'd managed to coax her way onto it's back that theyd nearly forgot to come to her rescue.

Ever since the she'd regarded everything equine with a healthy dose of reluctance.

She'd been assured that these were well trained and their handler was the picture of professionalism. She had nothing to worry about.

And so it came to be thar a slightly tipsy Lily approached the great black and white beast with conviction. Strolling up to it conveniently, only to jolt when it neighed loudly just as her hand reached out to stroke the silken coat.

“Well, aren't you a beauty,” she placated, her finger tips barely brushing its large head. “There is no fear in you, is there?” She asked it and as if she was understood, the horse breezed. Making her pull her hand back for a moment. Almost melting when it turned into her touch.

Its wet nose pressed against her palm and for just a moment, Lily revelled in the fact that this horse seemed to like her.

“Gertrude, you little minx,” the familiar voice from behind her scolded. “You are not flirting your way to another snack, you are on a diet.”

Lily couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of it all. One, the horse was named Gertrude. Gertrude! What kind of name was that? Certainly not something you’d call a horse. Two, was to feel a little betrayed by it. Her? For making her think she was after affection rather than a treat.

But all of that was overshadowed by the fact that she knew that voice, and that voice was not supposed to be here. That voice belonged to someone that looked far too dashing in his cape and top hat.

James. Sir James, if you will. Who she had thought about scandalously snogged the last time she had found herself at a costumed occasion. But despite there having been plenty of opportunities, they had not.

She looked at him with a coy smile, wondering how long it would take for him to recognize her with all these new trimmings. The hair and the bonnet really making a whole world of difference. “Should I start to worry that you’re stalking me?” she questioned after a moment of seemingly nothing.

There was something incredibly entertaining to watch the realization dawn on his face, like a light flickering on slowly, doubtfully at first. And then a bright smile lighting up his entire face. Suddenly leaning against the horse to inch just that little bit closer to her. “Fancy seeing you here.”

Lily knew that she should have rolled her eyes at this, but there was something about this man. Being around him made her want to be one of those swooning maidens, giggling and batting her eyelashes.

She rolled forward, balancing in the balls of her feet as she closed some of the distance between them. Her hand landing on his chest, pretending to pick a piece of straw off his lapel and running the thick fabric between her fingers. “So, what are you doing here?”

“Taking you on a carriage ride,” James answered casually, extending his hand to invite her to climb aboard. Motioning to the driver's bench and giving her a moment’s pause. Her heart was racing in her chest, a giddy feeling starting in her toes as he offered something she’d had wanted to do ever since she was a little girl.

The problem was that she was technically working. Could she really afford to be whisked awayHe reached to adjust the silk ribbon of her bonnet, playing his role of being brazen and charming bachelor. Smiling broadly enough to crinkle his eyes behind his lopsided glasses and flash a dimple that she had not noticed in their prior encounters.

He was still inching closer. Close enough to share the same breath, his finger curling behind the clasp holding her cape closed. Tugging her closer. “Where do you think you’re going?” James asked, his eyes flicking upward.

Lily followed his eyes upward, wondering what it was for. It did not take long to notice that dangling above them from the lantern dangled a bundle of delicate greens and pearly white berries.

Mistletoe.

She stared at it for a moment, wondering if she should make some excuse. She was working, he was working here too, it seemed. It was unprofessional and… Her train of thought disappeared when her eyes met his. In this light, she could see the flecks of green in the whirlpool of gold that drew her in.

Her eyelids fluttering, lashes brushing her cheeks before letting them close. The heat of his face close to hers was welcoming. The anticipation having build enough to ignore the musty scent of horse that clung to him.

Their noses bumped, his glassed pressed uncomfortably into her cheek but his lips met hers.

Finally.

Lily knew that this kiss should have felt incredible and romantic and hard-earned. But honestly, it was a little awkward and too wet for her liking. Objectively, it was a terrible kiss. Maybe one of the worst ones she’d had in a while.

But when he pulled away, all that she wanted to do is claim another one.

[tinyluminaryzombie]

Tried and True

@jilychallenge2023 @jilychallenge | Partner: @abihastastybeans | Winter in June (word count: 1,785)

Prompt: My friends dared me to jump in the pool/beach/lake/river in the middle of winter and those suckers took away the towel and only left my clothes and oh my god you’re standing nearby looking all beautiful and oh god, you’ve also seen me getting out of the water body naked

Good news: Lily finally has a few days off since she joined the Order. Bad news: She's spending her days off in a remote cabin with her ex and their friends. (Or: In which Lily grapples with ~feelings~, James gets some answers, and Wolfstar just gets some)

Read it on AO3

[wearingaberetinparis]

June Jily Challenge '23: You Make Snow Melt

Title: You Make Snow Melt

Theme: Winter in June

Partner: @diana-bookfairchild

Word Count: 4002 Words

Prompt: You’re a snow artist and I think you just made a snow man or snow woman that looks exactly like me… do you have anything to confess?

Lily’s favourite time of year was Autumn. She enjoyed the colours of the season, the way the trees shed their leaves, the cooler temperatures that allowed her to whip her Gryffindor scarf over her shoulders, but didn’t require her to wear a full-on winter cloak just yet. Not to mention, she had – from her very first day at the School for Witchcraft and Wizardry – loved the Hogwarts Hallowe’en Feast. She was – one could argue – fully in her element during this time of year. This could not, unfortunately, be said about Lily’s experiences in the middle of winter.

Short, but hopefully sweet. Enjoy this piece of winter fluff at the end of a very warm June, written for the Winter in June @jilychallenge.

[jilychallenge]

❄❄❄

WINTER IN JUNE!! another one to warm ourselves ;-)

Through Whispers and Promises

@jilychallenge | Winter in June | partner: @petals2fish

Prompt: We're wet and however will we warm each other? Oh! By taking off our wet clothes and using body heat, ofc!

Plot: Voldemort rises to power while the Marauders are still at school, inevitably forcing them to flee to survive. After a daring escape through the Forbidden Forest, Lily finally manages to Apparate her and James to a safe place.

Words: 1406

It was a risky move, Lily knew it. They had just started Apparition lessons, and she didn't remember where she wanted to go as clearly as the instructor had said was necessary, but it was a matter of life and death, and she was sure the Ministry had more serious business to worry about. By the time the news had reached the Gryffindor’s Common Room, through whispers of paintings and ghosts, the younger students had already gone to sleep, and only a few of the older ones were spread across the chairs and sofas, trying to finish their homework before sleep took over.

“We have to go,” James declared, interrupting the History of Magic quiz Marlene was giving her.

“They’re inside the castle?” Remus asked, jumping to his feet.

James just nodded, no need to specify who he was referring to. Even if they had tried to ignore it, everyone knew that sooner or later the Death Eaters would get there, they had only hoped to at least manage to finish the sixth year, turn seventeen and have a shot at joining the rebellion. All fantasies and hopes shattered now.

“What do we do? We wake up the others?” inquired Sirius, ready to sprint towards the dormitories, but Lily could tell from the heartbroken expression on Potter’s usually cheerful face that there was no time and they had to exploit the relative quietness of the castle.

“Take this,” he said to his best friend, shoving a yellowed parchment into his hands. “We will use the Cloak.”

“What about Peter?” questioned Marlene, looking around.

“He went to the kitchen to get something to eat,” Remus replied, and a lone tear threatened to make its way down the pretty blonde’s cheek. They had been friends since they were children, long before school started and the Marauders became inseparable, yet she knew she would have to leave him behind if she didn’t intend to be the recipient of a killing curse.

“Between us, he’s the one with the best chance of survival,” Sirius tried to console her, and with that the decision was made. The two small groups split up as soon as they reached the stairs, James and Lily hidden as well as they could under the Invisibility Cloak, the others heading toward a secret passage only a select few knew existed. Once they safely reached the edge of the Forbidden Forest, the most unlikely pair of allies Hogwarts had ever seen started to run, determined to put as much distance as possible between them and the wards preventing Apparition within the grounds.

“I know a place!” Lily exclaimed once they were far enough, and without further explanation took Potter’s hand and dragged him along to a location she barely remembered from her childhood. She had been there with her family, and her father had called it a hidden Scottish gem, an unspoiled corner of nature with a lake surrounded by woods and pine forests. Petunia hadn’t liked it very much, but if Lily had to choose a place to die prematurely, she was sure she would’ve named that one, even if it had no proper name and no one would ever find her body, except perhaps an unlucky hiker looking for a picnic spot before resuming their walk. One thing she hadn’t considered, though, was how high the odds of Apparating in the middle of a frozen lake, with the solid layer too thin to support their weight, were. Probably thanks to a miracle, or maybe driven by the desire to see their friends once again, both of them managed to return to the surface and crawl to shore, where they promptly started to look for a shelter that would allow them not to die of hibernation. The cottage, if it could be called that, since it was nothing more than a room with a roof, had seemed like a mirage, as well as the little firewood half devoured by woodworms they found inside. She had no idea of who owned the place, but judging by the furnishing and the abundance of fishing rods, it must’ve been a Muggle who hadn’t been around for a long, long time.

“What are you doing?” she squealed as she noticed James not only took off his shoes and socks, but was also working on removing his jacket and tie.

“The real question is what are you waiting for,” he replied, ridding himself of the now almost transparent fabric of his shirt, exposing a slim waist and sculpted abs. Embarrassed, Lily looked away, determined to focus on anything but the Seeker’s athletic body and the cold she felt was penetrating to her bones.

“Take everything off and look for a blanket,” he instructed when she was shaken by yet another unstoppable fit of shivers. “I’ll turn the other way, and check the bed for bugs.”

The cot she felt they would sleep on regardless of its condition appeared unfit to accommodate two people, but the pillow was thick, seemingly soft, and the quilt neatly folded on a nearby chair all too inviting to stay unused, but first they had other priorities, and they carried them out in silence, without ever meeting each other’s gazes, too focused on their respective pieces of underwear laying crumpled in the centre of the room to speak.

“We should hang the clothes,” Lily finally suggested once she sat down in front of the fireplace, as close as possible to the flames to dry the hair she had hastily braided. “We have nothing else to wear but those.”

“Be my guest if you please, but I don't intend to get up from this mattress,” he muttered, too focused on looking into an old mirror to be observing his reflection. “I casted some protection spells on the door and the window, so don’t try to open them.”

Lily nodded, and rather than face he most inevitable discussion, got to work, stubbornly ignoring the pair of hazel eyes following her every moment. It was a strange feeling, in such an absurd situation, to worry about what they would wear the next day and make sure that the hem of James’s trousers or the collar of her shirt didn’t get strange creases, but at the same time it was a cling to normality, to routine, although before she would’ve never imagined herself taking care of Potter’s clothes while only an ancient blanket that made her itch all over covered her nakedness.

“Now that you’ve proven what a good wife you would be, why don’t you lie down and try to sleep?” James asked when she had nothing left to tidy up and finally, after almost and hour, Lily gained the courage to meet his gaze. She couldn’t understand why he went with her, why he hadn’t pushed her toward Remus and Marlene, picking his best friend as his partner for this misfortune.

“I have no interest in lying naked with you,” she hissed, still she moved closer, tiredness and the prospect of warming her feet taking the decision for her. They found a comfortable position, with her back pressed firmly against his chest, suspiciously fast and although she couldn’t see his face, she was sure he hadn’t fallen asleep, the silence just full of questions they had no answer to.

“How distant are we from society?” he asked after a while, ever the pragmatist.

“Wizarding? Enough to be safe, if they haven’t tracked us. Muggle? A couple hours by foot,” she answered, snuggling even closer to enjoy more of his body heat.

“Excellent. Tomorrow at dawn we should set out, buy some basic necessities, and look for another quiet place where no one can find us,” he suggested, as if he was accustomed to running away from armed people trying to kill him.

“And with what money?” she inquired, perplexed. In their haste they had been unable to bring anything with them except what they already had on hand, and there was no reason to keep change in their pockets at Hogwarts, everything they might need provided free of charge by the staff.

“You don’t have to worry about that. Until we reach the others and things settle down, I’ll take care of you,” he declared, and Lily felt a faint buzzing in her ears, as if a wire had been disconnected in her brain and she suddenly found herself blushing at the idea of Potter being protective of her.

[tedwardremus]

Who wants to title my jily challenge fic for this month?

[jilychallenge]

UPDATED WITH BUTTERFLY 🦋 FIC added- just FYI me figuring there must just not have been a challenge that month…since I couldn’t find your fic, is a compliment of sorts in itself :)

Dear Ray, Sweet Charms,

As I was looking up this month's sign ups, I noticed something... Your name was not there, perhaps you forgot, perhaps you are a little busy which is absolutely fine! BUT I thought I'd take a look at your Jilychallenge history...

Since September 2022 (two years ago, people) you have signed up for every challenge and have posted within the set dead-lines for every one!

For special events you've even written more than one fic (December Jily Calender 2022) and all your stories have been absolutely lovely!

Let's put them all down here, people check out these fics, their stunning banners and leave your love for a wonderful person who has given us so much !

Back to School - September 2022

Jilytober- no jilychallenge

Nostalgic Tropes November 2022

December Calendar 2022 - Eat Snow

December Calendar 2022 - You Need to Branch Out

December Calendar 2022 - Resting Grinch Face

January 23 - One and One Is Two

Valentine Fic Exchange - no Jilychallenge

February 23 - Feelings keep running the Red

March 23 - Ties That Bind ( Soulmates)

April 23 - Meet Me At The River

May 23 - Mother's Day May

June 23 - Ice Breaker (collab with @jamesunderwater)

July 23 - Midnight Dip

August 23 - A Reason To Fight

September 23 - Sugar Quills

Jilytober - no Jilychallenge

November 23 - The x-Change Principle

December 23 - Mistletoe Adventures

Jan 24 - Fight Or Flight Response

February 24 - Grey Carpet Area

March 24 - The Stag Prince Across the Sea

April 24 - Knight in Shining Armour

May 24- Hockey and Headaches

June 24 - To Take Up An Oar

July 24 - The Co-habitation Agreement

August 24 - ...

... We can safely say you hold the record of consecutive jilychallenges, this post is therefore dedicated to you!

Thank you @charmsandtealeaves for all your jily-challenge support

[fruitcoops]

hey ! any fics on Lily and Remus’ friendship? I love them so muchhh in sw dkdjsjjsjs

Love your fics! <3

Lots! You're always welcome to request something new, but I'll link my already-published ones below the cut:

Manicure (as the name implies)

Starboy (nerdfest galore, ft Regulus)

Call and Response (Harry's 1st words)

Persephone (Lily finding her wedding dress w/ Remus and Natalie)

Gossip (day-drinking and trashy TV)

Get His Ass (Creep hits on Lily + protective Remus)

Fear Pong (Coops and Jily social media fic)

Where's Your Buddy? (James vs. Remus for Lily's birthday-themed "who knows me better?" challenge)

Moonlilies (Remus and Lily talk after the Greyback footage is leaked; part of a larger series, can be read standalone)

Also, I know a bunch of links are still missing from the fluff masterlist! The entire list got unlinked in June, and I've been steadily redoing each one by digging through my archive since then. It's slow-going, but it's happening, and all masterlist fics can also be found on ao3 under fruitcoops <3

[jilychallenge2023]

Whoop whoop!!

For @jilychallenge | @jilychallenge2023 My partner was @athenasparrow ❤️

June: winter

Prompt : i decided to walk outside shirtless (accidentally) but i forgot it's winter and why're you screaming at me like that? and oh gosh, you're very pretty.

[hp-flowers]

Prompt Challenges and Events for May

Here are some other monthly challenges or events to combine HP Flowers’ Spring Round prompts with, should you need some more inspiration for your flowery works: >> Microfic May- a May HP multi-ship daily microfic prompt challenge, all prompts are up! >> Sapphic Microfics- HP Femslash daily microfic prompt challenge, and all May prompts are up! >> More HP Microfic communities by ship (Drarry, Wolfstar, Jily, Hinny, Prongsfoot, Marauders era femslash, etc.) >> HP Coffeehouse- monthly prompts for coffee or tea based works >> Liquid Luck Drabble and Art Challenge- bi-monthly prompts for fic and art works >> Wood You Rather- Oliver Wood-centric prompt challenge (the event may be over after April, but late submissions are welcome)! >> HP Fruit Fest- low-key, chill fest that runs until June 21st for all the fruity goodness! >> House of Snarry- This Discord releases monthly prompts for creators to make Snarry content. May prompts have been posted up! >> Domaystic- a May multi-ship and multi-fandom daily prompt challenge based on the domestic trope, all prompts are posted up! >> Ageplay May- a May multi-ship and multi-fandom daily prompt challenge based on the ageplay trope, all prompts are posted up! >> Whumpay- a May multi-ship and multi-fandom daily prompt challenge based on all the whumpy and painful things, all prompts are posted up! >> Play the List Bingo- a multi-ship and multi-fandom bingo challenge inspired by songs and music; see all the bingo cards and prompts available >> May Mixtape Challenge- A May writing challenge where you can grab a playlist and let the music guide you! >> Year of the OTP- a multi-ship and multi-fandom event designed to encourage creators to make more content for a particular ship they love and end 2023 with 12 new works for an OTP. Prompts for the whole year have been posted! If you know of other challenges that should be added to the list, send an ask. :) Cheers, and have fun!

[elliemarchetti]

Hi.. how many to do prompts do you currently have in your inbox? I don’t want to flood you with more if there is already too much

Hi anon ❤️

Tbh, I don't have that many prompts in my askbox at the moment, so send all the ideas you wish to see written down and I'll gladly give it a try!

If you're interested (and if you're the one who submitted it, your wait is nearly over) tomorrow I'll post a cute Jily drabble, follow up of Training Wheels, and I plan to share my entry for Winter in June (the challenge @jilychallenge issued for this month) on Tuesday or Wednesday, but it all depends on how heavy the workload at my job is this week.

If you're not here for something Jily related, just know I'm brewing up some Wolfstar and a Sirius x Marlene x Remus drabble, meanwhile if you follow me because of ACOTAR, I' working on a multichapter for @gwynweekofficial I wish I'll like enough to actually submit

[jilychallenge]

did we mention we love collaborations!??! WE DO!!!!

Ice Breaker

Read it on AO3. 2.3K

Summary: All James wants is to be warm in the Three Broomsticks with his mates, preferably with a pint. But a certain sculpture (or lets be real… a certain person) at the Hogsmeade Ice Festival catches his eye and stops him in his tracks.

@jilychallenge2023 @jilychallenge | Partner: @itsjamespotter |June: Winter | Prompt: I’m at the ice festival with my friends and I accidentally walked into an ice sculpture while staring at you and you decided to help me keep it stay upright.

[abihastastybeans]

I posted 5,499 times in 2022

That's 5,499 more posts than 2021!

189 posts created (3%)

5,310 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@shehatedhimnahshedidnt

@sweetpeasandlilies

@soloorganaas

@inthe-afterglows

@annabtg

I tagged 3,207 of my posts in 2022

Only 42% of my posts had no tags

#lol - 336 posts

#jily - 152 posts

#music - 114 posts

#wolfstar - 87 posts

#lmao - 87 posts

#sirius black - 77 posts

#spn - 71 posts

#pjo - 68 posts

#prev tags - 61 posts

#tumblr is - 49 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#am i just someone who reblogs so many random stuff and you follow me to see them?? or what else? i'd love to know because y'all are so cool

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

OH MY GOD all the people saying that if you associate yourself with Harry Potter you're clearly transphobic etc etc

It hurts dude

All the fanfic writers and artists and kind people in the fandom are doing so so much to erase the narrow minded ideologies involved in that franchise. You think they support JKR?

JKR was the one who named a black guy 'Shacklebolt' (fine, it didn't bother me when I was little because I didn't know much about anything). She's the one who had a single somewhat-main asian character and then reduced her to a "clingy pathetic girl" because a young girl who's emotional and confused and who's boyfriend just freaking died is not a ''strong female representation". She's the one who had imperialistic contexts in a species in her stories and then mocked the only girl who tried to do something about it.

You think I support her transmisogyny? You think I support her white supremacist ideas? Buddy you think I'm white?

FINE I'm a cishet girl who hasn't faced discrimination of the kind that the trans people and other similar communities have endured but for the love of god please don't generalize the whole HP fanbase.

36 notes - Posted May 30, 2022

#4

I just saw someone defending Snape saying that he had no personal reason/motive to save Katie Bell and i don't know i COULD be wrong but isn't that what teachers do? When your student is in danger, a teacher helps them, right?

Say, HYPOTHETICALLY, if i were a teacher, and i saw one of my students choke on something I'd immediately heimlich maneuver the shit out of them and save them. As a teacher. Because I'm supposed to care for them.

"Sneep didn't have any personal gain from saving her but he did it anyway because he's Good Like That" shut up shut up shut up shut up

41 notes - Posted September 27, 2022

#3

JILY CHALLENGE | AUGUST 2022 | @jilychallenge

Theme: Travel!

Prompt: "At last I find myself on top of that mountain, or in this absolute amazing place I was dying to see but now I can’t help but feel a bit sad that you are not here. But wait, what are you doing here? Are you following me around?"

Make sure to read the fic written by my lovely partner @un-peu-folle!

Constructive criticism are welcome :-)

61 notes - Posted August 27, 2022

#2

November Rain

JILY CHALLENGE | NOVEMBER 2022 | @jilychallenge

Theme: Tropefest!

Trope: stranded/locked up together / maybe there’s a bit of veritaserum

Prompt: "You are useless"

Partners: @practicecourts & @constancezin

Sweet thanks to @practicecourts for the title and for being my beta (go check out her fic here!) & to @constancezin for her inputs and the GORGEOUS art she did for the fic!

Summary: James Potter seeks haven in a stranger's house when he finds himself stranded on the pavement because of a storm.

Read here on ao3!

92 notes - Posted November 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

JILY CHALLENGE | JUNE 2022 | @jilychallenge

Theme: Taylor Swift!

Prompt: "You got that James Dean daydream look in your eyes. And I got that red lip classic thing that you like"

Make sure to read the amazing piece being written by my partner @inthe-afterglows !

(give constructive criticism if you've got any :-D)

94 notes - Posted June 28, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[kay-elle-cee]

I posted 1,404 times in 2022

That's 1,390 more posts than 2021!

353 posts created (25%)

1,051 posts reblogged (75%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@kay-elle-cee

@emeralddoeadeer

@unknowableroom

@periodedits

@vlolets

I tagged 1,191 of my posts in 2022

Only 15% of my posts had no tags

#queue gotta step into the daylight - 361 posts

#jily - 203 posts

#kelsey writes - 154 posts

#ask game - 65 posts

#ask me - 59 posts

#emeralddoeadeer - 58 posts

#fic recs - 52 posts

#restless waves rise and fall - 44 posts

#jilytober - 44 posts

#potc - 42 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#and like all my friends and my partner don’t have that same history of fandom and it’s so hard to communicate my overzealousness sometimes

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Magic Like This || Read on Ao3

“Do you want to go?” He presses. “It’s not that simple.” If only it was. Of course she didn’t want to go. The boy in front of her shrugs. “It sounds simple enough to me: it’s going to be miserable for you. Don’t go.” Lily blinks at him—he speaks as if it’s the easiest thing in the world to just live by your own rules, put yourself first. He’s standing there, staring at her as the concept winds its way through her mind. What Lily really wants, if she’s being honest with herself, is to spend the day with James Potter.

My fic for the @jilytoberfest Bittersweet Challenge. Prompt: "Don't Go" but make it fluff.

71 notes - Posted October 15, 2022

#4

restless waves rise and fall || read chapter one on ao3

In efficiency and general seafaring know-how, First Mate Evans makes up for what Captain Potter lacks.

So she has to make up for a lot.

Or: In which James Potter is a gentleman pirate and Lily Evans is his loyal but vastly more competent First Mate.

Written for @thegobletofweasleys​ Jily Week 2022 pirate au prompt. It has since gotten out of hand and is currently shaping up to be 3 parts (you can blame @sunshinemarauder​ for the encouragement).

78 notes - Posted July 19, 2022

#3

no, i could never give you peace | Read on Ao3 | Playlist

But the rain is always gonna come if you’re standing with me Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?

James blinks. “Are you breaking up with me, Evans?” he jokes softly, resting his hand on hers. It’s a joke, but her body tenses and it immediately puts him on edge. The silence that follows is excruciating.

“I’m not doing anything.” Her nails begin to tap on the mug again—a nervous habit that James spots immediately. “I just think we should have a conversation.”

93 notes - Posted June 8, 2022

#2

I got this idea like 5 minutes ago and have been living in Saturday Night's Alright-land for so long, I'm letting myself choose joy.

7th-Year September 1st drabble below the cut.

James hastily waved off his parents with all the sincerity he could muster before he and Sirius started weaving their way through the start-of-term crowd on Platform 9 3/4 for the last time. To Fleamont and Euphemia, this was a momentous turning point, deserving some sort of emotional farewell or well-wishing, but to James it was simply an item on a checklist.

Arrive at platform: Check.

Still, he would've been more sympathetic to his parents' attentions had someone not delayed their arrival by oversleeping.

"Oi, slow down, Prongs. Christ!"

Sirius trailed behind him, navigating the crowds with more care than the other boy, who was charging through the crowd with a fervor that Sirius was all too familiar with by now.

James' eyes flitted rapidly from face to face as he made his way across the platform, searching for those brilliant eyes and the shock of red hair that he hadn't seen in much too long.

This summer had been one for the books, as far as James Potter was concerned, anyway. The freedom of being of-age with none of the responsibilities of school had meant a virtually unlimited choice of ways to entertain themselves this summer. Most evenings saw the soon-to-be 7th year Gryffindors—along with some other classmates—convalescing somewhere or other in Diagon Alley, finding little-known hidden gems of pubs or clubs, cooling themselves off with ice cream at Florean Fortescue's, or just causing general summertime mischief.

It was wonderful to feel so bonded with the others in their house going into their final year, and it had the added bonus of finally sparking that something between he and Lily Evans.

It was nothing serious—not yet. Just little stolen moments throughout the summer: a lingering glance across the table, inconspicuous hand-holding when they found themselves in the back of the group, the occasional goodnight kiss when one of them needed to side-along Apparate the other home. Little stolen moments that had been driving James mad these last few weeks Lily was visiting family and unable to join the end-of-summer hurrahs.

They had been writing each other, however, in her absence. She'd written him excitedly about her appointment as Head Girl, which was completely unsurprising to him as there was no better candidate (and he told her so). He had written back, nervously, and relayed how—incredibly—he'd been named Head Boy, only to be unexpectedly showered with congratulations and 'of course, it's unorthodox, but it makes sense'. They'd exchanged letters about the things they'd miss once Hogwarts was over, their lists of must-do's this year to fully glean the most out of their final year. They'd exchanged 'I miss you's and 'I wish you were here's and 'I can't wait to see you's.

Nearing the other side of the crowded platform, his eyes spotted that specific shade of red that had made this summer so superior to the others. His eyes zeroed in on Lily Evans, hair pulled back, Head Girl badge proudly displayed on her robes as she helped direct what he could only guess was a First Year into the train. His feet halted any forward-movement as his breath left his lungs.

'I can't wait to see you. I miss you.'

Locate Lily Evans: Check.

James moved forward with renewed vigor, her eyes finding his as the First Year loaded onto the train. A smile broke out on her face as he drew near, and gods how he wished he was able to get here earlier just so he could take in her expression that much sooner.

"Hey, you," she called lightly as he neared, looking up at him. "Big day for us, eh?"

Now face-to-face with her for the first time in weeks, after thinking only of her for the entirety of the time since she last left his sight, words escape him. Instead, he smiled down at her, at the anticipation in her eyes and felt sure in a way he hadn't felt with her in a long time, and bent down to capture her lips with his own, hand cupping her cheek.

She leaned into his touch instantly, responding to his kiss with an enthusiasm that caused James' pulse to pound in his ears, drowning out the sounds of the platform around them.

Kiss Lily Evans: Check.

James felt Lily's lips pull into another grin, and he took this as his cue to step back, breaking the kiss and grinning down at her, knowing that the excited glint in her eyes matched his own.

"Well, I meant leading the Prefects' meeting, but glad to know where your head's at," she quipped, unable to wipe the smile from her face.

James shrugged, hand flying to his hair with residual nerves. "Sorry, I was just...excited to see you."

Lily stepped forward, reaching up and pulling his hand down from his hair and lacing her fingers in his. Her eyes lingered on the sight of their entwined fingers as a blush painted her cheeks. "I'm excited to see you, too." Her eyes flickered back up to meet his, eyebrow quirking as she tugged him forward towards the train. "Well come on then. We have a meeting to run."

James followed her, gladly, as they loaded onto the train, feeling a little lighter in his step.

Be with Lily Evans: Check.

96 notes - Posted September 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

But the rain is always gonna come if you're standing with me Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?

James blinks. “Are you breaking up with me, Evans?” he jokes softly, resting his hand on hers. It’s a joke, but her body tenses and it immediately puts him on edge. The silence that follows is excruciating.

“I’m not doing anything.” Her nails begin to tap on the mug again—a nervous habit that James spots immediately. “I just think we should have a conversation.”

Playlist

Read on Ao3

97 notes - Posted June 6, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[greyeyedmonster-18]

I Never Planned.

written for june @jilychallenge was given the Taylor Swift song Last Kiss with the lyric: "and i watch your life in pictures like i used to watch you sleep";

(shout out to the mods for giving me angst, much needed; adding that this song is one of my favs and the subsequent line of: and i keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are seemed to fit....all too well. this little challenge got away from me...so you have a dribble that is approx: 4k

enjoy my second jily foray, and an early early submission to this months challenge).

--

Lily tapped her nails on the table outside the cafe, only vaguely aware the sound was probably annoying to the gentleman trying to read the morning paper beside her. It was Sunday and far too early of a time for her to be awake, but the most devastating part of adulthood was having to learn to make appointments and schedule with people who used to be just across the room or down the breakfast table. Investing in different colored pens and muggle sticky notes just to keep track of her friends and her colleagues and social engagements she really should go to but really didn't want to. And every time she engaged in the furious writing of letters back and forth to SiriusandRemus (because they were the ones who made it out the other side unscathed and together), writing times in purple on her planner for the two of them, it was only a reminder of how far away she had gotten from the people who meant the world to her.

She used to just come through the floor, and before that, she would call up to a dormitory or else drag one to the library. Now she penciled in two-hour coffee dates.

She tapped her fingers again, only briefly before she was able to see her two friends approaching, hand in hand. It made Lily smile, unable to remember a time where Remus and Sirius weren't walking hand-in-hand, or arm to waist, or the moments Remus would slip his hand into the back pocket of Sirius's jeans, or Sirius would insist on walking behind Remus chin on his shoulder which always seemed to Lily to be terribly impractical, but they made it work. At some point, their bodies were glued together, permanently stuck and bonded the same way they both had wedding bands on their fingers and tattoos underneath the bands just in case the I Do's went sideways and they needed something else to remind each other where the love was.

Lily's own fingers were bare. Save the pink nail polish she got professionally done every other week because she could. A standing appointment in red on her planner.

"Sorry we're a bit late," Sirius said, reaching Lily first to embrace her from the side, not wanting to wake the sleeping baby that was strapped to his chest in a white and grey sling, brown curls peaking out over the top. "I would blame it on the baby but both me and him were up and we were waiting for someone to get dressed."

Remus rolled his eyes playfully, giving Lily a short hug as well, "It's early," he offered, before reaching his hand into Sirius's back pocket and pulling out his husband's wallet, "And I'm bringing you tea as a consolation prize."

"I don't think it's a prize if you're using his money," Lily said, arching an eyebrow with amusement as Sirius sat down at the table, "Seems he suffers twice."

"I think the Black vaults can swing it," Remus grinned, and Lily looped her arm through his, the two of them walking into the cafe to order, doubts about whether or not Remus wanted to be there at all disappearing as the slipped into easy conversation.

About the baby--Teddy, or Edward as Sirius consistently called him, who was sleeping through the night but only would nap if he was on Sirius.

About Lily's thriving career, her most recent publication in a Potions journal hung up on the fridge, and how she was going to celebrate (which these days consisted of a bottle of wine, on her couch, alone).

Remus talked about Hogwarts, telling tales of his students and the half-arsed essays he was now on the receiving end of, smile wide as he spoke of the mischief that mirrored the lot of them almost 15 years ago now. When they were sixteen and seventeen and young and careless at the start of a war, holding onto their youth with stupid pranks and endless summer nights. Back when there was a RemusandSirius....and a JamesandLily.

Now...there was just James. Who they didn't talk about and Lily had to avoid the name of the Quidditch Player for the Falcons every time she so much as opened a newspaper or wanted to order a sandwich outside of the hospital cafeteria.

And there was just Lily. And her pink nails and appointments made to see her best friends because that was the only way they could manage.

"We finally decided to have a warming-party," Sirius said, sipping tea around the top of Teddy's head, brushing down brown curls that had gotten ruffled in the wind.

"A house warming," Remus clarified.

"That's what I said."

"For your tiny flat? How is that going to work?" she asked.

"Oh, no, I guess we didn't tell you we moved about two months ago," Sirius told her easily, "You know, after realizing the hard way that a one-bedroom flat with leaky pipes and wood rot wasn't the best environment for a baby."

"Hm, now which parenting book did you read that in?" she responded teasingly over her cup of coffee, "The Joys of Fatherhood or Parenting from the Inside Out?"

"Hey! They have been informative."

"Believe it or not we figured that out on our own...and," Remus cleared his throat, "uh realizing that certain activities were a bit harder with an infant in the room. We actually just moved to Number 12. Sirius spent some time cleaning it up, we painted--"

"Teddy too?"

"One of his footprints is on the parlor door," Sirius smiled softly, "It's very cute."

"Absolute mush around a baby, Black..." Lily shook her head, but it was all in jest. It used to annoy her, in school, when Sirius didn't seem to want to put his mind towards a career, sitting with his 12 Outstanding OWLs and NEWTs and wanting nothing from them. It annoyed her the early years after Hogwarts when Lily was trying to figure out how a Healing Program at St. Mungo's fit into a war and Sirius was there, just wanting to spend time with Remus, and her and...

James.

But now? Sitting across a table at a cafe from her, with his hair pulled up into a knot, tattoos down his neck, and a baby still soundly sleeping on his torso, Sirius wanting to spend his time like this was the furthest from annoying. Sirius moving back into his childhood home for his new family, smiling about footprints on doors, and writing Lily about fun new facts of child development he was learning, was endearing. Remus thought so too, leaning over and kissing Sirius on the side of the head quickly, their hands connecting yet again on the table.

"You should come, it's next Saturday. Teddy's going to be with Andromeda so we'll even have a night off to get properly smashed," Remus told her, "There will be china re-decorating."

Lily looked down at her cup of coffee, now nearly empty, "Suppose...he's out of town?" she hesitated asking, hating how quiet she got, and a silence fell between the three of them. Sirius and Remus exchanged a quick look. "What? If he's there, I won't go, you know this, it's been the same deal for 10 years."

"He...kind of lives with us, Lils," Remus told her evenly and she blinked in his direction several times.

"You're fucking joking."

"There's just so much space, and he spends most of his time at our place anyway, and it's nice to have him around our baby and....to grow up with him," Sirius explained, trying to douse the flames before they started, looking at Lily almost pleadingly to please keep it together.

"Unbelievable...." she muttered, and sighed, "I'm not...I'm happy for you both and of course, I get why you would want...him there. Some sort of Uncle but...that doesn't change where we stand and...I can't go to your party. That's how it is."

"Lily, it's been ten years."

"What's your point?" she asked sticking her chin out, mild irritation and sadness only exacerbated when Sirius snorted.

"Point, my stubborn Lily-Flower, is we're warming things and we want you there. I'll give you the good wine--my parents weren't good for much but their exemplary taste in alcohol--two whole bottles just for you and if it's awful you can leave but quite honestly we have a baby, I'm tired, and you two have already met the world record for longest-silent-treatment. Somethings got to give."

Lily resisted the impulse to shout and why is it always me? at Sirius. At the both of them, because the look on Remus's face told her he agreed and was probably just as tired of making appointments to see Lily when the rest of them just got to waltz into their home. James got the key. James got the wards clearance. Lily got letters and rainchecks. In the custody battle of who-got-what after the split, James had won in a landslide. James got their friends. Lily got the espresso machine.

Lily tapped her nails again, watching as the baby on Sirius began to stir, arms stretching, head moving, making tiny whining noises.

"Ah oui, mon petit amour? Ca va?" Sirius said softly, reaching to undo the straps of the sling so Teddy could stretch his arms higher, nearly hitting Sirius in the chin as he did so. It dissolved Lily some, and she took a breath, half thinking of how much life she was going to miss out on in favor her pride if this was how the next 10 years went. James would see first steps, first days of school, first missing tooth.

Lily would get photographs. The same way she got a lot of life now.

"Just think about it," Remus said, reaching one of his hands over to smooth down Teddy's hair as he woke up and marvel at the world around him.

"No need to think, you both know I'm going to come, especially after all the beginning the promise of good wine."

"The best wine," Sirius grinned, "I'll make those cookies you like too.

She laughed and then looked down again. Her coffee cup empty and she could feel the conversation expiring. RemusandSirius back to their own Sunday morning lives, that probably planting flowers in a spacious backyard and Lily would spend the rest of the day shopping around the area. Pampering herself and perhaps taking herself out for a nice dinner to hide the familiar feelings boiling in the pit of her stomach already. "Dare I ask how he is?"

"You can ask him yourself."

--

Her rose-gold dress was silky and expensive. She had done her hair, in loose curls all down her back, hands decorated in the gold jewelry she always wore, stilettos on her feet, and for lack of a better word, she looked good. Great even, and the early moments of the party had been the worst. When she stood there with spinach dip in one hand and a bag of fertilizer in the other (because what did you get two people for a housewarming who already had everything other than special fertilizer to help roses bloom?) awkwardly greeting her two friends, already hearing how bloody far James's voice could carry, knowing he was in the same vicinity as her and that was just going to be it for the rest of the night. But Sirius took her down to the cellar to pick out her wine, giving her a moment to collect herself.

He's just a guy, Evans.

And Remus had taken her on a tour of the house for the same reason, the two of them shamelessly gulping glasses of expensive wine out of sight of Sirius's rolling eyes. It got better after that, a house big enough that James was easy enough to avoid until people started leaving. Until the group started dwindling, and close friends and family lingered, and Lily moved rooms, attempting to help with the party clean up, giving herself something to do as she debated when the appropriate time was for her to clear out.

"Did Sirius put you to work?"

James Potter could say her name in a crowd of screaming people and she would be able to pick it out. James Potter could tell a joke in Scotland and she would laugh from wherever she was in London. Her memory served her so well most days, and some days, it was absolutely haunting.

Lily tossed the collection of napkins she had in her hand into the trash before turning around, "This is out of the goodness of my heart. You should know I won't listen to anything Sirius tells me to do..."

James smiled easily. As if he smiled at Lily's wry humor every day.

Like 10 years hadn't passed since they had spoken.

Like Lily didn't keep up with James's life through pictures in the daily prophet or anecdotes from their friends.

"Better person than I am. My plan was to lay on the couch while they cleaned up tomorrow, feet on the furniture, the whole charade," he teased. James still had a dimple on the side of his face and though there were more creases under his eyes, he otherwise still looked every bit of nineteen. Dark curly hair, hazel eyes with thick lashes behind glasses frames--the kind that were comically big and large and should've stayed in the seventies but James could always pull off. His bright magenta t-shirt pulled along his shoulders, all the years of playing Quidditch professionally visible, tucked into jeans. A tattoo on the inside of his forearm was new; so were the shoes on his feet, and the cologne he was wearing. Everything else....

Everything else.

was still so James.

"Nice of you, especially given their baby. I'm sure they really appreciate that level of support. Trust. Care...."

James smile grew, walking over to the counter and grabbing a few of the napkins Lily missed to toss into the trash. He was standing closer to her, and even in her stiletto's he towered over her. She remembered all the kisses she gave him barefoot at the end of long nights, standing on her tiptoes, pulling his face down certain he was going to throw his back out one of the days. He never did.

"Well, then this is my contribution. Collectively we're very helpful."

"Definitely," she nodded picking up her glass of wine and taking a sip, aware of how her hands were sweating. How did you start a conversation with your ex-boyfriend-fiance-love-of-your-life when you had crossed streets and made appointments to avoid doing so for 10 years?

"You look good, Lily."

"I know."

"I see your...publications on the fridge every morning. Read a few, even. I'm sure you don't need my.... long-time connections but Abba used to work with a Healer who specialized in after-effects of harmful potions and she's older now but we have tea every once in a while and I could make the introduction if you wanted me to. Healer Bones, have you heard of their work?"

Lily laughed a little, sipping her wine again, "I don't need your connections, Potter. And I don't need you to tell me that I look good either, you squandered that privilege long ago."

"I know you don't need them, I was asking if you wanted them."

"I don't," she said, "I know I'm at this party but its because I care about RemusandSirius, not because I've seen the light and finally decided to wave the white flag with you. I'm terribly uninterested in this conversation, actually."

James's posture dropped a little, eyebrows knitting together with concern, "I'm not looking for a white flag. I don't deserve that."

"You're right."

James smiled again and shook his head, looking down at their feet, "I'm not looking for forgiveness with...this. I mostly making conversation because my friends are currently snogging and you were in the place I usually hide out when that happens."

"The kitchen?"

"Yeah. Was going to make a cup of tea, and you were in here."

"Don't let me interrupt then."

"That's not what I'm saying."

"And this is exactly why we haven't been in the same room for so long...we can't not argue and--"

"We're not arguing."

"Sure," she said, walking away from James to sit at the table, "Make your tea, then. I'll finish my wine and I'll be out of your hair."

"I don't think I want that either..."

"We don't always get what we want," she said into her glass and took another sip, watching as James magically put the kettle on the stove, reaching into a cupboard to pull out a basket of tea. She started tapping her nails again on the table, looking around the other parts of the kitchen that were new. Photographs. A window that Sirius had put in, where there wasn't one before, with soft curtains. Their table had a floral arrangement as a centerpiece. Placemats were tucked away into drawers. They hand--

"Stop that."

"Hm?"

"Your nails," James commented leaning against the counter with his arms folded over his chest, "That always drove me crazy. Everywhere we went..."

"And I suppose you've stopped ruffling your hair if we're talking about habits?"

"Not quite, press likes it though...."

Lily snorted, unable to stop herself, "Arrogant as ever..."

"Probably worse, actually."

"I don't believe that."

"No? You don't even want to be in the same room as me anymore, Lily."

"Not because of your ego. You broke my heart, James. In the middle of a fucking war...you...broke my heart. I had to take a ring off my finger and give it back to you."

"I didn't ask you to do that."

"And I was supposed to walk around half-engaged for the rest of my life because I liked the fucking ring? That's stupid." It had taken weeks for the imprint of the ring on her finger to go away; months for the slight tan she had developed to do the same, and even now there was still a patch of freckles around where the ring should've been. A cluster of memories permanently stained her skin. "I haven't wanted to be around you because you make me so...unbearably sad James Potter. I'm furious, sure, pride wounded but...it still hurts to look at you."

She was drunk, she knew it.

She was emotional, she knew that too.

But maybe something did have to give. She was at the party, she had made it this far, might as well get the last few words in before everything crumbled again and she had to spend the next month peeling herself off her sofa. Never expecting that the same boy with the big, bright smile and the even bigger heart would be the one to give hers a stress fracture that could never heal properly. Never thinking there would be a day their hands separated, or they shared a final kiss. Never anticipating that James would be the one to give up out of cowardice and fear. That he would change his mind.

We can't be together, Lily. I don't want to be with you anymore.

"It wasn't easy for me."

"You still did it."

"I'd do it again too because it means I'm this kitchen having a not-argument with you instead of visiting a grave every year like we do for Marlene and Dorcas and everyone else."

Lily had heard the excuse before. Had heard the apology twenty times over.

I just buried my parents, I'm not going to bury you. We're done.

"Didn't break up with Sirius..." she mused, "Still married to him..."

James picked up his cup of tea and walked over to sit across from Lily at the table. Resting on his elbows, dark skin brushed over with golden hues from all the time in the sun.

"I...think about you all the time. Ask about you...never stopped."

"Good."

James laughed softly, "I still have the ring too."

Lily set down her glass of wine slowly at James's words, looking into meet hazel eyes and feeling a flush spread over the back of her neck. The heat, the brain fog, the swollen tongue, borderline illness that always came around James Potter. The real reason--not the bitterness, the resentment, or heartache she felt being in his proximity or attempting to have a conversation--she had avoided making appointments with him for the past 10 years. The real reason she had made excuses and waved him away was when the war ended victoriously and James asked to try again. He had permeated her bloodstream, and he was the fever she couldn't sweat out.

One look.

One sentence.

One stupid conversation at a stupid table, and Lily was there again hoping this boy, man, would promise her the world.

[wearingaberetinparis]

When you look at today’s date and you realise you only have a few more days to complete your June Jily Challenge fic... Right, all my focus on that one for the next few days!