#chimpanzees are so fun!!

[shoechoe]

I enjoy those posts that refer to instincts of the human mind as "monkey brain" "chimpanzee brain" "gorilla brain" "orangutan brain" (etc.) as though human brains are some blend of all of the other primates and our instincts are like specific primates "talking" to us. I mean that's really not how it works but it's fun to imagine it that way

[steelycunt]

mutuals what was the name of ur favourite stuffed toy as a child + what sort of stuffed toy was it

[dandyshucks]

me: okay just ONE quick cartoony silly facial expression drawing and nothing else, i need to sleep decently tonight for once and getting to sleep on time would help a lot with that

the drawingS (emphasis on the s):

(its been... just over an hour since i started)

[threadsun]

Gonna be real with you the gender studies degree made it MORE complicated for you probably. (This is not a bad thing)

I tend to go with vagina-haver or penis-haver myself tho if I'm angling for a specific genital setup ngl.

Yeahhhhhhhhh 😔 ngl so many of my professors in that degree were terfs who didn't know what intersex people were that I have like... an instinctive contrarian reaction to these things. And I've done so much research into sex and gender and sex assignment and the language used around them that my brain feels like a fried microwave when I try to come up with a simple answer for my silly fun blog that is meant to be stress free.

I absolutely prefer part-specific language like... in general. Just in general life, I think it's more important when talking about sex (the body configuration, not the act) to reference specific parts than to try to use gender language to describe it. Amab and afab come with all sorts of assumptions about the body that are often untrue for intersex people or trans people who have had surgery or disabled people whose disabilities altered their primary or secondary sex characteristics or hormones. And like, probably also a bunch of other people I'm forgetting too. Because people are complicated and the medical ideal of what a perisex cisgender man and woman look like don't account for a significant percent of the population.

But yeah, like ideally people would specify pronouns/gender/body parts if they care about any of those and want something specific. But then there's also the inherent idea that someone with a penis won't have breasts, for example, when plenty of bodies have both. Or the assumption that someone who has a penis also has a pair of testicles, or someone with a vagina doesn't also have a penis or clitoromegaly, or that they haven't had medical intervention (consensual or nonconsensual) to change sex traits. It's messy!! It's all so messy and confusing and we don't have the right language for it to be concise and clear because our whole language was developed by a society that actively wants to pretend these variations don't exist and/or make sure they don't exist.

And this doesn't take into account the innate assumptions that have to be made to write a reader insert story with any level of detail. Assumptions about the number of limbs someone has, whether or not they have hair, whether or not they can walk and talk and hear and see. But if you completely scrub a reader insert story of anything that might make an assumption about the reader, then what are you left with? Nothing worth reading, that's for sure.

Idk idk sorry I think I might just be going a lil insane tonight? That scrupulous OCD is hitting hard. But yeah, my brain feels like maybe its exploded a little or possibly been submerged under water.

[evilminji]

The more I learn about John Constantine? The more I am certain you COULD just... dump Danny on him.

Like... literally.

Full on, sack of unconscious potatoes, "here ya go, deal with it, here's an unconscious royal teenager!", Dumped in his arms/lap at some shitty hole in the wall bar, by Suspicious Supernatural Forces, DUMPED on him. Like? Yep. It's a Tuesday. Guess he's NOT getting to finish this beer.

And you know what?

Knowing the crowd Danny runs with? They'd at least... SORTA try and explain what's happening? Instead of play the fun ol "HOT POTATO! Think fast, Constantine! Figure it out!" And run shpeal that he normally deals with. Thoughtful, really.

Don't get him wrong. It's still BULLSHIT. But at least he has a vague idea of WHY he's holding an unconscious, heavily bleeding, half-divine-but-not-really half human, teenager.

Fuckers left a few sticky notes.

THANKS.

He just LOVES patching up actively radioactive wounds while trying to translate... what is this? Mesopotamian? Who writes out their emojis in Mesopotamian?! "Smiling face emotional picture" my ASS. Still...

Kid in way over their head, hunted by damn never everyone for trying to do the right thing, AND grappling with their recent lose of a decent chunk of their own humanity? Oh and now he's KING of a whole spankin new Realm!

Fuck "Realms". Nothing ever good comes out of "Realms".

And APPARENTLY? His VIP returning customers spot under the Bus has been reserved! Because he's the kid's "Gaurdian". Why? So the nice Goverment stooges in suits will come knocking on HIS door first, of course.

......he'd be more pissed about that one if he wasn't REAL interested in what those bastards had to say for themselves. Meddling with forces they shouldn't be touching. Provoking God only knows what. He fucking KNEW those storms weren't natural.

Just? John getting handed a Suspect Youth. Press X for doubt and Sus. Okay... then give him back. No! Fuck you, says local Laughing Magician, I don't trust you EITHER.

Danny wakes up to the... VERY? Ngl? Intense(tm) stare down of... holy shit, are you an Actual Angel? (Yes. He is. Better hope you're not secretly evil or he's gonna bring The Smiting) Then the world's ACTUAL greatest Detective, who is a chimpanzee, offers him expertly made tea and the cheap take-out John brought with him.

He is in Space.

It's still not the weirdest morning he's ever had. But it's getting there.

@the-witchhunter @hdgnj @hypewinter @nerdpoe @lolottes @babbling-babull

[cherry-bomb-ships]

There are benefits to being clumsy... sometimes you get to fall into the arms of a handsome chimpanzee 💜🩷💜🩷💜

Screenshot redraw of a cute scene from what's basically PPG's Valentine Day special! This was so fun to do, I feel like I learn more abt using Illustrator every time I go back to it :3 🩷 Reblogs are all seen and appreciated, click for higher quality!! Tag list + Screenshots referenced will be under the cut 💜

Tag List!! Click here to be added or removed.

@absentmoon, @avas-wonderland, @bee-ships, @beetleboyfriend, @berryshipbasket, @bugthecalmchild, @canongf, @cloudyvoid, @derelictdumbass, @dissonantyote, @edencantstopfallininlove, @final-catboy, @chickenout , @flowering-darkness, @gibles-lovely-selfships, @hoppinkiss, @hyperionshipping, @impulse-exe, @iwishihadfangs, @iyamifucker, @kissingarthurclaus, @lex-n-weegie, @lficanthaveloveiwantpower, @little-miss-selfships, @little-shiny-sharpies, @loogi-selfships, @mandrakebrew, @midoridayz, @mintpecks, @mothfinite, @mrs-kelly, @nameless-self-ships, @nerdstreak, @odysseyyaoi, @oleanderspride, @orbitingaroundyourlove, @paper-carnation, @reds-self-ships, @rotten--cotton , @spacestationstorybook, @squips-ship, @theheroand, @toogayforthistoday, @winterworlds, @yuzuibanagi

[merthosus]

Blank minds

@selfishlittlebeing asked:

Hi! So basically I just read every single one shot on this blog. And I am obsessed with your work. And I gotta admit that, “Wounded nights” did things to me.🧍🏼‍♀️

I’m not sure if I am requesting or smth (if you’d like to write this I wouldn’t protest, but feel free to just ponder on this with me). But like… I can’t get the image of touch starved Five out of my head. Bcs…damn. Him holding the reader in his arms like that (WN)… but can you imagine HIM having a vulnerable moment because of all that stuff with the Commission and apocalypses, just the trauma package yk. And after all those years…just Five being vulnerable with someone and touch starved.🥲 I am making myself feel depressed with all this. Wanna be depressed with me?🎀

Summary: After Luthers wedding, most of the siblings already gone to bed. You didn't feel like drinking, but loved to watch the others drown their sorrows into liquor and just have fun. Just as you were about to fall into a deep sleep, a knock on your door pulls you out of your slumber.

Thank you for your lovely request! Also, here a sexy poster from Five I fell in love with! With every purchase you automatically support me :) https://amzn.to/3yGK6Fm

“Since everything will be dust soon anyway, you won't mind if I just lie down here for a while, will you?”

You're up to your nose under your eiderdown, with only the sound of collapsing buildings coming through your window. It may sound crazy to others, but for you, it's been part of everyday life for a week. Counting every second, spending the last time with your family and savoring it. There is nothing more precious than time. Money has no value anymore, but the ticking hands of the grandfather clock do have.

Your thoughts hover over your head like gray clouds. Since the first day you slept in that hotel bed, falling asleep felt like hell. You tried a lot to finally fall asleep normally again. But every time you closed your eyes, you were met with nightmares, worse than you could ever have imagined. You were sure that this couldn't be the end, it simply couldn't be.

Like every night, you try to push the thoughts aside, to repress them as if they had never been there. But a loud and uneven knocking jolts you out of your sleep like a thunderstorm. You startle awake and clutch at the sheets of your bed. “Yes!” you shout, but it sounded more like a question than an encouragement. You watch every movement, sharper than Diego's blades. As Five stumbles in, you let out a breath you didn't even released you were holding. 

“You scared me,” you mumble. "I scared you, so please, why should anyone be scared of me?" he says to himself. Any blind person would have recognized that Five had probably had a little too much to drink at Luther's wedding. Five doesn't finish the sentence and drops his head down as he continues to mumble to himself. After he fell back against the door, you gave him a worried look. “Thanks for closing the door, but I think you have a concussion now,” I smirk to myself. Five starts to giggle. “The world is coming to an end,” he says, and pushes away from the door again.

You look out of the window that separated you from the crumbling outside world. Instead of bright sunshine, dark red fire dazzles your eyes, bricks fly off buildings and trees uproot themselves. “No, really?” you ask him sarcastically as you turn back to him. You suppress your horror as he suddenly stands right in front of you. He holds on to the edge of your bed. You think about how he managed to approach you so quietly, the alcohol in his blood must be enough to put a chimpanzee down.

“Since everything will be dust soon anyway, you won't mind if I just lie down here for a while, will you?” he asks as he tries to climb onto the bed. “Five, eh?” you ask as you hold him down so he doesn't slide off. He awkwardly pushes himself over your legs, which elicits a small squeak from your mouth. “You're really rough, Five,” you complain, but you just couldn't help the smile on your face.

You had never seen Five so shameless. Five, who is usually so strong and independent, asks you if he can lie down with you for a moment. As you think about it for a moment, you briefly doubt your sanity. Was this a fever dream? But Five's careless hand movement presses your torso so hard into the mattress beneath you that you're sure it would have shaken you awake. “I've never seen you so awkward,” you squeeze your words out of the pain. “I'm sorry, but your bed is sooo soft,” he lulls to himself. You shake your head and stifle the comment that the beds here were all the same.

“Five, why are you really here?” you ask him. He lies down on his stomach and presses his head into your pillow. He mumbles his words into the fabric so that you can only guess what he's saying. “I don't understand a word, you stupid…” you grumble to yourself as you grab a tuft of his hair and push his head to the side. 

Five groans softly as you move his head, his eyes half-lidded and unfocused. You wait for him to speak, but it seems like he’s struggling to find the right words. He’s always been the one with the sharp tongue, the quick wit, and seeing him like this—vulnerable and slightly lost—pulls at something deep inside you.

“I didn’t want to be alone,” he finally mutters, his voice slurred but honest. “I’ve been alone for so long... and I guess I’m tired of it.” His words are a confession, raw and unguarded, much like the state he's in now. You’ve seen Five in many situations—fighting, strategizing, leading—but this is different. This is Five without his armor, without the walls he usually keeps so firmly in place.

You feel a pang in your chest, a mix of sadness and empathy. You’ve always known there was more to him than the ruthless time-traveling assassin he often portrayed himself to be. But hearing him admit his loneliness is something else entirely. "I understand you, Five," you say. He smiles and sightly closes his eyes. "I didn't want to be alone too, so I am happy that you are here now, I would've preferred sober Five, but this is also ok", you smile at him. 

You let your body fall back into your pillows, Five, who was still lying on his stomach, watching you. You put your head to one side and just look at him motionlessly. “Promise you won't tell anyone about the following?” he asks you. You don't understand exactly what he means. “I hardly think I have enough time left to tell anyone anything,” you say, with an unintentional sweep of sadness. “Promise” he whispers to you, while looking at you with begging eyes. Not only the pungent smell of alcohol, but also his seriousness to fly in your face. “I won't tell anyone,” you promise. Without warning, Five starts to move again. He pushed your arm up and curled up on your chest, like a cat looking for warmth.

Seeing five like this was new and made you very afraid to admit it to yourself. He cared so much about maintaining his strong, unbreakable personality that his current behavior frightened you. Despite the unfamiliar feeling of five so close to you, you almost automatically put your arms around his slender torso. His fingers slide onto the sides of your torso, clutching on it as if it was a matter of life or death.

"Five, what's wrong?", you ask him. "I am fucking scared", he lulls. His confession hangs in the air, heavy with the weight of his vulnerability. You can feel your heart rate quicken, the tension in the room shifting as you process his words. It’s a rare glimpse into the inner workings of Five’s mind, and the openness is both unsettling and intimate.

“Scared of what exactly?” you ask gently. “Everything,” he replies, his voice barely above a whisper. “The end of it all… the not knowing". The tremor in his voice sends a shiver down your spine, and you can't help but tighten your hold on him. You want to reassure him, to tell him that everything will be okay, but the truth is you’re scared too. The world outside is crumbling, and the future feels uncertain for both of you. 

He shifts slightly, looking up at you with his tired eyes. “I don’t want to let anyone down. Not you, not the others. I’ve messed up so many times already.” His voice is tinged with a mix of regret and fear, and you can see the conflict waging within him. “If we lose, at least we'll lose together,” you say. It didn't really sound encouraging, but you couldn't think of anything better. “Do you think you'll regret this tomorrow?” you whisper without looking at him. 

Five’s grip on your chest tightens just a little, and you can feel the slight shivering in his body as he processes your words. The silence that follows feels heavy, filled with the weight of the world outside and the vulnerability between you. “No,” he finally murmurs, his voice soft but resolute. “I won’t regret this. I might not remember every detail of tonight, but I’ll remember the way it felt to finally....", you wait for him to end his sentence. 

"feel you", he says, so quietly that you almost missed it.. There is a silence in the room, your body is no longer able to move. Your brain needs some time to process his words. “I went too far, I'm sorry I…” he tries to apologize. He pushes away from your body and leans on his arms. But before he can finish his sentence and move away from you completely, you put your hands around his face and crash your lips into his. 

The moment your lips meet Five’s, time seems to suspend itself. The world outside, with its crumbling chaos, fades into the background, leaving just the two of you in this small, intimate bubble. His initial shock quickly melts away, and he responds with a tentative but heartfelt kiss. His lips are soft and warm, and the urgency in his movements gradually transforms into something more tender and searching.

As you pull away slightly, you can see the surprise in his eyes, mingled with a hint of relief and something deeper that he might not fully understand himself. You’re both breathing heavily, the gravity of the moment settling in. “I didn’t want to...,” Five starts to say, but you place a finger gently over his lips, silencing him. “Don’t,” you whisper, your voice barely more than a breath.

“You don’t have to apologize. Not now. Not ever.” Five’s expression softens, and he looks at you with a mixture of awe and vulnerability. “I’ve been so caught up in trying to control everything, in fighting against the end, that I forgot about what really matters. I didn’t realize... I didn’t realize how much I needed this, how much I needed you.”

Feel free to tell me in the comments, what you think :)

[aekatty]

𝒵𝑜𝑜 𝒟𝒶𝓉𝑒! Ft. Monster trio + Law

a/n: i’m new to posting so no judging pwety pwease. also i wrote this super late at night 🙏

─── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ───

18+!! MINORS DNI

masterlist

─── ⋆⋅ ♰ ⋅⋆ ───

cw: mentions of short reader, all of the guys except law-ish sound like they’re on crack, lots of wrestling, cheesy asf, is this what u do at a zoo?!

tags ✮⋆˙

fluff but mostly humorous, literal chaos, a bit ooc(?), tried to make it gender inclusive, found this prompt through pinterest lol

zoro

when you brought up the idea of going to the zoo, warned him beforehand about the “look but don’t touch” rule

you didn’t want him to see the zoo as a training arena

first suggested that yall go to the beach instead but u declined it saying, “it was too cliche”

he would never admit it but he’s silently insecure whenever he sees you get along well with the animals (whenever he smiles at them, they run away)

a small smile creeps up at the corner of his lips as he watches you gawk at the aquatic animals section

you call the seals, “sea puppies.” he just calls them “water dogs”

purposefully makes eye contact with gorillas to rile them up (he tried to ask the zookeeper to let him inside the enclosure so he can fight them to which you slap him in the back of the head for)

gorillas see eye contact as a challenge to fight

there was an event that happened where the penguins would dive and twirl underwater to impress you

zoro threatened them by claiming that he’ll ask sanji to turn them into “penguin kabobs” if they didn’t stop flirting with his gf (they got scared and ran back to their zookeeper)

attempted to smile at the otters but got scared and swam away

got lost one time and accidentally landed in the chimpanzee enclosure. you couldn’t help but laugh as the keeper got mad at him for beating up the chimpanzees bc they “gave him the stink eye”

the crew made fun of him after coming back from the zoo with a bald patch at the back of his head.

a giraffe thought his hair was grass and you had to pull him away just so he wouldn’t be tempted to use his swords on them

got both of you guys got kicked out after he tried impressing you by using three sword style on a polar bear

luffy

like zoro, u also warned him about the “look don’t touch” rule

like a kid on sugar, luffy got excited as he became enamored with the (in his own words), “big buff animals”

kept asking you which of these animals would make a delicious meal

would point at the monkeys and go, “look, it’s me!”

for the love of god, the rubber boy would not stop cracking up at the baboons and calling them “apple butts”

randomly asked you if you would find him more attractive if he was an actual monkey

he genuinely believed you when you joked about rhinos being “dinosaurs”

“NO WAY!! I THOUGHT THEY WERE EXTINCT!”

“i was jok-“

“WAIT TILL I TELL ROBIN ABOUT THIS! SHE'S GONNA BE SO JEALOUS WHEN SHE FINDS OUT THAT I DISCOVERED DINOSAURS BEFORE HER!”

he kept stretching his face and making monkey noises at the monkeys

(they looked at him with disinterest)

he thought it would be a good idea to wrestle a bear. you got mad at him after he knocked it out with his “gum-gum pistol”

he cried at the sight of the otters because he said that it reminded him of alabasta and that alabasta reminds him of vivi

he asked the giraffes if they were related to kaku and then panicked bc he “thought he was racist” for asking that

“[name], does this mean I'm not woke :(“

you got mad at him after he decided it would be a good idea to put his head inside the mouth of a hippo. the zookeeper almost fainted as the hippo bit down on his head but you assured them that his devil fruit powers would prevent him from dying that easily

you honestly contemplated your relationship with your captain/boyfriend but his stupidity is what makes him charming (to you at least)

he kept asking the zookeepers if he can keep the boa constrictor as a pet

along with wanting a snake as a pet, he kept asking the lions if they could join his crew

got emotional at the sight of leopards bc they reminded him of pedro

like zoro, he got both of yall kicked out after he tried smuggling a lion out of the cage and named it “sun destroyer 4000”

you were more surprised at the fact that you guys didn’t get kicked out earlier

sanji

“[name], my dear, how would you feel if i took you out on a date to a place of your choice?”

“well there is one place i’ve been wanting to go to for awhile.”

maybe going to the zoo with sanji was a mistake, the flirty blonde boy would not stop comparing you to every “cute” animal he saw

for long hair: it didn’t help that he purposefully braided your hair and tied them up to look like bear ears which you look even cuter in his eyes (my headcanon is that sanji knows how to braid hair hehe)

he found it cute that you saw a bunch of reindeers and called them “a family of choppers”

if there was a big crowd of people surrounding an exhibit and you couldn’t see, he would use his height to his advantage by lifting you up to get a good view of the animals

after getting down you were wondering why his nose was bleeding until you realized he had a good view under your skirt

if you’re wearing pants, he just nose bled at the sight of your gyat

you joked with him saying that you would find it hot if he wrestled an ostrich. but sanji being sanji, took it literal and actually did it

the zookeeper yelled at him after the ostrich was left unconscious

flirtatiously asked if you would still find him attractive even if he was an animal

“no, sanji, that would be beastiality.”

felt his whole face heat up after you put on matching ear headbands with him

in response, he tried to buy out the whole gift shop

tried to convince you into buying “i’m his, im hers” shirts but you told him it was cringe which hurt his ego

for gn! readers, bro tried to buy those “im cool, im cooler shirts” cause he a lil cheesy

when you became enamored with the snake exhibit he tried to flex saying, “you wouldn’t have to worry about a snake swallowing you bc i would be there to protect you, my dear”

you compared him to a ram bc you saw him as courageous and determined for his crew

“[NAME] SWANNN, YOU CAN’T JUST SAY THAT OUT OF THE BLUE!” there goes your man…

almost nose bled AGAIN at the thought of you as a red panda while visiting the exhibit (you thought he was tweakin)

got jealous when you said tigers were just as cool as zoro

he compared zoro to a baboon bc he’s always scratching his ass and sniffing his hand after (wait why is this lowk a good headcanon 😝)

you found it adorable as you watched him feed the animals in the petting zoo as if he were their father

he freaked out as the goat stole the cigarette out of his mouth and ate it in front of him.

one of your fave moments of intimacy with sanji would be sharing cotton candy with him as you watched the penguins do tricks in the water

after getting back on the sunny, you decided to surprise him with a ram plushie you bought behind his back

he thanked you by peppering your face in kisses and showering you in praises

“oh my dear, [name]. you don’t need to spoil me like that! it should be the other way around!”

bonus!! trafalgar law

law asked his crew beforehand on “great date spots” to take you out on; to which penguin suggested yall go to the zoo

he never cared for the zoo but as long as you were happy he didn’t mind

got flustered after you mentioned that snow leopards reminded you of him

he bought you a snow leopard plush and you named it “traffy”

you asked him if you should buy souvenirs for the crew

you asked him if you could adopt a polar bear so that bepo would have a friend. he replied with, “no bc he’s already friends with me”

thought it would be funny to teleport you to the lion enclosure until his powers conveniently started tweaking and he couldn’t teleport you back out

you punched him in the head after you came back with scratches from wrestling them

he felt bad for the joke he did on u, so he teleported you to the capybara enclosure as an apology

compared you to a meerkat bc “you’re short but really fast on those legs.” you responded by threatening to give his sword away to zoro

made fun of you after you got startled by him in the insect section. he laughed as you slapped his hand after he pretended it was a tarantula

he likes to install fear into u by explaining different ways each animal can kill you

he would purposefullykiss you in front of the monkeys after they tried flirting with you

the zookeeper had to tell him to stop bc they were afraid that they would break out their enclosure

what pissed him off even more was the fact it reminded him of the rubber boy

after you guys get back to the submarine, the crew crowded you as you gave them their souvenirs. law couldn’t help but smile at your generosity and friendship with everyone

oh yea….he felt himself fall in-love with you again

[jet-teeth]

Finally got caught up on that funky Bravern show the other day and omg. It's so much fun. Have some scribblin' More yelling under the cut (and also mild spoiler alert if you haven't seen any of it:)

Loved seeing more of the other Deathdrives, even if they were kinda short-lived on-screen and all (guess that's what happens when a buncha story stuff needs to get compressed into just 12 episodes)

I'm enjoying the hell out of this silly show it's fucking BUCKWILD. I can't remember the last show that made me laugh this much I am just constantly chimpanzee screaming at the screen Wasn't super sure at first because I was a bit "???" about where this was going in the first few eps but oh my god. It's def become a fav now. It's for sure meant to be a parody of itself/commentary on the entire mecha anime genre and all the tropes that it's loaded with but then the story actually gets interesting too. The TWISTS. IDK it just seems like they had so much fun making this Also, sentient robot characters yippee! (That stuff just seems to be super rare, I've always kinda wondered why, but it's like the mecha genre is allergic to the concept unless you go full into Transformers territory (which is its own whole thing at that point.) Like idk maybe I'm the weird one for loving that idea, but I do wish more of that existed outside of the context of parody or "for little kids" or whatever. Anyway I'll take whatever I can get on that front. I'm adopting all of these idiots) Cupiridas is my fav, Extremely Silly Guy. Kunus (Cunus?) is completely off her shits but I actually love that super wingy design. Pessimism has some really cool silhouette nonsense going on, can def approve of straying from the usual humanoid look. I could throw in some sketches of the main mechs (Bravern, Superbia) but they already get most of the fan art, so I wanted to doodle some of the others..

[laurasimonsdaughter]

What are some of your head canons & ideas for dragon keeping? While I’m a massive lover of dragon rider/keeper fiction in general, I do genuinely believe that dragons would make terrible pets. Owning a dragon being like owning tigers or chimpanzees, being extremly powerful & dangerous wild animals with dangerous/inconvenient habits & needs that are difficult (and expensive) to manage in captivity. Being large, flying, fire breathing apex predators with tendencies towards hoarding treasure making them especially so. 

As with most fantasy, I think it depends entirely on the characterisation of the dragons! I suppose urban fantasy dragons could roughly fit into five broad categories, at least that I've written:

● Dragons that are fully sapient beings. (These dragons are usually large and capable of human speech.) In this case it is out of the question to "keep" a dragon. But you might be its roommate (exhibit A, exhibit B), its business partner (exhibit C), or the dragon might keep you (exhibit D, exhibit E, exhibit F).

● Dragons that are large wild animals. (These dragons are often characterised as naturally dangerous/aggressive, and magical.) This is the kind of dragon you find in dragon slayer stories (exhibit G) and anyone trying to keep one is setting themselves up for disaster.

● Dragons that are small(ish) wild animals. If the dragons aren't (fully) domesticated, but are not particularly dangerous, they can be a fun alternative wildlife to populate a world with (exhibit H). Maybe someone could tame one and keep it as a pet, but it would probably not be a great idea.

● Dragons that are large domesticated animals. (There's a lot of room for variety here concerning shape, size, powers, etc.) In these cases it would be most logical to me if it was possible to keep and even ride a dragon, but you'd need special training to do so, and have access to the right facilities for the dragon (exhibit I).

● Dragons that are small domesticated animals. In this case the dragons are specifically meant to be (mostly) harmless and suitable for rearing and keeping by humans. That could mean "safe to keep in a dedicated enclosure" (exhibit J), or "particularly bred to keep as house pets" (exhibit K, and all my pocket dragons). Compared to most folklore and fantasy dragons (although there is no strict definition of either), you might argue that these are hardly dragons anymore. But all's fair in fiction and I think we deserve tiny dragons that want to snuggle on our laps.

Now of course I tend to write light-hearted things, you could absolutely take any of these types of dragons and write something darker. Either exploring the risks to humans, or the treatment of (magical) animals. That's just not my personal preference ^^

[mpelskuyyy]

Strength of a Gorilla, Dominance of a Chimpanzee, Curiosity and Problem Solving of an Orangutan, Playfulness and Compassion of a Bonobo 🦧🌿

Here are some Blazar art I did recently!! Lately I've been hooked into the world of apes, thanks to The Planet of the Apes and Godzilla x Kong. Learning about apes is so much fun!! When I have the opportunity to draw a certain giant of light with similar traits, I couldn't hold back 😎👍

Also I think I kinda fw Blazarc yeah they're pretty neat 👍👍

[tyrantisterror]

Bringing Up Baddie (Working Title) Character Concepts

Hey, remember a while back when I made those posts about supervillain archetypes, one of which inexplicably became derailed to talk about different doctorates people wanted to see put to use as increasingly terrible supervillain pitches? Well that was for a thing! A thing that I'm currently conceptualizing as "What if we took the premise of the famous screwball comedy Bringing Up Baby, wherein a crazy lady ruins a milquetoast guy's life in the best possible way, and did it with superheroes and stuff?" Well, supervillains, technically.

I was getting that list of archetypes together to try and make some pitches, and I basically took it and got some of the kids at the daycare to pitch power combos and motiffs for me, because who would know better what would make for a fun superhero, right? Anyway, here's some of the working character concepts so far:

Reptillion, with the enhanced powers of a million reptiles!

Just a down-on-their-luck schmuck who got roped into being a test subject for some evil super science while job hunting, Reptillion would be the Cary Grant figure in this tale. The power set was pitched by a child, I swear - for once it wasn't me who decided the protagonist should have a reptile theme! Reptillion is The Big Monstrous Guy archetype, a reluctant monster who will be forced into villainy by circumstance.

Scarlet Sidewinder, the venomous and villainous viperess!

The Kate Hepburn figure in this story was always going to be a Harley Quinn expy of some sort, and when a reptile theme was chosen for the protagonist, it felt only fitting that the deuteragonist would share it. Also, like, snake-themed Harley Quinn knockoff is very much in my wheelhouse. Figuring out her hairstyle has proved to be the biggest challenge - I tried a lot of looks that fit her punk personality, but they kept obscuring the viper eye-horns on her domino mask, which I feel are a more important detail (supervillains shouldn't downplay their motiffs!), so I ended up going with a pair of sidewinder-esque pony tails instead. As both Harley Quinn and Kate Hepburn's character in Bringing Up Baby were before her, Scarlet Sidewinder is The Wildcard archetype.

Scarlet Sidewinder is, of course, the test subject of an earlier version of the Reptillion super serum, one that only focused on snake DNA and didn't give broke shapeshifting powers to her. She initially wants the Reptillion serum for herself as a way to upgrade, but when the protagonist gets injected with it instead, she decides the next best thing is to have a partner in crime with those complementary powers instead.

Konglomerate and Dr. Gibbons, corporate apes!

I decided I want this to be the sort of comic book superhero pastiche that fully embraces how silly the genre can be, and one of the key ways to signal that is to just have, like, a LOT of apes running around. Like how The Umbrella Academy comics just have sapient/civilized chimpanzees make up around 35% of the background characters, and also one of the characters had his severed head grafted onto a space ape (both of these elements were downplayed severely in the TV show for those of you who've never read the comics). Two of the main antagonists would be Dr. Gibbons, a mad scientist who is trying to help humankind evolve into a superior species, and his boss/financier Konglomerate - they'd be The Evil Genius and A Normal Businessman archetypes, respectively, and the ones responsible for mutating both Reptillion AND Scarlet Sidewinder.

Nebulord the cosmic conqueror, Killer Rabbit the pandimensional prankster, and Lugnut Louie the professional killer robot

Just going to throw these three (well, four I suppose, but ignore the Interceptor for now) together since so much of their concept art ended up sharing the same sheets. They're all... not quite allies of Reptillion and Scarlet Sidewinder, but somewhat helpful in their own way as fellow supervillains go. Nebulord is meant to be a big cosmic threat in the vein of Galactus or Darkseid, with the caveat being that in-story we'd mostly see him off-the-clock and dealing with petty day-to-day grievances. I wanted him to feel very Jack Kirby-esque, though I think ultimately it's just a shallow imitation of Kirby's style. He would be the Foreign Tyrant archetype, with a dash of the Planet Eater thrown in.

Killer Rabbit is a Mr. Myztptlk knockoff - I had listed "Killer Rabbit" as the archetype name (i.e. a villain who looks cutesy and nonthreatening but is actually terrifyingly powerful), but my students ran with that and suggested an Alice in Wonderland theme, which I thought was actually a pretty fun theme to play with for such a character. I mean, it's not exactly new ground - there are LOTS of Alice in Wonderland themed supervillains, most of which suck ass (including you Mad Hatter!) - but the whimsical surrealism with a dark undercurrent that Alice in Wonderland embodies DOES fit well with a pan-dimensional imp who uses their godlike powers to fuck with people out of boredom. To keep from retreading the MANY other supervillains who just stole Alice in Wonderland character names, I decided to make Killer Rabbit the name of this character instead of just their archetype.

Lugnut Louie is an old pro, sometimes working as his own boss, but more often than not as a high-ranking henchman. He's the Anything But Retail archetype with a dash of the Big Monstrous Guy, since it's hard for a big ominous murder robot to get jobs that aren't villainy related.

Queen Vespidious, leader of the Hive Mind!

To fill the Mind Taker archetype, I decided to go with the whole "hive mind" bullshit and have a bee/wasp-themed villainess who inducts civillians into her Hive with mind-controlling royal jelly. She also has a loyal second-in-command who'd be a spider-themed villain named Tyrantula - of course, being a spider in a relationship with a wasp, Tyrantula is very much the sub in this relationship.

The Copycat/shapeshifter archetype would be filled by Octomime, a woman with the color changing skills of a cuttlefish and the body-morphing skills of a mimic octopus. Octomime can copy anyone's physical appearance so long as they're roughly human-sized, but her inability to speak means the disguise only works so long as no one notices she's being eerily quiet. She's a deadly supervillain despite that flaw, though, in part because her durable body and deadly tentacles make her a force to be reckoned with even when she's been discovered.

aaaand I've run out of images for this post, so I'll add the more unfinished concepts in a reblog.

[bellaxgiornata]

OMG—I wanna ask the boys for sure—what is their inner animal (respectively) that THEY think they have versus what you think for them, vs what they would assign for each other???

🤣🤣🤣

#letthechaosbegin

If you wanted chaos with this internal dialogue, you certainly found it 😅 The moment I read this ask, two of the boys immediately started causing trouble which is why it took a bit to get this answered 😆 As always, it's below the cut because this was long.

Bella: Welcome back to another round of ASK THE BOYS!!

Matt, muttering under his breath: Always got to yell that now, don't you?

Frank, roughly elbowing Matt on the couch: Let the lady have her fun, would ya?

Michael, ignoring the pair beside him: What's the question this time, pet?

Bella, glancing down at her phone: Looks like a multi-part question dealing with what your inner animals are.

Frank, eyes narrowing: Inner animal?

Bella: Yeah, and it looks like they want to know what I think each of you are, what you think your inner animal is, and then what you think each others’ inner animal is.

Frank, chuckling to himself: This'll be good.

Michael: Why don't ya start us off then, pet? Might need a minute to think.

Bella: Okay, well. I guess for Frank I'd say timber wolf. The Punisher gives me lone wolf vibes, but before that you used to be a part of a pack–whether it was your family or your Marine unit. And timber wolves typically mate for life, too, which screams loyal to me. I think you're a pretty loyal person–and pretty damn terrifying if someone messes with those you care about. So yeah. Wolf vibes all around.

Frank, nodding: Alright. Guess I can see that.

Bella: And for Matt, since he gives cat vibes, I'd say a leopard. Specifically a black panther. They're solitary animals, very territorial, and they're great climbers. Sort of like how you work alone, defend Hell’s Kitchen specifically despite it being such a small area, and you climb buildings like nobody's business. Plus, you know, the black suit and all.

Matt, grinning: Better than what I thought you'd pick.

Bella: And as for Mikey, well, I get grizzly bear vibes.

Michael, rolling his eyes: Is this a reference to the beard and chest hair again?

Bella, shaking her head: Not exactly, though now that you mention it–

Michael, mumbling: Figures…

Bella: No, wait! Hear me out. Grizzly bears are actually not aggressive unless provoked or caught off guard, otherwise they kind of mind their own business and want to be left alone. But obviously they'll protect their young and would savagely tear you apart if you fucked with them. I mean, we all know you don't want to be the killer your family forces you to be, you'd rather get out and live a quiet life. You just want a relationship with your daughter, Anna. But if anyone messed with her, you'd absolutely kill them without a second thought.

[Michael, running a hand across his mouth and humming thoughtfully.]

Bella, gently nudging his leg with a foot: See? There was a reason besides your glorious chest hair.

Matt, brows furrowing together: Glorious chest hair? Did you just actually say that?

Bella, waving off his comment: Okay, so why don't you guys each say what you think your inner animal is before you choose for each other next?

Frank, shrugging: I like the wolf thing. I'll go with that.

Matt, nodding: Yeah, I think I'll stick with the panther idea you had.

Bella, frowning: Seriously? You aren't even going to give it any more thought? [Looking hopefully over at Michael.] Please tell me you're not just going to say grizzly bear now?

Michael, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck: Uh, no. I s'pose…a dog? Generally don't fight unless provoked and they're usually considered friendly?

Bella, releasing a sigh: Fine. At least you put in more effort than those two. Now what do you think each others’ inner animal is?

Frank, immediately tossing a thumb at Matt: Chimpanzee. He's always climbing on buildings and making too much noise with his mouth.

Matt, frowning: It's called talking, Frank.

Frank, leaning back into the couch: More like chimpanzee noises to me. And they're territorial, too.

Michael, quietly chiming in: I'd still say stray cat for him.

Matt, frowning: Well then Frank is a hippo. Large and incredibly aggressive.

Frank, turning and shooting Matt a dirty look: The fuck you call me?

[Bella, burying her face in her hands while Frank and Matt begin to bicker on the couch.]

Michael, once more quietly chiming in: I picture him as more of a hawk. Or an eagle. Kinda stalks his prey from a distance before takin’ his shot.

Bella, glancing up at him: Well thank you for making some level of effort here while the old married couple over there just fights.

Matt, glowering: We are not an old married couple!

Frank, scowling: He's the last goddamn person I'd wanna be shackled to.

Bella, annoyed: Can we get back on track? You still need to pick an animal for Mikey.

Matt and Frank simultaneously: Dog.

Bella, throwing her hands up in defeat: Wow, really making an effort, you two. Great job.

Frank, rounding on Matt again: Look what you did, Red. You went and upset her.

Matt, eyebrows rising up onto his forehead: Me? You're the one not taking her game seriously!

[Matt and Frank return to arguing.]

Bella, focusing on Michael: You want a coffee? Cause I could use a coffee. They're making my head hurt.

Michael, nodding and rising from the couch: Yes. I'd love one.

Bella, heading to the kitchen with Michael: So what would my inner animal be?

Michael, nervously making a face: Uh…well…

Bella, shaking her head: Nevermind. Forget I asked. Let's just make some coffee.

[ntls-24722]

[Reply to this post] @shiro-luxunder

GREAT question.

Debu scientists who weren't loved enough by their parents or something looked at the millenia old Zebrapeople discussion of "what do we do about dubiously sapient species" and thought: "Hey, that sounds fun, why don't WE have that?" So, during the collective 80-year Golden Age of Unethical Experiments (and one of many Infamously Bad Times to be a Minority in Bolur history), Debu created the Frabu, the hybrid between the sapient Debu and the nonsapient Frazi, which is like, the Debu equivalent of a chimpanzee.

Bonus fun fact, or rather bonus fucked up fact, Frabu are a partially fertile hybrid, with frazi already being compatible with Debu with needing nothing more than artificial insemination! Very convenient yet deeply awful!

Now, obviously, creating a "humanzee" no matter how it goes is always a base 10 on the fucked up scale from 1-10, HOWEVER I will say how Babu turned out (out of the two) was LESS fucked up.

Babu was a male Frabu sporting a beard AND mustache, along with long (but sparser) raise-able hairs on his back. Attempts were made to have him speak, but he seemed only able to parrot words (as Frazi are capable of mimicry, though without understanding, like a parrot) (Frazi HAVE been reported using words from Debu languages as a code within their troops, fascinatingly enough). The research team gave up a bit too early with testing Babu as if he were a Debu as he appeared to show no progress at all, and began socializing him with other Frazi, but it was then where they saw his hybrid status shine.

Babu didn't make for a very good Debu but a VERY good Frazi, and it was when he was with other Frazi that Debu were actually able to get some insight into their own evolution. Babu's dextrous hands and higher intelligence allowed him to become the cultural icon of his group, with his toolmaking abilities and usage of them making him not only a useful member of the troop but a very good mate when his tool making was used to compliment his vocal range - he was making rudimentary instruments - and was kind of showing how Debu intelligence evolved through sexual selection, and that kind of evolutionary pressure wasn't thought of or known at the time.

Weirdly enough they kind of just... let him live as a Frazi. He was in a zoo and everything, and he actually had kids, and his great great grandkids are still living in the same sanctuary, which sure is... something. Imagine pointing at a chimp and being like "that one's, like, 3% more human than all these other chimps." I will say, he was reportedly very visibly frustrated at many times trying to teach his troop how to do things.

But Babu, despite his contributions to mousianthropology, was still considered a failure - They sought out to make a Frabu, the middle point between nonsapience and sapience, but just got a Pretty Cool Frazi. So, they tried again, this time strictly socializing this new one with Debu, only allowing them to see their mother.

Banee actually was able to learn and fluently speak Debu language unlike Babu - Babu could've, too, he just happened to be so much of a late bloomer that they stopped metaphorically watering him halfway through. However, Babu being able to speak didn't suddenly make her into a Debu. She was deemed "smarter" than Babu, able to finish certain puzzles and tests of higher reasoning once explained the rules, but under the stress of the hopes of being sapient and being expected to improve forever, she eventually hit a ceiling of her abilities and was catatonic about it.

Banee wasn't really socialized with anyone other than her researcher caretakers, and she was kind of perpetually in the painful kid stage of not getting why things were the way they were and never being deemed "mature enough" to either do things or be explained things, no matter how much she tried to improve. For this reason though, she did get along SPLENDIDLY with Debu calves, they were more playful than her comparatively boring researchers and she felt like she was understood by them. But as she became an inept adult by Debu standards, she became more emotionally unstable, prone to fits and even violence, and when she was no longer allowed to be around kids (who in their sane mind would let their child be around her like this) she got even worse.

The researchers noticed her growing restlessness and distress and, seeing how well she bonds and connects with her Frazi mother, tried to introduce Banee to other Frazi. However, unlike Babu, she makes for a bad Debu and an even WORSE Frazi - She had been too socialized by Debu and no matter how much stress not being able to solve tests and living a Debu life gave her, it didn't compare to the 2 weeks of trying to be socialized with Frazi, where Frazi would start trying to bite and beat the crap out of her!

Babu may have been too Frazi by Debu standards but Banee was truly exactly what they wanted - The uncomfortable middle ground between animal and higher beings, too primitive to be accepted into civilization but too sophisticated to live as an animal, and so, she lived and died outside of the embrace of either :(

[Obligatory "remember when this was a music man AU"]

SPEAKING OF MUSIC MAN,

On a much lighter note, here's the dubiously sapient spitting monkey species! They've got the weird quasi-human intelligence analysis but none of the weird unethical scientific experimentation! They're just born like that, and they're doing fine.

Short faced Zebramen! I thought it'd be funny if the "not(?) sapient" zebramen had flat faces like a human while the "sapient" ones looked more like, yknow, apes.

So, our zebramen evolved from zebraelves when they were isolated on an island, becoming the largest member of the taxonomic family via insular gigantism. They went down from the trees and started walking exclusively on 6's, and started herding other animals on their island, and the learning proper cowboy strats for herding and living off animals became the locus of their evolution, though they did also get pink stripes from sexual selection. Our short-faced guys, though, went further down the path of sexual selection, and are... kind of getting dumber.

They retained base intelligence from zebraelves, but the shortfaced zebraelves didn't really have any reason to keep all of it since they didn't embrace the cowboy life like our "long-faced" zebramen, but rather embraced the hedonism that came on from resource-filled island living. Their faces got flat to better show off the integrity of their stripes, their stripes no longer being stripes but being geometrically pleasing concentric circles. They're still capable of language, as their vocal cords and range actually are superior to those of zebramen, also for the purpose of being Sexy.

Though, intelligence wasn't completely useless! After all, we're so good at STABBING, why lose it? Shortfaced zebraelves, along with nicer stripes, have begun to fight for mates, still retaining their tool use and tool making abilities to make knives for the purpose. They're completely dissolved from the eusociality their ancestors had before, and have become a little less social than zebramen due to the competition, which manifests in them being less emotionally complex or compassionate.

I mentioned zebraelves had a really strong sense of uncanny valley because there were spitting monkey species that look exactly like them. This is the one!

Hive elves look exactly like zebraelves, except they have a higher nose bridge/snout, and smaller eyes, just barely outside the range of zebraelf genetic variance. Even worse? Individually, hive elves are pretty much animals.

A hive elf is wholly incapable of verbal language, deeply undextrous even with similar hands, and are VERY violent towards non-hive elves, or those outside of their colony. However, their dubious sapience status doesn't come from their individuals, but the colony as a whole. Verbal language is less important when you still retain some of the pheromone glands that most spitting monkeys use to, yknow, spit (spitting monkey slime-jet-things and spinnerets are derived from scent glands, like a skunk's spray), and an individual's dextrous hands can achieve much more with the help of others. They even festoon like bees, where they stand in a line as a form of measurement when building houses, not holes or tunnels in the ground - HOUSES. And yet an individual is pretty much just an animal!

Hive elves, as the name suggests, pretty much took eusociality and put it into overdrive. They're a deeply emotionally and socially complex and while they are a deeply scary, mandela-catalogue ass concept in-canon, they are very fascinating.

I've mentioned quagga-elves before, but these are the only spitting monkey outside the genus of zebraelves and zebramen. Very closely related though - if zebrapeople are genus pan (chimps and bonobos) quaggaelves are like a gorilla rather than being, like, another species of chimp.

I feel like these guys are the most "sapient" of these dubious sapients on account of their only setback being that they don't have a complex language but they're getting surprisingly far with making simple noises cued by gestures. With those bigass peepers no wonder these guys are more visual.

Speaking of being visual, they make art! They make art, just like other sophonts, and are the best out of all 3 dubious sapients of making tools, which might've been a result o not having spinnerets (which is interesting bc zebrapeople's evolution towards tool use was aided by their spinnerets) - the genus that zebrapeople are have uniquely refined the little jets for shooting slime into silk by reducing its water content. Quaggaelves retain the "basal" condition of being a "spitting" monkey that shoots slime from there, not a "silking" monkey like whatever those knuckleheads are doing.

They haven't become eusocial either, but they're still a very communal and social species, more like zebramen than the zebraelves.

[dumbgoondog]

Cursed AU(Part 2)

Cw/Tw - Death

Ft. Toji and Megumi

Father and Son cuz I did unc and nephew togetha. Anyways I got ideas that I’m so real for.

TOJI FUSHIGURO

Monkey like creature. With metal growths around his wrists, neck, head, biceps, maybe his ankles too. He has a tail it has a hand on the end. Chimpanzee like build but massive. Kinda King Kong ya know? Why? Sun Wukong reference duh, and he’s a sun Wukong parallel pre-journey. Self serving, greedy, hungry, very powerful, the massive ego. Then you have the battle with Gojo as a direct parallel to Wukong’s confrontation with Buddha.

Toji also comes off as playful, and his smile is dangerous. Monkeys and apes are also notorious for sleepin around an being horny, which is also very fitting. I also think Toji with monkey feet and a tail is horrifying in an arousin way. I think he’s got some earth bendin metal bender shit and can harden his body. I think the metal growths can absorb some of an attack from somethin wit cursed energy to add a resistance or negation if weak enough. Personality wise? I think as a curse he cares way less about money and more about having fun plus food. He also doesn’t want anyone having any authority over him. I think Mamaguro was a human, a window. He fell in love they had their hybrid Megumi but the strain was to great on her body… and she passed away. Megumi, his little blessing in this world, the gift from his wife, the gift that he could create life even as a curse… unlike normal Toji I think he doesn’t leave Megumi, that’s his baby boy, his troop, he will defend him. He’s all he has and god knows what those sorcerers would do with his little chunky monkey?

D-EVALUATION

Sheath, BIG BALLS. Monkeys have massive balls so these thangs bigger than normal Toji’s. These bitches also hang still! Still hairy as FUCK. Not as stanky, but more musky than anything. Length 9in, 5.2in girth, he has a knot with a 6in girth. It’s metallic in color like his growths but is softer than metal. The entrance of his sheath is pierced. The tip is a bit more pointed but blunt too, it’s angled, the head isn’t too defined from the rest. Balls still are for breeding, standard curse cum in color. His dick color tho, I’m imagining a dark maroon.

MEGUMI FUSHIGURO

Like father like son. He’s a monkey like guy, except instead of metal it’s shadowy inky shit, think Sukuna demon dogs. He’s a little more humanoid and not covered in fur like Toji, think destined one from Black Myth. Give him black longer nails almost like claws. His technique is still 10 shadows! All of his shikigami are more ink monster like tho. He has a tail he hides by wrapping it around his waist, but no hand on the tail. He’s got more human feet tho. If you put him next to Toji they look very similar but upon closer inspection they’re different.

Personality wise I think Fushiguro is resentful of humans, that if his mother and father would have been accepted by humans then she could have gone to a hospital, that she could have lived! He still saves Hana and he meets Tsumiki and they become childhood friends that see each other as family. He’s a bit of a thief and spy for hire. He’s still quiet and angsty, but he’s got some more witty and snarky remarks to share, he learned them from his dad. Boy has a BIG appetite too, like dad.

D-EVALUATION

Sheathed, big nuts not much hang tho. Length 7in, 5in girth. Fucker is a monster, and he’s got a knot with 5.7in girth. His tip is pierced, Prince Albert just the stud ends not a hoop. He’s more humanoid in shape however at the base it’s got that Smokey inky black stuff like on other parts of him. His cum is white, but his dick is a reddish pink.

[justkidneying]

Why some crossbreeds work and some don't

We can breed two types of dogs together (same species), or a donkey and horse together (same genus), but you can't breed a cat and dog together (fucking obviously). But why? And why do we even want to crossbreed things in the first place?

As for the why, that's simple: hybrid vigor. Also known as heterosis, hybrid vigor is the idea that crossbreeds have better fitness (ability to survive and reproduce) than their pure bred parents. Mostly, this term is used in agriculture and animal husbandry, but I think it leads the way for an interesting discussion (and we're definitely going to get weird in this one ;)). Sometimes though, crossbreeds are shittier at certain things. Think about a camel x llama mix. They wanted it to have the six of a camel but the hair of a llama. As far as I am aware, this program was not very successful.

Genetic Basics

For every gene, you have two copies. Each of these alleles is a bit different. Some are dominant and are expressed in the phenotype (the observable characteristics of an organism), while others are recessive (but they can still be passed on). There are other types of gene expression, but I won't go into them here. One hypothesis on why hybridizing an organism gives it better fitness is due to these dominant alleles. The theory states that as a population becomes more related, more of the recessive traits are allowed to be expressed. When you introduce a new genome with dominant alleles, you can overcome the shitty recessive ones.

Crossbreeding corn and shit is really cool and interesting, but I'm not a plant scientist so I'm not going to talk about it. We're going to talk about animals instead. So crossbreeding is mostly between things that are the same species, so think of Goldendoodles and Texas Heelers. There isn't a lot of research actually showing that mutts are inherently more fit than their parents. The main thing you can overcome is inbreeding depression (like how bulldogs don't live that long). Most traits associated with inbreeding are from recessive alleles. But sometimes you actually want to inbreed if you're looking for a specific trait (like a bloodhound's nose).

Crossbreeds that Work

Now onto some more fun stuff (in my opinion). The number of chromosomes and the relation of two species will let us know if they can crossbreed. I'll give some animals and their number will be their number of chromosomes.

Dog (78) + Wolf (78) = Wolfdog (78)

Bos tarus [cow] (60) + American Bison (60) = Beefalo (60)

Horse (64) + Donkey (62) = Mule (63)

Alright, so the first example would create a wolf dog that can reproduce with another canine. They come from the same genus. Same thing with the bovines. Next, we get to the mule. Horses and donkeys are from the same genus, but they have different chromosome numbers. This means that the donkey contributes 31 chromosomes and the horse contributes 32 to the offspring (which is actually either a mule or hinny depending on who tops). The offspring will be sterile due to its shitty code. Mules are way better (imo) than horses or donkeys, and that's why a lot of people prefer them for doing work. However, you cannot say they are more biologically fit, as they cannot reproduce.

So mostly you can see that the crossbreeds are happening in animals that are of the same genus (though you can't always breed two genus members together). You can go less related than that, but I'm not a biologist, so I don't know many examples off the top of my head. One famous one is the marine iguana/land iguana hybrid from two members of the same family (family is a step above genus).

Crossbreeding in Humans

Now, onto humans. We have 46 chromosomes (22 pairs plus two sex chromosomes [X/Y]). We also happen to have our own genus (Homo), and the closest relationship we have is to chimps and bonobos. They both have 48 chromosomes. We share about 96-99% of our genetic code with chimpanzees. The difference here his chromosome number two. This is the chromosome that gives us the difference. Our #2 has the same info as two chromosomes in chimps. Therefore, it's thought that this is due to chromosomal fusion in our evolutionary history.

In saying this, I want you to know that we also share like 85% of DNA with dogs as well, because a lot of DNA is just being alive, having a spine, and being on land. Shit like that. There's not as much difference in animals as people like to believe.

We're gonna get weird now. So, there have been attempts to crossbreed chimps and humans, and they were unsuccessful (they were in the USSR). But if it is entirely out of the realm of possibility? No idea. I argued with some of my classmates about this for a while. There have been bigger jumps in crossbreeding, and I think we won't ever really get an answer to this anyway. I feel gross and I'm going to move on now.

One animal has successfully been hybridized with humans: mice. Transgenic mice have either human DNA inserted in their entire genome, or they may have it only in some cells of the body (chimerism). This is mostly to test disease and stuff, it's not as cool as it sounds, they're mostly just getting them to express things like interleukins. This has sparked debate however, about whether or not this is against nature or whatever. I think it's a dumb argument cause fuck it do whatever you want, but I believe that a lot of this sentiment will stagnate research and advancement in this field, so...

Where is the line between one species and another?

A weird note to end on: HeLa cells. These are a cell line from a woman's cervix (who died in the 1950s) that now have about 76-80 chromosomes. While they can't crossbreed in the normal way, they can fuck up other cell cultures. If another line is contaminated with them, HeLa cells will dominate and their genetic markers will be found in that of the resulting cell line. This made me circle back to the point about transgenic mice. The controversy from politicians was about where you draw the line about what is human and what is not. You can say a mouse with 1% human DNA is not human. But what about a 50% match? What about HeLa cells? Are they no longer human cells, and when would a line have been crossed? Anyways, just some food for thought. Thanks for reading my ramblings.