#chicken buys a house

[hurryupmerlin]

This is incredible. Turns out if you stop worrying and overthinking, and just DO stuff, you can do basically everything. It's not rocket science.

Look at these acrylic joints! I made these! I made these all by myself!!

[hurryupmerlin]

Thank you for the tag <3

I haven't drawn or written anything since the last time I was tagged... but I could offer this:

I made these holes in the wall. That's kinda art too, right?

Last Line Challenge

Rules: in a new post, show the last line you wrote (or drew) and tag as many people as there are words (or as many as you feel like). 

Thank you for tagging me @mamuzzy-creates-stuff <3

I've been slowly on and off poking at this for months now (between 50 other projects *cough*). Gonna put it under read more since it's.. uh.. a lil suggestive. Last thing I drew was his scar because my lil dumbass forgot to add it in until now.

NPT: @ithillia @hurryupmerlin I don't know who else to tag so if you see this, I tag you!

[megumi-fm]

.

[aritamargarita]

GOLDEN || 008

HOLD YOUR APPLAUSE!

now i welcome you back… you’ve landed at the golden train station destination, don’t forget your luggage when exiting the train yippee!

i hope you get a couple of laughs out of this…because after a certain point literally nothing is going to be funny anymore *WINK* you know, in both series, i think we just can't have nice things lol.

with this series of unfortunate events, i present to you [name]’s bizarre adventure. *lights dim, curtains fall*

THAT MATCH MADE you feel pretty unsatisfied. All you can hope for is that this future Sable storyline can give you more than whatever you're doing right now. The night is still young, so there are many things waiting for you.

BACKSTAGE // 7:24 PM

You’re the last one out. The other three were already making their way down the hall by now.

You’re not exactly satisfied with that match from earlier. Truth be told, you wanted to wrestle with Chyna a little longer. Even though you were goofing around, you knew for a fact that Chyna had more than an irish whip in her arsenal.

You want her at her full potential! You’re sure she wants you at your full potential too.

If only you were put in a storyline with her instead of Sable, sigh..

You're not exactly alone back in gorilla either. As soon as you hit those curtains, Bret was leaning on the wall. "Done for the night?"

You look at him with a smile. “Yes.” You weren’t really impressed overall with your match, and you’d tell him this much. “If you were watching, don’t be surprised. I didn’t do much this time..”

Bret shrugs it off. “I still think you did something out there. That’s all that matters. Let me tell you a little secret,” He comes closer so that you can hear him a little better. “Shawn’s got a real big habit of making things all about him. Trust me, I know.”

The way he said it makes you raise an eyebrow. Now you’re really curious..

“..Still, I think you stood out tonight.” He continues.

“Couldn’t keep your eyes off of me, eh?” You tease. “I get it. Everyone seems to have that problem when they meet me.”

“Your name must be trouble, then.” Bret grins at you. “Causing it everywhere you go. By the way, what ever happened to watching me wrestle? Think it’s a little unfair if I can only watch you.”

"Listen, I wanted to tell you sorry. I kiiinda just wanted to go back to my hotel." You explain. “Other than make that one ringside appearance, there wasn’t anything to do, you know?”

“I guess I better back out of our bet, huh?” He stuffs his hands in his pockets. “Don’t know if I can trust you to hold up on your end of the deal.”

Bret must think he looks really cool doing that. You’re almost flattered.

“Oh no!” You say, dramatically putting your hand on your chest. “Whatever will I do?!”

“Hmm. Could make it up to me.” He says. “What do you have planned tonight?”

“Nothing…but..” You cross your arms. “If you’re about to say what I think you are, I thought the whole deal was if I talked to your crazy friend?” You hadn’t seen Pillman the entire show, let alone the last show. “I haven’t even seen him yet..”

Bret shrugs. He didn’t have an answer at first. “Well, maybe the guy’s just a little shy. You might’ve missed him. I talked to him the other day and funnily enough, it just so happens he talks about you a lot. I don’t blame him, but if I were you, I’d check the match card for tomorrow.”

Hmmmm……

“You don’t blame him, huh..” Whatever that means. “And I’ll check. Now, what do you want from me?” You’re sure that Shawn must’ve been looking for you by now, especially since you fell back.

“You said you’ve got nothing planned tonight, right?” Once you nod your head as confirmation, he smiles. “We’re gonna grab something to eat.”

“Is that an order or a request?”

“Whatever you want it to be.”

You’re not sure how to take that, but if there’s one thing you like, it’s people who are forward with what they want from you.

It’s probably another thing on your imaginary list that Terry’s instilled in you overtime. Closed mouths do not get fed. He’s got a lot of good lessons..

“Okay, okay. That’s fine.” There’s something else that’s been killing you, so you just go for it. “When you mentioned Shawn making things all about him, what did you mean?”

Bret decided to put it bluntly. “If you really want to know, he’s just a smart ass. Guy thinks he’s at the top of the world these days. I’m surprised no one told you what happened last month..”

“Not at all.” What exactly happened?

“Last month, I lost the WWF Championship to him and not in the way you think. That asshole put me in the sharpshooter and the bell rung without me even tapping.“

Damn. That’s crazy. You couldn’t even imagine the atmosphere backstage after.

The only thing you can say is; “Wow.”

He chuckles, which makes you tilt your head. “You should’ve been there. I ended up ripping a chunk of his hair out.…can’t say it might not sound a bit anti-climactic in my words though.”

“And this was like a month ago?!”

“Yeah. You just missed it. Believe it or not, we were actually pretty good friends a while back.”

“Seriously?” Though you’ve only known them for a little while, they seem like they’re from such different worlds. Then again, opposites do attract.

“Seriously.” He nods. “My only advice to you right now is to be careful who you trust. You’re in the lions den. Personally, I don’t think it’s wise to stay there.”

If you leave the “lion’s den”, where else could you go? You’re fully capable of making a name for yourself, but the ladder may work a little different here.

There’s more questions you want to ask. Hundreds of them, even. But things are cut short when you see Shawn yet again sauntering down the hallway with his arms open.

“Heyyy, I knew something was wrong! Didn’t see ya’ behind us!” He chimed. “You know you’re apart of the group, what do people say these days? No one left behind? Because you’re apart of the group, you know?”

He placed a lot of emphasis on group. Something that makes you look at him in confusion and makes Bret raise his eyebrow at him.

“Man, I sure LOVE being with D-Generation X,” He continues. “You know, the group. Now if you excuse us, we’ve got somewhere to be!” Shawn slings his arm around you and tugs you down the hallway.

“Sorry.” You turn your head towards Bret with an apologetic look on your face. “See you tonight?”

Shawn’s really starting to get on your nerves with this. It almost makes it worse now that this ‘Montreal Screwjob’ put that slight sour taste in your mouth about him.

“I feel like I’ve gotta put a leash on you or something.” Shawn chuckles. “Always wandering somewhere else.” You want to find the sweetness in his words, but you literally can’t. You’re too pissed off with him dragging you away like that.

With you giving no response, not even a sarcastic one, he suddenly stops. You step away and just stare at him.

With what Bret told you, could you really find it in yourself to trust Shawn? Could you even trust D-Generation X as a whole?

Somehow, you feel like the only person you can trust is Chyna. But maybe that’s because you have an fondness for her.

"What?" He asks. "Why're you looking at me like that?"

You simply shake your head and continue down the hall. The locker room must’ve been only two doors down.

“Woah, woah!” Shawn yells, speeding up so he can catch up to you. “Hold on a second there..!”

You don’t slow down or say anything to him as you open the door and head over to your things to hastily pack them. You need to find a nice outfit and you’d much rather do it alone.

Chyna and Hunter give a look to each other before turning back to you in confusion. Shawn’s making hand gestures towards you, but they have no fucking clue what he means.

You shoot the other two a smile before grabbing your luggage. “Have a good night.”

“Yeah…uh, you too.” Hunter replies.

After his words, no one really says anything else to you. The three of them just watch you push past Shawn and walk out the door.

“Man, you must’ve royally fucked up that one.” Hunter muttered. You didn’t seem to be in a good mood at all. “The hell happened?”

Shawn waits a moment before finally gathering some words together. “Yeah, yeah. Listen, it’s for her own good. You don’t get it, she was talking to Bret. Shady business, guys! We’ve gotta follow her.”

“I don’t think you should do that.” Chyna recommends. “You should leave her alone.”

“That’s a good idea.” Shawn thinks about it for a moment. “Buuuuut that’s not gonna happen. ‘Cause what if she leaves us for the Hart Foundation?! She was talking to Bret earlier. Sounds like they’ve got plans. Plans for what exactly?!”

“Dude…” For a second, Shawn thinks that Hunter wasn’t on his side. “…Holy shit, you’re right. She might just leave us. The woman’s new, this may be a test drive!”

Chyna couldn’t believe that Hunter was feeding into this. Seems like you couldn’t have friends outside of them. The more overbearing they are, the more you’d want to leave the group, and she most definitely didn’t want that to happen. “You guys—“

She tries to be the voice of reason, but the other two just weren’t hearing it.

“Get the car ready!” Shawn yells, quickly grabbing his own stuff. “She’ll be gone before we know it, this is a mission we can’t fail!”

You wanted to look nice. Not for any particular reason, of course. You think what you’ve scrapped together is good enough, so you pose in the mirror one last time for good measure.

This isn’t a date or anything. It’s just two co-workers hanging out in their spare time after the show. Yes, that’s right. Just two co-workers. It’s for business and whatnot.

Sure enough, the car ride didn’t entail anything that interesting. The two of you just sat in silence for the most part. Both of you were just focused on the road in front of you, with little small talk.

You didn’t know what to say. Neither did he. But there was a smile on your face that just wouldn’t go away as you idly drummed on your knee the entire time.

The thought crossed your mind to offhandedly mention how you almost cracked your head open when he called to tell you that he arrived. Just for light banter. You ended up not saying anything.

Finally getting there was different. The moment you two got out of the car was the moment you two could talk about everything in the damn world. At least he was nice enough to open the door for you.

You didn’t really know why, but you figured that you should get a feel for him, see what he likes to talk about..

This is really weird.

“Are you cold?” Bret suddenly asks. “If you want to, you’re free to use my coat.”

“No, I’m good.” You say. For some reason, this is genuinely making you nervous. Even though you’re hanging out.. “Thanks anyway.”

It is a bit chilly outside. Then again, it is December.

He opens the door for you again and you're suddenly hit with warm air. It feels much better. You just hope you don't start to feel uncomfortable with the heat by being there for too long.

It's not too much of a fancy restaurant, nothing five star or anything along those lines. It's just a local one in the town, you think.

It’s definitely not a Waffle House. This one guy in your life had a tendency to take you there at 2 in the morning and call it fine dining. By no means were you complaining about the food. The food is good. It’s just the idea.

The waiter greets you two. Bret’s the one that does all the talking as your eyes seem to wander off somewhere else.

You notice that it’s pretty quiet for the most part, though you can see people chatting away at tables.

Somehow, seeing people like just hanging around like this reminds you of when you were just like any other person. Right before you got into wrestling. It’s different this way.

The feeling of not being famous, you suppose.

It reminded you of that period of your life where you didn’t know what exactly you wanted to do. You guess you were at the right place at the right time because you got scouted in a strange way.

More than likely because you were nice-looking, of course. But you’re more than just looks and you demonstrated as such in your very first match.

Before you’re able to spiral in your thoughts any further, Bret has to tap you on the shoulder to get you to follow him.

“Whoops.” You mutter. And you follow right towards the dining room. Once you’re seated in a booth, the both of you are passed menus. “Ever been here before?” You ask, doing your best to make conversation.

“Nope. I just think it’s a nice change of pace. I’m the kind of guy who’ll eat fast food. But hey, I just said screw it, let me at least try to leave a lasting impression on a new friend.” Bret says, scanning over the menu. He wishes that the lights weren’t so dim in here…

“Ah. You and me both.” You too, we’re a victim of fast food. McDonald’s fries were too good to pass up. It’s like a tradition for yourself to go after every show.

Things are a bit different now. You want to try and get a better feel of the WWF’s schedule first.

On another note, it is safe to say you’re decently impressed. You just hope the waiters here weren’t as temperamental as Waffle House waiters.

“Hola! Oh shit, I mean, bonjour.” The waiter says in a terrible French accent. “I’m your waiter, Sèan, that’s right, don’t forget the apostrophe on the E, how may I take your order, eh?”

You don’t really comment on it, instead focusing on the menu. You’re not that hungry either. Somehow, that match had zapped away your appetite. Maybe you should just order ten cocktails and get drunk or something.

Actually, no, no. That’d be really embarrassing.

You lift your head up to give the waiter a smile, but once you do, it immediately falls.

…You look over at Bret, who was simply scanning through the menu unfazed. Did he seriously not know who this was?

Did his voice not give it away? You’ve gotta be kidding. This has to be some king of joke.

How did Shawn even nab a waiter outfit anyway? And most importantly, who glued that mustache to his face?! Is no one else pointing this out??

More importantly, he picked such a stupid name. Way to disguise yourself.

Still, Bret hasn’t noticed. But if he does, then you both more than likely are going to leave. While you’re pretty upset that he followed you here, you wonder how this’ll play out.

“Um..” You rub your temple. “Wow. Okay. Hi, Sèan with an apostrophe. Can I just get a water for now?” You start to wonder how in the hell he’s going to get access to the kitchen.

“Oui!” He gives you a thumbs up and you cringe. Honestly, you never thought you’d be in a situation like this in your life.

“Same here. I can’t figure out what I want for the life of me.” Bret says.

“You could get lost.” Shawn mutters, his eye twitching.

“Huh?”

“What? I didn’t say anything, kind sir. You wanted the water?”

As Bret gives his response to him, you start to wonder why your life has to be this way. Out of all things that could've happened..why in the world would Shawn follow you?

He leaves and you take a moment to rub your face with your hands. For once in your life, you'd just like to meet someone who wasn't that obsessed with you. You have had plenty of bad experiences already.

Meanwhile, Shawn is slightly panicking. You definitely knew that something was up. He goes over to another table, holding up a notepad. “Guys, we have a dilemma. I call this: Code Alfredo.”

“That is a stupid codeword.” Chyna blatantly says behind her menu. And quite frankly, she thinks what they’re doing now is stupid too.

Hunter slightly leans down the menu that’s covering his face. “I’m totally for it, man. Don’t worry. What happened?”

“I think she knows! I’m gonna try and get access to the kitchen. These idiots don’t even know I don’t work here.” He chuckles. “Slipped right under the radar. Hell, you could get your own uniform if you wanted to, Hunter.”

“Always wanted to try my hand at cooking.” He says. “Guess I’ll get ready for my shift, heh.”

“If she sees the two of you, she’ll know something is up. And I don’t want her to think that I had anything to do with this.” Chyna says, lowering her menu. But she, just like you, wanted to see how it’ll play out.

Shawn just laughs. What makes her think she’s not going down with this ship?! “The hell do you mean?! You’re deep in it now! You definitely play a part in this.”

“Ugh.” She groans, waving her hand and bringing up her menu to cover her face once again.

“C’mon dude. We’ve gotta get you a uniform.” Shawn nudges Hunter to get up. “And you’ll never guess what I did, I asked a camera crew to come over and we’re gonna….”

And back at your table, things seemed to be the same as always. You just can’t believe Shawn’s even here.

You’ve gotta find a way to make the best of this situation, maybe even try and distract yourself from the fact he came. Easier said than done.

“So, uh.” You cough out. “I’ve heard stuff about some kind of award show called the Slammy’s. Know anything about it?”

“Yeah. Most of the Hart Foundation is going, so I’m obligated to go too. I’ll be honest, I didn’t want to go.” He admits with a smile. “Thought it was dumb. Especially since I’ve already won last year. Three times.”

“Three?” You’re surprised. He must be good, damn. “What did you win it for??”

He counts them out for you with his fingers. “Best Submission. Best Music Video. Believe I was Hall of Fame bound as well.”

“That’s a lot stuff. Pretty cool.” You smile. And it was. You originally thought that you couldn’t imagine being picked for something like that, but apparently, you did! “I got nominated, too. Least I think I did. I think it was Miss Slammy?”

“Then I know who my votes going to.” He immediately says. “No question.”

You scoff. “Oh, you…”

“By the way, it’s pretty common for you to bring someone to the Slammy’s with you. Did anyone ask you yet?”

“No. Not at all.” To you, you figured that was a given since you were new and all. No one really knows you like that.

“Guess this is my opportunity then. Are you interested in going with me?”

Suddenly, yet another waiter comes by and you groan.

This time, you can identify him as definitely Hunter. He has a stupid chef hat on, and his glued on mustache may have been falling off, but he can’t hide those blonde locks of his.

“Compliments of the chef.” He sets your drink down and you look at it. Gotta be some variation of soda. This isn’t water.

“Hey, uh. I wanted a water…” You say.

“My bad.” He swipes it back up, then turns to Bret. “What did you want, dude?” Of course, his customer service was really bad. But you can’t talk…

“I just wanted a water too.”

You’re not understanding how Bret hasn’t caught on yet. Maybe he’s not paying attention too well enough. You kept seeing Hunter’s eyes darting behind Bret, which struck you as strange.

“Hey. Did you know Shawn Michaels won the Slammy’s five times last year?” Hunter suddenly says.

“What—?” As Bret is talking, a circular tray is smashed on top of his head and he crashes down to the floor. You immediately jump out of your seat.

You’ve gotta be fucking kidding.

Shawn dramatically rips off his apron and ushers the cameraman to come closer so that they could get a good shot of this beatdown. "You think you're better than us?! Tell your little foundation to stay away from our new recruit!" He kicks him.

"Stop that!" You yell. The attention was on all of you as Shawn continues to kick Bret. In attempt to stop his assault, you jump on his back. The people surrounding you are just enjoying the show at this point.

Because you're currently trying to choke Shawn out, Hunter takes over and starts laying blows onto Bret. Chyna has to come out of nowhere in order to try and separate you from Shawn.

Once she lifts you off of him, you look behind you. "Oh my god! You too, Chyna?!"

Well, now you know for sure this restaurant wont be allowing you guys to come back.

Ever.

i'd like to give an explanation as to why she stopped having “a thing” for shawn so quickly.…..the answer is clearrrr, it’s absolutely raven’s fault…she will never see being the slightest bit clingy as a good thing again LOL.

ngl this chapter was a struggle thanks to motivation and tumblr breaking every 5 seconds. i wasn't very happy but i think it just needed a new set of eyes (aka you who's reading lmao) i thank you for reading, big things are coming!

[authorofemotion]

I was out picking wild black cherries in the alley behind my house today and looked down to see

there is not meant to be a chicken in the alley

[saint-nevermore]

Not paying you shit so you can waste it on weed

so you come into MY house, tell me what to do with my life, then imply i waste donations on weed. who even are you? do you know how weird it is to rock up to strangers anonymously to be a cunt? do you want to kiss

[randum-famdoms]

GODS FUCKING DAMNIT WHY DID MY PARENTS DECIDE THAT A HOUSE LESS THAN 100 FEET AWAY FROM A HIGHWAY WAS A GOOD FUCKING IDEA

[chesacakeripper]

Still thinking about the interaction I had over the weekend (where there was genuine right wing unrest in my city waheyy) where I popped a message onto my colleagues-but-we're-friends-we-go-for-drinks-and-dinner-sonetimes chat to make sure ppl were staying safe (many of us are of various minority groups) and I get a bit salty about how the police were mostly being shit and harassing the counter-protestors and one person pipes up with 'I don't subscribe to the acab thing sorry 😂' after talking about how many police were injured in other unrest and like.

I had to fully disengage myself because I work with and am friendly with these folks but sometimes you get smacked in the head with an opinion and suddenly lose the trust and respect you'd been building for someone over the last year huh

[fslurusami]

i think edogai likes birds. i think edogai would keep pigeons and chickens and quail and guinea fowl. and maybe a peacock

[hurryupmerlin]

This is the exhausted no-filter face of a woman who spent two days in a state of constant anxiety, barely survived the morning on a pulse of 200, shaking, then got up and in the car, spent an hour listening to the notary version of Eminem rapping down two contracts, essentially signed over her soul to a house she can't even afford if we're brutally honest here, left with ringing ears and somehow still survived all of this

In short: now matter how scary adult life is, you somehow always get out of it alive and in the end that's all that matters.

[venting---machine]

i feel so overloaded. and the pathetic thing is that im not in a particularly distressing situation, it's just that all the tasks of daily life that need tending have piled up and now i feel like a taut rope threatening to break under the slightest pressure.

[woodnrust]

Mannn I'm literally trying to find easy recipes but they all call for ingredience... fucked up

[brick-van-dyke]

It's gonna be 39C (102.2f) and we don't have an aircon fuckkk I hate Australian summers. Especially since, at least here, it's humid af as well.

[umilily]

Lily help some of my friends and I have been playing Stardew Valley as Crazy:B and I ended up as HiMERU but I'm starting to relate to that identity thief blueberry

omg that sounds so fun!! i hope you've been growing loads of blueberries, got some blue chickens and made himeru wear the silliest hat you could get your hands on lol

[metalst]

I was literally made for those bulk purchasing stores please

[robotpussy]

im just gonna have to use the cera ve in my bag i cant take this anymore