#chicago med nbc | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

plotting-against-you · 2 years ago

Text

My Own Worst Enemy

Fandom: One Chicago

Characters: Halstead Sister Reader, Jay Halstead, Will Halstead, Dr. Charles, Ethan Choi, Maggie Lockwood

Summary: You have a relapse in your anorexia, and no one knows until you show up at Med.

Warnings: Eating Disorders (i.e., anorexia) and their symptoms and habits.

Author's Note: I know nothing about anorexia, so I had to google it. If this comes off in any way incorrect, please know that I'm sorry. Also, if you ever find yourself in this situation, please seek help...I know it's hard, but we want you safe and healthy.

It started with a harmless comment. That’s what anyone would have thought, though you knew it wasn’t harmless. Not to you at least.

You had just gotten a full-time job at your local library, which seemed heaven-sent. You’d always loved being around books, so it all seemed to click when you found this job online.

Then the comment came.

You were eating during your allotted thirty-minute lunch break in the staff break room a week after starting when two women walked in from another department. You hadn’t met them yet but cringed when you saw their figures.

You hadn’t had the easiest time growing up. You were constantly picked on and developed an eating disorder at sixteen. Coincidentally, that was when your mom got sick, so you hid your illness in an attempt to keep the focus on her. It worked…until it didn’t.

You’d landed in the hospital where they diagnosed you with anorexia, and you’d had to work extra hard to come back from it ever since.

Seeing the women and their “perfect” figures didn’t make you recoil as it once would have, but their comments did.

“Girl, you brought a whole package of turkey to work? How many sandwiches are you planning on making?”

The other woman shrugged. “Don’t make fun of me! I like my turkey sandwiches, okay? Besides, you know I could eat a whole horse and not gain a pound.”

You looked down at the leftover beef stew in front of you and slowly laid down your fork. You had been having a stressful time recently with the new job, and your already fragile psyche took the hit as if it were a personal attack on you.

Boxing up what was left of the dinner you’d had at Jay and Hailey’s the night before, you tossed it in the garbage and grabbed a water.

“This is all I need today.” You told yourself. “I’ll do better tomorrow.”

…

You hadn’t done better tomorrow.

In fact, it had been weeks since you had started up your old habits. Luckily for you, it was easy to hide the signs from your family since it was just Jay and Will, and they’d both been working weird hours, making it impossible to see each other.

You had just gotten home from your day at work, having had nothing more than a bottle of water for lunch, and leaned against the couch in exhaustion. Though you grew increasingly tired every day, you found it hard to sleep at night.

You knew that was a symptom of the disease that had come back in full force, but you refused to accept it.

Dropping your bag, it made a thud on the floor, and you blinked your eyes a few times to clear them of the dots that danced in your vision. You were dizzy, but you refused to call your brothers for help.

Just as the thought entered your mind, your phone rang, and everything went dark as you reached to answer it.

…

You woke up on the floor behind your couch, your head pounding, your stomach growling, and your phone still ringing.

Reaching out an arm to search for your phone, you pulled it to your ear and scrunched your face in annoyance. “Hello?”

There was a pause. “Thank fuck.”

You continued to lie on the floor but opened your eyes in confusion. “Excuse me?”

“I’ve called you like twelve times.” Jay’s voice said on the other line. “I thought maybe you had been hurt or something.”

“I was napping.” You lied, though you figured it was close to the truth. “It’s been a long day.”

Jay snorted. “You work at a library. How hard can that be?”

“You’d be surprised.”

He ignored you. “Well, did you forget that you were supposed to meet Will and I at Molly’s for a drink tonight?”

“Shit. That was tonight?” Between focusing on work and spending your free time counting your calories, you’d forgotten about the invitation from your brothers. “I’m sorry. I’m exhausted.”

“Are you sure nothing’s wrong?” Jay’s voice sounded concerned.

“I’m fine, honest. Just tired. Rain check?” You ignored the fact that you were still lying on the ground.

Jay sighed, disappointment filling his tone. “Okay. We’ll do it another night.”

“Thanks, Jay.” You told him as you hung up.

Then you lay on the floor, resting a hand on your aching stomach. It had been some time since you’d put anything other than water and some nuts into it but couldn’t bring yourself to care.

You would soon be at your ideal weight, and everything would return to normal.

…

You nearly screamed when you brushed your hair the following day and found a large chunk of it tangled in the brush. Your hair started falling out again, as it had when you were younger, and you sighed.

You knew you needed help, but you didn’t want any. You liked this control, and you liked having this ideal image in your head.

Ignoring the anxious pit in your stomach, you continued to get ready for work and left your apartment. Everything would be fine, you told yourself.

And it was…until midday.

You had been in the stacks trying to locate a book for a patron when the dizziness set in. Blinking it away, you reached for the top shelf when the world tilted on its axis, and you were suddenly lying on the ground staring up at the ceiling.

People were around you immediately, but everything sounded like a train flying past your ears. Sitting up, you waved everyone off but let your director pull you into the first aid room.

He grabbed a bottle of water and had you sit while he pulled out your emergency contact information. “You’re okay, Y/N. I’m going to call your emergency contact to pick you up and get you checked out.”

Groaning, you tried to stop him. “It’s okay, really. My brother is a doctor. I’ll just get him to check me out after my shift.”

The last thing you needed was for him to call Jay, your first emergency contact, or Will, your secondary contact. They would freak out, and you didn’t want them to know anything about this.

“Y/N, you collapsed. That’s not something we play around with here.” Your boss told you.

You shook your head and went to stand when the world went black again, and you crumpled to the ground.

…

“Dr. Choi! We’ve got incoming.” Maggie yelled to the physician and turned to the ambulance bay as the doors opened.

“What do we got?” He asked, running over and meeting the eyes of the paramedic.

“Thirty-year-old female collapsed at work twice. Lost consciousness on the second fall. Severely malnourished and dehydrated. BP is low, and so is her blood sugar.”

Looking down at you, Ethan sighed. He knew what this probably meant and knew your brothers would be worried. “Mags, keep them out of my treatment room until after I’ve finished.”

“You got it.” She told him and looked at you worriedly.

As they transferred you to a hospital gurney, Ethan shined his pen light into your eyes. “Y/N? Can you hear me?”

Your face contorted in disgust, trying to escape the light as you nodded. “Hmm…yeah.”

“Can you open your eyes for me?”

“If you stop shining a light in them….” You muttered but instantly felt terrible. “I’m sorry….”

Ethan shook his head. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for, Y/N.”

He rattled off a bunch of tests to the nurse before you bit your lip. “I’m screwed, aren’t I?”

He sighed. “Y/N…you know how this looks. You can either let me run a bunch of unnecessary tests, or you can let me call Dr. Charles, and we can get this over with sooner.”

“What about my brothers?” You asked meekly.

“I can keep them out until after you talk to Dr. Charles if you want?” He suggested though he knew he’d have a battle on his hands.

You nodded. “Please.”

“Okay. I’ll have Maggie page Dr. Charles, and we’ll go from there.”

…

While he usually walked into work at a leisurely pace, Will found himself rushing inside to meet his brother. “What happened?”

Jay shrugged. “I don’t know, man. Her boss called and said she’d passed out twice at work today, but when I got here, Maggie and Ethan told me I had to wait out here.”

Turning to look at the nurse, Will’s eyes held fury before Ethan stepped in. “Will, she asked for some time. Dr. Charles is in with her right now, and then you can go in.”

“Dr. Charles?” Jay asked him. “But why would-”

The thought dawned on both brothers simultaneously, and they looked sadly at each other. It had been nearly fifteen years since they had dealt with this, but it looked like your worst enemy was back and swinging.

The door opened, and Dr. Charles walked out of the treatment room. “Boys. You can go in now.”

Jay took off the second the words came out, but Will stayed back, looking at his colleague in fear and anguish.

“Is it…it’s back, isn’t it?” The redhead asked him.

The seasoned doctor sighed. “She’s permitted me to tell you this, so yes…her anorexia is apparent again. She said she’s been dealing with it for a few weeks now.”

The eldest Halstead looked towards your room and sighed. “I wish we’d known. It’s the same thing that happened before, you know? We didn’t know until she ended up in the hospital.”

“This can be a tough thing.” Dr, Charles told him. “But you know as well as I do that recovery is possible, and you had to know that a relapse could happen.”

Will nodded. “Yeah, I just thought we were in the clear.”

“Well, I can tell you that we came up with a therapy plan and scheduled a meeting with a nutritionist. I can also tell you that your sister is very strong but very scared of what you might be feeling, so please…go in and see her.”

Nodding almost robotically, Will moved over to your room and sighed as he took in your appearance. “Hey, kid.”

You raised your tear-filled eyes to him but kept your grip on Jay’s hand. “I’m so sorry.”

Will moved forward instantly and came to your side, brushing the bangs out of your face. “You have nothing to apologize for, Y/N/N.”

“What happened?” Jay asked quietly.

You bit your lip. “I’ve been really stressed lately, and then someone made a comment at work…it just slid away from there. I didn’t mean for it to get this bad.”

“When I called you last night, and you said you’d been napping?”

You looked at Jay sadly. “I had passed out in my apartment and didn’t want to tell you.”

“Y/N…you can’t be doing this to yourself,” Will told you. “I know you’ve started on a plan with Dr. Charles, but will you let us help you, too?”

You nodded slowly. “Please. I need help.”

“And you’re going to get it,” Will promised his little sister.

Jay sighed. “Listen, I think you should move in with Hailey and I…at least for a little while. It might be easier to handle if you have support around you.”

You snorted. “You just don’t want me home alone in case I relapse again.”

He looked at you sadly. “Can you blame me?”

You shook your head. “No…no, I can’t. And I will take you up on that offer so long as Hailey’s okay with it.”

“She will be. You know she loves you.” Jay smiled, though it was strained. “You know we love you, too, right?”

You nodded. “Yeah. I love you both right back.”

#one chicago fanfiction #halstead sister #jay halstead #will halstead #nbc chicago pd #chicago med #eating disoder trigger warning

305 notes · View notes