#chewing drywall my dudes

[aletterinthenameofsanity]

Does it ever hit you that for Charles Rowland, death was kinder than life? That he never felt something kind until the night he died? And that when he did finally die, when the peaceful, kind glow of Death arrived, Charles sacrificed Heaven for the boy who had crawled out of Hell, the boy who was the first person to be kind to him? Do you ever want to chew some drywall?

[impmansloot]

out of context WIPs

rules: if you're tagged, make a new post and share one or two sentences (or lines for artists) from your most recent unposted WIP with zero context.

hey thanks for tagging! @russenoire

fine. he will be perceived.

[rindomness]

rin i am so deeply unwell about cecil palmer.

his mother didn't talk to him except to prophesise his death or remind him he doesn't exist.

his dad made him climb into a tree and get eaten by the smiling god??

he doesn't remember his childhood.

he used to go back to his abandoned childhood home and sleep on the sofa. it's probably demolished now.

he can't go to the grocery store anymore because he's afraid of auctions. and for good reason !!

he was raised by his sister and she always resented him for it.

he describes his family history as a ghost story. his childhood was a ghost story. his life is a ghost story.

he keeps having to watch other versions of himself die.

he didn't choose to be the voice of night vale, it was chosen for him whether he liked it or not. he probably can't quit or resign, he'll probably be the voice until he dies.

leonard burton died in his arms. his interns keep dying or leaving or growing older than him and moving on with their lives while he stays where he is.

his main coping mechanism is Denial and drinking to forget

he dies in a tree every year???? interesting lifestyle choice

terrible things keep happening and he can't do anything about it except narrate !!

also a mirror is gonna kill him. how is he supposed to deal with that. can he not go to walmart?? cause they sell mirrors at walmart !! does he have to call the store before coming in like "hiiii can u pls cover your mirrors or put them away". does carlos do most of the shopping just in case? then what did he do before carlos? does he have mirrors on his car? do his friends cover their mirrors when they know he's coming over? do all reflective surfaces make him nervous? what is it like knowing that such an everyday item can kill you? does he wake up every morning and wonder if today is the day?

SORRY FOR THIS you just reminded me of 171 and that episode makes me feral

DUDE ME TOO WE CAN BE UNWELL ABOUT THIS WEIRD GUY TOGETHER

the tree thing makes me unhinged like WHAT is going ON with that. if it is the smiling god that brings up even more questions. mostly questions about the smiling god honestly!

his entire family is a wreck i really do hope that part of him and Abby talking again was them, like. talking about that a little bit because could you IMAGINE being in that position. like. what do you even do about that

him in 171 being like did your mother tell you she was an oracle before she left like WAUGH. we know that his position as the Voice was prophesied his mom was an oracle was she the one who told him? if so was that the only interaction they had that wasn't her telling him he was going to die/didn't exist or fucking hiding from him? considering his Entire familial situation it's a wonder he's as functional as he is.

the mirrors i want to scream about the mirrors ok . ok. like. YEAH does it apply to every reflective surface or just mirrors? going grocery shopping at all has to be a nightmare yeah no kidding. you know those mirrors sometimes in the drink aisle? how the fuck do you deal with that? do you just shut your eyes? do you just avoid it entirely? I know carlos doesnt do all their shopping bc cecil keeps reading off requests for him to pick stuff up from the store in texts so like How did he deal with that. do night vale stores just not have mirrors?

driving must be a nightmare too you're right i didn't even think about that before holy shit. Can he drive? How? You need to use your mirrors while you're driving. does he walk everywhere? does he have like a bike? a scooter even? i think he can drive bc of first date but like that must be So stressful. I'm just. so. so mentally ill about the mirrors. he was so fucking stressed out by eunomia's visor it made me stressed out how do you lead a functioning life that way

in conclusion thank you and i wanna chew electrical wires about this man

[notcaycepollard]

took my adhd meds and spent two hours diligently doing the wrong thing (reading the comments in ao3 bookmarks of my fic) here are some of my favourites:

a worryingly domestic character study

five fics in a row bookmarked by the same user all with the comment BRO

well hello there new hyperfixation

Twink Bucky getting on

Seb like “well shit I never say no to playing a role of a sad gay twink, i guess”

the Narrative.

Multi organism steve [I’m sorry bookmarker I know you meant multi orgasm because that is in fact the fic but this is making me laugh so much]

yes its just porn but the characterization is, really really remarkably good

bro when will it be my chance to have what they have 💔💔💔

fucking and fisting him into oblivion but make it cute

low key heartbreaking

VERY RELATABLE.

CHEWING ROCKS !! EATING DRYWALL !!!!! i’m sittin here CHEESIN

sambucky is so good because I like enemies to lovers but also big beefy men being lovers [me too, bookmarker, me too]

the BALLS on this mf for his FIRST INSTINCT to be WAXPLAY

the repression was not repressing

steves genetically engineered super-soldier-ness vs Sam with a Gun. 0:2

good for them

Maybe the real Soviet sex drugs were the friend(s) we made along the way.

sam and bucky in their get along t-shirt, except the t-shirt is in fact a luxury wine cabin

"dude. you moved in. you met my family. we discussed getting a cat" "IDK MAN I THOUGHT IT WAS SOME KIND OF INTRICATE RITUALS BRO SHIT"

I have a type and that type is "looks like he'd like it if you slapped him in the face during sex"

NO REYLO [this fic] ONE REYLO

art museums art museums art museums!

Get printed. Get tattooed.

Ain’t queer if we don’t touch, Bucky says, moments before fisting him

this hurt me in ways i didn't know i could be hurt

This author is like a masterclass in how to write karmically-satisfying villain porn.

Yikes [the correct response to this fic]

do threesomes fix your toxic friendships this fic posits: maybe

love to read about a guy ruining everything in his life

When noncayce is "back on their bullshit" it is the very best bullshit

this fic literally changed me. I think my cells have mutated

guess ill die huh

guess ill die pt 2

Absolutely filthy but in a sweet way.

(I can’t post the simply-complimentary comments because I would die of embarrassment but what a nice two hours to accidentally spend)

[ddelline]

anime twt rage bait dudes evidently so good at their assignments I’m reposting my own angry twt rant aimed (partly) at them

i.e., let’s hear it one more time for how cooked most average fandom spaces are becoming by reading abt me:

finally catching up on tybw cour 3 (genuinely a generational feat, chewing drywall it’s So Good)

VS

catching up on tybw discourse (never vacated an online space as promptly, also never wished to set myself & ye Average Anime Opinions twt blue check Guy on fire so intently)

[tricornonthecob]

LK 102: The Morphine Intolerable Acts

(pt1) (pt2) (pt3) (pt4)

British Jail AKA Death by Consumption. I feel like Lt. Brampton is gunning way too hard for a promotion. His superior officers probably hate him.

You may have served under Major Phillips, but only Major Phillips served absolute cunt in the Seven Years War.

This guy is FUCKING CREEPY punch his ass, girl!

ooooof creepy AND manipulative as fuck. Fuck this guy up

Chauncey in the back is just like "girl just LIE. LIEEEEEE. I wanna go back to bed. I wanna go back home to Chesterfordmooreshire-upon-Scumblo."

Not only has she decided to commit possible treason, but she's educating, too!

Ah yes the Feminine Art That None Of Us Asked For But Was Learned Due To Society: Acting Spacey And Dumber Than You Actually Are And Its Really Upsetting When It Works, Why Does It Work.

He's on to her. I wonder how many women have used that Feminine Art on him just to get away from his predatory ass.

Chauncey is relieved.

"...oi he's gonna make us keep lookin', inn't he."

"...bloody toffeenose. Never would've happened in Chesteryorkfordtonshire-on-Bumgle."

Is that a new horse or does Caesar have a blaze now.

Yeah, officer, they caught all the feelings.

Oh is he gonna

LORDT he sure did

What a fucking flirt. Also Moses just having to bear witness to it. He's both exasperated as hell and ships it. You know that Pac Rim meme giftset where the dude goes "Oh no she's hot" and the girl goes "oh no, he's hot" and the girl's dad figure just goes "...Oh no." ? That's them.

Bro wtf her bed is so fucking NICE

oh my fucking god this goDDAMN SCENE I WENT SO FUCKING FERAL FOAMING AT THE MOUTH WHY DID THE VOICE ACTOR HAVE TO MAKE JAMES SO SOFT I AM CHEWING ON THE DRYWALL AND TURNING INTO THE CRYPTID FROM THE HYPERFIXATION MEMES.

Ok bye now I'm going to scream into my pillow like a schoolgirl.

[thatscarletflycatcher]

Having both De Gaulle's and Churchill's account (this was one of my grandpa's most prized possessions and I got it after he died) of WWII around is pretty interesting.

On one hand, because De Gaulle is a much more pleasant and engaging storyteller. Mind you, that doesn't mean he's more accurate or anything like that, but he works the concept of a memoir as "the things that happened as I remember them, and the impressions I got from them". Churchill is doing a heavy, heavy chronicle, full of transcripts of telegrams and letters and communications and maps every 2 paragraphs or so, which might be very useful to the amateur historian, but that makes the experience of reading it as a narrative akin to chewing drywall (hence why I have never really read it before; just read a bit here and there about specific events).

The fun part here is the contrast when the perspectives collide.

In early June 1940, De Gaulle is made secretary of the Ministry of Defense in France and sent by the president on a mission to London, where he meets Churchill for the first time:

"Mr. Churchill received me at Downing Street. It was the first time I had a meeting with him. The impression I got of him reaffirmed my conviction that, led by such a fighter, Great Britain would never bend. Mr. Churchill seemed to be prepared for the most difficult enterprises, as long as they also were grandiose ones. The certainty of his judgement, his vast culture, the knowledge he had of most of the matter regarding the countries and men he dealt with, and at last, his passion for the specific problems relating to war unfolded with ease and pleasure. Above all he was made, by virtue of his character, to act, risk, and play his role decidedly and without hesitation. In one word, I found him decided in his position as guide and chief. Such were my first impressions. What followed did nothing but confirm them, revealing to me as well his eloquence and the profit he derived from it. Whatever his audience was -multitude, assembly, council, even a single listener-, whatever the spot -in front of the microphone, at the tribune, at table, or at his desk-, the original, poetic, and moving torrent of his ideas, arguments, and feelings gave him an almost infallible ascendancy within the dramatic environment in which the poor world panted. Able politician that he was, he used that angelic and diabolical gift to stir the passivity of the English character, as much as to impress the spirit of the foreigners. Even the humor with which he seasoned his gestures and phrases, and the way in which he sometimes used politeness and sometimes anger, showed to which point he dominated the terrible game in which he was immersed. The harsh and painful incidents that happened several times between us, caused by the friction of tempers, the opposition of certain interests of our respective countries, and of the abuses that England committed to the detriment of a wounded France, influenced afterwards my attitudes towards the Prime Minister, but in no way did they affect my opinion of his qualities. Winston Churchill always appeared to me, from the beginning to the end of this big drama, as the great champion of a great enterprise, and the great maker of a great History.

Churchill does not record this meeting at all. He cannot have just "forgotten" or dismissed it. You don't forget meeting a 6'5 dude of extremely idiosyncratic posture and manner, specially if you had to deal with him on a regular basis afterwards. The painfully slow and detailed telling of his memoirs don't allow for "it was insignificant enough".

The first mention we get from Churchill is something the like of "I went to Paris to see Reynaud, and there was a very tall fellow walking the gardens".

The fourth time Churchill visited France in 1940 is at a meeting and dinner they both attended. De Gaulle recalls an encouraging comment Churchill directed at Petain, then this:

"Mr. Churchill showed himself imperturbable, full of drive, but keeping a polite reserve in front of the cornered french; he was already overcome -and perhaps not without a certain secret satisfaction- by the terrible and magnificent prospect of an England abandoned to its fate at the island, England that he was to guide to salvation through effort... After three hours of discussion that led nowhere, we sat to dinner. I was by the side of Mr. Churchill. Our conversation strengthened the trust I had in his will. And him, in turn, I am certain, drew the conclusion that De Gaulle, though without material resources, was not a less resolute man."

Meanwhile, Churchill:

"After an interval, we were led to the castle, where we found Reynaud, mariscal Pétain, general Weygand, air general Vuillemin and some others, including the relatively young general De Gaulle, who had just been made sub-secretary of the Ministry of National Defense... Around ten o'clock everyone took their places at table. I sat by the right of Reynaud; by my right was general De Gaulle."

That's it. That's all he had to say.

Don't get me wrong, De Gaulle's text is full of elegant darts at Churchill's manipulative, petty and sly doings and sayings, he's not like, The VictimTM here. It's just very funny that De Gaulle goes "Churchill was a great chief of war, because he was determined and master of himself and also a manipulative backstabber", and then Churchill goes "De Gaulle who? I have no idea who this tall and not very young person whom I needed and used and tried to get rid of and couldn't and who irritated me and annoyed me to no end is".

*All quotes are my translation from the Spanish translations I'm reading from, sorry.

[separatist-apologist]

Ok I’m seeing all the halsin posts and I’ve been playing bg3 for a minute and I can’t find him! I’ve got all the main party members and now I’m just bee boping around the first area before I proceed to up my level and I can’t find Halsin anywhere!

Does he not join until I advance to the next section or am I looking in the wrong places? I feel like I’m missing out, I wanna play with bear daddy too

Have you gone to the goblin camp? If you're struggling to find him, here's your path

Go to where Minthara is, like that area. There are two ways in, I'm assuming you take the path up the stairs by where Dror Ragzlin is. So go that way, past the empty bookshelf to the ladder. Go up the ladder, kill the three goblins guarding the bottom, and then turn left and open the door.

That'll take you to the worg pens. Kill the children (THEYRE GONNA RAT YOU OUT JUST KILL THEM), the worg handlers, and whoever that dude butchering those meat pieces is. There is a bear in the pen next to the worgs who will help you fight as long as you've either already killed Priestess Gut, Dror Ragzlin, and Minthara OR you don't throw rocks at him for Astarion's approval.

Once you've defeated the goblins, the bear will turn into a man. Halsin will thank you, you can say, "YOURE the healer?" which I always picture is said with breathless wonder like oh okay well I saw those crusty druids and you were NOT what I was imagining oh my GOD you're so TALL- and he's so self-depreciating like "no need to use honorifics when you saved my life" and tragically your next question can't be an offer to undress him LARIAN CALL ME RIGHT NOW I JUST WANT TO TALK-

Anyway he'll invite you to join him in the grove and then shift into rat form and vanish. Go back to the grove, listen to him yell at Khaga (assuming you didn't kill her), and then join him at the tiefling party where you can insinuate HEAVILY you'd like to take him into a nearby bush and [redact] him into the dirt. He'll decline but he does this thing with his hand that makes me immediately start chewing on the drywall.

In the morning he asks to join you on your quest into the shadowlands and he's yours! Finish his quest, and then you get this banger of a line, "But perhaps theres more that I want," once you've concluded Act 2!

[genderqueeradrien]

THAT TOMMY VIDEO GOT ME GOING CRAZY AND CHEWING DRYWALL. WHAT THE FUCK DUDE. OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH

I HAVENT EVEN FINISHED WATCHING IT YET IVE GOTTEN DEEPLY SIDETRACKED READING MY OWN POSTS WITH MY HAND OVER MY MOUTH . ITS SO SCARY HERE

[thinkingabout-girls]

🐀 squeak squeak(i am going to chew though your drywall or perhaps brick)

dude my fucking drywall (or perhaps brick)

[cillixn]

Hey would you drop your reading list? [if you have one that is] — your friendly neighborhood spideyman

sure! so spidey my dude, i wasn’t sure if you were looking for books or fics so i’ll just do both ☺️

so for books, i’m currently reading richard hell’s autobiography i dreamed i was a very clean tramp, as well as witches, sluts, feminists by kristen j. sollee

after that i’m probably gonna read just kids by patti smith and i thiiiiink i’m gonna reread tomie by junji ito

as far as fics, i feel terrible bc i’m SO behind 🙃 but here are the fics that currently have me by the throat:

pleasure and pain by rottenpumpkin13 on ao3

whole day off by @acapelladitty (literally clawing my face and chewing on drywall in anticipation for the next part lmaooo)

the lockdown sessions by @cillmequick (i mean, obv. fr am i really recommending you fics if i don’t throw my literal all time favorite in here?)

i’m also currently tucking into both family ties and bend the rules by @peakyscillian (apologies in advance to laura for how absolutely fucking annoying i’m gonna be about both of these fics 🙈🙈🙈)

[u3pxx]

dude i just found the mea culpa zine in my inbox a week late and your comic is about to make me start chewing theough drywall. it’s so well set up. you are hurting him what the fuck. im distraught. please post that thing

LMAO thank you! im so glad it got the intended reaction pftt <3 and very late apologies ...

if its any consolation when i thought about the part with mikeko trying to wake apollo up i had to audibly scream "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" and had a physical reaction to it 😔 before i start laughing maniacally and rubbing my evil little hands together and twirling my evil mustache of cour

[dashboarddiaries]

The Dashboard Diaries Awards

that's right, we're doing AWARDS now. and we want your input on not only who should win what award, but who should be nominated.

go listen to the episode and then come back and take a close look at these categories - our personal nominees are included as a jumping off point, but we want to hear from YOU! reblog and scream in the tags, send us an ask, email us at dashboarddiariespod@gmail.com, reply to the post, whatever floats your boat. we're going to track folks' submissions over the next few weeks and then you best believe we're putting the poll feature to work.

so without further adieu...

Most Niche Discourse/Fandom Drama what's the weirdest thing you've seen people be in a froth about on tumblr? so far we've got:

realm shifting/energy vibration discourse

barbie doll fandom drama

Best Blorbo self-explanatory. who is THEE best blorbo? our nominees:

Bucky Barnes

Joel Miller

Eddie Munson

Puss 'N Boots

Dream of the Endless

Lynda Carter

Billy Butcher

Steve Harrington

Most Shippable Couple also self-explanatory. let the bloodbath begin:

Scully/Mulder

Merthur (Merlin/Arthur)

Black Bonnet (Blackbeard/Stede Bonnet)

Steddie (Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson)

Nandermo (Nandor/Guillermo)

Calliette (Calliope/Juliette)

Memed the Most memes are the lifeblood of tumblr:

Breaking Bad

Live Slug Reaction

Tickets to Barbie

Goncharov

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Best TV Show for Making Gifsets we could stare at this loops for hours:

Stranger Things

Santa Clarita Diet

Arcane

Dragon Prince

Severance

What We Do in the Shadows

Succession

Always Fixating / Best New Fixation what makes you chew through drywall? for us, it's:

Stucky

The Last of Us

Our Flag Means Death

Goncharov

Heartstopper

Best “Day of the Week” Meme every day a little holiday:

Energy Sword Sunday

Miku Monday

Sweet fat of the hog Tuesday

Tuesday again? No problem

It is Wednesday my dude

Out of touch Thursday

How the fuck is it not Friday Thursday

Flat Fuck Friday

Radical saturday

Stranger than Fanfiction (shows/movies that feel like fanfic in the best of ways) we built this city on tropes and ships:

Our Flag Means Death

Venom II

Heartstopper

and now we want to hear from YOU!! send us your thoughts for additional nominees that should be in these categories!!

[goblinselfshippr]

Screaming hollering chewing through drywall because BRO I GET TO HEAR MY FAVE UNCLE SPEAK SOON (i hope). I'm gonna chew on his fucking arm (and probably get sick because who knows what that dude has pumping in his human suit)

PS there are zombies in this arc and I want it known that I HATE zombies. Like yeah, they're gross and creepy, but also, they make me very very sad in my core, and so I'm this weird mix of terrified and depressed.

[lunapwrites]

three knocks: 2 3 11 15 😍

Ahhh, three knocks my beloved <3 <3

2: What scene did I first put down?

So I did in fact write this in order, no jumping around. So the first scene -- Tonks describing the brutal murder of Lucius Malfoy -- was the first one I wrote. :D

3: What's my favorite line of narration?

EASY!

The escape itself was a blur of moonwashed stone and screams. She remembered the copper-sweet tang of blood on the air, the sucking rasp and rattle of dark cloaks, the icy wisps of her breath as she whispered curses into the dark. She remembered the guards falling before them, thinking these are my brothers. She remembered fangs flashing against Black fur, thinking this is my blood and blood will out.

Like I wrote that and I was like I HAVE PEAKED. I WILL NEVER WRITE ANYTHING THIS GOOD AGAIN. (I know, logically, I can only improve BUT it felt that way at the time lol.) I still read this line though and I just get so fucking hyped.

(My next favorite is probably the bit where Remus makes bad jokes about mauling people and immediately calls himself out like "ah, too soon." Like YES TOO SOON MY DUDE but also no babygirl, you have never done anything wrong in your life ever.)

11: What do I like the best about this fic?

LILY. Good god. I love the way I wrote her here. She is soooooo !!!! UGH! Like I know that I tell people that her entire cadence and way of speaking in this fic is based off of Hannibal Lecter (Silence of the Lambs version) but like... just this polite, restrained malice. This logical madness. She is a tiger in the grass with blood in her teeth. She is beautiful and terrifying and she knows it. I fucking adore her.

15: What did I learn from writing this fic?

Honestly it's that the limit doesn't exist. Have thought, put it on paper. Go chewing-drywall levels of insane over it. SOMEONE else will love it, I promise. Don't get caught up in the "well I don't know if people would--" no. Don't worry about people. Don't worry about getting it perfect. Once you let worry beta for you, you've started digging your fic's grave. Just write what makes the brain go brrrrrrr. The rest will follow.

Disclaimer that I do often need to take my own advice here lol

Thanks for the ask!

From this ask game! Inbox is always open. :)

[sea-salted-wolverine]

The vibes the arcane characters give off are just,

Silco and Vander are estranged exes that may or may not still be legally married.

Powder was the cute pet that Silco adopted and loves very much despite the fact that he has no idea how to care for it. Sevika just has to fucking deal with her bosses feral purse dog chewing through the drywall and biting people whenever she gets anxious.

Caitlyn is the sheltered college kid who just got to step out into the world for the first time and is instantly in umpteen different activist groups and is constantly getting smacked in the back of her head by the Privilege(tm).

Viktor is too busy working himself to death. He's too busy. Dude. You're so busy, you're not even doing science anymore, you're just squishing things together and trying not to blow up. Where is your scientific rigor? Repeatable results? Multiple trials? Not saying you should vaporize another lab assistant, but come on.

Mel is the smartest person in every room she's ever been in and she's bored. So she found the most chaotic himbo she could, gave him unlimited power and money, and meddles a bit for the fun. Oh a blockade, wow he's managed to pass off every powerful person in piltover in under 48 hours, thats gotta be a record. Day 3 of Councilor Talis and hes staged a coup. Look at him go. And now he's starting a war. Wait no, that was my mother.