#cheryl didnt even get to be MEAN. and like i dont want to be like why did they all end up together but it just felt like a checked box

[kurtzhot]

the thing about riverdale season 7 is that even though it is textually the gayest season it is so easily the worst at being textually gay. they robbed kevin and clay and cheryl and toni of doing anything interesting or having a meaningful relationship with any other character all season and their song in archie the musical is boring af. but the subtextual gay relationships are insane because the characters spend their screentime doing other stuff and have hopes and dreams and stuff. archie and reggie are wrestling in their shared bedroom and worrying that their respective passions for writing and basketball will take them away from eachother. gay kevin and clay are in love i guess because they keep telling us they are. do you see what i mean or am i being an asshole

[sumeria]

Is cheryl blossom a good person

hard to say. i think cheryl wants to be seen as a good person very badly.

i think in her head certain actions that are actually quite bad and silly and detrimental such as locking herself in her mansion for 7 years, that seemed to her like a noble and good sacrifice when in reality she was just wallowing in self-pity and letting hiram ruin the town.

by and large her actions are actually really fucked up and awful.

in s1 she is mostly an antagonist who bullies and manipulates others and burns down her house.

in s2 she is extremely racist wrt josie and chuck. shes mean to ethel and in general a shithead about the carrie role.

in s3 shes really the queen of microagressions in her relationship with toni and she fucking pressures her into joining a cult, and in general is a bullying shithead in s3 too.

s4, idk, producing and selling alcohol to minors is pretty fucked and so is gaslighting your relatives about cannibalism and so is having your brothers corpse hanging around the house. also being shitty to toni

in s5 she decides to curse everyone in town because they didnt apologize for something they had no clue about, is weird and kind of racist towards toni and fangs again, and while ultimately a funny and victimless crime its still shitty, art forgery

s6 she cursed a baby. come on.

the only genuinely 100% good-natured moments cheryl has expressed to me that are not immediately tainted like 5 minutes later by her pulling the most fuckshit know to man are her taking in britta and being willing to sacrifice herself to stop the comet. even helping archie get forged was less about her goodness and more 'itd be more of a pain if this idiot died because we need him to fight percival'. same with resurrecting a bunch of people tbh. a lot of the good she does is sort of immediately tempered by her going ugh this is so irritating :/ or her explaining her motivations why shes doing this good thing

ig tldr i dont think shes a good person but i love her anyway

[fkyumerica]

they tried to make me a garbage mexican

how fast do they swing

that time together

then theyre in at the bar

back is the queers, right front more bisexuals when they  it, families on left

and queers, any age i am their age hi

and sex too whoa were the same

and when the boy stomped off stage they went right and attacked to left

no and me

1:40

notice the crows at the right after

nuts crowd

strongerrr

she was the gayest wife

i dont want her i want to take care of the kids

then them gay

i will take care of you all

when they invaded

it never happened yet

at us

gays around us

then insane since

them

and no its you

to all of them

i mean they outnumbered us

by 10s

each family

holy crap you do what you want

and one says it

each fucking time

where do they attack

with a young one

or shes it

saw one

gay eyed through window to another queer

mom

mexicans their pedophile kids

stayed short for it

and dumped mom

hey dad

if a female is going

and shes always in the car

i gay let it out

shit

come in

and cum smell in the doorway of a house

and shit cum in doorway of a hut

and underground, leeches

in cum

oh no!

it was really dirty songs and was them

put it in her ass

always singing it

whoa

and them too their sons

keyboard

my cock feed her

rooster

the blow up doll was it

and i want her

their fuckign dream date

any height

kid

one word

nemo

shake

why

he was vince mcmahons dad

then mary

what

her mom is his thing in the video

he said

and he is james corbin

how old too wtf

50 when they had them

then 65

mary

inbred

to him

they kept having a gay island and she come over and hop

i sit down and have another one

same outfit

shit on ass

looked like shorts with the hair

tutu

men had boxers

of shit

and hair

and a smoke line right

coming out but being in the woods

island

it made one haha

bed

sprout

wee

water bed store

then shopping complex

then

to mexican store

lincoln park

by fort st

fake the rest

their family did it

kept building too

and if his dad sees dirt near houses

he road paves it all together

saying he can come in and fuck them all

scare crow

disney world

gayy

charles lee ray again

whoa

we inbred too

let him do what he likes

they are all that

and his family

the rest

sank

and might of got together by now

who who

and a group together

are inbreds

mated before marilyn manson

crypto

even at 5

and pedophiles

blow her up

dress on her

i wanna see the gay

john wayne gacy

oh no

their spook

micky and minnie scared

that was it

dope

tko in dope water

and

black again

shit on them

Thu 7:28 PM

he stole the deed, that shit was made up then too, paper work

my dad ddid

owns the place

one beer fight

wtf

who gets jo

weird shit

come on down

they were

older

than greg

it is fucking weird

90000 hockey players nodding after i said something

again

cooters

again

jimmy was rickys dad and looked really fucking gay

it was jos family

what is he looking at

agnes the insane bitch

angela see i told ya

penny sent her at me

no do it to penny she had kids

cut off my hair instead

penny married gay

i didnt

and she went insane

agnes did

at soccer

i dunno what this is

the back of my hair was cut off

4th grade photo

new dyke style

and kept doing it to everyone

then it was all women gay talking like space ghost

brak show

and

mantis

cells family

dbz

ryan/chad/android 17/marilyn manson

yea do it

wtf

he was messing around with posh spice

sit down

we can make school happen

he could of been alix's dad with cheryl

police officer instead of biker

and choo choo the son needs to hook his caboose onto them and go with them after

and make it it again

mexican

kill out and destroy lincoln park housing

and the wild

then

missle blow up house party all the big housing things

kane

that plan went better then too

and here toot toot i dunno boats

youre gonna let kevin live?

said he is his dad

cowboy boots

they killed trunks instead

of dikes

and their family

inbred cell

of the area

cut open angela with the scissors

after grabbing her

she is my mom carrie said she wanted to marry her

carrie is any gay

it was retard talk

call

and they would always go over to it

what you say

if they didnt do it to me they did it to her

cut off her hair

and she hid had a kid

with her mom went gay with her mom was in the truck too

is erin burna

tried to hide around me in a video

nooo

we found another mallory

and jim

chris

your gay free daughter heather

is dead

4:25

and keri ann

diner gal

no you dont serve us

she said we can fuck her boyfriend next

not together

fuck

then they live next door

giving birth now told us to do it i wont stop

retard cant be raised either

bad generation

they all die

and they mate again too their parentss

and in house bar she did it

filled america

wtf eww

norman rockwell painting

holidays

work em too

did not shut up either

anywhere

with all of them

invading

everywhere since

and the crowd behind her only the blacks are her family

they bleached her oh they want her this hot shit

what is it

didnt know either

that many

they sprayed after

to look like her

woops

you are kidding

new kids group huh

no

they will be nicer

no

and cant walk in

no

they didnt have a key either

he fucked up

when i get knocked out i give it away

-trunks

fell down in love to fuck it from the back he's gay and they monkey shriek say it

that her husband

yea a jim

i wore freds hair, he was dead too

live aid woodstock, watched his dad die, his hair fell and curled

then his family saw it in my mouth

and cried

well lets do hers

meant sex

stephanie mcmahon was selena

i got her to sit front row

and shot her

keep asking me for more the guy said

her dad

and the guy with the camera in the daughter photo

is him

yea get hot baby

her entire life

gwen stefani

named her to shoot her in prison

didnt care

do it

to blow up the rest

then in boats

with their dad again

dead

ghost

that was the boat before black

you keep getting prettier then bleach them

then

get to be alone

with him

who

loved you the most

say it or

leave

keeps getting darker each generation

she dated

and goes with

in a car

every time

is this

no

yes yes yes

to more drugs after

and angela got cut

to

fool you too

leon

where

and before the boat inbreed

do weirder shit

then bleach

show it

wont die

gwen stefani

jewels

everything

then leave

without the tounge ring

fill it fill it i dunno feed her

fake ass fat suit

whose he

leave

leave it too

fat suit

is it he

it smells like piss

they are all outside for this to happen again

she got out of the cars

18 of her

and are pissing themselves

making this moment happen again

at gas stations

outside

then car ride

to the next to the next to the next

to get together

and have to have a child together now

and raise it with them

to import

alcohol

and reign supremee some day

said it

i might sell this soem day with a truck

and i dont care

and have 800 kids that defy 1,000

and this when the infants meet and are born too

baboo said no

one

and men come out

yea

no no no look out

pass the boat over

gravy

we're leaving

hot

gotta fuck outside again

fora child and money from her

we made it up

we screaming won something

into the mouth of the other women too

she is screaming

to hide it

another piercing

abortion

in her ass

this time

to shake the cheeks

going gay made hotter shit for them to do apparently

now all learn it

is this all the demon shit was

india

go around again

inbreed

then back

up

try and live

and do it again everyday till you look pissed off

and forget

do drugs to forget

and the new wives hot

and leave with drugs this time

then steal next

jessica

for who

leave him outside

it happened people

living in cars

boats

train rides

gay

they did it

filder basket

money

expected a punch

choke slam

she got lipo

fred died

shaved head

the rock

is her

and she gay put a lot to sleep

angela

we are kids now

what

got em drunk

dad live

wtf whoa

all i do is find sean again or something

and i dunno ryan eat

Thu 8:25 PM

tell me when there is wrestling again

with the older stars

and i will go

i dont remember how

Thu 8:40 PM

shit came off the ground again

they kept pumping their own fetus in them and they were the men

giants

to stand up still

and awake

last one had to live with people

carol

women still went and loved them

and gave up everyone

older age and inbre

d

crypto

were it

guys go on fours after they do drugs

the pebble said it

gave shirts to who

i dunno dons

names of women who would walk in bikini, under wear, and naked, and fuck in the woods then too names were taken down, this is one of their sons

were wild woo i can do what i want

i fuck up your life

i would show you her too

his mom is black

they went white then

would put his dick in his dad

and id unno on the ground

some are white

Thu 9:08 PM

those stomach guys

stare and they say see she he uses its power to live

off dope now

got up

now go attack

sasquatch shit

and the old

their inbred family

so they get up and forget

those guys huge guts

and those gwen stefanis hand them guns

they gave them their hair done

free college to the old

then they go right

our kids had kids then

4ft didnt leave him

constant head

oral

looked 16 tight

right

no 7

chad

said

was 18

then

problem? and him too

paul

lets ssteal the church too and all the money

his dad sting was proud

and smaller

cane

kane

fake football and all

leon was his wifes dad, ryans wife

and

gay here too

your dad too right

then no

we dont date

what about me adn my dad

and they said they stole it all for everything in their families

houses

food

wtf yea us alive

and we dont care how you raise us were people too

and yea he can jizz it out

where ever

glossom

Thu 10:23 PM

lh3.googleusercontent.com

oh hell yea

1:06 PM

shoot the dogs

mick foley

i shot 120,000 beagles in one day

and abbies

are you bringing them over

they ruined the houses

shit in the basement

bodies too didnt throw in truck when it was there

and stole too

fake judge

flooded with shit

black mold

appliances still plugged in

and electricity s

why are you saying yes

you people are disgusting

you dont go out after you have sex

penny did

you look like whores

you do the surgeries too to hide the infants

no she cant live

take what

river

fuckers

there she is fucking bradley

no you dont go past my house to fuck it near me to look like me

you said what to her

go in my house

no no

you dont

either

tom

hey tom

look

your daaughter

fucking him too

pregnant on drugs

all wrong

gave her permission to what

[danepopfrippery]

Been thinking about Archer’s coma as one does. Its really odd Katya didnt even show up, let alone when he woke up and decided to propose to lana (spoilers ahead obvs). Cuz he clearly is in love w Pam.

In canon he likes fucking her but is too archer to commit further. Not that he treats the other women much better but its clearly based on who she is…which is wild cuz he also comes to love her for who she is (declaring shes his best friend during archer vice). (C1: s8 dreamland, c2: s9 paradise, c3: s10 space)

Mom: C1 shes not his mom but bosses him around and makes his life hell as she does. C2 shes his mom and same + trying to save him from his own dumbass. C3 same. So takeaway his mom is his smother boss who loves him but is overbearing

Lana: c1 shes around but of little note. Hes besotted w her and has bad sex w her (cuz he never sleeps) but other than mourning her accidental death they have very little going on. C2 shes a princess and they have even less going on. He thinks shes hot but they never fuck or kiss and her existence drives little of the story. C3 their divorced & spend the most coma time together, mostly him annoying her. They fuck after eating eggs that make u do things ur ashamed of and he gives her shit about the space cats. So basically hes besotted but has little interaction w her unless broken up, and then its just the usual annoying her for shits and giggles stuff

Cheryl Carol: c1: shes his screwball Carole Lombard menace. They actually fuck twice but still bad and mostly cuz she wanted to. They take drugs and get into trouble. C2: shes an heiress he sleeps w on her wedding night but after that they barely interact. C3: shes a tomboy butch girl and they barely interact beyond her ship/fight stuff. So takeaway Cheryl is batshit crazy and they get into trouble together but mostly dont do much

Pam: oh Pam. She is by far the person he interacts w the most through the coma. Right around a little more than Mallory. C1: shes nonbinary (a pronoun is never given), works for his enemy, but is his best bud and helps him save his own ass several times. Pam also has chinese sister wives who view her mostly as a man (and she pictures their futures together) but leave her by the end. C2: oh man this one. It came out after getting away from my asshole ex who fancied himself an archer and me ‘like pam’ but o archer would never fuck pam (and 3 eps later he was wrong af and i loved it. Pam fucks everyone in canon man).

Their best friends tho Pam is much larger than him in stature, shes accompanied him thru his life and helped him thru dumbass ideas (chinchelidas?) he decides that means Pam is at fault and makes her cry, forcing her to state the obvious: nope bud u made those choices. And she laments he cant even see her as a woman after mocking her girly day ideas. Stuck in quicksand, thinking their gonna die, he admits Pam is the only person in the world he doesnt hate and shes prbly hot with those titties. Pam agrees shes hot. Then he says he could see marrying her causing Pam to laugh hysterically cuz she didnt want that thanks. Later she gives him shit about it, he gets hard when the cannibals have them naked, and he actually dies in this version to save Pam who was trying to save him

Then fucking c3: Pam is a rock monster like a huge Alf. Mostly just being annoying (like alf) and of little note to the story. Archer wakes up, Pam is the only one who wants to hang out w him, so of course he goes and tries to propose to Lana (who is married). Pam’s right there picking up the pieces when he finds that out.

But if u take all those together u could say deep down he loves her, and he really likes being w her, but based on 1 and 3 he just cant see her as not only a human but a woman. So he talks himself out of it

[knownlesbianalexandracabot]

doing a riverdale rewatch bc im bored so i wanted to write out some of my thoughts on the pilot with a retroactive perspective. i genuinely enjoyed watching it like genuinely it’s just a good teen drama pilot. even if i wasnt obsessed with archie, i think i’d still have watched it. the nostalgia of remembering when riverdale first came on and what it was like to see people talking about and caring about archie really got to me too. and like, not to say i didnt somewhat feel this way when it first aired, but i really do appreciate the most of the adaptational changes to canon. like i understand them and why they're necessary and many of them work so well with the story that was being told but i also just like them a lot like i think they’re fun. i’ve def said this before but i LOVE what they did with the blossoms. it absolutely works with the genre and plot and it’s compelling and despite basically everything about her background being changed cheryl, at her core, still remains cheryl like she’s still Cheryl Blossom and as a cheryl fan im just really into it. honestly my big issues with the pilot remain the same as when i first watched it which are 1) the grundy plot obviously 2) ginger (and tina) being there only as cheryl’s minions and not being properly utilized or appreciated and 3) reggie being downplayed as an Important Character but that’s really more of an acp in general issue. i do respect roberto for his consistent understanding that archie and reggie are FRIENDS and that reggie isn’t just a bully who’s mean for no reason. im still really fond of the kevin/betty, betty/archie and kevin/archie/betty friendships like they feel really authentic and archie calling betty his best friend is literally such a moment omg. also, i literally just realized as i was writing this but there’s NO BUGHEAD and god it was such a relief i didnt even think about them as a couple the whole time what a concept honestly what a gift. i just can’t with bughead i cant i hate it so much and it’s so great to not have to deal with it in episode one. and i know that im a regchie stan 4 life and i love the regchie in the pilot i really do but roberto just does jarchie so well like i cant help but get feels from them and their weird friendship breakup. i really only like jughead when he’s being gay if he’s not being gay i really cant with him, partly bc of who he is a character and partly bc of his oversaturation on riverdale and in the comics. i really dont mind emo grungy riverdale jughead though i think it’s a fine interpretation of the character especially in the context of riverdale he works and it’s a fine portrayal with everything else that’s going on. i still kinda hate cole as jughead and if not for kacey kale id say it’s my least fave casting of the current archieverse. overall, this rewatch just really made me appreciate riverdale for so obviously being made with a strong love for archie and a bold new direction for the stories being told about him. 

[bughead]

may i ask why you suddenly think they're gonna get married? and pls don't delete it, you're just saying what everyone's thinking/hoping!

it’s not “suddenly.” it’s something that’s been scratching at the back of my brain since 2.22, and it’s not fading away. i haven’t really posted anything about it because i don’t like theories that are based on shaky evidence and feelings. i like facts and logic, so i’m a bit embarrassed to share this theory, but it’s seriously been eating at me since the end of last season 

i said it when the hotel scene aired and i still stand by it: roberto wrote that scene ambiguously on purpose to gage people’s reactions. he said that that scene would be addressed in 3.01 and it sort of was but not completely. their campfire scene in the s3 premiere suggested he was asking her to be his partner (in the serpents and in life), but then i’m confused as to why 2.22 acted like it was a life altering question. they were already partners in life and it wasn’t the serpent invite that had betty shocked and elated, and then what about the “a foolish question asked between two people in love” line? it just doesn’t totally add up to me, which leaves me thinking either they a) decided to drop it or b) decided to delay it 

it wouldn’t be the first time they scrapped something only to pick it up again later. a couple examples: 

varchie’s “endgame” line. it was originally in 3.01, but they cut it out because they wanted to use it in 3.06 instead

choni moving in together. they filmed a scene of cheryl inviting toni to live with her in s2 only to scrap it and move it to s3 

moving on,

it seems to me like roberto wants to write married bughead. i mean, he wrote jug choosing betty over his family, he wrote betty’s “he’s as much my family as you are” line, he wrote veronica calling them soulmates, he wrote the s1 alternate ending which had jug moving in with the coopers, he wrote the dream where betty is holding his hat and crying like a widow over his grave, wrote the hotel/quasi-proposal scene, he wrote jughead telling betty they’re life partners, and now it looks like his next episode has the joneses moving into the cooper house 

and about the title of that episode:

“american dreams”

this is what pops up when you google it

i know the titles and cover art aren’t always to be taken seriously, but when i read that it added fuel to the embers already burning in my belly 

then there’s hal. he’s back in betty’s life. he’s listening to her problems with alice. he’s assuring her that her future is going to be bright. he signed the affidavit to get her her money back (even though didn’t work because alice spent the money). act or not, i think it’s in the realm of possibility he would help her separate herself from alice/the farm should betty finally reach that breaking point. as i said in a couple other asks, i think it’s possible they turn the tables on alice and forge her signature to get betty emancipated or something along those lines 

now onto the most recent revelations:

the coopers are moving out of their house and the joneses are (most likely) moving in

why? 

what’s the point of having the coopers move to the farm and the joneses take over their house? my mind goes to the trailer. it’ll be empty. as i said in another ask, it’s a set they’ve had since s1, so i have a hard time picturing them getting rid of it (though, of course, it’s not impossible) 

what are they gonna do with it? could it become another serpent’s house or a serpent hangout? of course... but it could also be a place for betty and jughead to live away from their families 

anyway, i’m hesitant to share this because, like i said, it’s a theory based totally on weak evidence, huge stretches, and a lot of “ifs” and “maybes.” i’m in no way saying i absolutely think it’s going to happen, it’s just an idea that’s been buzzing around in my head for awhile 

[theblazian]

That finale was nuts and i have some things to say about that and the season as a whole

I like that they used a belly eyelash song i thought it was overdue for a show like this

I know lilli reinharts back is ACHING from carrying this show on her own . the best acting in the show 👏🏽👏🏽

Varchie getting back together was inevitable no shocker there

Im glad jughead got to beat some ass he always getting his ass beat good job jug.lmfao his response to chic after he explained why he was doing what he was doin had me WEAK talm bout some "okay "

Poor Betty. I know hal is like a serial killer but i dont think anyone wanna see they dad die infront of them get that poor girl some therapy

Kevin get your head out of your ass sis, " i dIdNt gEt tO aCsEnD" boy you STILL dont see shit wrong with that? Yo whole ass kidney got stolen and you still being hardheaded is that what were doing? I know he was brainwashed but damn the ignorance was entirely too much bliss

One thing ill never understand is the fucking obsession with that damn game like yal are aware its just a GAME right? You dont have to fucking play it ethel was really making me mad w that bullshit talm bout some " I love him" BITCH shut UP. then got kids murdering eachother? OVER A GAME???? Make it make sense god please my head hurts .and was that crackheaded mf curts or whatever of age why was he in the pussy house ??!!

Ion even wanna get into how fucked up it is that betty and jug share a sibling. Like i guess we already knew that but him being alive is nuts and it brings it to attention like damn that shit is really deadass .ion trust this

I hope cheryl stops being under then over utilized like, can yal let her have character development that sticks! shes so stuck. yoyoing between problematic and helpful at the drop of a dime like can she pull her head out of her ass and keep it out this time? Please i love my ginger drama queen .also the whole keeping jasons body thing? Lordy send my baby to therapy right along w Betty she stressing me out now

For that matter Toni needs development too its like she knows better but would rather be goofy w her wild card ass gf than listen to reason and its getting stale i love choni but let toni be her own character again

The farm. Bitch the farm . so you mean to tell me the fbi knew about it for months and just allowed minors/ people im general to get their organs stolen and murdered? For months? And like how long has Edgar and his lil daughter wife been scamming people for their organs? Like its just crazy how simple it is to maniuplate people like that .Lordy the mess.fix it jesus. I just wanna know what they gon do w Polly if shes alive cause shes been fucking annoying since s1 so if she is dead i really dont care its probably for the best all she do is stress Betty and alice out .

Speaking of bitches that need to be euthanized im sick and TIRED of hiram he is so fucking annoying its like can your crazy ass just calm down and mind your business why is that so hard for him?you gon come after Ronnie now ? Okay bitch whatever he not gon be satisfied till he dead I really hope he gets sent to like a prison that he has no power in or deleted next season bc im sick of the games. its not even interesting anymore its just SO annoying. Lastly,

That fucking time skip? Bitch why now i got anxiety.i know they probably won't kill jug off but maybe thats what they want us to think? They play entirely too much we wont know till season 4 drops i guess but like damn i just got a hold of my edges can the writers take their foot off my neck for 5 seconds.

Ight dassit im done time to wait for season 4

[staliasjeronica]

Riverdale 3.09 Thoughts *Spoilers*

- Choni ❤️❤️❤️ But “stealing from.the rich to give to, well, us” what? Cheryl… YOU’RE RICH. Give some of the money to the Serpents They need it a bit more than you do baby. BUT BITCH THEIR FIRST I LOVE YOU I’M—

- Five weeks of the quarantine… that would have made an INCREDIBLE story line? Seriously? It would have been amazing to see Sweet Pea being temporary king while Jarghead and FP were gone. But no… let’s just skip the good part? What the fuck kinda writing skips.a great plot?

- “All physical contact must be kept to a minimum?” um… literally WHY? There’s literally NO reason for that to be a rule? Also fuck off Moose no ones likes a tattle tale and we all know that you’re slumming it up with Kevin after school so leave my babies alone. Oh. it’s for the seizures? Really? Dude SEIZURES ARE NOT FUCKING CONTAGIOUS YOU STUPID FUCKERS OH MY GOD. Stop trying to keep then gays from being cute!!!!!!!

- The RROTC made the rules? Dude they don’t run the school lmao that’s NOT HOW THINGS WORK

- JOSIE SINGING!!! MY BABY VERONICA!!! UGH FUCK ME UPPPP

- VEGGIE. VERONICA IS LOOKING AT JOSIE’S INCREDIBLE SINGING WHILE REGGIE IS AWING AT VERONICA I’M—

-  Ew and then my mood is ruined by bughead waking up 😷😷😷

- Betty put all of those girl’s… in HER house? THE COOPERS CAN BARELY TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES LET ALONE THOSE GIRLS. Also don’t they fucking have families? And yes, Betty, that scream definitely would wake up your mom because they have those motherly instincts and they’d think their child was hurt, so ofc she’s going to wake up.

- They want to play… G&G… are you kidding me? I kinda get that it makes them feel better because that’s how they had it in SOQM but still WHY? JUST PLAY CLASSICAL MUSIC OR SOMETHING AND TAKE A BATH.

- Of course Jughead goes from his horrible leadership to “I left you too long” stfu right now your priority is the Serpents and who’s dealing the drugs (although I know who and uhhhh leave them alone he has to stay alive somehow)

 - They don’t even have an elected Sheriff yet? WHY? SHERIFF KELLER DIDN’T DIE DID HE? THEN FUCKING REINSTATE HIM??? IT’S NOT THAT FUCKING HARD YOU STUPID FUCKS

 - “Maybe that means that Archie could come back home” wE KNOW YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH HIM BETTY. Barchie!!!! ❤️❤️❤️

- Reggie ❤️❤️❤️ WOAH WHAT NO LEAVE HIM ALONE? HE ALREADY GETS ABUSED BY HIS FATHER! But aw Ronnie gets to take care of him I’m—

- Hiram really is trying to hustle his daughter wow so uhhh he does know that his daughter is the incredible Veronica Lodge, right? She’ll find a way lol we all know the queen can do everything

- “Has anyone ever told you you’re a badass?” Wow Reggie is so fucking into her I’m just 😭😭

- If Vegas gets hurt RAS will LITERALLY DIE.  I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS AND I’M NOT READY FOR THIS. Also there’s no way Vegas wouldn’t have seen or heard the bear behind him but sure whatever. ARCHIE JUST BC SHE’S ZONING OUT DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN’T HEAR HER. JUST DO WHAT SHE SAYS JESUS. Also how convenient that it suddenly doesn’t work.

- “They imprinted on me” Betty NEVER say that again that was gross as fuck. “But as their queen, they are your responsibility, not mine” bitch Betty can’t be a queen no matter how hard she tries, and she (nor Jughead) know how to take care of anyone but themselves so… Alice unless you want Betty to end up killing them, this is where you, as the mom, undermine her and take them to the farm. Of course I don’t trust the farm but it’s much safer than the Cooper house hold because they have the resources to spare, the Cooper’s don’t.

- Hey here’s an idea… since you can’t get to Hiram using the nuns because they took a vow of silence (cowards) then maybe… just maybe… OUT IT AS A CONVERSION THERAPY HELL SITE AND USE THAT INSTEAD? But we know Betty doesn’t want to save the gays so 😷😷

- I love Josie’s singing but why is she singing in an empty lounge? REST HER VOCALS.

- I used to love Hiram’s evil-ness but now he just shows up all the time and it’s getting annoying. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD END THIS FUCKING PLOT SO VERONICA CAN FOR ONCE GET HER OWN STORY THAT BETTY DOESN’T TAKE, THAT DOESN’T REVOLVE AROUND HER FATHER OR A GUY. SERIOUSLY. They have so much potential with literally any other character but still decide to force Bughead and their separate characters down our throats. Like at this point honestly just kill them both off Jesus Christ

- Jughead… this is a gang… they’ve always sold drugs? At least, weed, but still? You have to take into consideration that you were gone, and they were placed under quarantine, and they needed money. You can’t blame any of them for dealing with Hiram you whiny piss baby. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

- God it bothers me that Jarghead is such a lowsy king. When do we get Sweet Pea overthrowing him? pLEASE WE NEED IT SO TONI CAN LEAD BESIDE HIM. Maybe Swangs (even though I know what happens) and Choni can co-lead the Serpents

- Cheryl speaking facts! AND MY BOY FANGS. Jughead had NOTHING to say to Fangs and FP had to step up and cover for Jughead, because he was right. What else are they supposed to do? Gangs are supposed to do bad shit? Jughead has done ultimate horrible shit and suddenly he’s going to act like a gang is supposed to be clean? Jughead do your research that is not what gangs do. Also, if FP is going to be at every fucking Serpent meeting maybe he should, you know, take his spot back. He’s a MUCH better leader than Jughead, even though I’d prefer it be one of the founding members like TONI FUCKING TOPAZ or something.

- I love how no one really does the “in unity there is strength” thing. Like, they know they’re being lead to slaughter basically and FP is just letting it happen. Also, they’re running the gang into the ground. There is no more unity because JUGHEAD’S STUPID POWER-HUNGRY ASS ISN’T DOING SHIT TO HELP THE GANG. Also also Betty looks so out of place and awkward there. Can’t wait for Archie to come back and for her to realize that he almost died and then realize she can’t live without him and that she loves him and finally bughead can split for good and barchie can rise

- If Veronica paid why the FLYING FUCK did they go after Josie? FucK OFF HIRAM

- Polly you had to say his name. LEAVE MY BOY ALONE.

- FANGS CRYING STOP STOP STOP MY BABY BOY NO NO NO

- “We could’ve helped you” JUGHEAD YOU LITERALLY JUST BANNED CRIME. THE SERPENTS HAVE NO MONEY WHAT ELSE WHAT HE WAS SUPPOSED TO DO? Also they can’t get mad at him bc this was before Jughead got back and did the stupid crime law like a hypocrite

- DUDE FANGS DID THIS BEFORE THE FUCKING RULE YOU STUPID FUCKERS? LIKE??? DO YOU HAVE NO BRAIN CELLS?

- Oh Jughead has one brain cell left? I know he ends up being cancelled but he’s not… yet.

- CHONI BREAKING IN AND STEALING SHIT YES BITCH

- Why is Archie hallucinating playing G&G? Like doesn’t this mean he’s playing by himself? The fuck?

- Dead ass Cassidy telling Archie it sounds like his fault that all that happened, you can tell that this is Archie’s mind because he always blames himself for things that have nothing to do with him. Because we know that it’s definitely NOT his fault. None of it is.

- Cheryl just HAD to kiss the picture

- JERONICA. JERONICA. JERONICA. JERONICA. JERONICA. JERONICA. JERONICA. MY FANFIC IS COMING TO LIFE. JUGHEAD AND THE SERPENTS PROTECTING VERONICA YASSSSSSSSS

- I’m mad that they didn’t have Joaquin not actually die. Like, Sweet Pea and Fangs were close to him? They could have faked his death like what the fuck

- YES WE LOVE AND STAN LAWYER MCCOY

- How did Jughead know that Toni was involved? Cheryl was the only one who left a stupid calling card.

- THE TEARS WELLING IN TONI’S EYES STOP STOP STOP

- But he can’t fucking kick her out she’s literally a legacy. This crusty white boy needs to sit the fuck down

- Okay one, Cheryl why would you bring Fangs back into it? THE FUCK. Also, Jughead you can’t be disappointed in Fangs for telling SP even though you said not to tell anyone—best friend’s never count. 

- SWEET PEA STANDING UP. FANGS CRYING. “Some leader you are” YES FANGS WHAT A KING. SWEET PEA BBY OH MY GOD

- “And the rest of us don’t get to go back to Thistlehouse” says the disgusting whiny piss baby who gets to sleep in his girlfriend’s house, in her comfortable bed while his gang lays in cots or some shit in tents. Get off your mighty high horse, Jughead. God, now they’re switching roles… Betty is kinda becoming SLIGHTLY tolerable and now Jughead is being so fucking annoying. Go back to how it was please.

- JERONICA. AND VEGGIE. EXCELLENCE.

- So Archie standing over Hiram and shit was all a fucking dream? Really? COME ON. Lol Hiram has a point though because everyone goes in and tells him their fucking plans. OMG THE CALLBACK TO THE FIRST EPISODE WAS GREAT. CALL BACK TO BARCHIE BEING ENDGAME YESSSS.

- So if Veronica ended up smashing the egg… then fucking give Fangs, Toni, and Cheryl their spots in the Serpents back since it was all for nothing anyways.

- I’m glad Cheryl and Nana Rose are housing some fo the girls but WHAT ABOUT THE SERPENTS YOU GUYS HAVE A BIG FUCKING HOUSE. Why didn’t she house some of them there? I mean it’s ooc for Toni not to be thinking of her fellow Serpents why wouldn’t she be like “hey babe you have a lot of room here what if we help house some of the Serpents” but uhhh apparently not.

- Hey FP shut the fuck up with this “she’s still a Lodge” shit because you all know she doesn’t associate herself with her parents anymore. Remember “you don’t have a daughter” or…?

- Jughead brought up when FP worked for Hiram. Hell yeah! But him saying he wants Jughead to be a better king than him? BITCH YOUR SON DOESN’T KNOW HOW TO RUN A GANG. HE SUCKS. HE’S STUPID AND RUINING THE GANG HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT? God never give your throne to blood family.

- Yeah, FP, you’re not made for the sidelines you’re made to RULE you stupid fuck. Maybe you should get back with Alice she makes you more stable and less stupid

- REGGIE’S LIKE “NOT THIS TIME BITCH”

- SWEET PEA WITH A BAT FUCK YEAH

- So… you threaten the gargoyle bitch but you don’t unmask him to see who he is? Are you fucking stupid?

- Wtf… he has to beat himself with a bat on his own bed? I am confusion… WHAT THE FLYING FUCK? THE BLACK HOOD AND HIRAM AND THE GARGOYLE KING HAVE DONE SHIT NOT YOU YOU BIG BAFOON. NO DON’T DESTROY YOU’RE GOOD HEARTED INNOCENCE. YOU’RE THE ONLY BRAVE ONE OF THE CORE FOUR. ARCHIE NO.

- If they make Archie unlikable the only good core four person will be Veronica.

- VERONICA SINGING ❤️❤️❤️ Oh fuck I know this song but I can’t remember where I’ve heard it!!!

- VEGGIE. SHE’S SO FUCKING HAPPY TO SEE HIM I’M— HE’S SO ENAMORED WITH HER. VEGGIE KISS. Why can they make their chemistry shown on screen but Bughead can’t? Like both couples are even dating irl, too…

- JUGHEAD YOU PIECE OF SHIT. He only uses Sweet Pea or Fangs when he has something he doesn’t want to do usually because it’s too dangerous for him (whiny piss baby). DON’T MAKE MY BABY BOY GO UNDERCOVER HE’LL FUCKING GET HURT.

- I’ve literally never hated Jughead more nothing he can do can make up for what he’s done in this episode bye

- What the actual fuck. This is so fucking stupid.

- Archie isn’t dead. If Archie dies before bitch ass Betty or Jiggaloo Jones I will literally come after RAS. 

[incorrectchoniberonicaswangs]

hey baby won't you look my way (i can be your new addiction)

Chapter 7: gays you ever just ahsnfdjsl?? part 1

Chapter Summary: Holiday parties are planned, Cheryl and Toni are Kevin's sapphic moms, an intervention is held, Alice and Hermione are adorable and everyone loves them, Kangs has some news, and Sweet Pea runs away from his problems.

Notes: theMANtle: reggie

ao3

Friday, 3:17 PM

gays united

hbicheryl: its winter break!! finally a respite from the chaos!!

jugheadalones: im so excited!

hbicheryl: hold up, hobo is excited about something??

hisshissmotherfucker: ^^ jones are you sick

jugheadalones: okay, first of all fuck you

jugheadalones: second of all im excited to return to the near-comatose state i maintain every time we have a long period of time off from school

nopeaz: that makes more sense

veroffica: as enjoyable as that likely is to you, holden caulfield, it won't be happening this break. i'm hosting a christmas eve party at the pembrooke starting at 8:00 pm and you are all invited.

veroffica: and you'd better all show up, or else i'll sic my new bodyguard on you.

goingtoheller: i assume you mean betty.

wannabett: guilty :/

spillthefogarTEA: ill be there. and NOT because of your threats

spillthefogarTEA: even though betty is kind of intimidating

goingtoheller: i'll come as well.

nopeaz: cher and ill come too

hisshissmotherfucker: i love parties im there

jugheadalones: i dont suppose i really have a choice do i?

wannabett: not really. sorry jug

jugheadalones: fine.

hbicheryl: speaking of holiday parties

hbicheryl: new years eve party, thistlehouse, time tbd, if you arent there youre dead to me

veroffica: b and i will be there.

spillthefogarTEA: me too

goingtoheller: i'll be there.

hisshissmotherfucker: i hear cheryls parties are infamously dramatic

hisshissmotherfucker: so im definitely coming

hisshissmotherfucker: as long as i dont end up doing seven minutes in heaven with archie like veronica

veroffica: will nobody ever let me forget that??

hisshissmotherfucker: nope

jugheadalones: why do all these party invites come with threats of retribution if you dont attend?

hbicheryl: bc if there wasnt then youd never come

jugheadalones: ill come. begrudgingly.

nopeaz: and ofc ill be there obviously

jugheadalones: wait am i missing something? why is that obvious?

hbicheryl: oh right we didnt tell you lol

hbicheryl: tt moved in with me

goingtoheller: WHAT??

goingtoheller: my sapphic moms moved in together aND I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA??

hisshissmotherfucker: why is keller suddenly chonis kid when did this happen??

hbicheryl: please kevin is basically toni and i's love child

hbicheryl: he has my sass (well not as good as mine but hes trying), my gayness, and my strange desire for dumbass serpents

nopeaz: and my propensity for saying 'this is riveting i cant breathe'

goingtoheller: aw, thanks, moms! mostly! :)

nopeaz: no problem son

hbicheryl: yes we are very proud of you kev (mostly)

jugheadalones: huh i never actually thought about it but that... works?

wannabett: okay cheryl and toni are like the least qualified people here to be anyones lesbian moms?? theyre literally gang members??

hbicheryl: stfu nightmare smurfette do not EVER criticize my parenting skills

hbicheryl: toni and i have slaved for weeks, even MONTHS to make sure that kevin turns into a proper young gay man

hbicheryl: and you have the AUDACITY to suggest that just because my gf and i are deeply flawed people we would corrupt poor kevin??

wannabett: uh... no?

hbicheryl: thats what i thought

nopeaz: wow angry cheryl is scary but hot

spillthefogarTEA: topaz, you are so whipped

spillthefogarTEA: and REALLY fucking gay

nopeaz: yeah ik

jugheadalones: moving on

jugheadalones: speaking of people taking a big step and deciding to live with each other... betty and veronica, we need to talk.

veroffica: um... what?

veroffica: is this some sort of intervention?

hisshissmotherfucker: yes

spillthefogarTEA: moving in together might be considered friendly if, say, betty didnt already have a house that she lives in

nopeaz: but this decision is beyond simple friendship

hbicheryl: and its certainly anything but heterosexual

wannabett: why are you guys finishing each others sentences?? did you plan this??

hisshissmotherfucker: no shit sherlock

veroffica: how do you guys even have this information??

goingtoheller: we have our ways.

wannabett: archie somehow saw our texts through my window

wannabett: jughead told me last night, sorry i didnt tell you v, i didnt know that this was going to happen

nopeaz: dammit jones why do you have to ruin all our fun!!

jugheadalones: i didnt realize that this was a rule?

jugheadalones: so anyway

jugheadalones: b&v, now that you have been confronted with cold hard proof of your undying love for each other, what do you have to say for yourselves?

wannabett: guys im straight!!

goingtoheller: ooh, betty's pulling the straight card.

hbicheryl: i called it! tt, sp, fangs, and jughead, you all owe me $10

hbicheryl: cousin betty is nothing if not predictable in the face of her sexuality being questioned

veroffica: hey, you made bets on this?? not cool!

wannabett: ^^^^

wannabett: and i am NOT predictable!!

hbicheryl: i predicted she was going to say that

hbicheryl: thats another $10 guys

hisshissmotherfucker: for once i trusted in someones willingness to admit when they were wrong and now because of that cheryl is robbing us blind! smh never again

spillthefogarTEA: veronica? you never answered the question

veroffica: uh...

veroffica: i mean, um...

veroffica: we've never even kissed! i'm pretty sure we aren't dating!

nopeaz: to be fair though i wouldnt be surprised if you two were dating without knowing it

veroffica: guys, now really isn't a good time.

jugheadalones: mmmhmm

wannabett: no seriously v and i are getting ready for the christmas eve party

wannabett: its in three days remember

hbicheryl: ugh fine i suppose thats a reasonable explanation

veroffica: and since i know that you won't let this go, at the party you can ask us whatever you want about this.

goingtoheller: wait... for real?

wannabett: uh yeah really v??

veroffica: within reason, of course.

spillthefogarTEA: wow this is more than i expected to come from this

veroffica: one condition, though. you can't pester b and i about it before the party.

veroffica: deal?

hisshissmotherfucker: deal

wannabett: now that thats settled v and i are going to get to work

veroffica: we'll probably be off the grid until maybe a few hours before the party.

[wannabett is offline]

[veroffica is offline]

hbicheryl: toni and i are already headed over to pops, anyone want to join us?

jugheadalones: wont we just be three-wheeling?

hbicheryl: not if we are in a large group

hisshissmotherfucker: ill come if you come jones

jugheadalones: sure.

hisshissmotherfucker: ill be there in five

[hisshissmotherfucker is offline]

jugheadalones: kevin, fangs?

spillthefogarTEA: im good

goingtoheller: ^^

nopeaz: okay otw

[nopeaz is offline]

[hbicheryl is offline]

jugheadalones: leaving now

[jugheadalones is offline]

6:35 PM

nopeaz: GUYS YOULL NEVER BELIEVE WHO JUST WALKED IN

spillthefogarTEA: who is it??

spillthefogarTEA: tell me you know im not good with suspense!!

jugheadalones: its alice cooper and hermione lodge!

hisshissmotherfucker: it seems as though archies intel was correct again

hisshissmotherfucker: damn that omniscient fucking northsider

hbicheryl: now i really wish that betty and veronica werent offline so they could hear about this

goingtoheller: why? do you hate them?

hbicheryl: hate is a strong word

hbicheryl: id say that i just occasionally want them to suffer

goingtoheller: that isn't much better...

hbicheryl: i guess ill just have to wait until the party to tell them

nopeaz: okay so they just got a booth and its basically diagonal from ours

jugheadalones: but theyre so enamoured with each other i dont think they even noticed that were here

hbicheryl: wow i dont think ive ever seen aunt alice this happy before

spillthefogarTEA: ugh this sounds so adorable i wish i was there

hisshissmotherfucker: dont worry well narrate their every movement so well itll be like you are

nopeaz: oh shit they keep reaching for each other like every five seconds

spillthefogarTEA: im WEAK

jugheadalones: its so hard to believe that they ever hated each other with the way theyre acting now

jugheadalones: homophobia can really fuck shit up huh

goingtoheller: this is the couple i never knew i needed, but now that i have seen that it's possible, i'm in love.

hisshissmotherfucker: im in shock i cant believe that the same alice cooper that grounded her daughter from any and all contact with the outside world is now just essentially the personification of heart eyes

hbicheryl: this town is so small were all basically inbred

hbicheryl: next thing you know fp and fred are going to be fucking too

jugheadalones: okay i did NOT need that image

nopeaz: AHHHH THEY WENT IN FOR A KISS MAYDAY MAYDAY THIS IS NOT A DRILL

spillthefogarTEA: AHHHHH

goingtoheller: AHHHHHHH

nopeaz: AHHHHHHH

jugheadalones: even i, being asexual and aromantic, have to admit that im loving living vicariously through these two

hisshissmotherfucker: k so they stopped

hisshissmotherfucker: wait no theyre kissing again!

hisshissmotherfucker: and again!

hisshissmotherfucker: and again!

hisshissmotherfucker: okay now theyre just making out

nopeaz: get it girl(s)

hbicheryl: its getting pretty heated

hbicheryl: it feels like the windows are going to start fogging up

jugheadalones: oh damn they stopped

jugheadalones: ms cooper is waving pop over now

goingtoheller: is it creepy that we're so invested in their date?

spillthefogarTEA: probably not

hisshissmotherfucker: nah

jugheadalones: lets go with no

nopeaz: nope

hbicheryl: its only creepy if we get turned on

goingtoheller: moving on... what's happening now??

nopeaz: they got the check and now theyre paying

nopeaz: they can barely keep their hands off of each other

nopeaz: now theyre leaving

nopeaz: should i follow them to keep narrating?

goingtoheller: won't they notice??

jugheadalones: no theyve only got eyes for each other

jugheadalones: follow them SUBTLY while we hold down the table

nopeaz: roger that

hbicheryl: youre such a nerd

nopeaz: you love it

hbicheryl: duh

hbicheryl: now follow them!!

nopeaz: already doing it

nopeaz: so they made it to their car

nopeaz: okay wow wasnt expecting that but im not complaining

spillthefogarTEA: whats happening???

nopeaz: alice just shoved hermione up against the car door and now theyre hardcore making out

nopeaz: damn i wonder if theyre even going to get home or if theyre just going to do it in the parking lot

hisshissmotherfucker: i cant believe alice cooper and mayor lodge BOTH have better sex lives than i do wtf

goingtoheller: who knew that hermione lodge was such a bottom??

hbicheryl: well you know what they say about people in positions of power

hbicheryl: top in the streets bottom in the sheets

jugheadalones: wait cheryl that could apply to you as well

spillthefogarTEA: ooh is the class president getting the strap from the vice president

nopeaz: fuck off fangs

nopeaz: okay so they finally managed to regain some semblance of control

nopeaz: aaaaand theyre driving away

nopeaz: shows over folks

hbicheryl: lets clear out men

nopeaz: meet me by the bike cher

hbicheryl: be there in a sec babe xx

jugheadalones: wait are you telling me that cheryl blossom rode a motorcycle??

hisshissmotherfucker: yeah red i thought you said they were death traps

hbicheryl: well yeah but that was before i got on it

hbicheryl: its like a giant vibrator

hbicheryl: and riding it with toni is basically just the most acceptable type of public sex

goingtoheller: gross.

hisshissmotherfucker: never thought id agree with keller but yeah tmi

nopeaz: whatever

nopeaz: bye fuckers see you all at veronicas party

[nopeaz is offline]

[hbicheryl is offline]

jugheadalones: im headed out too

[jugheadalones is offline]

hisshissmotherfucker: me too

[hisshissmotherfucker is offline]

Monday, 6:43 PM

wannabett: b&v are back bitches!!

veroffica: and, looking through the chat from the past few days... i'm glad i was gone.

wannabett: although now i know what 'hot date' my mom was talking about :/

wannabett: even though i never wanted to know

wannabett: some things are best kept secret especially when your mom goes out on a date with your best friends mom!!

hbicheryl: youre welcome :)

veroffica: cheryl, at this very moment, i simultaneously respect, despise, and fear you.

hbicheryl: aw thanks thats what im always going for!

veroffica: anyway, the party will be starting in an hour or so, but some of my relatives will be over in the meantime. if you've got anything to say that doesn't involve the date my mom and betty's mom have, feel free. if you don't, go to hell.

hisshissmotherfucker: hey im in the neighborhood and i dont have anything else to do would you mind if i came over now

veroffica: sure thing!

hisshissmotherfucker: are you sure your relatives will be fine with me being there?

veroffica: yeah. i mean, betty's here too anyway!

hisshissmotherfucker: k

6:48 PM

goingtoheller + veroffica

goingtoheller: hey, would you happen to have some time you could set away during the party? fangs and i have an announcement we'd like to make.

veroffica: sure thing, kev. how does around 10 sound?

goingtoheller: perfect. thanks, v!

veroffica: no problem.

7:22 PM

gays united

hisshissmotherfucker: rn betty looks like she cant decide whether to be a guard dog or an excited puppy lmao

jugheadalones: context?

hisshissmotherfucker: veronicas greeting her relatives and bettys following her so closely shes practically stepping on her heels

goingtoheller: well, v is definitely holding betty's leash.

nopeaz: yeah veronicas got her by the collar

spillthefogarTEA: if betty doesnt watch her step then shes really going to be in the doghouse

wannabett: stop with the dog puns!! i am not a dog!!

hbicheryl: okay but you have to admit those were pretty good

wannabett: i will admit no such thing! now if youll excuse me im going to go back to talking to ronnies relatives with her

[wannabett is offline]

hisshissmotherfucker: i guess ill keep you all informed on their gay shenanigans

nopeaz: who even says shenanigans anymore??

hisshissmotherfucker: uh i do fight me

nopeaz: square up bitch

hbicheryl: if i had a dollar for every time tt and sp said that they were going to fight i would have enough money to rebuild thornhill

goingtoheller: cheryl, you're the one who burned it down in the first place.

hbicheryl: yes and??

goingtoheller: ...nevermind.

hisshissmotherfucker: im snoRTING

jugheadalones: what happened?

hisshissmotherfucker: so veronica was talking to one of her relatives right

hisshissmotherfucker: and the relative asks her if she has a boyfriend

hisshissmotherfucker: veronica laughs a little and says no so her relative looks at betty whos still trailing behind her like a shadow

hisshissmotherfucker: and knowingly says "oh i see, a girlfriend"

spillthefogarTEA: ajklfshagak i cant even

hisshissmotherfucker: both of them are sputtering uncontrollably unable to formulate a response im dying

hbicheryl: ahahah it was only a matter of time before something like this happened but im really glad it did

nopeaz: i mean relatives are supposed to know you better than anyone else right?

jugheadalones: oh b&v you oblivious wlw

goingtoheller: we're never letting them let this down, are we?

spillthefogarTEA: not a chance

hisshissmotherfucker: IT GOT BETTER

hisshissmotherfucker: veronica finally managed to speak and she (unconvincingly) insisted that she and betty were just friends etc etc and her relative just raised her eyebrows and went "mmhm"

nopeaz: drag themmmmm

hbicheryl: omg we stan

hisshissmotherfucker: im trying to stifle my laughter bc betty and veronica look like they want to murder me

hisshissmotherfucker: but you know what screw it its worth it

hisshissmotherfucker: oh shit bettys coming over here and she looks pissed

hisshissmotherfucker: hello punks, this is betty. i hope youve had your fun listening to sweet pea narrate everything but now im taking his phone and wont be giving it back until the party starts

[hisshissmotherfucker is offline]

jugheadalones: awww

goingtoheller: at least the party starts soon anyway. then, i'm sure we'll get even more beronica fodder.

jugheadalones: true

hbicheryl: see you then losers

spillthefogarTEA: back at ya cheryl

7:48 PM

nopeaz: cher and i are on our way

goingtoheller: fangs and i are leaving now.

jugheadalones: and im at your door at this very moment

jugheadalones: let me in

jugheadalones: okay great im in

hisshissmotherfucker: and i just got my phone back

hisshissmotherfucker: i will not stand for this tyranny! this is a republic not a monarchy!

wannabett: keep it up and im taking your phone back

hisshissmotherfucker: the oppression continues...

wannabett: sweet pea...

hisshissmotherfucker: fine

[hisshissmotherfucker is offline]

veroffica: now, let's get this party started!

10:03 PM

spillthefogarTEA: hey guys i know this is fun and exciting and all but would you mind congregating out in the living room? ive got some news

hisshissmotherfucker: anything for my best bro

jugheadalones: sure thing

10:07 PM

hisshissmotherfucker + theMANtle

hisshissmotherfucker: hey mantle are you free rn

theMANtle: yeah, you want me to come over to your trailer?

hisshissmotherfucker: yep im on my way there too

hisshissmotherfucker: see you in ten?

theMANtle: none of your friends will be there, right?

hisshissmotherfucker: nah theyre all still at veronicas party they wont even notice that im gone

theMANtle: not that im complaining, but why arent you?

hisshissmotherfucker: i needed a break

theMANtle: so you were hoping that i could help you blow off some steam? ;)

hisshissmotherfucker: that was the general idea

theMANtle: youre in luck, then. i currently have a lot of free time and what many call an impressive amount of stamina.

hisshissmotherfucker: perfect

[hisshissmotherfucker is offline]

10:15 PM

gays united

spillthefogarTEA: hey has anyone seen sweet pea? i could have sworn that i saw him before kevin and i made our announcement but now i cant find him anywhere

nopeaz: hes probably just in the bathroom or brooding in the corner somewhere

hbicheryl: dont worry about him just celebrate! youve officially got a new boyfriend!

spillthefogarTEA: "dont worry about him" have you MET me??

goingtoheller: babe, he probably just got bored and bailed.

goingtoheller: i know that he's your best friend, but he isn't who you're dating--i am. can't you forget about sweet pea for a little while and just relax?

spillthefogarTEA: i guess so

goingtoheller: great!

spillthefogarTEA: ill just text sp real quick and attempt to verify that hes still alive first

goingtoheller: whatever you need to do, fangs. i'll see you afterward.

10:19 PM

spillthefogarTEA + hisshissmotherfucker

spillthefogarTEA: hey sweets, i just wanted to make sure you didnt do anything stupid

spillthefogarTEA: i know that you arent kevins biggest fan, but youre my best friend and i dont want to lose you over him

spillthefogarTEA: i wish you were here to celebrate with me but i get it if you cant

spillthefogarTEA: please, just text me back whenever you see this to let me know that youre okay.

[spillthefogarTEA is offline]

10:41 PM

hisshissmotherfucker: thanks for being so understanding fangs but ngl i dont know if i can handle you dating keller

hisshissmotherfucker: i mean like you said

hisshissmotherfucker: we're best friends

hisshissmotherfucker: so i shouldnt have a problem with you going out with whoever you want

hisshissmotherfucker: but something about him just rubs me the wrong way

hisshissmotherfucker: sorry if that wasnt what you wanted to hear

[hisshissmotherfucker is offline]

Notes: Sorry, this was supposed to just be a long holiday chapter, but I had so many ideas I had to split it into two. Bear with me, please! Also, happy new year, gays! As 20gayteen comes to a close, I hope you find even more peace, prosperity, and (of course) bisexuality in 20biteen!!

[chonisbestmistake]

Being Choni's little child in the future and meeting them in the present would be like..

(Im a weirdo and so are my ideas, i know)

Being a little but super smart 5 year old

(Mamas say its their genes)

Actively nodding your head when mama Cheryl tells you to stay close to her in a white wyrm's parking lot

Successfully getting lost cuz there was this beautiful lil butterfly and you couldnt stay still but follow her, mesmerized

Climbing on a tree and falling

Blacking out (turns out you hit your head pretty bad)

Opening your eyes and seeing a sun go down

Thinking that mama will probably kill you cuz you've been dead to the world for god knows how many hours

Running to the white wyrm hoping to find mama Cheryl but instead finding Fangs

Screaming his name and asking him if he saw your parents

Then suddenly starting crying while seeing his big questionable eyes and his mouth hanging open

Hearing him ask who my parents are and starting to explain the situation

Seeing him turning white then red

Witnessing him laughing his ass off while asking whats wrong with that

‘Wait, you mean my friend, Toni Topaz, has a kid with who? Cheryl Blossom aka the queen bee? You serious??’

‘Yes, i am. I am this kid, dont you remember? Now where is my mom? She’s gonna kick you for laughing at me’

Hearing him laugh again and saying ‘Oh, there she is. Hey, Toni, you’ve got a child!’

Seeing your mommy come closer with a confused smile on her face

Apologizing for running away from mama and trying to explain how beautiful this butterfly was

Hearing ‘Wait up, what’s your name, little one?’ in return

‘Mommy, whats wrong with all of you, why does nobody remember me?’

‘Fangs is this some kind of a joke? I swear to God if its you and Sweet Pea again...’

Feeling your cheeks getting wet 

‘Mommy, its not funny, mama Cheryl told me to stay close but i didnt listen and now nobody remember me and i dunno what to do!’

Feeling how Fangs picks you up and murmuring soft ‘Shh, so you’re saying that she is your mom? And your other mom is Cheryl?’

‘Yes.’

Hearing mama Toni say ‘This is some kind of a joke’ 

‘Shh, Toni. If we imagine that somehow this is possible...How old are you and what year is it, nugget?’

‘Im five and its 2027′

‘Oh, woooow. But its 2018 here!’ 

‘Toni, stop being so rude it’s your child after all’

‘No it can’t be, im only 18. And even if i had a kid with someone, it wouldnt be with this horrible chick that doesnt know her place.’

Saying ‘Why are you talking about mama like that? She’s the love of your life, you told me so!’

‘I did? Well, im sorry, but do you have some proof or what? Cuz this is legit crazy, i can even believe that you’re into this, Fangs.’

‘I dont know what you want me to say, mommy. I just know that you love her so much! I...i dont know...you told me stories about you in the past and how you met and about Fangs and Sweet Pea too! I remember you told me how all three of you broke your fingers together while riding bicycles...And how you wished someone to be there when you were sixteen and all alone. You wished to have a baby, just like me!  And then you met mama Cheryl when you were eighteen and you hated each other at first, and...’

‘Stop, just stop. It can’t be real...All those memories. You cant know about them..’

‘But you told me, mommy!’

‘No, stop! Im not your mother, I cant be!’

Seeing her walking out the door with tears streaming down her face

Silently crying too

Hearing Fangs say ‘I believe you, hun, i was there when we broke our fingers. Guessing, you came from the future, nugget.’

‘Well, its not like anybody’s happy to see me. Not even my mom.’

-----

[Part 2]

[chonidale]

Hmmm you know I’m interested to see what chonis plot actually is. Riverdale is the only show I’ve watched where their ep descriptions and promos don’t actually tell you who necessarily has the a plot of the episode(and that’s every ep not just this one). I’m excited to see their dynamic actually shown to us more beyond a few seconds and what even the possible friction could be about since it actually will have relevance to the main story this season for once.

I’m excited and nervous, because I don’t trust these writers with Cheryl and all the nuance that should come with this story; they’re too inconsistent with her. Like I’ve said before, I don’t think how she acted in 3x09 was out of character, but it was a regression and it had basically no build up and it certainly showed no follow through - we didn’t get to see any of her motivations nor did we get to see her true feelings after the fact (since anyone that knows Cheryl knows that what she said to Jughead, in front of the whole gang, isn’t her true feelings); they just love to have Cheryl act out whenever it’s convenient, and ignore all the character development and growth they’ve given her. 

Cheryl is unlikely to handle and react to her first fight with Toni in the way more people would, that much is a given, but that doesn’t have to mean she reacts irrationally or bitchy; I really don’t know if I trust the writers to write her sympathetically and actually acknowledge why she inevitably doesn’t react well, as opposed to just have her doing the most and come off unhinged, if that makes sense? Like, that’s what I’m really nervous about. I don’t think they’ll break up from it, I’m just worried about how they’ll handle it and how they’ll make Cheryl and their relationship look during it, because like I’ve said before, f/f ships and lesbian characters are always held up to a higher standard in fandom, and people have just been waiting for an excuse to hate on Cheryl and call Choni toxic, and they will do it over the littlest thing. So I need the writers to actually acknowledge and explore the effects of Penelope’s abuse and Clifford’s negligence have on her now, and how that’s harmed her ability to know how to be in a loving relationship and how to take criticism. Like, if they don’t have Cheryl think Toni is sick of her or she’s driven her away the first time Toni gets mad at her, then what are they even doing? You know Penelope’s constant abuse has had Cheryl waiting for it to happen, so I want them to explore that aspect with drama with them, not Cheryl being unhinged or bitchy. The dream would be for them to actually acknowledge and explore Cheryl’s mental illness ontop of that, but Riverdale would never, so I’ll aim lower.

All that being said, I had my speculations and I still do, but based on the promo - Toni sounding more scared than angry, Cheryl being more involved in the Kevin and Moose stuff than original thought - I can see it being about Toni being worried about Cheryl doing something dangerous and being impulsive. I think that’d be an interesting angle to take, as Cheryl has never had anyone to really worry about her before, and it could lead to Toni opening up about her losing people before, maybe? Her parents? And it could even tie into her stealing stuff. Though I feel like there was some drama or tension in 313 and 314 too, given how much Vanessa filmed with other people, and I don’t really see how that drama would stretch out into the next couple episodes so idk.

[buzzybeesinlove]

when vanessa talked about deleted scenes and said she hopes they're saving all that stuff for season 3 for choni and they dont want a big rush in the relationship... like i get that for a full on sex scene and i guess toni moving in to thistlehouse but the others ?? like the musical ones, the one where cheryl calls toni her gf, the one where toni calls her and says she'll find her and then cheryl in the hospital asking how she found her like dude these little moments mean so much more than making out and sex scenes (even if we want those too) bc they're developments in their relationship that are important and show the care they have for each other like half their relationship is deleted scenes and if the playbills didnt exist we wouldnt have even known they were official because the scene was cut so like sjsks idk i get cutting some scenes but those little ones ? nah they were just as important

[blookmallow]

i fffiiinished silent hill..... ? i gu Ess??? i mean. i had a good time, it was an interesting experience, but goddamn if i understood anything, at all, ever :’  ) 

im guessing its bc i. got the wrong ending but i dont know what i did,

now we’ve got ghosts 

i dont....understand who this is i dunno if i just didnt play for too long and forgot everything that was happening or what but uh 

lisa, uh, you’ve. you’ve got a little blood on your. uh 

well, everything, now, 

yikes 

well that happened 

i dont. understand who she was or what significance she had with. anything at all either, 

fuck yeah at least we got jelly beans in these trying times 

he tried to open it and they just. spilled out everywhere. good job idiot 

oh

well goddamn 

,,,alright 

so i. guess. my daughter got eaten by the town and somehow turned into. dahlia’s daughter, who she was. abusing/using as some kind of conduit for a. demon or something she was trying to unleash for Ultimate Power???

i dont understand what that has to do with cheryl at all though

something something her fear fuels the demon’s power i think ??

still dont know why cheryl is involved here though. maybe... through possessing cheryl she can free herself from the hell her mother trapped her in??? i dont know, :’  ) 

i really hope all this talk about wombs and “she will become the mother of god” etc doesn’t mean the girl was forced to birth the demon or some shit i hope thats metaphorical 

o K AY 

EXCUSE ME WHAT IS HAPPENING 

dahlia got burned to death so i guess shes not gonna explain this to me either then 

?? I GUESS WE’RE SHOOTING ANGELS IN THE FACE NOW TOO SINCE THERE APPEARS TO BE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING FUCKING ELSE I CAN DO IN HERE 

i guess i. stopped the demon but also killed alessa/sheryl in the process but doing so also freed them from Nightmare Existences ???

and also harry’s dead now i think somehow or maybe He Was Dead All Along or maybe he killed himself after going through all that or i have no fucking idea 

why was this the best representation of dahlia they could come up with for the credits sequence 

man this was keeping track of a lot more shit than i expected it to be doing 

clearly i got the bad ending but i donT KNOW WHY OR HOW :’) i dont remember anything that seemed like an actual Choice unless theres like. ways to get around bosses without fighting them or something??? or if you get bad endings for killing a buncha shit for some reason even though theres no indication that you shouldnt 

i also apparently missed a shit ton of items somehow so thats probably why, i probably missed something important or like. 90 entire rooms somehow or something :’| i was really trying to explore everything but i kept getting super lost in the dark,,

i also never figured out what that water bottle i picked up in the kitchen 900 years ago was for. maybe the water bottle was the key to the whole thing and i never knew it. maybe that water bottle could have saved my daughter’s life and i just missed my chance. the world may never know 

my save file now says “new fear” or something so im guessing i have another chance to do things right but it appeared to just be like. starting the game over and i really dont want to play through all that again rn especially without Knowing what im looking for at all so im just gonna leave it at that for now :’) 

if anyone wants to help me sort out what the Fuck any of that was hmu :’ ) 

i MEAN i had a good time, i legitimately did enjoy playing this, just, Wow What The Actual Fuck

[rigginsstreet]

who’s ready for a rant cuz youre getting one anyway

will i ever stop being mad about the devolution of alice coopers character in season 2? for literally the sake of a fucking flop ass relationship that caters to fans and madchen who have no taste? no

s1 alice IS the better alice. no ifs ands or buts about it. you absolutely cannot change my mind. but fandom cant handle female characters who are just straight up, unapologetically bitches (its the same fucking reason we got 2 seconds of mob boss!hermione before finding out she’s apparently just a pawn in her husbands schemes.... get the fuck out of here. the hermione at the start of s2 and the hermione at the end of s2 are two different people and guess which one i prefer.... take your time.)

ANYWAY. s1 alice was complex. she had her reasons for her behavior whether you liked them or not. SHE felt justified. and you know what? not every action or thought process made by a character needs to be “good” or “right”. but yall just couldnt fucking handle that. and yes, by the end of the season we got a sob story to let us in on why alice is the way she is. and that was great. but it didnt completely change her. even at the start of s2 she was still her snippy judgy self but oh my god once we started getting into flice territory and chic and betty and the fucking serpents well then.... wow.... goodbye alice cooper and hello pod!alice. 

she starts making choices that make absolutely no goddamn sense and you know....i can only take the “i miss my long lost son and will do anything to keep him” excuse for so long. and where i draw the line is COVERING UP A FUCKING MURDER FOR A BITCH YOU MET ALL OF 5 MINUTES AGO! but yall really sat there and thought that was acceptable my mind is... blown. 

and what i absolutely will never forgive yall for is thinking its cute for alice cooper to take her ass down to the trailer park with her titties pushed up tryna fuck her daughters boyfriends father WHAT PART OF THAT SENTENCE, TO YOU, SOUNDS GOOD? SAY IT OUT LOUD. READ IT AGAIN. EXPLAIN TO ME WHERE YALL FIND THE FUCKING LOGIC IN THAT

all we got in s2 was alice crying the whole goddamn time and going back to a life she spent YEARS trying to escape and yall call that “growth” get the fuck outta here i have a headache. she’s not just a shell of her former self. 

i get that alice was a character meant to be “likable” but im so tired of female characters only allowed to ~earn~ that title after theyre completely stripped of every characteristic that made them *them* (its the same shit that pissed me off in the maleficent movie LEAVE MY FEMALE VILLAINS ALONE)

and on the flipside, you have penelope blossom who the writers decided needs to be completely unlikable to the point they forced in some half ass contrived ass homophobia story for her FUCK. YOU. and penelope is still given her moments of vulnerability (barely) and we can see on some level she does care for cheryl but guess what? if i redemption arc for penelope means her becoming some lifeless doormat like alice (like she really had no reaction to her grandkids being taken across the country.... thats not my alice cooper), I DONT WANT IT! 

and fandom needs to do better. yall are so fucking wrapped up in characters being the heroes and having ~pure~ motives and whatever other bullshit that the minute a character comes along to say “fuck that” yall POUNCE. id rather have an entertaining villain than a boring ass hero thank you. 

and im still fucking laughing over madchen being a proponent for strong female characters who arent “just wives/girlfriends” meanwhile shes the one sitting here like “we need more flice! let alice have a walk of shame out of fps trailer” girl.... bye. nothing about this fucking storyline is female empowerment i hope to god no ones looking at s2 alice for guidance jfc 

s2 alice is a joke. they ruined a perfectly good character is what they did and for what? so yall could jerk off to thoughts of madchen and skeet? so yall could feel better about enjoying alice? god forbid a woman be angry or mean or hard. fuck off

[thefudge]

Please, I need your thoughts on the Riverdale season premiere!

well!! 

a) ghoulies + penny bore me, they need to go already. i am more interested in whatever true detective shit they’re gonna do with that gargoyle king. i know some folks think that this foray into quasi-supernatural is lame, but as long as they keep it creepy but still very much rooted in reality, i’ll be happy.  

b) jeronica small scenes for life!!! waitress veronica + voyeur jughead *heart eyes*

c) archie taking the deal was only done so that we’d see him a few episodes in jail and #drama. i wish his decision had been better built up. in fact, i wish there was a secret deal, like archie agreeing to go to jail as informant too. anything rly.

d) b*ghead is a wet blanket, but what else is new. try not to cringe whenever they have intimate scenes. the beanie scene itself will go down in history as the cringe of the cringe. 

e) sweet pea and josie have a lot of chemistry but im not pleased that they didnt bother to give us quality scenes of them hooking up in the first place. thx for telling but not showing ugh i hope this is remedied

f) i may be….a naysayer, but cheryl/toni is so goddamn tame and restrained. they barely allow these girls to touch, they’re so scared. i did like the fact that cheryl was genuinely upset about archie and still acknowledges that he saved her life

g) archie’s parents reacted FAR TOO WELL to archie taking the deal. my parents would’ve fuckin rioted. but ok. 

h) i loved molly ringwald’s updo 

i) hiram could be a great villain if they rly dug into his relationship with veronica or hermione, but they won’t, sigh. speaking of, hermione is such a tragic, underwhelming character. she started out strong in S1, and now i just honestly don’t care about her problems anymore 

j) did i mention i’m bored with penny? she’s gotta have a new take.

k) also the serpents are rly fucking dumb, going into her territory without serious back-up when they know what the ghoulies are capable of. like, lucky for them, cheryl brought her bow and arrows. and jughead afterwards saying cheryl is a loose cannon UMMM U ARE A DUMB CHILD, if she hadnt “loosened the cannon” you’d be dead rn 

l) which brings me to my next point; jughead shouldnt have been made serpent king. it’s too soon and it jumps the shark of plausibility. he is not a competent leader, even if he means well. ditto,and i mean FUCKIN DITTO, for betty as his “serpent queen” fckin let it die. cheryl and toni were side-eyeing her so much during her “warrior queen” speech. i kind of liked how in past seasons betty didnt have to be anything in order to fight for what she believed in. now everyone’s a serpent. no thx.

m) i will say i am pleased archie getting the serpent tattoo had actual practical reasons behind it

n) the cult subplot is going to be ridiculous, we knew that from the start, but idk if it’s going to be good ridiculous. we’ll have to wait and see. i dont buy that alice cooper would fall for some guru that fast when she’s also gettin dicked by FP on the down-low but ok 

o) why is polly just 100% evil now? is chic’s spirit possessing her?

p) also ya heard it here first, but since chic is supposed to return this season, i predict a “dark betty” moment where she will have some kind of intimate scene with him. maybe not sexual, but definitely inappropriate 

q) also the whole “i invented a shrink and am addicted to pills” thing needs to be layered better. maybe i missed something. 

r) this was an entertaining episode, notwithstanding the dumb stuff. riverdale can be gripping when it wants to. i just wonder if the various storylines they’ve planted this season will pay off or even be addressed (like, i have a bad feeling about the treatment of josie/sweet pea)

[wayward--writings]

Chapter 2

  You sat in the cafeteria reading over your notes for a chemistry test coming up, as Sweet Pea and Fangs sat on either side of you.  Sweet Pea made a grab for your paper but you were too quick for him.  

“Nerd,” he teased. 

  You jabbed him in the side with your fork making him jump. 

“Bitch,” he said smirking.

“Jerk,” you eyed him over the paper.  He took a fry off your plate and popped it in his mouth.  Fangs just eyed the pair of you before rolling his eyes.  

“Have you thought about the serpents any?” Asked Fangs.

“No, not really, just trying to keep my grades somewhat decent.” you replied giving up on your notes and setting the back into your bag.  Slumping on the table and letting out a sigh, Fangs placed his hand on yours.  

“What is it little sweetie?” he asked giving you a pouty face.  

“Im never going to pass chemistry.” you admitted. 

“I can help you.” he replied.  

Raising your eyebrows, “You’re good at chemistry?” 

“Well I can definitely read whats going on between you two, soooo” he trailed off.  His comments made you and Sweet Pea shift a little bit. “Im kidding, relax, jeez. I can take you home and help you study.”

  Nodding, you agreed.  The bell rang signaling all the students to file out for the pep rally.  The three of you stayed sitting, eating the last bit of french fries before falling behind the rest of the kids.  Sitting up front, the boys wanted to be sure that Toni could hear them cheering. You couldnt help but smile as Toni and the other Vixens did their dance.  She looked so out of place and at home all at the same time.  It was odd to see her without her serpent jacket but she shined bright in her blue and gold cheer uniform.  Sweet Pea’s voice boomed throughout the gym as Toni did a somersault.  Even Cheryl had to stop and watch her girlfriend do her thing.  

  The school was booming with school spirit as Reggie Mantle, a tall jock with dark hair, gave his pep talk about how the bulldogs were going to eat the Greendale kids for dinner and all of that.  You werent really paying attention.  Toni was making faces at the three of you during it until Cheryl gave her a look. 

“Do you want to go the game later?” Fangs asked as you both walked over to his motorcycle.  

Shaking your head, “No, I dont really like sportsball. Ya’ know the whole home run and the go team go, its not really my thing.”

“What the hell just came out of your mouth?” He laughed as you aproached his bike.  Sliding on the helmet and slipping on the back the two of you roared off towards the Southside.

“Where’s your mom?” Fangs asked as you walked into the house. 

“She works nights at the hospital.” you replied throwing your keys in the bowl on the entry table.  “You want anything to drink?” you ask grabbing a water from the fridge.  He nods.  Picking up another water bottle and tossing it over to him before plopping on the couch with your book bag.  He joined you.

  Just as you were getting started with the homework, he blurted, “So you like Sweet Pea?” 

Shifting uncomfortably again,”What? No, why would you say that?” 

  He just stares at you. Then raising his eyebrow, which makes you sigh. “I mean sure he’s cute, but were friends.  Just friends. Im still new and ya know,”

“Yeah just friends, okay.” he says not convinced. 

  He changed the subject back to the homework.  The way he broke everything down was extremely helpful.  You even solved a few equations yourself.  Just as the pair of you were wrapping everything up your phone lit up from Toni.

TT: hey girl, cheryl is having a kick back after the game....u in?

“So Cheryl is having a party.” you stated to Fangs.  He looks up from his papers.

“Who’s going?” He asked eagerly. 

M: fangs wants to know who is going

TT: tell him to get his serpent ass there and stop obsessing over kevin

  You let out a chuckle as he grabbed your phone.  

“Well thats just rude,” he said blushing a bit.  “You wanna go?” he asked.

“Yeah sure. I just need to tell my mom.” you say texting her.  “Let me change really quick.”  

  He nodded as you made your way to the bedroom.  Rummaging through the clothes in your closet you couldnt decide on anything to wear. 

“Fangs, what do I wear?” you yelled down the hall.

“Im coming,” He said sighing.  

  Fangs tore through your wardrobe and found an outfit the was suitable.  You layered the flannel over a plain grey t shirt and black skinny jeans. He threw some booties at you.

“Cuff the bottom of your pants,” he said pointing to your ankles. You obliged with no argument before slipping into the boots.

Skipping down the trail to his bike, you slipped on the helmet he gave you and gripped onto his waist as you jolted away into the darkness.  

  Thistle House was booming with noise, as the music and people spilled out through every nook and cranny.  Fangs pulled the motorcycle to a halt. 

“You good?” he asked. 

“What?” you asked confused, and then it clicked. “Go find your man, Fangs.”

  He smiled and kissed your cheek with a big ‘MUAH!’ 

  Leaving you laughing, he trotted inside, you followed but on a different mission. Maybe you did like Sweet Pea, you just didnt realize it until someone called you out on it.  Wandering through the swarms of people, you craned through the different faces. Just looking for the familiar one you yearned for.  You stopped in the kitchen to grab some of the punch and take a shot. You know, for some liquid courage.  Suddenly, there were hands on your waist.  You smiled and turned, only for that smile to fall immediately.  Reggie Mantle had his hands resting on your hips as he peered down at you with an intoxicated smile.  

“I dont think we have actually had the pleasure of meeting.” he said.  You could feel his confidence oozing from him, when a hand appeared on his shoulder.  The silver rings glinting in the light of the chandelier.  Your heart skipped as Sweet Pea appeared.  Reggie turned and his face slipped.  

“Serpent,” he spat.

“Yeah, I wouldnt touch her if I were you.  She doesnt really like that.” Sweet Pea said towering over the jock.  

“pshh whatever take your girlfriend.” he said leaving.  

  You smiled up at him as he rubbed your head.  

“Glad you made it,” he said winking and picking up the bottle you had in front of you.  You put out an extra glass for yourself and he poured you a shot. You took it and made a sour face, making him laugh.  

“How do you take shots so easily?!” you exclaim as the vodka burned down your throat.  

“Youre doing it wrong. What you do is inhale. shot. exhale. Look!” he said pouring himself another one and demonstrating before pouring you another one.  Taking the shot in one hand you eyed him.  Inhale. And you shot it back before letting out the air.  It was so much smoother than before and he explained you literally blow out that alcohol taste which is what most people hate.  

“Makes sense.” You say as you feel the alcohol warm your veins.  

“Come on drunkey,” he said laughing at you as he took you to another crowded room, but this one had a couch, where you both sat and laughed as people acted like fools.

“Have you thought anymore about the serpents,” he asked.

“You already asked me that today.” you said looking over to him.  

He shrugged. “ I just think you would do well in the serpents.” 

“Excuse me party people!” Cheryl yelled over all the noise and interrupting your talk with Sweet Pea.  “I want to play a game! How about 7 minutes in heaven.”  She clapped her hands together.  It seemed that it was torn right down the middle, with some people loving this idea, but most groaning in protest. 

Your heart was racing as she scanned the room, when finally her finger landed on you. Your face turned bright red and you could feel Sweet pea tighten in his seat. But her finger kept moving after she called your name. Your eyes narrowed. What is her game, you thought to yourself.

She settled a few seats down, on Reggie.  Of course she did.  

“Ok you two, go go go.”Cheryl said taking both your hands and shoving you in a closet. You stood there in near darkness in silence.

“Well you don’t have to be so stiff. What’s your name?” He asked while placing a hand on your hip.

“Molly. Remove your hand. “ you said taking a step back.

“Oh come on, sweetness,” he said coming closer again.

“If you don’t back the fuck away from me,” you started but he cut you.

“What? You’re going to have your serpent boyfriend kick my ass? Newsflash we already fought. Ask him how that went.” He lunged forward for a kiss and as his lips pressed hard against yours, your knee presses hard against his groin. Making him double over in pain.

“I don’t need anyone to fight my battles for me. I can handle myself, dick!” Throwing open the door, everyone’s eyes fell on you and Reggie’s slumped body.

You took off running for outside where it felt like you could finally breathe. You leaned against sweet peas bike and took a sharp inhale in and out, when you heard footsteps approaching behind you. You turned to see Fang’s tilted head looking at you. Standing up straight as he approached.

“Hey killer, you alright?” He asked placing a hand on your back.

“Yeah,” you couldn’t help but feel the disappointment waft through you.

“What’s wrong,” he nudged.

“It’s nothing,” you said shrugging him off.

“Alright…….But you’re missing your chance!” He dragged it out as he turned slowly.

“I like sweet pea!” You shouted.

He put his hand on his cheek dramatically. “Nooooo.”

You shove him as he laughed.

“Do you want me to take you home?” He asks putting his arm around you.

“Yeah don’t think I really want to go back in there.” You say imagining Reggie still on his knees in pain.

He nods and hands you the helmet again.

You tossed and turned since you got home and laid down. Why could it not have been sweet pea she called on. What was the whole point of putting you with Reggie? It really didn’t matter you’re just thankful Fangs took you home. Your mom is working late shift at the hospital again so the house is extremely quiet. So quiet that when your phone buzzed you nearly jumped out of your skin. You turn to grab it off the night stand and see his name light up the screen.

SP: hey I’m outside

M: wait what?

SP: open the door!

You put your slippers on and slipped through the house. You can make out Sweet Peas silhouette through the glass door. He’s shifting side to side as you open the door only to see him standing there with a huge black eye.

“Sweet Pea What the hell happened?!” You shrieked reaching up to touch his face. He winced as you pressed a gentle hand to the bruise. Grabbing his hand and leading him inside, you set home down on the couch before grabbing a pack of frozen peas for his face.“What happened?!” You repeated. 

He shrugged.

 “No, what the hell happened?”you asked a third time.

“I beat up Reggie,” he said hanging his head.

“Why the hell would you do that,” folding your arms across you chest and eyeing him. He shrugged again.Approaching slowly, you lifted his head with your index finger and kissed his forehead.“Well thank you. But again you didn’t have to do that. I can manage.” You say while placing the bag on his face.He winced but didn’t make a sound.“Just please tell me he looks worse than you do?”

  He raises his eyes to yours and flashes a devilish grin and then nods.

“Good,” You say as he yawns. “Do you want to stay here tonight? You have to be gone before my mom gets home but I can make you a palette on the floor?”

“Yeah that would be awesome.” He nods while rubbing his eyes.

   You get up and he follows as you walk down the hall, stopping at the linen closet.

“Soooooo we have two extra blankets….” you say to him.

“It’s ok I can just go home.” He says.

“Or you can just sleep in the bed, with me?” You offer.

“Uhhhm, oh-okay, Yeah, that’s fine, we’re good, yeah.” He stammered.

“Oh come on like you’ve never slept in the same bed with fangs or Toni?” You tease while leading him into your bedroom.

“Yeah but-“ he cuts himself off.

  Kicking off your slippers you slid to the inside of the bed.  You eyed him as he was unmoved from the doorway. Sighing and rolling your eyes, you tap the bed.  He smiled and removed his jacket and boots. 

“Are you sure because I can just sleep on the floor?” he said as he stood at the edge of the bed.

“Get in the damn bed, Sweet Pea.” you said before turning towards the wall.  The mattress shifted with his weight, and you couldnt help but to admit, it felt nice to have him there with you.  

“Hey, Pea,” you said in the darkness. 

“Hmm,” he grumbled groggily. 

“Do you really think I would make a good serpent?” 

“The best serpent.” he said without hesitation. 

  You laid back and sighed, barely holding back a wild grin.  “Alright, Im in.”