#cherri cola fluff

[cherry-leclerc]

cherry cola ☆ op81

genre: smut, humor, yearning, tiny bit of fluff, virgin!reader, innocent!reader, experienced!oscar, sub!reader (for a while!), dom!oscar (for a while!)

word count: 8.5k

After a painful break up, Oscar finds himself head-to-head with an enticing girl, filled with pure innocence. Also known as, his parents secret weapon, and his worst temptation.

nsfw warning under the cut!

18+...f!receiving, fingering, brief mentions of masturbation, face riding, missionary sex, doggy style

inspired by this !

cherry here!... hellooo anons, long time, no see haha sorry for the lack of posts, but hopefully this makes up for it, somehow? formal apology for my last post too while we're at it. though this fic is inspired by cola by lana del rey, it will not have a sour ending like past fics (iykyk). missed u all, so here ya go! enjoy :)

There is an apprehensive sensation that towers over him as soon as she walks in; shy mannered, tall, and firm with a hint of hesitation—it’s something he adores about her, but also something that has him feeling jittery. Oftentimes, her lips are his most prized possession, enjoying the way they move. All except at this very moment. 

Everyone notices his bitter, broken, and quiet mood despite always laying low. He’s never been one to share his problems with others, and he most definitely was not going to start now. It should be the best moment of the season—his first win—but he doesn’t have the joy to celebrate it with anyone. 

Oscar’s brown eyes are low and dull; empty. He’d be a damn liar if he said he didn’t see any of this coming. If he didn’t feel an ounce of guilt and misery. Should he have been more attentive, a better boyfriend, then he wouldn’t be regretting his life choices. Dramatic, but true. 

“How are you spending your summer break? Are you and Lily traveling?”

The Australian tries to scoff at the innocent inquiry beaming from his teammate, but he settles with a wince, not being able to hide it. “She, um…we broke up, actually.” He’s never been a religious individual—has never even set foot inside a church—but for the first time in his life, he prayed no more questions would be asked.

Lando raises his thick brows, clearly surprised by the sudden confession. Sure, they were a private couple—likely the most in the entire paddock—but he never saw this coming from Oscar and Lily. Though he only met her a couple of times, simply exchanging a kind greeting, he would’ve bet his entire Rolex collection that the couple were smitten with one another. “Ah, I’m sorry, mate.”

The rude sound of his race suit being zipped up harshly makes the Brit flinch in the slightest. “Don’t worry about it. That’s life, no?”

Costa Rica—they were supposed to go to Costa Rica. Instead, now, he sits alone on a flight back to his home country. He’s ecstatic to be sleeping in his childhood room with outdated posters hung of all his favorite drivers, but the feeling lingers. 

Sprawled like a koala, humid t-shirt pressed against his skin, he tosses and turns for an estimate of five whole minutes. He should be enjoying the beach, sipping on highly sweetened margaritas, getting the worst tan of his life, but he’s here. The hot summer air in Melbourne makes him spit out a string of dirty curses that would send his mum into a coma. 

The brunette might as well be an only child since not a single one of his three sisters were here to keep him company, ditching him with his parents. He loved them, of course he did, but a full house was his ideal way to spend his break. His home gym isn’t even enough to help him forget, even for a second. 

“Dinner is ready, honey,” Nicole announces, peeking carefully through the crack of the door. She grins widely. “There’s even pavlova—your favorite.”

He forces a polite nod, shaggy hair dangling just above his eyes. “Thank you. I’ll be out in a bit.” It actually takes a sum of thirty-minutes for him to jog down the stairs, a strong scent of apple expanding from his now washed hair. His dad hums as soon as he spots the McLaren driver. 

“It’s rude to leave guests waiting, Oscar,” he warns with a deep voice. 

The twenty-three year old assumes it’s a lame dad joke, perhaps, so runs along with it, taking a good look around the dining room. “Won’t happen again. I showered—”

“Where would you like to place the dessert, Mrs. Piastri?” a soft voice echoes down the hallway as he turns at the unfamiliar tone. You halt, caught off guard by the new presence. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you would be here.” 

“In my own home?” he finds himself squeaking involuntarily. The stern look that dances across his parents faces is enough for him to bite down on his tongue. He doesn’t even know why he said any of that—especially to a stranger. 

They introduce you two quickly, though you’re just as fast as to say that you obviously knew about his existence. Do you follow my races? You shake your head, glossy hair shining. “I work for your parents, so…I sort of know. Plus, your sisters always talk highly about you when you’re gone.”

He blinks. “You work here?” Brown eyes flicker to his parents, confusion written all over. “What could she possibly do?”

“Oscar,” Nicole scolds. “I thought you left all the unnecessary questions back in junior high.”

Chris slides a large hand over her smaller one, calming her down just a tad bit. The older man sighs. “You know your mum, always looking for something new to do—”

“I wanted to grow a garden!” she squeals, delighted. “Like in all those magazines you get me for my birthday—oh, so lovely, honey. Only I realized, I don’t know anything about gardening.”

“And this lovely girl standing right here is a total natural. Her hands must be magic.” Oscar blushes hard at his dads choice of words. “She’s helping us out for the time being. Until we get back.”

The Australian's mouth opens, then snaps back shut, swallowing. “Get back from where?”

“Costa Rica!”

He gapes. “You’re using my tickets?”

Nicole winces. “Can’t let them go to waste, honey…”

His father butts in. “How is Lily by the way?”

The brunette groans, running his hands through his waves. “How should I know? Come on, you guys can’t be serious.” The tickets weren’t the problem; the fact that they were leaving was.  He spots you awkwardly placing the pastry down onto the table. “Can you give us a minute?” 

“Yes, of course,” you quip, glad to have a reason to flee far enough away from the premises. You turn to the Piastri’s who smile fondly at your understanding. “I’ll be out in the garden.”

As soon as you rush out, the twenty-three year old turns swiftly. “I guess I’m leaving too.”

“Don’t you dare, Oscar Jack Piastri—” He fumes. “Why not? You’re all going to be gone!”

“She won’t—you are keeping her company.” She’s not asking; she’s demanding. Staring back in shock, the McLaren driver avoids eye contact, fidgeting like a kid at their first day of school. His mum stands up, makes her way over, and pecks his soft cheek. “She’s a sweet girl. She won’t be a bother—she’s just down the hallway.”

That’s where Lily would always stay back when they first started their relationship; too afraid of making a bad impression on his parents. He found it adorable. He rolls his eyes and releases a heavy breath. “Fine.” He stares out the glass window, focusing on where you patiently sit on the wooden bench, delicate hands pressing your dress down against your thighs. “Fine...”

-

The following morning, his parents wake him up at the crack of dawn, bidding goodbye. It comes as a total surprise, thinking he had a few more days left with them, but no. He’s barely registering any of it before they whisper inaudible nonsense and scurry out of his bedroom. 

After some debating, he changes and decides to go on a quick run. The sight of Ms. Alleck watering her burnt grass makes him smile as he sets off. It would have been easier to not get as tired if it were a slight bit chilly, but it’s blazing hot. He cuts it short, dashing back home and immediately serving himself a glass of cold water. 

“You’re up early.”

The brown eyed boy jumps in sudden surprise. Standing in a pastel yellow sleeping gown, you grin brightly. Long lashes lay flat, nose pinching rosy pink, and breath minty. “Yeah, my folks sort of woke me up. Couldn’t fall back asleep.”

“Oh.” You pout. “They left already?”

“You knew?”

“Yup. They mentioned it last night before bed.” A beat. “I hope me staying here isn’t making you uncomfortable…it’s just that they offered, and—”

“It’s not.” Lie. “Make yourself at home.”

Not much is seen or heard from him for the majority of the day; occasional glaces coming here and there. They put you in an uncomfortable spot yesterday—you had been working on the garden for a year now, damn it—but their son's demeanor took you by surprise. The pictures and stories were something you relied on as the only source of getting to know him: polite, tall, and swanky—boyish.

That was so far from the truth. Oscar Piastri has grown into his body; almost appearing to be a handsome giant. Despite his warm face, his attitude is a bit snarky. He has no problem in saying what’s on his mind. And he is most definitely not a boy. 

He’s a man.

“What do you say?” 

“Sorry?” 

He chuckles, Adam's Apple dancing up and down. “Would you like to join me for dinner?”

It wasn't his intention to try and get close to you—not purposefully, at least—but he thought; why not? Who knows when his parents are coming back, when his sisters would, and he wanted to prove to you that he wasn’t some snotty guy. Summer is summer, after all. A friend to spend it with sounds quite nice.

Pursing your red lips, you nod, setting your book aside. The dinner table is already set up. Chicken and rice. That’s it. Given, it looks and smells amazing, but plain. You quirk a brow. “Aren’t you supposed to eat your greens? To drive quicker?” He burns up at you teasing tone.

“I didn’t want to risk burning the house down. We’re lucky I was able to get even this done.”

“Very well.” The refrigerator opens, colorful veggies staring back at him. You grin, slow and easy. “I’ll take care of it. It’s only fair, roomie.”

-

Oscar left home a few years ago, migrating to the United Kingdom for work, so it had been a while since he had stepped foot in his backyard. He faintly remembers his pirate treehouse, his sisters’ Barbie’s cluttered inside. It was a bone-chilling sight for baby Oscar back then, but now, the paint is chipping off, the wood looks a lot weaker. It’s a nostalgic feeling.

The new additions are stunning. A bunch of healthy flowers beam back at him and he swallows when he realizes he can’t name a single one. Waxflowers, Calamint, Dahlias, Peonies, Carnations, California Poppies. One by one, he admires with an open mouth. “They’re beautiful.” He turns to you with a proud smile. “You’ve done an excellent job.”

Pink feathers onto your already blushed cheeks, biting back a cheesy grin. You had decided to eat out on the bench, choosing to enjoy the now fresh air. Still humid, but less than before. The scent of coconut sunscreen makes his whiff constantly. “So…Costa Rica?”

He winces. It was too soon to talk about the situation, but something in your calm voice makes it easier to spit it out even though you probably already heard from his parents. All of a sudden, your savory carrots taste like complete shit. “T’was supposed to go with my girlf—my ex. My ex-girlfriend.” 

You pout, sorrowfully. “Oh, I’m sorry, Oscar. I didn’t mean to…I had no clue.” And it’s genuine. Guess his parents weren’t complete traitors. 

“Tell me—how long have you been working on fixing the garden?”

“Since last summer,” you hum, chewing down on a piece of grilled chicken. “This is the first time I have actually stayed here, though. Your parents are sweet. As soon as they heard that you were coming back home, they insisted I kept you company.”

Sharp jaw clenches and he scoffs. You simply blink back innocently. Then, he notices it. The way it reflects against the yellow ray of the now setting sun. He knows what it is, so he doesn’t ask. Too busy staring off into the distance, you place your plate down. “Let me show you a few other things I’ve been working on.”

There’s row and row, further into the open area; every twist and turn makes his brows raise up higher, impressed by the noticeable updates. Coming to a halt, he spins his head around, brown locks hitting his temples. “Since when do we have a cherry tree?”

You beam, orbs shining with excitement. “Since last summer!” you repeat, cheerfully. You pick one, handing it for him to try. An embarrassing moan erupts once the sweet nectar slides down his throat. “Good?”

“Bloody amazing.” Every compliment makes you squeal with delight. “My mum is actually allergic to cherries, so how…”

“She was actually the one who brought it up. Said she knew how much I loved them, and that I deserved a little something for flourishing her garden. I couldn’t deny the chance to do so.” You bite down on your lip, sheepishly. “They are my favorite.”

Reaching for one makes him look away as soon as your dress rises up, soft legs poking through. Bare feet press against the wet grass as you tippy toe. He mustered a fake cough, but as soon as you bite down onto the bloody fruit, he clicks into a trance. 

Plump lips; thick and juicy. Long lashes fluttering shut against your glossy cheeks. That could have been because of the summer heat, but it affected him just the same. The familiar sensation of attraction rushes to his cock as he stands stiffly—but also loosely. He was loose. So fucking loose.

Something hits his cheekbones and it rips him away from his drooling. A singular seed now lays by his feet; indicating what you had done. A crinkled, wobbly smile shines back at him, hands nervously flattening your dress back down. The Australian jokingly lunges towards you as you squeal, backing away. 

“You were disintegrating! I had to get your attention one way or another!”

Oh, you definitely got his attention. Giving you one final scowl, he stops his steps. “Everything—all of it—it’s great. Thank you.” The wind picks up and you shiver. “...for doing this for my parents.”

Neat hair flies against the breeze, covering your eyes for a minute. Pushing it aside, you scrunch your nose faintly. “Anytime.”

-

Technically, what you’re getting paid for was to watch over the beloved yard; that’s all. But you offer to do more. Mow the lawn? Paint the chipped wall? Wash the windows?

“God no, darling,” Oscar’s mum laughs through the end of the line. “You are doing enough already. Please. Relax.”

But you can’t. Nibbling on your thumb, you brush the counter, strolling past countless family portraits. A smile slips when you spot a toothless Oscar. “I insist.”

So, here you are; decluttering the attic. After a bit of bickering with Nicole, she eventually gives in and asks for a favor. Clean and tidy the small room. Easy peasy. 

“Ouch,” you hiss when a nail digs through your skin, gore immediately pouring out of you like a waterfall; you squeak. Just then, a certain brunette peeks their head through the entrance.

“Oh good, it’s you. I thought we had an intruder.”

Raising a skeptical brow at him and the thin duvet, you quickly take it from him, pressing it down to ease the bleeding. “Holy crap, are you okay?” In one motion, he steps closer to you, analyzing the injury with worried eyes. You groan.

“It’s only a little cut. No biggie.” But the way your face is slowly losing color lets him know that your words aren't true. Brown eyes flicker, searching for a spot to sit, but everything about this is crowded. You were just about to start tidying; the mess was still there. Crouching onto a tiny stool, he takes a seat, somehow still towering over you. Or at least that's what it felt like, because suddenly, you felt suffocated. 

His long legs are spread as you stand between them, hand out towards him as he winces at the brutal cut. “Ah—that’s pretty deep.” He gags when he notices the underneath flesh. You suppress a giggle. “We should go to the ER.” 

You scoff, ripping away from his grip, tripping over a box. Regaining your balance, you drape the cloth over your hand once again. “That won’t be necessary. I’ll be right back.”

After rinsing your hand with alcohol, covering the wound with the largest bandaid to ever exist, and balling your eyes out, you make your way back up. The Australian is drenched in sweat, huffing and puffing. “Got it,” he pants. Confused, you tilt your head to the side, but that’s when you pick out the nail in the palm of his hand. You blink, too bewildered to make sense of how he retrieved it without the help of a hammer. “I also found lots of old trophies. Extremely bittersweet.”

“Why’s that?” you hum, kneeling down next to him, reading through the labels. Each makes you more and more dazzled. 

A minute passes by. “Because I grew up.”

“That’s…sad.” Shrugging, he digs for more. He laughs loudly, throwing his head back. “Dear G—I forgot this even existed!”

Oscar’s 81 Things To-Do During the Summer [List]

Learn how to bike.

Learn the Australian National Anthem (Sophie will be beautifully impressed)

Get better at being more outgoing (Mum is worried)

So on and so forth. “You were an extremely creative lad. Eighty-one things to do…eh.” A tongue click. “Possibly buy a pet dragon?”

He cringes. “Not all were realistic. I actually never really got around to it. Mainly added, if anything.” 

Crimson red flashes. “I, um, I could tell.”

69. Oscar Piastri, you know what I mean.

The brunette chokes on his saliva, yanking it away as fast as he can. Standing up to his full height, he rolls up the piece of paper and points towards the exit. “I think I should, um…yeah. See ya.”

“Yeah.” He dashes off. “See you…”

-

Eighteen-year old Oscar was a horny bastard. But every guy that age is, so it’s not really fair to feel bad about his list. The writing is obviously his, but the things jotted down made him almost feel like it wasn’t. Blowjobs? Hand jobs? What was he thinking?

And then, there was you—a curious cat. He had to be a virgin; he just had to. Why else would he be embarrassed? You weren’t one to judge, though. You knew nothing about the sexual world, having never partaken. The thin band wrapped around your ring finger is enough proof. 

And no—you weren’t married.

It would have been absolutely diabolical to mention sex in your household growing up. Being Roman Catholics is no joke, believing religiously to wait until marriage. You never had a problem with that; you would wait. Doesn’t mean you didn’t know what any of the common terms meant. Sort of. 

Only now—for the first time in your life—there it was.

Temptation.

The McLaren driver was no newbie. He has had his fair share of experiences; before Lily, with Lily. He knew just about anything and everything. His good-boy act was no facade. At times he didn’t like that about himself, but it’s who he was. Obeyed the rules. Never crossed the line with anyone he wasn’t romantically linked to. And yet…

There you were.

The flowers were perfect; only needing to be watered. The cherry tree was much more…complicated. The chances of animals recklessly hunting for the sweet fruit was high, the chances of the red drupes rotting also was. Therefore, you spent most of your time there. 

Maybe you were avoiding him; you told yourself you were already horrified at the dirty thoughts taking over like the plague. And perhaps he was doing the same; he had only been locked in his room for the past three hours. 

Golden hour. With your hands on your hips, you squint, admire the polished drupes, tickling with water. Walking back to the bench, you lay down, picking up on your reading, occasionally taking sips from your Cherry Cola. 

Pacing the small bedroom, Oscar mutters to himself. Maybe she didn’t read all of it. Maybe she doesn't know what it means. Yeah—he was exaggerating. Clicking his window open, he gasped for needed air. As soon as he spots you reading, he grunts. 

White skirt brushes down your smooth legs, challenging the sun to see who shines the brightest. Lips wrap around the glass bottle, puckering in the slightest. And he wonders; would you taste as sweet as the cool beverage?

He’s a grown man; an adult. There’s no need to be uncomfortable. Sex was a part of everyone's day to day life. He was the one making it a bigger deal than it actually was. Still, he slips on a pair of sunglasses, perched perfectly onto the bridge of his nose. 

“Is it any good?”

His voice makes you flinch, dropping the book flat on your face. A tiny groan rings through the air. Flashing him a weak smile, you sit up straight, fixing your clothes. “Want one? There’s plenty in the fridge.”

He had noticed, of course he had. Never in a million years did he think he'd see his refrigerator stocked up with the sweet drink. He never cared enough to ask who they belonged to; figured they would just expire.

Wavy hair swings back and forth when he shakes his head. “Gotta keep in shape.” I see, you murmur, loopy eyes peeking over at him, taking another gulp. The sizzling feeling is utterly childish compared to what he’s making you feel. The burning sensation between your legs is annoying and painful, you almost want to plead for help. “I meant the book, by the way.”

“No!” You laugh, nervously. “I mean…it’s alright?”

After he stormed off and left you a breathless puddle, you biked and biked—until you hit the local bookstore. You weren’t looking for anything in particular, simply browsing, but as soon as you reached the section of Erotic Literature, you stopped. 

So many—many—wrong choices. Still, humiliated, you paid and fiercely ran out. Maybe this was some sort of punishment for reading what you’re reading; had to be. And Oscar asking questions wasn’t helping. Licking your berry lips, you swallow a thick layer. “What have you been up to?”

Fuck, he moans, large hand sliding up and down his cock; more and more pleasure intensifying. Your tiny dresses. Your short skirts. Your angelic face. The way your lips would separate before every sentence. Your sweet scent that would have normally given him a headache, but instead made him chase after you like a dog. 

Finishing all over his thighs, he shudders. White liquid never looked more sinister than at this very moment. After changing, he paces the room with regret. 

Pushing the frames further into his face, he hums. “Oh, you know. Just… cleaning up my room.”

-

It’s been a week in a half now and you’re happy to announce that you have fallen into a routine. While Oscar did his daily workout, you would make breakfast. While you worked on the garden, he cooked dinner. Though, he was unbeknownst over the way you would drool over him when he would walk out the door; a compressed shirt hugging his built body tightly, arms begging to be kissed. You were unaware of the way he would rub his face in desperation when you walked out, banging his head purposefully against the cabinet; the way you would skip out with your book and infamous drink, or how you would prettily tie up your hair before you even got started.

It was a mess.

A mocking mess.

This afternoon though, you aren’t flying out the door to the yard, but rather frolicking over to Ms. Alleck, ready to assist. I try my best, but they always wilt! Could it be the humidity? Laughing, you toss your hair up into a bun, messy strands poking out as you cock your head to the side. “Could be, but don’t you worry. We’ll find a way to make it work. Promise.”

He had always known you were kind, gentle, soft spoken…pure. And you doing this only added to his attraction. It’s salad, spaghetti, and salmon that afternoon. Sweaty, you pant. I’m going to squeeze in a shower real quick. But you weren’t sweaty, like you believe; you were glistening. 

“This is so cute,” you chirp, sitting cross cross in the old treehouse. A few spider webs make your blood run cold, but he quickly took care of it, apologizing. The brunette blushes. 

“I wanted to use it one last time. Before we get rid of it.” Neat brows furrow. “It’s just that it’s old—only a matter of time before it plunges down.” “What?” 

“O-obviously not now!”

After a bit more convincing, you finally relax and enjoy the way the crickets sing against the night. Small feet press against the wall, white tube socks turning slightly brown from the lack of sweeping. For a moment, he shuts his lids, breaths shallow, body loose. The high temperature almost made him feel as if he was cuddling into the warmest blanket; it felt nice. 

Whoops, you mumble when hollow glass pounds against the wooden floor. He perks up at the sound, brown eyes burning with high alert. “You do shit on purpose?” he screeches when he detects scarlet blood. Wincing in pain, you curl your hand towards the hem of your dress. 

“Help me,” you plead, slight annoyance written all over your face. He must’ve broken the world record of running into the house to retreat the first aid kit, and running right back to you. The way he sanitizes the skin, to the way he wraps your hand with a gauze pad, is honestly hilarious.

“What so funny?” he murmurs, attention never leaving the wound. 

“Mmm. Nothing.” He snickers and you giggle harder. “It just seems as if I’m making you a professional. You ought to be ready if anyone else needs your help to treat injuries.”

“Oh, of course. I’ll tell them a certain klutz made me learn from day to night with all her clumsiness.” His voice drops, laced with concern. “Seriously though—you were just healing. You have to be careful.”

Plump lips part with the sound of his delicate voice, accent almost disappearing. Wandering eyes admire the way his brows are knitted together and orbs soften. Swallowing, you nod. “I will.”

“Good.”

The once vibrant room is now hazy and suffocating. Does he not know what kind of effect he has on you? The type of power he holds? Oscar doesn’t seem to, though, with the way he chugs down his entire glass of water. Stuck in a trance, your hand briskly reaches out for your own drink. He roars with laughter, clutching his stomach. “You just broke your bottle, you don’t have a drink anymore.” He picked up the Cherry Cola you had offered, but he had declined. “Take mine.”

You don’t put up a fight, simply allow him to open and give it to you. The sweet drink doesn’t do a great job at hydrating your foaming mouth, but it helps as a distraction. On the other hand, the brunette can’t seem to not watch the ways your lips suck in and out, eagerly. As if this were the only source of air. He shudders. 

“We should probably head down…”

Wiping your lips with the back of your hand, you comply, already standing up. From the floor, he has a good view of your legs; long, soft, sweetly scented. He wonders if you use honey as lotion because that would explain his urge to nuzzle his face against them. Picking up the broken glass and plates, you turn back. “Coming?”

A sigh rings through the air once, and suddenly—he’s cradling your face with high intensity and lust, molding his lips against yours. Tomato sauce stains his shirt and your dress from the plates that still remain between you two. One second, you're wide eyed, and then the next, you're allowing yourself to kiss him back. 

You want to cry with how pleasant the feeling feels and he wants to scream with how much he wants to fuck you. But alas, one of you pulls away first—you can’t really tell who— and you’re both left gasping for air. Completely winded and fucked.

You both are fucked.

-

The treehouse comes crashing down the day after your first kiss. Yes, first kiss. You would like to blame him and say that he stole it from you, but the arousal that was dripping between your thighs last night was a clear indication that you could never actually say so because you liked it so much. 

The wooden house tearing down is something you take as a sign; you’ve sinned. Okay, maybe that was a bit too dramatic, but you were honestly thinking about it. That night you dreamt of the wildest things imaginable; his pretty face in between your legs, large hands squeezing your perky breasts, fingers swirling inside your velvety walls, cock tearing you in half.

It was unacceptable. 

So, while Oscar worked on picking up the tiles with a hometown buddy, you marched right over to beg for forgiveness. Kneeling down against the cushion, you say a silent prayer. 

I don’t want to think like this—not when I know I can help it, but God this is getting way too out of hand. And you know I’m not like this, you know that! But he just—AGH. Maybe it’s his personality that makes him so attractive, or maybe it’s his sudden growth spurt, but please let me get a hold of myself. He’s just a friend, he’s just a friend—HE’S JUST A FRIEND. 

“Would you mind keeping your words to yourself, sweetheart?” an older lady whispers, two rows ahead of you. 

Pink feathers onto your cheeks. “Oh, yes, of course! I’m so sorry…”

I don’t ever ask for much, no, that’s never been necessary, but I am now. So please. Hear me when I say: Push this desire I have, far, far, far away.

-

If you were to say, there was a ninety percent chance that you would walk away. Not even spare him a passing glance. He would call you out on it later, but whatever—too late. Ignored you, you say? No, really I did? I had no idea, I’ll make sure to not let it happen again!

If Oscar were to say, there was a ninety-nine percent chance that he would let you walk away. He didn’t need your company; he was doing just fine. But then again, that one percent tugs at him like the devil on his shoulder.

“Hey. You’re back.” Cool. Calm. Collected.

“Oh! I suppose I am.” Cool. Utter. Mess.

He grins, eyes crinkling like the leaves that hang upon the crimson tree. Signaling up, he cocks his head in deep thought. “Just finished. Cole said his uncle could shred…” A pause. “He owns a massive wood chipper.” 

Blinking like a deer in headlights, you chew on your bottom lip, simply nodding along. “Sounds good? I think. No. Yes. Very good.” You wince at all the uncontrolled mumbo-jumbo. “I’m sorry I was no help, too. I had to…talk to the man up above.”

“Eh, don’t worry about it. That must be why your pretty little knees are bruised.” 

Your breath comes to a harsh halt, ears burning like a wildfire. The Australian just keeps his brown eyes set on the tree for a second longer before turning to face you. Quickly, you relax your muscles. “You could make up for it by helping me with something else.”

You gulp. Suddenly, your mouth is overflowing with hot saliva. “With what?”

Dark orbs glue onto your delicate figure, a slight smirk playing out. And it looks so unfamiliar, not his own, that you create a distance. And just like that, it’s gone. Vanished just as fast as it slipped onto his pink lips. “Get on.” He crouches down and your jaw drops.

“Wha—like onto your shoulders?” Rolling his eyes in a goofy manner, he nods, picks you up safely, and places you on top. You screech, dizzy by the sudden altitude. “Put me down!”

“You’re fine. Just help me reach those. Been craving them all day,” he murmurs, voice raspy. The twenty-three year old is still slightly sweaty from his hard labor, and that’s clear when you cling onto his brown locks. Other than that, you’re as high as a kite; both figuratively and literally. 

You’ve known—seen—how tall and broad the Australian was, but being perched onto his wide shoulders was a sweet confirmation you couldn’t help but enjoy. “Move a bit forward.” He follows instructions, wide hands gripping onto your thighs to keep you steady. You giggle when a few fruits hit your face. “Watch it—and don’t you dare drop me.”

“Get,” he commands.

About three minutes pass by. You rip the cherries carefully, candy aroma filling the air, and plop them onto the basket. By all accounts, you’re well aware of your actions. The basket was full, now overflowing, really, and you could plant your ballet flats back onto the tall grass—but you don’t.

There’s something about feeling his touch; high electricity, shock waves nipping at your skin, soft pants. It’s pathetic how much you crave any ounce of physical touch he’s willing to give you, unknowingly.

“That should be good,” you whisper, meekly. He doesn’t respond, just swings you down as you let out a yelp. All of a sudden, you’re magically magnetic. And he wonders; if only. You hand the basket over, waiting nervously for him to thank you, at least. 

“Thank you,” he feels himself saying. “What do you say we play a little game? No prize. Only bragging rights.”

“O-okay.”

A singular cherry is handed over. He grins. Can you tie a knot using your tongue? “Wait—are you being serious?”

The red fruit dissolves inside his mouth, spitting the seed somewhere far enough away. Then, the stem flips into his mouth. “Come on. I’ll give you a head start.”

With wary hands, you rip the stem away from your own drupe, fitting the thin stick into your suddenly dry mouth. He stares intently, clenching his jaw, “Go on. Ten seconds.” Quickly, your lips start to move, twisting and turning. Pouting, then sucking back in. Your low breaths become heavy after a few tries. You think you’re getting it done right, the sudden ball forming is enough for you to guess that you must be doing something correct. 

The sound of his low mewls is what ends you. Doe eyes flicker up to face him, paying close attention to how his brown eyes wander up at the sky in concentration, occasionally squinting due to the bright sun. You can feel a thin layer of sweat hug you like a blanket as your movements slow down; a snail's pace compared to before.

For good measure, you fake your twists as you continue to simply admire. Too far gone, you blink hastily when he sticks his pink tongue out towards you, a stinking knot sitting nicely atop.

“I won.”

Gulp. “You sure did. Good job, Oscar.”

Long lashes flutter shut momentarily, head tossed back, sighing. “It wasn’t a fair fight. You weren’t doing anything. Other than staring at my lips.”

Flustered, you dig your hand into the bucket. “That’s not true! At all. At all, at all.” You munch harder, splitting a seed in half. You spit it out sourly. “You're just better at using your mouth than I am.”

It goes straight to his cock, your words. Opening his eyes, the brunette scrunches his nose. You’re avoiding his gaze. You’re good at doing that. A pro. But it leaves him to wonder some more. And that itself was dangerous when it dawned on him. 

He doesn’t like daydreaming anymore.

“Fuck it,” he grunts, kissing you harshly, like the night before. And you thought that blew your mind, but this? This left you gasping and reaching out for him even though he was pressed right against you. You could feel him buzzing, pinching your hips against his large hands. It’s perfect.

You don’t really understand how you end up straddling him on the grass, green straining your knees as you grind harder onto him, forcing your skin to burn with each stroke. This—this—must be as good as it gets. There can’t be more, but you weren’t complaining. It was enough. 

When his fingers dance underneath your dress, you halt, and everything comes crashing down. “No,” you pant. “I can’t. I’m sorry. I really am.”

“Why is that, baby?” he mumbles, lost on sucking the side of your neck. Looking up, his straight brows drew in together with concern. “What is it?”

“It’s just that…I’m—” Why is it so hard to admit? Brushing a strand of hair away, you purse your lips. “I’m a virgin, Oscar. It’s odd, I know, but I can’t sleep with you.”

“You think I didn’t know that?’

You freeze. “What?”

His thumbs circle your thighs, gently, swooning with how soft you feel. “I figured you were. Your purity ring sort of gave it away.” You blush hard, rolling off of him, playing with the thin band. 

“I wish I could do this—God, I really want to—but I can’t.”

Respecting your decision, he pats your hand with reassurance. The hot feeling remained between your legs and the pain between his. This was torture, you both know that, but what was there to do? It’s awkward for a while, that is, until he starts asking you about things that shouldn’t make you glow with happiness.

How was your day? I want to hear all about it. Do you think it’s bad to eat an entire bucket of drupes? Must be, right? In the long run? Hey, would you mind teaching me how to garden? You make it look intriguing. 

That seems to do it for you. Everything you ever promised flies out the window as you climb back onto his thick lap, and this time, he’s surprised by your actions. Clumsy fingers try their best to unzip his pants, but he only stutters against your kisses. N-no, we don’t have to rush anything. I, you, we—

“Shit, o-okay,” he sighs when you finally touch him, even in the slightest. He may be touch deprived, but so were you, so how far would any of this go? Flipping you over to lay against the tall grass, he winks teasingly and that effectively makes your heartbeat quicken. “Relax, sweetheart. Do that for me, yeah? Can you?”

“Yes. Yes. Yes.” 

The McLaren drivers press a kiss on the inside of your thighs before licking them. You shiver, though try your best to even your breaths. You shut your eyes, maybe if you act hard enough, you could somehow convince yourself that this wasn’t a war itself. To see how long you’d last. No—you would last. You had to.

“I’ve thought about it.” He slips your panties down, inch by inch. “A lot, as of lately. If you would taste just as sweet as I imagined. As sweet as those Cherry Cola’s you're overly obsessed with.” And he dives in, licking your arousal clean as you pant, chest heaving up and down like an erupting volcano. 

What were you supposed to feel—relaxed? In a frenzy? Most likely the latter because considering the way he was making your head spin said it all. The sounds he’s making forces you to involuntarily shut your legs around his face and his hand that now lies between you two. The stretch is a burning sensation that leaves you both gasping and moaning; it’s too much, but not enough.

More. Grinning up from in between your legs, he shakes his head full of curls, all thanks to the Aussie weather, and your dirty foreplay. “Does it feel good?” You whimper. “Good—good, baby. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.” Velvet walls clench around his long digits. “Hey, hey, look at me.”

Once your soft orbs connect to his intoxicating ones, his cock grows harder. “Okay, listen, it’s going to hurt a little bit, okay? But that’s completely normal; it’s like a…a stingy feeling. Do you understand?” I do, you pant. He grits his teeth when his calloused fingers brush against your g-spot and your head lolls back, exposing your sharp clavicle. He itches to mark you all over. “Do you want it, then?”

A zing. “Fuck, Oscar. I fucking want you.”

The brown eyed boy is all over you, kissing you up and down, gripping you tighter. It was an addiction in its truest form. For a split second, you frown when he slips out of you, but as soon as he starts unzipping his pants, you feverishly lick your lips. 

It dawns on you that you aren’t scared, nervous, or anything; you’re bubbling with excitement. You watch carefully as he jerks himself off a bit, his already large girth growing bigger. How is that possible? “I’ll start with the tip.” Leaning down, he pecks your pouty lips and you smile. “Let me know if it’s too much, we’ll stop and take a break. Or do anything, really,” he adds, cheekbones flushing red. 

“I’ll be okay,” you whisper. “I swear.”

You were being skinned alive, it was excruciating pain. You know he notices it when he starts brushing your hips, hoping to comfort you in some sort of way. Heavy breaths, numb lips from biting too hard, exposed breasts arching straight for him. He didn’t know whether to enjoy this or worry. 

“Breathe, darling, breathe. In through your nose, out through your mouth. There you go,” he congratulates, admiring your shaky breath. “You’re doing so good.”

“Osc, move…please.”

There was no more confirmation necessary that you were ready to go. His hips find motion, thrusting into you slowly. Nails scratch down his back as you moan loudly, almost yelping. “Y-you’re so big.” So, so, so, so big.  “So good.”

Nearly animalistic, he releases a grunt, pounding deeper into you, getting lost with the way you hug him tightly. You mewl, pressing your naked chest against his, and he nearly slips from his hands being set on top of the cold grass, but it was beautiful torture, all at once. 

From the way you tremble, to the way you look up at him, he loves it all. He realized it been too long, he’s missed this, he’s missed having a body undeaneath his, as fucked up as that sounds. 

And he—he must be a saint, himself. There’s a sort of invisible halo that lightens up around him, nearly blinding you. There’s a gut-wrenching stare he’s gifting you, making your stomach churn with pleasure. 

Wrapping his mouth around your sore buds, you let out a shaky sigh. Skillful tongue swirls the way one would suck on a lollipop; the heat intensifies. “Close?” But you’re not sure, you just know it feels good—ridiculously good. He must have known so, and must want to make your first experience the best you’ll ever have, because suddenly, you’re on all fours. 

As he slips in and out with such ease, you grip harshly at the tall grass. You can hear the sad rips with every thrust and every tug, but how can you feel bad when he feels so good? His cock rapidly brushes the magic spot, and you’re left seeing stars. “Oh God. I feel it, Oscar, fuck, fuck, fuck—”

“Tell me. Describe it.”

Your jaw locks, and your arms give up, flying down towards the grass, round ass high up in the air as he continues his movements. He groans at the sight, slapping your sweaty skin. Whining, you look back at him, grinning from ear to ear. The Australian looks up at the open sky, trying his best to push back the feeling of his upcoming orgasm, but it's hard to ignore the fact that an absolute angel takes him like no other.

And an Angel you were.

“Can feel your cock, Oscar. The way it pulses—so thick, so veiny, so sweet.”

An Angel with a vocabulary of Heathen.

“God, fuck me harder, please, Oscar, please.” He’s pretty sure you’re half-gone, half-present, but it only adds to the lust he carries for you. Just then, you feel the fresh cherry pressed up against your lips. Open, he demands and you follow straight away, ripping it from its stem. You nearly choke on the seed when he suddenly speeds up, limbs and arms burning from holding upright. For a moment, you stare back with an open mouth, admiring over the way his abs contract with every brutal push.

“Now spit.” Two seeds fly out towards the grass, laying there to taunt you as you pick up on your moans, ringing through the air. If you squint hard enough, you can spot the stars that mock the daylight sky. It doesn’t make sense, but then again, none of this does. “So pretty, sweetheart.” You swoon, feeling his arms hold you down. “Again—open.”

You’re expecting another set of cherries, thinking this might be some sort of prize, but as soon as you feel the familiar stick, you pout. No, you cry out. He chuckles. “Yes.” A pause. “You only get to come until you tie a knot.”

“You’re not being f-fair, holy shit.” Long fingers rub slowly against your puffy clit, throbbing with pain, begging to come all of his numbing girth. You clench your jaw, eyes screwed shut.

“We don’t have all night, go on. Move that pretty little mouth of yours.”

It’s a mission, it’s a task, it’s a fucking wreck. It’s impossible. You’re not that surprised, though, not when he thrusts into with twice as much force, triple speed; what a man. Loose tongue swirls at a weak attempt, but then he pinches your swollen bud, and you’re back to square one. You’re nearly there, excited to prove to him how much you wanted this and how you were able to multitask, but then he’s pulling all the way back, only his rosy tip awaiting by your entrance, and he’s coming back down, full-throttle. 

It was cruel.

But two can play that game, you suppose.

You pull away quickly, he blinks, and then you’re pushing him back, sprawled on the grass. He nearly whines from missing your warm cunt, but as soon as you climb to sit on his face, he grows more and more turned on. “Go on,” you push. “Use that pretty little tongue of yours.”

Dark eyes stare up at you, enjoying the way your body moves, hips rolling, riding his face at an impressive rate. The white nectar you're willing to spill out makes him lap at an embarrassing speed, desperate to taste the sweetness. 

Meanwhile, you’re gripping his hair, trying to feign indifference with the way his nose rubs against your lips, the way he keeps you in place with his watch covered hand, the other playing with your clit. It’s even, this is fair, but you still needed to reach your end. 

“I’m close,” you moan, head rolling back, but jaw continuing to tick. He hums and the vibrations cause you to squeeze your legs around his face. That seems to make him enjoy this far more. Unless you show me you’ve done it, then no, you’re not coming anytime soon. Your molars grind harder, white spots forming throughout your vision. “Shut up, just—fucking stop talking.”

“What do y’know? Miss Perfection has a potty mouth.” He pokes his tongue against your hole. “Dirty girl, eh?”

With one final suck, and one soft moan, you cum all over him. The Australian is quick to lick you clean, groaning pathetically deep. Gasping, you fall from your climax, slightly twitching with sensibility as he hauls you onto his lap. You giggle when he raises a teasing brow. 

“You got away with it—this time.”

“There’s going to be a second time?”

He stiffens, trying to play it cool. “Well, not anymore, you didn’t do what I asked for you to do—”

Opening your mouth, you stick your red tongue out, displaying the most perfect knot. He gapes, sticking his fingers in to retrieve it. “H-how?” A beat, sharp and accusing eyes. “Seriously, how?”

“Does it matter?” you ask, wide eyes back on for show. “I did it.”

“I…yeah, yeah you did,” he repeats in disbelief. He laughs. “You’re wickedly talented. That's an art.”

“Thanks,” you mumble, slowly, mixed with a giggle. “I tried my best for you.”

“I see that.” The brown eyed boy pinches your hip. “How was it?”

Sighing dreamily, as if napping on a cloud, your eyes twinkle. “I get it now. Why people have casual sex, I mean. It was amazing. Thank you.”

Casual, casual, casual, yes. Of course this was casual, why wouldn’t it be casual? He’s not looking to have anyone new in his life, and you’re barely understanding what any of this is, so yeah. Casual. 

“Was I bad?” you ponder, chewing on your bottom lip. “I know I’m no professional, but I—”

“You were perfect,” he reassures with a soft smile. “Best thing to come around, solemnly swear.” Swatting his arm, he snickers, catching your hand. You purse your lips. “I was right,” he murmurs when his lips graze over your own. You open your mouth, waiting for more.

“About?”

“You tasting as sweet as a Cherry Cola.” Then he connects your lips, and you’re left utterly smitten. You can hardly feel him slip your ring off, but you know so when your finger feels empty since the moment you first put it on. “Guess you won’t be needing this anymore?”

“Guess not, no. Keep it.”

“Could take it to a Pawn Shop, sell it for a couple dollars…”

“Hey! Be nice, you dimwit,” you warn. “You should feel special. Stupidly special.”

“I’m kidding. I’ll cherish it.”

“Creep.”

He groans, slapping your ass as you squeal. “There’s no right or wrong answer, it seems like. Very well, let's just leave it at thanks. So…thank you for trusting me.” You blush, looking away. Awkwardly, you reach for your dress, slipping it over your head. He coughs, dressing himself before choking back a much needed chuckle. “Looks like we got dragged through the mud.”

“Ah, ew, I can’t. I need to shower.” 

Reaching your end of the hallway, you press your back up against the wooden door as you sheepishly giggle when Oscar does the same. “Okay then…see you around?” 

“Around town?”

“Around the house.”

“In the garden?”

“In the attic, too, maybe. It still needs a good sweep.”

He rolls his eyes. “Do we still have time?”

“Before your parents get back from Costa Rica?”

“Yes.”

“Which is in—”

“A week.”

“Which is—”

“Seven days.”

“And roughly…”

“Enough time.”

“Enough time to do what?”

He laughs, eyes crinkling suggestively, and your heart pounds hard against your ribcage. “Come here and I’ll show you.”

“Yeah,” you ponder in deep thought before your lips stretch out into a bright smile of your own. He raises dark brows as you scurry over with bruised knees, a muddy dress, and an exploding heart. “Yeah, okay. Just until they get back.”

taglist: @blueflorals @starmanv @coolio2195 @lovrsm @weekendlusting@chanshintien @brune77e @myownwritings @timmychalametsstuff @milasexutoire@alesainz @c-losur3 @darleneslane @togazzo @urfavnoirette @namgification @lpab @d3kstar @anniee-mr @nebarious

[minkdelovely]

hands on

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Alastor x Fem!Reader ; MDNI 18+

tags/warnings: smut lite, chest fluff worship, reader on top ❤️‍🔥

word count: 568

author’s note: this was a little gift for @hazelfoureyes and @sugoi-writes based off this delicious fan art from @rib_roast_a5 on twitter. it didn’t feel quite right to keep it to ourselves, so here’s a steamy blurb for your enjoyment! i promise i’m not trying to push a hand kink agenda either… 😅

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Eternity was generous in moments like this. You had lost track of time, seconds passing like the listless rhythm of a leaky faucet.

Drip…

Drop.

Tick…

Tock.

It was a rare gift in Hell, and one that you never took for granted. Committing it all to your memory for safekeeping.

You had been riding him for quite some time, the need overcoming the two of you so suddenly you had hardly undressed after making it back to your room. You recalled how poised Alastor had still managed to look kicking his shoes off and removing his coat — and how sinful he looked pulling off one of his gloves with his teeth.

Though nothing could beat the expression on his face when you tore open his shirt before impaling yourself on his lap.

He still had the same intense look in his eyes, searing you with hunger and fascination as you fucked yourself on him. A wolfish grin on his lips and claws digging into the flesh of your hips as your fingers gripped and pulled at the tufts of hair on his chest. Heady pants and moans spilling easily from your open mouth as you maintained eye contact, your walls clenching around Alastor’s length as you saw dark blood fall down his chin in your peripheral. He often did this, quite literally biting back the sounds of his own pleasure in his desire to absorb all you had to give.

All that he could claim.

“Enjoying yourself, dearest?”

The question came out through gritted teeth and shortened breath. A thick swallow and drawn brows betraying his effort to remain stoic after a particularly salacious roll of your hips.

Reflexively, you grabbed handfuls of the hair on his pectorals from the strained sound of his voice, earning you a shaky groan that you could feel under your fingers; the vibration seeming to travel through them straight to your cunt, dousing his cock in more of your arousal. The wet sounds of your laps meeting only tightening the hot coil in your belly.

“Mhmm,” is all you manage to respond, nodding your head in emphasis as you switched from bouncing to grinding. Relishing the ache of him pressing deep into your core and crying out as Alastor began to thrust up into you, finally reciprocating a need for friction.

Another rumble from his clenched jaw as he matched your rhythm while you massaged circles on his chest. Humming at how good the plush, soft hair felt between your fingers.

Suddenly Alastor shifted his weight, putting it all on his shoulders as his legs bent up, slamming his hips into you as you fell forward from the force of it. Your wanton screams now muffled by the hair that your digits had been tangled in only seconds before. There was barely any time to process the switch before your orgasm washed over you, your muted cries harmonizing with the deep groan caused by his own release.

Alastor hummed as he felt your heavy breath hot against him, right over his rapidly beating heart. Your fingers lazily curled around tendrils of his chest hair while he pet your back as he slowly pulled out. Unable to fight the relaxed, pleased smile that spread across his face as you whined from the loss and nuzzled his chest when a thought came to mind.

“Don’t think I’ve forgotten that you owe me a shirt.”

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tag list: @fairyv-ice, @wat4r, @midorichoco, @raynerrold, @krak-jj, @tremendoushearttaco, @redfoxwritesstuff, @chibistar45, @kaylopolis, @cutiebimbo, @lousypotatoes, @rfox1998, @cosmiccandydreamer, @stardustandbrimstone, @cherry-cola-100, @wonderlandangelsposts, @catticora, @velvette3, @sailorsmouth, @alastorthirsty, @reath-solia, @junieshohoho, @cxrsedwxrlds, @fraugwinska, @littlebluefishtail

[imnameimswrld]

╰┈➤ ❝ [𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐂𝐨𝐥𝐚 || 𝗠𝗩𝟭 ꒱꒱

━━ ❪ . . . max x driver!reader ❫

━━ ❪ . . . description : in which a simple can of cherry cola changes the whole dynamic of a pair of rivals relationship ; ❫

━━ ❪ . . . rivals-to-lovers imagine ❫

━━ ❪ disclaimers : fluff, kissing ❫

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

past...

"Hey Max, could you grab me-"

"The day I bring you a Cherry Cola, L/N, is the day I succumb to your charms," my brows drop at the twinkle in his baby blues that always appears when he knows he pisses me off.

"And that day," his smirk causes an annoyed eye roll to feature in my gaze. "Is not today, Y/n."

🍒 🍒 🍒

present time...

"Hey, where's Y/n ?" Mick all but rushes out to one of the engineers in the Alpha Tauri paddock, Charles right behind him, both boys sporting deep stress lines in their foreheads.

Although highly confused, the engineer still points to the back with his spanner, and in a flash the two boys are sprinting through the ruckus. By the time they shove opens Y/n's door, both are panting, Mick using the door for support as Charles leans against the doorframe beside him.

Tired, but the sight of you, in one piece with a cup Ramen in hand as you lounge on the sofa in your room, rains sweet relief over them.

"Oh merci mon Dieu," the one in red looks up with his hands clasped in thanks, trudging in with a huff as Mick shuts the door behind them.

You furrow your brows and hit pause on the Netflix show playing on your laptop. "Uh...hi ?"

Mick and Charles flank your sides, the former removing your laptop so he could sit a little closer. Their gazes feel strange today, as if inspecting you, trying trying read whatever could be running through your head. It was making you lose you appetite.

"Is there something wrong, guys ?"

"Not sure, you tell us Y/n." Mick counters, tilting his head at you, making you reel back and into your leather couch.

"You guys are being weirder than normal-"

"We hears about the announcement Y/n !" Mick shoots Charles a look, their plan of coaxing the situation out of you now long gone. "You're going to Redbull ?!"

Now your appetite is completely gone.

Setting your half-eaten cup of ramen in your lap, your drag a warm hand through your hair, sighing heavily. You assumed everyone on the grid knows now, instead of just the few people that attending the Redbull meeting just a few minutes ago. The news only hits the public next week, which gives you some time before the heat packs on from fans. Everyone will most probably be stunned since most people thought the person that would be at the current Wordl Champions side would be someone like Alex; who's won more races in their F1 career.

Instead, they chose you. Why, Christian hadn't been all that specific except for "Your potential is a striking quality you possess, Y/n,".

"So what's got your two so worried ?" you ask, a slight accusatory hint to your tone. Not that you'd think they would, they're your best friends, but there's always that underwhelming feeling of the guys on the grid not respecting you as much as they would a man.

"We were worried Max got to you first."

"Thought he would chew you out for going from his rival to his teammate." Charles adds, his fingers sweeping a few strands of your hair from your eyes and behind your ear.

Max...

He's been your rival since your Karting days. Every race you'd be neck-in-neck with him. That only really changed when you joined F1, and since then you've been far behind since his car was just always better. The rivalry turned bitter when he'd rub his success in with smirks and taunts. Then, bouncing from Haas to Alpha Tauri, your chances were looking up. Your car wasn't as fast as Redbull's, but it gave you a fighting chance. Still, you were always just short of a podium, everytime.

But something changed. Last week, you stood on the P3 podium, your first ever in your Formula 1 career, and the cheers... it was all so surreal. In the celebrations of spraying champaign that momentarily hindered your vision as chunks of droplets coated your lashes, you felt a pair of strong arms round your waist and spin your around. Charles laugh reached your ears and you joined, before he set you down and pulled you in for another tight embrace.

It was then, for the first time ever, that you caught sight of a smile on Max's face over Char's shoulder. A real smile. And it was for you. You'd never received anything but smirks and verbal jabs, and vis versa really, but a genuine smile ? You could've sworn you imagined it – until later that day, when you were alone in your room in the paddock, toweling your damp, sticky hair. There was a soft knock to your door, and you granted access, still widely attacking your hair with the towel.

"Y/n."

You froze. There was an unrecognizable tone in his voice, not his usual mocking one. Dropping the towel, you stare at the blonde, blue-eyed man in your doorway. Max's eyes flick up, and there's suddenly a humorous glint in them. You then realise how outrageous your hair must've looked.

Bringing a hand up, an embarrassing tint painting your cheeks, you do your best to smooth down the chaos. A strange noise leaves Max's lips, and when your eyes whip to look at him, he's...laughing.

Another thing you've never seen before.

"Uh, earth to Y/n."

A knock following Mick's words pull you from your deep thoughts, and all three of your heads turn to stare at the door.

"Come in."

Slowly, the swings open, the hinges groaning slightly. The doorway reveals a oddly nervous looking Max.

You could feel the boys on yours sides stiffen, and Mick sits forward slightly, his shoulders tense as he stares down Max. It's quiet, no one saying anything, and you take the opportunity to roam your gaze over him. It always annoyed you how drawn to his looks you were. His baby blue eyes always shining in the light, his blonde hair always seeming so soft to touch.

Dropping, you eyes widen at what his hands hold. A soft, almost inaudible gasp leaves your lips.

"Y/n, can we talk, please ?" Max's voice is the softest you've ever heard it. It's impossible to deny.

"Yeah," Mick rounds his head to stare at you the same time Charles does, but you send them both reassuring smiles. Nodding in okay, both boys stand, still very hesitant. You do a better job smiling this time, showing that you had no problem being alone with the Dutch. That seemed to make their shoulders less tough, and slowly, they make the leave. You don't miss the skeptical glare Mick hands Max on his way out.

Once gone, Max closes the door behind him, and you indicate with a hand towards the empty spot next to you. His smile doesn't reach his eyes like that day on the podium, but obliges. The feel of his presence so close makes your breath stutter, and your heart beat just a little faster.

You do your best to meet his gaze, but the glossy red can in his hands just steals all your attention.

Max doesn't seem to know what to say, as if he just came here completely unprepared. His thumb tags softly against the can, and the action allowed you to read the words on the can.

Another gasp, and your gently pulling the can from his hold. Turning the cold can in your hand, you fight back a smile.

Cherry Cola.

You look up, and your breath catches when Max is a lot closer than he was before. His eyes shine with nervous, pupils bouncing between yours, and your parted lips.

"Max..."

His gaze burns into yours at the sound of his name being so softly uttered from your lips. A nervous bundle of your own settles in your stomach, so you break his gaze as you open the can of Cola in your hands. You can feel intense eyes follow your every move, all the way to while you set the can against your lips and tip it for a sip.

The sweet, sugary cherry taste coats your tongue, and a delighted hum sounds in your throat. Max's eyes are fixated on your now wet lips, staring eagerly. You're too afraid to cross that line yourself, and you sit still, silently praying that Max takes that leap for the both of you. He's hesitant, until the urge is just too strong and he can practically smell the cherry on your breath.

He needs a taste.

Your breath gets stolen completely when a pair of soft lips enclose around yours, tongue prodding for entrance in a instant. Wrapped up in all that Max is you grant entrance, and the way his tongue dominates your mouth, tasting everything it has to offer, an involuntary moan escapes.

If it wasn't for the same sound Max let's out, you would've been embarrassed.

Strong hands grasp your cheeks, warm on your skin, and no part of you wants to pull away, until a thought pops into your head. Max's lips are chasing yours when you pull away, the smell of cherries thick in the air between the two of you.

"I thought you hated Cherry Cola."

Max's stares at your lips for a moment, before gazing up into your eyes. The softest look you've ever seen in them now lives there.

"And yet, trust I'll be drinking it more since it'll be reminding me of this moment."

[everythingisromant1c]

Take Me Out (to the Ball Game)

james potter x reader

summary - in which you take your very platonic friend James out to his first baseball game to enjoy its many festivities, including but not limited to: the kiss cam.

type - one shot

wc [2.5k]

tags: James Potter x reader, friends to lovers, muggle!reader, fluff, baseball game date, kiss cam, and one very unexpected first kiss.

a/n: i am not an avid baseball enthusiast so if there's any terminology mistakes i apologize <33 happy reading! (check this out on my ao3!)

Your first order of business that summer was getting a very sheltered James into your world, or, the muggle world, as he liked to call it. You'd had the honor of taking him to his first muggle movie, bringing him on his first muggle shopping spree, and having him try a Slurpee for the first time—you'd discovered he liked Coca-Cola and Cherry the best.

The last thing on your list of activities was to take him to his first baseball game. By the time the afternoon had come, you'd done just that.

You settled into one of the upper-level infield seats after James so graciously offered to pay for the tickets and practically everything else the entire day, even with all your resisting. He hadn't held back with his spending, both of your hands tucked underneath foam fingers, with a baseball helmet full of buttery popcorn sitting on your lap.

James looked so in his element from beside you, wearing the baseball jersey you'd pointed out in the merchandise section on your way into the stadium, his hair lightly shifting in the warm summer breeze. He looked roguishly handsome in what he classified as 'muggle clothing' to you with a harmless roll of his eyes, but you selfishly loved the sight. Though, more than anything, he seemed like he was enjoying himself, and that was what mattered most to you.

"What's that?" You watched as James pointed a foam finger up diagonally towards what looked like just the blue afternoon sky, until you followed his line of vision to the large screen in the distance. You let a thin smile overtake your features at his curiosity.

"That's the Jumbotron." You picked up a piece of popcorn and threw it into your mouth, James shaking off his foam finger and stealing a handful from the bowl on your lap with a lopsided grin.

"The jumbo what?"

You held back your laugh. "The jumbotron. It's a big screen they put at sports stadiums. Like a TV, only a lot bigger."

James squinted from beside you. "Who wants to watch a 'TV' when they're at a baseball game?"

The corners of your eyes crinkled at the way the word 'TV' sounded so foreign from his lips, and you shook your head. "It's not actually a TV. They show what's going on in the game on a big screen so everyone can see it. But they use it for other stuff too. Sometimes they'll have interactive games or use it as a kiss cam."

"A kiss cam?" James only sounded more confused then, his brows pulling together, but that time around the corners of his lips were quirking up with amusement.

You couldn't help your laugh at his intrigue. You shook your head to yourself. "It's kind of a dumb tradition, really." He nodded at you to continue, eyes sweet. "Basically, when the kiss cam comes on, the cameramen find random people in the audience and put them on the screen. Whoever comes up on the screen is meant to kiss."

 You watched James's features curl into both amusement and horror. He blinked his warm eyes at you. "So they just go around making strangers kiss each other?"

You giggled. "Not strangers," you chided. "It usually only lands on couples."

"How are they supposed to know who's a couple and who's not?"

You shrugged. "I suppose you can always just kind of tell." Looking away from him and his incredulous stare and down at your lap, you set your bowl of popcorn in James's lap instead. "I'm gonna use the bathroom."

James took a light hold of your wrist as you stood up, sitting up straighter in his seat to look up at you. "Do you want me to come with you?"

"No, that's alright," you told him. "You should watch our seats." You turned around towards the stairs to your left but paused to turn around one last time. "And tell me what I missed once I get back."

James tipped his head at you, saluting you playfully, and you smiled before leaving. You were more than satisfied with how the day was going and let your smile creep up on your lips the entire way to the restroom and back. You returned after a few minutes, having to scan the sea of baseball fans for the head of unruly brown curls you were so familiar with. You found him after a quick beat when he turned around, waving you over as his features lit warmly. You made your way down the concrete steps, scooting your way past a few people before finding your seat again.

"What'd I miss?" you asked, settling into the plastic chair underneath you as James held up the almost empty bowl of popcorn for you to take some. You did, and you didn't miss the way he placed his arm around the back of your seat carefully, his body heat emitting even underneath the summer sun.

"Nothing much," James answered casually. "But one of the guys hit the ball all the way into the stands."

Your eyes widened comically as you sat up to face him. "You mean he hit a home run?"

James paused momentarily at your reaction, and it was like you could visibly see him tracing through all the baseball vocabulary you'd gone over with him at the start of the game. "I think so."

"What team was it?"

He blinked at you and your probably anxious tone, panicking as he shrugged. "You think I know the names?"

You tipped your head at him amusedly as you took a breath in. "What color was the guy wearing?"

"Uh, maybe blue?" At that, you nodded happily, facing forward again. "Or maybe it was black. I don't have my glasses on."

You looked over at him exasperatedly but still felt the urge to laugh. You nudged him in the shoulder when you could see he felt badly for his scorekeeping skills, or lack of them. "It's alright. We can just check the scoreboard."

He seemed to calm at that, following your line of vision out into the field, when he paused. "Hey, isn't that the kiss cam you were talking about?"

You shifted your gaze to his nodding head, and then over the Jumbotron, and saw with familiarity that it was, in fact, time for the kiss cam. Lighthearted music played in the background as the larger-than-life screen lit up, pink hearts surrounding it and serving as a border to the people the screen displayed.

"Oh my God, it is," you breathed, lightly hitting James on the knee a few times in excitement. He chuckled from beside you, both of your eyes locking on the screen with interest as it pointed itself to different couples around the stadium. A few older couples were displayed, one pair of teenagers probably on a date, and a mother and father whose kids were cringing from beside them, but all of them turned to kiss the other without a word in protest, the stands applauding each time.

You smiled fondly, turning to the man beside you. "See James, it's not creepy. It's sweet, isn't it?"

"Yeah yeah," he placated with a playful roll of his eyes. "You're such a romantic."

You dropped your jaw for a moment before pointing a finger at his chest accusatorially. "As if you're not one, Potter."

The sides of his mouth lifted up into a charming grin and he pulled you into his side, ruffling your hair. You scrunched up your features, pushing away from him as you shot him a glare without any real annoyance, feeling your cheeks ache from your smile.

Shaking your head, you turned away from James and back towards the field, but stopped moving almost right away. Your heart stilled in your chest.

"Oh my God."

At your words, James turned worriedly from you to look where you were. When his gaze landed on the Jumbotron, his face lit up.

Stating the obvious, you swallowed. "It's showing us."

James looked between you and the ginormous screen across the field that was showing both you and him from where you sat, and beamed as the crowd began to clap and whoop. He waved out at the screen like the extrovert he was, looking like he was enjoying himself way too much as you stayed frozen in your seat.

When the camera didn't pan away and the crowd became louder, he turned to you, speaking out of the side of his mouth. "They don't seem very happy."

You shook your head, tone strained. "They want us to kiss, James."

You looked up at the screen that showed the two of you, watching your shocked and quite frankly mortified expression reflected back to you, almost funny in comparison to James's glowing smile.

"Well, let's give the people what they want."

Your head snapped over to a calm James as your brows tugged. "Wh-" you sputtered. "We can't do that."

"Why not?" James questioned, and when he looked back out at the crowd with his bright expression they began roaring excitedly. "It's the kiss cam!"

"The kiss cam is for couples." You emphasized the word, looking around at the people seated around you who couldn't only see you but hear you. You lowered your voice insecurely. "We're not a couple."

"It doesn't seem like they care." James gestured back to the screen, pink hearts now outlining the image of both of you from afar, an almost satirical sight that left you reeling.

You looked back down at your lap, and then at James pointedly. "That's because they think we're a couple."

Though, when you looked up at the screen, you couldn't ignore the fact that the two of you sort of did look like a couple. With James's arm thrown over the back of your seat, and the way you were both subconsciously sitting on the insides of your seats and leaning into each other, the mistake wasn't totally non-understandable. The fact only made heat rise to your cheeks.

James shook his head as his smile stayed plastered on his face, and you sighed. The Jumbotron was somehow still displaying the two of you, and the stands were still loud in anticipation. Like the supervillain you were, you shook your head back and forth. When they began to boo, you gestured between you and James, mouthing repeatedly "We're friends!", though the crowd didn't seem to care. You could hear James snorting from next to you.

Finally, even with the stands still roaring, the camera panned away to display the next couple—not that you and James were one—and you felt like you could finally breathe again.

"Jesus," you huffed, feeling like you'd just run some sort of marathon, and James shook his head at you fondly. For some reason you found it much too difficult to look him in the eyes, so you kept your eyes trained on the field.

When you felt the shifting of his shoulders from next to you followed by uneven breathing, you snapped your head to look at James. "Are you laughing at me?"

"No!" he swore, innocently putting his hands up, though the amused smirk on his lips didn't try to hide itself.

You sighed, ignoring the man to your right and turning back to face the field again, but you regretted that choice right away when you saw your reflection staring back at you through the Jumbotron once again.

"Oh my God," you swore again as the stands rumbled with encouraging shouts. This time around, you were quick to hide your face in James's chest. You didn't need to look up at him to know that he was still unbothered by the whole situation, feeling the way his chest lifted softly up and down with laughter from beneath you.

"Who the hell is controlling this thing?" Your panicked words came out muffled into James's baseball jersey. Whether he understood them or not, he put his hand around your shoulder, rubbing at it soothingly.

"I thought you said they were sweet," he challenged, and when you pulled away from him again he had a shit-eating grin on his face.

You pursed your lips, turning to look up at the Jumbotron and the pink hearts surrounding you and James, and the crowd went somehow even louder. At the absurdity of it all, you let a laugh escape you, looking down at your lap.

"Come on," James cooed, his arm still on your shoulder comfortingly. "What's the harm?"

You glanced up at him and his eyes, warm like honey, and stopped to think to yourself. Really, what was the harm?

When you didn't say anything, James looked between the stands and you. Then he leaned forward until he was level with your nervous face, voice going soft. "Alright," he gave in. "We don't have to if you're uncomfortable."

You chewed at the inside of your cheek as James turned away again towards the crowd, waving his hand at the camera as if to say 'Move on.' They only booed and kept on shouting.

You couldn't identify the feeling growing in your chest, but you knew it was a new feeling. You looked up at the Jumbotron and at your and James's reflections in it—truly looking the part of a 'couple'—and at the people in the stands that seemed to beckon to you, and then at James. He looked good—too good. His jawline was sharp and stern as he looked out at the crowd, lashes fanning against his face effortlessly, and his unruly hair shined perfectly in underneath the sun. Worst of all, you recognized just how much you missed the grin that'd been on his face all day, and wanted to see it nothing more than to see it again.

You didn't know what had come over you, when you said, "Screw it," but the words came out low enough that it came as a surprise to James when you reached out a hand to his cheek.

He turned to look at you with little effort on your part, surprise taking over his features before it shifted into amused interest, pink lips curling up as he looked down at you.

You were nervous under his gaze, and surely the thousands of others that were observing all of this through the jumbo screen, but his seemed like the only one that mattered in that moment. Before you could grow too nervous and chicken out, you closed the distance between you with a hand on the back of his neck.

Sparks flittered through you right away, starting from your lips and rushing through the rest of you. The way the entire stadium roared in the background, the sound meeting your ears like the crash of a symbol, had your cheeks heating and your lips curving up in a smile.

You felt James's boyish grin pressing against your lips, growing as you tugged at the hair by the nape of his neck, and you loved the feeling.

When you finally pulled away, you felt out of breath. You knew it didn't help that the kiss cam was still pinned on you, but the way James was looking down at you certainly wasn't helping either. His eyes raked over your face with wonder, cheeks flushed, his lips a deepened pink color from the pressure of the kiss, but he didn't look like he minded.

"Wow," he said, and you fought the urge to hide your face in his neck at his breathlessness. "You should take me to baseball games more often."

Your own face flushed at his words, his voice husky as he said them. You tipped your head at him and shrugged happily, feeling braver than you had all morning. "Maybe I should."

[kiachiako]

stars, moons, & other celestial bodies | j.jh

pairing | jaehyun x female!reader

synopsis | With your fizzy drinks and vinyls in tow, you’re determined to make the most of your summer before the start of your first year at university. Everything’s seemingly perfect; humid afternoons with your closest friends, late-night mixers at your local alumnis' estates, and sleeping in to ungodly hours. What you didn’t predict, however, was your brother making the early trip home to surprise you with a certain someone — namely, his best friend since childhood — following closely behind. His unexpected appearance throws you off, and suddenly, your summer is filled to the brim with his presence. You’re finally able to taste the idea of mature love, but is it really all that it’s made out to be?

content | brother!taeyong, retro-themed au, angst, fluff, coming of age, language warning, suggestive, mentions and consumption of alcohol/drugs

wc | 26.7k

song | delicate — taylor swift

a/n | for @hyuckmov and @rrxnjun, who kept me sane while writing this monster :D

...

The first week of summer before your freshman year of university is defined by sticky ‘n sweet cherry cola, rides around the abandoned carousel with your friends, and “borrowing” quarters out of your brother’s Cadillac to insert into the jukebox of the local diner; break has been this way since as long as you could remember. It's a familiar itinerary, one that plays back routinely every school break.

You’ve grown up without even realizing, your teenage days spent juggling academic work and getting into stupid situations with Mark and Chaewon trickling down to a close. This conclusion really hit you during an epiphany on a sweltering night after high school graduation. 

It occurred in the midst of humid sepia air, the three of you still in your graduation caps and gowns as your bodies lay splayed across the asphalt leading down to your street. With the absence of cars coming down the wide road, it was perfectly rational to lay side by side in the middle of the cul-de-sac. The ground was simply the best place to ponder your thoughts and get lost in swirling memories now that university lay too close on the horizon; the sheer size of the sky seemed to mock your trio as you watched the clouds roll on by in their mismatched shapes and harrowing wisps. 

A cigar — one comically too big for his face — hung between Mark’s fingers as he pushed his body to flop over your arm, the thing no doubt “borrowed” from the bottom of his father’s office drawer.

“Thank the Lord I’ll never have to see you bitches again,” he had sighed in pretend relief, blowing a tunnel of smoke into the side of your face as you pushed his warm skin off of yours. Chaewon snorted from beside you.

“Please, as if you’ll last a day without us at uni,” she retorted, rolling over onto her stomach and pulling a face at Mark’s teasing words. “I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve saved your life over this past month alone.”

“Yeah?” Mark grinned, supporting his upper body with his forearms as he turned to look at her over your relaxed figure. “Enlighten me.” She subsequently raised her eyebrows at him.

“Might I remind you of the time you got stuck at the drive-through cinema at 2am because you had locked yourself out of your car? And guess whose asses had to haul yours back home two hours away,” Chaewon pointed an accusing finger at Mark, her tone joking as she glared at said boy. He opened his mouth to say something but she held up a finger to her mouth in a shushing motion, stopping him. “And. Let’s not forget last week,” Mark furrowed his eyebrows, as if trying to recall which out of all the dumb decisions he had made was about to be relived, “when Kang Yujin pushed up on you during that one house party, you got a hard on from just that, and we had to cover for you-”

Mark shot up abruptly, leaning over you to slap a hand over Chaewon’s mouth before rushing to defend himself.

“But she was so hot, Chae, you wouldn’t understand,” he whined at her, frowning at you to do something and sympathize with him. It was expected by now, the regular petty and half-assed arguments making your friendship that much stronger.

As they continued bickering back and forth, you couldn’t help but let your mind drift away back into the clouds, the setting sun soaking them with a blazing, burnt umber. You would be going to college soon, and that meant no Mark, no Chaewon, and no parents to keep you sane. It was strange to imagine not spending every waking moment with your two best friends, and even stranger to think that going to different schools would mean no more daily drama fill-ins and midnight convenience store runs.

But after all, you had done it once, and you hoped you could do it again.

When your older brother Taeyong left for university a few years ago, it had practically shattered you. Sure, you found him incredibly annoying at times (still do) and had a constant vendetta against the man, but when the moment came to hug him goodbye, you just couldn’t bring yourself to let go. He had shown you the ins and outs of adolescence and given you the attention you craved when your parents couldn’t. He taught you how to take care of yourself, how to look in the mirror and recognize your worth, how to know your own limits, and how to realize that high school boys weren’t shit. He was always the first to get to the hospital when you had gotten hurt at school, and most important of all, he was with you throughout the highs and lows growing up.

If Taeyong leaving home had taught you anything, it was that time moves too fast — and it’ll only move faster as you get older. You know that your life is about to enter Round 2, and this time without anyone to hold your hand as you enter an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people.

But it’s not over just yet.

Your best friends would never let that happen, and you recognize this now as your golden trio sits in your town’s local record shop, with ceiling fans whirring above you as the cool storefront protects you from the blazing summer heat.

It’s after-hours but the sun still burns bright into the late afternoon. You recline in the cashier chair as Chaewon flips the 'open' sign closed and makes her way back to you and Mark, the latter sitting against the wall with a variety of bottles surrounding him on the checkered floor. 

He’s in an odd position, and you just know his mother would flip if she saw him with this much alcohol on a wednesday afternoon (at least it’s not a Sunday after mass, but she definitely doesn’t need to know that he’s been there, done that already). Mark tests out new concoctions every week, using the record store as his work space; the owner’s never in town and barely any customers come in to buy records these days, so there’s no one to stop him. Chaewon raises her eyebrows as she eyes the newest addition to his special menu.

“I’m not even gonna ask,” you say as he swirls the amber liquid around in a clean whisky bottle. Mark whistles at his creation, impressed, before holding it up to you and shaking it tauntingly. It smells slightly floral, the sharp flavors of absinthe and cognac making your nose scrunch.

“You’re just mad that your mixes don’t hit as hard as mine, baby.” With another swirl, he lifts the drink up to his mouth to taste. “And because you so nicely asked,” Mark smirks at you, “it’s Peychaud’s Bitters, cognac, syrup, and anise, and I give you my permission to borrow the recipe to impress your future uni friends. You’re welcome.” You shove Mark’s shoulder with your palm as he laughs at your baffled expression, body shaking with amusement while he sips away at his newest pride. 

It’s only when Chaewon reaches over to steal the bottle away from him that your phone starts ringing, startling all three of you as the name of your older brother flashes across the screen. Mark looks at you inquisitively, but you just shrug in response and press the receive button.

“Tae?” you inquire, surprised at the sudden call. “Everything okay?”

He hums at the end of the line. 

“More than okay. Guess whose plans just changed and is actually coming home today for break,” he reveals right away, and you know he’s smiling by the way his tone of voice is lilted in true Taeyong fashion.

“No fucking way,” you breathe out, eyes widening. Taeyong’s back? “Today, right now? For the entire summer? You’re actually lying- wait wait I’m coming home right now. Wait. Wait for me.”

“‘Wait wait wait,’ I’m not going anywhere sis,” he grins as he mocks you, noises of shuffling sounding out over your phone speaker. “Mom’s gonna pick me up from the airport in 30, I think. See you then?”

“Lee Taeyong! How could you not tell me,” you frown into the receiver, “I need at least three business days to prepare before seeing your face.”

“Oh, shut up would you. I have literal voicemail receipts of you crying about how much you miss me,” Taeyong retorts, topping your sarcasm. 

You sigh, rubbing your temple when you realize that Taeyong’s never gonna let your sad-drunk voicemails go. “Fine, but you better spend every single day with me.”

Taeyong protests jokingly before giving in, promising you that he’ll make up for the time you’ve missed together. With a little, love you, and more of his usual unsolicited comments, the two of you say your quick goodbyes and you turn back to your waiting friends. 

“Damn, Taeyong’s really back?” Mark looks at you in awe, his eyes shining with admiration. “He never stays for long, that’s crazy. You gotta let me come over at least once,” he pleads, hands grabbing yours. You know that your best friend looks up to your brother a ton, so you nod at him. “Sick, imma finally be able to talk music with him.”

“Wait, if Taeyong’s coming home for the entire summer,” Chaewon pauses, a knowing smile growing on her face as you groan, knowing exactly what she’s about to say next, “that means a certain Jeong Jaehyun will probably be following him back as well. And likely other kids in their year too from SNU… holy shit, the parties are gonna be literally insane this summer.” She throws her head back in elation as the realization strikes the three of you at once.

“You’re so right,” Mark covers his mouth to hide the smug grin taking over his face. He makes a heart with his hands as he observes you. “I can’t believe that I forgot Miss Y/N over here had the biggest crush on Jaehyun in high school.” You hit him on the chest in response as he absolutely loses it over your misfortune. 

“Lovergirl,” he sing-songs, adding fuel to the fire while you shove your face into your palms. Your cheeks warm on their own when your mind flash-backs to your second year of high school, your insufferable crush on your brother’s best friend surfacing memories that you had buried after they both had graduated two years ago.

“I’m leaving,” you mumble into your hands, “all you two do is make me suffer.” 

Chaewon grins at you before pulling your figure into a tight hug, tugging Mark in too by his shirt to join your little group. 

“It’s out of love,” she giggles before kissing your cheek with an exaggerated muah. Turning slowly towards Mark, he lets out a, “nope nope nope,” before scrambling away from Chaewon’s outstretched arms.

Smiling at their antics, you collect your few belongings and tuck some new records under your arm before heading out of the shop. Saluting your friends goodbye and opening the front door, you cringe at the wave of heat that seeps into the cool space. 

“Say hi to Taeyong for me, Y/N! We’ll lock up for today,” Chaewon calls out from behind the counter, sending you an air kiss when you step out into your town’s center square.

The streets buzz with life as you make the quick walk back to your house. With a brilliant sunset soaking the streets in tangerine tones and a line of quaint shops’ wind chimes fluttering beside you, you can’t bring yourself to care about the heat. The alleys you stroll down are comfy, lined with the latest pastel DeLoreans and colorful paper garlands tied along their telephone lines. It’s a complete memory lane, and your comfy suburb — filled with traditional gaewa roofs and terracotta neutrals, clay-red stained roads and gated hanoks — hold a familiarity that no other could replace. It’s the more cramped side of town, and you might envy Taeyong’s thrilling city life that you see through his social media, but nothing will ever beat home.

Your lace camisole sticks to your skin with fervor as you finally get to your own address, letting out a sigh of relief when cool shade encompasses you in the juniper-tinted light of the mudroom. Setting your brand-new records onto the kitchen floor, their faded titles peeking over thin paper sheaths, you make yourself comfortable on the floor as you hum to yourself. The house is quiet.

You put one of the new records into your player before your gaze drifts over to a stack of pictures on the tabletop, filtered evenly between stray letters and tacky postcards that your older brother has always had a knack for. 

In addition to texting and calling home every month, Taeyong made it a habit a few years ago to send you the little magazine cut-outs and mini posters that he sees on his escapades, trinkets that remind him of you. Your little kitchen-counter-collection has thinned out in the past months as your brother got increasingly busier with school and his modeling jobs, barely coming home for a few days before rushing back for castings and elite functions. Nonetheless, a little orange package addressed to you would appear at your doorstep with each change of the seasons, tinged with your brother’s cologne and topped with his messy handwriting.

Just as you place the needle on a shiny black record with Missy Elliot’s face plastered across its front, you hear the front door creak open before noises of rolling luggage and playful shouting fill the house's interior. 

“Mom, I’m not ten anymore,” you hear Taeyong whine in the higher-pitched voice he reserves solely for family, the telltale sign of his embarrassment, “I can carry my backpack myself. Promise.”

You can imagine the scene before you even see it: your brother looking away to the window as he tries to fight the smile creeping on his face, your mother on her tip-toes as she musses with her son’s hair even though he’s a head taller, and of course, your father leaning against the door with a content grin as his watches his wife’s face light up with happiness that the family is together again.

When you hear their footsteps near your seated figure on the kitchen floor, you feel your brother’s presence before you even see him. 

Taeyong stops a few paces away from you, dropping his bag carelessly on the ground before standing with his arms outstretched and eyebrows raised. With his messy hair and airport clothes still hanging off his shoulders, your brother looks like a favorite uncle at holiday dinners when he hasn’t seen his favorite niece and nephew all year.

“Aren’t you gonna come say hi to your best friend before you abandon me for your vinyls again,” he teases before crossing the threshold in three steps and embracing you fully. “It’s been a while, hmm rockstar?” 

You hum at the familiar term of endearment, sinking into his figure as your brother rocks you back and forth. You look up at him, his face looking more mature and sharp than when you saw him last.

“You gotta catch me up on that crazy life of yours, yeah? We have all summer.”

Nodding contently, you follow your brother and parents into the dining room for dinner before settling back into the feeling of having four people at home again. Just like the old days, before Taeyong left, where your worries were limited and you allowed yourself to be childish.

…

If anything makes you glad you’re alive, it’s being able to wake up at 2pm in the afternoon on a Thursday and feeling you just gained ten years. It’s truly a blessing, and if you were a bit more religious, you’d be thanking God right now for no school and black-out curtains.

Quickly getting ready, you give one last glance at yourself in the mirror before rushing downstairs to see if anyone’s home still. To your surprise, you catch Taeyong right as he’s opening the door to the basement. 

“So she’s alive,” he calls out with an approving nod, surprised that you actually managed to wake up before the sun sets once again. You roll your eyes as you pull cereal in front of you on the kitchen table. The two of you are back to your old ways in a matter of hours, making fun of each other at every chance you get.

“It’s not my fault you don’t know how to enjoy life, Tae,” you shrug, grabbing leftovers from the fridge. He simply tsks at you before walking over to affectionately ruffle your hair, drawing a complaint from you about messing it up.

“Anyway, some of my old friends are coming over today to catch up. We’re probably gonna be downstairs for a while so just let them in the front when they come,” your brother relays, moving back towards the basement when you throw up an okay sign. He gives you a knowing look. “You’re always welcome to join, you know. They all love you.”

You crinkle your nose at the idea. Sure, you’re pretty familiar with most of Taeyong’s high school friends, but you really aren’t too keen on the idea of spending your afternoon with a bunch of older boys when you could be hanging out with Mark and Chaewon.

“I’m okay. You guys have fun, though.”

Resuming your attention on your food, you open the front door a couple times over the next hour for said boys. Their features chiseled, styles changed, and voices a bit deeper, they’re all caught by surprise when you open the door for them (Yuta’s inability to recognise you at all really takes the cake). You suppose that a lot can change in two years.

After the seventh ring of the doorbell, you sigh in exasperation before making your way to the front once again. You grumble under your breath before opening the door, the bitter expression wiping right off your face when you see the two figures in front of you.

“Johnny!”

“Y/N,” the familiar boy exclaims, his towering stature enveloping you in a warm hug before pulling back and examining your growth. “Look who’s all pretty and grown! You look so much like Taeyong now that it’s scary,” he beams at you while turning your face side to side with his hands, and you can’t help but return it. If anyone was as much of an older brother figure as your real one was, it would be Johnny. 

“Hey,” a voice sounds out besides him after a few moments of Johnny’s compliments, startling you, and your eyes finally flick over to the subject of your teenage years’ daydreams. Your heart floods with a jittery feeling when he reaches out to give you a hug. “It’s nice to see you again, Y/N.” 

Jeong Jaehyun hasn’t changed a bit since you last saw him at your brother’s graduation. 

His hair is a bit longer now, dark brown curls shimmering gold in the sunlight and his ears now adorned with more silver studs and rings. But the sun-kissed freckles dusting his nose, the deep-set dimples, the starry eyes — they’re exactly the same as you remember.

He’s still breathtaking.

Johnny bursts your little moment as he grabs your arm to lead you back into your house, pulling both you and Jaehyun along with him to the basement entrance. 

Even though you’re painfully aware of your fingers nervously playing with the bracelets on your wrist, it’s true that these boys practically watched you grow up. Even when you look at a certain brown-eyed boy, your whole world feels like it's stopping. Even when your stupid childhood crush on your brother’s best friend was supposed to be gone by now. You know them, and they know you.

After Johnny and Jaehyun disappear down the stairs with a small goodbye and the invitation to join them once again, you head back up to your own room, collapsing onto your bed and staring up at the glow-in-the-dark stars plastered across your ceiling. 

You remember your brother and Jaehyun setting them up for you many years ago, their young figures using your bed as leverage to stick them on when you were still too short to reach. You had handed each star carefully to the boys, making sure the adhesive side was up before telling them where to place each one. They waited patiently for you to give them every star until the whole box was empty, the three of you high fiving before you had thanked them enthusiastically. Taeyong had simply pinched your cheek and said, “anything for my baby sister,” before pulling Jaehyun away to play another video game in the living room. 

Taeyong was a kind older brother, never complaining when your mother told him to bring you with him and his friends on their little adventures. Occasionally he found you annoying, but his friends never minded your presence, so he couldn’t find a reason to either. You were integrated into their daily outings, the boys taking turns talking and playing games with you as the days progressed.

You think your liking to Jaehyun started then: when your young mind easily confused admiration with puppy love. Your brother’s friends were the nicest boys you had met, certainly nicer than the boys in your class at school. Jaehyun specifically always made sure you were comfortable, making silly faces at you when your eyes met across the room and remembering to bring you snacks from across the street when he got some for his best friend. He was perfect in your eyes.

When you started hanging out more with your own friends as you got older, things never really changed regarding your feelings for the boy. Your secret crush was still as prominent as ever, eyes following his mess of hair whenever he passed you in the hallway at school; it didn’t help that his name was passed around no matter what year you were. Jaehyun this and Jaehyun that, you were definitely not the only girl whose heartbeat stopped whenever he looked their way. He was polite, confident, and undeniably charming, your school’s beloved basketball team captain and a favorite of teachers: the kind of boy everyone wanted to be out of envy, but couldn’t. He was truly untouchable. Your classmates would stare at you in awe when he waved at you through the classroom entrance, telling you how lucky you were that your brother and his group were so cool and how you had guys like Jaehyun over all the time. 

But it wasn’t like it was any different at home, where he would smile at you just the same as you worked on your homework in the kitchen before retreating back into the basement with Taeyong. 

Even though fifteen year-old you thought your feelings were pretty damn strong at that time, the age gap felt a bit too gaping where kids two years older felt worlds away. By seventeen, they were already off driving and taking weekend trips, your brother’s license making leeway for nights when he and his friends wouldn’t return until sunrise. It felt a little bit like you had been left behind, and yeah, it sucked, but you decided right then and there that you could have fun without them. Taeyong’s friends weren’t necessarily yours in the first place, and you came to the realization that it might have been strange for you to be so close with them at an older age anyway.

If you were sad about not seeing Jaehyun in particular too much anymore, you tried not to show it. Your best friends — Mark and Chaewon — had always known, teasing you relentlessly when the older boy was around, but the idea of him was only a lingering thought at the back of your mind when he graduated. Your ears still perked up hearing his name in passing, but you had your own problems to consume your thoughts and started getting into a new genre of trouble with your friends; the idea of Jaehyun was supposed to be dead and buried six feet under.

So then why was he plaguing your mind like this after years of successfully not thinking about him?

You groan and throw an arm over your face.

Shit.

…

“My little film-maker,” a voice pops up from above you, the grinning face of your brother accompanying it as he surprises you into oblivion. You make a face up at him and offer a reluctant little wave before returning back to your camcorder, zooming in on Chaewon beside you.

You’re on the asphalt outside your house again. The air’s cooler today, a gray sheet of clouds blocking any of the sun’s rays from reaching your golden trio. With your head on Mark’s legs, he strums his guitar gently as Chaewon hums along to the familiar tunes. Her hands are busy on their own, one arm out while her other uses markers to draw a garden into her skin with washed-out blues and oranges. 

You turn the camera around to point at Taeyong, the said boy poking his tongue out before plopping down beside Mark.

“I feel like I always find you guys on the ground,” he mutters, observing the way Mark strums his instrument with care and experience. Your friend looks a little intimidated with the proximity of Taeyong leaning towards him, but he plays on nevertheless.

You shrug. “It’s more comfortable.”

“And we’re a little closer to Hell down here,” Chaewon adds on with a grin, pausing from her flesh-art to look up at Taeyong. “We’ll all be heading there soon anyway.”

“Smart girl,” he laughs out, throwing his head back to stare into the sky. He stays there for a good moment before jumping back up onto his feet and twirling a shiny set of car keys around his fingers. “Anyway, I’m afraid I’ll have to steal Y/N for a bit,” your brother fakes a trail of tears down his cheek with his fist. “Don’t miss her too much.”

“Never,” Mark smirks at you, reaching out to pat your arm affectionately when you let out an offended, Oscar worthy sob at his words. 

“Don’t have more fun with him than you do with us, babe,” she calls out as Taeyong drags you off. You salute her back before she turns back to her painting.

Stumbling behind your brother to catch up with his long strides, your eyebrows raise when you catch sight of his infamous red Cadillac parked down the winding road. You grip on tighter to your camcorder before jogging up to the passenger side, ready to swing your legs over the side of the convertible. 

“Not so fast,” Taeyong calls out, amused, as he strolls up casually to the driver's side. “We’re picking up some of the guys and Johnny already called shotgun yesterday. Take it up with him, rockstar.”

You splutter indignantly before crossing to the backseat with a huff, sinking into the car’s tan, leather seats and crossing your arms. “Not fair, Tae,” you complain at him before he starts the engine, starting off in the direction of an area you’ve never been before. “Where are we even going?”

He doesn’t answer.

Soon enough, three more bodies crowd into your brother’s car after dropping by Jungwoo’s condo, the boy squishing into the back with you as Jaehyun of all people slides into the seat on the other side of you. They offer smiles and quick greetings to you before the car takes off once again. 

His proximity hits you far harder than Jungwoo’s, and you know exactly why. You keep your head tilted away from him as you try to focus on Johnny in the front seat, who’s passionately retelling an encounter he had at the supermarket this morning. It’s incredibly hard when Jaehyun moves and his thigh touches yours, fifteen year-old you coming back to life within you and screaming all sorts of insane things at your brain. You can physically feel his warmth radiating off his skin. 

“—so we both reach out at the same time, and luckily, I snatch the crate right before her hands do. But,” Johnny pauses to look through the rearview mirror for dramatic effect, his shades glinting as the Cadillac speeds through dusty roads. “You won’t believe who those hands belonged to.”

He stills with the skill of an A-list actor, reaching up to pluck the sunnies off his face and stare right into Jaehyun’s eyes through the silver glass.

“Lim Saemi.”

Everybody has a different reaction to the name-drop, with Jungwoo and Taeyong’s gasp and your muffled noise ringing out as your eyes widen in the slightest. You try to glance at Jaehyun subtly, and his face doesn’t flicker a bit from its usual stoic expression, but you can feel him tense up next to you before relaxing a few seconds later. He appears seemingly unphased, and if you had not been watching carefully from out of the corner of your eye you would have fallen for it.

You know better, though.

“Oh? Is she back home for the summer too?” Jaehyun throws out casually, tucking his chin in his hand as he looks out through the wind. 

“Wait Jae… you didn’t know? I thought if anyone would know first, it would be you,” Jungwoo leans back, surprised at this new development. “Even I knew, and everyone knows I don’t catch onto shit.”

“It’s whatever,” Jaehyun mumbles, deflecting the weird looks he receives. He ends the conversation with two words, and the car falls into silence with the only noises being those from tires against gravel. You glance at him before staring straight forward through the dash.

You know Lim Saemi.

Who doesn’t, in all honesty. Saemi is Saemi, and you’d be the weird one if you hadn’t heard her name at least once throughout your school years. She was like straight out of a Dior catalog. With as much impact as your older brother and his posse had left, she was everything all the girls in your year wanted to be: too pretty to be unnecessarily shallow, too smart to use her looks irrationally. 

You remember Lim Saemi.

She’s two years older, like Taeyong and Jaehyun and Johnny. She was the girl who was occasionally over at your house during parties when your brother would force you upstairs, her bleached hair and delicate features drawing in everyone immediately. You remember watching from the top of the stairwell as her figure still captured attention in the darkness of winter’s pitch black nights. From your outside point of view, it was like she was the center of a spindling web that stretched throughout the bottom floor of your house; people just couldn’t help but be lured to her.

You wanted to be Lim Saemi.

Just for one day. You needed to know what it felt like to be the center of a certain boy’s affections, even though she attracted every other person’s along the way as well. She was a different type of suburban it-girl, one that everyone was sure would get snatched up into the celebrity world sooner or later with the way she carried herself.

You knew that Jaehyun and Saemi had always been “just friends” — or at least that was what they told everyone — but you could tell he had liked her throughout their high school years. How could you not, especially when you looked at him the same way he looked at her. Back then, it was more curiosity about their complicated relationship than hate fueled jealousy for you. You still couldn’t help but imagine him treating you with the affection he did with her; even as a teenager, you understood why. And ironically, as you sit in the backseat of your brother’s car with the very boy right beside you, the bubbling feeling of envy is uncomfortable in your gut.

Shaking your head out of your retrospective thoughts, you look around in confusion when the convertible starts to slow on a thinning road, towering evergreens blocking the sky from view.

Leading the car through another winding path, it emerges on the other side within acres of grassy fields and wildflower paths that circles a grandiose, central estate home. Marble blocks stretch across its stone ledges like ivy — an intimidating facade if you’ve ever seen one. Taeyong looks at you through the rearview mirror. His eyes crease in pride when he sees the wonder in yours, enraptured by the sight before you. 

“Remember when Johnny said that he’d always wanted to go to a local car show?” your brother starts, grinning at his friend beside him. “Well, yours truly saw an ad at the record shop yesterday for one just outside of town. Someone compliment me, I feel like I just made all of our afternoons a thousand times better.”

“This is actually insane, Yong,” Jungwoo breathes out, eyes widening at the unfamiliar setting. 

Retro cars of all brands and models are parked across an acre, their shiny coats glinting in the sun as masses of people linger near and talk amongst themselves. The white pillars of whoever’s home is hosting the car show serves as a gathering place for lovers to mingle, precariously held champagne flutes an ironic contrast to the grit and dirt of the event itself.

Johnny lets out a low whistle before resting his weight on the center console and lowering his sunglasses, observing the scene. 

“This is exactly my type of place. Old, rich people and hot girls.” 

“Oh my god, Johnny,” you laugh out, not at all surprised that those words came from his mouth. 

You tear your gaze away from the outside view to look at Jaehyun after hearing his embarrassed groan at Johnny’s words. To your surprise, he’s already looking at you. With his piercing gaze on your face, you look away, flustered, playing it off with a small cough.

Taeyong parks his timeless Cadillac besides others of the same nature before leaving to roam around with Johnny and Jungwoo, buzzing with excitement. It’s no surprise that they make their way over to the group of girls huddled around a vintage truck model first, their giggles ringing out across the field as they throw sly glances to the boys headed their way. You catch sight of your brother leaning towards one in particular before deciding you’ve seen enough and turning to explore by yourself.

Thrilled to be left to your own devices, you follow your own little path off to the side towards a pastel-colored Corvette that had caught your eye earlier. Circling it for a few minutes and capturing it slowly through the lens of your camcorder, you smile happily to yourself while replaying the footage in the shade of a lonely willow tree. The cool breeze brings tangs of clementines and vanilla — from where, you don’t know — as well as the unmistakable scent of petrol and cigarettes as it picks up pieces of your hair before rustling the leaves of the willow.

“Can I see?” a familiar voice startles you. You look up to see Jaehyun’s lean figure making his way over to your crouched one, gesturing to your open camera with his head tilted. “If you’re comfortable, of course,” he adds, the corners of his lips quirking up. Mouth agape slightly for a few seconds, you shake yourself out of your momentary funk and nod, thrilled at his interest.

“The colors show up really well with this lighting, especially ‘cuz I just changed my saturation settings,” you mumble, stopping yourself when you realize he probably doesn’t care that much. Tucking your knees to your chest, you wait nervously as you hand the device to him.

You think your heartbeat just about stops when he replies with a “that’s so cool” under his breath.

Jaehyun holds the camera carefully to his chest before sitting down beside you, leaning against the tree trunk before flipping through your gallery. He takes his time watching every little video clip and picture, giving you a little noise of approval every few clicks. 

You’re caught off guard when he sighs and puts the camcorder back in your lap, turning to you with the most serious expression you’ve ever seen grace his features. 

“Y/N, you seriously might be better at this shit than the literal mixed media majors at my uni,” he deadpans. Taken aback, you can’t stop the rosy warmth that creeps up your cheeks. “I’m being so for real right now. Don’t ever stop.”

You pause.

“Do you know how reassuring that is to hear, especially from you?” you say with sincerity, holding eye contact with him.

“Hmm? Really, me?”

“Yeah. It feels like I’m doing something right, like I’m not wasting my time on a fruitless hobby.” Confessing one of your biggest fears to someone who’s familiar to you but not, close to you but not — now that’s probably one of the craziest things you’ve done this week, and you do a whole lot of crazy things in a week.

Jaehyun’s expression changes with your words. He doesn’t reply for a while, just seeming to take in the world around him with only his eyes. Looking from the drooping branches of the willow to its dirt-ingrained roots, his face is cast downwards with a faint, melancholic smile.

Now the mood is ruined, you think to yourself, bitter. Why do I always do this?

Before you can change the subject and move on from your awkward burt-out, he clears his throat. 

“You know, I admire you a lot Y/N. You and Taeyong,” he starts, the slim chain around his neck glittering in the afternoon sun when he turns back to you. “Both of you have always been unafraid to pursue the arts, even though I know how your strict parents are about future careers and all that. I wish I had the courage to just… do what I like instead of being a pushover with my dad. Maybe I would be doing music with your brother instead of barely living day by day in pre-med.”

His usual confident eyes are tinged with regret and a little vulnerability as he ruffles his hair in the wind. You tilt your head at him, trying to come up with comforting words when you aren’t so sure if you’re qualified to give him advice in the first place.

“Well… I admire you a lot, Jaehyun. You’ve always been that one person who consistently looks like they have their life in check, someone who’s able to put their all in everything that they do. It’s really a quality to be proud of,” you say to him honestly. “I think you’ll do well wherever you end up. So don’t worry too much, okay?”

The boy stares at you like no one’s ever said that to him, and no one has; even if this might be a passing comment for you, it’s something that he feels relief to finally hear.

“Thanks.” He says it so quietly that you almost miss it, but you can hear the gratefulness in his voice nevertheless. You both look away for a few seconds when a brilliant yellow bird flutters past the two of you, settling on the ground in front to peck at a white speck in the soil. “Pretty,” he mumbles under his breath, blinking at the animal.

And with that, Jaehyun shakes his head a bit before resuming back to his relaxed demeanor. He lets out a breath of air and runs his tongue over his teeth. 

“Sorry for getting so deep all of a sudden,” he apologies, sheepishly rubbing his neck as you let out a little laugh.

“No, it’s nice to hear that the Valentine Boy has troubles too,” you tease lightly, recalling the God-like aura he used to carry 24/7 when you were younger and the nick-name that followed him around as a result. Jaehyun visibly cringes at your words, no doubt getting high school flashbacks.

“Not that,” he replies, embarrassed. “Anyway, I feel like I haven’t gotten the chance yet to ask you how you’ve been these past few years.” You glance up at him in surprise. He sounds strangely sincere for someone you weren’t that close with out of your brother’s friends, and the confusion must show on your face because he finds it in himself to clarify. “Oh come on, Y/N. I feel like we’ve known each other since forever but I’ve missed a crucial part of your growing up. You’re like a whole different person now.”

“I’d hope so,” you lament, fiddling with your camcorder. “I’ve gone through too much shit to be the same as sixteen-year old me.” Jaehyun laughs out loud at your answer, knowing exactly how you feel as someone who was once a fresh, high school graduate.

“Yeah? Well it seems like just yesterday when you were complaining about being bored after school from not having enough homework—” he stumbles over his words when you push his body with a light shove, the boy barely able to get breaths in with how much he’s laughing at your past cluelessness of how hard high school would really be.

“None of you guys warned me about the horror of calculus, so that is not my fault Jaehyun,” you pout, shaking your head at him.

“So it’s my fault?” he smiles, questioning your statement.

“Yes.” A lie.

“And I’m the reason why you almost failed second semester math?”

“Yes.” Another lie. Wait. “What— how do you even know about that?” You demand, incredulous. Jaehyun just raises his eyebrows and hides his growing grin behind his hand. “Fucking Lee Taeyong.”

He looks overjoyed at your seething, playfully poking out his bottom lip in a mock-frown before getting up and dusting off his pants. Offering a hand to you, Jaehyun uses his strength to pull you to your feet; you’re hyper-aware of the warmth of his palm as your hands linger for a millisecond before he pulls away. 

I’m so screwed, you think to yourself, blinking at the sky with fervor. Shaking your head, you tuck your hand to your side and try not to think of his skin on yours.

“They’re finally done flirting,” he notes with a hum, making an acute observation as you both spy the three other boys heading back to the car, their reluctant forms obvious when you see one girl hold up her hands in a ‘call me’ sign.

Smirking, you skip ahead of Jaehyun before turning back and waving your wallet at him.

“25000 won that we’ll see one of those girls walk out of Tae’s room tomorrow morning,” you chant as Jaehyun jogs to catch up with you. Chuckling, he pushes your wallet away.

“Nah, that man doesn’t give a fuck about the time of day. 25000 that she’s gonna be at your house in twenty,” he counters, snorting when you gag at the thought.

You can’t help but light up at his content face; this feels like this is the first time you’ve ever had a real, honest to goodness, conversation with him as a young adult.

And you’re in trouble, because you think you like it more than you should.

…

“I did it,” Chaewon confesses over the phone, the sound of a knife against a chopping board from her end revealing her current position.

“What,” you inquire, “you finally passed your license test?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

“Never.” You flash a wicked grin at the sheet music in your hands, shuffling through the never-ending leaflets. 

When Taeyong had said he’d pay you to organize his papers, you clearly weren’t thinking straight enough to be saying yes to this hell. He’s been out for an hour already and not even a third of the pile is sorted through. You slump forward on the couch and shake out your tired hands, groaning when your knuckle hits the coffee table with a painful thump.

“For your information, I don’t need to drive. Hot girls take public transportation,” she retorts with a humph.

“Can’t argue with you there, passenger princess.”

“Oh please, I can literally feel the sarcasm dripping from your voice.”

You laugh, a “you know me, Chae” accompanying the sound ringing out through your empty house. Gathering Taeyong’s work into your arms and dumping the rest on the table, you slide onto the carpeted ground with a sigh. Your bones are overly sore from sitting for too long and the couches seams have made painful, little white imprints on your thighs. With a click of your tongue, you inwardly curse your brother for offering such good deals to a minimum wage paid, about-to-be uni kid, or else you wouldn't be spending a perfectly good Saturday afternoon on whatever this is.

“So,” you prompt, “what did you do this time.”

“Ha,” Chaewon starts.

“I’m scared.”

“Ran into Jaehyun today.”

“Aaand that’s my cue to hang up now,” you sing, slipping the phone between your shoulder and ear, the warm device tucked neatly in the crevice of your neck before you hear the sound of your doorbell ringing out. 

“Wait—”

“Hold on for a sec, Chae. Someone’s at the door.” 

You will yourself to get up from the carpet before making your way over to the front of the house, preparing yourself for a blast of hot summer air to hit you. The silver knob twists under your hand as you swing the door open slowly, expecting the mailman or a delivery on your front porch. Certainly not—

“—Hey.”

Your eyes flick up in surprise.

“Oh shit,” Chaewon whispers over the phone. “That’s not who I think it is, right?”

It’s been a week since you last saw Jaehyun face to face, and your conflicted inner thoughts have been battling in your conscience for the entirety of it. Well, this isn’t great.

“Hi Jaehyun,” you manage to sound out, mentally chastising yourself for sounding so nervous.

“And that’s my cue to hang up now,” the voice at the other end of your call snickers, the long beep of it ending blaring into your ear. 

Your arm drops to your side, phone in hand, as you stare pointedly at Chaewon’s contact info lighting up the screen, her eyes mocking you through her profile picture. Jaehyun lifts an eyebrow as he looks between your phone and your face, seemingly questioning if you’re currently busy through his eyes alone.

“Umm…” your gaze flits around in flusteration, looking just about anywhere but him. “Taeyong’s not home right now, if that’s why you’re here.”

“Oh? Do you know when he’ll be back?” he asks, relaxed as he leans his body against the doorframe.

“He’s picking up stuff from Johnny’s across town, so like,” you glance up at the clock, “an hour? I could uh… call you when he gets back if you want.”

Jaehyun simply pokes his tongue into his cheek in contemplation before tucking his hands into his pockets.

“Nah, it’s okay. I’ll just stay.” With a small smile, he adds on, “if you're okay with that, of course.”

You peer past him to see his shiny black Mustang sitting in front of your house, before returning to your original position and shrugging at the foyer. Losing your shyness momentarily as you let out a puff of air, you follow Jaehyun in before deciding to answer.

“My company is a blessing in itself, isn’t it,” you think out loud, displaying a cheeky smile when Jaehyun turns around to playfully scoff at you.

“Now that’s a sure thing, Y/N.” 

The boy seats himself on one of the kitchen barstools and places his chin in his hand, leaning over the counter to stare at you as you busy yourself with the fridge.

In all honesty, you weren’t prepared to see him again. He’s already been occupying your mind a little too much for your liking during this past week, the idea of his return to your life teetering you on the edge of insanity. You didn’t know high school crushes hit that hard two years later, and it certainly doesn’t help that his golden skin and constellation of tawny freckles have made an almost daily appearance in the Lee household — just like the old times.

“I think we still have that special glass-bottled lemonade from the farmer’s market last weekend, unless,” you pause, sifting through the multitude of items in the ice box. “Yup. Nevermind. Taeyong finished all of them.”

Jaehyun snorts, already familiar with his best friend’s midnight tendencies of clearing out the fridge whenever, wherever.

“We also have water? And um… milk. And Vodka.”

“This sounds like Yuta’s fridge, and that thought alone is like, genuinely terrifying,” Jaehyun observes from behind you. You shake your head, recalling the first time you saw the said boy’s freezer stash of condiments and liquor at a house party a few years ago. Only condiments and liquor.

“Oh! And cold noodles,” you hold up the container with a little shake. “I remember you liking my mom’s version of them,” you mumble quietly, willing yourself to turn around when the cold air from the fridge starts to sting your eyes.

Jaehyun observes you curiously, a question at the tip of his tongue. You remember?

He stops himself from blurting it out when you seat yourself across from him and push the container towards his direction.

“You practically live here anyway. Help yourself,” you say a bit louder, embarrassed about the fact that you remember such a miniscule detail about him.

You squint at the countertop — which you honestly wish would swallow you whole — as Jaehyun moves around you to pour himself a glass of water. His muscles strain against his loose t-shirt as he moves around your kitchen with familiarity, and you turn away with wide eyes when you realize you’ve spaced out while staring at his back.

It’s a situation that younger you would have never imagined; you had simply never been left in a room with him alone. Your brother and his other friends were always there, a subtle reminder of the distance between you two and the fact that he was probably still worlds away.

But you’re an adult now, and it’d be a lie if you said that you don’t want Jaehyun to notice you in that way.

Feelings are too complicated to think about sober. You grimace to yourself, pressing two fingers against your temple as you lean your cheek against the cool, hard marble of the countertop.

“Y/N?” you lift your head up at your name, flinching back in surprise when Jaehyun’s face appears at the edge of your vision, his figure buzzing with excitement as he gapes at you. “This is yours, right?”

Your eyes drift to the black canisters in his palm. My film.

“Oh yeah— wait. I forgot to develop those ones,” you make your way over and take the undeveloped film rolls into your hands, the boy observing you with wide eyes.

“That’s sick. Do you develop them yourself?” 

“Hm? Nah, I bring them to the camera store downtown. Left them in the fridge to preserve for a while so they should be good to go now.”

It’s only when you look up from the canisters that you spy his expression, the pure giddiness painted on his features catching you off guard. Jaehyun’s body language tells you that he is unnervingly thrilled about his new discovery.

“You were never into this kind of stuff when Taeyong and I were still here in high school,” he brings up slowly, letting the words sit on his tongue before following you when you head towards the stairs. “If I had known…” he trails off, pursing his lips to the side so that his notorious dimples show.

You peer at him over your nose bridge curiously. If he had known, he would've what?

Jaehyun pokes his tongue into his cheek and furrows his brows, thinking about the times when he was over at your house after school and you would be nowhere to be seen. Is the dark room where you were, or were you out taking pictures at the rink and shooting short films with your friends? Maybe at the park with your old camcorder and skateboard? The fact that he never knew about so many of your hobbies is almost troubling considering how long he’s known you, and it makes him shift in place. He supposes he never really took the time to know his best friend’s little sister, but looking at you as you stare back, you’re so much more than that. 

Had you always shared so much in common?

“Well, imma go upstairs and watch a movie,” you resume your climb before pointing upward. “You can come up until Tae comes home, if you want?”

The boy glances at the door momentarily, contemplating how Taeyong would react if he found him in his sister’s room. Would he kill me? Maybe.

He shrugs. Fuck it, I could totally beat him in a fight, Jaehyun reasons, smiling to himself. He doesn’t know how he reached that conclusion, but he thinks he’s joking. Mostly.

“The real question is, what’re we watching? If it’s some romcom shit I’m leaving,” Jaehyun raises a challenging brow with his smirk as he follows you nonetheless, hand following yours dangerously close on the wooden handrail.

“Not my problem you’ve got no taste.”

“Oh please,” he rolls his eyes, pushing his body into view as you push open your bedroom door, “I might actually die if I see DiCaprio’s face one more time, and you can’t tell me it’s not you that has all of his movies in the living room cabinet, ‘cause they’re definitely not your brother’s.”

“That seems a bit of a personal issue between you and him, Jaehyun,” you let out a laugh with your words. Turning around to flick on the light switch, you’re met with his face closer than it was before. “What.”

“What?” he repeats, almost mockingly. “Oh, sweetheart. You think this face isn’t DiCaprio level?”

Your face heats up without your consent, flustered at the sudden proximity and the fact that you most definitely think Jaehyun’s better than all of your favorite actors combined. You would never admit that to him for the life of you, though.

You swallow before pushing him lightly, making your way into the center of your bedroom.

“Admit it,” he sings, not giving up as he relentlessly parks himself in front of you with his legs set further apart so that he can look at you at eye level. “I bet even Ji Chang-wook’s got nothing on me.”

“Woah woah woah,” you gasp in offense, throwing a hand up to your chest. “Now that’s crossing the line, buddy. Ji Chang-wook’s got something on everybody.”

“I bet,” Jaehyun drawls out sarcastically, eyes flipping to the ceiling ludicrously slow. He seems to glitch for a few seconds, mouth open but no words coming out. “Especially with the way his face is plastered… on… your ceiling? You fall asleep to that?”

Your eyes widen when you have the sudden realization that Jeong Jaehyun is in your room, in your personal space, looking at your things. And that most certainly includes the poster of Ji Chang-wook next to the plastic stars above your bed, glassy, plastic-y eyes staring down at your ruffley bed sheets and everything. In your defense, it was the result of a lost dare — but he doesn’t know that. Wow, you think to yourself, regretting all of your life decisions, I’m just so good at first impressions.

“Yes,” you give up somewhat dejectedly, offering him a (hopefully) confident smile before pulling a projector from under your bed and setting it up on your bedside table.

Jaehyun just shrugs and seats himself on your bed, muttering a little “cute” that you miss before observing as you give the machine a few good slaps so it’ll turn on. Settling against the wall, he lets his eyes flutter over your decor and multitude of things plastered across every inch of your space. If anything, the way your room’s changed since the last time he was in it gives him an outlook into your life that he wouldn't have known otherwise. 

From the blockbuster movie ads on your door to the unfiltered sunlight reflecting off your mirror, the shoelaces tied around your closet door to the origami threaded around your ceiling fan, he feels like he’s falling. Maybe, just maybe, he even finds a bit of himself in the painted shoe boxes shoved under your desk and your circular record shelf. Even the stars he and Taeyong stuck on years ago are still there too. He recognizes bits and pieces here and there, but thrown together in one place, a cohesive picture forms in front of him. It’s suffocating — in a good way — as if he’s been thrown into the unknown and is hit with a new side of you at full force; everything, everywhere, all at once.

“Ha!” you exclaim, holding out a fist for Jaehyun to bump when your projector flickers on. With a bright grin, you flop onto the bed beside him and wait for the whirring of the projector to start with a hollow click.

The beginning few seconds of the film you’ve chosen roll onto your makeshift movie screen, a white sheet hanging by its threads from your vanity, as the bright images light up your figures with a burning white.

Jaehyun figures out what you’ve done just as a familiar face blurs into view, the moving calligraphy of The Great Gatsby scrawled across your bedroom wall while you poke out your tongue at him, high off of the mere fact that you’ve gotten your way. You hear him let out a defeated sigh from beside you, his knee hitting yours as he settles into your comforter nevertheless.

“Sharp as hell, aren’t you. I should’ve known DiCaprio would show up in my sight sooner or later.”

…

Summer tastes like melted sugar crystals in cherry garcia  — or rather, summer tastes like Mark Lee’s Strawberry-Rouge Extravaganza, the latest, state-of-the-art item on his Record Shop menu. When you ask why the random French is thrown in there, he defends himself adamantly, claiming that his three years of secondary French language classes have practically made him a local.

“It’s like a metaphor for saying, ‘I love you,’” Mark claims with sass, even though you don’t make the connection (“That’s not what a metaphor is…?” you mumble quizzically under your breath). He ignores the weird look you throw at him and goes back to his mixing on the counter of the cashier station. “And it feels like a warm hug, because what better to express that than sparkly, drunk goodness.”

“Wow,” Chaewon deadpans, not even looking up from her nails that she’s painting right next to him. The mix of nail polish and liquor makes you scrunch your nose as you organize the main display, a rotating shelf that headlines Blondie. “You should be a poet. You have such a way with words.”

“I don’t need your negativity in my life, girly.” You almost choke on air when you hear a sharp snap of Chae’s gum in retaliation, her icy glare making Mark wilt under her gaze. 

Their intense, non-verbal argument is saved by the dinging of a customer opening the door to the shop. You whip around to greet them only for your words to die right in your throat. Two silhouettes step in, their tall stature and familiar features blocking the sun from shining through the entranceway.

“…Jaehyun, Jungwoo! How are you guys?” Mark offers when he sees you fall silent.

The two greet happily right back, sliding past you to pat him on the back and exchange handshakes. Jaehyun lingers by your side for a little, holding his fist out for you to tap like you did just the other day in your room.

“We knew we’d find you guys in here,” Jungwoo laments, looking around the shelves before his eyes land on Mark’s… setup. You have to admit, this one looks a bit more pleasant than his past drink recipes, and you can tell that Jungwoo agrees wholeheartedly. His hand lingers on a bottle of sparkling vanilla wine as Mark slices red fruit ardently with a plastic, cafeteria knife. A paper cup holds the rest of his special ingredients: rock candy on wooden sticks, shattered candy hearts, and star-shaped ice cubes. You’d be lying if you didn’t admit that it looked delicious, like something you would order at a beach-side bar. 

Jungwoo seems to find the situation amusing, a trio of barely-adults passing slow, withering days in their own little makeshift paradise. Leaning against the countertop like he’s on the cover of Parisian Vogue, he nicks his baseball cap up a bit higher to look into the three of yours’ eyes better.

“Johnny’s throwing a party.”

That’s all anyone needs to say before Chaewon’s attention is snagged, her eyes gaining an undeniable gleam.

“We’re going,” she speaks for everyone in the room, especially looking you square in the eyes as if saying, you’re not escaping this time, young lady.

“Mhm,” Jaehyun confirms, a hand rubbing at his pulse as he swings an arm over Jungwoo’s shoulders. “A fancy mixer, kinda, the day after tomorrow. We’ll have all the booze, so the only thing you need to bring is yourself.”

“And,” the latter chimes in, “it’s at Johnny’s countryside estate, so y’all can do whatever illegal shit you kids get yourself into without worrying about anything.”

Chaewon lets out a small scoff at his words, mumbling a “we still do here it anyway” under her breath and throwing a knowing look at the alcohol in front of Mark that’s very blatantly in every passerby’s sight.

As Jungwoo relays more information about the plans to them at the front of the shop, Jaehyun turns to follow your path as you diligently place records back in their places in the depths of the store. 

“Do you wear silver or gold?” 

You jump at his appearance out of nowhere, glancing at him with a certain hesitation at his question. Your confusion as to how this topic appeared so suddenly is painted blatantly across your face as you close the last turntable with a click. 

“Why?” You pause. “But both. Depends on my mood.”

“Because this is yours now.”

He reaches into his jeans’ front pocket, pulling out something in his fist before reaching for your hand and dropping a small, plastic ring in the middle of it. 

It’s neon orange and ugly as hell, like something you would find stuck to gum on the underbelly of a school desk. But hey, who are you to complain when Jaehyun looks so pleased at himself as he looks between your face and the ring, trying to gauge your reaction to his surprise gift. And, you’re definitely not complaining when it’s a gift from Jaehyun himself.

“Thank you…? Also,” you squint, picking up the ring to slide onto your pointer finger, “this isn’t silver or gold.” He shrugs half heartedly.

“Sucks to suck.”

You kick the tip of his Converse as he laughs with his whole body, the boy’s deep voice filling the small space. 

“It’s from the coin toy machine outside,” he explains. With a broad grin, he pulls his other hand from out of his pocket and waves it in your face. The whole rainbow has found its home on his fingers, all silly swirls and squiggles of nylon with glued on googly-eyes half falling off.

It’s the pure childish elation you share which makes you unknowingly sink deeper and deeper into the ocean that is Jeong Jaehyun, and you would have felt the metaphorical gasps of air your lungs so desperately need if not for the momentary distractions he provides. 

You suppose all of this is your own doing anyway. 

…

It feels as though Autumn has made a reverse pit-stop in the middle of summer. 

If not obvious by the way the seasonal trees are drooping with a sudden dewy chill, it’s the sudden absence of people in general that serves as a telltale sign. There’s almost no cars on the road, fewer students out and about, and less frequent public transportation. 

The last one in particular really speaks to Jaehyun.

Scrunching his nose at the crisp air, he exits the hole-in-the-wall café he usually frequents when he’s bored, the biting coldness of a mid-August day unfamiliar to him. The boy spent almost the entire day inside; switching between staring at the weather app on his computer and deleting emails from his overflowing inbox for two hours wasn’t the way he thought he’d spend the afternoon, but alas, waiting that long at the crumbling bus stop wasn’t ideal either. He much prefers being warm, caffeinated, and pretending to read a scientific journal than freezing his ass off on a metal bench. 

Anyone would think the same, Jaehyun shrugs to himself… at least until he starts nearing said bench.

Jaehyun stops mid-step when he spots something strange, side-eyeing the undeniably familiar blob crouching at the bus stop approaching on the right.

Why? Well, it's swathed in an oversized hoodie, has a keychain-ful backpack hanging low on its shoulders, and is suspiciously Y/N-shaped.

And if that doesn’t tell him anything, well, the way your eyes go comically wide when you turn to the right and coincidentally meet gazes with Jeong Jaehyun of all people definitely does. It’s the way he’s standing there like a runway model with his hood over his head, dimples on full show as he raises his eyebrows at you and his expensive-looking leather bag hanging off of one shoulder that almost causes you to fall over. Luckily, you pull yourself together before something embarrassing happens, like losing your balance and crashing into the road (not that it’s happened before, of course…). You’re well aware that you tend to get distracted easily, and you’re definitely in trouble because that man is one hell of a distraction.

Getting up quickly and dusting the invisible dust off your legs, you offer him an embarrassed wave as he approaches you.

“How long have you been sitting there? It’s fucking cold outside,” Jaehyun calls out, concerned, glancing down at your skirt and the way you hide your hands in your hoodie sleeves. Sidling up next to you, he bounces on the balls of his feet a little before stuffing his own hands in his pockets.

“It’s okay,” you smile down at the way your shoes match next to his on the sidewalk, “I’m used to the bipolar weather. Plus, it’s not that cold when you’ve got these!” Tucking your lip between your teeth, you rustle around in your sweater-paws before popping out your hands proudly in front of you. Nestled in your palms are old hand warmers, their heat fading but worth their purpose nonetheless.

“Only you would have hand warmers in stock during the middle of summer, Y/N,” he shakes his head in disbelief, but the smile threatening to take over his face makes his eyes crinkle up in amusement.

“Mhm,” you say, distracted as you see the bus pull up to the sidewalk from down the road, “I’ve got a whole box in my backpack. Who knows, maybe an ice storm will hit one day and I’ll be the only one with hands while everyone else’s freeze off.” 

He pauses in place, speechless at your comment. You simply shrug at him, as if saying that’s the way life goes, before nodding to the bus driver and climbing up the vehicle’s steps. “Don’t worry, I’d share mine with you.”

Jaehyun lets out a breath in disbelief. 

Your attitude is truly refreshing, and he can’t even begin to describe what a breath of clean air it is to talk to you everyday; he’s used to girls coming up to him with hidden intent, their eyes tinged with lust as they disguise their interest with false pretenses and flowery words. Flattery is what it began with, but after years of receiving nothing from their end while he found himself aimlessly hoping for someone genuine and it was disappointing that he couldn’t find even one. He’d wish they would just treat him normally and act like themselves, a person not afraid to be genuine with him and let their inner child show. 

It’s as he observes the way you hum as you climb up and give a playful salute to the driver that he realizes you’re the perfect balance of both, the maturity in you shining admirably at the times when it is needed while never acting like something you’re not.

Jaehyun blinks at your figure before tugging on your arm to move around you, swiping his bus pass twice before you can even register what’s happened. He lets a smug grin take over his face before pulling you to the back of the bus and plopping down beside you.

“Thank you for paying for me,” you tilt your head at him, tucking your card back into your pocket. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to, though.”

You give him a grateful smile before remembering something that you had meant to show him, pulling out the walkman you found in your grandmother’s cellar yesterday from your backpack, a dusty old thing that still works perfectly fine. Looping its built-in headphones around your neck, you tilt the player towards him before offering him the small device. Turning it around in his hands, he gapes in undeniable awe as he taps the plastic cover with intrigue. 

You knew he’d like it.

“I haven’t seen one of these in so long. Whose grave did you raid to get this, the hell?”

“Found it yesterday in my grandparent's cellar, and before Taeyong got his hands on it. I thought that you’d find it interesting so I was planning on showing you later this week, but hey, look who I happened to run into today.”

He simply shakes his head before bringing the machine up to his eyes and popping open its cover, a finger coming up to trace the dust out of the inside of it.

“Do you have a cassette to put in it or…?” he begins, looking up at you. You shake your head. “We can go to the vintage shop downtown later to get you some, if you want.”

“Really? You’ll go with me?”

“Yeah, Y/N. You’ve always got the coolest things to play around with, and we can go shove this in Yong’s face too. He’s gonna be so jealous.”

“You just wanna annoy my brother,” you snort, nudging his arm.

“You’ve got me there.” He holds up his hands in mock surrender before poking his tongue inside his cheek, eyebrows furrowing in thought. “Or… I could make you a personalized mixtape?” Your jaw drops comically, no words coming out of your mouth as you just stare at him.

“Are you being serious right now?”

“So, so serious.”

“If you did, I would actually lose my mind,” you finally close your mouth in amazement. “You’d probably be my favorite person ever.”

“Well, then that would be well worth it. I’ll work on it when I’m back in the studio at uni,” Jaehyun smiles genuinely, handing you your walkman back before swinging his leather bag back onto his shoulder as the bus pulls to a halt. With a parting pat on your shoulder, he mouths a goodbye before descending the aisle.

“This is my stop. See you at the party, Y/N.”

… 

When you had received the call on a quiet Saturday afternoon from Mark that he and Chaewon would be leaving earlier to help set up for Johnny’s weekend party — the one that Jungwoo and Jaehyun had only told you about just a few days prior — the possibility of not having a ride to bring you hadn’t even struck yet. You were too busy thanking your friends that they had granted you two more hours for an afternoon nap, and an extra 60 minutes to get ready; a truly ideal day in your opinion. 

It’s only when you’ve given yourself a final look in the mirror, admiring the new dress that you’ve donned at the last minute, do you hear the undeniable honk of a car outside. Brushing aside the curtains and trying to get your eyes to focus in the dark, you make a noise of panic when you spy Jaehyun’s car outside your house. 

What’s he doing here?

You'd spent far more time with Jaehyun in the past few days than you have in your entire lifetime, running small errands with him when Taeyong's not there and browsing through retro stores in nearby towns for old cassettes. With every hour more spent together, it felt like you were getting closer to knowing his feelings, and that in itself excited you to no end. He'd end every drive together with a knowing look and some sort of physical touch, and each goodbye left you in anticipation for the next time you'd see him.

Sprinting down the stairs and grabbing your shoes as fast as you can, you rush out into the street where the Mustang’s tinted windows prevent any passerby from making out any faces from the outside. 

As you approach the driver’s side, the window rolls down to reveal the owner of the car. 

“Hey,” Jaehyun grins at you, his pupils dilated and the faint smell of smoke lingering on his breath. 

It feels like forever since you’ve seen him, even if it’s only been a few hours since you last saw each other. You can feel your head fog up when you fully take in his appearance; with his hair slicked back and his button-up undone to reveal sharp collarbones and a dangling, silver cross, he looks godly as the moonlight basks him in a paper-white glow. 

“Chaewon and Mark had to stay later to help set up more and Taeyong’s been pregaming since six, so he sent me to pick you up. You can get in the back.”

You hum in understanding before climbing into the backseat, tucking your hands under your thighs before looking up at the front of the car. 

Your heart drops. 

“Hi,” the girl in the shotgun seat lilts, her bleached hair falling into wavy ringlets against Jaehyun’s leather seats. “Y/N, right? I remember you! You’re Yongie’s baby sis.”

You itch to fill the silence that follows, even though you assume she would have no trouble clearing it with her well-known, extroverted dynamic. There’s an unnamed tension in the car between the two people in the front seat, and it’s so intense that you could cut it with a knife.

You take shallow breaths, not sure what to make of your position. I’m sitting in a car with my crush and his former situationship— holy. How did we get to this point? She’s literally—

“—Lim Sae-mi,” you attempt to give her a genuine smile, flashing your teeth in what you pray isn’t an awkward expression. 

Saemi simply twinkles in the rear view mirror, her delicately painted lips stretching up before she twists around to observe you. 

“You do remember me! Look at how pretty you are too,” she exclaims, reaching back to pat down a strand of your hair, her voice laced with sticky sweetness. “You could be a model, just like Yongie. And your hair is so healthy, I’m jealous. Isn’t her hair so so nice, Jae?”

Jaehyun snaps to attention at the mention of his name, seeming to be in some sort of haze with the way he looks like he’s holding his breath for as long as humanly possible. 

“Yeah.” You find yourself wilting in the slightest at his monotone voice. Looking out the window as he starts driving towards the outskirts of town, you try not to let yourself be too disappointed at the way he loses such distinctive qualities when around the girl sitting next to him. 

Jaehyun freezes up when Saemi turns to him all doe-eyed, flashbacks flitting through his mind of the days when he’d anticipate the moments he’d see her again when they were younger. Strangely enough, the effect that she used to have on him — palpitating heart, nervous ticks, rosy cheeks, uncanny attraction — seems to have dissipated. Now, highschool-Jaehyun seems so far away, and their memories even further.

What’s changed?

“Um,” you start as you watch suburban lights zoom by less and less frequently, your brain working just as fast to eliminate some of the weird, awkward tension happening in the car. You don’t really know enough to make conclusions, but something must have happened in the past for them to react to each other like this. “How’s SNU? Do you guys run into each other often on campus?”

Jaehyun chuckles lowly, a tinge of uncertainty lining his tone as he waits for Saemi to answer your question. 

“Right, you’re going to uni next year right? Hmm… we don’t really see each other on campus at all, now that I think about it,” she simpers, frowning at the road in front of her before brightening up in less than a second. “But that's because Jae’s so busy, preparing to be a future doctor and all. He was always the smartest one out of all of us.”

You watch as he falls silent, knuckles tightening on the steering wheel as his jaw clenches ever so slightly.

“Hey, we should catch up sometime Jae,” she adds on with a tone like she doesn’t really mean it before turning her gaze to him, tacking on a noise of agreement with herself as if she's already decided that they will. 

She knows they won’t.

You watch their eyes meet briefly before Jaehyun breaks it to turn the steering wheel left onto a never-ending stretch of a lone, empty road.

Saemi’s a hard person to figure out. You know that she’s charming when she wants to be and firm when she needs to be, but you also know from Taeyong that she has a personality she can flip on and off like a switch; it’s almost as if mind games with the people around her are amusing, and it’s up to the other person to figure out what her true intentions are. It’s understandable why so many people find her alluring. 

Glancing up at the back of her head once more, you observe as she leans back with a faint frown before swallowing something in her hand that looks like a bottled shot. She looks uncomfortable as she shifts in her seat every few minutes, and you’re not sure if she’s more put off by the alcohol or by Jaehyun. Your guess would be the latter, even if her voice makes it seem like she’s the most confident person in the world.

You don’t even attempt to start another conversation, instead opting to roll down the window so that you can watch empty land flash by, an occasional plant breaking the smooth ground. The car picks up speed on its own with no other vehicle in sight, the only light coming from the rising crescent moon and a solo gas station situated further down the road.

The three of you perk up as you approach the oil refill and the only other car at the station, a big pick-up with dressed-up figures leaning out of its windows and sitting around the back cargo bed. You assume they’re heading to the same place you are with the way they all shout at each other as they pass a dark bottle back and forth. A boy gets out of the driver’s seat to walk over to Jaehyun’s car and lean through Saemi’s side of the window, shades pushed up into his hair and beads and cuban links dangling out of his shirt. You don’t recognize him, but you’re not surprised when Johnny knows just about every young person in the world.

“Jaehyun, man! And Saemi, damn, I haven’t seen you guys in a while. Headed to Johnny’s?” he exclaims with a loud voice and wide smile, reaching in to pat a long-lost friend on the shoulder. Just like that, the extroverted Jaehyun and Saemi are back, conversing with him as if their awkward energy and off demeanors didn’t just dictate the ride over. 

The guy notices you in the back when your eyes meet accidentally, both of you taken aback.

“And who might this be?” He smirks at you, gaze never leaving yours as he directs the question to the other two in the car. You smile back just to be friendly, but with the way he’s staring at you, you’re not sure if that’s the right way to go about things.

“Lee Taeyong’s sister,” Jaehyun speaks up, glimpsing back at you with an unreadable look. A look of recognition flashes over the stranger’s face as his mouth opens in surprise.

“So this is the sister. Shit, is that why I’ve never seen her around?”

“Yeah.” There’s a bitter undertone to his voice, expression faltering before he raises his eyebrows with a smile. “And that’s why she’s off limits, man. I know that look all too well.”

You look at your brother’s friend in question, leaning forward, but Jaehyun doesn’t even glance at you. Both of you know that Taeyong isn’t really the overly protective type, so why would he say that? Maybe he knows that this guy is bad news, so he’s warning me. You nod to yourself, satisfied with your quick thinking. That sounds about right.

You’re about to offer a comment yourself, but you’re stopped by a—

“Lim Saemi! No fucking way, is that really you?” another shrill voice calls from across the expanse of the gas station, a former classmate stalking across the black cement in teetering heels as she waves dramatically at the girl in front of you. “It is you! I can’t believe we ran into you like this, you gotta join the party truck now!”

Saemi seems to recognize her, waving dramatically out the window to her friend. In a matter of seconds, the girl has pulled her out of Jaehyun’s car as she laughs at her friend’s antics of tugging on her wrist to string her along, drunk. Saemi throws you and Jaehyun a look that seems to say everything and nothing at the same time; if you were to interpret it in your own language, it would spell out: So sorry I’m ditching you guys! I love both of you to pieces but I’d honestly rather drink bleach than get back in that car. Hope you understand. Muah.

And with that, you watch Saemi switch cars in a matter of moments. The boy follows them back to their chaotic ride to Johnny’s after waving goodbye at Jaehyun, who’s watching them without any emotion bleeding through his stoic face. You can’t even begin to guess what's going through his mind as his eyes flick back to his dashboard, spaced out.

You pause.

“...and then there were two.”

Biting your bottom lip when you realize you mumbled that out loud, and you’ve genuinely never wanted to be six feet under more because the man hasn’t even said a word since she left you two.

Jaehyun freezes at your voice, almost as if he forgot you were in the car. Letting out an airy laugh after a moment, your shoulders relax when you sense that his weird, Saemi-caused demeanor has faded with her sudden absence.

“Wanna move to the front? It’s lonely up here.” You perk up at his belated response, excitedly getting out of the back to slide into the shotgun seat at his invitation. The man next to you seems to visibly relax, stomach releasing and shoulders drooping with less tension as he starts the car and turns back onto the stretch of empty road. 

The silence doesn’t bother you this time when Saemi’s absent; it’s pleasant and full, as if both of you needed this momentary break from nonstop life to collect yourself. Staring at the dust picking up along the wheels while the needle on the speedometer rises up and up, you find the scene before you therapeutic in unexplainable ways.

Jaehyun feels the same, his eyes spacey as one hand rests languidly on the steering wheel with ingrained muscle memory. The vehicle coasts past blank acres and rolling hills, the burning moon engaging in hide-and-seek as it appears and disappears behind their peaks. He doesn’t even feel the need to turn up the stereo as he usually does when your audible, light breaths are sufficient enough. It’s comforting in ways he didn’t know he needed.

You recognize how close you are to Johnny’s estate when you see the road before you thin into dirt and pebbles, a grandiose silver gate barely visible in the far distance. Behind the gate is the unmistakable gleam of polished stone, no doubt the road that leads up to the party and an onslaught of cars. If you concentrate hard enough, your mind can even conjure up the deep bass of the music that the host prefers at his mixers, their heavy resonance flowing through the thick soil to the bottom of Jaehyun’s car and all the way up to the soles of your feet.

You’re just about to point your strange observance out when Jaehyun makes a sudden swerve, pulling off to an edge of mangled weeds and tree roots, the car rolling to a shuttering stop just before a barren field of dead plants. Your body lurches forward a bit with the movement, the boy apologizing profusely when he sees you adjust your seatbelt with confusion written all over your expression.

“Fuck, sorry sorry sorry,” he mumbles, moving his hand in front of you as if you could fall out of your seat at any minute. “I just… the stars are stunning right now, we gotta stop for a sec. You don’t mind if we…”

He trails off, distracted, as he pulls the car door open hastily, rushing out to take in the night sky in its full glory. It’s as if he doesn’t move fast enough, the stars will pull a disappearing stunt on him.

It’s endearing to see Jaehyun like this, a smile subconsciously finding its way onto your face when you spot him bouncing on the balls of his feet lightly. His eyes are completely enamored with the sight above him, neck craned up at an odd angle to see everything; from the way his fingers dig into his palms in excitement to the cold flush on his cheeks from the biting evening chill, it’s like he doesn’t know what to do with himself when encountering such a beautiful product of mother nature. 

The thought of Johnny’s party evaporates from both of your minds as you find yourself mirroring Jaehyun’s position. 

After a few minutes of stillness, he looks at you with the very stars from the sky in his eyes.

“Can we stay here for a bit?”

He beams at your “of course” before hoisting himself onto the cool hood of his Mustang and offering a hand out for you to grab. Pulling you up onto the spot beside him with a huff, he pulls your wrist to shift your body closer to his before smiling contently to himself. 

You try not to let your mind spiral at his warm touch, instead focusing your attention on the blanket of constellations that greet you from the inky stretch of night sky. The cold metal of the hood cools your burning skin as your legs stretch out in front of you, skin ghastly as your arms support your weight from behind you.

When he hears your faint intake of breath, Jaehyun allows his eyes to leave the pretty view above him to the pretty view beside him for a few seconds, letting them linger on your side profile as you stare up in awe. They fall from the slope of your nose to the open curve of your lips, circling around your neck and raking over the ornate gems decorating your skin. You’re breathtaking in 1001 ways, and it’s such a pressing realization that he blinks away in shock when your gaze suddenly meets his. 

“Do you do this often?”

“When I need to get away for a bit. All of my best ideas come to me at night, I think. There’s just something about darkness and non-artificial light which is curiously inspiring.”

You nod, leaning back on the windshield and resting your head against its glass. Nighttime lets you think in the abstract, where the shadows don’t take shape and remind you to think in a direct and methodical way. 

“I get that,” you empathize. “After Taeyong left, I used to climb onto my roof after dark and just sit there alone for hours. I wouldn’t know how much time had passed until I got back into my room, and to be honest, that was my favorite time of the day. It took my mind off things, even if it was only for a few hours.”

“You know, Yong and I used to do that when we were younger. You were too little to remember I think, but we’d go up after your parents fell asleep and throw basketballs down the side of your house to see how far they would bounce up… we probably hit your window too a few times. Only a few.”

“That was you?” you jut, incredulous.

“Oh, so she does remember,” Jaehyun laughs under his breath, playfully avoiding eye contact when you scoff at your brother and his' antics. “Anyway, I wanna go up there again someday.”

“Our roof? I’ll bring you.”

Jaehyun turns to face you.

“Promise? I’m counting on it, Lee.”

You don’t hide your bashful smile this time, looking away when the boy flashes his dimples at you. Your insides flood with warmth as you secretly bring the back of your hand up to feel your cheek, scared of its betrayal of your feelings. 

Jaehyun sighs, content, after a few moments, his neck lolling at the joint to stargaze once again. He feels entirely relaxed at this moment; there’s nothing that Mother Nature can’t fix. 

“History revolved around looking at the stars and just talking, you know? I wish I could stay here forever and never grow up.” 

You tilt your head curiously.

“Why, you don’t like being an adult?”

“Not that,” he shakes his head. “It’s more of, I pretend to be collected and mature and all-knowing, but the feeling of having no control over life magnifies as I get older. My head and heart haven’t grown up fast enough to catch up.”

“Jaehyun.”

“Hm?”

“You don’t ever have to pretend. It’s… it’s okay to not know what you’re doing or what the future looks like, and it’s okay to let yourself go at times too. Being an adult doesn’t mean always knowing the right things to do or figuring out every little detail right now,” your words stumble a bit as they spill out, but he seems to catch onto every word perfectly. “I’m scared too, so it’s kinda ironic that I’m giving you this advice when I can’t follow it myself.”

“We can trade words of wisdom,” Jaehyun offers more lightheartedly. “It’s so much easier to give advice to other people than to yourself.” You can’t think of a better way to phrase it than that. 

“And I think simply moving forward with what you can muster is the best we can do,” you add on. Jaehyun just stares at you as you talk, chin in his palm as he takes in your advice with sincerity. “Things will just come and go naturally as we go on.”

“You’re right. Time tells, Y/N. And frankly, you’re so much more mature than me.”

“Me?” You frown, surprised at the fact that he thinks you are. “That’s so strange to hear, because I feel like I’ll never be independent in the way that you and Tae are. Even though we’re not that far apart in age, I’ve always thought you guys were from a different galaxy, like fear wasn’t a word in your dictionary and maturity has always just come naturally.”

“It’s all in the way we carry ourselves, but maturity itself doesn’t come from this,” Jaehyun waves his hand around to outline your body in an imaginary circle, “but from this.” You watch as he taps a purposeful finger against your temple. “And you have more of it than anyone my age. You have a mind that people would die for, and I think that’s something to be very proud of.”

The wind whistles soundly as the two of you take in the world with new perspectives, sitting up a little straighter and legs just barely touching as he moves closer without even noticing. You don’t say anything for a while, and you don’t need to. He recognizes how you need a few minutes to let his words soak in, and that’s what makes you so you. Jaehyun knows you won’t just take his words on a whim and forget them ten minutes later; you’re the kind of person that internalizes everything he says with genuine feeling and gratefulness, and that quality is what makes you, in his opinion, celestial. 

“You always know just what to say,” you finally whisper, and he almost doesn’t catch it.

You receive no reply except for the most adoring look in his eyes as he smiles fondly at you. The breeze blows wisps of your hair around your face, and Jaehyun can’t help it when he reaches out to tuck a stray strand behind your ear. His fingers linger — longingly, if you dare say — before he makes himself pull away.

You’re scared to let yourself believe that you might have a chance this time; everything floods back and hits your heart at full power, and you think that your newfound connection you’ve found with the boy over this summer has trumped all of your past memories. Your feelings are fragile, and the way he looks at you is terrifying. He makes your heart race violently; your feelings from when you were fifteen don’t even compare.

“It’s too chilly for a summer month,” he speaks up suddenly, rubbing his arms and trying to lighten the mood. You shake your mind out of its storm of complicated emotions before offering a small smile back.

“Always speaking the truth, aren’t you?” You tease, playing with the hem of your short dress. Jaehyun makes a noise of agreement before a boyish grin stretches across his face. 

“Yeah, which is why Leonardo DiCaprio is not—”

“—UH,” You stop him mid sentence, shushing him. “Let’s not finish that sentence.”

“—peak acting which is why—”

“La la la lala,” you sing, covering your ears with your hands childishly and squinting so that you don’t have to see Jaehyun raising an eyebrow at you, amused. “I can’t hear youu.”

“I take back the part about you being more mature than me.” Only one boy is capable of making your moods flip like this, and he’s sitting right next to you as your laughs ring out in tandem through the night. 

Eventually, after a few more back-and-forths under the dark sky, Jaehyun takes it upon himself to teach you some astronomical terms. You doubt you’ll remember them, but he promises he’ll make it easy for you to hold in your mental library.

“You need to be prepared,” he stresses, “if you’re gonna come with me next time.”

“Next time… stargazing?”

“Yup,” he answers matter-of-factly. “Let’s see… there’s a triangle of importance in my opinion. The true triune, holy grail of astronomy.”

You watch him sink into his element, musing upon the milky way above.

“Stars,” he air-traces the Orion constellation slowly. “Moons,” he continues, moving his arm in front of you to point at the claw of the silver crescent moon. Jaehyun lets his hand fall, the tip of his finger grazing your skin in the slightest as it hovers in front of your heart. “And celestial bodies.” 

…

You mentally prepare yourself to get an earful from Chaewon as the drive up to Johnny’s resumes…

…two hours late.

In your defense, it wasn’t completely your fault. Jaehyun says you can blame it on him when she throws her fit at you being late — and boy, do you know she will — but you also know that when you recount what happened to cause your tardiness, she’ll excuse it. Partially. Maybe even throw in a sushi dinner and smoke sesh, then all of your sins would be forgiven in her book.

You try to distract yourself from Jaehyun’s sweet actions just a few minutes earlier by thinking about where you might find Chaewon and Mark when you get there; maybe the drink-stocked kitchen, where Mark will surely be… or outside, where people like Chaewon usually go with their ziploc bags and scratched-up lighters.

Where would Jaehyun go?

You groan inwardly when you catch your brain drifting to the idea of the man next to you once again, said man driving with a dopey expression on his face as Johnny’s estate comes into full view. You can’t tell if it’s because of a well-needed down-time with the stars (and time with you, if you dare to think optimistically) or because it looks like there’s strobe lights flashing out of every window of the ground floor—

“—holy shit, they really went all out,” Jaehyun gapes, hands slacking on the steering wheel as you both take in the scene before you. “Johnny’s fucking insane. Maybe even like, should-be-checked-into-a-facility insane.”

Your eyes widen as the building unfurls itself before you, a mansion so grand that it’s comparable to Gatsby’s in every way. It’s got a certain vintage charm to it, something you assume Johnny’s parents built in homage to their roots with veiny, marbled stairs and towering Roman columns. The chaos that’s happening in and around the home itself, however, is a different story. You can see the drunk bodies already as they move around to invisible music, and waves of people climb spiral staircases up to the upper levels as they fumble drinks around. Silhouettes of the party-goers are littered across the vast, arched windows, stone trims decorating their sills with impeccable detail; the estate is truly a needle that shines brilliantly in a haystack of country homes, the nearest house being a whole 20 minute drive away. You’d been to his countryside home only once with Taeyong when you were younger, but seeing it in all its glory during the nighttime is a whole different experience.

“Nah,” you grin when he puts the car into park behind a train of assorted automobiles that cover the driveway. “He's that special kind of chaebol-insane. I propose not eating the rich, because what would the world be without Johnny Suh.”

Jaehyun simply chuckles lightly before getting out of the car and walking around to your side, opening the door before helping you out. You’d be lying if you said that the butterflies in your stomach didn’t just seize at his actions.

But nothing good lasts forever.

Just as soon as the butterflies come, they die off when you notice the immediate, uncanny switch in Jaehyun’s disposition.

You’re not sure if it’s the deafening bass-boosted music flooding into the air or the multitude of bodies in front of the house alone as the two of you approach the open door, but he seems to be pushed into a different element the closer you get. You recognize it as the one that you’d only heard of in high school, the one who frequented house parties on school nights with your brother, the one who shone in a room full of people, the infamous heartbreaker Jaehyun.

You can see the shift in his eyes, the way his pupils dilate slowly as they gain that undeniable gleam. You can feel his muscles lose a tension you didn’t even know was there, especially when he swings his arm around your shoulders casually, letting his hand rest against your collarbone. You can hear the calls of his wicked name already from both females and males alike, their shouts pulling him away from you as multiple people are drawn to him right away.

You recognize a few of them, hometown names that make their presence known as they clap Jaehyun on the back and reach out for intoxicated hugs. It’s also now that you realize the sheer amount that the boy you practically grew up with — the very one who spent his school day afternoons playing in your living room — changes when with other people. His popularity was never a mystery to you, but seeing it in person like this… he acts like he’s finally at home. A true socialite who flourishes when surrounded by people.

And you would never hold that against anyone, except until—

“Hey, Y/N, I’ll catch up with you later, okay? Promise.”

Ah.

His voice rings out flippant and unfamiliar, arm slipping from your shoulders like deadweight, and his fingers don’t linger on your skin longingly this time. Without looking back, he’s swept away by a myriad of high school friends as they drag him off to only God knows where. They hand him drinks and jostle around with each other between heated bodies, his silver rings glinting under the lights as he throws his head back for a bitter shot.

You watch as their forms retreat into the depths of the party until the shadows swallow him up and your eyes can’t follow him anymore. 

Left to hover awkwardly by yourself at the door of Johnny’s house with no drink in hand and a bewildered twist in your expression, suddenly, all the moments that have led up to now feel like a fever dream. Everything just happened so fast. One minute he’s next to you, and you’re sure you’ve fallen again. Hard. And the next moment he’s gone with the wind, like a figment of a dream flickering in and out of consciousness. Sure, you hadn’t expected to spend the whole night with him, but you thought that after your many little talks he would want to stay with you a little longer than three seconds.

At least he promised to find you later, but you’re still left feeling unsure about where you stand with him in contrast to the bubbling feeling of affection you had felt earlier in the night. The way he acts is giving you emotional whiplash.

I have to find Chaewon and Mark, you think to yourself suddenly, trying to shake your head of Jaehyun-related thoughts. The way he’s plagued your thoughts far too many times these past few months terrifies you, and it feels like you’ve lost your mind for real this time. You’re charged with a new determination to not think about the boy until he comes back to you himself. It’s not worth ruining your night over maybe’s.

Weaving through sweaty figures and waving instinctually at the people who happen to recognize you, you find yourself in a sort of trance as you strain to catch a glimpse of one of your friends. The bass-boosted music fills your ears with a heavy buzz as you make your way through what feels like hundreds of people.

A cold hand abruptly reaches out to grasp your wrist when you approach the closed off kitchen, causing you to cautiously glance back at its owner with your other arm ready to push them off.

“Babe, what are you doing here all alone?”

You jump slightly before giving him a childish slap on his arm as a grinning Mark reaches out to embrace you, and the strong smell of twisted tea pungent on his breath. His hand comes up to tuck your head into his neck familiarly, an old habit from when you were young that tends to come out in his drunk endeavors.

“You scared me,” you mumble into his shirt, voice muffled by the fabric. “I was trying to find you, but there’s literally thirty million people in this damn house.”

Feigning hurt, Mark pulls away to put a hand to his heart. “You can’t recognize me from a house away?” His sarcasm makes you squint at him, your hand reaching out to tug him along with you.

“No, Mark. I actually can’t recognize you from a house away,” you bite back, mumbling an extra, “surprisingly too, because I could probably hear your loud-ass laugh from another country if I really wanted to.”

“Literally shut up.”

“Never. Come find Chaewon with me?”

“I-” Mark sighs, giving in to your pleading eyes. What can he say, he has a self-destructive soft spot for his best friend. “Fine. But only if you get her to play one of the drinking games with me, ‘cause you never want to,” he tsks. You offer him an innocent smile before turning towards the back balcony. Gripping Mark’s arm tightly as the two of you make your way through clusters of people, you glance back every so often to make sure he’s still with you. You don’t want to be left alone again.

Again. Like Jaehyun just did when he said he wanted to spend time with me…

He seems to sense your uneasiness when you pause for a moment to look down, the fluorescent lights that lead to the back glass doors making your eyes sting as your fingers tighten their grip on his wrist. 

“Hey hey hey,” the boy pauses to move in front of you with worry creasing his brows. “You good?”

You blink away from him, mumbling an unsure “yeah,” before clearing your throat. “Yeah, I’m okay. Just got dizzy for a sec.”

Mark puts his hands on your shoulders carefully, eyes scanning the way your face looks more apprehensive than usual and your head isn’t held just as high as the Y/N he knows would. He’s had almost his entire life to study your moods and the rises and falls of your expressions, and he knows that something heavy is bothering you to the point where you’re letting him see it bleed through your normal, carefree facade. It’s something serious, and he also knows you’re not gonna tell him until you’re ready.

So for now, he simply smooths down any invisible tensions in your arms and straightens your posture for you like he would in your younger school days, gentle and nimble fingers adjusting the straps of your dress like a parent figure would. 

“I like this number on you. You should wear it more often.” 

“Thank you,” you smile gratefully at him, forcing your feet to move forward once again. It's not unusual for Mark to compliment you, but it feels particularly comforting tonight after so much of your confidence in yourself has been built up and torn down in a matter of hours.

You don’t let your gaze take in anyone except a potential Chaewon as the two of you finally make it outside, scared of potentially seeing someone you don’t want to see. Out of the corner of your eye, Mark gestures animatedly to the lit up garden, far fewer people mingling in its flowering, winding paths than inside. 

“Oh! Chaewon’s right there,” he pushes you lightly in her direction, a poised figure leaning, relaxed, on one of the ivy-slinked marble balconies. “I’m not gonna go far, but I’ll get some drinks from the kitchen for us and be right back, okay? I won’t leave you guys for long.” You’re silent for a moment.

“I’m sorry.” 

“Why are you sorry, Y/N? You’ve done nothing wrong, but whoever or whatever’s bothering you should feel ashamed for making you apologize for nothing,” he chastises immediately, indignant towards the fact he has an inkling of who’s made you feel this way. It pains him to see his best friend hurt silently.

You nod before he gives you one last pat and nudges you in the direction of Chaewon. She turns on her heel just as Mark leaves, face lighting up when she spots your form heading in her direction.

“Took you long enough!” She calls out over with a hand reaching out for you, her other occupied by a flute of some mysterious fizzy liquid. “I’ve been waiting so that we can try the colorful shots in Johnny’s fridge together. I know you secretly like those.”

You snap yourself out of your thoughts before managing a grateful smile as she pulls you into a side hug. “Sorry, the uh… drive took longer than anticipated,” you mumble, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. 

“Who’d you come with again? I feel so bad that we couldn’t pick you up, but the setup literally took the living energy out of me.”

You bite your lip nervously, eyes flicking to the night sky in reassurance.

“I came with— I came with Jaehyun,” you spit out quietly, already predicting her reaction in your head. 

“Damn, for real? I told your brother to call one of your other friends, but this is so much better. Did you guys get time to talk or what?” Chaewon lifts her drink to her lips as she waits with wide eyes, anticipating an answer that you know you can’t give her. If anyone has always rooted for the possibility of him liking you back, it’s her. 

“I don’t know,” you finally whisper, giving up as you tug your fingers through your hair. “It’s just… he’s a confusing person. Like yeah, we talked, but I can’t figure him out at all. He goes back and forth from being the closest I’ve ever felt to a boy to an almost distant stranger in a matter of seconds.”

Your friend’s face falls at your words, clearly noting how much you’re beginning to get stressed out over him. It kills her to see anything but a smile on your face, and the fact that it’s because of someone who you’ve pined over for so long is detrimental to watch. 

“Y/N…” 

“It’s fine. I’m making a big deal out of nothing, probably.” Your voice cracks slightly in the middle of the sentence, but you mask it with a quiet laugh. “I don’t think I’ve ever had a real chance with him to begin with, so try not to expect much.” Chaewon’s bitter smile reflects her inner confliction as she reaches out to take your hand in hers.

“Stop, don’t think like that,” she mutters. 

“But don’t worry, there’s still,” you whisper, putting your pointer finger and thumb up to approximate the size of the tiny moon in the sky above you, “a little hope. There’s always been.”

You nod to yourself, almost like a subtle reassurance. You’ve always had faith and confidence in your own feelings, and a little hope has never killed you. If anything, it’s brought you closer to Jaehyun than you’ve ever been, and getting to know him in ways that you were never able to has been a silver lining in itself. Just maybe… deep down, not in the way you know you wish you had.

“I love how you’re always been so sure of what you want,” Chaewon confesses. It’s both a blessing and a curse. “But tonight’s about having fun, okay? No use wasting time on a boy that can’t get his own shit straight.”

With a giggle, she pulls you towards the house once again. “I want to see you get wasted. His name is not allowed as far as I’m concerned.”

“Jaehyun’s name…?” 

“Who?”

You shake your head with a smile as she feigns confusion with an innocent expression. I don’t deserve my friends, you think to yourself, heart warming at how much they try to make you feel better.

“Come on, Y/N. Look around at all the people,” she laughs out in the tone of a true socialite as she tugs you towards where most of the partygoers are congregated, littered across every corner with their short dresses and sweaty skin. Noticing that your mouth is still tinged with a hint of apprehensiveness, she stops in her tracks and turns to you. “You’re telling me that you’re gonna let him do this to you? This night is for us, not waiting for a stupid boy that’s had the chance of a decade to love on you, pretty girl.”

She fiddles with your dress and smoothing down its invisible wrinkles as you nod along with her, mind willing itself to focus on yourself and your friends instead of—

Right. He doesn’t exist right now.

“And you look so good right now that anyone would be stupid not to feel lucky for having your attention,” she affirms, shiny hair tumbling under fluorescent lights as she beams at you. You can’t help but wrap your arms around her, the comfort of her mere presence and consoling words making your heart burn. 

“Love you, Chae. I think we should just date instead,” you mumble into her shoulder, her signature, bright laughter ringing out at your words. 

Her eyes brighten even more when she spots Mark appearing back behind you with entire bottles of liquor in his hands.

“Where the hell did you get those, my god,” she ooh and aah’s at him as your face lights up at the appearance of the boy.

“Johnny’s hidden stash in one of the guest bedrooms. He thinks he’s slick,” he snorts, putting a finger up in a shushing motion when Chaewon gasps dramatically. When you giggle at your best friend’s antics, he turns to look at you with a hint of worry on his face. 

You seem to have cheered up a bit since he left you to get drinks, but he also knows how good at hiding your true feelings you are. From poker faces to fake laughs, you’ve got it all under your belt. He just wishes you would just let go sometimes, but it’s understandable when he thinks about you as a person. It’s simply in your nature to be selfless, and ever since the two of you were young, you’ve never been one to bother anyone with your own worries. No wonder he’s worried as you crinkle your eyes in elation at him, a complete 180 from five minutes ago.

Glancing at Chaewon, she nods at him discreetly, seemingly having a conversation with just their eyes. You’re okay now.

Letting out a short breath of relief, Mark loops his arm with yours before pulling you into the lion’s den of a party haven. 

“Let’s get fucked up, hmm?”

…

You don’t know how much time has passed as you trudge through the garden with your heels in one hand, Chaewon’s fingers laced with yours in the other. 

You’re sure it’s been at least three hours since you arrived. No, two. Maybe four?

To be honest, time isn’t even a concept in your book as you swing your arm with your friend’s, a drunken-dopey smile on your face as you relish the feeling of the dirt and grass against your bare skin. 

Maybe you would’ve known when Mark had handed you the first shot, eyes flicking absentmindedly to the mounted clock in Johnny’s spacious living room — but you hadn’t cared enough then to figure out the numbers and read the time properly. In fact, you don’t think you were even thinking about anything except getting a bit of alcohol in your system. Forgetting was the first thing on your mind.

And boy, did everything spiral from there.

You recall vague bits here and there, from getting too close with familiar faces to being handed funky glasses with sparkly liquids. It was all a blur of overdue laughter and shots after shots, and you have to admit, completely letting loose for the first time in a while felt numbing in the most beautiful way.

You remember Mark drunkenly laying his head down in your lap at one point, tapping the hard liquor in your solo cup and mumbling a happy, “water fountain?” up at you. You weren’t seeing double just yet, but you certainly weren’t thinking straight enough either to comprehend his words fully. So, with absolutely no hesitation and a tipsy giggle, you poured the rest of the contents in your cup into his open mouth as carefully as you could (read: not careful at all). He had sat up with a cheeky smile, wiping the surprisingly dark, bloodred liquid from his bottom lip before it dribbled down and stained his skin.

Everything after that moment felt muggy, like a heavy blanket was wrapped around your head and knotted twice around your neck. You suppose that the alcohol added up at some point, pushing you past the point of clarity.

And suddenly now, you’re here. In the grass with Chaewon, doing only God knows what in a freezing night chill with your short dress and absence of a cozy summer jacket. You don’t even know how you got outside in the first place.

The cold air is good for you, however, as you can feel the blurriness start to fade away bit by bit. You’re not stumbling around as much anymore, but your grip on your friend’s hand is as tight as ever as you make your way through pretty flower bushes and onto a stone path.

“Oh no, someone dropped their phone,” Chaewon laments with exaggerated sadness — no doubt the alcohol talking — before leaning down to pick up the shiny device. Dusting it off with her fingers, she traces a frowny face into its glass, causing it to suddenly turn on.

“Jesus,” you squint into its blinding screen, mentally cursing the person who had the brightness turned all the way up and causing tiny white dots to appear in your vision. “What time is it?”

“You have eyes, look yourself,” Chaewon turns her head towards you dramatically, words slightly slurred as she throws you an unimpressed look. “But it’s 2:43 am. I can’t believe we’re still conscious.”

You groan, rubbing lightly at your eye before she’s talking again, swaying slightly as she speaks. Letting your gaze wander, you let yourself linger on the few people either passed out on messy lawn chairs or calling their friends for late night rides. Some are standing around like you and Chae, heads hanging down and clearly not in their best condition. There’s people with their arms thrown over the shoulders of their friends too, providing obvious support for their less coherent counterparts.

A couple half hidden behind the edge of the balcony catches your eye, your muggy mind inwardly gushing at how cute they are. You want a relationship like that. Their figures are hidden by the shadows of the house, but you can still see how the boy holds her forearm with care as he leans against the stones with her, head tilted impossibly close to the girl’s to display his full attention on whatever she’s telling him through her hushed whispers. 

“—it’s okay ‘cause we’re sleeping over at Johnny’s tonight anyway. And, he has like a thousand guest bedrooms so we can choose any one of them—”

The couple lean into the wall more, the light repositioning as they shift their bodies closer, obviously very comfortable with each other. The girl moves further into the light, shiny hair catching onto the glow as she turns in place. He chases her movements, following her into the beam of the balcony lights as their faces are lit up under the sudden absence of shade.

You breathe out.

No way.

“—and I’ve always wanted to stay at Johnny’s and experience that rich kid life, you know? I wonder what it’s like to—”

Fuck.

Fuck fuck fuck.

You think that your heartbeat physically stops as you take in the scene before you. Like a thin arrow slicing right through the flesh and tissue of your heart, and it’s violently humbling. Bruising, even.

Stop.

There’s Saemi. And there’s Jeong Jaehyun too in all his glory, looking at her with the stars glittering in his eyes as she tilts her head up towards him.

Your mind goes blank.

“Hey, Y/N, I’ll catch up with you later, okay? Promise.”

That was what, four hours ago?

Ha.

You sober up immediately, like your head has just just been ruthlessly plunged into a bucket of ice cold water. Like God himself is telling you to face the fucking music and come back down to reality. And if you concentrate hard enough, you can even hear your soul shattering, its pieces clattering down and settling at the bottom of your stomach because you actually feel like you might throw up.

I should’ve known, is the phrase that repeats like a mantra in your head, manically getting louder and louder as you blink in pain. Your eyes refuse to leave them for some reason, watching the way his hand comes up to rest on the junction between her neck and shoulder with a delicate touch.

A bitter taste floods your mouth. You feel like you’re playing a one-sided game of push and pull, and it’s worn you out; it’s not disappointment, or even jealousy that fills your body, but fatigue. It’s tiring to let yourself hope, and then get let down time after time and you feel stupid. Disgusted at yourself, even, for attempting to appeal to a boy who had never given you the time of day in the past even though everyone was aware of how blatantly obvious your crush on him was.

You’ve always prided yourself on how true to your own character you are, but in this moment, you feel like a child watching real adults in the real world. Two years' age difference isn’t much in retrospect, but at this moment, Lim Saemi seems like a whole generation above you. Her maturity shines through every part of her — from her gait to the way she dresses to the way she leans into Jaehyun — and you can’t help but let your worst insecurity get to you as they get impossibly closer.

It hurts, because he’s not even mine.

“Y/N, are you listening?”

You don’t answer.

And when the soft plush of his lips come down to place a gentle kiss against her forehead, you decide that you’ve seen enough.

…

Your mouth feels like paper, your head feels like it’s about to split open, and you feel like shit.

Blearily blinking one eye open and then immediately shutting it after getting a glimpse of an unfamiliar ceiling, you groan out loud before stuffing your face into your arm.

Somehow, the little bit of willpower left in you forces your body to get off of the bed you’re on, stumble through the darkness (you think you accidentally trip over a stray body on the ground too), and feel your way to the hallway. Your brain has completely shut off, but you’re also fucking parched and nothing will get in the way of you and water right now.

Your feet miraculously lead you to the empty expanse of Johnny’s kitchen, little sunlight reaching its pristine tiles at such an early hour. Glancing at the red clock numbers on the oven, you blanch when it displays a mocking 6:04am. You’re lucky that your hangovers don’t hit too hard. Pouring yourself a glass of water, you can finally swallow and lean back against the counter in relief as you take a deep breath.

And that’s when it hits you. That’s when everything hits you.

You almost choke on your water as your mind pulls last night from the depths of its sleepiness, from the drinking to the unwanted feelings to the sensation of blacking out. You remember it all.

Taeyong taking a body shot in front of you (scarred). Johnny making out with one of your close school friends in front of you (scarred x2). Mark handing you drink after drink. Chaewon leading you into the garden for fresh air. And… and seeing the boy you like with a girl you thought he had nothing to do with anymore.

Like a floodgate of torturous memories, your mind automatically replays every little interaction without warning as you throw your head back against a cabinet in regret. It’s as if you have no control over what you get reminded of and what you don’t, because of course, the first thing that flashes before you is the feeling you felt when you saw Jeong Jaehyun in the courtyard. 

His arm wrapped around the shoulder of Saemi’s as your best friend desperately vied for your attention, the girl finally following your line of sight to eventually see the scene you were watching in chilling silence. And Chaewon had noticed it all, from the way he smiled down at her to the very moment he looked up in your direction.

“Y/N…” she had whispered, the pity clear in her tone. You’d turned your head away quickly, not wanting her to see the tears gathering on your lash-line, but she couldn’t help but notice the way you reached up to wipe them away. Your body had gone into autodrive, quickly moving to the side to get away from the two as fast as you could. Chaewon reached out for you before turning back to glare at Jaehyun, surprised to see him already staring right at you.

He seemed unfairly distraught and guilty in her eyes, his gaze conflicted as his hands fell from Saemi’s face in a flash and hovered in the air in shock. A few seconds later and he snapped out of it, leaving her standing alone and rushing over in your direction, seemingly trying to reach you before you got lost in the mass of people inside the mansion. 

As he passed Chaewon’s lingering form, her hand flew out to latch onto his shoulder. 

Shaking her head at him — as if saying, you lost your chance ages ago — it was then that she truly felt awful about the inner turmoil her best friend was constantly subjected to when liking a boy like that. 

Wincing, you press a cheek to the cold marble countertop of the kitchen as all of your thoughts flitter through your consciousness at once. You wish the dull throbbing in your head would stop, and even thinking about it makes you shift uncomfortably in place, itching to just get outside and clear your mind with fresh air.

Fuck it, you decide, no one’s awake anyway. I need to get away, even if it's only for a few moments.

Pushing your hair out of your face, you finish your water before heading out. There’s an unusual smell of artificial roses as you move through the hallways and descend the grand staircase; it’s eerie to walk in a silent house, all of the hallways dark and stoic. Johnny’s mansion looks like a mini natural disaster with the way decorations and bottles are strewn across its marble floors, almost like savages making use of a castle. It’s like a presentation of physical evidence of what took place last night.

Finally making it outside into the crisp morning air, you relish in the chirping of the songbirds and empty expanse of a dew-tipped garden. Taking a deep breath, you shiver slightly before heading down a small hill behind the garden. You recall there being a lake behind the property that Taeyong and Johnny used to bring you to when you were younger, one with a small dock that retreated far enough into the water that you could be alone without having the urge to constantly look towards the house again.

You don’t expect anyone to be awake — or even outside — this early, but it comes as a surprise when you almost trip over a figure sitting on the bottom-most stone step. Putting a hand to your heart, your eyes widen as they turn to look up at you.

“Oh… hi. I didn’t expect anyone would be awake this early.”

“Yeah, I just needed some fresh air,” you say, nervously playing with the hem of your shirt. “So I’m going down to the dock…”

“Ah. I see… um. You- you wouldn’t mind if I joined you, right?”

…

Life is funny sometimes.

As you swing your legs gently above the light waves, you can’t help but think about the irony of the situation you’re in. You bite your lip before turning to the person next to you, their knees pulled up to their chest as they stare out into the water. 

“Saemi…”

The girl turns to you, a hesitant smile on her face as she reaches out for your hand.

Lim Saemi takes your fingers between hers before letting out a deep sigh, the talkative persona she normally holds, gone, as she looks between each of your eyes. The hesitance between the two of you is awkward in a way. You’ve never had a full conversation with her and you’ve always assumed things about her based off of others’ recountings, but she couldn’t be more different now. 

The little imaginary devil on your shoulder shakes her pitchfork at you, as if saying, “you should be hating her, remember?” 

You look down to hide your slight frown.

“I think we have a lot to talk about,” she starts, voice tentative and slow as she purses her lips in contemplation. You still. Nodding your head, you let her move closer to you on the wooden planks of the dock before she makes eye contact with you again.

“You know, sometimes it scares me how alike you and Taeyong look. It’s like staring into a mirror image, and I feel like I see memories in you that I associate with your brother.” 

You cock your head at her words. “...we’re pretty similar people too, I think,” you whisper back, an automatic smile reaching your face as your mind finds its own way to him.

“I think so too,” she grins. “Actually, Taeyong and I have been friends for a long time, and he’s always speaked of you so fondly that I couldn’t help but anticipate meeting you. I would see glimpses of you here and there, and he would constantly mention his baby sister and how much he worried about her. He was the best older brother, and anyone could see it.” She pauses, taking in a deep breath. “Yet he treats his friends the very same way, with the same adoration and care. It doesn’t matter how much Taeyong will grow in the future with his escalating popularity and growing talent in music, he’ll always have the kindest soul in my eyes. I’m genuinely so thankful for him, Y/N.”

To hear someone speak about your brother like that triggers an emotion in you that you didn’t even know you had, gaze curious as you wait for her to continue.

“I don’t really know how to start this conversation to be honest, but- I bet you know how hard high school is.” You nod, grimacing at all of the particular more negative memories you have. “You’re balancing on that fine line between feeling too adult to be in school and feeling too childish to live your own life yet, and I, for one, most definitely didn’t know how to deal with such a sudden change in my social and academic surroundings. I think I changed physically a lot then, too. My face, my body, everything. I started morphing into someone that I couldn’t recognize in the mirror, and I came to the realization that boys liked me first for my appearance, not my personality. And… and you know what I regret the most? I learned how to use my body as a weapon.”

“I learned how to change the way I talk, how to talk to boys so that I could get them to do what I want, and suddenly, everything changed even faster. People flocked to me, which is what I had always secretly wanted, but the person that they wanted wasn’t me. I had flown a bit too close to the sun and now I was stuck with this facade that I couldn’t get rid of. It was never just ‘Saemi,’ I was always simply the object of their desires, something to be acquired. And I had brought it upon myself.”

Recalling the Saemi you knew and recognized in high school, you have a bit more of an understanding of her now. She held up a front in order to protect herself, and as a result, she lost touch with her own self. Your heart hurts for her as you hesitate to reach out and offer comfort. 

“Your brother was the first one who understood me right away. We met in detention during our second to last year, and he saw right through me in the first ten minutes. Sat me down in the teacher’s empty chair and told me that I was a bitch for breaking one of his friend’s hearts.” She closes her eyes as she recalls that very afternoon. “Taeyong gave it to me plain and straight that day: I shouldn’t have promised false love to so many boys if I wasn’t planning to give it in the first place. Your brother may have been a player too, but the boundaries he always set with his girls made him a thousand times better than I was.”

You place your hand on hers, Saemi giving you a grateful smile in return. 

“I thought hard about myself and my decisions after that, and I decided that if I wanted to enjoy the last years of my secondary schooling, I needed to take back control of my own actions. After I apologized to his friend, he offered me genuine friendship in the weeks following, one without the jealousy and lust that I was always caught up in before. I had always been surrounded with so much toxicity, and he was able to pull me out of it so easily that I finally felt seen for the first time.” 

She pauses, glancing at you briefly before staring up at the sky. 

“That was also… the first time I met Jaehyun.”

You shift, staring down at your shoe laces as they sway lightly with the wind. 

Ah, you smile sadly to yourself. We’ve gotten to this part of the story.

“Your brother brought me along with him one day to one of his parties, and I had truly never been enamored with a boy that quickly before.”

You can tell that Saemi’s choosing her words carefully with you, and they hit a lot harder when you relate to what she’s saying. You’re certainly no stranger to his charm.

“We started talking that night and Jaehyun had somehow broken down all of the walls I had carefully built up within the first month of knowing each other. It was new for me. My personal mantra had always followed the lines of, ‘if they like what they see and feel, I might as well use it to my advantage.’ But it was different with him. I didn’t want us to be a one time thing, and I certainly did not want him to think of me as something who couldn’t do that kind of serious relationship shit. I wanted him to like me so badly without thinking about if I had genuine feelings towards him in the first place.”

She takes another deep breath, as if she’s collecting her thoughts, before leaning forward with an airy laugh and sadness clear in her eyes. 

“Have you ever mistaken love for dependency, Y/N?” 

Have you? 

You think back to all the people you’ve liked throughout your teenage years, ranging from hallway crushes to… well- Jaehyun. Your pupils dart to the water as you think about the idea of depending on a person. Do I depend on the people I like, or do I know when to distance myself?

You shake your head. 

“Jaehyun and I… we jumped into everything too quickly. It wasn’t even a right person, wrong time situation; we simply weren’t ready. We tried putting our all into this lone spark that we felt without stepping back and really looking at our relationship.” She stops to observe the rising sun above the lake, its golden reflection casting a healthy glow on her skin. Saemi’s beautiful like this, her feelings bare and raw before you as she lays out her emotions so vulnerably. 

“I guess I never really loved Jaehyun in the way he loved me. He was looking for something tender and real, and younger me was not in the capacity to give that to him. I tried to convince myself every single fucking day that I liked him in that way, but even I knew deep down that my I would never convince myself. I still had this lingering, detrimental mentality of seeing boys as something I could win over, and my fascination with him intertwined with that in ugly ways.”

Saemi’s face falls a little before she takes both of your hands in hers, eyes sincere as she peers at you. 

“The reason I’m telling you all this is because… I saw you,” she whispers carefully, watching your reaction. “Last night. When Jaehyun and I were together in the garden… I saw you watching before you walked away.”

Your heart drops as you look down at her hands holding yours so carefully, her pretty fingers encompassing your wrist as you unwillingly recall the worst emotions you had felt in a while. 

She saw. 

You only manage to get out a small, “oh,” before she squeezes your hand reassuringly. 

“Hey hey hey, look at me,” she leans down slightly to put herself at eye level with you. The edges of her lips quirk up in the slightest, her hair falling elegantly against her face as the wind picks it up and puts it back down again. “I don’t want you to misunderstand. Why? Because all those years ago, Jaehyun misunderstood, and I misunderstood, and it was all of these assumptions and forced feelings that drove our relationship to its grave. We were shit at communicating with each other properly, and that eventually hurt both of us too deeply to heal the right way.”

You nod at her hesitantly, taking in what she’s saying with a newfound understanding. Saemi sighs before smiling again at you. 

“I’ve hurt a lot of people in the past,” she says, forlorn, her eyes crinkled as she sniffs in the cold of the morning. “And I never got the chance to apologize to them properly. But last night, I finally worked up the confidence to revisit our high school days with Jaehyun.” She stops, leaning back onto the dock with her hands behind her. Her eyes close as she soaks in the morning sun, and you can’t help but mirror the position as your heart warms for her. “We finally got our much needed closure last night, and I was feeling a bit down afterwards so he was simply comforting me. And I won’t weigh you down with all the nitty gritty details, but we were able to see our ending all the way through without letting our emotions get in the way.”

You can’t help but reach out and hug the girl, your arms wrapping comfortably around her shoulders to express your awe and gratitude. With a little noise of surprise, Saemi pauses for a few seconds before embracing you back. Everything makes more sense now, and you can’t help but feel a little ashamed for jumping to conclusions so easily. 

“I’m so grateful that you shared all that with me,” you mumble into her shirt, her chuckle ringing out into the lake as she rubs your back like an older sister would. 

“Of course. If anyone deserved to hear all of this, it would be you.”

“Why?”

Saemi snorts, pulling back from your hug before lifting an eyebrow at you. 

“Oh please, Y/N, you should see Jaehyun from everyone else’s eyes. We can all see the way he looks at you.” Your mouth drops open slightly, tilting your head in confusion. 

“He looks at me a certain way?”

“God, I have never met two more stupid people in my lifetime,” she groans, bringing her fingers up to her temple. “And I say this lovingly, of course.”

With a fond look on her face, she nudges your shoulder. “But I’m really glad Jaehyun has someone like you.”

You bashfully look down at the water, a rosy blush creeping up your cheeks at her words. You were never 100% sure of where you stood with him, but that familiar feeling of hope has started to creep up once again. Could I go through that again, though? That same push and pull?

Seeming to sense your sudden aversion, Saemi loops her arm through yours in one smooth motion and sets your hand in her lap.

“Hey. Promise me you’ll go talk to him?”

You hesitate to reply, mouth dry as you think about everything she’s poured out to you. You think about your own feelings, and you think about the possibility of having something more with Jaehyun. You think about his history with Saemi, and how this issue of communication has ruined your confidence so many times. But what is it all worth if you don’t try?

With a slow nod, you offer her a reassuring smile before dusting off your clothes and standing up. “Promise.”

Saemi grins at you.

“That’s my girl.”

“Jaehyun?” she asks, putting a hand out on his arm as he looks behind her, distressed. She’s never seen him like this, a nervous jitter in his hands as his eyes dart around at the scene behind them.

Turning around, she just manages to catch a glimpse of a girl rushing towards the back of the house, her head downturned but not masking the obvious face of discomfort in her features. Her friend turns around to glare at them before following close after.

“Fuck,” he breathes out, chewing on his lip as he hesitates to run after your escaping form. “I fucked up so bad, Saemi.” Running a hand through his hair in frustration, he lets out a noise of exasperation as he watches you get farther and farther away. 

“What?”

“She’s leaving, Saemi. What do I do, what do I do,” he mumbles under his breath. “I just know she’s gonna think I hurt her on purpose. I always fuck it up somehow.”

“Woah, let’s breathe first,” she holds him steady at the shoulders, grip strong as she turns his body to face hers. “Breathe slowly.”

After a few panicked breaths, he looks back at her and attempts to inhale at a slower pace. A few seconds pass and he’s calmed down already, but a worried crease still flits across his features nonetheless.

“Listen to me, Jaehyun. Don’t leave her in the dark.”

His body loses tension bit by bit as he nods back a little, a heavy look in his eyes.

“We both know how that feels, better than anyone.”

…

Twenty-three missed calls.

That’s how many you’ve accumulated over one day.

You do the math on your bedroom ceiling as you lay splayed out on the mattress like a starfish. Each glow-in-the-dark, plastic star represents a missed call, and they swim across your vision as you point up at them with your hand to count them. 

There’s seven from Mark, another seven from Chaewon, four from Taeyong, one from Johnny, and the remaining four? Mentally moving the glowing stars across the solar system of the ceiling, you pick four of the brightest glowing stars before keeping them hidden in a little group at the corner of your eye.

4 missed calls from Jeong Jaehyun, your phone reads from beside you on the mattress, the screen habitually lighting up throughout the day.

Your hand itches to grab it and just call him like you so desperately want to, but you exercise self-restraint as you roll over and stuff your face into your pillow. It’s unfairly hot tonight — the sticky, humid type —  and being surrounded by all of your fluffy blankets and pillows does nothing to help your condition, but you don’t want to move out of your room. Letting out a muffled scream into the fabric, you groan to yourself when you realize that all of the problems floating around in your head won’t just magically disappear.

A normal Sunday would have gone like this: waking up mid afternoon with an abnormally large appetite, eating the entire contents of your kitchen to your heart’s content, and then going back to bed. Unfortunately, today was a bit different.

For the entire day, you’ve been busy. Busy thinking.

You had quickly left Johnny’s estate after your talk with Saemi early in the morning, borrowing one of Johnny’s cars from his garage and leaving him a little note that you’d return it soon (to be honest, you doubt that he’ll even notice). You’ve been in your room ever since. 

With your eyes trained out the window, your record player ran through entire sets of albums as you lay on your bed in contemplation for the entirety of the afternoon. The fan in your room barely kept you cool as it picked up the fabric of your sundress every few minutes, marking another block of time that had gone by without you getting up and doing something about your position. 

You let out a humph before throwing an arm over your eyes and retreating back into deep thought.

I’ve been distancing myself from him the entire day, and that’s the opposite of what I want to do, right? I’m turning into exactly what Saemi warned me not to.

Biting your lip, you turn your body over to stare at your motionless phone. But what should I do?

In a single impulsive movement, you reach out to grab the device before you can change your mind. Your fingers lead you to your contacts before your brain can catch up.

You can’t even fully register what you’ve just done, but Jaehyun’s name flashing across your screen certainly makes it all very much real, your phone waiting for him to pick up on the other side of the line. Your face gets hotter and hotter as the seconds tick on, the beeping of a no-caller reply heightening your nerves.

Finally, with a little click from your hand, he picks up. Your eyes widen. You really didn’t really think this through; now you had to actually talk to him.

“Hey,” Jaehyun sounds out, his voice breathless. “I- are you okay?”

“Yeah.” At least I think I am, you add on to yourself, grimacing. “Um… are you free today?”

“Am- am I free today? Yes! I mean yes, yes I’m free today.” 

You can’t help but smile at the way he trips over his words a bit, his nervousness bleeding over your speaker. 

“Well then, rooftop at mine at 10?”

“For real?” Jaehyun exclaims, checking the time on his alarm clock. That’s in twenty minutes. “Wait, I’ll be there. I promise.”

And with that, the two of you hang up with a million unspoken words and unfinished sentences. You let out the breath you were holding in, because you genuinely thought you would pass out when you heard Jaehyun’s voice again after finding out all that you did. Throwing yourself against your bed, you let yourself indulge in your feeling of hope again.

“He’ll be here,” you sigh in happiness to yourself. You relax into your pillows before springing up immediately, a look of horror taking over your face. “Oh my god, he’ll be here.”

Rushing around your room with a newfound energy, you make sure you don’t look like you just rolled out of bed (although you technically did just roll out of bed, but he doesn’t have to know that) before unlatching the window of your bedroom and carefully climbing out onto your roof.

It’s well past dusk now, and the sky is abnormally clear with not a single cloud in sight. The moon shines brilliantly in its place as it casts an eerie glow on the panels you’re sitting on, their bumpy texture making it seem like the material is constantly shifting. 

You let yourself go for a moment, resting your head in the palms of your heads before staring out at the roofs of your city. They create a complex, urban terrain: a mix of timely balconies and rooftop gardens, orange lanterns and fairy lights alike. 

The beeping of a car horn brings you out of your daze. Peering down into the street below you, a familiar, classy black car is visible through all of the telephone lines. 

Okay Y/N, deep breaths. 

Jaehyun gets out of the front seat, immediately looking up in hopes of catching a glimpse of you before you notice he’s there. However, when his eyes follow the length of your house up, he finds that you’re already staring at him with an unreadable expression. 

He doesn’t think he’s ever felt this nervous in his life. With cold hands, he lifts himself onto the electrical box beside your house before climbing up onto the slope of the roof, climbing over to you with an uneasy smile on his face. 

“Hey.”

You tuck your chin into your arms, leaning forward to look at him curiously. “You could’ve taken the window, you know, but that works too.”

“What’s life without any risks, hm?”

As he settles himself, you can’t help but think that there’s a double lining to his words. “That’s the most Jaehyun-esque thing I’ve ever heard.”

His laugh warms your heart in a way you didn't know it could.

The first few moments are quiet, just two pairs of eyes looking up at the stars before Jaehyun breaks the silence with a small cough. 

“We got lucky, there’s no clouds tonight. Pure stars.” You look over in his general direction, his gaze not even directed towards the sky anymore. 

He pauses, so you turn and happen to meet eyes at the same time. Both of you open your mouths to talk, prompted by the invisible tension between you. 

“Let me just say that—“ 

“I just wanted to tell you—“ he starts at the same time you do, eyes widening when you both go quiet once again. “You go first.” Giving him a grateful smile, you think a bit about how to express yourself before twisting your body completely so that you’re facing him. 

“I just wanted to apologize first,” you start, holding up a hand when Jaehyun starts to protest. “Wait. I really want to tell you this before I get too nervous to.”

“I know everyone was worried when I went kinda off the grid this morning, but I needed some time alone with my thoughts. I shouldn't have ignored you like that, especially when things seemed so off between us. This is really hard to say to your face but,” you glance away from him as he waits patiently for you, “I always feel this rush of different emotions whenever I’m around you. And sometimes it’s confusing, but other times—“ stopping to exhale, you notice Jaehyun’s grin from the corner of your eye. 

“Hey, why are you laughing? I’m trying to be serious right now,” you whine. He simply puts his hand up to his mouth to hide the elated expression on his face. 

“You’re just too cute, that’s all,” he replies adoringly, his eyes creasing behind his hand. 

“I can’t take this,” you mutter in embarrassment, stuffing your face into your arm to hide the blush of your cheeks. “See! Stuff like that. You make me experience, like, thirty different emotions at once.”

He simply giggles at you, throwing out a little “my bad,” but he doesn’t sound very sorry at all. You nudge him in the arm.

“Sorry sorry, Y/N. Wait, I’ll be serious now.”

Both of you taking deep breaths, you put your hand up to your heart to calm its erratic beating as Jaehyun composes his expression back to normal. 

“I really wanted to apologize too.”

You glance at him in surprise as the words leave his mouth, sincere and heavy. 

“I’ve been pretty shitty to you, and I recognize how confusing it must have been for you to watch me constantly go back and forth between different personas. Honestly, being back home forced me to face the people here, and suddenly I was thrown into this internal conflict between my high school life and my present self. That’s still no excuse for how many mixed signals I gave you these past few months, but I want you to know that it was never my intention to hurt you.”

Reaching out to brush a small leaf off your shoulder, his hand trails down your arm until he’s taken your hand in his. You can tell how much he means it by the way he’s looking at you — like you hold the entire galaxy in your eyes. You think that you finally see a replication of how you look at him yourself; after all, it’s being reflected back to you right now. 

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“I hope you can tell, but I really like you,” he whispers, bringing your hand up to his chest. He wants you to feel how much his nerves are racing just as fast as yours. 

You think that your heart just about stops. You’ve dreamt of this moment since you were younger, and now that it’s finally coming to life, it’s unreal to think that he feels the same.

“I think you know how I feel,” you reply back quietly, looking down at your hands entwined with his. 

“Say it?” he asks with a pleading face, the corners of his lips quirking up when you roll your eyes. 

“Jeong Jaehyun, do you really think I believe that you didn’t know that I’ve liked you ever since we were kids?” Shaking his head innocently at your suspicion, he pouts in a manner that’s very unlike him. 

“Fine,” you give up, unable to hide the smile creeping up on your face. “I like you Jaehyun, I like you so much that you don’t even know how happy I am right now.”

“Oh, I know. Come here,” he scoots over before tapping the side of his shoulder with his finger. Not getting the memo, you tilt your head inquisitively before he reaches over himself and puts your head on his shoulder himself. If your heart was skipping beats before, it’s probably failing to beat at all now. 

“I want you to trust me,” he murmurs under his breath, his grip tightening on your hand. “I know I don’t have the best track record right now, but I’ll prove to you how much I like you.”

You furrow your brows in confusion. “You don’t have to prove anything…“ You wholeheartedly believe and trust in his feelings, but with the way he’s looking at you right now, you decide to humor him and raise an eyebrow prompting him to go on. 

“Wait, you’ll do anything?” You ask, looking up at the stars to hide your telling grin. 

“Anything. Even suffer through another one of those awful DiCaprio movies.”

“Suffer?” you exclaim, your head lifting off of his shoulder with his words. 

“Shit- no no not suffer. Who said suffer? You must’ve misheard me, I most definitely said enjoy.”

“You’re on thin ice, Jeong.”

He snorts at your threatening expression, an arm snaking behind you to wrap around your waist protectively. 

Turning his head to look down at you, you’re met with his nose almost touching yours. You can see every eyelash, every freckle adorning his skin as neither of you make the motion to move away. 

Jaehyun loses his breath at the sight of you so close. He keeps his teasing eyes on yours before taking that extra step forward to bump your noses together. Glancing down at your lips, he steadies himself so that his voice can sound as confident as he envisions it in his head. 

“Can I kiss you?”

“Please, Jaehyun.”

With your consent, he pulls you forward by the waist before slotting your lips together carefully. You’re not sure if it’s the pressure at which he’s holding you, or the fact that you’ve waited for this moment for almost your entire youth, but kissing Jaehyun is glorious. 

He moves a hand up to cup the back of your neck before pushing forward impossibly closer, tucking your hair behind your ear in one smooth motion as his mouth moves in tandem with yours. 

You make a noise of surprise when he takes your bottom lip between his teeth, giving you a little nip before licking over the skin carefully. The passion and lust that seeps through his tongue is made clear as the minutes pass, and your reactions only spur him on.

Th mix of his skin on yours burning its way across your body and the delicacy at which he touches you makes your heart alight for a completely different reason. Threading your fingers through his hair, you're delighted to find that that particular motion makes him shudder under your hands, and kiss you more like his life depends on it.

After a while of marking each other's skin and exchanging sweet nothings between his kisses, you tap his chest to pull apart for air, your breathless mien making him grin smugly. 

“I’m that good, huh?”

“Shut up, Jaehyun.”

…

The rings on your fingers clink with his as you hand him a metal camping cup, its silver surface hot to the touch even at night. Glancing up at Jaehyun, you laugh when you catch his skeptical expression. 

“The hell is this…” he asks in borderline horror as the liquid in his cup sloshes around. 

“Mark’s gonna love hearing that,” you remark, putting your own cup to your lips as you bring your knees to your chest.

It’s the most comfortable when you’re with Jaehyun like this, sitting on the hood of his car in the dead of the night to stargaze into the early hours of the morning. 

It’s been a few weeks since that night on the rooftop, and you’ve never felt more alive. From long drives with Taeyong to mini adventures with Mark, and from jukebox diners with Chaewon and constellation hunting with Jaehyun, you finally feel at home in a place you’re about to leave. University is close on the horizon, but that doesn’t mean you can’t spend your last free evenings with the people you love the most. 

“Is this your recipe?” Jaehyun asks, pulling up your legs so that they rest over his lap. You shake your head with a cheeky smile. 

“Stole it,” you whisper, scrunching your nose at the distinct smell. 

“And what did Mark’s creative ass come up with this time,” he laments back, taking your cup to compare it with his in confusion. 

“Our cups hold the same exact thing, Jaehyun. I didn’t secretly poison your drink if that’s what you’re thinking, and I know you are.” You take back your cup before taking another sip and taking a little piece of paper out of your pocket to read from. “But anyway, it's ‘orange liquor, orange juice, lime juice, maple syrup, sliced jalapeño, and agave blanco sugar in the rim.’ You can steal the recipe too, but don't tell him that I gave it to you. He’d murder me.”

“Mm,” he muses, nuzzling into your neck. “I wouldn’t want my girlfriend dead.”

You freeze in mid-air, mind turning the title over and over again in your head. “Girlfriend?”

Jaehyun sits up immediately, looking at you with the most mortified expression on his face. “Fuck, I never asked you to be my girlfriend, did I?”

With a small giggle at his antics, you simply lean against him and pat his arm in consolation. “It’s okay, I don’t need a label to know how you feel about me.” Jaehyun hums contently before suddenly wrapping his arms around you, your delighted shriek ringing out as he pulls you down with him and falls back against the metal roof of the car. 

“Can we just stay like this forever?” 

You sigh in satisfaction as your body follows the rises and falls of his chest. The stars above seem to blink happily at the two of you as they make their way across the sky, the little, twinkling lights of overpassing planes highlighting their presence.

Intertwining your fingers with his, he gently kisses the side of your face before closing his eyes.

Even if the two of you hadn’t realized it yet, it had always been like this: two childish souls crafting the idea of mature love. Two blooming young adults, with fizzing feelings and cherry picked lips, daring to love one another like the grownups in black and white colored movies.

Your summers are defined by sticky ‘n sweet cherry cola, rides around the abandoned carousel with your friends, and “borrowing” quarters out of your brother’s Cadillac to insert into the jukebox of the local diner. They’re tinged with the taste of Mark’s special drinks and Chaewon’s sweet words, with Taeyong’s cheery voice ringing out throughout your house and your parents’ weekly sitcom reruns. And most of all, summers are made of Jaehyun’s lavender cologne and the way he holds you close when you need it the most.

“Don’t be surprised if the moon calls you by name, Y/N, because I tell her about you all the time.”

…

<3 you can find their character profiles HERE.

[ for Y/N, mark, chaewon, jaehyun, taeyong, and saemi ]

…

xoxo

2023 © kiachiako | all rights reserved.

[stargirlfics]

cherry cola | pedro pascal

Sweet and steamy, just you and him 🍒

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, RPF, woc!reader, established relationship, soft boyfriend!pedro vibes, fluff, smut: size kink, thigh riding, oral (reader receiving), biting kink, unprotected PiV

Word Count: 3.1k

Wrote this for @natromanxv as a very belated birthday request! I love how it turned out and hope you enjoy, bestie! All my love!

Stars gleam softly in your eyes, the kitchen table the only thing keeping your bodies from scooting impossibly closer in the evening light. 

Neither of you had to speak, not in this moment at least, simply content to sit across from each other while the fuzzy scratch of a vinyl played.

Cherry pie and fizzy cola sweetened the air. Ruffled hair then a pair of gentle brown eyes belonging to Pedro swept over you, bringing out the warmth in your cheeks. 

He’d come over for dinner tonight, and though you were distracted more than a couple times with the inevitable shoulder bump rotating around your kitchen as you prepped ingredients together, there wasn’t a moment you weren’t smiling—or in a fit of laughter, god only knows who started it by now. 

You liked these moments best, when it was just the two of you getting to enjoy each other’s company. Something about his presence was so deeply calming you could feel everything slowing down. 

There was no rush, no urgency to do or be anything but yourself around Pedro and it never failed to thrill you. 

That’s how you felt now, watching him clear space on the table, dessert plates and that bottle of his favorite wine moved out of the way, making room for your hands to stretch out, the tips of your fingers meeting his before you’re passing lazy circles over the warm skin of his knuckles.

“How are you so beautiful? I could look at you for hours.” Pedro sighs and you’re beaming. 

The look on his face is soft and warm and you want to curl up against his chest, stray thoughts sparking at the thought of his arms around you; how lately his hold on you, the grip, the heaviness of his hands was stronger and you were more enticed by it than you realized. 

So you shrug, trying to hide the way your chest feels flush at his compliment, “Guess I do it without even trying…I never get tired looking at you either you know.” 

You tease back but there’s a little suggestion in your tone, making him shift in the chair, head tilting to the side while you watch him cross his arms, hands clasped and resting on his chest. 

Now with more relaxed posture your attention was drawn to his lap instead of his hands, right to the way his shirt had ridden up. Just a peek of his tummy under the fabric reminding you of how badly you’d been thinking of and wanting him all day. 

“Nah, this face? I think I have the best view by far.” He scoffs but his steadily widening smile matches yours. 

“Yeah that face, which by the way is depriving mine of kisses right now and I think that’s kind of mean.”

It’s the fake huff and pout you do that really sells it. His grin turns playful before leaning in, warm and steady hands finding a familiar home against the curve of your jaw. 

His nose just barely brushes yours before your mouths meet with a soft hum and suddenly you’re getting swept up in the way his lips taste like sugar and wine and how it lingers even after he pulls back.

“Can I help you clean up and you can pick what we listen to this time?” He coaxes you sweetly but you don’t need any convincing, his words are snagged just a second behind in your mind, however, still occupied with thoughts of him and only him. 

“Yes, please! Hope you don’t mind a little Lust for Life.”

—

Now it’s Pedro’s turn to be distracted, watching when you weren’t looking as you dried and put away dishes, your “concentrated on the current task” face so endearing he can’t help but sneak side glances as he finishes up washing the last few plates in the sink. 

He was happy that you looked at ease and took note of all the things about you that took his breath away, a whole list unending. 

The slope of your nose and those brown eyes, brown skin, the sound of your laugh like an anchor in unsteady waters, nevermind the caress of your hands, your skin on his, always reaching for him, it all made him feel like he was exactly where he was supposed to be.   

It’s not hard for him to find things about you he adores and especially tonight, it all bubbles up in his chest and he wants nothing more than to press you against him and kiss you dizzy. 

Nothing compares, nothing and no one can light that fire that burns so molten just for you, flashes of sunset on your features and the aura of love everywhere feeling like home. 

There’s flowers in a vase by the window, the same ones he stopped by to give you earlier that week, just a simple effort to brighten your day when he knew you’d been stressed. Reds and oranges pop as the sun bathes the sweet smelling blooms in light and Pedro smiles again, reminded of how your eyes lit up when he showed up at your door, your body melting into his when he scooped you up for a hug. 

Now, you’re speaking to him again and his focus is renewed, indulging in your suggestions for things to do with the rest of your evening together, knowing already that it didn’t matter what transpired, as long as he was here with you, he was happy.

Afterwards, your head is in his lap and the rest of your body is curled up close while a movie plays but neither of you are really paying that much attention to what’s happening on the screen. 

Pedro’s fingers brush across your shoulder and down your back while his other hand was draped across your hip had you once again distracted and restless, his hold is gentle but the sureness of his hands and the weight of his arms only made your core ache. 

You wanted him so bad and weren’t sure if you could keep it to yourself any longer. 

The couch is almost too comfy underneath you to shift from the position you’re in but the sight of his hands gives you the final push that you need, turning so you were facing him, cheek resting on his thigh. 

Looking up at him steals your words, caving when he notices and glances down at you with the softest expression, the one that’s especially soft for you. 

You almost don’t register him whispering hello to you, caught up in the streaks of gray in his beard and the ones peppered in his hair that are your favorite, down to his neck that you can’t ever seem to stop yearning to leave a trail of love bites over and the broad edges of his shoulders that carry so much without wavering. 

A million things race through your mind and you’re flustered when you whisper back, hoping he won’t be able to feel the way your cheeks tingle with heat but the pad of his thumb is already sweeping over your temple. 

“You know I’m really impressed with how patient you’ve been tonight. I’m trying to keep up but, baby,” his amused hum brings relief, “You’re making that a challenge.” 

He knows what kind of mood you’re in and it’s been mutual the entire night and even you’re surprised at the thrill that runs up your spine at this realization and at his praise for your restraint. You want more. 

“I just wanted to savor it.” 

“And now how bad do you want me?”

“More than anything..” 

It sounds like a plea and you’re not ashamed to beg but you are a bit shy about having your desire so displayed. 

Though there wasn’t any need for worry, Pedro always encouraged and nourished any of your wants, so leaning into the tension felt easy, just as easy as it was for your heart to quicken automatically at the sound of his voice. 

Watching him then, breaths shallow and the very center of you aching to be touched before you’re holding back a gasp, big hands hauling you to sit up, then nudging you across his lap. 

“I need you too. C’mere.” 

You’re already pressed close but he says it with so much love that you wrap yourself around him further, not needing to be told twice. 

There’s hunger in this kiss, pulling you in, knocking something loose inside you that pushes you to sink right into the affection you knew had no end. 

Hands roam, his, sweeping down over your neck and shoulders and yours bracing against his torso. His tummy is soft and toned and you can feel the way he hums in his chest when your touches move further up, just itching to rest on those strong shoulders of his. 

Your living room felt like a hundred degrees with each well placed kiss to your lips and then across your jaw, so searing even when he’d given you a second to catch your breath. Not that it mattered because your next breath came as a whimper when his mouth found a sensitive sliver of skin at your neck. 

His responding grunt and laugh make you squirm without thinking, rocking against the thickest part of his thigh, both of you sighing in relief at the contact and you find yourself chasing that jolt of pleasure with another unconscious circle of your hips.

Pedro helps you then, both hands keeping a steady pressure on your waist to give you some leverage while you find the right rhythm. 

It made you whimper seeing how much he wanted you to do what felt good, encouraging you to go the pace you wanted which only drove the sound of your little whines and huffs of breath to desperation. 

Pedro can’t decide what’s better, those sweet little sounds or the sight of you riding him looking so grateful for it or if it’s how you’re clinging to his shoulders with the same desperation that’s laced in your moans. 

Either way you made him throb, god if you knew just how much you affected him on the daily. 

As if you could tell what he was thinking you reached a hand down to steady yourself against his waist and the low gasp you let slip said everything. 

He’s hard and his jeans are strained and it makes you smile to yourself proudly, working your hips down on him a little harder thinking about how deep he’d be if you were riding his dick instead.

“Yeah there you go…so fuckin pretty, baby.” he praised you again and again, leaning his head back against the couch so he could keep watching. 

He coaxes you to look at him too and you can barely keep eye contact with how adoring and filthy his gaze is but you try, for him you try and you swear you can feel just how soaked you are from this alone. 

“Please, I need more.”

It drives you crazy still having all these clothes on and you can tell he feels the same, helping you take his shirt off when you tug at it. His hands then find their way underneath the hem of yours and pull it up and over your head swiftly. 

You move off him with some reluctance after that but your skin is still tingling and you’re being spun around just seconds later to face his knees. 

Catching on is easy despite your state of arousal; it’s haziness. You follow his lead, bending over a little and sticking your ass out, waiting patiently for him to scoot forward on the couch and slip your bottoms off. 

He’d never make you wait long, even if the seconds feel like minutes. Your feet shift in anticipation when the last scrap of fabric drops to the floor, heart racing.

His breath fans across your skin and you bite your lip when he kisses the curve of your ass, thick fingers grabbing and kneading flesh before tugging you open so he could see. A hushed string of curses make their way to your ears and you’re arching your back just a little more, hoping he’ll do what you think he’s gonna do. 

You peek back over your shoulder and watch too, his eyes flicking up to yours and you notice the flash of his tongue sweeping across his lips like he’s making sure he really has your attention when he moves in to bury his face in your pussy. 

The resounding groan from both of you is loud, wanton and you’re already reaching back to slide your fingers into his hair while he tastes you further, his tongue dragging the sweetest circles over your clit, paying close attention to the way your body responds. 

If you were soaked before you’re a complete mess now. 

Prickles of heat skitter across your spine and settle in your abdomen with each pass of his tongue over your folds and his nose nudging against you unabashedly.  

It’s enough to bring you to your knees, you can feel the way your thighs start to tremble but you keep grinding back, your grip on his hair balancing the tilt of your hips while his hands keep you spread open for him. 

He’s obsessed with how you taste, how you shudder when his mouth closes around your clit, how he can feel you clenching when his tongue presses against your entrance, greedy only for what he can give you. 

You’re so good for him, always so good and he can’t help but reward you, spoil you, content to eat you out until you tell him otherwise. 

Savoring every bit of this, you don’t realize how worked up you really are until you’re whining, needing more, needing him to stuff you full and make you forget where your bodies begin and end. 

Chants of “please” leave your lips in whispers, until the words are choked out moans. “Please, please fuck me. I want you so bad, Pedro…just please…” 

“Mm I will, honey. Turn around for me, I want you right here.” his voice is deep rasp now and you’re moving immediately. 

The air feels charged now, your blood singing, every part of your body feeling every bit of the tension coursing through you. 

Your knees dip into the cushions and you tilt your hips up high again, laying your cheek on the back of the couch, smiling as you watched him position you how he wanted and then finally, slip out of his pants. 

Something about being on your knees, perched over the couch like this while he stands so tall and broad over you makes everything feel so much hotter, your hips swaying a little, trying to be seductive and inviting now that he was stroking his cock, coming closer and closer until the tip was sliding across the slick puddle between your thighs. 

“Is this what you’ve been wanting? Just wanna be fucked already, huh?” he grinds against you, slicking himself up and you’re nearly panting now, nodding your head. “I’ve got you, baby.” 

You reach down to help him find the right angle as he presses against your entrance, pushing in slow and steady, letting you adjust to the stretch with every inch he gives you. 

“Ohh…” the rest of your moan is muffled but he can hear it, the slight strain in the symphony of your pleasure when his hips sit flush with yours. 

Pedro takes in the sight of you again, grinning when you look back at him, craning your neck.

He knows exactly what he has to give you, making sure you can see the flash of his length shiny with your juices as he pulls back just to push into you again, not holding back as much now that he knew you were ready for more. 

He loves that you can’t help but watch, proud of you for taking him so well and begging for more already, a hand smoothing down your back, massaging the curve of your hips before he grips you tightly. 

Your eyes flutter closed when he leans down so you’re caged by his chest, the only thing you can see or feel is his body now, moving against yours just how he knows you like it. 

It feels so good, every bounce of your ass against his hips, the way he peppers kisses across your shoulder and over your neck, fucking you just a little deeper each time. 

“Fuck, you feel good,” he groans against your ear and you’re whimpering again, letting him hold you where he liked, taking what he gives you, gasping each time he knocks against that spot that makes your muscles tremble. 

“Oh my god! Don’t stop, don’t stop!” your breaths are strangled, pushed from your chest with deep thrusts.  

His lips graze over your shoulder again and you think he’s going to leave more kisses but this time you feel teeth graze over the soft spot between your neck and your collarbone, biting down gently but enough to make it ache. 

It makes you push your hips back into him, crying out when his mouth stays there on your neck. His hips drop to grind against you giving you nowhere to squirm to and you’re sure you’re seeing stars when he snakes a hand around to your front, first pressing against your tummy before his fingers are circling your clit in tight motions. 

“That’s it, baby. My good girl, go for it.” he encourages when he feels your walls start to clench around him, knowing you’re so close you can almost touch it. 

High moans and curses bubble up from your throat as you’re sent crashing into your orgasm, your mind already floating listening to him talk you through it, tethering you to him and grounding you in your body as you rode out the waves of pleasure racking your body, his thrusts only slowing but never stopping. 

It takes a second for you to feel like you can breathe again but as you look back at him, this time it isn’t so hard to keep your eyes on his, your mood even filthier now than before and you knew he was picking up on it too.

Slick sweat covers your bodies and you’re aching for more when you reach back to touch him, your fingers pinching his skin just as he started to pick up pace again, never tiring of the slap of skin and how you clutched at whatever part of him you could. 

He hoped you knew just how much he desired you and cherished you always and if you didn’t, he was about to spend every hour he could reminding you. 

Dusk was settling on the horizon now and you were buried in the cushions, telling the man you loved just how much you needed him, just how much you wanted to cream around him again and again and it is exactly where you want to be tonight and every night.

Right at home.

———

A/N: Peep the Lust for Life Lana album mention 🍒🥰 I was listening to Cherry and then Cola pretty much all throughout the writing process and well here we are! Also wanted to say that I approached this fic with it being RPF with as much respect for Pedro as possible and hope that comes through in my words. I wanted this fic to have a ~passionate and loving but hot and dirty~ feel to it and I think it’s giving that so !!! I had a lot of fun with this!

Thank you so much for reading <3

some no pressure tags! @moreofem @wyn-n-tonic @kittenlittle24 @kneelforloki @pipsqueakkitten @daddy-din @blkmorticia

[quizzicalwriter]

Navigation!

Figured I’d put this together to help you all navigate my blog easier!

Rules / AO3

Masterlist below keep reading!

♡ = smut

୨୧ = fluff

☆ = angst

Masterlist

TLOU2

Bottoms Up ♡

Cola series: part one, part two, part three. ♡

Time ☆

The Outsiders

Cherry ♡

Coffee in the mornin' ୨୧

Dating Dallas HC’s ୨୧

Fever ୨୧

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Interrupted Television ♡

It’s you, it’s you ♡

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Love Her Madly ♡

Mercy ♡

My Love Mine All Mine ☆

One of These Nights ♡

PDA series: part one, part two ♡

Rendevousz ୨୧

Riverside series: part one, part two ♡

Sanctuary ୨୧

Somethin’ Stupid ♡

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Sunny ♡

Sweet Thing ♡

Torment ♡

[lolamarlowe65]

just spent 10 minutes blasting cola (cause lana gets it) and imagining the lotus position with james…

OH FUCK anon you just gave me an idea

James Hetfield x reader

“𝓐𝓵𝓵 𝓱𝓮 𝔀𝓪𝓷𝓽𝓼 𝓽𝓸 𝓭𝓸 𝓲𝓼 𝓹𝓪𝓻𝓽𝔂 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓹𝓻𝓮𝓽𝓽𝔂 𝓫𝓪𝓫𝔂.”

“It’s not just two horny humans anymore, it’s two hearts.”

one shot x reader

disclaimers : age gap (modern day james), smut, fluff, unprotected sex, cursing, smoking, for my romantic (but horny) james lovers, kids go back to ur parents <33

4.3k words

AO3 link

༄♡. 𖧹⋆✰

It’s a late Saturday night and my friend asked me to join him at the bar he sent me the address of. I don’t know this town very well. To be honest, I just came here because of him. I needed an excuse to move out from my old town and see something new and this guy I was talking with seemed like a good exit door. Truth is, this man is not as nice and good as he seemed. I’m the typical case of a woman manipulated and lied to just for sex. And even, I used him too in a way so if the sex is good what’s so wrong? But even this is bad. He only thinks for himself and himself only, not caring if I finish nor if I like it. He calls me, we hook up, he comes and then leaves telling me he’ll take me on a nice date next time. It never happened, and it will never do. I don’t even want to. I don’t even know if I want to stay here. So what am I doing here still running after him to be treated like shit? Here’s the answer, I just don’t have anything better to do. I don’t know anybody and I’ve got no idea how the people in this city are. So I go to every single one of his so-called “dates” waiting for a new day to start. When I find something better to do I promise that it will be passionate and most importantly; fulfilling. Fuck.

Standing in front of the bar I light myself a cigarette waiting for him. We usually have a drink and then go straight to it. Saying I’d need a drink to be able to hook up with him would almost sound like unconscious rape so I will not say that, I consent to this bullshit. But I definitely need something to drink to be able to listen to him and his tremendous fucking ego.

While I’m waiting I see this group of guys enter the bar. They look older than me, around their 50s maybe even if they definitely look younger than that. There’s four of them, one of them has long black hair nicely put back in a braid, another one has grey hair and wears a hat. To be honest, I just heard the third guy call him a “dumbass” so that’s how I’d describe him. This third guy has a very beautiful face, I must admit, with long curly salt and pepper hair. But this is nothing compared to the fourth guy. I think I have never seen a man that attractive, he’s quite tall and he’s got short white hair. He wears a black shirt that exposes his heavily tattooed arms. My fucking god he is hot. I can’t see clearly because it’s nighttime but I’m pretty sure he’s got ocean blue eyes. Which would be the cherry on the cake for my heart. I feel like I know them from somewhere but that might just be me. They’re all laughing and joking around and the fourth guy I was talking about notices me and says hello with a smile from afar. He must have noticed me creeping over them, shit. At least his smile is beautiful. I say hello back and leave them to enter the bar.

I can’t believe it! While I was lost watching over those guys I didn’t notice this fucking asshole was 30 minutes late! Fuck it! I’ve had enough! I call him twice before getting him over the phone.

*”- Yeah baby I’m sorry I’m late.” he says in an unbothered voice. “I had something more urgent to do.” he adds.

“- Something? That’s what I am? Something? You fucking asshole! Could you at least have the fucking decency to tell me you will not come?” i answer, obviously pissed.

“- Hehe sorry!” he laughs slightly. “It’s okay, you agreed it was nothing serious between us so just go home and next time I’ll take you on a nice date.” he dares to say.

“- What the fuck? You think I want to see you again? Get fucked!” i yell.

“- Do whatever you want, it's not gonna change my life much, you’re too frigid for me anyway.”

“- Too frigid?? Maybe if you knew how to use your dick properly instead of shaking it around in my pussy to come after 30 seconds I would be more expressive! What the fuck do you know anyway? You probably don’t know what pleasure on a woman looks like since you’ve never been able to give it to them!”

“- Bit-” i hang up before he can say anything else.*

I also block his number, he already sent me a few messages. What the fuck? I know I was not thinking too much about this but I won’t accept to be treated like property. I don’t want to waste this time I spent alone outside so I decide to go inside for a drink before going back to the shitty place I’m renting. That’s decided, fuck this town, I don’t wanna stay here. I’ll go fool around the west coast or lose myself in some mountains. I’m an artist, I don’t have money so I’ll see what I can do.

Sitting at the bar drinking my vodka I notice the guys from earlier in the booth on the corner. The light is still pretty dark so I can’t seem to really catch their expressions. Whatever man. My time at the bar is just me looking at those guys while talking to the waitress who’s also been with a lot of assholes that just wanted to play with her. Her name is Hailey, we got along so well she gave me her number. I don’t wanna get drunk so I just sip my drink slowly to retard the moment I’ll have to go.

“- Hey girl, stop looking over they must have enough!” Hailey commands with a laugh.

“- What do you mean? Can’t even see them well from here.” i answer, taking a sip of my drink.

“- They’re the guys from Metallica! They had some shooting for a video to do around here that’s why they’re here. I can’t believe they’d choose to come to this bar out of all the ones in town. I must admit that they’re actually pretty normal humans!” she explains.

“- What did you think, they were aliens?” i say, completely unbothered.

“- When your band is that orgasmic, yes. Like I’d love to meet a human man that could make me feel like they do.” she laughs.

“- I’ll drink to that!” i say taking another sip of my drink.

“- You look completely out of this? You not into metal?”

“- Oh.. I very much am. It’s just… I don’t even know what to think anymore with all that happened tonight. And I mean.. It’s cool that they’re here and all but what do you want me to do. It’s not like I’m gonna become their best friend. Here they’re just four guys sharing a drink after work.” i chuckle.

“- I guess you’re right.” Hailey tilts her head.

Hailey takes the tray and goes in the back of the bar to serve some drinks. I’m left alone for some time trying to think about what’s next for me to come. I can’t believe I didn’t recognize Metallica before, I guess I can’t see very well in the dark. So the first one was Rob I think, then the “dumbass” was Lars, the fourth with the beautiful face Kirk and of course James. The tall tattooed one with the black shirt, no wonder I thought he was hot. I always thought so. Whatever era of his, I think he’s my ideal type. If you saw the guy I was supposed to meet with tonight you’d laugh at me for lowering my standards so much. But listen. A girl like me could never get a guy like him. Plus, to him I’m surely a young chick who doesn’t know what she wants. It’s wrong though, I know what I want. Something deep and passionate with somebody that’s not afraid of telling me they care about me. Something adult. It’s 2023 and I can’t believe guys like this asshole I was supposed to hook up with still exist. Okay if you want casual sex but be honest about it and get sex education for Christ’s sake. Now I want a man like James. At least a man that’s like how I would imagine him to be. I laugh by myself thinking about how dumb I am to think about this.

“- What’s so funny?” a deep voice asks me.

I almost choke at the surprise. Here he is, sitting next to me. James fucking Hetfield. I also see the other guys leaving the bar saying bye to me and James with a wave of hand. I turn my head to look at James clearly saying it all with my face. What the fuck is going on.

“- Nothing.” i cough. “Just silly thoughts.” i smile.

He is so beautiful. His face in the light is even more satisfying to look at.

“- Seems interesting.” he answers playfully.

I chuckle slightly. But I can’t wrap my head around why he would talk to me. I should be the one here all “stars in my eyes” asking him how he’s doing. Wait? Is he flirting with me? I turn my head to look at him in the eyes and go straight to the point.

“- James? What exactly do you want?” i ask, trying my best to stay composed.

“- I don’t know.” he holds my gaze. “What do you think I want?” he smiles.

“- A bouncy young chick you’ll never see again to blow you tonight?” i sarcastically answer. “If you want just that from me you can get fucked.” i continue.

I had my quota of assholes for the night and I don’t want to have the beautiful image I have of James to get broken too. Now that would really piss me off. I deeply hope it’s not the case. That he does want to fuck me but also to care about me. That he wants to be this passionate and deep relation I was thinking about. Or at least hear he wants to fuck me good and well and respect me. Just that. Just this would turn me on. Just this I would be willing to risk. I can hear James laugh at my raw words. At least he isn’t the type of guy to get his ego crushed because I talked coldly to him.

“- Not at all.” he stands up and puts himself behind me while approaching my ear. “I mean, I would love to make love to such a beautiful woman but certainly not use her and leave. I see things in a deeper way.” he whispers.

My eyes got bigger instantly. That’s all I needed to hear. I look into my pockets for the dollars I need to pay for my drink. I put them on the bar and stand up, taking James’s hand and dragging him out of the bar. His hand feels so good I can’t even explain the feeling. It’s rough but soft and the way he presses my hand into his to be sure he is not mistaking my gesture turns me on even more. It’s not just lust. There’s something so romantic about this.

Once outside the bar I stop, realising I don’t know where the fuck I’m going.

“- Where’s your hotel?” i ask, pressed.

“- Just at the end of the street.” he answers.

“- Kay, let’s go.”

I start walking confidently but James stops me and makes me look at him.

“- Are you sure about this?” James asks.

How thoughtful. I mean, it’s the bare minimum but I’ve never been asked that before. The guys I have been with didn’t give a shit. They could fuck and so they did without asking me if I was completely okay with it.

“- And you? Are you?” i answer.

“- More than anything.” he cups my face with hands.

He’s taller than me by a good head but I don’t feel threatened by his height. His hands feel so good and his eyes give me so much admiration, I just can’t resist.

“- James…” i almost whisper.

“- Tell me your name so I can beg for you. Because this doesn’t seem real.”

“- Y/n…”

“- So fucking beautiful.” he lets out. “Prove me it’s me real and I’m not just dreaming that the hottest chick in this town wants to go back to my room with me.”

I know what to do. I slowly put my hand on the back of his neck to pull him to me and just like that I kiss him. His lips are so soft and hot, I never felt such a thing while kissing somebody. It’s so overwhelming that my heart starts beating at an unhealthy beat. But also, it’s so peaceful, it’s exactly what I want to feel for the rest of my life.

I let my lips go from him and look at him, studying the blue of his eyes. Something changed. It’s not just two horny humans anymore, it’s two hearts.

“- Shit.” i hear James say.

He takes my hand back and this time, he is the one leading the way, being careful with every step I take for me not to be lost. I don’t know what he’s thinking and that makes me feel a mix of excitement and fear.

When we arrive in front of his hotel my heart starts to pound again. What is about to happen? Is he really in for it? If I mistook what he wanted from me I could at least say that I fucked Metallica’s singer. At least. That’s what I repeat myself. But the other part of my brain tells me to let go and see what’s gonna happen without any questions.

Waiting for the elevator to come he holds my hand tightly, like I am about to disappear into space.

The elevator comes and I am left here with him, just the two of us standing next to each other. The hotel is very big, so the elevator takes time and every minute feels longer than the other. Because I can’t touch him, because I can’t feel him. This highway to whatever is going to happen is the longest road I’ve ever had to take. But the best one yet.

As a way of waiting, I let my head rest on his arm next to me. His beautiful tattooed arm. But before I could really settle my head here James turns me around to kiss me.

“- I’m sorry, I can’t wait.” James almost whispers.

I moan into his mouth as a way to give my approval and he grabs me by the back of my thighs and wraps my legs around his waist, my arms going straight to hold the back of his neck. His lips derive from my lips to fall into my neck, biting the skin he leaves trails of kisses on. Fuck I didn’t knew I was that sensitive here. I need his lips on mine, I need his tongue to play with mine so I turn his head around with one of my hands, my lips practically begging at this point. As I deepen the kiss, I let his tongue enter my mouth and play with mine. God, it’s like he’s trying to look for all the places that make me feel good.

“- Wait wait James!” i exclaim.

“- What?” he answers, kissing my neck.

“- There’s cameras in elevators? Right?” i ask, afraid we might have been seen.

“- I couldn’t give less of a shit baby.” he responds immediately, letting a laugh out of me. “They can see a beautiful woman they’ll never have if they want.”

“A beautiful woman they’ll never have” what does he mean by that? What do you mean never have? I have no more time to be lost in my thoughts because the elevator just opened. James carries me through the hallway in the same position as we were in, my legs wrapped around his waist and my arms around his neck. One of his hands is on my ass, which makes me weaker than I would admit and the other is around my waist. I’m so glad that it’s late, nobody is walking around the hotel. I can also feel the hardness in his pants, teasing me just enough for me to get wet. I know what is gonna happen now, he’s gonna fuck me, and he’s gonna do it good. I’ve been waiting for this. And I can’t believe that none other than James Hetfield will do it. I’m so horny just thinking of it.

Opening his hotel room door he wastes no time to close the door and he drops me on the bed. Towering over me, he goes back to where he was before, kissing me, my neck and now the birth of my breasts. I push James's head slightly to have room to remove my shirt, which, when he understands my attention, does for me. My bra goes away at the same time as my shirt and here I am, topless, in front of a man that makes me feel so confused about my feelings.

“- Perfect. So perfect.” i hear him groan.

I moan at the touch of his soft lips sucking on my nipples. He bites them and sucks on them like he found a new instrument to play. I could come just because of this, this new feeling is incredible.

“- I want to make you feel so good.” James tells me, smiling.

I freeze and moan at his desire. Nobody has cared enough for me to do that. To want that. To care about my pleasure. James’s voice is so low and rough that it almost vibrates through my body, sending shivers to my heart and pussy. There’s nothing I can do. I want him. Whatever if he throws me out of his room after, I want him.

“- Can I?” he asks, his hands on the border of my pants.

“- Yes, but remove this before.” i answer, grabbing the end of his shirt.

He gets the message and lets me remove his shirt from him. What a beautiful sight. His body can tower over me easily, with his muscular back and broad shoulders. His tattoos I think are the best thing about this. It makes him look even more like a piece of art, and it contrasts his fit chest and stomach in the most beautiful way there is. He smiles at the way I look at his body. This smile, his tremendously beautiful smile.

James slides down on his knees right in front of the bed. He grabs my foot and removes my shoe, and does the same for the other. He then removes my pants to leave me only with my panties, my pussy throbbing at his gaze.

“- Even your legs are perfect. How have I not found you before?” he says, slowly kissing my legs.

I can’t think straight with James lips now kissing the interior of my thighs, getting dangerously close to my pussy at every one of his pecks. I slid my hand in his hair, avid for his touch.

“- James, please.” i beg.

“- Don’t beg darling. What you want I shall do. Tell me. What do you want?” James answers, languidly.

Breathing hard and shortly, I try to gather my words. I can’t believe this is happening.

“- Mmh…” i moan, trying to remove my underwear. “I want your lips…” i breath heavily. “Right here.” i finally say, resting my hand on my pussy.

James eyes glimmer as his gaze is fixed on mine. He doesn’t say anything but grunts in approval and removes my hands away from my panties, removing them by himself, leaving me fully exposed to him. His head dives instantly in between my legs like he’s been starving for it. Oh my god! That’s good! My hand in his hair, I keep him in between my legs, not wanting it to stop.

“- What a pretty cunt… what a pretty sight.” he whispers, latching on my clitoris.

This is the first time somebody eats me out. This is the first time I am feeling this and yet I know he’s better at it than average. His tongue alternates between my clitoris and my slit and my legs start to shake. But here’s the thing. I don’t want to come right now. I want to come with him. While he’s in me.

“- Ja..James!” i exclaim, lifting his head up with my hands. “I want you.”

James puts himself on his knees and kisses my lips softly. So desperate for him I open his belt and pants. James puts his fingers under my chin and locks his gaze into mine.

“- Look at you. So desperate for my cock. I’m such an asshole making you beg for me. I should be the one doing that. I should be the one begging for you to even deserve the desire you have for such an old man.” he says.

He finishes removing his pants and underwear and only now I realise how big he is. I have never had something like that. His cock is thick and big with a vein poking along the shaft. It looks more than ready to be in me. And this makes me even more horny.

I raise myself on my knees too and put my hands on both sides of his face.

“- I think I’ve got a taste for men who are older. Or maybe just for you. Because no man has ever made me feel what you make me feel. Just in an hour, you’ve made me more fulfilled than I have ever been.” i admit, kissing him.

Sitting on the mattress, James grabs the back of my thighs so I can sit on him and wrap my legs around him. I wrap my arms around his neck, again. This position we’re in, the lotus, is so intimate, like something you would do with your partner, not an unknown chick you’ve met an hour ago. My tits press against his chest and both our hearts beat at the same pace. His cock is teasing my entrance and his gaze is locked in mine.

“- I should find those boys and teach them a lesson. How dare they have the audacity not to make you feel fulfilled.” he kisses my neck. “This will never happen again as long as you’re with me.” he adds, his head buried in my neck.

Did he just ask me to stay with him? Did he just say that he wanted to be with me? I can’t even think about it more as I feel his cock entering me. It’s stretching me out. And it feels so good.

“- Fuck, this is so big!” i bite my lower lip.

I moan and he starts to move into me slowly, he’s so deep and I can barely hold it together.

“- That’s it babygirl, you’re doing good.” he tells me, removing the hair out of my face.

The way he talks to me makes me crazy. The way he holds me makes me weak. The way he looks at me makes me feel alive. This is what I meant when I said I wanted something passionate and deep. Talking about deep, the connection we have as his cock moves in and out of me is incredible. You can probably see the stars in my eyes. And I can see the fire in his.

“- Mhhh… James! AAahh!” i scream, feeling numb.

“- Oh y/n. Mmmh…” he grunts. “You are so beautiful bouncing on my cock like this.”

“- Stop… mmmh… stop telling me those things…” i let out in between whimpers. “Or I’ll be sad… mmh… when I have to go.” i add, hearing him groan as an answer.

I feel my release coming. I’ve never felt that good. The only times I have come before were when I was touching myself, it’s the first time a man will do it. And what a man. I will be sad when I have to go, I wish I could have sex with him everyday, I wish I could kiss him every minute. It might sound cliché to feel such things towards a man like him in such a short time. I said he’d fuck me and fuck me good. But he’s making love to me.

I see his face flinch and he kisses me.

“- I can feel you tighten around my cock...mmmh..” he says. “Come. Come for me baby.”

I can also feel his cock twitch in me. I know he’s about to come too.

“- James… mmmhh… please! Come in me! Please! Aaahh!” i tighten my arms around his neck, throwing my head into his neck, coming as i implore.

“- Fuck… you are so amazing.” he says, out of breath, coming deep into me, letting little whimpers out of me.

I can hear his heartbeat through his chest as his cock softens into me. This feeling is so peaceful and makes me forget about what is to come next. It makes me feel so important and cared for. It’s two hearts. And I don’t wanna leave. He’s making me crazy. Here, in his arms, in this position, I don’t want this to end.

“- Y/n.” he calls. “Stay with me.” he demands, his hands falling on my waist. “Stay with me. I’ll take you anywhere you want, give you everything you want. I know it’s selfish to ask you to leave everything so I can be with you but I need you. I don’t know how, I don’t know why. But I do.” he begs.

“- Oh James. I fucking hate this town. Take me anywhere you want.” i answer.

I was the loneliest and most bored woman on earth some hours ago. Now I’m the happiest and most fulfilled. I think, while James locks his promise with a passionate kiss on my lips.

༄♡. 𖧹⋆✰

A/N : the lotus like man i just want to do that with james it feels so deep! thank you anon because this gave me an idea for this oneshot, i wrote this with of course, cola in my mind because lana does gets it. i usually write stuff with rough sex and all but something more soft from time to time doesn’t hurt, hope you’ll love this anon, and everybody else (james you can take me anywhere) <33

[apathmakerstale]

Fic Poll

I have way too many fic ideas piling up and need help to focus my attention. Even if it only gets one or so votes I need SOMEthing to help channel it precisely with how hectic I've been. Pick a fic from here even if random- I plan to write them all eventually anyway too btw this is just to focus.

CCMH ch.13 is being worked on indepently too.

[chaoticbuggybitchboy]

Digging through my killjoy folder and coming to the awful realization that I uh have no Cherri cola fluff oopsies sorry Cherri

[envihellbender]

The first morning Roman wakes up in his new life in London, far away from Waystar

Characters: Roman Roy (agent of the Web), Mike Crew, Oliver Banks

Verse: The Magnus Archives / Succession crossover

Content: angst, fluff

—

Roman had woken up in the Central London townhouse a thousand times, but not one of those mornings felt anything like this one. His private jet, one he’d stolen from his father, had arrived in at five in the morning and for the first time in his life, Roman woke up with no where to go. He didn’t have to get ready for work, in fact he’d been able to just sleep in. The digital clock showed it was two in the afternoon, when had he ever slept that late? Even when he was a teenager if he’d have slept past ten he’d have had one of his dad’s sadistic assistants pour cold water over him. Roman buried his face in his pillow, it was somewhat comforting he supposed. He grabbed the one next to it, and immediately calmed by the slight ozone smell of Mike. He pulled the top of the third set pillows, adding the scent of a cherry bakewell tart to his surroundings. Before he met Oliver he never knew death smelt so tasty. He shoved both pillows on his face, covering him entirely and cutting off his oxygen supply.

He managed a minute before he gasped and let them go, his breathing was heavy and rasping - like when he tried to get away with wearing a binder in gym as a teenager. It hurt his chest and his ribs ached at the quick movement but feeling something other than immense guilt that he’d betrayed his father and fear of inadequacy had helped.

“Morning, Ro,” Mike said as barrelled into the room. He fell on the bed and poked Roman on his cheek. He was wearing Oliver’s Depeche Mode t-shirt which drowned him, and a pair of light blue torn jeans. “How’s the moping going?”

“Am not moping. I’m-” Roman paused for a second. “Shut up.” He buried his face into Oliver’s pillow again before Mike poked him in the ribs.

“Oi. Stop being a fag.”

“I’m not! I just want to sleep-”

“Suffocating yourself with the scent of your boyfriend is very faggoty of you, Ro.”

“Fuck off. Wasn’t suffocating myself.”

“You were. Not that you were near death but Ollie senses these things, dumbass.”

“Oh. Fuck.”

“Gave him a bit of a scare. I mean. Not enough to stop him from making poached eggs but-”

“Poached eggs?”

“Yeah he’s making you a whole full English out there. With poached eggs. Bacon. Sausages. Baked beans. And I can’t have any until you get up so…” Mike poked Roman in the ribs again.

“Why is he- can’t the- you still have the Help here, right?” Roman replied, bewildered as to why anyone would make their own food if they didn’t need to.

“You know Ollie,” Mike shrugged. “He hates having everything done for him and he insists no one makes a full English like he does. Which is true.”

“I’m not hungry,” Roman mumbled, the thought of eating food right now made his stomach turn. The memory of his father shoving chicken wings into his mouth as he told him how he was selling Waystar, ripping it out from underneath him.

“Well, no shit. We don’t really get hungry but we do get low blood sugar and eating is good for your mindset. So-”

“I don’t want to.”

“Okay but… I want a full English, a cup of tea, and a can of this new mango Coca Cola flavour so I need you get up. God. Not everything is about you, Ro.” Mike had originally intended this to get a laugh out of Roman, it didn’t quite work. Although he did get the smallest of smiles out of him.

“My mum used to make eggy pegs and a cup of tea with a fresh glass of orange juice every morning when we stayed over,” Roman mumbled. “Make a big deal how she did it herself.”

“What are eggy pegs?”

“Huh?”

“I’ve never heard that before what the hell are they?”

“Like, you know, a boiled egg with strips of toast-"

“Oh! Egg and soldiers. You mean egg and soldiers. Who the fuck calls them eggy pegs?”

“My mom so shut up.”

“Yeah well, your mom also fucked you over massively and was a cunt to you and still addresses thing to some bitch who doesn’t exist instead of to her son so… I think we can agree her opinion doesn’t count.” Roman watched Mike curiously as he rambled, if he didn’t know any better he’d think there was some real hurt and upset in his voice. He was protecting Roman. No one did that, he thought. He turned onto his side and wrapped his arm around Mike, burying his face into Mike’s chest. He felt him stiffen, and Roman expected him to back away, but instead Mike wrapped his arms around Roman and gave him a squeeze. The lightening scar on his arm warmly vibrating against Roman’s back.

“Aw, aren’t you two cute,” said a sudden voice from the doorway. They both recognised Oliver immediately, neither however wanted to look at their boyfriend who’d interrupted their moment.

“Fuck you, dick,” Roman said, not looking up. He could picture Oliver’s sweet smile and as much as it made his chest grow warm, he was hardly going to admit that.

“I finished breakfast- or brunch, I guess.” Oliver shrugged. Roman and Mike untangled themselves from each other and Roman stretched, he instinctively went to the bedside table to reach for his phone but it wasn’t there.

“Well, can’t eat without my phone. Where the hell is my phone?” Roman rambles, searching his pockets and patting down the bedding. Mike flashed a look at Oliver and disappeared before reappearing on top of the wardrobe watching with crossed legs.

“Oh. Erm. You gave it to me, when you got in. You didn’t want to get overwhelmed by messages and calls and stuff.”

“I mean, okay but I need everything that’s on my phone, Ollie,” Roman pressed as he got to his feet.

“I- yeah. Okay. Just. Breakfast first? Then you can… I just-you’re not going to call or ring-”

“No,” Roman interrupted. “Very soon my dad is going to hate me if he doesn’t already.” He let out a humourless laugh and a dry smirk, all he needed to do was go see Annabelle Cane and give her everything she needed on Logan Roy.

[h50fics]

Sweet like a chic-a-cherry cola

by SquaresAreNotCircles

Steve takes another sip, and Danny is a little distracted by the way that every time he does it, his tongue is the first thing to make contact with the bottle. “So why’d you quit?”

“Hm?”

“The force,” Steve says, offering him the bottle back. Danny gratefully takes it – he’s not drunk enough yet to be having these thoughts about his landlord. “Being a detective.”

Or: Steve is a security guard with a spare room, Danny works at a coffee shop and is about to go homeless, and the universe still aligns to let them argue their way to romance.

Words: 1461, Chapters: 1/17, Language: English

Fandoms: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Danny "Danno" Williams, Steve McGarrett, Grace Williams (Hawaii Five-0), Kono Kalakaua, Chin Ho Kelly, Mary Ann McGarrett, Rachel Edwards

Relationships: Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, sort of an h50 season 1 AU. roughly. sometimes very roughly, Fluff, Humor, steve and danny's bicker-banter flirting, Getting Together, First Kiss, Coffee Shops, Sharing a Bed, Drinking, Living Together, Falling In Love, steve mcgarrett has a tragic backstory even in an alternate universe, he also still puts butter in his coffee. danny despairs

via AO3 works tagged 'Steve McGarrett/Danny "Danno" Williams' https://ift.tt/LjseOrP

[sanasour]

My best mistake ☆

Switch!Haknyeon x fem!reader

Synopsis= When reader and hakneyon do something that makes them not look at each other the same, will their friendship stay intact?

Genre:Smut, corny, fluff, friends to ???

Warnings= Car sex, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!), swearing, kinda edging, breeding, reader has a vagina, includes Haknyeon, Juyeon, and Sangyeon from the boyz, Yunjin and Chaewon from Le Sserafim, Yeonjun from TXT(please comment if i missed any!)

It’s Sunday. I wake up to the sunlight peeking through my curtains and the feeling of my phone vibrating. I look at my phone screen and ‘yunjin’ in big bold letters is brightening up my screen, blinding my eyes as I had just woken up.

“Yunjin, seriously it's 4.” I said angrily.

“Uhh yeah pm, girl you need to wake up we're going to a party! ” yunjin says cheerfully.

“Classes start tomorrow though.” I say with a groan.

“Exactly, pregame party!” She says with joy.

“Gosh, fine I'll see you there. Send me the info.” But before I can hang up Yunjin interrupts me,“Wait! Open your door I'm outside.”

I look at my apartment door and let out a deep breath. I open the door, and see yunjin holding 3 dresses in her hand. I look at Yunjin with a straight face “Girl you know damn well I have my own clothes.”

“Yeah, but if you wanna show up to a party looking homeless be my guest— but i’m still gonna make you look fine as hell.” Yunjin said with confidence.

“oh!?" I exclaimed.

“nonono ugh yk what I meant!”

I eventually set on this black silk dress. It’s basic but it's the best one out of Yunjin’s options. we're outside of Juyeon, the football quarterback’s house. When I walk in I immediately get hit with the stench of cheap alcohol , weed, and sweaty boys. I look to my right and see that Yunjin is occupied with her friend, Chaewon. I sigh, and look straight ahead of me seeing my best friend, Haknyeon.

We’ve been best friends since sophomore year so I instantly feel relieved when I see him. I walk up to him and give him a warm embrace.

“Heyy!" Haknyeon says with joy.

“Haknyeon!"

“lmao you guys saw each other like yesterday" Yunjin says from behind me. I turn around, and see Chaewon next to her. I give a bright smile to her, and she returns it to me. My attention returns back to Haknyeon when he blurts out “y/n, can I get you a drink?”

" nah i dont wanna be hangover for my first day of college” I respond

“same, this is sprite” he replies showing me the contents inside his cup with a cheesing grin.

It's been 3 hours since me and Yunjin arrived, and all I've been doing is talking to Haknyeon. Right now we're on a couch downing our 5th cola can “Haknyeon istg if we get cavities- "

" we aren't it's just cherry cola! “ I look to my right hearing some cheering and see Juyeon and his teammates. I smile then I remember whos in the team, my ex, we ended on not so good terms…

“shit.” I sigh.

“what?!” he exclaimed.

“Juyeon’s team.” he looks at them, then looks back at me confused.

“who's on the team dumbass?”

Haknyeon thinks a bit. “Yeonjun!”

“ yeah?” I hear behind me. I turn around and see none other than Yeonjun.

By then, Yunjin spots us and rushes over to us “guys what’s that over there?!” Yeonjun looks to where her finger is pointing she grabs me and Haknyeon and pulls us to a hallway.

“plan something out” she says than pushes us in a empty bedroom.

“What do we do?” Haknyeon asks it's silent for four straight minutes until I think of something

“be my boyfriend!” I exclaim

“what!?”

“I mean like, fake boyfriend.” I put my hand out signalling for him to take it

“just for right now” he accepts the invite and holds my hand. I pull him outside of the room. I spot Yeonjun with his friends. He then looks at me and Haknyeon then our hands that are intertwined.

Haknyeon then puts his hands on my jawline and pulls me into a deep passionate kiss, after a few seconds we pull away to take a breath, we both turn to the direction Yeonjun was in and see him bolting out the door. We both let out a breathy laugh, Haknyeon than brings me to his car and we burst out laughing at what just happend

“YOU SHOULD’VE SEEN THE LOOK ON HIS FACE!" Haknyeon exclaimed, I can't even say anything because I'm laughing so hard that soon I'll have abs forming. Eventually the laughter dies down and the car is filled with silence, a comfortable silence.

“Haknyeon I-" I turn to look at Haknyeon and he cuts me off with a quick kiss we both look at each other in the eyes before I pull him in closing the gap between us, the kiss was more aggressive and heated. it soon turned into making out.

“mmmh, fuck i want you so bad baby~” his hands start going to my chest, and he starts fondling with my breasts. I bite my lip as his thumbs hover over my nipples.

“are you sure?” Haknyeon asks

“I'm sure” I reply. Haknyeon brings me onto his lap so I'm facing him. I feel his hard cock in between my thighs making my breath hitch. I start slowly grinding on his cock, my dress riding up my thigh causing my bare pussy to make contact with his clothed cock.

I take off his grey sweatpants and bring it down to his ankles, I palm him through his boxers, smiling seductively while biting my lip. Haknyeon throws his head back groaning “fuckk~” this goes on for a minute, the air is filled with whines from haknyeon till he finally speaks up “p-please no teasing please please, need to be inside you”

“only because you're being such a good boy for me~” I finally pull down his boxers and sink onto him, both of us letting out a desperate moan for more. I move up and down on his hard cock and our moans get louder and more erratic.

“F-fuck g-gonna cum mommy~” Haknyeon pleads

“me too baby" I giggle. He releases inside me and I cum all over his cock. I ride out my high, the car is filled with deep and heavy breathing. we both let out a breathy laugh, I lay my head on his shoulder and let out a breath

“damn y/n if I knew you felt that good I would've done that a lot sooner.” Haknyeon confesses.

‘shut the fuck up Hak” I roll my eyes sarcastically while smiling. I go back to the passenger seat and haknyeon checks his phone and gasps dramatically

“holy shit, guess who liked my post!!”

“who??” I ask genuinely curious.

“TZUYU!!!” My smile slowly fades, Tzuyu is his crush. I don't know why but I feel some sort of pit in my stomach, why am I mad? We're just friends. Haknyeon continues squealing as if he's a little girl who just got candy.

I put on a bright smile for him when he turns back to me “OH MY GOD WHAT SHE SAY?!”

“nothing she just, liked it…”

“oh”

“But she totally likes me back right?!”

I look in front of me out the windshield “mhmm” I say quietly “I have to go, I came with Yunjin so…”

“Oh alr bye n/n” I give him a small grin then head out of the passenger seat and start walking towards Juyeon’s house to find Yunjin.

It's the first day of college and I woke up at 5 to call Yunjin so we can get ready together

“You fucked Haknyeon!?!?" Yunjin exclaimed

I widen my eyes “yeah.."

" in his car?!” Yunjin shouts " I nod

“you don't seem to happy about it, what happened?"

“well like right after he started talking and obsessing over his crush."

“ew tf?!"

“ikr like I don't even know what to think.” A realization comes to my head “are we still friends?” I whisper to myself not loud enough for Yunjin to hear but loud enough to know something came out of my mouth

“what was that?”

" nothing” " oh okay, well I'm done so I'm picking you up, be ready in five minutes. byeee!”

“ bye pookie" I hang up the phone and think about what I'm gonna do when I see haknyeon. I hope we can just forget about it and move on, cause it obviously didn't mean anything to him.

Me and Yunjin arrive at the campus and get our dorm keys

“omg y/n we're roommates!” Yunjin cheerfully exclaims

“really!?!”

“Yess girl eeee!” Yunjin squeals, as we walk to the dorm building Yunjin clings onto my arm. I feel my phone vibrate in my right pocket, I take out my phone for both me and Yunjin to see who it is. ‘**Haknyeon**’ lights up the screen

“I say let it ring” Yunjin confesses with a smile

“I can't do that, we're still friends” I pick it up because i don't wanna seem rude

“hi Hak!" I exclaim. by this time me and Yunjin are at our floor where our room was.

“hii n/n!!"

“did you arrive to the campus yet?" I ask him

“yeah in my room rn" he answers. me and yunjin stop infront of our door and smile at each other

“me and yunjin just got to our room!" we step inside

“oh?" I exclaim

“damn it's tiny as hell” yunjin saying exactly what i was thinking.

“well we have to live here for the rest of the year...” I say

" yeah but, at least I'm here with you" Yunjin then squeals tickling my side, we both start laughing then I hear my phone yelling at me

“Y/N HELLO CAN YOU HEAR ME, IF YOU DON'T ANSWER I WILL HANG UP” Haknyeon whisper yells exaggerating

" oh my god, what you even call me for Hak??" I yell back at him

“let's meet up, I'm by the big water fountain in the middle of the campus, I also got your favorite snack!!”

I smile with joy "Can Yunjin come?!?"

Haknyeon rolls his eyes, okay I didn't know that, but I could tell he did by the way he clicked his tongue

“no dumbass, just us.." I think about it for a bit, is he gonna apologize for last night with Tzuyu?

“alr fine"

“okay see you n/n~" he hangs up on me before I can even say goodbye. I turn to Yunjin and she's unpacking

“girl I gotta go, I'm meeting up with Haknyeon"

“you need me to go with you??"

“no don't worry I'm good, but I'll be at the water fountain." I tell her where I'm gonna be just incase

“alr be safe honey bunny"

“okok bye pookie bear" I say before shutting our door

The fall leaves are blowing in the wind all around me, I'm feeling at peace as there's not a lot of people outside right now. Considering it's the first day of college, figured people would be exploring the campus. I spot the fountain and see a couple sharing snacks on it. cute. I ignore them and look around the fountain, not spotting Haknyeon. I sit on the fountain not far from the couple. I call Haknyeon. the guy's phone rings. weird. he picks up and I hear two Haknyeon’s, realization flushes into me. my face drops. I get up from my spot on the fountain and take a closer look at the couple, Haknyeon and… Tzuyu!?!?

I sprint before he sees me but it's too late

“n/n!" I hear him call. I ignore him and roll my eyes. why am I jealous?? someone pulls my hand so I can face them, Haknyeon. “y/n did you not hear me??” Haknyeon asks

" oh I did, I just didn't wanna bother you while your with her” I say, being honest

"but I called you to meetup?”

" yeah but,” I think for a little before speaking again " isn't this your first time hanging out with her alone tho? I didn't wanna disturb...”

Hakyeon sighs and looks down at his feet “yeah but,” he holds my left hand and lifts my head up so we are making eye contact “I wanna hangout with you and, talk to you.” His hand is still holding mine and his other is on my jawline we stare into each other's eyes for a little

“wait, but why tho, this is your crush we're talking about, the girl you've like since juinor year, I thought you would be ecstatic??”

Haknyeon looks down again “she has a boyfriend” he says quietly

“oh” I feel a bit of relief but still feel distraught for haknyeon

“wanna go to my room?” Haknyeon asks I nod and smile a bit. Haknyeon pulls me since our hands are still intertwined. I text Yunjin where I'm gonna be so she isn't worried and when I look up from my phone I see we're already at his room. Haknyeon unlocks it with a grin

“ladies first” haknyeon says with his hand out. I look around and realize it's just my room but inverted “I haven't fully unpacked, but it still looks nice, right?”

I turn back at him with a smile and nod “yeah” he smiles back at me

“wanna see my room?”

“Mhmm”

he leads me to his room.

“aw cutee” I say as I see the baby photos of haknyeon on his desk. I lay on his bed “do you have a roommate yet?” I ask while propping myself up with my elbows, he looks at me

“oh uh yeah, his names Sangyeon, he’s really nice!” He smiles while scratching the back of his neck, “can we, talk about what happened after Juyeons party?”

I don't know what to say so I just spit something out . “it was a mistake I-” before I can continue Hakneyon interrupts me “oh yeah?” he says while tilting his head to the side, I nod hesitantly

“you're my best mistake y/n”

before I can say something Haknyeon interrupts me “I love you…”

I look up at him and pull him in with his belt buckle “I love you too hak” we are both looking at each other with a hint of lust and he’s hovering over me.

He closes the gap between us and kissing me passionately. I sit up and scoot over so there's space on the bed for him. He caresses my cheek, moving the hair out of my face. I blush slightly. I tug on the hem of Haknyeon's sweater hinting to him I want it off. He takes off his sweater in one fast swoop. I trace my right hand on his chest hovering over his nipple, Haknyeon’s breath shudders at this. I take off my shirt at a slow pace, teasing him. Haknyeon's eyes widen as he sees I'm not wearing a bra his hands reach out to my breasts

“please" he looks down at me with a sly look, I nod, his hands touch my soft chest and I immediately melt in his touch. He starts playing with my nipples and I look up at him with a pout. I start whining from the slight pleasure I'm getting. “Hak, please I want more~"

he grins at me “you're so fucking needy baby" he answers and starts undoing his belt. He takes off his pants and boxers all at once knowing I can’t wait any longer “your turn baby" he says. I take off my skirt revealing my pink lace panties

“holy shit you're so wet” Haknyeon puts his hand down my panties gathering my arousal on his fingers. He shows me how wet I am by spreading his fingers “all for me~" he then puts his fingers in his mouth sucking it clean while groaning " mmm you taste so good n/n~” my panties finally come off, and I spread my legs showing him my bare pussy. I place my hand on his head playing with his hair for a bit, after a while I push his head down to my pussy. He immediately gets to work and starts kitty licking my slit.

I throw my head back and whimper “fuck~ feels so good hak” as he's eating me out I put my hand to my clit rubbing it in circles. Haknyeon then takes my hand and moves it aside, replacing my hand with his. The pleasure is too much, I feel a knot form in my stomach “H-Hak gonna cum!” I exclaim. He pulls away and I whine “nonono Haknyeon please” I drag out the e and try to close my legs for some friction, but Haknyeon prevents me to do that and keeps my leg open with his knee. He’s hovering over me. I feel his tip, wet from his precum, hit my stomach.

“Let's cum together baby okay?”

I nod and spread my legs, I feel him align his tip with my slit and he slides in with no problem. Haknyeon let's out a groan with a ramble of curses, I roll my eyes from the slight pleasure I'm getting and let out a loud moan. Haknyeon covers my mouth hinting for me to be quiet. I look up at him while my eyebrows are scrunched up. I push his hand away and bring him into an aggressive kiss. As we're kissing he thrusts in and out at a slow pace, I whine into the kiss, hakneyon then speeds up and thrusts hard hitting my g-spot

“yes yes yes, keep on going baby~” I say

“I-I'm close y/n”

I nod to let him know that I am too, the knot in my stomach breaks and I clench around him making his release inside me, he falls onto me whispering thank yous and praise in my ear. He falls next to me so he's laying next to me, we face each other “I love you, y/n” Haknyeon confesses.

“I love you too, Haknyeon”

[chlorinecake]

ᅟᅟᅟ❚❘❙❘ ✙ ✦ 𝐄𝐍𝐇𝐘𝐏𝐄𝐍 𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐅 + 𝐆𝐔𝐈𝐃𝐄 ᅟᅟᅟ❚❘❙❘ ✙ ✦

ᅟᅟᅟ⌕ 𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫: I write sfw and nsfw content, so please proceed with caution and read responsibly. Also, I am Niki's biological mama! Just don't ask about his dada, please... It's complicated.

ᅟᅟᅟ⌕ 𝐑𝐮𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐑𝐞𝐪𝐬: NO stepcest, p!ss k!nk, period sex, bondage, member x member, ana! stuff (including pegging), age-play, hybrid au’s, three(or more)somes, race-specific smut

📍NEW riize masterlist

| A | angst | F | fluff | M | mature | S | suggestive | C | crack

✪ 𝐋𝐞𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠 | 이희승

leading you on | l.hs

-> loser!streamer!church boy!heeseung, smut

✪ 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐉𝐚𝐲 | 박제이

𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐉𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐓𝐲𝐩𝐞 | 𝐏.𝐣𝐒

-> rich!bf!jay, gossip girl au, smut

✿ — let me take care of you | p.js

-> when caring fiancé!jay takes care of you on your period, fluff

❝ MOLTO BELLA ❞ — P.JS

-> soft dom! guitarist bf!jay x bratty!switch gf reader, smut

✪ 𝐒𝐢𝐦 𝐉𝐚𝐤𝐞 | 심제이크

Love On A Leash | 심재윤 𓇢𓆸

-> neighbors to crushes au, fluff, crack, suggestive

cross my heart and hope to die

-> star student!fratboy!jake, cnc themes, smut

Imagine Pervy Massage Therapist Jake…

-> massage therapist!jake x female!client, smut

— 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞

-> stalker ex bf! jake x stalker ex gf! reader, smut

✪ 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐧 | 박성훈

Ｂｌｏｏｄ Ｏｎ Ｉｃｅ | 얼음에 피 (complete)

-> yandere ghostface!sunghoon series, dark themes, smut, angst

⤷ blood on ice part 1

⤷ blood on ice part 2

⤷ blood on ice part 3

= 𝓙𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐘𝐨𝐮, 𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥 ── P.SH 💬

-> long distance relationship au, suggestive, crack

— 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 | 𝐩.𝐬𝐡 ׅ ㅤ֢ ㅤׄㅤ . (tba...)

-> soft!dom hoon, smut, fluff, a bit of crack

✪ 𝐊𝐢𝐦 𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐨𝐨 | 김선우

𐙚 — 𝐜𝐫𝐲 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐭 | 𝐤.𝐬𝐧

-> slutty picnic date with bf!sunoo, fluff, smut

me with the guy I told ppl I hate | 𝐤.𝐬𝐧 (tba...)

-> ex bsf ! sunoo, social media au, smut

✪ 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐉𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐰𝐨𝐧 | 양정원

𝐉𝐎𝐘𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐊 - a yjw oneshot 🕹️ ☆ most popular

-> roommate au, smut, crack

Imagine Illegal Racer Jungwon...

-> illegal racer!bf!jungwon, smut

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐏’𝐒 𝐆𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐄𝐍 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒

-> obsessive yandere!jungwon, angst, suggestive

⤷ the sheep's garden part 1

⤷ the sheep's garden part 2

⤷ the sheep's garden part 3

⤷ the sheep's garden part 4

part 5 coming soon...

𝐔𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐮𝐛𝐛𝐥𝐞𝐬 | 𝐘.𝐉𝐖

-> comfy bathtub sex with bf!jungwon, smut, fluff

✿ — sticky notes to love letters | y.jw

-> shy classmate!jungwon, fluff, crack, school au

Fuck Now, Talk Later | Y.JW

-> soft dom! bf! jungwon x subby! gf!reader, smut, comfort, angst

✪ 𝐍𝐢𝐤𝐢 𝐍𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐮𝐫𝐚 | 니키니시무라

⋆｡˚ ✈︎ The Flirty TSA Agent Series (complete)

-> strangers to lovers au, fluff, crack

⤷ scene one: finder’s keepers

⤷ scene two: lost and found

⤷ scene three: would you walk away?

⤷ scene four: love at first flight

“𝐈 𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮” | 𝐍.𝐑𝐊 𝐟𝐟 ༄

-> spending valentines day with bf!riki, fluff

[Vitamin C]uddles —⊹ N.RK (西村力) 🛏️

-> taking care of sick bf!riki, fluff, crack ☆ most popular

“kissing, I hope they caught us” ┈ ❊ ﹒ 🌪️

-> steamy kisses with bf!riki, fluff

Hot Cocoa Kisses —⊹ N.RK (西村力) ☕️

-> kisses with bf!riki on a winter day, fluff

“cake for breakfast?” ┈ ❊ ﹒ 🎀

-> celebrating your b-day with bf!riki, fluff, crack

❛ she’s my cherry cola ❜ ┈ ❊ ﹒ ☁️

-> when bf!riki sings you to sleep at night, fluff

PDA —⊹ N.RK (西村力) 🐈‍⬛

-> shy boyfriend!riki, fluff

🎙️ star-crossed lovers 【 薄幸な恋人 】 ⛦

-> idol!niki, band collab au, fluff, drama

⤷ TRACK 1: Reckless Romance

⤷ TRACK 2: Forbidden Sparks Fly

⤷ TRACK 3: The Show Must Go On

track 4 coming soon...

✩ Upcoming Niki Fic Ideas ⊹˚. ♡.𖥔 ݁ - not soon but in progress

✪ 𝐎𝐓𝟕 | 엔하이픈

�� 𝗓 𐰁 Restless Nights w Enhypen ! ⩇⩇:⩇⩇

-> bf! enhypen, fluff, crack

「 ✦ enha reaction’s WHEN YOU LEARN THEIR PART IN A DANCE CHOREOGRAPHY ✦ 」

-> idol!bf enhypen, fluff, crack

THEY CALL HER NASTY

-> smut drabbles w/ the hyung!line (overstimulation kink)

SO PRETTY IT HURTS

-> rough sex drabbles w/ legal!line ft. nsfw links

𝐓𝐡𝐞 “𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬” 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 🎱 (complete)

-> yandere!stalker!enhypen, angst, suggestive

⤷ Convenient Chances

⤷ Convenient Chances ll

⤷ Convenient Chances lll

⤷ Convenient Chances IV

✶ Caught Slippin’ | 18+ ENHA REACTIONS

-> bf!enha getting caught in the act, smut ☆ most popular

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 Laced With Lust | 18+ REACTIONS

-> what lingerie bf!enha!legal line would like, smut, fluff

𐙚 Cherry Blossoms | 18+ EN- REACTIONS

-> bf!enha!legal line reaction to another member touching your boobs, suggestive, crack

𝟕𝟕𝟕 | 𝐜𝐧𝐜 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐞𝐧𝐡𝐚 𝐟𝐭. 𝐍𝐢𝐤𝐢

-> dark themes, suggestive to smut

Gangbang Imagine ft. Enha!Hyung Line

-> keep in mind that I don’t write threesomes anymore pls !!

❝ 𝒫𝓇𝑒𝓈𝑒𝓃𝓉’𝓈 𝐹𝒾𝓇𝓈𝓉 ❞ ┈ asking enha!legal line to unwrap you under the Christmas tree

-> holiday au, smut to suggestive

「 𓍯𓂃 A 𝒢UIDE TO OVERCOMING YOUR INSECURITIES 」

-> comfort scenarios w/ bf!enha, fluff, angst

♥♥♥ 𝚂𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚒𝚊𝚕 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚊𝚕𝚕 𝚖𝚢 𝚖𝚘𝚘𝚝𝚜 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚞𝚙𝚙𝚘𝚛𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚠𝚑𝚘 𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚕𝚘𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚜𝚎 𝚌𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚙𝚒𝚎𝚌𝚎𝚜 !!

ᅟᅟᅟ⌕ 𝐀𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬: 💋, 😼, 🐥, 😹/🫐, 🪻, 🎀 , 🪼, ⊹ ࣪ ˖ 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧 ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁

-> Thanks for stopping by!!

♡ matching w/ nana since 10/31/23 ~

and tysm for 1,000+ followers !!

© chlorinecake ┌iii┐

[queer-coded-camaro-driver]

Cherry Cola

Just a little snippet of something fluffy because I’m having a rough day and needed something sweet to brighten it up. Harringrove obvs.

Inspired by The Eagles of Death Metal song Cherry Cola.  

---

Steve knows all about Billy’s incredibly detailed and fastidious pre-date Routine. He knows about the Aquanet and the two beautiful ringlets that need to hang just so over the blonde’s right eye. He knows what Billy’s favorite brand of cologne is, how much to apply, and where best to apply it (inside both wrists and the left hip). He knows that Billy has to tuck is shirt in, adjust his jeans, and then unbutton the damn thing all the way to his fucking navel.

But what keeps Steve from going truly crazy whenever he watches his unrequited crush get all dressed up for another first date with a faceless, giggling girl is the shake. 

When Billy is finished getting dressed and picking out the right earring for his outfit, when he’s happy with his hair and his teeth and his look, he turns sideways in the mirror and shakes his ass once or twice. That’s the only reason the brunette keeps torturing himself by hanging out with Max’s older brother on Friday afternoons. 

Well, that and the fact he’s head over heels in love with the stupidly hot lifeguard - but there’s no way in hell Billy Hargrove would ever be into guys. Much less “pretty” boys like Steve who have too much money and not enough common sense. 

“What’s got your panties in a twist, Harrington? I can practically see the steam coming out of your ears,” Billy teases, fingers flicking over the top of his jewelry box as he peruses his earrings. 

“It’s nothing. Just stupid relationship shit.”

“You and Buckley having trouble in paradise?”

Steve nearly chokes on his gum, stolen from a pack in Billy’s porn-heavy bedside drawer. “Wh-What!? Me and Robin? Nooo-ho-ho, no way dude. There is nothing going on there. Strictly play-dough-nick.”

“It’s platonic, my man. And sure, okay. I believe that or whatever.”

“Robin has much better taste, I promise. I am truly and honestly sad and single.”

Billy makes a face at Steve through the mirror, but Steve ignores it in favor of flipping through a Playboy with mild disinterest. The blonde finishes primping and twists his hips away from Steve; the older boy’s eyes are instantly glued to Billy’s ass.  

“I could always cancel on Katie,” he says.

“Huh?” Steve’s gaze whips back up to Billy’s face. He flushes red with shame when he realizes that he’s been caught and scrambles down from his perch on the windowsill. “I- I can just- I’m sorry, Billy, I-”

“Calm down, Harrington, damn. You’re gonna swallow your fuckin’ tongue or something if you keep talking that fast, pretty boy.”

Pretty boy is more of a purr than anything else, and Steve’s heart stutters in his chest. His knees lock, preventing him from making a proper escape, even as Billy crosses the room like a big cat on the prowl. Steve’s bottom lip gets trapped between his teeth. 

“Wh-What are you doing?” Steve squeaks, watching Billy push into his personal space. The blonde gets up in Steve’s face, smirking like he’s about to tug the brunette into the backseat of his Camaro for a quick roll around. “Billy?” 

“Now’s your chance, Harrington, stop me from going on my date. Make me wanna stay here instead, in my stupid bedroom, on a Friday night.”

A wire in his head must get crossed or short circuit or overload or something, because the next thing he knows, Steve has one hand tangled in Billy’s hairspray-sticky curls and the other shoved into the back pocket of Billy’s tight blue Wranglers. He presses his mouth against the blonde’s and sets to work making Billy forget every other person he’s ever kissed. 

The shorter boy tries taking control for all of two seconds, until King Steve dredges up every dirty trick he’s ever learned at Skull Rock to prove why he has the crown in the first place. He slides his tongue along the seam of Billy’s lips only to take it away when the younger teen melts into his chest and groans. 

“Wh-What the fuck, Harrington? Where’ve you been hiding all this talent?”

“Didn’t think you’d be into me,” Steve shrugs, squeezing Billy’s ass a little just because he can. Because confusingly enough, Billy is touching him back. Tracing a fingertip along Steve’s collarbone and nosing at his jaw between lazy pecks against his throat. “So... Wanna call Katie and tell her you’re not gonna show?”

“Never made a date with Katie,” Billy winks, and tugs Steve back down for more.

[vinyls-and-valentines]

✨ with jet and cherri (and/or mad gear if you’d like) and romance?

Description: Jet Star decides that five more minutes in bed can’t hurt

Warning(s): None

Additional notes: Took a hot sec, but ‘m back on my bullshit!

ao3 link | requests prompt post

Jet is the first one to wake up, light spilling in through the small backroom window and landing unceremoniously on his face. Begrudgingly, he pries his eyes open, slowly sitting up and wincing when the old springs of Cherri’s groan under the sudden shift of weight. Mad Gear stirs in their spot between where Star sat on the edge of the bed and Cola was curled up on the other side, but doesn’t wake up and the fabulous killjoy lets a quiet sigh of relief as he gets up.

If it was up to him, he’d spend all day huddled under the covers with his partners- limbs tangled and talking sweet nothings like the future was granted- but they all have responsibilities and people who depend on them, so it’s easier for Jet Star just to pick up his jacket off the floor where it’d been carelessly discarded last night in a daze of sleep and post-concert adrenaline. As he shrugs it on, fishing out a peace of confetti that had somehow snuck into his sleeve, he casts the bed one last longing look. Mad is sprawled on their back now, limbs splayed over the spot where Jet had been, with one leg sticking out from under the covers and their boyfriend smiles softly at the image.

Before he can even put on his boots there’s the sound of shuffling again and a groan followed by a slurred, “Don’t go.”

“I have to.“ Jet shakes his head, more to himself than to anyone else, as he walks back over to his partner and presses a gentle kiss on their forehead.

“Five more minutes.“ Gear bargains, clinging onto the collar of Jet’s shirt, giving him their best attempt at puppy eyes despite having just woke up not even a full minute ago.

“Yeah, Star, we went to bed like two hours ago.“ Cherri chimes in sleepily, rolling on his back and blocking out the sunlight with his arm.

“Cher, it’s morning.“ their boyfriend points out amused, as he shuffles back into bed regardless, his partners cuddling up to him as soon as he’s settled in his place between them.

“Same difference.“ Cola dismisses, burring his face in the crook of Jet’s neck and the latter laughs softly, running a hand through his hair. The others fabulous killjoys would be fine without him for another five minutes