#charlie's random prizes

[welcome-to-roomba-fazbender]

Random Christmas Prize Time! 6

“Damn getting real close to christmas now! i hope i get plenty of shoes to eat ha jokes on you i’ll be stealing your shoes after santa gets done delivering gifts”

“First person to send me the code *wow* Thru an ask will win a baby walrus with a rude hat! this post will be updated once the winner appears!”

“the winner will be @’d and their prize will be added to the post as well”

congratulations to @cameraclown06 ((for some reason tumblr won’t let me @ you but okay then))

[oberveroftheinfinite]

On Colin collecting his horns, does he get that from Alastor?

I bet all the random racks of antlers hanging in the Hazbin Hotel, Rosie's place and basically anywhere else Alastor claims as home are actually Alastor's shed antlers, not just garden variety antlers and he just hasn't told anyone at all.

A subtle claim of 'mine!'

Maybe he wonders why they haven't figured out that even Alastor can't hunt that many prize winning deers at once and the growing deer theme the hotel had just got more and more funny as time passed, the antlers displayed in the hotel just slowly grew.

Then Charlie decides on a spring cleaning bonding exercise and discovers that somehow the hotel has 300 to 400 sets of mounted antlers.

Then the viking style drinking horns (Colin was inspired) start showing up in the cupboard and Charlie chases Colin around to noogie him in exasperation.

Oh 1000% Colin got his antler/horn-collecting habits from Alastor! Look at them! They even made a Christmas tree out of them!

It drives most of the other hotel inhabitants up the WALLS but they know they can’t stop the two.

Twice the amount of horn/antler decorations that they’ll have to deal with. Lmaooo!

[everythingisawayoflife]

random dead poets headcanons - modern au

i feel like all i do is crank out headcanons and not actually write (even though i definitely have a dps fic that needs updating…) anyway heres dps headcanons

i always start with neil and i think its cause he’s my baby and i like to think i just #get him anyway - neil love gilmore girls. a lot. i know next to nothing about gilmore girls so i couldnt tell you who his favorite rory boyfriend is but he will die on the hill that lane and dave deserved to be together

knox has run through the most phones because he always drops them in the toilet - he keeps loads and loads of rice, not for eating, but just in case he needs to make a last minute apple genius bar to fix his phone - its worked like 25% of the time

meeks works at a barnes and noble. he clocks so many hours there because he just loves working there. his barnes and noble has two floors.

neil and ginny host the tonys watch party every year. its one of those things thats always a fever dream. the best but also worst party was the 2017 tonys when great comet was up against dear evan hansen. if you so much as mention great comet to either of them, they will either devolve into crying, longwinded ranting, or put the entire album on and explain it to you

charlie is a gleek. a diehard gleek. he relates to santana on a spiritual level and can quote the iconic santana/quinn hallway fight verbatim in his sleep as well as her rant to kurt

todd has the job stability comparable with trish from austin and ally. he only gets a steady one when meeks recommends him for barnes and noble. they work all their shifts together. its incredible.

the poets have a quizbowl team at their favorite bar - each of them have their knowledge strengths and they have an ongoing win streak of four weeks (which at their bar, the prize is free drinks. so. do with that what you will)

pitts is an avatar: the last airbender purist (i mean who isnt tbh) and self-identifies with the earthbenders

cameron becomes THAT film nerd who swears tarantino is his god and that pulp fiction is the greatest movie of all time but he doesnt actually believe that - his favorite movie is the obscure animated film “we’re back! a dinosaur’s story” (1993)

[sciencebecameouraddiction]

my lucifer headcanons

note: these are just my own head canons. things i’ve noticed, how i write lucifer, what plays into why i write luce the way i do… etc. purely my own opinion.

- i think michael was very fond of his brother

- when the time came though to listen to dad and fulfill his duty or be a brother to lucifer michael chose duty

- the betrayal is still a sore spot for lucifer

- during lucifer’s “youth” he was curious, always dreaming up incredible creations… it was why he was dads favorite.

- he made the star fish, “because the sea deserves its own stars!” and he also made the duck. the ducks first iteration was quite a bit larger… lucifer and god compromised on a smaller duck. (more like god bribed lucifer.)

- he watched adam be made…. so he was always fond of him and lilith… until he fell in love with lilith…

- he didn’t realize it was love

- but michael knew and michael was scared. so he would draw lucifer away from the garden every chance he got

- lucifer was very naive when he was cast down to hell. he knew so much, he had been alive for so long, but there was so much life experience he didn’t have.

- the first few years in hell were horrible…

- he had hope at first

- maybe it all wouldn’t be so bad

- it was really bad. like really bad. the people who came down to hell were unspeakable devils

- (this is based off a fic i read and i can’t find it, if this rings any bells pls let me know the fic name) but lucifer is continuously appalled and distraught by the atrocities committed in his name.

- it’s one of the reasons he so powerful. he has the angelic power but also the power from those who worship him and make sacrifices for him

he really hates it. a lot. makes him feel no better than the worse overlord (cough alastor cough)

- charlie has no idea and she’ll never know if he can help it

- lucifer smells like apples and vanilla musk, a hint of cinnamon and something floral or citrusy.

- the floral or citrus changes depending on his mood

- he has a huge library. he actually pops up to earth with Asmodeous sometimes and takes books.

- he saved the whole Library of Alexandria’s books before it burned down

- he’s great friends with all the sins

- arguably closest with Beelzebub and Asmodeous

- he loves claw machines. the lights, the sounds, the prize winning???? he’s so fucking happy

- he actually wears glasses to read. he doesn’t need them but he says they make him look smarter.

- is actually a pretty good leader, is not nearly as forgiving as charlie is, but he’s not inherently cruel

- his third favorite color is pink

- his first and second are yellow and red, obviously

- he has expensive ass, maximalist taste.

- he doesn’t use tech because he knows what vox does to said tech.

- he’s always wanted a dog

- he’s very touchy. shows love physically. is only this way if he likes you though

- he has nightmares almost every night

- coffee addict

- because after not sleeping he wakes up looking like death warmed over

- and that’s if he didn’t forget to eat the past few days except for random snacks and didn’t do a 48 hour blitz of staying up working on ducks or the bit of kingdom shit he does.

- he has a handful of servants who he trusts and they are the only one in the house. there’s no team. nothing like that. he keeps it very close

- this was after someone who was a servant tried to throw an angelic dagger at his head because really they wanted to kill him and thought working for him would get them close enough.

- he homeschooled charlie. he knows a lot of stuff and even knew the guy who created calculus!

[bluemirrorangel]

Dps headcanons the poets and their type of academia aesthetic 

This is wayyyy longer than I intended it to be lol anyway I hope you enjoy these, leave a ship or fandom suggestions and I’ll do headcanons for them if you want :) 

Todd:darkest Academia

Loves gothic fiction and horror stories because he likes being nervous knowing that he's supposed to be.

Likes reading outside at night because it’s quiet 

Surprisingly nosey, not in a bad way he’s just really curious about stuff.

Likes dark/muted colours.

His favourite book is a picture of Dorian grey.

Weirdly into cryptids and other mysteries.

Was TERRIFIED of the Bermuda triangle as a kid.

Loves writing poetry but enjoys writing in general.

Semi popular writer on AO3 for classical literature, started because Keating told him to publicise  some of creative writing.

Runs his good reads account like the navy.

Charlie:chaotic academia

Regularly gets uniform carded for everything; shirt unbuttoned and untucked, tie loosened, he never has his blazer on and his jumper is perpetually tied around his waist. 

Has a mason jar type cup on his nightstand that is always full of a mixture of different energy drinks and fizzy drinks/soda’s, Cameron says it looks like paint water.

Banned from reading out loud in English class pre-Keating because he got a little too into the role of Jack in Lord of the Flies .

Point blank refuses to do P.E and is always ‘losing’ his kit.

Shockingly serious about music class, deeply respects the teacher and never misses a lesson.

Post stick notes EVERYWHERE

Writes his notes in highlighter and felt tips

Went through a phase of bringing a flask to school instead of a water bottle because he thought it looked cool.

Spark notes BIGGEST FAN.

A saxophone prodigy despite being unable to read sheet music.

Neil:light academia

Loves Shakespeare and the theatre in general

Good grades in every class but really shines when it comes to the arts

Eats his lunch in the English classroom with the other poets

Forges his fathers signature for school trips so much half his teachers have no idea what his dads handwriting actually looks like.

Hates biology because he’s scared of blood

Always says that Todd is his favourite author/poet.

Really good memory, able to learn lines at shocking speeds. 

Finds it difficult to multitask; has to have instrumental music playing otherwise he gets distracted.

Prefers plays over books.

Collects playbills.

Meeks:classic academia 

Loves typewriters, inherited one from his grandparents and uses it alllll the time.

has a polaroid camera and uses it to take either the best candid's or the  most diabolical mugs there's no in-between.

Owns a shocking amount of sweater vests.

Has a record collection.

Loves those retro 50’s themed diners/drive-ins, drags Pitts and the poets to those all the time.

Really into history

Owns an analogue radio.

Taught himself Latin one summer to impress Pitts, and is now fluent.

His entire wardrobe is vintage themed.

Favourite book is the Outsiders by S.E Hinton.

Knox:romantic academia

Writes love letters and poetry whenever he has a crush on someone, used to keep them under his bed but swiftly changed that hiding place after watching ‘to all the boys I've loved before.’ with his sister, they now live in a shoebox on his trophy/bookshelf.

Loves the romantics big fan of love poetry as a whole.

Has definitely tried to serenade someone before.

 Self taught guitarist.

Has only ever received on card on Valentines Day, it was from Charlie in year nine it’s one of Knox’s most prized possessions.

Loves Romeo and Juliet.

Thinks ‘say anything’ is the height of romance 

Subconsciously wants to be romanced for once instead of the other way round. 

 Has Pinterest boards dedicated to romantic quotes 

His favourite movie is the princess bride.

pitts:’nerdy’ Academia 

really into the roman empire 

Loves renaissance fairs and goes every year.

REALLY into dungeons and dragons.

Loves going to random museum exhibits.

Spent half his childhood hyper fixated on the Titanic, was super excited to watch the movie and completely heartbroken when he realised it was a fictional story and not a documentary.

Brilliant at chess.

Knows random historical facts.

Horrible at remembering faces but never forgets a name.

Loves mythology of all kinds.

Really good at architecture; his middle school used to have a architecture competition where  you had 2 minutes to make a house out of marshmallows and dry spaghetti the most stable one won, Pitts won every year.

Cameron:dark academia 

Keeps his notes/homework in colour coded folders and files

A proper perfectionist and  chronic overachiever.

Writes in pencil or fountain Pen.

the gifted kid who REFUSED to burn out.

Only gets attention at home when he’s doing well at school, so he throws himself into his studies.

Drinks more coffee than water

Can play the piano, was entered in a school concert and his whole family came. He was terrified of embarrassing or disappointing them so he overdid it and played so hard his fingers bled.

Has a copy of every graded test practice or otherwise in his room so he can go over them before his exams.

Hates English with a passion because it’s the one lesson where there are no rules.

Once spent an entire night going over his English notes before a test and was so overtired he fell asleep during the exam and failed it. None of the poets bring it up not even Charlie because that day was the first time he’d seen Cameron cry.

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

inspired by @alastcrs's chaggie comic, a sequel of sorts XD

Vaggie: "Sweetie, tell me you didn't give Sir Pentious dating advice."

Charlie: "No? I didn't?"

Vaggie: "Then babe what did you do?"

Charlie: "I just showed you off a little~"

Vaggie: (groaning) "The picture thing? The, have you seen my girlfriend joke? Again?"

Charlie: "Yep! Why?"

Vaggie: "We have to go save Pentious from Cherri Bomb."

Charlie: "Why would we need to- oh no. Oh, noooo-"

Vaggie: "Oh fucking yes."

-elsewhere and in danger-

Sir Pentious: (at random sinner) "Have you sssseen Miss Cherri Bomb~? Ssshe-"

Cherri Bomb: "DUDE WHATE THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!?"

Sir Pentious: "-ah, I am, apprecsssiating you-?"

Cherri Bomb: "BY HELPING THE BOUNTRY HUNTERS FIND ME???"

Sir Pentious: "What- no! No I only, I wassss merely-"

Cherri Bomb: "THAT'S MY WANTED POSTER, DICK HEAD!"

Sir Pentious: "Well. Ah. Yesss."

Cherri Bomb: "GIVE IT HERE SO I CAN BURN IT"

Sir Pentious: (clutching wanted poster to chest) "Pleassse Cherri, noooo! It issssss, the only quality photo of you that I possessss-!"

Cherri Bomb: "Then just ASK me for another one like a normal person! Or stalk me like a normal creep! ANYTHING THAT DOESN'T END WITH WITH ME STUFFED AND MOUNTED ON SOME OVERLORD'S FUCKING WALL!!! Like, fuck- do you KNOW how much important shit I've blown up???"

Sir Pentious: "Oh yessss! You are very accomplissshed!" (beaming) "The weaponsss casssche last from year was essspecssially beautiful! All thossse, ssssecondary explosionssss...~"

Cherri Bomb: "YOU'RE gonna be a secondary explosion if you don't hand that poster over Right Now."

Sir Pentious: "Erm, before I do ssso... might I humbly requessst a replasscement photo of-"

Cherri Bomb: "No." (lights fuse) "Let go or go sky high with it."

Sir Pentious: "AH-!"

Charlie: (running) "Pen!" (skids to stop and grabs vaggie) "Holy shit that's a bomb- PEN JUST LET IT GO!!!"

Vaggie: "Pentious drop and take cover! It's not worth it!"

Sir Pentious: "But- sssshe ISSS worth-"

Cherri Bomb: "Bye bitch." (tosses bomb) (Runs)

Sir Pentious: "Ah, ssh-"

KABLOOMY

Vaggie: "...."

Charlie: "......"

Vaggie: "...we're gonna add self-worth sessions and healthy relationship boundary workshops to the hotel activities list, yeah?"

Charlie: "Oh yes. Definitely."

(splat) (splatter) (Splotch)

Charlie: "After, um, after Pen's collected himself a bit."

Vaggie: "Yeah... Maybe hold back on the 'i love my girlfriend' jokes around him too?"

Charlie: "....I'll." (pained grimace) "Try."

Vaggie: "All I ask, babe." (smooches her cheek) "C'mon. Let's gather up our snake man and head home."

Charlie: (sighs) "It would've worked if he'd just had a better picture-"

Vaggie: "Charlie."

Charlie: "They're cute together! He's all over her- it's adorable!"

Vaggie: "He's all over the street right now."

Charlie: "She used one of her better bombs on him this time." (picks up an arm and part of pentious's tail) "That has to mean something, right??"

Vaggie: "More work for us."

Charlie: "Hmm~ I bet you they kiss before the next extermination~"

Vaggie: "Sweetie." (grabs other arm and the torso) "If they kiss before one of them DIES I'll count it as your win."

Charlie: "No other time limit?"

Vaggie: "None."

Charlie: "And the prize if I win...?"

Vaggie: "Extra kisses. And I'll join your Cherri x Pentious group chat."

Charlie: "DEAL!"

Vaggie & Charlie: (shake pentious's hands over it)

-one kiss and death later-

>user (SpearOfSappho) has joined group BOMBSIRWAY FOREVR!!!

SpearOfSappho: hey

cute'n'cuddlycapricorn: ;-;

SpearOfSappho: charlie im so sorry

SpearOfSappho: would the extra kisses help?

cute'n'cuddlycapricorn: ! THEY KISSED AND NO ONE EVEN TOOK ANY PICS OF IT!!!!

SpearOfSappho: oh

cute'n'cuddlycapricorn: ANGEL x DEMON EMEMIES TO FRIENDS TO LOVERS SLOW BURN STAR CROSSED ROMANCE 100k LETS FUCKING GOOOOO!!!!!!!!

[owo-writing-man]

Play stupid games when stupid prizes really.

Lucky it ended with just a confrontation really. Know a lot of people who would do a lot worse. Don't call random people in public slurs. Especially if you're gonna run away when they come at you about it.

If you're talking shit. At least be able to put your money where your mouth is. Before you crawl back to your sever talking about "being scared for you life"

Play stupid games. Win stupid prizes.

-Charlie (technically I'm not supposed to make any post on Aspen. Or things in general. But this man has thoughts)

[realshadow01-blog]

*Pop* just like a candy apple! {Platonic Radioapple!}

Introduction

|| Hello! I just wanted to say hello again as I've been gone for almost two years, I think. :3 I wanted to start writing again, for some reason, and it's 2:43am. I am not sure if I would post this or not, depends if I feel like it.||

|| Sorry for the absence, and if any characters are ooc (out of character) too! I have watched all of season 1 - but I can't capture the characters personalities that well. And sorry if my grammar or wording is bad, I don't know that much English as I thought. ||

|| This is a tickle drabble/short fan fiction post, and I don't expect any - but I will be taking requests for drabbles and headcannons! ||

>> || Summary for introduction: I do not know much English, I haven't captured the characters that well, this is a tickle-based, short fan fiction and I'm sorry for my (almost) two year absence. And, I am taking requests for drabbles and headcannons (no art or fics :<) || <<

|| Warnings (I guess!): Tickles, Swearing ||

---

So, the Demon is back again! Back again with a new sense of humor and a new ruthless torturing method. The Radio Demon is back! He's returned, what does it mean for a certain rival? Or a few?~ The future will decide...~

It was a surprisingly quiet day in the Hazbin Hotel. Everyone was either out celebrating or having a full day in bed after they defeated the Angels. People were bummed out, injured and flat-out exhausted.

Lucifer decided to stay at the Hotel for a while, or at least visit often, and he was watching TV in the common room as he held his most prized rubber duck. Charlie was out with Vaggie, Angel and Husk were out too and pretty much the only people in the hotel were Niffty, Alastor and Lucifer.

Alastor was nowhere to be found, I mean, where would you expect an unpredictable being like him to be?

Nifty was off cleaning.

You already heard about Lucifer.

That changed when Alastor's shadow crawled around the floors of the hotel, until he emerged from thin air. His grin was as sinister and menacing as always, although something was off. It looked slightly strained. He was preciously annoyed by another Overlord, but we won't get into that, but it could be why... He then went to go find Lucifer, for some reason.

Lucifer was throwing his rubber duck against the wall and catching it like a ball, abandoning the television so all it became was simple background noise. He continued to throw the rubber duck until it hit Alastor in the face.

“Oops....” Lucifer giggled mockingly, not in the slightest sorry, but decided to apologize anyway to make matters better for him, if they were becoming bad. Although, Alastor, in return, grabbed the rubber duck and crushed it in his bare hand, sensing Lucifer's infuriated pity, despite Lucifer showing no emotion whatsoever. “Was that necessary, Alastor?”

“No,” Alastor's grin grew as he threw the shriveled rubber duck aside, his radio filter still as strong as ever, “but I wanted to. Doesn't that seem fair?~”

Lucifer groaned, annoyed. “What kind of shitty question is that!?”

“A reasonable question that needs answering.”

“Well, I won't fuckin’ answer!”

“...”

“As you wish.” Alastor's grin grew, but still looked a little strained.

Lucifer, funny enough, saw his strained grin and smirked.

“Is the demon cracking at something?~ Are you pissy about your wound from Adam?~” Lucifer retorted, giggling, which absolutely broke Alastor's patience and before either of them knew it, Alastor had thrown himself at Lucifer and pinned him to the floor, scribbling his claws into Lucifer's sensitive, tender sides, earning a surprised squeal and a string of squeaky laughter. “EEK!!~ FUHUHUHUCK!!- ALAHAHASTOR!!??”

Alastor had just smirked, moving his hands to random spots to keep the short king occupied, sneakily slithering his tendrils to Lucifer and restraining him swiftly as the tips of the tendrils restraining him tickled into the crooks of his wings - the 'wings pits' if you will. No matter what they're called, they sent Lucifer into hysteria.

Lucifer's screaming, wheezing and frantic laughter could be heard basically throughout the whole of Hell from how loud it was. Alastor only had the slightest issues with that, so he closed some doors to prevent people from coming in, if they did try. “ALAHAHAHASTOR- WHEHEHEN IHI CAHAHATCH YOUHUHU ALAHAHASTOR!!- GAHAHAHA!!?”

That wasn't the worst of it, oh boy...

The main reason the phrase “Lucifer's screaming, wheezing and frantic laughter could be heard basically throughout the whole of Hell” was used because it was the truth. Not only was his laughter loud, but Alastor had been devilish enough to broadcast his laughter live! :)

“Go on, Lucifer,” *Alastor smiled menacingly, voice hushed, “Make the microphone pop like a candy apple...~” He teased, leaving him to face the torture and humiliation for a bit.

---

hope this was good!! sorry if it was short, i was pondering over a draft from a year ago and I haven't written a fan fiction in a hot minute >.<

{This MIGHT have some more parts!!!}

[ambrioletteels]

H a v e a t a s t e~🍎✨

Here it is! The Twitter 3K DTIYS!

Rules below plus some other notes-👇

Thank you guys so much for following me! I can’t believe how much you guys have grown in numbers. 😊 Alright! Rules, descriptions, deadlines, etc below!

How to qualify:

-Heart this post

-Draw your version and quote this post! (Or else I won’t see them 😭)

Winners will be picked by my favorites this time! Instead of random, I thought that might be different!

Rules: You can change positions, but be sure Roo is offering the apple to Charlie and their outfits are the same~

Deadline: November 15th

Winners announcement: November 16th-17th!

PRIZES:

First Place: Full body, up to four figures, background, colored piece. (Can discuss)

Second Place: Full bodies, up to three figures, background simple, flat color piece.

Third place: Full bodies, up to two figures, background simple, black and white piece.

Rules for Prizes:

💕Essentially everything is discussable within reason. No illegal content, but some ‘problematic’ ships or situations are fine as are non-Charlastor ships etc. OCs are welcomed! I prefer Hazbin Hotel but can do any show/etc. NSFW, SFW, small comic idea, absolutely doable! Please ask if you need more clarified before entering!

Also, for me to get the shop completed and open I’ll be taking a hiatus! Will be updating Anemone, but otherwise focusing on the art for the shop for an entire reveal.

I CANT WAIT TO SEE WHAT YOU TALENTED PEOPLE DO! ❤️❤️❤️

[blakenation1]

Dead Poets Society @ an orientation?!?!

I have my college orientation tomorrow and I'm so nervous it's not even funny. So! To cope I am thinking "What would the Dead Poets Society do?" Under the cut 🤔

Cameron is trying to be as productive as he can. He's going to every tent, asking every question that comes to mind, scheduling meetings with advisors that he probably doesn't even need, he's making as many friends as he can. Taking orientation serious AF.

Knox is so nervous bless his heart. He shows up to orientation prepared though. I can see him now (if it's a college orientation) with his little like casual outfit on, backpack on with whatever he will need in it, distressed look on his face, hands gripping his backpack straps like his backpack is gonna grow legs and run away. HELP HIM!!! He ends up having a good time and making a lot of friends though.

Neil is excited, literally calm down bby. He shows up and is talking to anyone and everyone. "Hey! I like your scarf! You know- I had this friend one time and he had this scarf-" literally him. I need Neil to come up to me and strike up a conversation with me at orientation. Please I'm so scared.

Charlie is having a blast, social anxiety is scared of him (and Neil, obvi). Probably flirting with some folks, I get it Charlie, lots of college folks are very pretty. Honestly, a lot like Neil. Running around making friends, getting to know campus life and all that jazz. Falls asleep during presentations been there done that.

Meeks is LOVING the campus landmarks, "oh look theres the [insert mascot here] statue. Did you know in 1932-" literally knows all kinds of random facts about whatever university he's going to. Talks it up big time with other people in his major study. "yeah back in school me and my friend made this radio and-" blah blah blah lots of smarty pants language. Im my mind, Pitts and Meeks ended up going to the same school i wish and they'd have lots of fun together. Eating lunch together, pointing out fun little things, "oh look at that funny looking car!" etc.

Pitts is nervous when he first gets there, but he ends up loosening up and maybe even trying a few new things. If they had games or something, I know he would really enjoy that. "Meeks, look! They're having a scavenger hunt, I'm gonna go win >:)" Yay for Pittsie, he had a lot of fun and maybe even brought home some prizes or something.

Todd is very nervous, maybe ready to go home, feeling overstimulated. I get it Todd, I get it. Why I'm bringing fidgets tomorrow so I have something to keep my hands busy. Anyway, Todd, majoring in English, ends up chatting with the poetry club, and maybe even a few new clubs, seeing what's around. After talking casually with a few other people in his major, I can see him feeling a lot better, and becoming more lively, now that he knows a few people.

Yay for Dead Poets Society!! Surviving orientation!! This is so niche but I feel less nervous I reckon!!

[radiaurapple]

Lucid Dreams of New Orleans: Chapter 12

CHAPTER SUMMARY: IN WHICH Alastor finally learns the truth.

FIC SUMMARY: Lucifer has always kept his distance from sinners. It’s what keeps him (relatively) sane — if he gets too close, he is haunted by visions of the tragic mortal lives that landed them in Hell. But in his new life at the Hotel, it is more difficult than ever to stay away — and when it comes to light that his daughter’s insufferable facilities manager is gravely wounded, it falls to Lucifer to deliver his soul from Death. In so doing, he falls headfirst into the sins, past lives, and heartbreaks of the one human whose contradictions he is powerless to resist.

it's saturday so it's new chapter time!!! I went outside of my comfort zone for the art this time (with mixed results) but i really wanted to capture this moment this chapter!! ALSO we have a teeny lil discord server now for brain rot related to the fic so feel free to join in!

[AO3 LINK]

Chapter preview below!

Humanity has conceived of many delightful inventions over the eons. Lucifer could spend ages listing his favorites: the printing press, engines, soda, aqueducts, cereal with little prizes inside. But of all the surprises over the years, he’s pretty sure nothing tops electricity. 

The manipulation of electromagnetic fields has always been second-nature to Lucifer — he just never got the point. He was fine with living in a Hell lit by flames. Then humans discovered electricity, and Lucifer was blown away by all the potential they saw in it. Their little contraptions won Lucifer over immediately; over the years, he’s created hundreds of generators to support Hell’s burgeoning electrical grid. 

Which is to say that making a generator for the hotel is second-nature to him, even though he’s exhausted and the work involves a bunch of fiddly little parts. He’s only been at it for an hour and he’s already made good progress, working half in the hotel and half in the palace workshop, thanks to the portal he’s opened in the center of both rooms. He leaves it open so he’ll be able to hear if Alastor or Charlie come by while he’s in the palace, or if something implodes while he’s in the hotel — a very real possibility as he’s currently got the vacuum pump depressurizing the generator’s antimatter chamber. 

He gets up from his workbench in the hotel, trips on an empty wire roll, and stumbles through the portal into his workshop in search of motor oil. All of Lucifer’s creation stuff is piled at random on the floor-to-ceiling shelves that line the far wall of his workshop; he unfolds his wings and flits up to rifle through the bottles on the top shelf. 

“Lucifer?” 

It’s Alastor. 

“In here,” Lucifer says.

Alastor pokes his head through the portal just as Lucifer sticks his hand in something slippery and mysterious — he jerks his hand back and an assortment of solvents topple off the shelf and splatter on the floor. Alastor laughs; Lucifer scowls over his shoulder. “Not a word.” 

“What an utter mess,” Alastor says pleasantly. 

“Right,” Lucifer says dryly. He flaps his wings and alights on a table in front of Alastor. “Do you need something?” 

Alastor steps through the portal with a mug in his hands. He isn’t smiling — is this how it’s going to be from now on? Has Alastor decided he no longer needs to smile when they’re alone?

“I’ve brought more coffee,” Alastor says. “Though I’m not sure you should accept it in your present state.” He glances pointedly at Lucifer’s hand. 

Lucifer glances down — his fingers are dripping something thick and blue onto the tile floor. He groans and magicks the stuff away.

Alastor holds out the mug. “It’s a wonder you’re able to accomplish anything amidst such chaos.”

Lucifer takes the coffee and glances around at his workshop — at the overflowing shelves, the pile of random lithium-ion batteries in the corner, the charred remains of an exploded rollercoaster car for Lu Lu World which he’d never bothered to clean up. How long has it been since anyone visited the palace? Has it really been a couple … hundred years? 

“Hah — I get by somehow,” Lucifer says. 

Alastor steps around the table, studying the machinery around the edges of the room. He pauses at the narrow unmade bed tucked in the corner. Lucifer’s face heats — he’d forgotten about the ducky quilt. 

“Do you spend most of your time here?” 

“Um,” Lucifer says. “I sleep down here, yeah. I’m usually making stuff when I’m at home. This is where I work on the big stuff. Engines and … whatever. I have a smaller workshop upstairs where I make the, uh — the ducks.”

“May I see it?” 

“You want the tour?” 

“If you please,” Alastor says.

“Uh, okay — sure. I can do that. Yep.” He crosses the room and opens the door to the hall. “Right this way.” 

Lucifer heads for the entry hall. Alastor follows; their footsteps echo on the tile. The main hallway is lined with red doors, most of which have been shut for years. The palace is larger than the hotel, but for as long as Lucifer has lived alone, he’s used only a small fraction of its rooms. 

“Where do these doors lead?” Alastor says. 

“Oh — nowhere,” Lucifer says. “Just rooms that haven’t been used in a long time.” He points at the closed doors. “That one used to be Charlie’s playroom — on the right here was the music room. This was Lilith’s office. And this was Charlie’s classroom, back when she had a tutor.”

They step out into the entry hall. On their right, a wide marble staircase leads to the second and third floors; Lucifer leads Alastor past it, through the wide archway beside the stairs. 

“This is the kitchen,” he says. “I’ve got a bunch of snacks from Earth in the pantry, if there’s anything you want to try — I put a spell on the whole room to keep food from going bad.” 

Lucifer sits on one of the barstools at the kitchen island and watches Alastor peruse his collection of sugar cereals as though it were a shelf in a library. 

“Which cereal is your favorite?” 

“Hoo boy — that’s a tricky question. Um — I’ve definitely got a soft spot for — see that blue box on your right there? That’s Cotton Candy Crunch.” 

Alastor pulls the box off the shelf and regards it with a raised eyebrow.

“Yes! That one. It’s so good — but they discontinued it a couple of years back.” 

Alastor opens the box, pours a couple of pieces into his hand, and pops one into his mouth.

“Hm,” he says. 

“Yeah, they’re, uh — they’re pretty sweet.” Lucifer hops down off the barstool and slides the cereal from Alastor’s hand into his own — their hands brush together, and Lucifer’s kitchen becomes Alastor’s, in the yellow house. There’s a pile of dishes in the sink, a layer of dust over Alastor’s mother’s cast-iron pan. This memory is near the end of Alastor’s life, when he lived alone. 

Lucifer glances up and meets Alastor’s hazel eyes. Alastor is older than usual; orange evening light filters through the kitchen window and catches in the strands of gray in Alastor’s curls, glints off the copper frames of his round eyeglasses. Lucifer struggles to place this memory among the hundreds of evenings at the end of Alastor’s life in which he came home to an empty house, made a sandwich, smoked on the porch, and then went to sleep. 

Lucifer studies the faint lines that were just beginning to appear at the corners of Alastor’s eyes in his early thirties. What might Alastor have looked like, if he’d had the chance to grow old? Lucifer’s body might as well be carved from stone; it has never aged, never changed, apart from the switch flipped when he fell — but he knows enough of human souls to envy the terms of their existence, where time is precious and the world is always in motion. Alastor’s thirty-one year human life had passed, for Lucifer, in the blink of an eye; the time had meant nothing to him, and so he had slept it away in complete isolation, wandering the palace halls and watching rubber ducks fill up its empty corners.

Alastor is still studying Lucifer with that intensity that always makes Lucifer feel utterly transparent. Some corner of Lucifer’s mind prickles with the urge to turn away, to crack a joke, to make a passable attempt at hiding the jumble of emotions playing out across his face — but Lucifer can’t move — he is transfixed by the way the sunlight catches in Alastor’s eyelashes, like paint in a paintbrush.

“Um,” Lucifer says.

The memory dissolves; they are back in the palace kitchen. Lucifer remembers the cereal in his hand and pours it into his mouth — no point in letting perfectly good Cotton Candy Crunch go to waste. 

[welcome-to-roomba-fazbender]

Random Christmas Prize Time! 5

“... to be honest i don’t even want this thing if no one claims this prize i’ll just throw it away i hate this shirt with every fiber of my being”

“First person to send me the code *SLIVER* Thru an ask will win a t-shirt this post will be updated once the winner appears!”

“the winner will be @’d and their prize will be added to the post as well”

congratulations??? to @davidthephoneguy​ you’ve won todays prize ... i wouldn’t be happy about this it smells like fish and curdled strawberry milk but here’s your prize!

[cryingatships]

Royalty au KimKenta keeps plaguing my waking moments but I don't have any time to write an actual fic, so here's some random thoughts-

Tony's an asshole king who has a legitimate son Kenta (along with multiple illegitimate ones), who is supposed to be the crown prince, but turned out to be an omega and is hence struck out from the line of succession.

Tony plans on holding a tournament beckoning all the brave and worthy from his kingdom (and also from other kingdoms) to duel for the Prince's hand, hoping to secure himself a powerful warrior or a wealthy noble house as an ally. This is partly because he's aware that the peasant of his kingdom will protest soon and maybe even overturn his rule, unless he has some strong/filthy rich friends to repel the attack, and partly cause he's an evil evil man who would not hesitate to auction his son off just to get rid of him from the line of succession safely.

He plans to make Way his next successor, but also considers Babe, his two illegitimate sons, and encourages them to compete in politics, duels etc except Way and Babe grew up together as unfavoured illegitimate children in a backwater caste far, far away from the royal palace and is thus very good friends who would rather help e/o out of Tony's wrath than fight for the throne.

Also Way is in love with the leader of the rebel peasants Pete and is not too eager for the throne anyway, and Babe would rather ride off as an adventurer into the horizon with a puppy-like, loyal page he met into the palace called Charlie. (Way is a lil jealous that Charlie becomes closer to Babe and takes his place as Babe's closest confidant, but he's busy planning Tony's downfall with Pete to pay it much mind.)

Anyway, as the tournament is arranged, knights and nobles rush in from diff corners of the kingdom, eager for the hand of omega who used to be the crown prince and was set to be the next king. Knights also come from far-away lands, and with them comes Kim, a very average and inconspicuous beta in his brown horse and the lack of finely crafted details in his armour.

In the opening day of the tournament, Tony greets the competing knights and nobles from a high podium, with three sons at his side, basically showing off his two strong successors—one enigma and one alpha, both his special powers—and the prize of the tournament, the 'beautiful' omega prince Kenta.

Kenta has the most frightening scowl, mastered from years of experience in attending council meetings with wily old coots from the nobility, as he hears Tony's words. He knows he has none of the so-called 'lovely omegan qualities' of docility, soft words and gentleness, and he certainly had not stayed cloistered inside the walls of the palace all his life like a proper little omega. He knows it, Tony knows it, and everyone in or below the podium knows it, but the all keep quiet and smile cause there are wayy too many benefits in winning the hand of the sole omega prince of the royal family.

As Tony is going on and on in his speech about the kingdom's fertile lands and it's military strength (and taking not a world about the starving population and the discontent brewing underneath), Kenta meets the eyes of an unassuming knight standing at the very back of the crowd—Kim. He feels a zap through his mind, the world stops, they both get lost in e/o's eyes etc etc, but then Tony's speech is over and the tournament is set to begin.

Kenta and Kim's eyes hardly stray from e/o and even Babe and Way makes note of Kenta's sudden strangeness, even though Kenta is mostly quiet all the time.

Kim wins through the initial rounds of the tournament, rising from an unknown little knight from the wilderness to one of the favourites to win the prince's hand. (Yes, there are bets going on about who's gonna be the prince's groom, you think Tony will let go of such a lucrative source of income?).

Kenta does not get to attend every single day of the competition because Tony is busy which means Babe and Way are also busy, extra busy in fact, but he makes sure to know the results of each day's duels well. He used to be the crown prince, he's got connections.

Kenta also gets flowers and an intricately curved dagger that looks like an heirloom and a few trinkets that look handmade and some delicacies that he has never seen before (and he was the crown prince with access to every delicacy in the kingdom) in his windowsill every day, but his rooms are on the second floor of the palace's most well guarded section so that def makes him raise his brows.

While all this is happening, while strolling in the palace gardens one day, Kenta comes across Way and Babe talking together behind a particularly high hedge in one of the less well-kept, semi-abandoned parts of the garden. This also makes him raise his brows, because while he knew Way and Babe grew up in the same palace, he (and everyone else) were under the impression that they were never close, and after coming back to the palace they have been separates even more by Tony's ploys and essentially turned into enemies fighting for the throne.

So why were they huddled so close together?

Way and Babe also see him and Babe grit his teeth and pull out the dagger strapped to his waist, which in turn makes Kenta grip the dagger hidden inside his clothes, the one he got on his windowsill, since Tony had confusticated all his weapons after his came out as omega under the guise of omegas needing to be soft and gentle and helpless. (the truth is that Tony was afraid Kenta will harm his face and bring down his value in the marriage market, or try to kill himself outright.) Kenta knows he has accidentally stumbled onto some secret between the two would-be crown princes, and would now be killed to keep his silence. He's ready to fight to death and take someone, or both, down with him. (he sort of also hates Way and Babe for taking away his position and his secure life, even though deep in his heart he knows that Tony's the real culprit.)

But Way holds Babe's waist and stops him and to Kenta's surprise, Prince Babe, well knows for his brash, aggressive, I-listen-to-no-one-not-even-the-king personality, listens and relents.

Way calls him closer, and then holds a knife to Kenta's throat saying that since Kenta has chanced upon their secret he will now know it all, and threatens Kenta to keep his silence because their plan will succeed, even if they need to die for it, and that he has the resources and the will to drag Kenta along to hell with him if Kenta spills it out.

Then they tell Kenta. Mostly Way tells him, while Babe glowers at him in silence. Apparently, Way is in cahoots with the peasant leader Pete (Kenta does not miss the stars in Way's eyes as he speaks the name. He meets Babe's eyes and they both know what it means and swiftly look away, knowing better than to bring it up), and the peasant rebels are all ready to kill Tony and are much, much more powerful than Kenta had ever known even with his extensive information network within the kingdom. Pete is also a son of a

Way: You were not supposed to know but as your step brothers it's our duty to keep you safe, so we told you everything. Hope this gives you enough time to make your own plans and escape with your little suitor, brother. Now stay quiet abt this or I swear upon heavens I WILL kill you, brothers or not. Kenta: Wait suitor?? Babe: You think we don't know that someone keeps putting courting gifts on your windowsill? We may be new here in the palace, but we got networks, y'know. Kenta: *panicking tho he tells himself it's cause he doesn't want an innocent man to die and not because he likes the person leaving them or anything* Then.... Tony...??? Babe: What, you think that incompetent fool knows anything other than to raise taxes, hear flattery, and get a new mistress every season? Kenta: ....Then who is it? Way: *winking* that's for us to know and you to find out.

I have MUCH THOUGHTS still, maybe i'll write them in another post sometime

[cherry-pop-elf]

I hope this ask finds you well. I wanted to request some headcannons you may have about Bill Weasley? They could be like general hc about him or relationship hc, whatever you like.

Oh hell yeah-! My favorite mentally unstable boy! I love Bill so much. There is so much untapped potential with him. Kisses for you anon. On your little sunglasses head-! 💋

Some Random Bill Weasley 🧡 Headcanons

He was into curse breaking before he even had a wand. There was even a case where Arthur came home with a cursed watch someone snuck into his pocket, and Bill was able to de curse it. No wand needed. He was meant for greatness from then on

The reason Ginny doesn’t have any real long turn damage from the diary, besides ya know trauma, was because of Bill. Given his history of curse breaking, and 100% defiantly dealing with a Horcrux before, he was able to make sure she was able to recover to the best of his abilities. Helps that Ginny is a fighter all the same

His patronus used to be that of a lion, but after the werewolf attack it became that of a wolf.

He has a wand with a Horned Serpent Horn core. It’s perfect for a curse breaker. To help them sense danger when they can’t see or feel it themselves

The only reason he has long hair was he convinced Molly that he grew it out to help Ginny not feel ‘girly’ for having long hair. Charlie hates him for stealing his plans

He moved back to working at Gringotts after the war. As to be closer to George, given Fred’s passing. The goblins welcomed him with open arms, and give him scheduled time off for when the full moon comes around

Given he is a curse breaker, it literally sucks the life out of you. So he is rather pale and slender. It also means mental health is extremely important, so he has a lot of vacations. Along with is the family therapist. As if he wasn’t being the eldest

He works a side hobby with trying to find a cure, some kind of new medication, for Werewolfism. Since he himself did not suffer its extreme effects, he figured due to being a curse breaker, he figured a break through. That if you treat the wound quickly, as if a typical curse, it can be stopped

He is a leading advocate for werewolf equality, and uses his curse breaking title to hold weight in what he does and says. Hermione is proud, and Lupin is as well

He is also 100% part of Abigail’s Pack

And might have possibly slept with her dad at some point shushhhhh

Gerald Grey x Bill Weasley Art When?

He 100% is now super into pet play because of the incident, btw. Whoopsies!

Fleur sure isn’t complaining

He’s now called the “family dog” and he has bitten people so that didn’t help

Anyone that pisses him off he has bitten and made comments about how he ‘licked your stuff’ to scare them. You play stupid games you get stupid prizes. The goblins love him so you are out of luck

Speaking of them, it’s actually canon he was taken in as a curse breaker after Hogwarts. Meaning he’s probs one of the youngest curse breakers ever at being 17-18. So the goblins 100% are a bunch of old men with their ginger kid. Fuck with him? You have to deal with a bunch of angry goblins. Leave their adopted ginger alone!

[internetgiraffekid1673]

Hello there I have another random question for you because I'm bored and I also genuinely want to know, what are you dressing up as for Halloween? Or if you don't celebrate Halloween or your just not dressing up this year what would you want to be and why?

Sorry that it's kinda random but Halloween is in like two days and I'm genuinely curious because Halloween is my favorite holiday and I just love dressing up in general!

I'm also asking because I. One of your posts you said you like ranting and just talking about stuff and I love talking as well so, but if you would like me to stop my barrage of odd questions I will.

AHAHAHA! YES! MORE QUESTIONS! I love ranting, even/especially if it's the same person over and over!

Halloween is also my favorite holiday, but I almost always do the most low effort costume ever. It's like a tradition. Part of how I celebrate. I think best prize for least effort goes to the year I went as a Boy Scout. . .where I just put on my scout uniform because I AM a Boy Scout.

This year I'm a witch. I have a black overall dress, a black button down shirt, black leggings and black socks along with three different black jackets I can wear to stay decently warm. I bought the hat at a Spirit Halloween. It's ridiculously, and I mean STUPIDLY tall. Here's a picture with a can of febreze for height reference:

I think if I had infinite time, money, and resources, I'd probably dress as Serge the blue fairy from Disenchanted: the Trials of Cinderella. Nobody would know who I am, but I frankly do not care.

It is my favorite book of all time from my favorite series of all time: The Land of Tyme. It's fractured fairytales (so retellings of classic fairytales through different angles and with a lot of variation), and I think it is the single best take I have ever seen on all of them. The worldbuilding is so in depth and immaculate. There are currently three books out: Grounded: The Adventures of Rapunzel; Disenchanted: The Trials of Cinderella; and Transformed: The Perils of the Frog Prince. It updates at the pace of a constipated snail in a heatwave, and I could not love them more.

I mostly celebrate Halloween by having trick-or-treater duty. We have a dog who would go ballistic if every single person had to knock on the door, so it's better to just sit outside. My dad and I usually do it together. To really make it special, instead of passing out candy, we do a hot cocoa/apple cider bar. We have a kettle of hot water and kids can make cider or cocoa and then put whatever toppings they want in it (marshmallows, whipped cream, sprinkles, honey, cinnamon sugar, different coffee creamers, etc.) This way, we actually get to talk to the kids and compliment their cute costumes.

We usually take our small portable DVD player outside and watch It's The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown and Hocus Pocus in between waves of kids. My dad almost always dresses as a scarecrow so that he can put on a lot of layers to keep warm without anybody noticing.

It's really special to me and makes me so very happy. I love the kids, I love the time I get to spend with my dad, I love the old cheesy Halloween movies, and I love the Holiday Spirit.

Thanks so much for asking! What are you going as? What do you wish you could go as? How do you usually celebrate, and what are your plans for this year? What's your favorite non-Halloween occasion to dress up? Both you specifically and everyone else who sees this? I wanna know!

[the0retically]

JRWI What If: Intergalactic Gameshow:

That was a wild ride and I adored it so so much here are my thoughts :)

- This is just friends being unhinged and playing D&D I adore this

- GRIZZ JUST CANONIZED CONNOR DYING TO THE RATS?????

- CHIP IS HERE AND A BABY???? AND 200 FEET TALL??

- “Her face shows disgust ‘Gillion I hate babies’” ICONIC LETS GO ASTER

- BABY JAY FERIN?????? JAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- This is utter insanity I love it

- God Gill is having Such a bad day he just cannot get out of this situation with baby Chip and baby Jay

- “IS THIS THE FAVOR NIKLAUS? IS THIS THE FAVOR?????” GILLION PLEASE

- I love the bit about Jesus and Vyncent sharing the whole story of the Bible

- Vyncent being able to see the others health bar??? That’s so cool what the heck

- Aster giving so much lore because Mythborne didn’t continue is so so fun

- :((((((( this trio is so sweet, I love them, they’re like the perfect group for this, they’re so fun

- They’re just unhinged

- MORE APPEAR EVERY TIME GILL GETS CAUGHT????

- :((( I miss the pretzel noises

- WAIT WHY ARE THEY JUST PLAYING CHESS??

- God I love aster and gill they’re friendship is so nice

- PRETZEL GOT A NAT 20 TO BEAT ASTER AT CHESS!!!!

- GILL WITH SANCTUARY IS SO GOOD!!! HES JUST THROWING RANDOM THINGS OUTSIDE NOW??

- Asters crying noooooooo it’s ok girl!! Chess isn’t everyone’s strong suit!

- I love the bit of Charlie lowering his volume and yelling to create the image of his characters doing chaos in the background

- Oh?? Charlie why do you want just a little bit left?? HAHHA HOLY SHIT HES BLASTING THE ROOMBAS INTO THE GOLD COUNTER

- ???? An mvp??

- “What’s squid game?” “It’s an undersea thing”

- Wait they’re talking about the voice and if it’s recognizable to any of them and Aster asking Gill if he knows any bastards that would do this and Gill giving a thought and saying Chip and Bizly just smiling, IS IT CHIP??

- “Actual psychopath interactions” yeah that sums up aster and gill

- OH?? People from their backstory’s in the audience!

- “How many chips in the audience? Just one” “ok didn’t know what type of hell this was”

- “Is Connor in the audience?” “No he’s dead, you can see his bofa shirt under the pile of rats staring at you” “I set the audience on fire”

- “…..the wet thorny people?? I’m still working on a team name” ok gill

- “We’re all banging and Aster” please??

- Oh these questions are starting out Rough

- Gillion just believing he’s in hell is actually so sad, he’s just Given up

- “Aster, do you wish you had more screen time?” “In this??” “In general” OH MY GOD????? BIZLY

- ASTER AND GILL TRYING TO PERSUADE BY ACTING CUTE PLEASE??

- I miss Aster :( she’s amazing Mythborne come back pleaseeee

- He’s just putting the roomba in the briefcase??? GILL PLEASE

- “‘I love big prizes’ and she slams big” ASTER, god they’re probably building a monster to fight and Aster is building a big fast dumb and ugly?? creature

- “Oh my god did we just create Jesus Christ??” VYNCENT PLEASE

- LETS GO ASTER!! THAT TRANSFORMATION IS SO COOL

- “Up next will be this creature” “oh no!” Charlie has such bad luck with this

- Aster is cracked she’s so cool

- :((((((( I miss Gillion :((((

- Gill and Vyncent debating the trolly problem mid fight is So them I love it

- 16 out of 40??????? Vyncent oh no

- HOLD PERSON LETS GOOOOOO ASTER

- The flavor of all of their attacks is amazing

- The JRWI theme coming in for this team attack is PERFECT!!!!! I love this podcast so much :)

- The glitching…….bebo what’s that about

- :(( “see you in 5” they’re not seeing each other again but I love their friendship so much

- This goodbye is gonna make me cry??? I love it so much, it’s just so sweet, that trio is amazing and I love how immediately they were friends with each other

- “Thanks for playing” BIZLY IM GONNA CRY

- This was so sweet and amazing

- VYNCENT :(((((( AND TIDE IS HELPING WITH HIS HOMEWORK

- this was so so so sweet

- every pc in the campaigns is the epitome of “do you think we’re friends in every universe?” “I’d like to think so” because they are, they’re always going to be friends no matter what universe they’re in and who they are

- PLEASE MORE WHAT IFS WITH A MISMATCHED PARTY THIS WAS AMAZING!! :)!!!!