#charlie and dennis are murder buddies
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if anyone here is still reading and waiting for my charden serial killer au, I want to apologize to you for the lack of publications and say that I've not given up writing it. I've just been very ill for a month and still have to keep going to work, so I don't have enough energy and time to keep writing it rn. But I hope to go back to it when I feel better and I already have some ideas.
I'm sorry if someone has been reading it and waiting for so long 🥲 and charden hugs for you all ✨
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@ymadstuff keeps drawing illustrations to my au 🥹 thank you, my friend 💚
for this part
Eventually Charlie, tired of shaking and crying, just falls asleep in his arms, and Dennis sits there with him until morning, exhausted by his heavy thoughts. At times his hands automatically stroke the Charlie’s chest, pulling him closer. The filthy vent, the broken glass, and the jars with severed hands inside, standing here and there, aren’t obviously the best place to sleep, but he can’t leave Charlie alone. So Dennis sighs heavily and closes his eyes too.
@psychocharlie
Here's the original template I used.
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CPD - Some Random Thoughts
I don’t usually write much on here anymore (I used to write a lot back in what now feels like a different life sometimes, LOL) but I felt like putting some words down tonight about my current favorite show, Chicago PD, and the ongoing speculations about the S9 finale. These are all just my random thoughts so do with them what you will and don’t feel obligated to respond, good or bad, since this post is clearly just my opinion and just because I need to get it all out so I can sleep tonight, LOL =)
OK, so the finale speculation got me thinking about all the past CPD finales and since I’ve seen all the episodes from S1 through S8 approximately 147 times thanks to working from home the past two years, I remember these episodes pretty well. If you break them all down, there’s not really one common denominator in any of them except that they rarely repeat anything and they all have some form of intensity. Here is a list of the CPD season finales and the main events that happened in all of them...
S1 - Antonio’s family moves out of their house, Erin comforts her friend Annie after that Charlie guy from their past ends up in prison, Kim and Adam hook up for the first time S2 - Al gets called by that random woman from a past undercover assignment and finds out he has another child, Kevin gets back into Intelligence after being demoted for a couple eps, Adam proposes to Kim, Erin quits her job because of her grief over Nadia’s death S3 - Voight kills the guy who murdered his son Justin, Erin tries to stop him but is unable to and leaves the scene, the team realizes that Voight led them to the wrong spot during their case and don’t realize what actually happened until later, Roman leaves Chicago to move to San Diego with one of his buddies S4 - Erin leaves Chicago to take a job with the FBI leaving everyone behind and only saying goodbye to Voight, Jay stands outside Molly’s trying to call Erin and doesn’t get through, Hailey is hanging out with the team at Molly’s for the first time and we hear that Kim is going to join the team there (she had been helping her sister recover from that rape and was on furlough from work) S5 - The team bands together to find out who killed Al in prison, Antonio hears the scuffle on the roof where Voight shoots the culprit but doesn’t see it which causes friction with Adam, Voight finally takes down Denny Woods after he pretty much tortured the team for the entire season, Voight loses it over Al’s death on the roof of a building S6 - Kelton wins the mayoral election which means Intelligence could be disbanded anytime, Antonio picks up his drug habit again, Jay and Hailey have their emotional chat in the break room, Adam is arrested for obstruction of justice for when he covered for Antonio earlier in the season, Kelton is murdered at his house while Voight is seen driving away in his SUV S7 - Kevin gets into a bad situation with a racist cop and his cronies and they band together against him, Hailey is still in NYC for the FBI task force and we get the cute Upstead phone scene from the beginning of the ep (this finale is the only one that for sure wasn’t planned since Covid shut down all the TV shows before they could film their actual season finales that season) S8 - Kim is fighting for her life after being kidnapped and shot, Adam and Kevin have their all out fight at the district, Voight breaks up the team and sends Jay and Kevin on one mission while he, Hailey, and Adam do knock and talks, Adam goes to be with MaKayla while they search for Kim, Hailey finds Voight torturing Roy and ends up shooting him to ‘save’ Voight, Hailey proposes to Jay at home
Dang, that’s a lot to process but I think I remembered all the main things that happened in all of the season finales, so here is what I’ve learned from what happened in those episodes and thinking about this show’s history.
1. They don’t usually leave character’s lives in jeopardy in the season finale (now in the mid-season finales....that’s a whole other story, LOL). Kim in S8 is literally the ONLY time they’ve done that in the almost nine years that this show has been on the air. Since they’ve already done that once, and it was very recent, I am pretty confident that no one’s life will be on the line in this year’s finale since they’ve already done it and they don’t repeat stuff according to their own history. Someone might get hurt somehow while they work a case but honestly, I still don’t think anyone is going to be seriously hurt in the finale this year. Just a hunch...
2. They’re not always totally bat$hit crazy. We know last year’s finale was pretty intense and insanely stressful but they haven’t all been like that over the years so should we expect some sort of insanity for this year’s finale? Maybe not the same type of intensity as last year’s but they do always have a big case come to a head so I think it’s safe to say that the Escano/Anna/Voight story is gonna be front and center in this year’s finale (Gwen also kind of confirmed this already so I feel pretty safe with this prediction) and that will probably affect the entire team somehow. My hunch still tells me that those three will be the main people affected and the team will be reacting to whatever happens in the case.
3. We could be in for a more emotional wallop than a physical one. Since they did all the stressful and life threatening stuff in last season’s finale, it’s been a while since they just did one of their more emotionally draining episodes for the finale. The Escano/Anna/Voight story could bring up a lot of emotional stuff for the rest of the characters and their reactions to all of that might be our actual finale rather than something physically hurting anyone. I can see a confrontation between Voight and Jay being part of the big cliffhanger this year, or maybe Kevin and Adam (they really haven’t resolved their conflict from last season...), the Roy thing could come up again somehow and maybe the rest of the team finding that secret out is the big cliffhanger....there’s a LOT of emotional stuff they could do this season and any of it would be a great way to end the season.
OK, so the main point of me writing this entire post is just to point out that CPD finales aren’t usually insanely crazy (man, some of y’alls theories make my head hurt, LOL) and maybe we don’t need to be all worried and panicky yet. On one hand, speculating can be really fun and a good way to pass the time, but on the other hand, I feel like getting yourself too emotionally agitated about the finale is just gonna drain you before we even get to the end of the season. Honestly, we don’t know enough to really worry about much for this finale yet and I would hate to see people go crazy worrying, especially right now when we know next to nothing! My best advice is to just sit back and enjoy the ride....especially to my fellow Upstead fans! As much as I would love to see some good Upstead scenes at their home during this back half of the season (which you have to admit has been pretty solid overall), I’m gonna live in their wedded bliss moment for as long as possible because we’ve been allowed to live in a bubble where Hailey and Jay are working together solidly just like they’ve always done while being happily married in the background which is WAY better than the alternative of them being involved in any sort of marriage drama/angst. I like this little bubble and I really hope I get to live in it all summer! Wouldn’t that be nice?! =)
BTW - I’m pretty sure Tracy’s comment about Upstead having some sort of ‘conflict’ is being taken WAY too literally. There was NO way she could have known anything about the finale at the point that she made that comment so there’s a very large chance that she was told one thing at the time (maybe to give the interviewers something to talk about...) but the writers changed their minds and that part didn’t go into any of the scripts. That being said, I’ve pretty much let that go at this point which seems like a much healthier decision after seeing so much stuff about it and how much it’s driving some folks crazy...breathe y’all, LOL =)
FYI - If you ever want to chat with me during the live eps on Wednesday nights, I post way more often on Twitter so you can find me over there (kwanfan1212). Also, no offense was intended with anything I’ve written in this post, this is simply a blog to share some of my random thoughts, so please don’t take anything personally. I love reading some of the stuff on here but it’s been a bit overwhelming and a lot to digest lately (hence this entire post, LOL). =)
Happy watching everyone! =)
*GIF and photo above are not mine.
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Concept for a MacDennis kiss scenario - it happens during a game of Chardee Macdennis and kissing another player for a set amount of time is the task Dennis gets, who reasons that Dee’s his sister, Frank raised him (and is gross anyway) and God knows what Charlie’s been eating. So a Macdennis kiss ensues. And involves everyone else exchanging glances when both of them get utterly lost in it and barely hear Dee like “Helloooo? Guys? Time’s up, let’s get on with the ga- CAN THEY HEAR ME?”
AKFDFKDLSG ANON. DUDE. GURL. BRO. MY GUY. BUDDY. YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND. THIS is one of my FAVORITE TROPES. Your Mind wow. TY for ur service.
You know I had to do it [write a minific] to ‘em
Predictably, the Golden Geese are on Level 2: Body, ahead of Mac, Charlie and Frank, who’ve teamed up again because Frank hated playing by himself plus it helps them keep an eye on him after the last time they played and he basically tried to kill everyone...
Anyway so it’s Dennis’s turn to draw a card. It’s a Physical Challenge. Psh...Easy. He reads it aloud: “Pick a player to kiss from any team. Other players will decide for how long--10 seconds minimum. MUST USE TONGUE.”
Dee giggles next to him--they’re winning, but she’s pretty wine drunk regardless.
“That’s ridiculous. I’m not doing that.”
Oh but if he refuses, Mac, Charlie, and Frank get the card and automatically advance to the next round. So it’s not really an option, Dee reminds him.
He has 30 seconds to make a choice. Who’s it going to be?
Well, not Dee. Obviously.
Frank’s also a big No. Even though they’re not technically related, Dennis spent half his life thinking they were. Also, Frank’s just...gross.
So that leaves Charlie and Mac.
He’s already kissed Charlie and if he’s being honest it’s not something he’s keen on doing again. It took Dennis hours to get the taste of cheese out of his mouth and who know’s what Charlie’s been eating today? (He thinks he saw an egg shell in the garbage before. It was not from a chicken’s egg...)
So really, that just leaves Mac as the only viable, not gross option.
Mac must realize it too. He hasn’t looked at Dennis since he read the card.
“Ten seconds!” Dee squawks in his ear. “C’mon dum-dum--do you want to lose?!”
And no, he doesn’t want to give up their 18+ game winning streak but...
“Five!”
He doesn’t have a choice. Mac would probably do the same thing...
“Three...two...”
“Alright fine-Mac! I pick Mac.”
A rare silence falls over Paddy’s as Dennis slides off his stool and walks to the neutral space between the two teams. He glares expectantly at Mac until he does the same. He still refuses to make eye contact.
“’Kay bozos,” Dee swivels around to face them and checks her watch. “You have to kiss for 30 seconds starting--”
“Too long,” Dennis cuts her off.
“Okay twenty--”
“Nope.”
“Jesus okay--FIFTEEN seconds.” She waits for Dennis to object but he finally concedes with a grumbly “Fine.”
Frank and Charlie also agree to the terms. Mac finally nods too after Charlie swats him in the arm.
Dee’s being way too smug. She’s not even trying to hide the fact that she’s enjoying this. “Alright on the count of three, you two ding-a-lings need to makeout for 15 seconds. And we’d better see some tongue action otherwise it doesn’t count.”
If she wasn’t on his team, Dennis would murder her right then and there. He still might.
“One...”
Dennis takes a step forward into the remaining space between him and Mac.
“Two...”
He swallows the lump in his throat and Mac finally looks up at him. Dennis can see his ears turning red.
“Three!”
Dennis grabs Mac’s face and yanks him forward, smashing their mouths together. Mac nearly loses his balance, arms flailing out to the side before his hands come to rest on Dennis’s hips.
Mac’s sharp intake of breath affords Dennis the opportunity to shove his tongue past Mac’s lips. It’s sloppy and kind of gross, not gentle or sexy by any means but Mac let’s him do it. In fact, it seems to spur him on, and he’s actually kissing him back.
Mac tastes sweet and fruity, like the Riesling he’s been knocking back all of Level One. It’s...well it’s kind of super intoxicating and Dennis thinks he could get addicted to the way Mac’s scruff feels scraping against his skin. He moves a hand to grip the back of Mac’s neck and pulls him closer, needing to feel as much of him as he possibly can.
He’s not sure how much time has passed at this point. Dennis didn’t even hear Dee start counting. As soon has his lips touched Mac’s, it was like he ceased to exist within time and space as we know it.
Suddenly something cold and wet sends him crashing back to reality. Dennis yelps and leaps away from Mac. And...great. He’s soaked and reeks of beer. Who the fuck--
“What the hell Deandra?!”
“Are you kidding me?” She shrieks back. “You guys were going at it for like, two full minutes.”
“That’s cheating! Cheater!” Mac butts in. “You’re not allowed to interfere in another player’s Physical Challenge!”
Dee looks between the two of them, absolutely dumbfounded. “You--are you--the challenge was over. You guys just kept going at it?!”
Dennis is so completely over this. He doesn’t have to explain himself to these idiots. He grabs Mac’s wrist and starts stalking towards the door.
“Wait--where are you going?” Charlie calls after them. “We need to finish the game!”
“Game’s over, morons.”
“Dennis--are you serious? Dennis get back here!” Dee continues to screech, even though they’re already gone. “You can’t just leave in the middle of--oh GOD. DAMMIT.”
#sunny asks#macdennis#mini fic#this...literally took all day to write#i just...i needed to i love this concept so much#and i needed something to distract from all the fuckery going on today#i wanted to post this earlier but i kept having to stop working on it#anyway here it is#they're gonna go bang 👀
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10 Best Fighting Game Movies
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Once upon a time, Bruce Lee, Jim Kelly, and John Saxon visited a crime boss’ private island to compete in a fighting tournament and it was awesome. The 1973 movie Enter the Dragon is basically the prototype for the fighting games like Mortal Kombat and Street Fighter. And when those fighting games became popular, they inspired their own movies that either tried to emulate Enter the Dragon or do something completely new.
The ‘90s gave us the cheesy live-action fighting game movies from Hollywood and the animated movies from Japan. There have been several live-action Mortal Kombat movies as well as a few animated ones. There have also been multiple Street Fighter movies, four attempts at Tekken, a trilogy of Fatal Fury films, and more.
Are most of them bad? Yes. But did we pick our 10 favorite fighting game movies anyway? You bet. Here are our picks:
10. ART OF FIGHTING (1993)
Eh…it’s harmless.
The Art of Fighting series is mostly defined by the twist that the first game’s final boss is the main character’s father and the second game’s final boss is a younger incarnation of the villain from Fatal Fury. Take away those aspects and you’re left with a rather lowkey storyline for a fighting game where a teenage girl is kidnapped by a mobster and is rescued by her brother and her boyfriend.
Wait, I said that weird. It’s two different people, I swear! Except in Capcom, where Dan Hibiki is literally both of them merged into one character.
In the 45-minute Art of Fighting movie about Ryo and Robert, who are like chiller and dopier versions of Ryu and Ken, we watch as the duo gets sucked into a plot about stolen diamonds, martial arts criminals, and angry police lieutenants. It doesn’t take itself seriously and it’s a fine, breezy watch.
Ryo’s incorrect hair color kind of irks me, though.
9. STREET FIGHTER ALPHA: THE ANIMATION (1999)
This movie suffers from the same problem as Fatal Fury: The Motion Picture. It features a cast of heroes from a fighting game taking on a villain created for the movie instead of the villains we actually give a shit about. But the movie does also have some brief but awesome cameos (Kim Kaphwan and Geese Howard from Fatal Fury and Dan Hibiki and Akuma from Street Fighter Alpha) to brighten up a less-than-stellar plot.
Street Fighter Alpha: The Animation does at least get by because the original characters play up Ryu’s whole fear about being overcome by “the Dark Hadou.” This leads to some cool animations where Evil Ryu looks like a mindless, shambling zombie but also an unstoppable fighting machine.
The movie’s main storyline is about a kid named Shun who claims that he’s Ryu’s long-lost brother. He too is a fighter cursed with an inner dark side, which is used as a red herring to suggest that Shun’s father (and presumably Ryu’s father) is actually Akuma. That ends up being bupkis and Shun is just linked to some scheme by a mad scientist or whatever.
Probably the funniest thing about this movie is the directors’ infatuation with Chun-Li’s midsection. She’s wearing her form-fitting Street Fighter Alpha costume and there are dozens upon dozens of random close-ups to her lower torso from the front and back. If this were a drinking game, it would kill you.
8. FATAL FURY 2: THE NEW BATTLE (1993)
Of the Fatal Fury movie trilogy, this one is easily the best, even if it makes all the good guys seem like a bunch of overly-serious crybabies. The basic story is that after having avenged his father���s death, Terry hits rock bottom, dusts himself off, and comes out the other end stronger. Good, good. Going Rocky III is the perfect direction for a follow-up.
The problem is that Terry comes off as a bit of a whiner and the other heroes try way too hard to vilify the movie’s main antagonist, who hasn’t actually done anything that terrible. Krauser shows up one day, challenges Terry to a fight, wins, and says, “Okay, when you get better, train and fight me again.” Krauser isn’t trying to take over the world or murder orphans or whatever. He’s just a dude with huge shoulder armor who wants a good fight.
But everyone acts like Krauser’s the absolute worst. Terry starts drinking and falls to pieces while his buddies hope to get revenge. What a bunch of jerks.
While a fun romp, the worst thing about this sequel is how they redesigned Krauser. Gone is his mustache and forehead scar for the sake of making him seem younger. Kind of a bullshit move, considering he’s supposed to be the half-brother to middle-aged Geese Howard.
7. TEKKEN: THE MOTION PICTURE (1998)
This hour-long anime is almost great but just can’t stick the landing. It runs into the same problem as Mortal Kombat: Annihilation where the game series tells a specific overall story but the movie cuts corners to tell the same story. Tekken: The Motion Picture covers the first Tekken while setting up Tekken 3 and skipping Tekken 2 completely.
It means that everything’s well and good until the confusing and rushed finale. Otherwise, the movie is a fine use of the Enter the Dragon formula. Heihachi Mishima has a special island fighting tournament and the entrants include his vengeful son, a couple of cops investigating the situation, a gigantic robot, an angry Native American girl, two feuding assassin sisters, and a bunch of awesome characters who only get about three full frames of appearances each. Really would have liked to see something from Paul, King, and Yoshimitsu, though.
Other than Kazuya being pissed at everything, the best scenes are the over-the-top ones. When Jack does crazy robot stuff, when dinosaurs show up and start eating people, and that memorable sequence where Heihachi catches a hatchet with his mouth and then shatters it with his jaw.
6. STREET FIGHTER (1994)
I know this movie is just a GI Joe script with Street Fighter names pasted over it. I know it’s a cheesefest of dopey ideas and Belgian accents. I’ve long accepted that. Thing is, the movie is still a total blast to watch. What it lacks in faithfulness to the source material, it makes up for with pure camp and ham.
The 16 characters from Super Street Fighter II are represented here, except Fei Long is replaced with the forgettable Captain Sawada. How ironic that the movie star character isn’t even in the movie!
In general, the movie features some head-scratching depictions of classic Street Fighter characters. All-American Guile is played by Jean Claude Van Damme, Charlie Nash and Blanka are the same character, Dee Jay is an evil hacker, Ryu and Ken are comedic conmen, and Dhalsim is a frumpy scientist.
It’s Raul Julia’s M. Bison who keeps this guilty pleasure afloat. He’s to Street Fighter what Frank Langella’s Skeletor was to Masters of the Universe. He gives 110% and his performance is easily the best reason to watch this movie. It’s truly a wonder to behold.
Read more
Games
The Forgotten Fighting Games of the 1990s
By Gavin Jasper
Games
King of Fighters: Ranking All the Characters
By Gavin Jasper
The movie is infamous for inspiring a fighting game based on it, but you know what nobody ever talks about? The Double Dragon movie also had a fighting game based on it made by Technos and released on the Neo Geo. And Double Dragon wasn’t even a one-on-one fighter to begin with!
Anyway, if you intend to sit back and watch Street Fighter, make sure to add in the RiffTrax commentary.
5. DOA: DEAD OR ALIVE (2006)
Enter the Dragon meets Charlie’s Angels is a heck of a concept, but DOA: Dead or Alive is so confidently tongue-in-cheek that it succeeds as an action comedy that’s way better than it has any right to be. Part of why it works is that Dead or Alive has never had much of an overarching storyline, but is more defined by the individual characters (plus, you know, all the cheesecake). Enough of those characters appear in what’s your regular “fighting tournament on a mysterious island” setup.
The whole thing moves with such energy that it’s easy to get sucked in. It’s the opposite of the live-action Tekken movie, where even though the film features accurate versions of all the characters, everything is so drab and lifeless that you just can’t wait for it to be over. In DOA, the combatants spend their downtime playing cartoony action volleyball with Fake Dennis Rodman on commentary, while in Tekken everyone mopes about dystopian capitalism.
Other than Helena’s character being “important dead guy’s daughter,” most of the main characters are charismatic enough to keep your attention during the 3% of the movie when fights aren’t happening. It must suck for Ninja Gaiden fans that Hayabusa is depicted as a total dweeb, but he at least gets to do some cool stuff here and there.
The movie also has Kevin Nash playing a character based on Hollywood Hogan and he’s so likeable that I’m genuinely bummed that he peaces out about halfway into the movie. Luckily, the movie is entertaining enough that I didn’t even notice until after it was over. It helps that during that time, we get more of Eric Roberts, his amazing hair, and his special sunglasses that turn him into the ultimate martial arts master.
Spoiler alert, but the secret to defeating him is, get this, removing his sunglasses!
4. MORTAL KOMBAT LEGENDS: SCORPION’S REVENGE (2020)
It took a while, but Warner Bros. Animation is on fire these days. After that Batman vs. TMNT movie and Teen Titans Go vs. Teen Titans, the studio appears to be hitting more than they miss. That’s exactly the kind of team needed to put together the latest animated Mortal Kombat movie.
This is the umpteenth retelling of the first game’s story. Not only does it have to compete with the first live-action movie, but also the events of Mortal Kombat 9, which depicts the tournament in cutscene format. Fortunately, Scorpion’s Revenge has a few tricks up its sleeve. First, it puts Scorpion in the forefront as the protagonist. He was barely a character in the original movie and the game just had him kill Sub-Zero and feel bad about it for the rest of the story mode. Now he feels like a character in a crossover, making a mark on the original story instead of being put in the sidelines.
We also have the wonderful stunt casting of Joel McHale as Johnny Cage. More importantly, Jennifer Carpenter plays Sonya Blade, which is such a step up from Ronda Rousey’s voice acting in Mortal Kombat 11.
This cartoon has a very hard R when it comes to violence. From the very beginning, Scorpion’s origins are gruesome and grisly. Once Jax is introduced, it doesn’t take long until we realize, “Oh, that’s how they’re dealing with THAT plot point in this continuity.” Then there’s a surprise villain death late in the movie that not only comes as a shocking development, but it’s so graphic and nasty that you can’t help but be taken aback.
Scorpion’s Revenge is a fantastic first chapter of what is hopefully a series of animated movies, but it does have its pacing issues. Scorpion being the protagonist may be a welcome change, but at times it does feel like a square peg being crammed into a round hole.
3. TEKKEN: BLOOD VENGEANCE (2011)
One of the best things about the Tekken series is the endings. While the cutscenes from the first couple games haven’t exactly aged well, these CGI epilogues have become a staple in nearly every installment. What better reward for your time and success than watching a rocking action sequence with Yoshimitsu and Bryan Fury killing each other in the jungle?
And so, to play to the series’ strengths, Bandai Entertainment released a Tekken movie that’s really just one big ending cutscene. It’s not canon, but it feels at home with the games.
Since Tekken’s main conflict is with two ruthless megalomaniacs (Heihachi and Kazuya) and a disgruntled nihilist (Jin), it’s hard to treat any of them as a real protagonist here. Instead, they go with Ling Xiaoyu, who is portrayed as the person who sees the good in Jin and wants him to see the light. She’s given a robotic BFF in Alisa Bosconovitch because Xiaoyu is kind of a tame character and needs someone with chainsaw arms and a jetpack to liven things up.
The first hour or so is good enough to keep your attention and its lightened up by a couple appearances by Tekken’s best character, Lee. But once it gets to the third act, it just becomes a completely awesome Heihachi vs. Kazuya vs. Jin fight, with Xiaoyu taking a backseat to watch all the crazy shit going on. It’s a full-on fireworks factory, as we not only see Devil forms of Kazuya and Jin but a very special final form for Heihachi that’s a true delight for Tekken fans.
2. STREET FIGHTER II: THE ANIMATED MOVIE (1994)
Let it be said that for someone who grew up in the ‘80s and ‘90s, finding a faithful cartoon adaptation of a video game property was not easy. Link and Simon Belmont were unlikable sexual harassers. Mega Man was a more annoying sidekick than Scrappy Doo. Mario and Luigi teamed up with Milli Vanilli. Power Team was…a thing. When we got an animated movie based on Street Fighter II, it was mind-blowing. This was a movie where the very first scene was Ryu tearing Sagat’s chest into a bloody gash thanks to a well-animated Shoryuken.
There’s a lot going on in this movie, but at the same time, nothing is going on. By this point, there were 17 characters in the various Street Fighter II games, and outside of a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it Akuma cameo, it feels the need to include every single one of them. Some get minor roles, like Cammy and Dee Jay. Then there’s Zangief and Blanka, who fight each other for no reason other than for the sake of giving them something to do. Even Ryu vanishes for a huge chunk of the runtime.
Once everything funnels into the third act, this movie is great. And the earlier fight scenes are straight fire too, including the memorable Chun-Li vs. Vega brawl. Even though the movie already feels true to Street Fighter II, it’s even better when you realize that it’s all supposed to be a prequel to the game itself.
Or at least I hope so. Otherwise, all Sagat gets to do is get his ass kicked by Ryu and get chewed out by Bison.
1. MORTAL KOMBAT (1995)
The stars truly aligned for this one. Mortal Kombat Mania was at its peak, so it makes sense that this movie was a retelling of the first game’s story with added aspects from the second game, all while hyping up the arcade release of the third game. CGI was such a novelty in Hollywood in the ’90s that even if it looked primitive, it still looked cutting edge at the time. It was the perfect time to release this movie.
But Mortal Kombat isn’t perfect. Reptile is embarrassing. Scorpion and Sub-Zero being relegated to goons still stings. I still roll my eyes at the part towards the end where Sonya is suddenly the damsel in distress and Raiden flat-out verbally buries her by saying she couldn’t beat Shang Tsung in a million years. Otherwise, it’s the perfect storm of ‘90s action garbage.
There are so many over-the-top and charismatic performances here. Johnny Cage, Raiden, Shang Tsung, Kano, and even Goro are a blast to watch. All 10 characters from the original game are given something to do and, most importantly, they realize how uniquely weird the game’s story is and actually dive headfirst into it. The movie isn’t embarrassed to be a Mortal Kombat movie but handles itself well enough that we aren’t embarrassed to be watching a Mortal Kombat movie.
Even with a PG-13 rating, the movie was violent enough. Kano talked up seeing a pile of frozen guts in the wake of a Sub-Zero fight, Scorpion got his skull sliced apart with demon brain goo spewing all over the place, and Shang Tsung got impaled to death.
With the reboot being rated R, going for the gore could very well be the right route to go, but for the love of the Elder Gods, don’t forget to have FUN. All I’m saying is, if even Johnny Cage isn’t hamming it up, then what’s the point?
The post 10 Best Fighting Game Movies appeared first on Den of Geek.
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dennis buys a boat.
PHILADELPHIA, PA 5:00 ON A FRIDAY
"Look, Mac, I don't- I can't even comprehend what you're saying right now. How can you possibly not be excited about this? Are- Are you even human?"
"It's not that it's not cool, dude! I just- When you called me down here and said you were gonna blow my mind, I- How did this even happen?"
"It happened because I'm a genius, goddamn it, now are you going to get in or should I call Charlie instead?"
"No, I'm sorry, man! Look, don't call Charlie, I'll get in the boat."
Dennis is a visionary and Mac is a fool. Dennis is the king of the Delaware and Mac is a Hessian cretin. Dennis is... he's fucking Poseidon and Mac is but a lowly fish.
Mac could have come down here to the marina, chanted about how 'awesome' this was (he calls everything awesome!), and been goddamn Nerites. Not that he would have allowed him to take the reigns of this supercharged chariot, but still! Alas, he doesn't get the boat, not like Dennis does, so now he's just a fish.
Still, though, it feels good.
Dennis is stood aboard a 2007 Sea-Doo Challenger, of which he is now the proud owner, perched with his hands on his hips like a navy-clad demigod. The warm sun is shining down on his back, the speakers are blaring Steve Winwood's The Finer Things, and Dennis Reynolds is on top of the world, baby!
"So like," Mac says tentatively as he steps in, "where did you even get this? Last night you told me we couldn't afford two orders of fried rice."
A self-satisfied smirk twists Dennis' mouth.
"How does anyone get anything, Mac?" he responds, dipping his sunglasses down to flash his eyes. "The world's not about money. It's about charm."
"That makes absolutely no sense, dude."
He's not certain why he expected someone like Mac to understand. He hadn't exactly grown up with the same... entitlements as Dennis had. His idea of recreation as a child was poking dead things with a stick and throwing rocks. As a matter of fact, he had probably thrown rocks at boats! The savage.
But Charlie would have gotten sewage and toothpaste and cheese and other mystery stains all over the vinyl, and Dee would have ripped a hole in the seat with her goddamn jagged bird arms.
Mac was the obvious choice. He was usually such a fantastic hype-man, and Dennis would be lying if he said he wasn't disappointed at the lack of enthusiasm here.
"That's because you don't have any charm, Mac," he retorts as he sidles into the captain's chair, curving his fingers around the steering wheel. "You tumble into rooms and knock things over and spit when you yell like the damned Tasmanian Devil."
"Be that as in May," -that's not the phrase, but Dennis doesn't interject- "I get stuff through the power of intimidation."
Mac plops himself down, rather gracelessly, in the passenger seat.
"When has that ever happened? And don't say the time you 'intimidated' that man at the mall into giving you a free massage, because I hate to break it to ya', but that's not what that was, buddy."
He pouts so overdramatically that his frown reaches his chin.
"Hey. I'm tough, Dennis," he persists, and per usual, appears to genuinely believe it. "But don't worry, that doesn't overshadow your charm thing!" Mac's smile perks back up and he reaches out to brush his knuckles against Dennis' shirt. "Like, you look way better in sweaters than I do, man."
It's not so much a sweater as it is a nautical polyester zip-up pullover, but hey, he does look good in it- so he'll let that slide.
"Okay, okay, just... shut up and hold onto something, all right?" Dennis rolls his eyes, but there's an excited sneer forming on the edges of his lips.
He screws the safety key around his wrist onto the slot until it clicks into place. Mac would say something along the lines of 'safety is for bozos' before surely setting himself on fire or plummeting off of a rooftop, but Dennis will not be murdered by his own boat like some sort of seafaring Cronus.
He gives a quick wink to- well, not so much Mac, more to the boat- before adjusting the trim and wrapping a hand around the throttle.
"Prepare to have your mind blown."
Before Mac can ruin the moment, Dennis sends the throttle forward. The dock is relatively clear, so he's out on the water doing 45 in no time. He leans back in his seat to catch a glimpse of his reflection in the rearview mirror (shame it's so small) just as the song tells him about the golden things life could be, and yeah, he looks pretty damn cool. Obviously, Mac must think so, too. Not that he cares.
He darts his eyes over to see if Mac is looking at him.
And oh man, is Mac looking at him.
But not like he's admiring how 'awesome' he is or thinking about how he wishes he could be so goddamn glorious- not like that at all. It's like he's just happy to be out here with him for no other reason than to be here. He's got this stupid little grin on his face... The nerve!
Dennis focuses his gaze back on the river.
Well, if anyone with half a brain is watching him, they will certainly admire how cool he is.
After a half-hour or so of going near-60 (perhaps to show off, perhaps not...), Dennis kicks it back down for a while, and they coast along the river maintaining a comfortable speed over which they can actually hear each other speak. Dennis can hear the music again, too, Wouldn't It Be Nice bamp-bamp-bamping through its last chorus.
Part of him regrets it, because Mac immediately shifts in his seat and starts babbling, like he's just been wriggling anxiously, waiting for an opportunity to speak. He gets that way, after they haven't talked in a while- a day, an hour, fifteen minutes- like he has to tell Dennis every single thought that's gone through his head in the meantime.
"Hey, what do you think fish think about?" he asks.
Dennis' eyebrows tense. He rolls his teeth over his lip. "What?"
Mac seems offended, as if the question were self-explanatory. "You know, fish," he reiterates.
"That isn't the part I was confused about."
That answer doesn't satisfy him, and Dennis can feel his stare burning a hole into the side of his head without even having to look. He's like a child.
Rick Astley is pumping through the speakers now, and Mac is totally ruining it.
"I don't know, Mac, what do you think about all day?" he deadpans.
The connection to Mac having the brain of a common herring flies right up the windshield and over his head. "Oh, uh-" he starts excitedly, "like, the bar, ideas for stunts, who would win in a fight between Dutch Schaefer and John McClane, you, french fries, whether or not I could put a bear in a headlock, which I think I could if I got a running start-"
"You've made your point!" Dennis has to stop him, because he already knows all of this, and Dutch would obviously win because John is more stealth than muscle and Dutch clearly has experience with stealth. "I don't think fish think about fast food, which they have no access to, or whether or not you could fight a bear, because they don't know you and you cannot, or..."
Or me, Dennis just now registers. Did he really say that?
He shakes his head and dismisses it.
"I think they think about absolutely nothing! Some part of their tiny, gelatinous brain reminds them to move and to swallow smaller fish, but I can tell you with great confidence that there is nothing else. There is not some- some tangled, Desperate Housewives-esque drama playing itself out down there, damn it!"
Mac whistles through his teeth. "But, like... can you prove that? Can we be sure? Because science has only come so far-"
"Oh, I will not have this debate with you again!" Dennis inches his speed up just a bit in an effort to drown Mac out. "Are you determined to ruin fish for yourself by... by subscribing to the notion that they are capable of complex thought? You know how much fish we eat, Mac!"
"That's why I'm asking, dude!"
Dennis nudges the throttle up further, keeping his eyes trained on the water passing underneath them like sheets of polished glass.
"If they've got stuff going on up here," -he imagines Mac is pointing to his head, where quite clearly nothing is going on- "then maybe we should switch to duck or something, man!"
"Why- You- You think a duck thinks less than a fish?!" Dennis sputters.
He's almost up to 60 now.
"I'm not saying that for sure!" Mac transitions into shouting over the engine, the goddamn lunatic. "I'm just saying, flying back and forth every year seems like a waste of time!"
"Are you criticizing the migration of waterfowl?!"
"Well, why don't they just stay in the city, Dennis?! There's always food there!"
There's a rattling sound now, and Dennis assumes at first that it's a migraine forming from his teeth scraping together, but it's so loud and-
Ah, shit, it's the boat.
The needle on the speedometer starts creeping down despite the throttle being all the way up. Dennis adjusts it, as well as the trim, but the grinding only seems to intensify and the boat only gets slower. He checks to make sure the safety lanyard is still connected- which it is- and everything on the dash seems normal...
He can hear the music clearly once more. God, I wish I was sailing again, Jimmy Buffett mocks him.
"Uh, how much smoke is too much smoke for a boat?" Mac asks hesitantly. For once, it's actually a relevant question, and not some sort of riddle or existential crisis.
Dennis turns to look over his shoulder as the gauge creeps towards 20 and, yep, delightful, that's smoke.
"Did you suck something up?" he inquires rather stupidly.
"Yes, I absolutely did, and I did it on purpose," Dennis spits as he unhooks the lanyard and pulls the levers back down, "and you know what? I hope it was a fish, Mac, I hope it was the biggest, smartest fish in this entire goddamn river," -he hops up and paces towards the back, his heavy footsteps echoing off the sides of the boat- "with hopes and dreams and aspirations, a thousand times more superior than any duck! And I've just crushed it with the impeller like meat in a blender!"
"Why would you put meat in a...?"
Dennis rips the sunglasses from his face and tosses them to the floor. He doesn't know what else to take out his anger on.
"Is that the takeaway, Mac?!" he squawks, spinning back around to look at his idiotic fish face. This is why Poseidon is so engulfed with wrath all of the time! "Is that the one thing you choose to pick out of this entire situation?!"
Suddenly, Mac is on his feet and closing the distance between them. He has that pitying, holier-than-thou expression on his face, and for a moment, Dennis thinks he's going to pick a fight with him (and he would lose just like he'd lose to a bear!), until he feels steady hands clamp down on his shoulders.
"Den, listen to me," Mac says softly, lifting two fingers to point them back and forth between their eyes, "I'm with you. I'm on your side, man. Fish are stupid and they suck and we're gonna keep eating them, okay?" He lifts his palms to press them against Dennis' jaw. "But I need you to stay calm so we can figure this out."
Dennis should feel patronized and belittled, but he doesn't- he's simply stunned in place. His breathing is starting to steady, and he thinks he's nodding. Whatever Mac says or does next, he has a feeling he's going to believe him- even if he claims trout are capable of high-order thinking.
"Okay," is all he manages.
Mac parrots back, "Okay."
He gives Dennis a double-pat on the cheek before passing him to peer over the stern. There is utterly no chance he has any idea what he's looking at, but that doesn't stop him.
"Well, I don't see anything."
Ordinarily, Dennis would ask him what he expected to see- some sort of hook hand hanging off of the boat? Instead, he merely shrugs his shoulders.
He's oddly at peace with this. Jet-boating is kind of boring, anyways. It's nothing like a yacht, there are not nearly as many bachelorette parties waving to him as he'd envisioned, and there's next to nothing to see out here. There's a reason John McTiernan does not direct movies about flat water.
"I'm so sorry, Dennis," Mac apologizes, for some reason.
Now that they're floating sans engine, the smoke has died down, and there are no more ear-splitting scraping noises. Dennis would rather spend the night on this thing than hear that sound again- it's going to give him an even worse headache if he does.
"Just- open that up." Dennis gestures to one of the storage compartments.
Mac nods dutifully and does as requested, looking like he thinks it might lead to something he can repair. When it opens to a mound of ice and Coronas, he raises a surprised- but not displeased- eyebrow.
"Oh. All right."
Not two minutes later, they're sitting on the back row of the boat, beers in hand, having given up trying to remedy the situation. I'd Really Love To See You Tonight (absolute classic) is playing just as the sun is starting to set. They'll call for a tow once it gets dark- Dennis doesn't have the energy to think about it right now.
Mac's got his arm on the back of the seat, around Dennis, but not really touching him. There's much more space they could be utilizing, but this is fine. It makes it easier for Mac to open Dennis' beers for him, anyways.
"I think you should start paying for boats with money instead of charm, Den."
Dennis scoffs. He leans back onto Mac's arm as he takes another swig.
"I don't know..." he mutters, the ghost of a smile playing on his lips. You see, it really doesn't matter much to me, the speakers remind him. "This isn't so bad."
Mac chuckles through his nose. He doesn't object.
It's quiet for a while as Seals and Coley harmonize and Dennis polishes off the last of his drink. He discards the empty bottle, letting it roll until it meets up with his shattered sunglasses.
"You want me to get you another one?" Mac offers.
"No," he half-whispers and scoots a little closer- just to get comfortable. There's no sense in being uncomfortable.
Mac's hand rests on Dennis' shoulder, drawing him in gently.
"Okay," he whispers back.
He passes Dennis his own, half-empty beer. Without taking his eyes off of the sunset, Dennis takes a sip, then hands it back to Mac, who immediately does the same. They trade it back and forth a few times. Dennis hums I'm not talkin' 'bout moving in...
"Dennis?" Mac mumbles in his ear.
"... Yes?"
He could ask him anything in the world right now, and Dennis thinks he might give him a real, honest answer. He imagines the answer to a lot of those questions would be 'yes, I do, I'm just so scared to tell you'. He would really love to tell him tonight.
"How many pennies do think there are... in the river?"
Dennis takes another drink. He's too tired to argue. It's warm, the sky is amber-peach, the boat is rocking gently, Mac's arm is around him, there's a warm wind blowing, the stars are out, and I'd really love to see you tonight.
Dennis sighs.
"Just pennies," he replies, passing the beer back, "or are we talking all change?"
#the companion piece to mac buys a motorcycle!#it's finally done!!#unlike motorcycles i actually know how boats work but not newer ones so sorry if i got anything wrong#do y'all care if i mess up a description of a sea doo we're just here for the gay#it's always sunny in philadelphia#it's always sunny#iasip#dennis reynolds#mac mcdonald#macdennis#fics#my writing
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iasip s12 rated by macdennis content
The Gang Turns Black: Mac and Dennis spend the entire episode together, getting arrested and put in an interrogation room with each other, and get to sing a DUET together. Charlie even ditches them at some point to go get their VCR from Dee’s place and they don’t care one bit because all they need is each other. Also features a cute bit where Mac leans back into Dennis and sings “I think we’re in The Wiz...” it’s all a dream but if you watch the episode you’ll be glad it was a dream. 7/10
The Gang Goes to a Water Park: They don’t have a plot together in this, but in the cold open Dennis brags about how he can enjoy his time at the water park for free, and is very impressed (”Nice!!!!!!”) when Mac reveals he laminated his admission bracelet and hasn’t even paid to get IN the water park since he was 14... also Dennis bonds with a little girl the whole episode by passing on his swindling ways which proves that he could definitely raise kids with Mac one day, albeit ones just as horrible as the both of them combined. 5.5/10
Old Lady House A Situation Comedy: While Mac and Dennis do interact in this episode, it’s never a one-on-one situation. Dennis does spend the whole episode trying to help Mac (and Charlie) with their moms supposedly being at loggerheads though (and makes a fake tv show out of it, in which he edits in some laughs for Mac when he says some classic, funny catchphrases), and is “outsmarted” by Mac when Dennis claims that he wants to cut Mrs Mac out of the show, and that there’s nothing Mac can do about it because Dennis is, as he so claims, a genius. Dennis then proceeds to eat his words when Mac places his mom in every shot, maneuvering her around so that her face can be seen in all the cameras. Oh, and also, Mac touches Dennis on the shoulder at one point, which is pretty sweet. 4/10
Wolf Cola A Public Relations Nightmare: This episode had its moments, but not macdennis moments. Boo. At no point were they sitting next to each other, which is a huge bummer. That being said, Mac does say the words “Now I’ve always been very passionate about dominating other men. There’s nothing like the feeling of another man submitting to your will. Now that’s power. In a lot of ways, that’s love.” Make of that what you will. 1/10
Making Dennis Reynolds a Murderer: There was a surprising amount of macdennis stuff going on in this episode, considering how it was a crime documentary accusing Dennis of murder. The first picture shown of Dennis in the episode is a picture of him and Mac, which Mac probably submitted because he looks happy in the picture whereas Dennis is a mixture of unprepared and irked—based on the picture it’s also fair to assume Mac put his arm around Dennis when he took the photo. Cute shit. Dennis also recounts how an average Friday night for him is spent watching a movie with Mac. In a later interview, Mac is introduced as Dennis’s best friend, and we proceed to find out that when they watch movies (or just Operation Dumbo Drop, at the very least) Mac likes to turn the volume down so that he and Dennis can make wiseacre remarks. They get into a squabble on camera about whether Mac stole this concept from Mystery Science Theatre 3000 or not, and about how funny Mac’s jokes are. Dennis gets annoyed and leaves, prompting Mac to whine “Wait, w-hold on, Dennis, D-don’t leave without me... Are you mad at me?” Cue sad music. Actual, sad instrumental music that the documentary plays. But sad music aside, it’s funny how Dennis complains about Mac and his supposedly unfunny played out unoriginal jokes yet still spends most average Friday nights at home watching movies with Mac. I see you Dennis, I fucking see you. 7.5/10
Hero or Hate Crime?: Mac comes out for real in this episode! Which is amazing in and of itself making this episode groundbreaking and perfect, but how does that play in terms of macdennis? Well, first off, through gay Mac macdennis is more possible, so jot that down. Second of all, Dennis looks INCREDIBLY offended when Mac tries to claim that he’s not gay, and then is the first one to start gently coaxing Mac to come out of the closet, by telling him they support him and that it’ll make him feel better. He’s also the first one to bring up Mac’s dildo bike, the renowned Ass Pounder 4000, and he also voluntarily brings it from the basement of Paddy’s all the way to where the arbitration is being held. Aside from all the touching of the dildo bike Dennis commits in transporting it, he also touches the bike a ton when Mac is explaining the “workout bike” to everyone. This includes leaning his hand, wrist, even his entire forearm on the bike handles, and wrapping his fingers around it, odd behavior for him to display seeing how Mac presumably fucks himself with the bike, and is reinforced as even weirder in a future episode where Frank and Charlie refuse to even so much as go near the bike. Dennis then proceeds to suggest that Mac penetrating his ass with a dildo bike is just a sexually devious thing to do, and has nothing to do with being gay (Dennis, what are you trying to tell us buddy? Just come on out and say it, we’re all in support). Yeah. Okay, and then when Mac comes out and leaves, and the gang decides to make Mac pay the arbitration fee, Dennis speaks up for Mac and convinces the gang to delay telling Mac where $9,986 of his lottery winnings are going, just so that he can have one triumphant, happy day of being out and gay. 6/10
PTSDee: “Is he blowing someone?” Right off the bat we have Dennis staring at Mac playing a game in Virtual Reality. Why do you care if Mac’s fake blowing someone, huh, Dennis? Anyway, Dennis decides to become a stripper in this episode, which clearly has an effect on Mac, who’s suffering from fake war flashbacks from the game he was playing with Frank. After a traumatic dream about his father, he dreams of himself waking up and immediately looking for Dennis so he can tell him (and possibly seek consolation from Dennis) about his awful dream, only to see a half-naked Dennis dancing. Upon seeing Mac, Dennis walks up to him and kisses him, prompting Mac to wake up for real, and walk out to see the same half-nude, red-capped Dennis from his dream, actually dancing half naked. Dennis spots Mac and starts amping it up—he pulls off a few different moves—including one where he dances all the way up to Mac, slamming his hands on either side of the doorway Mac stands in, causing his eyebrows to rise in extreme interest, right before Dennis shuts the door because he’s a huge tease. This is definitely the most aroused/interested in something sexual that’s about to happen that Mac has ever been in the series, possibly his entire life. We thank Rob McElhenney for his service, and every single facial expression he produced in those scenes. This is the first explicit interest Mac has taken in Dennis ever since he came out, and it further confirms that Mac really wants to make out with Dennis (amongst other things). Later, Mac wakes up from a 35-second long dream five minutes after arriving at Frank and Charlie’s place, where Dennis is, so it’s easy to presume that he was looking for Dennis. And when Dennis talks about how he, Charlie, and Mike would be an elite stripping force capable of winning the “war against women” he so declared, he tries to invite Mac—who is asleep, sadly—to join them in stripping too. But who cares about all that, because really, all we think about for this episode is the kissing dream and the Dennis dancing for Mac scene, right? 9/10
The Gang Tends Bar: What a wonderful fucking episode. All ‘round beautiful, Megan Ganz truly is a treasure. Mac spends most of the episode trying to get Dennis to open this crate he has supposedly ‘found’. However, because Dennis spends most of the episode trying to get the gang to do their jobs for once on Valentine’s Day, a day he claims he does not want to celebrate or include as a theme in the bar the whole day, he refuses to play along with it, stubbornly bartending for most of the day, no matter what Mac says. This causes Mac, and the rest of the gang, to speculate over why Dennis is being like this. After Dennis orders Mac and Charlie to clean up the yuck puddle in the bathroom, Mac confides in Charlie, saying that he feels like Dennis has been acting distant towards him, he believes that Dennis is uncomfortable with him being gay and is trying to punish him for it, which Charlie disagrees with, because, duh, and says that it must be something else. Mac then theorizes that Dennis actually wants them to talk through their feelings because it’s Valentine’s Day, and that he’s entrusted Mac to do that because he’s a gay man, proceeding to reveal that he has a huge surprise for Dennis, which he feels Dennis is not emotionally available enough to receive at the moment. Later on, Mac brings the crate into the bar, and Dennis opens it to find that Mac’s gifted him an RPG for Valentine’s Day. This entire scene is a clear romantic gesture on Mac’s part, who gives Dennis the one thing he’s always wanted, despite also thinking (like the rest of the gang) that Dennis has no feelings and hates Valentine’s Day (he has also never given Dennis a Valentine’s Day gift prior to this moment). But as Dennis reveals in his most vulnerable moment on television, he does have feelings. Big feelings, at that. 10/10
A Cricket’s Tale: No. Nope. Nothing. Fuck this entire episode, actually, because not only does it completely drag down the quality of the whole season, it has no macdennis! Nothing! Can’t pull anything out of my ass, since this is technically set over the events of PTSDee and The Gang Tends Bar. The gang is barely in this too, and as I’ve implied, it just plain sucks. It’s the worst episode, and I might even go as far as to say that it’s the worst episode of the series. So Cricket, I love you, but fuck this episode for existing, and for creating a big drop in the macdennis momentum this season had going on. -4657348924385738492/10
Dennis’ Double Life: Apparently, Dennis and Mac had some bet to decide who got to redesign their old apartment, which Mac won. Very cute stuff, makes you trust, makes you think that this episode has got your back and isn’t going to stab you in the face, makes you think it makes up for the previous episode which will go unnamed. Cue Dennis having a son with Mandy, a girl he picked up under a fake identity back in North Dakota, and now he wants to get rid of her in case she tries to come after the bar for money. Mac and Dennis pretend to be a couple—or well, according to Dennis—two people who don’t have sex but are emotionally involved. Watching Mac be completely into pretending to be a couple with Dennis, claiming that they make love, bringing back lines from when they pretended to be a couple in season 5 (oh, those days), is equally heart breaking as it is heart wrenching. So it’s good, but also horrible, but also bad. After Mac enthusiastically volunteers to raise Mandy’s son as his other dad with Dennis, he wraps his arm around Dennis’ arm which is so sad because it all comes crashing down later. Mac tries to offer to sleep with Frank for $5,000 which Dennis stops because “you’re emotionally involved with me”, a strange thing to bring up because if Dennis can sleep with women whilst being in an emotional relationship with Mac, what’s stopping Mac from banging Frank for five grand? Jealousy (and some discomfort), that’s what. Also Mac claims that Dennis is his gimp. But at the end of the day, none of that matters, because Dennis up and leaves! He leaves Paddy’s, he leaves Mac, breaking his heart, my heart, and the entire state of Pennsylvania, probably. fuck u/10
#text#macdennis#iasip#its always sunny in philadelphia#THIS TOOK ME HOURS#ik it got real long for many of these episodes but uh#i hope yall like this? lmao#rated
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SUMMARY
Alex Gardner (Dennis Quaid) is a psychic who has been using his talents solely for personal gain, which mainly consists of gambling and womanizing. When he was 19 years old, Alex had been the prime subject of a scientific research project documenting his psychic ability, but in the midst of the study, he disappeared. After running afoul of a local gangster/extortionist named Snead (Redmond Gleeson), Alex evades two of Snead’s thugs by allowing himself to be taken by two men: Finch (Peter Jason) and Babcock (Chris Mulkey), who identify themselves as being from an academic institution.
At the institution, Alex is reunited with his former mentor Dr. Paul Novotny (Max von Sydow) who is now involved in government-funded psychic research. Novotny, aided by fellow scientist Dr. Jane DeVries (Kate Capshaw), has developed a technique that allows psychics to voluntarily link with the minds of others by projecting themselves into the subconscious during REM sleep. Novotny equates the original idea for the dreamscape project to the practice of the Senoi natives of Malaysia, who believe the dream world is just as real as reality.
The project was intended for clinical use to diagnose and treat sleep disorders, particularly nightmares, but it has been hijacked by Bob Blair (Christopher Plummer), a powerful government agent. Novotny convinces Alex to join the program in order to investigate Blair’s intentions. Alex gains experience with the technique by helping a man who is worried about his wife’s infidelity and by treating a young boy named Buddy (Cory Yothers), who is plagued with nightmares so terrible that a previous psychic lost his sanity trying to help him. Buddy’s nightmare involves a large sinister “snake-man.”
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A subplot involving Alex and Jane’s growing infatuation culminates with him sneaking into Jane’s dream to have sex with her. He does this without technological aid—something no one else has been able to achieve. With the help of novelist Charlie Prince (George Wendt), who has been covertly investigating the project for a new book, Alex learns that Blair intends to use the dream-linking technique for assassination.
Blair murders Prince and Novotny to silence them. The president of the United States (Eddie Albert) is admitted as a patient due to recurring nightmares. Blair assigns Tommy Ray Glatman (David Patrick Kelly), a psychopath who murdered his own father, to enter the president’s nightmare and assassinate him—people who die in their dreams also die in the real world. Blair considers the president’s nightmares about nuclear holocaust as a sign of political weakness, which he deems a liability in the upcoming negotiations for nuclear disarmament.
Alex projects himself into the president’s dream—a nightmare of a post nuclear war wasteland—to try and protect him. After a fight in which Tommy rips out a police officer’s heart, attempts to incite a mutant-mob against the president, and battles Alex in the form of the snake-man from Buddy’s dream. Alex assumes the appearance of Tommy’s murdered father (Eric Gold) in order to distract him, allowing the president to impale him with a spear. The president is grateful to Alex but reluctant to confront Blair, who wields considerable political power. To protect himself and Jane, Alex enters Blair’s dream and kills him before Blair can retaliate.
The film ends with Jane and Alex boarding a train to Louisville, Kentucky, intent on making their previous dream encounter a reality. They are surprised to meet the ticket collector from Jane’s dream.
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The Dream Master Roger Zelazny
According to Roger Zelazny, the film developed from an initial outline that he wrote in 1981, based in part upon his novella “He Who Shapes” and novel The Dream Master. He was not involved in the project after 20th Century Fox bought his outline. Because he did not write the film treatment or the script, his name does not appear in the credits; assertions that he removed his name from the credits are unfounded.
DEVELOPMENT
DREAMSCAPE’s title encapsulates both the film and the mental landscape that its independent filmmakers occupied for almost three years. Its creators hoped that the production would not only prove to be a success, but that it would also give them the clout to go on to bigger, even more ambitious projects. Featuring elaborate special effects by Peter Kuran’s Visual Concept Engineering Company and makeup effects by Craig Reardon, the film was launched as the first outing of newly-formed Zupnik-Curtis Productions.
Producer Bruce Cohn Curtis is one of the few men left in Hollywood who still has ties to its fabled beginnings, the nephew of the legendary Harry Cohn, one of the founders of Columbia Pictures. Looking the producer, from his immaculately clipped hair down to his tailored, sharply creased suits, a chill falls over any set that Curtis walks onto. With a military air of no-nonsense, Curtis keeps a close eye on his productions and is happy only if filming is on schedule.
“I’m tyrannical on a set,” Curtis says with a smile of relaxed authority. “That’s why I use the people I have as well as I do. Many of the people on DREAMSCAPE have worked with me before and have come back because I am a perfectionist and won’t settle for less. I have a standard of excellence in my films that I’ve always maintained, no matter what the cost, so that even though you might not like the stories I’ve done, the look of the film is always rich.”
Remembering that he had to prove himself publicly in an industry filled with people just waiting for the newest Cohn to fail, for his first effort Curtis made OTLEY, a sharp-edged spy spoof/drama with Tom Courtney as an ersatz spy who finds his make-believe assignment being taken very seriously by the other side. The film died at the box office, but drew good critical notices. The industry sat up and noticed; Harry Cohn’s nephew was off and running.
Curtis partnered with various producers for awhile, including Irwin Yablans on HELL NIGHT, but chafed at being the junior partner without clout. The matter came to a head when he was making THE SEDUCTION with Yablans and grew tired of having his ideas ignored.
Curtis resolved to start his own company and make pictures his way. He found financial backing from businessman Stanley Zupnik, and was looking for scripts to start Zupnik-Curtis Productions when associate producer Chuck Russell brought in director Joe Ruben and the DREAMSCAPE script. Curtis had worked previously with both and gave the green light for Ruben and Russell to begin revising the script, written by David Loughery.
Ruben discovered Lowery’s script in 1981 at the William Morris Agency, which represents both artists. Lowery, a television writer, had come out to Hollywood in 1979 after winning a script writing contest sponsored by Columbia Pictures, while a student at the University of Iowa. Ruben had just finished directing the TV-pilot for BREAKING AWAY, and was looking for a new project.
Once Ruben started reading the DREAMSCAPE script he found he couldn’t put it down. The vision Loughery described was breathtaking, with rivers ablaze and boats filled with the undead. Ruben was excited by the property and showed it to Russell, his assistant director on JOY RIDE and GORP (also starring Dennis Quaid), films made with Bruce Cohn Curtis for producer Samuel Z. Arkoff. Russell suggested they take the script to Curtis and his new company.
It took seven months for Ruben and Russell to rewrite DREAMSCAPE; with Curtis providing detailed criticism and ideas throughout. Loughery was brought back in to help write the final draft.
“We knew some things in Loughery’s script, like the holocaust dream at the end, were so expansive that it was virtually un-filmable,” said Russell about the changes that were made. “The original ending was set in New York. We changed that so we could do the movie out here in Los Angeles. In Loughery’s script you saw all of New York on fire after the bomb had hit. You saw the Statue of Liberty, ferry boats filled with the undead, and flames across the harbor. It was really great, but I knew we couldn’t afford to do it like that.”
Putting a screenplay into production inevitably means rewrites and not always by the original writer. In the final billing, Loughery receives story credit, while sharing screenwriting credit with director Joe Ruben and associate producer Chuck Russell. When I started writing with Joe and Chuck,” he says, “the original screenplay was pretty ferme, about 108 pages. They wanted to work some more on the characters, and their relationships. That was a good thing the development of the characters gave the audience more reason to care for the people and what happened to them.”
One of the things that really worried us about the character of Alex Gardner is that he’s something of a smart ass. So, we were afraid the audience wouldn’t like him. As soon as Dennis went to work, it was obvious we weren’t going to have any problem.
“My favorite character is Tommy Ray, the psychotic psychic, played by David Patrick Kelly. He doesn’t have many scenes, but when he’s on, he does a great job. The ‘have a heart scene is going to be seen by the audience as a rip off of Temple of Doom, but the fact is we shot it months before Temple of Doom even went into production. That is Chuck’s idea; he has a grisly and macabre sense of humor.”
Russell and Ruben beefed-up the character of Buddy (Cory “Bumper” Yothers), the little boy whose nightmares are cured by the film’s dream research project. In Loughery’s script Buddy wasn’t a running character. The idea for Buddy’s character arose from concepts the writers picked up from the study of dream research.
“We found the case of a little boy who was having such terrible nightmares that he couldn’t sleep,” said Russell. “It was affecting him physically; we used that case as our model for Buddy. The first time in the film when Alex (Dennis Quaid) acts unselfishly is when he enters Buddy’s dream to try and help him. He rises to the occasion and fulfills the role of hero.”
THE DREAM CHAMBER
On an adjacent stage the set for the Dream Chamber was built. Outside, the set looked like a plywood igloo circled with florescent lights. Inside however, a small, padded chamber led to a main control room by a door and a large window. The set was a quiet haven, even when the normal racket of production was going on outside.
“The initial sketches of the set design for the Dream Chamber were some wild approaches that we felt were interesting, but not what we wanted,” Russell said. “Some of them made us feel too much like we were on a spaceship, while others were more like a classic, BRAINSTORM-type, wire-strewn lab. We decided we didn’t want a lot of whirling lights and buzzers, but something quiet and womb-like. It was a very difficult set to design because we were trying to make something that looked authentic, but we didn’t have any precedent for it.”
From an aesthetic standpoint, the design worked wonderfully. From a practical standpoint however, problems cropped up immediately that led to several delays in shooting. The set itself had been designed by Alan Jones without consulting with director of photography Brian Tufano. Jones then abruptly left the production for personal reasons so that when the set was built, Tufano had still not been consulted during the shuffle to find a new set designer. Tufano had great difficulty in setting up his lights and camera within the small confines of the set. An outside computer graphics firm had been brought in to supply authentic looking medical displays for the many small monitors built into the set. Unfortunately, the computer wouldn’t work right and left a full crew standing around collecting pay while technicians tried to figure out what had gone wrong with their expensive battery of equipment. Later, one of the technicians would quietly tell Russell that an Apple home computer would have been sufficient to give them the displays they wanted.
BEHIND THE SCENES / SPECIAL EFFECTS
“Some of the rough figures from effects companies were just staggering in the amount of money, research and development time they would need.” – Chuck Russell
Chuck Russell was told to shop around for people who could create the film’s extensive special effects and draw up a budget.
“It was very exciting to shop the script around and find out what could and couldn’t be done,” said Russell. “Some of the rough figures I got from effects companies were staggering in the amount of money, research and development time they would need. We just didn’t have the preparation time or budget of something like ALTERED STATES.
“When we found Peter Kuran’s VCE and Craig Reardon, and they got excited about the project, we knew they were perfect for it. They even helped sell the project because of their reputations, Reardon’s for working on Steven Spielberg’s POLTERGEIST and Kuran from his work with George Lucas.”
Russell assigned the live action makeup effects to Reardon, and the miniature and optical work to Kuran’s VCE company. Richard Taylor’s MAGI company was also asked to contribute computer animated imagery for the film’s “Dream Tunnel” effects. For the Dream Tunnel, Russell and Ruben wanted a semi-abstract look different from the other effects work in the picture, a “hazy.” dreamlike look, with an object or two from the upcoming scene to form and float towards the viewer to act as a visual cue for what was about to happen.
The effects sequences were storyboarded by Len Morganti; the budget was finalized on the basis of those storyboards. Because director Joe Ruben had not worked with special effects before, he carefully went through each scene with the storyboard artist.
“I knew that I had to be totally committed to my boards,” said Ruben. “I spent a lot of time thinking through the sequences and how I wanted to shoot them because I knew if I didn’t, the film would go out of control because the special effects people wouldn’t know what they were responsible for and what had to be done with each shot. I was able to get just what I was looking for. Morganti would sketch out something and if I asked him to move it a little lower and more to the right, he’d be able to do it with just a few strokes of his pencil. It was almost like working with a camera.”
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BUDDY”S NIGHTMARE
To try and save money while providing a sense of heightened realism, Russell and Ruben had wanted to shoot the “Buddy” dream, the little boy’s nightmare, on location.
“We found an old Victorian house and were actually shooting,” said Russell. “We realized that by the time you put in the lightning and thunder, it was going to look like Vincent Price was going to come around the corner. It was too on the nose, too traditional. We asked Jeff Stags, our art director, to do something different. He came up at the last minute with the idea of a forced perspective set, sort of Dr. Caligari style. It was a small set, but much more effective, as well as inexpensive. Buddy’s dream is really my favorite because it has much more impact, even though it’s not as spectacular as the last dream.”
Another problem that cropped up involved Reardon’s Snake man suit. Although an impressive work up close, Ruben felt that at even minor distances, it would seem as just a man in a rubber suit. Ruben and Russell still hoped that flickering low-level lighting would help. but Ruben began to realize that even with the extensive work he had put into planning the storyboard angles, the lighting was not going to be enough to sell the suit to an audience. Reardon firmly disagreed, “Contrary to negative thinking about rubber suits, you’ve got to see them as something delightful, and full of potential for doing something wonderful,” said Reardon. “You have to think of them almost as toys. Right when we were about to shoot the basement struggle scene, I went aside with Ruben and said there are two ways of looking at this; you can think of this as a rubber suit which will look bad, or as something which, with the proper angles and lighting, will convince people that they’re looking at a living, breathing, snarling Snake man. Now when Ruben first saw it, he said ‘Oh boy, Reardon, I don’t know…it’s a rubber suit. I thought that had a dangerous ring to it if he really believed it, which was hard to tell because he, Russell, and Loughery had this camaraderie among the three of them based on this constant derogatory kidding. That’s well and good and worth a few chuckles, but where it begins to become pernicious is when it begins to condition thinking to be truly negative.”
Reardon also objected to the low-level lighting strategy that Ruben and cinematographer Brian Tufano used to film the suit. “Tufano seemed to have a fine contempt for any kind of supplementary light which would be, in logical terms arbitrary, but in dramatic terms exciting and interesting … something that would catch the eye, something that would fill in a face or create a little cross light to show textures,” said Reardon. “The naturalistic photography Tufano used can be very detrimental, I think, to SF and fantasy stories. You contrast this with the work of John Hora, who shot THE HOWLING and GREMLINS, and you see that special effects profit enormously from using special tiny spots and direct lighting. But I didn’t feel it was my place to raise the issue.”
Reardon did try to get his viewpoint across to the filmmakers by preparing a lighting test on video. The test was crude but illustrated the alternative Reardon was suggesting. “They ignored it,” said Reardon of the test. “Yet, when they got on the set, they were completely vapor locked on the suit. They didn’t know what to do with it, and they didn’t have any ideas. All the storyboards that had been prepared in advance were completely ignored. Not once did I see anybody bring up a storyboard and crack it open and say that for this frame here we need to set up this angle. All the audacious plans evaporated. Ruben was at a loss to shoot special effects or rubber suits.”
Aupperle s first job was to coordinate the sculpture of the stop-motion Snake man, which was being done by Steve Czerkas, with the suit being built by Craig Reardon.
“They told me that they wanted to feature Craig’s suit prominently, so I was going to try and make the miniature as close as possible to Craig’s suit,” said Aupperle. “We started with a man’s armature and sculpted Craig’s design over it. I knew we were going to have to make some changes, like making the tail longer so it could whip around, but I wanted to avoid one of those instances where the suit never matches the miniature. I’d run back and forth to Craig and measure his design with calipers just to make sure we were dead on.
“Since Craig’s suit was being done in pieces our model was the first time the producers saw the way the design was going to come together. They wanted more changes than I ever expected. They actually had Steve Czerkas re-sculpt the model. It got away from the manlike design and no longer really matched the suit. I was a little concerned that the two would intercut, but that’s what they insisted upon.”
Causing Aupperle the most concern was the production’s seeming lack of respect for the story boards. *They wanted to be able to use Craig’s suit any way they wanted,” said Aupperle. “They didn’t want to be tied down by storyboards. At one time they asked me to revise the storyboards. They said they’d just have to wing it on the set. That attitude left me little to do until they were done with the live action. I found the situation very distressing.”
Perhaps the greatest disappointment for Reardon was the scant use made of a full snake-man costume. The suit appears in the film for just a few frames, as the man-snake breaks through a door; most of the action originally planned for Cedar was replaced by Jim Aupperle’s animation using models built, following Reardon’s design, by Steve Czerkas.
THE SNAKE MAN
Most changes made in the script did not alter Loughery’s story significantly. In Loughery’s original draft, the creature that menaces Buddy in the boy’s dream and later reappears as the creature stalking the President and Alex was to be a rat-man. “We changed that because so much had been done with werewolves,” said Russell. “This was right after THE HOWLING and AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON and we felt the difference between a man with a rat’s face and a man with a wolf’s face would be minimal.
“We wanted to take a different approach,” Russell continued. “Not the direction of John Carpenter’s Thing but something identifiable, so that when Tommy Ray changed into something to scare Alex, you would be able to see that it was Tommy Ray’s version of the same creature. Joe Ruben wanted to go with something that scared him, and since he’s scared of snakes, we went in that direction. I did some sketches of a snake creature and came up with something that really excited us because it was a departure from anything either of us had seen before. I think part of it came to me from my memories of seeing THE SEVEN FACES OF DR. LAO. When we showed it later to our effects people, Peter Kuran and Craig Reardon, they were really sparked by it too.
A stop-motion animator was the last member of the effects team to be hired, done through VCE. Both Russell and Ruben had agreed early on that the best and cheapest way to get what they wanted from the Snake man sequences would be with a mixture of live-action and stop-motion effects, but they were unsure just how they would mix the combination.
“I knew we would need a good animator,” said Russell. “I knew a live-action Snake man with its long neck and swishing tail would never work in a master shot. We didn’t have umpteen million dollars for physical effects.” Russell and Ruben planned to use low-key, flickering lighting for the sequences in order to seamlessly blend the two effects techniques.
Said Russell, “ Joe and I sat down with the special effects people on the Buddy sequence storyboards, which is the first appearance of the Snake man, and asked which way it made more sense to do it? It made sense to do the wide shots in stop motion and the close-ups in live action, and in the cases where we weren’t sure, we would have both of them overlap and whichever worked better, then that’s what we would go with.”
Although this arrangement was made in good faith and with the best intentions, the decision to let the two techniques overlap and not make a clear distinction between which shots would be assigned to each ultimately proved to be a decision that led to tensions and feelings of betrayal between makeup expert Craig Reardon and the production company.
Opticals were also used to create the clouds and background sky for the first dream that Quaid enters, the vertigo dream where he goes into the mind of a steelworker and falls. “There’s one shot where Dennis Quaid is supposed to be falling. said Kuran. “I spent some time trying to figure out how a person should fall so it will look right on film. We had a good plate of a falling background, and they rigged an elaborate harness at Raleigh to hold Dennis. When we were on the set. Ruben asked me how a person should fall, and I went through the motions of what Dennis should do, but Joe didn’t do that. He told Dennis to do something else that looks really corny. He ruined the shot. There was no way that I could think of to fix it and I think it looks really cheesy right now.
THE PRESIDENTS NIGHTMARES
At a budget of over $300,000 for some 90-odd cuts, DREAMSCAPE was one of the largest jobs VCE had taken on, as well as one of the most difficult. As the producers were continually asking VCE to create more or make changes with what they had done, Kuran wasn’t under pressure to have all the special effects done by the original deadline. Kuran pretty much improvises his effects as he goes along. The more they wanted him to do, the less certain he was about how much longer it would actually take to finish the effects. One thing was certain. There was no way they’d be able to get the movie out in the fall as Russell had originally hoped.
In a way though, the delays had been a good thing; something everyone was almost afraid to acknowledge because of all the tribulations the film had gone through. Kuran was creating the effects layer by layer, and even with only early tests to show, the effects still looked very good. It helped convince Curtis that even though the schedule and budget had gone to hell, it was still within limits he could work with—he was getting a better product for his money than he ever dreamed possible. The more Kuran tinkered with the visuals, the better they got. The live action footage of the actors had come out better than expected, too. Quaid and Von Sydow were marvelous in their roles, and if they could just get the effects to come out anywhere near what had been described in the script, they all began to feel they might have a movie yet, even if they did have to grimace a bit when they realized that the work on the film was still far from over.
Working with Zupnik-Curtis productions was not without its problems for Kuran in the beginning. Because Curtis had never worked with special effects before, he wasn’t sure what to expect.
“We started getting pressure from them early on,” said Kuran. “They had a rough cut of some of the sequences for us to work from, and they wanted to see something. But they kept changing the cutting without realizing that it meant we’d have to go back and redo the whole scene. There was a trolley shot that they wanted to make longer by one foot of film. At that point, all the backgrounds had been shot to length. All the miniatures had been broken down. I managed to talk them out of that one.”
Another problem is the very nature of post-production work. “When somebody does a movie, they make a little mistake here and a little mistake there, and if it doesn’t work, they just kind of throw the shit over their shoulders and it lands on them in post-production,” said Kuran. “Unfortunately, this is where we do most of our work. People are at their worst to deal with in post-production. They’re under deadlines, and if the movie doesn’t work they’re in even worse shit. The people who shot the movie are gone and they usually refuse to accept the fact that the movie is crummy because of them. Lots of people can go onto a production and create a lot of shit and come off smelling like a rose because the movie’s not finished when they leave it.”
Although VCE was contributing some 90 cuts to the film, the majority of the effects were going to be clustered around the holocaust dream near the end, and at the start, including the terrific A-Bomb teaser which opens the film. “I thought the bombs in THE DAY AFTER just didn’t look right,” said Kuran. “They looked so dark and cold. You look at a nuclear test and you can see it’s a very bright fireball, so we wanted a very hot look to our bomb.”
The Trolly/Subway Cart
Reardon’s and Kuran’s most elaborate work is seen in the climactic sequence, a surreal view of the day after Nuclear Armageddon. Dennis Quaid enters a dream which represents the President’s worst fears of nuclear war, the setting is an old trolley car that travels among the bombed-out ruins of Washington, D.C., past several surrealistic tableaux-travelling mattes and miniatures courtesy of Peter Kuran’s V.C.E. David Kelley, Plummer’s henchman, enters the dream as well, for a climactic confrontation with Quaid.
For the holocaust dream at the end, Kuran’s basic effects strategy was to have a live-action foreground element, an intermediate miniature behind that, and then have a matte or tinted water tank shot as the background. The scenes were difficult because Kuran needed something that would convey a sense of extremely large scale while still having realistic detail, a tall order on the show’s tight budget.
Russell had originally wanted to do the holocaust effects scenes first and rear-project them as they were shooting the live action. Kuran pointed out that it would take thousands and thousands of feet of film to try and generate the footage they would need, and that they would have a better chance of making sure the background footage matched with the live-action trolley car if they shot the trolley first and then had it to play the backgrounds against.
“Jim Belohovek and Sue Turner built the miniatures for the scenes, and we photographed them in different layers,” said Kuran. “To get good depth of field, we shot them at one frame per second. Then we started adding the fires. Because those had to be slowed down, we shot them at 72 frames a second. We don’t have any motion control equipment. I set up a dolly for the camera, filled the room with smoke, then lit the fires. It takes a couple of seconds to get the camera up to speed. Then we pushed the dolly down the tracks until eventually timed the push right and got it to look the same speed that we thought the trolley would be moving at. The background is a water tank shot that we used to make it look moody by adding some glows and fires. Counting everything I’d say there’s about 20 elements in that shot.”
While Kuran labored in the bowels of VCE, director Ruben and Academy Award winning editor Richard Halsey were slowly cutting the film together using unfinished optical tests that were the right length and Jim Aupperle’s Snake man animation. Kuran had been able to find them an east coast underground filmmaker named Dennis Pies (pronounced “pees”) to do the Dream Tunnel effects and the stuff looked wonderful. It was exactly what they wanted. But now it was time to decide how they were going to mix the live action Snake man and the animation, and to a great degree, they were coming down against the live action footage.
With the will to manipulate the dream to his own ends, Kelly at one point extends his fingernails into stilletos, which he uses to rip the heart from the car’s conductor, with the logic of dreams, the trolley then becomes a subway car, populated with a dozen grisly war victims, looking more dead than alive, Shortly after, Kelley transforms into a snake monster.
Reardon details the other effects he did for Dreamscape. “Tommy Ray Kelly transforms with knives springing from his fingers. He uses these to tear out someone’s heart which sits beating in his fingers,” the effects Technician says. “We made a prosthetic hand and an artificial heart for this scene.
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“We made 12 mutants up for them, Reardon says of the subway denizens, “all extremely exaggerated in their ugliness, so that, in the heavy shadows and flickering light that was planned for the shot, they would still prove effective. The design is heavy-handed, but suitably macabre for the scene.
“I hogged all the major sculpture on the picture for myself, but there were a number of other people working with me on this that also deserve mention. My greatest praise must go to Bruce Kasson, who took the weight off my shoulders where mechanical work is concerned. He worked out the mechanical effect used for the death of one of the characters at the end, as well as the stilleto fingernails. David Miller was our acrylic man, doing all the hard plastic pieces, and certainly one of my right hand men in doing the sculpture, along with David Cellitti.
Snake Man Transformation Effect
Following the completion of principal photography, there was a brief hiatus, during which Reardon re-stirred his somewhat-dampened enthusiasm, before tackling the transformation sequence.
Replacement animation is a variety of stop motion that uses separate, slightly differing sculptures, rather than the movable models most frequently associated with the form. Pioneered by George Pal, replacement animation is nowadays seen mostly in David Allen’s television commercials featuring such animated characters as Mrs. Butterworth and the Pillsbury Doughboy. Reardon’s suggestion to try this technique for an unusual transformation. Because of the frame-by-frame nature of the animation process, the sequence would be a short one-less than two seconds in sculpting work than Reardon (or, most likely, anyone else) had ever expended on a transformation effect of such short duration; 32 heads, each altered slightly from the previous head in sequence, each making a barely more than subliminal appearance in the film. It was this rapidity, and the violence of the change, that Reardon felt would make it entirely unique.
“The major problem was one of time,” Reardon says. “How was I to produce 32 different heads for this sequence within a reasonable schedule? The first thing you want to consider in a situation like this is, can you do it full-size? It took me about 15 seconds of heavy thought to realize that would be a killer, because of the molds that would be involved, and the sheer awkwardness of doing such an extensive sequence in full scale. From the beginning, they wanted David Kelley’s features discernible in the snake head’s face, so l also briefly considered taking a cast of Kelley’s face and using reduction techniques, like special shrinking molds, to bring it down to scale-but there is enough distortion in the reduction process that it wouldn’t likely be worth the effort. So I finally decided on doing a miniature portrait sculpture based on his features.
“One way to have gone would have been to produce molds of each and every stage cast one head, alter it a little further, make a mold from that and cast another stage. I ruled that out; it takes about a day to make one mold, so it would have taken a full month to prepare for the sequence.
“Instead, I took a master mold of the first stage turned out a dozen or so duplicates of that, and altered each of them to cover the first third of the total transformation. I then made another mold from the last of these, and changed those progressively. That way, I had to make no more than three molds. As the work progressed, I did some rough tests on video, which helped to show up a number of small glitches. Some of these proved very difficult to correct-seen side by side, two heads might appear to match perfectly, but tiny variances would show immediately on video.”
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A chief problem with all stop motion effects is that of temporal aliasing,” a term used to describe the unnatural look of objects seen to be in motion, but not blurred as they would be if actually filmed in real-time. All along, Chuck kept saying, ‘I hope this won’t look like animation,” says Reardon, “and of course all I could say was, I hope so, too.’
“Jim Aupperle, who did the stop motion animation on the snake monster, and my friend Randy Cook, made some suggestions to counter that problem. Both suggested that if each stage would be slightly dissolved into the next stage, that would soften the edges, and disguise whatever anomalies there were from one head to the next. So Peter took the negative and a dupe negative, printing them to a single positive with overlapping frames, so that no single frame gives a really razor sharp image of one sculpture.
The Caves
Another kind of problem arose in shooting the climax of the President’s holocaust dream, set in a cave-like underground grotto decorated with fires, twisted girders and a glowing pool of green water. Originally it was planned to shoot the scene on a section of the ruins” set at Raleigh Studios. But Russell found out that he could get a few days shooting time at Bronson Canyon. The site, long a favorite locale for low-budget productions, is actually a short “Y” shaped tunnel through a jutting canyon wall in the nearby Hollywood hills. Open at all three ends and with a high ceiling, Ruben and Russell felt they could put up a more effective set inside the cave at relatively little cost to the production.
The art department scrambled on something like 48 hours notice to come up with a revised set for the cave. They did well, but lighting the set so that the lights themselves wouldn’t show was a difficult task made harder by the fact that creating the pool of water just past the junction of the “Y” in the cave had turned the rest of its sandy floor into gritty muck that forced the crew to support the lights and camera on wooden planks and sandbags the best they could. Working in the enclosed confines quickly turned miserable too. Brian Tufano, who had been hired because of his work on QUADROPHENIA and THE LORDS OF DISCIPLINE, is yet another British cinematographer who likes to use smoke to diffuse his lighting to give the set greater visual depth. Every time Ruben went for a take, Tufano’s assistants would pump the small, sealed cave full of hot, oily smoke and wait to see if the density was right. While the crew and stars quietly gasped behind their respirators, either more smoke would be pumped in if it wasn’t enough.
According to Craig Reardon, the first scenes that were supposed to be shot in the caves were thought to be relatively straightforward. Quaid, followed by Albert, is moving through the cave when they are attacked by a mutant dog. For the dog’s costume, Reardon’s assistant, Michiko Tagawa, had made some wonderfully revolting costumes.
“They were beautiful.” Reardon said. “They had entrails bulging out of the body and exposed rib cages and boils and french fried skin. Now we were told that a Doberman would wear the costume, and in fact, the trainer had auditioned the dogs in a costume they worked in on the BUCK ROGERS television show. So Michiko went to a great deal of trouble to measure the Dobermans and I contributed sculptures for the heads while she built the body parts up from reject castings for the subway zombies.” Once we got them suited up at the Bronson location however, the Dobermans refused to perform.
“The dogs trouped around in the mud and the zippers and their fur got packed with it,” said Reardon. “It was a disaster. They took one of the suits and tried to put it on a German Shepherd, a dog which is considerably different in body build.”
In his big scene the dog was supposed to run a short distance and jump at Quaid. In take after take however, the dog merely trotted up to Quaid and stopped at his feet to try and shake the costume off. Eyes turned on the dog’s embarrassed handlers who quickly explained that the dog usually didn’t act like that; it was probably because he felt uncomfortable with the costume.
Reardon snipped parts of the costume’s legs away, hoping to make it more comfortable, but this produced no better reaction. Next, the dog’s owners took to furiously waving a little furry target at the dog. then quickly sticking it just inside Quaid’s shirt while everyone enthusiastically urged the dog to attack. This made the dog think everyone just wanted to play. It would run up to Quaid, half-hop once, then bark excitedly while waiting for his trainers to get the toy again.
Quipped Reardon, Bruce Cohn Curtis said the mutant dog looked like someone’s dirty laundry running across the floor.” Finally the dog made one decent leap past Quaid and Ruben called it a take. The shot is still in the film, although the rest of the mutant dogs were replaced with German Shepherd with their fur shaved in patches and dabbled with red goo.
“The script also called for these two raggedy dogs to chase after Quaid and Albert in the dream. It seemed that the easiest way to achieve a really striking appearance for the dogs would be to suit them in a costume covered with foam latex. I consulted with the trainers on the feasibility of it, and they said
‘Yeah, sure.’ So l sculpted two mutated dog heads, and Michiko Tagawa, a very good craftsperson who’s done work with Winston and Burman, did a beautiful job on the body suits-really hideous and nasty. She took some reject castings from the subway mutants, and reworked them into twisted body shapes, warped, burned and decked with growths. But the dogs wouldn’t wear them, and the trainers sort of shrugged, and said ‘What do you expect?’
“Those trainers were let go, and replaced by Karl Miller, who allowed them to shave his dogs in erratic patches, and we gobbed all kinds of blood, goo and crap on them. Good enough, but it’s unfortunate that Michiko’s suits will never be seen.”
VCE generated the bits and pieces that would help add life and highlights to the live action effects. A red glow was added to the mutant dog’s eyes, as well as crawling purple electrical effects when the dogs vanish. Opticals materialized David Patrick Kelly’s nunchaku weapons smoothly into his hands as well as allowed Dennis Quaid to heal his wounds and transform himself into Kelly’s father.
Snake Man Showdown
The next scene planned for the cave involved Quaid and Albert, discovering it is a dead end and that the Snakeman is right behind them. It comes out of a side tunnel, snarls, and attacks Quaid. Ruben decided he wanted to use the full-sized Snakeman suit for the shot, and Reardon was given short notice to get it ready. At the time, Reardon was working full tilt to prepare the suit needed for the basement struggle in the boy’s nightmare. A different head would be needed for the cave sequence.
“Russell got a hold of Bronson Canyon and said we’ve got to do the Kelly head to look like David Patrick Kelly, playing the President’s assassin) right away. You can’t change things around like that. I said I’d try when I should have told him no.”
Ruben shot Reardon’s live Snakeman suit in the cave, although eventually discarded most of it and replaced the scene with a stop-motion cut. Also discarded was a small but important effect Reardon had worked very hard on getting right, a brief shot where Dennis Quaid “heals” a wound in his shoulder.
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“We created a sort of bite effect, then put a plastic membrane over it and melted it with a plastic solvent so that when they ran the film backwards, the wound would heal,” explained Reardon. “It didn’t work as well as it did on the bench, which is frequently the case, but you did get a feeling of the actual fleshy material knitting itself. They opted to have Peter Kuran redo it with animation.”
More successful was a Reardon designed effect where Kelly, now distracted by an ingenious ploy of Quaid’s, reverts to a half-human, half-snake form. While diverted, Albert sneaks up behind him and drives a length of pipe through Kelly’s chest. For this shot, Reardon made a false chest with a mechanical rubber pole section inside that was connected to a spring and operated by cable. Albert would sneak up holding the pipe, then drop it out of camera sight as he lunged for Kelly, and the rubber pipe would burst through a section of painted tissue paper. Although the complex mechanical effect took some time to rig, it was accomplished in only three takes and is gruesomely realistic. It made for a happy interlude before the crew was to run into yet more problems once they left Bronson Canyon and returned to Raleigh Studios.
Dave Millers Unused Snake Man
“I also worked on a snake man head, the one that was originally going to be in the elevator sequence, emerging from the head of Dennis Quaid. But then, they had some kind of quibble over Craig’s head of Quaid–they said it didn’t look like him, or some such garbage-and they hired Greg Cannom to do that sequence over. Greg did another head of Quaid, which they wound up not even showing, though it looked perfect, and another snakeman, which-sorry, Greg I didn’t care for too much. It didn’t seem to have much definition; it was hard to tell what it was. Plus, it was pretty badly edited.” – David Miller
BOB BLAIR’S DREAM DEMISE
The “Buddy” dream completed the bulk of the main shooting. DREAMSCAPE moved from the largest soundstage at Raleigh into one small stage for what was hoped would be the final shot of the would grasp what was happening. Because Quaid’s strike against Plummer was to be a surprise, Ruben and Russell felt it was absolutely necessary to make sure that the lighting look realistic right up to the moment of the attack. This meant shooting the effect not with lighting that would highlight the makeup, but with ordinary florescent lighting. Reardon hated the lighting, but went along with Ruben’s insistence that changing the lighting would tip-off people that something was about to happen.
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About a month earlier, in late June, Reardon had supplied a transformation head, known as a “change-0” head in the business, for a scene late in the film in which Dennis Quaid confronts political schemer Christopher Plummer in the one place where Plummer is vulnerable, inside Plummer’s own dream. Quaid borrows a trick from dream assassin David Patrick Kelly and changes into his own version of the Snakeman before killing Plummer. The effect was planned to first show Quaid’s head beginning to change, cut back to Plummer as the Snakeman’s hands shoot out for his throat (a very brief scene which was shot earlier) then a quick cut back to Dennis Quaid’s Snakeman head coming for the camera.
“We prepared a head, which I felt was better than a lot of THE HOWLING heads,” said Reardon. “We didn’t content ourselves with just having the face bulge out. We had the eyes blink, and when they opened they were snake eyes. At the same time the neck elongated and the cheeks distended, and the eyes began to pop out of their sockets. The mouth opens unnaturally wide and the teeth elongate. But nobody liked it. Ruben said to me, ‘Geez Reardon, I expected something like AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON.’ That’s great. You give me six months and six hundred thousand dollars and maybe you could get that. Besides, that effect was five different heads. I told them all along that I was only going to come up with one head and do as much with it as I could.”
Neither Russell nor Ruben had been happy with the head when Reardon had brought it in. Under the flat lighting of the elevator mockup, the hair looked too bushy and still, the face too lifeless, and the neck far thicker than Quaid’s. The head didn’t work well either. with eyes that frequently jammed as they started to roll up. It took several takes to get the mechanism to work right. But beyond that, when Ruben and Russell saw footage of the effect, they realized that what they thought would be a good visual just wasn’t that exciting.
“Forget that it wasn’t convincing on film,” Ruben said. “When I saw it, I just realized that we needed a more shocking effect.”
“It wasn’t exciting enough,” added Russell. “We didn’t realize that until we saw it. It was a subtle effect that just wasn’t explosive enough. Craig’s head didn’t show anything either that would connect it with the Snakeman, and we decided we needed that, so we racked our brains and decided on something simple, like a guy’s head ripping apart with the Snakeman’s head coming out of the pieces.”
Russell contacted Reardon, but by this time, Reardon was both fed up with the production and busy trying to finish the replacement animation for David Patrick Kelly’s Snakeman transformation so he could be done with the film. Since Reardon was busy, Russell had to find someone who could do the effect and do it quickly. He decided on Greg Cannom, a former assistant to Rick Baker and Rob Bottin. Cannom’s first solo assignment was THE SWORD AND THE SORCERER, and more recently he assisted Baker with the apes for GREYSTOKE.
Cannom had talked with Russell about a year before DREAMSCAPE about another film project that never went through. Cannom was interested in the assignment, but checked with Craig Reardon first, before committing himself. Reardon gave his blessing. Cannom went into his workshop and tried an effect which would combine the two concepts that Russell discussed, creating a skull that would not only split apart, but split apart and turn into a monster at the same time. “I could see the use of the Snakeman with the kid’s nightmare, but going into an adult’s nightmare, I thought it should be a lot more horrendous and scary,” said Cannom.
Cannom’s first prototype makeup was deemed unacceptable by producer Bruce Cohn Curtis. It was a bitter decision because of the amount of effort Cannom had put into it. Cannom took a fiberglass skull which he cut and hinged so it could be pulled apart. Inside the skull, Cannom used a soft foam and sculpted a hideous face so that when the skull was pulled apart, the jaw would drop down and the foam face would come out to form the monster.
“I loved Cannom’s first approach,” said associate producer Chuck Russell. “I think it was terrific. The dangerous thing about the makeup was that in a very quick cut, with a man splitting his head open and something gooey, dark, and spongy coming out, it might look like brains. It was hard to argue for it because of that.”
Curtis told Cannom that they wanted something closer to Reardon’s Snakeman concept. Cannom tried to figure out how to fit Reardon’s Snakeman design into a reworked version of the splitting skull but finally gave up and settled for a two-piece approach. Cannom first built a small, embryonic Snakeman head which would be moved like a hand puppet inside the skull after it split apart. Cannom wanted to stop the camera and replace the small head with a fullsized but slimmer Snakeman head that would rise out of the neck and lunge for the camera dripping goo and skin. As with Reardon before him, Cannom was less than happy with the treatment he felt his makeup got from Ruben and Curtis. Assisted by Jill Rocklow, Kevin Yagher and Brian Wade, Cannom did the effect, but felt little enthusiasm for the final product.
“Bruce Cohn Curtis and the other producer, Jerry Tokofsky, were so insulting and rude to me it was incredible,” said Cannom. “It was like they already had something against me and wanted to find fault. I never want to see Bruce Cohn Curtis again.
“I don’t really think my effect works either,” added Cannom. “It’s not done the way we wanted to set it up. We were very careful about it. First, the skull would split apart, then we would cut away, put the snake creature back into the neck and put skin all around it, and then have it come at the camera. I spent hours getting the chicken skins for the makeup and preparing them, then setting-up the effect. Ruben looked at it and said, ‘That’s not what I want. No neck and no skin. I just want the head coming at the camera.’ I told him that didn’t make any sense! But that’s what he wanted, so we did it his way.”
POST PRODUCTION
Because Ruben and Halsey had been able to do much of the editing work while the final opticals were being generated, the final scoring and assembly of the footage was completed quickly. Curtis had a finished film only a month later and premiered it to his friends in mid-January at a small mixing theater in Hollywood. Although there were some clunky spots that hadn’t been fixed because of time and budgetary problems, the final cut was deftly edited around most of them and they were visible only if you knew what to look for. The audience gave the film a big hand and Curtis was very happy, as well as Kuran. Russell, Ruben and Loughery, who now looked forward to having a potential hit associated with their names. Although Craig Reardon liked the film, he was still unhappy with director Ruben.
Ruben defended his decision to replace Reardon’s work. “Craig was under tremendous pressure to deliver an awful lot of complicated physical effects,” said Ruben. “I wouldn’t be able to see a finished physical effect practically until the day we were ready to shoot it. That was a rough way for both of us to work. I was disappointed some times, and I’m sure he was disappointed in the way I was shooting things, although at no time can I remember him making specific suggestions. I think that the main thing I would change if I were to do it again, and I wouldn’t mind working with Craig again.
youtube
Dreamscape (1984) Music by Maurice Jarre 01.DREAMSCAPE 2:58 02.THE JOURNEY 4:22 03.FIRST EXPERIMENT 1:55 04.SUSPENSE 2:09 05.JEALOUSY MERRY-GO ROUND 2:56 06.THE SNAKEMAN 1:08 07.ENTERING THE NIGHTMARE 4:17 08.LOVE DREAMS 4:10
REFERENCES and SOURCES
Twilight Zone v04 n01_ Fangoria 44 Fangoria 27 Fangoria 34 Fangoria 39 Cinefantastique v15 n02
Dreamscape (1984) Retrospective SUMMARY Alex Gardner (Dennis Quaid) is a psychic who has been using his talents solely for personal gain, which mainly consists of gambling and womanizing.
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harry
creeper
zayn
liam
post malone
taylor swift
puff daddy
the hollies
Andrew lloyd webber
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big & rich
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whitley
new Greek blood
kids see ghosts
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hi55
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mega drive
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division
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skinless
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street dogs
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SOMEONE WANTS TO CUT A HOLE IN YOU AND FUCK YOU THROUGH IT, BUDDY.
read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2HeTPD9
by blairkitsch
An account of the last 24 hours of Dennis Reynolds’s career as a serial killer.
Words: 7021, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English
Fandoms: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Categories: M/M
Characters: Mac (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia), Dennis Reynolds, Dee Reynolds, Charlie Kelly, Frank Reynolds
Relationships: Mac/Dennis Reynolds
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Serial Killers, Animal Death, man just the standard bullshit you might expect with serial killer dennis reynolds, Murder, Attempted Murder, Skinning, keeping the skins, knives n shit, you know. your standard serial killer nonsense, dennis is a gein who wishes he was a bundy
read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2HeTPD9
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Electric Dream Machine 2.0
Disclamer: the song I used here is NOT mine. The song is called Kill you by Dethklok. All rights to the song belong to Dethklok and Brendon Small. Please don't throw me in Mordhouse's secret prison for this, I used it just for fun. The post with song lyrics is here and the previous AU post is here.
The day after that conversation about Uncle Jack, Charlie doesn't show up at Paddy’s. Dennis thought he had managed to calm him down and put the matter to rest, but apparently it didn't go as smoothly as he'd hoped.
When Dee asks about Charlie's absence, Frank shrugs and talks about trying to get him out of bed, but he didn't want to go and said he'd stay home in bed. And in fact, the oldest member of the gang assures him, he's been kind of weird and moody lately, and even stopped playing Nightcrawlers. A heavy sigh completes the last words, and Frank's frustration is visible to the naked eye.
– Anyway, – he continues, – I figured I'd better leave him alone, the guy deserves a day off.
Mac rushes to go check on his best friend, but Dee stops him:
– Where the fuck you going, asshole? Frank said our guy's in a bad mood today and you got the empathy of a toothpick.
– YOU THINK YOU BETTER, BITCH?! – Mac is outraged, he immediately turns to yelling, and the usual Gang’s bickering begins. Dee retorts that, unlike Mac, she has no plans to go bothering Charlie, who just needs to be left alone for today.
Dennis watches this silently with his arms crossed over his chest. Yes, he wants to see Charlie. Yes, he needs to find out how he's doing and try to calm him down somehow. But he's already too wary of spending too much time with Charlie, especially for Mac. Mac is possessive and jealous of everyone. He’s jealous of Charlie because he's his best friend; he's jealous of Dennis as his roommate and, almost obviously to Reynolds, as the object of his unrequited crush. And because of his jealousy, he becomes increasingly unstable. So Dennis didn't want to provoke him any further and kept quiet.
– Will you two just shut the hell up for a second?! – Frank didn't often raise his voice, but he was really tired of Dee and Mac's pointless arguments, and his concern for Charlie seemed to get the better of him. – You two are just going to piss him off, so unless you want something thrown at you on the way in, stay out of it. – Frank stops talking for a moment, opens a beer can and turns to Dennis. He takes a big sip and looking at him a little too intently. – If you want to go and check him out, let Dennis go. You have a strange way of calming him down, – the man says that words directly to him, – maybe he'll even want to join us at the bar afterwards.
And that's it. This is exactly what Dennis was waiting for, without interfering in the Gang's arguments. That things would somehow work out so that he would be sent to Charlie's and he wouldn't look suspicious in his concern for the janitor.
– Yeah, you're right, I'll go see him.
Only Mac explodes with resentment again, like a kid who's been robbed of his candy.
– But Charlie's my best friend!
– Nobody takes your best friend away, you prick. - Dennis snorts and heads for the exit, thinking that he should do something to distract Mac before he gets even more irritated.
***
When Charlie hears a knock at the door, he hesitates to open it, and Dennis stands under the door for another five minutes, knocking and begging Charlie to open it. He finally gives up and lets the visitor in, but immediately returns to his couch without even looking at him, muttering «don't bother me» instead of saying hello.
A very peculiar picture appears before Dennis's eyes: Charlie, wrapped in a blanket, sits on the edge of a couch that looks like a battlefield, with a synthesizer and a coffee table piled high with some junk. On the table are two half-empty cups of what looks like very strong brewed tea, empty beer bottles, an open can of glue, a can of spray paint with a sock on it, and most importantly, a notebook covered with incomprehensible scribbles and crooked drawings. Charlie was writing something down, but no one could make out his notes but himself. Well, maybe Artemis, if she's lucky.
Dennis looked from the messy table to Charlie himself, disheveled, unwashed, with red, watery eyes and a face stained with colored markers. Charlie Kelly had always been known for his disregard for personal hygiene, but now he looked as if he hadn't washed his face since he was born. And he was clearly wasted from the chemicals and alcohol.
– Hey, buddy, what are you doin–
– Shh! Shut up, and let me work, I told you! – Charlie shushes him and starts tapping his fingers on the table. Not paying any attention to Dennis anymore, he mumbles something to himself, barely audible. – I don't want to...have to...kill you.
Reynolds can barely hear anything, and he moves closer, listening to his friend's faint murmurings. – They'll fnd out... I... feel blue, – Charlie slurring some words and quickly sketches something incomprehensible and schematic in his notebook, lest he forget.
– Are you writing a song? – Dennis connects the dots, sits down on the couch next to his friend, and gently touches his shoulder. But Charlie, lost in the creative process, seems to have forgotten that he's not alone, because the touch startles him so much that he jumps up, screaming.
- I'm sorry, man, it's okay, it's me. It’s just me. – Dennis frowns, a little startled by this sudden and intense reaction, and moves away from Charlie so as not to stress him further. The disheveled man still doesn't answer the question, instead he brings the jar of glue to his nose and inhales a few times. He hands the jar to Dennis, grumbling to himself that he can't think of a follow-up.
Dennis resignedly accepts the glue, closes his eyes and breathes deeply over the jar, trying to ignore the swarm of restless thoughts in his head, mixing with Charlie’s quiet mumbling.
– Like to take all the skin off your face.
Dennis opens his eyes and places the glue on the table. His hands are shaking. He seems to got out of huffing glue, which is why his head starts spinning so quickly after just a few minutes of deep breaths he makes over the glue jar. And the dizzy head makes the whole thing even more surreal.
He looks at Charlie: his movements are jerky, sometimes he taps his drunken fingers on the synth keys, playing something, but he's displeased – «no, no, no, not like that, it sounds like shit!» – and he looks like a big sad moth under his old brown blanket. – Like to take all the skin off your face.– He repeats it again, picks up the melody, and finally seems to find the right sound, because a triumphant smile lights up his face. He plays the melody again, repeating the same line a third time, tasting it.
Mesmerized, Dennis watched the process, no longer interfering. There's something beautiful about this spectacular sight.
– Like to smash all your... brains, – Kelly continues to mumble, scribbling crooked letters in his notebook, but this time he has some difficulty. – Like to smash all your brains... all your brains... Shit! – man slams his fist on the table, unable to find the right words, and the beer bottle falls and breaks. But the sound of breaking glass suddenly evokes some interesting associations in Dennis.
– Like to smash all your brains with a... vase? – Dennis asks quietly, touching Charlie's hand with his fingers to get his attention. His touch is as gently as possible. The janitor's eyes widen, and he stares at Dennis for a few seconds, his pupils so damn dilated that his eyes seem almost black.
– Like to smash all your brains with a vase. – He repeats Dennis' sentence twice, tastes it on his tongue and nods contentedly. – Yeah, yeah, that's good!
After that, Charlie stopped seeing Dennis as a stranger and even perked up a bit, allowing him to join in the creative process. Lines are written, fanciful pictures are drawn in Charlie's imagination, a simple but appropriate melody follows the words, and Dennis feels like he's stuck in one of his strange dreams. The pictures Charlie's imagination paints are both strange and bloody. It's unlikely, Dennis thinks, that he himself could come up with an epithet about a fly laying eggs in a dead body, but Charlie, with his abstract imagination and strange ideas, does, and Dennis really likes these macabre line.
He gives in to the urge, and during the simple playback between these lines and the next, he jumps off the couch and dances around singing «Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah!» like those old glam rock songs he used to listen to in college. Well, not just in college. He still likes to listen to good old Guns n' Roses, Kiss, Mötley Crüe, Queen and of course his main idol since he was a teenager – David Bowie.
And Charlie, unexpectedly, appreciates the impulse, nods enthusiastically and smiles at Dennis, letting him know that he'll leave it in the song. Later, Dennis adds a few more «danceable» moments to Charlie's lyrics in the same way, enlivening them and giving the otherwise somber lyrics some drive. But the author himself doesn't mind, he starts to have fun either, even though he continues to pour his anger into the lyrics. And Dennis belatedly, but still realizes for whom and what about this song is written.
He does, but he keeps distracting wasted Charlie with more cheerful melodies. Kind of therapeutic, huh? There's a reason Dennis studied psychology. It works.
Charlie's song is creepy and bloody, but not in a realistic body horror way, but in a cartoonish way: absurd in its cruelty and non-obvious methods and instruments of murder. The mere desire to break his face with ice cream cone is worth a lot. Weird, cartoonish, but undeniably violent. For some unknown reason, Reynolds finds Charlie's out-of-the-box thinking very inspiring. And the whole situation - writing a song together, Charlie, gloomy and now cheerful, glue, spray paint, beer, disheveled hair, dancing together – it all seems so vaguely familiar to Dennis, as if it had all happened once before... a very long time ago. But it all feels so pretty familiar. He's sure he's seen it before.
– Oh, that was a great song, man, –Charlie says, almost falling on Dennis due to the amount of inhaled chemicals and beer in his bloodstream. But at least he's quite happy now. – Thanks for helping me out. I like the way it turned out.
And then Dennis remembers why this moment seemed so familiar. Years ago they had written and even performed Dayman in a similar way. Oh shit. – Yeah, that song is real rock 'n' roll, man, you're a talent! Too bad Electric Dream Machine doesn't exist anymore, we could even play it on stage.
– Noooo, – mooed his friend, already half on his shoulder, shaking his head languidly from side to side. – No one can hear this song. Only you. You know why. You know. – Charlie's voice becomes more and more slurred as he slowly falls into a sleep of exhaustion and glue.
The smile fades from Dennis's face, erasing any trace of his former mirth. The song, though it was catchy and fun despite its somber lyrics, still reflected real emotion, serious emotion, and was a heartfelt wish from Charlie for Uncle Jack, who totally deserved it.
When Dennis looks at Charlie again, he is already asleep on the couch, hugging the blanket with a silly smile on his face. At least that makes Dennis happy, at least he's not dreaming about something creepy and bloody. He finds another blanket on the floor, covers Charlie and moves the junk-filled table and the synthesizer away from the bed so that his friend won't knock it all over when he gets up to take a leak. Then he leaves quietly.
***
– Hey, Dennis, did you go see him? How's he doing? Still won’t leave the house?
Of course, Reynolds is greeted with questions when he comes back. He calms everyone down by saying that Charlie is better now, but he fell asleep, which is why he didn't join him at Paddy's. The gang is somehow satisfied with this answer and he's left alone.
But Dennis still has some lines from Charlie's new song running through his head. And he can still see his friend's sleepy but momentarily serious face repeating «You know why. You know». And then Uncle Jack's face appears. Deep in his thoughts, the man doesn't notice that he's humming.
– I don't want to have to eat you
I won't fit into my swimsuit.
– What are you singing there? – he's called out by Dee, who's already slowly getting ready to go home.
– Mm? – Dennis flinches in surprise and shakes his head. – Nothing, just a song, Dee. Just a song.
Dee shrugs and just walks away while Dennis stares at her leaving for a long time. Then he turns around and goes into Paddy's office, locking the door behind him. There he goes through the drawers for a long time, goes through old newspaper, takes some, also takes scissors, a sheet of printer paper and starts to cut something out.
After a few minutes, he has a crooked inscription made of different-sized letters cut from newspaper headlines, which says: «I know what you did».
#iasip#charlie kelly#dennis reynolds#serial killers au#charlie and dennis are murder buddies#charden#headcanon#Dethklok – kill you#songfic
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thank you sm for the beautiful art, @ymadstuff 💚💚
the illustration for this part
When he’s cleaned one hand this way, he calmly does the same thing with the other and does it with the slow pleasure, without taking his eyes off Dennis. Dennis finds what he’s doing disgusting, but can’t look away. There’s something fascinating about the way Charlie licks the blood off his hands, like something ancient, primeval. Just right.
@psychocharlie
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HDWDTW? 11/9-11/10 “Hot Child in the City”
TRYING TO GET CAUGHT UP LIKE A MADMAN SWEETUMS!!!! This past weekend I wasn’t booked anywhere and I haven’t been up to DC in a minute so I figured it was time to pack my bags and head to the city. Thankfully my buddy TJ Ferguson said I could crash with him.
I was able to get two shows each night. Club Heaven and Hell run by Tom Mango and Big Hunt which is Sean Joyce’s main room, and one of the top spots in the whole city.
After work Friday I got in my car and started heading up to DC. It was raining, and traffic was a total bitch (this is always the case). I pull into the metro station at Vienna, and head inside. I hop on and get off at The Farragut West stop. My first set of the night it at Club Heaven and Hell at 8. I have about a 30 minute walk in the rain so I go for it.
It is a surprisingly peaceful walk. I am super cold and it is raining, but it isn’t pouring. I’m listening to the newest You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes and just people watching. Honestly it just feels good to be walking to a gig in a dope city. Makes me keep thinking about when I am finally going to move and go for it.
Club Heaven and Hell is a cool spot. It is run by Tom Mango who is a super eccentric dude. I’ve done a bunch of his shows, and he is always willing to put me up so I can get some extra stage time anytime I am in town. Club Heaven and Hell has three bars where they can do shows. A basement bar (done this room once it was dope), a first floor bar (done this once the audience was shit), and an upstairs room (done this spot the most) which is amazing.
The upstairs room has a stage, a balcony, a bar, a spot for a dj, and a load of seats. It looks really hip and cool. Like you could totally film something there if it was full. The laughs carry in that room, and the mural on the wall behind the stage looks so freaking cool.
I get there and a dude who I don’t know well, but used to do comedy in Richmond (before I started) is there. His name is Andy Tran and he knows a lot of my friends super well. We chat for a bit and catch up. He is going up that night as well. I head upstairs to heaven and talk to Tom. He tells me that tonight is going to be a lighter night than usual, and complains about someone who closed out his show last week shitting on the room and how mad that made him.
I go to the corner and try to just relax, and get my set together. A bunch of comics I don’t know at all start to come in. I’m still relatively knew to doing shows in these scenes, and I’m not out at all the mics so they’re a little cold to me. I also realize I'm not being super inviting sitting in a corner with my notebook out. A lot of nice guys, but also you can tell they’re all super new to comedy/unpolished and this is their comedy cellar.
Alexx Starr comes in and I do know that dude. I’ve done a handful of shows with him and he’s always very nice and complimentary to me. He is also someone who is known for his combative nature on fb (keeping it 100 type of posts), and for liking to have a few drinks at shows. I won’t lie I have definitely seen Alexx murder more times than I’ve seen him do poorly. Also the last few times I’ve seen him I think he has been way less combative and is letting his material/performance speak for himself. This is always a good thing. He and I have a good talk, and get ready for the show to start.
It is a lighter crowd than I have ever seen there before, but they all paid to check it out, and are ready to laugh. The show starts and Tom goes up first. His persona on stage is pretty in your face. If you don’t vibe with it he is not going to change for you. The audience was not into it.
After his set he brought a few other comics on stage, and neither of them did well at all. They seemed nervous, new, and the mic cord was busted so it kept cutting in and out on them. The audience wanted to laugh. You could tell they just needed someone to bust the show open. They were tight, but they were reaching for anything good to laugh at.
I go up next and have a very strong set. I felt like I was doing a hosting set. I did crowd work for half of my set to get them in the mood and loose. Then I did a few newer jokes that they seemed to super dig. The best part was unfortunately I’ve had a lot of experience, but that helped me know how to hold the mic without it cutting out. I’d give my set a B.
After this point the rest of the comics did super well. It was a fun show. Alexx had a super good set after me, and the show really took off. That’s such a good feeling to be the first comic to do well, and for that energy to carry throughout the show it is a nice. Glad those people had a good time. My buddy Matt Deakins (funny dude) showed up and did a spot as well.
I thank Tom for the stage time and Matt offers to give me a ride to Big Hunt. We shoot the shit in the car, and catch up. Talk about how big he used to be (dude used to play college football and he was a monster), and his day job. We park outside of Big Hunt and go inside.
Walk downstairs and Jak Knight is the weekend headliner. I can hear through the wall that he is killing. My buddy Charlie Ross is there, and a comic I don’t know Maddy Gross. So all four of us sit down and are just shooting the breeze. Brittany Carney (super funny) hangs out for a while, and we have a good conversation waiting for the mic to start. My buddy TJ shows up, and I find out he is hosting the open mic.
Big Hunt is the spot in DC. It is part of Sean Joyce’s series of “Underground Comedy”. He runs dope rooms all over the city, but this is the one you want to be able to get on. I am finally at a point where I can get spots here. It’s a super good feeling. It is downstairs, and has the kind of vibe of like “something this cool shouldn’t be here” but it is and it is amazing.
Sean comes in and hangs for a bit. He lets me know I am first on the open mic and that is exciting and terrifying all at the same time. I try to prep in my head what I am going to do (I know exactly, but don’t want to forget the words).
The open mic starts and they’re drunk but fun. The front row is the kind of hecklers where they aren’t being mean, they’re just super loud because they’re drunk and want to talk about how funny the comic is on stage. This is frustrating because there is no way to win other than power through.
TJ goes up and has a good hosting set. A woman comes to the front because she “had” to show him her new phone case. He tells her that is great now sit down and stfu.
He brings me up, and I do my bit on arming teachers. It goes pretty well. I definitely feel good about my set. I don’t let my nerves or the audience distract me. I’d give my set a B.
I go to the back and continue to hang with my friends and wait for the show to end. TJ is my ride so I’m there for the duration.
My buddy Dom Grayer is there and we talk about gaming and comedy. We both can’t wait for the new Smash Bros to come out. I can’t wait to hand that dude a cacophony of L’s in that game.
Find out we are going to have some drop ins!!! This is the dopest part of Big Hunt. Sometimes you have big name comics drop in to hang out or perform. Tonight was no exception. The freaking Lucas Bros (Netflix, Lucas Bros Moving Company) drop in to do a spot (they were at Arlington Drafthouse) I have never seen them live before. They killed. Super smart and weird. I can’t even imagine the type of work/timing has to go into a duo act. You not only have to know your lines, but you have to know your partners. They had a bit about black guys being killed before age 34, and about going to Toys R’ Us to pay their respects. Solid set all around.
After that Jamali Maddox showed up (VICE, Hate Thy Neighbor). I don’t know if he went up, but he was definitely in the building hanging out since he had been performing at DC Comedy Loft which was cool af.
The rest of the show goes pretty well. I had never seen Maddy Gross perform before so I decide to go watch since she is closing out. She had some good jokes, and she did really well especially in the closing spot. Funny and cool chick. I look forward to seeing her perform again.
After the show TJ drives me back to my car and we go hang out at Denny’s. We eat a good meal, and head back to pass out. A pretty solid start to the weekend.
Woke up the next day after sleeping for what felt like 20 hours and went to eat with TJ. Got some wings, pigs in a blanket, and a delicious slice of cheesecake. Went back and immediately took a nap.
I then got ready and hopped in my car to drive into DC. I always like to park at the World Bank Building. It’s a long walk to the shows, but there is almost always parking. It was colder and windier this night. I ended up having to get a hot chocolate at the Wawa because my hands were so cold. This time I was jamming out to music while people watching.
I get to Club Heaven and Hell and am told by Tom that this is supposed to be a better turnout than the previous night. I hang out for a while and a lot of the comics from the previous night are here again. We’ve also got a few other people who I don’t recognize.
We push the show til 8:10 because there is only 5 people there at like 7:55. I feel like this is going to be another poorly attended show, and realize these are the sets that make you better.
Then right at 8 people just start filing in. Like this place gets pretty packed. I’d say at its peak there were 40+ people in the crowd. It’s a super fun diverse crowd and they definitely came to laugh. Since I don’t know anyone this is definitely going to be one of those nights I have to show the other comics what I can do.
The show starts and audience is into it. They’re loving it all. Even Tom had a pretty good set. He has a joke where he crip walks so I made sure I got that on video, and it was glorious and hilarious. He doesn’t feel well so he lets another comic host for him. I can’t remember his name but he is a newer Indian guy and he had some good jokes. The crowd dug him.
I’m towards the end of this lineup, but ask if I can go a little earlier since I have another show. So he bumps me up a few spots which was pretty awesome. I am now going in the middle of the show following Alexx Starr.
During the first comics set the mic goes out, and I start laughing. They had all day to get another mic cord, but they went ahead and said screw it. It is worse than the night before. So Tom is going around telling people to leave it in the stand. Each of the comics goes up and are doing really well, so I know I have to really bring it.
I end up having a super dope set. Like I am absolutely murdering. I do crowd work up top, and the newer jokes (that are really close to being finished) at the end. I had to follow Alexx Starr and he had a super hot set. I didn’t use the mic stand, but thankfully my mic did not cut out. I definitely had one of the best sets of the night. The comics after me did ok, but I definitely felt like I buried them a little bit. All in all it was a super good show and I’d give my set an A-.
After this I head over to Big Hunt. I hang and chill and find out I’m going 8th. This isn’t a bad spot at all, and I’m ready to have another good set. One of my favorite comics Lafayette Wright (Hart of the City) is there. This dude is a monster. I respect him so much, and is one of the dudes I definitely love talking to when I’m up there. There is a group of us talking shit, and hanging out. I get into a discussion with a guy who says Burr’s last special sucks, and Dane Cook was awful. I’m definitely a Dane Cook defendant. He changed comedy as we know it. He was the first to build a following through social media, and I stand by my statement that his Comedy Central Presents is one of the most powerful 22 minutes of comedy I’ve ever seen.
I get bumped down the lineup by The Lucas Bros, and their opener (which is fine and makes sense). They have a pretty good set, but not as strong as the night before. It was cool to see them change a few words and tweak the jokes from the night before.
I am terrified of this room. I only want to do stuff I know works. I don’t want to try newer stuff because I am terrified of doing poorly and not being allowed back in that room. This is a crazy thought. I finally got the balls to do newer stuff. I went up with my newer jokes, and had a really solid set with some big pops. It was a weird part of the show. I definitely did better than I thought I was going to do. I”d give my set a B.
This is a huge moment for me. I’m still nervous and kind of scared of that room, but I am no longer going to do the exact same material there every time. I need these jokes to be better, and I need to be able to stand by my material. So this was a big deal, and I’m super excited.
I walk 30 minutes to my car. Hop in and head back home. I had the type of weekend that reminds me how much fun this comedy thing can be. I can’t wait to go back, and put the lessons I’ve learned into use.
Well sorry it took so long laydees!!! I love you so much and will do better about updating. HUGS AND KISSES! MWAH MWAH MWAH!!!
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Filming in Vancouver: Beyond, Reboot, Robert Downey Jr., Seth Rogen, and more
Robert Downey Jr. is scheduled to come to Vancouver to direct a TV Pilot for Singularity.
A flurry of TV pilots that were shooting in town are wrapping up this week. But there’s another on the way, with some big names (including a hometown boy) attached to it. And while two shows are calling it a wrap, there’s a sci-fi series gearing up for Season 2.
So let’s take a look at what’s going on in Vancouver these days.
First up, the sci-fi drama Beyond will start shooting Season 2 on April 24 and continue until August 16.
After a 12-year period in a coma, Holden Matthews (played by Vancouver actor Burkely Duffield) played by awakens—and discovers he has supernatural abilities. Having entered the coma as a boy, he has to adjust to adulthood as a 25-year-old man while trying to figure out what happened to him.
Burkely Duffield
As if that’s enough to contend with, he also finds himself in the midst of a dangerous conspiracy.
Jonathan Whitesell
The cast, which shot last season in Vancouver as well, includes Jonathan Whitesell, Michael McGrady, Romy Rosemont, Jeff Pierre, and Dilan Gwyn.
Eden Brolin
Some good news for fans: Eden Brolin will be made a series regular in Season 2 so there’ll be more to explore about the character of Charlie.
Meanwhile in other TV news, a TV pilot will end production on almost every day of this week.
Sarah Shahi
Reverie, which started on March 13, finished on April 1.
The sci-fi series—starring Sarah Shahi, Jessica Lu, Sendhil Ramamurthy, Kathryn Morris, and Dennis Haysbert—will explore what happens when virtual-reality clients refuse to wake up.
Claire Holt
Today (April 3), Doomsday wraps up, after starting on March 11.
The thriller-drama assembles a cast, including Claire Holt, Rachelle Lefevre, Taye Diggs, Dan Byrd, and Jack Davenport, who portray a think tank who have to stop a catastrophe from happening—the twist is that it’s one that they conceived of.
Laverne Cox
On Tuesday (April 4), The Trustee, which began on March 13, finishes up.
This cop-buddy dramedy stars Meaghan Rath (Being Human) as a detective who forms an unexpected partnership with an ex-con, played by Laverne Cox (Orange is the New Black).
Jeremy Piven
On Wednesday (April 5), Wisdom of the Crowd calls it a wrap, after having started on March 19.
This drama, about a tech developer who creates a crowd-sourced crime-solving app to solve his daughter’s murder, stars Jeremy Piven, Monica Potter, Natalia Tena, Blake Lee, Jake Matthews, and Richard T. Jones.
Freddie Highmore
On Thursday (April 6), The Good Doctor finishes up, having started on March 21.
Freddie Highmore (who is also on the Vancouver-shot Bates Motel) stars in this medical drama as a surgeon with Savant syndrome. The cast includes Antonia Thomas, Richard Schiff, Hill Harper, Nicholas Gonzalez, Irene Keng, and Chuku Modu.
Robert Downey Jr.
But wait—there’s another TV pilot coming this way in the near future.
Singularity will shoot in town from May 8 to 17.
It’s to be directed by none other than Robert Downey Jr. (Iron Man), who will be making his directorial debut with this project.
Anthony Michael Hall
Details are slim about this tech comedy but Anthony Michael Hall (The Dark Knight) will star.
(Fun fact: Hall and Downey Jr. costarred in the 1985 nerd comedy Weird Science.)
Fashion model Seth Rogen poses with the latest must-have accessory.
Evan Goldberg and Vancouver’s Seth Rogen (Neighbors) are teaming up again to write and produce the show.
As we previously mentioned, Rogen is also co-producing the action-comedy film Game Over, Man! in town.
The film, starring Adam DeVine, Anders Holm, and Blake Anderson, has been rescheduled to start on April 12 and continues until June 5.
Elsewhere in the city, two TV series are ending their shoots in the city.
Reboot: The Guardian Code
Season 1 of Reboot: The Guardian Code began shooting on February 23 but ends production today (April 3).
The series is a reboot of Reboot, the groundbreaking computer-animated TV series about computers.
This version is a combination of live action and CGI animation that will take the concept of the original series (which began back in 1994) into the tech-era of today.
Tom Ellis
Later on this week, the devilish police dramedy Lucifer, starring Tom Ellis as the Lord of Hell who joins the L.A. Police Department, wraps up shooting Season 2 on Thursday (April 6), after having started on June 20.
This one is a farewell to the series from Vancouver, as it’s relocating to L.A. (where the story is set) for its next season.
Ah well, all dastardly good things must come to an end.
Nonetheless, there are more film and TV projects on the way so stay tuned for more announcements and check in with us next week for more of what’s going on here on the streets of Hollywood North.
Inside Vancouver Blog
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Charlie has uncle issues
For a month now, Dennis has been staying at the bar late into the night, locking it up himself. He took everyone's keys, leaving only Charlie's copy to open Paddy's in the morning. The Gang resented this and protested, but Dennis was adamant and took away everyone else's keys on the grounds that they were all a bunch of irresponsible shitheads who forgot to lock up the bar. The fact that someone had robbed the cash register one night was also a strong argument for Dennis' rightness (and no one suspected that Dennis was this "someone" who had robbed Paddy's to carry out his plan). So for a month, Dennis staying the longest and closing the bar. Charlie also often lingers, because the bar needed to be cleaned up before closing, which, as everyone knows, is Charlie work.
Of course, Dennis made this scheme so that he and Charlie would have time to be alone and talk about their business without looking suspicious. Especially since the Gang started noticing their odd behavior. Especially Mac. Oh, Mac has become unbearable. Suspicious, obsessive, and jealous. Reynolds should get something much better than this bar trick to distract him. And he was going to do it later.
But that night Charlie left early, while even Mac, Dee, and Frank were still at the bar. His mom called him and begged him tearfully to come over and help her with something, and he left. So it's only been about 15 minutes since everyone left, and Dennis was really getting ready to close up and go home, because Charlie wasn’t there, and Dennis hadn't been doing his «business» in a while. And neither had his friend. After that terrible nervous breakdown in his bad place he hadn't touched a single person yet.
The man is briefly distracted by his phone before getting up from the counter and walking away. Grinning, he replies to a message from a pretty girl on a dating site he's been DENNIS'ing for a few days, anticipating the inevitable culmination of their dates – first passionate and then bloody, filling his entire being with power and strength. In those moments, he truly felt like the actual Golden God. Only then did the gaping hole in his chest, the God Hole, cease to ring with its emptiness, and he felt whole. Then and in some other rare moments that Reynolds preferred not to think about.
Before he can even finish the message, the door swings open, causing Dennis to flinch and lift his head, and Charlie plops down behind the bar.
– I'm gonna kill him. – Charlie's voice is hoarse, and he's literally growling, looking sullenly like a beast ready to pounce on you and tear you to pieces. His eyes burn with anger, but it's not a hot flame of rage, it's something colder, even more sinister. Hatred.
Dennis quickly presses the send button, no longer caring what he texted to that sweet fool, and sets the phone aside. All his attention is on Charlie now.
– Who? – His voice is soft and cautious. He pulls a bottle of whiskey and two glasses from under the bar, deciding it is the best choice for the circumstances. «Is that the last thing his victims see?» – wonders Dennis. Charlie, meanwhile, empties a glass of whiskey under his gaze. In one gulp.
– Uncle Jack.
Dennis sighs heavily and presses his lips together, sipping from his glass. Uncle Jack. Charlie was always out of sorts after seeing him. Usually he just got weird, twitchy or depressed. Sometimes he'd get irritable and start shouting at everyone. But this time it was the real hatred. Cold and full of contempt.
Dennis remains silent, and his buddy pours and drains another glass again. Gradually his face softens, the hatred fading from the green eyes, making way for deadly fatigue and despair and resentment.
– I want him to die like a goddamn brute. – Voice's desperate, almost whisper. The formerly tense posture of a predator ready to pounce changes as well, Charlie's body slouches, shoulders droop. Then Dennis finally decides to speak, quietly and calmly.
– I understand, bud, you have every reason to want him dead. He molested you.
Charlie stands up again and screams. Dennis sees the desperation in his eyes.
– He didn't molest me!
– He did, – Dennis replies quietly yet firmly, bringing the half-empty bottle to his friend's mouth. He presses his lips together, digging his fingernails into the old wooden surface, exhales heavily and, closing his eyes, allows Dennis to get him drunk.
– He did. - His voice sounds like an echo, barely audible repeating Dennis' words as Charlie lowers his head, resting it on the counter. Reynolds flinches. This is the first time Charlie has ever admitted it. They all knew it, but Charlie had always denied it, indignantly and furiously, without admitting it. So had Dennis with his Ms. Klinsky thing. But now Charlie finally admitted it and allowed himself to be vulnerable around him. Dennis drains the rest of his whiskey and patts the bar next to Charlie's shoulder in a reassuring gesture, hesitant to touch him right away.
– Alright... – there’s a pause in the air as Dennis tries to think of what to say now, – you know... do it. You have every right to.
– I'd like to. – His voice is muffled. – I wanna do it every time he reaches out to me with his creepy hands. He fucking hugged me today. But I can't.
– Why not?
And Charlie lifts his head and shakes it. He looks now like an abandoned puppy who's lost all hope of finding a home. He sighs heavily and starts to talk. He talks and talks and talks. Talks about how much his mother loves that bastard Jack, how she's cared for him all her life. The stupid bitch throws a little family party of his birthdays and even bakes the cakes for him, but she can't even remember the exact age of her own son, not to mention wishing him a happy birthday. He tells how upset and hysterical she would be if her brother suddenly disappeared. She’d call the police and they would find Charlie. And after him, probably Dennis as well. And Dennis nods, nods, nods, doesn't understand why he didn't think of it himself. Like, it's so obvious and logical. He hadn't thought of it because his mind was busy thinking that Uncle Jack should die in agony like a filthy animal, which he was.
They drink another bottle of whiskey and gradually change the subject. Now they are discussing the failure of the gang's scheme this afternoon and who is to blame (It was all Dee! That bitch is totally unartistic and can't even play such a simple role in our plan!), when suddenly Charlie speaks up and changes his face again:
– But if I ever see him molest a child in person... I'll kill him. And then I won't care about the consequences. I just won't be able to bear it. I'll take a hammer and smash his ugly face in. I'll crack his head like a walnut. I'll hit and hit and hit his head until I stop recognizing him at all. He'll die in agony like an animal, he'll–
Dennis can see that Charlie is about to boil again: his hands are clenched into fists, his eyebrows are drawn together in a broad line, and his teeth are clenched tightly together, almost gritting. Dennis swears he can hear them grinding.
– I'm staying out of his perverted business, but if I see this–
– Oi-oi-oi-oi-oi-oi-oi-oi-oi-oh-oi! – he grabs Charlie by the shoulders and shakes him, repeating an old tried-and-true ritual, trying to distract and calm him.
– Oi-oi-oi-oi, yeah, – he mumbles back and nods, closing his eyes to calm himself. Dennis pours him another whiskey.
***
At home, Reynolds is met by Mac with his stupid questions about what took him so long and where he was.
– I was with a girl, – Dennis angrily waves him off.
– Oh, with a girl? – Mac's eyebrows rise in a familiar expression as he spreads his arms across his chest, glancing at his neighbor, – I knew you took away everyone's keys just to fuck chicks at Paddy's! Did you fuck her on the bar stand? Or on the pool table? On my favorite pool table? Spit it out, man!
– Get yourself a goddamn boyfriend, Mac, and fuck him on the pool table or wherever you want, but get the fuck off me! – Dennis yells at him irritably and disappears into his room, slamming the door behind him. Mac is really starting to get on his nerves. Something has to be done about this.
Finally, after a long day, Dennis lies down in bed with his eyes closed. His imagination immediately pictures Uncle Jack's mutilated body on the Paddy's basement. His face is unrecognizable - smashed with a hammer, it's just a bloody mess, pools of blood spreading around. His hands, which Jack had always been so self-conscious about, which he had always tried to hide, conceal, visually enlarge, were now severed. Jack's severed hands will never be pets for Charlie. Charlie will take the smallest jar he has and chop them up in there, slicing off each finger individually like sausages. «Oh, look, Uncle Jack, your hands are so small they can only fit in this silly little jar. How pathetic is that, Uncle Jack. It sucks to have hands small like this, doesn't it?» And then he throws the jar into the scalding heat of the furnace.
Dennis clutches the sheets with his fingers, his lips drawn together in a thin line. The last thing he thinks about before he falls asleep is Uncle Jack's dreadful death, which he deserves.
#iasip#charden#serial killers au#charlie and dennis are murder buddies#dennis is bastard man#charlie is chaotic psycho#headcanon#it's so long#why it’s so fucking long#charlie kelly#dennis reynolds#uncle jack#hate him
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Dennis meets Charlie’s pets
One day Charlie doesn't show up at the bar for a long time, even Frank says he didn't come home to sleep. Dennis sends him urgent 911 messages, but Charlie doesn't answer, his phone is unavailable despite their agreement to always pick up the phone after receiving 911 emergency messages from each other. And Dennis starts to worry: there's no telling what could have gone wrong, he could have been caught and arrested, something could have gone wrong, and his own victim could have killed him. Dennis was on the edge.
Mac tells him about Charlie's bad place and Dennis goes into the fucking vent for him. The Golden God in all his glory climbs into the stuffy, stinking vent for Charlie; if someone had told him that before, he would've laughed in their face. But he goes in there despite Mac's best efforts to talk him out of it, because no one knows what Charlie really does in his bad place and going there when Charlie clearly didn't want to be found could be tantamount to suicide.
Dennis rips his favorite shirt, scratches his cheek, curses and almost gets lost in the narrow, dark passages of the ventilation system. Nevertheless, he finally finds Charlie's bad place, adorned with a threatening, poorly written message on the wall and a skull drawing for clarity.
He finds Charlie there, completely shattered and stoned, sitting among the shards. His friend is sitting with his back to him, unaware of Dennis' presence, whimpering and mumbling something in a whiny voice. He’s twirling something in his hands, holding it up to his face. Upon closer inspection, Reynolds realized that it was a severed human hand, glistening with moisture.
– JESUS CHRIST! – Dennis couldn’t hold back and cried out, shocked by the sight. Charlie jumped in fright, reflexively throwing the hand at Dennis, who yelped in a less than courageous manner.
– Damn it, Dennis! Why the hell did you sneak up like that?! I almost shit myself! Goddamn. But I'm glad it's just you, not someone else. Holy shit. What are you doing here?
– You've been gone for two days. You didn’t pick up your phone, not even 911 emergency. I thought the cops had you. Or worse, you were killed. And what the fuck is this shit? – Still recovering from the shock, Dennis pointed at the severed hand that had flown straight into his face just a minute ago.
Charlie squirms, wiping his teary and sticky eyes and stutters.
– Um… it's like… my pets. I come here and play with them when I feel sick…
– Your what?… – Dennis rubs his nose, trying to hide his disgust. Then he looks at Charlie carefully and his voice softening.
– What's happened, buddy? Why are you here?
Charlie sniffles again, hiding his face in his hands and sits down on a dirty floor strewn with broken glass. He shakes his head vigorously, not wanting to tell, but Dennis approaches him from behind and gently massages his shoulders, trying to calm him down. Dennis knew Charlie very well, and physical contact was the thing that really helped him during these breakdowns and stress.
Eventually, Charlie begins to talk.
– I've been thinking, Dennis. I've been thinking a lot. My thoughts are racing. The hum of voices, the screams of my victims. It's all mixed up. It haunts me every fucking second. Even in my sleep. I can't sleep, Dennis, I just can’t. I can't sleep after… – Charlie hesistates and doesn't finish the sentence. He's afraid fall asleep after the dream in which he ate Dennis. That's what scares him the most. Charlie doesn't know what to expect from himself when it comes to anger outbursts, and that stupid dream revealed his darkest deepest fears. He's afraid of losing Dennis. He's afraid of hurting his loved ones. He's scared that one day he’ll lose control completely and become a real monster. Charlie rubs his weeping eyes and shudders when his friend's hand gently squeezes his shoulder. His shoulders slump. – Even glue and cat food aren’t working anymore. This can't go on any longer. I'm a horrible person, a total psycho, I want...I want to stop this. I'm so tired of it, Dennis. I'm insane, aren't I? Tell me, am I a total psycho?
Dennis's heart, which he thinks of as a heart of ice, sinks when he hears all this words, and he sits down next to Charlie and hugs him tightly, stroking his back and just whispering – Shh, shh, shh, buddy, you're okay. It's alright, Char.
Except Dennis knows he's not okay at all. And Charlie knows it. And what they both also know is that Charlie won’t stop, no matter how much guilt he feels.
Nevertheless, Dennis, almost without disgust, takes Charlie's "pet" – a severed hand – puts it in a jar filled with medical alcohol and places it on the floor, where three others stand. He wonders if these are all victims he had or if he has only made the hands of four of them his "pets." But he does not voice his question, not wanting to worsen his friend's condition. Besides, intuitively he knows the answer: Charlie has many more victims than just four. He tucks the hand back into the jar where it was kept until Charlie took it out, and then sits with him in the debris for a few hours, just holding him in his hands and cradling him. Dennis hopes he'll get better, as he has no idea how to cheer him up in this circumstances.
Eventually Charlie, tired of shaking and crying, just falls asleep in his arms, and Dennis sits there with him until morning, exhausted by his heavy thoughts. At times his hands automatically stroke the Charlie's chest, pulling him closer. The filthy vent, the broken glass, and the jars with severed hands inside, standing here and there, aren’t obviously the best place to sleep, but he can't leave Charlie alone. So Dennis sighs heavily and closes his eyes too.
#iasip#charlie kelly#dennis reynolds#serial killers au#charlie and dennis are murder buddies#dennis is bastard man#charlie is chaotic psycho#headcanon#charden#it’s always sunny in philadelphia
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