#charleston shoe thieves

[wowwforever]

Blaseball confession: I appreciate what the Charleston Shoe Thieves did for me but as soon as I joined the Hellmouth Sunbeams my GPA went up by like a full letter grade

[soda-tab-society]

no but you don’t understand how important Blaseball was.

it wasn’t just a silly random number generator with a discord community, it was the community.

i, like many others, felt a sense of comfort in knowing my fellow fans were waiting for the same random numbers to appear, made up epic stories, laughed, cried, burned candles and exploded suns.

blaseball was so much. it was way bigger than a site. blaseball was a part of many people’s lives.

if i could i would talk for hours about it, and seeing the community die out slowly with everyone moving on feels… bad. i miss it.

i miss blaseball.

play ball

[wollystone]

i think i miss Blaseball 😔

[rollinkunz]

A bunch of Blaseball fan art that I won’t have another reason to post ever, probably! But that I’m still proud of. Above is The Anchor at Sunken Charleston, home of the now-and-forever-champions Charleston Shoe Thieves (Our Kicks!)

Blood Hamburger, lovable meat-man and occasionally excellent player. He and the rest of these character portraits were cursed after fighting the peanut god at the end of season 09. If I remember correctly. 

Esme Ramsey was twice-cursed, once by the Peanut and again with a zillion ghosts. The Haunted ability was meant to be an interesting buff (I think) but basically mostly made Esme into a carousel of beloved-but-useless dead players. Both Esme and Blood made it into print in an actual Charleston newspaper at one point, which is fucking bananas. 

Richardson Games won a cool grappling hook in a raffle and proceeded to turn into the entirety of the Shoe Thieves’ defense for several seasons. Good at stealing, too. An absolute legend, but a sleeper star player as far as most of the league was concerned. 

Velasquez earned the nickname “Twofer” because she had a weird stat roll that made her hit a lot of doubles. I imagined her as a pair of mischievous imps, once Cursed.

And finally, we have Sneaker Pete, “lovable” Shoe Thieves mascot. The top color scheme was printed as a shirt (which I own and love); the bottom one is like a 90s Chester Cheeto-style version. 

[crabmoney3]

Hey blaseball folks so you may know that I am currently working on the script for Blaseball the Musical 2 (A Tillman Henderson Musical)

What you may NOT know is we are currently looking for a director for casting and scene direction! Email mxmahalp@gmail.com to inquire, or DM them on discord at wretchstar !

[library-whale]

Probably should've made this post sooner, but for a little more than a year now I've been working on Blaseball team fandragons! (I was gonna send them to all the sidecords, but the Breath Mints no longer have theirs...)

In order: Charleston Shoe Thieves - Ridgeback, Male Pose | Yellow Pinstripe/Lemon Noxtide/Caribbean Underbelly/Lightning Bright Moab Hellmouth Sunbeams - Aberration, Female Pose | Flaxen Diamond/Yellow Weaver/White Fangs/Light Multi-Gaze Kansas City Breath Mints - Obelisk, Female Pose | Spearmint Pinstripe/Jade Breakup/White Underbelly/Nature Glowing LA Unlimited Tacos - Spiral, Male Pose | Amethyst Boulder/Banana Patchwork/Black Underbelly/Arcane Bright (i wish there were a better gene for the team colors than patchwork lol) Alaskan Immortals - Gaoler, Male Pose | Lapis Shaggy/Ultramarine Flair/Gold Sparkle/Ice Uncommon

(I have one more Pre-History I dragon, but I'm waiting until I get another team to post it.)

[blaseballzinejam]

we're SO back @blaseball

[thehallstara]

photometry, or the extinction of a star and that which it kills

Act Two: Core Collapse

(11k words, a year in the making. cws for canon-typical violence, death, grief/mourning, drowning, swears, and minor substance use.)

[lycanthian]

always a thief.

[ohkaypoh]

BEST. FRIEND. STACK.

[Ankle Halifax and Wyatt Mason IV designs by Quail on discord. Tahini Poinsettia design by me]

[theunsubtleknife]

I miss the Charleston shoe thieves so much

[doctorwhoisadhd]

which dr who characters i think would be a fan of ur favorite blaseball team:

Atlantis Georgias: Yasmin Khan + the entire Paternoster gang. Yes including Strax

Baltimore Crabs: easily Owen Harper. he has the exact personality of a character the crabs would create

Boston Flowers: Gita Chandra (she's literally a florist) + probably Martha Jones

Breckenridge Jazz Hands: Cleo Proctor! Shawna Thompson and Abby McPhail would be there with her too

Canada Moist Talkers: Wilf I think?

Charleston Shoe Thieves: it'd be really funny to put 8 here but no. Chang Lee, 3

Chicago Firefighters: both Ryan Sinclair and Graham O'Brian

Core Mechanics: Luke Smith

Dallas Steaks: Dan Lewis and Rhys Williams

Hades Tigers: LEELA i don't even know leela that well but she would ABSOLUTELY be a tigers fan

Hawaiʻi Fridays: 8, Osgoods, also by series 10 twelve would be a friday

Hellmouth Sunbeams: River Song

Houston Spies: Mickey Smith (spies fan since season 1), Rani Chandra

Kansas City Breath Mints: Clara Oswald, 7

LA Unlimited Tacos: Andy Davidson

Mexico City Wild Wings: Ianto Jones (bc of the lawyer stuff and pase lo se pase)

Miami Dale: Clyde Langer and 15

New York Millennials: Ruby Sunday

Ohio Worms: 13

Philly Pies: Alan Jackson (bc he skateboards but doesnt quite have fridays energy)

San Francisco Lovers: Jack Harkness (duh), Grace Holloway (duh), Amy Pond

Seattle Garages: Fitz Kreiner, early 12, Ace McShane

Tokyo Lift: Toshiko Sato (also she would have spreadsheets so automated they could make you a cup of coffee)

Yellowstone Magic: Bill Potts, Maria Jackson

[whales-are-gay]

saw someone wearing a charleston shoe thieves shirt and i asked if it was a blaseball shirt and a third person said “is that the ai baseball game” and we were both like NO it’s NOT ai

[quinncinerated]

MY PROGENY

Heyo everyone, it's been a bit (mostly because I forgot), but I'm back with more fun findings from the Blaseball testing data!

During Short Circuit 2, there was a blessing, TASTE THE INFINITE, that allowed for Teams to pledge themselves to a Shelled One, and be remade in their image.

Turns out, in testing? More than a few teams took on this mantle to varying degrees.

Behold, your Charleston Shoe Thieves CHARLESTON PEANUTS.

Being the sole team that underwent a full rebranding under a Shelled One's guise, all of the players on the team don't seem to have any adverse results from such a thing.

Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for the other teams that they had to play against, or more specifically, the Miami Dale. In this test, two players of the Dale found themselves Shelled: hitters Paco Glacier and Ralfie Specter.

Outside of this team, there were a number of other teams that carried the Honey Roasted distinction - one LA Unlimited Tacos, and two Yellowstone Magics both saw fit to champion the cause, but not enough to change their names.

Until next time!

[estrogenmccormick]

Hey what team you a fan of

THE SHOE THIEVES. THE CHARLESTON SHOE THIEVES. I DON'T KNOW ANY OTHER TEAMS. I THINK??

WAIT.

NO, I KNOW ABOUT THE BREATH MINTS.

THEY'RE MY SECOND FAVORITE. BUT I'M A SHOE THIEVES FAN. HOW ABOUT YOU

[shootingst4rpress]

posting my Life Series/Hermitcraft but it's Blaseball AU on here

because it's been rotating in my brain for like a week and i actually love it

this au is split into PRE-HISTORY BLASEBALL and INTERNET LEAGUE BLASEBALL. the pre-history timeline is in this post under a readmore & i will reblog with the ILB timeline.

this is an AU where the minecraft youtubers from the Life Series and/or Hermitcraft are Blaseball players in the world of Blaseball. some characters are pretty directly mapped onto each other (FalseSymmetry is roughly Megan Ito, InTheLittleWood is Parker MacMillan, Smajor is Jaylen Hotdogfingers) but most of the time i'm just putting equivalents of their stories into blaseball with narrative beats i like. this is inspired by both blaseball events and blaseball fan storytelling. anyway read on!

note: this is a version of prehistory that doesn't include full team incineration, and so the discipline/expansion era (including lift/worms/mechs) teams exist the whole time.

Ren Dog is a San Francisco Lovers pitcher, he's good, but not great. Martyn Littlewood is a hitter for the Charleston Shoe Thieves. The Watchers are a Blaseball god in this AU, similar to the coin, who love Martyn and are determined for him to rise to the top of the league. The Watchers are using their power to keep piling Wills and Blessings on Martyn, and he's kind of begrudging of the situation. Eventually, he changes teams to the Baltimore Crabs because of another blessing.

Martyn and Ren end up striking up a close relationship, since the Lovers and the Crabs play a lot of games together. They try and keep it somewhat secret, especially as Martyn begins to become more and more famous and more resentful and hateful of the Watchers.

Joel Beans is a hitter for the Lovers, but a blessing sends him into the Lovers shadows in exchange for Lizzie Shadowlady, a pitcher. Lizzie and Ren quickly become close friends, and this causes some jealousy from Martyn, but eventually he's persuaded to trust her and the three of them become a tight-knit little group. A blessing then steals Joel Beans onto the Kansas City Breath Mints. He has a tense rivalry with Lizzie, as she 'stole his place' on the Lovers, but it eventually blooms into a romantic relationship in true Blaseball style.

Throughout the seasons, there's been some weird reality disturbances going on, and Martyn's rise in skill and up the idol board is stopped when a reality-breaking game kills him. The Watchers, perhaps furious or perhaps in accordance with their plan all along, put the League into Debt in order to bring him back. This brings Martyn back, but he has a new modification—the Hand (this universe's Firewalker,) which causes him to incinerate everything he touches.

So Martyn starts killing people, and it's unsure whether he's out of his mind or truly wants to destroy the league. Meanwhile, Chicago Firefighters player False Symmetry has got the Roaming modification, and although she's sad about leaving her beloved team, she has a plan—she, while journeying across the League, and gaining an item trading/stealing modification, obtains an item called the Forcefield, which causes the player who has it to be unable to move from their position. She aims to put it on Martyn when he enters the Vault, but holding the Forcefield while Roaming (unable to move positions whilst having to move positions) causes her to be in a state of Superposition, and she glitches out of reality.

False, outside of the world of Blaseball, ends up becoming The Microphone, a Blaseball God who speaks cryptically to fans and seems to have their best interests in mind. She informs the fans about her plan, and the fans select a player to take the Forcefield to Martyn, and they pick Ren Dog.

Ren doesn't want to imprison Martyn in the Vault, for obvious reasons, but after Martyn incinerates Lizzie in a game, and then Joel for trying to attack him (as well as incinerating many many others) he decides he has to do it. He's traded by fans to the Baltimore Crabs, and then equipped with the Forcefield, so he can trade it to Martyn. At the end of the season, Martyn becomes eligible to enter the Vault, and Ren gives him the Forcefield, trapping him forever. Hopefully.

Also, Etho Slab is here and he plays for the Canada Moist Talkers. It didn't come up, but he is there.