#charleston shoe thieves

[wowwforever]

Blaseball confession: I appreciate what the Charleston Shoe Thieves did for me but as soon as I joined the Hellmouth Sunbeams my GPA went up by like a full letter grade

[viciathief]

in our bedroom after the war

[wollystone]

i think i miss Blaseball 😔

[rollinkunz]

A bunch of Blaseball fan art that I won’t have another reason to post ever, probably! But that I’m still proud of. Above is The Anchor at Sunken Charleston, home of the now-and-forever-champions Charleston Shoe Thieves (Our Kicks!)

Blood Hamburger, lovable meat-man and occasionally excellent player. He and the rest of these character portraits were cursed after fighting the peanut god at the end of season 09. If I remember correctly. 

Esme Ramsey was twice-cursed, once by the Peanut and again with a zillion ghosts. The Haunted ability was meant to be an interesting buff (I think) but basically mostly made Esme into a carousel of beloved-but-useless dead players. Both Esme and Blood made it into print in an actual Charleston newspaper at one point, which is fucking bananas. 

Richardson Games won a cool grappling hook in a raffle and proceeded to turn into the entirety of the Shoe Thieves’ defense for several seasons. Good at stealing, too. An absolute legend, but a sleeper star player as far as most of the league was concerned. 

Velasquez earned the nickname “Twofer” because she had a weird stat roll that made her hit a lot of doubles. I imagined her as a pair of mischievous imps, once Cursed.

And finally, we have Sneaker Pete, “lovable” Shoe Thieves mascot. The top color scheme was printed as a shirt (which I own and love); the bottom one is like a 90s Chester Cheeto-style version. 

[crabmoney3]

Hey blaseball folks so you may know that I am currently working on the script for Blaseball the Musical 2 (A Tillman Henderson Musical)

What you may NOT know is we are currently looking for a director for casting and scene direction! Email mxmahalp@gmail.com to inquire, or DM them on discord at wretchstar !

[library-whale]

Probably should've made this post sooner, but for a little more than a year now I've been working on Blaseball team fandragons! (I was gonna send them to all the sidecords, but the Breath Mints no longer have theirs...)

In order: Charleston Shoe Thieves - Ridgeback, Male Pose | Yellow Pinstripe/Lemon Noxtide/Caribbean Underbelly/Lightning Bright Moab Hellmouth Sunbeams - Aberration, Female Pose | Flaxen Diamond/Yellow Weaver/White Fangs/Light Multi-Gaze Kansas City Breath Mints - Obelisk, Female Pose | Spearmint Pinstripe/Jade Breakup/White Underbelly/Nature Glowing LA Unlimited Tacos - Spiral, Male Pose | Amethyst Boulder/Banana Patchwork/Black Underbelly/Arcane Bright (i wish there were a better gene for the team colors than patchwork lol) Alaskan Immortals - Gaoler, Male Pose | Lapis Shaggy/Ultramarine Flair/Gold Sparkle/Ice Uncommon

(I have one more Pre-History I dragon, but I'm waiting until I get another team to post it.)

[blaseballzinejam]

we're SO back @blaseball

[thehallstara]

photometry, or the extinction of a star and that which it kills

Act Two: Core Collapse

(11k words, a year in the making. cws for canon-typical violence, death, grief/mourning, drowning, swears, and minor substance use.)

[lycanthian]

always a thief.

[ohkaypoh]

BEST. FRIEND. STACK.

[Ankle Halifax and Wyatt Mason IV designs by Quail on discord. Tahini Poinsettia design by me]

[theunsubtleknife]

I miss the Charleston shoe thieves so much

[cha0s-boyy]

the jammy decksetter that lives in my head

[ID: two cartoony digital drawings with colored lines of Jammy Decksetter from Blaseball. she is depicted as thin and lanky, with brown skin and black locs that go back away from her face. she is wearing red wrap-around sunglasses with shiny yellow-green lenses, a pink crop-top tank, low-rise pink camo cargo pants with white patches on the knees, and pink velcro sneakers with chunky white soles. she has two belts, one olive one white, and a loose strawberry pattern tie. in the first image she is also wearing a black trenchcoat with a red inner lining. she is posed leaning back with one arm straight down and the other held across her body to hold up two playing cards between her fingers. she is smiling. /end ID]

[doctorwhoisadhd]

which dr who characters i think would be a fan of ur favorite blaseball team:

Atlantis Georgias: Yasmin Khan + the entire Paternoster gang. Yes including Strax

Baltimore Crabs: easily Owen Harper. he has the exact personality of a character the crabs would create

Boston Flowers: Gita Chandra (she's literally a florist) + probably Martha Jones

Breckenridge Jazz Hands: Cleo Proctor! Shawna Thompson and Abby McPhail would be there with her too

Canada Moist Talkers: Wilf I think?

Charleston Shoe Thieves: it'd be really funny to put 8 here but no. Chang Lee, 3

Chicago Firefighters: both Ryan Sinclair and Graham O'Brian

Core Mechanics: Luke Smith

Dallas Steaks: Dan Lewis and Rhys Williams

Hades Tigers: LEELA i don't even know leela that well but she would ABSOLUTELY be a tigers fan

Hawaiʻi Fridays: 8, Osgoods, also by series 10 twelve would be a friday

Hellmouth Sunbeams: River Song

Houston Spies: Mickey Smith (spies fan since season 1), Rani Chandra

Kansas City Breath Mints: Clara Oswald, 7

LA Unlimited Tacos: Andy Davidson

Mexico City Wild Wings: Ianto Jones (bc of the lawyer stuff and pase lo se pase)

Miami Dale: Clyde Langer and 15

New York Millennials: Ruby Sunday

Ohio Worms: 13

Philly Pies: Alan Jackson (bc he skateboards but doesnt quite have fridays energy)

San Francisco Lovers: Jack Harkness (duh), Grace Holloway (duh), Amy Pond

Seattle Garages: Fitz Kreiner, early 12, Ace McShane

Tokyo Lift: Toshiko Sato (also she would have spreadsheets so automated they could make you a cup of coffee)

Yellowstone Magic: Bill Potts, Maria Jackson

[whales-are-gay]

saw someone wearing a charleston shoe thieves shirt and i asked if it was a blaseball shirt and a third person said “is that the ai baseball game” and we were both like NO it’s NOT ai

[quinncinerated]

MY PROGENY

Heyo everyone, it's been a bit (mostly because I forgot), but I'm back with more fun findings from the Blaseball testing data!

During Short Circuit 2, there was a blessing, TASTE THE INFINITE, that allowed for Teams to pledge themselves to a Shelled One, and be remade in their image.

Turns out, in testing? More than a few teams took on this mantle to varying degrees.

Behold, your Charleston Shoe Thieves CHARLESTON PEANUTS.

Being the sole team that underwent a full rebranding under a Shelled One's guise, all of the players on the team don't seem to have any adverse results from such a thing.

Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for the other teams that they had to play against, or more specifically, the Miami Dale. In this test, two players of the Dale found themselves Shelled: hitters Paco Glacier and Ralfie Specter.

Outside of this team, there were a number of other teams that carried the Honey Roasted distinction - one LA Unlimited Tacos, and two Yellowstone Magics both saw fit to champion the cause, but not enough to change their names.

Until next time!

[estrogenmccormick]

Hey what team you a fan of

THE SHOE THIEVES. THE CHARLESTON SHOE THIEVES. I DON'T KNOW ANY OTHER TEAMS. I THINK??

WAIT.

NO, I KNOW ABOUT THE BREATH MINTS.

THEY'RE MY SECOND FAVORITE. BUT I'M A SHOE THIEVES FAN. HOW ABOUT YOU