i saw hozier live in concert last night, so i’ve been thinking a lot about his music which in turn of course makes me think of payneland, and as i was looking through the genius annotations of his song “i, carrion (icarian)”, i realized how very payneland it is. so here’s an analysis/thought process on that. i’ll be including screenshots from genius dot com to aid me (sorry if it’s a bit all over the place this was originally me yapping to a friend through voice memos)
trigger warning ‼️‼️ for child abuse btw, i talk about charles experience with his father quite a bit in this post
so as i was reading the annotations pictures below, i came to the realization that edwin is the sun to charles’s icarus . which set me off in this whole messy tangent to explain why i think this.
jumping right in:
charles doesn’t even realize he’s dead until he sees his own body dead on the floor of the attic. and this is because he was so distracted by edwin’s kindness and companionship. and While he’s with edwin, he’s always trying to be happy and he’s always got this smile on his face. and it’s not that he’s necessarily in denial about his death, its that he’s not sharing his feelings and grievances, he’s not talking about them like he should be, he’s pushing all of that down, which could potentially be his downfall. charles is so distracted by edwin, enraptured (thank u @b-dwolf ) by him really, that he doesn’t even realize that he himself is not doing well.
annnnd the fact that daedalus, icarus’s father, is leading icarus into these situations, he’s pushing him to do these things that are getting him hurt, which correlates to charles’s father abusing him.
continuing on:
…..
charles dying because of the freezing water and it should’ve been brutal, and it was, But because edwin was there with him it was less painful, more gentle, and as he’s dying, he accepts that fact and leans into the love and light and warmth he now gets to feel forever with edwin.
they both save each other from falling too far they’re constantly saving one another and picking each other back up or making the fall less painful just by loving each other so deeply and irrevocably.
so like basically, payneland defies all these tragic love because they’re so in love .
there are so many myths and stories of characters who were like them, but they didn’t make it out alive/together. and while, yes, charles and edwin are both dead, they are still together and that’s a testament to how close they really are and how much they love each other. even in death, they will not be separated. and when their relationship is threatened, neither of them will accept the “inevitable” damnation. they fight and fight and they make it out together each time.
continuing on:
in the song, hozier kind of references the god atlas, who holds up the sky/the world, while talking about his lover or whoever he’s talking about in the song. so he’s saying that his lover holds up His sky, His world, and in that, it makes him feel weightless, or they soften his fall. and (if i’m understanding the annotation correctly), hozier is also saying that is lover would drop the world in order to stop his fall. (please correct me if i’m wrong here because it’s confusing me). and thinking about it, edwin really does carry such a heavy weight on his shoulders. like the “they have to matter!” scene…..
so onto charles’s father being daedalus:
daedalus’s warning to icarus about flying too high equating to charles’s father potentially (probably) “warning” charles about the dangers of the world and being queer in said world but simultaneously being the one to hurt and abuse him and put him on the path leading to his death by sending him to the boarding school.
and then icarus not listening to daedalus’s warnings/charles defying his father by being who he is and fighting for whats right which gets him killed. but his death isn’t as horrible as it should’ve been because edwin was there alongside charles, comforting him, and it almost makes dying worth it in a way because at least now he’s with edwin, his sun, his guiding light, the one who holds up his whole world now. and then after death, charles prioritizes edwin and everyone else above himself, which could have lead to his damnation, to them losing one another, but he said Fuck that he will not let those tragic stories define them, he will not let them be separated no matter the cost.
they are the exception to the thralls of tragic love stories.
another lyric “if the wind turns, if i hit a squall, allow the ground to find its brutal way to me” … charles thinking that he’s not worth the love he receives from edwin/not worth the “trouble” it takes to love and care for him, and not wanting, but Needing, edwin to just let him go and save himself and the world over charles, if the moment came where edwin had to choose between him and others. charles needs edwin to survive (well. yknow what i mean.) because he knows he wouldn’t fare well without him (just like hozier’s song “fare well”…).
hozier also mentions atlas in his song, movement, where he compares his lover to “atlas in his sleeping” (in his sleeping bc he has to be so careful and graceful as to keep holding up the skies). he also compares them to fred astair (pictured below), except here he says that his lover is unlike him in the way that his lover moves and acts more organically, unlike astair who is very showy. and while yes, edwin is definitely a show off and puts on a mask for others, charles see past this and knows who edwin is deep down, knows that he’s graceful and lovely and kind. (he also sings later in the song about how his lover is more than what they seem on the outside.)
hozier also talks in this song about how his lover moves him, shapes him to be who he is, to live more organically. so with that. putting charles in hozier’s place: bc edwin is charles sun his guiding light, as i stated before, edwin inspires him to be better than his father before him. now of course charles never Wanted to be his father, in fact he’s always trying not to be, but edwin helps charles understand that he could never be his him bc his father didn’t care about hurting people, meanwhile charles does everything in his power to be kind and help people. edwin even tells charles that in him actively trying not to be like his father, he is already so much better than his father could ever be. i could go on about “movement” and about how payneland it is but i think that ones more obvious and doesn’t really need too much explanation imo.
also in movement. “i could never define all that you are to me” and charles not knowing how to define him and edwin bc it surpasses that of platonic and romantic feelings …….
SO! in conclusion hozier wrote “i, carrion (icarian)” about payneland (along with many of his other songs) because how else is it so accurate to them??? crazy
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Art References for Chapter One of underneath the sunrise (show me where your love lies)
(aka this is the nerdiest thing I've done for this fandom)
Landscape with the Fall of Icarus, Pieter Bruegel the Elder, c. 1560
"Monty didn’t know what it felt like to fly through the air, the wind between your wings, the sun kissing your skin, until now. He didn’t know what it felt like for the wax to burn away and melt itself into your skin, searing your flesh, until now.
And he didn’t know why anyone would risk such a thing until now.
Until them."
The Two Fridas, Frida Kahlo, 1939
"How the fuck is Monty supposed to reply when he finally has the thing that he’s ached for so long and he can’t even enjoy it? When his heart is ratcheting up his throat, a ticking time bomb that Frida Kahlo would adore?"
Garden of Earthly Delights, Hieronymous Bosch, 1490-1510
"Monty is being torn apart in the hell panel of the Garden of Earthly Delights. He is some abomination that Bosch dreamed up to fill the inferno, to be tortured for all eternity, because both of the only two things that Monty has ever loved are being ripped from his trembling fingers by his mother and used against him, just because she can’t handle the fact that he wanted something, anything, to call his own."
Textiles of South Asia (Fictional Exhibit, but here are photos of the clothing in question)
"But mostly, Monty spent his time drinking in Edwin’s knowledge, the way that that he went into professor-mode when explaining the symbolism behind certain artworks. Monty devoured the bits about artwork that Charles knew about, like a discussion in the Textiles of Southern Asia special exhibit where Monty had the privilege of seeing Charles get excited explaining the differences and purposes of lehengas and saris and sherwanis. The way that though they were surrounded by masterpieces, all Monty could stare at is the two muses in the middle of the room, holding hands, more breathtakingly beautiful than any of the painting surrounding them."
Lehenga
Sari (Maharashtraian sari)
Sherwani (Painting of the last Nizam of Hyderabad)
Snow Storm, J. M. W. Turner, 1842
"His fingers catch under Monty’s jaw, guiding Monty’s mouth to his like a brushstroke of lightning hitting the mast of a J. M. W. Turner ship, all storm, all sensation"
I will post another archival set for chapter 2- we've got plenty more coming!
@deadboy-edwin @icecreambrownies @anonymousbooknerd-universe @ashildrs
@tragedy-machine @just-existing-as-you-do-blog @orpheusetude @mj-irvine-selby
@pappelsiin @itsbitmxdinhere @rexrevri @sweet-like-h0ney-lavender @saffirez
@the-ipre @sunnylemonss @days-light @agentearthling @helltechnicality
@sethlost @catboy-cabin @secretlyafiveheadeddragon @vyther15
@anything-thats-rock-and-roll @queen-of-hobgobblers @every-moment-a-different-sound
@nix-nihili @mellxncollie @tumblerislovetumblerislife @lemurafraidofthunder
@likemmmcookies @wr0temyway0ut
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"This is a glitter free household." Remus told him awkwardly.
Charles' eye flickered between the two. Child and mother, he knew them to be, and yet found himself astounded to recognise the similarities. The curve of Remus' smile and the draw of their brow.
He sighed apologetically, "I... I'm sorry. I didn't know."
Maria clicked her tongue, "How could you? Even the most desperate tabloid wouldn't publish it." She chuckled, arms drawn across her chest, "Hell, I wouldn't even post it on Twitter."
"That means something. She'll tweet anything." Remus chirped.
Charles nodded, dismissing them in a motion.
"Wait," He said, "Can we go back to 'No-Glitter-Household? Why? Are you... I don't know, allergic? Can you be allergic to glitter?"
"I don't think so." Remus replied, puzzled.
Maria calmly ignored them, "There was a bit of an issue a few years ago... Involving the cat-"
"And a lot of glitter." Remus cleared their throat, "I still find it in the carpet sometimes."
Charles allowed himself one harsh breath.
"Okay." He said. "Alright. That's normal."
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