#changed my mind im posting it now lol
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FIRST REAL POST ON THE PONY BLOG: A MODIFIED MAGIC SYSTEM >:D
in equestria, all magic can be traced back to 5 core elements, and 2 "super elements": light & dark magic, sky magic, earth magic, and crystal magic, alongside harmony & chaos magic.
LIGHT MAGIC, alongside DARK MAGIC, are 2 elements that hold dominion over all that falls outside of the sky. these 2 split off into fire magic, shadow magic, and (when both are harnessed via chaos magic) transformation magic. their respective pony races are kirin and batponies.
SKY MAGIC is what forms the atmosphere surrounding the planet equestria is found on, and is responsible for all weather on the planet. sky magic does not have any known submagics, but it does have one pony race; the pegasi. hippogriffs used to be a sky pony race, but their transformation into seaponies changed their sky magic into earth magic.
EARTH MAGIC is what flows through everything attached to the surface of equestria, & the earth as a whole. its most commonly-known submagics are plant magic & water magic. its main pony race is earth ponies, but you can find its magic in multiple other races(though to lesser degrees) as well.
CRYSTAL MAGIC is found in places with high concentrations of magic, typically forming crystals in the area. its used mainly to harness & contain magic in items as well as ponies; as crystal ponies show off in their magic retention abilities. it is also the only kind of magic capable of whithstanding magic-draining spells.
HARMONY MAGIC is the glue that keeps all other magics in working alongside one another. it splits off into the elements of harmony and(alongside light magic) rainbow magic. harmony magic is also necessary in the creation of alicorns, requiring one pony to accumulate a variety of different magics into themselves and also hold themselves together long enough for harmony magic to form & the transformation to take place.
if harmony magic is the glue that holds all magic in place, then CHAOS MAGIC is the solvent that breaks those bonds. when there is a lack of magic in a single place, all other magics in the area rush in to fill the void which often results in different magics clashing against eachother, forming chaos magic. when a pony gains chaos magic, they often end up lacking the abilities their race is supposed to have & sometimes gaining new ones. the "pony" race associated with chaos magic is the draconequus, a pony who contained & maintained a large amount of chaos magic on top of a variety of other magics to transform themselves into something unrecognizable. as of now, there has only ever been one succesful transformation, as its very easy for a pony to explode from the sheer pressure of that much magic in 1 body.
#owo whats this#mlp#mlp fim#my little pony#magic system au#<-good enough au tag i just thought up lol#had this post sitting in my drafts for a whilleeeeee so glad its finally typed out :)#ill prolly queue this & use the time 2 type out the pony races post since if got a semi shitty diagram i wanna clean up & show off#yea that sounds good#changed my mind im posting it now lol
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I truly cannot believe Scylla when she says ladies never come to her shows. Hell—not even when you lured mortals? You're telling me you never drowned a single woman? Bullshit.
And on that note, a hades protag has never been less relatable than Melinoë's distaste for Scylla. Catch me belting along with every battle. Odysseus knows what's up.
#slight side note but i really didnt like his design when i first saw him. or his voice#it was 100% that epic: the musical design that everyone draws that i was just so used to seeing#now? i do really like him#ive been got by the getter of all time who could have foreseen this#and they really dont know how to miss with the soundtracks huh#i get to rock out for an entire boss fight. i get to hum along the whole way through that region#mel and i clearly got very different tastes in music#zag would vibe so hard with this shit change my mind#hades game#hades#hades 2#hades melinoe#melinoe#hades scylla#scylla#hades odysseus#odysseus#hades meme#hades 2 meme#sea plays hades#not used to tagging for video game meme posts lol#im sure the more i make down the line the lazier ill get in the tags
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My angel, my pride and joy, my beloved AKA the Good Hunter Ruza lmao 🧡 ft. Her Lost Chikage and her fun outfit from these screenshots! + some lil headshots of her in the Yharnam Hunter Garb, a look I also care Deeply About ✨️
#sin scribbles#bloodborne#good hunter#good hunter bloodborne#hunter bloodborne#bloodborne oc#bloodborne oc ; ruza#(ITS DONE CAN U BELIEVE IT I SURE CANT!!!!)#(yes. i repeat. this was largely inspired and enforced by me playin d/m/c5 again. LOL.)#(look.......is it my fault my favourite games happen 2 both be about monster hunters with cool swords???)#(anyways whatever AHEM *shuffles notes*)#(i do rly like ruza in the knights garb tbf its fun and flashy. especially in game where everything is dark af)#(very fun to draw. but i prefer her in the actual hunting garb so THATS WHAT WE STICKIN WITH.)#(at least for now idk my mind changes like the weather sis thats largely why i havent given her a new ref sheet)#(or posted her new bio bc tbh im cursed!!!)#(as soon as i post a ref or a bio i immediately want to change it all. so. i just wont LOL)#(if yall still curious about her u can just send an ask or a dm or smth i dont bite 😂)#(this was supposed to be a sketch sheet can u tell i lied deceived played myself to filth)#(bonus cainhurst armor look bc i love that set SOOOOO....much)#(watch out yall sin is back at it with her nonsense cloth physics again)
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salutations of peace!
welcome to this blog dedicated to the many, many thoughts wondering in the expansive meadows of my inner mind. we have:
fandom rambles
OC galore and random lore dumps
deep life thoughts TM
excerpts of books ill never write
memes, awful puns, wordplay my beloved, rants about anything and everything
music and art and language appreciation
vivid descriptions of things that would put ebony dark'ness dementia raven way to shame
and so much more! my vision for this blog is essentially a scrapbook of sweet wrappers, weird poetry, dried flowers, inexplicable blood drops from untraceable source(s), cute little doodles, coffee stains, all tied together with glitter glue and skull washi tape ^-^
so feel free to sit back with some snacks and watch me as i take apart my mind thought by thought and have epiphanies and shit :)
*:・゚✧ but before all that, a few things:
the name of this blog, Memento Vivere, is latin for remember to live. you may be familiar with its more morbid counterpart, Memento Mori, remember you must die. the reason for this choice of phrase is that due to reasons, i sometimes have to remind myself to stop and live, to really smell the roses, to appreciate my short existence on this spinning rock in space. so this blog will be my escape, my breath of fresh air, my cup of mint earl grey on a rainy january morning.
*:・゚✧ a lil about me lol:
british jordanian gen z hijabi, dont have social anxiety; social anxiety has me lol, sleep deprived, herbal teas, psychiatry
medical student, full time and life long learner, salty snacks are better than sweet treats there i said it, strawberry milk supremacy
chaotic academia aesthetic, cats, existential (and assorted) crises
main @lemedstudent2021 and oc blog @bright-side-of-the-moon feel free to drop by for a chat here there and everywhere ;)
*:・゚✧ general rules and guidelines:
this blog aims to be a safe space for anyone and everyone, leave your prejudices at the door or dont bother coming in :)
youre all welcome to share thoughts and ideas and suggestions, please keep it halal tho (so pg-13 and mild language). in the very least label accordingly so those yet with innocence stay safe
hate and bullying and disrespect in all forms will not be tolerated, bigots and brain dead buffoons will be blocked on sight
that said, for what remains of my sanity; zionists and anti-vaxxers DNI (i will come after you and your essential oils)
if i remember anything ill add it later, for now bring your marshmellows were making s'mores on the dumpsterfire that is life
art by the wonderful @sunshines-child ^-^
#pinned post#new blog lets go!#i sincerely apologise for the poor souls that stumble onto here expecting to find a single coherent thought or some context#lol nope#attempt at humor#my condolences#ill probably expand on my likes/ dislikes later but for now have 3.4 sentences#im also slytherin#whodve thunk#disclaimer#you *will* be exposed to chaotic amounts of idiocy so bear with me. sorry to those who know me irl/ out of tumblr lol#this is what you signed up for#and for brevity's sake#wheeze#ill go by nina#nina and the neurons#if you get the reference we are now friends#brilliant bodies was the best season change my mind#anyway#go forth and have fun#🍉🍉🍉
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aaaaaa
#this is becoming a realy bad issue ruining my life but i cant talk to anyone about it :(#even just it in the wild drives me crazy its so bad ...idk where to go about it#uggh...it really sucks. it sucks so bad. like i literally cannot do anything about it. even if i were to have someone i trust enough to#talk to about it its just so fucking...i cant tell anyone...SO im gonna be vague about it sorry x_x i know ppl get so curious#sorry im venting in the tags because i feel bad making an actual post#not like it changes anything lmao but it makes me feel better#i feel really bad venting on here but its kind of comforting. i wont do it again..or..often#i wish icould fix this. one tiny thing and it sends me into this like...spiral. it sucks. it sucks. its so embarrassing#its making my life a hell i try to avoid it as much as possible luckily its easy to avoid but when i come across it it HITS me#it hits me. like right now. i hate it. and it hits me and it makes me realize how bad it really is and it takes up my mind for hours#like seriously? out of every problem i could have why is it this lol#i wish i knew what was wrong with me.. i dont think its normal..but oh well#sorry for venting im fine ill try to not do it again or at least go in depth like this. its just. ruining my life i have to get it out-#-in some way even if its vague like this. i dont know if this makesm e feel better even#i think im pmsing lol which probably makes it a bit worse so im fine#venting on tumblr is so embarrassing but i just. no one i trust i can talk to about this. this is all i got#sorry for clogging ur dash lol#i wish i was normal -_-#thunder roars
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just wanted to share this vid again bc like. i am STILL obsessed w it to this day. i think about it so often
youtube
it was a speedpaint for a commission by the incredible @kiwi ... honestly my favorite commission ever. tbh. the way turnis and calabris are rendered is just. perfection, i cant stop looking. kiwi if u see this if i could commission u a thousand times over i would bc holy shit dude this brought me so much joy and continues to bring me joy even now
#i think i saw u make a post abt being unsure abt pursuing art anymore? and this post isnt meant to like#make u be like 'oh i change my mind bc one person likes my stuff' like nah im not tryna do that#u gotta do whats best for u of course#i just wanted to let u know that even if art isnt what u want to do anymore. u at least put a very bright and warm spot in my life w ur art#so be proud of what youve done up to now at the very least! and i hope u can be happy w what youve accomplished and created#again. if u dont wanna do art anymore then im still gonna support whatever u decide is better for u and makes u happy#bc youve at least given me something that makes me happy too :) and i want that for u as well#sorry for rambling at u in the tags even tho u might not see this LOL i just wanna show my love and support is all#love u kiwi#Youtube
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It took me, ugh, MONTHS (2), to get to cleaning the two shrimp tanks I have... I had IRL issues going on that would have made it extremely difficult to do a water change especially while injured, and I just had to keep putting it off. It's just shrimp, so it wasn't like, the worst situation, especially since I have established plants and the tanks are a couple years old. There was just a lot of algae build-up on the glass, and, well... Let me just say it was not contributing to my mental health and well-being while the tanks were in that state.
I tested the water before I started cleaning and the parameters were fine (like, I could have left the tanks even longer if I would be okay with selling my soul to the Algae Collective), and the plants and shrimp look fine, too (I mean, I've obviously been keeping an eye on the tanks bc I sit right next to them). Actually, I'd wager to say that the plants are looking really great (the lilies haven't died off [yet? This is the longest period of time I've seen them stay... foliage... fol... foliated? Idk.] and the cryptocoryne in the 10gal is fucking huge and needs to be rearranged, just not right now). That fucking algae was a motherfucker to get off the 10gal (it's a plastic tank and I think that makes the algae grip harder than the glass 5gal).
[Also, fyi, depending on the tank's needs and stability, recommended water changes are a small one every week or every other week. My parameters don't seem to do anything dramatic, so I usually aim for a 20-30% water change every third week (just depends on how much vacuuming needs to be done and how cooperative the shrimp are with moving aside). So 2 months is still a lot. I still did the normal 30% ish amount, since doing more will risk the shrimp's well-being if there's a sudden change in everything, and my water parameters indicated a change was unnecessary - but I don't test for more than the minimum freshwater tests, so there could be a buildup of some mineral I'm not testing for, which is why the change IS actually necessary regardless of what my test kit says - because these tanks were evaporating a lot in summer, it condenses the minerals added with each water addition, even tho I usually top up with R.O. water.]
My back is fucking killing me lol. It has been killing me since spring when it 'went out' for the first time, and I'm not getting any relief, it sucks. But this had to be done.
The 5gal is looking pretty cloudy still, since the filter was super gunked up and I accidentally spilled gunk back in, so I may need to retest the 5gal parameters tomorrow just to make sure I don't have to do another water change, but it'll probably be fine, right? Shrimp love mulm and detritus. I did give both tanks a big ole algae tab for their trouble, tho. (I need a fuckening dish for the big tank. I really wanna clean off that white quartz rock again, but being white means it's an algae magnet, and it's just gonna go green again after a month or two.)
Anyway, shrimp tax:
I lov thees widdle oange bebies.
Wish I could take better pictures rn, but I am. Like. Dying. My recommendation: never live in an A-frame style room if you have the option. The wall above my tanks is slanted, and NOT fun for my back to bend underneath the wall for maintenance. (My only flat wall in the room is for my TV/PC.) Also, treat your back nicely, in general. I unfortunately have not had the option to treat my back nicely since spring (fall now), because 'when it rains it pours,' and heavy shit that needs to be moved will not move itself. Once I get a few more things in my room in order, I will hopefully be done with the IRL chaos, bc I have Halloween socks to knit, and I'm not putting that off for another year. (I'm still mad that I couldn't make the ones I planned last year. And I found more Halloween yarn I forgot I bought, so I'm gonna try to make multiple socks.) And I just really need to fucking chill and knit and stop having panic attacks and meltdowns.
#me earlier today: oh i should bleach my hair since i havent been able to shower for 2 days it wont damage it as much#me now: i dont know if i can even stand long enough to shower after this#anyway im gonna try to eat something and then shower and pass tf out.#maybe i shouldve taken a before picture to show how much i did...#...but i do Not want to remember 'that one time i didnt do a water change for 2 months' the algae was gross lol i couldnt even get it all#but honestly idc ab the back wall having algae as long as the front and most of the sides are clear#seriously the algae was textured like sandpaper tho. does algae do pearling? if it does then its calcium buildup too#edit while typing bc i looked it up. yes algae pearls. so the bubbles it was making were drying enough to cause calcium deposits#oH also lmao i found the tiniest pinch of hornwort left in the 10gal. idk why the hornwort doesnt like that tank but its hilarious that...#...that one little fingernail sized piece is still alive floating in there. i stuck it next to the lily but the shrimp will prob dislodge it#the hornwort in the 5gal is just freefloating i cant get that shit to stick#the shrimp love that stuff and they look like little birds in a pine tree#im in so much pain im procrastinating food lmao 'order pizza' crossed my mind but my jaw wont let me eat pizza so fml#anyway. just wanted to show an accomplishment even if its not a praise worthy one since i didnt go the extra 10 miles to water change sooner#awwww tho i love seeing them glide around the tank and now i can see them clearly its so chill#shrimp#aquariums#crustaceans#bugs#Cori.exe#Post.exe#Image.exe#also my therapist started cracking up this morning when i said like 'i can finally rest now tht i dont have a Saw trap bathroom to navigate'#seriously tho it was bad and then another issue in the bathroom came up 2 days ago but theyre both fixed now. my br is normal now.#im not normal tho (normal for myself i mean) and unfortunately thats not gonna be an easy fix but im trying#man can i ever make a post where i dont type a million words lmao. inability to focus and then i start typing more stuff#oh ab the hair bleach man my roots are so dark i just trimmed off the last of the bleach from last time so i got 2tone hair rn#idk when ill get to that. dependsnon my back. i already wasnt in a great state of being when i did the aquariums but i needed to clean them#ok i rly need to try n make food and shower before i start growing algae on myself
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I think my favorite comments I get on my art are:
It looks like illiterations from a kids book
It's very "shaped"
And people tagging it as watercolor when I actually use pens and alcohol markers (and try desperately to make it look like watercolor haha)
#i also just love when u post something from a random fandom and u get all the fandom related icons and usernames#i think thats v fun. idk im trying to b in my recovery arc lol so thinking positive thoughts#i guess thats easy to do now but im due to lose my mind in the next few days bc it seems more and more like im#v sensitive to hormone changes. im already super tired for no reason. dont make me tired make me hypomanic. i prefer that#its way more fun to be losing my mind in a positive direction. i mean theyre both not great but ya kno#unrelated
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mum was asking for a cdrama to watch for the first time in years. and the only condition she had was "no guzhuang" 😭 ... unlocked a repressed part of my memory when i was more modern dramas than guzhuangs (lol who was that?? what changed me?? actually, hlht, i think) like mum like daughter really
#actually i think my last memory of us properly watching the same drama is shanshan... which has been 10 years wtf#also when shanshan is a reason you're watching cdramas you'll have a special relationship with modern cdramas#(i grew up with mythological cdramas but... shanshan was the real gateway)#my mum and i are the anti-thesis to intl cmedia fandom lol#i still love my 职场 workplace/modern romance tbh. unfortunately 90% of them suck#but i rly have became so much more endeared to guzhuang looking back now. it used to be more like it's ok but i dont actively seek for it#so much has changed and also not much at all#also the first thing that came to my mind was 救星 for the rec 😭#btwn me 疯狂安利ing 救星 to several ppl and literally on my 3rd zsx drama this year. ppl are gonna start thinking im a zsx fan#what.#my posts
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#U Have No Idea How Much I Miss Her.#i need to start actually drawinf again its been a hellish 6 months#its really easy to just fall out of the habit of it#i used to obsess over never being someone who just suddenly stopped drawing for weeks/months#it scared me. like a core part of my identity would have to change for that to happen or would be changed by that happening#and then once i didn't draw and wasn't drawing i felt like i needed something to violently change about myself to get me to start doing it#again. but i didn't need that i just drew something again and that was it. like that stretch of time didn't happen#drawing is just an activity you can choose to do or not do and there are no consequences for whatever decision you chose to take but it felt#so serious to me it is like i viewed it like death#which i was right about in a way but mostly in how death is just a thing that happens and that it wont be that sudden and insane#you will just be and then not be just like how you weren't and now are. its just like me drawing or not drawing lol#but that comic of ht papyrus by jnpie where he's looking at the puzzles he used to make and wondering if he'll ever do that again. or if he#wants to. its like that feeling. it always sticks in my mind#i have like a fear of thinking about when i will no longer care about something i care about now and its so weird when. realize i stopped#wanting to do something and caring about it and. i feel nothing on account of no longer caring about it lol. but i know that past me#is currently looking forward at me now and terrified. this is unrelated to that comic a lot but its like. thinking about how i will change#words#mine#IM NOT TAGGING THE ART bc i wanna actually finish some of these pieces tbh and like they are just the backdrop for my thoughts...#feels so hashtag tumblr to talk to yourself about some vague ass feelings or situation that no one else will look at ugh thats like#The tumblr experience. but i love reading other's personal posts and tags though..
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never in my life did i think i need to makeout with a piece of software so badly but here we are i guess
#lizzy speaks#OK IM BEING OVERDRAMATIC AND I WOULD ELABORATE BUT I NEED TO SLEEP BUT#DO YOU EVER JUST#FUCK !!!!!!#IVE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY TO COME ACROSS A PIEC EOF SOFTWARE#i need to fiddle around with it some more but everything ive seen about it is MIND BLOWING to me#ive been waiting my entire life for this moment i think#i feel like it's funnier if i don't say what the software is. i wanna be mysterious so bad but i cannot shut the fuck up#literally been suffering through notetaking and organization softwares and im like ohh i think i finally found the one#this is the minecraft of sex i think its like wowza i can finally do all those writing projects i want to do#boys (me) don't want girls they want an organized database of notes that they can easily reference at anytime#sorry for being unhinged but like its like past midnight lol im sure i'll wake up in the morning and be like 'what the FUCK were you doing'#BUT!!! i think ill come back to this post to reblog it with like actual shit about the software when i figure out how i want to use it#i think everyone should experience joys in life. and sometimes that joy is having organized notes#bonus points if anyone can figure out what im talking about just from the tags alone i think this software will change my life#it has fucking tag functionality i literally love tags#sorry about the vocabulary but this rivals like. my love of spreadsheets. which are like. a wonderful thing i think but ANYWAY IM RAMBLING#anyways goodnight i wish you all on the dash a very lovely evening i just needed to share this because im so overjoyed right now o7#if you have a software that you really like thats changed you feel free to tell me in the tags or something :) i like learning new things
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Guys why is rain world so good (<- rewatched some scenes and teared up on all of them)
#rat rambles#rain posting#god man. holy shit. fuckkkkkk#rain world may not be one of my token big interests but god does it just hit me so fucking hard whenever I do engage with it#I also think after rewatching some stuff that my general takes on how rain world's world works have shifted a smidge#which is also giving me some more ideas for saint hcs#I feel like the biggest thing Im seeing differently now is the concept that the saint has no beginning or end#one big theme of rain world is the way that all cycles eventually come to an end#societies iterators and even the lives of the animals that wander about#theyre trapped but within these cycles they still move forward and eventually fade just like everything else#but the saint doesnt. they never can. in that way they are a paradox#for when even time itself eventually fades what becomes of the being who will never be allowed to slow in their decent?#overlapping onto themself infinitely until what is and isn't them becomes irrelevant#have they lived many times or were they ever even alive to begin with?#at the end of the day they will never know. its a peace they wont ever find#as they are simply a lil guy who is stuck in a real mind boggling situation#anyways thanks pebbles dialogue for helping me get a better grasp on saint stuff have fun being dead buddy#it also makes me feel even worse for the echos because theyre likely in similar positions#not the exact same given Im sure none of them had the powers to fly and ascend ppl but still#in my minds eye tho theyre more themselves than saint is#for better or for worse#the rest of the echos are stationary. unable to move forwards or back#while the saint continues to spiral onwards and onwards in ways that break the very core of this universe#or smth like that idk. Im just rambling abt nonsense at this point lol#but yeah I imagine the sain to be both trapped and stretched across time#most things exists whinin cycles of cycles but the saint takes that concept to the extreme#most things much more so develop and change as time moves forward but the saint kind of just is#but like. is a lot. like there's a lot of them. but that them is stretched like super thin#they overlap themself and keep stretching to infinity#and with that sort of overlap it makes sense that in what conscious state they do have they simply experience each overlap eternally
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Gotta make a new profile picture because I wanna update this one to fit Riku's current look
#not much to change actually#just the outfit (i FINALLY have a distinct look for his uniform) and his hair!!!#yep my boy got a fresh cut#as much as i love the one in the picture#i saw this really cool hairstyle on youtube and it fits him so well (adjusted slightly)#plus it had always been in the back of my mind how similar it was to sylvains lol#so i feel like now he looks very distinct#still getting used to it in my style but its a similar look except the hair type is different!!#also sorry im so chatty tonight ive just a lot of energy and im bored waiting to be summoned#<- made two posts 😭
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Seasonal 'fits concepts!
#zu's art#pkmn bw#pkmnart#pkmn fanart#pkmn black and white#pkmn hilda#post bw/bw2#was going to be 'fits for my camping au thingy but then my brain changed its own mind#yes i have a camping au#that i kinda wanna talk abt in full but i dont know how to yet-#but basically its just hilda finally coming back home before very shortly after grabbing all of her friends to go on some camping#rv trailer thingy adventure#i plan to make it wholesome but-#y'know how i like my angst-#anyhoo- imma just shut up now lol#fanart#adult pkmn hilda design#character redesign#im so proud of this#pokemon black and white
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Ppl gotta understand that just bc you do x thing because you're mentally ill, doesnt mean your actions dont have the same effect if you weren't. Like if you've been manipulative to your friends, you cant get mad at them for not sympathizing entirely with you when you go on about how they dont accept you for your mentally ilness. Regardless of your reason, you were still manipualtive, you fucked with peoples trust. Theyre still gonna have trust issues about you even if its bc of whatever mental illness you have.
#im not saying its cool for them to abandon you but cmon. you have to consider sometimes other people and what they can handle#bc if you keep manipulating your friends or whatever theyre gonna get used to being manipulated and expect it from other people#whatever the case. people have limits. your friends have limits. im not saying theyre always justified. im not saying your friends are#never abliest. but they do have limits. and if you're yelling at them all the time about being perfect or whatever you cant exactly#be surprised when they dip out.#like for example. im a p aggressive and angry guy. clearly. if youve seen any of my posts.#ive always got something to rant about. and while im not quite as much like this irl its still a thing about me. im very very vocal about#whatever injustice i percieve happening to me or others lol. but i can understand why me being intense and angry and ready to throw hands#at the drop of a hat would make some people want to avoid me. i understand it makes some ppl feel scared and unsafe.#its not something i try to do. i dont try to make ppl i like feel unsafe. i try not to be that way around ppl w those kinds of issues#but im not gonna throw a fit and be like 'you guys are okay with bpd until i get really really angry and call you a cunt'#like... uh... yeah. i dont blame ppl like that for dropping me entirely if im getting angry all the time around them and it triggers them#and i dont seem to stop or be able to stop.#sure its not great. sure i dont want to be as aggressive and angry around anyone let alone ppl afraid of that sorta thing. but this is#the current state of my being. its something im working on. and i can understand why some ppl cant handle me right now as i am.#idk. just. shit like that man#another example. im hella hella HELLA bad at communicating via technology. unless you're in front of my face my mind just forgets we were#even talking sometimes. this naturally will cause issues. how am i gonna get upset at someone for being mad i stoped responding#in the middle of a conversation? sure i didnt mean it. this is purely unintentional. however that doesnt change the fact of my actions.#it doesnt change the fact that that person might feel unwanted. i can apologize day and night but until i actually try to be more attentive#of my phone this is just gonna keep happening yknow. how is it fair to get mad at other ppl for getting mad at you over that?
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@nightcrawlerzincorporated Exactly the point i was making with this post thank u 🥹💛
Season 6 // Season 16
#ive been fixated on this 4ever cuz i think its such a fascinating aspect of their dynamic!!!#but also to be fair like Tai said the twins couldnt even pull the plug on a nazi so BSJDBSNHS#i still think charlie manipulating frank and against the twins specifically is Very much baked in tho even now… and the PROGRESSION of it?o#watching Dennis Looks Like a Registered Sex Offender w this pov makes it SO interesting#i mean they also just straight up confirmed this in s11 w charlie changing the prescription on franks glasses#and i will bet u 100% that that is NOT the only case of this#like all the things where ppl are like ‘awww charlie does this for him…’ like the navigation tapes#cuz i think Yes it is coming from a genuine place. but also manipulative place of making frank dependent on him#and i dont want ppl to get it twisted like w the charden resentment stuff..cuz im not saying the two feelings CANT co eixst#they DO and thats what i find interesting but not a lot of ppl wanna talk abt the manipulative side nd thats fine but i rllyrlly do#doesnt mean the sweet genuine side isnt still apart of this. i just wanna talk abt this side of it Too#but also thats the whole subtext… how long until doing that for manipulation purposes becomes Genuine#its why they mirror macdennis!!! just different dynamics#im serious i think when frank moved in all of the bonding was initially a part of a still ongoing long con to get franks money#cuz that would fit w robs original vision of sunny HOWEVER i think its only gotten more interesting#bc charlie is now GENUINELY so emotionally entangled in frank that its way more complicated now for him#and thats GUT wrenching to me i want it so bad#i made that one post paralleling charfrank to [redacted] and no one needs to see that but i still stand by the general sentiment NSJDBEJ…#aaand… part of me wondered if Inflates was foreshadowing for The End..#charlie does this shit and bc hes loyal like a dog he did this for not just him but FOR THE GANG#and so theyre all excited abt that but charlie is just sort of lagging behind#i can see the scene so clearly in my minds eye#cuz yknow. charlie has come to represent the gangs Conscience in a way#s15 ily sm#[queue that post someone made post s15 finale abt charlie being the foundation ..yeah]#which is so interesting how far hes come from s1 to THAT#again i think there should always be room for both the sincere charlie and how generally manipulative he is#i think both can and Should coexist#esp since manipulation comes The Most naturally to him compared esp to someone like dennis#dee is much better but charlie is still The Best at it… thats why frank loves nd believes in him the most LOL
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