#change brokenheart love

[mechieonu]

haven't seen HH yet & my only real hope is that charlastor keeps whatever dynamic they had goin on

[mother-first]

You love me, just not in the perfect kind of way.

In the "it's been a journey" kind of way, not the "we'll fight through this together " kind of way.

The convenient kind of love, the one that costs you nothing but you still receive. The one where I still continue to give and you still continue to leave.

Mascara stains and highlighted scriptures. Cursing at the moon and looking at all of your pictures.

My lifeless body is layed in your hands. How did so much power end up in the presence of man?

Each day the octave of my voice is lower and lower. Nothing but whispers while I'm laying in bed.

Swaying like a sailboat whichever way that I'm thrown. There's zero grounding so I'm tossed to and fro.

Your pictures still cover the walls of my heart, I'm the dart board and will take every dart.

Silent, submissive, available and pruned. A broken down model left for something new.

New and shiny, charming and fun. I'll sit in the attick and collect dust and webs.

Hidden away with the old useless things. A glimpse of light shines in from beneath the closed door.

I see the glimpse, that there's something more. Something new awaited you when you left me to rot.

I hope that you find everything that I'm not. I'll stay here and sit where I promised to be.

That seasonal item people grab when they need. I wait for the moments I'll be looked for again.

Even when I know you're only coming to spend. Cash me in for the things I can bring to you then.

But each time you leave there's no telling when. When will you come back and see me again.

Only when the world isn't filling your cup. You'll come take from mine knowing I've been saving it up.

Saving up the small drops I can get. To give it all away to someone who left.

[allgoodnamesrgoneee]

Heyy could you do a Kylian Mbappé Imagine where they have a argument and don't talk to each other for a few days but with a happy ending?

Together, Always

Masterlist

𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 — Kylian has been neglecting you for a while and you've finally had enough.

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 — boyfriend!Kylian Mbappé x you

𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 — 2.7k

Warnings! ANGST, relationship problems, fighting, arguments, fluff, soft Kylian, sad Kylian, sad reader

It's been three days.

Three days since you've seen him. Three days since you had last talked. And three days since the huge argument that had resulted in you storming out of the flat, leaving him behind in a flurry of angry tears and broken promises.

You had never really argued with him before, not like this at least. You've had plenty of disagreements before, of course, but they were always just silly little things. This was different, this was about the heart of your relationship and the future of your life together.

When you had first met Kylian, back when he was still playing for Monaco, he had been so into you. He would call you up every day, take you out on romantic dates and hold your hand everywhere. And then he had signed with PSG and everything had changed. He had been too busy to go out on dates, too busy to spend time with you, too busy to do anything other than play football and go home.

And that had been okay for a while, you'd understood. You'd been happy to support him in his career, even if it meant that you didn't get as much time together. You'd tell yourself that it would be worth it in the long run, when he'd get more time off and you could spend it together. But it never happened, he just kept training and playing and going away on tours with the team, and you were been left behind.

You'd tried talking to him, you'd tried being understanding and supportive. But it just felt like he wasn't hearing you, like he was just humouring you until he could get back to his game. And eventually you'd snapped.

You stand in the living room, arms crossed, voice tight with frustration. "I don't understand why you can't see my point of view, Kylian."

Kylian, pacing back and forth, runs a hand down his face. "It's not that I don't see it. I just think you're overreacting. It was just one night out with the guys."

You shake your head, feeling disappointment again. You were so tired. Tired of being the only one to fight for this relationship. Tired of being the only one who cared. "It's not just about the night out. It's about every night. You said we would spend more time together, but you're always busy. I barely see you."

Kylian stops pacing, his eyes meeting yours, swimming in guilt. "I'm doing my best, but my career demands a lot. You knew this when we got together."

"That doesn't mean I should always come second," you reply, voice cracking slightly. "I just want to feel important to you."

He sighs, stepping closer but not reaching out. "You are important to me. But this is my dream, and it's not something I can just put on hold."

Your heart aches, and the room feels suffocating. "You know what, I think I'll stay at Sophie's place for a few days." You knew you shouldn't do this. Run away. You should talk about it. Get him to understand. But right now the room felt too small, he was too close, and you felt like you couldn't breathe.

So you're running.

Kylian frowns, reaching out to you, but you take a step back. "Baby, come on, don't do that. We can work through this."

You look up at him, tears streaming down your cheeks. "No, we can't. You don't want to."

You'd never seen him look so crestfallen. And you'd never felt so brokenhearted. But you'd done what you had to do. You'd needed space, needed to think and figure out if you even wanted to continue in this relationship. You knew without a doubt you still love him. Just as much as the first time you said it, if not more. But did he.

With the way he's been acting lately, you weren't so sure.

It feels like you're fighting a losing battle. And that was why you needed to take a step back, and try and figure out what you should do. Even if it felt like your heart was breaking.

He doesn't say another word as you make your way to the bedroom, nothing as you pack up your suitcase, nothing as you grab your car keys.

He doesn't say anything.

He just stands there, arms crossed, looking utterly defeated. You pause for a moment, feeling your resolve slip slightly. But you remind yourself why you're doing this, why you need to do this, and you turn and walk out the door. Closing it firmly behind you.

*********

The days since then had been quiet.

You've barely slept or eaten, and your mind had been a jumbled mess of conflicting thoughts. you can't help but wonder what he's doing. Is he still training? Is he missing you? Is he thinking about you? Do you even matter to him?

You push the thoughts away as best you can, trying to piece everything together, and get yourself under control. And you realised, you had no idea what to do. You wanted Kylian, you loved him so much. But he made it so hard for you to stay, to continue loving him.

You wanted him to be there for you, to care for you, to love you in return. But he made it so hard to feel like you were a priority.

It feels like you're in a nightmare.

How does someone get over the love of their life? Did you even want to.

Kylian is also trying to deal with the absence, though he is hiding his feelings well. He immerses himself in the matches and the training, hoping it will distract him from the void left by your departure. But it doesn't. Your absence is like a gaping hole in his life that he can't seem to fill, no matter how hard he tries.

The time without you feels like a lifetime, and it's the longest time you've been apart since you met. It's been a while since he's felt this lonely , this empty. He misses the way you always made him feel. The way you made him laugh, the way you made him feel so alive.

But more than anything, he misses the warmth of your touch. The softness of your skin. The way he could bury himself in your neck and feel safe. The way you could make everything seem alright. The way you could make all his problems disappear.

And now that's been taken away.

He misses it all so much, it physically hurts. His stomach twists with guilt and regret and longing. He wants you back, he needs you back. He hates that you're gone. Hates that he doesn't get to wake up beside you and fall asleep in your arms.

But he knows why you left, he can't blame you. He's been awful. He's been so focused on the football, on making it to the top, he hasn't made any effort with you. And it's not fair.

You deserve more than he's been giving you. And he wants to change that. Wants to be better for you, wants to try harder.

He wants to make things right. To make it up to you. And he will.

As much as he hates you being away, he knows it's for the best. You need the space and time to figure things out. And he needs to figure it out for himself too. Needs to learn how to be better for you.

He hopes that you'll forgive him, that you'll take him back and that you'll be willing to give him another chance. Because he wants one. He wants to prove himself to you.

*********

It's late evening when you receive his text. The first one in three days.

Your phone buzzes with the message, and your heart skips a beat. You take a deep breath, before opening the text app, and reading his message.

“Hey. I miss you.”

You let out a small gasp, feeling a lump form in your throat. It's such a simple message, but it feels like the most precious thing in the world. Your hands shake slightly as you type out a response.

“I miss you too.”

He sends another text immediately after.

“I'm sorry.”

You swallow hard, your heart jumping slightly at the message. It's the first time he's said it. The first time he's apologised. It's not enough. You want more. You want to feel wanted. You want to tell you that you're his priority.

“I know,” you reply, deciding not to make the first move until he does. You want him groveling for your forgiveness.

There's another pause before he sends another text.

“Do you want to come over? Talk things through?”

You hesitate for a moment, wondering if this is the right time. Wondering if you're ready to go back. To see him. But you need to know where you stand with him. Need to know if there's any hope for your relationship. And maybe, maybe it's time for you to be a bit softer. To make things easier for him. To let him show you he cares.

“Okay.”

You watch the three dots appear as he types out a message, before disappearing.

“See you soon.”

Three little words but they make your heart soar. You let out a deep breath, your nerves fluttering in your belly. You've never felt so anxious before. So unsure of the future.

What happens next? Do you stay together, or do you break up. Do you forgive him, or do you move on?

The answer lies with Kylian.

You can't help but wonder what he's going to say, what he's going to do. You're desperate for him to tell you that you're his priority. That he needs you. That he wants to try. That he regrets letting you go.

You want to hear that you're his everything.

And you want him to show it to you. Want him to prove it. Want him to be there for you. To support you. To love you. You hope that he does. Hope that he means it when he says he's sorry. Hope that he's ready to make amends.

Hope that he's ready to try.

You pull up to the flat, your stomach filled with butterflies. You haven't seen him in three days, and you're so nervous. But you know you have to do this. You check yourself in the mirror, making sure you're perfect, and then get out of the car.

The elevator is slow, but you're grateful for it. You need the time to prepare yourself. You take deep breaths, trying to calm your racing heart.

You're ready for this. Ready for anything.

When you step out of the elevator, he's already standing in front of the door. You feel your breath hitch as you see him. He looks different than he did last time. His eyes are red and his skin is paler. He looks tired.

He looks like hell.

You feel the urge to run to him, to jump into his arms and never let go. But you hold yourself back, waiting for him to make the first move.

He steps forward, “Hey.”

“Hey.”

The conversation feels strained, the air thick with emotion. You both know what's at stake, and you're both scared. You're scared of losing him. And he's scared of losing you.

He steps closer towards you, and you step back slightly. He pauses, looking at you sadly. “Do you want to come in?”

You nod, following him into the apartment. Your heart pounds in your ears, and your stomach twists with anxiety. You've never felt this nervous before. This scared. But you know you have to do this. You have to talk.

The living room feels small and empty, devoid of life. It feels like a tomb, and you want to run from it. Run from the tension and the pain that hangs in the air. But you know you can't. Not yet.

Kylian gestures for you to sit down, but you shake your head. “No, I'll stand.” Just in case you need to run again.

He nods, stading at a safe distance from you. “So…” he starts. “I don't know where to start.”

You take a deep breath, knowing that this is it. This is the moment you've been waiting for. “Just say whatever you need to say.”

He nods, running a hand down his face, stepping closer to you. “Okay.” He pauses for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts. “First of all, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I haven't been there for you. Sorry that I haven't been making enough effort. I know I've been focusing on my career, and I shouldn't have let it come between us. But it's not because I don't want to be with you. You're everything to me. You're my priority.”

Your heart skips a beat at his words, feeling a lump form in your throat. It's everything you've ever wanted to hear. Everything you've ever dreamed of. But you can't let him off so easily. You have to make him work for it. “How do I know you'll follow through on that? How do I know you'll actually make an effort?”

He smiles sadly at you, reaching out to grab your hands, thumbs caressing the back of them. “I don't expect you to trust me immediately. I've let you down before, and I don't expect you to forget that. But I'll prove it to you, I promise. I'll do everything I can to show you that I want this. That I want us.”

You feel tears prick at the corners of your eyes, your heart softening slightly. You want to believe him, you really do. But you're scared. Scared that he's just saying this to get you back. Scared that he doesn't mean it.

You look up at him, your voice breaking. “I want it too. But I need to know it's real.”

He steps closer, pulling you into his arms. “It is.”

You feel yourself melt against him, your heart beating rapidly. It feels good to be in his arms again. Too good. He holds you close, stroking your hair and back. “I love you.”

You feel tears roll down your cheeks, and you let out a small sob. “I love you too.” You sniffle slightly, looking up at him. He smiles softly at you, cupping your face. You smile back at him. Maybe this will work after all. Maybe he'll actually try. “I missed you,” you admit.

He pulls you closer, kissing your forehead. “I missed you too.”

You stand there for a moment, holding each other tightly. Feeling the love between you. And you know that this isn't over. This is just the beginning.

“Baby, I'm sorry." He apologizes again. "I was selfish and I didn't realize how much my behavior was hurting you. You deserve better than that. These past few days without you were horrible. I don't ever want to experience that again.”

You feel your chest tighten slightly at his words, and you pull back slightly to look up at him. “I do. But I know that you're busy, and that your career is important. It's just hard sometimes when you don't seem to have any time for me.” You smile sadly at him, cupping his face. " And I'm sorry too. I should have communicated my feelings sooner. I was so caught up in being hurt, I forgot to let you in.”

He nods, eyes soft and full of love as he looks down at you. “I promise I'll be the man worth your love. Just promise me if you feel bad you'll tell me right away.”

You nod in agreement, leaning up to kiss him. "I love you." you whisper against his lips.

"I love you too. " He pulls you back into his arms, and you know that things are going to be okay. You'll still fight, you'll still struggle. But it'll be together. And that's all that matters. You lean your head against his chest, holding him tightly. Knowing that this is where you belong.

In his arms. With him. Forever.

You seal your promise with a kiss and know that no matter what comes next, you're ready for it. As long as you're together.

-Bianca🌻

[blues824]

Prompt 30 with past Lilia if that is possible! And having baby Sliver there just clinging to reader🌸💗

~ @toconolaw | 🌸💗 anon

AWWWWW!!!

You requested: “Baby, It’s Cold Outside…” from the Fluffcember prompt list.

Preface: Reader is human, and is married to Lilia, and is female.

Lilia Vanrouge

Ever since your husband had found Silver in the forest, you had become the child’s mother. You had become the happy family you had always dreamed about, and you wouldn’t change anything about it, especially not as you are feeding a bottle to Silver and Lilia is sitting in the living room armchair in your cottage.

Silver was getting so big. Not too long ago, he had taken his first steps, and the bat fae made a remark about how he would be a fine knight for the young prince. Speaking of, he as well as Queen Maleficia were common visitors in your comfortable domicile. 

You snapped out of your thoughts when you looked at the clock, and you realized that you needed to get started on supper soon. However, you would need to go to the market to get everything you needed. You wanted to keep it light for today, so you were going to make grilled cheese sandwiches with tomato soup. You started writing a list, balancing the pen in one hand and the baby in the other, of everything you would need. 

“Darling, I need to go to the market to pick up a few things for supper. Please don’t burn the house down while I’m gone.” You stood up from your seat at the dining table, carrying Silver to Lilia and setting him in his lap. You placed a kiss on his lips as you headed towards the door, but you suddenly felt something tug on your dress.

You looked down to see Silver, eyes tearing up, clinging onto your skirt.

“No leave, mama!” He said before starting to cry. You picked up the crying child, started to shush him, and you got kind of irked at your husband, going to tell him off, but he was right behind you.

“Dearest, it’s snowing outside, and you could get lost out there. We will be fine without supper, as we have other food in the house,” He took the crying child from your arms, starting to rock him back and forth.

“But I wanted to make tomato soup. I know of your love of tomatoes, and I was going to make grilled cheese sandwiches to accompany it. Plus, it’s something for Silver as well, since he can have a bite of it and start to get used to actual food,” You pouted. However, you felt like standing your ground on the matter.

“Y/N, I said no. It’s cold out there, and the last thing any of us need is for you to fall ill. How will our son cope without his mother?” He lifted the baby’s face up to his, pouting just as Silver was, making your heart break at how brokenhearted he looked… Silver, not Lilia. Speaking of, the child started making grabby hands towards you, his chubby cheeks were so cute.

You took him into your arms, showering his face in kisses as he started giggling, and that’s when you noticed that your husband had placed his hand on the small of your back and started leading you back to the living room.

“You little piece of-” You started, but he placed his hand over your mouth to prevent you from finishing what you were going to say.

“Watch your tongue, dear~ We have a child in our midst…” He said with a smirk. He knew that you would prioritize the baby, as you wanted him to have the best upbringing that you could provide, and whenever you were angry at him, he would use the baby as a shield.

“Fine, you win. But only because Silver doesn’t want me to leave,” You were still pouting, but Lilia sat back down in his armchair. You thought it was all over, when he suddenly pulled you to sit in his lap. You let out a squeal of surprise, and Silver was laughing again.

“My beloved family, with my beautiful wife and my handsome son… What more could I ask for?” He said with a dreamy tone to his voice, leaning in to give you a kiss on the lips.

“...A grilled cheese…” You said with a pout, making him laugh, a beautiful sound to accompany your son’s babbling.

[z00oo1]

Collin and Penelope Fics

We Can't Be Friends by LovelyMagnolia

Penelope and Colin are two people who have never quite managed to get their timing right, but maybe all they need is one night to fix that. Modern AU

Yellow Dress by CassandraGoth

She wants only to secure a marriage that will allow her the freedom she needs to escape from under her mother's thumb and continue writing. But the unexpected return of a traveling gentleman and a sizeable bounty placed by the Queen to unmask a troublesome author.

A Wallflower's Bloom by Enganda

"Are you mad? I would never dream of courting Penelope Featherington." Brokenhearted from the words she heard from her childhood love, Penelope Featherington had decided to change her ways and prove herself worthy of being loved.

A Pound To A Penelope by FirstLadyJane

After having spent the off-season licking her wounds, Penelope comes back to Mayfair a pragmatic woman determined to take control of her fate. She's on a mission to cement her spinsterhood and accept a standing job offer in Ireland.

The Great Stage of Fools by lottielots11

Penelope is finally engaged to the man she has loved for most of her life, and she could not be happier if it wasn't for the secret which hangs over them. And with Colin's reluctance to even discuss Whistledown, how will they ever overcome their differences in order to marry?

Scattered Flowers by Cortlandia33

After her fallout with Eloise and hearing Colin's declaration to never marry her in front of the entire Ton, Penelope left high society and found a cottage in the country. Now, almost three years later, her choice comes back to haunt her when a certain someone begs for her forgiveness... and her heart.

the last one in your corner by my_middle_name_is_awkward

Penelope cannot agree to marry Colin because she knows Eloise will not approve

Kintsugi by Metamorphases

Watch as Colin Bridgerton goes to increasingly mad lengths to keep Penelope Featherington safe and sound (and away from other suitors).

Dark is the world's night without you my love by angellus08

Penelope meets someone from Colin's past and her old insecurities crop up.

Affection by lixabiz

Colin returns to London for the Season of 1815, hoping to reconnect with his friend Penelope - only to discover that everything has changed between them.

Attachment by lixabiz

(Set post S2. Some elements from the S3 synopsis, but not a prediction fic.)

Butterfly's Reverie by CassandraGoth

What might have changed had Penelope told Colin privately that her cousin Marina Thompson was with child? Not an easy scandal from which to untangle himself without the public protection of Lady Whistledown’s society papers.

Foolish One by LeighAnne_Balsdon

Colin announces his engagement to Marina and Penelope doesn't take it very well. She makes a hasty decision to run away from Mayfair, to save her broken heart. When Colin and Eloise find out that Penelope is missing they decide to look for her themselves. What they find, however, is something no one was expecting.

One of us has got to change by itsjustabee

Colin and Penelope accidentally wear matching outfits to the Bridgerton ball

My Give a Fucks are On Vacation by SuzyH_82

It’s just a pity that for the last three years, she’s also been Colin’s ‘friends with benefits’ friend. I mean, it’s not like Colin could ever want a relationship…technically he already has a very public girlfriend…his fellow presenter Marina, on his travel log TV show. However, after their latest hook-up, Penelope overhears Colin talking to the press and realizes Colin is never going to see her as anything more than a friend and she finally decides to move on with her life.

i chose this cyclone with you (my heart exploding) by Vryalys

Well perchance it is I who do not wish to marry you any longer,” she hissed furiously at him, her eyes prickling as she moved away from him to the farthest end of the coach bench. She pulled at his mother’s ring from her finger, where she was sure it no longer belonged. “I will not marry a man who loathes to even look at me.”

The Disappearance of Penelope Featherington by hippiechick7897

Penelope Featherington leaves the many scandals of her life behind to start anew while Colin desperately searches to find her and bring her back home. When they are reunited, Colin finds a threat he had not anticipated and wonders if he's too late to secure the affections of the woman he's just realized is his love.

Violet's Fifth Daughter by kermitthefrogstanaccount

Penelope faints at her and Colin’s engagement dinner and Violet gives a piece of her mind to Eloise about continuing to love Penelope after everything that’s happened.

Ruin by Sea_Dragonfly

Colin wouldn't remember the details of what his mother told him next. He would remember her hand warm on his knee, her eyes wide with concern, her voice gentle as velvet. All of it in stark contrast to the devastating news she shared. Penelope was ruined.

Dishonest Conquest by lilyeval

Colin is such a gracious helper, he ruins Penelope’s every opportunity with her suitors. So protective of her honor, he even lets himself into her very private bedroom.

Just Having Fun by Spartangal22

When Eloise arrives home from Scotland, the very first place she goes is to see her best friend and brother in their home. And since they’re family, the rules of social etiquette need hardly apply. Why should she bother knocking?

her mother's daughter by secretlydelighted

the story where Lord Debling's son is courting Agatha Bridgerton and Colin is not having it, because why is another vegetarian all up in his business?

Meet Me at Midnight by Sevens11073003

Or eight times Penelope runs into a Bridgerton on the way to Colin’s room + the one time she runs into Colin on the way to bed.

have my back, yeah, every day by my_middle_name_is_awkward

Colin had very little patience for Cressida Cowper before he and Penelope were engaged. Now, he must make it clear that he will not tolerate her comments about his soon-to-be wife.

Unreliable Narrator by WhiskeyTinCup

Eloise has a lifelong habit of overreacting to Penelope's love life and everyone knows it, even if she refuses to acknowledge it.

I Do Not Want To Stand By Your Side by magentaverse

She didn’t need a love declaration. She certainly didn’t need him to sign his life to her. She just needed his love. A few smiles and his willing ear. But Colin Bridgerton did what he did best—he changed the course of her life the moment he muttered, "I do not want to stand by your side, Penelope Featherington."

Best Laid Plans meet MissCarriage by sanoiro

Or The unconventional birthing place of - the fated to be Adventurous - Miss Agatha Bridgerton...

Why do fools fall in love by NomDeJeen

Now that they are married, Colin wants Penelope to *win* the heir race with her sisters.

Benedict offers some unexpected advice.

It goes about how you would expect.

of manmade tales & honest lies by cchampdelevande

just saw someone asking "what if penelope finds out she's pregnant right after the lady whistledown fight with colin" and i genuinely think shonda is not above torturing us like that

Newton vs The Bridgerton Men by Lovelymagnolia

In which, Newton figures out Penelope's pregnant before she does, Colin develops beef with a dog, and a longstanding battle between Newton and all the Bridgerton men is unearthed.

Cracks by Vellinae

It’s a winter of firsts for everyone. It’s Colin and Penelope’s first winter as a married couple. It’s Penelope’s first time putting on ice skates and venturing onto the frozen lake with the entire Bridgerton family. It’s Colin’s first time watching the ice crack, just barely out of reach, and seeing his wife disappear into the murky water below.

At Least It Wasn't A Duel by SugMak

When Penelope sends Colin out of the house so she can focus on his journals, he hears Fife and the Toxic Lord crew talking about Penelope's breasts. He doesn't take it well. He's not particularly looking forward to her finding out about it.

Tintiddle Talks by goddammitfandom

Anthony ruins a wonderful family picnic by bringing up Colin's past indiscretions. He gets answers that somehow make him even angrier.

Tried to Pick My Battles 'Til the Battle Picked Me by headphonesbaby

Colin always seems to find an issue with Pen's boyfriends

I Wish You Knew by threefundamentaltruths

 which Colin and Penelope ran away together to escape the queen's wrath.

Visiting A Farm by ancoraimparo_youknowwho

Eloise is back from Scotland and eager to meet Her bestie. But things start on a very wrong note because who the hell does THAT to their wife??!!! Right??

uh-oh i'm fallin' in love (oh no) by stolemystarl17

Colin didn't stop the proposal at the Queen's Ball, but he can stop the banns.

grieving for the living by itwasglorious

Penelope marries Lord Debling and Colin cannot watch. So Colin leaves and Penelope settles into married life. A year later he returns.

Stand By Me by Musicalmidget

Penelope has been keeping another secret from Colin but upon see his family together at Francesca's wedding, she decides it's time to tell him and her plan for Lady Whistledown. This is a continuation of the scene from the study and will continue until the epilogue.

An Honorary Bridgerton by My_middle_name_is_awkward

The Bridgertons have always loved Penelope Featherington as if she was one of them.

Of course, they are all ecstatic that Colin will be making her an official Bridgerton, instead of just one of honorary status.

Scraped up off the pavement by missparker

After Penelope falls out with Eloise over her popular gossip blog, all the Bridgertons cut contact with her. Penelope moves to Scotland and buys a book shop and gets on with her life.

That is, until she spots Colin Bridgerton at the coffee shop next door.

Catch & Release by TonyStarksAngstyHeart

Everyone develops a tiny crush on Penelope as they wait, betting of course, for Colin to pull his head out of his arse.

Spanning 1803-1821

P-E-To-The-T-T-Y by jerrymander

Colin may be coming to terms with Penelope’s family but that does not mean he has forgiven them for their slights against Penelope.

Plenitude by HaveredSolitude

Colin and Penelope are faced with difficult decisions when complications arise during the birth of their baby. With the help of their family, they navigate through memories and feelings, confronting adversity with the strength of their bond.

[animeniac-writings]

Remembering MC - Obey Me

What if while MC is in the past changing history and being a major part of their freshly-fallen lives, the present boys start to recall that?

Not everything, still mostly forgotten from happening so long ago, but while the boys are frantic trying to find any way to get you back or where you even went, worried and miserable, maybe they start thinking about all the good times they had with you.

From when they met you, to everything that has happened since. But something...there's something else they're almost remembering. Like an itch about you, then it's faded memories that don't seem right.

Too old, they can barely remember, in a time they all wished to forget. But suddenly, you were there. To help them, to comfort them,

Surely it's Mammon who gets this first. He hasn't stopped thinking about you for a second, crying on your bed and wishing you would hold him again.

He remembers you in the beginning.

He races to Lucifer, tear streaks still on his face and yelling that you were there, his words are jumbled but you weren't there, you couldn't be. But he swears you were.

He's brushed aside, everyone is trying their best and brokenhearted and now Mammon has started creating his own ridiculous memories to see you just a little more.

Then the others start having it. While they tried their hardest to forget the fall, the suffering when they reached the Devildom, memories that you created with them aren't like that.

They didn't spend thousands of years trying to ignore and forget that, and suddenly Mammon doesn't seem so crazy.

Lucifer tries to deny it at first, but he has the best memory and as thoughts of long past suffering fade and there's a clarity that now includes you-

Sure not even he can remember all that happened, that you've now changed. But he knows you; he aches to feel you activate his pact, for his soul to reach yours.

And he breaks down. Locked away at his desk with his head in his hands he cries.

He wants your back. They all do, losing you is something he doesn't believe they could all come back from. Eternal punishment would be losing their MC for good.

But somehow you're stuck in the past, and even after all you've already done for them, fixing their family and helping each and every brother, accepting their love and requests for more- and he laughs while tears drip down his face.

Because of course- of course when faced with them in the past, broken and lost and what they all would have considered their lowest points- you're doing your best to help them once again.

[odyssean-flower]

How do you think Neuvillette will react to being rejected?

Prepare for some terrible weather for the next decade or so

So I think Neuvillette would be heartbroken. He thought he'd finally found someone who he can share romantic bliss with, the kind he sees in all the couples in Fontaine, but alas, those hopes are now dashed

Neuvillette, someone who internalizes like hell and is self-admittedly not good at showing his feelings, would not show much emotion when you reject him. He'd be like "okay" but it would probably start pouring out of nowhere. He probably made it a beautiful sunny day to confess to you too

I think he might ask you the reason for why you rejected him, and would be like "I can change" but if it's something that can't be changed like his job or who he is, he'd just sigh and nod in understanding, it's something he'd always expected in the back of his mind

Afterwards, our dear chief justice will become even more reclusive than before. He avoids all public gatherings in the fear of possibly running into you and opening up those wounds. If you go to the opera to watch a trial he won't preside over it. He probably buries himself with work to distract his mind from thinking about you all the time. Everything reminds him of you ("that flower? That's just like y/n" "that book? Y/n would have loved it...")

I don't think he'd try again, but let's just say you get into a relationship with some scumbag criminal. That would actually make him mad. He can accept it if your partner was a good upstanding citizen, but that person? Really? There's only one way to fix this: kidnapping and confining you to his house! He's definitely doing this for your good and not because he's jealous or anything! Not at all!

He'd probably apologize a billion times for scaring you, but not for the kidnapping. As for your partner, don't worry, they are "safely" underwater (interpret that how you will)

Bonus: after the rejection, he curls up in bed like a brokenhearted schoolgirl and is surrounded by the melusines (who knew about his feelings) who are trying to comfort him by bringing his favorite stuff like idk water or something

Speaking of melusines they probably follow you and report back to him about you. Whether or not he ordered them to do that is up for interpretation

[jajanvm-imbi]

You know there's actually something I really appreciate with how Lucifer is depicted in Hazbin.

Everyone thought he was gonna be this intimidating king who crushes Charlie's dreams. We all thought he was gonna be a sadistic rebel or something.

Instead, Lucifer is just a brokenhearted dreamer who's heart is too big for his own good. Just like Charlie

He wasnt a "rebel", he wasn't "evil", he didn't want to harm anyone. He just wanted to share the beauty of being truly alive with mankind, and he was cast out. He was cast away because the angels feared what they couldn't understand.

When Charlie tried explaining to her father her dream, he said everything he could to discourage her not because he didn't believe in her but he really just wanted to protect her from the soul crushing rejection he experienced. He was afraid for her

And there's something so painfully realistic about that fear.

As someone who's grown up in the church, and who's parents eventually became the pastors of the church they grew up in, I cannot tell you how terrifying the idea of being rejected by those you love is.

All of the most important people in my life are at this church. They paid for my Sweet 16. They were there when my grandparents died and my parents had to go on emergency trips to Costa Rica. They were there when our house got flooded and my family was homeless for 3 months. They threw my parents their 50th birthday parties. They went to my brothers highschool graduation. They went to mine. I'm grateful they're in my life.

But being the type of person I am, someone who isn't afraid of interacting and being friends with those the church deems as "dirty sinners", someone who would charge headfirst into spaces most "good Christians" would be too afraid of touching with a stick, I'm terrified of what I think is the inevitable future.

I've always know I wasn't meant for ministry like everyone expects I should be. I'm not meant to work in exclusively "Christian" spaces, and I have no desire to. My parents keep trying to tell me to use my career for Christian specific projects and I know that's not my purpose in life. They would never say it but I can see it on their faces that they fear I'm gonna "stray from the path of God" for pursing the career I've dreamed of since I was a kid.

How do I begin to explain to them that this is God's path for me? I know it is with all my heart. One day I'm gonna move out and fulfill my purpose in life and ultimately be rejected by the people who I consider my family?

I know there will be people in my life who will never understand who I'm meant to be, and my heart breaks thinking about it because I don't want them to be afraid of me. I haven't "changed", I'm just finally who I was always meant to become. I know there are gonna be people who think I've sold myself to "the world" or something, how do I make them understand?

Luficer says: "Heaven never listens. They didnt listen to me..." and my heart clenches

Charlie says he cant know that and Luficer says with tears in eyes: "I DO" and my own eyes fill with tears

Lucifer sings: "My dreams were too hard to defend" and I feel that deep in my own soul.

Some of us were meant to be rejected for what we're meant to do, and rejection is the biggest fear of every kid who's grown up in the church.

Hazbin isn't perfect, I will never claim it is, but GOD is this depiction of Lucifer something special. What other character can perfectly show what kids who grew up in the church feel?

[xximpressions]

The Duchess (2)

Anthony Bridgerton x Duchess!reader

Series Summary: After coming into a title you did not expect, you have a chance encounter with a handsome rescuer.

Chapter Summary: You have another chance encounter

Word Count: 1,743

A/N: Yup! This is happening! I plan on five chapters for now, but I honestly love this idea so much that I could extend it way out depending on the comments I get, so let me know what you think below! :)

Bridgerton Masterlist

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The greenery of the park was an enjoyable sight to see as you took a leisurely stroll by yourself on such a sunny day.

With your gaze full of the stretching grasses, towering trees, and manicured bushes, you found that you were easily lost in a serene daze.

It was only when you noticed an unexpected pop of blue amongst all the shades of green that your mind slowly came back to reality.

Squinting, you tried to make out what the pop of blue was as it fluttered in the wind on a low hanging branch.

Reaching up and pulling it between your fingers, you held the object out in front of you and saw that it was a beautiful silk ribbon.

You were about to wonder who it might belong to when the sounds of an inconsolable child reached your ears.

“No! You do not understand, Daphne! Mama will never let me have another ribbon again!”

Turning your head to see a little girl now openly crying nearby with two other people trying their best to comfort her, you cautiously began to make your way closer as the one you assumed to be Daphne spoke in a kind voice.

“Oh, I am sure that is not true, Hyacinth. Mother will be nothing but understanding if you have misplaced your ribbon.”

But the child only shook her head in fervent disagreement as her sobs continued.

Having finally neared the group of three, you tried to be as gentle as you could when you opened your mouth and said,

“Excuse me, Lovely?”

Speaking directly to the young girl, you waited till her cries had slowed into sniffles and she looked your way with brokenhearted eyes.

“I saw that this matched your dress perfectly and wondered if it might be yours?”

With a friendly smile, you held your hand out for her to see what you were holding and got to watch as her expression changed from devastated to astonished within a second.

“My ribbon!” She happily gasped with disbelief.

After hurriedly taking it from your grasp and giving it an inspection, the child looked back up to you with a bright grin on her face as she said,

“It is mine! Thank you!”

You waved a dismissive hand as you kindly responded,

“Oh, it was my pleasure, sweet one.”

Pleasantly done with your task, you were turning to walk away when you suddenly heard,

“Wait!”

Looking back, you listened as the now enthusiastic girl said,

“My name is Hyacinth! This is my sister Daphne and her husband Simon.” She said while pointing at the nearby couple.

Turning back to you, she eagerly asked,

“What is your name?”

Charmed at her genuine curiosity, you smiled as you introduced yourself.

Recognizing your married last name, the one called Simon began to speak.

“Ah, I was an acquaintance of your late husband. You have my condolences on his passing.”

You gave a customary nod of thanks while his wife proceeded to sympathetically say,

“Yes, mine as well, Duchess. I know how difficult it can be to rejoin society after a loss. If you are ever in need of a listening ear, I would be happy to fulfill that role. Especially after you found my sister’s ribbon.”

Touched at the kind offer, you were about to reply when the aforementioned sister gave a surprised gasp and looked at you with wide eyes.

“You are a Duchess?!” She incredulously asked. “Daphne is a Duchess!”

Unable to contain her sudden glee, the once crying girl started to jump in place as she asked,

“Are you in need of a husband?? My eldest brother says he is in need of a wife, and I think you would be perfect!”

While Daphne said Hyacinth’s name in reprimand, you were trying to hide your bashful and humored laughter at her childishly audacious question.

Immediately brushing off the other titled women’s attempt to apologize on her sister’s behalf, you decided to give an amused reply to the girl’s inquiry.

“Oh, is that so? And who might your eldest brother be?”

Without hesitation, Hyacinth proudly announced,

“Anthony Bridgerton! He is a Viscount!”

Without another moment’s pause, her eyes started to dart around in search of something as she excitedly said,

“He is here today! But where has he gone to?”

When her small stature failed to help in finding her brother, the Duke and Duchess of Hastings also began to look and only stopped once they noticed a sizable number of females crowding one man.

While they both smirked to themselves at what they saw, it was the Duke who inevitably explained with a touch of cheekiness,

“That is Anthony being surrounded by all the other women who want to become his wife.”

Following his gaze with your own, you had to stop yourself from freezing in place as you recognized the person he was pointing out. 

Because with a thrilling flutter, you realized it was your handsome rescuer from the ball.

As you continued looking, you saw that Simon had not been exaggerating when he said the one called ‘Anthony’ was being surrounded.

There must have been at least half a dozen Mamas and their daughters trying to get the attention of this apparent bachelor. 

Admittedly, you could see why.

But before you could dwell on the sight any further, Hyacinth let out an offended sound.

“But they cannot be his wife! I did not choose them!”

As you looked back at her brother clearly struggling across the way, your mind quickly came to a decision about the situation.

Giving the young girl a reassuring smile, you said with a playful seriousness,

“Then we must do something now, mustn’t we?”

Without waiting for a reply, you began to make your way toward the mob-like chaos.

You allowed yourself close enough to the fray to be heard before you politely called out over the pushy chatter of this season’s debutantes,

“Lord Bridgerton?”

All the talking ceased when Lord Bridgerton’s head turned and his eyes locked with yours.

Seeing the recognition on his face, you hoped you were not too bold as you continued by saying for the sake of your audience,

“Were we not to promenade through the park today?”

Phrasing the question so he could refuse your help if he wanted to, you saw the immediate gratitude shining in his eyes when he caught your meaning and did not.

“Yes, we were!” He happily agreed in reply.

As he started to give his regrets and apologies while smoothly extracting himself from the crowd of silently stunned ladies, he kept flicking his eyes back to yours as if to ensure you would not disappear until he was securely next to you on the sidewalk.

Wanting to put some distance between the mob still watching and himself, Anthony was only too glad to offer you his arm as he escorted you away.

Once you were safe from being overheard, Lord Bridgerton quietly admitted while keeping to a leisurely stroll,

“I did not expect to see you again.”

Given how your second meeting had come about, you could not stop yourself from giving a coy smile as you shrugged and said in response,

“You looked like you were in need of rescuing from where I was standing.”

Because you were facing forward as you both walked side by side, you did not get to see the humored smirk on Lord Bridgerton’s face as he recalled saying those exact words to you. 

But you did get to listen as he replied in an amused tone.

“Merely a matter of perspective, was it not?”

Glancing toward you as he asked this question meant you each caught the other’s gaze when you happened to look his way as well.

Only being able to hold the staring contest for a few moments, you and the Viscount wound up letting out small chuckles of laughter seconds later. 

After collecting yourselves, you continued to walk in a comfortable silence that was broken when Anthony decided to ask,

“So how are you?”

When you looked at him with surprise, he briefly cleared his throat and followed up with,

“It is just that I could not help but wonder how you were doing after the ball?”

Not wishing to think about that night or the drunk who ruined it, you were quick to say,

“I am fine, thank you.”

While flashing him a reassuring grin.

Somehow unconvinced, Anthony hesitated for a moment before proceeding to say, 

“I also could not help but to wonder why that man was trying to attack you at all?”

Huffing a small sigh at the question, you responded with a rueful smile on your lips. 

“And I am afraid you will have to continue wondering.”

Pulling away in order to face the Viscount, you switched to a more formal voice as you decided it was time for this interaction to come to a close.

“Lord Bridgerton, while you have my gratitude for what you did that night, I would say that we are currently even. So, I think it best that we go our separate ways from now on.”

With that said, you gave a polite smile as you dipped your head in goodbye and started to take your leave.

But you had only just made it past him when a bold question stopped you in your tracks.

“And if I disagreed?”

Pausing, it took a quick second for you to understand the implication of his words. But once you did, you slowly turned your head to look back at your former rescuer and saw the sincere expression of a simmering challenge.

Stuck in his gaze, your eyes mimicked a challenge of their own as you slyly replied with a smirk now on your face,

“I was unfortunately not asking for your opinion.”

And turned to continue walking away.

Anthony could only watch as your figure moved further and further into the distance before his approaching eldest sister caught his attention.

“Brother? What was all that about?”

Still in a state of complete intrigue, Anthony was honest when he responded by saying,

“I am not sure.”

As his mind began to whirl at the thought of needing to see you again in order to find out, he turned toward Daphne after being struck with a brilliant idea.

“But we are going to throw a dinner party,” He said, now smiling. “And I very much look forward to getting an answer.” 

Previous | Next

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Tag Policy: If you wish to be tagged in this story, you will be required to leave a comment for each chapter you are tagged in. A comment is considered to be any kind of feedback you can give about my story (a detail you noticed, a conversation you liked, a scene you enjoyed, etc.). Please do not ask to be tagged if you are unwilling to follow this rule. If you do ask to be tagged, and fail to follow this rule, you will lose access to my story. Please note: Comments that are made up entirely of emojis or key smashes do not count. Leave a thumbs up (👍) in your tag request to let me know you have read and agree to this policy in order to be added.

[jaehunnyy]

Seonghwa headcanons - He needs a partner for the family dinner

Genre: fake dating, fluff, acquaintances-to-lovers

Word count: 1k

Pairing: Seonghwa x gn!reader

Warnings: mentions of drinking, mentions of a forced relationship, kissing, time skip, a shitty ex, possible grammar mistakes

a/n: happy belated birthday to my love @starrysvn! i hope you will accept this gift from your secret santa; im sorry it took quite a lot and ik it might be a bit rusty, but i made it with love so i hope you will enjoy it 🤍❄️

☆ To say Seonghwa was stressed was an understatement—the boy was devastated the moment his lover (better said, ex) broke up with him, right before the Christmas dinner they planned with his family. 

☆ There he found himself, trapped in the dirty abyss of overthinking as he tried to find a way to make it through—though it seemed quite impossible. 

☆ All the people who could have possibly helped him have already left to the comfort of their homes, leaving him alone in the campus; or so he thought, before an idea snapped through his pretty head.

☆ He knew from a friend that Y/n was never leaving for Christmas due to how far they lived, so that meant that maybe they were still around the campus; and as bad as he felt for having to ask you this as you didn’t really know lots about each other (you were simple acquaintances due to some common friends you two shared), he decided that maybe it wouldn’t hurt to ask. 

☆ He had always admired your beautiful soul and your bright eyes, but his ex didn’t really let him approach you due to the unnecessary possessiveness they felt over Seonghwa (and still, they had the heart to leave him). 

☆ You were throwing a little concert in your room, dancing and singing quite loudly to try and make your holidays a bit more interesting; little did you know they were about to be the most interesting ones in a while. 

☆ You heard a knock on your door, wondering who the person who dared to bother you from your daily routine was—and as soon as you saw a halo of blonde, ravished hair in front of you, you started to get more curious. 

“Seonghwa? Shouldn’t you be home since like—a day ago?” 

☆ The boy shrugged, an innocent, playful smile stretching the corners of his lips, stars beaming at his beautiful, dark eyes. 

“Change of plans? Kind of spontaneous? Are you in for a challenge?” 

☆ His giggles filled the hallway with so much joy, that despite knowing there weren’t people around, you pushed him inside your room like you were scared to get caught in the middle of a dirty act. 

“Did you drink?” 

“Just a shot—for courage, you know.” 

☆ His warm smile flashed before your eyes again, and you were kind of invested in hearing the challenge. 

☆ You had a tiiiiiny, silly crush on him, mayhaps—cause his beautiful smile and warm persona absolutely didn’t go unnoticed by you; though you were still in your denial phase. 

☆ You gesture that he could start telling you his dramatic story, so he began to tell you about the partner who left him brokenhearted right before the holidays, and how he needed someone to go home with, as promised to his parents. 

“Can’t you just tell them the truth? Things would get pretty nasty if they found out you lied to them.”  

☆ Truth is, Seonghwa just wanted to prove himself capable in front of his family for once; he had two months to bring someone home and present them to his family, otherwise they would just throw him in the claws of a person he didn’t know—for business proposals. 

“Please, just consider it. I need you, please. You are my last escape.” 

☆ Maybe considering it didn’t sound too bad, regarding your current situation—you wanted to spice up your own holiday, so would you prefer drinking and staying on your campus, eating ice cream alone for the New Year, or pretending to love a very handsome guy and have a bit of fun? 

☆ The latter surely sounded like the best option. 

☆ As for the acting? You weren’t scared; you were quite sure someone who can’t read through their son’s own needs and preferences won’t be able to see behind your fake heart eyes (maybe they weren’t even that fake, to start with). 

“So, when are we leaving?” 

The tall guy jumped in happiness, giving you a discreet hug before giving you more information as an impulse for you to pack faster. 

☆ His house was as cozy as it could be, the beautiful, warm Christmas lights making you feel all fuzzy inside—you missed your own home. 

☆ His parents seemed like good people (despite trying to set him off with a random someone, claiming it was for his good), and you could see where their son got his genes from; they were absolutely gorgeous. 

☆ You couldn’t help but cringe a bit when his dad took your hand into his and kissed it, happy to finally meet his son’s (fake) partner; yet it all went away when Seonghwa held your other hand comfortingly, giving you the boost of confidence that you needed. 

☆ His mom was looking as if she knew that something was going on, a pretty smile plastered on her face while looking at the two of you. 

☆ The rest of the night went smooth, full of little chatters and chortles as you found them effortlessly funny; but also full of little timid glances shared between you and your fake boyfriend.

“How much time do you think they need until they fall in love completely?” 

☆ His mom asked his father, laughing while watching the two of you sip your hot choccies in front of the fireplace. 

“They will surely realize how real their fake situationship is quickly.”  

☆ His family adored you so much that Seonghwa started to believe his real partner would have messed everything up—so he took having you by his side as a sign. 

“3, 2, 1, Happy New Year!” 

☆ The loud, happy cheers of everyone around you resonated through your ears as the fireworks bloomed into the beautiful night sky. 

☆ You looked in Seonghwa’s direction, just to see him already looking back at you—plump lips slightly parted and eyes focused on your own. 

“Is this the moment where we kiss?” 

☆ He giggled, cupping your face and nodding at your bold words. 

☆ He pressed his soft lips on yours, and you felt like they were made just for you—like Cupid’s final touch to the red string attached to your souls.  

“Is it too soon to say I don’t want this to be fake anymore?” 

“Kiss me one more time and you will find out.” 

☆ Seems like you found your second home, in the arms of the not-so-fake partner of yours.

[pht-art]

Eloise Bridgerton : my thoughts

I don't know how to feel now that I've watched Bridgerton because at first I was so happy to have finally found a character that I relate to and thatseems like me, but I see a lot of people hating her and never liked her since season 1. They doesn't like her because she seems to be rude and selfish and only cares about her well-being and is arrogant but I absolutely don't find her like that and I still adore her. So now I feel like if people find me, they just wouldn't like me. 😂

Here's my thought about Eloise :

I'm sure deep down Eloise wants a relationship with someone, like a real connection, a soul connection. She sees the true picture of society and doesn't want a relationship based on lies, the hypocrisy, the arrangement and forced meetings. She is bored and does not feel in harmony with this society.

With Theo, she wasn't bored, he was a great positivity for her and she felt accepted by him for who she was and not for who she wasn't, when he told her all those bad things, she was hurt because she's not like that.

Lady Whistledown harmed something that made Eloise feel good outside of Penelope and her family. She needed something that would change her from her daily life, that would make her feel alive and Lady Whisltedown took that away from her, insulted and humiliated her.

Of course, when she found out it was Pen, she felt deeply betrayed and hurt. What she did to her really hurt her deeply, she was lost, betrayed.

What Eloise did with Cressida was because she wanted to hurt Pen, she got to know Cressida and realized her situation, she tried to help her but the moment she saw that her brother could have been even more hurt than herself, when she understood that Colin loved Pen to the point of asking her to marry him, she focused on what was most important to her, her family, but she also felt betrayed by Colin, everyone lied to her.

I remind you that she is the only one who went to those who are not like everyone else, Theo, Cressida, which shows that she cares about everyone but no matter who you are, her family will always comes first. She didn't said anything to colin about Pen not because she is selfish but because as she said " I was too brokenhearted to speak of it". In fact it's the fisrt time she is that honest and show her vulnerability. You can see it on Colin's face.

The fact that she is the only one crying during Polin's wedding is a proof of her loyalty and her deep love for the few people she lets enter her heart. She was happy for her friends and her brother after all, she is loyal and a very deep person but her anger and sadness took over and she listened to Kate's advice indeed.

Maybe, and I INSIST ON maybe, she would like to experience that too. When she says "and one's again I am left with the fact that everyone eventually pairs off" I see it more as "why everyone else and not me", it's subtle.

When she says "Just tears from losing another friend to marriage or maybe it was dust", that's HER HUMOR, she is happy for them, she stays true to herself , she may not want to show even the slightest hint of her thoughts.

Benedict told her "Love is not finite Eloise, the friendship you have with Penelope is a lucky thing, as is the one you have with Colin," Benedict is the one who knows her best. She limits her love to what she already knows and the unusual scares her.

I have the impression that Eloise acts like this not because she hates love but because she refuses to love and I think that's because of her father's death and the betrayals she had. She don't want to lose control over her emotions and she is selective (it's not being selfish). She doesn't want to suffer.

Eloise is VERY witty but behind this mask, she is REALLY reserved, very sensitive and does not like to show her emotions and feelings, ( that's why she is disgusted when she sees couple showing love to each other) which is why she uses sarcasm, black humor, ironic phrases and humor at any time.

When they start talking about her feelings, Eloise looks away and changes the subject, always talking about Gregory, so we can no longer focus on her.

Benedict understands her very well, that's why he talked to her during the wedding reception. She is absolutely not childlish, it's her personality and it's her strong shell to not show she feels lonely.

I am so much looking forward to her season just to see how she would be and how it will turn out and to know if I was right. 🙃

It’s quite funny because after Eloise my favorite character is Benedict. The character which I identified the most with has the same favorite as me.…

[mother-first]

Two words, "I do".

I guess they didn't mean the same thing to you.

Pillow screams and jars of tears.

I'm living out my greatest fear.

Where we were called to be bloodline breakers, we are playing in the devils hand as a partaker.

One sided love and a made up mind, no second thought before you left me behind.

Praying to God to change the scene. Despite there being a reoccurring theme.

Selfishness and wrong priorities.

Knowing to you I'd always be the minority.

Why am I content knowing you'd settle? Feeling no more worthy than a meaningless petal.

Does he love me? Does he love me not? Disposing of each petal in this desolate lot.

Pick up those pieces you sad little girl. Look in the mirror, force a smile and give me a twirl.

Glossy eyes and broken smiles, familiar to when you hit the floor full of tiles.

Screaming, cursing and pleading with God. Feeling each promise was almost a fraud.

Needing my faith to be my life support, but shame and guilt remind me how I'm falling so short.

No glimpse of hope, no joy and no light. There doesn't appear to be any end in sight.

Lord please help my unbelief, my marriage will not be destroyed by this relentless theif.

I may not be strong, be brave or be right. But deep deep down I'm believing your insight.

You always work everything out for my good. You know my heart and prayers and your word says you would.

I'm choosing to stand on faith and not on sight. I'm believing the God of miracles in all of His might.

Lord I surrender my marriage to you, Yahweh do what only you can do.

Bring beauty to ashes and dry bones to life. Reconcile this husband back to his wife.

All for your Glory we will testify all our lives. Where you restored love where all we could see was strife.

I thank you Lord for all that you'll do. I speak to you fear, and every principality attached, I bind you to hell where you'll never come back. Hallelujah God of miracles, when you're presence comes we are freed from all shackles.

[raayllum]

He should hate her.

She's done terrible things. Nearly squeezed him to death. Slammed Callum into the rough seabed floor, spelled them to sleep, murdered Ibis and left Zym brokenhearted, aided her father's every plan and whim, left Soren, declared "I'll destroy all of you if I have to," eyes spitting fire amid the dark waters of the sea. She's been just as bad as Viren with none of the single moment of good, so doesn't she deserve the same fate? The same lack of mercy from him? Shouldn't he hate her the way he'd hated her father?

Ezran thinks he does hate her, as Claudia stares up at him from on her knees, hair choppy and entirely white, shackles around her paper-thin wrists.

They can't send her elsewhere under banishment, kingdoms too ravaged by what had resulted from her setting Aaravos free. To keep her in the dungeons long term feels cruel to Soren in ways it hadn't even with Viren, while he and Opeli had deliberated on what could be done with him longterm, what the best form of execution would be.

But in the end, Ezran's mouth twists, and all he orders is, "Take her to the dungeons."

Rayla scoffs from beside him. Callum sputters. "What? Ez, you can't be—"

But Ez turns away. He doesn't want to look at any of them. "I gave my orders."

Claudia must pause by the door, the way she did the last time he'd shown mercy (when execution hadn't even been on the table), as she mumbles a quiet, tired, "Thank you, Ezran."

"Ezran," Callum starts, but Opeli or Barius must shoot him a look, because he brother shuffles off, muttering with Rayla—unhappy, but leaving it for now.

Only Soren stays behind. His voice is thick. "Ezran, uh..."

And Ezran hugs him because he thinks Soren needs it, and maybe because he needs one, too.

Because he wants to say he did it for Soren, and Soren alone, because that's the acceptable answer. Motivation. Want. Soren and Claudia can still be tied, tethered, in love to one another because they're brother and sister, and—She is leading our people down the wrong path, Prince Karim had said, but she will always be my sister—that will always be true. Nothing can sever it.

But Ezran also knows, with his eyes screwed shut—

Claudia's hand on his shoulder as he'd mumbled out, "My Dad..." and her steady reassurance, the warmth of her next to him as he'd sobbed in her arms, comforted and not alone as he felt the weight of the world and his grief break over his shoulders

—that he did it for himself, and for the girl who was with him when no one else was.

No matter how much they've both changed.

[epickiya722]

As much as I would have loved for Kenjaku and Yuji to have more interactions, another part of me now actually liked the little interaction they had.

It's just as tragic, if not more tragic. But also it goes with the idea that Yuji doesn't know his parents or more of his family.

The most he knows now probably is that Choso and the Death Paintings are his (half) siblings and Kenjaku had something to do with it (Choso probably told him so).

Yuji learning about Choso being his brother is a good thing for him. The time he did act unsatisfied with the idea was back in Shibuya. After that, we seen their relationship got better. He had Choso at his side since then.

Now what good would it do if Yuji learned the truth about how he's related Kenjaku and Sukuna? In fact, would he even care?

Remember when Wasuke tried to tell him about his parents? Didn't care to hear that.

When Junpei asked about his parents? Didn't remember little to nothing about his dad and nothing at all about his mom. But he didn't seem entirely brokenhearted. He seemed... like he accepted it, moved past that.

The thing with Yuji is... if Sukuna decides to throw it in their face that they're related, I doubt Yuji would break down in tears and give up fighting.

That's not Yuji.

Two reactions I feel like Yuji would give.

Either he will be furious or he'll brush it off as he normally does with Sukuna's antics.

With him being furious, it will just give him more reason to hate Sukuna and kill him. Family be damned. We seen Yuji angry. Look, Sukuna already got hit with back to back Black Flashes. I don't think he wants Yuji angry. Nuh uh. Sukuna don't do that.

Honestly though... I also feel like Sukuna doesn't give a damn about telling Yuji.

Anyways!

Same with Kenjaku. I don't think Yuji would actually care to know Kenjaku is his mother (by host). Again, what good would it do for him?

I also feel like he may have figured it out by now. Yuji ain't all that dumb now. I said it before but I do think he may have caught on by now or at least will later. And I don't think he would be fazed.

Would he think it would be cruel that Kenjaku have done such things? Yes! Would he not like the fact he was created by Kenjaku to be Sukuna's vessel and be related to those two? Also, yes. He'd hate that idea.

But Yuji just doesn't come off as someone who dwells on the past like that, let alone would be like "oh, woe is me, my family is so messed up" and cry waterfalls.

He's just more of a "What's done is done and I'll do what I can to make the best of it" person to me. He accepts, he learns and does what he can to make the most of out a bad situation.

Him knowing he's related to Kenjaku and Sukuna in some way will not change the fact that they're both evil and done terrible things or Yuji's feelings.

Sometimes I feel like the reason we don't know much about Yuji or Sukuna or others for the Heian Era is for the purpose of not needing to.

Yes, knowing about the past can help. But sometimes knowing, it doesn't have a purpose other than having extra information.

Maybe not knowing much about Sukuna is a way of saying "let's leave the past in the past and move on". Sukuna was not meant to be in the present times. When he's finally put to rest, that should be it for him.

It's why some of the characters like the Higher-Ups and the Zenin clan sucks and came to a downfall. Part of their awful behavior was they were more traditional and didn't care to adapt to the new changes.

That's going to be the case for Sukuna. Yuji is the present and future. Sukuna is the past. Yuji is going to be that new age that rises and push Sukuna right into the dirt where he belong.

Again, them being related and Yuji knowing ain't going to change the fact that Yuji wants Sukuna dead and he's going to kill him. So what would be the point of knowing?

[icarusignite]

Hey Author, I wanted to ask if you could maybe write a story about ! Sihtric x reader! Could you perhaps write something where the reader is the younger sister of Ragnar, Uhtred and Thyra. In sihtric's age.

Maybe she could have met him in the forest when the two were children and became best friends from that day on. Nobody knew about it because the families are no longer good. Years later, when Kjartan kills the parents of the reader and Uhtred. the reader goes with him and Brida. She is younger than Uhtred and brida maybe Uhtred could teach his little sister to fight and she will be a shieldmaid maybe even the best!!!

When sihtric joins uhtred, the reader is very happy. Sihtric loves the reader, but thinks she would never want anything from him, so he marries his wife from the series

The relationship between the reader and sihtric becomes very bad due to the married

The reader is angry because she doesn't like his wife, she’s jealous and she is very hurt. And she makes him feel her anger!!! Maybe we could have a little fight with his wife, that would be cool.

At some point I don't know how they could confess their feelings for each other.

I love drama in story’s like that. I hope you like it too and it gave you ideas to write it. Maybe you could say if you write it.

Thank you, your reader 🫶❤️

#drama #brokenheart #anger #bestfriends #love

I am so jealous that she is his wife. I just don't like her😑

I have to put my cell phone away, otherwise it will be broken later

I wrote a similar request to another author, but I thought I could also ask another one, hope it doesn't bother you! 🫶

Heyyy finally got this done. It is longer than I expected lol cuz I wanted to give them a shared background story lol. I tried to add all the requested components but his wife just isn't his wife yet so he was planning to marry her but then ofc he changes his mind after the reader rages at him. I love angry confessions lol.

Cheers, hope you enjoy the story 🫶

Word Count: 4.8k | AO3

In the heart of the forest, the sun shone through the canopy of leaves and the birds sang a merry tune. A group of children ran through the underbrush, their laughter echoing through the trees.

"I saw a wolf, Uhtred, I saw it, it had sharp teeth and yellow eyes!" Brida shouted excitedly, brandishing the branch she held in her hand as a pretend sword.

"Brida, Uhtred, don't let them get to me," Thyra shouted from the platform the children had built in the trees. "And protect my little sister!"

"I am a warrior like Father and Young Ragnar. I don't need Uhtred to protect me!" you shouted back at Thyra, who only rolled her eyes at your childish antics. 

"Father and Young Ragnar are much bigger than you, you cannot possibly be like them!" Uhtred laughed.

You crossed your arms and glared at him until he raised his hands placatingly.

"Now then, what shall we do about the wolf?" you grinned. "I say we skin him and gift his pelt to the lady of the hall."

Your hair whipped around your face as you fought your imaginary foes, eyes bright with determination and a fierce sense of bravery. You took careful steps, your feet moving in sync with your makeshift sword, as you circled around the supposed wolves who were coming for your sister. Suddenly you heard the sound of branches snapping and twigs crunching underfoot, signalling the approach of another person to your little corner of the forest. You instinctively raised your branch in front of you, ready to defend yourself and your friends against any potential enemies. 

"Did you see that?" Uhtred's voice wavered and everyone's necks turned in the direction the noise originated from. 

A figure stepped out from behind the trees, making Uhtred and Brida freeze. 

"Uhtred?" Thyra's panicked voice came from her spot in the trees. "What is happening?"

"Stay up there!" he warned, grabbing your hand along with Brida's and pulling back a few steps. 

 "It's Sven, Kjartan's son," Brida breathed.

"Sven?" Thyra's voice shook.

"He won't hurt you," Uhtred reassured.

You pushed Brida and Uhtred forward, "But he'll kill you, so go!" 

"What, we're not leaving you!"

"And I will not leave my sister. Just go, please."

Several other young boys, Sven's friends presumably, tore out of their hiding places, giving chase to Brida and Uhtred as they sprinted away. One of the larger boys made his way toward the tree Thyra was in. You ran after him, hoping to get to him before he reached your sister. You tackled him to the ground but he easily threw you off to the side before going to haul Thyra out of her hiding spot and toward Sven.

"Don't touch her. Don't you dare touch her!" you shouted, and another boy grabbed you by the hair and yanked your head upward.

"Shut your yapping mouth or you'll be next bitch," he murmured into your ear.

Thyra whimpered as Sven cornered her against a tree, sword in hand. 

"Uhtred! Uhtred!" she wailed and it made your heart race. 

You knew Sven was going to do something to her, you could see it in the smirk he sent your way just before he reached forward and ripped the top half of Thyra's dress off her shoulders. A broken sob escaped her mouth and she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to make herself small. The sight set your nerves on fire. With an animalistic screech, you headbutted the boy who was holding on to you. When you slammed your head against his nose, you heard a satisfying crunch and he howled in pain as blood gushed down his face. You gave another holler before you ran and threw your entire weight onto Sven, forcing him away from your sister and managing to knock him onto the ground.  You watched out of the corner of your eye as Thyra fled the scene, screaming for Uhtred and Brida to come to your aid. One of Sven's friends pulled your small frame off him easily, and dragged you deeper into the forest, pinning you against a tree with his arm across your neck, suffocating you. You twisted in his hold and kicked him between the legs, making him drop you so that you could crawl away. Sven was right there though, and he grabbed your jaw, turning your head so that your eyes met his. He was several years older than you and now you were frightened. 

"Hmm, you're not as pretty as your sister, but I suppose you'll do," he snickered.

You closed your teeth around his arm, biting down until you tasted blood. He swore and when he went to pull you off, you drew back to punch him. And then you were raining blows down frantically upon him before he had a chance to get up. His hand scrambled around for his sword and brought it up in a deadly arc across your face. You flinched at the burning sting and he used it to his advantage in order to throw you off him. He stood there frozen for a moment, just watching your crouching form on the floor, your hand pressed tightly to your cheek as you took in deep shuddering breaths and blood seeped from between your fingers. Perhaps he then remembered who your father was because he turned and ran, his cruel friends following close behind. 

"Are you...are you alright?" came a timid voice after a while, and it made you jump. 

"Who-Who's there?"

You blinked through teary eyes to spot a young boy around your age step forward from behind a nearby tree. He looked at you with concern, his eyes taking in your injury.

"Are you okay?" he asked again softly.

You shook your head, fresh tears streaming down your face. You were terrified, hurt, and you couldn't quite remember the way home so you were also lost. 

The little boy took a step closer, his eyes reassuring, "Don't worry, I'll help you."

You cringed away from him, "Who are you."

"I am Sihtric. I won't hurt you."

"Can you help me find my way back home, I don't remember the way," you whimpered.

Sihtric took your hand and started to lead you out of the forest. You clung to his hand tightly as he led you through the forest. You were still scared, but somehow his presence brought you a sense of comfort and safety. As you emerged from the dense cluster of trees, you could see your home in the distance. Your heart leaped with relief, and you began to quicken your pace, Sihtric keeping pace with you, never once letting go of your hand. As you drew closer, you saw both your parents standing at the door looking out anxiously. When your mother caught sight of you, her eyes lit up and she rushed towards you, scooping you up into her arms. You winced, your left hand still pressed up against your face. She let out a gasp and carefully pried your hand away, and showed the angry red line, that ran from your cheekbone to your chin, to your father. Earl Ragnar swore loudly before taking up his sword and leaving the house in a fury to confront Kjartan and his son, already having been told the story of what happened by the other children. 

"Is-is Thyra okay?" you whispered to your mother, making her smile affectionately.

"Oh my darling girl, look at the state of you, and you're still worried for your older sister. Thyra is perfectly fine, she just had a bit of a fright, now let's get you inside and cleaned up hmm?"

Sihtric lingered outside your door, uncertain of what to do. Your mother noticed him standing there and approached him, still clutching you in her arms.

"Thank you for bringing my daughter home," she said, her voice kind. "You're a very brave young boy."

Sihtric just shrugged, looking a little embarrassed, "It was nothing, I'm just glad she's okay."

As he turned to leave, you grabbed his hand. 

"Wait," you said. "Will I see you again?"

"If you like...?" he gazed up at your mother in hesitation. 

Your mother nodded, her lips turning upward, "You are welcome here anytime."

You grinned shyly, the memory of your adventure already fading into the background, "We can explore the forest together then, just like real warriors."

With a wave goodbye, Sihtric turned and disappeared back into the woods, leaving you with a newfound sense of wonder and the excitement that comes with making a new friend. From that day forward, Sihtric became one of your closest companions, spending endless afternoons exploring the forest and getting into all sorts of adventures. You always looked out for each other, and the bond you forged that day in the woods never wavered. Even though his father had been banished by yours, he continued to find ways to meet with you in the forest, a place where he didn't have to be Sihtric Kjartansson, a bastard child of Kjartan the Cruel. He was just Sihtric, your friend, and perhaps more, judging by the lingering glances you both often exchanged.

This continued up until that fateful day when your entire world was burnt to the ground. You had lost everyone, your parents, your grandfather, and your beloved sister. Your older brother Ragnar the Younger had been away and you felt yourself all alone in the world, that is until Uhtred and Brida took you in. Uhtred felt a strong sense of responsibility for you, being one of the last surviving members of the family that had so lovingly raised him. He had been unable to save Thyra from being taken but he swore to himself that he'd never let harm come to you. 

As the years went by, your childhood wish came true. You had indeed become a fierce warrior, and Uhtred made sure that you knew how to protect yourself and others. You fought in the Battle of Edington against Skorpa and made a reputation for yourself, but the young boy with whom you had spent your childhood days remained a fond memory you found yourself often reminiscing. 

______________

It was in King Guthred's camp in Cumberland where Sihtric finally found you again. He had been sent there to infiltrate the camp and abduct Uhred but when his band of spies attacked, you were the first one there to save your brother, along with Hild, Halig, and Clapa. He had recognized you immediately, the fierce young woman with sharp piercing eyes reminded him of the little girl in the forest whom his half-brother had maimed. However, when you first saw him, you had only looked at him with disdain. He was just another miscreant to you, sent to harm your brother, and you could not imagine him as your childhood companion. He felt his heart sink at that, at the malice in your eyes, at the fact that you did not seem to remember him at all. 

Once he had sworn his allegiance to Uhtred, he made his way to the great hall, where you sat conversing with Gisela. He wanted to talk to you, to hear you speak. Gisela caught sight of his yearning gaze on you and gave him a knowing look. She excused herself and left you sitting there all alone, giving Sihtric an opportunity to take her spot. He settled himself beside you, taking a moment to map out the planes of your face. He had waited years for this moment, to see you again, but now that it was happening, he was unsure how to proceed.

You looked at him and raised an unimpressed eyebrow, "I hear that you will fight for Uhtred now?"

Sihtric nodded.

"You better not betray him, or I'll stick a knife in your throat while you sleep."

A laugh burst out of him and he looked at you with soft eyes, "You are exactly as I remembered."

"Am I now?"

"Do you not remember me?"

You sighed, "Of course, I remember you. How could I ever forget?"

"Well the way you were looking at me like you wanted to take my head off, certainly didn't feel like you remembered me."

"You know you did try to hurt my brother."

"Right...I'm sorry for that by the way. You have my word, I will never betray him."

You twirled your dagger between deft fingers, "I'll hold you to that."

Sihtric laughed again, "Gods, I've missed you."

Your heart skipped a beat. You had always felt something for him but never dared to act on it.

"You did?" you asked, surprised.

He nodded, "I thought about you all the time, wondering where you were and what you were doing. If you were well. And then I heard the stories, of your brother's victories, and they always spoke of his brave sister who fought beside him."

You felt your heart swell with happiness. For the rest of the day, you and Sihtric continued to converse, your exchanges growing more relaxed as you fell back into the familiar comfort of knowing each other. You both shared stories of what you had been doing since you last saw each other.

Sihtric hesitated for a moment, then gathered up his courage to ask you the question that had been weighing on his mind ever since you had been separated, "Are you perhaps with someone now?"

"Why, are you asking because you're interested?" you gave him a playful smirk.

Sihtric's cheeks flushed red as he stumbled over his words, "I... well... I mean... that is to say..."

"Relax, I'm just messing with you. And gods no, me with someone? What an absurd idea. Although... I might be open to offers."

You winked at him.

His eyes widened in surprise and he cleared his throat nervously, "I, uh, I wasn't... I didn't mean..."

"My brother does enough of that for the both of us. Someone's gotta stay sensible and keep him out of trouble, especially since Brida isn't here to do it anymore."

You chuckled at his discomfort and reached out to touch his arm. 

Relief washed over him, and he smiled shyly, "That's good to hear."

You shoved his shoulder, "Good to hear? I am glad my lack of companions brings you such joy Sihtric."

"That is not what I meant and you know it."

"Oh really, so what did you mean then?"

You bat your eyelashes playfully and he rolls his eyes. 

"You haven't changed one bit."

"Perfection doesn't need to change Sihtric."

"Oh very funny."

What he didn't say out loud was that you were indeed perfect. To him at least. He had spent the past few years of his life missing you and he couldn't bear the thought of losing you again. He kept his admiration to himself as he listened to you speak, feeling a deep yearning in his chest. He wanted nothing more than to tell you how he felt, to take you in his arms and never let go. But he was afraid. Afraid of ruining the friendship he had just rekindled. Afraid of the disappointment he would feel if you rejected him. He wondered if you knew how he felt. Did you have any idea of the effect you had on him? He doubted it. After all, you had been children when you had last seen each other. Maybe you had moved on and found someone else. Maybe you didn't even remember him the way he remembered you.

As the next three years went by, you fell into an easy routine with Sihtric. He was part of Uhtred's inner circle and you were his beloved sister so the two of you were seldom separated. Your teasing banter and friendly competition entertained everyone in the group and soon they were all making bets regarding which one of you would be bold enough to confess to the other. The feelings you two had for one another were obvious to everyone, everyone except you and Sihtric it seemed. Even your brother often sent teasing smiles your way when he paired you with Sihtric for tasks. Perhaps this was why the entire group was flabbergasted when Sihtric asked for Uhtred's blessing to marry. 

Uhtred had mentally prepared himself for Sihtric to eventually ask for your hand. He would ask you for your opinion of course and if you were agreeable, he would have been more than happy to bless the union. 

"Who is it that you wish to marry Sihtric?" he raised an eyebrow.

Finan sniggered behind him, sure that his companion would utter your name. You were all on the road back to Winchester and it had been a dull journey so far so he was curious at this new turn of events. You had to admit, you found your heart racing at his request as well. You held your breath, not daring to hope. 

"Sidgeflaed, Lord," Sihtric replied.

"Sidgeflaed? The whore in Winchester you've been spending a lot of time with lately."

"She says she loves me, Lord."

Finan snorts and Sihtric squared his shoulders defensively.

"I swear, she says she loves me!"

"She would. Sihtric she's a whore," Finan chuckled. "What she loves is your silver."

The entire group burst out into laughter.

Sihtric kept his attention on your brother, "I wish to marry her. She says she loves me and I love her."

Uhtred noticed your rigid form out of the corner of your eye. Your knuckles were white from how hard you were gripping your horse's reigns and your jaw was clenched tightly. He could tell that something was bothering you and he had a feeling he knew exactly what it was.

"I will speak to Gisela when we arrive at Winchester and then perhaps I will let you marry your girl. But in the meantime, you are to give her no more of your silver."

You felt a pang of jealousy and sadness at his words. He had chosen someone else. You thought that perhaps now since you had been reunited, he might've chosen you. You kept your emotions in check long enough to flash Sihtric a strained congratulatory smile, but inside you struggled to hold back tears. And then your sadness turned to anger, and you couldn't help but feel a sense of betrayal. How could he marry someone else when you had loved him all along? You wanted to scream at him and ask him why, you wanted to beg him not to marry this other girl, you wanted to run away and never see him again, you wanted to see him every day of your life. Instead, you kept a placid smile on your face and once you all reached your destination, you were the first one to bolt home, leaving your brother to deal with your horse. 

Gisela looked up in surprise when you burst through the door and rushed to your room, the door slamming behind you. Once you were in the private confines of your chambers, you let the tears flow freely. A few moments later, there was a soft knock on the door. You quickly wiped your tears and tried to compose yourself as your brother's wife, entered the room. She had been there for you ever since she married Uhtred, almost like a second mother. 

"Oh, my darling, what's wrong?" she asked gently, placing her arm around your shoulder.

You sniffed morosely, "Nothing, I'm fine."

"Well, you don't look fine."

"It's really nothing. I am just being immature, it's no big deal."

Gisela's lips turned upward as she ran her fingers through your hair, "I have two kids under the age of seven. I think I can handle immature."

You just shook your head and leaned against her, allowing her to pull you into a tight embrace, her comforting scent calming you down. Just then, someone cleared their throat loudly and Gisela looked up to see her husband smiling down at her.

"Am I interrupting something?" Uhtred asked.

She shook her head, "No, your sister is just upset, but she refuses to tell me why. Perhaps you can shed some light on this matter?"

"No, you can't tell her. She's going to think I'm being childish," you whined from the crook of her neck.

Uhtred sighed in fond exasperation, "Sitric has asked for my permission to marry."

Gisela's brow wrinkled in confusion. Shouldn't you have been happy if that was the case? She had watched you become close to him over time and she knew how fond you were of him. 

"To marry someone else," Uhtred clarified.

Her eyes widened in understanding as she rubbed soothing circles on your back, "It's okay love. It's okay to be upset. You are a strong and resilient woman and you can get through this." 

"Shall I refuse him?" your brother asked, making you shake your head frantically.

"No, I am just being selfish. I want him to be happy, and if... if that other girl is the one he loves, then I will try and be happy for them. I don't want to get in his way."

"If you say so."

After Uhtred left you alone with his wife, you wrapped your arms around her once more.

"Thank you, Gisela. You're always so kind to me."

Gisela smiled at you warmly, "Of course, my dear. That's what family is for."

Over the next few days, you made it your priority to avoid Sihtric at all costs, going out of your way so that your paths didn't cross, and when meeting him was inevitable, you made sure that you interacted with him as little as possible. Your tone when addressing him was cold and clipped, only saying what was necessary. It was obvious to everyone that you were trying to distance yourself from him and eventually even Sihtric picked up on your strange behaviour.

He had been trying to find a chance to talk to you alone ever since his first announcement regarding his matrimonial plans. He sensed the strained tension that lingered in the air whenever you were around him, and it filled him with a sense of despair. He was doing this all for you and now you wouldn't even look at him. He thought that by marrying someone else, he would be able to take his mind off you. He didn't want to push you into something you did not want and ruin your friendship by confessing his feelings but now it seemed that he had only made things worse. He had to make things right again somehow. As luck would have it, he spotted you walking down the street alone one day. He called out your name, hurrying to catch up to you. 

When you turned around and saw him coming towards you, you tried to quicken your pace, hoping to avoid him, but he was much too fast. He grabbed your arm and pulled you into a nearby alleyway, away from prying eyes. You aggressively yanked your arm away from him and glared. 

"What are you doing, Sihtric?" 

"I had to talk to you," he responded, his voice low and urgent. "You've been avoiding me, and I need to know why."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," your voice was flat as you fixed your eyes on something over his shoulder, avoiding eye contact. 

"Damnit would you at least look at me when I'm speaking to you."

"No."

"Why are you acting like this? Would you please talk to me."

"Just leave me alone Sihtric. Go spend time with that whore you've been humping. You should get to know your future wife some more," you spat out.

Sihtric flinched at the venom in your words. Your entire body was tensed and you blinked rapidly a few times as if to hold back tears.

"I can't leave you alone," he said, his voice rising. "You're my friend. I care about you. I need to know what's going on."

"I am not your friend, don't you dare call me your friend. You do not care about me at all!"

"How can you say that? What have I done? Would you at least tell me?"

Your face hardened, "If I was really your friend, you would have told me about Sidgeflaed. You never even mentioned her."

"Is that what this is about then? You're upset that I told your brother before I told you? If that's the case then I'm sorry you had to find out like that," he approached slowly, arms reaching toward you.

You shoved him away, "You don't get it, do you? You still don't get it."

"Then explain it to me... please."

"You're marrying her! How could you marry her? If you really cared about me, you wouldn't be breaking my heart like this!" you screamed at him then, and tears streamed down your face. 

"What?"

"How could you marry someone else Sihtric? How could you do that to me when you know how I feel about you? Do you expect me to attend your wedding with a smile on my face? Congratulate you for every child you have with her?"

"What do you mean I know how you feel about me?"

You turned to walk away, and Sihtric couldn't hold back any longer. He grabbed your arm again and spun you around to face him, pushing you against the wall, his face inches from yours. 

His voice rose in anger, "You know what, no! You don't get to say something like that and walk away from me. What did you mean when you said I know how you feel?"

"You know very well what I meant. Do not humiliate me any further," you gave him a weak laugh.

Realization dawned on his face as his eyes widened.

"You have feelings for me?"

You shrugged nonchalantly, "What does it matter? It's not like you feel anything for me."

Sihtric scoffed derisively, "That is the furthest thing from the truth."

"Huh?"

"Don't act like you don't see it. Like you never saw the way I've always looked at you."

Your eyes narrowed in anger, "How dare you? You never once told me how you felt. How dare you blame this on me?"

"I'm not blaming-" he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry okay. I'm sorry I hurt you."

"That doesn't change anything. You're still marrying her."

Your voice broke at the last word and Sihtric's heart clenched at the sight of your melancholy expression.

"I'll try to be happy for you. I swear it. You-you should be able to be with the person you love most and I will make my peace with the fact that it will never be-."

"I don't want to marry her!"

"But-"

"I thought that by marrying someone else, I could forget about you. I was wrong. I can't forget about you."

"Oh don't pretend to care now."

Sihtric tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear and ran his fingers down your jaw. 

"I care about you more than anything," he whispered, stepping infinitesimally closer. "I love you."

"You do?"

"Weren't you listening silly girl? It's you I love, it's you I wish to choose."

"I don't appreciate being called silly," you sulked. "And you're really not going to marry her then?"

"No. No, I can't keep lying to myself."

"You really hurt me you know."

"I know, and I'm sorry," Sihtric begged, his voice pleading. "But please, just give me a chance to make it up to you. I love you. I always have, ever since we were children, and even when I couldn't see you, I never stopped thinking about you. I just didn't want to ruin what we had by telling you."

Your heart skipped a beat at his words. You had always secretly hoped that he felt the same way, but had convinced yourself that he didn't. Now, standing in front of him, you could feel the tug of your shared history and the depth of his emotions.

"Please, just one chance. Let me show you how much I care about you. I promise to never take you for granted again," Sihtric continued sincerely.

"Okay," you murmured, your voice softening. "Okay, I'll give you a chance but if you hurt-"

"Never. I will never hurt you again."

Sihtric brushed the remaining tears from your eyes tenderly and smiled, feeling a sense of relief wash over him. He couldn't resist the pull he felt, because then he was leaning in and pressing his lips gently against yours, unsure if you would reciprocate.

You were caught off guard by the suddenness of the kiss, but as his lips moved against yours, you felt your heart stutter in your chest. You closed your eyes and kissed him back, allowing yourself to be swept away by the rush of affection you felt for him. 

You both stood there for a few long moments, lost in each other, oblivious to the world around you. When he pulled away, Sihtric grinned.

"I suppose I'll have to ask your brother's blessing again," he looked into your eyes hesitantly. "That is if you would do me the honour of allowing me to be yours?"

"Yes. Yes of course."

"Thank you."

He pressed a delicate kiss to your scar and then you were pulling him back towards you by his collar, mouths pressed in a passionate embrace as you both gave in to the undeniable attraction that had been simmering beneath the surface for years.

"I love you, I love you, I love you," he mumbled against your skin like a prayer. 

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: If This Is Love, You Need To Prove It {2}

Title: If This Is Love, You Need To Prove It {2}

Lewis Hamilton x Reader

Warning: Heavy Angst, Plot Heavy, LOTS OF WORDS, Heartbreak, Cursing, 

Words: 9.1k

Summary: The fall out of Lewis’ actions is real, as is the freeze out. You’re fuming but brokenhearted. Not only do you feel like a fool, but you also feel used. Moving on is the only option, but Lewis doesn’t want to move on—or that’s what his actions say. 

Note: Part 2 is here! The plot thickens. 

Note II: Italicized text is a flashback/memory or someone’s words all from some time in the past.

As always, thank you all so much for reading. I truly appreciate it!

If you enjoyed this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!!!

***NOT Edited/Proofread***

Previous: If This Is Love, I Don’t Want It {1}

~~~~~~

“Listen to your gut about men. Your gut is never wrong.”

Your mother’s sage old advice echoed in your head. It had been one of the many lessons she’d voice recorded for you before her untimely death when you were just shy of your 18th birthday.

You’d always wondered what had motivated her to write letters and record videos for you dropping wise words, encouragement, mantras, sweet stories and other things of the sort. You often wondered if she knew she was not going to be around in the future.

 Your soft cries turned into loud wails then. Raising the bottle of dark liquor to your lips, you chugged two mouthfuls then cried from the burn. It was just another added pain onto the others you carried. It had been two days since the events at Lewis’ house. Two days you’d locked yourself in one of your family’s vacation homes off the coast of Monaco. Two days you’d been surviving on dark liquor, chocolate, ice-cream and oxygen. Two days you hadn’t answered your phone or done anything else but cry.

As if the heavens sympathized with you, the weather for the last two days had been a dreary, rainy mess. It seemed like the perfect backdrop for you, so you often sat on the deck in the rain and just cried. No care for getting sick, no care for even your hair which you normally were super careful and protective of. Everything be dammed. None of it mattered.

 Everything played in your mind over and over like a movie. It hadn’t felt real then, hell it still didn’t feel real now. You didn’t know how you’d gotten here. Everything had been going so well. For the last year and change his words matched his actions and efforts matched what you saw in his eyes. He was attentive, loving, thoughtful, giving, helpful, honest, devoted. He was perfect. It didn’t make any sense. None of this made sense.

 Could you have imagined what you saw in his eyes? All this time could he have been lying? Was he really such a smooth player and liar to be so skilled to make lies shine through his eyes? Could he really have kept up a façade for over a year? For what? Sex? Your virginity? He didn’t even know you were a virgin.

 You groaned, stood from the shower floor then turned off the water. While dripping wet, you walked to your robe then wrapped yourself in it. Ignoring anything else you walked back to your bedroom and laid down. The weather today was another shitter and again you didn’t care one bit. As you stared out the ceiling to floor window at nothing really your mind drifted away to thoughts trying to make sense of everything. your brain went left, right, up, down and around but still you couldn’t make any sense of it. As your eyelids grew heavier and heavier your brain moved on to the hurt and betrayal of it all. You’d believed, you’d tried, you’d been sold a dream and now it was proven to all be a lie.

 The next time you opened your eyes, it was a lot harder. Your eyelids felt impossibly heavy as if you wore several pairs of lashes. That wasn’t the only thing odd, you couldn’t hear anything except warbled words, high pitched beeping and wind as if a vacuum were on beside you. Writhing, you felt hands everywhere, then something powerful held you down and you felt painful pinches in your arms and thighs. You opened your mouth to scream or shout “stop” but no sound came, your throat was dry and tight. Finally, you were able to open your eyes, but everything was blurry. It was as if you were seeing through them for the first time. It hurt, they felt raw as if someone had thrown sand in them, but it was forever embedded inside.

 Then you heard your name being called but the voice was foreign. As soon as it all started it stopped. Now you heard and saw nothing—but darkness.

Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep.

You snapped your eyes open and gasped gulping in air as quickly as you could. It felt as if you’d been deprived for days.

 “Y/N!”

 Big mistake you thought as quivered from the ache in your body that felt as if it were emulating from your very bones. Then your eyes immediately burned making you shut them again as your back dropped to a bed.

 “Wh--,” you began but stopped once you recognized pain. You felt hoarse.

 The only thought in your head was, what the hell had happened?

 “It’s okay. Calm down,” your father’s voice advised as he placed his hands on your arms steadying you.

 “I know you’re confused. it’s okay. Take slow breaths. I’m here.”

 “Seriously, Jordan, you spoil her. If you coddle her like this, she’ll think she can pull stunts like this all the time,” came the shrill voice of the woman you hated most in this world.

 “Coddle? Aleeza, she almost died,” your father clarified, exasperation clear in his tone.

 “Da—da--,” you swallowed painfully hoping it would help then tried again. “Da--.”

 “Here my love, some water.”

 You felt the glass touch your bottom lip and you took a tentative sip. The first touch of the cold water over your taste buds woke you up making you feel even more like you’d crawled through the Kalahari Desert for a week. You took mouthful after mouthful until the glass was empty.

 “That a girl,” your father encouraged while gently rubbing your back.

 “Yes, she almost died because of her own negligence. Really, Y/N, disappearing for a rager and then drinking until blackout? How mature. I told you Jordan, she is nowhere ready to take on any responsibility with the club,” Aleeza blabbered on.

 Though you were confused as shit, you were seconds from leaping out of the bed and giving her a Mortal Kombat finish her move. You hated this woman, and it was evident the feeling was mutual.

 “Enough!”

 Your father’s voice boomed around the room stopping any further comments from his 2nd wife. Through the thin slits of your burning eyes, you saw that she pouted at him but quickly shaped up seeing he was not going to be fooled.

 “Either sit down and be quiet or you can wait for me in the hall.”

 You didn’t have to look at Aleeza to know she was cowering. You heard her huff, but you didn’t hear her heels clinking out the room, so you assumed she sat.

 “Sweetheart. How are you feeling?”

 You cleared your throat then spoke, “Wha—What happened?”

 “You don’t remember?”

 Shaking your head, you tried to open your eyes more to see him fully.

 “I couldn’t reach you for 4 days. You were supposed to be back in London. I got worried. None of your friends had heard from you, no one had heard from you. I ended up having to have a friend of mine hack into your phone to get your location. When I got to the house you were unconscious, burning up, shivering with vomit on you.”

 Bits and pieces finally came back to you.

 “I brought you here. You had alcohol poisoning, a bronchial infection, and your anemia had been severely triggered. You don’t have enough red blood cells honey. I thought you were taking care of yourself. You know you shouldn’t be drinking excessively. Then come to find out you hadn’t taken your medication in days. Y/N.”

 “Irresponsible.”

 “Aleeza,” your father cautioned.

 With your head down, you allowed the events leading up to today to play through your mind.

 “I’m sorry dad.”

 He sighed, pulled you into a hug and pat the back of your head like he used to when you were a kid. You melted into him and allowed your tears to fall.

 “It’s okay. I—you scared the shit out of me Y/N. I thought I was going to lose you too. I can’t lose you, not after your mother.”

 His voice was clouded with emotion and unshed tears. You knew how difficult losing your mother was for him. You could tell he still hadn’t recovered fully. Your eye caught Aleeza sitting a ways away. The look on her face brightly showed her disgust, annoyance and hatred. There was something else there too, something you couldn’t place. Was it smugness, happiness?

 “They had to pump your stomach to get rid of the alcohol. They gave you iron transfusions and IV meds for the bronchial infection, and a blood transfusion” your father further informed lifting his arm to show his bandaged forearm.

 That bad, you though as the guilt was swirling in you; “How long have I been here?”

 “Two long days,” Aleeza piped up. “Plus, the day you were found. My, my, you should be careful the state you allow others to see you in. You neeever know who snapped a picture and what they’ll do with it.”

 Both yours and your father’s eyes went to her.

 “All I am saying is plenty of tabloid trash would love a picture of Y-F-N/ Y-L-N thee daughter of F1’s most prominent front runner,” Aleeza said. “It isn’t only your name you drag through the mud, Y/N, it is your father’s—mine.”

 You narrowed your eyes, the hatred you felt for her was bubbling at the surface. You knew the woman was vile but for her to say this to you or your father spoke of how ballsy she really felt. They’d only been married for 4 years, and she thought she held the whole Y-L-N power in her hands. Before you could lurch for her and turn this hospital room into a celebrity deathmatch arena, your father sighed.

 “Wait outside Aleeza.”

 “But honey,” she whined dragging out the pet name.

 “Now.”

 Not liking his tone or that she couldn’t cutesy her way out of this she stomped then walked to the door. Once finally alone, you leaned back onto the bed and sighed. The woman was like dark matter, her leaving instantly relieved the tension in the room.

 “I’m sorry for Aleeza. She’s going through a lot with the shareholders not voting her in.”

 “She was the only one who thought they would vote her in,” you rasped.

 “They did however unanimously vote in your favor to take the next steps. Congratulations to the club’s newest and first woman in senior management.”

 You smiled hearing the confirmation that your hard work and effort had paid off.

 “Congratulations honey. Next step shareholder. Toto better watch his back.”

 You snorted then groaned feeling the pain in your chest and abdomen.

 “It serves you right. They pumped 3 times the normal alcohol consumption for the average human from your system. What the hell?”

 You sighed.

 “What’s going on?”

 You couldn’t tell him the truth. There was no way you could tell him that you’d been sleeping with Mercedes’ golden boy and major bread winner. Internal fraternization was frowned upon, hell it was practically in everyone’s contract and now that you’d been placed in senior management it could look really bad. No matter how much you hated Aleeza she was right. Your name was not yours alone. Your father had worked too long to accomplish all he had for you to fuck it up. Plus, if he found out the entirety of things you were sure he’d rip Lewis’ contract to shreds and kick his ass out of MB. You smiled thinking that, but the devious thought quickly passed. You were not that kind of person. He may have turned out to be a lying, selfish, self-centered asshole, but you were none of those things.

 “Don’t allow anyone, man, woman, or child, but especially a man turn you into something or someone you are not!”

 With your mother’s words in your head, you began; “I just got some unsatisfactory news about some investment choices I’d made outside of F1, and the family and I just felt like I’d been pushed back hundreds of steps. I was scared I wouldn’t be able to achieve the things I wanted,” you lied.

 “Honey. What have I always told you? Investments are a game, 50/50. If it’s 50 in your favor great, if not then I’m here. Me and legal the team could have quickly and easily fixed it for you. This was not necessary. Was this a cry for help like Aleeza said?”

 You disgustedly snorted. “No. Aleeza couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m fine now dad. I promise to never let this happen again.”

 He studied you with his wrinkle rimmed all seeing eyes for several long moments. With each second that ticked by, you feared he’d seen right through you. Ever since your mother’s passing, he’d taken her place and was always there for you when you’d gotten your heart broken. He was ready with the ice cream, chocolate, and Brandy. He’d stay with you while you cried offering his lifetime’s worth of advice. If he’d been the one to find you then you knew he had to have seen the empty ice cream cartons and bottles of Brandy lying around amongst the chocolate wrappers. If he had seen them, he knew very well what you were dealing with.

 A sad smile spread across his face. “All right, Y/N. I will take your word for it. Just know I am always your father first and foremost. I will always put you first and I’m always here for you.”

 You nodded and kissed his cheek. If he knew he wasn’t saying anything, and you were grateful to him for that.

 ~~~~~~~

 -3 Days Later-

“Oh my god, when we saw you were in the hospital from Daily Mail, we were so worried,” Francesca said with your hands clasped in hers.

 “Aw, I’m sorry you had to hear about it from Daily Mail—eck! However, I am perfectly fine.”

 You smiled hoping that she and all the other girls believed you. Currently, you were sitting in the conference room that you’d changed around to resemble a comfortable lounge. You’d replaced the oblong conference table and stifling office chairs with oversized bean bag chairs, comfortable designer couches and settees and other elements that gave the room a comfortable vibe.

 “I’m relieved,” Monica, your assistant said.

 “I’m thankful I have you as my right-hand woman and to have such thoughtful women around me.”

 They all beamed at you then Monica stood and walked to the corner where she took out a bouquet of flowers and a galaxy printed gift bag.

 “We all heard about your new title, and we wanted to say...”

 They all jumped up from their seats and threw sparkled confetti at you and into the air.

 “Congratulations!”

 You laughed covering your eyes as the shock washed over you. The room that had been clean seconds ago was now covered in confetti.

 “Wow, you guys. This is—wow, thank you.”

 Monica held the flowers and the gift bag to you. Happily, you took the items and took a deep whiff of them.

 “Mmm. Thank you guys. I appreciate the sentiment and I promise to be the best that I can for all of you.”

 They pooled in and hugged you. With a warm heart you forgot about the stress of the last week or so. This was what you’d worked for, this was what mattered. Your ringing cell phone brought your attention to your purse off to the side.

 “We have to go down to the garage. Are you coming?”

 You looked back at Farrah then nodded; “Give me a second, let me get this and I’ll be right there.”

 They walked to the door leaving you to dig your phone out of your purse. When you had, the caller ID had you pausing.

 💘😘Lewis😍💘

 Your heart immediately began beating out your chest. You stared at his ID and the movie that was your life over the last week or so played in your head at hyper speed. The extreme highs of being with him and being cared for by him, his words during your most intimate moments, his attention, his sex, then the extreme lows of his betrayal, his lies, his selfishness and the aftermath. Your anxiousness turned to anger then.

 This wasn’t the first time he’d called. He’d called so many times since you’d woken in the hospital. Each call of course went unanswered, even ignored. You’d think he would have gotten the hint but no, he kept calling. You thought to put him on the block list, but you hadn’t. You couldn’t. For some reason it still felt wrong, and that fact pissed you off even more. How was it wrong when this was the least of what he deserved?

 The ringing stopped, showing you’d missed his call, but even though you’d missed it, the aftereffects were still present. You cursed your damn body for its treachery and then chastised yourself for still caring and having it prevent you from blocking his ass.

 “Y/N?”

 You shook it off then walked out of the conference room with your purse in tow. As you got downstairs and began your walk to the garage your mind drifted yet again. It had been like this for the last few days. You couldn’t for the life of you keep your head in the game. The smallest things triggered a memory and that memory a slew of emotion and those emotions brought you back to present day and then you crashed—hard.

 You didn’t even realize you’d arrived until you were surrounded by interviewers who were shouting your name trying to get your attention.

 “Y/N, just a few questions.”

 “Okay, sure.”

 “We’ve heard the news of your new position. Congratulations.”

 “Thank you.”

 “Being the daughter of Jordan Y-L-N, did you immediately fall for the idea of working for Mercedes or did they have to woo you?”

 You giggled; “No there was no wooing needed. All I’ve ever known is Mercedes, F1 and racing. Was there really any other career option for me?”

 The reporters laughed all together as the cameras continued snapping.

 “You definitely have a knack for fashion and beauty so there is always that.”

 You struck a pose then fanned off the reporter. “Stop it.”

 “What is the chain of command with your new role?”

 “Uh, I’m still at the bottom of the food chain guys.”

 They laughed again.

 “We doubt that. You are the first woman to enter senior management with the organization. What a feat.”

 “I am incredibly proud of that actually. To see some real change happening to become more inclusive is so monumental.”

 “What do you bring to the Mercedes and F1 table?”

 “A woman’s eye and my entire life of information being behind the scenes, a fan and up front. Needless to say, I’ve seen a lot and I’ve learned even more, and I believe I offer a creative and modern take on the sport and can bring this side of F1 to greater heights.”

 The women you were now in charge of applauded behind you making you smile. They held so much faith in you and it was contagious.

 “Thanks guys,” you said ready to walk away.

 “One more, please, Y/N.”

 “Okay. Last one.”

 “Why do you think Mercedes offered you this role rather than someone more experienced and someone with more skin in the game? Someone who isn’t the daughter of the biggest name in Mercedes. Why you? And couldn’t you consider this nepotism that plenty of African American media users have called for so many of their white counterparts?”

 You couldn’t believe what you’d heard. The old white man who’d asked the question didn’t look in the least bit ashamed or worried about the question. He looked proud. For the first time in a long time, you didn’t know what to say to a reporter. For the first time you actually wanted to reach over and punch a reporter in the face.

 You cleared your throat then stepped forward. That was when someone stepped in front of you. A body with a head full of braids you recognized.

“What kind of question is that? Mercedes chose her because she’s worked her ass off in and around the field learning, helping and wearing more hats than you could possibly imagine. Mercedes chose her for the role because there wasn’t anyone better, no one with more experience, no one with more skin in the game. She has the most as she’s been with this division since the very beginning when it was a formulated idea between Jordan Y-L-N and his late wife, her mother. Who better to take the helm than one of the founding visionaries. As for this being nepotism according to non-POCs, why does it matter what you think? A qualified woman given a position that she is qualified and skilled to do. Isn’t that what we call equal opportunity? Now an unqualified individual given a position that they are unqualified for and highly under skilled to complete thus relying on those who should have been given the position. Isn’t that the textbook definition of nepotism and isn’t that 90% of the nonblack workforce? Y/N more than has the talk to back up the walk. Do you need clarification?”

 The interviewers all looked stunned, and their speechlessness showed just how thoroughly they’d been read. None of them continued. They just nodded and thanked him and moved on. When he turned to you, you knew you should have walked away but you were still standing there dumbstruck. Lewis stared at you, his face solemn, eyebrows knitted and a frown on his lips. From the circles under his eyes and the lack of luster to his skin you, could tell he hadn’t been sleeping. Probably fucking everything with legs, you said to yourself.

 At that thought you clenched your jaw and shook your head. Turning, you began walking.

 “Y/N, wait.”

 As if it were instinct, you stopped. Go, you screamed in your head. Walk! No matter how much you screamed at yourself, your legs didn’t move.

 “Can we talk?”

 You reared back with eyes wide from his audacity. Lewis shrunk back, flinching as if you’d slapped him across the face. You wanted to so badly your palms itched for it.

 “Please,” he softly added.

 The anger bubbling inside of you finally took over. Instead of it making you irrational and shaky, it had the opposite effect. You felt calm. With one brow raised and poison in your eyes you tapped into your bitch side.

 “You can talk to the crack of my ass!”

 With that you walked away joining your team.

 Over the next several days you wished you could have said he’d gotten the hint. He still called even when you put him on the block list. He’d use other means, Toto’s phone, the Mercedes office phones, his crew, other drivers. It was insane. You’d gotten to the point where you were screening calls by voicemail now.

 Every time you broke and listened to one of his voicemails, they sounded more and more desperate. He never said anything of substance or even explained himself. He simply rambled about the past and asked how you were together. His behavior was so confusing it put you in a state of extreme anger and dangerous sadness. You couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off, but when you did you couldn’t get past feeling weak for trying to make excuses for him.

By the middle of the week, you’d managed to avoid Lewis, and anyone associated with him. Today you’d told your father you’d accompany him to one of the races and you were now walking around the paddock with other members of the crew inspecting the car and having small chats.

 “Congratulations little Y-L-N,” came a voice you recognized.

 Spinning around, you found Toto coming toward you. Smiling, you approached him and accepted his wide stretched arms for a hug.

 “Thank you, big bad Wolff.”

 He chuckled at your nickname for him. “I hear I should watch my back within the next year or two.”

 “I didn’t say it but--,” you stretched making your father and Toto laugh.

 “All right. Well, I welcome you to take my job because then I’ll be sure you deserve it. Come play with the big boys.”

 You rolled your eyes at his teasing.

 “Are you here in senior management mode or are you a spectator?”

 “A little bit of both I guess. I’m also my dad’s plus one.”

 He nodded then looked back as someone called his name. Approaching your trio was Lewis. You released a heavy sigh then caught your father’s eyes on you. Doing your best to cover, you smiled brightly at him.

 “Lewis, feeling good for the race?”

 “Eh, I’m feeling all right.”

 “Good. You remember Jordan Y-L-N and Y/N.”

 Lewis reached out and shook your father’s hand. You noticed the tight hold your father took of him as he held him in place while slightly leaning forward.

 “What kind of man are you, Lewis?”

 “Uh--,” he began clearly confused by your father’s sudden inquiry.

 “The kind of man someone is says a lot about the kind of driver he is. Are you a good, strong, loyal man who knows right from wrong and always protects those he values or a weak man who easily falls prey to pretty words and pretty faces? Are you the kind of man who a father would be proud to hand his pride and joy over to because he’s certain she’ll be cared for properly?”

 Part of you was confused about what had gotten into him and why he was asking this while the other part of you wanted to pat him on the back and grab a cup of the tea because he was definitely getting his Wendy Williams on. They were damn good questions. You knew from experience he was the latter, but you’d let him tell it or lie. What man in their right mind would admit to being a fuckboi?

 Your eyes, your father’s and Toto’s were on Lewis waiting for his answer.

 “Em, I uh—the former, sir.”

 You snorted louder than you’d intended and now three pairs of eyes were on you.

 “Ehm, sorry, I saw something just over there with Charles.”

 Your father smirked while Lewis grimaced.

 “All right. Good to see you again Lewis. Good luck out there,” your father finished.

 Lewis nodded, thanked him then looked at you. He must have been able to see the disdain in your eyes because the only vibe you got from him was a gloomy and depressing one. What the hell you thought. He’d gotten what he wanted. Why the hell would he be anything but overjoyed?

 “Good luck Lewis,” Toto added.

 He looked at you as if he expected you to say the same. You wouldn’t. You weren’t there yet. You wished him pain. Instead of saying that, you kept your lips sealed. When he realized you weren’t going to be a sheep led by the herd, he nodded then walked away back to his crew.

 Twenty or so minutes later, the race was beginning. From behind the scenes, you watched as the lead fluctuated for the first several laps. By the time lap 40 came around, Lewis was in lead, and you couldn’t quell the part of you that was excited and proud of him. It had been so long programed in you that you hadn’t been able to turn it off yet. With effort, you stifled it and kept yourself in check.

 Lap 55 brought different results, Charles took over the lead putting Lewis in second and now the spectators were split. Some cheering for Lewis, some for Charles. Looking around you could sense the angst in the air. Lewis’ team looked on edge as did Charles’. You found it interesting that 3 weeks ago you would also be on edge hoping for the best outcome for Lewis, but everything was different now. You’d seen his true colors, seen the man underneath the pleasant mask and unfortunate for you, you’d been disillusioned.

 Biting your bottom lip, you checked your phone becoming bored with the race. Before you knew it, everyone was standing and cheering on their teams. Then you heard it, the end of the race. You looked up at the screen and saw the standings. Charles had taken P1 while Lewis was at P2. Again, you felt things a significant other would have felt, things you were not obligated or should have felt. It pissed you off more.

 “Hm, interesting,” your father said.

 “What?”

 “He rarely loses.”

 “He did seem off the last week,” Toto informed.

 You shrugged trying to convince yourself you didn’t care.

 When the cars rolled in, and everyone came in you saw the downtrodden look on Lewis’ face and you had to fight with ever fiber in your being against your instincts. You kept yourself planted right where you were and averted your eyes.

 “Charles, the man of the day,” your father began, “Congratulations.”

 “Thank you, sir. Wow, I’m speechless you know who I am.”

 “Of course. Anyone pulling stats like yours I make a business to know,” your father joked.

 “Do you know Y/N?”

 Charles’ eyes landed on you and a wide smile filled his face. He was adorable and you could see how he had the attention of so many fans.

 “I do but glad to finally be up close and personal.”

 Your eyebrow crooked at what sounded like a flirtatious line. Just behind Charles you saw Lewis watching though a sea of people surrounded him trying to get his thoughts.

 “Well up close and personal we are. Good race, congratulations.”

 You stepped in and hugged him while giving Lewis your daggered glare of death.

 “Thanks. Wow, you have such a beautiful daughter Mr. Y-L-N.”

 Your father chuckled. “Don’t I know it. It’s my curse. No matter how I try I can’t keep the boys from her yard.”

 You snorted and teasingly slapped your father’s shoulder. “Ew, dad.”

 Those around laughed as well.

 “Well not all boys in her yard are bad.”

 “Are you throwing yourself in her yard, son?”

 Charles looked at you again and smiled. “I’d be honored to be there.”

 You giggled and swatted at his chest playing up your flirtation. Lewis looked absolutely livid. Good you thought and hoped he understood he wasn’t the end of your world. There were indeed plenty of fish in the sea or in this pond.

Several hours later, you were finally walking to your car ready to go home from a long day. Your feet and face hurt from walking and smiling too much, and you couldn’t wait to wipe off all the makeup and kick off the heels. You sat in the driver’s seat with your feet outside the car then unbuckled your heels. after taking one off, you put it over your knee and massaged it sighing when you hit a particularly achy part.

 “Ouch.”

 Just then a memory hit you of Lewis massaging your feet on long days like this. He never missed a massage. Usually that massage led to other things like him nestling his head between your thighs to then lick, suck and slurp the stress of the day away. With that memory in your head, you dazed out reminiscing about all the good times. Things had been so good, so perfect. you felt the tears prick your eyes and before you could stop them, they rolled down your face.

 “Damn it,” you said on a whine as you buried your face in your palms.

 You couldn’t stop the cries that wracked your body. It was like you hadn’t shed any tears these last weeks when in fact you’d cried every day since finding Lewis exercising his right to be a man whore.

 “Fuck. Stop it Y/N. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it!”

 No matter how many times you said it the tears kept coming. You didn’t know how long you sat there barefoot and weeping. It could have been a few minutes, or it could have been an hour. You didn’t know nor cared.

 “Y/N?”

 You were crying so loud that you barely heard the voice.

 “Y/N!”

 Suddenly before you Lewis was dropped to his knees searching you.

“Are you hurt? What’s wrong? Are you all right?”

 His words were frantic, eyes wide and wild. It took a few moments to realize what was happening but instead of kicking him in his face, you made up your face and wailed even more.

 “Get the fuck—the fuck—the fuck away!”

 He didn’t.

 “What’s wrong? Did someone hurt you?”

 “Y—y—you! Asshole!”

 His hands slackened on your arms, and you saw him dip his head.

 “I—I--,” he stuttered.

 “Get away!”

 He began getting up, but you pulled him back down. “Why? Why’d you do it?! How could you!”

 You held him by his shirt like you were a gangster getting ready to pummel him. He didn’t fight you, so you released your fists in a fury of hits against his chest. No matter how hard you hit him he didn’t move, nor try to stop you. He just took it. Soon, your barrage of hits turned to you just pressing your forehead on his chest as you cried.

 “Shit, I’m sorry Y/N. I--.”

 You barely heard his words all you could focus on was the pain in your heart. Many long moments passed with the two of you like this, Lewis on his knees before you with your forehead on his chest. You hated it but he still felt like home to you. He still felt like yours. Those feelings angered you because you knew you were being stupid, pathetic and weak. You knew if he’d fucked you over once, he’d do it again and again. You weren’t blind to the games of the assholes in the world, but you couldn’t believe you’d fallen for one. You couldn’t believe you’d given one such a significant part of you and now you had nothing to show for it but the shattered pieces of your heart and clown face paint as souvenirs.

 When your sobs slowed then finally dwindled down to sniffles, and your body stilled to only sudden sharp intakes of breath every so often your senses returned. The first thing you became aware of were Lewis’ arms wrapped around you holding you close to him. The second was the fact he was kneeling between your thighs, something that felt intimate in its own standing. The third was that his two-man bodyguard team were standing a few feet away with their backs turned. That jarred you so much that you immediately felt regret.

 “Get off me!”

 You shoved him off harder than you’d intended then wiped your tear-soaked face.

 “Y/N--,” Lewis began.

 “Shut up!”

 Your voice echoed around the empty parking space. You were the only people around, but you didn’t put it past some pap to be hiding out trying to get a candid of F1’s golden boy.

 “Let me explain.”

 “Explain? You had your chance to explain. You chose to remain silent, and fuck lose pussy.”

 “I didn’t fuck anyone!”

 His voice was sharp and sudden as if he’d been enflamed to set the record straight all of a sudden. You narrowed your eyes at him and began moving trying to swing your legs inside your car. Lewis grabbed your thighs keeping you in place.

 “I didn’t.”

 “You’re a fucking liar Lewis! I was there. I saw it!”

 “You saw what I wanted you to see.”

 Your anger sparked then.

 “What the fuck does that mean? You wanted me to see you fucking other bitches? You wanted me to see you for the asshole you are. Fine! Done! I see it! Let me the fuck go!”

 He didn’t.

 “I thought I could do this. I thought I could easily do this because it was to protect you, it was to keep you safe.”

 “What! What’re you talking about?”

 Lewis rubbed across his face. He looked haunted, exhausted, and broken. “If you’re this bad off to end up in the hospital and now this—fuck. I fucked up.”

 You didn’t know what he was saying much less couldn’t understand anything. Nothing made sense.

 “Y/N, listen—I—shit—okay listen.”

 He continued to stutter as he tried to formulate a sentence but every time nothing came out. You sat there giving him time to get it together but realized your idiocy midway through. Groaning, you shoved him again.

 “Get the fuck away. You’re full of shit!”

 Managing to push him away this time, he fell backward. You swung your legs inside your car then reached for the door. Lewis put his hand on yours, stopping you.

 “Wait, please.”

 “Fuck you, Lewis. Fuck you and fuck this!”

 You shook your hand free then slammed your car door. It took you seconds to start your engine and revved out of there like F1’s newest driving talent. As you sped away you looked in your rearview mirror at a still kneeling Lewis with his hands planted atop his head. Your heart broke seeing it but that only angered you more.

 That night you struggled to get any sleep. You were in between states of hysterical crying and obsessive staring and stalking. You couldn’t make sense of anything, couldn’t understand his behavior. One minute he was telling you that all he wanted to do was live life in the fast lane and fuck around then he was holding you so tenderly and apologizing. You were getting mental whiplash from his change up and it infuriated you.

By the time the sun rose, you were still awake. As you were getting ready to shoot a message informing everyone of a personal day, you received a message telling you about a meeting at the company. You groaned knowing you did not have the energy to sit through a 2-hour meeting. You shot Toto a message telling him you’d have to pass blaming a medical appointment for the absence then decided to use the company gym to burn off some steam.

 After you’d changed and had gotten in your car, you drove to the company barely aware of anything happening around you. All of it felt like muscle memory to you. The reason why it had, you realized once you’d parked your car, was because you hadn’t driven yourself to the company. You’d driven to Lewis’ London house instead.

 “What the actual fuck, Y/N?”

 You dropped your forehead on your steering wheel and groaned. Muscle memory indeed, you thought. You didn’t see his car on the street and thought maybe he wasn’t home. Deciding now would be a good time to clear your stuff out of his place you entered the code into the alarm system then drove in once the gates opened. After parking on what Lewis had distinguished as your parking area you closed the garage door then let yourself inside using the keys he’d given you.

 This was another thing you couldn’t understand. If you were just a conquest and an easy target, why give you keys to his houses, why tell you the codes to security systems? You took off your sneakers and took them with you as you passed a large blown-up photo of the two of you hung right in the foyer. You stood stunned staring at it. You remembered this day. He’d shut down the top of the Empire State Building for a one-on-one date. Then after wining and dining you all night while whispering sweet words the entire time, he’d asked his guard to snap a few pictures. You remembered the words he’d whispered in your ear in this exact picture.

 “You make me want forever.”

 You closed your eyes feeling the tears. Willing them away you fought against your emotional side. You were tired of crying, tired of going around and around with this and him. It was time to end things, once and for all. You cut your eyes at the photo then hurried upstairs to his bedroom. The memories and his scent hit you like a ton of bricks when you walked in and again you fought it all. You couldn’t afford to get sucked back into the memories that were clearly a lie.

 After finding one of your overnight bags in his walk-in closet, you began filling it with your things. It surprised you how much of your stuff was here. It wasn’t just clothes and toiletries. It was shoes, bags, make up, jewelry, hair things, work files, even gifts you planned on giving to friends. Sighing, you packed everything you’d came with while leaving anything he’d given you. They would only hurt to find later.

 It took longer than you’d anticipated but after an hour you had three bags filled with your things. As you passed the photo again on your way out you paused to look around once more. Though it was just a few seconds, you knew you’d missed your window when you heard a car pull in.

 “Shit.”

 Hurrying, you dragged your bags behind the large bar then ducked down out of sight. The door opened and shut then you heard a heavy sigh.

 “I thought she’d be at the meeting,” Lewis said.

 “If you want to talk to her just call her,” one of his guards said.

 “If she wanted to talk to me, she would have answered the other hundred times I called.”

 “Then tell her the truth.”

 Lewis sighed again. “How?”

 His voice was close now. You guessed he was standing right at the bar. You made yourself smaller and hoped he didn’t come behind it.

 “I’m sure when you start the words will come.”

 The door opened again then you heard the voice of his friends. You’d spent a lot of time with his friends getting to know them. They were cool people.

 “When are we clubbing,” Miles asked.

 “Not in the mood,” Lewis said dismissing the idea.

 “Come on. Just because your shorty left you doesn’t mean we all gotta suffer.”

 “She ain’t leave him bruv, he made her leave,” Daniel clarified.

 Your attention piqued. What did that mean?

 “You still haven’t explained all that yet. What now?”

 Suddenly, the bell rang, and everyone got quiet.

 “For fuck’s sake. Really?”

 Lewis sounded beyond upset, beyond fed up. A few moments of silence passed, and you were almost tempted to peep your head out to see what was happening. When he began speaking, you remained in your hiding spot.

 “Y’all gotta hide. I don’t want her knowing you’re here and I’m sure it’ll be clear.”

 You heard hurried footsteps.

 “Nah, behind the bar,” Lewis said.

Your eyes bugged knowing you were going to be caught. Shit, you thought. It was Daniel who saw you first, his reaction was quick, simple widened eyes before he ducked down. Andrew saw you next and though he paused he didn’t comment until he was ducked down. Now Miles, when he saw you, he had to be the one.

 “What the--.”

 Daniel yanked him down before he could say much else though.

 “We’re good,” Daniel said.

 “What the fuck are you doing here?”

 “Getting my stuff,” you whispered back to Miles.

 Their eyes dipped to the bags around you, then they nodded.

 “What the fuck is going on?”

 They all shrugged in unison.

 “What’re you doing here?”

 “There he is,” a feminine voice spoke.

 Your spine stiffened. There’s no way. It couldn’t be, you thought. The clinking of heels was so loud, so distinctively her.

 “What do you want Aleeza. Also, I don’t remember inviting you in.”

 Your eyes widened. What the hell was your father’s evil trophy wife doing here?

 “Trust me, you’re going to want to make sure no one else hears what I have to say.”

 The door slammed and echoed throughout the first floor. When you looked over three pairs of eyes were on you as if waiting for you to explain. You shrugged. You had no idea why she was there.

 “What more do you want? I’ve done everything you’ve asked. I have nothing left to give.”

 Aleeza laughed, it sounded like the wicked witch in Snow White’s cackle. The three men across from you shuddered all at once. You scoffed to yourself thinking if they only knew the half of it.

 “Aww poor baby. Are you hurting? Get over it. she was nothing, less than nothing, an insignificant speck.”

 “Why do you hate her so much?”

 Were they talking about you?

 Aleeza scoffed disgustedly, “Why do I hate the so-called perfect Y-F-N/Y-L-N? Pick a reason. Her father chose to marry her mother over me. He had the nerve to pick her over me saying he loved her and not me. It should have been me. It was supposed to be me! All anyone ever talked about was her stupid, perfect mother. Oh, Alisha is so pretty, she’s so kind, she’s so smart. My god just wanted them to shut up. So, I bided my time until the bitch died then I swooped in.”

 You were so stunned right now you hadn’t moved an inch. Your eyes remained bugged and glued to one particular spot in the bar as you listened. Slowly, the pieces all fit together. You never knew why she didn’t like you, never even knew of the rivalry she’d had with your mother. You felt like you were an outsider looking in on an episode of F1’s WAGS (Wives and Girlfriends).

 “I’ve hated her from the day I met her. Why would I love that bitch’s daughter. Then I realized she is just like her. All anyone can talk about is Y/N. She’s so beautiful, so kind, so smart, so skilled. Uuuugh!”

 A loud crash of something breaking had all four of you jumping out of your skin. As if this were campfire horror stories, the four of you grabbed hands. This shit could go south at any moment.

 “Then I saw you and I wanted you.”

 Lewis let out a disgusted huff.

 “The plan was to seduce you slowly or use a little force to get you into my bed and ya’ know.”

 The four of you now made up your faces as if you were going to be sick. Hearing all this, you actually might get sick very soon.

 “Then I saw how you were with that bitch. I don’t know how anyone else didn’t notice. I put two and two together and realized you were fucking the slut. Just like her whore of a mother, taking what was mine!”

 Another crash of shattering glass filled the room.

 “So, I had the perfect way to give that little slut what she deserved, what her mother should have gotten. That’s why I got the idea to have you do my dirty work. I mean I already had the goods on you. If Jordan found out you were fucking his precious daughter born of true loves kiss from his soulmate, you’d be out of Mercedes quicker than you can say 103 first place standings. They wouldn’t have mattered.”

 “So that’s why you made me do what I did,” Lewis said sort of in disbelief.

 Aleeza cackled again and again the fellas shuddered.

 “Made you? Lewis come on. All I said was either end things brutally by breaking and shattering her heart so she’d never recover, or I’d tell daddy dearest,” Aleeza said.

 Your eyes widened even more. She was blackmailing him.

 “Of course, you being you and so damn delicious, manly and sexy was ready to throw your hard-earned career to the side come what may just for that little slut. I can’t believe you were willing to have me tell her father and have him rip up your contract rather than break her heart.”

 She laughed maniacally and you swore outside got as dark as midnight though it was probably only noon. Across from you, Miles had a panicked look on his face, and he was mouthing; “what the fuck” over and over.

 “I could never do that to her.”

 “Yet you did. Tell me was it only because I said she’d end up in another unfortunate accident like her car accident a few months ago?”

 A disturbing thought filled you. Was Aleeza behind your car accident? The police deemed it a drunk driver who’d ran out of the car to avoid being caught but could it have been a hired goon who had been paid to plow into you as you stood outside the Gala that night waiting for Lewis to bring his car around? Goosebumps peppered your flesh as so many emotions coursed through you.

 “Was it you?”

 As if he’d heard your thoughts, Lewis asked what you wanted to know.

“Me?”

 “Were you behind the accident then?”

 A long silence filled the room as you anxiously waited for her answer. You were ready to leap over the bar and beat it out of her. Thankfully she spoke.

 “If only that idiot hadn’t fucked up the first accident. She’d be long gone by now and I would be the sole inheritor to Jordan’s estate when he dies. So, this plan worked well too. Anyway, it was you who decided how to break her heart. You made that choice all by yourself and might I add what an incredible choice it was. My, my when you go you go all out.”

 She cackled some more.

 “After everything we’d been through there was no way she’d believe anything else.”

 He sounded dejected and heartbroken.

 “And believe you she did. That show was incredible. I was just—”

 She slow clapped for him, and each heavy-handed clap echoed sounding more and more like the annoying clash cymbals.

 “Watching it I couldn’t believe it. Then when she revealed that you’d taken her virginity, holy hell what a fucking plot twist! The little slut really wasn’t a slut but a total prude.”

 She cackled some more, and the fellas looked sympathetically to you. You didn’t know what the hell to say at this point. This was too much.

 “Bravo. You did more than a job well done. Shattered her heart, broke her faith in men and stole her virginity.”

 “Where in your plan did you figure you’d get me in your bed after this?”

 Another long silence.

 “I mean after you’d pulled off all of these disgusting things revealing your true face. Why would I ever sleep with you?”

 “You’ve slept with far worse.”

 He scoffed.

 “Then I can still blackmail you with your deflowering of your boss’ innocent daughter oh and your falling out which put her in the hospital. Either you give me what I want, or you would have done all this for nothing, broken her heart, and lost your career.”

 Her heels clinked again a few times. She wasn’t walking away she was getting closer to him.

 “Come on Lewis, it’s easy. All I want is that part of you that you’ve given to soooo many before Y/N.”

 “Dick. You did all of this for dick.”

 “Your dick and to ruin that little bitch. Do I have to ruin you too? Why not keep the one thing you have left.”

 “I can tell Y/N.”

 She laughed again. “Like she’d believe that incredulous story of me making you sleep with other girls. Hell like she’d speak to you. I’ve seen the freeze out. Yikes, it’s almost like you broke her heart.”

 “You’re evil, pure evil.”

 “Watch it, Lewis. Your career and future are in my hands, or should I say my pussy. Please it and you will find salvation.”

 She chuckled. “You have 2 days. Buh-bye.”

 The annoying sound of her stupid heels clinked across the floor until they faded with the close of a door. No one moved for several moments. You didn’t think you could. Suddenly Miles sprang up.

 “What the Five Nights at Freddy’s fucking hell was that shit?!”

 Slowly, Andrew then Daniel stood as well. You could hear Miles carrying on, but you didn’t hear the words out of his mouth. You were too lost in your thoughts, too lost replaying all of that and trying to let it digest. You went over the entire thing in your head. You were so lost in your thoughts that you’d tuned everything out.

 When you saw Daniel come back over and stand in front of you, it barely registered. He stooped and held his hand out for you. Slowly, you pulled some of yourself together enough to acknowledge him there. When you took his hand, he stood leading you up.

It took a few moments but when Lewis saw you from across the room, he bolted to his feet. His eyes were wide as he crossed the room eyes never leaving you.

 “Y/N?”

 You stepped back though you were separated by the bar top. Lewis stopped.

 “Wha—what are you doing here? How’d you get in? Did—did you hear that?”

 He looked over to Daniel then back to you. A few moments later, he came around to you bucking his feet on your bags. You watched as the realization washed over him.

 “You—you didn’t come for me. You came to pack your things.”

 He sounded so hopeless, so hurt. Now more than ever you wanted to go to him, but you couldn’t move. What the fuck was real and what wasn’t? You were struggling to wrap your head around any of this.

 “What the fuck!”

 It was all you could say. Though there were plenty of words to say in your head, those were the only ones that made it through your lips. You could feel yourself beginning to panic. It was something you’d thought you worked through after the accident. You’d gone to therapy and everything to get over the panic and anxiety nearly being run over had caused. Now here it was again.

 Your airways tightened and soon the struggle wasn’t to wrap your head around this soap opera, it was to breathe. The less air you could get, the more you panicked. Soon you were surrounded by Lewis and his friends, each dictating to you how to breathe with panicked serial killer eyes or telling you to calm down as they were clearly not calm or straight up panicking along with you.

 The last thought you had was you were going to die surrounded by the four stooges. Then everything faded to black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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