#chai-un save me

[mephistopheleswasrobbed]

I'm mad.

Home worked all night on his apology pancakes.

He was ready. He wanted to tell Peach, to apologise and ask for forgiveness. And he wanted to do it himself. Because he knew this was something he had to face himself, just like Peach had to face his ghost himself.

He says so explicitly.

And yet, Kid (and Kan) took that away from him. They took his chance to confess, apologise and ask for forgiveness. They took his chance to save what is most important to him. His family with Peach and Pangpang.

Kan told Home to confess the sooner the better from the beginning. Aside from Home himself, she's the only one who has the full picture so she warned him.

And then over the course of the episode she kept puttng pressure on Home.

And it worked! Home was steeling himself and preparing to confess. Hell, he even almost did it right there in the kitchen after overhearing Chai-Un making his own confession.

But he was interrupted. And after he saw Peach asking for forgiveness from the person he almost killed through his food, Home wanted to do the same. Because he knows how much food means to Peach and that Peach would know it to be a meaningful gesture from Home because he knows that Home has never cooked before. That he must have worked hard to make this for him. So he asked for a little more time. So he could prepare his apology properly.

(Now, of course, one could maybe argue that Home needs to find his own way to apologise instead of just copying Peach. And I can accept that argument though I stand by my opinion that it would have been meaningful for them in this manner. That Home saw Peach getting forgiven by Chai-Un and thought he could have the same, easy conclusion. This one I don't accept because Home did almost confess before Peach got forgiven.)

Kan heard this onversation. She knew Home asked for just a little more time.

And I guess she didn't believe him? Or she thought someone from the Vimarnsukman family would stop him. We don't yet know the full extent of her backstory but it probably involves Home's family harming someone she cared about. So I'm willing to give her that she probably has a reason to not believe the confession would happen. But she could have talked to Home about it again. One day. Not even, maybe half a day. That's all Home needed.

But instead she chose to take the oportunity from him. For revenge or whatever her goal is.

And she didn't even do her due dilligence.

Not that what really happened is so much better than drunk driving but this is just one more thing painting Home as an irresponsible rich brat when he didn't drink. In fact we learn that he just doesn't drink and drive in general to the point that his associates are annoyed by it.

Not that he deserves a medal for it but we learn that Home was a lot less immature three years ago than we were lead to believe, maybe even less than at the beginning of the series when he was hiding his demons behind a facade of rich-bratness. When he finds out that Baby#13 lied to him about her boyfriend he leaves. He doesn't cause a scene, he doesn't start shit with the boyfriend he just leaves. He removes himself from the situation (but the situation keeps calling until he forgets to pay attention to the road and thus begin our troubles.) All to say that Home was actually not as bad as Kan clearly thinks.

And Kid. After the last episode I thought that maybe he wasn't that bad after all. Just trying to protect his nephew with any method he had at his disposal. It wouldn't have made what he had done ok, but at least understandable. Many people would do whatever they can to protect their loved ones from any harm, and if you grew up with wealth, surrounded by people who can fix any mistake by throwing money at it, a "solution" like this isn't surprising. But from what we saw this episode it seems I was wrong. It seems what he truly cares about is not Home, certainly not Home's happiness but rather the family name and the money.

Three years ago we saw that Home wanted to do the right thing. He wanted to help Peach.

But he was scared and didn't know what to do so he made a mistake. He called his uncle whom he trusted. And his uncle told him not to help, told him to run, to let him "solve" the problem for him.

And now, three years later, Kid tries to "help" Home again, but Home tells him "No. Let me do this myself." And Kid proceeds to do no such thing. He just "fixes" everything for Home as before. Without even talking to Home first. Because he doesn't even consider that Home has something more important to him than money and reputation.

So he also takes away Home's choice and sends attorny Yai after Home's family. To intimidate the people Home loves into not suing them. Because that's what he thinks of them. Just two poor leeches who will take any opportunity to take their money. Nothing more.

But he's wrong. Peach and Pangpang weren't sticking around for the money. They didn't even take any of it in the end. They were sticking around for Home. And by making them think that Home thinks so little of them that he would send his lawyer to threaten them instead of facing them himself, he puts the final nail in the coffin of Home's family.

And attorny Yai was there for that. He saw that and it still didn't even occur to him that they might have done wrong by Home (let alone Peach but he wouldn't care about that anyway).

No, he has the gall to tell Home that there's NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT. That loosing his family, having the people he loves think that he never cared about them, is THE BEST FUCKING SOLUTION.

This. This is his best solution. Home's hard work and best efforts to become a better person, to grow into someone whose family could maybe forgive his past wrong-doings, to be the version of himself that owns up to his mistakes and asks for forgiveness, on the floor, broken and trampled on.

No one outside of it takes their family seriously. Not Kan who was supposed to be one of them. Not Kid who thinks he's the only family Home needs. Not Yai, not Suradech who witnessed them get closer and still ended up following orders.

Not the smug-faced bastard Best who had to poke his nose where it didn't belong.

And btw, can we talk about how it was not only Home's agency that all of them took away. It was also Peach's. Did anyone ask him if he wanted his face and story plastered all over the internet? Did anyone stop to cosider how he might feel to have the truth revealed to him like this? To have the worst possible version of Home shoved in his face by everyone aside from Home himself? No, of course not.

The only one who tried to stop this, the only one who could see how much Home and Peach care about each other and thus knew that this could't be it, was Pangpang.

Because she's the only other real member of their little family. The only one willing and capable of feeling the home they had built for themselves.

And it really hurt to see the fall out. To see Home break, desperately trying to make the people around him see what they took from him, trying to understand how they could hurt him so bad in the name of helping him.

(damn Newwie that was some excellent scream-crying)

To see Peach turn on the shower in their old apartment so his sister wouldn't have to hear him cry.

(ouch)

To end the episode on that shot of Peach looking so small as he's crying in the corner of their old bathroom.

To give one final punch in the face with Home looking even smaller in the end credits. Sitting alone and eating fast-food like before he had them. At the table where Pangpang first called them a family. With all the reminders he has left of their time together on the table before him.

[darlingnemesis]

thank you for the tag @vettelclitoris and @marionvonwolfstadt !!!

last song: ozone - chase atlantic

favorite color: black, cherry red, blue, pthalo green

currently reading: concepts of physics by hc verma (i would commit crimes to read literally anything other than my textbooks these days)

last movie: little women (i think????)

currently watching: old f1 races

sweet, savory or spicy: varies with when you ask me

current obsession: formula fucking one (2010s grid save me)

tea or coffee: coffee (chai is my only exception)

last thing I googled: un igf 2024

no pressure tags : @sacharowan @xnd8 @hideitaway @all-hail-the-witcher

[phenomanemone]

oo5

cw: references to csa and the effects of it over the system.

Ed sits on the porch, observing the rolling, lush hills of Risembool— his home town. He regards them with a detached sense of nostalgia, with his cheek resting against his mechanical fist.

Today, he wears a black undershirt along with his typical black leather pants. His feet are bare, soaking up the warmth of the wooden step they rest on.

"They're late," he observes with the mildest sense of annoyance; he understands their struggle, but he doesn't like being under constant scrutiny without the others there to field it.

There's no response.

"Hey, I know I'm not supposed to talk to you, but I wanted to thank you for your help lately."

Ed addresses the figure sat upon the rustic barrel, back against the wall of his home.

"Oh," I say, blinking. Adjusting.

"Sorry, if that breaks the process. I just felt like I had to say something."

I smile politely. "It's quite alright. I'm happy to help."

"Your job is kind of important, huh? I hope we're not keeping you."

"No less important than anyone else's," I respond honestly. "It's nice to get out, instead of filing illegible paperwork all day.”

Ed pulls a face at the mention of paperwork, but he sees an opening to sate his curiosity.

"You work with Kuro, right? What's he like?"

"Mysterious," I answer immediately. "He works in the shadows. It's rare to ever catch him around, but he's usually watching. He's called the Dreamkeeper, but I think he just kind of deals with the subconscious."

Ed nods, "I guess that explains how he does the cat thing, then."

Then, he notices two figures trudging up the path to his house. He perks up, only to be confused when he saw Chai was not being accompanied by Sage, but another man.

"Hey, sorry about the wait!" Chai calls, cheerful as he approaches the house. "This is Hunter. Sage is caught up with work."

"Nice to meet'cha," Ed says as he stands to shake Hunter's hand. He notes that Hunter's physical appearance is more stable and solidified than Chai's.

He's tall. Being taller than Ed isn't really a feat, but he's a few inches taller than Chai. He's dressed in black slacks and a white tank top, with a dog tag on a chain around his neck. His posture is somewhat slouched, and he has shaggy hair falling into his dark eyes.

His eyes are startlingly un-emotive, but he smiles kindly in greeting as he offers a soft, "Likewise,"

His grip is firm, but unassuming.

"I made tea this time," Edward announces as he pushes open the door. "I know drinks were kind of a big deal, but I felt better with one."

There is no hall, this time. They enter straight into the sitting room. This time, there is a fluffy beige rug spanning between both couches.

"I like tea," Hunter says, surveying the room.

"Thanks," Chai says as he drops into his regular seat with a level of familiarity. "I'm not usually a tea guy, but I won't say no!"

Ed grins as he sits, leaning forward with his arms crossed over his knees. "Maybe with time, we can get you something stronger."

Chai places a hand on his heart, pointing to Ed. "My man,"

Hunter sips his tea quietly.

They all ignore the cartoonish black cat that wanders in from the kitchen and begins to lick its paw.

"Didn't your brother have a thing with cats?" Chai asks.

"Yeah," Ed remembers fondly. "Al was always saving strays from the rain. It wasn't practical— we didn't have any way to take care of them! —but that didn't stop him."

Chai laughs, and Hunter smiles behind his tea.

"Anyway, where'd they find you? What role do you play around here?" Ed asks Hunter, who scratches his neck awkwardly.

"I'm not exactly sure," he replies softly. "I'm just... here and available."

Chai throws an arm around Hunter's shoulder like they're old pals.

"Sage isn't doing well, after, y'know. Becoming unwound. She has a lot to face." Chai explains. "Not that I don't— this guy's here to help me out."

Ed glances between them, curious. He had assumed Hunter was Sage's replacement.

"How does that work?"

Chai removes his arm, and instead folds his hands into his lap. In response, Hunter rests his arm over the back of the couch with his legs spread. He looks confidently nonchalant, and receives a messy smile.

"Well," Chai says quietly, forcing down a mouthful of tea. "Sage is like, head of this group made up of mostly women. When she unravels, so does the group. On a good day, they struggle to tell themselves apart, so on a bad day..."

Silence descends. Edward hums, understanding.

"I know... of my origins, so to speak." 

Ed had gleamed an idea through the grapevine, that Chai reflected a perspective of abusive circumstance 

"So, these girls, carrying different levels of emotional memory from male anger and serial quasi-incestous sexual abuse, unravelling around the figure they see as a big brother..."

His voice is thick and refuses eye contact, staring instead at the mug cradled in his lap. It's black, with a fantasy map scrawled along its outside.

Hunter watches with a silent understanding, whilst the reality of Chai's origin begins to creep upon Ed— along with a dawning sense of horror and sympathy.

"Anyway, I don't know how to interact with them on a good day," Chai lets out a shaky laugh before forcing his posture to loosen up. "so my bro is here to give me a little support."

"Little sis can't be around when big bro is hanging out with his friends." Hunter says quietly. 

Chai pales in response, before patting his pocket in an almost panicked matter, asking "Is it okay if I smoke in here?"

"Yeah, go ahead," Ed responds quickly, pushing the ashtray closer.

Chai lights up and takes a heavy drag.

"I know they're obsessed with being around me. Why wouldn't they, after what they experienced? Like, that sensation is following them everywhere. Then, they have to unravel with me, and— well, you know what it's like to lose structure, right? Or do fictives not experience that?"

"Uh, I think for us, it feels different." Ed responds thoughtfully. "Keep going."

"Well—" Chai frowns. "They see me as this comforting big brother type who is there to make them feel safe and special. I like that role, and I'm happy to fill it. We've even set a few music triggers up for when they need me. I'm happy to be that. But when I get tangled up with them like that, they realise I'm not this perfect "dream boy". I experience negative feelings, and negative feelings associated with men has become a serious trigger."

Ed takes a moment to think.

"You can't just ask them to stop rooting around in your head when you guys lose structure?” he asks, knowing it's a stretch.

This no longer feels like a job to him, but something that needed to be seen through.

"Hah— well, they're stubborn." Chai responds, taking a moment to enjoy his coffee. "It's almost a compulsion. As soon as you say it, they're already doing it. I started wondering if this whole ordeal has been put into place to prevent them from digging into things mindlessly. They get quite obsessive over it, and it consumes their thoughts, day and night."

Ed genuinely doesn't know how to respond. Instead, he changes the subject.

"For the sake of the medium, I need to point out that Sheska just kinda disappeared a little while ago, and Hunter is now observing."

Chai nods his agreement, moving with the change in subject easily.

"Sheska, that's so weird. We call them Violet, or Vi usually." He admits. "Just kinda the overworked guy in archiving. I forget they're also Sheska."

"I don't think that's all they are." Edward responds cryptically, swirling his tea with grin. "I'm starting to see the outlines, so maybe there's something to this plan after all."

[arrowheadedbitch]

Someone has requested I drop the recipe so here I go I guess

The original:

1. brew a bag or two of chai tea directly in your kettle, drink all the tea but forget to take the bag out

2. Let it sit for a few hours, forget about the chai completely

3. Fill up the kettle because you want some green tea, do not check the kettle first

4. Put your green tea bag into your mug, poor the boiled water directly onto the green tea bag

5. Let the realization that you just mixed chai with green tea hit you as you see the color of the water is not water color

6. Ignore it and press on, put a little vanilla coffee creamer in it to sweeten and some honey you got from the dollar store that has too much corn syrup in it to legally be called honey

7. I think that was it, let it cool, drink up your un tea

The remix:

1. After finishing your first cup, realise there's still water in the kettle so poor the rest into your mug without taking out the green tea bag

2. Notice there isn't enough chai water left, ignore this and add more vanilla creamer to make up for this, eyeball a similar amount or maybe slightly more of the not honey into this as well

3. Take a sip and let the horror that this tastes like whole milk for some reason sink in

Untea 2, wtf i didn't do anything wrong this time:

Sorry yall, this one uses a discontinued tea........perhaps discontinued for a reason..

I don't know what happened or how I fucked this up so I'll go through the whole story

1. Make some Think Geek Pirate Chai because your girlfriend loves chai lattes and you also like them and you want to try it with a different chai, dump like a teaspoon or something of Pirate Chai directly into the kettle because your kettle has a filter to keep the leaves from getting in your cup

2. Drink all of it with your gf, realise it's just spiced chai but hey, it's still good

3. Make more tea with the leaves already in the kettle, realise it's list some flavor, fill a teabag with new leaves and put that in the tea, drink all of that

4. Clean the old leaves out of your kettle, don't do a perfect job but get most of it

5. Make Think Geek Blood Orange Zombie Tea, boil water on its own, don't add leaves to the kettle this time, clean out the tea bag and reuse that bag, fill it with two half teaspoons like you did with the chai, accidentally grab too much dried fruit in the spoon and not enough leaves

6. Poor the boiled water, add some unflavored creamer to it, drink the tea and realise it tastes like nothing with a slight creamer after taste, FUCK

7. Try to save it by grabbing a random tea bag, grab a raspberry herbal tea thing and add it to the concoction

8. Realise it still tastes like not tea but to the left of the way it just did....at least it's kind of berry ish like ish?

9. Swear off of herbal tea forever

And that's all three recipes so far! Hopefully it will NOT happen again!

Edit: I almost forgot about the not honey, sorry, added it into the recipe, forgive me

I just accidentally made un-tea?????

I made green tea, but I forgot there was an old bag of chai in the kettle, so I mixed chai water with decaf green tea, then I mixed in like a half table spoon or something of that honey from the dollar store that they aren't legally allowed to call honey because there's too much corn syrup in it and some almond milk and a single drop of coffee creamer because we ran out and???? It tastes like??? Nothing????

It has LESS flavor than my tap water! HOW do you EVEN-

I think I made a flavor that's only perceptible to shrimp, that's the only explanation

[miekasa]

iced tea

+ pairing: levi ackerman x reader

+ genres and warnings: college au, levi is the best not yet boyfriend au, erwin would definitely be an insufferable project partner to have but you gotta love him au

+ summary: there are three rules of night class. come on time, come prepared, and come with snacks. you forget about rule number three. luckily, levi’s there to save the day.

There’s only one appeal to signing up for a three-hour night class, and it’s that you only ever have to muster up the will to attend once a week. It’s a sacrifice, but it definitely cuts down on the temptation of skipping like you would a normal, one-hour section course. Just one and done.

Plus, you have Erwin with you in this class. Is he a little bit of a professor’s pet and consistently overly chipper every class despite knowing he’s about to endure 180 minutes of lecture? Sure, but at least you don’t have to suffer alone.

Really, it’s not as bad as it sounds, especially if the course is interesting enough, or easy enough, and luckily for you, yours is both. Not to mention, your professor is brilliant, actually entertaining, and does her best to keep the class engaging—she’s funny in the dorky, lovable professor kind of way. And she gives you short, ten to fifteen minute breaks at every hour mark just to make sure everyone doesn’t completely lose their minds.

It’s a commitment, but you’ve grown to actually enjoy it. As long as you follow the three rules of night class: come on time, come with your notes prepared so that you don’t get upstaged by Erwin, and come with—

“Fuck,” you curse, watching as Erwin pulls out one of his many, tiny, organic, boxed juices. The ones meant for children with soy sensitivities that Erwin claims are packed with more nutrients.

“What’s up?” He questions, more shocked than concerned, at your sudden profanity as he sets his juice box in the right corner of his desk.

You pout. “I forgot to bring snacks.”

Come on time, come with your notes prepared so that you don’t get upstaged by Erwin, and come with snacks. Those were the only three rules of night class, and you’d completely forgotten about the most important one.

“Oh,” Erwin grins, pulling a chocolate bar from his lunch bag and taunting you with it, “Sounds like a you problem.”

You snatch a piece from the top corner, stuffing part of it into your mouth to spite him; but you regret your choices as soon as it melts on your tongue.

“What the fuck—is this mint chocolate?” you complain, swallowing the rest of the sweet with disdain.

“Yes it is,” Erwin huffs, grabbing the remaining stolen bit from between your fingers and popping it into his mouth, “And it is delicious.”

“You’re an actual menace to society.”

Erwin crinkles his nose at you, “A menace to society with snacks for the next three hours.”

His comment makes you groan, albeit a little dramatically, and you slump back in your chair to debate your options. Class doesn’t start for another twelve minutes; you could try and run to the student center quickly to buy some last minute snacks, but the line was probably already lengthy with students of similar trains of thought, meaning you’d be late if you stuck it out, which would leave you violating rules one and three tonight. Erwin makes you sit in the front row with him, and you were not willing to take the late walk of shame with an armful of snacks in tow.

You could wait it out until the first hour break, but they’ll probably be sold out of anything good by then, not to mention the race to beat out the line again. If you played your cards right, you could order food during class and time it so that it was delivered during your break, but that was risky.

Alternatively, you could try and sprint to the concessions stand near the library, but going there and back was so much further away than the student center; you’d probably end up late, too.

“Hey,” you call to Erwin, refraining from rolling your eyes as he sets all six thousand and twenty eight of his colored pens on his desk for the evening, “Is Hange still on campus?”

“No, they have work today.”

You groan. Why did Hange have to be so responsible and good with their time-management skills. They was your last hope. Unless—

“Do you think Levi will bring me Starbucks?”

“Probably,” Erwin shrugs, humming to himself; but then he thinks it over, replying again with a knowing smirk on his face, “Actually, definitely. If he’s still here, but he probably is. You know him.”

You pout, the possibility of Levi being home is high, but so is that of him being cooped up in his favorite library. Either way, he would likely be studying right now, and you’d hate to disturb him, but desperate times call for desperate measures. 

[sent 6:47pm] you — leeevaaaaaaaaai are you still on campus

[received 6:47pm] leeevaaai — yes — why, what’s wrong

[sent 6:47pm] you — uwu — wanna bring me something from starbucks before class — i have my 3 hour lecture today and i forgot snacks :—( — and erwin won’t share his organic $1500 whole foods gummy bears with me

[received 6:48pm] leeevaaai — i told you i don’t like the smileys with the noses, they’re ugly — should you even be drinking coffee this late, you’ll be up until the ass crack of dawn

You scoff audibly, and Erwin takes this as an invitation to peep at your screen. Your comment about his snacks does not go unnoticed, as bitterly munches on his (yes, in fact, organic and gluten-free, as if it being mint flavored wasn’t criminal enough) chocolate bar.

[sent 6:48pm] you — that’s RICH coming from you mister

[received 6:48pm] leeevaaai — you’re being awfully rude to someone you expect to buy you a $7 drink

[sent 6:48pm] you — hehe sorry i loooove you leeevaaai — venti iced chai latte — light ice

[received 6:49pm] leeevaaai — do you think i don’t know your overpriced starbucks order by now

[sent 6:49pm] you — uwu :—)

[received 6:49pm] leeevaaai — but you’re getting a grande, i’m not made of money — and it’s punishment for sending another ugly nose smiley

[sent 6:49pm] you — un-uwu

“I don’t blame him,” Erwin chuckles, scrunching the wrapper from his now finished bar between his fingers.

You flick him away, ignoring the turning heads of your classmates as Erwin’s pens fall in the aftermath. It’s seven o’clock on the dot when your laptop pings loudly with an incoming message from Levi—and a subsequent groan from Erwin, who breeches your personal space once more to press the mute button on your keyboard.

[received 7:00pm] leeevaaai — where are you sitting

[sent 7:00pm] you — front row to the right — erwin’s idea not mine

Levi spots Erwin’s bright blonde hair before he sees you, scoffing to himself as he makes his way to the front of the room; a tray with three Starbucks cups, and a plastic bag in tow. Erwin sees him first, too, waving at him as he crosses from the left side to where the two of you are seated.

“Aw, Levi, you brought me one!” Erwin all but squeaks, reaching for one of the other drinks with grabby hands after you take your iced drink from the tray.

But Levi pulls one hot drink from the tray for himself, and pulls the remaining one out of arm’s reach. “As if,” he grumbles, bringing his own cup to his lips. 

“You’re the best, Levi,” you smile, sticking your tongue out at Erwin. Levi only offers you a small nod as acknowledgement. He extends his left hand now, the plastic bag sliding off his wrist and onto your desk, silently.

Confused, you lean forward, setting your drink down to open the contents of the bag. Inside, there are two granola bars, a bagel, cream cheese, some kind of sandwich, and a small Nutella to-go cup with mini breadsticks attached. When you look back up at Levi, he simply shrugs, sipping on his drink again while a light pink dusts over the tips of his ears. 

“You said you forgot your snacks,” he explains, “I knew you’d text me the whole time, bitching about how Erwin wouldn’t share his zero-calorie lemon rinds if you didn’t have your own.”

You take note that the chai he brought you was, in fact, a venti, and not a grande like he’d threatened, and that the granola bars in the bag are not only your favorite flavor, but from your favorite brand, too; and you find yourself smiling as you decipher the very clear message underneath Levi’s less than poetic words.

“What’s in the other cup?” Erwin asks, pointing at the remaining drink. Levi carefully lifts it from the tray, and sets it down on the other corner of your desk, a safe distance away from your laptop.

“Tea,” he says shortly, “So you don’t lose your mind after inhaling your coffee.”

“This is tea, too. Chai is tea, Levi.”

“Tea without milk or six kilograms of sugar,” Levi corrects you, “Or ice.”

“Iced tea is tea, you know.”

Levi doesn’t respond to that with anything but a glare. You smile at his stoicism. Erwin thinks the whole exchange is kind of weird, and wonders where you possibly get the gall to make fun of his taste in snacks when you can’t even realize you’re in love with a man who refuses to identify iced tea as a valid form of tea. 

“I better go before she starts,” Levi speaks, a single hand referencing to your professor behind him, who looks just about ready to begin class for the evening, “Call me when you’re done, I’ll drive you two home.”

“Oh, you don’t have to, Erwin and I usually take the b—”

“Brat,” Levi cuts your words short, “Call me when you’re finished. I’ll be in the library.”

You throw daggers at him with your eyes, but your resolve is waning, once again, as you closely read at the implications of Levi’s promise. You accept, and Erwin is more than happy for the free ride.

Levi hums. “And eat the bagel before the Nutella.”

“You’re annoying.”

“I’m a saint,” Levi deadpans, placing the palm of his hand on the top of your head affectionately, “Call me.”

He walks away before you can debate again, just as your professor speaks into the microphone to grab everyone’s attention. You scrunch your nose, hands flying to your hair to smooth out the aftermath of Levi’s playfulness, before opening your notes for the evening.

“You’re really dense aren’t you?” Erwin asks, one eyebrow raised, but the overall look on his face is more than fond, “It’s kind of cute.”

“Huh?” you question, cheeks stuffed with food as you bite into your bagel, “Dense about what?”

Erwin shakes his head, turning back to laptop with an exasperated expression, the fondness in his eyes fading quickly. “Hopeless,” he mumbles, “The both of you.”

[imminentinertia]

10 Fandoms, 10 Characters, 10 tags

@boysbeloving tagged me, thank you, sweetie darling!

It will be long and there will be gifs so this goes under a read more.

KinnPorsche the series, Tankhun Theerapanyakul Yeah yeah hot men everywhere and also Erika but Tankhun is the most amazing character in this plot-bizarre production-drippy unhinged delight of a TV show. He dresses wonderfully, he's a beautifully creative bully, he has some of the best lines, he's all for killing Tawan, he adopts Chay on sight, he may seem like just an over the top camp spoiled brat but there's a sinister undertone there that I also like a lot. I honestly want KPTS to get a season 2 primarily to see what Tankhun does.

Hannibal, Francis Dolarhyde I'm not putting this here just because I happen to love Richard Armitage. Or maybe I am, a little. But the thing is, I also happen to love Dolarhyde in the book Red Dragon and I was a bit worried (but not really, because Hannibal was a very intelligent and creative show) about what they'd make out of him. It turned out they made him true to book Dolarhyde and downright mesmerising, and upped his intensity quite a bit. The scene with the original watercolour, oh my god.

The Fall, Alexandria The Fall is a wonderful film and an aesthetic joy, but behind the beauty and the heavy emotion it's actually a brilliant commentary on reception theory, which is something I'm very very interested in (there may be a uni degree involved here). I mean, Lee fucking hot Pace is in this and my fave character isn't his, but the little girl who interprets and visualises Lee's character's stories. They really nailed it with the casting of her, too.

Killing Eve, Oksana Astankova/Villanelle Best. Villain. Ever. She's deranged and her clothes are amazing and she's funny and murderous and competent. And she has Jodie Comer's expressive face. For two seasons this was great but not even Comer could save the rest, sadly.

BBC Robin Hood, sir Guy of Gisbourne Shush. He's hot and troubled and he's historically wildly un-correctly dressed Richard Armitage. (The show was actually pure fun for a while but it caught feelings eventually, and the third season has some pain to it, especially for and about Guy)

SKAM, Eva Kviig Mohn Je suis Eva. I relate so much to her that it can't be healthy. Never mind Isak and Even whose season caused SKAM to go viral, Eva's season is important to me on a very personal level.

We Best Love, Yu Zhen Xuan He corrects his behaviour around others so little and I adore that. Zhen Xuan has zero fucks to give (except about Pei Shou Yi), and I don't care how paperthin and odd the plot of the show is, how questionable the kiss scene is, how magnetic Gao Shi De is or how beautifully heartbroken and pissed off Zhou Shu Yi is (well I do care a lot about some of this, but), as long as Yu Zhen Xuan is around I'm happy.

Good Omens, Crowley Book-Crowley was a massive favourite from his first slithery appearance, and show-Crowley is David Tennant who's misplaced his hip joints. What's not to love.

Deadwood, Al Swearengen Historically uncorrect like cocksucking whoa? That's evidently fine with me as long as it's a Western and gritty and filthy and violent and sarcastic and with Ian McShane. He was splendid as Odin/Mr Wednesday in American Gods too.

The Honourable Woman, Nessa Stein We're not strictly in a fandom anymore, I think, as I wasn't an all out fangirl about this show, but oh my dear gods what Maggie Gyllenhaal does with Nessa Stein. Her performance is haunting and the character is complex and flawed and gorgeous.

Fuck, I should have slipped in Gillian Anderson in something/anything. Oh well.

I don't think I talk to ten people here these days, to be honest. If you have read this far you're so tagged because wading through this proves that you love me.

[lovestereo]

All anonymous single songs requested between September and December 2020 under the cut. Sorted alphabetically by artist's first name from A to Z.

The askbox, along with the anonymous option, will open again soon. Please read my updated FAQ before making a request in the future.

Abhi Dijon - Distant Love

Adeline - Twilight

Ace Tee

ALEXA - Villain, Burn Out, Kitty Cat

Aluna - Envious, You Know You Like It

Alvaro Diaz - Lo Que Te Duele

Amerie - 1 Thing

Andrea Valle - WIYLL, Treat

Angel Haze - Black Dahlia

Anik Khan - Unfair, Choturdola

Anna Wise, Xavier Omär - Easy

ANRI - Cat’s Eye

Aretha Franklin - Who’s Zoomin’ Who?

Aries - FOOL’S GOLD

Arijit Singh - Naina

Ari Lennox - Chocolate Pomegranate

Ariza, Astyn Turr - Sink or Swim

Ashanti - VooDoo

ASTRO - 장화신은 고양이

Audrey Nuna - Soufleé, Damn Right

Aventura - Un Beso

Bad Bunny - Desde el Corazon

Banda El Recodo - Entonces Que Somos

beabadoobee - coffee, The Moon Song

Berhana - Wildin’

Bigflo & Oli - Libre

Big KRIT - 1999

Björk, serpentwithfeet - blissing me

BLOO - Downtown Baby

Blood Orange - Jewelry, Dark & Handsome

Bob Marley - Satisfy My Soul

Bren Joy - Sweet

Brittany B - Company

Brownstone - If You Love Me

Bryson Tiller - We Both Know, Set It Off

boy pablo - te vas // don't go 

CHAI - Plastic Love

Che Ecru - Backflip

chelmico - disco (bad dance doesn’t matter)

Ciara - Thinkin Bout You

Coi Leroy - VVS

Deftones - Knife Prty

Denai Moore - Cascades, 

Destiny’s Child - Killing Time

Destin Conrad - In the Air

DICKPUNKS - Addicted to TV

Dominic Fike - King of Everything, Acai Bowl

Duckwrth - Start a Riot

Earl Greyhound - Back and Forth

Earth, Wind, & Fire - Reasons

EDEN - Why Don't We

El Alfa - Suave, Scarface

Eli Sostre - New Level

ENNY - Peng Black Girls

Erykah Badu - Didn’t Cha Know

Famous Persona - Ivy

Fefe Dobson - Ghost

Fujii Kaze - Hedemo Ne-yo

Gemini - Going

gesu no kiwami otome - Battling

Glass Animals, Denzel Curry - Tokyo Drifting

GRAY - Just Like The Rain

Haru Nemuri - 春ねむり

Hiroshi Sato - Only A Love Affair

Hojean - Let Me, Over 85

IMFACT - NANANA

Inez - Oumi

IU - Peach

IZA - Esse Brilho É Meu

Jadal - Hamm o Bala

Janelle Monáe - Look Into My Eyes

Jamelia - Superstar

Janet Such - Morning

jeerena montemayor - rose

Jessie Reyez - Far Away

JOE CHO - How Much

Jorja Smith - On My Mind

junglepussy - what you want

Justin Park - On The Low

Justin Nozuka, Mahalia - No One But You

Kaytranada, Janet Jackson - If I Was Your Girl, Glowed Up

Kelis - Caught Out There

Kelsey Lu - Church

Kevin Kali, Syd - Do U Wrong

Keyshia Cole - I Remember

Kishi Bashi - Say Yeah

Kiyo - Ikaw Lang

KOHH - ひとつ

Kojey Radical - Cashmere Tears, Can’t Go Back

Krewella - Rewind

Lakeyah - Female Goat

Larc en Ciel - Lover Boy

Lil Ghost - Unicorn

Lim Jae Bum - For You

Lisa Fischer - How Can I Ease The Pain

Little Simz - Selfish

Lypla - I Want You Back

Maluma - Medallo City, Hawái

majiko - 命に嫌われている。

María José Llergo - Niña de Las Dunas

Mario - Never

Mariya Takeuchi - Let’s Get Married

maye - my love

Michael Kiwanaka - 

M.I.A., The Weeknd - Sexodus

min.a - Hour 24

MINA - Good Person

Mika Nakashima - Resistance

Mitski - Cop Car

Monchy y Alexandra - Te Quiero Igual Que Ayer

Moses Sumney - Indulge Me

Muzie, SUMIN - Thinking About You

Necronomidol - Dawnslayer

Ne-Yo - Because of You

Nilüfer Yanya - Same Damn Luck

Nito

No Rome - 1:45AM

NO1-NOAH - Stuck on Stupid

Omar Apollo - So Good

ORβIT - UNIVERSE

oresama - cute cute

Pa Salieu - Betty, B***k

PENOMECO - Okay, Tempo, ODD ep

Phillipa Soo - Ultraluminary

pH-1, Yerin Baek - Nerdy Love

Piso 21, Feid - Querida

Prince - Controversy, Erotic City

Q Lazzarus - Love Dance

Quay Dash - U.A.F.W.M

Ramy Essam - Saura

Rauw Alejandro - Detective

Reol - Echo, Syrup

Romeo Santos - Obra Maestro

Roy Woods - BB, She Knows About Me

Rum Gold - Save You

Satellite Young - Don’t Graduate, Senpai!

Sech - Relacion

Skie Dadios - Unang Sayaw

SG Lewis, Lucky Daye - Feed the Fire

Shenseea - Good Comfort

Sonder - Care

SURAN, Coogie - Into the Abyss

Syd Hartha - ayaw

Tatsuro Yamashita - Fragile

tobi lou - sadderday

TOKYO’S REVENGE - THOT!

Tommy Genesis, Charli XCX - 100 Bad

TOSHIKO HAYASHI(%C) - Stay A While

the vowels they orbit - selos

The PropheC - Jane Je Ta

THEY - Red Light Green Light

Tom Misch, Yussef Dates - What Kinda Music

Toro y Moi - yeah Right

Tracy Chapman - Fast Car, The Promise

TXT - Cat & Dog (English Version)

Valerie June - If And

Wildhood - Double Dark

Xavier Omar - Deep End, Just Get Here

Wizkid - True Love

Ye Ziming - JENNIE

Yoon Mirae - Thin Lines

Young K - Enemy, Is It

Yuna - Forevermore, Stay Where You Are

Yung Bleu - You’re Mines Still

Yumepedia - Tick Tock

[nyappyforeverbr]

100 Questions&Answers: Miku MEMORIAL ARTIST BOOK

In addition to several photos AN CAFE Memorial Artist Book also brought an interview and a special questionnaire of 100 questions with each of the 5 members. Here is the translation of the 100 questions with Miku's 100 answers. Translate: Japanese>Portuguese by Hiyori Portuguese>English by Shiro 001 How many sushi can you eat? Around 25

002 Which sushi's ingredient do you like? Thread-sail Filefish (a type of fish)

003 If you have to eat something until you die, what it would be? Sushi

004 Which kind of lamen do you think has the strongest flavor? Tonchan no Tsukemen

005 What do you in like in a hot drink? Chai tea latte of Starbucks

006 Which mixture do you think most matches rice? Mentaiko (Pollock roe)

007 What flavor of chewing gum do you like? Mint

008 What flavor of candies do you like? That ones with flavor of energetic drinks

009 Soba or udon? Soba NOTE: Soba is a pasta made from buckwheat and udon is made from wheat only

010 Of your whole life, what was the most painful experience you've ever faced? (referring to physical damages) When I was in elementary school, I participated in the multi-sport gymnastics and had those gymnastics formation, I fell from above

011 One part of body that demonstrates more confidence? Eyes

012 What do you think about old times? Mice

013 If you had won 100.000 yen what you would make? (Around 900 dolars) I would put in saving

014 And about 100.000.000 yen? (Around 900.000 dolars) I would have fun with friends.

015 I know this is kind out of reality, but if you could have a wild animal, which would be? It would be a gorilla. They look like good companions.

016 To Cook, wash clothes, clean the house. Which one do you do better? Cook

017 If you were going for a walk with your girlfriend, where would you go? The night view is beautiful on the edge of the beach

018 Where would you spend your last days of life? (If you were an old man where would you want to live?) and why? In a countryside. I hate places with too much people

019 Is there anyone you consider to be the strongest person in the world? My mom.

020 An anime character, manga, etc. that you consider to be the strongest? Son Goku of Dragon Ball

021 If you could turn into some anime character or something like this, who would you choose? Toma Kamijo from Toaru Kagaku no Railgun

022 First CD you bought? Koigokoro of Nanase Aikawa

023 Your preferred winter song? You of Kumi Koda

024 Your preferred xmas song? None

025 Forgetting that you were part of a band, if you were about to start one, what would it take? And why? Guitar. I would also play some instrument and some girl (s) in the band

026 And what would be the name you would choose for the band? Dark into the dark

027 If you went to a desert island and could only take three things, what would it take? My puppy, water filter, instant noodles.

028 Do you know how to swim? Yes

029 Something you would never want to happen? To have contact with death

030 If you were a child, how would you like to be called? Seira-chan

031 Do you speak when sleeping? If yes, talk about something already happened to you. It seems I do this frequently. A lot of people already got irritated with this (lol)

032 If it was your last day of life, what would you do? I would enjoy a great meal

033 What was the longest time you could stay awake? 48 hours

034 If you could become someone important in history, who would you be? Toyotomi Hideyoshi

035 Do you use a lot of emoticon on LINE? Have you been using LINE lately? I use a lot of colorful letters

036 What's the biggest lie you've ever told? I never lied like this

037 Write the kanji that you think represents 2019 and why? 成 (turn into, become, get, grow, elapse, reach)

038 The most expensive thing you bought this year? A house

039 The most convenient thing you bought recently? A light epilator

040 A number from 0 to 9 that you like more than others? 3

041 Your longest finger without the middle finger, is it your index finger? Ring finger? Or are they both the same size? My index finger

042 The word you most speak? Dangerous

043 At what time do you think "I'm being bourgeois"? When I only eat things I like it

044 If you could have powers, which one would you choose? Power to shrink people

045 If there was a magic word that said things would happen, what would it be? I can

046 If you have to choose a follow up for the curry what would it be? Breaded pork

047 Some kind of punishment game you'd like to avoid? Ippatsugyagu (short joke games)

048 Do you like the time zone? Why? I like when it’s 10 o'clock in the morning. The sun in this part of the day gives a feeling of comfort

049 How much would you pay for a T-shirt? Up to 2,000 yen (Around 18 dollars)

050 Tell something you would say to you 10 years ago. Are you going to be prominent?

051 If it was 50 years ago, what would you be doing? Would have a grandson and an amusement park

052 How could you imagine yourself 10,000 years ago? It seems that I would not exist

053 What is the first impression you have of each member of An Cafe? Takuya a chihuahua; Kanon a penguin; Yuki the Usopp (one piece) and Teruki a fox

054 If underwear could have another name, what would you call it? Delicate

055 A live that you can not forget? The birthday live at Tiara Koto

056 During those 15 years which member has changed the most? Takuya

057 Do you prefer the traditional breakfast or bread? Traditional

058 A teacher you always remember? Teacher Takeno

059 The most fun song in a live? Seishun TRAIN

060 Where do you most like to do a live? Takadanobaba AREA

061 A thing you most buy at a convenience store? Black Coffee

062 If you were not an artist, which career would you choose? Artist Businessman

063 Which city goes through your head before a live? Nakasu

064 A stationery item that you like? High-tech mechanical pencil

065 An electronic device that you like? Electric shaver

066 A person you think is erotic? Yuki or Kanon

067 What do you think of the vocaloids? I did not understand the question

068 A TV show that you like? Ariyoshi Hanseikai (TV Show)

069 What's the first live you've been? Of Kagerou band

070 How many pairs of shoes do you have? I think about 20 pairs

071 What is your average time in the bath? 1 hour

072 A mobile app you liked right away? Google Maps

073 Do you use a computer for what purpose primarily? Work

074 What have you found funny lately? The strange faces actors make in essays

075 Who would you most like to meet? My grandfather

076 When you were a kid, who was your superhero? My dad

077 The flavor of Umaibo that you like? Salad flavor Note: Umaibō or "delicious stick" is a small corn cylindrical snack from Japan.

078 An entertaining artist that you like? UN-JASH Oshima

079 First time you did a makeup? When I was in middle school

080 Talk a little bit about your first live. I was very nervous and could not do the MC, so everyone laughed at me, except the members who were angry

081 Do you prefer night or day? Night

082 When you can't sleep what do you do? Drink

083 Not counting your part in the band, which musical instrument do you like? Guitar

084 The oldest memory you have? When I was a child they had just bought me a toy and I soon broke it and my father became very angry

085 What color do you like? White, black and pink

086 What is your favorite mascot? I don't have

087 Where do you usually buy your clothes? Paul Smith and TAKEO KIKUCHI

088 Are there any manga or magazines that you buy frequently? None in particular

089 How long you already waited for a person who did not show up? 1 hour

090 How many times can you do sit-ups? Around 300 times

091 At this exact moment how much you have in your wallet? 300 yen (around 3 dollars)

092 Which Cocoichi curry do you think is the most spicy and the topping? The standard curry with sausage topping Note: Cocoichi is a Japanese restaurant franchise specialized in curry

093 Subject at school that you was better? Mathematics

094 Subject at school that you was worst? Japanese and sociology

095 What do you do before each live? I go to the stage and ask for everything be fine

096 What is the essential item for a live? Hearing protection

097 Are there any objects that you can not throw away? A plush I won

098 What do you usually buy at McDonald's? French fries

099 What do you use at bedtime? When it's not cold just a underwear

100 Leave a message to Caffekos I'm so grateful that we found each other. You are the treasure of my life, I love you all.

[eng-hypnosismic]

[TL] JPN/ROM/ENG lyrics of Battle Battle Battle

Ramuda:「僕に勝とうだなんて、メっだよ☆」

Jakurai:「私が特別に礼儀を教えてあげよう」

Ramuda: “Boku ni katouda nante, meddayo ☆”

Jakurai: “Watashi ga tokubetsu ni reigi wo oshiete ageyou”

Ramuda: “You want to win, against me? No way ☆”

Jakurai: “I shall give you a special lesson on courtesy.”

Doppo:

ごめんなさい ごめんなさい なんてのは もうごめんだ

いきなりきた正念場 誰も俺を止めんな

ここで雑魚はぶっ潰す 破り捨てたルールブック

俺のラップは お前の脳に直で届く ブルートゥース

見た目だけの ギャンブラー 潰すまるで ダンプカー

運が尽きたヤングガンは 所詮一生アングラ

俺の名前はDOPPO 常にHOT まさに本物

この場空気勝敗 まで全てコントロール

Gomennasai gomennasai nante no wa mou gomenda

Ikinari kita shounenba dare mo ore wo tomenna

Koko de zako wa buttsubusu yaburi suteta ruurubukku

Ore no rappu wa omae no nou ni choku de todoku buruutuusu

Mitame dake no gyanburaa tsubusu marude danpukaa

Un ga tsukita yangugan wa shosen isshou angura

Ore no namae wa DOPPO tsuneni HOT masani honmono

Kono ba kuuki shouhai made subete kontorooru

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry” - I’m so done with saying this

Suddenly the moment of truth; nobody can stop me

Crushing all you small fries right here right now the rulebook torn and tossed aside

My rap will enter your brain; a direct bluetooth signal

A gambler that’s just a poser crushed like a dump truck

Your luck is running out, young gun, your whole life is shady

My name is DOPPO, always HOT and the real deal

This battle’s air to it’s outcome, all is under my control

Dice:

はっ 笑わせんな 所詮テメェはリーマン

大人ぶってみたところで ここじゃラッパー未満

金も勝利もリスクない とこにゃ巡らねー

こちとら文字通り 命がけでメイクマネー (Ya! Ya! Ya! Ya!)

安定なんてもんは はなからマジ興味ねー

本気で熱くなれる 物と言葉 用意してく

常に腹はくくる それが Dead or alive

俺は首輪ついたペットじゃない

Haa warawasen na shosen temee wa riiman

Otonabutte mita tokoro de koko ja rappaa miman

Kane mo shouri mo risuku nai tokonya meguranee

Kochitora mojidouri inochigake de maiku manee (Ya! Ya! Ya! Ya!)

Antei nante mon wa hanakara maji kyoumi nee

Honki de atsukunareru mono to kotoba youishiteku

Tsuneni hara wa kukuru sore ga Dead or Alive

Ore wa kubiwa tsuita petto janai

What? Don’t make me laugh! You’re just a white collar

Looking like you’re a pretend adult, right now you’re less than a rapper

Money and victory too, no risk? Don’t even think about it

I literally bet my life to make money (Ya! Ya! Ya! Ya!)

Stability? From the start I seriously wasn’t interested

Whole-ass it (1), prepare your passionate words

Always prepare for the worst that’s Dead or Alive

I ain’t some collared pet

Hifumi:

何を偉そうに 語っているペラペラ (Foo! Foo!)

聞こえがいいだけ 所詮中身ペラペラ(Foo! Foo!)

要は一か八かだけの運任せ (Foo!)

僕は一二三 GIGOLO (2) 一つづつを積み重ねる(Foo! Foo! Foo! Foo!)

uh 時代錯誤 そん格好

なにが夢野幻太郎

いくら書いても売れない本と

増えるだけのペンだこ(Foo!)

僕は未来見てる全てイメージ次第

お前は過去を生きる 明治時代 (Hahahaha!)

Nani wo era sou ni katatte iru pera pera (Foo! Foo!)

Kikoe ga ii dake shosen nakami pera pera (Foo! Foo!)

Youha ichika bachika dake no un makase (Foo!)

Boku wa Hifumi GIGOLO hitotsudzutsu wo tsumi kasaneru (Foo! Foo! Foo! Foo!)

uh jidai sakugo son kakkou nani ga Yumeno Gentaro

Ikura kaite mo urenai hon to fueru dake no pen dako (Foo!)

Boku wa mirai miteru subete imeeji shidai

Omae wa kako o ikiru Meiji jidai (Hahahaha!)

What a grand speech you’re pulling on and on (Foo! Foo!)

Empty words that just sound nice again and again (Foo! Foo!)

Basically living on the edge, relying only on luck (Foo!)

I am Hifumi GIGOLO earning my all one at a time (Foo! Foo! Foo! Foo!)

uh that look, wrong era; what even is a Yumeno Gentaro

Your books won’t sell no matter how many you write

The only thing that’s built up is your callous as you write (Foo!)

I have my eyes on the future; it all depends on your image

You’re living in the past, in the Meiji era (Hahahaha!)

Gentaro:

uh なるほど 一理ある

確かにあなた リアル

できれば一緒に プロジェクト

なんて無理 嘘ですよ

温故知新こそ 未来開く鍵

足元も見えなきゃ つまずくばかり

いつでもまっすぐが正解じゃない

がなりたがりのバカには わからないか

uh naruhodo ichiri aru

Tashikani anata riaru

Dekireba issho ni purojekuto

Nante muri uso desu yo

Onkochishin koso mirai hiraku kagi

Ashimoto mo mienakya tsumazuku bakari

Itsudemo massugu ga seikai janai

Ganaritagari no baka ni wa wakaranai ka

Uh I see, you have a point

Certainly you are real

Hopefully we can collab on a project

Or not, that’s impossible; ‘cause I’m just lying

Learning from the past is the key to unlocking the future

Not looking where you’re going, tripping all over the place

Always heading straight ahead isn’t the right answer

A howling imbecile wouldn’t understand that, though, would he?

Matenrou:

The Battle Battle Battle yeah

The Battle Battle Battle uh

シンジュク 麻天狼から つなぐファンデーション

The Battle Battle Battle yeah

The Battle Battle Battle uh

Shinjuku Matenrou kara tsunagu fandeeshon

The Battle Battle Battle yeah

The Battle Battle Battle uh

From Shinjuku Matenrou, a connected foundation

Fling Posse:

The Battle Battle Battle yeah

The Battle Battle Battle uh

シブヤ Fling Posse King 取って またかっとばそう

The Battle Battle Battle yeah

The Battle Battle Battle uh

Shibuya Fling Posse King totte mata kattobasou

The Battle Battle Battle yeah

The Battle Battle Battle uh

Shibuya Fling Posse Take again the title of King with a slam

Matenrou:

The Battle Battle Battle

Fling Posse:

The Battle Battle Battle

Matenrou:

The Battle Battle Battle

Fling Posse:

The Battle Battle Battle

All:

決着付ける　今日の勝者を決める

Ketchaku tsukeru  kyou no shousha wo kimeru

Let’s settle this and decide today’s winner

The Battle Battle Battle

The Battle Battle Battle

Jakurai:

付き合いきれない馬鹿げた定説

私(わたくし)は経てきた 貴重な経験

貴方のラップは 子供だましの

戯れごと 望むは心がわりを

黙っていれば いい気になる バカなら一気に

黙らせるその口　チャック さらに縫い合わせていく

閉じるその癇に障る 高い声はシャットダウン

君の未来不安定 気づけば僕のクランケ

Tsukiai kirenai bakageta teisetsu

Watakushi wa hete kita kichouna keiken

Anata no rappu wa kodomodamashi no

Zaregoto nozomu wa kokoro gawari wo

Damatte ireba iiki ni naru baka nara ikki ni

Damaraseru sono kuchi chakku sarani nuiawasete iku

Tojiru sono kannisawaru takai koe wa shattodaun

Kimi no mirai fuantei kidzukeba boku no kuranke

I’ve had enough of your foolish theory

I’ve been through valuable experiences

Your rap is mere child’s play

Of a practical joke, a wish in place of a heart

If I remain silent, you become conceited, a true fool in one breath

I will close that mouth of yours, zipped shut; and then, I’ll stitch you up

I’ll put an end to your temper tantrum, that shrill voice will be shut down

Your future is unstable; beware, my patient

Ramuda:

えー?やだー(やだやだー) クランケって どうせならば フランケン

みたいにかっこよくて 強い奴じゃないと不満でーす！（ぷん！）

いくらお口チャックしても すぐに開くビリビリー(ビリビリー！)

癇に障るならば なおさら まずは右耳ー！

左耳ー！どちらも響かせるよ どうかな?（な！）

何度だって懲りず 復活できる今日から

「人の過去の事を何度も 持ち出すんじゃねー」

約束(Foo!)じゃなきゃ 容赦しないよってシナリオ

Eee? Yadaa (yada yada) kurankette douse naraba furanken

Mitai ni kakko yokute tsuyoi yatsu janai to fuman deesu! (pun!)

Ikura okuchi chakku shite mo sugu ni hiraku biribirii (biribirii!)

Kannisawaru naraba naosara mazu wa migimimii!

Hidarimimii! Dochira mo hibikaseru yo dou kana? (na!)

Nando datte korizu fukkatsu dekiru kyou kara

「Hito no kako no koto wo nandomo mochidasu janee」

Yakusoku (Foo!) janakya yousha shinai yotte shinario

Eeh? No way (no, no)! A patient? Then you’re Frankenstein! (3)

But you're not nearly as cool and strong as him, so I'm just disappointed! (hmph!)

Even if you zip my mouth, I’ll snip it open (snip!)

Try to stop my tantrum, but I’ve still got more coming; first, the right ear!

Now the left ear! What’s it like hearing it echo all around you? (Hey!)

Knock me down time and time again, I’ll come back stronger from today

“Quit draggin’ someone’s past up to the surface over and over”

Without a promise (Foo!) I won’t forgive that scenario

Dice:

これでどうだ いい加減 俺らこそが進化系

Kore de douda iikagen orera koso ga shinkakei

How’s that? That’s enough, we’re the type that evolves

Gentaro:

何が麻天狼?　ここで終わり ペイアテンション

Nani ga matenrou? Koko de owari pei attenshon

What on earth is ‘Matenrou’? Let’s end it here, pay attention!

Dice:

この国では絶滅する サダメこそが狼

Kono kuni de wa zetsumetsu suru sadame koso ga ookami

In this country, wolves (4) are fated to go extinct

Gentaro:

小生たちは次の時代を 生きることにドーパミン

Shouseitachi wa tsugi no jidai wo ikiru koto ni dopaamin

We’re living high on dopamine in the next era

Ramuda:

楽しくなっちゃう ほらしちゃいなってギブギブ！

そしたら僕らオネーさんのとこにすぐにイくイく！

Tanoshiku nacchau hora shi chai natte gibu gibu!

Soshitara bokura oneesan no toko ni sugu ni iku iku!

Let’s have some fun, hey just let it go already,  give up give up!

Then, we’ll go go right now to onee-san!

Fling Posse:

俺らPosse 見せる絆 ナイスコンビネーション!

今を生きることがモチベーション

Orera Posse miseru kizuna naisu conbineeshon!

Ima wo ikiru koto ga mochibeeshon

We’re a Posse, we’ll show you our bond, a nice combination!

The motivation to live in the here and now

(Fling Posse Posse!)

Doppo:

あーうるさいうるさい 黙れ 御託ばっか並べて

Aa urusai urusai damare gotaku bakka narabete

Aah, quiet, quiet, shut up! This impertinent clamor, over and over

Hifumi:

絶滅のサダメって ここが変える 分かれ目

Zetsumetsu no sadamette koko ga kaeru wakareme

The “fate” of extinction will be changed here, the turning point

Doppo:

どんな辛い過去もヒックリ 変えすだけだろ

Donna tsurai kako mo hikkuri kaesu dake daro

Whatever pain we suffered in the past, we’ll overturn it, right?

Hifumi:

それができる仲間たちと 組んだこのDivision Battle

Sore ga dekiru nakamatachi to kunda kono Division Battle

We can do that, banded together as comrades for this Division Battle

Jakurai:

独りよがりばかり 罠にはまり込んだやつらには

わからないだろうが そんなものは全て偽り

Hitoriyogari bakari wana ni hamarikonda yatsura ni wa

Wakaranai darou ga sonna mono wa subete itsuwari

Complacency is nothing but a trap for these fools to fall into

Don’t you know everything about it is false?

Matenrou:

人の為に出す力で 救えるものハウメニー?

それを歌い 握る拡声器

Hito no tame ni dasu chikara de sukueru mono hau menii?

Sore wo utai nigiru kakuseiki

For the sake of humanity, with our power, how many can we save?

That’s why we hold and sing into the megaphone

Doppo:

(麻天狼）

(MATENROUUU)

(MATENROUUU)

Matenrou:

The Battle Battle Battle yeah

The Battle Battle Battle uh

シンジュク 麻天狼から つなぐファンデーション

The Battle Battle Battle yeah

The Battle Battle Battle uh

Shinjuku Matenrou kara tsunagu fandeeshon

The Battle Battle Battle yeah

The Battle Battle Battle uh

From Shinjuku Matenrou, a connected foundation

Fling Posse:

The Battle Battle Battle yeah

The Battle Battle Battle uh

シブヤ Fling Posse King 取って またかっとばそう

The Battle Battle Battle yeah

The Battle Battle Battle uh

Shibuya Fling Posse King totte mata kattobasou

The Battle Battle Battle yeah

The Battle Battle Battle uh

Shibuya Fling Posse Take again the title of King with a slam

Matenrou:

The Battle Battle Battle

Fling Posse:

The Battle Battle Battle

Matenrou:

The Battle Battle Battle

Fling Posse:

The Battle Battle Battle

All:

決着付ける　今日の勝者を決める

Ketchaku tsukeru  kyou no shousha wo kimeru

Let’s settle this and decide today’s winner

The Battle Battle Battle

The Battle Battle Battle

TL notes: 

We couldn't find a Dice-like way to say "get serious," so we took the opposite of "half-assing" something and got "whole-ass." Blame Prom.

Since Hifumi’s name is also a pun of 1-2-3 and gigolo is a pun of 4-5-6, this line could also mean that “1-2-3-4-5-6, I earned my all one step at a time”

A reminder than Frankenstein is the name of the doctor and not the monster!

‘Matenrou’ is written with the character for ‘wolf,’ thus Dice’s diss about wolves going extinct.

[chanelbagsandcigarettedrags]

Songs on current rotation #21

Zhu - Save Me

Sade - Kiss of Life (Kaytranada Edit)

L’Imperatrice - Erreur 404

Naji - Fallen

MMZ - S Line

CHINAH - Real Thing?

Lomepal - 1000ºC

Oceanvs Orientalis - Tarlabasi (Be Svendsen Remix)

Khruangbin - August 10

Chiara Noriko ft Skye Chai - Anything

Damso - Fais-moi un Vie

Wafia - I’m Good

Fabz Pi - Feel Alive

ZHU - Guilty Love

Other playlists here

[ayushwanders101-blog]

Kodaikanal: The "Mist-ical" love affair

I was in Chennai while pursuing my Degree in Psychology. While being there I have explored most of the part of the city life and weekend getaways like Pondicherry and Mahabalipuram. Though these places were satisfactory, deep down I always had this urge to visit mountains again as I use to do back at my home town Delhi.

To be honest, in the beginning, I was sceptical about mountain ranges in South India because I already was in love to the ranges of the Himalayas in North, I was a big-time advocate of those beautiful hills in Uttarakhand and Himachal region.

So… here is my story from Just A Hill Away,

NOTE: The following travel journal was planned on “A low budget” due to traveller’s personal choice, hence minimal luxury but un-compromised safety were essential elements of this trip.

The Expense of my trip will be mentioned at the end of this blog...

Prior Arrangements:

1. Pre-booked train tickets in a General compartment (As I was going towards the mountains AC was not required). Travel time was almost 9hrs.

2. Pre-booked a verified hotel (3-star) through a third-party booking website. I prefer sharing rooms as it saves expenses.

3. Minimal luggage (depending upon the weather)

Day 1: The beginning

Started my journey around the evening to the central railway station via the public transportation service of the city to catch the Palakkad express. I prefer night travel mostly as sleep-time allows me to skip some monotony of train route without getting tired.

Day 2: The arrival

Kodaikanal is a city in the hills of the Dindigul district in the state of Tamil Nadu, India

I reached Palani station (destination) by morning 7am, from the station I choose to walk around 2kms to reach the bus depot to board a direct local-bus to Kodaikanal (bus service is good but has designated time slots) there is a counter to pre-book bus seat (sometimes there can be overcrowding). The bus departed at 9am (till then I spent time listening to the music and roaming around munching snacks) and there started the beautiful scenic journey to the "Princess Hill"

      (Bus Ride to Kodaikanal with Palani Temple View from the front seat)

After breaking for light snacks, it took around 2.5hrs. of scenic bus journey to reach Kodaikanal bus depot.

Time: 12.15pm

Finally, It was the time to inhale the cold mountain air and exhale all the worries. I swear mountain air has some sort of magic to dissolve all the tiredness and stress.

I headed to the hotel which I have already booked and checked-in. The hotel was beautiful with a pretty natural ambience around. I got into my room and took a hot shower first and headed for lunch in the nearby market. The market has a wide variety of pocket-friendly cafes and eateries serving most of the common India cuisine, you can also find outlets like Domino's Pizza. I like to eat local foods while travelling because of 1. its "LOCAL" 2. its budget-friendly.

Places I visited on DAY 2:

The Union Church

Lutheran Church (1932); A Gothic styled architecture

lake side shops 

Evening by the Kodai lake

DAY 3: The Hike

Places I visited on DAY 3:

The Suicide Point

- This is one of the most magical views in Kodaikanal though it's boundaries are covered with large grills for safety purpose. You can try bread-omelette here and light snacks from the local shops.

The Pillar Rock

- There's a ticket for the entry and a separate ticket for carrying a camera.

The Guna Caves

- It's a beautiful place to experience a "mist shower" on the face if you go in the right season, although the caves have been restricted now to enter.

- There is an entry ticket for the venue

The Moir Point

- Requires an entry ticket

- Here you can also buy a tourist bus ticket if you are interested in going further in Kodaikanal hills.

The Pine Forest

- The forest is amazing in itself, full of pine trees; makes a good photo backdrop, will remind you of "harry potter".

- You can also enjoy horse riding here

The Fairy Falls

- Located on an isolated inner village area

- Offers a good solitude and a rich calming experience

The Liril Falls ( Liril Soap advt. was filmed here)

- This is a natural "movie studio"

- You can stop here to buy natural soaps, oils and other organic products from local shops

Upper Lake viewpoint

- Experience the whole Kodai in a snapshot from here.

The whole hiking experience was overall great but also requires a moderate level of endurance and stamina, the walk offers magical views with birds chirping sounds, small waterfalls, dogs, birds, the aroma of Eucalyptus oil etc.

Most of the spots I mentioned here had local snack points to keep you fill but they all open only after 10am.

I hiked from Kodaikanal to Moir Point, it took around 3hrs. to reach. While returning back I hitch-hiked half-way back, the roads up-hill is very decent and is well maintained, though early mornings these roads are quite empty and vacant, so one needs to also take care of one's safety, on some stretch you may even find it difficult to spot a single person. Although it appeared safe to my experience.

I reached back from the hike at around 2pm and realized it was a Sunday, which in a way is something special for Kodaikanal, there is a weekly market which sets up on the street of Kodaikanal where the merchants sell a range of things from Mobile phone to pickles and spices to "magic mushrooms" ahhmm yes!! you will be approached by the sellers, don't worry.!! but CAUTION!!

Day 4

So this was my last day in Kodai, woke up as early as I could and I had already covered most of the places, hence I decided to move on a bit slower pace and enjoy the true essence of the place as if a localite from this place. But first things first, so I confirmed by return bus timings from the Kodaikanal bus depot (it was early evening). Roamed around the whole day with my camera, documenting the life in this small town. And yes I had enough time to explore a few places which were in the vicinity.

Places I visited:

A morning walk in The Bryant Park in the cold mountain breeze

A walk-way with the breathtaking valley by your side 

Boating at Kodai Lake

God bless the People who keep benches at such heavenly places

Highlights of the day:

- Bought some Home-made Chocolates and wine

- Bought organic soaps and eucalyptus oil

Snapshots from the eateries during my visit:

Andd..we seize the day with Chai

DAY 5: The Return

Reached Chennai early morning and guess what I attended the college same day :)

The total expenditure of my trip to Kodaikanal came nearly INR.3200/- for 5 days including everything.

[hirakdesherrani]

What are some of ur fav scenes from season 1 of IB (and DBO since you watched it)?

Yaar, anon, I really had to think for this one. 

Okay here goes:

The Obros doing aarti together for the first time, their parents can go take a hike lol

Omkara throwing away his statue in anger and then crying, as he overhears Pinky taking jibes at Jahnvi for raising her sons badly.

Om consoling Rudy as Shivaay is in the hospital after Gayatri’s attack 😭

First Rumya scene in the hospital 

ShivKara saving Rudy at the pub, after pulling his leg.

Annika and Sahil scenes 😭😭 (I just love their bond, its a lot like me and my younger brother. Both our brothers are younger but wayyyy wiser than us lol)

The ShivKara and Obros scene after Om takes excess sleeping pills. “Tujhe har cheez ka haq hain par mujhe chhod ke jaane ka nahi” (or something like that) 😭😭😭

Omkara teaching Shivaay and Rudra how to say ‘sorry’ and ‘thank you’, meanwhile the girls on their own trip about the pathetic boys.

Annika singing the iconic “Billu ki Shaadi hogi”😂😂😂 song, which later became the motto and tagline of IB. 

Soumya tricking Rudra as Love Angel and making him to lameass stuff to make a fool of himself over Romi

The sarso ka saag episode, the entire family having dinner like a normal fam 

The Janmashthami episode “Billu ki pant phatt gayi” 😂😂😂

Rakshabandhan scene between Annika/Sahil and Om/Soumya. 😭😭

The entire Mallika track (thats the reason I started watching the show, ‘cos Surbhi Jyoti came for a cameo) esp. the Shitia letter, Shivaay with his past, present, and future, and Mallika explaining everyone what her issue was. 💜

The Phukat Raja episodes where Sahil solves the mystery and Shivika + OmRu are on the chase of the fake video girl in that chawl. 😂😂

The scene where the Obros get high on meds after saving Annika from the goons. “Main aasmaan mein udhna chahta hoon” Also, Omkara’s love for Riddhima’s pink cushions. 😂😂

Rudra and Soumya on the run from Romi Devi and getting married accidentally.

Omkara’s drug track 😭😭 (Kunal’s best acting in the show) 

Rudra’s dance on break up song after Om and Riddhima break up.😂😂

Omkara and Rudra exposing Shivaay forcing Annika to marry him. The entire family giving Shivaay a piece of their mind. Esp. Rudra saying “Bhaiyaa aap hero se villain kab ban gaye?” 

Omkara and Rudra messing with Mrs. Kapoor “Un se panga na lo jinke do-do devar hain” 

Rudra catching Soumya in the stairs 

Annika saving Tia from piercing her tummy on that pointed vase, showing that she is a bigger person than Tia that she still cares for her baby despite Tia trying to kill Annika.

Shivaay taking the bullet for Annika 😭😭

Annika and OmRu scene in the hospital when Shivaay’s shot 😭😭

Tia and Svetlana and their magnificent vampish looks at the fuckery of the Oberois during the Kapoor sisters track.

Shivaay consoling OmRu, and the Obros hug after Jahnvi’s suicide attempt 😭😭

Annika and Svetlana’s Naagin dance during that memory loss track 🔥

Tia breaking down on reuniting with Robin (?) returning to her good self. Also her equation with Shivaay and Annika

Shivaay reuniting with his brothers after he comes back from his kidnap/replacement by Mahi. 😭😭

Annika and Shivaay when they go outside Mumbai, the time Annika burns Shivaay’s car down and two theifs masquerading as Forest Officers give them a lift. 😂😂

The first two weeks of DBO, they were awesome, man. Esp. Kali and Gauri scenes, each and every one of them. 🔥🔥

The scene in the train “Zaroor aapke saath kuch bura huya hoga, tabhi aap aise ho gaye hain” + the jungle scene “Sharma!” “Ssarma?” 😂😂

Rikara marriage

Gauri and Dandi bhaiyaa scenes, esp. the scene after he saves her from the goons in the Shaktiman costume

Gauri helping Svetlana in outwitting the autowallahs, and dancing to naajaane kaha se aayi hai.😂😂

Omkara and Chulbul’s fairylights scene. 

ShivOmRu getting freaked out by Chulbul and testing the “static” 😂😂

Rudra breaking into Maa Da Laadla whenever Chulkara collide.😂😂

Svetlana skating back to Mumbai clinging to Om’s car, and reaching before them. (I don’t think I’ll ever get over this scene) 🤣🤣🤣

Gauri hiding from Shivaay. 😂😂

Omkara explaining Chulbul the meaning of One Night Stand 😂😂

Chulbul and Rudra interactions, esp. the one where Chulbul is locked inside and he uses a magnet to make the robot bang its head on the door, to grab Rudra’s attention who is standing outside listening to songs on his ipod. (I’ve watched this scene 10 times and I still crack up like mad watching the robot pound its head on the door).🤣🤣🤣

The first scene of Thakurain Gauri (Shrenu’s best acting till date. Thakurain Gauri is a legend, who deserves an entire show just dedicated to her. She’s my god and queen and boss!) 🔥🔥🔥🔥

Gauri and Kali’s argument. “Teri yeh bedhiyaan hamaare paaon jakar sakti, hamaare mann ko nahi, tu humpe pehra pehra laga sakta hain, par hamari soch pe nahi, Gauri Kumari Ssarma ko tod sakta hain, par uske visvaas ko nahi” The summary of DBO in one dialogue. 🔥🔥 

Gauri questioning Om on his warped notion of truth “Aapko lagta hain jo aap dekh rahe hai, vahi sach hain?” 

Gauri looking down at Omkara when she’s doing pooja

Glucose vaali chai

Gauri’s first argument with Svetlana “Dekho tum…” “Dekh hi toh rahe hai!” SvetRi ftw!

All the Mahasangam scenes where the Oberois jammed together. “Dono bhaabhiyon ki bahut jamegi, dono ko tod phod pasand hain”  😂😂

Gauri calling Omkara “Nandi” and then dragging his arse

Annika and Gauri first hug near the pool.

Gauri bitching about the Obros and then throwing Annika into the pool + Shivika’s pool scene

Gauri and Omkara, the ‘sixth sense’ scene

Rikara pretending for Dhurindhar “Tota maina ki tarah romance karenge”

The entire sangeet episode 

The Rikara good bye scene 😭😭 (the first time this show, actually brought me close to tears, Atif yaar!) 

Rudra and Gauri parallel scene when they both tell Bhavya and Om that they will always stand by them in times of need. 

Rikara scene by the cupboard. Gauri giving it back to Omkara

Rikara couch + rain hug scene

The DBO finale when Gauri drags Omkara’s arse and Omkara stops her from leaving

The Pari track, the Obros were damn hilarious. 😂😂

Gauri dragging Omkara’s arse after Pinky taunts her+ the fairytale story scene where Gauri questions him. 

Rikara sketchbook scene where Omkara talks about his art (also the most deep and meaningful scene this show has ever written) 💜

Rudra and Gauri’s ‘perspiration’ scene, esp. Rudra trying to persuade Gauri to abandon the dupatta while doing jumping jacks.😂😂 

Rikara scene during the exhibition “Jo cheez kahi na ja sake, usse bolna zaroori nahi hai” 

ShivKara beating Rudra with pillows for his advice on relationships. 😂😂

Rudra and Gauri teaming up and Gauri explaining what atrangi means. 

Gauri messing with Ragini “Tumhaara koi kaam dhaam nahi hain kya? Jab dekho yaha pe rehti ho” 

Shivaay and Gauri rakhi scene (another scene which made me emo)  😭😭 

Gauri messing up Vikram and Annika’s engagement. “Bhaabhi paagal ho gayi hai” “Ragini Naagini” 😂😂

Gauri feeding everyone bhaang vaale ladoos + the Rikara scene the morning after the ratjaga. “Nasha kiya na tumne?” “Nahi humne toh sirf laddoo khaaye…galti se” 😂😂

Gauri and Ragini gallofying each other in their heads 😂😂 (Gauri is a lot like Shivaay, in the sense, Shivaay used to provoke fights with Annika due to his attraction to her, while Gauri does the same wrt to Svetty and Ragini. Of course, Omkara’s asexuality made Gauri embrace her lesbian side)

Annika and Gauri scene the night before the fake wedding 

Shivaay telling Gauri what’s his problem and why is he playing ego-ego with Annika

Shivaay finding out about Pinky’s truth and telling her that any goodness in him is because of his brothers, OmRu. 😭😭 

Shivaay and Annika shipping Rikara. Shivaay feeding pakodas to Gauri and chaabi ghumaaoing while Annika telling Om that Gauri has “move on” 😂😂

Annika asking Gauri play romantic songs and Gauri responding with “Radha Krishan ke prem geet” 😂😂

Gauri and Om talking in their heads in the car. 😂😂

Shivaay and Annika making terrible food in their food challenge 

Gauri and Omkara fighting off the robbers “Ee toh chirote hain, humein lootne ke liye aaye hain” + the Rikara scene “Mujhe bevkoof bana rahi ho?”

Rudra handing over his pehli kamaayi to Bhavya after fixing a pipe. I’m not a Ruvya fan, but this scene was perhaps the only scene where Rudra’s character showed any growth i.e. him learning that value of money and how to earn it. 

Omkara rolling his eyes at Gauri 1267th time doing her lame sunglass and candy trick. 

Omkara having to restrain Gauri from picking a fight with Dangal Dada + situation reverse and Omkara shrugging away Gauri’s hand and the poor girl being thrown back 😂😂

Gauri worrying over how Omkara is going to be smashed to bits by Balram “Main ladunga” 😂😂

Gauri’s dangal fight + Omkara, for once in his life, getting to be the hero

Gauri upset at Omkara’s reaction at the chai thela “Jab aapko kuch pata hi nahi, toh phir pooch kyun rahe hain” 

Shivaay consoling Gauri after the exhibition fiasco 

Gauri finding Omkara blindfolded. 

Shivaay gifting Annika Sahil’s adoption papers. 

Annika and Gauri’s trip to the village and saving Suman on that phatphatti. Bhaujaai and Chuitki fleeing on the bike will remain epic. 😂😂 

Shivika and Rikara’s parallel scenes in the prison. “Hamaare sehen karne shakti ab khatam ho chuki hain” 

Inspector Taadka putting the entire Oberoi family into prison “Arey yeh baat bahut karte hain” 😂😂

Omkara getting drunk and confessing his anger to his parents, when Gauri goes missing for 15 days. Esp. Tej trying to reconcile with Om “Badi der kar di huzoor aate aate”😭😭 I actually felt bad for Omkie at this point (does not mean I forgive him, but boy has a lotta issues fucking his head courtesy his parents) 

Gauri breaking up with Omkara, confessing that she made a mistake falling in love with a loser like him, who keeps misunderstanding her because of his sick mentality (Also, Shankarji in the back). Epic scene! 🔥🔥

Gauri getting dressed for Karva chauth 

Dilpreet questioning Gauri’s ability to manage Richa’s wedding finances and Gauri asserting that no one might have any faith in her, but she has faith in herself and Shankarji. 

Annika’s mad “buddhi” dance at Gauri’s roka. ShivKara’s WTF expressions. 😂😂

Gauri delivering a set down to Omkara and rejecting his “confession” 

Annika having nightmare of Chutki and hugging Gauri while they are sleeping 😭😭

The Obros funny scene and pillow fight 😂😂

Gauri questioning Omkara, if he would have forgiven her if she had done all that, he did + tearing off the dupatta at the temple, and telling Omkara to GTFO. (the point at which Rikara story should have ended, with their separation, because Om’s redemption is not possible).

Obros kidnapping Gauri (’cos consent doesn’t exist in their dictionary). Rudra going “Mubarakho bhaabhi, hum aapko kidnap kar rahe hai” 😂😂

The Obros lameass attempts to hide Gauri. Rudra “Ab firauti ki demand kare?” 😂😂

Pia getting the LOLs out of fucking with the Obros. 

Rudra ordering the Royal Bengal Tiger. Shivaay “Yeh sher nahi, tiger hain!”

Gauri enthusiastically planning to drug bade bhaiyaa with “Babaji ki booti” +Om having it by mistake and going “Surooooor” 😂😂

The one scene where Annika shows Gauri her new home in Goa. 

The holi scene where Annika and Gauri get high on bhaang vaale gujiya. “Sher toh hamara chirota maarta hain” “Manjhla devar shikari hain?” “Naahi naahi woh *roars* vaala sher nahi, waah waah vaala sher maarte hain” 😂😂

Annika and Gauri sleeping together like old times after the AniRi reunion. 😭😭

Omkara gifting Gauri the trophy saying ‘you are my hero’. The context was stupid, but I’m all here for Omkie Shomkie stating the facts. 

The AniRi scenes from redux  

Yeah, I can’t remember anymore and I’m exhausted. I’m sure there are others, but my memory is hazy now. Do we have any in common, anon? 

[deathcoreschnee]

"Let's Go Get Some Chai Tea tonight, and Hopefully with a Side of A Kiss"

Ruby was sitting at the edge of her bed, debating on texting Blake or not, staring at the time, a quarter past 10:30 p.m.,"Fuck it", the Rose thought. Hitting send on the message that was already written out.

["Hey, what are you doing?"]. Deciding on not just simply waiting, she plugged her headphones in, going through her various of playlists. Only to smile at the one she made not too long ago, it varied from Movements to Trophy Eyes, hitting shuffle then laying down. After going through three different songs of The Wonder Years, her music is interrupted by the beep tone of which were from messages. Opening up her phone, reading the message, ["I'm so sorry, Ruby, I just saw your message. I finished that comic you told me to check out, I must say Scott Ian Lewis has a very interesting way with bringing up the ideas of how corrupted even morgues could be."] It made the red tipped brunette smile, happy that she liked the comic. ["I'm glad you liked it, knew you would be interested in it. He's also a awesome vocalist! Don't forget that. "] Being surprised by the instant message back,

["He is quite the vocalist, however, you did ask me a question. I am texting only you now, what are you doing?"] Ruby was surprised from that, she stopped before she could text what she originally wanted to ask the book work, shaking her head the focusing on what she wants. [" I am texting you back, also wanted to know.. if you'd like to get some late night tea with me.."] She was a nervous wreck, it shouldn't be so easy to, you know to text your crush, even asking them to go get a cup of their favorite tea. But Yang told her, " You have to start somewhere, just hanging for a bit before class won't get you anywhere with her."

Laying down hard, she waited, began listening to music, this time it was Trophy Eyes. Her scroll went off again, opening it once again, [ "That sounds fun, but I thought you weren't a night person?" ] She chuckled from Blake's question, it was a small lie she told her, the only reason was for Yang and Weiss could be alone together. ["If it means hanging out with you, then I'll be a night owl. I'll pick you up".] Being confident was actually helping, her out from always being a nervous wreck.

Not one but two message notifications went off, reading them caused her heart to skip a beat. ["Ruby... that's very sweet of you. I'll be ready by the time you get here."] She went to the next message, ["Be careful driving over here, please. I'm really looking forward to seeing you. "] She had the biggest smile on her face, quickly putting on some worn out black skinny jeans, red/black vans, along with a very worn out red "Bound in Fear" hoodie. Grabbing her phone and wallet, leaving her room, walking down the stairs. Right before she could unhook her keys, a swift hand snatched them before she could.

"Where you rushing off at 11 at night?" Ruby turned to see Yang twirling the keys with a finger. "Uh...I was gonna go...go see B-Blake.." the brunette kicked at the floor from actually admitting to where she was going. Hearing the blonde chuckle, she looked up and saw a smirk.

"You asked her out? This late? You really do like her. " Ruby blushed brightly but nodded, holding her hand out. Understanding, Yang placed the keys in her hand, " Be careful, alright? I'll expect you home, but if you sleep over at her place, text me. Have fun,Rubbles.", with that being said her older sister walked off the living room where Weiss,in Yang's hoodie, was currently fast asleep on the couch.

Smiling brightly to herself, locking the front door, slightly running to her truck, a black 2000 Toyota Tacoma. Once inside she waited for the engine to get warmed a up, going through a playlist, debating on between a pop punk or deathcore. Ruby selected on, Volumes, surely would keep her focused. Double checking the truck was in reverse, she backed out slowly of the driveway, putting it in drive once on the street.

-

Arriving at Blake's house took quite a bit, since she lived at the edge of town. Smiling at how the book work was patiently sitting on her porch with her father, they both took notice of the truck, Ghira walked his daughter down the drive way. Ruby unlocked the door for Blake, waving at her as the door shut,once settled in, seat belt buckled. "Take care of my daughter, Ruby." He gave her a slight glare, then smiled at his jewel. "Bye, Dad. We'll be back before 1, I hope." Blake responded to save the younger girl from nightmares of her father. Chuckling from hearing a breath that was held in by the Rose be released, rubbing the girls back softly, "You know he's messing with you, right?"

Silver met auburn, "But why to me? I'm the good one of the group."finishing with a pout, while going to change the music till her phone was snatched from her hand. "¿Puedo poner un canción que me gusta?" Ruby was caught off guard by the change in language but nodded, scratching her head slightly. Her voice is much deeper when she speaks Spanish..., the red tipped brunette thought to herself.

Ruby focused on driving, but decided to go along with the change of language. "¿Cual cancíon vas a poner,Blake?", internally cringing at hearing her own accent causing the words to sound flat. Being met with soft beats of a reggaeton song, recognizing the male singer, What was his name again? Blake went to see him live not too long ago with Ilia... ,stopping at the red light, "Ozuna?" Blake looked at her with widen eyes, chuckling softly from the reaction, driving forward. "Tu sabes que yo pongo mucho attención cuando hablas conmigo." Ruby changed lanes since the coffee shop was coming up quick, making sure to have her blinker on to turn into the parking lot. Blake was still silent but smiling to herself, causing her to get nervous, " Why are you smiling?" She was ignored completely, even causing her nerves to jump higher.

-

Inside the cafe, she looked down at Blake, who happened to move closer. Ruby ordered two chai tea lattes along with four cookies, for herself. "Why were you smiling so much earlier?" She asked after taking a sip of the latte. Only to be ignored again, Why the hell is she not answering me?, raising an eyebrow. It hit her after a good minute of staring at the smirking women in front of her. "¿Me vas a ignorar por todo el noche?" , busting out her famous puppy dog face out, that worked. Watching her laugh made Ruby laugh along with her, eating her cookies after catching her breath.

"I was wondering when you were going to figure it out, I'm happy you caught on." Blake met the younger girls eyes, smiling as she turned away from the locked eyes with a slight blush. Feeling a slightly rough hand, from always tinkering with tools, covering the hand that was holding her latte, turned her attention to the girl that moved to sit very close without even being noticed. "Blake...I wanted to ask you something." Both were now blushing brightly, Ruby now made eye contact with the taller woman. "Will you go out with me?"

Blake was completely caught off guard, her mouth was open, trying to compose herself. Yes, was going over and over in her head, but it wouldn't come out, what did come out was "Besame". Silver eyes looked at her in shock, but they became a darker shade as they looked at her lips. The two leaned in, however; right before there was any contact, the barista announced, "We're closing, please finish your drinks and vacate the cafe. Have good rest of the night. " Noticing that the somewhat crowded cafe was emptying, Ruby and Blake followed suit. As they walked to the truck, the Rose opened the passenger door for Blake. Auburn eyes followed the girl until she got in as well, buckling her seat belt, starting up the truck.

-

As Ruby focused on the road, braking for the red light. There was a tension in the truck, Blake plugged in her phone, completely forgetting what she was listening to before going out. As the soft beat of the drums begin to play, the lyrics began. However the red tipped brunette driver wasn't paying attention to the meaning of the lyrics as she was changing lanes.

"Bring me to bed but don't sleep

I wanna feel your sweat on my skin

Gimme the pressure you know I need

And if I'm ti-"

She immediately changed the song, the truck was filled with moderate pace drums, guitar, alongside am aesthetic voice of Maria Brink. Ruby chuckled softly as she turned right to drive down Blake's street. " I forgot you liked New Years Day, you didn't have to change the song." While stopping in front of her house, noticing how Blake wasn't looking at her. Reaching over to poke her arm, it worked because their eyes met. Smiling widely, "I'll walk you to the door. "

-

Ruby now standing in front of Belladonna front door, looking down at the now silent Blake. Scratching the back of her head, "¿Puedo besarte, Blake?" That got a reaction, as she was pulled down by her hoodie. Feeling the soft lips of the girl that she's been crushing on for 2 years now. It was a short kiss, but Blake wrapped her arms around Ruby's neck, while her waist was tightly held in a needed hug. " This makes you my girlfriend, now.."

"Yes, you dork. Also you'll be sleeping over, it's now 2 in the morning." She opened her door quietly while dragging the taller of the two inside.

-

Wow that long, hopefully you guys like it!

Translations:

"¿Puedo poner un canción que me gusta?"/ "Can I put a song that I like?"

"¿Cual cancíon vas a poner,Blake?"/ "What song are you going to put, Blake?"

"Tu sabes que yo pongo mucho attención cuando hablas conmigo." / "You know I pay a lot of attention when you talk to me."

"¿Me vas a ignorar por todo el noche?" / "Are you going to ignore me all night?"

"Besame" / "Kiss me"

"¿Puedo besarte, Blake?" / " May I kiss you, Blake?"

-

Also if you wanna check out the music that was going on through out this:

The Wonder Years songs

https://youtu.be/ccIyBeLEjGM

https://youtu.be/trMuR3uWHD8

https://youtu.be/aqgC0WSuk4k

Trophy Eyes (song change after TWY)

https://youtu.be/RDVPgMsBoyc

Volumes (Warming up the Truck)

https://youtu.be/oPf57zZrNNc

Ozuna (Blake asks to put her favorite song on)

https://youtu.be/4xezOOW80AE

New Years Day (Blake not aware of the song)

https://youtu.be/3H4bn4mz8K8

In This Moment (What she switches the song to)

https://youtu.be/Cve-kTPRnLc

Acceptance (Kiss and ending scene)

https://youtu.be/SXPE4aB7PLw

[lucymacculloch]

Love, From

You’re at the beach and you’re wearing your dead grandmother’s blue raincoat. For once it’s the tourists that have dressed for England’s pretence of summer, so while the people with British accents are walking along the port in jeans and long coats, the voice that sound American to you but you know are Canadian are talking about shorts were a mistake and whether they should buy longer pants. You’ve heard that it’s supposed to rain later.

You finally understand why English people like Australian beaches.  You were waiting for the sudden glitter of blue and a blur of golden sand, only to realise that the sea had already been trickling past the train for five minutes, its dark blue only distinguishable from the grey shore by its resting boats. So far, you have not seen a single wave. 

You can't remember what an overcast day at a Sydney beach looks like. You haven't even been to the beach in five years, and how un-Australian is that? You wonder how the water would look now if the sun was brighter and the sky was bluer. Before you got to the coast, the train windows had cut Norfolk into ready-made postcards of trimmed hay with rounded trees and fields of yellow flowers. It was quaint - diorama worthy, with pulled cotton hanging from fishing line as clouds above pig figurines held in paddle-pop fence pens - romantically and fancifully rural. And then the colours had lost their saturation and the clouds had grown, until you had arrived at the station and were met with only an absence of colour.

Ok, you're not actually at the beach yet. You are a fifteen minute walk away from the actual shore. Apparently, England builds houses near beaches instead of building carparks. Ten minutes of explore has revealed that your first impression of there being fuck all to do in a small port town was accurate. There are three arcades, all two minutes away from each other, as well as one of those spirituality shops that sells mood rings and quartz stones and smells of lavender. There are two cafes but only one fish and chip shop, whose takeaway boxes sit in the laps of almost everyone sitting on the boardwalk. You smelled the oil from the chips before you smelled the sea salt itself, and now they mix together with a bit of tomato sauce and vinegar thrown in. You have no idea why anyone would put vinegar on chips, but at least they don't call them fries here. 

Another store, more toy shop than tourist centre has a write rack of postcards sitting out the front. You twirl it around, scanning them more out of obligation than interest. You've been writing about postcard for years (it seemed like an underused metaphor for something meaningful at the time), but it didn't occur to you to send one until your mother emailed you asking you to. Not to her, but to both of your great aunts, one of whom you've never met but hope to receive part of an inheritance from. You got your mother's most recent email yesterday, this one containing a self-diagnosis for Asperger's syndrome and how it differs between men and women, only you read it as Alzheimer's for two minutes. Same difference. You'll ring her this afternoon when it's 1am over there because you know she'll be awake and it will save you from replying.

The last postcard you received was from Jasmine. She handed it to you a week after she'd gotten back from New York, the edge at the top starting to split. You found it again only recently, when you were doing your annual room clean. You read it and it made you sad, but right now you can't remember what it said. You think the photo on the front was blue. You're not sure where you put it, but it's probably safely in a box. Or it went into recycling. It's hard to tell what you've done, sometimes. 

Jasmine is ten minutes late, as you both expected her to be. Either that or you got the wrong time, or the wrong place. Or the wrong date. It doesn't matter if you did: just take sixty or so photos of the beach and its colourful houses, the bunting hanging above the street for zero reason that you can see, and a bright cone of gelato, and post three out of four of them on Instagram and the two hour trip will have been worth it. You might even have left before it starts to rain. The wind smacks your hair into your face and it feels like straw. It's been more of a lost cause than usual, as has your face with its constellation of red mounds. You're suddenly aware of how soft the flesh on your arms is, how when you press against it you can barely feel the hard bone. Your stomach doesn't feel soft at all, just unavoidable.  You're wearing your mother's jumper that's supposed to be two sizes too big for you, but it doesn't feel big enough. You want to draw your hood up, rest the wool over your face and sink into the warm dark. It's only midday; you've been awake for four hours at most. This is why you don't go out.

Jasmine is on her phone when you see her, leaning against the town map. You still expect her to dress in bright floral patterns, but she's just wearing a blue shirt and dark jeans - something you would wear, have been wearing for the past two weeks - with her in the low ponytail she wears when she's working. At least she didn't straight it. Her lipstick is nice, fuchsia, but you don't know how frequently she wears makeup and if it means you should have made more of an effort, too. She's more happy than tired, and you wonder if that's still a rarity for her. You've started to drift towards her when she sees you, gives more of a nod of recognition than a smile, and you both stop for a moment to see if one of you will go in for a hug. Neither of you do.  

The how are you's last about four minutes before food gets brought up. Ten minutes ago you wouldn't have been able to eat anything other than fairy floss; would have needed to feel the sugar granules dissolve one by one, feeling the sticky grit on the ridges of your fingers for your throat to accept anything at all, but now you're desperate for one of those takeaway boxes becoming transparent with grease. Jasmine just shrugs, and you know she'll try to get a salad.

Your mum talked about how chip oil was better here, so you think that the chips might melt a little more smoothly on your tongue, not hot enough to burn but still warm, soft. Jasmine asks about your trip just as you're licking the salt and tomato sauce off of your fingers. You start to answer as you wipe the grease from your fingers on your grandma's raincoat. You can feel the words starting to pile up at the back of your throat as you run out of script.

- How was Canberra? Did your team win? How is your boyfriend? You ask. She waves off each question like they're nothing.

You want to get her talking. After all, you only have two stories to tell and she's already heard them, years ago.  You are no longer looking at her, eyes drifting to edge of the dock where people, families mostly, are dropping their lines into the water to catch crabs. You suddenly remember just how busy the dock is, the surrounding voices returning in a jumbled rush. Overhead the seagulls flap their wings, swooping to perch on the flag mast of a boat. You comment that they seem better behaved here than in Australia. Jasmine murmurs in agreement.

A crab plops into a bucket overlaid with a sticker of a smiling cartoon crustacean. The water has a yellow tinge and the crabs are sitting on top of each other. Further on, a boy hold a crap up to his sister, finger and thumb wrapped around the middle. The crab barely moves its legs and the girl only tilts her face away from the boy's teasing. Their parents watch from the sidewalk, smiling. Eventually, he puts the crab down, where it immediately shuffles to the edge of the dock and falls off.

- You been crabbing? Jasmine asks, eyebrow cocked.

You shake your head, and both of you turn away from each other again, looking out to the sea.

- Rob used to take me fishing, occasionally. When I was a kid. I wasn't very good. I could never bait the line. I forgot about going, actually. What about you?

Jasmine tilts her head like it's an answer.

The takeaway box on your lap is no longer warm. The smell of salt is stronger now and there's a hint of salt though you know it's from the plastic bags of bait. A boy of about ten is sitting with a fluorescent orange net, barely moving as he waits. He looks up and he's wearing a bright pink wrestling mask. You and Jasmine turn to each other with bemused smiles.

Eventually you both decide to get coffee, only Jasmine gets a chai latte and you get a hot chocolate, trying not to feel too childish next to her, pulling the sleeves of your jumper over your hands and pressing them against the warmth of the mug. Jasmine starts telling you about a movie she saw recently that you might like, actually, and you nod and smile into your mug and hope you look attentive and sophisticated enough as melted marshmallow sticks to the corner of your mouth, the dip in your top lip. You're trying to talk about a TV show you like when you let slip a do you remember when and she nods, and you quickly fill in the silence with a badly-told joke.

You're somewhere between walking to the bus stop and down to the shore when Jasmine stops outside one of the shops, twirls a rack of postcards around her finger as she tilts her head.

- Should I get one for Libby? she asks.

You shrug, come up next to her and pick up a few, showing her to the ones you deem pretty enough. Most of them are blue, or pale green.

- I never know what to write on them, Jasmine says.

You don't either.

- Just stick a 'wish you were here' or 'love from' on them, you reply.

Jasmine puts the postcards back and says she'll buy one in London.

You don't end up going to the beach. Instead, Jasmine catches a bus to go back to her hotel and you think you should hug her to say goodbye but you don't, just brush your shoulder against hers and wish her a good trip. She waves to you as she gets on the bus but doesn't sit by the window. Two days later will she post a photo on Instagram of her and another friend you used to know who happened to be in England at the same time as her, and sadness will settle over you like a worn blanket. But only for a few minutes. In the meantime, you walk back to the edge of the dock and peer over it, picture yourself falling to the bottom like one of the captured crabs. Nearby, the boy in the wrestling mask rustles a crab out of his net, dunks it into his bucket. You feel one, two, drops of rain splash your face and pull your hood up as you walk back to the station.  

[lymifashion]

CHAI KUSMI TEA MUFFINS

Home / June 10, 2020

(FR)

Il y a deux choses dont je ne pourrais absolument pas me passer : une bonne tasse de thé chaud et un dessert. Et si on combinait les deux ? Dans cet article, je vous donne la recette de délicieux muffins au Kusmi Tea bio “Tchaï of the Tiger”.

(EN)

There are two things I absolutely couldn't do without: a good cup of hot tea and dessert. How about combining the two? In this article, I give you the recipe for delicious Kusmi Tea "Tchai of the Tiger" muffins.

(FR: EN below)

J’aime beaucoup le thé Tchaï avec son mélange d’épices, et l’idée de parfumer des muffins avec ces saveurs m’a séduite.

Pour réaliser 6 grands muffins, vous aurez besoin de :

200g de farine

1 sachet de levure

200g de sucre

1 sachet de sucre vanillé

100g de beurre fondu

2 oeufs

20cl de lait

Du thé Tchaï of the Tiger de la marque Kusmi Tea

Voici les étapes à réaliser :

Préchauffer le four à 180 degrés

Mélanger la farine, le sucre et le sucre vanillé

Chauffer le lait et y tremper une boule à thé remplie de votre Kusmi Tea durant quelques minutes (selon infusion désirée)

Ajouter le beurre fondu hors du feu, mélanger puis ajouter les oeufs battus en fouettant pour ne pas qu'ils cuisent

Ajouter à cela le mélange farine-sucre puis rajouter la levure

Mettre dans des moules à muffins

Enfourner 30 minutes environ

Ces muffins étaient vraiment délicieux. C’est incroyable car la saveur du thé est bien présente et cela donne vraiment un côté original à ce dessert. Je trouve aussi que ces muffins peuvent servir de petit-déjeuner ou de goûter.

Vous pouvez acheter le thé dans un des magasins Kusmi Tea à Lausanne ou Genève ou alors le commander en ligne ici. Sachez qu’en achetant ce thé, vous réalisez en plus une bonne action afin de sauver les tigres sauvages.

N’hésitez pas à partager avec moi le résultat si vous tentez de réaliser cette recette.

(EN)

I really like Tchai tea with its blend of spices, and the idea of flavoring muffins with these flavours appealed to me.

To make 6 large muffins, you will need:

200 grams of flour

1 sachet of yeast

200g of sugar

1 sachet of vanilla sugar

100g melted butter

2 eggs

20cl milk

Tchai of the Tiger tea from Kusmi Tea.

Here are the steps to be carried out:

Preheat the oven to 180 degrees

Mix the flour, sugar and vanilla sugar

Heat the milk and soak a tea ball filled with your Kusmi Tea in it for a few minutes (depending on the desired infusion)

Add the melted butter off the heat, stir and then add the eggs, whisking to prevent them from cooking

Add to this the flour-sugar mixture and then add the yeast

Place in muffin tins

Put in the oven for about 30 minutes

Those muffins were really delicious. It's incredible because the tea flavour is very present and it really gives an original side to this dessert. I also find that these muffins can be used for breakfast or as a snack.

You can buy the tea in one of the Kusmi Tea stores in Lausanne or Geneva or you can order it online here. You should know that by buying this tea, you are also doing a good deed to save the wild tigers.

Feel free to share the result with me if you try to make this recipe.

Caro

[winterisakillerwrites]

Get Better - Chapter Sixteen

Title: Get Better

Chapter: 16/18

Character: Tom Hiddleston/Cath Richardson (OFC)

Genre: Romance

Rating: Teen and up

Summary: Love. Companionship. Family. These are all of the things Tom Hiddleston desperately wanted. But his life and his choices left that a distant and unlikely prospect. So he did his best to move on and live his life as is. When an opportunity to return to the theater arises, he jumps at the chance and along the way finds that maybe, just maybe, those distant and unlikely prospects are closer than he could have imagined. Sequel to Brave Face.

Authors Notes/Warnings: So as I was writing Brave Face I knew that Tom’s story wasn’t over, even if that particular part of it was. And while I knew, more or less, what the overall ending to the story would be, its taken me a while to figure out the time in between.

Thanks to @redfoxwritesstuff​​ for being an absolute godsend in regards to this story. I would truly be dead in the water without you.

Previous

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

The cabin of the car was silent save for Bobby’s occasional panting. Cath had curled into the backseat, ignoring the murmurings of those still waiting at the stage door as she’d done so. Her presence seemed to be forgotten a few moments later as calls and applause erupted when Tom (with Bobby’s lead clutched tightly in his hand) emerged from the stage door. She watched as he waved and smiled, before pulling open the back door and letting Bobby jump inside. He closed the door and climbed into the front passenger seat with another wave at the crowd.

Silence engulfed the small space as the car pulled from the curb and merged quickly into the traffic around Leister Square. Bobby settled on the seat beside her, resting his head in her lap. Cath absentmindedly scratched his head and behind his ears, trying to not let her mind wander too far into just what the rest of the coming evening entailed. Over thinking this would not do her nerves any bit of good. But understanding that did little to actually calm her.

From the front seat, she heard Tom and his driver talking in quiet tones; their voices no more than murmurs to her ears and she didn’t bother to try to focus on what they were saying. Bobby, seeming to sense her unease, buried his head further into her hand. She watched the city speed past her window. It never ceased to fascinate her, seeing the lights of the city and the steady stream of people lining its streets despite the steadily growing lateness of the hour.

It had taken her longer to agree to Tom’s hasty suggestion than either of them had liked. Frankly, she had stood staring at him in stunned disbelief the moment the words had left his mouth. She had wanted desperately to understand just what was going on in his head; to know once and for all just want he wanted. But the idea of putting herself in his hands with the outcome so shaky left her uneasy. The need to know, however, had won out in the end and she had agreed.

He’d wasted no time pulling his mobile from his back pocket and calling his driver to inform him of the addition to his car. She’d paced around, trying to contain her sudden burst of nervous energy, while Tom squared away the details and went to put away the last of Bobby’s things. She’d had her purse sitting on the chair by her station; the book sitting haphazardly on the edge of the counter where Tom had dropped it a few minutes earlier. Wordlessly, Cath grabbed both and stood bouncing on the balls of her feet by the doorway.

Part of her had feared he would suddenly change his mind. That he would find some reason, some excuse to put this off. Tom, however, simply turned to her, Bobby’s lead in hand, and gestured towards the doorway. “After you,” he murmured.

And now as they sped off into the brightly lit night, weaving through the late evening traffic, Cath found herself unable to fully relax. Bobby, sensing her unease, buried his face in her lap and she absently stroked the silky fur of his head. The car pulled to a stop half an hour later and Cath watched in quiet fascination as the driver rolled down his window and entered the code for the gate. A moment later the gate clanked its way open and the car pulled into the short drive.

Bobby’s head perked up from Cath’s lap as the spaniel realized where they were. He barked twice, tail a blur of motion, and bounced on the seat beside her. Cath let out a soft laugh, taking hold of Bobby’s lead, and opened the car door. Bobby jumped out, doing tight circles around her feet as she climbed from the backseat. Tom was beside her in moments, wordlessly taking the lead from her hands and nodding towards the door with his head.

Cath followed quietly behind Tom and Bobby, up the short cobbled walk and the three faded brick steps to the dark blue front door. She watched Tom pull his keys from the depths of his jeans pocket and fumble with the lock before pushing the door open. They hurried inside and Tom made quick work of disarming the security system. Bobby barked twice, looking pointedly up at Tom who shook his head with a soft laugh and bent to unhook Bobby from his lead. The spaniel shoved his nose into Tom’s hand in thanks before darting off down the darkened hallway.  

Tom straightened, running his hand quickly through his mused hair and shot a quick look at Cath. He offered her a quiet smile before asking, “tea?” and darted off towards the kitchen before she could utter a word.

Blinking in disbelief at his retreating form, Cath stood for several moments before taking a deep breath and hurrying after him down the dimly lit hallway. She found Tom standing at the sink, his back to her, filling the kettle. On the counter beside him sat two nondescript blue mugs.

“Tom…”

He froze for a moment before turning off the tap, placing the kettle onto the counter, turning to face her. “I’ve got Earl Grey, Darjeeling, Chai, and some sort of herbal tea Sarah brought over from India this past Christmas.” He smiled softly before turning to his left and pulling open a cabinet door and rifling through its contents. “I might even have English Breakfast buried in here somewhere…”

Cath blinked at him. “Tom, you really don’t…”

“It’s no trouble. Honestly.” He smiled, cutting off her protest as he darted to the fridge and pulled out a pint of milk. By this point the kettle had started boiling and Tom turned once more towards her. “Tea preference?”

She hesitated for a few moments more before answering. “Darjeeling.”

It was clear Tom was set on completing this task and nothing was going to make him waiver from it. And in a way Cath understood. Tea was safe. It was soothing and if they were actually going to do this, actually going to sit and talk, then soothing was something they would both desperately need.

“Excellent choice.” He pulled a small box from the cabinet.  All I have for that is sachets, if that is alright?”

Cath nodded silently in agreement. Tom’s blue eyes softened in quiet thanks as he turned and added a sachet to her mug before pouring the boiling water. He added a few scoops of his own choice of tea into a strainer before adding his own water. As the steeped Tom glanced back towards her. “Milk? Sugar? Both?”

“Both please.”

She smiled softly and took the steaming mug Tom handed her. He doctored his own, blowing softly on the steaming surface before risking a sip. Cath fought a smile at the grimace he pulled at the heat. Tom coughed once and smiled sheepishly.

“Um,” he started, lacking his usual grace and ease with words. “Shall we head into the lounge then?”

Both grateful that the difficult but necessary conversation would be shortly getting underway and terrified of its outcome, Cath quietly nodded and allowed Tom to lead the way down the hall and into the brightly lit room. She settled in the blue cushioned chair by the window at Tom’s instance and watched as he settled himself on the chair opposite. She took a quick, small sip of her own tea before setting the mug on the table beside her and raised her eyes towards Tom.

He fidgeted in his seat, first placing his own mug down on the table then picking it immediately back up and balancing between his large hands. Tom took a deep breath, looking quickly down at the gently steaming mug. Finally, he raised his eyes to Cath’s intense blue and opened his mouth. “I wanted to…” he let himself trail off.

Cath nodded encouragingly at him. As much as the idea of the conversation scared her, she knew one way or another, they’d be better for it. Or at least she hoped they’d be. But first he needed to get whatever he needed to say out.

Suddenly, Tom clapped his hands together and made to stand. “Do you want any biscuits? I could really murder a HobNob right now.”

“What?” Cath blurted in confusion. What the bloody hell was he playing at? She glared at Tom as he pushed himself once more to his feet and made as if to dart back towards the kitchen. “No!” The words left her lips far more powerfully than she’d intended.

The effect was immediate. Tom froze, halfway towards the doorway and slowly turned back around, the hesitancy in his face clear.

“No,” Cath started again. “No, I don’t want any bloody biscuits, Tom!” Stunned into apparent silence, Tom simply stood and stared at her. “I want you to sit and bloody talk to me. Whatever it is you’ve got to say, I promise you, I can take it. But you need to talk. We can’t keep doing this elaborate dance. I can’t do this anymore. So please, for both our sakes, just talk to me.”

He let out a heavy sigh and slowly made his way back to his chair, settling once more. Tom linked his hands in his lap and sat quietly for several moments. Finally, he spoke.

“I don’t know how much of my…public life you’re privy to. I’ve had a few…” He paused, waving his hands distractedly, as he searched for a word, “more well-known affairs, if you like.”

Cath nodded, not quite sure where he was heading. She hadn’t followed the man’s career nor his love life but knew that you’d had to have been living under a rock to have missed the events of that summer nearly three years ago. She’d known the bare bones of what had happened, not caring over much to dig further. But she had seen its aftermath and the shift in perspective on Tom in the press. That couldn’t have been an easy thing to endure and would certainly explain his…hesitancy.

“I’ve always tried to keep that side of my life as solely mine, as much as I’ve been able.” He continued, still looking at his hands. “I know what the costs were….or at least could be, when I chose to take on this profession. I’d accepted them as part of the…package, if you will. And for a long while I tried to be as open and honest as I could, while keeping the things that were most important to me as safe as I could. I’m not a great man by any stretch but, god, I wanted to be.”

He paused again, reaching absently for his mug and pulling it to his lips. He took a cautious sip before pacing it back down. “My last…That summer taught me a great many things…and put a fair bit more into perspective.” Tom paused again, this time raising his eyes to hers, albeit briefly. “I’ve done many things I’m certainly not proud of. Many things I’d change in a heartbeat if I could.”

Tom picked up his mug and took another sip, this time keeping it in his hands rather than setting it on the table. “When I was at Cambridge I met Amelia,” he began. “Amy. She…we didn’t immediately hit it off. Slightly different paths and such, but eventually we did and she was wonderful. Smart, funny, dedicated…We just seemed to click. She stood by me when I made my intention of attending RADA known, went to as many performances as she could. She was my rock in so many ways when things started to rocket. Everyone around us seemed so certain that we were it for each other and I think…Somewhere along the line I started to take that for granted.”

“Once Thor hit things just…My life literally started to turn upside down. Suddenly everyone wanted to talk to me. Wanted to know who I was, what I had planned. I was invited to places and events that hadn’t been opened to me before. All of the sudden I was getting massive amounts of attention from women in ways I hadn’t ever truly experienced before. I’d been a theatre geek for the majority of my life until that point. I got on well enough but it was always other men that seemed to catch the girls’ eyes. Now I was the one turning heads and I couldn’t for the life of me wrap my head around it. It was flattering, massively so, and after a while I started to flirt back. Nothing major. Nothing serious. But not exactly innocent either. I can’t say for certain when I made the choice to cross that line…but I did. And the horrible thing is I can’t even remember her name now.”

“It was stupid and meaningless and for a brief moment in time I was so certain I’d gotten away with it. Then when I got home and found Amy there…Someone had seen…There were photographs in the paper. I…I was frankly an arse to her when she called me out on it. I told her it hadn’t meant anything. It just happened and it was over and that it hadn’t mattered. I selfishly thought it didn’t matter. Not really. Amy loved me and she’d always been there. Nothing would or could change that. I was so fucking certain.”

Cath’s brow wrinkled in confusion. This certainly didn’t paint Tom in the best of light and she could see why he wouldn’t necessarily be proud of it, but Cath couldn’t understand why exactly he was telling her any of it.  “I don’t think I follow…I mean that probably wasn’t the smartest thing to do but if you and Amy were such close friends, I would think she had to understand…”

Tom winced at her words and she had the distinct feeling she’d missed something vital. “Amy and I…” he started after a few moments silence, “we were….We just…were. One day it was just clear that we’d crossed the line from friendship into an actual relationship and we simply embraced it. It just…it made such sense. And it was something that I assumed would always work. It was just so easy between us. But then I let it all get to my head and she left and I spent so long convinced it was only a matter of time before she came back and everything would be as it always was. I was so bloody certain…”

He shook his head, dropping his chin to his chest, and took a deep breath. Slowly, Tom raised his head again and continued. “She didn’t come back. And I…after a week I went to hers and she…She told me in no uncertain terms she was done. And even then I didn’t fully believe it. I let it all get to my stupid, ego filled head and I just knew…. I knew she’d come back. But I told myself I wasn’t going to wait for her to realize it, I wasn’t going to sit around and just twiddle my thumbs while she came to her senses.” He let out a short, cynical laugh; his self-loathing painfully clear.

“The first woman after…It wasn’t planned. I had gone to the bar at my hotel and had a pint or so….She approached me and I…I didn’t say no. After that it happened quite a lot. Never the same woman and never at mine. I just…I didn’t think. It made it easier not to think. And I was as careful as I could be. I knew the kind of things I was risking if I wasn’t. And it worked, or at least I thought it did. The quite hook-ups and the steady, but controlled drinking. As long as it didn’t hit the papers and I could do my job, I was convinced I was fine no matter what Luke said.”

“By that point I hadn’t heard from Amy in nearly a year. I was back in London for Coriolanus, out with a few mates the night or so before rehearsals were due to start. We’d been drinking and laughing and it was a good time. Some point between one pub and the next I’d stopped to tie my shoe or something, I can’t honestly remember, but I do remember looking up and seeing her…Seeing Amy sitting in a restaurant with a bloke…And it just…It hit me that she wasn’t waiting for me.”

“I just…I lost it. I stumbled my way into a pub and just drank. And drank. And drank. I was pissed. So bloody out of my mind with drink and I let this woman take me home. I didn’t think, didn’t give a flying fuck. I just wanted to forget…We made it to hers and everything happened in a blur…After I found that we hadn’t used any sort of protection…And she acted like it didn’t matter. I panicked and I ran…I just…How could I have been so fucking stupid?”

He let the words hang, not raising his head to meet Cath’s gaze. She didn’t speak either, her mind a jumble of confused emotions; disbelief, pain, grief, uncertainty. “I just…,” he started again after several moments silence. “Luke wanted to skin me alive for my complete lack of regard for my personal safety, my career, and myself. And, god, I wanted to let him. He’d been pushing for me to get help for a good while at that point. Pushing and pushing but I’d stubbornly refused. I was convinced I was handling it. That I could handle it on my own. But at that point I knew…I knew I wasn’t. And while I panicked, Luke arranged everything; a discreet appointment for testing, getting me hooked up with someone who might be able to help me talk out what was going on in my head…tying up the loose ends I’d left hanging in the wind. I just…without him I don’t know where I’d be.”

Tom paused and took a deep breath. “I did everything I could to turn my life around. I threw myself into work, I stopped my random…encounters, and I started therapy to try to get my head on straight. I was lucky….So fucking lucky that I’d been able to get out of the mess I’d made as physically unscathed as I did. The tests all came back clean…God, I got so fucking lucky. And I promised myself. I promised never again. I’d not ever let myself get to that point again. The next year I spent in a flurry of work. One project after another after another with only the smallest of breaks for promotional duties between. I was…Exhausted but I was handling it. Working made it easier, I didn’t have to think. I just did.”

“Looking back now I know I was just trading one crutch for another. I was in therapy, I was trying, but I wasn’t opening up. Not really. I don’t know so much if it were a mental thing or just a stubborn bastard thing, but I just…I wasn’t facing it. Not really. I thought I was. I thought I was getting through all of it and making the best of the life I had. And I probably would have kept on going until I collapsed if it hadn’t been for the announcement in the paper.”

“Announcement?” Cath echoed, confusion coloring her tone. Tom briefly raised his eyes to hers before taking another breath and explained.

“I was at my mum’s, on a quick break between projects, when I found the announcement in the forthcoming marriages section. Amy was getting married. She was officially moving on and it just…It all just hit me. We were well and truly over. She wasn’t ever coming back. And that hurt. It hurt in a way I hadn’t expected. I was over it so why did it feel like the bottom had come off my world? Everyone watched me like a bloody hawk after that. Luke in particular, especially when the invitations came out.”

“She invited you?” The words flew from Cath’s lips quite without her permission. She could have kicked herself as she watched the myriad of emotions that flickered across Tom’s face. He smiled hollowly and continued.

“I didn’t know what to think when I found the invitation with the rest of my post. I’d hurt Amy, and hurt her badly, I’d known that. But she had never, ever, been a vindictive person…Still I couldn’t think of any other reason…Not at first.” He let out a soft, mirthless chuckle. “Emma set me straight…She’d always been close with Amy. She and Sarah both to be honest. But that is neither here nor there,” he added as an afterthought. “She told me this was Amy’s way of showing me she was alright. That I hadn’t…Luke was absolutely against my going. If he could have locked me away that day and thrown away the key he would have and gladly. But I had to go. I just…I needed to know she was okay. And I wanted to prove to myself that I had moved on. That I wasn’t hamstringed by any of it. Not anymore. So I went. And it was lovely. I’ve never seen her so happy. She and Teddy…They made sense in a way we…Didn’t. And I was happy for her. I am happy for her. They’ve got a son now, and he’s wonderful…”

Tom let out a soft sigh. “It hit me at that moment that even though I knew things were over between us and there was nothing whatsoever I could do to change what I’d done, I wanted what she had. I wanted something stable and safe and happy. I just…I can’t explain it…Not really. It’s just that with that mindset after the wedding I found myself in New York and then I met Taylor…She was a breath of fresh air; young and carefree and just so full of life. And I wanted that. I wanted to feel that way with someone again. Looking back I can see that it was never going to work. We were two vastly different people and at two very different points in our lives. But I wanted…So I dove in head first and just ran with it. And when it worked it was wonderful; crazy and exciting but still wonderful. But things just…You can’t live your life that way. It just…didn’t work and we ended.”

“Ending a relationship is difficult enough but doing so in the public eye…It was…So much worse. The press and the fans…Everything just became too much. So I pulled back. And I’ve stayed pulled back. I still put all I can into my work but when it comes to interacting with the world…I’m much more…Guarded, you might say. It’s just easier that way. I’ve also done my best to not…Force things. I’ve dated, casually, since. But I’ve not…There hasn’t been anyone that’s caught me…Until now. And I…It scares me, Cath. It really does.”

He raised his eyes to hers, his own pleading with her for understanding. “I’ve fucked up so much. I’ve made so many stupid, dangerous, mindless choices and for the longest time I felt like maybe that was just what I was meant to do. Just fumble along…That maybe it was better that way. I couldn’t pull someone into the mess my life can be and I couldn’t hurt someone with my own carelessness that way. I’m a mess half the time and I don’t want to be. I have my head on straight for so many things but when it comes to my own life…I just….”

“I want to be better. I want things I had written off ever being able to have. And I want them with you. But it scares me. I’m so fucking frightened that I’m not enough. That what I can offer will never, ever be enough. That I will go and fuck things up again because maybe I’m not able to be really, truly happy. So I’ve pushed and pulled and I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry for not knowing what I want…No,” he said with a shake of his head, “that’s not what I mean…Not being able to accept what I want. Because accepting it meant actually reaching for it and doing so puts not only me at risk…”

“You know, at least objectively, what a life in the public eye can be like…But knowing and experiencing it are such vastly different things. And if I let myself pull you into this…I needed you to go in with your eyes fully open to who I am. To what I am able to offer or else it wouldn’t be right. So,” he paused again, reaching for his now stone cold mug of tea and raising it to his lips and his eyes to hers. After a quick sip, and a grimace at the tepid tea, he continued, “Now you know. You know I’m a mess. But that I want to be better and I want so badly to be see if I can be. With you.”

A million thoughts seemed to swirl in Cath’s mind as she sat and tried to take in everything Tom had told her. None of this, not one bit of it has been what she’d expected. Part of her wanted to run, to put as much distance as she physically could between the two of them; this was far, far too much to take in. Not all at once. But a much louder part of her knew that if she ran now, if she pulled back, that was it. There would be no second chances. No do overs.

She was painfully aware of Tom’s eyes on her. Knew her continued silence was most likely fraying his already tattered nerves. But she couldn’t, for the life of her, think what to say to him. What could you possibly say when someone poured out the darkest parts of themselves to you with no real warning? It floored her the naked trust in that action. This man, this beautiful, guarded man trusted her enough to share a part of himself few, save those in his inner circle, truly saw. Cath didn’t know what on earth do to with that. Didn’t even know where to bloody start.

“I’m sorry.”

Cath blinked up at the sudden break in the excruciating silence that had fallen between them. “What?”

Tom sat, back straight, eyes downcast, hands clutched in his lap. “I’m sorry,” he repeated. “I shouldn’t have thrown this at you. You didn’t ask for any of it. I’m just…” He paused, running a shaking hand through his hair. He took a deep breath before raising his eyes to hers. She could see a faint sheen of tears in them and the strained smile he plastered on his face. “I know this is far too much and you are free to walk away. I completely understand. So don’t…Don’t worry. I will be absolutely fine if you can’t…If you don’t want to tangle yourself in this. So please don’t feel you have to spare my feelings.”

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