#ch: desmond

[sentfromwolves]

break and/monster for anyone from HBABL!! >:)

YES YES YES >:3 LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOO

I'm going to do this for Judge and throw a curveball and do it for Desmond too!!! hehehehehe

　◢ QUESTIONS *

break: What would cause your OC to break down completely? What do they look like when that happens? Has anyone ever seen them at their lowest? monster: Is your OC monstrous in any way? Is there something that makes them monstrous? Are they aware of their own monstrosity? Do they accept it or reject it?

❖ 》　JUDGE ; break ➡

This is so hard to do for Judge HMMMM I think first of all a full break down for Judge is really silent. It can look like he's going catatonic, like you just can't reach him anywhere, he's gone somewhere inside of himself that's too far away for anyone to connect with anymore. All you can do at that point is just sit with him. He's not loud or violent or angry at this kind of lowest of lows. He's just silent and defeated in such an overwhelming way that he completely shuts down. I think in so far as what would cause him to break down completely might be something in the vein of feeling like he's done everything in his power to accomplish something or help someone, and it all amounts to nothing at the end of the day. If he tried so hard to reach someone and save them, or if he tried so hard to be there for someone only to have it amount to absolutely nothing in the end because he gave too much of himself over to them and all they did was take and take and then walk away, it would devastate him. Demon though he is, this man is a recovering people-pleaser, and he has always had a bad habit of giving too much of himself to others and finding himself distraught and alone when they leave him once he feels he has nothing left to give.

❖ 》　JUDGE ; monster ➡

Yeah, Judge is monstrous. He's vicious, destructive, violent, and he will bite. Like a dog that's been beaten all his life, all he really knows now is violence and survival, and while he'll dress himself up as the charismatic demon archetype, when he's pushed into a corner, he'll do anything to get out of it, no matter what it looks like to someone else. The thing about his monstrosity is that it's a product and result of his trauma. It's something that he had to evoke in order to survive, and he carries a huge amount of trauma, shame, and self-loathing around it. Does anyone remember that quote from that one movie haha, where it's a dog saying "I don't know why I bite." That's Judge sometimes, he's just been in a reactive state to the harsh realities of his living situations and experiences for so long that he needs to externalize in ways that can be seen as utterly unhinged and feral to others, but it all roots so deeply inside of his trauma, and he knows deep down he doesn't want to continue living this way forever.

❖ 》　DESMOND ; break ➡

The permanent loss of his brother would undo Desmond completely. He's kind of gaslit himself into thinking that he hates Aleksander to the point of wanting to just Be Better Than Him At Literally Everything, and also wishing with desperate, reckless abandon that Aleksander would just fucking die and stay dead so that Desmond wouldn't ever have to confront the actually incredibly fucked up, complex feelings of guilt, shame, obsessive love, and devotion he has for his older brother. Because he's so desperate to think he can claw these emotions out of his chest, he truly does think that Aleksander permanently dying would be ideal, but if this turned into a reality and Desmond actually did lose his brother, he would shatter entirely. It would be like a dog chasing a car down the highway, sure that catching it would bring them joy, only to be left crippled and destroyed upon collision. That's what would happen to him, he'd be distraught beyond belief. It would ruin him. No one has ever seen him at his true lowest, because Desmond keeps his cards and true self so close to his chest. The only person that has ever come close has in fact been Aleksander, but because Desmond spites him so much, it led to fights and altercations every time. Aleksander has no power to help his brother out of these low points because Desmond would sooner bite off his own arm than reach out and take hold of Aleksander's outstretched hand.

❖ 》　DESMOND ; monster ➡

Oh yeah, Desmond is monstrous. He is a deeply flawed individual, and despite his calm, poised exterior and manipulative tactics, he's constantly and obsessively driven by obsession and envy. Both of these emotions are rooted deeply in his complicated history with his older brother, Aleksander, who has always made Desmond feel like a gnat in the shadow of a giant, constantly working tirelessly just to break free from the looming dark. Desmond wants to kill his brother just as surely as he wants to be recognized by him, and fantasizes about gaining that recognition by killing Aleksander in several different ways. Yes, sometimes these fantasies leave him feeling disgusted, but he continues to obsess over them too. He performs most monstrously whenever it comes to matters regarding Aleksander, but he is also just a despicable man with a lot of power and personal issues. While the core of all of this obsessive love and envy and shame roots deeply in a traumatic moment in his childhood where he inadvertently was responsible for the death of his baby sister and parents, and blamed for it at the time by Aleksander, it doesn't excuse the extent to which he goes to just be a horrendously awful person in his adult life. This guy straight up needs therapy.

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✨Come ask me unsavory questions about my ocs! ( •̀ ω •́ )y✨bonus points if you want to throw them out for the PITS cast, the Berserker crew (Avarice, Josefine, Kai-Ren, Roach, Luka, Haru, etc), or the developing death wip hehe

[1alchemistart]

some doodles!!!!

[trashrat420]

I present to you, the first wave of Project Eden’s Garden memes, I did it for drdt and now I’m doing it for p:eg, and I am proud to admit that there are no spoilers contained in any of these either

What? Chapter 1 deadly life? I have no idea what you’re talking about. Everyone is alive and well and they’re all friends

[aerequets]

I'm sure this has been said before but it's so funny how super spy extraordinaire Twilight cannot see the big fat elephant in the room that is Damian's crush on anya

you got this kid basically going down a checklist of "how to say you have a crush without saying you have a crush". like by the book. and twilight is worried that him dancing with his crush is gonna make them grow further apart. like...

(on the other hand it's probably a good thing bc who knows what plans he'd concoct knowing Damian's soft spot for Anya)

[peanutjinan]

The new chapter really makes me believe that Henderson sees a lot of himself in Damian, and that he is trying to prevent Damian from making the same mistakes that he did.

By prioritizing only his goals, Henderson missed out on love and friendship during his youth, and mentions that he harbors some deep regrets about it.

We see in Ch 39 how he tries to encourage Damian to spend time with his friends instead of just studying all the time, and he helps nurture the bond between Damian, Ewen and Emile.

And in Ch 95, he encourages Damian to participate in the Eden dance event, something he himself declined.

I really love these parallels.

Keep doing a good job in providing Damian with some proper adult guidance, Henry. We all know the boy needs it.

[poopsiesnoopy]

SPY X FAMILY CHAPTER 96

Super late post but I couldn't just not draw them.

The confession. The manga panel.

UGH MY HEART I JUST CANT 🫠

Twilight's tearing up in the background because PLAN B is going swimmingly (not because he had to spend 5,000 dalcs on Anya's dress).

Yor's also scaling the walls so she could see her little babie's first dance ❤️

[stellas-and-tonitruses]

these last 3 chapters more than ever have left me wondering about the timeline of spy x family and in particular,

donovan's age.

i'm not going to go too deep into the full timeline because i simply don't think we have enough info to make a real robust timeline, BUT i do think we can very feasibly approximate donovan's age with our current info.

I also won’t be using any precise years like 1964 or whatever bc at this moment in time I find that to be kind of useless, bc the only years we have happen very early in the story in background details and for a lot of those ones, I noticed endo had a tendency to just carelessly put whatever so long as it looked fine from afar, which includes news that were happening around the time of that chapter's release. SO unless he decides to explicitly highlight actual years, I’m not gonna be like “this happened in 1964 and that happened in 1953” and anything of the sort.

now, i shall partake in my least favorite activity.

✨math.✨

so uh buckle up my fellas and feel free to correct me anywhere where i might be wrong bc i am more than aware that math is NOT my strong suit!

SPOILERS FOR CHAPTERS 97, 98 AND 99!

gonna start with the facts!

according to the spy x family EYES ONLY fanbook, henry henderson is 66 years old at the time of the current events of spy x family! in the past three chapters we have learned that there is a 3 year age gap between him and martha, so that would make her 63 years old currently.

as of the events of chapter 99, he is 22 years old (and martha is 19), assuming there wasn't any years-long time gap that was not mentioned within the chapter! which, it doesn’t seem like there were any MASSIVE time gaps, so I’ll be using those ages for calculating.

so, what all this means is that we are (roughly) 44 years into the past at the moment! previous info about the war of loid and yor's childhoods puts it at around 20 years old, so from where we are in the backstory, we still have roughly 20 more years before Luwen is attacked — clearly, because this first war has already ended with donovan still in school.

while we don't have loid's age, we do have yor's, who is 27 years old — meaning she was born around the time of henry being 39 years old, aka clearly neither loid nor yor have been born yet as of the events of chapter 99. too into the past for now!

now, how am i gonna get donovan's age out of all this?

simple! henry's his teacher and has a talk with him after his jail time.

like I mentioned previously, I shall be sticking to 22 for henry’s age here. it may not be fully correct, it may be a year or two off because we aren’t given concrete details on exactly how long he was in jail, so just take it with a grain of salt! it's only going to remain as a rough estimate until we get a definitive answer on donovan's age.

so! henry has a talk with donovan, but the conversation itself, while very important for the plot and especially for our understanding of donovan’s character, is irrelevant for this conversation. no, what's crucial here is what henry is holding. endo even highlights it by focusing an entire larger panel on it!

it's a history textbook for year 7 students!

it being a history textbook is very poignant for the conversation they're having, but the reason this is important to me is because it's very clearly a year 7 textbook.

now, i don't know how much of eden academy's curriculum is based on the uk! but because pretty much all of the architecture of it is based on eton college and endo has literally just returned from a london trip where he showed us he visited a kindergarten, so i think that's grounds enough for me to assume eden academy's year 7 is generally populated by children between 11 and 12 years old. luckily for me, that seems to be the general age for germany's secondary school year 7 too, so even if it's not the british one, it's still close enough!

with all that being said, if donovan is, say, 12 in that moment and henry is 22, that means there is a 10 year difference between the two of them, which, drum roll please, means donovan desmond is 56 years old when our story's events take place! assuming the war of loid's and yor's childhoods took place exactly 20 years ago (when yor was 7 and henry was 46), this would make him around 36 years old when he became ostania's prime minister! it would also mean he had damian at 50 years old, and if demetrius is 12 right now, that would mean he was born when donovan was 44 years old (and his birth would’ve been in the last years of the war).

so, rough events timeline based on all that, focusing on ages!

66 years ago: Henry Henderson is born.

63 years ago: Martha Marriott is born.

~56 years ago: Donovan Desmond is born.

49 years ago: Martha (14) transfers to Eden and meets Henry (17)

47 years ago: Henry (19) graduates Eden.

44 years ago: Henry (22) joins Eden as a teacher, in the same year becomes Donovan Desmond’s (~12) history teacher. Martha (19) graduates Eden and joins the Women’s Defense Auxiliary.

~44 years ago: Martha (~19) is presumed dead. Henry (~22) faces jail time. The war ends, and he marries.

27 years ago: Yor is born. At that time, Henry is 39, Martha is 36, and Donovan is 29.

~27 years ago. [REDACTED] is also born. Same as above, just approximate this time!

~20 years ago: Second war begins. Yor and [REDACTED] are ~7, Henry is ~46, Martha is ~43, Donovan is ~36. Yuri is born.

~12 years ago: Demetrius is born. Donovan is ~44, Yor and [REDACTED] are ~15, Henry is ~54, Martha is ~51, Yuri is ~8.

~10 years ago: Second war ends. Demetrius is ~2, Donovan is ~46, Yor and [REDACTED] are ~17, Henry is ~56, Martha is ~53, Yuri is ~10.

6 years ago: Damian is born (and most other kids in his and Anya’s grade). Demetrius is ~6, Donovan is ~50, Henry is 60, Martha is 57, Yor is 21, Twilight is ~21, Yuri is 14.

5-4 years ago: Anya is born. Damian (etc.) are 1-2, Demetrius is 7-8, Donovan is ~51-52, Henry is 61-62, Martha is 58-59, Yor is 22-23, Twilight is ~22-23, Yuri is 15-16.

1 year ago: Yuri (19) becomes part of the SSS. Anya is 3-4, Damian (etc.) is 5, Demetrius is 10-11, Donovan is ~55, Henry is 65, Martha is 62, Yor is 26, Twilight is ~26.

I HOPE THAT HELPS PUT THINGS INTO PERSPECTIVE?? melinda is not included bc we have nothing to go off of for her age outside of purely subjective things like her appearance.

super glad endo included the year 7 thing JAKLSDFKLSD

anyway thank you for reading!!! :DD

[kikyocaps]

[flydaze]

DONOVAN IS TRYING SO HARD TO INFECT THEM WITH THE UGLY AND ITS NOT WORKING😭‼️

[alekyareads]

this is sooo cute

in sxf lore there are wery few families who are rich and have stable families. and the ongoing theme of those who care abt children are the good guys, i think there will be a desmond company blackbell industries split as we know that they are business partners.

[ackergarden]

i need him to spend an afternoon with the forgers and yor talking to him now please please please 😭😭😭😭

[sentfromwolves]

midnight: What keeps your OC up at night? Do they have nightmares? Fears? Anxieties? What do they do in the small hours of the morning when they should be sleeping? (for anyone!)

Thank you so much for the ask! I love this one so much, I think I'll do it for the HBABL crew.

also very much tw for: brief mentions of child abuse, sa, and ptsd/trauma symptoms, cannibalism, gore, violence

◢ QUESTIONS *

midnight: What keeps your OC up at night? Do they have nightmares? Fears? Anxieties? What do they do in the small hours of the morning when they should be sleeping? (for anyone!)

❖ 》　NEMESIS ;midnight ➡

Nemesis is routinely in the nightmare zone for the first twenty years of his life. He's literally cursed to die on his 21st birthday and it does keep him up at night. There's a very real fear in him that everything he's trying in order to save his own life is in vain, and he often feels like he's unable to stop the passage of time toward his known death and he can't get off the train tracks in time to avoid collision. He also suffers insomnia because of this and the pervasive, awful pressure of feeling like he needs to use every waking moment he can to try and find a way to break his curse. Unfortunately this isn't the only thing that keeps Nemesis up at night. His nightmares are also very often infused with childhood traumas. His mother was abhorrently physically and emotionally abusive to him for several years before he ran away from home, and living on the run was also incredibly dangerous for a young adult on the streets. Nemesis is incredibly street savvy, but has also experienced assault and severe violence and it's really hard for him to ever find sleep without his need for constant vigilance stopping him from getting anywhere near eight hours of sleep at night.

❖ 》　JUDGE ;midnight ➡

Yeah, Judge also has trouble sleeping, but because he does it where no one can see, no one knows until he opens up about it. He's been cannibalized by his own kind, eaten and regurgitated, torn apart and put back together again, so many times that his body is just a massacre of scars and parts stitched back together somewhat wrong. This constant physical trauma has absolutely left mental scars, and Judge is incredibly hostile about his sleeping space. He's also a wounded, traumatized dog--the kind of stray that starts howling and snarling the moment you get close to the bars of his cage. He's also got additional uhhh memory issues where he does sometimes remember other emotionally abusive situations and startles himself awake, uncertain of who he is or what body he's in.

❖ 》　HALLIDAY ;midnight ➡

Halliday is probably the most well adjusted out of all of these guys and by that I mean he gets eight hours of sleep maybe three times a week, which probably says something big about this cast. He sleeps at night, routinely, and gets nightmares once in awhile, but he's a master at self-distancing from his trauma and also repressing his own experiences until they build and build and burst in the back of his mind and snap him into a place of insomniac anguish and despair. It's kind of like, he'll look away and look away and look away, but the moment he even catches a glimpse of the past in a mirror and gets sucked into that memory again, it haunts him through the night, or inflicts itself into his dreams. Most of Halliday's trauma is from atrocities he's committed and the blood on his hands as a result of his loyalty and faith to his order, which has led him to perform acts of violence in the name of God. A very specific event cracked the delusional mindset he shrouded himself in as a separator between him and his morality and ability to learn, grow, grieve, and change for the better. Now, that specific event, unfortunately, is also his haunting. It keeps him up at night. There's a girl and she's dead because of him, and she keeps him up at night. To a lesser extent, Halliday will also suffer rare nightmares about his mother's suicide, and the emotional trauma he sustained as the unwanted, yet priceless child of his family. He suffers a lot of anxiety over feeling like he should never have been born, that his life is a mistake, and he's good at looking away from it, but it catches up to him sometimes and puts him into a dark, dark space.

❖ 》　DESMOND ;midnight ➡

Desmond is such a fucking weirdo. He sleeps pretty regularly well enough, and not getting eight hours of sleep is more often due to him being a busybody than anything else. Like I've mentioned before, this guy has a really fucked up relationship with his brother. Dreams that dress themselves in the shape of his childhood home and his brother and the traumatic events that killed their parents will startle him awake at night. He'll become prone to anxiety attacks then, where he reverts to the injured parts of himself that are trying so desperately to find some sort of forgiveness for the blame of killing his parents and the blood on his hands. Nightmares where his brother leaves him permanently in ways he can't control (ie. murder) also trigger Desmond deeply, leaving him awake and restless and angry for the rest of the night. I could add more, but it's a bit plot spoiler heavy for him, so I'll bow out on this asshole here.

Come ask me questions about my OCS here!

[1alchemistart]

throwing these here before the new chapter comes out tomorrow ✌️

i actually added captions for when these were made this time, since the dates are more varied AKLJFDL (more recent art that’s whyyy)

[kacievvbbbb]

The Donovan Desmond Theory

In light of the latest chapter.

Donovan Desmond is giving serious Reginal Hargreeves vibes.

But like if I had suspicions that he was a bad dude or at least is involved in some bad things then that’s been cleared up a little bit in the most recent chapters.

I don’t know if I fully believe Desmond is an alien like Melinda thinks I think maybe he has a non human quality to him (like say something like Anya’s powers) combined with his general lack of human understanding it seems I think him being an alien is Melinda’s explanation for what is happening (or you now chances are he could be one but so far the story has remained fairly grounded and so im inclined to believe it will stay that way)

But what I think is most liek let is that he is the one behind the scientific experiments that Anya, bond and probably a whole lot of other dogs and children were subjected to that gave them powers.

Also

Look at the scars on his head. This is just a little lower than where Anya’s comes (which i think are kind of connected to her powers or atleast covering up something connected to her powers) sit. And honestly they just look like brain experimentation scars.

So initially I thought maybe he was the founder of the experimenting giving powers organization looking for a way to perfect or gain powers but now I think that maybe he was one of the first kids to be experimented on. Maybe he was the only one/ one of the only ones/ the most successful experiment, to survive the process and so they make him the poster child of the project and he grows up within it and they are essentially the shadow organization pulling the strings and orchestrating his life. That would explain why he seems to lack so much proper human socialization skills and why he appears odd enough that Melinda thinks he’s an alien.

Or maybe the original organization fell apart in the lead up to the first war and now he’s rebuilding it to try and continue the work or fix what’s wrong with him but I’m inclined to believe he just believes in the work.

All this to say that I think Desmond can read minds like Anya. I think the boys and his family might be part of some side experiment he’s running to see if these powers can be passed down through dna and so he got himself (or the organization set him up with) a family. I think thats the reason he spent a lot of time up close and personal seemingly monitoring Demetrius and his progress. Trying to see if he would develop any special abilities. But he doesn’t and that why Donovan seems to lose interest in his family.

But I think during this time Desmond teaches Demetrius (without explicitly explaining why or what they are doing) how to be impervious to having his mind read I’m guessing incase Demetrius did show promise and would be brought into the fold, and that’s why Anya can’t read him but he seems to have internalized this as simply just not having a stream of consciousness. The only time we hear his thoughts is when he’s thinking about things in the abstract and that’s probably the key to it. He focuses soley on what he is doing right then in every moment and so thereby doesn’t mule anything over enough to have an internal conversation with himself he was probably taught not to “waste time pondering”anything and just to act when it is appropriate to do so, disguised as a very strange business lesson. As he was probably being very intensely instructed on this. But Demetrius shows no signs of any developing powers so Desmond kind of just pushes him to the way side which must have been jarring to suddenly be so unimportant to your father after so many years of such intense observation

Which is why I think Demetrius harbors anger towards his father and doesn’t understand him because what were the lessons for and why did they abruptly stop and why doesn’t anything he do seem to bring them back? But he never really investigates this deeply because the act of not pondering was instilled within him deeply.

So yeah. I think Donovan Desmond can read minds I would also kind of say him saying “this was a worth while evening” after sitting in silence with his family makes me feel like he just read their minds (those of which he could read) and got what he needed to. Which also makes me believe he is still running some kind of passive experiment on them and that’s why he doesn’t want Melinda to interact with Damian so much maybe he’s going the opposite route and seeing if neglect will allow the boys to awaken their possibly latent abilities. I don’t know man I’m just tapping 🤷🏿‍♀️ Donovan Desmond just has the look of someone that’s been experimented on whole Demetrius has the look of someone who withstood all kinds of psychological torture from a young age. Take all this with a grain of salt

[fan-girls-r-us]

[jamethinks]

Spoilers

I already made a post explicitly breaking down how Donovsn abused his family so this is just pure validation to me. The way Melinda talks about Damian or her immediate panic when she feels her husband might find out what she's doing it is like clear someone is putting these feelings into the head.

She doesn't hate Damian she just associates him with pain and frustration.

She's also aware of the way her behavior impacts his behaviour and relationship with other people

This also adds a bit more context to Damian's treatment of Anya which is concerning to say the least but no need to go that far

As always Anya did the right thing

1. Telling Melinda how her son behaves

2. Telling Damian his mother loves him

Its small but it's important and could help the both of them later down the line