#cg lofty

[shhtickerbook]

Burnt Sugar

Wonka agere one shot fic! for all those asking for more CG! lofty content. This was very self indulgent and comforting for me heh. As always A03 link below or just read under cut!

-

Willy Wonka was sitting at his workbench, his chocolate making case taking up the whole table. A line of multicoloured corked bottles sitting on a shelf beside, each labelled with a symbol. (it was much easier than reading small lettering)

With extreme care he used a pipette to sample out just a few drops of liquid sunlight, dropping it into the glass spiral condenser. The amber bead travelling down the clear corkscrew before it made contact into a heated flask filled with a light blue serum. It was supposed to turn an aqua hue, but instead it became more of a mint green. Willy frowned in annoyance, tapping the glass gently to try and encourage it to mix further. Stubbornly it remained the same, it didn’t make sense, he was sure his measurements were correct. Biting in his lower lip as his foot shook up and down as he concentrated.

Very carefully again, he transferred one more drop of the golden liquid through the pipette. But squeezed the dropper a little too hard with his shaking hands, Willy cursing under his breath. He was exhausted to say the least, the past few days had been filled with constant recipe revisions and experiments. This batch was to be of his new idea! Mood lollipops, the idea was that with each lick the candy would change hue and flavour to match your mood. But the mechanics of it were proving to be insanely complex. Scattered papers and sketches of blueprints and experiments littered all around the tabletop and room.

With the excess force added to the dropper, far more than what he wanted poured into the mix. The aqua base quickly turned bright, almost neon green, not before it began to bubble worryingly.

“Nonono-“

Wonka muttered, pulling at his hair anxiously. Quickly he scrambled through his case in search of an ingredient to try and balance out the PH of the elixir. Just managing to find something that could work, but by the time he had turned around the solution was boiling furiously, a foam starting to build and ride up through the glass tubing. Willy didn’t know what to do, he was about to lose hours of work. He pressed his thumb against the neck of the tube, but the green candy mixture rose up to meet his skin, which was burning hot.

“Owwwch!”

He yelped as he removed his hand, the molten sugar having burned a small circle onto his thumb. Sucking on it hard to try and relieve the pain, having to watch in defeat as his hours of work pumped out of the tubing, emerald foam spilling out across his desk. Molten candy mixture spreading over everything, his plans and other important equipment.

Wonka’s face screwed up, clenched hands shaking in frustration. All that work for nothing, the experiments and a complete waste of expensive ingredients, all for him to mess it up and ruin all of it. It wasn’t often Willy got angry, it just wasn’t the kind of person he was. But this was too much, frustration bubbling over just like the melted candy had. In one sweep he attacked his work station, the spiral conductor being thrown from the table and smashing into splinters against the floor. Thick molten candy also exploding into his wall and floor, fusing itself to the surface. Willy scared himself with the noise, flinching away in alarm. He hadn’t meant to destroy it, instantly regretting his decision. The glass spiral now lying in three pieces across the floor.

Said conductor was one of his first pieces of equipment he got, it was whilst he was travelling through Germany in search of ingredients. He’d been feeling under the weather and visited a local chemist, who then introduced him to his laboratory equipment. A world of beakers, flasks, and more. Upon discussion he had the idea of using the them to expand his chocolate making. The old man sold him that conductor for half the usual price, as well as the exchange of a few chocolates of course.

Willy stood in silence as he stared at what he’d done. The smell of burning sugar filling the room horribly. The realisation of what he’d done only made him feel even worse, holding the back of his chair before kicking it over. He didn’t care anymore. Mood lollipops were a stupid idea anyways, he tried to reassure himself. He stepped back before falling to floor, biting hard on his lip. Childish tears threatening to fall, but he squeezed his eyes shut tight to keep them at bay.

He was so caught up in his misery that he didn’t notice the door creaking open, the sound of very small boots entering. Followed by a shocked exclaim in a pertinent voice.

“Willy Wonka what on EARTH has happened in here.”

The Oompa Loompa had heard such commotion from the workshop, having to come investigate. He wasn’t expecting to see such carnage inside, glass and melted sugar everywhere. Putting down a teacup he had in hand, he carefully stepped over broken glass as he looked around in horror at the mess. Willy groaned at the arrival of Lofty, his head buried in his hands. It was the last person he wanted to be around right now.

“Go-way”

He mumbled miserably, he didn’t have the brain to deal with Loftys judgment. But he wasn’t going to get out of it that easily, especially not from Lofty of all people.

“Not a chance, look at the mess you’ve made in here? Why there’s melted sugar stuck to the ceiling of all places!”

He looked up in horror, kicking away pieces of glass as he approached the chocolatier. Who was curled up on himself in complete defeat. Even Lofty realised that he was clearly feeling quite woeful right now, sighing sympathetically.

“Nevermind, we can deal with all this later. Out you get before you break anything else”

The Oompa Loompa barked out the order as he pinched his brow, tugging at Wonkas sleeve. He knew that Willy had been working himself too hard over the last couple days, and was clearly in need of some TLC. But yet again he was ignored, which he didn’t appreciate in the slightest. Placing two hands on his hips he spoke again, more firmly.

“Willy Wonka you are to get up immediately, you’ve been working yourself silly and this nonsense is clearly a direct result of it.”

He gestured again to the mess, Willy lifting his head to look at it apprehensively. It somehow looked even worse, and the state of his favourite conductor broken on the floor just upset him further.

“Leave me ‘lone”

He murmured wearily, glaring at the Oompa Loompa. Who just returned the expression with a glare, meaning business. From the tone of his voice, Lofty began to suspect the boys current state of mind. His tone of voice and body language giving it away.

“I’m not going anywhere, now. OUT.”

His voice rising sternly, Willy jumping at the noise. Before glaring hard and standing to his feet, towering over Lofty as he snarled.

“FINE!”

Wonka yelled back, stomping his way out of room. Nearly bowling the Oompa Loompa right over. Whilst leaving, his boot collided with the last remaining spiral of his conductor. Splintering entirely underneath his shoe, he paused for a moment before continuing outside. Willy felt as if his body was filled with boiling oil, ready to explode just like his chemistry supplies. He marched through his flat, not even sure what to do with himself. He felt overwhelmed, tired, frustrated and any other possible word for just plain horrible! It didn’t help when the set of small footsteps followed behind him curtly.

“Careful! You’re going to track glass throughout the house with that stomping.”

Lofty commented, but it only further aggravated Wonkas mood. His pretentious tone of voice feeling like nails on a chalkboard to his already sour mood. Turning around suddenly as he stopped him in his tracks, Lofty looking up cool as ever with his teacup back in hand.

“Oh don’t you ever SHUT UP!”

Willy threw out his arm, accidently hitting the teacup from Loftys hand. It smashed against the door frame before exploding into ceramic shards.

-

There was a terrible long silence for a moment, once again Willy highly regretting what he’d just done in a temper. Lofty looked at the remains on the floor as his took a breath in, trying to keep his own composure. It was one of his cups from Loompa Land, he had a few others, but it was still a sentimental item from his home. The clay itself collected from the river that ran through the island, before being fired in a uniquely designed Loompa kiln. It was a lengthy process, but the island produced some of the most beautiful ceramic.

He looked right up, making eye contact with the chocolatier. His face was unnervingly neutral in expression, that’s when Willy realised just how big a trouble he was in. Lofty lifted a hand and motioned for Willy to lean down, remaining his stone cold expression.

“Whilst I can understand that you’re feeling upset, that wasn’t acceptable behaviour.”

His tone was slightly different, extremely serious but still gentle. As if someone slowly poured a glass of icy cold water down the back of his shirt. Willy felt his sleeve being pulled, before being taken by surprise as Lofty briskly lead him away. He had to hunch over due to his tiny stature, and tried to pull away. Somehow Lofty’s grip was incredibly strong regardless of his size.

“What are you doing? Let go of me!”

Willy had meant for his tone to come off commanding, but it came out instead as pathetic and whiny. Giving the exact opposite impression he wanted to convey.

“If you are so intent on behaving like a child, then you are going to be treated as such.”

Lofty continued as he led the man into the sitting room, pointing towards the corner where a circular woven rug sat. Willy looking in complete bewilderment, wondering what in the world Lofty was playing at.

“Sit. There. Ten minutes”

Willy frowned in confusion before chuckling in utter disbelief. Once again trying to jerk away from the iron grip on his sleeve.

“You’ve got to be joking me-“

“Oh I certainly am not. If you are choosing to act out like this then you’re going to be treated accordingly.”

He stated, no longer willing to tolerate this misbehaviour. He was well aware that Wonka had times in which he felt younger than his physical age, and all this behaviour pointed towards him feeling so. Acting like a complete brat must be his way to communicate said emotions.

“I-Im not going to be put into a timeout”

Willy said defensively, hating it even more so when he could feel his defensives starting to crumble. The tone of voice and instructions making him feel very vulnerable. His reaction only furthered Lofty’s suspicions of his dwindling headspace.

“Are you sure about that? Because I disagree.”

Lofty firmly pulled him to the corner, before tugging hard down. It was remarkable how strong he was, considering his size. The jolt unsteadying Wonka as he fell onto his rear. It didn’t hurt, but paired with Lofty’s firm expression and his already sensitive emotions?

It made him feel too vulnerable and small, swallowing hard to keep down any tears. But even still against his own self control, a few dribbled over. Curling in on himself as he sniffled to himself miserably, it seemed to be the last straw for his headspace slipping.

Even Lofty sympathetically shook his head at the sorry sight, but had a suspicion that it was what he needed. Wonka was the type of person who far too often bottled up any negative emotion, always trying to keep his signature (and often irritating optimism)

So pulling a pocket watch from his waistcoat, he checked the time.

“Your ten minutes begin now”

Willy looked up with a glare, he didn’t want to wait ten minutes. It wasn’t fair, he hadn’t meant to break Loftys silly teacup. Although there was a part of him that felt guilty about it, it was a pretty teacup. He watched as the Oompa Loompa turned on his heel, gathering each shard of ceramic from the floor.

Wonka didn’t even know why he had even entertained this silly idea, but with his current headspace Willy couldn’t stop the onslaught of tears, mixed with self pity and overwhelm. Whining and groaning from pure frustration, wanting any kind of attention. He wanted Lofty to come over and apologise for putting him here, or at least offer some kind of response. But Lofty didn’t react at all, just continuing to clean. The lack of any kind of reaction though infuriated Willy further.

He’d been placed onto the oval rug, legs tucked up to his chest. So with a huff he kicked both his legs out from underneath him, boots slamming onto the floorboards with a loud clunk. Lofty was faced away as he swept the broken crockery, but sighed before responding.

“Please remove your shoes from the floor, I don’t want you leaving scuff marks on the mahogany”

He sternly requested, Willy swallowing and instinctively pulling his feet back. Cursing himself for being so easily scolded, it was something about his tone of voice that just cut through him like butter. It just built even more anger and frustration within himself. He was scowling to himself when he thought came to mind, remove his shoes Lofty told him.

Fine. He’ll remove his shoes alright. Fumbling a little with the laces, Willy untangled the lace from his boot. Grabbing ahold of the sole he pulled hard to get it off, holding the boot to his chest with a frown. Before he could change his mind, he raised the boot high above his head. And in one angry motion he hurled the shoe hard, colliding with the doorway where Lofty was disposing of the mess. A chunk of the skirting board chipped off from the projectile hitting from such force.

The Oompa Loompa jumped in surprise at the projectile, but still retained his cool exterior. Taking another deep breath to regulate himself, he knew a reaction was exactly what Wonka was trying to get out of him. So he calmly just pulled out his pocket watch once again, resetting the timer with a sigh and a shaking head.

“Congratulations Mr Wonka, you have now had your time reset , with an added five minutes for throwing that shoe. Even think about doing the same with the other one, and you can trust me when I say you’ll be spending the rest of the evening on that mat.”

He spoke with a dead serious tone, turning to look Willy directly in the eye to show he really really meant it. Wonka’s angry body language visibly deflating like a balloon, shrinking down. He knew that Lofty wasn’t taking any more of his tricks. He couldn’t even be naughty properly, just like how he couldn’t finish that stupid recipe. With only one boot on he tucked his legs back under his chin, sniffing as he felt his eyes watering. This time he couldn’t hold it in, bursting into floods of tears. Quickly escalating into bubbling sobs, everything all at once crashing in on itself.

Willy couldn’t even tell what he was crying about, whether it breaking his condenser, yelling at Lofty or being scolded at for throwing the stupid shoe. It seemed to be days of pent up emotion just exploding out of him. His cries ended up hitching and hiccuping , making his head throb horribly. It felt as if he’d been marooned on this silly carpet for hours. After five minutes his sorrowful howling had escalated to the point where he wasn’t sure if he could breathe, any time he tried to stop he just dissolved into panicked sobs again.

Lofty knew that he had no option but to intervene at this point, regardless of his punishment. Slowly walking over before sitting down across from him on the floor.

“Alright you’re going to make yourself sick at this rate, you’re not taking in enough air with your silly gasping.”

Willy looked up through his tears to see the Oompa Loompa sitting across from him. Although still amongst the meltdown, he glared at him.

“Go-a-WAY!”

He yelled as best he could, but his voice cracked and whimpered which ruined the effect he wanted yet again.

“Not happening I’m afraid. Now try take in some deep breaths with me, before you keel over from lack of oxygen.”

Willy’s head was in-fact feeling a bit dizzy, as were his hands that were beginning to tingle with pins and needles. As if he had a fizzy soda pop running through his veins. It was difficult to try and break out of the cycle of hyperventilation, watching closely as Lofty demonstrated. Who placed an orange hand to his stomach, before breathing in deeply.

“Copy as such, hold a hand over your belly and breathe in, hold it for a few moments before letting go. Feel your stomach rise in and out the way as you do so.”

Willy found this all rather silly sounding, but decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. Even if Lofty had been so mean as to put him in timeout. He took in the breath, but halfway through it hitched again. Falling back into the unhelpful gasping.

“Try again, with me this time”

Loftys tone was still firm, but gentle also. Willy swallowing as fat tears kept on spilling over. He nodded and tried again, holding his hands over his belly. This time successfully taking in a deep breath and feeling his stomach rising and falling. He carried on following Lofty’s example for a couple minutes, and although the torrent of tears hadn’t stopped, Willy had managed to calm down a little.

“That’s much better, now would you say we’re done with the tantrum at last? I fear for the house’s interior if we plan on throwing any more shoes.”

Willy nodded tearfully, looking over at the ceramic shards that had been swept into a pile, sitting to the chunk that had been chipped from the skirting board from the boot. Then remembering the mess in his workshop he caused, he just ruined everything.

“Mmso-sorry..”

Face screwing up again, swallowing to try keep himself from falling to pieces again. Lofty sighed sympathetically, shaking his head as he unfolded a handkerchief from his waistcoat.

“Now that’s enough of that, I know it was an accident- well at least some of it was. Regardless, from the look of it you’ve served your time anyways.”

Lofty checking his pocket and watch before he stood up to daub around the chocolatiers hot teary face. A surprisingly gentle and kind action that was quite unheard of coming from Lofty. The fabric was extremely soft, there was even a pretty design embroidered onto it. He was then handed the cloth once Lofty was satisfied with his mopped up eyes.

“Now blow that nose of yours, you’ve probably given yourself a terrible headache.”

Wonka sniffed with a nod, but felt the pretty stitching with his fingers. It felt a little sacrilegious to make it gross by blowing his nose into it.

“It’s too- pretty”

Willy mumbled, the corners were stitched with tiny little exotic flowers and vines. Maybe they were the ones you got in Loompa land. It was a shame that he didn’t spend too much time there on his travels, only a quick stop in search of cocoa beans.

“It’s quite alright, keep it if you’d like. I can always make another.”

Lofty said flippantly, seeing a flicker of a smile in Wonka’s face at the gift. Although it wasn’t like he deserved it from how miserable he’d been acting. It was clear that with Lofty’s small hands he could then create the smallest and most intricate detail.

Even still, Willy didn’t want to ruin it. Stuffing the hanky into his pocket before resolving to use his sleeve to wipe his nose. Much to Loftys utter disgust, Willy just hoping that he wouldn’t change his mind on the gift.

“Ugh, and I give you a perfectly good handkerchief for nothing”

Lofty spoke, shaking his head in disappointment. For the first time Willy letting out a small chuckle, although still between the tears dribbling down his cheeks. Even Lofty couldn’t help but smirk, pleased to see that his spirits had lifted even a little.

“I suppose you can get off that mat now, I gather you’ve certainly learned your lesson.”

Loftys small hand patted Willy’s knee, who took in a deep breath as he nodded. Apart from the headache he already had, Willys head was feeling extremely fuzzy. The outburst had caused him to slip very small, very quickly. Thankfully Lofty had already connected the dots on that matter, and it was very clear Wonka was going to need some caring for this evening. Willy knuckled his bloodshot eyes as he stood up, feeling a slight head rush as he did so.

“Careful! Don’t need to add falling over and flattening me to the list of trouble today.”

Lofty warned, standing and dusting himself off. Looking up at Willy as he stood fidgeting with his hands. Not quite sure what to do with himself, thankfully Lofty took charge again. Despite his towering size over him, all he could see above him was a tired little child. One that seemed to be in desperate need of some comfort and rest.

“Come on then, let’s get you settled and into bed.”

Lofty held up his hand, just high enough so that Willy could hook a finger into the palm of his small hand. Willy allowing himself to be lead through the flat, his other hand making its way to his lips as he chewed on his thumbnail. It was only early evening, but Wonka felt exhausted regardless. The upset had taken all the energy from his system and left him drained and weary. Lofty swiftly delivered the boy to his bedroom, greeted by the warm red and pink tones decorated throughout.

Similar to his childhood home, Willy had a bed built into the wall much like his mother’s canal boat. The structure having a short ornate barrier that on the boat was meant to prevent one from falling out during a storm. Although no longer on the water, it was an aspect that Willy always found comforting. The raised sides creating a safe barrier, he often fell out of his ramshackle bed at scrubbits during the night when he stayed there. The hardboard flooring extremely unforgiving to your body when you fell upon it. Even still, there was also a homemade rag rug sitting on the floor beside. Noodle and her Mother had made it for him as a housewarming gift for when he first moved into his new home.

Willy let go of Lofty’s hand to kneel down on the floor to run his hand over said item. It was made from scrap pieces of multiple kinds of fabric tied together, he liked the texture of it.

All the while Lofty tutted at the rooms lack of organisation, disapprovingly picking up a discarded vest that was lying on the ground.

“Really Mr Wonka, you’re too old to be keeping your room in such a sorry state”

Lofty couldn’t help but comment, before looking over at the little chocolatier who was just kneeling on the carpet, running his hand over its surface, the other chewing on his thumb. Lofty realised his own irony of his comment, chuckling to himself.

“Well, perhaps not at the moment I see”

There was something endearing about Wonka like this, well apart from the tantrum. That part he could live without, but you can’t exactly pick and choose these things. Willy himself was feeling very small, head fuzzy and little. But especially tired, he was so sleepy. He hadn’t been sleeping properly for the past couple days, mind too busy with calculations for new candies and chocolate.

“You need to get into bed, get changed into your nightclothes and I’ll return in a few minutes with some sustenance.”

Lofty called, Willy turning away from the rug to look over with a weak nod. Eating and drinking properly was yet another matter that he’d been neglecting. By his bed sat a drawer containing his nightclothes, deciding to just shuffle on his rear over rather than walk.

Willy ended up deciding on his favourite pair, an incredibly soft magenta material. It had small gold buttons down the middle though, and he had a little trouble getting them done up. The fabric felt heavenly against his skin, the material reminding him of one of his mother’s old smocks. With his eyes closed he held the sleeve close to his cheek, just imagining the sweet smell of her perfume, a soft gentle tune being hummed.

On his bed he spied a familiar looking companion, a navy knitted toucan was peaking his beak from beneath the blanket. Willy pulling himself up to crawl onto his bed, carefully collecting his bird friend, Chester. Both button eyes looking up at his own red bloodshot ones from crying. He manoeuvred his wing to reach up and wipe his own eyes.

don’t cry willy, it’s okay

As Willy continued his imaginary conversation with the stuffed animal, Lofty re-entered the room. Holding a wooden tray with him, he couldn’t help a fond chuckle at seeing the man in some kind of whispered conversation with the inanimate object. Wonka heard said laugh though, head whipping around as he threw the plush behind him. His face burning scarlet, Lofty must find him so silly.

But the Oompa Loompa wasn’t phased in the slightest, shaking his head with a small knowing smile.

“I believe I’ve already met- Charles is it? Before, no need to throw him away in my presence”

He reassured indifferently with a shrug, Willy feeling a little better.

“Chester! name is Chester.”

He had to correct the mistake, frustrated that Lofty had once again forgotten his name. Lofty simply looked up and shook his head.

“My apologies Chester”

Willy then turned to pick up the toucan again, whose eyes had been a bit skewed by being thrown. Which gave him a very understandable expression of annoyance.

ouch! You’re lucky I didn’t split a seam there. Charles though huh? Makes me sound fancy, don’t mind it.

Willy held the bird close to his chest in apology, who thankfully was very forgiving. Lofty approaching and placing the tray on the side table. On it sat two drinks, one small mug of tea, and a glass bottle of what looked to be hot chocolate.

Willy blushed a little again at the sight of it, remembering it had been something Abacus had purchased for him. A rubber nipple was stretched over the neck of the glass bottle to keep it sealed.

“Abacus already warned me of your capability of spilling drinks when you’re feeling young, I thought especially right now, it’s what you need”

Lofty stated matter of factly, not willing to risk Wonka creating any more mess tonight. Willy looked down played with his fingers, feeling a bit torn on whether he wanted it or not. But before he could make a decision, Lofty caught sight of something, clicking his tongue.

“Oh for heavens sake let me fix those buttons, you’ve created quite a mess of it.”

Without hesitation he reached forward to fix them, unbuttoning and rebuttoning each row. Willy hasn’t even realised he’d buttoned each row into the wrong buttonhole, looking down to watch as Lofty small hands fixed the error. Chuffing to himself smugly when finished, Willy didn’t think he could feel any smaller. The simple action had sunk him even further into headspace, but he appreciated how Lofty took charge like this. There was no room for him to start second guessing or feel self conscious.

So when Lofty did offer the bottle afterwards, he didn’t hesitate and took it with both hands. It was hot, but not so hot that it burned. It was filled with a milky sweet hot chocolate, whilst Lofty sipped on his own dark mocha.

“Cmon, into bed now. I do say there may be a possibility of a story if you get settled quickly.”

With widened eyes Willy quickly scrambled beneath his blanket, he did love stories so. Abacus always read in his comforting baritone rumble, but he’d never had a story yet from Lofty. There was a small stack of hardback books piled underneath a shelf, yet another gift from Noodle. She knew how much Willy enjoyed books, whilst both little and big now. But he had a soft spot for these picture books, they were short and had easy rounded lettering.

Pointing at the stack once settled inside bed, Lofty began to sift through them. Smiling at the charming watercolour illustrations, each book was its own story but they seemed to all share the theme of the characters being animals who acted much the same as humans. Beginning to understand now that Willy struggled with decision making at the moment, Lofty chose one of the books himself. Settling on one which depicted a family of kittens performing household chores.

Willy smiled when recognising the title, reaching out to trace the covers illustration when Lofty perched on the bed beside him.

“Now are we all comfortable?”

Lofty turned to see the chocolatier tucked into bed, the small toucans beak hooked over the covers. Willy held the bottle in both hands, only realising now that he was quite peckish. The hot chocolate was soothing against his raw throat from crying, and he guzzled it down eagerly. Although he was quickly interrupted with a gentle nudge of the elbow from Lofty.

“You’ll give yourself hiccups again if you drink it too fast Wonka, it’s not going anywhere.”

He chastised, Willy releasing the grip on the bottle with a sheepish giggle. Lofty then returning to the book, reading out the title in a clear gentle tone.

“Five little Kittens…”

By the end of the story, the rest of the bottle had been drained to nothing. Willy loved the book, even more so with Lofty reading. He would often pause between pages to rely his own thoughts and comments, which made Willy laugh. Surprisingly Lofty also did voices! Lowering his pitch up and down for each of the different feline characters.

“Alright then, how about one more and you try get some rest.”

Lofty spoke quietly, wanting to settle the boy in hopes he would fall asleep. Willy’s eyelids were beginning to flutter, the hot chocolate having filled his belly with a bloom of warmth. Lofty just chose the next book in the stack, this one’s cover featuring a squirrel in a blizzard whilst he hid inside a tree trunk.

By the time that Lofty had gotten through the middle of the story, he heard a gentle rumbling from beside him. Willy Wonka completely out for the count, snoring softly with one hand still ahold of the glass bottle. It was an endearing sight, even Lofty couldn’t lie. With a fond chuckle, he laid a hand to gently stroke his brown curly hair from his face.

“I do say, I definitely prefer you like this.”

[oathofkaslana]

houkai moments that make me homophobic:

kiamei reunion cg from chapter 32 where theyre holding each other and mei’s looking at kiana so gently what the fuck

“you will be down this lonely path.” “it doesnt amtter. its a fate i shouldve succumb to years ago.” “you will leave her for all of eternity” “…” “you will never be by her side nor see her smile nor take her hand” ← the fact that That was the only thing tht made mei pause.

“kiana, you always do this. you always do this. even when you’re battered and beaten you’d still force a smile. you saved me, you saved all of us, but you still shoulder everything at the cost of your life” “mei… this is my mission.” “i understand lofty aspirations such as saving the world, but how can i endure when i know deep down in my heart, the world means nothing to me without you.”

“all i wanted was to see her again, tell her how i feel. is that so bad?” “… im trying to figure the answer to that aswell.” “is that so? then i hope you dont end up like us.”

sinseele christmas kizuna where seele’s sitting between sin mal’s legs while sin is playing w her hair OUGH.

bronya giving seele a bittersweet smile as she asks her to forgive her and saves seele over herself dear god.

kallen’s “this is our oath please help me protect my beloved sakura” and sakura’s “beloved, your kin shall live. yae sakura shall fade. can she feel the love that spans over five centuries?”

“in my head everyone looks like monsters. matushkas a statue and seele’s a shinigami with a scythe. only bronya was normal and beautiful.” OUGHHHGHHHGHGHGHHHGHHHGH SHUT UPPPPPPPP.

“ the next to come was aponia. she looked so gorgeous in that dress i hardly recognized her. she said, ‘i detest fate for taking you away but i thank fate for bringing me to you.’ isnt that such an aponia thing to say? she told me she’d do whatever i wanted with me. so i grabbed her hand and went to play girl games~”

“if kiana prefers it bold like purring in my arms”

elymei “her heart traced her out”

[chennaiblowers]

TWIN LOBE ROOTS AIRBLOWERS

S.V.ENGINEERS

About Us: S.V. Engineers

www.svblowers.in

Welcome to S.V. Engineers, where every journey begins with a vision and every success story starts with dedication. Established in 2009 in the vibrant city of Chennai, Tamil Nadu, S.V. Engineers embarked on its entrepreneurial voyage under the dynamic leadership of A. Sankar, a visionary at the tender age of 23. With divine grace, the blessings of elders, and the unwavering support of friends and family, what started in a modest space spanning below 100 sq.ft blossomed into a thriving enterprise.

In its nascent stages, S.V. Engineers focused on the meticulous servicing of air blowers and pumps, catering exclusively to the Chennai market. However, fueled by ambition and a commitment to excellence, within three years, the company witnessed exponential growth. A pivotal turning point was reached when S.V. Engineers diversified its offerings to include sales of a myriad of esteemed brands encompassing air blowers (Everest, Kay, Ingersoll Rand) and pumps and motors (Kirloskar, CG, CRI).

The driving forces behind S.V. Engineers' meteoric rise are rooted in Sankar's indefatigable work ethic, unwavering positivity, and lofty aspirations for his business. With each passing day, the company's footprint extended beyond Chennai, encompassing the entirety of Tamil Nadu, Kerala, Andhra Pradesh, Telangana, Karnataka, Puducherry, and Goa.

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Industrial Air Blowers: From twin lobe roots air blowers to centrifugal blowers, inlet blowers, axial fans, cabinet & circular inline fan blowers, fresh air ventilation blowers, and exhaust blowers, we cater to various industrial applications with precision and reliability.

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Present Day: 2024

Fast forward to the present day, and S.V. Engineers operates from a spacious 1000 sq.ft facility located in Velapanchavadi, Chennai. Despite the growth and expansion, our core values remain unchanged – integrity, quality, and customer-centricity.

Join us at S.V. Engineers as we continue to redefine standards and push the boundaries of excellence in the industrial sector. Experience the difference with S.V. Engineers, where innovation meets reliability, and every solution is crafted with care.

[thewertsearch]

EB: do they go back in time? CG: YEAH, OBVIOUSLY. GREAT GUESS BRAIN HERO. CG: BUT TECHNICALLY THEY AREN'T EVEN SENT BACK IN TIME BECAUSE WITH RESPECT TO THE MEDIUM YOUR UNIVERSE'S TIMELINE IS MEANINGLESS.

I think I’m starting to understand this concept of a 'temporally dislocated' Incipisphere.

It’s not 2009 in the Medium - 2009 is just a setting on an Appearifying machine, and it’s just as easy to turn the dial to 1985, or 2015. The only timeframe that’s actually relevant is your own personal, subjective timeline.

CG: A PARADOX CLONE IS BY DEFINITION A CORRECTLY CLONED DUPLICATE THAT WILL INEVITABLY GO BACK IN TIME AND BECOME THE ORIGINAL TARGET THAT WAS CLONED.

A true paradox clone can only be created under very specific circumstances.  You can only make a true paradox clone if your target was already cloned in the first place.

EB: what is the riddle anyway? [...] CG: IT'S NOT EVEN THAT GREAT. CG: OR EVEN MUCH OF A RIDDLE AT ALL. CG: IN THE COURSE OF YOUR ADVENTURE YOU WOULD HAVE ENCOUNTERED ALL THESE FRAGMENTS OF LIKE WEIRD POEMS AND SHIT. CG: YOU FIND THEM ALONG YOUR QUESTS, WITH CLUES AND STUFF BURIED IN THEM TO HELP YOU SOLVE PUZZLES AND MOVE HUGE STONE COLUMNS AND MAKE STAIRCASES APPEAR AND LOTS OF NONSENSE LIKE THAT.

As I theorized, you’re supposed to solve the Riddle by consolidating the game's various sources of information. This is what Nanna’s ‘ultimate riddle’ allusion was hinting towards - it’s a hidden objective that you need to piece together yourselves.

CG: BUT WHAT ALL THESE LOFTY SYMBOLIC ALLUSIONS BOIL DOWN TO IS SOME GRANDER STATEMENT ABOUT WHAT YOU SEE HAPPENING HERE. CG: THAT YOU WERE ALWAYS THE KEY TO SEEDING YOUR OWN EXISTENCE THROUGH THIS GAME. CG: AND ANY HOPE THAT IT COULD HAVE PLAYED OUT DIFFERENTLY OR THAT YOU COULD HAVE AVOIDED THIS WHOLE MESS WAS ALWAYS JUST A RUSE.

Specifically, it seems to be tied to Sburb's most pervasive mechanic - predestination. Part of understanding the Riddle is understanding that the Veil has had you locked into your fate from the moment you opened your eyes.

....does anyone else see a huge hole in CG’s explanation here? One that’s tied to a more general issue with the concept of a paradox clone? One that I’ve been thinking about for the last couple of days?

A hole that’s... kind of bird-shaped?

CG: BECAUSE IF IT DIDN'T GO DOWN THIS WAY THEN HOW WERE YOU EVEN BORN, GET IT.

CG is implying here that John needed to do this cloning for the Players to have existed at all, and he’s logically correct. But Davesprite’s timeline had no John to do the cloning, and therefore, it didn’t go down this way.

But this didn’t seem to be, like, a problem?  Sure, Rose and Dave lost contact with the trolls, but they didn't blip out of existence when they moved out of the timeline that created them. Unless I’m missing something really obvious, it looks like Sburb’s loops are easy to escape. 

Paradox clones - and, in a broader sense, all Sburb’s loops, like the Beta and the Package - only make sense in the timeline we’ve been focusing on. There should logically be many timelines where the Veil didn’t happen like this - we just haven’t seen them yet. 

Statistically, predestination should be total bogus, unless you happen to be viewing one of the rare timelines where all the loops close properly. The kids should almost never be locked into this fate. 

CG: REALLY THERE'S NOTHING MORE TRAGIC THAN THESE NULL SESSIONS FULL OF KIDS ENTERING THE GAME AND FULFILLING SOME COSMIC DESTINY SHIT JUST TO GET WIPED OUT AND LEAVE BEHIND AN EMPTY POINTLESS INCIPISPHERE FOR ALL ETERNITY.

Anyway, CG seems to be saying here that the kids were always destined to fail. This also doesn’t make sense. What does the game achieve by forcing its players to fail? 

This is all so weird.

[minkonn]

Tempero, the Soul

Devlog 4# - Black and White Jam

Four days down, seven days to go! Here’s some concept art taken from my sketchbook for the game’s silent and restrained main character, Tempero! They are the soul who we follow through limbo, with lofty aspirations to rise to the paradise above.

It’s character design and the overall art-style is little messy, but I’ll revise it as I make more sprites and other in-game cgs :]

Outside of concept art, I’m working hard on the script and I should have it done soon! Since the planned gameplay for this game is pretty much already set-up in RPGmaker’s engine by default (aka simply interaction and movement as it’s more of a story-focused adventure/exploration style experience) the story and script has taken up most of my time, and I’m going to (starting tomorrow) share it with other RPGmaker moots and irl friends who are indie game fans to get their opinion on it :D See you in the next log!

[aion-rsa]

Did The Dark Knight Really Influence the Marvel Cinematic Universe?

https://ift.tt/2QyP40k

In 2008, there were two seismic events in the superhero movie genre so close together that you’d be forgiven for thinking they signaled the same thing. Over the span of a few months, Marvel Studios launched the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) via Iron Man, and director Christopher Nolan changed the perception of how seriously to take these movies with The Dark Knight. Both are credited as watershed moments for how audiences and (more importantly) the industry approached such stories; and The Dark Knight is specifically singled out as the gold standard by which all other masked crimefighter films are measured.

However, was Nolan’s haunting vision—one in which a lone avenger is the last, best hope for a major American city on the verge of collapse—really that influential on its genre? The Dark Knight certainly had a monumental impact on the culture, then and now. You saw it when Heath Ledger’s searing interpretation of the Joker made him only the second actor to win a posthumous Oscar, as well as when the film’s exclusion from the Best Picture race changed the way the Academy Awards handled its top prize. And just last year, The Dark Knight became only the second superhero movie inducted into the National Film Registry.

Yet when a friend watching last week’s The Falcon and the Winter Soldier premiere told me Marvel was returning to the “realistic” approach of Captain America: The Winter Soldier, and by extension The Dark Knight, I couldn’t help but disagree. The new Disney+ series may have a slightly more grounded aesthetic than the last time we saw these characters (back when they were fighting space aliens over magic stones in Avengers: Endgame), but the medium-blending existence of the series belies the idea that Marvel took anything significant from the insular and self-contained Dark Knight Trilogy.

The Dark Knight vs. Iron Man

It’s interesting to look back at just those 2008 films since at face value they bore minor similarities. They both were focused on fantastically wealthy billionaires using their fortunes to fight wrongdoing on a potentially global scale; each movie was directed by filmmakers with indie cred thanks to Nolan helming Memento (2000) and Jon Favreau writing and starring in Swingers (1996); and each starred unexpected casting choices with Ledger as the Joker and Robert Downey Jr. jumpstarting a career comeback as Tony Stark.

But their goals and approaches were worlds apart. The obvious thing to note, besides The Dark Knight being a sequel to Batman Begins (2005) and Iron Man being an origin movie, is that Iron Man had an slyly hilarious sensibility, and The Dark Knight fancied itself an allegory about post-9/11 America. The former’s success was engineered in large part by Downey’s gift for comedic improvisation and freestyle. Indeed, co-star Jeff Bridges said in 2009 that he, Downey, and Favreau were essentially improvising their scenes from scratch every day during primitive rehearsals. “They had no script, man,” Bridges lightly complained with his Dude diction.

By contrast, The Dark Knight appears at a glance to be an exercise in self-seriousness and lofty ambition. Every scene, written by Nolan and his brother Jonathan Nolan, appears like a chess move, and each character a pawn or knight who’s been positioned to put contemporary audiences in a state of pure anxiety with War on Terror imagery and dialogue. Of course this clocklike presentation is itself another Nolan illusion, as smaller players like Michael Jai White, who portrayed gangster Gambol in the movie, have been quite candid about. As with almost every film, there is still a level of fluidity and workshopping on Nolan’s set.

Ultimately, the bigger difference between the Nolan and eventual Marvel approach is what each is hoping to accomplish with the film they’re currently making. More than just offering a “realistic” vision of Batman, The Dark Knight attempted to tell a sweeping crime drama epic that would stand alone, separate from its status as a Batman Begins sequel. Rather than being “the next chapter,” The Dark Knight was meant to be a cinematic distillation of Batman and Joker’s primal appeals writ large. With this approach, the film also broke away from the superhero movie template Batman Begins followed three years earlier, and which nearly all superhero films still walk through the paces of.

In essence, The Dark Knight showed that superhero movies could be dark and mature, yes, but they can also be subversive, unexpected, and genuinely surprising. Nolan’s previous superhero movie, as good as it is, followed the beats set down by Richard Donner’s Superman: The Movie nearly 30 years earlier. They’re the same beats trod by Iron Man and pretty much every other superhero origin movie, including a large bulk of Marvel Studios’ output. The Dark Knight, by contrast, reached for a cinematic vernacular separate from its specific genre. The movie’s not subtle about it either. The opening scene of Nolan’s epic wears its homages to Michael Mann’s Heat on its sleeves, and the story’s structure has more to do with Jaws than Jor-El.

The approach shook audiences in 2008 after they’d come to expect a certain type of movie from masked do-gooders. In The Dark Knight, superhero conventions could be subverted or obliterated when love interest Rachel Dawes is brutally killed off mid-sentence, or stalwart Batman is forced to claim a pyrrhic victory over the villain by entering into a criminal conspiracy and cover-up with the cops. The thrill of novelty was as breathtaking as the movie’s allegorical elements about a society on edge.

And even with The Dark Knight’s open-ended finale, it stood as a singular cinematic experience, complete with then-groundbreaking emphasis on IMAX photography. Nolan was so adamant about making this as self-contained an experience as possible that he jettisoned his co-story creator David Goyer’s idea of setting up Harvey Dent’s fall from grace for a third movie. Dent’s fate, as that of everyone else’s, would be tied strictly to the events of the movie you’re now watching.

“We Have a Hulk”

In Iron Man, and then more forcefully in Iron Man 2 (2010) and the rest of its “Phase One” era, Marvel Studios demonstrated a wholly different set of priorities. Similar to how Batman Begins paved the way for Nolan to do what he really wanted with that material, Iron Man 2 came to encapsulate Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige’s grander designs for the type of movies he was making. Where The Dark Knight was singular, unconventional, and two steps closer to our world than its comic book origins, Iron Man 2 was episodic, entirely crafted around audience expectations for a sequel, and even more like a comic book world than our own.

In other words, the first Iron Man gently submerged audiences into the fantasy by beginning with contemporary images of Tony Stark in a Middle Eastern desert; Iron Man 2 then made sweeping strides in defining what that MCU fantasy is as quickly as possible: Natasha Romanoff, aka Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) is introduced solely to establish the superspy who will be vital to The Avengers two years down the road, and the central narrative about Tony Stark fighting an old rival is put on pause to reintroduce the character Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) as a supporting, and superfluous, side character. The post-credit scene even arbitrarily introduces literal magic with a glowing hammer that has absolutely nothing to do with the story you just watched. Still, it’s a hell of a teaser for Thor which was due in theaters a year later.

With the release of Iron Man 2, Marvel Studios’ emphasis became diametrically opposed to the driving concept behind The Dark Knight Trilogy. Rather than each film being an insulated, standalone cinematic experience like the Hollywood epics of old, Marvel’s movies would be interconnected episodes in an ongoing narrative saga that spanned multiple franchises and countless sequels. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Unlike Nolan after The Dark Knight, Feige and his stable of writers always know where the next movie (or five) is going, and have a better idea of what the overall vision is than any single director working within this system. Ironically, this returns power to the studio and producer as the seeming authorial voice of each movie. Like in the Golden Age of Hollywood, directors are more often hired hands than influential auteurs.

However, this means the aspects Nolan really valued on The Dark Knight beyond a gritty “realism”—elements like spontaneity, subversion, and a distancing from superhero tropes—became antithetical to the type of movies produced by the MCU. For at least the first decade of its existence, the Marvel Cinematic Universe flourished by creating a formula and house style that is as predictable for audiences as the contents in a Big Mac.

When you go to a Marvel movie, you more or less you’ll get: an ironic, self-deprecating tone, a story that often revolves around a CG MacGuffin that must be taken from the villain, and a narrative in which disparate heroic characters come together after some amusing, disagreeable banter. In fact, more than Iron Man, it was Joss Whedon’s The Avengers (2012) which refined the Marvel formula into what it is today.

There are of course exceptions to this rule. Black Panther became the first Marvel movie since Iron Man to arguably tackle themes significant to the real world, in this case specifically the legacy of African diaspora. It also became the first superhero film nominated for an Oscar for Best Picture as a result; James Gunn’s Guardians of the Galaxy movies might follow the narrative formula of most MCU movies, but they’re embedded with a cheeky and idiosyncratic personality that is distinctly Gunn’s; and in Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014) and Captain America: Civil War (2016), directors Joe and Anthony Russo, as well as screenwriters Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely, attempted to inject a little bit of that “realistic” aesthetic from The Dark Knight. But only to a point.

Particularly in the 2014 effort, there was a push by the Russos to rely on in-camera special effects and cultivate what they often described in the press as a “1970s spy thriller” style. Ostensibly, the hope may have been to make The Winter Soldier as much a spy thriller as The Dark Knight was a crime epic. In this vein, there were even attempts to graft onto the story very timely concerns about the overreach of a government surveillance state, which had only grown in the decade since the U.S. PATRIOT Act was passed, despite a change in White House administrations. However, all of these ambitions had an invisible ceiling hovering above them.

Despite having overtones about the danger of reactionary if well-intentioned government leaders, like the kind personified by Robert Redford’s SHIELD director in the movie, Captain America: The Winter Soldier couldn’t become too focused on the espionage elements or too far removed from the Marvel house style. The story still needed to interconnect with other Marvel films, hence Redford’s character turning out to be a secret HYDRA double agent, and it still needed to give audiences what they expected from a Marvel movie. Thus how this “1970s spy thriller” ends in a giant CGI battle with citywide destruction as Captain America inserts MacGuffins into machines that will blow up HYDRA’s latest weapon for world domination.

It’s easy to wonder if the movie was developed a little longer, and didn’t have to play by a certain set of rules and expectations, that instead of backpedaling into comic book motivations, Redford’s character would’ve been a well-intentioned patriot amassing power “to keep us safe,” and in the process destabilized the institutions he claimed to revere.

Read more

Movies

What Did Batman Do Between The Dark Knight and The Dark Knight Rises?

By David Crow

TV

WandaVision: The Unanswered Questions From the Marvel Series

By Gavin Jasper

A Universe Without End

The Marvel method breeds a heavy need for familiarity and comfortable predictability, as opposed to disorientation and discomfort. Yet both methods are valid. While Nolan achieved near universal praise for The Dark Knight, his attempt to replicate it with the even more ambitious The Dark Knight Rises—an unabashed David Lean-inspired epic that took more from A Tale of Two Cities and Doctor Zhivago than DC Comics—left fans divided. It also was a narrative dead end for the corporate/fanbase need of an ongoing franchise. Nolan instead reached a final, artistic, and emphatic period for his cinematic interpretation of Batman mythology. By comparison, Marvel Studios has created a new cinematic vernacular that only ever uses dashes, semicolons, and commas. There is always more to tell.

Nolan reflected on these changing circumstances for superhero movies in 2017 when he said, “That’s a privilege and a luxury that filmmakers aren’t afforded anymore. I think it was the last time that anyone was able to say to a studio, ‘I might do another one, but it will be four years.’ There’s too much pressure on release schedules to let people do that now, but creatively it’s a huge advantage.”

This lines up with what Jeff Bridges said about the evolution of the Marvel method way back in ’09 after the first Iron Man: “You would think with a $200 million movie you’d have the shit together, but it was just the opposite. And the reason for that is because they get ahead of themselves. They have a release date before the script [and they think], ‘Oh, we’ll have the script before that time,’ and they don’t have their shit together.”

Bridges’ unhappiness with the new process notwithstanding, Marvel was rewriting the playbook about how these types of movies were made. Nolan’s approach of one at a time and years-long development processes created three distinctly different and relatively standalone Batman movies. But Marvel has shifted the idea of not just what a franchise can be, but also what cinematic storytelling means.

Instead of three movies, their rules and structures have generated dozens of well-received and adored entertainments, that when combined can produce experiences as unique as Avengers: Infinity War (2018) and Avengers: Endgame (2019): two movies that were more like a two-part season finale on TV than individual stories. And the latter became the highest grossing film of all time.

The success of this approach is further underlined when one considers competitors that tried to emulate both Marvel and Nolan’s approaches, relying on a lone auteur to build a shared cinematic universe—while also arguably taking the wrong lessons from the “dark” in The Dark Knight title. In the case of the DC Extended Universe, that approach collapsed on itself after three movies, leaving the interconnected “shared” part of its universe in tatters, and fans and studio hands alike divided on how to proceed with the franchise.The Marvel Cinematic Universe took a narrower road than that of The Dark Knight. But it turned out to be a lot smoother and much, much longer.

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from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3lKi0hp

[ploppythespaceship]

So I watched the Artemis Fowl movie...

Usually I make a list of good things and bad things in my reviews, but in this I literally do not have one good thing to say. Artemis Fowl fails as an adaptation, and it fails as a movie. It’s almost incomprehensible how terrible this film is -- Percy Jackson looks competent by comparison. So instead of my list, I’m gonna just talk about why it sucked.

The Plot

The movie combines the plots of the first two books in the series, with a few elements from later books tossed in for good measure. In the first book, Artemis learns of the existence of fairies and takes one hostage -- Captain Holly Short -- in order to extort them. In the second book, Artemis’s father has been captured, prompting Artemis to team up with Holly to rescue him.

The problem with combining these two is that they are fundamentally different stories. The latter relies greatly on the former to be well set up. Additionally, both are rather busy stories that need time and focus to do them well. The tension of Artemis holding Holly captive works because it lasts for a significant portion of the book. The development of Artemis teaming up with Holly works because they have hated each other for over a book now. This does not happen in the film. Everything is rushed, leading to a jumbled mess that barely makes any sense.

Artemis’s father is captured by Opal Koboi (a villain from the later books who does little to nothing in this film), who demands that Artemis give her something called the Aculos (a mcguffin that the movie made up). Artemis then captures Holly, and demands the Aculos as ransom. But when the fairies have no interest in giving him this ransom, Artemis teams up with Holly. Because it turns out her father, Beechwood, stole the Aculos years ago, and Artemis’s father knew Beechwood. The fairies send in a dwarf named Mulch to break in, and he locates the Aculos in the Fowl Manor. Mulch then teams up with Artemis, and there’s a long sequence where everyone fights a troll. Once that’s done, Holly uses the Aculos to rescue Artemis’s father. The end.

If you’re thinking that this plot makes no sense, that’s because it doesn’t. Information is presented at the strangest times, making things impossible to follow. Not to mention that character allegiances are constantly shifting for no discernible reason. There is no reason for Holly to trust Artemis, or vice versa -- yet they declare themselves “forever friends” before the end of the film. I can’t even tell you why Mulch sticks around, he just does.

The movie is also terribly paced. Despite only being ninety minutes long, it feels like it drags on for an eternity. Alternating between Artemis and Holly in the opening creates a distinct lack of tension, making it impossible to stay invested in any one thing for too long. Topping the whole thing off is the movie’s framing device -- the story is narrated by Mulch, as part of an interrogation that’s never properly explained. This setup feels so unnecessary, and it’s actually jarring every time we cut back to Mulch growling his exposition at the camera.

The Characters & Actors

I cannot think of one character that has not been butchered by the writing, the acting, or both. All of them are terrible. And across the board, the acting isn’t terribly good.

Artemis Fowl

The titular character gets it the worst of everyone. In the book, he’s a criminal mastermind. He’s cold, calculating, and eerie. He behaves so much like an adult that it unsettles people. He isn’t at all interested in typical child things, instead focusing on his own lofty goals. He’s an utter genius, learning the existence of fairies all on his own and coming up with the plan to capture one himself. Though he’s sympathetic in his own way, he’s also not presented as a terribly good person. As a protagonist, he’s almost unlikable -- it’s not until later books that he learns to have friends and become a better person.

But in the movie, Artemis is about as generic a fantasy film protagonist as you can get. He’s a more or less happy child who adores his father. He likes surfing and skateboarding. He doesn’t learn about fairies on his own -- his father tells him about them. And while he’s shown to be intelligent, it’s nowhere near the genius level he should be at. He’s so watered down and uninteresting that he’s unrecognizable as the same character. Even accepting that this isn’t the book character, he’s just boring to watch. There’s nothing interesting or compelling about this random kid. Ferdia Shaw’s performance doesn’t help -- while I’ve certainly seen worse child actors, I’ve also seen far, far better.

It’s worth mentioning that some of the best moments in the books are when something rattles Artemis so badly that the walls come down and he acts like a scared little kid. These moments work because they’re rare. This movie tosses them at you left and right. I don’t know who this kid is, but it ain’t Artemis Fowl.

Holly Short

In the books, Holly is an adult woman working an adult job -- she’s a police officer. She’s also described as having medium dark skin, with the phrases “olive” and “nut brown” being used most often. So the decision to cast a fourteen year old white actress... it boggles the mind. In fairness, Lara McDonnell did a decently good job in the role. But there wasn’t much role to do a good job with. Holly is a very bland character, with all of her drive and fire from the book simply gone. There’s also a backstory tossed in about her father, Beechwood Short, which is implemented in the strangest way and only comes up when it’s strictly relevant.

Domovoi Butler

Oh, Butler. Artemis’s bodyguard slash best friend slash pseudo father figure. A tremendously important character in the books who is barely in the movie at all. His role is so cut down that it’s absurd. I guess Nonso Anonzie was doing a fine job, but he was hardly there enough for me to tell. All indication that this man is a tremendously important figure in Artemis’s life is simply gone.

Edited to add: I didn’t initially think of anything wrong with Butler being a black man for the movie, but after seeing some complaints from others... yeah I think making a character from a family that’s been servants to a rich white family for generations now into a black man is uhhhhhhhhhh. It’s questionable.

Juliet Butler

Butler’s niece, Juliet, is in the movie so little that I kept forgetting she was there. Which is a damn shame, because I actually really liked Tamara Smart from The Worst Witch already and thought she was an excellent choice for Juliet. In the book, Juliet is the only other child around, and about the only kid that Artemis will remotely consider an equal. She’s great to balance him out and keep him more grounded. In the movie? Eh. She has a handful of lines.

Mulch Diggums

As far as being accurate to the book, Mulch is probably the closest. Though the decision to make a dwarf character not actually short boggles the mind... my main complaint is that Josh Gad likes to improvise his way through scenes, and his style of comedy is pretty grating. It gets old, fast. Throw in the fact that he’s also growling all of his lines to sound different, and you have a character that’s nearly unwatchable.

Julius Root

Speaking of growling all your lines! Commander Root is played by Dame Judi Dench in this movie, changing the character’s gender. I really don’t mind that, and the characterization is largely unchanged. What I do mind is Dench’s delivery. All of her lines are growled in such a low rumble that it sounds like she’s been smoking for eighty years. It becomes impossible to take anything she says or does seriously when she’s speaking like that. Josh Gad even pokes fun at it in a scene with the two of them, saying that they sound like “hippos with a throat infection” -- the only line to get a chuckle out of me.

Artemis Fowl, Sr.

To round it off, we have Colin Farrell as Artemis’s father. And... he’s here, I guess. Farrell mostly sounds bored in all of his scenes and it’s incredibly easy to forget about him.

Angeline Fowl

But wait! A fan of the book may ask. What about Artemis’s mother? How did the movie do her? Surely they didn’t forget Artemis’s mother! And my friends, I regret to inform you that the movie did, in fact, forget Artemis’s mother. She isn’t present, nor is she even mentioned. A major part of the books, a major force to drive Artemis’s character, just... gone. Lovely.

The Production Design

The best word I can think of is uninspired. Most things are serviceable, but unimpressive, leading to the film looking very generic. I was especially disappointed with the look of the fairy underground. A combination of magic and technology has a lot of potential to look visually interesting. Instead, the fairy police just look like the E.L.F.S. from The Santa Clause. And once you’ve seen it, you’ll never unsee it. So you’re welcome.

Additionally, the action scenes tend to be poorly shot and edited. Everything is extremely fast paced with a freely floating camera -- this makes things nearly impossible to follow. Several times I said out loud “what just happened?” because I legitimately could not tell where things were in relation to each other, and who was attacking, who was being attacked, etc. Thankfully there aren’t a lot of action scenes, but the few that do exist are pretty bad.

There are also several sequences of Mulch unhinging his jaw to burrow through the ground. In the book, it’s mildly amusing, but it doesn’t at all translate to film. It’s horrifying in every sense. The CG looks rubbery and fake, and Josh Gad’s performance doesn’t at all sell it. If there were any change from the books I would actually welcome, it’s this one. There are plenty of other ways he could dig. But nope. They stuck to that one. For some reason.

In Conclusion

This is easily the worst book to film adaptation I have ever seen. Please don’t watch it unless you’re a fan of the book and want a laugh.

[nicholassabalos]

For Freedom and Democracy....

          ....the USS Theodore Roosevelt (CVN 71) Carrier Strike Group....

                    ....on the way to the other side of the world....

PACIFIC OCEAN (January 25, 2020) -- A formidable United States Navy force of warships heads across the ocean at the beginning of a scheduled lengthy overseas deployment....

....not to make war....

....but, rather, to promote and defend freedom and democracy.

                                         *          *          *          *

(Those may sound like lofty words and grandiose ideals, but they really do speak to truth.

During the five 7- to 8-month deployments I made overseas with carrier strike groups -- called carrier battle groups in my day during the 1970s, 80s and 90s -- we never had the attitude of “going to war” or war-like designs. 

We did our jobs; careers for many of us.

(And I sincerely believe those basic priorities and attitudes remain essentially the same to this day.)

We were focused on (besides thoughts of back home) running our ship, and our professional readiness and training, of course....but we also had a primary mission of showing the American flag overseas....promoting diplomacy and common goals among our military allies....providing generous and enthusiastic humanitarian support wherever needed....doing our level best to be good overseas ambassadors for our country....

....and, in the end, simply:

....sailing for Freedom and Democracy.

It was an awesome mission....especially from the perspective, now, of semi-retirement!

I was, and will always be, so proud to have had the opportunity to be a part of it all!)

                                         *          *          *          *

The USS Theodore Roosevelt (CVN 71) and her accompanying strike group of one guided-missile cruiser and five guided-missile destroyers left San Diego, CA on January 17, 2020....on what will likely be a seven-month deployment to the Western Pacific and Indian Oceans. They should be back home sometime late-Summer or early-Fall 2020.

In the photos above -- taken from several perspectives -- the carrier and her six escorts are practicing maneuvering drills....steaming in set formations....conducting communications and code drills....and, finally, posing for a series of group photos to commemorate -- and advertise, to some extent -- their presence and their mission.

                                         *          *          *          *

The USS Theodore Roosevelt (CVN 71) Carrier Strike Group pictured above -- from both the air and from several of the ships in the formation -- consists of:

>>Nimitz-class nuclear-powered aircraft carrier USS Theodore Roosevelt (CVN 71)

>>Ticonderoga-class guided-missile cruiser USS Bunker Hill (CG 52)

>>Arleigh Burke-class guided-missile destroyers USS Russell (DDG 59), USS Paul Hamilton (DDG 60), USS Pinckney (DDG 91), USS Kidd (DDG 100) and USS Rafael Peralta (DDG 115)

>>Carrier Air Wing (CVW) 11 is embarked onboard the nuclear-powered aircraft carrier....with its dozens of strike, fighter, attack, surveillance and logistics aircraft.

>>Roughly 8,000 American men and women; average age: 24.

                                        ____________________

>>CLICK the photos for some striking close-ups of the different formations....

>>In the bottom photo two of the destroyers can be seen with their traditional battle flags (huge American flags) now unfurled....in a symbol of unity, cohesion and esprit de corps at the end of an exhilarating series of naval exercises in the middle of the ocean.

>>Photos: #1 - Mass Communication Specialist 2nd Class Anthony Rivera, USN; #2 - Mass Communication Specialist Seaman Dylan Lavin, USN;  #3 - Mass Communication Specialist Seaman Kaylianna Genie, USN; #4, #5, #6 & #8 - Mass Communication Specialist 3rd Class Erick A. Parsons, USN; #7 - Mass Communication Specialist 3rd Class Sean Lynch, USN

[shhtickerbook]

Do you have any headcanons of how Lofty would deal with a fussy/crying Wonka who is simply too little and overwhelmed? 🥺

MMMMMYESSS some more CG lofty hcs

check under the cut for em my friend!

• At first Lofty would be very alarmed and a bit at a loss on what to do, he’s not very good when it comes to high emotions. But he tries his best to be comforting, even if it comes off as a little awkward. Often hunting down one of Wonkas comfort items and plushes, waving it in his face in a desperate attempt to get him to stop.

• He is a very no nonsense / serious CG, but not in a cruel away. So even when Willy is overwhelmed and weepy, he’s very matter of fact as he consoles him.

“Now there’s no need for that silly nonsense, really nothing to get so upset about”

He’s not trying to invalidate his feelings, it’s just his way. And it does in-fact work with Willy, he finds it comforting.

• Lofty isn’t a fan of that physical affection, but if Wonka is feeling little and in need of it. He’ll allow him to hold onto his small hand. (As long as he’s gentle and doesn’t break his hand)

• Lofty will try set an example of breathing exercises for Willy to copy, big deep belly breaths! After all, hyperventilating is just going to make you feel even worse, such silly logic

• It isn’t often that Willy lashes out, but it’s usually when he’s little, overwhelmed and feels safe to do so. Lofty will remain cool and calm throughout and allow Wonka get any emotions he needed out of his system. But will try and corral him to somewhere where any precious items aren’t in harms way. When at last Willy’s exhausted himself, he’ll gently approach with a:

“Are we finished with the tantrum? I wouldn’t mind getting some peace and quiet this evening. How about you try and calm down, and there may be another story from Loompa Land for you if you’re good”

That usually works quickly, Willy loves hearing tales of Loftys homeland. Even if Lofty can be a bit of an unreliable narrator at times.

• Lofty decided to teach Willy Loompa Lands hand signals and sign language. So if he’s feeling non verbal, Willy would use simple gestures and signs to communicate. Loompa sign is used almost as much as verbal communication back on his homeland so Lofty was more than willing to teach it.

-

I gotta write a proper cg lofty fic now

[mothermaidenclone-blog]

Ad Astra or This Movie Was the Brad Pitts

Ad Astra was the worst movie I have paid to see since 2015’s Kill Your Friends, which is my least favourite cinema experience of all time. It was a dry and dreary story about emotionally stunted white men in a bleak and boring capitalist version of space, with jarring and superfluous Christian undertones. The plot and everyone’s motives were so non-existent that Brad Pitt had to narrate the whole thing in a monotone so flat and dead I literally screamed all the way from the cinema to the bus stop when it was over, partly out of a frustration so deep it was non-verbal, but also just to finally hear some pitch variation.

*Ad Astra spoilers follow*

There technically were women in this movie. Lots of women, particularly women of colour, occupied high ranking positions and were addressed by their titles, a touch I think is important and that usually tips the scales in favour of a good review for me. We were graced with Adjutant General Vogel (LisaGay Hamilton), Captain Lu (Freda Foh Shen), Sergeant Romano (Kimmy Shields), Tanya Pincus (Natasha Lyonne) and Lorraine Deavers (Kimberly Elise), as well as several unnamed female personnel (Kayla Adams, Elisa Perry, Sasha Compère and Mallory Low). I would like to particularly highlight Natasha Lyonne’s performance as apparently she was the only actor employed to play a human being and not a replicant. She was on screen for maybe twenty seconds, as is sadly the case with most of these women, but was a glorious breath of fresh air as the only character to simultaneously emote expressively and speak with inflection and enthusiasm. The only one! In a two hour movie!

All of these women appear to be respected and capable members of various illustrious teams, but are always outnumbered by men. There are two male generals alongside Vogel and Deavers is initially outnumbered 4:1 on her space craft by men. Tragically, whenever a team is being picked off, it is always the people of colour who die first. Not only is this obviously racist, it is just a disgusting cliché that we just don’t need to see anymore in movies. Deavers dies first when Roy (Brad Pitt) forcibly invades their vehicle, followed by Franklin Yoshida (Bobby Nish), an Asian man, and Donald Stanford (Loren Dean), a white guy, is the last to go. Roy cradles him in his arms and attempts to save his life. I hope it’s not just me that sees something wrong with the order of events there.

A similar scenario takes place in the lunar chase, which absurdly seems to occur in the same crapy looking buggies as the original moon landing, a confusing visual choice considering we’ve just seen a vast and impressive modern concrete moon base. The film takes the time to introduce us to Willie Levant (Sean Blakemore), a black officer who will be escorting Ray across the moon. As soon as we see he has a photo of his wife and child taped to his tablet screen I knew he was going to die - in the year 2019 I should not be able to predict that a black character is going to die because we saw a family photo. Can we just not anymore? Again, aside from the racism, that’s just shitty writing. I like to think that as a species, if we can conceptualise something as vast and seemingly impossible as solar travel, we can also move beyond basic and derogatory cinematic tropes.

I was most excited by the appearance of Helen Lantos (Ruth Negga), a woman of colour who occupies a position of power on Mars and introduces herself assertively using her full name. Also, her whole look was excellent. However, this brief release of serotonin was very short lived as she literally walks Roy down a corridor then is immediately cut off and superseded by a white guy with a man bun. Lantos does return later, but alas, as an exposition machine to give Roy some plot news about his dad. Even as she explains that her parents were murdered by his, Lantos falls victim to the dire, emotionless monotone that I can only assume was forced on the entire cast of this film. Then, she is an actual chauffeur and drives Ray to a manhole so he can continue his dad quest. A character brimming with original potential is presented as nothing more than a device.

The final woman to mention is the first one we see, Roy’s ex-wife Eve (Liv Tyler). We see the blurry, out of focus back of her head in the background of a shot before we see her face, and this is incredibly telling, because that’s all Eve is, the simulacrum of a woman. She could be anybody - so why she is Liv Tyler defies belief, I can only assume they held her loved ones hostage - her story is untold and entirely irrelevant. Again, she is only a device, although this time not for Roy’s forward momentum, but this time seemingly to emphasise that Roy is a total sociopath with no emotions whatsoever. We don’t learn Eve’s name for another twenty minutes, and it is an hour and twenty minutes before we hear her speak. Even then, it’s not a live conversation, because god forbid this film have too many of those, but a voice recording explaining that their relationship is over. I’m not going to lie, I’m pretty sure that’s what it was, but everything she said was so generic I have no memory of it whatsoever. She is presented as a ghost, a blurry image on a screen, a memory fixed in time, not a real person with agency and personality. At the end of the movie we finally see her in real time, and that is when she has made the unfathomable decision to meet Roy for coffee. Even her face in that moment gives no emotion away, perhaps because Tyler had no idea how to act this entirely nonsensical decision. To our knowledge, she would not have seen any change in Roy, only received news that he survived a dangerous space mission, which is apparently enough of a reason to get back with this emotionless egg of a man?

I almost didn’t want to devote words to them, but I think it’s important to address just how dire Roy and his dad H. Clifford McBride (Tommy Lee Jones) are. This is their film, they are the reason that all of these women’s stories are passed over. It is made clear over and over again that both Roy and Clifford believe they are the only people capable of completing their various missions. Roy hijacks a ship and inadvertently kills everyone on board because he thinks that it’s his destiny or whatever to get his dad back, never mind that they were all highly trained space personnel who were arguably better suited to the mission precisely because it wasn’t their dad. Clifford straight up murders his whole crew because they are too “small minded” to fly off further and further into space forever on a mission that has yet yielded absolutely no evidence of their goals. A variety of talented human beings are destroyed because of the entitlement of white men, their delusional and unshakable conviction that they are at the centre of the universe and that no one else could possibly accomplish the lofty goals that kismet apparently calls them to.

The way they speak about themselves and to each other is absolutely psychotic. Roy’s solo musings include, “The flight recorder will tell the story, but history will have to decide,” and “In the end, the son suffers the sins of the father.” Clifford imparts his son with the delightful greeting of, “There was never anything there for me, I never cared for you or your mother or your small ideas.” In addition, they both physically flinch from human contact at various points in the move. Now, I totally understand that we live in a neurodiverse world and that many people experience emotions and social interactions in any number of ways, and that is a beautiful thing that makes our world so interesting to live in. However, that these men both abjectly state that they have no empathy is presented within the context of their megalomaniacal ideals that they must accomplish their god-given quests irregardless of how many people they have to kill along the way. It is a facet of their strangely two-dimensional, arrogant and narcissistic personalities, not one part of many complex features that make a complete and relatable human being.

Roy has to literally say out loud that he is a human being at the end of the movie; “I will rely on those closest to me…I will live and love,” which makes him sound more like a learning AI trying to pass a Turing test than anything else. The music swells as Clifford throws himself towards the surface of Neptune in an orchestral deluge that is unsubtly significant in this very quiet film, as though I’m supposed to start crying and think anything other than, “well thank fuck, it’s about time this murderer dies in the cold vacuum of space, I hope Roy stays spinning and screaming here forever too.” We are supposed to feel sympathy for them as the heroes of this movie, despite the fact that they show no care for anyone else throughout the whole thing and act entirely in their own self interests.

Overall, the women in this film are given about five seconds of potential as they introduce themselves variously as decorated soldiers and otherwise capable personnel, before being shoved to the side, or murdered, for Roy. This is obviously objectionable, but is made so much worse by the fact that Roy is an emotionless, entitled, empathy-less white man who doesn’t care if other people have to die for him to get what he wants. That is what these women are being passed up in favour of. I felt like I was watching a two hour long Voight-Kampff test. Space movies like this should be about what we can achieve if we work together as a species, not about how white men will still be the kings of dreary capitalism, even on the moon. We can do better than this.

And now for some asides:

What the actual fuck was the font at the beginning? I guess a red serif all caps should have alerted me to the fact that I was about to watch a horror movie.

As a lover of space horror, I was absolutely gutted that it was a bad CG angry baboon and not a cool gross alien. Also, what was that scene? “Hmm, we need to get rid of this loser because Brad Pitt is the best at space ships and he needs to be the captain. Uhh…what about…space monkeys? Yeah! Space monkeys on a deserted Norwegian ship. That makes sense.”

Can I just have a film bout those moon pirates fighting space capitalism please? I was more invested in them that anyone else in this garbage movie.

Credit for the Bradd Pitts joke goes to the talented and lovely Ed Cheverton

[gascon-en-exil]

FE16 Blue Lions Liveblogging

Chapters 17-18. Lots of heavy plot content here.

The further along I get in the war phase the more superfluous the monastery content and calendar system becomes. I haven’t gotten any new paralogues since Annette and Gilbert’s, because I believe you only get ones for characters you’ve recruited and I’ve exhausted all of those. I’ve read that Dimitri may have one toward the end, and Mercedes shares hers with Caspar of all people so that’ll have to wait for a playthrough when I do inter-house recruiting, but apart from that everyone in my army has had one. There’s little to do at the monastery but grind professor rank and Renown, mostly for supports and a last few skill ranks. What little there is in the way of quests is just Gilbert asking for resource contributions. It’s like the endgame WoW of years past, only without even the option to do group content (not that I would, but regardless).

The enemy AI for the school phase’s Battle of the Eagle and Lion allowed it to feel like a genuine struggle between three opposing armies, but round 2 in the war phase sacrificed narrative for the sake of difficulty. The Alliance forces charged my position after a few turns and didn’t go for the Empire at all, leaving me to play more defensively to neutralize their flying archer lord (...I really hope Claude spontaneously getting a wyvern gets some kind of explanation in the Deer route, something more than “because Almyran, just go with it”). Dedue once against punched Edelgard into submission because he’s distinctly good at that - really goes along with the hunting her down and killing her bit in another route, which TVTropes is now claiming can still happen if you choose to spare her. Huh.

Student kills: Ferdinand and Bernadetta from the Eagles, Lorenz, Raphael, Ignatz, Leonie, and Lysithea from the Deer, with the others either retreating or still unseen in the war phase. Petra was the only one who really surprised me by retreating instead of dying.

Starting in Chapter 18 Dimitri can be interacted with again like a normal unit. While I have issues with some of the presentation behind his change of heart (see below), it’s good to have him working on supports and building his skill ranks during training sessions again. Not that he really needs the latter; his stats are massive and both his sword and lance ranks are nearly maxed out.

The story map for Chapter 18 introduces magic/technology hybrids that act like either monsters or siege towers, on top of having at least one enemy caster with a traditional siege spell. Adding a lever far into the map to shut down the lightning towers was a nice touch.

Most of the master classes have been a pain to grind toward, as only a few units have what it takes to be true hybrids. Sylvain is evidently one of them, but sending Mercedes through cavalier to work on her riding for holy knight made her borderline useless. At least some of the advanced classes are good enough to where they could feasibly work for endgame (but I do still want a holy knight, so Mercedes will continue poking things for a while).

Story/Character observations

I’ve been getting all kinds of A supports. Dimitri/Dedue and Felix/Sylvain are as gay as advertised. Catherine/Ashe is one of those rare plot-heavy support lines, where we find out more about Lonato and Ashe’s own drive for revenge. Byleth/Gilbert is not even slightly romantic even late into their A support, which makes me wonder why he’s an S rank option for either gender when it’s more about pushing him to go home to his wife. Ditto Gilbert’s supports with Annette. Ashe/Annette gets kind of cute in the end, but Felix/Annette involves entirely too many of her comically bad songs to be endearing. Manuela cuts out the cougar routine when she spies on Sylvain being an asshole. Catherine thought young Dimitri was a maiden based on his haircut (as seen in the CG of him dancing with Edelgard - this guy is forever doomed to multiple varieties of bad hair) and repeats Felix’s taunt that Dimitri used to get so excited while training that he’d break swords in half but he’s better with lances even though they have less durability? I forget with whom, but Dimitri shuts down the impossible dream of fellow lance lord Ephraim by acknowledging that his traveling the world as a warrior would be irresponsible. The gender of Shamir’s first love might depend on Byleth’s - will have to see how the f!Byleth support words it. 

As for the story, this is the moment where Dimitri makes his turn back toward sanity and a sense of personal responsibility. Just as I predicted, his decision to allow that unnamed orphan girl to join the army turns out to have been a bad one. After Rodrigue takes a blade for his prince and Byleth shows himself again adept at swift executions, Dimitri is moved by the death of yet another of his loved ones to go walking in the rain and respond favorably to vaguely inspirational dialogue choices. While I understand what the writers were going for, I have two issues with this sequence of events. The first is minor, in that the CGs used for them - of Fleche preparing to stab Dimitri and Rodrigue stepping between them, of the dying Rodrigue cradling Dimitri’s face, and of Dimitri in the rain - don’t do a very good job of matching the intended mood. The first two use sunset lighting and thus appear much too soft, while Dimitri in the rain with his hair plastered to his head alone against a black background looks unsettling and almost creepy for what’s meant to be his big moment of redemption. That’s a small quibble with artistic choice, however.

On the other hand, my other issue will take a whole post to explain. I’ll be saving that for a larger Dimitri/Dedue project after I’ve completed playthroughs of all the routes routes, but my basic argument is this: Dedue being removed and then optionally re-inserted into the Blue Lions storyline was necessary for Dimitri’s emotional arc to make sense, and to allow Byleth a much larger role in said arc than they otherwise would have had. Yes, I have major shipping goggles on here, but try to imagine a scenario where Dedue saves Dimitri from prison and they go on the run together for five years, before reuniting with everyone at the monastery.

To no one’s surprise, Dedue takes up watching after the prince in the monastery the chapter after he returns. In Chapter 18 he comments that he’s the only that Dimitri hasn’t really changed despite appearing more sane, that he’s still too kind and sensitive to the suffering of war and that Dedue admires him for that. They’re just laying the subtext on thick now.

Related to my problem with the Alliance AI in the threeway battle, it’s never explained why Claude joins the battle at Gronder Field (apart from getting him into that cutscene they all share, anwyay). Prior to that battle House Reigan opposed the Empire and even engaged House Gloucester’s pro-Imperial faction to distract them from Chapter 16′s bridge.  As the next chapter’s title references the Deer however I imagine I’ll get an explanation sooner rather than later.

Cornelia’s cleavage may be impossible, but as far as under-dressed female villains in this series go she wasn’t terrible. She doesn’t flirt with anyone and apparently got her lofty position in the Kingdom through her talents at magic and infrastructure reform (which may have included the turrets and giant robots in Fhirdiad? Was that the implication?). Her dying revelation about Dimitri’s stepmother would have landed better had we ever seen anything of her, but I suppose as Edelgard’s birth mother she’ll be brought up again in some capacity on her route.

[kendrixtermina]

Just as she was more a go-with-the-flow person than a planner, I think that Pink/Rose was not actually so much secretive as she was very very guarded.

Likeshe wasn’t giving this some huge political consideration like “If I let Bismuth go there may be a split in the rebellion” or “It would look better if the leader of the rebellion wasn’t a Diamond” or “They don’t want/need to know”- instead im fairly certain that she had more personal, immediate motivations here, like “What if they hate me?” both because they had valid reasons to hate the Diamonds in general, and because of her less than ideal upbringing where no one tried to understand her or told her it was okay to make mistakes or be herself.

Like rather than having some big thought out plan or being secretly callous/evil, she was just afraid and not comfortable sharing certain kin of feelings?

One of her main shortcomings was always that though she always wanted to help and generally admired her friends,  she wasn’t this good at picking up what people around her were feeling if they didn’t outright tell her

- She didn’t realize the other Diamonds still cared about her or that her underlings may want to avenge her, she might not have realized how much baggage the other CGs were still carrying, she didn’t pick up that Pearl wasn’t cool with her human boyfriends but might not have felt like she could tell her, or when Greg was genuinely worried whether she’s serious about their relationship - and maybe back when the ep first aired there could have been real ambiguity wether she initially looked down at him or not, but by now we can say that the relationship was 100% based on like-mindedness and fellow Hippie-Disaster-Goofball-Ness and that it was really pure, unadulterated communication fail.

Personally, I was always miffed when ppl interpreted that as meaning that she didn’t care or must be secrewtly wevil because I know that social obliviouslness can just be an inborn thing that trips you up even when you are aware of it and make an effort to counteract it.

But recently the thought has occurred to me that there might be a bit more to that than just natural obliviousness or just never learning a skill that no one on homeworld values.

I mean, Pink was hardly a reclusive introverted nerd. She was charismatic, charming and universally beloved (both as PD and as “Rose Quartz”), and she certainly valued empathy and communication. There’s no reason why she couldn’t or wouldn’t learn that skill to an extent.

But one of the main ways you get people to open up is to tell a story about yourself. You disarm ppl and make them feel welcome and safe by showing your own vulnerability, that they don’t have to be afraid of you because you’re not perfect either and you don’t bite. You dispell their doubts by empathizing with them and admitting your own limits -

And Pink felt she couldn’t do that, or feel safe doing that.

I think that everyone kind of projected onto her because she was unreadable to an extent - Garnet thinks she was a planner/big picture because she is one, Steven assumes she acted mostly out of lofty pacifistic idealism because he’s like that - I don’t think her reaction to Bismuth’s plan was ALL just covering her ass, Bismuth herself says she talked about it being “not right”, but on the other hand she very clearly panicked because she felt backed into a corner, more than she made the decision based on abstract ideals or with a long term scheme in mind.

That’s the great tragedy of this character - She wanted nothing more than to have friends, have fun and appreciate the world, but there was always a barrier between herself and others because she was convinced that her friends - the friends who inspired her, the friends she so desperately wanted all along - would reject her completely if they knew who she really was. I mean Pearl kinda knew but she also idealized her more than anyone, so it’s not really that different.

She was so loved by so many people but she may well have been convinced that no one (except maybe Greg) needs or wants the real her

[ggdeku]

Iron Blooded Orphans broke my heart [SPOILERS]

I finished all of Mobile Suit Gundam: Iron Blooded Orphans last night, but the show I once loved made me feel hollow and unsatisfied.

I quickly fell in love with IBO and that feeling persisted through the whole first season. The journey of Tekkadan from Mars to Earth, and that amazing conclusion in Edmonton had marked it solidly as one of my all time favorite Gundam series ever. The strength of IBO to me was it's characters and world building. I was invested in the group of kids taking control of the private military company CGS to help fight for the betterment of their lives while forging deep family bonds. While most of the members of Tekkadan didn't get all that much screen time, I really enjoyed the personalities of the primary characters. Mikazuki and Orga's longtime, co-dependent relationship was really compelling, you could really feel the longtime emotional bonds between them. Kudelia's lofty goal of independence for Mars, combined with Tekkadan's underdog nature made it a group I was really engaged with and emotionally invested in. The antagonists weren't the most compelling, but the dynamic between McGillis, Gaelio, and Carta gave the opposing side some more depth beyond their immediate goals. You got a good sense of what each of those three Gjallarhorn officers were like as people. I also really enjoyed the political struggle of the series, the fight for independence from Earth is a common theme of Gundam, but I thought it was portrayed well here.

I deeply loved this show throughout all of the first season, but the direction taken in season 2 slowly beat me down until I could no longer pretend I was enjoying it. The last four episodes really kicked the wind out of my sails and felt cheap. IBO season 1 had one focused plotline that made sense and felt cohesive all the way through. Season 2 is a bunch of loosely connected mini-arcs with no clear focus, vision, or message. The way character death is handled in this season is one of main reason why I'm upset. It's not just because almost all of the primary characters are killed off, it's the way in which it occurs and the way the epilogue plays out. It doesn't lead to, or accomplish, anything. The ending feels stolen from the characters in a really sick way. 

Biscuit's death in the first season had a ton of build up, and we really got to know him as a person and learn about him through his relationships to Orga and the crew. His death informed the decisions and actions of Tekkadan in a meaningful way. In season 2, it felt like the writers just wanted to kill everyone to seem sad or intense, but it doesn't work. By the time Mikazuki and Akihiro are killed in the final episode, I was numb to impact of their death. I didn't feel sad because of their circumstance, I felt sad that the writers drew out this whole series of characters deaths to the point where it felt formulaic and predictable. The deaths of Naze,  Amida, and Lafter was unnecessary but drove the plot forward by having Tekkadan take revenge of Jasley Donomikols, which ultimately led to nothing.

Shino, Orga, McGillis, Hush, Akihiro, Mika. They all die losing. Tekkadan utterly loses, but is able to protect the lives of the rest of their crew.  If through their sacrifice they were able to create the positive future for their friends, that would be one thing. But they don't and Gjallarhorn wins. Julieta holds the Gundam Barbatos' head on her sword triumphantly, and Rustal Elion maintains his power and influence through successful corruption, controlling the media message on the truth of Tekkadan and McGillis.

The loss and following epilogue really made me angry as I watched. For some reason, despite being shown to be a corrupt leader who crushes everything in his path, Rustal Elion decides to dismantle the Seven Stars system of leadership in Gjallarhorn and reform it as a democratic organization (he, of course, is elected to be it's first leader). Rustal lets Kudelia becomes the chairperson of the newly independent Mars Union and works with her to abolish Human Debris (slave) trafficking. The antagonist won and through his power let the rest of Tekkadan live, all knowing that he unnecessarily killed their friends and tarnished their names as a scapegoat to punish McGillis. The only reason they still live is because of Rustal and they just have to accept it. It's embarrassing and degrading. Yet, everyone seems fine with that (with the obvious exception of Ride).

Watching the epilogue made me to realize that much of the character work throughout the series really didn't make much sense. Rustal Elion specifically. As the main antagonist of the series, we know nothing about him or his ideals. We only see him act as a mustache twirling villain throughout the whole series, but for some reason he ends up enacting McGillis' idea of reforming Gjallarhorn. We have no reason as to why he has done this. It feels really unearned and like a desperate attempt to make a comment about there not being a difference between good and evil, just different pathways for change. This explanation feels extra hollow because the whole show absolutely depicted the different factions as good and evil.

Julieta and Gaelio's ending was ridiculous as well. These two awful characters get a "Let's go eat meat! Anime! lol XD" ending after a whole season of being half-baked uninteresting grunts. Julieta in particular has no character at all. "I need to get stronger" to the ultimate cliche degree. She is a consistently annoying presence that has almost no connections to other characters and offers nothing meaningful to the story through the entire season. While Gaelio wants his revenge against McGillis, their confrontation ends in a rather anticlimactic showdown. Iok Kujan is a ridiculous cartoon clown that only exists to ruin everything. His presence actively made the show worse at every turn.

McGillis' mysterious intentions were interesting in season 1 but once he started to realize his plans, and they started to blow up in his face immediately, he showed no signs of recognizing his failure and this rapid loss of control. McGillis was a frustrating idiot to watch every time he was on screen, an incompetent Char clone. We never really knew what his plan to reform Gjallarhorn was all about outside of removing the corruption from within. But as soon as he got his hands on Gundam Bael, he demanded that the entire organization follow his every order like a dictator. He didn't use his platform to expose corruption, he used it to gain power and forgot everything that led him to that point. He had no plan to counter Rustal, who was obviously going to oppose him. The show wants to portray him has some sort of scheming puppet master, but the writing consistently fails to demonstrate this in any way. Why is Bael some sort of icon of leadership? Why does McGillis think that as soon in as he pilots it everyone will obey him somehow? 

With such a large focus on the Gjallarhorn side of things this season you would think we would get some sort of new insight as to the ideology or internal conflicts of the organization, but that doesn't happen.  Everything presented is so shallow. Also the entire character of Almiria goes absolutely nowhere. 

Tekkadan also saw some new recruits join the team this season, but they remain underdeveloped hangers-on in most cases. Hush, the most prominent of the new recruits, gets almost nothing to do and his relationship to Mika is not well developed at all. His death felt like it should have had a strong emotional impact, but because he was so underdeveloped I felt nothing. He didn't have that much interaction with the other characters this season, spending most of his screen time as Mika's assistant. He says he wants to learn from Mika, but we almost never see the two of them talk. We never get a chance to care for him or understand what he adds to the group dynamic. 

The treatment of Atra and Kudelia was awful. In season 2, they are given nothing to do aside from fawn over Mika. Because it's not anime unless every woman in the show is somehow in love with our antisocial, quiet protagonist boy. Atra and Kudelia are most often seen talking to each other, and it is always about Mika. They only ever talk about him and about loving him. This does a real disservice to the characters who had so much potential. As the Founder/President of the Admoss company Kudelia could have been playing politics to help Tekkadan through the entire season. Atra could have actually helped out with the Tekkadan crew in person and had her own independent goals. Kudelia’s love for Mika was not convincing at all to me. Atra has the benefit of knowing him for most of her life and their relationship goes back the longest outside of Mika and Orga. Their romance wasn’t too out of place. But I don’t think IBO ever made a convincing case for Kudelia’s love for Mikazuki outside of his role as the “main character.” I think Mika and Atra having a baby and Kudelia becoming the step-mom after Mika’s death is a cool idea on paper, but it’s execution in the show was brutal to watch.

Season 2 felt like the writers did not know where to take the story so they threw everything they had on the page. It resulted in a muddled mess of themes and story lines with not enough time to give any characters their due. None of the deaths made much of an impact on the main crew at all. Everyone got over each death extremely quickly. You get one scene of brooding then you move on.

There is a part of me that's just angry about seeing characters I liked die, but it only serves to back up my opinion that death is often a lame way to create drama. The removal of a character is not interesting. You are eliminating a person from your story that (hopefully) had relationships, motivations, goals, and hopes. The interactions between your characters is what gives depth to your story and shows how they each grow individually and as a group. Removing all the characters removes possibility. You can show pain and suffering in other ways. Killing off almost every single one of the primary characters was a boring move.

And it makes me sad.

[wizardessheart-sideb]

The latest episode of the podcast is out! Although all the eps have built-in subtitles, I’ll now be sharing the videos with a transcription under the cut in case people live in areas where internet providers are pieces of shit.

HELLO Hello everyone, welcome to Royal Magic Academy Radio, a podcast about Wizardess Heart. I’m your host, Mari. It’s our 10th episode YAY!!!! Our next big milestone!!! It seems fitting we’re having a milestone when we’ve got a lot of cool stuff to discuss, so let’s get on with the show!

GAMING NEWS We got two new events this week. I was RIGHT, the next guy for the stories re-release event was Yukiya. The event’s called YukiyAmore and it’s a romance point slot. The stories being re-released are The Love Holiday, Flirting Time with Him, Flirting Time with Him and After, Heart-Pounding Moment in Bed, His Sweet n' Spicy Special Lesson, His Devilishly Sugary Kiss, and "Our Hands Stuck!" It’s running until June 8. The login bonus event, Detective Rex, also started. It’s going on until July 25 and the final prize is a CG so yay! That’s exciting. We also got a very interesting birthday event. Instead of a spin-off, we have a Randy-themed collection event! It’s called The Greatest Surprise -Randy’s Birthday- and I think it’s pretty cute! In addition to stories, we’re also getting CGs, one you can get with stars and the other is a ranking prize. But anyway, it’s going on until June 16, just as a heads up. 

SPECULATION So, we’re definitely going to be getting the CG part of YukiyAmore fairly soon. And if we’re still going in order of sequels, after YukiyAmore, we should be getting Vincent. However, I’m not really sure if we will. Vincent’s fallen from the most popular list and with the Happy Party Trainwreck his sequel was, I don’t know if Solmare’s gonna let him have a re-release event so soon. I mean, I def think he’ll get one, but considering he’s not as loved as he used to be, I dunno if he’ll be next, even though if we’re going by sequel line-up, he should be. Also while we’re on the subject of the re-releases, since the story line-up is the same for Yukiya and Klaus, I’m going to guess we aren’t going to get reruns of The Love Holiday, Flirting Time With Him, Heart-Pounding Moment in Bed, His Sweet n’ Spicy Special Lesson, His Devilishly Sugary Kiss, or “Our Hands Stuck!” because we’re getting the content through the rerelease events.Then, of course, Rex’s login bonus is a pretty strong hint that his route will be next. And now we have the biggest speculative piece of them all: Randy’s birthday event. Amelia’s birthday event back in late October was a collection event, but I have to say, I don’t think any of us were expecting a love option to get one of these. To be honest, I’m wondering if this is more or less a test from Solmare to gauge how we’d feel about birthday collection events for other dudes. Randy’s the fandom darling and if we approve of this kind of birthday event for a favorite, then it more or less indicates we’d be down for this for other dudes. Or maybe even multiple. After all, Ninja Shadow does their birthday events where multiple dudes are featured. Maybe we’ll get that for Wizardess. However, this event has stirred up the fandom a bit. 

WIZCOURSE You can’t have a Randy event without having wizcourse. I honest to God wish I were exaggerating, but it seems like every single time something with Randy happens, the fandom explodes. It happened with Bubbly Candy Randy, it happened with his sequel, and it’s happening now. So let’s chat. The fandom seems pretty mixed on this event. The main complaints boil down to:

Randy wasn’t given a spin-off like Klaus, Yukiya, and Elias. It’s even more unfair considering Klaus got a rerun AND a new spin-off.

One of Randy’s CGs is a ranking prize.

With the event stories, Randy essentially has to share his birthday with 6 other guys.

The items are ugly. Wig.

People who are content with the event generally agree on the following:

Randy’s getting a whole event to himself, and not many guys have gotten a collection event to themselves. Only Caesar had this. Nox didn’t play a huge part, or a part at all in some stories in Nightmare - The Phantom Thief, so that doesn’t count.

It’s something still pretty new, and people like the collection event format because it’s cheaper than a spin-off would have been or you know. They just like collection events.

They like the outfits and the aesthetic.

In my opinion, I’m totally fine with Randy getting a birthday collection event. I think the aesthetic is pretty good and I think it’s really cool Randy’s getting an event like this. Last time we had a Randy-themed event that wasn’t a route or sequel, it was a gold medal slot and a lot of people were angry because you had to whale to get those. To be honest, I think the collection event is great in part because it makes his birthday a lot more accessible. It’s true that you can buy stars, but for the most part, we’re getting a birthday for free. We don’t have to whale, we don’t have to use up all our Lune, or keys, or story tickets. I’ve gotten up to Azusa’s story in the event and they all balance the two guys well. No one is overshadowed. Randy isn’t overshadowed. Not to mention, as I said before, I think they might be testing us with this event and maybe in the future do this sort of thing for other guys. But I understand being upset because there’s no spin-off. Randy’s fans are incredibly passionate about him and I’m sure this feels like a blow to the head for them. And overall, as much as I love the idea of birthday collection events for love options, there’s really no way for anybody to win. If they did this with Klaus, the fandom would be outraged because Klaus gets a LOT of content. But with Randy, it’s a bummer he didn’t get a spin-off and if I’m being 100% honest, some of Randy’s fans have super high standards and always get upset when those lofty standards aren’t met. It’s not every Randy fan, of course, but let’s be real, when people are upset they get loud, and loud people are the most visible in fandoms, so even if it’s not the majority of Randy fans, it ultimately looks like it is. And of course, that sends the message to Solmare that we don’t like these events and no other dude is gonna have a chance at a birthday event like this. Although tbh, the only dudes I think could pull the collection event off are Yukiya and maybe Hiro, since they’re very beloved. But Yukiya’s birthday passed and Hiro’s isn't until like. November? Either way, this whole situation is hella messy and it sucks. We should all be happy and celebrating Randy’s birthday together, but this event’s unfortunately really stirred the pot.

DARLING OF THE MONTH But onto something happier: Darling of the Month! To be honest, I was very conflicted on who to make this month’s darling. Originally, I had planned for someone else, but then a week ago I remembered it’s Pride Month. And then once I remembered that, I had to decide between Amelia or Scarlett and that was an incredibly hard choice. But after a lot of thought, I’ve decided on one. So, this month’s Darling of the Month is Amelia Nile!

Amelia is just. Absolute bae. She’s so sweet and kind, and is honestly the best friend we all deserve. She’s funny, helpful, and so so so so generous. Amelia is honestly one of my favorite characters in Wizardess and I’m so happy our LGBT rep in the game is with such a wonderful person. Congratulations Amelia, you absolute Bicon.

CONCLUSION I knew I was gonna have a lot to talk about today, but this ended up being more than I originally anticipated. This was honestly an interesting week in the fandom, but hopefully next week, things quiet down. Let’s all just take a deep breath and keep moving forward. Next week, I’ll be coming back with a theory and I’ll be talking about Amelia’s spin-offs, since she doesn’t have a route for me to review. Thank you to everyone listening for reaching this milestone with me! I’ve been so busy that I haven’t been able to put anything special together for this and our past milestone, but I’m planning to do a special episode for our 15th episode. I’m still working on the details for that, though, so stay tuned for it. And that’ll do it for us this week! This is Mari, signing off.

[missfinefeather]

CG: IN THE COURSE OF YOUR ADVENTURE YOU WOULD HAVE ENCOUNTERED ALL THESE FRAGMENTS OF LIKE WEIRD POEMS AND SHIT. CG: YOU FIND THEM ALONG YOUR QUESTS, WITH CLUES AND STUFF BURIED IN THEM TO HELP YOU SOLVE PUZZLES AND MOVE HUGE STONE COLUMNS AND MAKE STAIRCASES APPEAR AND LOTS OF NONSENSE LIKE THAT. CG: AND IT'S ALL MASKED IN THIS FLOWERY SORT OF FROTHY POETIC JACKASSERY THAT NOBODY REALLY CARES ABOUT. 

SBURB in a nutshell.

CG: BUT WHAT ALL THESE LOFTY SYMBOLIC ALLUSIONS BOIL DOWN TO IS SOME GRANDER STATEMENT ABOUT WHAT YOU SEE HAPPENING HERE. CG: THAT YOU WERE ALWAYS THE KEY TO SEEDING YOUR OWN EXISTENCE THROUGH THIS GAME. CG: AND ANY HOPE THAT IT COULD HAVE PLAYED OUT DIFFERENTLY OR THAT YOU COULD HAVE AVOIDED THIS WHOLE MESS WAS ALWAYS JUST A RUSE. EB: a distaction, perhaps? 

Maybe that’s what the beta kids do in the future, maybe they try to alter the game...

Why would Jade allow that though... She’s been setting all this up and everything has been playing to design...

CG: WHICH IS ESPECIALLY PATHETIC SINCE PARADOX SPACE APPARENTLY WENT TO ALL THIS TROUBLE TO MAKE YOU JUST TO HAVE YOU FAIL AND DIE. CG: REALLY THERE'S NOTHING MORE TRAGIC THAN THESE NULL SESSIONS FULL OF KIDS ENTERING THE GAME AND FULFILLING SOME COSMIC DESTINY SHIT JUST TO GET WIPED OUT AND LEAVE BEHIND AN EMPTY POINTLESS INCIPISPHERE FOR ALL ETERNITY. CG: ACTUALLY IT'S SORT OF HILARIOUS. CG: OR IT WOULD BE IF IT DIDN'T AFFECT ME PERSONALLY. 

Okay, well, now I understand why these kids only ever have single parents...

And if they were born of the DNA of those four people, that means they are related...

Thank you so much Virgo for that save...

CG: I WAS THE GUY IN YOUR POSITION, TO MAKE ALL THESE CLONES, AND FRANKLY IT ALL KIND OF FREAKED ME THE HELL OUT. EB: huh... EB: yeah, i guess now that you mention it, i am finding it all a little strange... CG: OH, ONLY JUST NOW???

He’s slow to the uptake, this has been well established.

[promdreamsofficial]

dude im sO EXCITED FOR THE IDEA OF A PD REMAKE!!! it was such a wonderful game, i cant wait to see what good new stuff youd add to the remake to make it even better! :D

I’m glad!! *A* RIght now the bare minimum I want to add includes:

All new art assets, UIs, and sprites/tiles. This is primarily what I would need to raise funds for since it’d essentially be a a bunch of people making over the game for me with all original assets.

New gameplay elements such as an objective log, maps, and fast travel, to make the game a bit less tedious and more user friendly. For this I’m thinking about a cell phone item that encompasses all of these functions plus the class schedule.

More involved dating mechanics. Maybe some optional text chats with the girls?

More haunting events. DEFINITELY more haunting events. >:)

Extra playable bits focusing on the three love interests as an end-game unlockable.

And if I could get beyond the bare minimum and be able to afford it, I’d also like to add:

Partial voice acting (full voice acting would be a bit too lofty a goal I think)

Full CG illustrations for ~certain~ scenes. :3c

Remastered music that doesn’t rely strictly on freeware soundbanks and VSTis.

And if I’m REALLY daring, maybe adding full fledge OP and ED songs. LIKE A REAL ANIME GAME.

But again, these are all strictly dependent on a) my budget, b) how much support I get after releasing Turovero, and c) logistics with regards to revamping everything to be commercial-safe; i.e. getting permission from scripters, finding time between my actual day career and this, etc. etc. So I may not be able to deliver on every single one of these but I do want to try my luck with what I can!