#certificate of birth

[fckbatmanhiskidsareminenow]

batfam meets the JL but it’s just the bat kids breaking into the watch tower during a debriefing or meeting to ask bruce the most mundane questions. they go about it like they’re interns that need to speak to the CEO during a board meeting. they walk over waving their hands and mouthing “i’m so sorry just need to ask batman something 😬” and then they lean over to bruce and ask something like “alfred wants to know if you’re gonna be home for dinner” and then they dip.

one of them started this when bruce didn’t answer their texts (it was probably tim or something) and now everyone does it.

[foolsocracy]

identity reveals are always fun

[pgratedlies]

im all about Jason resetting his age after he died.

Little things like going to a diner or restaurant after patrol, kids eat free and this 6 foot 6 fridge just says "free meal I'm legally 2"

Or my favourite hc is Jason protecting Damian from his time in the LoA so Damian, 10 apples tall, introducing him everywhere is " this is my my little brother be nice to him" and it's Hulk's lovechild in a red tic tac helmet

[faramirsonofgondor]

Ok ok but Dick being like ~ 15 years older than Damian. When Damian shows up on Bruce’s doorstep, Bruce doesn’t really have a chance to announce it to the public before he gets lost in time. So now Dick, who’s 25 is stuck with this tiny 10 year old and has the job of integrating him into Gotham society.

Except because Bruce only adopts kids who look like him, and Damian and Dick are tanner than the rest of his kids, literally everyone assumes that Damian is Dick’s bio kid. Like Dick is like “oh yea this is Bruce’s biological son that I’m looking after” and everyone goes “uh huh sure” but when he’s not around they’re just like “oh that’s his kid for sure”. Both Dick and Damian are aware of it and offended by it, albeit for very different reasons. Dick is offended that they somehow think he would be a deadbeat dad even if he was a teen dad, and Damian is offended that nobody believes he’s Bruce’s kid.

But eventually Dick is just like fuck it that’s my kid, and Damian is extremely annoyed but somehow lets Dick convince him to go along with it. Dick walks around in a pink shirt that says “Your favorite DILF” in the most basic font ever, and buys Damian a matching shirt that says “The favorite child” which Damian refuses to wear unless one of the other Batkids (usually Steph since basically everyone else fucked off when Bruce was lost) is around.

It gets to the point where even Dick, Damian, and Alfred forget that Damian isn’t actually Dick’s bio kid. (In this AU, Bruce is lost in time for about 3 years) Dick decides to forget about Talia’s existence as well and just decides that Damian is a clone that he birthed. But then Bruce comes back and now they’re in a weird place. Damian lives with Bruce now and while nobody ever says anything directly, the entire public is giving them a huge side eye because both Dick and Damian look a little depressed with the predicament. People start to wonder if Bruce is blackmailing Dick or something.

Everything comes to a head when Bruce and Dick start fighting in front of the whole fam over something Bruce said to Damian on patrol. Bruce tells Dick that he needs to back off because Bruce is Damian’s father, not Dick. Nobody’s sure how Dick is going to respond, but they definitely weren’t expecting for Dick to say “Fuck you, I’m the one who birthed him!!!” There’s a stretch of silence and before anyone can respond to that, Damian just nods his head and goes “Grayson is right. Surely your memory is not so poor that you’ve forgotten?” Everyone is gaping when Alfred delivers the final blow “Master Bruce, I truly did not expect this behavior from you. Of course Master Dick is Damian’s parent. Perhaps it is best if you retire, since it is clear that your lack of sleep is getting the better of you.”

Everyone is shook and they’re like “wtf you cannot gaslight us into believing this shit.” Except they do indeed gaslight. And gaslight. And gaslight.

Jason tries to reason with them by talking about how he had met Damian in the League, had seen Damian with Talia, yada yada yada. Damian just goes “I think I would remember if I had played little league. Such foolish games are beneath me. Cease your nonsense, Todd.” Jason eventually calls Talia to make sure he’s not losing his memories or something. Talia is perplexed but Dick’s claim over her child does scare her just a little bit, considering she remembers how feral he was when he was younger and she’s heard whispers about him killing the Joker (not that she ever mentioned that to Jason).

Tim tries to go with logic but gets shut down every time. One time he asks “If you were raised by Dick then why is your English so proper?” He’s met with “Oh, so because English is not Richard’s first language, then he is incapable of speaking it properly? Tt.” When he questions why Damian fights the way he does if he wasn’t raised by the LoA, Dick brings out his Renegade training and shows off his skills. Tim keeps trying to find ways to prove that they’re lying, but somehow ends up losing the argument every time. It’s grating, especially considering Alfred is on their side.

Bruce is hesitant to try anything because Alfred is corroborating their story and he doesn’t want to cross Alfred. He only questions it once, asking Dick where Damian’s baby photos are. He does not anticipate Dick tearfully explaining that they were all destroyed when Blockbuster blew up his apartment. Bruce is so panicked and desperate to make sure Dick doesn’t cry again that he just never questions it again.

So now the entire family is kinda gaslight into believing it, and those who know the truth don’t actually say anything because they don’t think it’s worth the effort. After all, Dick is doing a great job of parenting Damian. But then comes the Justice League, which is much bigger than batfam. Everyone is kinda awkwardly glancing around when Dick introduces Damian as his kid, because they remember a few years back Bruce saying the same thing, but now Bruce is just going along with what Dick is saying. The OG Titans are like “wtf dude” but also immediately have his back whenever someone tries to question it. They talk about how they were there for Damian’s birth, about all the presents they’ve bought for their nephew and holidays spent together. Everyone gets the memo to not ask questions about it. The only one stupid enough to try is Hal, who is met with a feral Damian. He has a flashback of the many, many times Dick bit him as a child and decides that yea, that kid belongs to Dick.

[whatareyoureallyafraidof]

We tried to tell you...

[marystaceylala]

[fatehbaz]

got some documents in the mail, the state said i'm a girl or whatever

(do a billion remote class/medical/meeting things but been so long since cared enough to actually flatteringly frame myself on a webcam and have no idea what i'm doing, look at this shit)

[kittenscookie]

Now all I can imagine is the M.E Hermes trying to give cannon Luke as much spoils to get Cannon Hermes angry-

M.E Hermes: *Pulls up in the sexiest Cherry Red Impala you'd ever seen*

M.E Hermes: LUKE!

AU Luke: Hm?

M.E Hermes: Not you, the one stuck with a dead beat!

Canon Luke: Yes?

M.E Hermes: *Throws the car keys at him*

Canon Luke: *Catches them*

M.E Hermes: *Jerks head towards the Impala* It's yours!

PJO Hermes: HUH!?

Canon Luke: *Processing*

Canon Luke: ...It's mine?

M.E Hermes: It's yours! There are fake IDs and twelve hundred dollars in the center console, go enjoy your youth darling!

PJO Hermes: ...*Eye twitch*

Canon Luke: ...*Stares at AU Luke*

AU Luke: *Stares back*

*Both Lukes have a silent convo for about ten seconds*

Canon Luke: ...Alright, you coming?

AU Luke: Shiiiiiit! I was hoping you'd ask!

*Both bolt towards the car*

PJO Hermes: Hold on—!

M.E Hermes: *Drops the accent* Shut the fuck up! You basically abandoned him, he fucking deserves this!

[mxwhore]

warm up of the days is taking necessary risks

[shewhoworshipscarlin]

Birth and baptismal certificate for Catherina Reicard, 1789, Haines Township, Pennsylvania.

[coochiequeens]

It did not occur to me, as a man, to put myself in the shoes of a woman, encountering a “legal woman” with male genitals in a women-only space." And that is coming from a human rights professor.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2025/05/27/i-lost-friends-when-i-changed-my-mind-on-trans-rights/

I changed my mind on trans rights – and lost multiple friends

As a human rights lawyer, I never questioned the trans movement. But, after a lightbulb moment, I publicly changed my position

King’s College London human rights professor Robert Wintemute believes some members of the transgender-rights movement do not understand that ‘women have human rights too’ Credit: Geoff Pugh

By Robert Wintemute 27 May 2025

I am a human rights lawyer and professor at King’s College London. Until 2018, I supported all the demands of the transgender-rights movement. But since then, I have changed my mind.

Why? Because I finally understood that some demands conflict with the rights of women and are therefore unreasonable.

I first encountered transgender rights as a University of Oxford PhD student, researching the human rights of lesbian, gay and bisexual individuals and same-sex couples. The claims of transsexual persons, as they were then known, seemed different to me. I did not understand them, so I was reluctant to comment on them.

And when, in the 2002 Christine Goodwin case (Goodwin said that she had faced sexual harassment at work following gender-affirming surgery), the European Court of Human Rights ruled that the UK must amend the sex on the birth certificates of “post-operative transsexuals” to reflect their “new sexual identity”, I thought that this must be progress. At last, the UK would have to catch up with other European countries.

Two years later, when the Gender Recognition Act of 2004 went well beyond that ruling, by not requiring any surgery or other medical treatment (a person with a beard and male genitals could become legally female), it struck me as very generous but I did not question it.

I assumed that whatever the transgender community demanded must be reasonable.

They knew what they needed. It did not occur to me, as a man, to put myself in the shoes of a woman, encountering a “legal woman” with male genitals in a women-only space.

As such, when I joined a group of experts in Indonesia to draft the 2007 Yogyakarta Principles, widely cited as “best practice” on sexual orientation and gender identity, I did not question the proposals of the transgender experts.

Everything changed in 2018. My lightbulb moment came at a university summer school. I was asked to explain the “spousal veto” under UK law: a wife must consent, if her husband wishes to change his legal sex to female and in turn make their opposite-sex marriage into a same-sex marriage. I said that the husband’s human right to change his legal sex could be limited to respect “the rights of others” (the wife’s right not to be in a same-sex marriage against her will).

A transgender student could not understand how I could compare the husband’s “fundamental human right” with the wife’s right under “a contract” (their marriage). Feeling frustrated, I said: “Trans rights don’t trump everything else!”

The transgender student became angry and stormed out of the classroom. Finally, it dawned on me that some members of the transgender-rights movement did not seem to understand that women have human rights too.

Over the next two years, I began to speak with women about their concerns about some transgender demands.

One woman asked if I had read Principle 31 of the 2017 Yogyakarta Principles (in which I did not participate). I had not done so and was shocked when I read it.

It boldly claimed that every country in the world must remove sex from birth certificates and, until then, allow change of legal sex based on self-identification (without a diagnosis of gender dysphoria).

In 2021, I publicly changed my position. On April 1 of that year, in an interview published in The Critic, I criticised Principle 31 and suggested for the first time that allowing change of legal sex might not be necessary to protect the rights of transgender people.

Fifteen days later, citing the interview, an LGBT organisation terminated its relationship with me, after more than twenty years.

To an LGBT-rights activist I had known for just as long, I wrote: “I hope that we can still be friends!” He replied that he wanted “to take a break for a bit” (now four years and counting).

A month later, I became a trustee of the charity LGB Alliance (founded in 2019 after Stonewall began to prioritise transgender issues) and went on to speak at its first annual conference.

In that speech, I focused on the legal changes I had witnessed since 2002 and linked the political tensions surrounding transgender rights to an “abuse of sympathy”, which had in turn led to an “escalation of demands”.

I charted how we had shifted from change of legal sex after surgery, to change of legal sex without medical treatment but with safeguards (a diagnosis of gender dysphoria and a two-year waiting period), to change of legal sex based on self-identification (with no safeguards) and finally to removing sex from birth certificates (meaning that there is no legal sex to change).

These were ideas I carried forwards to a staff research seminar at King’s in November of 2021 – albeit not without controversy. The Dean of the School of Law rejected calls to cancel the event and showed his support for freedom of expression by attending. Three security guards were posted outside the room (a first in my thirty years at the university), but no protesters appeared.

Two years later, in January 2023, I was scheduled to give the same talk at Montréal’s McGill University Faculty of Law (where I had studied).

But this time I faced a hostile mob of between 100-200 students.

See rest of article

[vurelly]

a personal fuck you to the us healthcare system

[thestoryteller-thedreamer]

P.I.X.A.L.: According to their website, they are on backorder. 

Lloyd: Aw man. I was really looking forward to pizza night.

P.I.X.A.L.: Would you like pepperonis or bacon?

Lloyd: Wait, I thought you said they were on backorder.

P.I.X.A.L.: They are. I found a way to circumvent their website restrictions. Would you like pepperonis or bacon? Or both? 

Lloyd: P.I.X.A.L., it’s a pizza. 

[somecunttookmyurl]

Hey is anyone gonna ask you about the "legally male for 6 months" story or should I rummage through your old posts like a raccoon?

i've posted about it so many times lol

i changed my whole-ass name (first middle and last) when i was 16 because i didn't like it. that's all. normalise changing your name because it sucks lol

i did that before i sat my GCSE exams so that they'd all be the right name and i wouldn't have any faff when i went to do my a-levels being all like "hey i know it says this name but my name is this now" yada yada. which was right at the end of 5 years of schooling like literally 2-3 months before i left forever so the name change wouldn't really matter to them too much besides changing where i sat in the exam hall.

my school decided, for some reason, on my behalf, entirely without my input... that i also changed my gender

so my GCSE results are for "mr. [name]" not "miss [name]"

which, ironically, was even more of a faff during A-level enrollment a few months later than having a different name would have been

anyway my gender is ABBA: assigned boy by academia

[machetelanding]

The Penguin's birth certificate prop from Batman Returns. Although never seen on screen, this prop suggests that the film (set 33 years after Penguin's birth) is set in the 1980s!

[doodleddaisies]

I love when people say “will smith hockey” like it’s his legal government name