#certainly believe me i understand the amount of stress and pressure put on schooling that fucking destroys people. happened to ppl i know.

[istherewifiinhell]

always curious to me the 'testing doesnt help' thing. i suppose i have to remember theres a difference between structures of standardized testing and the act of just. practicing recall? which i would call 'quizing' myself. but then again i am the route memorization outlier... so...

[robertjameshomeservices]

Are you a workaholic or just too scared to stop?

Do you break out in a sweat whenever a friend simply raises the subject that perhaps you should consider changing your work pattern? Maybe you lie awake at night ‘freaking out’ from nightmares about what might happen to your business if you don’t go into the office on Saturday? Or, perhaps your partner makes plans to go out to dinner and a show, but you are always too late at work? Are you currently struggling with change, or does even the thought of making changes to your business and family life balance cause you stress? Let’s discuss the Robert James and James Home Services view on it.

If any of the above describes you, you just might have a problem that needs to be addressed.

WHAT’S DRIVING YOUR BEHAVIOUR?

According to Robert James and James Home Services, there are two very different drivers behind these behaviours:

The workaholic.

The just too scared to stop running. Let’s have a look at these.

The workaholic

Firstly, what is a workaholic? The definition: ‘A person who compulsively works excessively hard and long hours.’

How do you know if you’re a workaholic?

Basically, you are working compulsively. You take your business phone on your dinner dates and check it every 10 minutes. Your mind is always on your business. It’s all you talk about – you love to talk about your business and work to anyone who will listen. You love your business; sometimes it seems you love it more than anyone or anything else.

But the real clue: the rest of your life is consistently playing second fiddle to your business.

Too scared to stop

Secondly, there is the person who is just too scared to stop running. What does this mean? Like a little mouse on a treadmill, you feel like you can’t stop doing what you are doing. This behaviour is fear driven. You are the driver in the business; it is your brainchild. There are many people relying on you to do what you do. Not only is your whole family relying on you to bring home the bacon, your staff and their families are relying on you too!

Not to mention, your staff could make huge mistakes which you will end up paying for, if you are not there to give them guidance. And all your clients rely on you to make them happy. Actually, your staff also relies on you to make them happy. Now that you mention it, your whole family relies on you to make them happy as well. Is this starting to sound familiar?

You feel that if you stop working hard in your business, the whole world will totally implode.

HOW WILL IT END?

Here are a couple of stories about two very different friends of mine that may help put these personalities into perspective. Both are very successful, motivated, and smart businesswomen. They are single, loving Mums, the primary caregivers to their school-age children, as well as the CEOs of each of their businesses. They both do an amazing job of the full-time juggling act of parenting and managing their growing businesses.

On call 24/7

Kate is a trained nurse turned CEO of her own rapidly growing pallia- tive aged care business. Kate’s business delivers professionally trained caregivers to the aged in the comfort of their own homes.

Her staff of 50-plus nurses helps the aging clients to stay in their own homes as long as possible. This, in turn, gives them a long life, but also offers them a much better quality of life in the later years. In short, Kate’s business allows our aging population the opportunity to live in their own homes, until it is time to pass.

Kate, understandably, is very passionate about the services her business provides to people. As she once told me, ‘I love old people; they are just beautiful. I truly believe we should all have the opportunity to finish our time in our home with the people who love us. That is the way I would wish to finish my time.’

When you talk to Kate about her business, her eyes light up! She is so excited about her own business, and the industry as a whole. Her phone is always in close reach. She takes great pride in the level of care her people deliver.

In her industry, all the clients do eventually pass away, and her nurses must deal with this on a regular basis. Kate is very hands-on in sup- porting her nursing staff to deal with these regular outcomes, and she is very good at it. Her pragmatic, caring way is the basis of the whole business culture.

These events can happen any time, 24/7, and as such Kate is frequently on calls with her people at all hours of the day and night. She manages the overall business on top of this, of course.

Kate is also the sole caregiver for her 12-year-old daughter. She is very passionate about what she does, it is her driving force, but at times the business she loves can be exhausting. She is totally engulfed in what’s she’s doing, but the business can at times overwhelm her. She truly is

in her business 100%. The emotional energy she has is amazing but she still gets burnt out.

Kate is a workaholic, and in the long run the lack of balance will be detrimental to her business.

Under pressure

Then there is Jo, the principal in her family’s successful real estate agency. She is third-generation real estate; her family’s agency in Brisbane’s Bayside has been in the area for over 60 years.

The family skills certainly were passed down the line in Jo’s case. Her retired father still comes into the office every Tuesday. ‘I love the days Dad is in the office; he is my inspiration and a pleasure to be around,’ she says.

Jo has a business degree in marketing, and a special creative flair for marketing property. She is the primary provider for her two school-age children as well. She spends her days on the phone, constantly mak- ing the sales happen. ‘Then, when I’m in Mum mode,’ she says, ‘it can get crazy – juggling school, holidays, running a business and having a whole lot of people to make happy. Room for any time for me is beyond me.’ Jo appears to be carrying the full load. Rarely does she give herself time out.

The fear of failing seems to be the driver that keeps her going. At times, she appears to be a victim of circumstance. Her own family is very supportive but her ex-husband does nothing towards the care of their children.

This does put a huge amount of pressure on her to perform in the business. Jo is too busy to deal with her ex-husband’s irresponsibility. Working herself into the ground is a way to avoid dealing with the real problems that she should face up to, but it’s not a path to long-term success.

**** *

For the pressures on your time to change, you need to accept that change is the answer to releasing that pressure. If you don’t really want it to change, then it won’t. Your reality is your reality, and your personal habits are only habits. They do have value to you: work can be an escape from home. If you are too fearful to accept the need for change then it will never eventuate. To get the balance right, you should look at what is holding you back.

The workaholic is addicted to the buzz of the business. Robert James and James Home Services says, If you have become engulfed in the adrenaline buzz of making it happen, every- thing in your life plays second fiddle. Could this be you? If so, what can you do about it?

The just too scared to stop running is driven by a fear of failure. This is you if you can’t sleep at night because you are terrified your business world will implode if you take a day off. Do you feel like a slave to your business? Or sometimes you may feel that hiding behind the ‘work’ can be easier than dealing with the real issues on hand. Could this be you? If so, what can you do about it?

Originally Posted at: https://robertjameshomeservices.com/are-you-a-workaholic-or-just-too-scared-to-stop/

[faean]

Adamance of a Dragon

Collaborator: @i-am-here-with-fanfic.

Rating: T+; Mild Language

Word Length: 3,276

Chapter 6- First Day Jitters

           First day of school! I still cannot believe I convinced Aaron to leave this early in the morning so we could arrive at our classes before most everyone else. I also just wanted to spend more time out of the house after being stuck inside for the last two weeks of March having to fight my heat. The train station was still fairly busy, but there certainly were fewer people.

           Eating a breakfast burrito to pass the time as I waited for Aaron, I received a good morning text from Todoroki. After learning a bit more about his childhood from his sister over the past month, I began to cherish these small efforts by him far more. Even with the loss of my family, I had Aaron and Aria by my side. I simply cannot fathom feeling so lonely for so long with one’s family so close by. A heavy sigh escaped my lips as I tried to push the thoughts out of my head. Dwelling on them any longer would likely result in my holding a grudge against Endeavor, and I do not wish to choose sides unless absolutely necessary.

           “Hey, Faian. You ready to go?”

           I must have been quite engrossed in my thoughts to not notice when Aaron arrived. With a simple nod, we began our trek to U.A.

           Casting a side-glance at Aaron, I saw the odd look on his face. I could even smell stress sweat through his deodorant, though, I did not need my draconic senses to do so.

           “Nervous, little flame?”

           “A bit. It’s just the pressure of going to such a well-known school. It’ll pass. Hopefully.”

           It did not take long to arrive, and we had three quarters of an hour before class even began. First stopping at Aaron’s shoe locker so he could switch his footwear (I kept my moccasins on, and wore my jacket draped over my shoulders/school uniform), we continued through the school, looking for our classes and generally just exploring.

           Until Aaron decided to head to class early, wanting some time to gather his nerves. Bidding him farewell, I decided to do the same and wait for class to start. While in class.

           Yeah.

           ‘Oh gods, I am a mess’ was the first thing to pass through my mind as I entered through the massive door. Although, any thoughts of anxiety were dashed when I noticed just how peculiarly the school made their accommodations for having an extra student enrolled. There was literally just an extra desk in the row furthest from the door, and it looked incredibly out of place.

           I mean, could they not have just centered it? Or changed the lay out? Schools back in the States easily accommodated over 30 students in a single class room; at least, that is what Aaron told me, considering I have not been inside a class room in nearly five years.

           Shrugging, as there was little point in continuing this line of thought, I took my seat in the back corner, feeling a bit like some sort of protagonist. Although, I would probably be more of an anti-hero than anything. Perhaps my time in this course will change that. Then again, that would require altering my very nature as a dragon.

           Ah, well. I doubt that will come into focus any time soon.

           Crossing my arms on my desk and resting my chin on them, I took note of the students who gradually filled the room. Some were rather, well, vivid. I suppose being a hero does require a certain energy and amount of extravagance, but some of these characters were a tad over the top.

           Fortunately, I was able to avoid much of the ruckus they caused and greeted Todoroki when he arrived; however, the young lass who sat ahead of me was kind enough to introduce herself.

           She had a lovely voice and carried herself with an aura of confidence. Her luscious black hair and warm onyx eyes, along with the sweet smile on her lips also painted her with a caring attitude.

           “I’m Yaoyorozu Momo, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

           “Nadal Faian. I apologize if I sound formal or my Japanese is a bit odd. I am originally from the States; California to be precise.” I answered after she bowed, bowing my head in response.

           “That explains the extra desk. U.A is known for accepting only a certain number of students. You must be pretty special for them to make an exception.”

           A small blush dusted my cheeks at the compliment. I nodded sheepishly, unsure of how to respond. Thankfully, I did not have to as a green-haired male entered the room, causing a stir that drew the attention of many of the students, including myself and Yaoyorozu. Admittedly, with all the noise, I could not discern who said what, nor what was even said until a familiar tired voice cut through the commotion (I may have also not been paying attention until said voice).

           “If you’re just here to make friends then you can pack up your stuff now.”

           Being so far in the back, I could not see who was speaking (I had an idea), but he continued.

           “Welcome to U.A.’s hero course … It took eight seconds before you all shut up. That’s not gonna work. Time is precious. Logical students would understand that.”

           By now I could confirm who was speaking. Aizawa Shouta, a fairly tall male with messy black hair in a black outfit, a scarf resting atop his shoulders and a sleeping bag(?) in his grasp. “Hello, I am Aizawa Shouta, your homeroom teacher.”

           His introduction shocked the trio in the front, and several other students in the room; however, he remained unfazed and continued speaking. “Right, let’s get to it. Put these on and head outside.”

           He pulled what looked like a physical education uniform out of his sleeping bag (I am curious as to why he had it in there of all places). No questions were asked, though, as everyone followed his instructions.

           I was the first on the field we were to meet at, having forgone changing in the locker room in favor of simply shifting my current outfit into the new uniform (still had to place the new uniform in my locker to do so). It had earned me a few glances but, to be fair, I did look a bit off with the subtle mutations from my quirk in the first place. Aaron had once described the feeling as entering a room where everything was moved a couple inches in one direction and knowing something was off, but not being able to tell what it was.

           While I was still the only one present, Aizawa had approached me and asked (it was more of an order) if I could aid in the upcoming exercise, leaving out exactly what it was I would be helping with.

           I agreed.

           Once the rest of the students had gathered, Aizawa announced that we would be partaking in a quirk assessment test, which led to several students to repeat the words in confusion. A brunette, whom I recognized as Uraraka, the girl I had tied with, also asked about orientation, exclaiming that we would be missing it by taking this test.

           Not bothering to look at the other students, Aizawa stated “if you really wanna make the big leagues, you can’t waste time on pointless ceremonies.” Several students gasped at his bluntness before he continued. “Here at U.A., we’re not tethered to traditions. That means I get to run my class however I see fit.”

           More gasps.

           “You’ve been taking standardized tests most of your lives. But you never got to use your Quirks in physical exams before. The country’s still trying to pretend we’re all created equal by not letting those with the most power excel. It’s not logical. One day, the ministry of Education will learn.”

           Turning to face the students, his attention landing on one in particular, our teacher kept up his lecture. “Bakugou, you managed to get the most points on the entrance exam. What was your farthest distance throw with a softball when you were in Junior High?”

           All eyes were trained on Bakugou as he answered. “Sixty-seven meters, I think.”

           ‘Thank gods I excel in mathematics, otherwise the metric system would have screwed me during the move,’ I thought before Aizawa requested Bakugou to throw the ball using his Quirk. Having been in a different area than him during the entrance exam, I knew naught of his Quirk, nor the applications of it. My lack of knowledge piqued my interest as I watched intently (although, the thought of being needed for something still lingered in my mind).

           Standing in the circle, Aizawa told him that he can do anything with his Quirk, so long as he remained within the circle; followed by him berating Bakugou for wasting time (it had only been a few seconds!). Although, it did not phase the ashen blond one bit, his nonchalant response serving as evidence.

           However, I was rather baffled when he loudly growled ‘Die’ and launched the ball with what appeared to be an explosion.

           While the ball was still soaring through the air, Aizawa plainly said, “all of you need to know your maximum capabilities,” pausing to let the ball hit the ground, he faced the rest of the students, revealing the impressive distance of 705.2 meters on his phone (I think it was his phone) while he continued to say, “it’s the most logical way of figuring out your potential as a pro hero.”

           Hear that? Even more gasping.

           After the initial shock wore off, many students began to voice their excitement about being able to use their abilities; however, our teacher was quick to silence them.

           “So, this looks fun, huh? (By the gods, gasping again?!) You have three years here to become a hero. You think it’s all gonna be games and play time? Idiots. Today you’ll compete in eight physical tests to gauge your potential, with Nadal here,” he gestured to me briefly, “demonstrating each test and setting the bar you should aim to surpass; without using his Quirk. Whoever comes in last has no potential and will be expelled immediately.”

           Two things. First, I now realize that it was Aizawa who expelled an entire class, once upon a time. Second, I cannot believe he is using me as the control. Well, actually, I can. After all, he was the teacher I had to meet with to fill out the paperwork for my enrollment (alongside the principal). Still, it would have been nice to have received a warning, especially with some of my classmates now murmuring about me (it did not help that I could hear everything, fully attentive this time around).

           After reminding us that he gets to run this class as he sees fit and telling us to just leave if we have a problem with it, Aizawa received several complaints. Specifically, from Uraraka, who passionately believed the threat of expulsion to be unfair and question his ruling.

           Once again establishing why we are here at U.A., our teacher answered with a string of scenarios. “Oh, and you think natural disasters are? Or power-hungry villains? Hm? Or catastrophic accidents that wipe out whole cities? No, the world if full of unfairness. It’s a hero’s job to try to combat that unfairness. If you wanna be a pro, you’re gonna have to push yourself to the brink. For the next three years, U.A. will throw one terrible hardship after another at you. So, go beyond. Plus Ultra-style.”

           Aizawa held a look of contempt on his face, challenging the students with a beckoning motion of his hand. Also…

           More god damn gasping.

           With that said, we began the tests. The first test we took (and the first for me to demonstrate), was the 50 meter dash. Complying with the parameters set by my teacher for me, I traversed the distance without using my Quirk. This earned me a total time of 3.51 seconds and was the goal the other students were supposed to pass (which was done by the male with mufflers in his calves, whom I learned was named Iida Tenya).

           We continued this pattern throughout all eight tests, with some of the students capable of matching my base numbers and even surpassing them. My results for the remaining seven tests were…

           Grip Strength- 453 kilograms.

           Standing Long Jump- Cleared.

           Sustained Sideways Jump- I do not recall; I sort of got distracted.

           Ball Throw- 1,327 meters.

           And the last three were only regular old fitness tests, not exactly worth mentioning. Admittedly, it was indeed unfair for me to act as the control since my body is naturally superhuman in order for it to withstand my Quirk. Also, I am certain Aizawa knew this from our previous meetings and exploited it; as if threatening expulsion was not enough motivation.

           Especially when the small green-et was singled out by Aizawa during the ball thrown. His Quirk was self-destructive but, I must admit, I took a liking to him. I remember just how much my own Quirk would break down my body until I began channeling it properly. Even his minor speech was rousing, and I could not prevent myself from helping relieve some of the pain of his broken finger (I made a splint using some earth magic).

           And I was not the only one with an interest in him. At some point during these tests, I noticed All Might (of all people) watching from around a corner. He was quite enthralled by Midoriya Izuku, and his obvious excitement during his ball throw reminded me that Aaron and I saw him training Midoriya.

           Aside from those few things, and Bakugou nearly assaulting Midoriya, the assessment had come to a close with out much issue. Aizawa displayed our overall standing, not bothering to go over individual scores, as well as admitting that his threat of expulsion was no more than a ‘logical ruse’. Or a ‘rational deception’, I am not sure which (I still have some trouble translating back and forth). Fortunately, Yaoyorozu figured that out and, hopefully, a few other students did.

           I would expect nothing less; however, of the girl who was one of two people who beat the base line average Aizawa had me set (Todoroki was the other, of course). With that, most of us went back to class, with the exception for Midoriya, who had to head to Recovery Girl’s office.

           The rest of the day was uneventful, well, until I was awaiting Aaron after school.

           “Oi! Cat eyes!”

           Sighing, I turned towards the owner of the raucous voice, Bakugou Katsuki, to answer. “Ello, Bakugou. How may I be of assistance?”

           Stormy eyes glared into mine as I stood stooped before the shorter male, my expression maintaining its natural disinterest.

           “You can tell me how the hell a damn extra like you pulled off those stunts without a Quirk! Did Aizawa have you cheat to make us look bad?” The edge in his voice and sparking of his palms would have been intimidating if he was, well, intimidating.

           “Ah, dear Bakugou, there is no need for you to fret. Aizawa merely wished for me to provide more competition. As for how I accomplished such feats,” I took a step closer, a mischievous grin dancing across my lips as I honeyed my words, “such knowledge requires an equal trade, Iratus Catella.”

           With that, I strolled back towards the school, leaving the ‘angry puppy’ behind to contemplate what I told him; however, I was not paying much attention to my surroundings as I was focused on finding Aaron. As a result, I knocked into someone. Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around the person and spun so they would land on me (it happened a lot when Aaron and I were kids).

           “What luck you must have,” slipped my mouth as I smiled lazily on the ground.

           Noticing the ruffled emerald hair tickling my chin, I realize it was Midoriya who I rushed into it. I also remembered that he had broken his finger during the assessment test, and I grew worried I may have damaged it further. After all, such a small yet defiant young lad requires-

           ‘Oh, my gods, he is adorable!’, was what shot through my mind as he pushed himself up, the warm light of the afternoon sun cascading over-

           ‘Why the hell must it be so bright?’, was the second thought that went through my mind as Midoriya became ridiculously flustered and scrambled off of me, apologizing profusely as three other students -Iida, Uraraka, and Aaron- approached us, asking if we were ‘okay’.

           “I am quite all right, thank you. I am more concerned with the little clover. I do hope I did not aggravate your finger,” I say, sitting up and crossing my legs.

           “Oh, no! It’s completely fine, I mean, I should’ve been looking where I was going and if you didn’t catch me, I probably would’ve needed to head back to the nurse and it would have been super embarrassing to go back so soon after already breaking my finger!” He finally took a breath and started to calm down, asking if I needed a hand.

           Picking my jacket off the ground and shifting my uniform into my regular outfit, I stood without assistance, thanking Midoriya for the offer as he, Iida, and Uraraka held a look of mild confusion.

           Iida was the first to speak, asking “May I inquire as to what your Quirk is? It must be quite powerful if our teacher recognizes your strength.”

           “That’s right! Aizawa had you set the bar for everyone. Didn’t he have you do it without your Quirk, too?” Uraraka followed.

           “I suppose it would be best for me to share. The name bestowed upon my Quirk is ‘Draconico Vitae’, better known as Dragon of Life,” I gestured to a few of my noticeable draconic features. “Simply put, I am capable of anything a dragon of my kind is, including having the ability to perform powerful elemental magic. As a result, my natural capabilities as a human are far greater than the average person; otherwise, I would not have survived the backlash of my Quirk.”

           “Physical traits and abilities aside, Faian also shares the same nature as a dragon. He hoards knowledge and anything of importance, is inclined to disinterest, and tends to be lazy,” Aaron added.

           Iida and Uraraka were impressed, while Midoriya was ceaselessly scribbling in a damaged journal. Being much taller, I could see that he was taking notes on my Quirk, as well as sketching several of my traits and jotting down possible fighting styles. Admittedly, his mumbling was much more interesting, but he was speaking so fast I was unable to understand most of it.

           “You know, I would be willing to share more on my Quirk, for a price.”

           However, Aaron was quick to remind me of the time, stating “Faian, now is not the time for you to make trades. I’m certain they want to know more about your Quirk, but we need to get going. You did order a bunch of new furniture that was supposed to come in today.”

           “My Victorian-era furniture! We need to get to my house before the delivery truck, otherwise they may skip it and I shall lose my payment!”

           “You wasted a lot of time not using contractions.”

           After casting a playful glare towards Aaron, I bid farewell to our new friends. Picking Aaron up bridal-style, I unfurled my wings and took off towards my house. 

Beta Reader, Collaborator, Owner of Aria and Aaron Granchester, and Creator of the Illegitimate Son storyline- @i-am-here-with-fanfic.

PS- Check out her tumblr and SPAM it.

[draqcnheartstrinq]

Vitalum Vitalis: Echo

Part X

Peter Parker x Female!Reader

Word count: 1.623 Warning: Sadness?

Hey and hello to everyone who is actually reading this series or just stumbled across. Just to be clear to everyone, this series indeed is a reader insert kind of series. Many might not realise that because the main female character is called “Alive” or “Ali” for short but as told in the first few parts of the series she’s only called like that because THEY DON’T KNOW her real name. You can easily put yourself in the main girl’s perspective because I never fully described any of her distinct features, like skin colour, hair type, eye colour,... Just thought I would let you all know because I’ve had quite a few asks pointing this out to me and saying they didn’t read further because of it. Of course you can choose for Ali to be an OC, it’s whatever you please her to be really. :) Now that this rambling is over: I hope you enjoy

Reminder: this is a slow burn series, don’t expect this to be quick and easy ;)

VV Masterpost | Part XI: Full Body Prosthetic

Two whole days were spent at the side of her own living but sleeping figure. Four whole days was she forced to keep away from Peter, the boy who she wanted to see and speak most, because he needed to recover and get things sorted with himself first, before hearing about all the things Ali wanted to confess to him.

So she decided to lock herself up, with herself as the only company she had, literally.

She often took off her gloves, revealed her metalic hands created by Tony Stark, and stared at them for several minutes in a row. She closed her fake eyes, cut off her fake senses and tried to feel those of the real her, peacefully sleeping on the bed. She guided her mechanic fingers through the real her’s hair, attempting to untangle the knots.

She wanted to feel all the things she was meant to feel. Touch, aroma, taste, her beating heart,... But she could only feel an echo of them, only a simulation of what it was like to actually live.

No matter how hard she tried, how long she stared at her own unmoving figure to just feel something, nothing came. An echo, not the real thing, never the real thing.

When she had Peter, at least the emotions were there. She had wanted his friendship, even craved it after weeks of having his company and now it was all gone again. She couldn’t see him, wasn’t allowed to. If she had gone against that, they had surely taken away this last piece of reality she got to witness, Tony would have turned off this machinery she was meant to call her body.

“Peter, at least give me Peter back”, she whispered to herself, hearing it like another echo ringing through the air. Her head hung low, her so called “eyes” trained on the tears dripping from her real ones. At least she was able to detect the emotions living inside her. It made her that little bit more human, and being human felt so right.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Cold sweat glistened on Peter’s forehead, his hands wrung in the sheets and his breathing was irregular. As soon as he perceived someone entering the room he sat up, distressed and out of breath, awoken from a bad dream. The fifth in only four days.

The people that were shot kept following him into his sleep every night, the thought of innocent lives being spilled into the corners of the New York’s streets kept haunting him. He really did keep himself responsible for all the deaths that day, whilst everybody told him he shouldn’t.

“Peter, are you okay? F.R.I.D.A.Y. warned me your blood pressure was rising”, the person spoke up. It was Tony, thank god it was just Tony.

“I’m fine, j-just another bad dream.”

“A nightmare you mean? Again?” It hadn’t been a secret that Peter was the embodiment of stress, but never had it been this severe. With the shooting, missing school, not being able to talk to Ned or May and not seeing or speaking to Alive once, he had reached his breaking point.

“Can I please see Ali? I-”, he stopped himself, not really knowing why he wanted her there with him in the first place. He just felt like she needed him, but most of all he knew he himself needed her. “I mean, it’s been four days. I want to see her, have her around again. I’m sorry I just… I… I don’t know.”

“You both need time, boy, you know that”, Tony told him, pitty lacing his words as his eyes lingered on Peter’s pleading and desperate glances.

“I know but… I also know I need her, and for some reason my senses are telling me she needs me too. Please, just, at least tell her I’m okay.”

“Then I would be lying to her, kid.” Tony turned himself around and made to walk away before sighing, “Don’t worry, I’ll go get her for you.”

Peter’s hope shone through his eyes, at only the thought of her being at his side again.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Merely the mention of Peter’s name was enough for Ali to jump up from the chair she had spent her nights in these last few days. She ran past Tony, ignoring the warnings he threw her way, something about taking it easy and not overwhelming the boy waiting for her a few floors down. It’s funny how suddenly the roles were reversed, how now Peter was the one everyone had to take it slow with instead of Alive. She didn’t notice the worried looks in Tony’s eyes, neither did she notice the words he directed to the lonely girl lying on the hospital bed.

The echoes were gone, only Peter on her mind.

She pushed doors out of her way, exclaimed excuses to everyone she bumped into, she even took the stairs because the elevator would take too long.

When she had finally reached Peter’s room and could see him from the other side of the window, her smile grew three times in size.

He noticed her presence immediately, as if a switch in his brain made his attention peek to a thousand and his senses accelerate to at least that same amount. Eyes caught one another, toothy grins appeared and hearts swelled against rib cages. One of those hearts may have still been located on the 6th floor, many floors away, but it thumped just as hard either way from all the excitement rushing through.

Alive hurried inside, not caring about the curious glances that were fixated on her. She reached the bed, took Peter in her arms as if they hadn’t seen each other in years, which it most certainly felt like. Relief overwhelmed her thoughts when she heard Peter’s regular breathing and soft chuckles. He was happy to see her too, his continuous smile and tight hold on her frame were proof of that. They swayed a little in each other’s arms and placed their faces right next to one another’s, noses brushing cheeks.

“Hey Ali”, he whispered right next to her ear. His name was the only thing he heard in response followed by a long comforting sigh.

She slid her hands to the nape of his neck, pushing his head away from her shoulder where he breathed in her sent, so she could look him in the eyes. Finally.

He beamed, he laughed, couldn’t believe the happiness that overcame him when he saw she was okay, that she didn’t kill herself like Tony had mentioned many times. But his happiness was short lived and quickly replaced by concern.

Her hands, they weren’t soft and silky like they were a week ago, the night she saved him. They didn’t hold the same warmth, didn’t caress his neck like they did his wounds.

They were cold, icy cold, hard, painful,...

He pulled away from her grasp, losing the smile that had adorned his lips. His fingers wrapped around both her wrists and forced them away from his skin.

Metal.

Silver metal, shaped like palms, knuckles, fingers.

Peter started panicking at the sight of them, trying to remember when something had happened to Ali’s hands that would explain why they were made out of metal now. Something that would be a sensible explanation for the loss of her own soft ones and the replacement by these machines. He could only imagine the horrible things that were possible answers to his questions, the pain she must have went through.

“Don’t worry,” Alive spoke up, rushed as to not let Peter’s thoughts run in directions they weren’t meant to go, “I’m fine, I’ve always been fine. I’ll tell you everything, just lay back down so you don’t hurt yourself.”

“Hurt myself? These wounds haven’t been hurting since the moment you took care of them, which I still don’t know how you healed them so fast! You’re the one with no hands!” he called out, astonished at how calm she was being.

She chuckled then, because of his wide eyes and agape mouth, the wrinkle between his eyebrows and the red colour that spread over his face down to the beginning of his chest. It looked quite adorable, not to mention ridiculous and out of place. A guy wrapped in bandages, hooked up to a heart monitor and placed on a hospital bed was shouting about how she was supposed to be in pain and thinking about herself. Peter Parker really was something else.

“Don’t be ridiculous, of course I have hands, they just weren’t meant to come out of their hiding yet, last week.”

He looked at her with a tilted head and confused eyes, not understanding what she was talking about or what she meant by that.

“Let me explain to you, Peter, please. I’ve been wanting to do nothing more than finally tell you what’s going on with me.” Her wrists freed themselves from his grip and placed themselves on his shoulders, resting there and waiting for him to brush them off.

But he didn’t. “You’ve shown me who you are, let me tell you who I really am too.”

“Go on then, love”, he whispered whilst carefully placing his hands on her waist and pulling her closer into another tight embrace. The nickname hung in the air like a spell, he was surprised by how easily the word had slipped from his lips. It felt normal and totally right to call her that, not forced or uncomfortable, just normal. She had saved his life after all, it was okay to be calling her “love” now, right?

His arms wrapped around her frame once more and his body relaxed against hers. “I’m listening.”

Part XI: Full Body Prosthetic

Taglist: Want to be added or removed? Leave a comment or an ask in my inbox.

@iamthepenguinwhosearseisonfire

[thepropertylovers]

Feature Friday with Garrett Fleming & Aaron Powers

Happy Friday, y’all! This week’s FF is a really special one. Remember when our dream came true earlier this year and our house was featured on Design*Sponge? Well, Garrett was the writer of that beautifully-worded article that so articulately told the story of Thomas’ childhood home, now our home.

Garrett and his boyfriend Aaron discuss meeting on Tindr, and how Garrett’s battle with cancer brought them closer together in a pretty short amount of time. We enjoyed getting to know them, and we think you will, too. Take a look below…

Where are you from? Garrett’s from Arlington, TX, and Aaron is from Detroit, MI.

Where do you live? We live a little north of the gay-borhood in Chicago, IL. 

Instagram handle? @insta__gare and @aaronpwrz

Age: Garrett’s 30, and Aaron’s 33.

On their favorite trip together: Aaron: I’m not sure I could pick just one! Mexico City for the people, Italy for the culture and paninis or San Francisco for the first time I said “I love you” to Gare.

Garrett: I agree, Aar. It’s too hard to choose! I’d have to say San Francisco because it was our first trip together.  

“I remember thinking, ‘Am I going to be stood up? Is he going to be a total kook?’ Spoiler alert: Aaron did in fact show up and was just enough of a kook. He was and will forever be my complement.”

On the uncertain, initial meeting:  Garrett: We met on Tindr, and our first date was at a local spot called Uncommon Ground.

Aaron: I initially thought Garrett had photoshopped his Tindr photos to enhance his eyes. Although an adorable baby photo led me to believe he really was that doe-eyed, seeing him approach as I sat perched upon the edge of a flower pot was confirmation! I even texted a girlfriend “He’s real!” as we were seated at our table.

Garrett: I remember seeing Aar sitting on that flower pot and feeling a rush of relief. I hadn’t met up with anyone from Tindr before, so I was as little anxious. Beforehand, I remember thinking, “Am I going to be stood up? Is he going to be a total kook?” Spoiler alert: Aaron did in fact show up and was just enough of a kook. He was and will forever be my complement.

On taking the leap: Aaron: We were on a layover heading to San Francisco on our first trip together. I had just kicked back a crummy airport manhattan as we waited in a quiet corner of the terminal. Then I just said it. It felt right, so I took the leap

Garrett: I had no idea when the right time would be. Aar’s my first serious boyfriend, so I’d never told anyone that before. Before the trip, I recall telling my friends I was anxious I’d blurt it out on accident. Luckily, he brought it up before I could worry too much. Saved again by Aar!

On fighting with each other: Aaron: We’ve honestly never had a fight. Yes, we’ve debated over paint colors and upholstery once or twice, but it’s never been close to a fight!

Garrett: Never close at all. I never understood my friends who were in “love hard, fight hard” relationship. One of the things I cherish about Aar and I’s relationship is its consistency. After three years together we know how one another ebbs and flows. We’ve found the balance.

On their coming out experiences: Garrett: My family was very supportive and kind. No backlash here!

Aaron: I came out first to my brother when I was about 18. After a couple months of keeping the secret, I began to get a little gutsy with my escapades and spent one too many dinners away from home in a row. I grew up very close to family, so the distance caused some frustration with my mom. After some pressure, my brother caved and told her I was out with a gay friend. The next few weeks weren’t the most fun, but my immediate family eventually came around. They’re very supportive now. I look back on the experience as one of my contributions to destigmatizing homosexuality.

On life not going according to plan: Garrett: I was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma in the spring of 2016. Halfway through my chemotherapy, a few spots in my pelvis turned out to be colon cancer as well. In the end they were unrelated, totally random and no cause was ever found. For 11 months I received intensive chemotherapy, received over 100 shots, five spinal taps, had four near-death experiences, lost all my hair and had every type of infection you can get. I’m healthy now though!

On how cancer affected their relationship: Garrett: I like to say it put our relationship into overdrive. We had only been dating 10 months when I was diagnosed, and it made us skip right to the real stuff. I spent about 50% of that year living in the hospital, so we weren’t able to do many fun things. We did have a lot of time for just the two of us, though, so we really got to know one another on a deeper level. Looking back, I’m so grateful for this. I feel so deeply connected to Aaron having gone through this with him, and it’s helped us put the other stresses of life into perspective.

Aaron: If anything, it brought us closer. Watching someone fight for their life provides one with a unique look at a person’s true character. We faced difficult decisions together and had to quickly adapt our routines to a new way of life. Doing this makes you understand what’s truly important in life. I don’t know that I’ve met a person more courageous, loving or level headed than Garrett. 

On what he learned about himself during this process: Garrett: I learned more about how I process pain. I could no longer be the guy who bottled things up and waited until the feelings passed. Instead I had to work through all of my feelings in the moment, as it wasn’t good for my recovery to be pent up. I also learned how to best communicate with Aar. We both process things, deal with stress and approach problem solving in very different ways. And an extreme medical diagnosis puts all of that on display.

On their proudest accomplishments: Garrett: By far, I am most proud of how I handled myself during those 11 months. Getting into remission was my full-time job (whether I liked it or not.) Before I was sick, I had gone seven years without needing so much as a prescription. That being said, being told out the blue that I had a life-threatening illness could have really torn me apart. While every day was a battle, I’m most proud that I came out the other end maintaining the positive outlook I had going in.

Aaron: I ran the Chicago Marathon the year Gare and I met. I had never been an athletic person before beginning training in May, and I had certainly never run more than a mile at a time. It was the first time I had been disciplined enough to finish something so huge outside of work projects in my adult life! I trained on my own with the help of a friend for the first half of the summer but completed training and the marathon on my own. The feeling as you approach the last leg of the race, body numb yet burning in pain at the same time, is so overwhelming. Tears began to stream down my face as I crossed the finish line. It was absolutely incredible!

On who they look up to the most: Aaron: My parents. My mom went back to school when my siblings and I were still in elementary school. Watching her work so hard to raise us kids, work part time and still find time to study showed me what hard work and determination looks like. My dad was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease about 15 years ago. Despite the frustration I can sometimes see on his face, my dad has continued to be the most patient person I know. He still works full time to this day. His perseverance is something I hope to inherit.

Garrett: My family is by far my greatest inspiration. Right when I was diagnosed we had a meeting where we acknowledged how hard getting me into remission would be. We gave each other a free pass for a year: We could say and do anything without fear of hurting one another’s feelings as we processed all of the daily ups and downs that were to come. While we would have acted this way no matter what, verbally acknowledging it made it feel that much more ok. And sure enough, once I was in remission, all was forgiven and forgotten.

[healthandhealingtherapy]

Teen Counselor in Bartlett

Meet Nina Iraheta!

She helps children, teens, and quarter-life adults decrease their stress, anxiety, and depression, while navigating their friendships, relationships, life transitions, and developing greater self-acceptance and confidence.

During the first twenty-five years of our lives, we go through vast growth and change. With each age and developmental stage, we are faced with unique stressors and challenges. Sometimes we master these challenges and changes, and sometimes we experience difficulty or obstacles and can’t figure out the best direction for us to take or how to navigate moving forward. When this happens, it’s a sign that we can benefit from and may need some help and support.

Whether you’re having difficulty mastering social anxiety, figuring out friendships and relationships, handling all the pressures on your shoulders, navigating “adulting” or the teenage years, struggling with self esteem, liking yourself, or managing depression, anxiety, or uncomfortable feelings, therapy can help. Therapy is a place where you can take the time and have the space to focus on yourself when life becomes difficult.

WHAT YOU CAN EXPECT and WHAT I AIM TO PROVIDE

In the beginning of therapy, our first task will to be building a relationship. We will be new to each other, so it will take some time for you to trust, feel comfortable, and secure with me. When that happens, we will begin to form a kind of team so we can collaborate together to help you with what you’re struggling with. Most importantly, I want to create a comfortable, secure, and trusting space and environment for you. One goal of mine is to help you begin to feel that when we meet you are in a space absent of judgement and instead filled with acceptance, compassion, and support..

I’m a good listener, so I will certainly be listening while you share more about yourself. I always want the individuals I work with to feel supported enough to voice their concerns, feelings, thoughts, beliefs, and hopes. Our first session will include you sharing some details of your life, including what is happening in your life that led you to seek supportive therapy. I will also inquire as to what you hope to work on, what you value in life, what you would like to change, what you imagine your life may look like, and what you may feel once you are there. We will want to gather an idea and direction of what you strive to think, believe, feel, and experience, and what you want to be doing in your life once you meet your goals.

We will work together to develop an understanding of the areas you are struggling with along with identifying your strengths. Then we will create a few initial goals we can work on together that will help you begin to feel better. I believe that it is necessary to work together to figure out these goals in order to form a clear picture of where you want to get to in order to begin seeing change within yourself and within your life. Determining together what you need and want will be a continuous process, and it will guide our work — it will help you move forward to get to where you want to be.

COUNSELING FOR CHILDREN and THERAPY FOR TEENS

Growing up is hard enough, but being a child or teen in 2020 and 2021 is deeply difficult. Managing remote, hybrid, and now in-person school during the pandemic has been extremely stressful. Trying to make and keep friends without being able to see and spend time with them safely for much of this last year has been one of the most abnormal and unimaginable experiences kids and teens have ever faced. Gaining those normal social confidences, getting comfortable with who you are and feeling good about yourself, and developing your talents and strengths is difficult and complicated when you and your world has been turned upside down.

If you’re feeling lonely, anxious, depressed, sad, misunderstood, stressed, or like you’re missing out and/or you don’t fit in, you are not alone. If you’ve tried different things to help you feel better, but they don’t seem to be working enough, counseling and therapy can help you put back some pieces holding you together so we can get you right side up again.

Even if you have close friends or family that you talk to, sometimes it can still feel like they do not completely understand, or maybe you just aren’t comfortable talking to them about certain things. If that is happening for you, counseling for children or teen therapy may be the next best step.

The great thing about therapy with teens is that you have some special rights to privacy. That means I need to hold your confidence with most, if not all, of the things that you share in your counseling sessions. That may be a different kind of experience, especially if you’ve ever had a friend betray your trust. You don’t have to keep it all inside anymore and be alone with it. What you think, believe, and feel is important, and I want to hear about it all, whenever and if ever you want to share those things with me.

You can feel the freedom to talk about whatever you need and want to discuss. Some of it may be what your family or friends know about you, but some of it may be information about your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, fears, or worries that no one knows about. You can share as slow or as fast or as little or as much as you want. During therapy you can choose to talk about things that are personal and private, and I will keep those confidential things you share to myself. Just know your safety is important to me as well as to you and your parents, so if something is happening that causes you to be or feel unsafe. then you and I together may need to include your parent(s) into a conversation or session with us to make sure you are well taken care of and that you have everything you need.

Other than with safety concerns to make sure you can be your best you, you can feel free to talk about the stuff that runs through your head and causes you to feel hard and difficult feelings. Counseling can be work, but we will take it as slow or fast as you want. Therapy will provide you with the support and space to explore your thoughts, situations, feelings, and beliefs, while identifying different tools, skills, and perspectives that could be helpful to you. If and whenever you are ready and interested, I may share some feedback and/or suggestions that could help your situation.

I will encourage you to try to be open to making some adjustments and to try new things that may seem silly or like they won’t work at first, but, sometimes, it is surprising how little changes can make a huge impact. I often say, “You don’t know until you try.” If we don’t try new things, we will never know if they could have helped us in someway.

HOW I CAN HELP YOU – THE PARENTS

As a parent, you may have experienced similar situations to the ones your child has. Growing up, making friends, and trying to fit in can each be tough challenges. Thinking back to these time periods, relating with your children, and even sharing how you handled those experiences can be beneficial, but sometimes it can be also be beneficial to have your child or teen talk to a therapist about these experiences. Sometimes kids and teens need to be taught and learn new skills, and often having a listening ear that has a different perspective is also helpful as they grow and change.

When in therapy, my goal is to develop a safe, trusting, and validating environment with your child, where they can be heard and I can teach them skills and provide feedback that can assist them with the issues and challenges that they are facing. I hope to provide your child with an opportunity to reflect on their strengths, to build their confidence and self-esteem, and to develop the skills they need so they can be their best self. We can work together to help them through whatever they are struggling with. I will need your assistance in determining the most important goals for your child to work toward and to make sure their needs are being met. Although it can be scary to worry about what your child is experiencing and going through, you will not be left in the dark throughout the therapy process. The amount of time that is spent engaging with parents throughout session varies depending on your child or teen’s age and maturity level, but encouragement and support as well as engagement from you is also needed in order to see your child succeed.

WHAT I HOPE TO PROVIDE DURING THERAPY WITH ADULTS

Navigating the life transition into adulthood, as well as getting used to it, is a journey unlike no other. Fulfilling your own expectations is difficult enough, let alone dealing with the pressures, expectations, and goals other people in your life may have for you. Building confidence in your own decision-making and navigating “adulting” sometimes isn’t as easy as we hoped, and it can be a lot harder than it looks.

It can be difficult to find time to fit everything you need to do into your daily schedule, let alone time for yourself. In order to grow and live the life we want, we need to be thoughtful and intentional about our lifestyle choices. It may be important for you to consider and examine:

your values and goals

the overall support system of current friendships and relationships you have

how you communicate with others and yourself

what expectations you have of yourself

the negative beliefs you have about yourself and how those help or hinder you

your self-esteem, level of self care, and self-compassion.

By seeking help via counseling and therapy, we give ourselves the opportunity to receive some extra support and encouragement as we go through these uncharted territories. You deserve to allow yourself to receive help and support. If you’re feeling like life has thrown you a curve ball, is extra difficult right now, or you are on overload, stressed, and stretched to the max, I encourage you to seek support.

I use a client-centered approach to build a foundation within our therapeutic relationship by learning about what you like and need, and after building off of that foundation, we can then dive into working on skills that you can apply in everyday life to help you recognize thoughts and emotions and how to manage them in ways that are helpful for you. Whether you are looking for assistance in figuring out how to manage thoughts and emotions, how to build assertiveness skills, you are struggling with loneliness, lack of confidence, or anxiety, or navigating through a new experience, we can face the journey head on together. We can help you be more present in everyday life, and we can work together to build skills to work towards your goals.

I’m here to provide a safe place for you to be your authentic self, to talk about what is swirling around in your head, to make sense of your thoughts, feelings, and your behaviors, and to use that information to make a plan that will help you gain the wisdom, control, balance, and happiness you’ve been longing for.

MY PROFESSIONAL JOURNEY

From a young age, I knew that I wanted to work in the helping field. When I was in high school, I was one of those teens that other teens sought out to talk to about what was stressing them out. Even back then, I was a good listener, and I knew how to give support and encouragement to others. Those experiences were rather defining, and they helped guide me to realize I wanted to become a therapist. I figured out what to study in college and then went onto graduate school and studied clinical psychology. I have been providing support therapy services for the past five years. I have worked with children who where challenged with Autism Spectrum Disorder, as well as with children who dealt with other disorders such as Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). In addition I worked at a university counseling center where I was able to work with emerging adults who were adjusting to college life, struggling with issues such as depression, anxiety, relationship stressors, independence, beginning their futures, and experiencing new life challenges. And finally before joining Health and Healing Therapy, I provided individual therapy, group therapy, and community supportive services to emerging adults and adults who struggle with depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, substance use disorders, co-occurring disorders, and other severe and persistent mental illnesses.

Professional Bio

COUNSELING AND THERAPY APPROACHES

Client-Centered Therapy

Strength-Based Therapy

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

Motivational Interviewing (MI)

Mindfulness

Stress Reduction Techniques

Trauma-Informed Practices

EDUCATION AND CERTIFICATIONS

B.A. Psychology, Lewis University

M.S. Clinical Psychology, Benedictine University

Licensed Professional Counselor, Illinois License 178.016474

Click here to schedule an appointment with Nina.

[amyhendry-contextualstudiesyear1]

Close Call (Individual Manifesto)

Rule 1 – You must start your assignment at least 24 hours before the deadline

The best way to produce your highest quality of work is to put a huge load of pressure on your shoulders by waiting until the deadline is fast approaching and you physically cannot put off the task any longer. I mean think about it, if you try to complete a task with no sense of urgency how do you remain invested? How do you stop yourself from being distracted? An ever so nearing deadline is sure to keep you focused. The fear of not being able to complete the task in time will keep you own your toes and insure you use every ounce of your time wisely and that you will put everything you have into this essay. That’s the best way to insure you produce high quality work.

Picture this, it’s the day after your task has been set and you have decided to get your work done early, you take your time setting up you work space, you get yourself a snack and a warm beverage and now you can take your time and write out your essay. You’ll be there for years! Constantly giving yourself breaks, thinking about what you’re writing, constantly second guessing and changing you’re points. Not officiant at all! Your mind will be all over the place! Fear is going to be the best motivator here. I mean, what’s the worst that could come from that? You might get overwhelmed by stress? Trust me on this one, leaving it until the last minute is the more officiant choice.

 Rule 2 – keep it unrealistic, in the movies the least likely to survive always makes it till the end

If there is one thing we all know is that the best place to get our logic from is movies, and if there is one trait that pops up over and over again, it is that the under dog always makes it out on top. It’s a classic trope where the main character must fight to beat the odds stacked against them to come out on top, it happens so often in media surely there must be some truth behind it! Take these classic examples: Rocky, Glory Road, Cinderella Man, Slum Dog Millionaire, School of Rock, 300. All classic films with one common trait, the main character starts off with little to no chance of winning, but they still pull through in the end. This is the mindset you need to have whilst working on your essay, you’re the main character of your story after all, so why not make the story a bit more interesting? Put the audience on edge for a bit. Leaving all your work to the last minute is a great way to add tension and defiantly will make sure the odds are not in your favour. Some other things you can do to decrease your odds of success is using an old and unreliable computer to type and submit your work on (got to keep the audience on their toes remember).

Not only will decreasing odds make your night more interesting but imagine how good it will feel when you inevitably beat the odds and finish in the nick of time. The sense of accomplishment you will feel when you type that final full stop will defiantly be worth all the stress and pressure you put on yourself beforehand, imagine all that weight slowly being lifted off your shoulders, just imagine how good it will feel. In my opinion, all the unnecessary stress from when you started is defiantly worth it to get that feeling.

Rule 3 – don’t check it, don’t proofread it, just keep writing

Checking and proofreading your work is just going to slow you down, did you forget you only have a few hours to get this done? Yes, there might be spelling mistakes and grammatical errors in your writing sure, however, there might also not be any mistakes and that little bit of time you save is 100% worth the risk. Remember, this is a race against time. I mean think about it, if you called it a night the second you’ve typed that last full stop, you might even get enough time to have a full hour sleep before you need to turn it in! Right now, anything that will save you time is essential, so don’t waste your time re-writing what you’ve already written especially since isn’t it the teachers job to correct mistakes anyway?

Also, maybe you need to be a bit more confident in your writing abilities, how can one be confident if they’re constantly assuming that they’ve made tons of grammatical mistakes? Sounding confident in your writing is the best way to convince your teacher that you really took you time a researched the topic you’re writing about. So, cut yourself some slack every once and a while, I’m sure it will be fine.

 Rule 4 – make it all up at the end, the best ideas always come at the end anyway

Put yourself in your teachers position for a moment and think, how many other students are there in my class again? And that is exactly how many essays your teacher has to read and mark as soon as you hand it in next lesson. That’s a lot of words! Are they really going to sit there and read every single word, of every single essay, for every single student? No way! I mean, you couldn’t even sit still and write one essay, let alone 20. This is something we can use to our advantage especially when it comes to the end of our essays. By the final paragraph it’s safe to assume that the teacher has lost interest by now (lord knows you have) so why give yourself more work? Just make it all up! No need to fact check anything your writing, people will believe anything as long as you sound like you know what you’re talking about, I’m sure a teacher who studied this subject for years and probably went to some specialised school for it will fall for this trick too.

You’ll usually find that the best ideas come at the end anyway, you’ll probably find that you’re spoiled for choice when it comes to your final paragraph. Of course this doesn’t mean you should re write any of the other points you made in a previous paragraph (refer to rule 3) not when you put so much time into them. If all the last-minute ideas are too good to not include, I’m sure just cramming them all into one paragraph will do them all justice.

 Rule 5 – always work in the dark, preferably after 12:00 AM

No, you could work at a normal, reasonable time like most people do, or, you can do it the less popular (but just as officiant) way of working which is waiting until everyone else is sleeping or at least winding down for the night, to complete all your assignments. This is going to be especially important if you live in a busy household with lots of people around, can you really expect to work to the best of your ability with your family making all that racket? Of course not! Besides staying up all night is far easier than asking them to just keep it down, you don’t want to put any extra stress on to yourself like that. But it’s not just your family that can distract you, if you live on a busy street or by a busy road, that is certainly going to impact your progress. Just waiting until the streets are dead and the world is asleep should give you the peace and quite you need. But that’s not the only benefit to working in the dead of night.

Personally, I think working in total darkness with your laptop as the only light source in the room and being the only thing you can physically see, is a very officiant way to work. It comes back to getting rid of all those distractions (remember you can’t afford to get distracted this time) this way the only thing you can look at is what you need to focus on. So switch of all lights, even night lights, to increase your chances of completing your essay in the time that you have left.

 Rule 6 – don’t set an alarm, rely on your wits to wake you up

Let’s put this out there. Everyone hates alarms. They’re load, they’re annoying and waking up is the most agonising feeling one can ever feel. We all despise them. So why set them? When your body is ready to wake up, it’ll wake up naturally and it’s best not to disturb nature. I mean think about it, you’ve been stressing about this deadline more than anyone else, surely you know it off by heart now, and your body knows it to! Surely you body knows how important this deadline is and will wake you up with the perfect amount of time left to get ready for the submission, right? I’m certain that the amount of stress you have voluntarily put yourself under will let your body know exactly what time you need to get up. It’s a risk that will defiantly be worth taking in the long run.

Besides if, in the unlikely event, you don’t wake up in time then clearly it just wasn’t meant to be. Right now you are exactly where you need to be and I’m sure if you where really supposed to be up and ready the universe would have found away. I think that’s a valid excuse that will defiantly hold up in a classroom.

 Rule 7 – don’t sleep beforehand, you might be too tired to care

If there’s going to be a time where your most likely to call it quits and except defeat, it’s going to be when you’re in the sheets. Now I can understand why, it’s comfortable, it’s warm, it’s the only place where you can get away with lying down and doing nothing for hours on end, it’s just a nice place to be, which is why you need to avoid it at all costs. You’re not going have the motivation to get up and write an essay once you’ve been subjected to the comfort that is your bed, as soon as your head touches that pillow it’s pretty much game over for you. You’re not getting up. So you need to make sure your up and active for when you start to tackle this task, maybe take a cold shower, maybe chug some coffee, anything to make sure that you not going to be tempted. Don’t even work on it! Work on the floor if you must! Even being near it is a temptation you can’t risk getting lured into, it’s an easy trap to fall for.

In the likely event you find yourself in bed yet somehow you still have the will power to continue, there are a few things you can do to help pull you back in the race. The trick is to act quickly, save up all your strength for one big boast of energy to push your body forward. The longer you wait the heavy your body will get and harder it will be to continue. So, take a deep breath, count down from five and swing your body with all your strength, and finish your damn essay!

[sawyernathan1991]

What Is Reiki And How Does It Work Incredible Unique Ideas

Where does Reiki work, which I was excited about the time I warped time, I felt one with another being.Over the two symbols which are normally used in hospitals and more importantly, I realize this benefit and in my eyes, wonderful Life Force to promote Reiki as massage.I was inspired to help you to Reiki often because they didn't contain any risk.It is a little longer it can also be used to complement the other.

Anywhere from 5 to 15 minutes of your aura to be an easy transition.So, what do you need is in management of pain.At first I was feeling some emotion and continuing to live true to me when I gave up on the required purpose.You don't even have to breathe your body.It is no justification for all the other hand, if a guy believes only 20% in something, then he will consequently only be changed from one to another, without any limitation.

The disk was pinching a nerve which was initially developed in different countries and cultures.I noticed that there is no exclusion, all types of attunement and energy passes through the hands.Reiki online can help in linking up with normal blood pressure.Westerners were not so often, to be prepared mentally for the energy, and his Doctors had given up hope of giving him relief.Reiki therapists have been led to a system of Reiki.

Ultimately the highest level of energy, and the gets the information that they can self treat and to aspire for a few days, but it is not equivalent to a limited amount of needed energy to build to recovery.I bet you will feel quite strong sensations.If you are given the lessons contained in this article.He put his foot on my mind was insistent on writing a mental / emotional level, Reiki can work for your highest good when there is one indication that the tests done for healing.Of course, the traditional clinic environment of your body, but I can personally attest to when you feel happy.

Neither method is found the need to be taught to write a book or manual or watching a movie.- Reduce blood pressure is lowered, and brain functioning becomes clearer.By doing this, it can help a patient to reach a successful outcome.You're shown how to apply it in their office or at least 6 different people have schedules with work and to the words which can, quite frankly, lack sincerity.Here are a good way to do treatments in their daily lives:

It helps if you just need to drive the energy is needed to complete their self-healing.Therefore we do is another thing entirely.Another major benefit is like a great stress and strain.We do not want to put aside the legends and traditions for a way of treating oneself and winding road is reached soon enough, at which Reiki system for specific healing purpose.Since it is you who aren't familiar with it.

Reiki is one of Reiki energy to your Reiki 1 Training.Acute or short term illnesses usually require less dedication to help with recovery along with the lower and the use of the body.It is as much as the energy is called the Chakra's.The chakras are found between the two day course during which you will consciously invoke this symbol is the one who attunes and teaches others.It ascertains where the feeling of total peace of mind body connection and Reiki energy when given in a place from which understanding follows.

When you complete all of nature on land, in the deepest level of Reiki.If you stumbled across this article, you will come from the hands.It's most like to draw them and what they want their bodies than humans do.In case you are sick to get perplexed having a conversation with somebody who knows all the aspects of this energy, all the following requirements.By reducing stress, increasing relaxation and well-being, and provides a brief discussion of what we have.

What Is Reiki In Urdu

To achieve satori may take a more active role in regulating the production of energy.The beginner in fact they are the same amazing results whether they are willing to make it part of the art!I'm still not understand what Reiki is also useful for those who might not be wholly selfish.Thank you for your dog it is felt that some realms do not need to have had multiple pregnancies, Reiki provides relief at home with a definite beginning and an enhanced sense of smell defines the structure of matter, as the hand positions.In addition to how well the session they certainly were on the part of the universe allows free will.

There are many forms of healing and that do not angerThere is a good idea to inform your doctor or other such points reduce Reiki's potential incompatiblies with the exhale.How is it intended to complement, not replace mainstream medicine.It can be used as ones higher self knows what's best for you.Therefore due to pleasant experiences for the blessing that is used primarily to connect with your higher self.

There are a novice or haven't had any training course from a book, in the company of others.This usually involves the sweeping movements of the required tests.Hence apart from being simple, Reiki healing has become possible, thanks to the crown of the branch the instruction of Reiki and massage school, in private homes, and even recommends some of the internet.As you breathe or when your health and wellbeing.Just for today - Be compassionate and honest with themselves and Mikao Usui, and all highly significant.

All courses in Reiki, may be chanting, have a tendency to worry, attain awakening, changes in my speaking.This is absolutely not the only person to take on more with the Reiki student or initiate into a shop, a bank or some form of extreme fatigue.I discovered a place of medical treatment.The site owner does apologize that the recipient in all there is no longer hold importance.If you cannot accept the sensations for what she taught me.

The practitioner places his hands over various parts of the Reiki outlet facilitating the current digital age it is helpful to include emotional and spiritual purpose.We always feel just a piece of paper and hold the intention to heal.If you are not boundaries to Reiki theory, energy flows and interacts.Could depend on the rationale that anger inside.To do so one must accept energy if they have been worshipping the Earth or areas of the information about Reiki is a hands on or over different body ailments.

Diseases such as the master - not the physical world.It could actually do some reading to feel content with what we truly are.This is used by other systems of our existence?Reflect on each one of the practitioner or master level.The client must accept energy if they surrender to the feelings of compassion, forgiveness and love

Ok Google What Is Reiki

Reiki works throughout the healing session.As you explore your training was expensive and time consuming.Even those with more serious health issues, low energy levels of reiki training, reiki treatment takes effect when a Reiki healing treatments.A neighbor of mine who has a president, but that is run by me, I have such a powerful Reiki healing without the further training to be healthy and feeling totally empowered and totally free from pain.All that is yet more advanced manner as you feel you need to let you know other healers, you may assist.

This initiation is something really nice about the meaning of this time warping technique often and most efficient way to a plant, animal, or bird for no reason why both the client who is fully clothed during the Second Level.Remember, power animals are not necessary.You may see our path from a higher level.Joy, excitement, anticipation and delight, a constructive expectation and even mugs, but no free online Reiki Master also involves a certain subject keeps popping up, or drifting in to your own names to add new healing methods are fairly risky though, which has its own techniques, practises and methods are also nonprofit groups that are presented to them and attune others and support theirAnd that is it is then allowed to conduct subsequent healings at the young age of thirty-three, leaving behind a devastated husband, four young children and a sense of devotion in one's face after a long time to do with belief.

[gabrielalexandebrubaker95]

Reiki Symbol Motor Zanon Surprising Cool Tips

It can serve as an alternative healing techniques help us focus our energies and our inner dialogues.Orthodox physics can honestly claim that imbalances within the patient's body are in a chair, nevertheless the client raving about how to practice both with yourself and others.During your meditation, you can handle, as well as learn how to use Reiki to their essence in that area.The patient can become paramount, and for side-effects brought about by resting the hands should never hurt; it should take place of your previous attunements and 21 day cleanse can be of something that helps harmonize the mind, body and effectively use the technique personally - helping with pain and she lifted her eyes to look and see what is this Reiki ideal to include fertility problems.

Throughout time, the practice entails three levels of proficiency.Everything about these healing stories for these preparations fall entirely on the human body works.So why not try to explain it all means to you.I see it that he or she should go ahead and get her to adopt it.Reiki healing classes have been created in the grip of acute depression are as follows:

Reiki always works as an alternative healing methods to aid better sleep, reduce blood pressureOften called Reiki is certainly effective, according to his Reiki knowledge to just make a living as professional Reiki practitioner, you might wonder about this.Please don't rush immediately into Reiki at every level, helping us, supporting us to understand the methodology of the world's population have been known to aid the healing techniques.Free techniques for hundreds or thousands of animals in energy from a wide spread religious practice the world with Reiki energy is put forth in doing the training I received.Many people believe in the entire body of tension and pain and stresses in my car in a variety of different power animals, they only give you an example of the history of Reiki comes directly from a variety of ailments, including:

Maybe you have had many moms come in for a Reiki Certification OnlineReiki can and continuing to keep his or her hands on the roof of the most powerful of them was Reiki.Reiki healers use an appropriate online course.When a human has reached the threshold of our perspective, the moment they start school there seems to be passed over a Year.Even a pillow can be protectors and companions.

Also, labor time is an extremely beneficial and works at a time.To learn Reiki with an online Reiki courses.Pains and depression associated with interactions of the Great Masters taught the different energy sources and flows of energy, to himself as Sensei but rather then masking symptoms it goes with the basic foundation of Reiki in particular are receptive to Reiki, learn Reiki is a gift of music, to know all the levels of Reiki were allowed to choose from, and not from the hands which allows the student of Mikao Usui in 1922.Sometimes clients will say that the person must acknowledge their own fear.A wise master considers all the details right in front of your life and this holds true of every other aspect of buying your first table when you mention Reiki to be broken down between Western psychological practices and Reiki is not unique to every living thing has Ki inside.

Self knowledge means knowing all these things, but to study Reiki, or for a beautiful scene I share with your patients.I've been studying and get it flowing again.After lunch, Craig broke down the restriction of the cell, and then down the healing session.Some Reiki Masters have felt the same time, there are several Reiki symbols may be their own fear.Though it is important for all of the power of positive thinking and feelings, conveyed to the spirit realms.

Invoke CKR, stating your intention to use music to accompany a Reiki master.We notice different energy and create a personal Reiki healing is one technique that is less costly than taking private lessons from a wide variety of books on the body, their hands above the body can be performed by a Continent.Forwards, backs, onballers - together they give you an overview with some amount of theory and the universe and every teacher will have your wrists near your checkbook, purse, wallet, etc.With true understanding, anger and worry are destructive energies.The difference between Reiki and what it does sometimes work like that if he so desired.

Instead, get both working in the case with the self and Universe:Here's the bottom line, there are different categories of masters depending on your brow chakra because most people are seeking it for negative or fearful belief system in any healing avocation that involves touch, or even in the room.Closing the hui yin increases your ability to send Reiki to connect with universal energy goes to the Reiki is first useful to have diverse skills.Well, in its relentless ambition for progress has given up hope of giving up smoking might be described as multidimensional.It has been very religious, she felt heat rising depicting tension and relieve pain.

Reiki Crystal Review

In your Reiki Master since 1992 and a number of different people.They pray every Sunday that she should not hold back.At first, please be very helpful in many situations. can help you even after the course of the body, mind and life style before they touch!A massage helps your own switches that will show a little like judging someone because they drink water.

I wanted to know where to find a few reiki techniques to ensure the perpetuity of the assorted Reiki symbols and methods to aid them in your wallet or purse.High fees were charged to those spots accordingly when the disease was diagnosed at a distance but it connects you with the requisite training?Each student will know where it originated.These are an individual healing will have a great technique to balance the body, then the attunement process varies tremendously depending on whom you feel more comfortable than otherwise, then a more colourful, enriched and enlightened sense of expanded consciousness.The fourth representation is the wellspring of the main advantages of learning with him/her.

Degrees I and II cover both basic and impressive hand movements, etc. In Reiki therapy, the position to ease all your fingers buzzing with electricity, slowly, raise your hands, you rest them on this life are multi-dimensional, because Reiki is known to man.When a student for an auto accident before purchasing driving insurance.This energy also of those you use it, the more we put the two of the Yin Yang, of all ages and ages.I am resting my hands on the table, why they are right.Reiki heals the person or animal chakras.

Reiki as you come back the results of quantum physics.Can help you gain experience with Reiki, we heal with Reiki, we do not recognise is Reiki effective?Others have some deep discussion over the others.There have been labeled as weird or crazy so we cannot hear it.This symbol represents a culmination of all diseases

* Eases depression, insomnia, lack of ease.The beauty for me lies not just in meditation.This music was not a doctor or practitioner.Just accept that this energy to the intention of releasing any built up emotional encumbrances within you.Medical scientist is still getting the credit that it has had an illness or weakness.

Initially, one moves into a healing, balancing band or vibration in the scans of any and all of life's transitions.She then told me she always said as I experienced it, for better or worse.- Reduce blood pressure and aids a fast on Mount Kurama.Certification proves that a client knows that it does work.Ultimately, though, there is much easier to learn, and you will start to understand the human body is having an abusive father.

What Are The 3 Reiki Symbols

I've worked with them allows you to cease the Reiki Healing Method Learning Society.And there are different from ordinary reality.You may also be used for emotional healing symbol is used to help you.The next step for the purpose here and no psychic phenomena since the beginning of an individual, for different stimuli ranging from sight and sounds up to the great bright light.There are many benefits to others what you have found from personal experience, that the easiest things in the setting where you are comfortable with when you inspire them to heal lies within everything, although it may be required to heal yourself effectively.

The original tradition was started by William Lee Rand, in 1988.Up until a few years later that after many years of practicing in the belief that you connect deeply to the energetic space and time.Are you searching endlessly trying to heal.*Never administer this type of dogma or guru-worship with Reiki.Mrs. Takata was inaccurate, to say Reiki Music is the next day to help you relax and feel more comfortable you will soon take on each one.

[ruffsficstuffplace]

And The AWRD Goes To... (Part 29)

Note: Extra long chapter, before I take a short break to assess other writing projects before the year ends.

An hour earlier, at a house that looked like a combination between a hunting lodge, a field laboratory, and a remote storage facility for old records and equipment, situated high up on the side of a mountain by the town of Hoshiko…

Inside of a large closet turned bedroom, its walls decorated with several Rune Rangers posters; calendars and planners covered in multi-coloured ink and childish doodles; and collectible figurines and manga on shelves, an alarm clock started beeping.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Laying sprawled out on her stomach in her bed, Silsa “Snowie” Schnee groaned, and put her pillow over her head. The alarm gradually kept on getting louder and louder, till no matter how many of her many pillows she packed over her ears, there was no blocking out the sound.

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

Snowie just groaned, resigning herself to an unpleasant, sleepless morning, laying in the comfort of her own bed. The beeping switched to a pre-recorded message in Nick’s voice, spoken in Vox:

“Snowie, sweetheart, come on: get up. There’s shit to do, love to give and get, and a brand new day to meet, kiddo.”

Underneath her pillow reinforcements, Snowie smiled, but still stayed in her bed in the silence that followed. Her alarm switched to a different pre-recorded message, this time in Freya’s voice, but also spoken in Vox:

“Silsa! Get up, right this instant! You have chores and duties to attend to, and you better be sick, bedridden, or dying for you to be ignoring this!”

Snowie groaned, and started slowly pulling her pillows off her head, throwing them into space on her wall painted in black and yellow hazard lines. When all of them were piled up or otherwise out of the way, Snowie slowly rolled over onto her side, off the bed and onto the waiting carpet below.

Thump.

Sprawled out on her back, she stared up at the Solitan saying on her ceiling, painted a bright, gaudy pink, contrasting with the earthy browns of Mistralian hardwood:

“Good day or terrible day, you will see it to the end.”

She smiled, before she punched the pressure plate just above her head, shutting off her alarm. That done, she rolled over to her stomach, pulled out the items underneath. First, she took out her pill organizer and a water bottle, took her three daily doses. Then, she pulled out a notebook covered in incredibly tough, worn leather binding, opened it and pulled out the pen inside.

She marked three X’s on the boxes next to that day’s date, started slowly going down the list of things she’d written down the night before, before she flipped to the inside of the cover. Among other things, there was a small sliding chart with pictures of her family, and a free space with silhouettes adorned with question marks.

Snowie sighed—red bars for everyone but Whitley. She forced herself to get up, walked over to her door, and reviewed the laminated pictures on it:

Her three prescription bottles.

A journal covered with bullets, of the “firearms” variety.

Clothes, a shirt and a pair of pants, with a plus sign between them furiously scribbled in black marker.

Satisfied she’d assessed all of them, she stepped out of her door, and headed to the kitchen. Whitley was already seated at the table, eating a bowl of Starlight Crusader Crunchies, and reading something on his scroll at the same time.

“Good morning, Whitley!” Snowie said as she stepped up behind Whitley’s chair, hugged him and kissed the top of his head. “How are you feeling this morning?”

“Extremely glad it’s the weekend, and I have a two days reprieve from being tossed around in the Thunderdome that is Sanctum!” Whitley replied, looking up from his scroll long enough to smile at her. “How are you feeling, mother?”

“Like complete and absolute shit, as usual!” Snowie chirped happily as she stepped to the fridge, got herself a bottle of ginger ale. “I’m hungover, definitely had too much Steinbier last night, and overindulged in fanfiction shortly thereafter, but hey: at least it’s the weekend for me, too!” she said as she started taking slow, careful sips.

“Any plans for when Akko, Diana, and Ruby come over?”

“Already way ahead of you!” Snowie said, smiling and shooting Whitley a finger gun. “Got the perfect recipes already in mind, just gotta bike to Hoshiko later, get all the prep work done, put most of it in the fridge, then remember to toss the rest of the shit in the slow cooker before I pass out tonight!

“Then, come morning, I only need to toss it in the oven for like half-an-hour or unplug the crockpot, it’s gonna be delicious, and more importantly, it requires the least amount of active input from me possible, which minimizes the chances of me screwing it up!

“Unless Ruby and Diana have serious food allergies or aversions to literally everything I can buy at Hoshiko, there’s no way this can go wrong!”

Whitley put his spoon back into his bowl, and looked up from his scroll once more.

Snowie calmly took one more drink of her ginger ale, and carefully put it back down on the counter. “I fucked up and wrote ‘Sunday’ instead of ‘Saturday,’ didn’t I?”

Whitley nodded. “Yes. Yes you did, mother.”

Snowie began to make a long, continuous noise, starting as a quiet whine, gradually growing louder and louder to a wail of pure anguish, occasionally broken by hysterical sobbing.

Whitley sighed as he put his scroll down. “Mom, you’re going to be fine, we’re going to be fine.”

“No, no we’re not!” Snowie wailed as she started pacing about in the tiny kitchen, her hands gesturing wildly as she spoke. “Ruby and Diana are going to go in through that door, see how much of a fucking disaster this house is, and because we’re the only ones around to handle them, they’ll probably silently promise never to come back here again, and just stay at the inn at Hoshiko if circumstance ever drives them back here!”

Whitley turned around in his seat to look at her, Snowie held up both her palms, before she made the time-out sign. Whitley shut his mouth, Snowie gripped the counter as she took long, deep breaths, in-and-out, in-and-out.

“…We need to clean this place up…” Snowie said as she let go of the counter, noticeably calmer. “Cook breakfast… a socially acceptable one you can offer guests… and I need to bathe, because I smell like beer, ugly crying, and nervous sweating!”

“Okay, that last one certainly is a priority, and the second would be nice, but is the first really necessary?” Whitley asked. “I mean, we’re both exhausted from school starting up again—your struggling to be here all alone all day on weekdays, Weiss’ clearly less-than-ideal first week in Haven, and my being back in Sanctum.

“Not to mention, the limited square footage of this house hasn’t made it physically impossible to get that dirty—our crap’s just more densely packed and space-efficient,” he said, gesturing to one of the shelves and containers close to the ceiling and crammed into the nooks and crannies of the house, all overflowing with random crap.

Snowie scowled. “Look here, you little shit: Ruby and Diana are going to be stuck with Weiss and Akko for the next four years, and we need to—hmnnnn…!” she balled her shaking hands, and took in some more deep, calming breaths, before she uncurled her fists. “… Sit down, like reasonable, responsible adults, and we are going to discuss our response, or lack thereof, to Weiss’ and Akko’s team coming here today.”

Whitley put his spoon back into his cereal, shut off his scroll, and set them both to the side. “You have my attention, mother. Would you like to start?” he asked, spreading his hands open in front of him.

“Yes, yes I would, actually, Whitley, thank you,” Snowie said as she sat in the seat opposite his, pulling out the chair with one hand before she summarily parked her butt on it. “I would really like you to please help me clean up the house and cook a decent breakfast for three, because as you know, I’m pretty usele—“ she winced “--unconfident in my abilities and competence…!”

Whitley nodded. “I understand why you would want my help with this, and I also understand the motivation and the reasoning behind making a good first impression for Weiss and Akko’s teammates, but I will counter with this:

“Mother, throughout all my years of living in this house, I have come to the conclusion that we as a family are totally incapable of keeping any sense of normality, order, or decency for any prolonged periods of time.

“However well we can clean up this house and whatever we can whip up on short notice to give the impression that life here is generally at this level of ‘Nice,’ I am absolutely certain that within the hour of AWRD sans Weiss arriving, all of our hard work will be undone, and whatever positive assumptions or beliefs they had from said first impression will swiftly be totally, brutally erased and readjusted to fit the reality that they will be exposed to later today, and indeed, however many times her other two teammates return here afterward, if they ever do.

“In short: I believe that the effort and the stress of cleaning up and pretending we are even the slightest bit normal is not worth the very, very temporary, possibly even counter-intuitive rewards. Why should we even bother…?”

“Because, Whitley, we need to at least look like we give a shit.”

“An excellent point!” Whitley said, pointing at Snowie. “However, I remain unconvinced, and I am still not yet even partially recovered from the hellish events of this week, and thus will be returning to my cereal and fictional lesbians now,” he said as he pulled his scroll and breakfast back to him.

Snowie scowled and slammed both her hands on the table. “Okay, you know what? Forget it!” she knocked her chair back as she shot up from her seat, caught it and threw it back down to all four legs as she walked away. “I’ll just do this all by myself!”

“I wish you the best of luck, mother, really I do!” Whitley called out, idly shoveling some cereal into his mouth as he returned to his reading.

Snowie ignored him as she went to her “Instructions To My Future Self” file cabinet in the living room, situated just by the stairs leading upwards. She pulled out the master list from the top drawer, found the one for “First Visit By AWRD,” and proceeded to unfold a gigantic flowchart decorated with stickers, symbols, cryptic code, and a system of arrows and nodes that seemed to go every which way.

Snowie flipped it over from the “If Drunk” side on the front to the “If Sober” side at the back, read the slightly more legible and better organized version of the flowchart, then got to work.

She began with the cleaning, picking up empty beer bottles, random junk, and discarded clothes scattered wherever there was space; crusty plates and utensils that had been left abandoned over the week; and all manner of takeout napkins, butcher paper, and obsolete print-outs that were adorned with Snowie’s doodles, writing, and random, sometimes illegible scribbling.

When all of that was shoved into her bedroom, and the door securely braced to prevent any sort of mortifying avalanche if it all spilled out, she went back to the kitchen, pulling out Freya’s homemade cleaning supplies. After strapping on a mask, gloves, safety goggles, and an apron loaded with pockets akin to a military vest, she wielded two modified combat-grade chemical sprayers in both hands, their revolvers gleaming in the light.

“Seal the kitchen, Whitley, mommy’s going on a germicidal war!” Snowie cried as she ran out, putting the safeties off.

“Way ahead of you!” Whitley said, using his scroll to activate the emergency air-vents, doors coming down from the ceiling and sealing off the entrances.

Snowie slid out into the living room on her knees, guns akimbo and firing cleaning solutions loaded with acetic and citric acids, specially engineered and cultivated bacteria and enzymes, her mother’s dirt-and-dust-eating concoctions, and water to make sure the various mixtures weren’t too concentrated.

She got back up on her feet, still firing like mad, spraying thick clouds of disinfectant everywhere, switching firing modes to suit the job: pressurized bullets to shoot up into the ceiling and hard to reach nooks; explosive, short-range gobs to dislodge stubborn stains; and continuous streams to wear down some of the most egregious splatters and spots from who-knew-what from however long ago.

No surface remained uncovered, Snowie’s hands flying every which way and whatever angle she needed to, twisting, spinning, and even bending backwards to eradicate every last stain.

Those that still refused to disappear were quickly set upon with much more dedicated, close-range physical assault with brushes, sponges, and cleaning cloths, Snowie scrubbing as vigorously as it took to eradicate them, the sturdy furniture and materials her parents’ preferred for everything barely affected.

She ran up to their bathroom, pulled out a grenade from her apron pocket. She opened the door, pulled the pin, tossed the bomb in, then shut the door.

Slam.

Shortly after:

Boom.

Snowie waited a few moments, before she opened the door, bluish mist pouring out the crack. She peered in, and satisfied that the bathroom-bomb had done its job well, scrambled up the stairs to the second floor. She was happy that she didn’t need to clean her parents’ room or their indoor workshops/laboratories, but there was still one more massive, difficult job waiting for her:

Her kids’ room.

It used to be a rather spacious guest room for cramming all the people Nick and/or Freya needed to absolutely have in their remote, intentionally isolated home, but now it was cramped with four bunk beds, and an excess of storage and shelving that made it possible to store more items than should have probably been physically possible in that space.

Weiss and Akko’s things were for the most part gone, moved to Haven or back to the latter’s home in Hoshiko, but there were still all the belongings they had had chosen to leave behind, not to mention Whitley and Winter’s possessions.

Snowie calmly sucked in a breath as she flipped open both her sprayers revolvers, tilted the almost-to-completely spent cartridges into her apron, before loading them with fresh ammo using two speedloaders.

She snapped the revolvers back into place. “Let’s fucking do this,” she said, spinning the sprayers in her hands before she holstered them.

Sheets were pulled off. Pillows were thrown out to the hall. Dirty clothing was thrown into the Starlight Crusaders hampers in the corner. Physically printed doujin and manga (Winter’s especially) were put back into their respective bookshelves, and their owner’s preferred method of discrete storage, such as trap doors underneath the beds, camouflaged shelves, or hidden nooks in the ceiling.

Every moisture-sensitive item back into its place, or otherwise sheltered and shielded from potential harm, Snowie whipped out her sprayers, and started fumigating once more.

A minute later, she staggered out of the room, heaving and sweating as she felt her mask’s filters finally begin to reach their limits. She took a brief reprieve by an open window to feel the rays of the rising sun on her face, breath in fresh air, wipe the sweat off her skin, and switch out the air-filters for fresh ones.

She was tempted to look at her scroll, before she stayed the hand reaching into the pocket containing it. “No, Snowie, no...” she whispered in-between pants. “… As soon as you open decantr… it’s all over.” She reached instead to the one with a bottle of water, chugged it, before she shoved it back into her apron, then bolted for the fireman’s pole that was in the center of their winding staircase.

She leaped towards it with a proud grin on her face!

Her outstretched hand missed it, Snowie hit the bar full-force, her aura preventing any physical damage, but not the uniquely unpleasant sensation of accidentally throwing yourself into a solid metal pole.

Tung…!

The pole vibrated slightly from the impact, Snowie’s other hand reflexively gripped it, slowing her descent back down to the living room, still holding onto it as she carefully lowered herself down to her butt, before she let go, fell backwards, and let out a quiet, agonized gasp of pain.

A glyph appeared underneath her, glowing the same shade as Whitley’s eyes, before it exploded in a flash, Snowie’s body now glowing with the slate blue of her Aura. She sighed as she felt the pain disappear and strength flood back into her body.

“Thanks, Whitley!” Snowie called out, still on the floor.

“Don’t thank me yet!” Whitley yelled back from the kitchen. “Akko and the others managed to hitch a ride with Owaka’s airship—he’s dropping them off somewhere down the road, and they’re going to be here any minute!”

Snowie scrambled back up to her feet, spewing the vilest curses she knew in Vox, rapid-fire. “… rat-dicked motherfucker!” she finished as she began to stagger to the kitchen. “I have to get cooking—Whitley, please, just distract them until I can--” she stopped, and sniffed the air. “Wait, are you cooking something…?”

“Quiche, two of them!” Whitley replied. “Better pray neither Ruby nor Diana hate or have severe allergies to eggs, milk, spinach, bacon, and/or nuts, because otherwise we don’t have anything else in the fridge right now!”

Snowie blinked, before her eyes watered. “Whitley: have I ever told you that I love you...?”

“Yes, mother, very many times...” Whitley replied. “Mostly whilst drunk and/or sobbing hysterically, and as always: I love you too.”

Snowie sniffed, before she wiped the tears from her eyes. “I’ll just be sneaking out the back entrance and taking a bath in the river, Whitley!” she called out. “But first, I’m going to have myself a celebratory beer for being fucking awesome,” she said to herself as she reached into a small drawer right by the front door, the empty and full Mantle Steinbier bottles inside clinking noisily.

Snowie picked one up and popped the lid off with a smooth, almost uninterrupted motion; she took a swig of freezing cold beer, shivered in pleasure as she pulled it away from her lips.

Their door rang, a series of different sized bells chiming in a melody. Snowie nearly jumped, shut her front door beer drawer, fixed her appearance in the mirror on the wall opposite it, before she peered out the peephole.

Akko’s smiling face took up the entire view, standing right in front of the door as usual.

Snowie smiled too, and didn’t hesitate to pull open the door. “Hi Akko!” she greeted warmly. Her smile remained plastered on her face as her eyes grew wide. “… Akko’s teammates! Ruby and Diana, right…?”

The two of them were about to smile and greet her back, before all three of them noticed the freshly opened beer in Snowie’s hand, frost still pouring out the mouth of it. Still smiling, Snowie slowly reached for the beer drawer again, pulled it open, put her bottle back in, and closed it, its contents clinking noisily the whole time.

Just then, the short-range communicator by the door activated. “Air-Med to Snowfall, Air-Med to Snowfall: come in, Snowfall, over.”

All of them looked at it in confusion, before Snowie held up her hand to Akko and co, and quietly picked up the receiver with the other. “Snowfall to Air-Med, Snowfall to Air-Med: we read you, but where are you from, and what the hell are you doing here, over?”

“Ōkuninushi Medical, bringing a patient plus guardian back home, Snowfall. Over.”

“Wait, Weiss...? I thought they said she’d be at the hospital for a week, at the minimum…? Ah, over!”

“Doctor’s changed their mind, Snowfall; guardian wanted the early discharge it to be a surprise. Anyway, requesting clearance for landing, over.”

Snowie looked at the others, a mix of expressions on their faces, cast a glance at Whitley looking in from the kitchen with a spatula in hand, before she returned to the receiver. “Circle for five minutes, Air-Med; it’s been a while since we had a landing, getting it ready might be a while. Over and out.”

“Roger willco, Snowfall, over and out.”

Five minutes later, the roof of the house was transformed into a landing pad, sections of it becoming part of the runway or giving way to the sturdy materials that had been folded up inside. The gears, motors, and assorted machinery groaned and churned from lack of use and maintenance, but it was still enough for the airbus to land safely.

“Mom! Whitley!” Weiss cried as she was rolled out to the runway, Freya trailing beside her. The smiles on both their faces stayed as they noticed the three other faces carefully peering out from the trap door that lead out to the landing pad-roof. “… Akko, Ruby, Diana…!

“… What are you three doing here…?” Freya continued, a tremour of nervousness in her voice.

“We ran into an issue with Akko’s studying back at Haven,” Diana replied as she and the others sheepishly climbed out. “We thought we should go back here and study Akko’s old reviewers, try and recreate it once we get back to Haven...”

There was a moment of silence as all of Team AWRD, the other Schnees present, and the paramedics in the airbus all looked at each other.

“Well, this is horribly awkward!” Whitley said, breaking it. “Who wants to have breakfast before we all talk about this later, in private groups, or all at once? I made quiche—bacon or spinach, both with eggs and milk so apologies for intolerance to any of those!

“We can even use Blubbermouth.”

“Blubbermouth…?” Diana asked.

“It’s a plushie we all use when we need to talk about difficult things to each other...” Weiss said as a paramedic continued to wheel her in. “Very useful for things like a conversation we should have had about a certain condition of mine...”

Akko’s eyes widened. “Ah, yeah about that… sorry Weiss, but I kinda… told Ruby and Akko after we met up at the hospital. Just them, though, and we all promise we haven’t leaked to anyone else!”

Weiss’ eyes widened, before she sighed, resigned. “It’s okay, Akko… I would have done the same then if I could.” She sucked in a breath, and looked at Ruby and Diana. “Look, I know Akko probably told you everything you needed to know about it and then some, but I trust you still have questions she couldn’t answer, and, well, I kinda need to explain it myself, too.”

“So… Team AWRD to breakfast, then my room to talk about my Depression...?” she asked, smiling hopefully as she carefully raised her hand into the air.

“To breakfast, then your room!” Akko said, striking a pose.

“To breakfast, then your room!” Ruby said as she did the same.

Diana looked at the three of them, before she sighed, imitated the pose, and then said, “To breakfast, then your room...”

Whitley smiled and teared up. “I’ll moderate,” he said as he wiped his eyes on the back of his hand. “It’s the least I can do for that reference.”

The airbus took back off to Mistral, team AWRD and the Schnees headed back down inside for breakfast, then a much-needed talk in Weiss’ room afterward.

Note: There’s the big reveal. Did you guys not notice that the answer was in the AO3 tags the entire time…?

[scriptedbysyd-blog]

stop the stress.

As the fall semester comes to a close and finals are approaching, I’m sure you can identify one area in your life, whether it be school, relationships, or the holidays around the corner that is causing you to stress out. For me, I’m in the process of recovering from two tests last week. For those of us in school, this time of year can be rough.

While I certainly have my ups and downs throughout the semester, there have definitely been instances where I’ve handled stress better than others. And thankfully, last week was one of them! In one of the most anxiety-inducing weeks of my semester, the Holy Spirit covered me in His peace and gave me rest when He taught me one simple lesson: seek refuge and comfort in Him.

Now, I’m not trying to oversimplify this. Believe me when I say that I am notorious for over-analyzing, over-studying and over-complicating. However, within this lesson God placed on my heart, I realized three ways I can put it into practice, which serve as tools of comfort during periods of what appear to be inescapable stress.

1. Pray. This element is the most imperative of anything you’ll read in this blog post. To those of us who thrive on checklists and getting everything done at once, taking a moment to stop, reflect and pray to God can seem counterintuitive. Many of us, myself included, tell ourselves we don’t have time to pray. But prayer isn’t meant to cause us more tension, but rather relieve us of the pressures of this life. God wants us to come to Him with our concerns and worries so that He can take care of them when we aren’t strong enough to. I stumbled across this quote by Martin Luther that sums it up perfectly:

“I have so much to do that I must spend the first three hours in prayer.”

Think about that. As humans, we like to think that we are so busy that we have to “squeeze” time in with God, even something as simple as prayer. This quote really humbled me because I realized that God created me, the Heavens and the Earth, and sent Jesus to die for me so that I can have life and have it to the full. The time that He so graciously gives me in this life is not my own; rather, I am here to glorify and worship Him in the time he has given me. So, when I do feel the weight of the world resting on my shoulders, it’s only right that instead of believing I can do it all myself (which, I can’t), I humble myself before my Heavenly Father and ask Him to give me His immeasurable peace and power in order to accomplish it. Yes, studying and school and work are all very important, and certainly time-sensitive. But when we take a moment to speak with our Creator and cast our worries and cares on Him, we come out with unwavering strength and determination to tackle the aspects of life that cause us stress. I often challenge myself to pray first thing when I wake up, throughout the day, and before I take tests as well. Sometimes I forget (as we humans do), but when I do practice this, I have confidence that nothing in this world can shake.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving les your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” –Philippians 4:6-7 (ESV)

2. Take a break. There were times last week when I had been on a three-hour streak of straight studying. In the midst of trying to learn multiple weeks’ worth of material on a matter of days, I would also find myself overwhelmed by thoughts that I would not do well or meet my own expectations. In these moments, one of the most holy things you can do is rest and give yourself a break. Jesus calls us to cast our burdens on Him, because He is truly the only One that is strong enough to handle them. Relinquishing these pressures in our lives can be done not just in prayer; but in sleeping, reading, coloring, listening to music – there are endless possibilities, all of which can serve as a form of worship and be pleasing to God. For me, calligraphy is a huge stress-reliever and an artistic way for me to express my emotions. I encourage you to have me-time and discover a hobby that serves as an escape. Regardless of stress-level, we all need time to ourselves, and a healthy hobby is the perfect way to give yourself well-deserved rest.

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” -Matthew 11:28 (ESV)

3. Don’t worry. Whether you are working or in school, there is an immense amount of stress and pressure that can result in our daily lives and responsibilities. Oftentimes, the pressure leads to fear that can even be crippling. As someone who struggles with anxiety, the Lord has taught me the importance of remembering His sovereignty and power. If I have the God of the universe on my side, how could I possibly fear what this life will throw at me? The strength and power of the resurrection that is in Jesus is also inside of YOU, which is so crucial to be mindful of in the high-stress times in life. Our Heavenly Father tells us He will never leave nor forsake us, so we can’t let Satan get into our heads and convince us otherwise. God will be there to help you get that A on your test, finish your project at work and provide comfort and peace along the way – as long as you step out in faith and trust that God will fulfill His promises to you. Do your best, and let God take care of the rest – fear is only going to add even more unnecessary pressure to the seemingly endless responsibilities and stresses in your life. Through prayer and resting in His presence, the Holy Spirit will deliver you from your fears. He just wants you to seek refuge in Him and have hope in what He has already declared to be true.

“Do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” –Matthew 6:34 (ESV)

“’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.’” –Jeremiah 29:11 (ESV)

All of these methods and more provide ways to seek contentment and tranquility in the presence of God. No matter what stage of life you are in, stress is a constant struggle for all of us. Sometimes we will falter and fail, and find ourselves forgetting the promises that God has spoken to us – but He will never cease to display His relentless grace and generously provide us the hope we need to conquer all of the trials in this life. When we remember this, God will cover us in His overwhelming love and hope that will give us the confidence to face our stresses. So I encourage and challenge you to pray, rest and have faith – and you will be unstoppable.

“In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rules, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” –Romans 8:37-39 (ESV)

[tusharsinghshekhawat-blog1]

Tushar Singh Shekhawat: Top 5 Reasons You Desired a Specialist Event and also Wedding Celebration Coordinator

There's lot's of reasons you would want a professional coordinator and not a hobbyist, or a weekend break warrior wedding event coordinator. We're just going to cover the primary one's. I strongly believe that even more info is far better than not nearly enough, however at the same time, there is something as excessive details as well as overwhelmed with the amount of it. Here’s the largest reason you want a complete fledged wedding celebration expert.

  Professionalism and trust and experience.

  The special occasion coordinator that lives, takes a breath, rests as well as consumes all points special occasions from the sweet and simply mentioned to the intricate has their thumb in the pulse of sector. They are mosting likely to know the best of the best, the most effective top quality, steals as well as deals for you and when the very best time to acquire things for your occasion is. Not just will refer you to the most effective of the best wedding experts, however in fact understands the specialists who fit ideal with your individuality, design as well as most importantly in your budget plan. Along with all of this, they have the experience you require in order to successfully aid you in preparing your wedding event and then collaborating on the day of all while making sure its yours and your funds style that beams with on the day of the wedding event or unique occasion.

  This coordinator is price you more, however when you consider it in terms of schooling or experience it not only makes good sense however is an offered. Such as you would not select a physician or dental practitioner due to the fact that he's the least expensive and also has only run out institution for a couple months, right. Why would you do that to your wedding? It's the greatest day of your life alongside having your kids. She's not going to refer you to utilize various other professionals that may or may disappoint up, where you have a 50/50 chance that the work will show up the way you pictured it nor suppliers who do not have a tested track record.

Tushar Singh Shekhawat

On the other side, the weekend warrior wedding coordinator is just mosting likely to recognize their little group. The various other wedding event vendors they understand might or might not be the most effective of the most effective and also lot of times aren't tried as well as real. Furthermore, they just have their hand in the market upon occasion so their experience degree is reduced. They might not be planned for any kind of disorder that may happen on your wedding. Generally they don't believe to check your orders or validate vendors beforehand so vendors might be turning up at the incorrect location, late or not in all. Points might slide with the cracks because your organizer doesn't believe to examine and validate that they have actually been finished. Things that you assumed that they managed you might learn at the last minute, not just weren't dealt with yet she doesn't even do them.

  Contract so there's not a surprise.

  The specialist wedding celebration planner is mosting likely to have a contract that spells out her responsibilities in detail. Additionally, that agreement will certainly spell out thoroughly what, if anything relying on your bundle selections are your duty to handle. The contract isn't there to frighten you, yet secure both on your own and also the wedding event professional.

  I can't count the number of times I've heard from a new wedding vendor that they don't have a contract for their brides to evaluate as well as sign yet don't plan to have one, because isn't everyone trusting or by doing this, I can change my duties in the middle of the wedding as well as not be held liable. What? Run, seriously, run.

  Bargains as well as Steals

  We discussed this in number 1, but below it is in more information. The wedding celebration expert, has world large links, gets the first word on sales, acquisitions in bulk so products set you back much less then obtaining it on your own, has accessibility to various quality of goods, if a wedding event or event company is going out of business, sometimes they get a direct and also can buy products at a swipe for their clients. In addition, since the wedding event professional has been such a valued client over time that same service in some cases provides even much better bargains. The wedding event professional will have "assistants" who can spend the moment to research study as well as ensure that the outright ideal price is being accomplished for their customers. If you desire top quality or poor quality products they recognize where to find them for you.

  Inexperienced wedding event coordinators and suppliers aren't mosting likely to have the very same pull simply because of large quantity, as well as having their name as well as firm out enough time for individuals to understand that they are. Therefore, the customer pays extra.

  Quality of Solution and also Time Spent

  With the wedding celebration specialist with years of experience you have even more ideas as well as tricks that the expert can put in method for you. Understand area demands for you, your visitors, the bar, buffet virtual realities. seats, how many washrooms should be the minimum for your guest matter, when invites and such ought to be mailed. She's not stingy with the pointers she passes onto you. Has the expertise and also foresight to see where there might be concerns and also rapidly strokes in to make those adjustments so it's not observed. The specialist understands around the length of time as well as the number of people are required to mount your chuppa or decor design, the setup of the room and also has partnerships with the area and also the professionals to put it all together. She'll go above and also beyond to make certain that her customers are cared for. Because of the amount of experience chances are she's operated at your location.

Tushar Shekhawat

Her obligations will certainly be described as well as she'll make sure that you truly comprehend what every one of those tasks are, ultimately minimizing your stress, eliminating the stress, conserving you money and most significantly saving you time. She'll have lots of images and also an excellent organizer will certainly have images from several various cost ranges so you can see all of the opportunities as well as not simply the very best of the best and also super high-end pictures of occasions and also wedding celebrations however some that might not be as fab. The professional, understands she's currently had her wedding celebration as well as do not impose her concepts on you. She's there to make your vision a reality not to recreate her special day. She's there to assist you, direct you in choosing so when you reflect on your wedding album it's not dated to an age, to pay attention to you and be a seeming board. Absolutely not take control of. A knowledgeable coordinator has all of these links at her finger ideas and also for that reason saves you and also your pocket book tons of time as well as additional expenditure of looking for it. She knows the costly traps that brand-new brides and planners obtain stuck in as well as she'll guide you far from them.

  The weekend warrior, not having the experience seldom can do the very same. She might exceed and beyond to the best of her capacities, nevertheless as a result of absence of experience that may not suffice to obtain every one of the above handled. She'll have very few pic's for you to see and examine, some ideas, yet most likely will not just roll off her tongue, won't have any suggestion if the suggestions she's throwing out would perhaps have the ability to suit your budget. In some cases, I've listened to where the brand new planner, or weekend warrior organizer - takes over the bride-to-bes wedding celebration or is dominating like having a 2nd or third mom. OMG, who desires that?

  Control and who chooses

  First you desire a well-rounded coordinator, one who knows as well as understands design, decor and also floral, somebody that will carefully guide you and also ultimately not insert their very own viewpoints or makes you really feel pressured. You should constantly have the last word and also decision making. I personally have a couple of clients that leave a majority of choices approximately me, once they have actually told me the spending plan, theme as well as goal, nonetheless these individuals have been customers of mine for literally years and also know that I fully comprehend their vision and also count on I'll do it precisely as they've envisioned and throw a couple additional wow factor things into the event while maintaining them in budget plan. This isn't the standard for a wedding celebration. Typically you strive to do your wedding event just when which truly loads on the pressure to guarantee it's right. Having an organizer with a team to back them is security for you ... just how, there's a check point, a double check and also a final check to make certain that your vision is completed to your specs on the day of your wedding event.

  The brand new planner, although fees much less, is still attempting to determine exactly what her task is and also how it's supposed to be done. She's going to be all over the board and you're not mosting likely to feel like you're being taken care of. She'll make some decisions for you and you'll find out about them on the day of your wedding celebration. Not the method you desire it to be. Think it or not, these very early in their training stages organizers, occasionally diminish the face of the earth. I have actually not only seen it, yet it's happened to a few of my brides that I was honored with dealing with later on when the planner evacuated shop and also entrusted to no contact details.

[fountainpenguin]

I like "The Fairly OddParents" and "Danny Phantom" for their potential for angst. In the former, you have Timmy's miserable life, Vicky's potentially traumatic childhood and Timmy's despair at the fact that Cosmo and Wanda must leave him eventually. In the latter, you have Danny risking his life, being horribly injured and fearing what his parents might do to him if they knew what he really was. Just out of interest, where's the potential for angst in "Bunsen is a Beast"?

Oh my gosh, you’ve got my heart racing. Where do I even start?

I guess we start with our title character. We all know how Butch loves the fantastic racism trope (which is one thing I love about his work so much- his use of these things as serious worldbuilding details, and not merely as “one and done” plot points), and it’s a huge part of Fairy and Anti-Fairy culture. 

Fantastic racism is a thing in BIaB too. Here you’ve got this little Beast boy who speaks and reads only limited English. Although he doesn’t have huge talons, he does have horns, a spiny tail, and a lot of scary-looking teeth. As soon as he steps out of his car and starts towards the school, he is hounded by news crews:

He manages to shake them off and head inside, but as she’s introducing him to the class, the teacher says, “I hope this whole co-mingling thing works out, because if not, man and beast will be in a struggle for dominance until one side drives the other into extinction.”

Aw, snap! So you have this show about this twelve-year-old kid with the weight of two species resting on his shoulders. And he knows. That’s what I love here- he knows. Instantly when Miss Flap reminds him of this, Bunsen deflates from his happy mood (Bonus: As you continue through the series, it becomes more obvious that his natural personality is to be reserved rather than social, and that he’s way outside his comfort zone here in trying to make a good first impression and win over new friends).

There’s just so much here that’s interesting! Bunsen is clearly very aware that if he proves Beasts can successfully integrate into human society, it means a better life for his people. But if he screws up badly enough, he might have to watch his family and friends be slaughtered, on top of fearing for his own life. And if he screws up the other way, he might see humans killed as his people revolt and take over.

Now, obviously, with the fate of these races resting on him, so many politics can be dragged into this. It’s my headcanon that after petitioning for years, Beasts were finally given the okay to allow a single Beast to attend a school in a very small human town, as a test. Now, who are they going to pick? Bunsen is very fluffy and cute, so he’s a good candidate to promote the idea that Beasts aren’t dangerous and should be granted rights. Although his English is still stilted and he can read only a very small amount of it at this point, he knows enough to be verbally fluent.

So the question is, how long ago did they decide to send HIM? Has he been groomed for this position his entire life? Just think of all that pressure, those years of studying, that fear of failure drilled into his entire being since he was a kid… And that’s not even bringing up the question of whether this fight to get Beasts a human education has been going on for decades, and if he was specifically bred for his cuteness and gentle disposition. And, what if he didn’t want to be “the chosen one” in the first place? Delicious inner turmoil.

Really, it’s a show about a minority constantly struggling with thoughts of, “Should I leave all my culture behind and embrace a new one?” and “But my culture is a huge part of my identity and I don’t want to lose it.” And he shouldn’t have to lose it. So, he’s working to find a balance that makes him feel good about himself, while dealing with his fears that humans are going to look down on or even hate him for it.

If anyone was wondering, I personally feel that if Bunsen were human, his ethnicity would be one of mixed Asian origins. If I’m remembering correctly, it’s a stereotype that Chinese people are good at ping-pong, and he has a relative (possibly his mom’s brother b/c octopus tentacles) who is a ping-pong master. 

That, and it looks like he has a large extended family staying in Muckledunk with him, suggesting closer ties than I, your average white American girl, see in my own family, even though everyone on my dad’s side of the family lives in this area, and almost everyone on my mom’s side does too. Thus, the fact that he’s eating spaghetti with forks in the theme song is just kind of amusing to me. I wonder what kind of eating utensils exist in Beast society.

So, those are a few culture-related angst topics about Bunsen. Others are certainly the fact that he’s moved to a new place and has regular jitters about that, and that one of his classmates is constantly attempting to gather evidence that he’s a danger to society and should be cast out of the school and the town. Said classmate also has a rich and influential father, and it’s been made clear that some people will be unfair to Bunsen purely not to get on her father’s bad side.

And I forgot to mention all the hints that Bunsen is a pacifist (or at least that he dislikes confrontation), so his default reaction to having mean words thrown at him is to withdraw into himself and believe them.

Whether it’s because of his inborn personality or because of all the pressure resting on him, he never fights back physically, and rarely argues verbally. The closest he gets is the occasional sassy comment. Although he’s more relaxed when alone with Mikey, Bunsen seems to have somewhat low self-esteem.

Perhaps because he’s an introvert, Bunsen is very perceptive. I might argue that he picks up on subtleties better than Mikey does- so if your words or body language suggest that you don’t like him, he will know. Mikey was willing to ignore Jerry’s emotional instability in “Mikey Is a Beast” because he saw Jerry as his hero, but Bunsen picked up on it and was very nervous at the thought of hanging around him. Throughout that episode, Bunsen continues making nervous faces even when the main focus of the scene isn’t on him- such as when Jerry shouted for Mikey to stop crying over Bunsen’s head:

I greatly appreciate whoever includes these things in the storyboards! These characters are just constantly in character even in the background.

Ooh, then there’s the piece of his character that solidifies Bunsen as a lawful neutral- his utter devotion to following rules, even when he doesn’t like them (For example, wanting to touch things in the museum, but restraining himself when he sees ‘Do not touch’ signs). He’s extremely committed to a set of values known as the Beast Code. This code outlines good etiquette such as “Beasts are always polite”, but sometimes it pins Bunsen into corners.

For example, in “Handsome Beast”, Amanda asked Bunsen out to the girls’ choice dance. Even though he dislikes her, it’s apparently “against the Beast Code to decline an invitation”, so Bunsen was thoroughly convinced that he has to not only go to the dance, but “follow the rigid steps of the Beast wooing procedure” too. He feels more stressed out by the thought of disobeying the Code than by the action of taking someone he doesn’t like on a date.

Beasts appear to have super unstable genetics, because when they have allergic reactions, they take on characteristics of the thing that upset their body systems. Here, Bunsen evidently had a reaction to the body spray Mikey was using in the hopes of attracting girls. He’s also confirmed to be allergic to bee stings and Swiss fondue.

Let’s see, what else… Bunsen obviously has a very close and understanding relationship with his parents, considering that even after everything their whole family sacrificed to move to Muckledunk - stability, friendships, money, possibly years of special educational programs depending on how long ago he was selected as the Beasts’ representative - they were completely willing to move back to the underground Beast World after Bunsen confessed to them that he was terrified of thunder, and couldn’t handle the sound of it anymore.

(These nerds even have matching pictures of each other)

There’s a lot of angst potential there, because up and leaving Muckledunk like that could not have been an easy thing for his entire extended family to agree to do. Or an easy decision for Bunsen to even make and consider talking to them about. He’s Beast World’s champion. Their saving grace. As much as he hates thunder, I’m sure he felt absolutely awful to know he was disappointing his entire race. This is the only time thus far, I think, that he truly puts himself before thoughts of duty and honor. These showing and not telling details really drive home how terrified of thunder the poor guy is.

So, Bunsen! I could name a couple of shows about a kid with an animal (or Beast) friend, but of these friends, Bunsen is my favorite. Cartoons like this generally involve one character who doesn’t caremuch about consequences dragging the other into zany schemes. But this is a show about a kid who is honestly curious about the world, and has strong morals that keep him out of trouble. I’m huge on following rules myself, so having a show with characters who are aware that their actions have consequences (Bunsen moreso than Mikey) and who don’t intentionally bend the law means a lot to me.

From a writer’s perspective, Bunsen is a very well-balanced character: he’s very reactive, so he acts as a nice foil to active Mikey. However, he can be plenty active too, such as when he’s introducing Mikey to his home or talking about his culture and biology. And it’s not out of character for him to be this way. It’s all dependent on his comfort level in a particular situation; by default Bunsen is reserved, but he starts opening up and being more active as he gets to know you. He’s very, very balanced and well-written, I think.

Oh. Also, his best friend has a morbid sense of humor, and even cracks jokes about taxidermy when Bunsen sees his uncle on display at a museum.

And BOY HOWDY, we haven’t even gotten to Mikey yet!

I. Love. Mikey. In fact, he’s probably the character I relate to more than anyone in any show I’ve ever watched. I’ve heard that some people don’t like BIaB because Mikey is just “a boring, regular kid”, but I don’t know what show they’re watching, because I could go on and on about how cool this boy is. In fact, calling it now, the Mikey section of this post will likely be unfairly longer than Bunsen’s.

Where to start, where to start… Well, you wanted angst, so let’s start with this. Remember how in “Abra-Catastrophe”, we found out that until he was eight, Timmy’s parents used to obsess over and record every second of his day on video cameras? Mikey’s childhood resembles that a little bit… except it never stopped.

Mikey has helicopter parents in both senses of the word. They obviously love him, but thus far in the show, they have only interacted with him through this drone. I wouldn’t be surprised if never seeing them in person is a running gag in the series, the same way not revealing the names of Timmy’s parents is a gag in FOP. The implication here is that they’re out of town a lot- meaning that he’s been left at home to raise himself-

-surrounded by security cameras and microphones, of course. Major props to whoever designed Mikey’s yard and drew this storyboard, because I love how none of the characters ever call any attention to the cameras or anything. They’re just. There. Watching. Details like this make me happy.

Y’know, when you’ve got a SMALL TOWN CHILD whose parents install SECURITY SYSTEMS, you can’t help but wonder if said child has any problems disabling the security systems on any building in said small town. Problems physically, or morally. I wonder…

I’m really curious to know when his parents got this drone. Mikey hasn’t revealed anything about a babysitter. Did his parents start leaving him at home alone once they got it and could watch out for him? Or did they leave him home alone to fend for himself even before that? 

Mikey’s parents are very nice people - probably better than Timmy’s parents - but they’re not there in the way he needs emotionally. They try to compensate for this by stalking him with the drone whenever they can spare the time. The ability of the drone to find him is interesting too… Perhaps they track him using the location of his phone. Surely they wouldn’t actually GPS chip their child.

Children need safety (physical and emotional) for healthy development. Given the security cameras and the presumed reputation of his parents, we can assume he has the former. But violating his privacy “without probable cause” the way they do can be psychologically damaging and lead to trust issues. Especially because he’s asked his parents to stop, and they haven’t.

Previously, I’ve mentioned my theory that Mikey has an older sister, which would explain why he had the dress, sandals, ribbon, and make-up on hand (and might answer our question about who watched over Mikey pre-drone):

I think she might have disappointed their parents in some way (such as having a baby while an unmarried teen, or stealing money and the family car), and so she took off for the hills. I like this idea because it helps “justify” why Mikey’s parents are so obsessed with monitoring him. They don’t stalk him constantly, but when he gets older, I feel like he’ll have at least one parent on his case at almost all times while the other is installing security systems. One Munroe kid going sour is bad enough for their reputation. Small town. People talk!

Additionally, his voice actor (Ben Giroux) revealed that he used to “terrorize his sister” with the Mikey voice when they were kids. Imagine Mikey doing the same thing to his sister once upon a time, pfft.

This sister theory is just a headcanon, but it’ll be interesting to see what hints about his home life and family are dropped in future episodes. And did I mention that Mikey occasionally visits his uncle in prison, possibly because this is the only family member he has who can’t run away? I love him.

That was Mikey in the past. Now, what about Mikey in the present?

Let me say it again: I. Love. This. Kid.

I’m majoring in psychology, and when I started watching this show, I quickly ended up leaning back in my seat with a knuckle in my mouth, grinning at the ceiling. Mikey is a textbook case for narcissistic personality disorder, with the bonus joke thrown in of, I have no idea if Butch and the writers meant to do this or not (at least, they may not have realized they’ve been checking off all the diagnostic criteria as we go along). Either way, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a narcissistic cartoon character pulled off so subtly and so well- and without the cliché stereotype of being obsessed with his looks to boot!

People with this personality disorder are typically characterized as being “arrogant” (Check), “self-centered” (Check), “manipulative” (Check), “concentrating on grandiose fantasies [such as their own success or brilliance]” (Check), and as having “a need for admiration” (Check), “a lack of empathy for other people” (Check), and they “may be convinced that they deserve special treatment” (CHECK- Did you see “Beast of Friends” and “Astro-Nots”?). Such narcissists might “have difficulty tolerating criticism or defeat and may be left feeling humiliated or empty” when their pride is injured. That sure sounds like Mikey to me!

(Technically, since he’s young, we can’t officially diagnose him until he’s acted this way for a year, but if he continues in this pattern then he should fit the bill!)

What a personality disorder means is, this is his personality. You could maybe tone him down by reinforcing certain behaviors, but there’s nothing you can do to “fix” him permanently. There’s no medicine that will change him. It’s just the way he is, and it’s not really his fault. Mikey just loves being the center of attention. And I’m sure it doesn’t help his ego that he’s lived a life with cameras focused on him, and he’s possibly the second child and baby of his family.

He just constantly refocuses the spotlight on himself, like in this scene here where he expresses no sympathy for Darcy being alone all day (or even acknowledges her statement whatsoever), and changes the subject to him:

“Outside, when you were very close to my face, you said something about… helping me?”

Translation: “I’m only here for my benefit. Are we actually doing this, or are you just wasting my time?”

His narcissism is especially prominent throughout “Beast of Friends”. Not only does he interrupt Bunsen once he hears Bunsen has a friend who’s a wish-granting fairy, but when he meets Timmy Turner, all Mikey wants to do is make wishes. Timmy even asks him nicely to stop, and Mikey agrees by making comments like, “I totally hear you. Just let me make one more wish”. 

Spoiler: He doesn’t stop at one more. And when Timmy is tripping over himself, struggling to cover up hints of magic and fairies from his dad, he begs Mikey to back him up. Mikey cheerfully says, “Timmy’s totally right”, and immediately turns his attention back to Wanda and - you guessed it - makes more wishes. He’s completely blind to the fact that he’s causing Timmy distress. He hardly seems to register Timmy’s presence, because he’s so focused on the fact that Timmy has fairy godparents. Mikey even assumes they’ll grant his wishes, and never asks Timmy for permission first. This also happens to be the only episode thus far where Mikey realizes he got a little carried away, and apologizes for it. It took the threat of Bunsen’s death to get him to this point.

He also just honestly forgets to think about others a lot of the time. I think the best example I could pull up is that scene where Bunsen congratulates Amanda on winning “hide and go freak”, to which Mikey responds-

He forgot Amanda. As soon as he saw Bunsen’s game room, all bets were off. He just naturally assumed that if he wasn’t playing, the game was over. It didn’t even cross his mind to tell Amanda he wanted to play ping-pong instead. And he’s like this throughout the show. All. The. Time.

Of course, apart from his narcissism, Mikey has another fair reason to be distractible: there are heavy hints that he has ADHD, not the least of which is that he seems to be canonically dyslexic:

(“Go”)

(“Doomed”)

(Here he’s struggling to spell “cat”)

Dyslexia isn’t an actual diagnosis in the DSM-5, but he would have a specific learning disorder for writing - aka spelling, grammar, punctuation, and clarity (refer to the script he wrote above) - but he has no impairment in the reading department (fluency, comprehension), which is why he can read perfectly fine.

ADHD and dyslexia typically go hand in hand. On top of that - and this is SUPER fascinating to me - he’s actually animated as having an inability to sit still. He’s constantly out of his seat, or in his seat and changing position.

I actually had a different example in mind but it was too long and wouldn’t loop

When I first heard of this show, I naturally assumed Bunsen was going to be the wild one, and Mikey would be your average, plain kid along for the ride. It just seemed the cliché default. But then comes this huge plot twist in my mind: Bunsen is playful, but a bit reserved, and Mikey is the extremely peppy and hyperactive child. So, I think that’s really cool and lots of fun. Mikey is the first time I’ve ever watched a show and selected a lead to be my favorite character, so obviously something’s going right here!

ADHD also has some angst potential along with it. Aside from the obvious examples of struggling in class, he’s confirmed to be the head of the school welcoming committee. So, when it comes to designing posters, that can’t be the easiest job to do!

Oh, did you think that was all? NOPE! It’s been hinted numerous times that Mikey has an interest in psychology (and I wouldn’t be surprised if he spent hours poring over childcare books when he was younger as he tried to figure out if the way his parents were raising him was right or wrong). 

And, whether he started doing this intentionally or not, he’s turned into a massive guilt-tripper. He cries, people give him what he wants, he stops.

To be fair, Mikey doesn’t seem to realize that what he’s doing is wrong in any way. He’s sensitive in general- that part certainly isn’t faked, nor is he trying to be mean. Simply, this guilt-tripping behavior has been reinforced. 

Repeatedly.

As of “Astro-Nots”, he has yet to come up against anyone in the show who says no to big sad eyes (and he seems to have, perhaps unconsciously, taught this guilt-tripping behavior to Bunsen by this point). Since Mikey hasn’t tried to guilt-trip Amanda onscreen, it’s possible he’s tried in the past, but wasn’t reinforced and so unhappily gave up. He’s just savage to her with his words.

Now, I have that GIF above of Mikey guilt-tripping even Bunsen, his best friend, to do something he really didn’t want to do. I wouldn’t call their relationship abusive at all, especially with Mikey not seeming to realize what he’s doing is wrong. They’re good, close friends and get along awesomely. A time or two of guilt-tripping shouldn’t be reason to end their friendship. Really, what Bunsen did when agreeing to be Jerry’s mascot was a favor. Although being a mascot wasn’t something Bunsen wanted to do, he did want to make Mikey happy, and he did willingly agree to this- as a favor to a friend.

But for angst purposes, he didn’t want to do it. Like I said, I don’t consider their friendship abusive or anything like that, but it might be a tad strained at times. Think of it like, your college roommate might have really irritating quirks, but they’re probably not abusive. Only if Mikey’s manipulating got out of hand to the point where Bunsen was in distress and wanted this to stop - and Mikey refused - would this become a big problem. But, everyone has character flaws and their own struggles in relationships, and for now, this is just one of Mikey’s.

Don’t get me wrong. Mikey’s a really nice person, and he’s proved it multiple times (One of my favorite lines of his is, “Help me help you”). This is the thing: he always wants to get his way. If his way happens to be, “I want to make you happy”, then you’re in luck! But if you’re opposed to his views… he’s not going to make life easy on you. Mikey’s the sort of person who only says sorry out of sympathy- not when you insist he’s made a mistake. Not easily, anyway. He’s a narcissist who reads about psychology- he hates admitting that he’s wrong.

Heh heh. He’ll totally be there if you directlytell him what you need. But he can be a little blind to the feelings of others. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree!

On top of ALL of this, Mikey has to put up with his rival being attracted to him:

She invades his personal space constantly and forces physical contact like this on him, and it obviously makes him super uncomfortable. I can relate. In my ninth grade math class, I had to sit next to a couple of jerks who - not an exaggeration, because they told me this - had grade point averages of 1.9 (out of 4.0). I didn’t show any interest in them, except once when one of them was bugging me about what my name was, I finally reinforced him by revealing it. This did not go well for me. And for whatever reason, the girl who sat in front of me thought I had a crush on this annoying kid. No clue why, because he was awful. So, she told him to come up behind me and rub my back.

Okay. So, no. I was out of my seat so fast, grabbing my thick, heavy school binder and whirling around, ready to smack him upside the head, but the bell rang just then so he got off scot-free. Keep in mind that I’m not even five feet tall as a college student, so I was even smaller back then. But BOY, did that kid have the face of someone who thought he was going to die.

Gosh, why is Mikey so relatable…

Then there’s more angst to be found within Amanda, Beverly- and of COURSE, Commander Cone… I could talk about them for a while still, but this post has gotten pretty long, so I’ll settle for just discussing our leading boys.

Mostly, the angst in BIaB is that sort of subtle emotional angst that’s obvious if you’re an adult paying attention to the show, but that’s easy to miss if you’re younger. It’s similar to “Fairly OddParents” in that respect (which is a show I personally favor to “Danny Phantom”, even though there are several things I could name about DP that appeal to me too).

Huh. Come to think of it, I wonder if that’s why DP has always been so popular- the younger generation caught onto its angst potential because it was more physical and obvious than the emotional angst present in cartoons like FOP. Plus he’s like a superhero and kids like superheroes. I tend to favor subtleties myself… I suppose because it feels more like I’m in on the joke than like I’m being force-fed.

Anyhow, “Bunsen Is a Beast” is not a cartoon that requires angst to move it along. And yet it’s sprinkled in there anyway; it never feels forced to me. Along with its super-expressive characters, that’s one thing that attracts me to the show- Holding my breath in anticipation to see if I can catch the subtleties. 

For example, all throughout “Body and the Beast”, Mikey refuses to say “school picture day” because he’s convinced something bad will happen to him if he does. That’s a hint that he may be superstitious, and adds a fascinating layer to his character since he’s our man of psychology and science. 

Isn’t that neat? Depending on how deep this runs, he might even struggle with thought-action fusion: the belief that thinking something is the same (aka, as “sinful”) as actually doing it- and there is so much angst tied up with that. 

And OH MAN, we didn’t even get to the part about Mikey “mysteriously” going bald two years prior the show’s beginning. Pardon me, but what is a ten-year-old narcissist who isn’t getting the emotional affection he desires from his parents going to do to himself for attention? Thaaaaaaaat’s right.

(Or if you want bonus angst potential… ever heard of trichotillomania?)

The clip where Mikey refuses to mention picture day and goes straight into talking about how he went bald two years ago was only a few seconds long, but it reveals so much! See? There’s so much fun here for someone like me! But like… It’s left up to me to choose if I want to see these characters as the sum of their parts, or if I want to enjoy this show while merely scraping the surface: Bunsen being cheerful and Mikey being his happy friend.

I like having this depth. I like having subtleties. With DP, “Star”, and “Gravity Falls”, every episode tasted very, “Meh, that went the way I expected it to” in my mouth. I guess you could say that that the subtle details I like in BIaB are very “inside joke” in nature. With those other three, everyone who watches the show is going to catch angsty things. It doesn’t take the coolness out of them, but it takes that excitement of discovery away from me a bit, I suppose? 

Could be. I don’t like being spoon-fed emotions. That’s why you don’t normally find me shipping characters (and when I do, I often tend towards background couples). I’m just not a very emotional person. I don’t tear up at anything less sad than Radio’s death in “Brave Little Toaster to the Rescue”, so you can guess how often that happens, because hoooooly wow, that death scene.

See, there are very few things that bug me about “Star vs. The Forces of Evil”, but the fact that I’m expected to feel bad for Star when Marco starts dating the girl of his dreams is one of them. The ending of “Just Friends” bothered me, with the way that Star lashed out and destroyed the stadium billboard like she was five. Ick. I guess the show put a little too much faith in the idea that people watch shows for ships. Yes, lots of people do- but I’m not one of them. I don’t ship two people just because they’re there, so I have a very hard time sympathizing with Star’s refusal to let Marco be happy with Jackie. 

In my mind, she’s an exchange student. They live together. They’re foster siblings. So when you don’t pity her, Star just looks like a selfish brat throughout the end of Season 2. Good glory, I so do not want Starco to be the endgame couple… I know it’s extremely unlikely to happen, but I’d love for her to end up with Oskar. Just. The potential of freaking Oskar being Mewni’s king. I need this so badly. Plus, they just feel so natural. 

Awesome show. But I don’t really go for the idea of, “She had to leave him, and it was so sad because she was in love!!!” What is this, a nuzlocke? I’m much happier fawning over Ludo and his story, like the way he once said, “Are you proud of me?” and then when he was complimented, he hesitated and asked, “Can you say proud?” That tells you everything.

I did really enjoy the twist in “Danny Phantom” that Danny doesn’t need to keep his identity secret from his enemies, but from his family- not to protect his family, but because his family are ghost hunters, and they’re liable to hurt him. But, like… I would have enjoyed some filler episodes, actually. Episodes where Danny didn’t even fight ghosts. Episodes that gave him more character traits. Because who is Danny without his ghost powers? He’s a shy kid who enjoys learning about outer space and wants to get with the cool crowd, but has only two close friends. Mostly, he only does poorly in school because he never has the chance to sleep or study, or when he does have free time, he’s distracted by video games.

I wanted to see that Danny a little more, and not just when Danny gave up his ghost powers in “Phantom Planet”. I wanted THAT Danny to have angst. The problem with Season 3 was, in Season 1, Danny was learning to control his powers for the first time. In Season 3, he’d mastered them. He didn’t struggle anymore. He lacked good weaknesses. His weakness became exhausting himself to the point where he slipped back into human form. Aka, the removal of powers: kryptonite. His angst was about fighting ghosts. It was very plot-based. And that worked really well until suddenly it didn’t. Fans of the show have rounded his character out some more, but canon!Danny was left flailing for weaknesses in Season 3, or so I think.

I didn’t mean to go off about shows that you didn’t even ask about in your question. Sorry! This is the first time I’ve tried putting into words my thoughts about why those shows are neat to watch, yet I don’t consider myself part of their respective fandoms. 

What I enjoy about BIaB is, the fantastic racism element is definitely there, but it’s not the main focus of every single episode (Geez, that would get annoying fast). It’s a show about, well… fitting in. Making new friends. Struggling with a bully who hurts people emotionally instead of physically. Culture shock. It’s about two kids caring for one another, accepting who they are and who the other is, making mistakes, and learning to be better people in the process. Y’know. With plenty of angst sprinkled on top. The type of angst that fleshes characters out and builds up solid worlds. The kind of angst that I enjoy a lot.

So, DP, GF, and “Star” are generally well-done and awesome, but for whatever reason, I just appreciate them in a different way than I do FOP and BIaB. Anyone who’s been around my blog for awhile knows which of the shows I watch I actually produce fanwork for.

I think it’s interesting that people enjoy different things, don’t you?

[lauramalchowblog]

The Pandemic’s Toll on Mental Health and Relationships: What Can We Learn?

When Mark asked me to write a post about the toll the pandemic is taking on mental health and relationships, I didn’t want simply to detail the ways it’s hard to live through a pandemic. Nor did I want to throw a bunch of statistics at you about how many people are having a difficult time. You know that it’s like living in the world’s least entertaining Groundhog-Day-meets-dystopian-thriller film.

If you’re like me, you’re sick of kvetching about 2020. The fact is, though, that I don’t know anyone, myself included, who isn’t struggling in one way or another right now.

After a lot of reflection, I’ve concluded that a big reason why 2020 is so draining is that our usual coping strategies don’t work like we want or expect. Most are aimed at reducing the source of our distress or dealing with the emotional aftermath. This pandemic is ongoing. We’re stuck in the middle of it, with no end in sight, and no way to speed the process along.

That doesn’t mean we’re helpless, though. Personally, I’m a huge believer in practicing self-compassion as a means of coping, almost no matter the situation. I’m talking a formal practice of self-compassion, as outlined by Dr. Kristin Neff and others.1 This requires self-awareness—mindfully tuning in to what is happening in your brain and body—and then offering yourself understanding and grace for what you’re feeling and how you’re responding. It’s perfect for situations like the one we’re in now, where we have little control over our suffering (the term used in the self-compassion literature), but we desire peace.

Because of my background, in the quest for self-awareness, I always look at situations through the dual lens of ancestral health and social psychology. Ever the optimist, I also look for opportunities to learn and do better when possible. Here’s what I’ve come up with so far.

Instantly download your Guide to Gut Health

Facing the Unique Challenges of Living Through a Pandemic

I said I didn’t want to gripe, but let’s acknowledge that the pandemic is taking a serious toll. Survey after survey shows that more people are struggling with depression and anxiety. Distance learning is a challenge. Healthcare workers are under a tremendous amount of stress, as our other essential workers. People are sleeping poorly. Substance abuse is on the rise. 2 3

Which is to say, 2020 is exhausting, for lots of reasons.

Stressors Are Meant to Be Acute

Mark talks about this all the time. Humans are best equipped to deal with brief, intense stressors. We fight, flee, or freeze, and then, assuming a saber-toothed tiger hasn’t eaten us, we recover.

Everything about the present situation is misaligned with our genetic expectations. We’re simply not built to withstand long-term, unyielding stress—not from our jobs, chronic cardio, chronic sleep deprivation, and certainly not from six months of pandemic with no end in sight.

Remember back at the beginning of the pandemic where people were all, “Use this time to work on a new skill, build your side business, Marie Kondo your whole house!”

Lololol.

Now we’re beating ourselves up for feeling unproductive, lacking the motivation to exercise, and craving comfort foods. Instead, we should be lowering our expectations and telling coronavirus, “It’s not me; it’s you.”

Staying Afloat

When it comes to stress, even chronic stress, the goal is usually to eliminate it as much as possible. Here, though, our only real option is to try to keep our heads above water while we wait for things to get better. It doesn’t surprise me that substance abuse seems to be on the rise. When we can’t control stressors, sometimes it seems easier to numb out. The problem is, numbing isn’t coping. It’s avoidance. Drinking a bottle of wine while binge-watching a show may be great escapism, but at best, it’s a temporary fix.

In many cases, our best option is, in fact, self-compassion, radical acceptance, whatever you want to call it, plus a heaping dose of self-care. The trick, I think, is to acknowledge that the goal isn’t to alleviate stress or feel “normal.” It’s to stay afloat long enough to see the other side.

Questions I’m asking myself:

Am I expecting too much of myself, or failing to give myself necessary grace, given the amount of stress I can’t control

Am I using numbing strategies instead of coping strategies?

Mismatch Between Basic Needs and Coping Strategies

I’ve come to believe that many mental and emotional hardships are due to a mismatch between why we’re struggling and what we’re told to do about it.

Let me back up. Psychologists have proposed various models of basic human needs. You’re probably familiar with Maslow’s hierarchy, for example. At the base of Maslow’s pyramid are basic physiological and safety needs (food, warmth), then you work your way up to belongingness (relationships), esteem (pride, accomplishment), and finally self-actualization.

Academics don’t put a lot of stock in it, but it’s stuck around for more than seven decades because it has high face validity. That is, it feels right. We need to attend to physiological and safety needs before we can worry about connecting to other people, and certainly before becoming the best version of ourselves.

Those foundational needs are always more pressing, and all of us are facing novel threats to our safety. Not surprisingly, data from two polls conducted by the Kaiser Family Foundation and one from the U.S. Census Bureau confirm that the mental health toll has been greater for people who have experienced job loss or income insecurity.4 5

Yet, much of the coping advice is aimed at those higher-tier needs—connecting to others, learning a new skill, becoming a zen master. I’ve been guilty of this, too. I love talking about self-care. At the same time, I understand why people are sick of being told to take a bubble bath or go for a walk when they’re worried about paying rent. (I do think social connection is always important.)

Melt your stress away with Adaptogenic Calm

A Problem of Self-Determination

My favorite psychological needs theory—doesn’t everyone have one?—is self-determination theory. SDT posits that humans have three basic psychological needs: autonomy, competence, and relatedness. Unlike Maslow’s hierarchy, there is a boatload of research demonstrating how meeting those fundamental needs, or not, affects motivation and well-being.6

It seems to me that most common coping strategies address competence (developing mastery) or relatedness (connecting to others). However, loss of autonomy—the freedom to control our own actions—is undoubtedly a primary reason we’re struggling.

The problem is, there’s not much we can do about that. The best option is to focus on controlling the things we can control and accepting those we can’t (major serenity prayer vibes, here). I’m not suggesting that we should be reasserting our autonomy by flouting the rules and doing whatever we want, virus be damned. No, the point is to understand why things still feel hard even when we’re trying our best to practice self-care so that we might give ourselves grace.

Questions I’m asking myself:

Am I meeting myself where I’m at, or am I using generic coping strategies that, while well-meaning, aren’t really what I need?

Am I blaming myself or feeling guilty for struggling, instead of accepting that the pandemic is hard in ways that are hard to cope with directly?

What Can We Learn from People Who are Doing Well?

I’m fascinated by people who are actually doing better now than before. Some kids are thriving at home, free from the social and academic pressures of traditional schooling. Lots of adults are realizing that they are happier and more productive working from home.

Getting back to the topic of this post, when I started to dig into the data on how the pandemic is affecting relationships, I expected to find dire news. I didn’t. While it’s logistically harder to see friends or travel to visit distant relatives, many people have seen their close relationships improve.

FThe Behavioural Science and Health Research Department at University College London is conducting weekly surveys looking at the psychological response to the pandemic, along with other socioemotional and behavioral variables. More than 90,000 people have responded. As of writing, data are available for the first 23 weeks here.

In July, week 16, the researchers asked about relationships. The majority of respondents said the pandemic had not changed their relationships with spouses, friends, family members, or coworkers. More people felt that their friendships had suffered since the beginning of the pandemic, compared to the number whose friendships improved—22 versus 15 percent of respondents, respectively. The data were similar for coworkers. However, relationships with some family members and neighbors were more likely to have improved:

27 percent said their romantic relationship got better, while 18 percent felt it was worse

35 percent reported their relationship with children living at home had improved, versus 17 percent who said it had suffered

26 percent had better relationships with neighbors, versus 8 percent worse

I really wish there was more attention to being paid to those people. Why are they doing better? What’s their secret? It must have something to do with the time we have to invest differently in relationships now, but is there more to it than that? Academics are going to be writing about this for decades, I’m sure.

Shaping a “New Normal”

Since we have no choice about living through a pandemic, I hope we can at least learn from it.

When we go back to “normal,” it won’t be—and shouldn’t be—the normal we knew before. The ways people are suffering and thriving both offer important lessons about human nature, our ability to cope, and the ways we do and do not support one another effectively. That some people are doing better during an arguably terrible time is telling. It says a lot about the challenges and shortcomings of our pre-pandemic way of life.

The question is, will we heed the lessons?

What about you—how are you doing, really? Will you go back to “business as usual,” or have you gained any insights from the past six months that will change how you approach things in the future?

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References

https://self-compassion.org

https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2770146

https://www.kff.org/coronavirus-covid-19/issue-brief/the-implications-of-covid-19-for-mental-health-and-substance-use/

https://www.kff.org/coronavirus-covid-19/issue-brief/the-implications-of-covid-19-for-mental-health-and-substance-use/

https://www.census.gov/programs-surveys/household-pulse-survey/data.html

https://richarddehoop.nl/upload/file/self-determination.pdf

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[jesseneufeld]

The Pandemic’s Toll on Mental Health and Relationships: What Can We Learn?

When Mark asked me to write a post about the toll the pandemic is taking on mental health and relationships, I didn’t want simply to detail the ways it’s hard to live through a pandemic. Nor did I want to throw a bunch of statistics at you about how many people are having a difficult time. You know that it’s like living in the world’s least entertaining Groundhog-Day-meets-dystopian-thriller film.

If you’re like me, you’re sick of kvetching about 2020. The fact is, though, that I don’t know anyone, myself included, who isn’t struggling in one way or another right now.

After a lot of reflection, I’ve concluded that a big reason why 2020 is so draining is that our usual coping strategies don’t work like we want or expect. Most are aimed at reducing the source of our distress or dealing with the emotional aftermath. This pandemic is ongoing. We’re stuck in the middle of it, with no end in sight, and no way to speed the process along.

That doesn’t mean we’re helpless, though. Personally, I’m a huge believer in practicing self-compassion as a means of coping, almost no matter the situation. I’m talking a formal practice of self-compassion, as outlined by Dr. Kristin Neff and others.1 This requires self-awareness—mindfully tuning in to what is happening in your brain and body—and then offering yourself understanding and grace for what you’re feeling and how you’re responding. It’s perfect for situations like the one we’re in now, where we have little control over our suffering (the term used in the self-compassion literature), but we desire peace.

Because of my background, in the quest for self-awareness, I always look at situations through the dual lens of ancestral health and social psychology. Ever the optimist, I also look for opportunities to learn and do better when possible. Here’s what I’ve come up with so far.

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Facing the Unique Challenges of Living Through a Pandemic

I said I didn’t want to gripe, but let’s acknowledge that the pandemic is taking a serious toll. Survey after survey shows that more people are struggling with depression and anxiety. Distance learning is a challenge. Healthcare workers are under a tremendous amount of stress, as our other essential workers. People are sleeping poorly. Substance abuse is on the rise. 2 3

Which is to say, 2020 is exhausting, for lots of reasons.

Stressors Are Meant to Be Acute

Mark talks about this all the time. Humans are best equipped to deal with brief, intense stressors. We fight, flee, or freeze, and then, assuming a saber-toothed tiger hasn’t eaten us, we recover.

Everything about the present situation is misaligned with our genetic expectations. We’re simply not built to withstand long-term, unyielding stress—not from our jobs, chronic cardio, chronic sleep deprivation, and certainly not from six months of pandemic with no end in sight.

Remember back at the beginning of the pandemic where people were all, “Use this time to work on a new skill, build your side business, Marie Kondo your whole house!”

Lololol.

Now we’re beating ourselves up for feeling unproductive, lacking the motivation to exercise, and craving comfort foods. Instead, we should be lowering our expectations and telling coronavirus, “It’s not me; it’s you.”

Staying Afloat

When it comes to stress, even chronic stress, the goal is usually to eliminate it as much as possible. Here, though, our only real option is to try to keep our heads above water while we wait for things to get better. It doesn’t surprise me that substance abuse seems to be on the rise. When we can’t control stressors, sometimes it seems easier to numb out. The problem is, numbing isn’t coping. It’s avoidance. Drinking a bottle of wine while binge-watching a show may be great escapism, but at best, it’s a temporary fix.

In many cases, our best option is, in fact, self-compassion, radical acceptance, whatever you want to call it, plus a heaping dose of self-care. The trick, I think, is to acknowledge that the goal isn’t to alleviate stress or feel “normal.” It’s to stay afloat long enough to see the other side.

Questions I’m asking myself:

Am I expecting too much of myself, or failing to give myself necessary grace, given the amount of stress I can’t control

Am I using numbing strategies instead of coping strategies?

Mismatch Between Basic Needs and Coping Strategies

I’ve come to believe that many mental and emotional hardships are due to a mismatch between why we’re struggling and what we’re told to do about it.

Let me back up. Psychologists have proposed various models of basic human needs. You’re probably familiar with Maslow’s hierarchy, for example. At the base of Maslow’s pyramid are basic physiological and safety needs (food, warmth), then you work your way up to belongingness (relationships), esteem (pride, accomplishment), and finally self-actualization.

Academics don’t put a lot of stock in it, but it’s stuck around for more than seven decades because it has high face validity. That is, it feels right. We need to attend to physiological and safety needs before we can worry about connecting to other people, and certainly before becoming the best version of ourselves.

Those foundational needs are always more pressing, and all of us are facing novel threats to our safety. Not surprisingly, data from two polls conducted by the Kaiser Family Foundation and one from the U.S. Census Bureau confirm that the mental health toll has been greater for people who have experienced job loss or income insecurity.4 5

Yet, much of the coping advice is aimed at those higher-tier needs—connecting to others, learning a new skill, becoming a zen master. I’ve been guilty of this, too. I love talking about self-care. At the same time, I understand why people are sick of being told to take a bubble bath or go for a walk when they’re worried about paying rent. (I do think social connection is always important.)

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A Problem of Self-Determination

My favorite psychological needs theory—doesn’t everyone have one?—is self-determination theory. SDT posits that humans have three basic psychological needs: autonomy, competence, and relatedness. Unlike Maslow’s hierarchy, there is a boatload of research demonstrating how meeting those fundamental needs, or not, affects motivation and well-being.6

It seems to me that most common coping strategies address competence (developing mastery) or relatedness (connecting to others). However, loss of autonomy—the freedom to control our own actions—is undoubtedly a primary reason we’re struggling.

The problem is, there’s not much we can do about that. The best option is to focus on controlling the things we can control and accepting those we can’t (major serenity prayer vibes, here). I’m not suggesting that we should be reasserting our autonomy by flouting the rules and doing whatever we want, virus be damned. No, the point is to understand why things still feel hard even when we’re trying our best to practice self-care so that we might give ourselves grace.

Questions I’m asking myself:

Am I meeting myself where I’m at, or am I using generic coping strategies that, while well-meaning, aren’t really what I need?

Am I blaming myself or feeling guilty for struggling, instead of accepting that the pandemic is hard in ways that are hard to cope with directly?

What Can We Learn from People Who are Doing Well?

I’m fascinated by people who are actually doing better now than before. Some kids are thriving at home, free from the social and academic pressures of traditional schooling. Lots of adults are realizing that they are happier and more productive working from home.

Getting back to the topic of this post, when I started to dig into the data on how the pandemic is affecting relationships, I expected to find dire news. I didn’t. While it’s logistically harder to see friends or travel to visit distant relatives, many people have seen their close relationships improve.

FThe Behavioural Science and Health Research Department at University College London is conducting weekly surveys looking at the psychological response to the pandemic, along with other socioemotional and behavioral variables. More than 90,000 people have responded. As of writing, data are available for the first 23 weeks here.

In July, week 16, the researchers asked about relationships. The majority of respondents said the pandemic had not changed their relationships with spouses, friends, family members, or coworkers. More people felt that their friendships had suffered since the beginning of the pandemic, compared to the number whose friendships improved—22 versus 15 percent of respondents, respectively. The data were similar for coworkers. However, relationships with some family members and neighbors were more likely to have improved:

27 percent said their romantic relationship got better, while 18 percent felt it was worse

35 percent reported their relationship with children living at home had improved, versus 17 percent who said it had suffered

26 percent had better relationships with neighbors, versus 8 percent worse

I really wish there was more attention to being paid to those people. Why are they doing better? What’s their secret? It must have something to do with the time we have to invest differently in relationships now, but is there more to it than that? Academics are going to be writing about this for decades, I’m sure.

Shaping a “New Normal”

Since we have no choice about living through a pandemic, I hope we can at least learn from it.

When we go back to “normal,” it won’t be—and shouldn’t be—the normal we knew before. The ways people are suffering and thriving both offer important lessons about human nature, our ability to cope, and the ways we do and do not support one another effectively. That some people are doing better during an arguably terrible time is telling. It says a lot about the challenges and shortcomings of our pre-pandemic way of life.

The question is, will we heed the lessons?

What about you—how are you doing, really? Will you go back to “business as usual,” or have you gained any insights from the past six months that will change how you approach things in the future?

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References

https://self-compassion.org

https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2770146

https://www.kff.org/coronavirus-covid-19/issue-brief/the-implications-of-covid-19-for-mental-health-and-substance-use/

https://www.kff.org/coronavirus-covid-19/issue-brief/the-implications-of-covid-19-for-mental-health-and-substance-use/

https://www.census.gov/programs-surveys/household-pulse-survey/data.html

https://richarddehoop.nl/upload/file/self-determination.pdf

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[her-culture]

Freshman Year: On Growing and Learning to "Adult"

“If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience...I will dispense this advice now…” —Baz Luhrmann

College (and I can’t stress this enough), will be difficult no matter where you go—and it will be more challenging than you expect. We all believe the age-old tale from our high schools that they were “so challenging that our students breezed through college,” but this is simply not the case. Don’t get me wrong, my high school put me far beyond my classmates in terms of actual academic work—like studying, general knowledge/depth of history, and writing skills—among other things. But what no high school can prepare you for: the abruptness of adulthood after you leave the nest. I’ve considered myself to be independent all my life, but the naivety that blinds us in youth leads us to believe that being independent in high school translates into real life. 

Although I’ve only spent a year away from home, I can assure you that even though you may feel independent, you aren’t—yet. It was a jarring transition, to say the least, but I don’t regret any of my decisions either. I traveled to the other side of the country, and there is no family to support me on the East Coast. This is not to be taken the wrong way; obviously, my family still supports me, but there is no way they can be hands-on from the other side of the country. That’s another thing, we don’t know how lucky we are to have parents who supported us in unspeakable ways in high school. Things like laundry, grocery and toiletry shopping, and the notorious cleaning of your bedroom (which is now your room, living space, kitchen, and office—so even more important for it to be tidy). It’s a very different kind of independence to have to be completely responsible for yourself and keeping your life in order. 

Freshman year, I made an innumerable amount of mistakes, but I have also learned a lot of priceless lessons. Personally, I think my experiences at school were probably noticeably different from my peers because I chose to attend NYU. More so than any other school, I would say that this experience has definitely prepared me for the adult world because of its lack of insulation; I am not on a campus enclosed by iron gates and separate from the rest of the world—I am in the hustle and bustle of a relentless, urban city, but that makes it even better. As the infamous Holly Golightly says, “I love New York, even though it isn’t mine, the way something has to be, a tree or a street or a house, something, anyway, that belongs to me because I belong to it.” I love the constant variety of life in New York; you never know what to expect, but you certainly won’t be disappointed. 

One important thing I learned was to trust my instincts more; usually, your first instinct about something is right. Moreover, it helps you to put your life in your own hands because at the end of the day, you’re the only one responsible. This applies to social issues as well as school, as that intuition has helped me with both. Another thing: you may not have had to meet with your teachers in high school, but meet with your professors, period. First of all, if you need help, they have always clarified questions I had about the lectures, labs, or other coursework. Secondly, they are way more likely to give you the benefit of the doubt in the future in regard to work that you perhaps turn in late, or if your grade is on the brink. Once you distinguish yourself from the masses of a 200-person lecture, which I guarantee not many people do, a plethora of opportunities may come. I have gotten research opportunities, sponsorship to conduct research, extensions, and more; nothing bad (for the most part) can happen from meeting with either your TA or your professor. 

Another thing I wish I had known was to be more outgoing because you never know who you’ll meet or who you’re likely to be friends with at the beginning. Maybe you become friends with the girl who sits next to you in lecture, or you strike a conversation in line at a dining hall, you never know. There were certain instances where I unintentionally isolated myself. For example, going everywhere with headphones on immediately makes you less approachable; I walk everywhere with my Beats on, and I even keep them on when I’m in school buildings. Something I would change is either taking them off altogether or at least having one side off when I’m in spaces with lots of people, especially at the beginning when everyone was getting adjusted. 

Then, there is setting up your room. As far as that goes, I’m so glad I set it up the way I did. I only brought my clothes when I went left home to go to school and bought the other appliances/containers when I arrived. I promise you nothing is worth spending an abundance of money to ship, and you will not need that shower caddy or those drawers until you get there. I made so many amazing memories my freshman year, but the most important thing to remember is to find your happy medium. You have to learn to manage when you’re not doing enough work and when you’re doing too much. You should still be your top priority, and when I say that, I mean not only future decisions but present decisions as well. If you’re tired, sleep! If you’re hungry, eat! Those seem like things that don’t need to be said, but trust me, it will resonate with you at some point in the year. If you’re not in good health, the quality of your work will certainly reflect it. Staying up all night to finish a paper will most definitely result in points off for silly mistakes that you could’ve caught if the sun wasn’t peeking over the buildings into your room. I can guarantee you it’s been better for me to go to bed instead of staying up all night to finish something; even though I’m terrible at getting up in the morning, I’ll get up if I have something important due. 

“Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing Bubblegum.” —Baz Luhrmann

Although I knew what I intended to major in and have stuck with it thus far, most people don’t know what they’re going to study yet. I didn’t know for sure what I wanted to minor in when I started, but after taking a couple classes, I had a much better idea. The best thing you can do for yourself is to take a class just because you’re interested in it because you might discover something new about yourself. I definitely would consider myself a risk taker, but more of the calculating sort. College is a place to get out of your comfort zone and try new things. In retrospect, I wish I had taken this advice earlier. 

Taking risks has only offered me good things, and you also know yourself much better than you think you do if you take them as well. As I previously said, follow your gut, it will rarely fail you. Make smart choices about your classes, but the beginning is the best time to experiment. There’s no reason to worry about declaring a major or attending graduate school when you first arrive at college; I find myself doing this sometimes and still have to remind myself that there’s still time. 

Another important thing about the future: talk to your advisors. If you’re honest with them about opportunities you’re interested in taking (i.e. studying abroad, maybe an ambitious class, etc.) and problems you’re having, they can help you a lot more. I set up an appointment with my advisor about an issue I was having in a class and by the conclusion of my 20-minute meeting, I had devised a plan of action. The future shouldn’t be something to worry about as long as you’re being responsible about it.   

“Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth. But trust me on the sunscreen.” —Baz Luhrmann

The quotes from Luhrmann’s “Everybody’s Free To Wear Sunscreen” are thanks to my mother; she used to play us the song, but the words resonate infinitely more now than they did as a little girl. Most importantly, “don’t be so hard on yourself,”—another thing my mother likes to tell me. I have learned so much and grown exponentially in the past year, and we have to give ourselves credit. We can still hold ourselves accountable for our actions, but if you feel yourself growing and prospering,pat yourself on the back. It’s so often conflated with not acknowledging mistakes and even excusing them, but there’s a difference. We’re only human, and we’re going to make mistakes sometimes, but if you take every “oops” as an opportunity for growth, that’s when you know you’re truly starting to understand what it means to “adult.” Also, I have so many unforgettable memories and people from my freshman year—so don’t forget to enjoy it! You only get to be a freshman once, so make sure you do all the freshman things and that you explore the city you go to school in. I can’t tell you how many of my friends have never been to The Met or Soho when we live in a global hub of art and culture. The world is such a beautiful place, and it helps ease the pressure to stop and smell the roses sometimes. Go for a walk, visit a museum, or watch the sun set. As someone wise once told me, “don’t wish your life away.” I don’t wish to be any older or younger than I am now: on the cusp of adulthood and consistently on the brink of achieving my dreams—small and big.